#other shady business
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A bit of an update on my first datamining post, specifically about the family pictures: It seems like with the new update, when you marry certain NPCs, you can get their family photos added to your album as well. That means you can hang them up in your house, which is so sweet. <3
And having them in the album now means we can get high quality versions of these photos!
Below, in order, are the family photos of: Amirah (not sure if you also get it with Arvio), Catori, Elsie, Fang, Heidi, Logan, Owen, and Qi. All the filenames are in the format "Photo_Marriage_<NPC>_<photo #>".
#my time at sandrock#mtas#other shady business#mtas amirah#mtas catori#mtas elsie#mtas fang#mtas heidi#mtas logan#mtas owen#mtas qi
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Well daggumit now you've got me havin The Thoughts(TM) too
I wonder if Grace's interest in archeology was what pushed her towards the political sphere in the first place. I'd imagine growing up in the wake of the literal apocalypse (and post-apocalypse) would definitely influence her outlook on the world and humanity at large. When she was younger she looked at all these giant ruins around her and wondered about the people living there and how they lived their lives and how it all went to shit. Maybe she got emotional thinking about how all these ordinary people and their stories were just wiped out by the calamity without so much as a trace (def not me projecting the emotions i get when i look at ancient ruins irl and think too hard nope nope nope nope). And because of that she turned to politics, to maybe hopefully steer modern day society to a better future. But of course, politics is politics, so she's def unhappy with the position she's wedged in
I wonder if this whole deal is how she and Qi become stronger friends. Coming to a real understanding yk. [Assuming all the HCs we've been tossin out there are real] Both of them have lofty, if vague ambitions/ideals, have a desire to feel seen/recognized/remembered, and harbor no small amt of resentment to where they came from/where they were employed. Maybe one day one of them asks the other about where they came from and that's how the conversation starts? (They go back to being dork losers the very next day but they never forget)
...fuck it, I'm adding another WIP to my writing folder aaaaaaaa
OH AND ALSO REALLY GREAT COMIC LIKE ALWAYS THE ART AND WRITING ARE SUPER GOODDDD
OKAY this is a long one but I dont see people talk about Grace and I deeply adore her shes my second favorite (almost tied with first (Qi) tbh) and deserves more love.
Heres the line that I pretty much based this on:
When I fist saw that line I was like oh thats interesting but then I learned about what she was and I was like OH MY GOD SHES TALKING ABOUT HERSELF. Because what are the chances she just happens to have a sister with a very similar job as her, and the wouldnt you get sick of a life like that implies she doesnt like her job even if she does actually have a sister.
(Also this line from her engagement letter)
NOW THINGS THAT I IMPLY THAT ARE NOT CERTAIN BUT ARE TRUE TO ME (you do not have to read this to understand anything I just want to talk about her):
She genuinely is interested in archeology. Her collecting various things for archeolgy could have just been her making herself seem more convincing, but she does genuinely seem very informed on the topic. AGAIN, could be her being more convincing, but I wouldnt doubt if she actually majored in it (or at least took a few classes) because it would make sense to play a character with something youre kind of knowlegable about, and she seems to know quite a bit about specific school practices and genuinely be opinionated on archeology's place in the world. Also, her likes indicate this is something shes genuinely interested in and passionate about. THE DIGGING HOLES IN THE GARDEN THING ALSO IS NOT MADE UP, and she says "Old habits die hard I guess", implying (at least to me) that she did it for similar reasons or maybe that she found something that inspired her to be interested in archeology.
She definetly seems to not really have faith in the system shes in, or at least doubt in it. Im not saying shes radical or anything (IF WE ARE GETTING SPECIFIC (Using current day terms) she seems reasonably moderate, pretty center left yk but I wouldnt be surprised if she believed in more socialist policies and shes clearly informed in whats going on, partially because of her job and also because I think being informed is important to her) and she still does work for the government, but she seems to not really be completely content with it. I dont really have any concrete proof for that besides this line which is really just how she thinks:
NOW she says she wasnt really involved in politics, which I think at the time shes saying this is true. I wouldnt be surprised if she was more involved when she was younger, but I think for the most part she has ideas. She really likes to think (also proved by this line, I think she thinks a lot of thoughts in a similar vein but for the most part doesnt share them because they dont really fit her brand) and I feel like that would translate more into thinking more of ideals than actual politics, especially since she feels like people who are noble and want to make a difference cannot under the current system.
