#other things i will have to sink Several Very Long Hours into.

[crimeronan]

okay over the past two hours i have:

cleaned a mountain of garbage in one of the bedrooms

vacuumed said bedroom and the hall

did so many dishes

some were moldy. like. Really moldy.

filled the sink with an entire new sinkload of dishes to soak. (none moldy this time. WIN)

discovered Rotting Spaghetti In Drain (horror movie)

put away 8 bags of groceries still on the floor (all non-perishables)

(aside from one unfortunate onion which had long since become worm food. it was yucky but after the spaghetti it did not faze me at all.)

took out 4 big bags of trash

took out 7 smaller bags of recycling

tidied the kitchen

threw out 6 old and very frightening sponges

threw out many old and frightening cat food cans

scooped the litterbox

what's still left to do:

oh god.

but. it is now possible to walk thru the kitchen without tripping on grocery bags. and also said kitchen is no longer full of mold. so. i'll take it i guess.

[genekies]

screaming, tearing my hair out, sobbing face down on my bed

[crest-of-gautier]

i think purrse owner and all of the other jrpgs i've played have made me mentally assume that games will usually take 100+ hours to beat, maybe 50 if i'm lucky! even though that's not the case at all. thank god for howlongtobeat.

[scottiexmariee]

Hiii 💜 can I request LAD short for the boys with a reader who gets arrested (for something stupid) and calls the boy to bail her out? Please and thank you!!

How the boys would react to you getting arrested <3

Characters: Xavier x Reader | Zayne x Reader | Rafayel x Reader | Sylus x Reader |

Word Count: 1.4k

Masterlist

Warnings: Slight violence mention

“This is a free call from Linkon City Corrections Facility from inmate: (Y/N). To accept this call, please press 1.” 

☆Xav would definitely come get you ASAP

☆This man trusts your judgement and knows you wouldn't end up in jail without a good reason, so he wouldn't even question you until you're safely in his arms

☆ He'd get there in record time so you didn't have to sit too long

When Xavier answered his phone at 2am, he hadn’t even looked at the screen to see who was calling. He knew you were out with your friends tonight, so he was already by the phone waiting for you to let him know you’d made it home safe. However, he expected your voice on the other end of the line, not a robot telling him that you were currently calling from Linkon City jail. 

Xavier blinked rapidly, trying to make sure he’d heard the automated message correctly. The message repeated itself when no button was pushed, confirming that he had definitely not been mistaken.

Xavier immediately pressed 1, listening to another spiel from the robot before the call finally connected. His shoes were on before he even heard your voice.

“(Y/N)?” 

“Xavier,” You began, “I promise I’ll explain everything but I need you to come pick me up. Please.” 

He’d already been planning on it, but the pleading tone in your voice would have had him folding regardless. 

“I’m coming,” He assured you, already halfway out the door.

On the other end of the call, you breathed out a sigh of relief. “I owe you my life,”

The second you get released from custody, he's giving you a hug and telling you to discuss it when you're ready.

When he found out that the reason you were arrested was for clocking a man square in the jaw for being unable to keep his hands to himself, he almost took a turn in a jail cell for the night.

"Xavier, it's okay," You insisted, cupping his face with your hands. "I already took care of it. Can we please just go home?"

"I can assure you it will be handled twice if I see him anywhere,"

❅Zayne definitely comes to get you, but he’s not even gonna pretend that he isn’t a little irritated 

❅Imagine working a grueling 16 hour shift as a surgeon, and when you finally sink down into your couch, ready to relax, your phone rings and it’s a a call from jail

❅because that is zayne’s reality and he is STRESSED 

❅#ringring #helpiminjail 

❅He’d cool off on the drive there, but you’re definitely still getting scolded (absolutely a ‘make better choices’ talk)

❅definitely shows up with heavy ‘disappointed but not surprised’ vibes

You'd gotten arrested for the dumbest thing on the planet.

While out on a walk, your Hunter's Watch notified you of a nearby metaflux fluctation, so you sprang into action without second thought.

You located the Wanderer pretty quickly and gave a good chase, even hopping a fence to put and end to it before it caused any severe damage. Unfortunately for you, the fence you'd hopped just so happened to belong to a private government building. You were very swiftly apprehended and loaded into the police car. The officers refused to hear any of your excuses, charging you with Criminal Trespassing.

You were not going to spend the night in jail over this, so you called the only person you thought might still be awake.

Zayne.

Zayne who, unfortunately, had just gotten home from a horrendously long shift not even an hour before your call came. When the Caller ID popped up for Linkon City Jail, his stomach twisted uncomfortably, already having a pretty good idea of who could potentially be calling him of all people. Initially, he was a whirlwind of frustration and annoyance. Not to mention stressed. His lovely partner, currently sitting in jail like a criminal. He'd leave right away, and most of his frustration would dissipate on the drive to come collect you.

Zayne greeted you with crossed arms and a deadpan expression, waiting until the pair of you got in the car before demanding an explanation. After you explained, his frustration was no longer directed at you, but more so at the absurdity of the situation.

Once you two were parked at his house, Zayne cupped the side of your face in one hand, gently resting his forehead against yours in a much needed gesture of affection.

"Please just try to be a little more careful," He said, his tone surprisingly soft. "I'm going to get grey hairs by the time I'm 30 if I have to keep collecting you from jail,"

❀ let’s be honest Rafayel is probably the reason you’re in jail anyway 

❀ probably trespassing to get a material for rare paint or something 

❀ he’d be mad at you because how are you supposed to protect him (miss bodyguard) if you’re getting arrested?

You felt your jaw tick as your name was finally called for your one free phone call. Of course, you were going to call Rafayel and make bailing you out his problem, since it was his fault you were here anyway. "If you aren't doing anything, I have a quest for you, Miss Bodyguard,"

"I'm out of a custom color for this painting. It's in a suuuper easy spot. You can do it, right?"

Unfortunately for you, Rafayel had failed to mention that his stupid 'custom paint color' was located in an area that was restricted to the public. Maybe he didn't even know. It was hard to tell with him. Either way, you'd gotten busted trespassing and whisked away in a police car.

When Rafayel's voice connected on the other end of the line, he was already running his mouth before you could say anything.

"'Getting materials for my paint' doesn't exactly sound similar to 'end up in jail.' How did you get them confused?"

"You're not a very good bodyguard. How are you supposed to protect me if you can't even dodge the police?"

"Wait. Why are you even in jail? Don't tell me you like...punched a baby or something,"

When he finally shut up for long enough for you to explain yourself, he laughed the second you finished talking.

"Really? That's it?"

"It's not funny, Rafayel. Come get me out of here!"

"Oh, relaaax. I'll be there in 20," Turns out, that plot of land actually belonged to Rafayel. He'd bought it when he realized he could get specific (rare) paint colors from the resources. The police, however, weren't aware that he'd send anyone other than himself to get anything from there, so when they just so happened to see you as they passed by, you really didn't stand a chance.

Rafayel was absolutely not going to let you live it down, either.

Now, in addition to your 'Miss Bodyguard' nickname, you had a less appealing one.

'Miss Criminal.'

⟡ Sylus is genuinely amused when he gets the call

⟡ "You don't typically hear of kittens allowing themselves to be caught,"

⟡ He knows you had a damn good reason for whatever you did

⟡ He'd come get you and lowkey bully you about it on the way home

⟡ any trace of you being in jail mysteriously disappears from the system less than 24 hours later 

Sylus almost didn't answer the phone call.

When the unsaved number popped up on his screen, he instinctively reached to dismiss it. He didn't give his personal cell number out often, so he was well aware of who had this number. There wasn't a single person worth his time that would realistically be calling from an unsaved number.

However, a split second later he realized that he hadn't heard from you for a bit longer than usual.

He cracked a grin the second the robot started speaking, informing him that he was receiving a call from his incarcerated lover.

When the line connected, he spoke first.

"Having a good time, sweetie?"

You could hear the smirk in his voice through the phone, which only added to your annoyance. "Sylus. Please come pick me up,"

"Of course,"

When he arrived to retrieve you, he learned that it was an assault charge. You'd beat up a man nearly twice your size, apparently, and a witness had described you as a menace.

As the two of you exited the building, he looped an arm around your shoulders, asking the only question he cared to ask: "Did he deserve it?"

"Absolutely," You responded. "I'd do it again, actually,"

He chuckled, shaking his head with a fondness reserved for only you. He knew that you were the type to stand on business, and he loved that about you. He was honestly a little proud, even.

"Let's not make this a habit, though." He said, gently tugging your motorcycle helmet over your head. "Stick with me more. You wouldn't have gotten caught,"

[starstruckgrrl]

MORE TAMAKI🙏🙏🙏

who am i to deny you 🫡

ꕤ*. synopsis: tamaki doesn’t do so well at hero events, but he’s grounded with you there. not to mention you give him the perfect motivation!

↳ ♡₊˚.warnings: smut, car sex, he says “i love you”, exhibitionism, unprotected sex, sub!tamaki, pet names, established relationship, lil bit of edging, cute tamaki naps for aftercare :3

a/n: sorry if the way i capitalize some stuff has changed, i want to make it easier to read!! i really hope you like it, give me some feedback or suggestions pls!!

ever since he’s met you, tamaki has been doing a lot better at handling any event that comes his way. his friends take notice, praising him for sticking around “this long!”

he owes his success to you, who he will often scamper off to. you’re always with him at every event, keeping him grounded and confident(ish).

usually, he’ll take you everywhere with him, making you become his bodyguard against awkward conversations or slightly passive aggressive behavior. however, you know that it is good for him to do some things on his own so he won’t feel so horrible when you’re busy and can’t escort him everywhere.

so the pro-hero Suneater is here, after several minutes of you gently pushing him, at a table with Deku, Dynamight, Lemillion, Red Riot, Nejire Chan, and a few other names from high school. while he does feel much better that nejire and mirio are there with him, the potential comfort he might have had is ruined when everyone delves into questions about his personal life.

tamaki mentally curses mirio, who asks first, “Suneater! i haven’t met that girl you’ve been parading around yet? when will i get to meet her?”

