#other people have put them in better written essays than i'll have for you off the cuff

[ioannemos]

woke up to 99+ notifications bc someone got hold of one of my leverage posts again

hello people who followed me! please note the 'Bible-believing Christian' in my blog description :) i know i have the joy candle post pinned rn but that might not be enough warning. i really do believe that abortion is murder, sex should be between a man and a woman within the bounds of marriage, and you cannot change your gender and anyone who tells you differently is selling something

if anyone hasn't immediately unfollowed and blocked me, hello! let's talk. inbox is always open

[sneezypeasy]

Why I Deliberately Avoided the "Colonizer" Argument in my Zutara Thesis - and Why I'll Continue to Avoid it Forever

This is a question that occasionally comes up under my Zutara video essay, because somehow in 2 hours worth of content I still didn't manage to address everything (lol.) But this argument specifically is one I made a point of avoiding entirely, and there are some slightly complicated reasons behind that. I figure I'll write them all out here.

From a surface-level perspective, Zuko's whole arc, his raison d'etre, is to be a de-colonizer. Zuko's redemption arc is kinda all about being a de-colonizer, and his redemption arc is probably like the most talked about plot point of ATLA, so from a basic media literacy standpoint, the whole argument is unsound in the first place, and on that basis alone I find it childish to even entertain as an argument worth engaging with, to be honest.

(At least one person in my comments pointed out that if any ship's "political implications" are problematic in some way, it really ought to be Maiko, as Mai herself is never shown or suggested to be a strong candidate for being a de-colonizing co-ruler alongside Zuko. If anything her attitudes towards lording over servants/underlings would make her… a less than suitable choice for this role, but I digress.)

But the reason I avoided rebutting this particular argument in my video goes deeper than that. From what I've observed of fandom discourse, I find that the colonizer argument is usually an attempt to smear the ship as "problematic" - i.e., this ship is an immoral dynamic, which would make it problematic to depict as canon (and by extension, if you ship it regardless, you're probably problematic yourself.)

And here is where I end up taking a stand that differentiates me from the more authoritarian sectors of fandom.

I'm not here to be the fandom morality police. When it comes to lit crit, I'm really just here to talk about good vs. bad writing. (And when I say "good", I mean structurally sound, thematically cohesive, etc; works that are well-written - I don't mean works that are morally virtuous. More on this in a minute.) So the whole colonizer angle isn't something I'm interested in discussing, for the same reason that I actually avoided discussing Katara "mothering" Aang or the "problematic" aspects of the Kataang ship (such as how he kissed her twice without her consent). My whole entire sections on "Kataang bad" or "Maiko bad" in my 2 hour video was specifically, "how are they written in a way that did a disservice to the story", and "how making them false leads would have created valuable meaning". I deliberately avoided making an argument that consisted purely of, "here's how Kataang/Maiko toxic and Zutara wholesome, hence Zutara superiority, the end".

Why am I not willing to be the fandom morality police? Two reasons:

I don't really have a refined take on these subjects anyway. Unless a piece of literature or art happens to touch on a particular issue that resonates with me personally, the moral value of art is something that doesn't usually spark my interest, so I rarely have much to say on it to begin with. On the whole "colonizer ship" subject specifically, other people who have more passion and knowledge than me on the topic can (and have) put their arguments into words far better than I ever could. I'm more than happy to defer to their take(s), because honestly, they can do these subjects justice in a way I can't. Passing the mic over to someone else is the most responsible thing I can do here, lol. But more importantly:

I reject the conflation of literary merit with moral virtue. It is my opinion that a good story well-told is not always, and does not have to be, a story free from moral vices/questionable themes. In my opinion, there are good problematic stories and bad "pure" stories and literally everything in between. To go one step further, I believe that there are ways that a romance can come off "icky", and then there are ways that it might actually be bad for the story, and meming/shitposting aside, the fact that these two things don't always neatly align is not only a truth I recognise about art but also one of those truths that makes art incredibly interesting to me! So on the one hand, I don't think it is either fair or accurate to conflate literary "goodness" with moral "goodness". On a more serious note, I not only find this type of conflation unfair/inaccurate, I also find it potentially dangerous - and this is why I am really critical of this mindset beyond just disagreeing with it factually. What I see is that people who espouse this rhetoric tend to encourage (or even personally engage in) wilful blindness one way or the other, because ultimately, viewing art through these lens ends up boxing all art into either "morally permissible" or "morally impermissible" categories, and shames anyone enjoying art in the "morally impermissible" box. Unfortunately, I see a lot of people responding to this by A) making excuses for art that they guiltily love despite its problematic elements and/or B) denying the value of any art that they are unable to defend as free from moral wickedness.

Now, I'm not saying that media shouldn't be critiqued on its moral virtue. I actually think morally critiquing art has its place, and assuming it's being done in good faith, it absolutely should be done, and probably even more often than it is now.

Because here's the truth: Sometimes, a story can be really good. Sometimes, you can have a genuinely amazing story with well developed characters and powerful themes that resonate deeply with anyone who reads it. Sometimes, a story can be all of these things - and still be problematic.*

(Or, sometimes a story can be all of those things, and still be written by a problematic author.)

That's why I say, when people conflate moral art with good art, they become blind to the possibility that the art they like being potentially immoral (or vice versa). If only "bad art" is immoral, how can the art that tells the story hitting all the right beats and with perfect rhythm and emotional depth, be ever problematic?

(And how can the art I love, be ever problematic?)

This is why I reject the idea that literary merit = moral virtue (or vice versa) - because I do care about holding art accountable. Even the art that is "good art". Actually, especially the art that is "good art". Especially the art that is well loved and respected and appreciated. The failure to distinguish literary critique from moral critique bothers me on a personal level because I think that conflating the two results in the detriment of both - the latter being the most concerning to me, actually.

