#otp: i fear no fate (for you are my fate)

[illumiera]

this probably isn't the first time i've rambled about this, but i'm just thinking about young miraak back in atmora, and how one day, he fell into a thawing frozen lake and almost drowned. half-conscious, he vaguely remembers someone pulling him out. from the brief glimpse he caught of her, he assumed she could be none other than dibella, goddess of beauty, art, love, and music.

as an adult, he became a devotee in spite of the dragon cult; in secret, he spent hours carving a tiny miniature figurine in her likeness, right down to the long waves of hair, and kept it in his breast pocket always. i think it gave him strength. helped him keep a piece of himself, even when he was stripped of his birth name and forbidden to show his face to another living soul.

even in apocrypha, after mora tricked him into bargaining away his memories—nirn, his name, his own face, and the dragon-souled woman with long waves of hair he met in his dreams—he kept it.

and all along, that was elentari, once again guided by fate through time to save him when he needed her the most. he unknowingly carried a figurine of his most beloved goddess in his soulmate's exact image for four entire eras—

[kori-senpai]

HOI im still on the ground crying and gazing at ur art ;w;w;w; but i wanted to ask if it's alright if i link ur art in the notes of grapevine!!! 🧡🧡

Haha, yes of course!! I'd be honored beyond measure ଘ(੭ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ✩‧₊˚

Im happy you liked the drawings. I heard so many horror stories about authors randomly blocking and ignoring fan artist and that's why it took me so many years to actually draw fanart for something. But your fic just-- ugh. I HAD to! So thank you for giving me the boost to overcome that little fear :))

[illumiera]

@bougainvillea-and-saltwater I think Jia and Miraak might like these as much as Ellie and her Miraak would... 😊

I want these as windows in my house

[allwaswell16]

All the One Direction fics I read and enjoyed in Sept 2024. You can listen to my podcast to hear me talk about each of these fics as well as an overview of what was posted on ao3 including the fics on this month’s fic roundup [ @1dmonthlyficroundup ] which you can find here! Please let the writers know if you liked the fics by leaving kudos and comments! Happy reading!

Fanfictional Podcast #66 |  ko-fi | fic recs

- Louis / Harry -

🩵 Better is the End by LadyLondonderry / @londonfoginacup

(M, 26k, Greek mythology) Louis stands at the entrance to the labyrinth, and knows that this is the end. No one escapes from the labyrinth. No one can defeat the monster inside and make it back out alive.

🩵 Sugar, Sugar by @parmahamlarrie

(E, 25k, sugar daddy Louis) Meeting your soulmate was the most joyous event of one’s life… or at least, it’s supposed to be. Harry, in all of his 25 year old wisdom, was suspicious of the role fate plays in everyone's lives. He'd rather focus his time dating older men he meets off of a sugar baby website.

🩵 Break (Up)? Coming Right Up! by The_Halcyonic_Lachesist / @chai-hat-tea

(M, 14k, breakup) Louis promised Harry that they would always be together, but when Harry's dreams get in the way, will Louis be able to keep his word?

🩵 Like A Miracle by crimsontheory / @ireallysawanangel

(M, 12k, established relationship) Louis thinks he finally knows what it feels like to be truly nervous now that he has one very important question to ask his boyfriend. Part 4 of Marcel series

🩵 touch me baby, put your lips on mine by @insightfulinsomniac

(E, 12k, pwp) the soft and sweet sex party fic with a dash of dom/sub dynamics and a LOT of public sex.

🩵 Smells Like TEAM Spirit by @persephoneflouwers

(NR, 10k, high school) Punk Louis and quarterback Harry have been secretly dating for years. Feeling overwhelmed by his commitments, Harry suggests a short break, fearing he can't give Louis enough time. As Louis reflects on his vulnerabilities, Harry struggles on the field without him.

🩵 This Ain't Red Wine by LetTheMusicMoveYou / @letthemusicmoveyou28

(E, 9k, supernatural) the one where Human Louis accidentally finds himself at a Vampire only party which actually turns out to maybe not be the worst thing

🩵 Haunting Beauty by 4ureyesonly28 / @evilovesyou

(G, 6k, ghost Louis) It’s 1988. Harry has just finished his first year of teaching English and looks forward to a relaxed break. Louis is a poltergeist and has different plans for Harry’s summer.

🩵 Good-Old Fashioned Lover Boy by not_fitzwilliam / @not-fitzwilliam-darcy

(NR, 5k, omegaverse) When a miscalculated decision leads to an accidental courtship with the sweetest, most gentle alpha, Harry is torn between breaking the alpha's heart and telling the truth. 

🩵 we could be enough by @hellolovers13

(M, 5k, omegaverse) Louis never imagined anyone could love him for who he truly is. Then he meets Harry.

🩵 Only Angel by starryhaze / @starryhaze28

(E, 5k, pwp) the one where Louis is in Japan and stumbles upon a boy wearing angel wings

🩵 this cage was once just fine by amomentoflove / @daggerandrose

(T, 3k, uni) the one where Harry pines for Louis

🩵 A Tight Space by @haztobegood

(T, 2k, shapeshifter curse) Louis startles with a hand to his chest. “What the fuck was that?” “Oh, that’s the cat. I told you Liam found a stray a few days ago. That’s him.” “Are you sure that’s a cat?”

🩵 The Wilds - Timestamps by @jaerie

(E, 2k, omegaverse) The fact of the matter was that they were still bonded. And since they were just like any other bonded pair, Louis really wanted his knot. Part 3 of The Wilds

🩵 we could be the greatest team by 5sexualhomos / @hogwartzlou

(G, 1k, friends to lovers) Imagine your OTP accidentally and unofficially moving in together. Bonus points if they aren't dating at the beginning.

🩵 Singing Like a Bird 'Bout It Now by QuickedWeen / @becomeawendybird

(G, 1k, meet cute) Dr. Louis Tomlinson is worn to the bone, but only has a few patients left before the end of the day. One of those appointments takes quite a few twists and turns.

🩵 The Ball Guy by @homosociallyyours

(T, 1k, humor) Harry is an unpaid intern on his first film set, and he's pretty excited to see that his number one celebrity crush, Louis Tomlinson, will be a part of the movie. He's on the call sheet for the day, followed by a very odd addition: a ball guy?

🩵 Wordplay 2024 (series) by @kingsofeverything

Nest (G, 100 words) Harry wakes up first. Tight (NR, 100 words) Louis comes home early. Carry (NR, 100 words) Baby bump. Press (E, 100 words) Louis asks for it. Interference (G, 100 words) Bottom of the ninth.

- Rare Pairs -

🩵 circling the truth by we_are_the_same / @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed

(T, 3k, Liam/Louis) Liam Payne has met his soulmate. He knows he has, because he woke up with his power this morning.

🩵 'Cause What I Want Came True by @lululawrence

(NR, 1k, Louis/Diego Luna) He’d known Diego was attractive, the few photos he had shared on the dating app had made that clear, but there was something about seeing him in person that made him feel… more.

[highlordofkrypton]

Tag game for fanfiction authors!

Thank you so much for the tag @angelosearch! I'm going to tag @goforth-ladymidnight @praetorqueenreyna @achaotichuman @yaralulu @goldheartedchaoticdisaster @thedickgraysons @chunkypossum and whoever wants to join pls! I'm really bad at remembering who are all the writers!

TELL US

The story you're proudest of

I have two fics that I'm especially proud of!

Wildflowers, which is my ACOTAR prequel. It's my first fanfiction written and posted online, and the first story I wrote start to finish. I tried my best to give depth to the world and the side characters. I do think some people are turned off by the main characters/ship, but it's so much more than that. It's also spawned so many side stories which is so exciting!

Regrets, which is my first SUPERBAT that I ever posted. I think it's a really good reflection of my style which balances emotion, humour and intimacy. I'm so happy my first attempt at writing my OTP turned out SO WELL.

Your story that's gotten the most love online:

The answers are the same as above, but for different reasons.

Wildflowers has gotten a lot of praise for multiple elements in the story, and I feel like those who read it all found different parts to enjoy. It's one of those stories that are really fun to talk about, and there's so many little nods here and there. It makes me happy to see that readers are noticing them. Wildflowers also has original additions (like family members of the main characters) that everyone loves as much as I do!

Regrets has the most kudos, but like mentioned above, it's a classic ship and a good balance of fluff and angst elements! I had so much fun writing it, and I think that came through in the piece.

Tease a current WIP or idea you're working on:

I've been wanting to tease NEEDLE & KING (wip title, subject to change), which is the prequel/side story for Rhysand's parents.

It was supposed to be a shorter, contained story about their romance, but now it's become a lore exercise, an exploration of cultural displacement in fantasy, starts off as a female-focused cast, etc.

Chapter 1 Flying

At the end of the world, Lilith thinks of nothing. No home to yearn for, no family to miss her—at least, not for long—and no future to look forward to.  She stands on the edge of a mountain’s peak, one of two Wolf’s Fangs, and feels. The world comes into her through the howls of the wind and the bite of the cold against her barely covered arms. Clouds stand between her and the bottom, if she could even see that far on a clear day. Her life, until now, has been a series of instances that have happened to her rather than experience. The absence of her father, the death of her mother, the fear that looms above her—she is at the mercy of everything around her. Here, the ice demands her wakefulness. Here, the skies challenge her. Here, every breath is earned. The height of the mountain is the only time she feels alive, so what is that feeling when she steps off its edge and careens downwards. Down, down, down, she goes with a whistle—a force against gravity. At the bottom, reality will come crashing down, but she can solve that problem quite easily. Just… fall. Her black wings strain against the fall, and she grits her teeth. It’s not in her nature to fall; she will never accept her fate. Lilith wages war against nature itself, demanding her muscles to yield to her will. A loud flapping noise signals her success, the membranes of her wings cradling the air itself to take her in an arc, a low swoop and then up again. She glides through the clouds, occasionally drawing her dark wings to herself and allowing herself to plummet before catching herself again. Lilith had taught herself to fly. It was the only thing she can control in her small, small life. Her flights have no destination, and they are timeless. She flies for as long as she can. She pushes as far as she can go because she never knows when it will be her last time.

Like any draft, this may be subject to change. The first scene I usually write for any draft is the one that 'sets' the tone of the story.

Fun fact - Lilith is a name/character that pops up in all my stories either as some weird writing signature/nod, or as a main character. She's a hyperfixation that started with Diablo and never left, but she's become her own phenomenon for me and my writing.

Your top 3 fandoms: that I write in... ACOTAR & DC Comics. I currently don't have time to write in a third one, woops.

Your top 3 ships: If it's what I've written for, then the answers are Tamlin x Rhysand, Bruce x Clark and Orm x Clark. If it's what I enjoy personally, then it's all of the above + many, many crackships.

Rec someone else's fic: Without a doubt, the people I've tagged above have amazing fics. I haven't had a chance to read their works in their entirety, but I've participated in challenges with them, creeped on their works, and they are SO GOOD! Please go check them out! Their fics are on my to-read, but part of my writing process is to just write without reading, so once I'm done my current fic, I will be going through each work to add comments and properly devote the love and attention they deserve.

Pick one!

Fluff or Angst - I cannot NOT write angst, but I believe that both (one into the other) create incomparable emotional depth.

Oneshots or longfics - I prefer reading oneshots, but I cannot stick to one chapter for the life of me.

Canon compliance or canon divergence - I have the worst memory, I couldn't be canon compliant if I wanted to...

AO3 or FF.net

[emyn-arnens]

I’ve rounded up some of my favorite Aegnor/Andreth fics and put them into a rec list. Some are sweet, some are heartbreaking, some are a little of both, and all are beautifully written. Please leave a kudos and comment if you enjoy!