I feel like there were more lines in quests and what not with her being more disillusioned but full disclosure this could entirely be an illlusion of the mind palace.
Since she also mentions specifically making a difference, I also decided to extrapolate that was strongly about her as well. Wanting to make a difference being attatched to her choosing the job is also something not said at all, but something I decided to connect because it makes sm sense to me
I THINK THATS ALL. But a lot of this is largely headcanon since we dont have that much info on her (Character development is still low, therefore I cry and sob and make things up completely BECAUSE ITS FUN.)
please think about her more so i dont have to make another 12 page kind of comic, mostly illustrated writing.
#i'd like to say more but...nda#so many wips not enough time T_T#also dont think i didn't catch Grace Attorney there#thank u very much op#other shady business
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bout time i posted the og bc in the immortal words of yahtzee croshaw shit's about to get FUCKY!
also i like him :)
#redacted asmr#redacted audio#art#illustration#redacted vincent#redactedverse#this man is my roman empire#i would absolutely be upset if i were in his position like you cant just Not Tell someone that theyve been yoinked into a peudo family#thats real keen on murder and fraud and other things#i feel like theres no right answer here though#like i completely 100% understand where william is coming from on this one#porter is right#william is keeping vincent in the dark because he genuinely cares about him#and acknowledges (correctly) that turning him took away literally all of his agency basically forever#he's trying to do good by a stranger who he made a life altering decision on the behalf of#and it was a selfish one#yes he saved vincent's life but only by forcing him to throw away his old one#and in keeping vincent entirely out of shady clan business william is doing the best he can to give vincent a normalish afterlife#THAT SAID#you coulda told him#like yeah 20 year olds aren't known for making good rational judgements but this all could've been avoided#if william just sat him down and went look. this is what we're up to. i believe it's a necessary evil. you don't have to participate#but this is something you're tied to now based on a snap decision i made#i acknowledge that that was wrong and hope you can forgive me someday but if not that's okay#would it suck? PROBABLY! but vincent finding out through porter of all people is definitely worse#not to mention him feeling like he's the ONLY person who doesn't know and looked like an idiot defending the house at the summit#aw man i wrote another essay again
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One thing I really love but that really kills me about the murderous rampage sequence is that I have litteraly so many questions about it that will go unanswered. Like I get that's the whole point but where was Mrs. Eom while the boys massacred Jongwoo and his friend? Was Moonjo just cheering in the background while Jongwoo got rid of the other residents? Where were the others while Jongwoo killed them one by one, like were Mrs. Eom and the twin just taking a nap before getting killed? I like to imagine that during each murder, the people that aren't getting killed are in a room playing red light green light or something
#strangers from hell#hell is other people#yoon jongwoo#seo moonjo#mrs. eom#no but honestly i can imagine moonjo just taking pics of jongwoo like 'you're doing great honey 👍'#also were the downstairs neighbours sleeping or were they all gotten rid of#actually those downstairs neighbours probably just survived by minding their business#oh yeah that's just the creepy landlady going with a tupperware of meat in the basement. nothing shady here#this is why i believe in a third version of the murderous rampage#you're telling me everyone is minding their own business till they get killed? playing cards?#the lack of moonjo in the whole 'jongwoo killed everyone' scenario makes no sense u know that fucker would be cackling in a corner somewhere
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Something I really find interesting about Don E is that he a) seems relatively squeamish about too much blood and violence happening in front of him considering the line of work he is in, like that's an acting choice that comes up on several occasions b) he also seems really into watching Blaine torment and generally mess with people (especially psychologically) and it makes him so weird.