So while I respect the inherent value of moral criticism, I'm really not a fan of any argument that presents moral criticism as equivalent to literary criticism, and I will call that out when I see it. And from what I've observed, a lot of the "but Zutara is a colonizer ship" tries to do exactly that, which is why I find it a dishonest and frankly harmful media analysis framework to begin with.

But even when it is done in good faith, moral criticism of art is also just something I personally am neither interested nor good at talking about, and I prefer to talk about the things that I am interested and good at talking about.

(And some people are genuinely good at tackling the moral side of things! I mean, I for one really enjoyed Lindsay Ellis's take on Rent contextualising it within the broader political landscape at the time to show how it's not the progressive queer story it might otherwise appear to be. Moral critique has value, and has its place, and there are definitely circumstances where it can lead to societal progress. Just because I'm not personally interested in addressing it doesn't mean nobody else can do it let alone that nobody else should do it, but also, just because it can and should be done, doesn't mean that it's the only "one true way" to approach lit crit by anyone ever. You know, sometimes... two things… can be true… at once?)

Anyway, if anyone reading this far has recognised that this is basically a variant of the proship vs. antiship debate, you're right, it is. And on that note, I'm just going to leave some links here. I've said about as much as I'm willing/able to say on this subject, but in case anyone is interested in delving deeper into the philosophy behind my convictions, including why I believe leftist authoritarian rhetoric is harmful, and why the whole "but it would be problematic in real life" is an anti-ship argument that doesn't always hold up to scrutiny, I highly recommend these posts/threads:

In general this blog is pretty solid; I agree with almost all of their takes - though they focus more specifically on fanfic/fanart than mainstream media, and I think quite a lot of their arguments are at least somewhat appropriate to extrapolate to mainstream media as well.

I also strongly recommend Bob Altemeyer's book "The Authoritarians" which the author, a verified giga chad, actually made free to download as a pdf, here. His work focuses primarily on right-wing authoritarians, but a lot of his research and conclusions are, you guessed it, applicable to left-wing authoritarians also.

And if you're an anti yourself, welp, you won't find support from me here. This is not an anti-ship safe space, sorrynotsorry 👆

In conclusion, honestly any "but Zutara is problematic" argument is one I'm likely to consider unsound to begin with, let alone the "Zutara is a colonizer ship" argument - but even if it wasn't, it's not something I'm interested in discussing, even if I recognise there are contexts where these discussions have value. I resent the idea that just because I have refined opinions on one aspect of a discussion means I must have (and be willing to preach) refined opinions on all aspects of said discussion. (I don't mean to sound reproachful here - actually the vast majority of the comments I get on my video/tumblr are really sweet and respectful, but I do get a handful of silly comments here and there and I'm at the point where I do feel like this is something worth saying.) Anyway, I'm quite happy to defer to other analysts who have the passion and knowledge to give complicated topics the justice they deserve. All I request is that care is taken not to conflate literary criticism with moral criticism to the detriment of both - and I think it's important to acknowledge when that is indeed happening. And respectfully, don't expect me to give my own take on the matter when other people are already willing and able to put their thoughts into words so much better than me. Peace ✌

*P.S. This works for real life too, by the way. There are people out there who are genuinely not only charming and likeable, but also generous, charitable and warm to the vast majority of the people they know. They may also be amazing at their work, and if they have a job that involves saving lives like firefighting or surgery or w.e, they may even be the reason dozens of people are still alive today. They may honestly do a lot of things you'd have to concede are "good" deeds.

They may be all of these things, and still be someone's abuser. 🙃

Two things can be true at once. It's important never to forget that.

[emiliosandozsequence]

Tell us about sjm. Spill the tea.

oh man there really is SOOO very much of it that idk how i'll fit all into one response, but i'll do my best 🫡

so sjm or sarah j maas is a very popular fantasy writer (she is the origin of 'feminist' romantasy as a genre because her writing has just been THAT influential (in some good ways, but mostly in bad ones for reasons i'll get to in a minute). she's jewish and has white skin, blonde hair, and blue eyes (this also is relevant i promise).

anyway, despite her writing being so influential it...is really not that good (it has the potential to be tho which is one of the (many) reasons why reading her stuff is so frustrating) and she has a HUUUGE problem with putting her biases in her writing, in particular her racism, misogyny, and ableism.

her racism is at a level that i truly find unbelievable. in every book of hers, every character that is seen as good/smart/beautiful/brave, is a main character, or, at the very least, starts out that way in the story and doesn't have a redemption arc later after the narrative has already taught you to hate her (because it's always female characters this is done with too), has fair hair and light colored eyes (and almost always light skin too); on the opposite end of the spectrum, every single (female) character that either is in the story for not very long, isn't a main character, starts out a bad or undesirable person in some manner, or isn't considered good/smart/beautiful/brave has dark hair, eyes, and/or skin.

this is a tame tho in comparison to the fact that in the first two throne of glass books (one the series she's written), the only black character is considered a manipulative liar (she's even described as such on the wiki lmao) despite being the main character's best friend before she's summarily killed off in an extremely violent manner all for the development of that main character. she also has an asian character in the acotar series that is considered rude and emotionless, despite, again, being a best friend of the main characters. oh and of COURSE the asian character doesn't have dark eyes lol. because...can't have that in a sjm book!!!! no one can look like an irl person of color AT ALL!!!! g-d. and then, ofc, there's the illyrians, which are 100% coded as people of color and are a violent and misogynistic group of people lmao. as if htat weren't bad enough, she also tried to trademark illyria/illyiran even tho (and this is what made me make the post this morning) that's a REAL PLACE with REAL PEOPLE LIVING THERE.