“her name is ——, and you can meet her soon, i guess? she said she would follow me over soon.” tamaki replied.

“she’s very nice, Lemillion! i met her once while getting a drink at an event a week or so ago, and she was nothing but kind!” Deku shot out, happy to have met a nice person.

nejire never passes up an opportunity to talk about something happy, so she began her rambling, “she’s so preeeetty! can you ask her about what products she uses in her hair? does she have extensions? does she wear wigs? if so, where does she get such natural ones?”

the indigo-haired hero you cherished began to sink in his seat, visibly overwhelmed by the onslaught of questions that had begun after the mention of his date, but felt better when he felt your hand pat him on the shoulder.

“hi, baby. are you doing okay?” you asked, loud enough for people sitting near him to hear, but to him nonetheless.

he began to sit up in his seat, the pet name being comforting enough to help him regain some composure, “yes, i’m okay, how are you?”

you gave him a small smile as you sat in your spot next to him, confirming that you were feeling alright.

mirio was the first to speak to you, “are you ——?! i’ve heard so much about you!! well, pieces about you, tamaki is kind of private about your relationship, but pieces nonetheless!!”

“yes, that’s me! it’s lovely to meet tamaki’s best friend!” you replied, recognizing tamaki’s description of his grade-school friend.

“AWWW, Suneater, you’ve told her about me!” mirio shouted.

tamaki smiled up at him, how could he ever think that he wouldn’t tell everyone about the person who motivated him so much?

~

as the evening went on, you had been asked plenty of questions, mainly by nejire. you had no complaints, as you found everyone thoroughly entertaining and sweet.

the whole time, you were keeping physical contact, even in small ways, with tamaki. it was the best way to make sure he knew you were still there for him and thinking about him, even as you conversed with the others.

over time, your small touches turned into something else. clasping his hand turned into rubbing his thigh, slight pokes turned into tracing soft circles on his bicep. the little things meant the world to this man, so you knew he was getting your idea.

about 3 hours in, tamaki’s social battery had been completely sucked dry. he gave you a special look and squeezed your hand twice to let you know he wanted to go, a signal the both of you had come up with.

you cleaned up your area at the table, stacking your used dishes neatly for a waiter/waitress to pick up with ease, and stood up. you patted yourself down as your lover stood up, and you all exchanged goodbyes as the both of you walked out, your arm wrapped around his.

the both of you walked out to the car, and tamaki slid his hand down to your waist and pulled you closer. you were stunned, he rarely initiates things, especially in public.

“tama” you cooed in his ear.

tamaki led you to the backseat of the car, opened the door for you, and sat next to you. he kept the door slightly ajar for what he would call “ventilation” when you questioned him later.

you kissed him first, a small but sweet kiss. your partner, however, kissed you again. longer, deeper. he grabbed you and held you close to him, and he leaned against the back of the seat. he began to unzip his pants when you stopped him.

“are you sure, baby?” you asked, knowing his fear of having all eyes on him.

“yes, i love you too much, please.” he replied, asking you to please continue.

you nodded at him, and got on top of him. you gave him kisses on his neck and bit him softly as you pulled down his pants to let his cock spring out.

you flipped up the dress he bought you special for this event, and moved your underwear to the side. tamaki brought his hand down to rub small circles on your clit, getting you wet for him.

you softly pushed his hand away, then brought yourself up, then down onto his dick. he let out a small whimper and you shushed him, “shh, baby, we don’t want anyone to see, do we?”

tamaki swallowed thickly, and stuttered out, “n-no”

“maybe you’d like that, dirty boy.” you teased, and he whined in response.

you bounced up and down softly on him, the friction of the base of his cock teasing your clit.

then, suddenly, you heard voices outside, a mere 10-15 ft away.

“oh, hey, someone’s car door is open. should we close it?” said one of the voices.

tamaki’s eyes widened, but he never stopped bucking up into you, and you never stopped riding him. he whimpered quietly, and you put your thumb in his mouth to silence him.

“nah, let’s just leave it. someone might be coming back to it in just a minute.” said another voice.

the both of you heard their footsteps trail away, and you looked at each other. tamaki leaned up to kiss you, and you could tell he was getting close. he was rutting into you from below, and it made you giggle.

“don’t cum until i say, tama!” you reprimanded.

he nodded quickly, confirming his submission.

you were also getting close, and tamaki always knew that you should cum first. you slammed down onto him harder, making his tip kiss your cervix every time. his cock was rubbing against a sweet spot inside you the deeper you went, and you came with a moan of his name.

as you were going through the aftershocks of your orgasm, tamaki began to beg.

“please, can i cum? please.” he whimpered out, his legs shaking slightly.

you kissed his forehead and gave him permission, and his cock twitched as he finally let go of the orgasm he had been holding. his cum warmed your insides and gave you an extra, satisfying feeling as it began to leak down.

“i’ll drive us back home, sweetheart, you rest. i know you’re tired” you told him as you slowly got up, grabbing a blanket that rested in the back pocket of the car seat, special for any sleepy car rides.

you laid tamaki down in the backseat and covered him in the fluffy blanket. you adjusted his pants and his underwear to make him as comfortable as possible.

you got out, adjusted your dress, and closed the car door. you got into the front seat and turned the car on and the heating up so your partner would be cozy on the ride home.

~

[ahintofchaos]

Homecoming

Agatha Harkness X Reader

Summary:

"Can we go home?"

Agatha, Reader, and Billy clean up and go home after the showdown with Rio. Home, of course, being the Kaplan residence in Eastview. Three bloody witches in suburbia.

Established AgathaxReader, can be read as a standalone or with my other Agatha fics.

“Can we go home?”

You’re bloodied and battered, having just been launched around the backyard like a toy. Your voice is raspy but steady as you stumble to your feet, moving almost unconsciously toward Agatha. Agatha, whose arms are opening to you. 

What a nightmare. Trust Agatha to have the single most dramatic closure talk with an ex you’ve ever seen. You would question her taste in women if you weren’t also one of her choices. 

You find purchase in Agatha’s arms, sagging against her. She, with her recently recovered powers, seems better off than you. Billy, too, is in relatively good shape. He holds his hands out under your arms like he’s waiting to catch you if you fall. You want no one’s touch but Agatha’s right now. “Want to define home for me, honey?” 

You consider her words. You had meant the place where Agatha had lived, but that was currently a little busted, what with the showdown with Rio that took out several windows and inexplicably, a sink. Not to mention the lack of a front door and the probably trashed interior, thanks to the Salem Seven. “Okay. Can we go somewhere else?” 

You don’t know where that would be, but you’re desperate for a place to rest. Agatha might be one of the most powerful witches to ever exist, but you were relatively ordinary as far as witches went, and you were well past your limit. Agatha didn’t offer a solution, but Billy piped up almost hesitantly.

“You can come with me. I mean, to my house.” 

You’re too tired to argue, and Agatha seems to follow your lead. She nods at the boy and you all three make your way around the side of the house to the road, where Billy’s Subaru is miraculously untouched. “What a shitshow,” Agatha mutters as she sets you in the backseat, and you can’t tell if she means the events of today or the state of the car. Both, probably. There are tumbleweeds of crumpled receipts back here, and you’re acutely aware of the amount of crumbs you’re sitting on. Teenagers have never been known for their cleanliness, but this is really something.

Instead of getting into the passenger seat like you expected, Agatha slides in next to you. She buckles your seatbelt and then hers. Billy waits until you’re both set to start off down the street, and before long your head is lolling against the window as you slip into a fuzzy half-sleep state. 

The next thing you register is someone’s fingers in your hair, lightly stroking across all the knots and snarls you’ve accumulated. Your head is no longer against the window but on Agatha’s shoulder, soft and reliable. She gently tilts your head up once your eyes start to flicker open, and she reaches over you to undo your seatbelt. With a whispered “hang tight,” she gets out, leaving your side cold without her pressed against you. She opens your door and half lifts you out of the car. You wind your arm in hers and make your way up the walkway of Billy’s house. It’s quaint, not unlike Agatha’s house. Very suburban. The door isn’t locked, and the three of you walk right in. Billy shucks off his shoes at the front door, and you attempt to do the same. Agatha makes no effort. Billy’s mother is on the couch, her back to the door, but she turns around when she hears you come in. “William?”

Billy ducks sheepishly. “Hi, Mom, I–” 

“Where were you? You’ve been gone for 24 hours!” 

Billy’s father comes in from the kitchen and joins the conversation, which at this point is more of a monologue. Lots of “All day, no communication, where on earth were you?” Their lecture pauses for a moment as both parents simultaneously switch their attention to you. And what a sight you must be. A very disheveled and rather bloodied woman in the arms of a centuries-old witch, who is visibly older than you. Although the age difference is negligible after so many centuries, Agatha does look older than you by appearance. It must be quite the shock, you think, to have your son come home after going missing for a day and bringing with him two unusual guests. Fortunately, Billy’s parents seem more relieved to have him home than anything, and are fairly dismissive of the fact that you’re also here. 

“Uh, Mom, Dad,” Billy says, “we’ve had a really long day and they’re going to crash here, okay?” He motions to you and Agatha, who is at this point holding you up almost entirely, her arm tight around your waist. 