Note: Works marked with “character death” either begin with one or both of them dead, or one or both of them die during the course of the story. Links lead to AO3 or the SWG.

Across the Gulf by Antiheld (T, 3.1k):

A brief moment of rebelling against fates. Andreth/Aegnor Oneshot, AU(ish)

A Few Good Years to Spend by Verecunda (G, 4.7k):

“Tell him not to be reckless. Not to seek danger beyond need!” Once, Aegnor turned away from the desires of his heart. But when Finrod gives him a message from Andreth, the love he gave up so long ago will no longer be denied.

All in Patience, All in Haste by EilinelsGhost (G, ~700 words):

A month or two after the Athrabeth, Andreth receives another Arafinwëan visitor.

A Moth in Amber by Mithen (G, 1k, character death):

Andreth and Aegnor had one spring together, and each of them carried it in their hearts the rest of their lives.

Burnt Sugar by @sallysavestheday (G, ~200 words):

Aegnor and Andreth and fires in the dark.

Candlelight On Tapestry by amyfortuna (G, 1.1k, character death):

In the Halls of Mandos, Aegnor spends his time staring into memories and dreams, until he's shaken out of them by an unexpected meeting.

Clear Visions by @hhimring (T, 1.2k):

Aegnor sings to Andreth of Valinor.

For One Year, One Day, of the Flame by @cuarthol (T, 1.7k):

Andreth prepares for the approach of midwinter, while Aegnor seeks to right a choice from long ago, before it is too late.

Sharing by Ruiniel (T, 1.4k):

The concept of ‘mind-pictures’ in The Nature of Middle-earth is interesting to explore, applied an interpretation of it to this short scene featuring Aegnor and Andreth (trying to get back into writing for Tolkien). "In any case indemmar were by Men mostly received in sleep (dream). If received when bodily awake they were usually vague and phantom-like (and often caused fear) [...]" Slightly AU take on this one.

Though We Shall Not Leave by LadyBrooke (T, 5k, character death):

Aegnor died, but that does not mean he left Andreth's side for long.

Whither you go by Ruiniel (T, 1.3k, character death):

'Whither you go may you find light. Await us there, my brother - and me.' - from Athrabeth Finrod ah Andreth, J.R.R. Tolkien Months ago, tried a short ghost story about souls meeting again in a time out of time. Featuring the saddest OTP. The AU is on me (apologies).

Who will pity the candle and the moth? by @hhimring (T, ~200 words, character death):

A very brief encounter between Andreth and Aegnor after death. Maybe Nienna had her hand in it, allowing Andreth to linger for a short while among dead Elves. Or maybe not?

worth the candle by arriviste (G, 1.2k, character death):

“I cannot linger here,” Andreth says. That is a truth she knows. This is only a doorway. “Still we might snatch a little time,” says Aegnor. - Aegnor and Andreth meet in the Halls.

[polutrope]

Throwback Thursday

Rec one of your fics written at least a week year ago and tag other writers.

Thanks for the tag @zealouswerewolfcollector!

Love the idea of this tag game but a week old fic being considered a throwback is sad to me (I usually take longer than that to get to an update and continue to hope people will get to mine long beyond a week).

ANYWAY, I got a lovely comment on A Secret Chord earlier this week. This fic is near and dear to me. The first smut I shared with the world, and an outpouring of love for my OTP, Daeron/Maglor.

Rated: E, 6.7k.

When the world goes silent, my heart breaks. In Doriath, they blamed me for their fear when the nightingales ceased their singing; when the trees no longer hummed to one another; when my pipes no longer made beauty of disorder; when my stories no longer lent meaning to their confused thoughts. True – I have a gift for music and for tales, but I am not so great as that. I am nothing without love to awaken me to Song.  Lúthien’s Song kept mine alive, but from the beginning our love was imbalanced, at times even discordant, though few would have known it to hear us together.  I would not have known it if fate had not led me to find another – he still called himself Macalaurë then – in a swirl of heady celebration, to discover in the joining of our Songs and bodies a height of ecstasy we did not know was possible. We had been accounted great among our people even before, but after that night, and the nights that followed one upon the other in a haze of desire, we were peerless.

Read the rest.

Tagging @melestasflight @cuarthol @ettelene @meadowlarkx @jouissants @imakemywings @swanmaids @swanhild @gwaedhannen @camille-lachenille @elevenelvenswords to share a "throwback", however you want to define that, if you like!

[sonics-atelier]

Just One Look

Summary : Based on this post by @rabbit-hearted-girl, Kaz Brekker braves the underworld to bring Inej back to life, but must resist looking at her to succeed. When his love compels him to turn, he nearly loses her forever, igniting his resolve to defy the gods and reclaim her.

a/n : Hello Soc fandom, its my first time writing for my otp so please let me know your thoughts! Hope you enjoy this 🫶

The air was thick with the stench of death, and the churning river Styx gurgled ominously as Kaz Brekker approached the gates of the underworld. He was battered, his clothes torn and bloodstained from the journey that had brought him here, but his dark eyes burned with a determination that nothing could extinguish. Inej was dead, taken from him in a cruel twist of fate during a perilous voyage, and Kaz would not rest until he had brought her back.

He stood before the massive iron gates, guarded by the monstrous Cerberus, the three-headed hound of Hades. Kaz’s gloved hands clenched into fists. Fear was a familiar companion, but it had no place here. Not now. He took a deep breath and stepped forward, his voice steady and commanding.

"Hades!" he called, his voice echoing through the cavernous entrance. "Lord of the Underworld, I seek an audience."

The gates creaked open with an eerie groan, and Kaz was led into the shadowy realm by a silent, hooded figure. The underworld was a place of perpetual twilight, its landscape a twisted mirror of the living world, filled with ghostly apparitions and sorrowful wails. Kaz’s heart pounded in his chest as he was brought before the throne of Hades and Persephone.

Hades, the stern and unyielding ruler of the dead, sat upon his throne, his dark eyes gleaming with an ancient wisdom. Beside him, Persephone, the radiant queen of the underworld, exuded an ethereal beauty that contrasted sharply with her grim surroundings. Kaz bowed low, his eyes never leaving theirs.

"Why do you trespass in my realm, mortal?" Hades' voice was a rumble of thunder, his gaze piercing, he and his brother had something in common after all.

Kaz straightened, his expression unyielding. "I have come to beg for the return of Inej Ghafa, taken from the world of the living before her time. I beseech you, great Hades, and you, fair Persephone, to grant her another chance at life."

Persephone’s eyes softened, but Hades remained impassive. "Many have pleaded for their loved ones, but few have succeeded. What makes you think you are different?"

Kaz reached into his coat and pulled out a small, tattered sack. "Because I am willing to do whatever it takes." He emptied the contents onto the ground—an assortment of small objects: coins, pieces of string, and a red ribbon. He began to perform, his hands moving with practiced precision as he executed a series of intricate magic tricks, each one more mesmerizing than the last.

He made coins disappear and reappear, tied and untied impossible knots, and finally, he took the red ribbon and began to weave a story, his voice low and captivating. "This ribbon," he said, "is the thread of fate that binds me to Inej. It is unbreakable, forged by the gods themselves. Our lives are intertwined, and without her, I am incomplete."

As he spoke, he manipulated the ribbon, making it dance and twist in the air, forming shapes and patterns that seemed almost magical. Persephone’s eyes glistened with tears, moved by the sincerity in Kaz’s voice and the beauty of his performance.

Hades frowned, his resolve wavering. "You speak of love, yet love is what brought you to this place of sorrow. What makes you think you can defy the fates?"

Kaz’s hands trembled slightly as he tied the final knot in the ribbon. "Because love is stronger than fate. It is the only force that can bridge the gap between life and death. Inej’s spirit calls to me, and I cannot live without her." It was the truth he had known all along but was a coward to not have uttered it sooner.

There was a moment of silence, the weight of Kaz’s words hanging in the air. Finally, Persephone turned to Hades, her voice gentle but firm. "Let him try, my love. Let him prove the strength of his bond."

Hades sighed, the shadows in his eyes deepening. "Very well. You may lead her from the underworld, but there is one condition. You must not look back at her until you have both crossed the threshold into the living world. If you do, she will be lost to you forever."

Kaz nodded, his heart pounding with a mixture of hope and fear. "I understand."

Hades waved his hand, and from the shadows, Inej emerged. She was as beautiful as Kaz remembered, her lithe form draped in a flowing gown that seemed to shimmer with an inner light. Her dark hair cascaded over her shoulders, and her eyes, deep and soulful, met Kaz’s with a look of longing and love.

Kaz’s breath caught in his throat, but he turned and began to walk, knowing that Inej was following close behind. The journey through the underworld was treacherous, the path winding and filled with obstacles. Kaz’s mind raced with memories of Inej—the way she moved with the grace of a dancer, her sharp wit and quiet strength, the warmth of her touch. He longed to look back, to see her face, to assure himself that she was really there.

But he kept his eyes forward, the weight of Hades' condition pressing down on him. They were nearing the exit now, the faint light of the living world visible in the distance. Kaz’s heart pounded, each step bringing them closer to freedom.

Finally, they reached the threshold. The cool air of the living world beckoned, and Kaz’s resolve wavered. He could hear Inej’s footsteps behind him, light and sure, but the need to see her, to confirm that she was truly there, overwhelmed him. He turned, his eyes searching for her.

In that instant, he saw her—beautiful, radiant, her hair flowing in the wind. Her eyes met his, filled with love and relief. But before she could step into the living world, her form began to disintegrate, the light fading from her eyes.

Kaz’s scream tore through the air, a sound of pure anguish and despair. He reached out, but it was too late. Inej was gone, her spirit pulled back into the depths of the underworld. He fell to his knees, his heart breaking as he watched her disappear.

The world seemed to collapse around him, the weight of his failure crushing him. He had come so close, only to lose her again because of his own weakness. He screamed and screamed until his throat was raw, until the air in his lungs gave out and he felt like he was drowning once again and inej had been the tether keeping him afloat, the thought was too much for his heart to bear.

As the darkness threatened to consume him, he forced himself to stand. He wiped the tears from his eyes, his resolve hardening. He knew that she was lovely and brave and better than anything he deserved. That he was twisted, crooked, wrong, but not so broken that he couldn't pull himself together into some semblance of a man for her. That without meaning to, he'd begun to lean on her, to look for her, to need her near.

He had lost her once, but he would not lose her again. He would wage a war worthy of the gods, if that’s what it took. He would bring her back, no matter the cost.

For he was a man of many skills, and would use every one of them to get his girl back. If she would have him, he would never let her go again. And so, at long last, Kaz Brekker was gone, and Dirtyhands had come to see the rough work done.

- @sonics-atelier 2024 ( do not repost or reuse in any way, shape or form )

Dividers by @strangergraphics 🫶

[fang-and-feather]

Ikemen Vampire - Shakespeare/Vincent/Reader - Magic AU/Magical Reader

Prompt(s): AU of your choice from Year of the OTP August by @yearoftheotpevent and Reconnection AU by @augustwritingchallenge

Summary: Meeting you again was a coincidence and Will was willing to walk away, for your sake. You and Vincen had other plans, though.

I think this is one of the polyam ships that I wrote that makes the most canonical sense...

Next Chapter / IkeVamp Masterlist / General Masterlist / AO3 Link

William Shakespeare’s love story could easily be one of his plays. At least, this last time, someone had a happy ending.

He hoped so. He wanted to believe that you and Vincent had returned to each other despite his attempts at breaking you apart.

Will told himself his actions were just for the sake of seeking inspiration. Looking back at it, he had been jealous. Of both of you. The friend he refused to acknowledge his love for was more than a platonic bond, and the woman he feared his growing feelings for, even before someone put a name to them. Jealous of the bond you shared, afraid of the feelings awakening in him, afraid to be left behind.

