#I guess frost is the main focus here though lol

[lcec0ldheart]

Random OC stuff of the day #2: What if the trio was in pokémon horizons?

I’m gonna be honest, I haven’t been feeling too good over the past day and I’m hella tired. I got ideas but i dont feel like writing them djdjddj so have something i cooked on priv

Sorry for the twitter jumpscare lmao but yeah. Explorers AU. At first I was like “found family for Violet and Amethio finally has someone his age to be around🎉” i kinda want to write a fic about that lol at some point but now I’m thinking about how hellish it would be to be Spinel’s subordinate if you’re not named Frankie (great oc btw she’s a cool oc by gem-in-the-horizon), especially since he’s so young and traumatized already. I’d imagine Spinel would have a fun time breaking him.

We saw what he did to Liko, without showing any remorse, now if he had complete power over this 15 year old kid that’s working for him? I think he’d be even worse. Spinel likes messing with people because he’s curious and its entertaining. Spinel’s a smart cunning guy who doesn’t care and that’s kind of terrifying

I may draw my ocs in pokémon soonish, although Frost did originate frm a pokemon rp anyways lol

(TW: Mind manipulation, memory erasure, also generally a guy taking advantage of a kid and mentally grooming him, this was hard for me to write too)

It starts relatively mild, at first.

Comments about how he’s been failing lately, how he’s looking more tired, how he’s not been enough. It hurts, of course, but Frost’s been through it before

Then Spinel starts testing with him.

Putting him in situations to see how a kid would cope with it. Making him do things that are completely against who Frost is. Molding him into something he’s not.

Eventually, Spinel begins to use his Beeheeyem, sometimes hovering over Frost, watching his every move, altering his memories, state of mind, what he thinks about, hell even trying to change who he is, trying to make him into Spinel’s sidekick. His toy. His tool.

It starts working. It took a while to, Spinel doesn’t mind playing the long game, and it’s more entertaining for him anyways, seeing it all drawn out. It was mild, at first, just forgetting where he was before the explorers, having some difficulty recalling what he was into before them, then it became forgetting people before the explorers, and he starts forgetting about his life before he was forced under Spinel entirely. There’s some people he can vaguely remember that stick for some reason, like this kid he met when he was 5 with those bright purple eyes, but other than that, he doesn’t know. He can’t remember.

~~~

Why should I leave? There’s no where else for me to go to. The explorers have always been my home. I’m meant to serve here. I’m destined to, it’s my very purpose, i am here to serve Master Spinel.

That is what I’m good for, and so, I’ll do whatever he desires. If master wants it, I want it. I will do whatever it takes. If I die, oh well, at least I served him well. But that would make me worthless, because I’m here to be his most valuable tool, and I can’t do that if I’m broken.

I’m happy here. This is my home -this is where I am from, and this is where I’ll stay. I am his -and I always will be, because I am Master Spinel’s most valuable possesion. That is what I am. I’m Spinel’s gem -and that’s all I will be. I’m happy with this.

Right?

~~~ OUGH THAT GOT DARK JESUS CHRIST I AM SO SORRY. This is why you dont let me on tumblr past 9 pm-

Anyways uh, if you managed to not be scared off by that, hope you have a good day, i am sorry this was short ive just been tired and today was kinda sucky so. see you tomorrow I guess

[sagemoderocklee]

⭐the most recent chapter of taol with shadow!shikamaru⭐

ohhhhh thank you for asking about this chapter! this is definitely my favorite non-gaalee chapter! it was also the chapter that I was probably the most nervous about because of the direction I took Shikamaru in!

it’s been a while since i published that chapter, so i had to skim before i could really touch on the elements of it that I really wanted to talk about, so sorry this took so long to get to. again, not something i could really reply to in the midst of having my tits tattooed. and i was too tired last night after my appointment to reply to this cause i knew it was gonna be long.

anyways, director’s cut for chapter 11 of The Art of Love is below the cut:

so a quick breakdown of what happened in this chapter to refresh anyone’s memory:

This chapter was a Shikamaru PoV chapter, (and aside from Gaara and Lee, he’s actually one of my fave characters to write. It’s hard to rank who I love writing the most, tbh, but I really do love Shikamaru as a character and enjoying writing from his POV.)

With this chapter, things are really starting to progress in a very material way--we’ve got Shikamaru’s fake arrest, Chouji taking his place in Iron, Shikamaru’s team for a secret mission is formed, and his escape from Konoha takes place. He rendezvous with Team Eight and Sai, and they begin a long journey, posing as civilian travelers who’ve been impact by the outbreaks of violence throughout the last five years.

First they go to a town I made up for this fic, Kōten Outpost, where they uncover a small bit of information. Here, things take a drastic turn: Shikamaru makes a pact with Shadow Kami--a pact that hasn’t been made in hundreds of years, and the records of which are unclear and incomplete. This reveals something about the Nara clan otherwise unknown. They’re abilities to manipulate shadow comes not from chakra specifically, but from ancient pacts, magic that has since been forgotten by shinobi.

This pact poses a danger to Shikamaru, to his teammates, to the world, but he takes it on because he is more than determined to rescue Temari. He cannot possibly predict the consequences of the pact, but he knows it will give him unimaginable power. Power he definitely cannot control.

After this, they move northward, making their way out of Fire Country and into, first Steam Country (originally Hot Water Country), and then Crystal Country (originally Frost Country). Their goal is to make their way to Kumogakure in Lightning, but posing as civilians means traveling slowly. And Shikamaru is no longer in the best condition as he struggles against an unimaginable force that now lives within him.

The journey from town to town, and village to village takes months. They disguise themselves in numerous ways, and eventually they do make it into Lighting, a harrowing feat made possible by Shikamaru’s growing strength and understanding of the Shadow Kami.

The chapter ends here, after they’ve crossed the boarder into Lightning.

So, brief(ish) recap.

I think the main things I’d really love to talk about are Shikamaru’s pact with the Shadow Kami, the team he put together, Hinata’s role, some of the minor worldbuilding that went into this chapter, and his relationship to Temari. Which is obviously a lot to talk about lol but i really love this chapter.