Mrs. Kaplan nods, turning back to Billy. “Yes, of course, sure,” she says, barely paying you any mind. “But you need to communicate with us, William. We were so worried. And it’s so late!” As the three of you walk past her and up the stairs, her eyes linger on Agatha’s swirling dress and coat. You quickly turn your attention back to the stairs, lest you miss one and send you and Agatha both tumbling back down. 

–

“So, this is my room,” Billy says, casting his arm around the space, “and this is the bathroom, if you need it.” It’s a nice little space. Very Billy Kaplan. Maximoff? Who knows. Your attention is fixed on the bed. You want nothing more than to lie down and sleep for a century, but you’re also uncomfortably aware of the blood drying in sticky patches all over your face and neck, courtesy of Rio’s death by a thousand cuts. You’re so tired you’re numb, and you can’t really tell what blood is Agatha’s and what’s yours anymore. But judging by the way both she and Billy look at you, a good bit of it is yours. Ouch. 

“Let’s get you fixed up, then we can sleep,” Agatha says, gently prodding you along toward the bathroom. You follow mutely, taking a seat on the closed toilet while Agatha starts running the sink water. She cups her hands and holds the water up to the tiny window, and you recognize Jen’s healing spell. Agatha looks at you and tilts her head back, and you get her message and do the same. She opens her hands over your face, and the water starts to rinse away the blood. It’s certainly messy, and Billy starts to interject that maybe you should move to the shower for this, but one look from Agatha shuts him up again. She repeats the process several times, picking glass out of your hair and skin where she finds it. Eventually, you’re looking better, and she takes one of the Kaplans’s pristine white hand towels and uses it to gently wipe away the rest of the crusted blood and dirt. You close your eyes, leaning into her touch. She finishes, but keeps her hand on your face, steadying you. You could fall asleep right there. 

“Hey,” Agatha waves a hand toward Billy, who has been observing the entire process from the doorway of the tiny bathroom. “How about some fresh clothes? Find her something normal, please,” she says. That might be a dig at his current outfit, with its emo sweater and cape. She’s one to talk, you think. That purple coat was dramatic as hell. Billy ducks back into his room and rummages through some drawers, and returns with a clumsily folded tshirt and a pair of sweatpants. “Okay?” he asks, and you and Agatha both nod. She closes the door in his face, not taking her hand away from you. Your pulse thumps against her fingertips and she’s never been so glad to feel it. 

“Up,” she coaxes, and you obey. She gently shimmies you out of your old shirt, which is beyond repair, and gently pulls your arms through the new one. It’s a band you don’t recognize, but it’s very Billy. She slides your pants down your legs and you brace yourself on her shoulders as you step out of them one leg at a time. 

“I feel like a baby,” you say as she slides the soft black sweatpants up your legs, settling them on your waist. Agatha looks at you. “You had a rough go out there. Let yourself be a baby. You’re my baby.” If you weren’t so tired you could’ve cried. 

Agatha opened the bathroom door again and you emerged back into Billy’s room, feeling slightly more alive than before. Billy is sitting on the bed, but Agatha motions for him to get off. “My mom said she’s going to bring the air mattress, so we can–” 

“Teen, I am four hundred years old. I am sleeping in a real bed. And so is she.” Her hand settles on your shoulder, and Billy understands what else she’s saying. 

“Oh, I didn’t–” 

“I’m aware,” Agatha snaps. She turns abruptly from him to pull down the covers for you, helping you into bed. Your bones nearly melt as you relax into the mattress. Agatha walks around the bed to the other side and slides in. You lift your tired head and she helps you nestle yourself in her lap, your face pressed against her soft thigh. It’s familiar and comforting, and you smile unconsciously. Cracking your eyes back open, you see Agatha stealing a glance at you, before she readjusts herself against the headboard and rests her hand on your side. Billy starts talking, and Agatha responds, but you can’t bring yourself to focus. You’re alive, Agatha’s alive, and you’re safe. You’re getting real sleep in a real bed for the first time in a week. You drift to sleep with the buzz of Agatha’s voice in your ears and her warmth against you. You breathe deep. 

Everything else is for tomorrow. 

____________________

“Is she asleep?” 

“No, she’s–” Agatha stops herself. Too soon for jokes about that. She pets your hair and you sigh, pressing your face against her lap. “Yes, she’s asleep.” 

Billy shifts on the air mattress. “I didn’t know you were, like, together,” he said.

“Well, now you know.” 

“I thought you and Rio–” 

“That was a long time ago. Things change.” 

Billy paused. “Is that why she was so mad? She wanted you back?” 

“Gee, I should have stopped to ask her. Maybe when she was busy trying to reap your soul to restore cosmic order.” 

“Okay, nevermind.” 

Agatha sighed. “I don’t know. I don’t care.” 

“You don’t? But you two were together, you had a ki–” 

“I’m aware, Teen. But it wasn’t supposed to happen. The universe was against it, and I didn’t care. I wanted to spit in the face of the universe. And it came back to bite me. I wanted to be as strong as Death.” 

“You were angry.”

“Of course I was. I have always been angry. You try being almost executed by your coven at 19. Given a killing power you never learned how to control. You got just a taste of power and couldn’t handle it. You’d have gone on a spree.” She certainly had, but she didn’t say that part out loud. 

Billy knew, all the same. Who wouldn’t give in to the most powerful, most protective part of them? “Are you still angry?” 

Agatha looked down at you, breathing deep, eyes still behind your heavy lids. “Anger is a part of everyone. If you’re not angry, you’re either stupid or lying. But there are more things than anger. And don’t let anyone give you that positivity bullshit. Life hurts. You can’t stop it from hurting. You just do things anyway. And then you find things to hold onto.” 

Billy’s eyes fall on you too, and Agatha clears her throat loudly. He readjusts and looks back at Agatha. “Alright.” 

“Turn off the light, Teen. I’m going to sleep.” 

__________________

Life had not been kind to Agatha. Gifted with a power that was more of a curse, despised by the one person who was supposed to love her above all. Forced to fend for herself against a cruel mother and a coven that never accepted her. No wonder she turned to the one most reliable part of her, the darkest part of her. No wonder she wanted to get back at the universe, be more powerful than life and death. Bend the rules. But no one is stronger than death. Nicholas, being made partly by Death, was never meant to live. Agatha bent the rules as far as she could. And despite her best efforts, the universe came crashing down on her again, taking her son. Reminding her that she cannot force something that was never meant to be. It was enough to end a person. But Agatha was nothing if not a survivor. And eventually she found things worth holding onto. The most central of whom was now fast asleep in her arms, in the bedroom of a teenage boy. Four centuries of life, day by day, and now she was here. With an emo sidekick and the love of her life and the memory of her very own coven. What a journey. What a way to begin.

Taglist:

@polaris-likethestar

[kisakis-boyfriend]

Ok, so, originally I was going to submit this as a request, but I think it's safe to say I went a little overboard with the details and… well... have a thirsty drabble instead. (also, just know that there was supposed to be more praise and dirty talk in this thing, but I couldn't write it in a way that felt right (I'm not that good at writing sex scenes), so feel free to fill in the blanks as your imagination dictates)

This is a trans!Kaeya x male Reader scenario, and some relevant information before we begin: Reader has a Hydro vision and is part of the Knights.

The setting is this: A new domain showed up on the outskirts of Dragonspine. Do you the odd nature of it (resembling a very, very large ice maze filled with environmental puzzles and natural hazards alike) the Knights and the Adventurers Guild are running a joint operation to clear and map it out. They send in 3 pairs of people at a time to disable traps, solve puzzles, find exit points and map the general layout of the maze. Considering the shear size of the domain and it's complete lack of any kind of monsters, it isn't unusual for people to be gone for 4-5 days at a time.

Finally it's yours and Kaeya's turn. You've already been in here for about 3 days, and during that time you haven't come across any monsters, but an abundance of traps, hazards and an eclectic collection of various odds and ends instead. The two of you are set to explore for one more day before making your way to the nearest exit point. During your (frankly speaking- aimless) wandering you stumble upon a large dead end chamber with what look to be natural hot springs in the back. Deciding that the area is a good place to rest you set up camp after thoroughly inspecting your surroundings for any traps or hazards. After setting up camp and having a meal, you agree to take a dip in the hot springs before retiring for the day.

While in the water, you decide that some fun is in order. You press a kiss to the back of Kaeya's neck before pulling him into your lap (his back to your chest) as if you want to cuddle. (Well you do want to cuddle, so you'll take a few minutes to savour the closeness.) You then begin to lightly run your hands over his chest and abdomen, before sliding them down his thighs and opening his legs to expose his cute pussy. You use your vision to form several small tendrils from the water and have them start touching and teasing Kaeya's cunt.

Normally you try to give him an orgasm or two (if you were feeling generous) during your foreplay before using your cock to fuck him stupid. But you're feeling mean today and decide that edging him until he's a whimpering, begging mess would be fun. So, you keep your touches light, eventually sending a few tendrils into Kaeya's cunt to prep him for your cock. You hush his whining with a swift pinch to his clit and a teasing growl of "Only good boys get rewarded, sweetheart. Will you be a good boy for me?". And what is Kaeya to do, but submit to your whims.

After an unknown amount of time (about an hour), you decide that your darling has been teased enough and it's time to give him his reward for being such a good boy. You form three other tendrils and have one wrap around Kaeya's chest a few times while the other two wrap around his calves to maneuver him into a better position as you slip out from behind him and stand between his spread legs. You take a few moments to admire his debauched appearance, from his dazed expression, to the water glinting off his skin and finally to the sight of his puffy pussy seemingly stretched and clenching around nothing.