like, Don in the "zombies tearing up a prison bus" scene:
Drake's gutshot scene
Chief's death
but also:
you even have that scene where he specifically drags Tanner back to Blaine's office in hopes of ganging up on the poor guy
also I'm going to argue that this scene - also an example of this dynamic between them
I don't really have a conclusion to any of this other than -
but also you get scene like the one where they're torturing Gabriel for the utopium recipe where he's clearly having a good time but also is visibly wincing everytime they beat Gabriel -
#I hit the maximum number of images I can add which sucks because I wanted to get into the episode where Major and Don E kidnap Sloane#I also went back to check out the episode where Bader gets mauled and Don E looks horrified then too (it stands out because for once -#so does Blaine)#izombie#don e#blaine debeers#fandom#long post#I hope they're gnawing on each other's heart in that well#there is also the episode in season 3 where he comes to Shady Plots to boast to Blaine about teaming up with Angus and ruining his business#but despite apparently being down with killing Blaine (actually he kind of has to bc we know he expects Blaine to kill him for this and#well...that's pretty realistic) - Don E doesn't actually stay for the deed.#There is also the fact that Don E has a pretty low body count in comparision and he just...looks very impassive when shooting Big Fish#but not nonchalant in the way Blaine often is#remember when Don E captured Major and put a giant red bow around the body bag before delivering him to Blaine to be tortured#fun times
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Till this day I never understand why people hated Very Special Blossom. Its a good insight on who she is and how she’s willing to commit a crime if it’ll get her ahead, even the perfect leader girl can’t resist a temptation, it makes her less bland.
Is that why they hate it? Because she’s supposed to be like the perfect leader or something? That’s so stupid. These are probably the same people who whine and moan about Mary Sues or something, too. Like pick a lane! You either want a perfect character or you want a flawed one! 😩
…now that I think about it, there’s key difference between a character who is a perfectionist and is perfect. Maybe these people don’t get the difference.
#and EXACTLY this is another reason why I love Blossom#if it makes her look like the goodest good girl#you better believe she might actually stoop to some shady stuff to look that way 😆#I mean SHE LIED TO OLD PEOPLE in the hopes of pursuing goodness#so she wouldn’t look like a monster for beating up old people#and then she actually DID look like a monster because the old people fought each other and all got hurt lmao#she also started her own crimefighting business in a chapter book to look older and more mature than Buttercup and Bubbles#because they were draggin’ her down baby#I LOVE HER#being the goodest good girl who ever did good is…… her temptation#blossom#powerpuff girls
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Aunlin's favorite demon is her incubus, Lurzeal. Or "Lurzy" as she likes to call him, much to his endless dismay.
Also to his deepest shame, he was one of the first demons Aunlin subjugated to her will. When she first started... "appropriating" tomes of fel knowledge and forbidden magic from warlocks who no longer needed them. (I.E. she used her adoptive goblin family's connections to send hit squads to homes of people suspected to be warlocks, so she could leisurely remove any incriminating books before the authorities arrived)
For a being as long-lived and cruel as him, the thought of being enslaved by such a young upstart, a troll not even interested in amassing power except to line her pocketbook, is the gravest insult. The fact she had almost no training and no reverence for the raw power she commanded enraged him. And yet, the fury and ambition behind her eyes was enough to bind him to her soul.
But beyond all that, perhaps the most humiliating thing about being enslaved to Aunlin Boltwrench is how she utilizes him. Not to slay her enemies in a beautiful dance of slaughter, nor even to seduce people to do her dark bidding. No, he is most commonly summoned to appear as eye candy to her sales pitches. A beautiful demonic face to act as a billboard for her demon labor services.
And when she summons him, it's not through elaborate rituals that appease his vanity and power. No, she reaches her hand over her shoulder and casually tears open a portal to the twisting nether, blindly grabs his collar and yanks him through. Every time he is bought into the material plane, it's a tumble of undignified choking and embarrassment.
And yet, even worse than being enslaved to Aunlin is the thought of being freed from her clutches. The moment he is no longer her servant, he will inevitably run across fellow sayaad who would not hesitate to share their opinion on his shameful bindings, and the years spent under the control of someone like Aunlin.