and even THAT is tame to the fact she posted a promotion for her own book on the same day breonna taylor was killed and, not only that, but used her death to promote said book because she mentioned the murder in one (1) line of the post. to this day she has STILL NOT taken down that post.

compared to that, her misogyny in her novels (the main character constantly competing with other girls and always thinking she's better than they are and 'not like other girls teehee') and her glaring plagiarism (she uses terminology not only directly pulled from asoiaf (wolf in the north; the queen who was promised; oathbreaker; breaker of chains) but is used in exactly the same context as asoiaf too as well as some pretty significant plotlines of dany's (in particular her freeing the slaves of several cities and gathering up everyone on her continent to support her claim to the throne and unite in defense against a common foe that will turn all of them into walking zombies basically....SOUND FAMILIAR??????)) is a pretty tame offense, but imo it all adds up to just one disgusting whole of a person to me.

oh and, to top it all off, she's a zionist. there's a video essay about her i watched on youtube that explains the proof for this, but i do Not remember what it was she said now, so i'll link it here.

she's also ableist too, which expresses itself in how nesta archeron is treated throughout a court of silver flames (g-d forbid a traumatized woman be hypersexual and an addict and get sick of being treated like shit by the peope around her or she deserves to get thrown out of her home to a place her 'loved ones' know is going to be openly hostile to her lol). i don't think sjm even realizes how ableist she is throughout this book bc she claimed it's a healing journey and like...lol. lmao even.

also (i'm 100% being petty here) i hate how fake she comes across. in every time i see a picture of her, and the one interview of her i saw, she reminds me so much of my mother to the point it makes me physically ill.

i'm almost certainly forgetting something because there's just SOOO much about this woman to dislike, but this is everything that immediately came to mind.

anyway her fans are also rancid and believe she's some sort of goddess of writing when she's not even that good and is 100% a fake and shitty person that doesn't truly care about them at all whatsoever.

[picnokinesis]

if you would be interested in sharing your thoughts about the star beast, i would love to hear them!!

Ooh okay, so - well, first, just to start off: I think The Star Beast is a really important episode, and was very much a needed episode. The current climate in the UK regarding the trans community and their rights is getting extremely rancid, to put it lightly. Having an episode of Doctor Who with an explicitly trans character, having the other characters around her be affirming and supportive - that was awesome. Extremely awesome. And I'm really glad that RTD is loudly putting himself on this side of the whole 'debate' (which isn't really a debate, because it's just straight up bigotry from the anti-trans side, and we need people like RTD outwardly speaking out against that bigotry).

When I talk to cis people offline about this episode, that is pretty much what I say and also where I stop.

I'll put the rest under the cut hahah - there's a bit of negativity here, just as a warning for all the hardcore RTD stans, but I think it's well-founded and not vitriolic at all, just like, miffed hahaha. Also, I know there were a few trans folks who found this episode really affirming, so just to be clear: this is just my opinion, personal thoughts, and also influenced by the conversations I had with other trans people that I know and care about about the episode.

When I talk to trans people - offline or online - about this episode, I go in a lot deeper, because whilst it was a very important episode, it was somewhat flawed. It also came off the back of several things RTD had said and done that really ticked me off, and so I wasn't really in the interest of being entirely uncritical about what, to me and a lot of trans dw fans that I spoke to, thought was a very "cis" trans story. And when I watched it, I thought 'oh geez, is this how poc feel when white people try and write poc stories with good intentions but don't really get it right??" because like. Ho boy.

The thing about this episode was that RTD wanted to write an affirming trans story, and mostly did that, but also, imo...doesn't actually understand what gender and transness actually is. I think my main gripes were definitely with the climax scene - the whole 'we can let go bc we're women' thing literally made me go 'what' out loud at the screen because...well, it's just gender essentialism. Trans inclusive, sure! But trans inclusive gender essentialism is still gender essentialism. Women aren't better than men. There's actually an exceptionally good essay written by a trans woman who was still in the closet about her experiences in queer spaces that had a very prevalent anti-men attitude, and I've seen it myself irl too. It's not helpful - it's harmful, in fact - and it leans on this strange mysticism about women that is fundamentally anti-feminist, in my opinion. Women aren't "innately better at emotional and intangible, instinctive things" (and it's unspoken counterpart - "thus men are better at logical, rational things" - is also untrue). Women aren't magically better at 'letting things go' than men are - I reckon you could make an argument about men being socialised to not be emotional, and that would be an interesting conversation to have, but that was not what was being said - especially with the Doctor being raised in a society that didn't even perceive gender in the same was as humanity.

Also, the thing that REALLY got me was 'if you were a woman, you'd get it' - first of all, no. Thirteen never let anything go in her life and repressed to the max, if anything she was WORSE than tenteen at that lmao. Second - and this is the more salient point - I think it's a strange thing to suggest that tenteen is fully a man, at this point? Like, regardless of what he looks like, regardless of how he identifies or how thirteen identified, he just lived a lifetime in a body that looked like a woman, and thus was treated as such by the rest of the universe. He wasn't going to forget all of that. I actually really liked how the Chibnall era approached thirteen's gender - or, rather, her complete ambivalence to it, where it seemed like gender was more of an annoying thing that kept happening to the doctor that she kept having to remember, rather than something she felt - however I really REALLY wish they'd actually dug explicitly into the transness of it all, and so when they didn't, I'd hoped that RTD would do that instead. Especially since we KNEW Yasmin Finney was in it and we knew we were going to get a trans character!! I was like, this is the PERFECT opportunity to get the Doctor to actually talk about their gender and how it, fundamentally, doesn't really change between bodies, just how people REACT to it changes. But instead, the episode seems to present the doctor as having flicked a binary switch - once woman, now man - and thus made sure to remind us that every time thirteen was mentioned, it was framed around the fact that she was The Woman Regeneration, but also that tenteen was Now a Man Again. And even if that WAS THE CASE, it still wouldn't mean that tenteen came out of that experience completely mindwiped of everything about 'womanhood', right?? Like he lived as a woman! He was a woman 45 minutes ago, but now you're telling him that he couldn't possibly understand anything about this because he's a man now? Like first of all, his physical body's characteristics have nowt to do with his ability to let things go, second, it's just....okay, it reminds me of the dichotomy between all these detransition horror stories the anti-trans folks like to spew out, versus when you talk to actual detransitioners, who are quite often gnc and extremely positive about the trans community, and whose experience within that community and transitioning impacted how they view the world.