After a searing kiss, you take a hold of his hips and slowly sink your cock into him, all while you command the multiple tendrils still in his cunt to coalesce into one that's about the same size as your cock. With a coo of "It's time for the good boy to get his reward." you start thrusting. It doesn't take long for Kaeya to reach his end with all the teasing you've been doing. You, however, are just getting started, and you know that you won't be satisfied with only one. So you fuck him through his orgasm into overstimulation, alternating your thrusts with the tendril, or sometimes thrusting in sync.

You take your sweet time to empty two or three loads in his cunt, and by the time you have your fill, Kaeya has nearly blacked out from the intense pleasure. After pulling out your cock, you use the tendril still in his cunt to clean him out with a few swift movements, forcing one last orgasm out of him and sending him into unconsciousness.

Once your darling is sufficiently cleaned You pick him up and get out of the hot springs. You use your vision one last time to get as much water off of the both of you as possible while you carry your passed out (and well fucked) lover into your cosy tent for some well earned rest.

And that's a wrap folks, hopefully you've enjoyed the brainrot that has kept me in a vice for the past 2 weeks. 🌸

This is too good... Literally three of my favorite things: Hot springs, tentacles, and Kaeya 🩵

Thank you so much for gracing me and everyone else with this masterpiece! 💞

[the-golden-vanity]

Is there anything that’s stood out to you as different or unexpected the first time you went sailing? Especially if you’ve ever spent long trips out at sea. I’m writing a seafaring character and I’d love to hear any firsthand experience about it 👀✨

Hello, shipmate!

Firstly, I'm honored to be asked such a question. I'm far from an expert, but I suppose crewing a tall ship on the open ocean is an experience few are lucky enough to share in this day and age.

I signed on to the Pride of Baltimore II for a voyage up the coast with the idea that after reading so many books about pirates, whalers, explorers, and other seafarers, and after watching so many movies and TV series set during the Age of Sail, the only way I could feel truly complete was by experiencing the Age of Sail firsthand. I think I told more than one person on Boat Tumblr that this would either fix me or it would make me worse.

...I'd like you to guess which one happened.

Much of what I encountered on the ship was familiar to me from history and fiction. However, what reading and watching movies can never quite capture are the physical sensations. Here are a few:

The ship makes noise. All the time. It's very rhythmic and predictable, and it is constant. Timbers creak, ropes strain; if the wind is variable or unfavorable, the sails flap loudly. Some of my fellow guest crew were bothered by this, but I loved it. At the end of a watch, especially one where a lot of work needed doing, the rhythmic noises and the rocking motion of the ship were just what I needed to fall asleep for the next seven hours, or until I was called up for standby. I understand now what it means to be "rocked in the cradle of the deep."

If your vessel is well-ventilated, your vessel is sinking! When you are belowdecks, you are essentially in a wooden box. If it's warm on deck, it is oppressively hot and stuffy below, and although my berth had a door, I kept it open most of the time to catch what little breeze came through the main hatchway. The temperature cooled down as we sailed north, and was eventually pretty decent, except when the auxiliary engines were on. I can only imagine in the 19th and early 20th centuries, with steam-powered auxiliary engines, it would have been even hotter!

No one knows what day it is on board. Everyone's on watch on a "4 hours on—4 hours off—4 hours standby" schedule, so you're on duty for 8 hours total, split between opposite sides of the 24-hour day, so "days" don't really have much meaning. This would probably also explain why I saw several of my shipmates wearing an outfit multiple days in a row–it just didn't occur to them that it was a different day.

Before you get your sea legs, you will spend a lot of time stumbling around, falling on your ass, holding onto things for dear life. This, I think, is pretty common knowledge. What I don't think is common knowledge is the fact that once you get your sea legs, land feels like it's moving under your feet. While you're fully awake, it goes away pretty quickly. However, I was waking up for days afterward—like, 4 or 5 days afterwards—convinced that my room was rocking like a ship. Deeply strange, but absolutely worth it, since it meant I had been at sea.

That's what I can think of right now! Let me know if you have any other questions, I'm always happy to answer them.

[inevitably-johnlocked]

hey, steph! how are you, like, genuinely? not the small talk. i wanna listen

Hey Lovely 💜🖤

I want to apologize for putting this off for so long... which should be a clue as to how I am actually doing.

Honestly? Not good, but I'm trying my best. It's been... a time. Will put under a cut for those who don't want to read about the tagged items.

TL;DR – my real life is a bit chaotic, and I hide a lot from y'all because I REALLY try not to be negative here since my blog is where I come to be happy AND because I am a very private person, but I try my best to just keep going day to day as the chaos settles down slowly.

I've got some good things coming though, so I hope a week's rest next week when I'm off (and will probably take a break from here too) will reset my brain.

Work has been insane, and is most of the cause of my mental distress for the past few months. From Easter until Canada Day Weekend at my job is lovingly referred to as "Silly Season" simply because of how on-the-fly, balls-to-the-wall our workload is until summertime downtime officially begins for us. Without disclosing too much, it's basically non-stop, long hours for me until one of the 3 break weeks we get during the this long stretch happens where, incidentally because of the nature of my job and the team I work on, it actually gets BUSIER for us.

It actually ended earlier than we expected this year (yesterday) and we'll be "quieter" until the end of September now. See an opportunity, I actually took next week off between the two long weekends because my mental health has taken a severe hit and I'm having trouble just... enjoying things? I'm haven't gamed or drew in a few weeks, and blogging and writing feels like a chore. I literally just come home, file this blog, reply to one or two asks, and then go to bed, and do it all over again the next day. Day in and day out, for 3 months. On weekends I have to force myself out of my apartment because I KNOW I will sink lower if I don't leave.

On top of that, my brain has convinced me that literally everyone hates me: friends, coworkers, family, you guys, my damned plants. I just feel very alone these days and... I'll be real here, I've almost abandoned this blog a few times in the past few months. I feel like I make fic lists that no one reblogs or likes and tell me they're all shit. I post my art and I barely break 20 notes. I write something and I get maybe 2 likes. I can't really answer any thoughtful asks because my mental state's been in the shitter for months. I desperately want to reply to the few sexuality asks I have and I physically can't. Being on my computer – after working ON a computer for my day job for 12 hour days everyday – feels like too much, so I try to limit my time on the blog now too.

I just try to keep carrying on, encouraged by the once-in-a-blue-moon testimonial ask I get thanking me for still being here. I thank YOU guys for reminding me that people still like coming here.

Stressed about money and food and rent just like everyone else, and just getting frustrated at other things.

And finally, my uncle (my dad's brother and my godfather) hasn't been doing well health-wise, and he's being moved to assisted living next week. His health has been declining since Easter, so it's been a bit of worrying time for relatives.

Having my therapist helps a lot. She talks me through a lot of my complicated feelings, my sense of self and ways to cope with my anxiety and stress. I'm talking to her again next week, so no worries, gang. As I said, I just keep on keeping on.

Some positivity though:

I booked next week off to try to just... recenter myself. To forget about everything and TRY to get back to doing the things I love. I will probably take a break from this blog as well during that time to limit my social-media time. It's not ideal but I need a break from my computer, I think.

I go to the gym a lot more these days, which has helped with the seething annoyance I constantly have at work. Usually feel better after it.

And because of the gym and getting out more, I've been slowly feeling better physically, better than I have since before 2019. The break from work is for the mental health, LOL.

I'm getting my hair recoloured next week. Can't afford it, really, but I just REALLY need to feel better about myself again, and I always feel so different when I colour my hair. I was doing so good for awhile. I want that again.

Anyway, I'm sorry to bombard y'all with my complicated mess of a brain. I really do appreciate you asking, so THANK YOU. I rarely get asked in real life if I am okay because I keep very private due to past people betraying my trust. And I don't like seeing people unhappy, so I feel if I tell people about my problems, then I feel I am a burden, so I just... continue existing.

Thank you for letting me be a burden just this once.

[ametrictonofaudacity]

Bonds 2

Yandere Platonic Batfam x Trans!Masc Reader

Warnings: mentions of kidnapping/captivity, manipulation, non-consensual touching (cuddles), general yandere themes. Reader has been pretty thoroughly conditioned in this, posted non-chronologically.

There is the soft sound of cracking flames and breathing filling the room, a thick, almost heavy heat that sinks into your bones and makes it hard to think. The logs had long since almost burned themselves out, casting a low, red light over the entire room, a far cry from the cheery yellow it had been not three hours before. Everything is dim and soft, the shadows jumping and dancing when the flames sputter and lick up the logs, refusing to die out.

You hum, sleepy and tired, and turn your head. It’s late, late enough that you wonder when the grandfather clock was going to swing open and let your siblings back into the Manor. Soon, you think. You hoped. It was exhausting, waiting up for them when you didn’t operate on the same schedule they did, unused to pulling long nights without rest and the intense exhaustion that came with what they did.

You huff, pushing the blanket off yourself. The heat was almost stifling, almost uncomfortable, and you lament the fact that you were allowed to open the windows. One gust of Gotham’s wind, biting and chilling and so very dangerous to those who either didn’t know to get out of it in the winter months or couldn’t, would bring relief right away, cool the room down instantly. It used to do the same to your old apartment, even if you hadn’t wanted it to. Wormed it’s way into the cracks and crevices around the windows, whistled loudly as it battered against the door.

Wayne Manor didn’t have that issue. You’re still adjusting to it.

The clock dongs, and you groan, turning your head over to look at it. Fuck, it was late. Late enough you should have gone to bed hours ago, but the silent Manor was almost eerie, the lack of your siblings or Father almost disturbing. Alfred was in the Cave, where you weren’t allowed anyways, monitoring the comms. And you, most likely, now that you thought about it.

The grandfather clock swings open.

You push yourself up, and there’s a strange mix of relief and anxiety in your chest. While you hadn’t, technically, been breaking any rules, you weren’t supposed to be up this late.