In the end he was left, more than a century behind. And it was for the best. For you and Vincent, who were safe and happy, and maybe for him, since the tragedy fueled his work. There were three of you. Someone would be left to suffer, no matter how the story had unfolded.

Even when his time caught up, Will didn’t plan to meet you again. Fate had other ideas, though. Will never thought he would see you by accident, in Paris of all places. What were you two doing back there? Hadn’t you gone back to your home country?

But the sight that caught his attention on the other side of that cafe’s window wasn’t a figment of his imagination, the illusion of a lonely heart’s desire.

The two of you looked so happy together as he expected, but Will couldn’t help but feel bittersweet about it. The flames of jealousy still burned in his chest at the sight of the happiness he could never have, and that was why he had to stay away.

Determined to leave before any of you noticed him, Will turned around but he hadn’t taken three steps when an energy like a whirlwind surrounded him, making him stop in his tracks. It was human magic, not strong enough to deter him, a vampire if he wanted to fight it. But it was also your magic. He would recognize that enticing signature scent anywhere, and that was what made him actually stop.

Will sighed when he heard you leave the shop, and the power surrounding him subsided. He still wanted to leave, but he couldn’t. Not in front of you.

“Why are you running away, Will?” You held his arm from behind, but he didn’t turn around.

You were speaking in a low voice, and Will noticed the attention you were getting from people walking by. Another reason to end this soon.

“After what I did to you, it is safer that our paths do not cross again. Return to his side and forget this meeting.” He gently extracted himself from your grasp, finally turning around to look at you. “Goodbye, my fair maiden. I will pray for your happiness. Although it may not be my place to, after my efforts to destroy that very happiness.” He kissed the back of your hand before attempting to let go.

But you only held his hand tighter, meeting his eyes with determination in your gaze.

“I have already forgiven you, Will. I know why you did that. In the end, having some time apart to think was the best for all of us, but it’s been too much time for you, hasn’t it?”

“You are too kind, my lady, but I don’t deserve such kindness. I cannot guarantee I won’t repeat the same mistakes. Right now I am torn between that wish for yours and Vincent’s happiness and the desire to steal one of you away.”

You only held his hand tighter and smiled, almost with a hint of laughter in it. He felt the wind around you shift, your powers wrapping, not around him, but an area around the two of you, right when Vincent stepped out to join you. The passersby also stopped paying attention to you. Were you hiding them? Why?

Vincent approached with his usual angelic smile, and standing by your side he took both yours and Will’s free hands.

“Why do you have to steal only one of us? We missed you. We came back to Paris to see you, and we were just talking about how we’d like to steal you ourselves when we met. Can we?”

“Vincent… You know a friendly reunion is not what I meant. I…”

“That’s not what we meant, either, Will.” You chuckled, oddly amused by such a serious situation. “We love you. Both of us. And we would like you to be our partner, if you want.”

Both of them? There was nothing that would make Will happier but…

“How can that be? Love shared by three people can end in nothing but tragedy.”

“Why? We love each other, and as long as we’re willing to make it work, why can’t we all be together?”

Seeming to notice Will was still trying to process what they were saying, Vincent took over before you said anything else.

“It is a lot to explain. I was confused when she told me, too. Would you at least listen to what we have to say, Will? If you still want us to go away afterwards, we will, but would you at least listen and think about it, please?”

You and Vincent looked at him with such hopeful eyes, Will found it hard to say no. But would he dare hope? Would he dare attempt to love someone again, especially when your idea of it sounded so unbelievable?

But the thought of returning to the life he’d been leading since losing you and one more look at these pleading eyes of the people he loved and Will knew his answer.

“Do you really want to risk spending time with me, no matter what my answer may be?” He still asked, hesitantly.

Both of you nodded without even taking the time to think. That was the final push he needed.

“Then I will listen.”

There is a possibility of this fic's rating going up in later chapters but it wasn't decided yet

Next Chapter / IkeVamp Masterlist / General Masterlist

[illumiera]

thinking about Miraak in Apocrypha, realising after a while—weeks? months? years, maybe?—that Mora's promises were lies and that he was never going to set him free. thinking of how Mora intentionally undid the healing he'd performed on the wounds Miraak had sustained in his battle with Vahlok, how he would only agree to save him in return for some of Miraak's memories—trivial things, things you'll never miss.

thinking of how Mora never had any intention of taking just "trivial things", but in actuality, took everything besides the harshest memories of the dragons, the cult, Miraak's own cruelty. thinking of how he took his new champion's memories of his Atmoran homeland, his memories of Nirn as a whole, his memories of the mysterious horned-and-winged woman he'd loved in his dreams, his memories of his own face and the name he'd had before he was Miraak.

thinking of how Miraak was a worshipper of Kyne and Dibella, left without even the vaguest impression of how wind felt between his fingers, how soft grass and snow were beneath his feet, how many colours there were in a sunset. thinking of how he had no idea that he'd worshipped his most beloved gods at all.

thinking of how he was put in a situation where his only choices were, effectively, two different kinds of deaths.

thinking of Elentari, horned and winged in Dragon Aspect, and how her last-ditch attempt to stop their fight ended with her using Bend Will to literally will his memories back to him.

thinking of how, ultimately, she resurrected him twice, first in mind and then in body and soul.

[sycamorre]

Can I please get the whole girl gang with Ori, Mela, Vaela, and Riven!

[send me a character]

Oh boy you're making me do my homework over here!

Oriana —

Favorite thing about them: I'm going to be incredibly non-specific and say that her growth as a character was my favorite part of playing her. She started out as this uptight, dutiful monk who was scared to show her own face too much for fear of making people mildly uncomfortable (and honestly to avoid invasive questions) to someone who was finally getting comfortable with who they were was such a blast. I love her newly-acquired confidence and the dynamic it brings to her post-campaign. She's far from perfect, and never will be, but she's maturing and making a new purpose for herself other than being someone's errand girl.

Least favorite thing about them: She is the worst pessimist in the world and sometimes her logic is so quick to jump to the worst conclusions that she literally puts her foot in her mouth. And it hurts for me to write that every single time due to secondhand embarrassment but I have to commit.

Favorite line: "She loved you! She still loves you!" at the Prince during the final fight while she's trying to distract him (or something like that). Or Ori's first jab at Damak "Maybe you would see more of it if you stepped out of the shadows" since it still makes me chuckle.

brOTP: Even though the Ori/Damak ship didn't sail, I still think they probably stay pretty close and end up working together on jobs in the future. They absolutely still push each other's buttons, but that's just how they are and they don't question it.

OTP: I am so mad at myself retroactively for not giving into the OriRanna feels by the conclusion of the campaign but I do not regret bringing it up afterwards and getting to enjoy it now at least.

nOTP: Ori and Cobalt are forever divorced and they barely know each other, this is just canon.

Random Headcanon: Ori has a hard time accepting the fact that Sharaea is basically keeping her distance after the Prince's defeat. In part because she does feel that connection still and worries that Sharaea is hurting, and partially because it is such a strange sensation to her to be without the dreams for so long after such a major revelation. It takes her a long time to get used to it, but she still wishes that there was more she could do.

Unpopular Opinion: I don't know if it's an unpopular opinion among our little group, but I never had intentions of making Oriana some kind of fated hero. I never had thoughts of making her tied to a major NPC or giving her any kind of serious destiny, I just wanted to play a radiant energy bomb with the aasimar/monk combo because I thought it would be funny once I pitched the idea to Sam and he told me about Damak who was basically her foil. But I do adore how her story developed and how well it ended up narratively.

Song I associate with them: So many... "Like the Dawn" by The Oh Hellos, "Warrior" by AURORA, and "Drumming Song" by Florence + The Machine to name a few.

Favorite picture of them: I like a lot but honestly one of my favs is the one I made of Chibs trying to hit on her, partly because it's Chibs and partly because I did really like how Ori's outfit came out in this one.

Mela —

Favorite thing about them: Literally the most wholesome member of the group. Not a bad bone or crystal in her body. I am so sorry for all that we put her though.

Least favorite thing about them: Only that I didn't get enough time to learn more about her and her backstory. Sigh.

Favorite line: "Real neighbors. Real family. Not just people that make you feel like you can pretend it doesn't exist."

brOTP: Mela and Halion. Druid buddies that deserve the world.

OTP: Mela is an independent Genasi who don't need no one... though I could be swayed about a certain fae...

nOTP: Literally anyone who would try to be mean to her in a relationship will meet a swift end by my hand.

Random Headcanon: 100% think that Mela's magic is flavored to look like the crystals on her body. If she wildshapes and doesn't specifically want to look a certain way, the animal she changes into will have things like crystal horns/claws, the flame sword she summons has the appearance of a crystal blade, etc.

Unpopular Opinion: I do wish she had gotten a chance to use wild shape more. I think Mela being a cute little critter sneaking around would have been amazing.

Song I associate with them: "Come Out and Play" by Billie Eilish

Favorite picture of them: That dang sketch I never colored, rip

Vaela —

Favorite thing about them: Drinking game QUEEN. Also just the fact that she doesn't take any shit while still having a lot of heart and empathy to those who earn it. Something about that balance between the two just made her all the more lovable.

Least favorite thing about them: she can out-drink my high constituion monk I do think I missed out on really getting to know her during the campaign, and I regret that a lot.

Favorite line: Not a specific line but I think back to Vaela's talks with Erosen when he was ready and willing to be her stand-in dad before Vaela was ready to reach back out to her family and i can't help but smile.

brOTP: Vaela, Riven, and Mela is the real brot3 and nothing can change my mine

OTP: I mean... I definitely have a certain paladin that turns a lovely shade of pink when someone talks about her because she sure is pretty and really cool to boot~

nOTP: Zaresh and his memory is not allowed to ever hurt Vaela again. If Damak didn't do it, Ori would have definitely put him out of his misery.

Random Headcanon: Very little thing, but I could see her gathering small, light trinkets that remind her of her friends and tie them to her bow, possibly for good luck, and possibly as a way to to tell which direction the wind is blowing when she's aiming.

Unpopular Opinion: I still think it would have been cool for her to pull an Erosen and punch Zaresh in the face. Just once.

Song I associate with them: "Dear Fellow Traveler" by Sea Wolf

Favorite picture of them: So fun fact: I never finished them but I started making emojis of the party members for kicks and here's the one I started of Vaela:

Riven —

Favorite thing about them: Riven's sassiness and perfect comedic timing always leaves me in stitches. She really felt like the heart of the party in that way.

Least favorite thing about them: This is the hardest thing and most of my "least favorite" things are mostly the things Oriana keeps fretting about when she thinks about Riven being in such a high position so I'm gonna go with not much at this time to be honest.

Favorite line: Not a line again, but specifically the scene between Ori and Riven where Riv dressed her up while Ori reassured her that she didn't think any less of Riven after they all found out about her half-drow heritage. That always felt like a major point in their friendship and I hold onto it fondly.

brOTP: I wanna say Riven and Halion just because I think their friendship was so neat, and it hurts a bit when I think about their falling out post-campaign. But there's also Riv and Damak's sibling-ish dynamic that I love a lot, too.

OTP: As much as he pushes Ori's nerves, I do think Riv and Delethil are on the same wavelength as each other and fit very well together, even with Eravin in the mix.

nOTP: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Random Headcanon: On the occasions where Oriana comes up to Aerenth on business (either with Ranna for her research or at the request of various Tyados officials who think she's got some kind of in with them because she's friends with Riven), Ori always makes a point to find Riven and any of the other girls that might be there with them after all the formalities are done and run off into the woods to find a clearing to just hang out in like they did before.

Unpopular Opinion: As much as I understand the reason why she and Del made the choice to execute Vasion, I still disagree that it was the best decision.