#warcraft#aunlin boltwrench#she's a warlock but she's mostly a small business owner you see#you won't find her at any shady gatherings or demon cathedrals. unless she can take something valuable to improve her business model#as you can imagine many of aunlin's other demons feel similarly to being enslaved by her
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Non-transferable! You are so right!
Here's an idea, just go with me here...
What if, instead of getting out for overcrowding, Mickey really gets out of jail (juvie) because of Ralph.
ACGGGH
The possibilities of this idea is making me look at shit differently
oh auds, i am going with you.
the thought of baby mickey having this guardian angel bail bondsman? ACGGGH is sooo right!
this dude's family has been bailing out milkoviches for generations. he's given up on the lot of them but something about mickey is different. he doesn't deserve to get dragged into the mess he was born in to. he deserves a shot at getting out. so he secretly bails mickey out whenever he can (wouldn't want the others to know and come looking for favors).
he lost track of mickey when he fucked off to mexico. always wondered what happened to the kid. disappointed he wasn't able to make more a difference. and was so happy when he finally came back, all happy and settled down. was honored to be invited to the wedding and cheered the loudest. ian's all "who the fuck is that guy" and mickey's just like "meh, just an old family friend" but makes sure to stop by table for a big ole hug.
#alright. so who's gonna write it?#alternate outsider pov. larry the bail bondsman.#family has been the in business for generations.#they're a bit shady. larry hates it.#scamming the good guys. helping the bad guys.#mickey's his secret little project that makes him finally feed good about the business again. like he's helping.#sparks him to keep training in the business so he can eventually take it over. run it right.#neither of them ever realizing the whole effect they had on the other's life.#i am a larry fan now. k thanks.
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do you ever feel yourself on the edge of a depressive crying session and you’re trying so hard not to give in
#oh my god. it has not been an academically productive week and i don’t know what’s wrong with me#i’m really tired of living far away from my undergrad friends…..#my friend from cali was supposed to visit but i’m not sure if he’ll be able to and i know he’s able to hang out with our other friends#bc they all live in toronto and i’m so far away…..#ughhhhhhhh . the fomo is actually going to break my heart#and i’m visiting home this weekend and i was excited to see my other friend who was in europe this summer#but she’s being weird about making plans and doesn’t seem that enthused. and my parents want to take a day trip on sunday#so they’re busy doing things they need to do on this day trip and ik they’re not gonna pay attention to me…#and i skipped movie night with local friends today bc i needed to do work and then i didn’t even do that work bc i’m lazy and sad 😔#not even near my period idk what’s going on with me#shadi stuff
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can I get one discourse post I think that merch in this fandom has always been a little fucked like since the beginning there's never really been a GOOD merch company all of them have had issues. it's just that youtooz and revolt are both companies that multiple creators have publicly taken issue with and that fans have been complaining about for YEARS whereas dreambranding has been relatively transparent about the issues that they've had from pricing to shipping. yeah dreambranding designs were kind of shit for a while especially compared to revolt, but when it comes to customer service and actually getting the merch to people, dreambranding bodies. yeah dreambranding had that one issue with an artist about a stolen design (which. for the record is something I've seen variations of at walmart), but youtooz have been called out again and again for either stealing designs or horrifically underpaying the people whose designs they use. idk I just think that the throwing stones in a glass house metaphor is incredibly useful here in that regard and anyone saying dreambranding is bad compared to youtooz and revolt should just. stop talking
#it's just that in all the ways that matter dreambranding has consistently shown up every other merch company I've encountered here#like that's not even mentioning the other shady business practices of the two companies compared to dreambranding LOL!#discourse#negative#SORRY okay I'm done I just wanted to get that out back to no discourse
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My sister’s graduation day 😤 let’s go 👏🏽