And I think it fundamentally comes down to RTD not really understanding either womanhood or transness. He actively speaks out on both of these things, which is great, but I don't think he understands them fully. I think the fact that he didn't think that David Tennant could wear a t-shirt, braces, trousers and coat because they were "women's clothes", and that when he cast David Tennant that was one of the first things he immediately decided is kind of telling.

There's also the whole 'male-presenting timelord' thing, which, again, I just don't think RTD really understood what that meant, like I'm not sure what his point was there, genuinely. Like, on a technical level it's acknowledging that the Doctor isn't necessarily male, just looks like a man (correct) buuuuuuuuuut the full line was saying 'you'd never understand this because you're a man' SO LIKE...okay? So he's not actually a man, but actually because of his male-adjacency, he's incapable of coming to the same conclusion that a woman did? So he's still...defined by his maleness? Hm. Strange sentence to write coming out of a trans woman's mouth.

What would have been better? I wish they'd just had Donna and Rose say 'because we're human', or maybe 'because we're the Nobles'. I also know a lot of people really didn't like the misgendering scene with the kids on the bikes - I think my personal feelings on that are a little more complicated, as a trans person who is not out irl and functionally uses my birthname almost everywhere, but also isn't triggered by it. It's not a deadname, more like a paperwork name rather than my preferred name, right? But I know for a lot of trans people, deadnaming is like psychological warfare and it's really awful, especially when done with malicious intent (like shown in the scene with the boys on the bikes). However...I do understand why RTD included this scene, and actually kind of agree with him. Because the boys on the bikes are the sort of people who are also watching the show. And so then seeing that kind of thing being condemned by the narrative by a key, beloved character, is probably something that's actually helpful. On the other hand though...in the Doctor Who Unleashed (or whatever the behind the scenes thing is called now), you've got this interview with Yasmin Finney saying that it was actually a pretty triggering scene to film for her and genuinely affected her, and I'm like....okaaaaaay then I REALLY hope they had someone she could talk to on set. Like, fundamentally, I think telling these stories are important, but, yknow, not at the expense of the actual actress' mental wellbeing, right? So that concerned me a bit.

I also think that the scene between Sylvia and Donna in the kitchen talking about Rose was brilliant. And this is because it was about cis people trying to understand and support trans people whilst not completely getting it and making mistakes, but also trying their best!! Which RTD does understand, very well!! And it felt so real. It was fantastic. There's also the part with the whole 'did you assume the meep's pronouns' whiiiiiiiich I have mixed feelings about? I think here, RTD was trying to poke fun at the people who do say that sort of thing to make fun of trans people, and having the Doctor be like 'actually this is a good point we should be checking this sort of thing'......however. I don't think I've ever heard 'did you assume my pronouns' come out of a trans person's mouth. It's always been a cis person mocking our community. So it felt a bit...incongruent. And all that needed to be changed was having Rose say 'how do you know the meep is a he?' - like that was all it needed!!! Also, it was a shame that after the delightful moment of the doctor being like 'SAME HAT' regarding the meep's pronouns, that.....we then had NO OTHER DISCUSSION about the doctor's gender!! Like, Russel, dude, you're really gonna have Rose hear the 'male-presenting' guy say 'oh yeah I do that with pronouns too!! :D' - have her NOT REACT TO THAT AT ALL - and then you're gonna have her say by the end 'oh you don't understand bc you're a man :)' after her non-binary power move moment? Sighs. Yeah.

I think another important thing to remember here is that there were no trans folks in the writer's room on this. Now, this is a tricky one because I think people who aren't part of a certain community should be writing stories outside their own knowledge and experience, and should be encouraged to do so!! I don't think that you need to have everything rubberstamped, and even something written by someone in a certain community isn't going to resonate with everyone in that community. Actually, I think it's unhelpful to start getting into the politics of 'who is allowed to write what' - I think anything written with care and good intention is valuable, especially if the writer is willing to listen to constructive criticism and learn from any mistakes that are made. But I think, as a writer myself, if you are going to write a story about that community, it might be worth 1) talking to them a bit more than I think RTD did - but, to be fair, I don't actually know how much research he did, but, well, see above on the fact I don't think he really got what he was writing about - but also 2) not dismissing writers from that community (and others!), which RTD did in an interview not thaaaaaaat long before the episode aired. Again, to be fair to him, he has since then been like 'oh, we need to mentor and encourage the new generation of trans writers and writers of colour', which, great! But also, sir, then why were you saying that all the scripts you got from minority writers were all awful, angry, and lacked any love for tv like skksks SIR. SIR. The thing that gets me about that comment in particular is that, as someone currently starting out in script writing, I know exactly how hard it is to get at all noticed. It takes a lot of effort, a lot of passion, a lot of hard work and a lot of skill - and a lot of luck too, granted, but not luck along. So, RTD, if these writers got their scripts to your literal desk, as showrunner of Doctor Who...I think they have some love and passion. They HAVE to, to get to the point where he is reading those scripts. Also maybe RTD should unpack the fact that he thought the scripts were bad because they were too angry - I mean, I haven't read them, so I don't know, but maybe, sir, feeling uncomfortable about the anger in a script isn't a bad thing. Not every story is meant to be an easy pill to swallow. There are aromantic stories I want to write about romance as horror, romance as a virus, romance as a destructive force, that I think a lot of alloromantic people will find uncomfortable. Does that mean they're bad? Maybe, lol. Mostly they're bad because they're not written yet lmao, but I don't think the anger and discomfort in them makes them inherently weak. In fact, I think often anger can make a story stronger.