Song I associate with them: "Savage Daughter" by Sarah Hester mostly because of the rebellious vibes

Favorite picture of them: I mean... I think it's obvious (also bonus Vaela).

[giggly-squiggily]

I binge read all of hell's paradise yesterday and it is now a new favorite. You think you could write something for Yuzugiri? Only if and when you feel like it of course. Headcanons are okay too.

*sobs* MY OTP!!! I adore these girlies so, so much! Thank you for giving me the chance to write for them, anon! I've gotcha covered!

Sagiri was a picture of calm as she meditated.

Her breathing slow and easily paced, her face smoothed free of emotion. She was still as a statue, so much so Yuzuriha was sure not even a typhoon could shake her. Dressed comfortably in a flowery yukata  with her hair in a loose but neat bun, she was the perfect balance of relaxed yet composed.

Yuzuriha could stare at her for hours like this, alas, she rather liked seeing her girlfriend smiling more.

Creeping up slowly, she put her years of training to use as she silenced her footsteps, falling to her hands and knees when she was close enough. Forcing her lips into a flat smile, she leaned in so she was inches away from her girlfriend, eyes on the exposed skin of her neck.

Once there, she let out one long puff.

“EEK!” Sagiri let out a loud squeak, shoulders shooting up to guard her neck. Twisting around, her eyes widened upon seeing the playful kunoichi behind her. “Yuzu-AH!”

Another squeak when she was suddenly pulled backwards, Yuzuriha’s arms around her waist and face against her neck, kissing and nuzzling with all her might. “Yhuuhuhuhuhzurihiihihiha!”

“Yeees~” The other cooed against her neck, fingers pressing into the fabric of Sagiri’s yukata, wiggling into her sides. With her Asaemon outfit, it was difficult to reach there with how thick the belt was. This casual outfit proved much easier to push through. “What is it, Sagirin?”

“Sthahahahhaap! Aheahhahahaha! Ihihihihim trihhihihihying to meheheehheheditahahahaha-EhEHEHHEEHEH!” Sagiri let out a squeal when Yuzuriha blew a raspberry against her pulse point, pressing her fingers into the spaces between her ribs at the same time. “DOOHOOHOHN’T!”

“Don’t what? I can’t understand what you're saying, honey. You’re gonna have to speak clearer.” Yuzuriha leaned up to kiss her cheek before going back to her neck, giggling against her skin. “Do you want me to keep kissing you here?” She pressed one against the side of her neck. “Or here?” She went up against her jawline. “Or how about here?” He nuzzled the back of her ear, all actions producing a series of squeals and giggles from the usually stoic swordswoman. “All of them? Oh, Sagirin, you are so cuddly today!”

“Ahehehehahhahha! Y-Yuhuhuhuhuzuuhuhuhu!” Sagiri tried to break free, pulling at her girlfriend’s hands in vain. Whether the tickling zapped her strength or she really didn’t mind, she had no idea. She tried doubling over to block the attack on her belly, but that only sealed her fate for the upcoming attack.

“Oh ho- I know where you’d want kisses!” Yuzuriha cooed, something dangerous in her voice as she leaned back. “Right….about…here!” She then began nuzzling her shoulder blades, dead center.

Sagiri was an Asaemon- a swordswoman skilled in execution. She faced many sights in her training- horrid criminals to less than pleasing executions. She was trained to never scream, to never show fear in the face of such horrors.

All that training went out the window as an honest to god screech escaped her lips, muffled only as she crashed into her mat. “YUHUUHUHUZRIIHIHIHIHAHHAHAHAHA!”

“Ooo, what a pretty scream! Let’s hear it again!” Yuzuhira cackled, delighted by the reaction. Replacing her face with her hands, she laid against her girlfriend’s back, tracing and scribbling into her shoulder blades easily shifting to match the squirms and writhes Sagiri made beneath her. Sweet bubbly laughter escaped her lips, her face half hidden by her hair as it fell loose from its bun. Yuzuriha reached out and pulled it away, swooning at the breathtaking smile on her girlfriend’s face.

“So pretty. I could look at you for hours.” She sighed. It was like she was admiring a well constructed oil painting instead of tickling her girlfriend to pieces. “How did I get so lucky to have someone so amazing in my life.”

“AHEHEHHEHEHEEHEHE!” Sagiri couldn’t even respond, too caught up in her laughter to do so. With some effort, she managed to twist around, grabbing Yuzuriha and pulling her beside her. With even more effort, she was on top, pinning her shoulders as she caught her breath. “Thehehere! There!” She huffed, satisfied.

Yuzuriha blinked up at her, momentarily dazed. Then she smiled, stretching out like a cat and playing with a loose strand of silky brown hair. “There indeed. I rather like this view- you on top of me, flushed and pretty.”

Sagiri blinked, then she went bright red and staggered off, falling to her side against the mats. “Oh, you are terrible!” She huffed, earning a cackle from the other. Yuzuriha opened an arm invitingly, waggling her brows. “No tricks?”

“Not this time, honey.” Yuzuriha smiled, gesturing her over. Sagiri rolled her eyes before scooting over, resting her head against her chest as Yuzuriha stroked her hair. “That was rather unnecessary, don’t you think?”

“What, me tickling you? Nah, that’s very necessary.” Yuzuriha leaned down to kiss her crown, smoothing her hand down her back in an easy gesture. “You work too hard, even when you’re supposed to be relaxing.”

“I was relaxing.”

“Babe, you're a swordswoman. Practicing your breathing is not relaxing.” Yuzuriha snuggled her closer, closing her eyes. “This. This is relaxing. Nice, huh?”

When she didn’t get an answer, she peeked, finding Sagiri sleeping against her. 

“Told ya.” She smiled, kissing her forehead again.

Thanks for reading!

[princesssarisa]

Character ask: Orpheus and Eurydice

This is a good ask for me! My college senior thesis was a comparison of Monteverdi and Gluck's operas based on the Orpheus myth!

Don't expect any comments on Hadestown here, though – I'm not familiar with that musical at all.

Orpheus

Favorite thing about them: His love for Eurydice. A love so strong that he's willing to journey to the Underworld to bring her back, and almost succeeds, except for his act of "too much love" when he looks back at her. The fantasy of being loved that way is hard to resist!

Least favorite thing about them: His misogyny after coming back from the Underworld in some versions of the myth. I don't mind versions where he just avoids women out of faithfulness to Eurydice's memory, but it's all too common to portray him as coming to hate women, either because they all seem so inferior to Eurydice, or because they remind him too much of her, or because he blames Eurydice's feminine charms for causing his misery. And Ovid's claim that in his rejection of women, he became the first man ever to sleep with young boys? Ugh. Just ugh.

Three things I have in common with them:

*I adore music.

*I'm very loving and passionate.

*I can be impulsive.

Three things I don't have in common with them:

*I'm not semi-divine.

*I'm not married.

*I'm female.

Favorite line: His song in Ovid's version of the myth, where he pleads with Hades and Persephone:

"O gods of this world, placed below the earth, to which, all, who are created mortal, descend; if you allow me, and it is lawful, to set aside the fictions of idle tongues, and speak the truth, I have not come here to see dark Tartarus, nor to bind Cerberus, Medusa's child, with his three necks, and snaky hair. My wife is the cause of my journey. A viper, she trod on, diffused its venom into her body, and robbed her of her best years. I longed to be able to accept it, and I do not say I have not tried: Love won. He is a god well known in the world above... I beg you, by these fearful places, by this immense abyss, and the silence of your vast realms, reverse Eurydice’s swift death. All things are destined to be yours, and though we delay a while, sooner or later, we hasten home. Here we are all bound, this is our final abode, and you hold the longest reign over the human race. Eurydice, too, will be yours to command, when she has lived out her fair span of years, to maturity. I ask this benefit as a gift; but, if the fates refuse my wife this kindness, I am determined not to return: you can delight in both our deaths."

brOTP: The shepherds and nymphs who join him in celebrating his marriage and in mourning Eurydice's death in the opera adaptations.

OTP: Eurydice.

nOTP: Hades, Persephone, his mother Calliope, or any of the Maenad women who tore him limb-from-limb.

Random headcanon: His father was the Thracian king Oeagrus. Or to be exact, I prefer the version of the myth where Oeagrus is his father to the version where Apollo is his father. It's generally agreed that his mother is the muse Calliope. So if his parents are a god and goddess, why is he a mortal? Doesn't it stand to reason that he should have one mortal parent?

Unpopular opinion: I get slightly tired of seeing people quote Portrait of a Lady on Fire to explain why he looks back at Eurydice, claiming that he makes "the poet's choice" (i.e. that he chooses his idealized memory of Eurydice, which he can fully possess and which can inspire his art forever, rather than face an uncertain future with a living woman). That's a fascinating interpretation of his backward glance, but it's not the "true" meaning of the myth. There is no single "true" meaning. Different retellings have interpreted his backward glance as excessive passion and a lack of self-control, or as a fatal lack of faith in either Hades, Eurydice, or himself, or as an act of concern for Eurydice which shows that Hades' command was inhumane, or as a commentary on the nature of grief (i.e. that we can't help but look back at our memories), or simply as inevitable because death can't be reversed. All of those interpretations, and others too, are just as valid as "the poet's choice." That's part of the beauty of mythology: it has so many possible meanings.

Song I associate with them:

"Vi ricorda, o bosch'ombrosi" from Monteverdi's opera L'Orfeo.

"Possente spirito," also from Monteverdi's opera.

"Chiamo il mio ben cosí" from Gluck's Orfeo ed Euridice.

"Che farò senza Euridice?" from Gluck's opera.

Favorite picture of them:

Orpheus' Sorrow by Pascal Dagnan-Bouveret:

Orpheus' Lament by Alexandre Séon:

And this illustration from D'Aulaires' Book of Greek Myths:

For other pictures that show him with Eurydice, see below.

Eurydice

Favorite thing about them: A woman who inspires a love that almost conquers death itself is a fascinating character, and I enjoy seeing the different ways she's characterized in different retellings of the myth and other works inspired by it. When the same mythical figure loosely inspires such different characters as innocent, girlish Pamina in The Magic Flute and seductive, jaded Satine in Moulin Rouge!, then you know (a) that she's not the most fleshed-out character, but (b) that her very "flatness" makes her a wellspring of creative ideas for authors and artists who retell the story.

Least favorite thing about them: She's not very likable in Gluck's opera Orfeo ed Euridice, where she doesn't know that Orpheus can't look back at her, assumes he must not love her anymore, and hounds him into finally looking back. I'm glad that only happens in one adaptation and she isn't always like that.

Three things I have in common with them:

*I'm loving and affectionate.

*I find good singers very attractive.

*I enjoy walking in nature (preferably with no snakes in the grass).

Three things I don't have in common with them:

*I'm not married.

*I'm not as captivatingly beautiful as she's traditionally portrayed.

*I'm still alive.

Favorite line: Her lament in Virgil's version of the myth as she drifts back into the Underworld.

"Orpheus, what madness has destroyed my wretched self, and you? See, the cruel Fates recall me, and sleep hides my swimming eyes. Farewell, now: I am taken, wrapped round by vast night, stretching out to you, alas, hands no longer yours."

brOTP: Her nymph companions, such as Daphne in Peri's opera adaptation or Sylvia in Monteverdi's.

OTP: Orpheus.

nOTP: Aristaeus, who tries to rape her in Virgil's version of the myth, leading to her death as she steps on a snake while running from him.

Random headcanon: When Orpheus was killed and his spirit went to the Elysian Fields, the judges in the Underworld debated whether Eurydice should join him there or stay in the Asphodel Meadows with the other ordinary, non-heroic souls. Ultimately, they chose to send her to Elysium, both because it would have been too cruel to Orpheus not to reunite them, and because after Eurydice's second chance to live was snatched away from her, she deserved to at least spend her afterlife in paradise.