It’s Bruce who comes through the entrance first. There’s a heavy exhaustion written all over him, a tiredness that makes your chest twist with something that feels like worry and just might be. Your eyes skim him for injury, for blood, whether it was his or someone else’s.

“You’re not supposed to be up this late.” He frowns, all severe lines and frowns.

“It’s too quite. I couldn’t sleep.” You say, and that makes his shoulders soften, the sternness melting away into something softer, more sympathetic. He sighs, then pulls back his cowl.

“Right. I’m sorry we had to leave you home alone, it was all hands on deck tonight.” He apologizes, like leaving you home alone in the Manor is some great sin he had committed. It was fine. You just weren’t used to the quiet.

“It’s fine, Dad.”

You assure, and he hums. He doesn’t believe you, you know, but he doesn’t press.

The shadows in entrance to the cave shift, just slightly, and Cass melts into your view. You had never figured out how your older sister did that, melted in and out shadow like she belonged in them, but she had startled you more times than you could count doing that. Part of you thought she found it funny.

“Why don’t you let me put a movie on?” You offer, tilting your head. They were always exhausted after patrol, nearly always put on some nostalgic, gentle movie after a long night. You were pretty sure it helped them unwind after a harsh night. It would help you. It had helped you, after fights with them over things that weren’t important and nights when you hadn’t been able to think about anything other than freedom.

“Did you stay up for us? You know you have a bed time, yeah, baby bat?” Dick teases, and you hadn’t even seen him come up, too focused on Cass and Bruce.

“I do not, actually. Y’all just worry I don’t sleep enough.” You huff, batting his hand away gently. He grins, dragging you towards him. It’s not careful, there’s strength behind it, but not enough to hurt.

“That’s because you take after the old man and don’t sleep damn near enough.” Jason scoffs, coming up the stairs and into the room. Tim follows, then Steph and Damian. The only person missing was Duke, but Duke was at his uncles, out of state.

“Okay, well, do you want this stupid movie on or not?” You huff, annoyed. Dick still had you trapped against him, and you knew that wasn’t changing any time soon, so you resign yourself to another night of being forcibly cuddled until you fell asleep. If you were particularly unlucky Tim would manage to cling to you like an octopus and fall asleep, in which case you wouldn’t be able to move for the next day without fear of disclosing him, because any time Tim fell asleep he suddenly developed a death grip and a complete inability to wake up unless a bomb goes off.

“I’ll put it on! It was my turn to pick anyway, no matter what Jason says.” Steph volunteers, flicking the tv on and scrolling through the movies so quickly you barely even have time to look at the titles.

“Slow down, Blondie, fuck.” Jason grumbles, squinting at the screen in annoyance. “My concussion may be gone but that shits annoying.”

“You got a concussion?” You can’t help the barely hidden alarm in your voice. You can’t help it. It wasn’t like Jason had any brain cells he could risk losing, for one, with all the extensive head trauma he had already gotten, and for two, you were ninety percent sure he wasn’t supposed to be looking at a screen after getting one.

“Minor concussion. Practically babies first concussion. ‘Sides, Alfie already checked me out and deemed me a-okay.”

“He’s also benched for the next two days.” Bruce tells you dryly, and you snort.

“You’re as bad as Tim.” The puffed up offense is entirely warranted, and you laugh as he drags you against him, tugging you out of Dick’s grip. Dick pouts, predictably, and you snort, amused. Sometimes your older brother was just a little pathetic.

“Oh, bullshit.”

He snorts, settling into the couch. You end up curled between him and Bruce, and Dick pouts again, before he crawls across the top of the couch, splaying himself out to be in contact with all three of you. It’s borderline uncomfortable to look at, a delicate balancing act that came so naturally to him.

“We’re watching The Devil Wears Prada.” Steph announces. “Because we haven’t seen it in forever.”

“We watched it just the other night!” Jason argues, even as the movie starts to play. You settle further into Bruce’s side, who curls an arm around you lightly as he watches your siblings bicker.

“Fuck you, you don’t hear me complaining everytime you want to watch Little Women!” Steph shoots back, and you laugh.

“That is a goddamn masterpiece, you shut the fuck up. It’s way better than fucking- this shit!” Jason argues, almost genuinely offended.

“Shouldn’t you be intervening?” You stage whisper to Bruce, who shoots you an almost conspiratorial look.

“They don’t listen to me anyways.” You laugh, and it’s nice. Happy.

The sound of the movie and bickering and bodies shifting around each other is calming. Familiar. At some point you drift off, and you wake up to the familiar sensation of being carried in warm arms, safe and secure.

You hum, letting them tuck you in carefully, press a kiss to your forehead. You wouldn’t have, months ago, but now it was something long familiar. Welcomed, even.

You can’t remember what changed. You think you were glad it did.

[grandlinedreams]

|| time for another installment of Salem's going to hell and I'm taking you all with me

[Heads up!: oral (reader recieving), afab!reader ig, pet name used (good girl) Law is a cocky mf ok leave me alone bye, he's also a lil mean, orgasm denial]

You can't see anything. 

It's intentional because when you reach to tug at the obstruction, there's the reprimanding click of tongue and the bite of teeth to the inside of your knee that makes you jolt.

"Don't move it." Law's voice is low and murmured against your skin, pressing a soft kiss to the soft plush of your inner thigh. "You said you'd listen to me, didn't you?"

The next kiss is higher, the press of his hand as he coaxes your legs further apart. Your breath is shaky, fingers twitching against the sheets beneath you. There's the pinch of his teeth again, pleasure sparking in your veins.

"Words," he commands, and you swallow.

"Yes," you answer, "I did." Your senses are heightened without your vision, and you can feel the sinful curve of his mouth against your skin. 

"Good girl."

You make a quiet noise at the praise, getting a soft laugh in return before there's another kiss, inching closer to the apex of your thigh as he kneads the other with his fingers.

You want to yank his hat free of where he's demanded you pull the brim over your eyes, be able to see him and sink your fingers into his hair as you guide him to where you've been aching for the better part of an hour now.

This is his fault, after all.

You must voice some of your thoughts, because Law clicks his tongue. "Is that any way to talk to me when I'm taking care of you?"

Your fingers curl against the sheets. "No," you finally manage, shuddering when he blows cool air against your slick center.

"I could leave you like this," he muses. "I don't have to give you anything. Is that what you want?"

Your cheeks burn, pride and desire warring for several long moments before you turn your head. "No," you repeat, and you know that he's smirking.

Smug bastard.

"Then be nice," Law says, as if it's the easiest thing in the world. You bite back the rise of words you want to fire back, force your palms flat to the bed.

Law watches the soft heave of your chest, the twitch of your hips, the familiar curves and dips of soft skin that make up your body ㅡ bare to him, save for his hat.

It's undeniable that you look beautiful like this, the way you're pretty and pliant making him twitch in the confines of his jeans, though he ignores his own arousal in favor of yours as he leans in.

The slide of his tongue against you is unexpected and gets a startled moan from you, cheeks burning even as your hips jerk, seeking more from the man between your legs.

Law follows the twitch and jerk of your hips as he works you with his tongue, delighting in every whimper and breathless plea that spills from your lips.

The flick of his tongue over your clit has a hand snapping down to sink into his hair, fingers curling to tug firmly, and the way Law groans against you makes you whimper.

He lets you get away with the little act of rebellion, shudders at the pleasure that ripples down his spine, his hips rolling instinctively against the bed for friction.

Well versed in the tell-tale signs of your impending orgasm, Law ignores your cry of protest as he pulls away, eyes lust-darkened as he reaches up to tug at his hat, tossing it aside.

"Eyes on me now," he orders as he pinches your chin to keep you from looking away, shine of your slick on his lips making your heart hammer. "Eyes on me, or I stop. Understood?"

You swear this man will be the death of you — but you'll gladly let him if it feels anything like this, let him dismantle you to the very fibre of your being without a fight.

Law presses soft kisses down the plane of your body from collarbone to navel, nips at the dip of your hip before he sinks back between your legs.

The visual makes the sensation more intense, especially now that you can see his eyes close as you fist his hair again, the dark lock of his eyes on your face even as he presses his tongue as far into you as he can.

Law's warning is forgotten as pleasure threatens to incinerate you for how you burn with it, the pleasurable tension in your lower stomach as your back arches, head tipping back ㅡ and the sensation is gone, making you wail at the lack of stimulation.

"I told you," Law says when you look down at him, "eyes on me."

You want to scream, demand that he stop toying with you and let you cum — but all you do is whine and stare back as he resumes what he'd been doing.

Keeping your eyes on him is a struggle when Law knows exactly how to take you apart like this (and with his fingers, and his dick) but you fight hard to manage it, especially as the familiar crescendo of pleasure reignites.

Law is tempted to stop again as he feels the pulse of your walls, but your eyes are still on him, and he isn't that mean. So he renews his efforts, listens to your noises pitch higher and more pleading — and at the end of the day, who is he to deny you what you want?

Your orgasm slams into you with all the grace of shattered glass, white-hot pleasure making you gasp as Law works you through it, swallowing what you have to offer.

You regain cognizance to the low murmur of praise against your hip, sweet nothings that make you boneless in an entirely different way as you tug, coaxing Law up and over you. You kiss him, not caring that you can taste yourself on his tongue as you cradle his face.

"That was something," you say when he pulls away, and you get a huff of amusement from him in return.

"It was, but..." He says, trailing off as you catch the gleam to his eyes. He settles fully between your legs, the bump of his clothed erection against your sensitive core making you whine. "My pretty girl can take more, can't she?"

[dairy-farmer]

Tim comes to the conclusion that Red Robin’s on-field efficiency improves after fucking Batman.