So then, I think The Star Beast left a sour taste in the back of my mouth, despite all the positive aspects of it, because of that. I think that comment also kinda left me frustrated about Dot and Bubble, even though I think that was a fantastic episode and genuinely really well done, and very effective - and I'm genuinely loathe to criticise it at all because I think it was so important - but. Having RTD talking in an interview about wondering how long the audience will take to notice that the cast is all white (and, thus, the depicted society is racist) whilst sitting in a writers room that's all white iiiiiiiiiiis uh. I don't think he thought about that SKKS. I think a lot about Sacha Dhawan talking about how you can be as inclusive on screen as you like, but if it's all 'white behind the lights' then how much does that inclusivity actually mean?

RTD definitely had good intentions and wrote a mostly good story. But he definitely fell down in some regards, aaaaaand well. I don't know. My personal opinion is that he's kind of arrogant and thinks he's infallible as a writer (and I may feel this way bc of the way parts of the fandom seem to put him on a pedestal, if I'm honest) - but I think that he's just human. He doesn't get things perfectly right all the time, and that's absolutely fine, but I think it's interesting and important to discuss those pitfalls, and I just wish he'd stop making it feel like he thinks he can write trans stories better than, yknow, actual trans people, and then write the most cis trans story I've ever seen SKSKSKSK

(AND ACTUALLY - sorry, this is getting long, but it's kind of indicative of the whole industry at the moment? The industry is calling for more diverse voices, more diverse stories - but they also want stories that can appeal to the widest possible audience, the common denominator, and thus "trans stories by trans people for trans people" doesn't actually tick that box. This didn't hit me until I wrote a trans horror script that got shortlisted for a script call, but when I spoke to the (cis) producer and director (who were LOVELY, the producer had a gorgeous dog called Biscuit HAHA) I very quickly realised that they did not get it. They didn't understand. "Why do we have to kill the mirror demon that's the girl part of this trans man?" they asked. "She should get to live too!" But: "She was never a part of him," I had to say. "She was the idea of him that everyone around him thought he was, and thought it so strongly that she became real. It was her or him." They didn't really understand, but on the plus side it did highlight to me what was unclear in my script that none of my (trans) proof readers had picked up on (although my transfemme friend made the HILARIOUS comment that maybe the mirror demon could go and find a nice trans girl to possess? WHICH SKSKSKSKKSKSK I MEAN -))

Anyway. -gestures nebulously- I feel like my thoughts were a lot more concise and well constructed in the week after this episode actually aired hahaha, but I didn't want to throw my hat into the ring back then. I did find it amused how the majority of my cis trans-affirming friends were like 'GREAT EPISODE, RIGHT?!!' and the majority of my trans friends were sending me the grimace emoji in the week after the episode aired LMAO

[cnjosephs]

Random list of writing tips

If you're stuck on something and don't know how to go forward, the issue probably isn't what you're trying to write—it's what you've already written. Maybe you can't figure out how to get your characters out of this situation because it wasn't in-character for them to get in the situation to begin with, or maybe you tried to have that big emotional conversation too early and it's falling flat, or maybe there's just something about how the last paragraph is written that's making it hard to go forward. Try backtracking a bit and going in a different direction

Varying your sentence length can make your writing flow much better and feel more engaging

You don't need to entirely avoid artful, fanciful descriptions of things, but you should figure out the best way to use them that fits the style you're going for without feeling overused. Sometimes you need an in-depth, poetry-like description of a bedroom. Sometimes we just need to know there's a bed in there. Unfortunately, it is up to you to figure out what's the right call for each situation

Get way weirder with your writing than you are right now

"Show, don't tell" is a lie. The truth is that you should sometimes show, and sometimes tell, and the only way to consistently figure out when is the right time for each is to write a lot and read a lot until you develop a good feel for it. But people really like to pass around "Show, don't tell" because it does better in cute Instagram graphics than "Practice a lot until you figure out how to do it"

"Writing" is not a skill. "Writing" is an umbrella term for a few dozen different skills that are all only vaguely connected to each other. Writing a novel is different than writing a poem is different than writing a short story is different than writing an essay. Even within those categories, you can break it down even further (editing is different than worldbuilding is different than writing dialogue, etc etc). Writing short stories will hone a lot of skills that can transfer to novel writing, but ultimately, if you wanna get really good at writing novels, you've just gotta write a bunch of novels

And, jumping off of that: it is so perfectly okay to write a novel and not publish it. Sometimes a novel exists in this world so it can be published. Sometimes a novel exists in this world so you can practice writing novels & make the next one better

Don't permanently delete things from your writing—cut and paste them into a separate document. On the practical side, you may be able to re-use it later. And on the "getting over an emotional hurdle" side, it's a lot easier to remove stuff from your manuscript if you know it's not gone forever and you can put it back in if you regret taking it out

Are you having trouble editing your manuscript/revising your outline/etc because you're worried that the changes you make will be worse than what you have right now? Make a copy of your document and edit that. Now the original still exists perfectly preserved, so if you really do end up hating your new version, the old one still exists to go back to

Sometimes the best way to figure out the plot/characters/etc is to just start writing the damn thing

Giving your characters hobbies/interests that aren't relevant to the main plot and mentioning them occasionally is a really easy way to make your characters feel more real. It's easier to feel like the characters keep existing when they're not actively on the page if we can imagine what they're doing when the focus isn't on them