So, to start with, I wanna talk about the less in depth stuff, which would be the team he put together and Hinata specifically.

I think it’s obvious that Team Eight and Sai were the best choices for this incredibly covert operation. Sai with his experience in ROOT and Team Eight as a team of trackers were the best candidates, even though Team Eight doesn’t necessarily specialize in undercover work. My thinking is that every shinobi has to have at least a basic grasp (cough except Lee) of undercover work and disguise. We obviously don’t get a lot of that in the series proper, but the series sort of takes the fact that these characters are ninja as more of a loose concept. ANBU and ROOT are really the closest to actual ninja, I’d say. Whereas Genin, Chuunin, and Jounin are more like your standard military personnel, I guess.

But that all being said, I don’t think you could really have someone be a successful Chuunin or Jounin without some experience and skill in these areas. I mean, as we saw in the first Chuunin exams, one of their tests was literally intelligence gathering without getting caught.

The team itself is large, but I didn’t want to skip out on using any of these characters, because each of them offered something vital to the team, and I don’t think Shikamaru would want to risk not using all the skills available to him that Team Eight and Sai offer. Sai’s obviously the best and most likely to fit into this role, and I think Shino is also well suited to this kind of work, but Kiba and Hinata are a little harder to place here. Kiba because he’s rather brash, and Hinata because she’s so... meek and bland. But Kiba is honestly easier to justify than Hinata from the off.

Hinata is always the character I struggle with the most because she doesn’t really offer us much in the canon. I’m sure someone will tell me I’m wrong or whatever, but Hinata exists specifically as a vehicle for male fantasy fulfillment. She’s fan service. Big tits, sweet, meek, totally devoted to the hero. Her arc revolves around Naruto, she exits to prop him up.

And that was a big reason why I wasn’t going to avoid writing her into TAoL. I couldn’t. I needed to address the issue of her relationship to Naruto, for starters, and I wanted to give her the chance to grow. I like her more when I separate her from Naruto--whether that’s presenting their obviously imbalanced relationship as detrimental to her and thus something she needs to finally let go of, or just not having her interact with him at all (like in Kado).

Shikamaru wondered if Naruto would even care that Hinata's acceptance of this mission was her way of breaking up with him.

I wanted to make it absolutely clear that this was the end of her relationship with Naruto and the start of her becoming her own person. We don’t get her PoV in this story because she’s not a central character in the grand scheme of things, but she has her own journey, and that revolves largely around her being a more competent shinobi and defining herself separate from Naruto. She’s faked an illness without telling him and he never went to see her--their relationship is over, and Hinata can finally move on.

And she starts to come into her own within this journey. She’s not in Konoha anymore. She doesn’t have her father to contend with or her sister or Neji’s death. And she doesn’t have constant reminders of Naruto (except when Kiba’s being an ass). Writing her as a more confident shinobi is... difficult to say the least. I personally don’t think she’s actually suited to shinobi work (politics, sure, but not actual combat), so even though I’m writing her as a more competent shinobi, it was very hard for me to suspend my belief for that. But that’s always been my problem with Hinata, and I kinda had to push myself past that hurdle of “is this recognizably Hinata?” because 1) she isn’t the central figure and 2) I need her to not be too much like Hinata because otherwise their cover is blown. So I can accept that she might come across as a lil OC. She’s undercover anyways, so she’s not gonna act like herself. And again, I want her to be more interesting and more dynamic than she is canonically.

But it definitely was a struggle.

Setting aside the issue of Hinata, I think the most fun I have when writing Naruto fics is really the worldbuilding aspects. For TAoL, I have like countless reference books and my kanji dictionary is always on hand. You can bet that any original towns and characters, I spent a lot of time scouring my kanji dictionary for a good name. Even if the name is fairly innocuous in meaning, I didn’t just pick it at random.

So for instance, Kōten Outpost uses kanji 995 in my kanji dictionary which mens ‘take a turn for the better’. Kōten is at a four way crossroad, and it’s specifically a place for travelers, merchants, etc.

Kōten Outpost was a quaint, sprawling town at a four-way cross-roads and the oldest settlement in Fire.

Long before Konoha or the rule of shinobi, before the daimyo, before the Warring States era, Kōten Outpost had sat like a picturesque painting. In the midst of wars and battles, in the midst of political upheaval and petty squabbles over boarders, Kōten Outpost had withstood the test of time for long centuries and would most likely continue on well after the age of shinobi.

Obviously, if you’re reading TAoL or just about any canon setting fic I write, you know I like worldbuilding. Kōten is a small piece of worldbuilding, whereas Gyokukakushin is a much larger piece, but Kōten still has it’s place within setting the stage and developing the world of Naruto. I really liked coming up with all the different towns in Fire that were affected by the skirmishes, and I really enjoyed imagining what the towns not run by shinobi would be like. What the people are like, what their culture is like, how they feel about shinobi. I think Kōten is a good example of a snapshot of worldbuilding--not a lot of depth per say, but enough that you get the sense of what it’s like.

With this chapter, however, the focus isn’t on the places and the culture of those places, so it really is just snapshots of places. Yugakure, Shimogakure, Kōten Outpost... This chapter is about the desperate hunt for information and doing whatever it takes.

That being said, the worldbuilding element comes into play again in a big way with Shikamaru and the Shadow Kami.

Admittedly, this was not in my original outline of this fic at all. It was something I came up with in the midst of writing this chapter, and it did make me kinda nervous to take this mystical route with Shikamaru given that nothing in the canon supports it. But then again, nothing in the canon supported aliens, and yet we have canonical aliens. \

Anyways, I felt that, despite my anxiety over the reception, Shikamaru was at least suited to this because I think it’s much easier to pull off mysticism with something like shadows. Plus, we don’t have a lot of canonical backstory for most of the clans, and I enjoyed bringing something new into the canon history, something wholly different.

