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always blows my mind how many european countries still have monarchs. what do you mean you have a king. kill that guy

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hey babe im gonna be home late tonight do you mind picking up dinner. yeah sorry the king has us working over time, some fuckin egghead sat on the wall and had a GREAT fall. we've got all the men working on this but idk if we're gonna be able to put him back together again. yeah we've tried the horses. ok bye love you.

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Saw a post pointing out that the idea of a Saturday-Sunday weekend is in itself cultural Christianity being applied to the whole “secular” world, that in Israel the weekend is Friday-Saturday and in some Muslim-majority countries the weekend is Thursday-Friday or only Friday (in others it’s Friday-Saturday as well.)

Anyway to make a truly secular and inclusive world I propose a Monday-Wednesday work-week and a Thursday-Sunday weekend. I think anyone of any or no religion could all get behind this.

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h-hey guys

apparently clouded leopards can use their claws to hang upside down

wild huh

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you're so beautifol :) may i sense you with my feelers

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in the club freakin it in a sensitive style

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Gripping Mystery: someone you've never seen before in your life is marked “👥 Mutuals” in your notes. Now you must figure out who the fuck changed their URL and PFP at the same fucking time.

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Anti public defender sentiment NOW of all times has GOT to be a psyop and I’m not being hyperbolic

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bruce wayne maintains a presence on all conspiracy theory boards with the screen name BruceWayneIsTheBatman and all his posts have titles like “BRUCE WAINE IS BAT-MAN INDISPUTABLE PROOF” and it’s just a picture of Bruce Wayne from the back next to a picture of Batman from behind and they both have the contours of their butt drawn on in a shitty MSPaint red line (note: Bruce is in a suit and Batman has a cape, neither of their butts are clearly discernible) and the quote “THE BUTTS MATCH!!! THE FACTS DON’T LIE!!!!!” and he makes at least three of these posts a day, and “Bruce Wayne is the Batman” becomes a meme a la “Ted Cruz is the Zodiac Killer” and he gets asked about it on a talk show and he laughs uproariously at the idea and Stephen Colbert just HAPPENS to have a batman mask under the desk and they do a bit together where Bruce Wayne puts on the mask and walks around saying things like “excuse me, bank robbers, can I perhaps offer you some money to stop you robbing this bank?” and “I say, cease and desist your criminal behavior or I’ll have my butler ask you to leave” and the audience is LOSING THEIR MINDS laughing at the idea of this pampered rich guy taking on the Joker on a bi-weekly basis and then anyone who suggests “Bruce Wayne is Batman” in earnest gets met with mocking “oh man do the butts match” comments

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it’s funny that people on twitter hate tumblr so virulently bc i get it if you are logging on for the first time in 2025 tumblr probably does suck. however i wouldn’t know because i have been carefully curating my dash experience and mutual circle since 2011 and my circle of tumblrinas taken by itself is the greatest social networking site of all time

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“Run!” I cried, cryingly! “It’s Geoff the Killer!”

“That’s right,” The pale freak snarled, brandishing the Knife, “And I’m going to— wait did you just spell my name ‘Geoff’ what the hell is wrong with you”