#gosh it’s gonna be a long day and I’m running on two hours of sleep again#i only get the chance to work at night because I don’t have ✨privacy✨#and I’ve been going to bed late and waking up even more tired than usual and my mom’s been scolding me for it#and now I’ve had to tell her what I’m doing and I feel like I just gave another piece of me away again#everything I am everything I do has to be for other people#im so tired when will I give my last piece away 🥹#this was to make ME proud of ME I was doing it for myself and now I feel like it’s for her#and then she’s going to tell my dad and now it’s for him too#also I can’t even cry about it because she HAS to know why I’m upset#she keeps glancing up at me and talking to me in bits#all I have left is my emotions 🥹#anyhow sorry to start the day off so gloomy and depressing I have literally nothing to be sad about I’m very privileged#sorry you guys see me being a baby constantly 🥺 I really do have a good life and shouldn’t be complaining#here’s to a better day for us all#melifails#now i feel like a jerk subjecting you all to this😭 sorry sorry let’s move on#im gonna be a busy bee hopefully I can squeeze in a time for a nap#😭 I don’t waaaaaannnnnaaa sit for hours in the California heat MAYBE with the sun hitting us in the face#our football field is NOT kind in this way#hopefully my sister gets the shady side but even then the sun will hit us in the face eventually just not as long#im !!! excited!!!! I bought ice cream for today 👏🏽 I originally bought choco chip and minto moose tracks?? my sister loves mint flavor#so I bought mint Oreos too so she can eat them with her ice cream 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽#i assume we’re getting take out of some sort so that; ice cream; and uuuuuuu I don’t remember anything else I bought; my best friend did#bring us snacks yesterday!!! pretzels and cookies!!! so that!!!#okay brain no work no more I gotta get dressed love you muah muah muah
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Qi and names
A really, really random thing I've been noticing as I'm doing a second playthrough: Qi almost never calls anyone by just their name. Unless he's talking directly to someone, he almost always uses a title or a stand-in...nickname? Epithet? Not sure what to call it.
[VERY long post below, contains some act 2 and mild act 3 spoilers]
Grace: The frycook
Elsie: The rancher's daughter/ranch girl
[pardon the text mine, i don't have screenshots of some of the act 3 quotes and it's not up on the wiki yet]
Catori: The entrepreneur
Justice: The sheriff
Also combined with Unsuur: The lawmen
Pen: The homunculus man
Yan: "Your director"
X: The bird
Bronco the Kid: "The person seeking Logan"
Pablo: "Our local barber"
Here are the ones with titles:
Trudy: Mayor Trudy (but also sometimes just "Mayor" or even "Trudy")
Fang: Dr. Fang
Nia: Assistant Nia
You/the builder: Earlier in the game/at lower relationship levels, he'll only call you "Builder". But later on, he'll always use your builder's name.
(at Buddy level)
(at Good Friend level)
And last but not least, those who Qi always refers to by name:
Mint (but he also calls him Sleepyhead, of course)
Zeke
Logan
Matilda (though she's only ever referred to once and she's been de facto stripped of her minister title at this point, so I'll gloss over her)
So uh...what's the takeaway? Well, I think it's an insight to Qi's idea of respect. All the people in the first section have nicknames, which are mostly light jabs at their character/job.
Contrast to the people in the second and third sections. If they have an established title of authority, he'll use it. And for those he refers to by name directly, it's someone he personally respects. Think about it:
Trudy is the mayor, the highest authority in town (and also probably singlehandedly responsible for his funding lol)
Qi's no quiet admirer of Fang's work, as shown by their few interactions
He respects Zeke as a fellow man of science, and a very persistent one at that
Nia is part of academia, advised by a reputable professor
Mint is obvious; he's his closest friend
And you! Take another look at his dialogue with you as it progresses through the main quest, especially after you build the mobile suit. He comes to respect you and your work.
Logan is an interesting exception, but I picked the above quote for a reason. I think he knows straight off the bat that the Logan situation is more complicated than other people say, and he sympathizes with him a little bit (even though he'll promptly hole himself up again and keep working after any Logan event happens).
I made another very long post a while back that touched on why Qi insists on being called "Director" all the time, and I think that's only compounded by this. It's a golden rule type situation, yk? You respect his titles, work, and time, and he'll do the same to you.
ETA: you could also interpret this as Qi viewing people as their occupations first. He's not the most sociable person in town, and he'd like to keep it that way (maybe). So he keeps a veneer of over-professionalism on by default.