Precautions had been noted in the scroll for this ritual, warnings from the first ones to perform it of the dangers it posed; his ancestors reaching from beyond the past to guide him through a long forgotten practice: Never look upon the Summoned, for they are more than mere shadow. Never show weakness to the Summoned, for they do not borrow hearts and souls, and will not show you any compassion. Never appear before the Summoned without an offering, for they are bottomless voids and will take you if you have nothing to give.

I really wanted to emphasize that the Shadow Kami do not follow human laws and are entities outside of human conception. There’s a lot more planned for Shikamaru and the consequences of what he does here are far reaching. I don’t want to spoil anything, but I can promise that what Shikamaru’s done doesn’t end at the end of this fic. This isn’t a one time deal, like “oh you can use our power for a little while and then we’ll slip away and you can be a normal shinobi again.”

Shikamaru has unleashed something that will live within him forever. And it will pass on to future generations (assuming he has children at any point.) He, of course, knew the risks, but Temari is everything to him, so what’s being a vessel for Shadow Kami if it means having the power to save the woman he loves?

I wasn’t entirely sure how successful I was in conveying these consequences and I really worried over how OP Shikamaru would be, but the questions I always ask myself are:

1. Is this errand? 2. Are there consequences?

And the answer to both of those questions are yes, in this case.

Shikamaru is a genius, and he’s in line to be the head of the Nara clan. He has access to the scrolls that contain these guarded secrets, and he absolutely doesn’t care about the consequences even though he knows there will be heavy ones.

While yes, at this point, Shikamaru has essentially achieved god-like powers, he cannot control them, and he is always going to run the risk of losing himself completely to the shadows. Shadows aren’t human. They don’t have human rules. They don’t have human wants. And the Shadow Kami, like I said, are bottomless voids. They take and take. Shikamaru has to rely on his own willpower to not be lost.

I imagine that the next Shikamaru chapter will explore more of the Shadow Kami history and the Nara clan history, but I think overall, the introduction to the Shadow Kami was good. It’s a hard balance though for sure because on the one hand, the Shadow Kami are a HUGE plot element that needs to be explored and talked about, but I also don’t want to take away from the immediacy of what’s happening in the overall story--the danger that Temari is in, which is always at the forefront of Shikamaru’s mind.

Which brings us to his relationship with Temari.

She’s his motivating factor in all of this. He does care deeply for Kankurou and Gaara as well, but Temari is the love of his life. That’s his everything. I personally am not a fan of maintaining Shikamaru as this like misogynistic person. He was twelve at the start of the series, and I think it’s safe to say he outgrows that, and also his desire not to get married. I think he genuinely values Temari--as a person and as a shinobi. She’s his equal and his partner.

And I think she’s sort of the great equalizer between him and the Shadow Kami:

Shikamaru's resolve hardened. He wasn't shadow, he wasn't just an empty void for them to fill. He might have given up his body and his humanity to them, but he would never give up his love. He sat back down, and forced the shadows to recede from his veins.

I personally feel like Shikamaru as this sort of embodiment of the lazy genius, this very blase and carefree “i wanna look at the clouds” character has a lot of potential to fail and become uninteresting. I think Temari makes him more interesting because she challenges him, and I think that the focus on their relationship really helps to highlight the pull of the shadows. Now he’s in this constant dance between giving himself over completely, and not forgetting Temari.

The antler that comes up repeatedly throughout this chapter is a symbolic link to Temari.

The antler ring tethered him; it was a blinding light to chase away the darkness; a necessary reminder of who he was and what mattered to him.

I think by the end of the chapter it’s fairly obvious what this is meant to be: an engagement ring.

I decided that it was a Nara tradition to make a ring out of antler, and Shikamaru carries this with him, making the ring when he has downtime on the mission. It’s not just a symbolic link to Temari to help him stay grounded, it’s also his assurance that he won’t let her die.

The repetition of the ring as an item on his person is inspired by a creative writing assignment I had back in college. There’s a story called The Things They Carried, and it kinda reminds me of being in theatre and having object work for a character you play. But the idea is that the things a character carries tells you a lot about them. It’s a window into someone’s soul, a way of communicating something about them without outright telling you about them.

So Shikamaru carries this piece of antler, that starts out as nothing more than a piece of antler and slowly turns into a ring, because he’s lost any and all reservations about marriage in the face of losing Temari. His love for her drives him onward, and his love for her is why he can’t fail. The ring is his refusal to fail.

I think that the ring is one of my favorite elements in this chapter. It’s obviously very subtle and small compared to like the Shadow Kami, but it’s such a desperate and beautiful element of romance. The image of Shikamaru awake late into the night, whittling down the antler until it becomes a ring, his promise to Temari whispered into the night. I think that’s powerful, and I think the ring really does highlight that in a way that not even the pact he made does.

And.... that’s I think the main stuff I wanted to talk about!

This particular chapter was actually supposed to cover their time in Kumo, but the chapter itself had gotten so long at that point that it didn’t make sense to keep going. Plus, the way this fic is planned out, it made sense to move everything that will happen in Kumo to a later Shikamaru chapter.

Thank you so much for this ask! It was fun to talk about this chapter! <3

[abreathsecho]

🎶✨when u get this u have to put 5 songs u actually listen to, publish. then, send this ask to 10 of your favorite followers (non-negotiable, positivity is cool) 🎶✨

Oh? 😳 I'm one of your favorite followers? I- I'm actually so touched by that?? That's super cool. I do actually think you and your stuff is pretty cool too, so honestly I consider this quite the honor lol.

As for songs... I'm glad this doesn't ask for favorite songs cuz me and the concept of favorite things isn't a thing lmao. Actually listen to though? Uh, whatever I'm in the mood for/relevant to what I'm doing/story I'm brainstorming for.

So, with that said.

TL;DR version:

Labyrinth by Miracle Musical

I Got No Time, CG5 cover

Brutus by The Buttress

(Secret Bonus Song: Imposter by 1551)

Heartaches, Patsy Cline cover

Haunted Heart by Christina Aguilera

For further explanation (because oh god it go so long and wordy lmao I'm so sorry haha), under read more.