He figures this out after helping Bruce wear off the strong dose of sex pollen he was exposed to during an undercover op. Hours later, while Bruce was still unconscious from their long and rigorous sex, Red Robin goes out solo and handles several petty crimes with such ease. He starts and ends his patrol feeling very refreshed.

But of course, correlation does not equal causation. So, obviously, Tim has to conduct multiple trials before confirming his hypothesis. He thoroughly studies Poison Ivy’s prison guard rotation and if he just so happens to cut off the surveillance cameras for maintenance at a rotation gap, then surely he can’t entirely be faulted. Even if it does happen more than once.

And if he times it when there’s no other nearby cape except him and Batman? Well, that’s just coincidence :))

So they fuck, more than once. And Tim is satisfied with the confirmation of his hypothesis.

Seeing Dick twitch as he stared in a mix of horror and arousal at the security camera footage of Red Robin and Batman having sex on a rooftop (which Tim was just about to erase if Dick hadn’t come barging into the Batcave), he begins to wonder if his hypothesis extends to other capes.

((Meanwhile, Batman is torn between enjoying Tim pussy and guilt because he enjoyed Tim pussy 😔💔 when he finds Tim riding Dick to high heaven in the Batcave……….))

yesssss i love it when tim prioritizes efficiency over everything else that it blinds him from doing taboo things that are against societal/moral norms. but then since its tim of course his immaturity will lead to incorrect conclusions, he thinks its sex with bruce that makes him mroe efficient but really its just being able to orgasm and lower his stress and blood pressure levels. the same effect would be achieved through masturbation but tim thinks its because of bruce and so therefore ends up planning different ways to be able to fuck bruce so he can do a good job as robin 😭😭😭😭

tim seeking out to prove his incorrect hypothesis because of course it keeps working, bruce is big enough to make him cum since every time tim sinks down on him he drags his little baby clit along the cock he gently bounces on. at first tim fucks bruce by doing what he's seen on the tv that plays in his father's office. just...sinking down and going up, pressing the cock in until his tummy hurt. after awhile bruce started moving on his own, once the dizziness of the pollen went away then he'd roll them over and pound into tim until tim was gasping and his toes were curling from the sensations, feet weakly kicking while bruce held him open and sank in until he bottomed out and tim felt the bit of hair at the base of his cock on his kitty cunt.

it was nice, it took some getting used to but tim enjoyed the distant ache that would last hours while he completed patrol after bruce passed out. he always did that after they fucked while tim felt alert enough to protect gotham on his own. tim supposed that was just the price of age.

its dick finding tim's compiled evidence of rooftop surveillance and medbay security camera footage of bruce and tim fucking that sparks his next scientific endeavor and curiosity. wondering whether his current proven hypothesis was applicable to others as well.

dick is aghast at the tapes even more so when tim awkwardly comes on to him because with bruce it was more of a layback and let him do what was natural sort of thing. dick looks like tim has just shot his puppy in front of him when he makes a move and so tim changes tactics to attempting to explain to dick what this was, his hypothesis and how he'd proven it by gesturing to the opened file of security footage. dick just stares at him, mouth open and looking like he's been hit in the head with a rock as tim assures him of the validity of it all and that tim had taken measures to figure out what worked, that bruce had been a willing participant and tim had tried hard to figure out what he liked.

and there's something in dick's expression that twitches at that and tim latches on. dick had always had a strange relationship with bruce. it was often one that lacked the warmth he craved and the level of emotional fulfillment he needed and tim knew that it contributed to dick's choice in partners and their resemblance to bruce- in that they were people who were ultimately emotionally unavailable to dick just like bruce was. tim knew that dick was weird about bruce. and he could use that.

he offered to tell dick what bruce liked, what it was like being with him. he saw the crack in dick's resolve and tim pushed it further, offering to show dick.

and that's how tim gets him. how bruce ends up finding them on the mats together, tim sloppily riding dick the same way he does for bruce as dick arches and moans and softly pushes his hips together with tim's.

tim doesn't bother sticking around for bruce and dick's talk as they both avoid each other's eyes and look elsewhere. tim just gets dressed goes to set out on his patrol. he has a hypothesis to figure out afterall.

[felixcloud6288]

Dungeon Meshi Chapter 14

I really loved the title page showing how Marcille does her hair. If my hair was long enough to do it, I'd try it myself. My favorite part is the braid around her ears.

Her actual hairstyle this chapter isn't the same as the title page though. Instead, she keeps the side braids but wraps her long hair into a large loop ending in a ponytail.

I love these little beat panels. The party is so prone to awkward silences and it's always funny whenever it happens. All of them try very hard to be polite but no one ever knows what to say when they know being honest would upset someone.

We've got some info on magic. It requires the user to take care of their hair. And poor grooming can affect how well support magic can work on a person.

Senshi ought to engage in proper grooming to at least make sure hair doesn't get into the food.

There is some light environmental storytelling about the first expeditions to 4F. By the looks of things, the first people to reach 4F had to smash the walls open to actually access the level. Then builders had to come in to build platforms for adventurers to actually be able to enter the floor.

I get the feeling the upper level was either opened first or had to be made so builders could safely haul and drop the walkways into the water.

Since Senshi doesn't have any means of crossing the water, this is probably the furthest he's ever gone down the dungeon.

All his earlier instances of deriding Marcille's magic had some merit to them, but now Senshi is just being a stubborn old goat. Even if his concern about relying on magic too much will harm his ability to act without it being available, the waterwalking skill is a practical solution to the situation at hand.

He's acting like that employee who's worked at the company for thirty years and takes several hours to fill out a spreadsheet because they don't know how to use any of the calculating tools. Then they stubbornly refuse to let you show them how to fill it quickly cause it's the way they've always done it.

The way Marcille applied waterwalking to Senshi implies that the part where she taps her feet was just performative. As long as she hits you with her staff, the spell is applied.

Senshi didn't immediately sink so the spell works somewhat. I guess the waterwalking spell is less "You can now stand on water" and more "the rate at which your body displaces the water beneath your feet is reduced."

I hated physics but I kind of want to go back through topics related to density, waves, buoyancy, and kinetic energy because of this moment. Real quick, buoyancy is the force that fluids exert in opposition to the gravitational force of an object in it. If buoyancy is stronger than the gravitational force, the object will float over the fluid. If gravity is stronger, the object will sink. There's more to it of course, but I think this is enough background for my upcoming ramble.

When Marcille jumped into the water, there was a tiny splish and some ripples formed around the point of contact. So she made physical contact with the water, but her spell prevented the kinetic energy that would transfer to the water on contact from dispersing the water to any degree that would cause her to fall into it. So the gravitational force she's exerting on the water is so low that she can stand on the water.

I know this is one of those "It's magic. Don't worry about it" moments, but I'd love to consider alternate uses for this spell considering what it appears to be doing. If the spell actually reduces density or weakens the gravitational force that acts against bouyancy, could a sinking ship be saved by applying this spell to it or a sunken ship be raised using it? And can it be used with other liquids? Could a variant be made that can let a person float in the air (This would have to be made with caution cause if it works the way I'm describing, it could easily catapult someone into the stratosphere).

Of all people to oppose Senshi's idea of riding a Kelpie across the water, you'd never suspect Laios. He's the one who comes across as the most likely to want to befriend monsters. But it turns out that he has far more sense about things.

Yes, Laios loves monsters. However, he isn't blind to the reality of what they are. In chapter 8, Senshi talked about the care that goes into living in the dungeon and feeling like you're part of it, but he's overstepping his bounds with Anne. By assuming he can tame and ride her, he's not respecting that she is a dangerous creature that should be treated as such.

The initial interaction with Anne reminded me of a Youtube video of a guy sitting by a river and a grizzly bear casually walks up to him and sits next to him. The bear was docile and the guy wasn't in any danger, yes. But it would be a bad idea to walk up to the bear or try to pet it. And the guy in the video was definitely afraid during that interaction because he was sitting next to a grizzly bear.

Laios also seems to be speaking from experience.

The first hint that Anne wasn't as sweet as she seemed is she chewed on Senshi's blood-soaked beard.

Laios saw what was going to happen from a mile away and lassoed Anne's tail just before she submerged. He even looks like he's saying "I told you!" when Anne begins to descend.

After killing her, Senshi decided to prepare Anne's body to eat it. He's not very emotive, but he's genuinely upset that the bond he thought he had didn't exist. He sees himself as part of the dungeon, but even though he helps take care of it, that doesn't mean the monsters are going to treat him as anything other than potential prey.

Maybe he started to realize that he hadn't given her the proper respect she deserves as a dangerous kelpie. Eating her is a way to give respect though. He's not going to leave her body to rot. If he's going to be part of the dungeon, then he should participate in its ecosystem. His eagerness to use the soap Marcille made from Anne's fat might be an extension to that respect.

Marcille knows how to make soap from scratch. Since hygiene and grooming are important parts of magic, she probably was taught how to make use of what's available.

Oh my gosh! He's so fluffy!!

Senshi's stubbornness and insistence on doing things his own way almost got him killed. At least he's willing to be more flexible now. And he's noticing there are some enjoyable experiences that require magic.

SENSHI FLASH!!

back

[bambisnc]

raspberry lip gloss

pairing : j.sc x fem!reader ish genre : angst !! (i promise its not as sad as the combo of pics i chose) cw/tw : reader is kinda confsuing (and confused) as hell + kisses + raspberry + swearing + not proofread wc : 0.8k

you were not having a great day. 

with all the projects and schoolwork your teachers sadistically enjoyed piling over you, the only thing you had to look forward to was lunch. which was now taken up by some girl, jiwoo or jisu or something – you’re not really sure, and frankly, don’t really care. 

she seems totally unaware of your annoyance, so you take it as a win; that one youtube video on how to pretend that you're not 10 seconds away from committing several criminal acts must have worked. 

jisu (or jiwoo), finally speaks up, “so uh.. please don’t take this the wrong way.. but are you and sungchan um t-together?” … she was this hesitant and terrified to ask you that?