Unpopular opinion: I'd like to see at least one retelling of the myth that portrays the legendary philosopher-poet Musaeus of Athens as Orpheus's son (as one Greek historian claimed he was, though others disagreed), and portrayed Eurydice as his mother. Giving them a child could add even more weight to the tragedy.

Song I associate with them:

"Cet asil aimable et tranquille," from Orphée et Eurydice, the expanded French version of Gluck's opera.

"Che fiero momento," also from Gluck's opera.

Favorite picture of them:

This painting by Louis Ducis:

This print by Rebecca Guay:

This painting by Ary Scheffer, Orpheus Mourning the Death of Eurydice:

This print of the same sad moment by Justin and/or Annie Gerard:

This painting by Jean-Baptiste Camille Corot:

This painting by Sir Edward Poynter:

This painting by Frederic Leighton, inspired by Gluck's opera:

This painting by Carl Goos:

This painting by Christian Gottlieb Kratzenstein:

This painting by Michel Martin Drolling (a rare one that shows Hermes whisking Eurydice back into the Underworld rather than just having her drift back by herself):

This painting by George Frederic Watts (one of many):

[twinclownsoflotuspiers]

Fic author interview!

Thamks @galexibrain

Anyone who wants to do this can!

How many works do you have on Ao3?

Currently 70

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

557,317

3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

We Call This Fate (MDZS) [JC/WWX] - 546 kudos

2. Smile, And You're Much Cuter! (MDZS) [JC/WWX] - 445 kudos (idek why people like this so much -_- it's a fic i wrote i like the least)

3. Red (MDZS) [JC/WWX. companion work to Fate] - 389 kudos

4. and there is one price i'd cheat to win (MDZS) [JC/WWX] - 355 kudos

5. My Love Grows Gardens And Flower Crowns (MDZS) [JC/LXC] - 341 kudos (relic from my past lel)

4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do as much as I can! I take a while to reply though because sometimes I'm either not in the right brainspace or the comments have piled up, making me overwhelmed.

5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Probably the Jiang Cheng centric angst fic "Indecision". I rarely write unhappy endings even though I write a lot of angst. But this one's ending has absolutely no closure lol.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

Most of my fics have a happy or hopeful ending but I guess if we go by pure fluff and everything nice with not a single shred of angst potential then Experiences [Nu: Carnival - Eiden/Edmond], aforementioned My Love Grows Gardens and Flower Crowns and finally Simple Complexities [MDZS - JC/WWX]

7. Do you write crossovers?

I wrote one series for a TGCF/MDZS crossover because I wanted Shi Qingxuan and Jiang Cheng to meet.

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Outright hate, no. Weirdly worded borderline rude "constructive criticisms" and backhanded "compliments" a number of times.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I write smut! As for "what kind" uhm...mostly vanilla-ish? But with some amount of dubcon though. I think my xiancheng fic "Etched" is the only one in BDSM adjacent territory and a fair amount of questionableness.

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of.

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! For this fic inspired off of Alfred Lord Tennyson's poem. Pairing is JC/LXC.

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Strangely enough, no.

13. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

Uhh OTP of all times is probably XianCheng by now? I always love a ship I've once loved though so all my old OTPs are honestly all-time favorites too. Some old ships in question that I still love a lot are IchiRuki (Bleach) and NezuShi (No. 6)

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Hmm.... my longest standing WIP is the BaekChen RPF "Shall We, My Dear" which I fear may not ever be updated. But I do still wanna finish it though...

15. What are your writing strengths?

ANGST, psychological whump, some more angst.

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

Not being able to control my wordcount and not having a consistent writing schedule lol.

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I'd get too insecure to do full dialogues but a few short ones here and there should be within my abilities.

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

WAAAYYY back I wrote a fic on a random notepad for Nintama Rantaro when I was like 10 or something lolll. Of course I wasn't in fandoms or anything at all back then. For a "fandom" my first posted fic was a Naruto one, Gaara centric because I didn't care (mostly) for anyone else xD.

19. What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?

Several actually. ZhouDu from Priest's Mo Du, NezuShi (and so what if No.6 is old?), some kinda self-indulgent genshin rarepairs I wanna try very specific ideas on [few eg: KaeRosaLuc, VenLuc, EuLuc] and YuuMika from Owari no Seraph because I'd recently begun rereading the manga and Mika is once again blorbo.

20. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written

Simple Complexities hands down. It's not my most popular but I think I hold this fic really dear because I did a great job. From my old EXO RPF fandom, the Noragami AU ChanSoo fic; even though my writing has improved loads from then, I'm still plenty proud of this one. And finally, while We Call This Fate is not my "favorite" but I worked the hardest for this so it has a lot of my love and blood, sweat and tears.

[theunchainedmelody]

"I Shouldn't Love You" A TDP Sorayllum fanfic

Note: Why make this fic? Because Rayla has two hands B) Also, I just love Rayllum (my OTP) but I'm also drawn to Sorayla (especially after Season 4) so why not combine them? Let the poor traumatized elf assassin have two boyfriends. Problem solved.

The escape from Umber Tor was long behind the heroes of Xadia. Another week had passed the dragang by, leaving Callum scrambling with an array of plans and missions that were yet to be accomplished. One was coordinating a hunting expedition with the Dragon Queen to hunt down Claudia and her troupe. Another was delving into research for a way to free the Moonshadow elves sealed agonizingly into coins, a dark fate inflicted on them by Lord Viren years prior. The idea of them remaining inside those miniature prisons a moment longer was enough to keep the high mage awake at night, and he feared it was doing the same to Rayla. Three parents could be returned to her if he was skilled enough, if he was powerful enough. He ran a hand through his well-styled brown hair, shutting his jade eyes for a moment. The High Mage let out a deep sigh, trying to clear a mess of scattered thoughts. A small groan alerted him that a certain someone wanted attention. Callum’s hand went down to comb over the top of Bait’s head, offering the glow toad an affectionate smile. The yellow critter gave a low growl of approval.

Rayla silently peered at Callum from across the room, soaking in the sight of him. He was so focused right now, so responsible. In many ways, he was entirely different from the fledgling mage she’d befriended years before. In other ways, such as his overly-excited way of speaking, Callum, fortunately, remained very much the same. Just looking at him brought on fond feelings that had not extinguished over the years. In Rayla’s mind, Callum and she were destined to be together, a two-year separation be damned.

It was the chattering of her baby cuddle monkey that alerted her ex-boyfriend to her presence. Stella was affectionately nuzzling at Rayla’s fingers, a gesture her elven mother encouraged by rubbing the monkey’s nose with her thumb. Stella shut her eyes happily from the mutual affection. Rayla’s violet eyes now fell upon Callum, who had gone stiff the moment he detected the elf's presence. It hurt to see. It hurt to see Callum retreat further and further away from her. He had begun to reciprocate her affections back at Umber Tor but since then, he’d been actively avoiding her.

Rayla broke the silence, asking, “Are you getting enough sleep?”

“Yep. Yep,” said the high mage with a sigh as he turned to face her, “Is there something I can help you with?”

Well, the man wasn't facing her exactly. While Callum was polite enough to not offer the elf his back, his eyes repeatedly glanced away. Rayla’s eyebrows rose, so pained that he wouldn’t look her in the eyes. And yet she couldn’t help but admire him. Callum had grown so handsome in the last few years. Tall and slim with a sharp jawline and the prettiest green eyes of any guy she knew. It took all her self-control to keep from kissing him, to not jump his bones right then and there.

She answered, “I was just checking up on you. You’ve been locked in here so often… I miss you, Callum.”

Callum’s eyes shifted darkly, and Rayla knew she had said the wrong thing.

“Well, you have a funny way of showing it sometimes."

Rayla squirmed at his words, trying desperately not to fight with her ex-boyfriend. It was instinctual for her to throw back sass or a mocking jab, but right now her fiery temper was dampened.

Callum sighed and continued, “Alright, I think I’d like some peace and quiet. I have more volumes to scour.”

“I appreciate what you’re doing,” said the Moonshadow elf, “Really. What you are putting yourself through to get Runaan and my parents out of there. I know you must not want to see Runaan but-I’m grateful.”

Stella chittered a bit before nodding her head and beaming just the same as her Cuddle Mama.

Callum’s voice softened and he said, “I’ll get them out, Rayla.”

There was a moment their eyes finally met and Rayla’s heart nearly shattered. She needed him to look at her again, to look at her with affection. The feeling of being without him left her desperate and empty, and for a moment, she wondered how she had managed the years without him. How stupid she'd been to lose him.

“But…will you be okay?” asked the Moonshadow elf.

“What does it matter? I’m doing my duties, my... high mage duties.”

“I know… I know you're working hard. And I know you don’t think I care but I do. Callum… I still love you. I promised to carry that love over the years. I thought… you would too.”

Callum’s green eyes flashed in anger and he snapped, “Love? You want to talk about love? I did love you, Rayla. I spent the last two years scared and hurt and…”

He paused for a moment before belting out, “You haven’t even apologized! So how can I just pretend nothing happened?”

“I hurt you. I didn’t mean to, but I did. I’m sorry. So so sorry. I just… If I had stayed… I would have… I can’t forget how I was with you back then. I was angry and I took it out on you. I was obsessed and desperate and I would have gotten worse. I had to leave to cool my mind, to find myself, and Callum, I’ll never leave again… if you’ll take me back.”

“I’m glad you’re back,” he said lovingly, his hand recoiling just as it went for her shoulder. 

Callum sighed and continued, “But that doesn’t magically make all that pain go away. You broke my heart, Rayla, and you seem just fine. I don’t think I’m ready... I don’t know if I ever will be.”

Rayla’s eyes flashed open in pain. Was he…

“C-Callum?”

His eyes wouldn’t meet hers. His lips remained sealed tight, every moment of silence sending his girlfriend into a panic.

“Please don’t do this… I can do better. Please, I need you.”

“Rayla… I don’t want you to leave but… I can’t be with you. I’m sorry.”

“Oh...” she said as her lips tightened, holding back tears, “I understand. This is my fault.”

She gulped before confessing, “I don’t deserve your love. I never did.”

Rayla covered her mouth as she raced out of the room. Callum suddenly felt his heart stop. It was the tears that had reached him. Being mad at Rayla was one thing, but hurting her was something he never hoped to do. Suddenly, all the anger and all the bitterness that had been confining him to an empty prison broke loose in a dam and out sprang a desperation, something raw and deep that came from a fourteen -year-old Callum that had jumped off a cliff to save her. And now he reached out for her and cried out.

“Wait-Rayla!”

The High Mage ran down the hall as fast as his lithe legs would take him, but it was to no avail. The Moonshadow elf was gone. If he had to guess, Rayla had slipped out of one of the many windows. Callum prepared the words needed to summon his mage wings, to chase after her and yet… It occurred to him he had no idea what to say. He didn’t wish for the elf to go but if she stayed, what would he say if he couldn’t forgive her?

Callum grit his teeth as his own tears came out. His fists tightened painfully before he collapsed onto his knees.

_____________________________________________

One month later…

The search for Claudia had come up empty, yet there was no sign of the Startouch elf’s return. For an elf as powerful as Aaravos, surely his echoes should have been felt throughout Xadia? He had not been as subtle as his old ways when Zubeia dared to speak to him. And so, the Katolis forces were left confused, finding a lull in the eye of the storm. As for the High Mage, he had failed to find a way to release Rayla’s family from the coins. And so, amidst his obsession, he locked himself away in his study, deep in books and knowingly only faint candlelight. It was in those days, he became so consumed by his work that King Ezran found the throne room surprisingly quiet. His brother was deep in machinations, the Moonshadow elf was off doing work for Zubeia, and Soren was leading in coordinated searches with the other human kingdoms. However, all that was about to change for  the Crown Guard’s captain was finally due to return.