#i wrote this instead of doing my stats hw#on this episode of 'shady talks about qi for way too long'...#a dissertation!!#semi-relevant tangent: i also have a very obscure hc that qi only ever goes by his last name#heng is technically his first name but its nowhere to be found in the english version probably for localization reasons#so this is my in universe explanation as to why#he just felt more comfortable with using his last name#and he probably uses it as a bit of a social buffer#and 'director qi' sounds way more authoritative than 'director heng'#okay ill go to bed now#thank you for indulging in my blorbo thoughts once more#my time at sandrock#mtas qi#other shady business#long post
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lmao these are great
I think it’d be even funnier if Vega 5 U didn’t even have a football team bc how the hell are you supposed to make a football field on a spaceship?? And funny you mention basketball, bc Mint is supposed to like playing basketball! It was only mentioned in like a single line of dialogue from MTaP since his character design was based on a basketball manga or smthn. Right after they have that argument Qi probably ran straight to the telegraph and was like “MINT. DOES ATARA HAVE A BAD BASKETBALL TEAM. THIS IS IMPORTANT. REPLY ASAP.” And Mint is just like “Uhhhhh idk, I think they’re okay?? Why???” By the time that Qi finally finds an Atara U sport to dunk on (HAH) like a week has passed already and Grace pretends she forgot about the whole deal to make him look dumb.
I like to think they both lose the cooking competition for completely different reasons. Qi burns everything in pans/woks bc no one told him he has to add oil/butter/etc (“An omelette is supposed to consist solely of EGG, yes?? What sense does it make to add other ingredients???”) Meanwhile Grace is too busy shit talking Qi and forgets to pay attention so she burns it too, plus she already has no clue to season stuff. So both of them end up with plates of pure carcinogens except Grace’s has some salt and sand on them lmao. And then Owen might poke his head in and VERY politely offer to give them a quick lesson but they both yell “NO” and just keep burning all his eggs.
Post-duvos Grace and Qi are so funny bcuz they’re both so smart but Ik they’ll get invested in the dumbest shit to prove they’re better than the other one. I just feel like they get in the stupidest arguments they wouldn’t get in with anyone else.
Qi, who normally would not give two shits about his alma matter, would definitely pull out “Hm. It seems my university is superior in many respects including our football team” (he has no idea how good the football team is) and Grace, who also couldn’t care less, pulls out a “YEAH? WELL OUR BASKETBALL TEAM WIPED THE FLOOR WITH YOURS.” (She also has no idea how good any of the sports teams were.)
Another silly idea I have floating around in my head is Qi going to the blue moon saloon to get a tea and grace is just like “Smh ofc it’s a Friday night and you’re drinking tea” and Qi, who normally would respond with a “yes and what’s wrong with that?” Takes the bait and responds with a “and what would you rather I drink?” And they get into a drinking competition bcuz Grace is under the impression Qi can’t hold his liquor (he cannot but she barely can either.) (Qi wakes up with the stupidest hangover pissed off that he fell for her trick and Grace wakes up with a bit less of a hangover but equally as stupid and upset that she had a genuinely intellectually stimulating conversation with Qi about Gungham)
I also think it would be silly if they did a cooking competition where both of them lose because neither of them can cook a good omelette. Grace thinks hers have improved enough to at least beat Qi who doesn’t cook. They both almost burn down the kitchen.
I just think they egg eachother on in such a specific way where they just can’t resist. They bring the most spiteful parts out of eachother. They get eachother in such a personal way that they know all the buttons to push. And despite it always going badly it’s so fun for them, especially Grace.
I feel like they frequently have battles of wits that neither of them have had for a while and it’s so nice to have someone who you feel you can go back and forth with who you’re more or less equals with.
I also have the funniest idea of Trudy trying to make them get along better post-duvos by assigning Grace as Qis assistant for like a week and they both know this is an AWFUL decision. And it is bcuz they both need too much control. So naturally, they fight over every conclusion reached until a great solution to the problem arises and it’s just a moment where both of them try to disprove eachother but realize neither of them can and every statement that ends in them all agreeing causes more and more excitement until they both decide they’ve finally figured it out. it’s the most excited they’ve both felt in a while over something that really is not a big discovery and is really just them solving a minor problem.