“no? we’re just friends; what even gave you the impressio-”

“oh thank goodness!” she interrupts, sighing with relief, “that was all and i’m sorry to have taken your lunch time..”

without waiting for an answer, you watch as she runs back towards someone who you assumed was a friend of hers. you hear the other one’s critical and harshly disapproving tone, “girl how delusional can you be.. have you seen him?? the guy’s obviously fucking mad about her!”

to that jisu/jiwoo easily provides an answer, “i’m going to be so real sweetheart - i don’t care if he is ‘cause like – have you seen him?? i’d be okay being the homewrecker for that, if you know what i mean~”

you’re not a huge fan of this conversation.

“... you’re mad.” 

“ugh only for him~ like c’mon have you seen him. he’s just soo-” -

“sec c!”

“what.”

“the answer yn.. (1+sin c) divided by (cos c) would be secant c! god, i’m great at this trigonometry shit.” sungchan is rather delighted at having solved one of the easiest questions from the practice test papers you were both had been working on for the past few hours. 

you let him ramble on about how he could literally solve all of these in minutes it’s just that he chose not to, allowing your mind to drift away with his soothing voice.

you think of that girl (jiwoo.. or jisu?) and how she was probably planning on confessing to your friend sometime in the future. which was probably why she asked if there was something going on between the two of you..

“oh right!” he suddenly announces, “jisu from your class confessed to me after school today.” you definitely can sense a hint of amusement by his tone; but also..

damn jiwoo worked fast huh?

“i’m assuming you turned her down?” you quip back playfully 

“excuse me?? assuming?? what do you mean by that??” sungchan always takes your banter the right way – it’s one of the things you’re very fond of about the guy.

“just.. i don’t think you’d be here with me if you’d had a girlfriend by now~” ruffle his hair a bit to emphasize that this is friendly, you’re teasing him platonically.

his smile drops at that, “i would never leave you like that yn; not for anyone.” and there it is.

you opt to let his words sink in hang in the air for some time.

“heyy yn. what’s up with you you’ve been actin’ weird all dayy..” sungchan asks, snapping his fingers in a somewhat desperate attempt to break your haze. 

choosing to stay silent again; you’re not really sure how to answer his question. follow it up by dropping your eyes down to his lips and back to his eyes, as if posing a question of your own.

and he knows the answer. he always does. 

sungchan pulls himself closer to you, cupping your cheek with one hand. a brush of his lips to yours, as if testing the waters, before he completely closes the distance between you both. 

the kiss is long, drawn out. but at the same time it’s .. soft. when you break apart for air, his lips have the slight sheen of your raspberry lip gloss. it looks pretty on him.

“this.” you blurt out, “this is wrong. we- friends don’t do shit like this.” 

but he’s just as quick to fight back, “so let’s not be friends then. let’s be more.”

“sungchan.. i wouldn’t.. i couldn’t bear–” not being enough. not being perfect for him.

“couldn’t bear the idea of dating me. yeah okay i got it.” he’s slow to pack up his stuff, and all you can do is numbly try to process it all..,

“what are you trying to say.”

“i’m leaving. i- i can’t do this right now. i’ll see you later.” he leans to kiss your forehead lightly.

flinching slightly at his touch, you swallow the lump in your throat, to choke out an, “i think we should stop this. for good.” 

your closeness makes you feel like you physically hear his heart shatter into a million pieces, or maybe that’s just yours. 

“what happens to us then…?”

“sungchan.. that’s the thing. there was never an us.”

he leaves without another word.

-

at school the next day, you see him with his arm wrapped around jiwoo’s waist (shit no, you think it’s jisu). you can almost swear that there’s an ever so slight pink shimmer to his lips... and.. is that your lip gloss in his pocket?

notes : fell into a rabbit hole while doign chem idek </3 + [m.list]

[copperbadge]

[ID: Three images; top left, a spray bottle of clear liquid, labeled PRO SPRAY, sits on a gleaming cutting board; top right, Dearborn the tortie glares at the camera from the work desk's copilot basket. Bottom, a white rug with blue patterning in my hallway, surrounded at the edges by dark dustbunny-looking lumps.]

NaClYoHo Day Two! Pardon my grossness.

Yesterday afternoon I did the first of what is usually several trips to the hardware store; I bought spackle, gnat traps, and a PROFESSIONAL spray bottle. PRO SPRAY. It has an adjustable nozzle and measurement marks on the side, so I can dilute the vinegar pretty accurately. Last night I filled it up with vinegar water and laminated the kitchen, and this morning found and killed several weevils it drove out of hiding. It's sitting on the wooden cutting board because I had taken ALL the cleaning supplies out from under the sink and was reminded I should oil my cutting board with some Walrus Oil.

Dearborn is very skeptical about this morning's activity: carpet cleaning.

I threw on an episode of A Date With Dateline, popped in my earbuds, took down my Tineco One X vac and vacuumed for the first time in Slightly Too Long. I didn't get all the way through the house because I was running it on high which drains the battery, but usually vacuuming is a multi-day process. For what I paid for the Tineco I could have a high-end corded vac that does a better job, but I know that I won't use corded vacs because I hate the cord, so I'm okay vacuuming more often with the cordless. In any case, I hit the rugs because the next step was to break out the Hoover Powerdash Pet carpet cleaner and figure out how to use it.

I know I'm dropping a lot of brand names but just because I usually get asked; I don't make money from affiliate links or anything.

Anyway, the Powerdash came to me secondhand from friends who were moving, and for a long time it sat in my hallway in its plastic wrapping because I was intimidated by it. We never had one growing up and I've never really seen one in use. But it turned out that it was super easy to use, you just add water and cleaner to the tank and go; you go over the rug once with the trigger down, to spread water/cleaner, then a second time without the trigger to rinse/dry. I only hit about half of the rugs in my home, just to see how it went, and then stopped because they all seemed to remain very wet after cleaning. (They've since pretty much dried and I'm assured by the internet that's normal.)

The white patterned carpet above is the cats' favorite place to roll around and shed on, and as you can see, those dark dustbunny looking things around the carpet? That's cat hair and other dirt the cleaner pulled up. Gross but visibly effective.

I got a slightly late start so I had myself on a hard time limit; I started at 7, finished up at 8, and still had half an hour left on A Date With Dateline (they sometimes run a bit long). The cleaning solution definitely adds a certain chemical smell to the air, so I'm running the HVAC's fan and I've added "scented candle or incense" to the shopping list. Which I wanted to do anyway; some people always have such nice smelling houses and scent never seems to stick around in mine, but I've never gone hardcore on Making This Place Smell Nice. (Yes, I promise to be careful about what scents I use, I know diffused scents can harm cats.)

Disposable nitrile glove count: Still just 1!

Hardware store trips: 1.....so far.

[mysecretlittlelibrary]

A Little Goes A Long Way

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Word Count: 2.4k

Warnings: not any real

Genre: fluff

Summary: You accidentally find out that Steve has a praise kink and take full advantage of it.

***

When you first joined the Avengers and moved into the compound you'd say you befriended most of the team pretty quickly, some you were closer to than others of course but still, you'd say they were mostly your friends. Now when it comes to the boys club consisting of two supersoldiers and a mechanically winged man, your friendships with them are surprisingly variable.

Sam, is the friendliest and therefore was the quickest for you to connect to. Bucky was one tough nut to crack but you'd say you've successfully done so. Which leaves Super soldier 2. Steve Rogers. He has this... commitment to professionalism. Not just with you, it's with pretty much everyone on the team besides Bucky which makes sense given their history, and Sam who could probably befriend a brick if he wanted to. It's not something that bothers you really, just something you've observed especially in comparison to your friendship with Sam and Bucky. He's nice and you get along as well as necessary.

You can't prove it yet, but you're sure Sam and Bucky, mostly Sam actually, are making moves to get him to open up around you. For example yesterday, kind of out of nowhere, Steve asked you if you knew how to cook because he was trying to learn and thought you'd be able to help. Why? Because Sam and Bucky 'rave about your cooking'. You've cooked for them like twice and you know Sam can throw down in the kitchen so why wouldn't he offer to help Steve? Instead, he sent him to you, and now you're helping Steve make breakfast.

"Breakfast feels like a very simplistic place to start." Steve says.

"It is simplistic. Consider it a litmus test. We're just gonna do pancakes and eggs and from that, I will figure out where to start with dinner meals and such." You say.

"What do you mean figure out where to start?"

"Well if you can't fry eggs I'm not gonna try and teach you beef wellington or pho in the next 24 hours."

"What's pho?"

"It's a Vietnamese soup, but do you get what I mean?"

"Yes! But I can fry eggs and make pancakes." Steve says with a nod.

"Then show me Stevie." You cross your arms.

"Okay, where's the pancake mix?" Steve looks around the counter.

"We don't have any. You're gonna have to do it from scratch." You smile.

"I've never done that before."

"That's okay. Here's a bowl. I'll walk you through it." You tell him. Flour, eggs, sugar, butter, milk, salt, and baking powder in appropriate proportions are mixed into the bowl with your instruction. You're not really a recipe user which, stresses Steve out just a bit, but you know what you're doing obviously and the batter turns out perfect. One at a time Steve cooks the pancakes, they're all pretty misshapen and a couple are a little burnt but overall they turn out alright. "Okay, time to scramble some eggs." You tell him grabbing another bowl. Steve cracks several eggs into the bowl with salt, pepper, and butter and pours the mixture into the frying pan.

"This I've done before."