And he wasn't the only one.

_____________________________________________

Rayla had arrived just a day before the news of Soren's return reached Katolis.

Now, on an especially warm sunrise, Rayla, Ezran, Corvus, and Callum were all gathered together to meet the head of the Crown Guard. Ezran's eyes lit up as he watched his most trusted bodyguard flying in on the back of the crimson Pyrrah. Her talons set wide and dug into the soil as she came to an earth-shattering halt. Soren didn't waste a moment in dismounting. He gave the dragon a thumbs up and then turned his attention towards the welcoming party. He strode forward with his arrogant gait, adorned in his black and white raiment and his luscious blonde locks. As she watched him passively, the Moonshadow assassin found her eyes darting to Soren more than she would have liked. In truth, Rayla wasn’t blind to the fact that Soren had grown even more handsome since she last saw him at the Nexus. Taller too. It was funny to think that once she despised him. But ever since Soren stood up to his father so many years ago, she’d seen her rival in a new light. Even so, what truly grabbed her was just how happy she was to see him. Soren was a lot like Callum now, a bright light luring her in from the edges of her two year exile, two years draped in darkness, trials, and misery. And yet, here Soren was, returning to Katolis with a grin on his face and two arrogant hands on his hips. Still a dumb lump.

Callum smiled brightly at his friend and said, “It’s good to have you back, Soren.”

Soren stepped up briskly in front of the High Mage and Callum blinked in confusion as the knight’s arms started to curl around him

“Uh… Soren, what are you-"

Immediately, he got his answer as Soren’s arms tightened around his back and the young man was lifted off his feet.

“Wha-Okay. We’re doing this again,” was what the high mage uttered in acceptance as he was swooped into a bear hug.

Rayla giggled. She’d missed her boys the last two years. Azymondius, the wee dragon, was large enough to ride. Ezran had grown upwards like the shoot of a seedling, now so tall that it blew her mind. And Callum was… everything she’d hoped. He’d grown strong in her absence too.

Ezran said, “Welcome back. You get any rest over there?”

“Rest? Nah. I’m-I’m full of energy. You just got to get out there and do something.”

As Soren threw a comedic punch into the air, Rayla’s heart nearly stopped. She could tell he was putting on a strong front. Really, it was so obvious with how he bragged and shewed away anyone's doubts as to his mental health. And then it all returned to her. Her guilt. She had aimed a blade at Soren just for trying to give her relationship advice. She’d ditched him in the wilds when he pleaded to her to rescue a drake from a cruel muscley type. Soren’s disappearance after that had the surprising affect of sending Rayla into a spiral of fear, so afraid it was her fault and so afraid the last thing he’d know was her negligence. And when she found him at last beside Rex Igneous, the blond knight had seemed like the most beautiful thing she’d ever seen. But much like with Callum, Rayla hadn’t seen much of Soren since that day.

“Um… Hey” said Rayla in a warm but anxious tone, her hands politely tucked together at her waist.

Enough with the “hey!”, Rayla!

She chided herself before trying to regain her dignity. That response had not gone over well with her estranged ex-boyfriend, so why was she resorting to it a second time?

Soren blinked at her with silvery eyes, almost seeming apprehensive, before offering her that stupid cheeky smile of his and opening his arms wide. Oh no. Did he want a hug from her? Rayla froze in her boots. There was no way she could hug him so unprompted. What had come over her anyway? Why couldn’t she hug him? Why had she recoiled back then when he put a hand on her shoulder. It was all platonic, wasn’t it?

“Rayla , my man. My wo-man. Haha!”

“Hey Soren…” she said a bit flustered.

Callum rose an eyebrow at how she shrunk away from the hug, and he and Stella shared a look of bewilderment. As for Soren, he waited for a good ten seconds for the elf to return his hug, an eternity for Rayla who simply smiled at him awkwardly. At last, Soren slumped down to normal in disappointment, and then walked past her. Rayla instantly felt a pang of regret. Soren must have thought she hated him given so much of their past consisted of duels, her giving him sass, and cold shoulders. But that wasn’t true, not to her. If there was one bit of relief, it was when she saw how Soren perked up again as he sauntered on past, his hand lazily pressed down on his sword. And not a moment later, he had Corvus pulled into a deep embrace. At this rate, the elf would be forgotten.

Rayla eyed him with purple irises under concerned brows. The Moonshadow elf needed to apologize, and a talk between them was more than two years overdue.

_____________________________________________

Soren and Callum were standing amid Viren’s library, a title they had both silently agreed to retire after the events of the Storm Spire. The twenty-year-old leaned up lazily against one of the few clear walls not home to a bookshelf. His eyes wandered inquisitively over the state of the high mage’s room. Books were overturned and not returned to their proper shelves. There were empty goblets on the ground, crumpled up balls of parchment, and spilled ink staining the desk.

“No luck finding a way to get those elves out, buddy?” asked Soren, taking on a more grave voice.

“Sadly no… Listen, Soren I need to tell you something and you aren’t gonna like it.”

“Okay. I’m listening”

“Things aren't working. I… I might have to start considering dark magic,” said Callum wearily, bagged eyes falling low.

“Oh…”

“Rayla wouldn’t approve. And I know you don’t. And neither do I. I wanted it banned from Katolis but… Soren, every day they are in there, they're suffering. And Rayla’s suffering. But if I do it… Aaravos, does he win? Am I one step closer to being some pawn in his stupid game?”

Soren said, “Hmm. That’s quite the dilemma. My father’s kind of magic… I’m not a fan. I saw what it did to him. To Claudia. To that prince Kasef. And… I don’t want it taking you.”

Callum crossed his arms defensively at the response, but his eyes seemed in agreement with Soren’s sentiment.

The knight continued, “But if you do go through with it, we’ll support you. And this blue guy Aaravos? He hasn’t won anything. You’ll still be a good guy, Callum.”

“Thanks, Soren.”

“Right? I’m proud of myself for that one. But I think I know a certain elf who could cheer you up even better.”

“Rayla…”

Callum’s eyes fell low. He had barely talked to her all month, only breaking their silence to offer her an update on his research and now he avoided that too. Telling the poor girl that he hadn’t made any progress was demoralizing, it sapped the strength from his body and the way she nodded in understanding was pain inducing. Rayla was already a painful memory, one that now haunted him in the face, promising him a future after stealing it from him. But he’d denied himself the hope she brought, all to escape her curse.

“Heard she had a birthday. The big eighteen. So how did-”

“We broke up, Soren. I mean… technically she broke us up when she left but… I guess she didn’t see it that way.”

“Wait… You dumped Rayla?! Callum, you love her more than anything!”

“I know!” shouted Callum, “But she… I do love her. And I… I think I hate her too.”

The air between them fell into a heavy silence, leaving them both with pained eyes seeping with anger.

At last, the Crownguard let out, “Oh.”

Soren shook his head.

“Buddy, your feelings are totally valid. But I think you’ll just be even more miserable this way. And… what if some other guy comes and takes her? How would you feel about that?”

“What? Soren, it’s not my business if-”

“You’d be jealous wouldn’t you?”

“I… I don’t know. For all I know, was I the only guy for her these last two years?”

“Yeesh,” remarked Soren, “Don’t give her that answer if she asks. Well, I hope you two work it out. At least, become friends again. Still rooting for you two.”

He fired finger guns at Callum before awkwardly backing out of the room. The second he was down the spiraling set of stairs, Soren let out a sigh of exasperation and fell into a more sunken posture. His friends were hurting. Callum and Rayla had never seemed happier than when they were together at the Storm Spire, and they’d made so much progress after Umber Tor. What had gone wrong?

_____________________________________________

Rayla was waiting for Soren at dusk as he began one of his old patrols along the wall. The knight was letting out deep breaths from his jog as he realized the elf was sitting atop the wall’s battlement, one knee pulled into her chest as her hand lay atop it. Her silky white hair was flowing freely, loose and long, as she gazed over the horizon. Her eyes seemed heavily bagged, and she seemed a bit thin. Soren’s eyes blinked in worry. She gazed over at him now and soaked in his appearance. The captain himself seemed a bit thin these days.

“Soren… I was hoping we could talk.”

“Talk?” he asked, not masking his confusion.

“I wanted to apologize. For what happened in the Drakewood. I’ve… I’ve wanted to apologize for a while now, but you left and… and…”

Rayla was holding back tears. For some reason, admitting her mistakes to Soren brought other failures into the center of her mind, forcing her to acknowledge each and every one. Failures in her journey and a failure to love and cherish Callum. In the end, Rayla was nothing but a failure who hurt the people she loved, neither protecting them from foe nor herself.

“Oh that? It’s fine I…”

“It isn’t fine, Soren,” said Rayla exasperatedly, “I know you’re hurting. I see it when you think people aren’t looking. You said you met them. Claudia and Viren. And… you didn’t get them back. They were your family.”

Soren frowned before looking away towards the skyline.

Rayla asked, “Have you let any of it out? Callum always said humans had their ‘Big Feelings Time’ where they…”

Upon hearing the elf say those words, Soren started clutching at his stomach as he let out a belly laugh.

“Haha! Oh man. I’ve… I don’t think my dad was a big fan of that game. Oh. Oh I needed that! Thanks, Rayla.”

He wiped a tear from the corner of his eye.

“That’s it? Do you want to… hug?”

Rayla was disgusted with how merely asking it flustered her. She was overcome with emotion, yet still aware of just how broad Soren’s shoulders were. Although in truth, Callum’s narrow frame remained her favorite but… Before she could dream of her ex, the knight had enveloped her in powerful forearms and boy, was he warm. Strong. Able to snap her in two. The way his hand nestled into her back so tenderly and needily… It was magical. Soren had pulled her in flush against him and oh no… Rayla realized now just how long it had been since she’d had physical affection from something besides a cuddle monkey, how long she‘d been touch starved. She’d wanted Callum to hug her like this… at least more than the one time, and now she’d never get that again. And yet Soren was doing a really good job to satisfy that primal need, much to the elf’s horror.

It was then she felt him hugging even tighter.

“Ack! Soren… You idiot. Yer. Crush. Me!” she said, barely any air left in her lungs.

“Thanks Rayla. I needed this. I… I’m not doing so good.”

Rayla’s amethyst eyes widened in horror before shutting entirely.

“Oh Soren… It’s okay. I have you.”

As his hug softened, Rayla’s arms wrapped around him ever tighter.

“I’m sorry what happened with your family," she began, "and I know… we… I… I abandoned you too.”

“Yeah… I missed you. We used to spar, remember?”

“I do. I remember. I remember you, me, and Callum going on picnics and watching the sunset together… Comforting you when you tossed and turned in your sleep… I… I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I don’t know how I was able to leave. I almost wasn’t but I did. I was gone so long even though I loved Callum. And you meant so much to me. You all did. I… I know I don’t deserve it but…”

Soren’s fingers slid over her cheek, wiping away her frozen tears chilled by an evening wind.

The elf cried out, “I want back. I just want to be home again. And I won’t leave you anymore, Soren. You’re not alone, you hear?”

And with that, his blue eyes trembled and down came the tears.

“Claudia didn’t care…” said Soren, “And Dad wouldn’t talk to me. I begged them to talk. To stay but… they wouldn’t. If I had tried a little harder, would they have…?”

“I don’t know. But what they did was wrong. Leaving you was wrong, Soren.”

Every word to comfort him was a strike against her.

And Rayla realized…

Just how sorry she was.

How much she had hurt Callum.

And Soren.

And Ethari.

And everyone she ever loved.

She was no better than Claudia in the end.