Also, related to the above, giving your character a hobby/interest that feels surprising can instantly give them more depth and make them feel more complex. Tell me your catty high school mean girl likes shopping & fashion and I'll think "yup, ok, most characters in that archetype do". Tell me that she's deeply passionate about repairing vintage cars and alright, you've caught my attention. Later elaborate that this passion started from the summers she spent with her butch dyke aunt as a kid and now suddenly this character feels way more interesting to me

Stop hunching over like that when you write. You're gonna fuck up your back

Personally, my characters tend to change a bit as I'm writing—not in the character development sense, but in the sense that my understanding of them/the type of character I want them to be shifts a little. If you're in the same boat, I recommend periodically doing what I refer to as "he would not fucking say that" checks, i.e. go backtrack to the beginning of the story and make sure that the way the characters are written in the early chapters still matches how you wanna be writing them

Giving yourself rewards for writing milestones is good. Those rewards should not be your basic needs (e.g. "I'll eat dinner once I hit 5k words")

The right amount of worldbuilding for your speculative fiction story is the amount that 1) suits the story and 2) you will enjoy doing. Some spec fic exists as an in-depth exploration of a secondary world, and it calls for very in-depth worldbuilding. Other times you just thought it'd be fun to have elves in your murder mystery and you know what, it's probably fine to not kill yourself doing a bunch of worldbuilding if you won't enjoy that

The time you spend brainstorming/developing the story/deepening your understanding of the characters/etc is also part of writing and is not wasted time

Creating a "which of my OCs are you" uquiz and sending it to your friends is unironically a really fun way to get you thinking about what makes each of your characters unique from each other and what their defining traits are

No matter how much you tone down your story, there are still going to be people who hate it, still people who call it degenerate filth, still people on the internet who will find excuses to call it the most harmful piece of fiction that has ever existed. Stop tailoring your book to what's least likely to make people on tumblr hate you and start writing what you enjoy

You must not fear cringe. Cringe is the mindkiller. Cringe is the little-death that brings total artistic obliteration. You will face being cringe. You will permit it to pass over you and through you. And when it has gone past you will turn the inner eye to see that the entire concept of "being cringe" is stupid. Where the cringe has gone there will be nothing. Only your earnest & genuine writing will remain

Seriously though stop being afraid of being cringe or whatever. Don't make your book sound like a Marvel movie. Be more afraid of your book being devoid of genuine emotion than you are of teenagers on tiktok calling your dialogue cringe

Showing us how your characters' flaws negatively impact their lives is a great way to give those flaws more weight

Writing a 1200 word Tumblr post about random writing tips is a great way to avoid writing your actual novel

[princekirijo]

Thoughts on the P3 casts personas? i.e which do you prefer between the initial and secondary personas and which are your favourites?

Oh god thank Rui ily for this

Ok so I'll keep this one fairly opinion based (because someone else asked me a very similar question and I thought fuck it I'll rant about them twice because Personas and their designs are my fav thing to talk about) so without further ado:

So in general I absolutely adore the Persona 3 cast's Personas. Design wise they're not as flashy as P5's but I feel like they don't need to be because their more muted color palette and simpler designs fit the tone of P3 well. There are some I love to pieces (Penthesilea, Artemisia, Caesar, Castor and Cerberus come to mind) and then there are some that I don't like that much (Polydeuces and Nemesis). I'll put a more detailed breakdown undercut because I know I'll get carried away lmao but those are my general thoughts!

I'll break them down by character so it's easier!

MC/FeMC: OK so I do have a preference for male Orpheus but I honestly like both! Female Orpheus has a more cheery color palette (well brighter is prob the better word) which I like a lil more but I think the original one is just iconic. I love his harp and how he uses it to bash enemies idk why that's so funny to me it just is. Thanatos is probably one of my favorite designs ever I love that guy so much. I love his mask and I love how beast like he is. And the coffins? Absolute banger design. Messiah is overall a good design but I'm not as fond of it? It's very well executed but I think because it's so late in the game and it's just not as iconic as the other two I'm kinda meh about it you know. Thanatos is my fav for the MCs (and if he doesn't count for whatever reason then Orpheus).

Junpei: I don't have too much to say about Hermes design wise other than I like him! I like his bird look and tbh my fav thing about him is actually his attack animations! The way he slides into enemies is really satisfying to me idk why. Trismegistus though. God I love him so much. Mostly because of his awakening scene that is honestly one of the highlights of the game (like a lot of the second tier awakenings) and the fact his design is a fusion of Hermes and Medea is just so so good. I def prefer him.

Yukari: I really enjoy both Io and Isis a lot. I really like their designs and their lore and how it ties into Yukari's own story! However compared to some of the others, these designs kinda fall in the middle of the pack for me. Solid looks but nothing crazy you know? I think I slightly prefer Isis because of her wings I think that's such a cool design feature.

Akihiko: Ah my boy. He has one of the best and the worst persona designs of the cast for me. Polydeuces is such a dope choice for him as a Persona. Picking the immortal half of the Gemini twins for him and giving Shinji the other one is so so so so good and I could rant all day about why I love the concept. The design? Ugly af I'm sorry 😭 I cannot stand it it looks so weird the big bulky body with the skinny little legs looks so off-putting and his hair is just so weird? I don't like it at all 💀 Caesar however???!! Absolutely ADORE him. Such a powerful looking design and I love the lil person who sits in his chest (I'm one of the "it represents Shinji" people because I just love that idea so much). Caesar def is my preference here.