I know we both are anti-Loki series so how's this: I plan to eventually rewrite the Loki series as I would have liked to see it done. A song from that playlist that I feel best represents as a whole the vibe/story that I am planning is Labyrinth by Miracle Musical.

Honestly, I only mostly focus on my own version of Loki as an f/o along with my self-insert character Rose (a self-ship). I haven't written anything out yet (I plan to. One day, amirite lol) but I have playlists of different plot arc ideas as well as different aus (and boy oh boy do I got lots of aus lmao r.i.p. me) Recently, I've been really wanting to/planning to write a little something for Halloween. A human!au of Rose and Loki as teenagers (friends) who do ghost hunting. Mostly, bc Rose wants to do that and Loki just wants to hang with Rose so gets roped into it (the believer and the skeptic, if you were wondering). I'd go into it but basically things relationship-wise goes sideways, college is coming up and they go separate ways except Loki goes and spends 2 or 3 years and comes back to find out Rose disappeared just before college-time. And turns out she went ghost hunting just one last time and didn't return home. 👀 So Lokes and his new best friend, Amora (no romantic feelings, just buds) go do a little ghost hunting adventure all of their own and boy oh boy what do they find. 😏 For a song from Rose's perspective in this au story, I Got No Time covered by CG5.

I also want to write an au of (guess who) Rose and Loki with the monster hunter and monster romance trope. Inspired by Werewolf By Night, of course. With a frost giant-raised Loki, but still obviously has magic and shapeshifting abilities, including looking human. 😏😏😏 Also there's a lot more when it comes to the monster hunters in my story, but basically Rose is the daughter of one of the main families of this collection of monster hunters and Lokes is basically being an uncover spy, worming his way deeper and deeper into the monster hunter group so as to bring it down from the inside. And the best way he sees to accomplishing that end is romancing Rose, who's very clearly insecure and constantly desiring/seeking out her parent's affection/praise (aka an easy target of a weak link). Except, of course, how unfortunate that he ends up actually falling in love with her lmao. (Fake relationship turned real trope? Absolutely, sign me up. 😏) Anyway, a really good song I've found recently that really shows Rose's thoughts/feelings (of anger and jealousy) here when Loki shows ups and joins the group, quickly rising up the ranks and becoming an even better hunter than her (when she was already seen as top dog) is Brutus by The Buttress.

A Secret Bonus Song! Because I do really feel if you don't know about 1551 you really need to hear them. Also, especially, this song (Imposter) because it's so good! The little Among Us piano tune playing in the background. The little malevolent laugh. Mwah! So good.

I also have some other blogs not Loki or Marvel/MCU-related. One of them is BioFuckingShock. I've been making a secret little new Halloween theme for it. (Almost done, gonna change themes tonight so I don't really care if the cat's out the bag now.) On the theme, itself is a music player playing It's just a burning memory from The Caretaker's Everywhere at the End of Time. But before I chose that I made a whole little playlist of possibly eerie little songs that I could imagine playing and hauntingly echo throughout a little town. One of those songs is Patsy Cline's cover of Heartaches. I don't know. I just love it. The kinda groovy beat of the song while still being haunting. Good shit right there.

I also have a Haunted Mansion playlist for the blog I have for that stuff that I also haven't actually really used (lmao, I plan too, soon too, i swear haha 😥). But one of the songs I really like from that playlist is Haunted Heart by Christina Aguilera. So haunting yet the immense feeling of maliciousness just barely under the surface, like just a little twisted malicious grin/smile. If you know the vibes the Haunted Mansion gives, then you get it.

God, there's more songs too that I would just love to share. Partially, because I'm like I don't know if they know this song exists but they Should!! Partially, because I just actually wanna talk about my story ideas but ya know lmao that's a lot to just dump on a person, especially at once. 😂

But I do think this is a good cross-section of stuff, especially that's holding my attention right now. There's still other stuff but I'm not focused on those right now lol. Also, you asked for 5 songs not a million so, ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ maybe another time. (Look, you got one bonus song, let's not make it a billion more lol).

[birger-wuvs-elsa]

Hi! I know you don't know me, but I saw that you wanted to be asked, so I'm here to fire the whole "Fanfic End of the Year Asks" at ya'!

Hello! I don’t think I do, but then again I’m not sure if you know me, so greetings and salutations! X3 Thank you very much, so...HERE I GO, HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

favorite fic you wrote this year

That would have to be A Hell of a Lot of Excitement, this MercyXOC drabble I wrote as a part of an Overwatch OC Week. While I wrote for different days, that one was my favorite. It felt the most exciting, and also the most touching, and I was proud of myself for how well I managed to mesh Overwatch characters with Starcraft, putting the characters of the former into the world of the latter in a successful manner. ^w^

least favorite fic you wrote this year

Welp, since I wrote so few this year and I love them all, this is a bit tricky. X3 But I guess the one I love the least would be... The Story of the Wayfinder and the Ocean Dragon, solely because it was another MercyXOC drabble for that OC Week I mentioned earlier, but the whole story has my OC telling Angela a story...which is actually a reference to another fanfic I have (though tweaked from what I have in mind). So it was kind of two fanfics in one, with the subjects of the story being set aside and focus on another, unrelated story, so it was sorta misleading? Maybe? I dunno? I mean I still loved it, but I had to answer this question. X3

favorite line/scene you wrote this year

Hmm...

Suddenly, she felt cold winds shift around her body, and wrap around her. The icy breezes all but flew straight into the fabric of her dress, and the blonde could feel the ice magic in the wind permeate through her clothing. As her dress began to glow, ice and frost encrusting it and altering its form, a large smile grew on the queen’s face.

Birger was using his ice magic to tweak her dress, like she’d done herself!

Before long, the process had finished, the glow dying down and the ice that was not infused in the fabric had disappeared entirely. The result was so beautiful, Elsa found herself awestruck. It was even fancier and more colorful than her Ice Dress, cobalt and navy blues accentuated by white and turquoise, with light strips of cyan here and there. It was such a fabulous alteration, Elsa knew then and there, seamstresses the land over would be envious for years.