#heehee silly#other shady business#i imagine if the builder walked in on them bickering in the research center itd be like that waffle house fight vine lol#“can i get a diagram? can i PLEASE get a diagram—”
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You can use black/green tea as an alternative for coffee. If not, I take Adderall but I don't know if ya have it
I'm aware, but thank you! I generally prefer coffee over tea and also it works slightly better for me, so it's on a case by case basis. I think tea kicks in later but stays for longer? Anyhow.
Also Adderall is literally fucking illegal where I live I hate it here haha
#jay gets asks.txt#jay rambles about life.txt#it's not illegal enough that it'll get your fined or arrested but the stores won't sell it as it has no registration status#so it's very shady business for Adderall and all the other stimulants#you can still get it - from backdoor providers that sneak it in from Europe mostly. or under the counter if you're lucky#but as you can imagine it's not exactly cheap or accessible#so caffeine it is unfortunately
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He won't leave my fucking friends alone.
#tales from diana#sorry this is about that bad friend i have to break up w that ive posted abt on and off the past couple weeks/months maybe#i still have to send him that final 'i dont wanna speak to you ever again'#ive been fucking busy ok. my summer has been full of family events and obligations#i have one brother getting married and the other having a baby!!! i have a LIFE and SHIT TO DO and PPL TO BE THERE FOR other than YOU!!!#i havent spoken to him in over 2 months too and he knows it's bc i don't want to#he's so difficult bc you can't fucking tell him the truth. you can't!!! he can't handle it!!! do you know how hard it is to handle???#the things i have to do to cut him off. because he doesn't respect normal fucking boundaries. make ME feel like im in the wrong#like im the shady person and the liar.#i can't drift from him bc hell pull me back#i can't communicate w him bc he won't hear anything i have to say he'll just turn it around & make it abt himself.#he literally does not understand ppl having motivations to do things that don't relate to him#and he has no sympathy for what he does to other ppl. nothing but self-pity for how they don't like him anymore.#if he dealt w someone who put him through half of what he put ME through. no he couldn't actually.#i only allowed him to manipulate me for so long because i cared abt him. who i thought he was.#and he just point blank period doesn't care about other ppl. so he could never go through what ive gone through w him.#i feel like all this friend breakup has proven to me is that im actually a good person and it can be used against me by ppl who arent#some fucking lesson i needed to learn huh?#i hate feeling as negatively towards anyone as i do towards him. it's so hard for me not to have at least#a little spark of hope deep down for everyone. even ppl ive removed from my life before. i dont HATE them#theyve disappointed me or insulted me or mistreated me but at least their motivations seemed simple and clear#and MOST of them seemed to understand SOMEWHAT that they were in the wrong#even if they don't admit it to me or still find an excuse to hate me. whatever#i can see them as ppl who might feel remorse someday and grow from it#i do not see it in this guy. bc if you have a problem w him he'll only make it 20 times worse.#he's so selfish it genuinely baffles me to think about it. and he's one of the least honest ppl ive ever known.#he'll never see the error of his ways. i do not believe he has that capacity.#and will i say none of this to him? no#im just going to say thanks for leaving me alone these past couple months. it's been good for me.#i don't think i can continue our friendship anymore for my own sake.
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ahoy ! guess who almost died today x.x
#⚰️#🧸#w // violence#went for groceries to a not-so-nice area and walked by some people doing shady business in an alley#i didn't really look at them and nothing happened so i just kept walking and made it to the next block before the shots began#(probably a deal went wrong or a rival showing up or whatever. idk)#anyway. i hid in the nearby library with the idea of leaving soon and that's when some random lady pointed out i was bleeding on my arm#it's just a very superficial graze and it hurts a lot but it's not even bleeding anymore#but yeah. almost got shot and / or died buying cookies for my sick brother (and other stuff of course)#so that's how my day went... how about you lads ?#(i'm fine btw. currently buried under soft blankies and with four plushies. it is over 5 am though. and i have to wake up at 7:30 x.x )
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