Fuuka: I really love Fuuka's Personas because of how she interacts with them. I really like how she's encased inside the persona and I think both Lucia and Juno look really really good. Unfortunately they're kinda similar to Yukari's for me in that they're like both very good but just don't stand out as much as some of the others. I prefer Lucia for her lore and I prefer Juno's design so 🤷‍♂️

Mitsuru: Oh baby. I absolutely adore Penthesilea and Artemisia to DEATH. I have written essays on here about the details of their designs and how they fit Mitsuru as a character so so well. Probably two of my favorites in the entire series. If I had to pick I think I'd give the slight edge to Artemisia because the fact that she has that red mask symbolizing the fact Mitsuru is finally coming out of her shell and letting down her walls a little makes me so so emotional.

Koromaru: Cerberus is a very very good boy. I think it's a really on the nose design but there's nothing wrong with that he's perfect. 10/10 would pet and give treats.

Ken: I think Ken's personas have the same deal as Akihiko's for me but to a lesser degree. I don't like Nemisis that much. I don't hate it as much as I hate Polydeuces, I just think it looks really awkward. I could see what they were going for and the blade saw thing is cool it just looks... Kinda weird. Idk. Kala-nemi on the other hand I much prefer! I think it does the over exaggerated proportions much better than Polydeuces (it's big bulky shoulders look and move really well) and I like the lore behind it. It's not a massive favorite but I enjoy it.

Aigis: Honestly I like both Palladion and Athena a lot. They're both really solid designs and they fit Aigis super well! I'd have to give the edge to Athena though because I love the big shields that circle her. Really cool touch.

Shinjiro: Oh god Castor. I adore Castor so so much. Such a fantastic design. The horse the blade in the chest just everything about him. He looks like Polydeuces but just so so much better. Brilliant design def one of my favs in the series.

[lavendelhummel]

I'll admit I haven't read your fic because I haven't actually seen Warehouse 13, but I do have the assumption that you went through a phase as a kid where you *really* (and I mean really) wanted to be a mermaid (based on your mermaid AU, of course)

Hii! Wow, you were so quick to send this! That’s so cool!

Can I use this as a chance to point out that I wrote a WoT or rather Siuairaine mermaid story as well? ;) It’s much shorter and not very logical, more vibes, but it felt so nice to write that wonderful nonsense! I think it’s my favorite fic actually? At least out of all my Siuaraine ones!

I am not sure if that phase was that strong as a kid. I always liked water and water magic and these things. Underwater wolds fascinated me a lot. And swimming, normal swim training my parents first enforced for safety, and in the ocean! I was insatiable and made everyone come swimming in the cold waves with me. My grandma only told me in recent years that she doesn’t actually like swimming and just went with me. It’s still the same for me though. Underwater it all calms down. It feels very magical.

But back to fic, the first story longer than what you could call a one-shot in fanfic terminology I ever wrote at 10 years old was about a girl discovering her magic water powers, also about some eco-activism related to that (she was connected to the ocean, in oder to fight pollution). So there was always that I guess? Unfortunately I never finished that masterpiece and have no idea where that folder ended up.

But the mermaid fic ideas are piling! The first one (dreaming of waves, the WoT one) was quickly written. The second one was an elaborate Siuaraine AU about a second breaking of the world having sunken Cairhien (like atlantis) and all the Cairhiens having become mermaids through evolution, but also distant legend no human actually believes in, least of all cynic Siuan. That is until she sees mermaid!Moiraine who swam to far to see a human and to get away from the cruelty of her people (the mermaid!Cairhiens eat human lungs to do their gas exchanges). Saidar also changed over time and those who can touch it have the ability to turn into the other human/mermaid. I had a few fun chapter ideas, the first few with lines echoing in my head for weeks, and a happy ending (them living together on a houseboat with river-garden on the Erinin), but no actual plot. And I wanted to write it so badly! But I didn’t have time and in the end this is still an idea in my little notebook. The other one is the washing machine one I am writing now, first I thought about Moiraine for that too, but then I noticed how much better that fits for Helena and then it built in my mind until I couldn’t not write it. And now yesterday I had another B&W mermaid idea (canon, artifact taht turns someone fish-y). Oh and the one I put in the tags of a picture I reblogged a few weeks ago (with pilot!Helena and mermaid!Myka). Oh and multiple Selkie-AU ideas for Siuaraine! I think I wrote sort of an essay on that metaphor in some ao3 comments last year?

We will see how much gets written before this obsession ends. It started pretty much exactly one year ago when I was alone on a weekend-trip in Maastricht, looking down to the river, and found cool gender-inclusive mermaid stickers at HEMA, and suddenly I needed to sit in a café and write that first fic while eating hummus. It was great. But: I’ll shut up now about the mermaid fics!

Thank you so much for your assumption kicking me off to think about the origins of my ideas!!!

[nanjokei]

the new fr*drik kn*dsen video is so mid. loses steam halfway. why didn't he split the video in half and post the second part at a later date? it would have ensured quality and clarity throughout instead of it turning into a slog after the 4 hour mark. by that point flow of information becomes cumbersome and difficult to follow. no, it's not because "there's too much to keep up with". that's not an excuse. there are ways to write it to make it much easier to digest and not be a clusterfuck. so glad i downloaded the video so he didn't get a cent of my revenue, the guy is weird as fuck anyway.

but you know, people cream their pants over any video over an hour, and they put it in the background and barely listen to it anyway, then act like it was amazing. but if you asked them 10 questions about what they watched, they would only be able to answer like two of them. so this is the audience that youtubers are playing to these days. i'm not saying he didn't put effort into it, but people praising it and saying it's the greatest youtube video they have ever watched, i truly do feel bad and hope you engage with better videos. i have no idea what corner of youtube you are inhabiting, the video overall was very okay if i average out my experience throughout the six hours.