There…a dress truly fit for the Snow Queen…for my heart.

total number of words you wrote this year

If I found everything, then: 41,649 words.

...it could be more. -w-

most popular fic this year

I think that to be my Warcraft fanfic, The Adopted Doomhammer. Birger’s main fic may have the most faves, follows, and reviews, but sadly I think I’ve lost his audience. I’ve gotten next to no new activity for what updates I’ve made to it this year, but my Warcraft story managed to get a fairly good response from its last update of the year so far.

longest completed fic you wrote this year

I don’t believe in completed fics, lol, but...From The Guardian’s Eyes, at 8,005 words, definitely.

shortest completed fic you wrote this year

An Angel and A Dragon, at 751 words.

longest wip of the year

BIRGER’S FUCKING FIC, STOP GIVING ME AUS YOU ASS, I NEED TO FINISH YOUR CANON STORY SO I CAN FINISH THIS THREE-PART SERIES. FROST & SNOW IS THE TITLE OF YOUR “BOOK”, BUT I’VE TWO MORE, YOU SMUG MULE.

shortest wip of the year

The Adopted Doomhammer, for sure.

fandom you enjoyed writing for the most this year

ALL OF THEM. I don’t care how little attention I get, I’ve greatly enjoyed writing for every fandom that I’ve written for.

favorite character to write about this year

Elsa, always Elsa. Between fan and original stuff, I’ve never enjoyed writing a character as much as I have her. It’s almost like she’s standing right behind me, guiding my hand the whole time, it’s a surreally beautiful experience for me.

favorite writing song/artist/album of this year

Anything that doesn’t have lyrics, lyrics distracted me. Either the Frozen score or the Final Fantasy X score get me going the best.

a fic you didn’t expect to write

Every AU Birger ever forced me to write.

something you learned this year

To ignore the silence and keep writing, because no matter how long it takes you between updates, if you can successfully write a new chapter after a 2-year long hiatus and be proud of it, you’ve won. No reviews, faves, or follows? Who cares, you posted, you win.

fic(s) you completed this year

NONE, OTHER THAN THE DRABBLES. X3

fics you’ll continue next year

I’ll always continue fics, it doesn’t matter how much time is in between updates, I won’t give up on a story until I’m dead.

current number of wips

THE SHAME WOULD KILL ME, I’M NOT ANSWERING.

any new fics to start next year

A number so vast my brain would hurt, not answering... TwT

number of comments you haven’t read

Zero. Whether I get one review, or one hundred (hasn’t happened but still could), I always read them. Even the shortest, simplest reviews make me smile and keep me going...which is probably why updating has become so hard. T-T

most memorable comment/review

The review that @thearendork left on Birger’s main fic...while I have received many comments/reviews that I have loved, I cherish that one above all. It was the first and...the last time she reviewed Birger’s main fic. With what happened...that review means the world to me, especially since I never had the honor of knowing her like some lucky souls did.

I still cried, though...

events you participated in this year

Elsaweek, though not as much as I wanted because not a lot of prompts suited me, because I couldn’t figure out how to apply them to writing. Also, the Overwatch OC Week earlier in the year.

fics you wanted to write but didn’t

Too many to count, but one especially was my Elsa X Birger “Lilo & Stitch” AU. I’d made a lot of progress on its first chapter that got lost, so of course my inspiration kind of fizzled.

favorite fic you read this year

Gosh damn you, making me choose...I’ve read so many stories the past few years, I honestly can’t answer this, if only because they’ve all meshed together so thoroughly. I don’t even remember what ones were first read this year.

a fic you read this year you would recommend everyone read

See now, that’s the problem, I’ve been reading a lot of Elsanna (for reasons, shh), and of course I can’t recommend that to everyone. However...if I cheat and pick a fic not from this years...For The First Time In Never by @not-so-secret-nerd is pretty fucking classic, and reading that sharpened my angst knife, lol. Also Birger really loved that story too; I could tell, he kept making me pause my reading just to reimagine the scene I just read with him in it, before he’d let me continue. X3

number of favorites/bookmarks you made this year

...shit...fuck...ummmm...a lot...

favorite fanfic author of the year

These are the evil “Can I Eat The Asker” questions...

longest fic you read this year

Given my earlier answer about how they all blurred together, I’mma skip this one too out of inability. X3

shortest fic you read this year

“Above Answer Here”

favorite fandom to read fic from this year

I have to say, even though I can only answer this question with one fandom due to quantity I’ve read exclusively from it alone...there are some fucking amazing stories in the Elsanna fandom.

least popular fic this year

Because I hate raining on anyone’s day, let me just say there have been EA fics I backed out of because I ran out of tolerance and/or patience.

[wasabi-duck]

prince jungkook

okay everyone i have requests piling on up but good old clinical mental health problems™ are kind of yikes

but royalty au is my FAVORITE you have no idea like it's my fave au besides ouran but like au ohdaibljarh i love it

jungkook is leo lmao jk

so this kingdom is going to be a total rip off of nohr because i love my emo son leo and his dumb retainers

jungkook is the baby of his family, the youngest lil prince in the castle

he's kind of spoiled rotten honestly because his older brothers absolutely adore him, and they shower him in more attention than he knows what to do with

like he could bat an eyelash and hoseok would be at his side, asking if he needed anything

whenever he wants to practice his sparring, yoongi immediately stops whatever they're doing to help with bow and arrow practice or sword skills

jimin ALWAYS sneaks him pastries and buns from the kitchen

speaking of which pineapple buns?? ten out of ten would recommend

and while the princes are beautiful and kind and soft the kingdom itself is not

it's a dark kingdom, a rainy kingdom, where the sun rarely seems to shine

the main focus of the kingdom is agriculture, even though that's always a bust because of the terrible climate

they really make more money through weapon sales and trade all that good stuff

even though the kingdom is kind of tight on money yikes

but it's not like falling to shambles, not at all

the king runs a very tight schedule, and things are very organized, very controlled, very well run

yoongi is next in line for the throne, but the king totally favors jungkook and low key tries to give him more power than the other princes

but jungkook doesn't want that!! he just wants to chill with all his brothers and have a good time!!