Tears were pouring down the Moonshadow assassin’s face and mixing with those of Soren. Rayla cradled herself in his arms, as he pulled her in even tighter and they both felt the weight of their horrid loneliness lightened at last. Her face was pressed hard against his own, feeling the dampness of his tears and the length of his hair. His hands were sliding exploratively up her back, not sexually, but searching for something to hold onto. He lost all his strength and began to slide down the wall until she was sitting atop of his lap, straddling him. Rayla was blushing but neither was looking for romance. They needed companionship. Stella also seemed to have slipped over Soren’s shoulder to offer him a comforting hand. Like mother like daughter.

Soren said, “I really missed you, Rayla.”

Rayla grabbed him affectionately by the wrist and cradled it in her hand.

She said, “I missed you too, Soren.”

“Do you want to…” he asked suddenly chipper, “Go for a spar?”

“A spar? That sounds fun.”

_____________________________________________

Their duel was a beautiful thing. Rayla’s speed and agility had increased in those two years, but so had Soren’s. She admired it, truly. He had learned so much in those few months they had known each other and so his prowess made the most of it. Soren could effortlessly maneuver from a thrust into a flourish and a slash. Rayla was forced to stay on her toes when he began his onslaught, but she was daring enough to dance as she did, to remind the knight of her elegance in battle. This man was her equal in every way. Afterwards, they headed to the royal court for that night’s banquet and stole as many jelly tarts as they could carry. They smuggled them back up to the castle wall and now began to munch on them, all the while Rayla lay her head on Soren’s armored shoulder. It was strange to her to think there was another man she could be as casually intimate with as she had with Callum.

“Eat it up for Mama,” said Rayla with affection as she handed Stella a chunk of pastry covered in a fruity glaze. The cuddle monkey scurried up to her and nabbed the snack with her four arms. After a quick sniff, Stella offered her mother a loving look of gratitude before her little fangs sunk into her dessert. The Moonshadow elf now turned to watch as Soren wolfed down another tart.

“Huh? Aren’t you full? You stuffing yourself for hibernation, Soren?”

“What no… I... Just love jelly tarts, heh heh.”

Soren gulped down another, nearly choking on it, before gruffly slamming on his chest to help it down the old pipe.

Rayla asked gently, “Easy there, big guy. So… Why do you like being up here? On the walls and such?”

“The walls? I guess it’s just part of my exercise routine. And… it’s quiet. It’s peaceful. It feels good to know you can see everything. That everything is safe but also the worlds’ beauty is right there with you.”

“Huh…” she said mouth slightly agape, “That’s deep. Didn’t think you one for waxing philosophical.”

Rayla jabbed him lightly in the rib with her elbow.

“Well… I try,” he said cheekily.

“You know,” began the ivory-haired woman, “I remember scaling these walls back then. The walls of the enemy… And now I’m beginning to see them as my home. I think… I think this is my home now. Well, I did… I don’t know if Callum wants me here. And if my parents and Runaan get out… I wonder if I should go with them back to the Silvergrove?”

“That’s up to you, elf,” said the knight, “But… Between you and me, I want you here.”

“Do you now?”

“Yeah…”

“You’re sweet,” said Rayla, “I was wrong about you, Soren. So very wrong. I… I really like you.”

“I-I like you too. You’re… being awfully nice. Where’s the sassy Rayla we all know?”

His head was dangerously close to her own as he teased.

“Shut up,” she said with a laugh before she slid up onto his chest. She wasn’t sure what was pulling her in, but it reminded her of how she instinctively pressed a hand to Callum’s chest as they kissed atop the Ambler. Soren seemed to feel the same way because his arms wrapped tightly around her back. Rayla reached for his lips. She knew she shouldn’t. She already had a man she loved and to kiss Soren was a horrible mistake for her grieving heart. This man was Callum’s best friend. And he was her own too. Both had been her very best friends in a world that had felt all too lonely. Could she do this?

Nonetheless, no matter how afraid she was, Rayla couldn’t stop herself from leaning forward still. His lips seemed to draw her in, so soft-looking and inviting, promising her a taste of romance. Soren shut his eyes and Rayla did the same, melting into his arms as the kiss deepened. Rayla let out a moan of ecstasy. She’d needed to be kissed over the last few years. As their lips parted, Rayla looked down at Soren, at his sapphire eyes  brimming with joy. She couldn’t help but smile at what they had done, and…

Then she freaked the hell out.

“Moon! What did I-? What did you-? I’m so sorry, Soren. I shouldn’t have… I should have asked... I…”

“Don’t go…” he said weakly, “I want you here.”

“Huh? I… Okay.”

His arms had remained locked around her desperately sealing her in a prison of heat and desire. She leaned up against him and lay kisses on his neck, feeling the scruff of his beard itch at her soft cheek. He was so different than Callum. Tall, muscular, hairy, and rugged. Callum was also tall but he was equally lithe, with soft skin and a beauty to him. And both were alluring to her in their own way, making her feel loved and warm. Did that mean she had feelings for Soren too? Was that possible? It wasn’t unheard of to take two husbands in the Silvergrove, but humans had no such couplings in Katolis, and Ethari and Runaan wouldn’t have shared their partner in a million years, so where did that leave her?

Then again, Callum wasn’t hers anymore, now, was he? And he’d never be hers ever again thanks to her cruelty. And if she was so quick to fall in love again, then she truly never did deserve Callum’s heart. There was a certain relief in knowing she could never again hurt him, but it was bittersweet at best, masking a deep heartache.

Rayla snuggled again into Soren, letting her hands wander over his chest. And to her despair, her hips that had never stopped straddling him started to instinctively gyrate. Soren was growing “excited” himself and Rayla felt her mind wanting to go all the way, to a place of fevers and kisses. But she wouldn’t. She fought back the need that had been eating at her for years. She drew herself up to her feet now and looked down at Soren awkwardly. Rayla frowned a bit, begging for Soren to say something.

“Well?”

“That was…” began the handsome knight, “Unexpected. I liked it. But… I also don’t want to hurt your chances with Callum.”

He was still so sweet. Not wishing to hurt either of his friends. Soren was a man of sacrifice, even when it came to matters of love.

“Soren, I can’t-”

“It’s alright, Rayla. Really.”

It wasn’t alright.

“Perhaps we should give it some time to process,” said Rayla.

“It’s fine, Ray. I’m backing off. For now. One day, I might just give it another shot.”

Rayla watched him wink. That arrogant wink that always made her roll her eyes was making her heart flutter madly right now. Even worse, her cheeks were smattered pink.

“If so, I might just give it another shot too, big guy.”

“If it’s Callum though… It’s alright, Rayla. Really.”

Rayla smiled affectionately at him, reaching out with a pale hand. The scratch of his beard enamored her as she cradled his cheek for a moment.

He really was the sweetest.

_____________________________________________

Several days later…

Rayla sat atop a chair, eyes focused on sharpening her blades with a whetstone. The Moonshadow elf paused her task for a moment to watch as Stella danced around the room, climbing every surface and hanging by her tail at times to lazily peer down at her cuddle mama from the chandelier. Rayla smiled up at her lovingly. The little cuddle monkey enjoyed their moments together, but these days she was often gone playing with Bait. And really, she’d taken a liking to everyone in the “dragang” as Soren called them. They were one big family. All except for the elf. Rayla wondered if she’d ever feel fully a part of it as long as Callum hated her.

Her ears flickered at she heard the sound of rapidly approaching boots. Each tap was quick and excited, the runner ready to trip over their own feet. The feel of the vibrations was light like a feather… Callum. He was running towards her room and fast. Rayla gulped as the door flew open and Callum found himself gawking at Rayla with her pants halfway down her knees. Callum blushed at the sight of her bare curvy legs while the Moonshadow elf remained wide-eyed and frozen.

Rayla said, “Ah… Well, at least it can’t get any more embarrassing. Oh no. Not the irony.”

The soldier Marcos jogged up to Callum and said between breaths, “High Mage, why did you run off-Oh. I’ll come back later.”

Marcos, squirming and red, marched awkwardly back the way he had come. The elf was equally beet red. Her interactions with that man were always memorable, if for the wrong reasons. As for her ex-boyfriend…

Callum blushed furiously before spinning around, gazing out the hall but showing no sign of leaving.

He asked, “Um… Rayla… Sorry for barging in but also you’ll absolutely want to hear this.”

“Mah pants are up. Speak away.”

“Okay,” he said while cheerfully clapping his gloved hands together, “So I’ve found it. I know how to get your family out of the coins!”

“Wha-?!”

He ran into her bedchambers, eyes lit up like a child at a birthday party, seeming to forget his resentment against her. Callum was “dorking” out shamelessly and he was proud of himself. In that moment, Rayla’s love of him was mixed with utter relief knowing Runaan and the others would finally be out of that hellish prison. She leapt up and threw her arms around Callum.  The mage smiled radiantly as they embraced, deepening the hug.

“I… I missed you, Rayla.”

“I missed you too, Callum.”

“Okay so… This is great news and all but… Um, can we talk alone? Er... not in front of the kid?”

“Stella baby, give us just a wee sec?”

Stella chirped obediently and Rayla swore she gave them both a knowing look before she skittered out of the room. Callum ran a hand through his hair timidly, immediately regretting it as his flawlessly-kempt hair became far messier.

He looked away awkwardly as he resumed his chattering, “Bad news is that I only found out how to do it with dark magic.”

“Oh… That’s not so good.”

“Right? Very bad and well… Rayla, I’m willing to do it. I am. Getting your family back is worth it.”

“But Callum… You’ve been so worried about Aaravos. What if… What if this is just what he wants? You despise Dark Magic. I can’t ask this… Not even for them.”

“Yes, you can. And I’ll be fine… I think.”

“Callum, I’m so grateful. And I’m so sorry. It’s not right you have to do something you dislike so bad just to save them.”

“It happens,” he said as his voice took on a deeper tone, “You’re not a killer Rayla. But even you… With Zym. You chose to do that to save him and sometimes to do the right thing, we have to forsake our morals. As long as we don’t make a habit of it… Perhaps we’re not really on that path of darkness.”

She watched as his eyes took on a darker hue, and for a moment, her mind struggled to understand how such words had left innocent Callum’s lips. Even so, they struck true.

“I hope so. But with you Callum… I know you’ll do the right thing in the end. Even so, be careful. I don’t want you falling into another deathly fever again. If you decide not to do this, I’ll be relieved.”

“And you’ll be mortified knowing they’re still stuck in there. I know. But I’ve chosen to do it as High Mage. I just need some time to… To prepare. To think.”

“That's more than fair,” said Rayla.

“But… Rayla, happy birthday.”

“Huh?”

Callum rubbed the back of his hair and said, “I know. I know. I’m a month late and I never wished you one. I guess I was mad at you for not wishing me one, but I always intended to give you a present. To give you the best present I could give you. A family.”

“Oh Callum… Thank you.”

“Rayla… I know I broke your heart back then. But I’ve been thinking about it, and I’ve been dying without you. I miss you so bad. I’m not sleeping anymore. I miss your jokes. The way we bonded over my silly magical rambling. The way you teased me. The way you supported and kissed me. I haven’t been myself since you left two years ago, and I still don’t feel like me.”

Rayla coyly ran a hand through her white locks and asked, “Do you mean… You’ll take me back?”

“I’m asking if you’ll takemeback.”

“Callum! Yes! A thousand times yes. All month, I’ve just been pining and sulking.”

Callum’s slender but muscled arms wrapped around her back and his hug felt spectacular. Her head rested on his shoulder, and she took in his scent. The smell of dusty old books, of jelly tarts, and some sort of spices. Her dorky mage boyfriend was back. But then a bitter revelation struck her. Rayla was no good for him. The guilt was stifling as she realized either way a man would be hurt. And she’d have to tell Callum the truth. There could be no more lies if this relationship was to have a chance.