"Good, don't burn them." You say with a pat on his arm before you start to clean up the island. A few minutes later, the eggs are done and everything is put away or in the sink to be washed.

"See? Eggs I can do."

"I gotta taste it first Rogers. I've learned not to assume that watching the process can prepare you for the final result." You say putting pancakes and eggs on a plate for yourself.

"I followed your instructions. How bad can it be?" He shrugs. You take a bite of the eggs first and they're as good as they should be.

"The eggs are good." You tell him.

"I smell breakfast!" Sam announces strutting in from the hallway with Bucky trailing behind him.

"Morning boys. Help yourself, there's enough to go around." You say.

"Morning y/n." Bucky says.

"Good morning Miss Thing." Sam winks. "Who made these pancakes they are mad wonky." Sam laughs as he grabs some.

"I did." Steve frowns.

"They might look a little funny but they taste good so I'd say you did a wonderful job Stevie." You say. You miss the way his cheeks tinge pink and the way Sam and Bucky exchange a look.

"Thanks." Steve mutters after clearing his throat. "So, you'll help teach me to cook better?" He asks.

"If you take instruction this well all the time, absolutely." You shrug. "You should eat, the spoils of your labor and all." You tell him and he's quick to make himself a plate.

And so, for weeks, you teach Steve to cook. He makes dinner almost every day to learn new things. Some days it's meals that he can do in under 20 minutes, others you pick more complicated recipes that take a couple of hours and he probably won't make them again unless he's asked to. He does better with some meals than others but he follows your directions. Honestly, better than you expected since he's so used to giving orders and not taking them. For Steve, it's about the reaction. He does like cooking with you definitely but the best part of your teaching is how you praise him every time he does something well. Apparently, your little cheers of 'good job Stevie' and 'you did so well' and whatnot are extremely good motivators.

It took even longer for you to pick up on his desire for compliments but once you did you had every intention of using it to your utmost advantage. Even outside of the kitchen, you start to slip in little approval comments where you see fit just to watch him blush and freeze up. Like tonight, during game night. The whole team is playing charades on two teams, you, Wanda, Vision, Peter, Clint, and Bucky on one while Tony, Natasha, Bruce, Thor, Steve, and Sam make up the other. The other team is up, with Bruce acting out something and everyone is shouting out answers. Eventually, Steve gets the answer, the first one he's gotten right.

"You got it! Well done Stevie!" You say leaning over the coffee table that separates you to ruffle his hair. It's an action that you've found usually results in a seemingly involuntary catlike nudging with his head.

"I'm calling a timeout!" Sam stands up. "You, come with me." Sam says to you.

"What? Why?" You ask but instead of answering Sam grabs your arm, forcing you off the floor and pulling you down the hall. "Hey! Sammy! Use your words!" You snatch your arm away from him.

"You are doing this on purpose!" He points at you with a glare.

"Doing what?" You blink at him.

"You know what I'm talking about." Sam's face scrunches up.

"It's easier to stay on the same page if you're direct." You tell him. Oh what an actor you are.

"You're distracting him!" 

"Distracting who?"

"Don't play dumb with me y/n."

"Don't mince words with me Sammy." You say with a smirk. This rapid-fire back and forth is pretty common for you and Sam so you know he's not seriously angry with you over a game of charades.

"Look I don't know what you did to Steve but he cannot focus with you around! You speak and he's redder than a tomato and ten seconds from giggling like an elementary schooler dealing with his first crush and you are taking advantage of that! Stop taking advantage of it he already sucks at charades."

"I didn't do anything." You shrug.

"I'm not buying it. You know I'm not buying it, right?"

"I'm not selling anything babe." You smile.

"I hate you."

"You don't. But we should get back to the game. Everyone's waiting on us." You turn and head back to join the rest of the team. And you'd better believe you spend the rest of the night taking full advantage of Steve's newly found little weakness.

~*~*~

"So what's the deal with you and Steve?" Natasha asks. You're hanging out in your room and she's tossing grapes into her mouth.

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about the fact that you talk to him like he's your pet. Are you into him or what?"

"I don't treat him like a pet!"

"I don't mean it in the literal sense y/n. But! Not a day goes by that you aren't going 'good job Stevie' or 'that's wonderful' or 'you did so well' or something like that. Why do you do that?"

"Because his reactions are adorable." You shrug.

"Okaaay but- do you like him? Like is there something there? Does he like you?"

"I have no idea if he likes me." You tell her.

"You have no idea? You haven't asked? He blushes whenever you walk into a room." Natasha scoffs.

"I think he just likes the praise."

"Let's test it!"

"Test it how?"

"Well, right now Steve and Bucky are probably in the training room. Let's go down there, and I'll find a way to throw a 'good boy' at him and see how he reacts."

"That one in particular might be a little difficult to throw out casually. Even I rarely do that one. You can probably get away with a good job or well done." You say.

"I'll see what I can do. Let's go." Nat gets up with her bowl of grapes in hand and the two of you head to the training gym to find Bucky and Steve sparring just like Natasha said they'd be.

"Geez don't you two ever take a break?" You scoff and they both stop to greet you.

"Oh hey, guys. What brings you by?" Bucky asks grabbing a towel.

"Steve catch." Natasha says throwing a grape his way. His head snaps out to catch the grape in his mouth with ease.

"Nice one Stevie. Good job." Natasha says.

"Why did you do that?" Steve asks with confusion on his face. No blush, no stuttering.

"Told ya." Natasha looks at you.

"Told ya what?" Bucky chuckles.

"Bucky your turn. Catch." Natasha tosses a grape at him. Bucky catches the grape in his hand and fixes you both with a look. "Why are you tossing fruit at us like dog treats?"

"Testing reflexes based off of a conversation we were having. Thank you for your contribution, now if you'll excuse us, we have others to test." Natasha grabs your hand and pulls you out of the training room. She waits until you're back in your room to say I told you so. "I told you so! Has less to do with the praise and more to do with you. So what're you gonna do about it?"

"We work together Nat." You say.

"So did Tony and Pepper before getting married."

"That was- kind of predatory of him actually."

"Bad example. Wanda and Vision." She offers.

"Vision's basically a sentient computer."

"My point is; working together shouldn't stop you from being happy. Do you like him?"

"Do you think he'll make a move?"

"Absolutely not. You'll have to play the first card. Do you like him?"

"Well, I'm not doing that." You shake your head.

"Why not?"

"Why bother? Things are fine, you don't mess with things that don't need messing with."

"Chicken." Natasha says.

"Worry about your own love life Romanoff." You roll your eyes.

Unfortunately for you, Natasha was not the only person interested in meddling in your affairs, and the other party happens to be much more hands-on than Natasha was. So much so that a couple of weeks after Natasha tried to push for you to make a move, you find yourself all but barricaded in your room with one super soldier.

The incessant knocking at your bedroom door had pulled you, reluctantly, from the book you were reading, thinking there was an emergency only to find Bucky holding Steve hostage behind a smiling Sam.

"I don't think I want to know what the hell is going on here but you did interrupt my reading so you'd better have a good reason." You'd crossed your arms, waiting for someone to speak.

"You two need to talk. I'm sick of watching you dance around it. We all are." Sam told you and Bucky shoved Steve into your room, forcing you out of the doorway for fear of being knocked over.

"Excuse you?!"

"We aren't letting you out until you talk it all out so everyone can stop watching this weird flirting game you've got going." With that, they pulled your door shut, and sure enough, you couldn't open it. You sat in silence with Steve for a few minutes, contemplating your options.

"I'm sorry." He eventually offers awkwardly.

"For what? You didn't lock us in here." You say.

"Not technically but it is my fault we're in this mess."

"How do you figure?" You tilt your head at him curiously.

"I get so- awkward around you. It's to the point where everyone can tell and I'm an adult there's no reason I shouldn't be able to behave normally around you."

"And what constitutes normal? Sam and I bicker, Tony and I throw insults back and forth- we're basically frenemies, Bucky likes to just sit in the same space together, Nat and I mostly gossip, Thor is always just about to crush me, I babysit for Clint, and Peter turns 15-minute stories into 90-minute retellings because his brain is in a million places at once at all times. Maybe your normal with me is blushing whenever I speak."

"You noticed." Steve grimaces.

"I didn't at first but uh- you are not exactly very subtle."

"Well- now what?" He asks.

"Now what indeed." You hum. "What is it, Stevie? Why do you feel so awkward around me? Is it because I do things like ruffle your hair or say good job? Are you just, affection starved?"

"No." He pouts.

"Don't just pout at me use your words." 

"I like you." He says.

"There was that so hard? What are you gonna do about it?" You ask.

"What?" He blinks at you.

"You like me. What are you going to do about that?"

"Depends." He frowns.

"On?" You ask.

"If you like me back."

"And if I do?"

"Then, I want to kiss you." Steve says, albeit a little hesitant.

"Kiss me."

"You like me?"

"Just kiss me." You say. Steve pulls you forward and kisses you. It's soft but there's something intense about it as you drape your arms over his shoulders. Eventually, he pulls away with a content sigh. "Well done Stevie."

"Stop doing that." He groans.

"Doing what?" You step back to look at him.

"Complimenting me like that. It drives me crazy."

"I know, that's why I do it." You say and Steve fixes you with a look as he plots his next move.

"I'm- going to take you to dinner tonight." He says.

"Okay." You nod. It's then that your door swings open and Sam waltzes in.

"See how much nicer it is to just talk about things." He sighs as if he's just stepped into the sun after several hours inside.

"I'll see you at seven." Steve says. "You two are... the absolute worst together. I can't believe you." He practically drags Sam out of the room and then down the hall with Bucky in tow and you chuckle at the trio who you can hear for several minutes down the hallway. Who would've thought things could get here from a couple of compliments in the kitchen. 

***