okay let's get on with the story because i had a quality idea and boy howdy i sure forget things fast

alright, so the princes are making one of their daily visits to the town

but disguised, because things are no fun when everyone is bowing and trying to kiss your feet

cliche--- but i love it--- they have the really large cloaks and they just keep the cowls up because that would totally work

lol it does in this scenario

they love to look at the local produce, drink cheap ale at the local tavern, play tag with the local kids, and just interact with their people

not something the king does everyday lmao

today, it's rather cold, and jungkook can see that winter is coming by the way frost crawls up the trunks of trees, the way the birds have already started flying south, the way more and more shops close their doors to ward off the wintery winds

the boys still like to visit around town though

jungkook especially loves seeing the transformed landscape

as the youngest prince, he's usually cooped up indoors, listening to his tutor drone on about the influence of naval power upon the world, or balancing books on his head to maintain great posture or some other bs

so he loves being outside to see the pond freeze over, or the dirt start to be painted white due to the little snowflakes

he doesn't like seeing so many people so worried about their futures though

like i said, poorer kingdom, so most of the people suffer through the cold months with one blanket for a family of five, and half a loaf of bread amongst them

jungkook always tries to give people money, but yoongi tells him that's only temporary aid and he will make changes once he's in power

that doesn't ease the hurt in jungkook’s heart though

anyway they're in town right, and the middle two boys have gone off to god knows where, leaving yoongi and jungkook to themselves

they're in the middle of town, strolling amongst the various vendors, examining all the goods made available to them

out of the corner of his eye, he watches someone dart towards the bakers cart

there's a loud crash and jungkook spins around to see you on the ground, loaf of bread tucked under your arm

someone starts shouting and you push yourself off the ground, trying to desperately run for your life

a few soldiers start chasing after you and you're running fast, so fast, you don't pay attention to your surroundings and completely slam into jungkook, causing you to once again fall on your butt

one of the soldiers grabs your a and yanks you to your feet

“common filth like you ought to spend the rest of your days in prison, rotting away until the rats-”

“that's enough.” jungkook snaps

“and who are you to tell me what to do?” the guard laughs

jungkook throws off his hood and the guards immediately fall to their knees, begging mercy

jungkook gives you a soft smile, then devotes his attention to the guards

“how DARE you touch my servant like that.”

“your highness, you must be mistaken, this is a common criminal-”

“no, they are my servant, chosen by me to trust the security of this place. you know our enemies could attack whenever and wherever, and i need you to be on your best watch. clearly, you passed my simple test, and you shall be rewarded for it.” jungkook says, haughty tone to his voice.

he pulls a few coins from his change purse and tosses them to the baker

yoongi watches on silently, thinking of all the various ways he's going to beat jungkook’s insolent little ass tonight

you're shaking, badly, and you can't believe you were just saved by one of the princes, let alone the cutest one

jungkook turns on his heel to leave, and you're like oh gods i need to thank him--

he turns his head “why are you just standing there? no servant of mine should be wasting time, gaping like a complete idiot.”

yoongi: boy what the f u c k

and that's where you find yourself later that evening, standing in jungkook’s room, freshly washed up and dressed in an outfit finer than anything you've seen, let alone worn in your entire life

“i've never had a servant close to my age.” jungkook is sitting on the edge of his bed, kicking his legs back and forth. “this will be fun i think. you're bound to be infinitely better than the boring old ladies that watch over me.”

you're too frightened to speak, so you stand there silently, shoulders tensed, eyes wide, hands clasped in front of you, trying to look anywhere but jungkook

“well come on, aren't you going to tell me your name?”

and so you do, sheepishly, so quiet that jungkook has to ask again

he nods when he finally hears you and then he kinda gets silent because yes he's the prince but he's kind of shy when it actually comes down to talking to people close to him in age

he starts kicking his legs again and then he gives you a quick look over

“well i guess i'll have to find someone to train you…” he says with a sigh

and you're like excuse me what you're the one who picked me off the street honey

but you can’t actually say that to him because like that shiz could get you beheaded or something and that is not what you need in life oh no

so you just kind of follow behind silently as he leads you off to where all the royal butlers and maids hang out and do their training mm hmmm

and when jungkook leads you in everyone is like ooh what’s up with the prince ooh look at the lil cutie he’s brought in

and they’re all like old so they can tease him like that because they practically raised this boy??

jungkook gets all red and he starts to stammer how it’s not like that and how he just wanted someone closer in age to serve him

and he just is like gotta blast sorry everyone

and so he leaves right away, not even giving you a good bye

you blink and all the servants swarm you, asking how you got jungkook to fall in love with you so quickly and you’re like in love what does that meaN

after all their inspecting and gossip about you, they actually get down to business about what you gotta do for jungkook as his new personal maid/butler

it seems simple

you have to accompany him to all his meetings, whether they be negotiations, tutoring lessons, or even dinner

you’re supposed to stay back and be like a shadow, just keeping an eye in case the dearest prince should ever need something

you also have to serve him tea in the afternoons, or at least, know how to

you need to help him dress in the morning and at first you’re like red in the face, sweating nervously, stuttering because what???

but the servants tell you that this job is only for really formal occasions, like when foreign princes and princesses come to visit and jungkook is too impatient to figure out how to wear his sash smh

basically you have to attend to his every need and you’re like great, i cannot wait, i’m ecstatic

or maybe, every time you touch, you feel the static (w/jungkook) and that’s why you’re so excited mm hmm

rijijaijajirt anyway

you’re super nervous especially since you just came off the streets, literally, like you have no social status or skills or ability to actually serve jungkook well

you’re like i will be beheaded within five days

you get the rundown on the whole thing, the whole job thing

and then the servants take you down to the servants’ quarters so you can set up a bed and sleep early so you’re well rested for the big day tomorrow

you set up a little spot in the corner of your room, and you’re like alright, i just need to sleep and maybe i’ll realize this is all a dream

nah fam

it’s not

because in burst jungkook, forlorn and confused look on his face

the servants are all rushing to bow and like ask what the deal is because royalty are so above entering the servants’ quarters (save hoseok who likes to come down every morning and say hi)

and jungkook points at you all accusing “aren’t you coming back? it’s been like three hours, you’re supposed to be back”

you look around at all the servants because “y’all just said i could sleep”

but they shrug and start to shoot each other looks and you realize that it’s ‘me against the world’

wow getting all the iconic songs in here tonight

you try to hide yourself in the corner but jungkook has obviously spotted you and he gives you this look