“But…” she said as she pulled away from him, “I can’t. Callum, I did something and you’re going to hate me again. And I deserve it. I really am the worst.”

“Did what? Is this about Soren?”

“About-Wha?”

“I have guards, Rayla. I know you are spending time with him. And cuddling and all that.”

“You knew?”

“Well, I figured you’d been crushing on him for a while now. The way you were so desperate to find him in the Drakewoods and how sad you got when he left.”

“I-It wasn’t-I wasn’t.” she spazzed, face utterly mortified as it had been back when Runaan learned she’d spared Marcos.

Callum took her four fingers into his five and said, “I’m not mad, Rayla. I… I don’t really care. I mean I was pissed at first. Like, it’s one of the reasons I was avoiding you lately. But now, I just want you back. I don’t mind sharing but I need to know you won’t leave me for him. That… I’m enough whether or not he’s around.”

“Of course, you are. But what are you saying? Callum, you should still be furious. Jealous. Angry. If you were in love with someone else, I’d be devastated. I was dreading it the whole time. Afraid Claudia would come back and steal you away from me or it’d be someone new. Ready to split them up the spine if you asked to share.”

“Wow, you have an active imagination. And I’m not interested in anyone else. That’s not what this is about. This is about whether you’ll come back.”

“Yes. Callum, a thousand times yes.”

He pulled her into his arms again and then Rayla reached beneath his chin, propping it up with a thumb and she kissed the man of her dreams. Her soulmate. Her everything. The kiss was deep. Her hand groped at his firm chest as they shared a tender kiss, one of a hundred they’d enjoyed together since the Oasis. Oh, how the feeling of his body drove her wild with lust! She was laying mad kisses up and down his neck. Pushing him onto the bed to kiss him deeper… and soon they were cuddled up against each other, gazing out the window at a full moon. Rayla lay huddled against his chest, a hand resting on his other pec as she drifted off to sleep. In that moment, her world was restored to her. Well, mostly.

There was no way she could risk Callum's offer no matter how much he promised it was safe. She only hoped Soren would understand.

_____________________________________________

The time came for gathering magical ingredients or more specifically, for beginning a wild hunt. The dark magic in question called for a great number of things, few cheap or easy to acquire, and many were only found in Xadia. All that now remained, was a rare bushel of fruit and sets of enchanted antlers found on an elusive breed of Xadian deer, one needed for each coin. The Dragon Queen had been gracious. While she vehemently disagreed with their usage of forbidden magic, she made a sole exception as the family to be rescued were victims of dark magic curses. Even more, these imprisoned elves belonged to the hero Rayla who had personally saved her little boy Zym. As such, the knights of Katolis were given permission to hunt their game in the Drakewood. But never again would Zubeia allow such evil to be willingly conducted in her territory.

Soon night came upon them, and Callum, Rayla, and Soren began to set up camp.

Soren stretched his legs and flexed his back. “Oh wow. Look. At. That. Sky. Beautiful. Nothing beats the fresh outdoors, huh, gang?”

Rayla retorted mockingly, “Well, why don’t you stay out here while Callum and I take the nice warm tent then, big guy?”

“Oh! Don’t tempt me with a good time. While you have a good time!” cooed Soren with finger guns.

Rayla blushed and asked, “Wha-?”

“Just pulling your leg. But for real, you guys enjoy the tent. The sleeping bag suits me. Enjoy your couples time.”

His blue eyes grew soft at the pair of them.

Rayla said, “Soren… I don’t know…”

“Get in here, Soren,” said Callum bluntly, “We’re a trio. We stick together. Or you’ll get nabbed by another dragon.”

“Yeah,” said the Moonshadow elf, “I’m not letting you leave my sight again. Not after the Drakewood.”

“Rayla, that was…”

“I’m not losing you again.”

Her voice had a desperate edge to it, free of her usual sarcasm. Soren nodded and slipped into the tent with the both of them. Rayla gulped a bit as the tent was more cramped than she expected. Human royal tents were supposed to be bigger than this right? Stella was off in the corner, comfortably resting with her back on Bait’s side, and even they were so close that Rayla’s tippy toes could poke them. But the real issue was being between the two men she loved. The elf decided to turn towards Callum and wrap her arms around him, kissing him on the lips goodnight and snuggling in his arms. Rayla close her eyes immediately to ease the awkwardness of it all, a part of her regretting that Soren had to see this. She wondered if she should go back to sleeping in a more platonic position.

Soren broke the long silence by confessing, “So… Don’t be mad but I uh… I can’t fall asleep. You guys do know it’s only like 8 pm, right?”

“Soren, you-Actually, that’s a pretty good point,” admitted Rayla, a hand beneath her chin.

Callum said, “Yeah. I’m not falling asleep for hours. Especially with those drakes screaming out there like its mating season.”

Rayla scoffed and swatted his shoulder playfully.

The knight said, “Oh! I hope I run into my girl.”

Callum asked, “Your girl?”

Rayla sighed and said in a deadpan tone, “It’s probably just gonna be a dragon.”

“Ding! We have a winner. It’s a drake and she is my friend.”

Rayla said, “A friend eh? Maybe if we put some honey on you in the morning, we can-”

Oh no. She was imagining covering Soren’s bare muscles coated in honey… Why did all their platonic humor now feel so wrong after the kiss? She missed their bromance and morning duels with all their chaste glory.

Callum said somberly, “Actually, there is something I want to talk about. That we haven’t talked about, Rayla. Soren, can hear it too.”

“Wha-? Wait…” began Rayla, “Is this Big Feelings Time?”

“Yep. Big Feelings Time.”

“Ugh… fine,” replied the elf, defeated hand resting on her cheek, “I suppose I owe you that much.”

“You do,” said Callum with an assertive finger, “You said you were gonna put an effort to start talking about what’s aching you and… Rayla, there’s no way you aren’t feeling things. Getting Runaan back? Your parents? You haven’t seen them since you were a kid. It must be a lot on your mind.”

Rayla dug her nails into the blanket and turned to him, asking, “That’s what you’re worried about?”

“Sorry that I’m worried about my girlfriend who still won’t talk to me about what’s hurting her.”

The elf’s teeth clamped together before she lashed out, “Me? What about you? How can you be so cool about this, Callum? Runaan… What he did to your dad… And you, Soren! Harrow was your king too. Ezran’s father… None of you say anything. You're allowed to be bothered by it. To be mad.”

Soren’s eyes lowered as he answered, “Rayla, I’m happy for you. I don’t have to like the guy. But it’s fine. What he went through is punishment enough for what he did to my king.���

Callum said, “I’m not happy to see him either, Rayla, but I am happy to help restore a piece of your broken heart. When you came back, I was so mad. All I could think about was the pain you put me through. And now? And now I’m starting to think of other things. What you went through… What this means to you. I want to make it hurt less, Rayla. I love you.”

“I love you too, my moon” sung Rayla with a kiss on his lips.

Soren said, “I want to help too. I wouldn’t have done something like this otherwise. So, Rayla, how are you feeling?”

Rayla’s eyes lowered as she contemplated for a second what to say. It needed to be earnest or Callum’s trust in her would wane.

“I… I don’t know if Runaan hates me or not. I always thought that he’d survive… Get away. That he was holding back when we fought. But if he’s been alive in that prison... suffering… Has he come to hate me? I wouldn’t blame him.”

“Runaan doesn’t hate you," answered the mage.

“I hate me though… He was my father and he loved me like I was his own. I see that now. I don’t regret going with you and Ezran to save the egg but… I can never apologize enough to him. I was an ungrateful daughter. Yearning for parents, pushing him into training me when I was a wee girl just so I wasn’t so alone, and then abandoning his Ethari the last two years to grieve alone. Right when he put his trust in me, I betrayed him. And he was starved, tortured, and sealed away horrifically because of me.”

Rayla’s talons dug into her skull as she said, “Sometimes at night, I… I feel his hands wrapping around my throat and pulling me into that sea of souls. They remind me of my sins, they drag me into a grave and I wonder if… If I’m finally getting what I deserve.”

“That’s enough, Rayla!” shouted Callum as he pulled her into his chest.

Soren put a comforting hand on her shoulder and said, “He’s right. That’s enough of these… dark thoughts. I still have nightmares you know, about the day I killed… my dad. It wasn’t real but… it felt real. And it was eating at me and you know what I did?”

“What?” asked Rayla.

“I trained. I exercised. I did my duties as captain. And I laughed and ate with all my friends. I stayed where I was loved. This is where you are loved.”

“S-Soren…?” asked Rayla with a blush.

“Oh um… I didn’t mean…”

Callum said, “I know, Soren. I saw you with her and I don’t care. I just want Rayla to be fine again. So… you better be there for her too.”

Soren blinked in confusion, as did Rayla.

They asked in harmony, “What?”

Callum kissed Rayla hard on the lips again and pulled her back in his arms. Soren moved his arms hesitantly forward, freezing as if worried that touching a finger on Rayla would destroy everything he loved. At last, he lay his chest on her back and his arms wrapped around her waist. Rayla moaned and winced from the sensation, turning to receive his own kiss. She felt her heart racing as if the jaws of Sol Regem were behind her. She was in bliss being sandwiched between these two gorgeous men, bodies radiating like furnaces and spoiling her in hugs and kisses. Ambushed in the front and from behind, Rayla felt her body wanting to give into a type of pleasure there was no coming back from. She fought to resist it, simply enjoying how they kissed her and slid hands along her back, front, and legs. It was hard to cry and be sad when Soren and Callum enveloped her in so much love.

“Beautiful elf,” said Soren into her ear.

“Handsome boys,” she answered softly, growling right as she tugged on the High Mage’s ear.

Callum said, “Rayla… I love you.”

Her lips pressed again to his own.

“I love you too, Callum. And I love you too, Soren.”

That night, Rayla slept happily sweet and sound, with gentle breaths and a pleased smile on her face. Her little girl Stella lay asleep on her chest, all six limbs sprawled out. As for her two lovers, they were laying on her shoulders, arms overlapping on her stomach. Soren and Callum were close, and she found some solace that night, knowing soon her family would only grow larger. Runaan, Tiadrin, and Lain would be freed and then… And then she’d have to explain to them why she had two human boyfriends.

END

[synnthamonsugar]

Ask Game: Toland

favorite thing about them: The way he is a little freak nerd who hangs out with women who can/will kill him instantly, the hive fangirling, the waxing philosophical about things like ten people care about. His motives and loyalties are as ambiguous as his ramblings, and almost as amusing.

least favorite thing about them: The way he disappears for years at a time.

favorite line: There are a lot, including giving the Guardian pro tips on killing Oryx. His remark about his fireteam always gets to me:

Eris torments herself for her erstwhile fireteam and the fates we marched into together. An appreciated but needless penance. Our struggle is a grand dialog. We exchange blood for understanding. It is not tragedy; it is simply the price, and ours to pay.

But my favorite's probably his message to Eris upon Oryx's arrival, which may be the first/only time he was genuinely . . . nice?:

Dearest Eris, Crota's Bane (now we shall see how well you wear that title!), It's not all bad. Yes, the father of all your burdens comes to you with hate on his sword and hunger in his heart. But don't look at it that way. Did you not, when you lost your sight, gain another?

brOTP: with Eriana or Wei Ning

OTP: Eris/Toland

nOTP: Not sure I have one?

random headcanon: Communed with the Darkness at the Lunar anomaly.

unpopular opinion: Hubristic, tunnel-visioned and stupid, not evil. The First Crota Fireteam was mega-doomed from the beginning and nothing he did made their situation worse.

song i associate with them: Fear & Delight - The Correspondents

favorite picture of them: This one where he looks like a cat who lost his footing and is sliding off a surface (while crying about Osiris)