“i need your assistance, isn’t that your job? to assist me?”

you inwardly groan but give a nod of the head because this boy did save your life, you kinda owe him big time

“come on then!”

jungkook turns on his heel and you follow close behind, the other servants giving you winks and grins as you walk by

jungkook takes you back to his room and you’re like what it is late and i am tired and-

he just plops down on his bed and crosses his legs criss cross apple sauce and smiles all cute and you feel your heart start to stir at the innocence of him

“i want you to read to me.”

“you what now.”

“are you questioning me?”

“i mean, of course. which book your highness?”

jungkook points to one over on his night stand and you pick it up and inwardly stab yourself because it’s a history book about famous battles of lost kingdoms

jungkook looks so excited though and his eyes light up and you’re like oh my god fine…

you don’t know where to stand though and you kind of stand there awkwardly and open the book but it feels like you’re preaching to him or something

jungkook rolls his eyes and scoots over on the huge canopy bed and pats the now empty space beside him

“when i was little, my brothers would always read to me. yoongi was the worst. he always spoke all monotone and he would tell me horror stories and i would cry and then jimin would have to calm me down. yoongi is mean.”

when you don’t take the seat, he turns his head “i command you sit next to me.”

so you take a reluctant seat beside him with the heavy book still in your arms, doing your best not to look over at jungkook because you know that it’s wrong to look royalty in the eye let alone touch them

or like, idk, sit on their bed

while they are also sitting on the said bed

“hoseok was the best at reading. whenever he would read me fairy tales, he would change voices for all the characters!! he would always make them so exciting and give everything a happy ending…”

“so you have three brothers then?” you ask slowly, knowing that you’re not supposed to address jungkook so… familiarly

“three. i’m the baby. me and hoseok have the same mom, so maybe that’s why he likes me the most.” jungkook turns to face you. “but yoongi is the only son of the actual queen. so he’s the one who’s next in line obviously. he’s the one who was out with me! he likes me a lot too. jimin likes me too.”

“everyone likes you it seems.”

“i hope so.”

you two fall silent but it’s not really uncomfortable, just wary, because you two are in very distinct and separate roles that should never ever be more than a prince and servant, like they shouldn’t ever grow beyond that

but jungkook seems so… genuine? he saved your life and he treats you like an equal already, going as far to talk to you so openly about his family and everything? amazing, what a hero

anyway monsta x hero japanese version actually flows very nicely and you can tell they put a lot in time into making the japanese work with the music and beat so check it out my dudes

also anyone trying to go their concert…

okay anyway you start reading and it’s the most boring and dry thing you have ever read in your entire freaking life and you just wanna fall asleep but jungkook seems pretty fascinated so you keep going for his sake

it’s really pretty bad like you have no idea what pineapples have to do with warfare but they’re a pretty key role in this book

jungkook is practically leaning on your shoulder now because he wants to see all twenty seven of the pictures and he’s so excited by them

“it’s because, since i won’t have to get married because our kingdom pisses everyone off, i’ll probably be commander of the army or something. when yoongi steps down i mean. because he’s the one who has to be married, because he’s the only non-bastard son, ya know?”

you glance over at him “but aren’t you scared?”

“no. i live on adrenaline.”

and as you serve jungkook more and more you find that to be true

jungkook does whatever he wants whenever he wants

like one day you’re bringing him the afternoon tea and he’s busy messing around with his loyal doggy that you have to be like “yO YOUR HIGHNESS”

“you can just call me jungkook you know”

he’s bored and wants someone to spar? well it’s time to hop on yoongi’s bed and smash him until he can’t breathe

it’s cold in the castle? time to go and steal all of hoseok’s clothes? (which often end up having to be mended because hoseok is so thin and jungkook is so muscular that… rip (get it because he’s ripped, and the clothes rip…)

where did all of jimin’s dessert pastries go? oh wait they’re stuffed in jungkook’s cheeks

most of your days are spent trying to keep jungkook out of trouble rather than actually helping him do anything

jungkook doesn’t do it to be mischievous or anything, it’s mostly because he wants the attention of his older brothers who are all suddenly too busy to pay much attention to him anymore

he doesn’t actually say that but you can tell

he keeps interrupting literally anything they do and yes they love jungkook but it’s hard to work when he’s disrupting everything

jungkook ends up being such a disturbance that he ends up in solitary confinement

seriously

the king has done had it with jungkook, which is rare, and he tells him he needs to stay in his room until he learns how to behave

jungkook whines and complains but then he figures out you’re basically trapped with him so he’s pretty okay

“chess?’ is the first thing he suggests

“is the purpose to get rid of the king?”

and instead of screaming nOOoOOoooOOooooooOOOoo like casey, the resident asshole of my math class, he offers to teach you how to play since you two have like all the time in the world

all the time in the world being until dinner later that evening

you two sit down in the spacious room and he sets up the chess board

the pieces are glass, and they’re so intricate and beautifully carved and you’re so scared that you might break them or something but jungkook reassures you that everything will be okay and that they would want to be used

he tosses you your queen or king and with a wink goes “wow look the chess piece that represents you”

“wow, did jimin teach you that one?”

“yoongi actually”

“wow, impressive”

you can’t help but blush as you set up your pieces though

you still have no idea how to play though, and you sit there kind of dumbly as jungkook poises, ready to move his first piece

“oh, how could i forget?”

he starts going over all the pieces, and how many spaces they can move and how, and how the game actually works and i’m not actually sure because nobody would answer me in math today smh

but then

then he grabs your hand and delicately guides your fingers to move your first piece and now your heart is racing and your face must be red as the draping over his bed but you try to keep it cook because servants can’t just up and fall in love with their princes, that’s not allowed

oops too late i guess…

jungkook is bad at chess because he’s impatient and he doesn’t really like to take much time planning his moves

which is okay in your book because he likes it’s cute to see him get worked up and puff his cheeks out when you take out one of his pieces

i have the ap language exam tomorrow wait a second

he complains and whines and tells you that you’re cheating by distracting him but he just doesn’t like to lose

but he wants you to win because your eyes light up and you get all smiley when you take another one of his pieces and wow he is in love

he is in like, love is a big commitment and hoseok already warned him that their father would be furious if jungkook fell for you, even if he is the favorite son

jungkook told hoseok that nothing like that would ever happen but lol here we are my dudes, here we are

after you crush jungkook in chess, he decides that the next best thing to do to win his honor back is play you in dice

which he also loses at because he likes seeing your smile too much and his honor is something he’s willing to sacrifice if you’re happy in the end

“i’m so sad that i lost, maybe you should make it up to me.” jungkook pouts, flinging himself onto his bed dramatically soon afterward

“well what did you have in mind?”

“tell me a story.”

so you walk over to his bookcase, the one full of tales of old, and reach out to grab the history of war for what has to be the millionth time

but jungkook stops you with a soft, “no, from your head.”

like so many times before he pats the empty seat beside him, and you take your seat, snuggling you back up to the fluffy pillows

you take a deep breath and begin

“there once was a prince in a far away kingdom, with dragons and warlocks and pegauss knights. he was youthful and bright, with eyes like a deer and the curiosity of one too. he had the sweetest smile and the chubbiest cheeks and his nose was too big for his face, but in an endearing, adorable sort of way. the prince was adored by everyone, from his father, to his brothers, to the townspeople. everyone had heard of his skill with a sword, his knowledge of the worlds around him, but mostly his kindness that stretched even to the most lowly of people.”

you expect jungkook to say something saucy in remark but he listens with rapt attention, his gaze focused on you and you alone

“the prince loved everyone, but he couldn’t seem to ever find it in his heart to believe in himself.”

you know this to be true about jungkook

you’ve watched him spend countless hours sparring, and then beating himself up about messing up one move out of seven million, then pick his sword back up to practice once again

you see him as he preens and preps to dress more like yoongi, to walk more like hoseok, to converse more like jimin in the most subtle ways possible

he constantly finds things about himself to pick apart, and it breaks your heart

“the prince was always so busy caring for others, that he forgot to care for himself.”

jungkook rests his head on your shoulder and inhales slowly

you take a deep breath

you close your eyes

and then you take your hand in his, intertwining your fingers

jungkook gives your hand a tight squeeze

the story continues, and then the story soon ends, though jungkook has fallen asleep on your shoulder and will not hear of how the prince and his ever loyal servant end up with the happiest of endings

“and they lived happily ever after.” you whisper, leaning down and kissing the top of his head

you don’t remember drifting off but you sure as heck do, because the next thing you hear is hoseok’s shrieking

like shrieking as in he probably get stabbed and the castle is under attack

you go to get up but there is an arm around your torso and a face buried in your back and you’re finally piecing everything together

“jungkook, you gotta let go-”

another horrified shriek from hoseok

“i mean your highness------”

hoseok runs over to the two of you and shakes jungkook awake

“hurry up, if you two are in love which by the looks of it, you are, there’s only a limited amount of time that i can marry you before father finds out. i may not be ordained, but i could bullshit my way through it”

jungkook pushes himself up groggily and stares down at you because what are you doing here??

oh wait a second

hoseok is pulling at both of your arms but it’s too late, in walks the king, with jimin and yoongi pulling at his arms to try and stop him

the king stares at the scene, at hoseok trying to block to you, at jungkook yawning with his arm still around your waist, at your absolutely horrified face

“jungkook”

“father no, wait-”

“this isn’t your battle to fight hoseok, now leave”

“father, pl-”

“i said LEAVE”

the other three princes scurry out and now it’s just you, jungkook, and the king

he’s an intimidating man, muscular as jungkook, but with a hard face and sharp features

you and jungkook rush to stand up and bow, you avoiding his gaze at all costs

the king walks over and commands you both to stand

you’re trembling now and jungkook holds onto your hand in an attempt to somehow reassure you, but it’s not happening because you feel like you’re about to break down in tears now

the king won’t say anything and it seems like time has frozen completely

but then he pulls jungkook into his arms and hugs him tightly

you’re both in shock to say the least

the king hugs jungkook tighter “my precious son, how you’ve grown”

and then the king pulls you into his arms and now it’s a family hug and you’re wondering why this is happening and how he is okay with this but then you remember that jungkook’s mother was a maid

and suddenly things are starting to make more sense

“father, i… i love them”

“as i’ve noticed my boy.”

jungkook nods and you can see the tears in his eyes, and you can see the tears in his father’s eyes

“i remember when you were first born… you were so small, so helpless… now look at you, pulling the same tricks i did when i first met your mother.”

he ruffles jungkook’s hair and now all of you are laughing softly, at ease at the way the situation played out

hoseok pokes his head in the door “so when’s the wedding?”

yes, there is a wedding

a grand and beautiful wedding to which the entire kingdom is invited to attend

complete with thousands and thousands of flowers

with a giant cake that jimin keeps trying to swipe icing off of

with hoseok sobbing his eyes out and continually trying to pull jungkook into a tight and bone-crushing hug

with yoongi being the one who volunteers to walk you down the aisle

and yes, jungkook is too impatient to figure out just how to put his suit on correctly, sash and all

your hands are shaking as you fix the crown atop his head

and your hands are shaking hours later when he slips the silver band onto your finger

and yes, they are still shaking when you cup his face in your hands and lean in for your first kiss with the boy you are going to spend the rest of your life with