btw, before any of you get mad, i'm not saying i don't do "passive watching" or whatever, i absolutely listen to podcasts and videos somewhat passively while i cook or draw, but please be more critical about it. if i realize i didn't absorb what i heard, i rewind however many times it takes until i get it and process it properly, and if i realize im not absorbing shit at all, it means the video is boring and/or badly written. you have to internalize that many youtubers are not as good at writing essays as you think they are. LISTEN discerningly. do yourself this little service! i promise it will make everything more enjoyable!! there is a quote i wanna share one day by fran leibowitz about how audiences need to be more discerning about what they consume because they are just as important as the art and people making said art. sometimes editing and diction saves certain poor script/essay writers, but others cannot be saved. for what it's worth, i don't think kn*dsen sucks at it, but he bit off more than he can chew and could not handle it. if i said who actually sucks at it i might get death threats lol (but i'll say one of them is a certain lying white woman here on tumblr who has a danron url and blocks everyone. absolutely dogshit videos and SHE HAS A SCRIPT EDITOR. JESUS)

[wellofhavoc]

i'll never understand people who say tumblr posts about teens who wrote essays on ships and fandoms are fake posts automatically because i can assure you that autistic hyperfixation combined with plucky-teen ingenuity can create many excuses to write about fandom related topics in class

examples below

ALL of my creative writing projects i ever did were "secretly" fanfiction- all of them, i think maybe one wasn't but even that, i'm sure was a reskin of some anime characters i can't remember now. my main muses were star trek characters.

there was one english teacher who actually encouraged open topic papers on things relating to the subject in any way you want (she gave the example of cookies being at a party in one scene so a student a previous year had written a paper on cookies and the history of cookies) so OBVIOUSLY i wrote an essay on shipping after reading romeo and juliet and i only got points knocked off because i didn't clarify why one of my sources (andrew hussie/homestuck) qualified as a good source on shipping quadrants. i also once wrote a star trek fanfic where they visited a planet where the events of animal farm had taken place and the enterprise crew just sort of how to deal with that (i might have this one on a flashdrive somewhere???)

i actually made a board game based on the oregon trail for a class.... and used the torchwood cast as the "pieces" and some of the chance/community chest equivalents would effect you differently depending on the character you were playing (was destroyed by some assholes, but we did get to play it in class, which was fun!)

my US history teacher actually banned me from using star trek characters because i used them as analogies for EVERYTHING (branches of government, representations of different historical figures in power points- we made a fake newspaper once and i called it the "Enterprise Daily" and filled some other areas to make it look more legit like an obituary full of names that mean "red" and of course a spirk marriage announcement) and i actually got sent to the principal's office because OBVIOUSLY i pushed the envelope too far by putting a transparent picture of william shatner over EVERY slide of an otherwise pristine power point presentation but the principal didn't do anything and sent me outside while he talked to the teacher. (i wasn't in TROUBLE, but i was still heavily discouraged from doing that again)

i was on a speech and debate team and literally acted out the sherlock reichenbach fall in a duos category- we never placed, but it was a lot of fun

none of these were an "and everyone clapped!" moment for me and were VERY cringe, but they were still super fun and... honestly a lot of them helped me engage with the material way better than i would have in any other setting. most teachers (save that US history teacher) didn't really care as long as i met the other parameters of the project (see homestuck shipping source not being sufficient) as that's the goal at the end of the day: to meet the standards of the rubric. i only totally bombed on one project, but the teacher let me redo it and the fandom stuff wasn't the problem. teachers don't want to see you fail most of the time. if you ever got a low grade on a project because it had fandom stuff in it, i guarantee you just didn't link it believably enough.

i would be surprised if anyone on this site hadn't snuck their fursona into an art project or an anime gif into a powerpoint or a pokemon into a diorama about the animal kingdom or some fanart into a brochure or- oh- well, you get it

[berylstudy]

【１００　Ｄａｙｓ　ｏｆ　Ｐｒｏｄｕｃｔｉｖｉｔｙ】

I'm going to really try to do this challenge. I considered maybe waiting until Thanksgiving was over so that I wouldn't have to deal with going out of town and managing it straight away, but I decided that it's probably better for me to start sooner rather than later.

My only rule is that every day I want to push myself to do ENOUGH that I can be proud of the effort I put in. Ideally I would like to use this challenge to help me not just to keep from falling behind in my classes and other needs, but to actively enrich myself every day.

Now the in-depth personal essay. Warning, I am so serious about the length. This is more for me to just word vomit about my struggles and my ways of trying to push past them.

I have some struggles that I have to work really hard to push past when it comes to daily productivity. First of all, I have ADHD, and I have it BAD. Not only is it hard for me to initiate tasks, it's incredibly easy for me to spend hours rotting my skull by scrolling social media mindlessly, and I don't even feel good while I do it; I actively feel bad and like I need to stop. It's just a challenge.

I struggle a lot with scrolling through TikTok, YouTube, and Instagram shortform videos. I have timers on each of them that tell me when I've spent 45 minutes on each of them per day, but depending on the headspace I'm in when that pops up, I usually snooze it. I also have scrolling problems when it comes to Twitter and Threads, and sometimes Reddit.

I also scroll on tumblr and Lemon8, but I have my content on those curated to where I kind of consider it positive scrolling. My brain doesn't get as locked in and everything I'm looking at is very encouraging and motivational, and I'll often use them as a kind of pivot to get my head into a more productive space before I start actually doing what I need to do.

Aside from switching to my "positive scrolling" apps, I also sometimes use the Flora app to just completely lock up my phone and force me to get on the computer to get into my work. Usually I have to go through a bit of a process to start, though.

First, I use a Steam app called Spirit City: Lofi Sessions. It was recommended to me by some folks in group therapy and I've been using it so much since I got it. It basically gives you your own customizable Lofi Girl/Boy/GNC Person, room, and tools for productivity. It's super cozy and customizable, and it comes with a lot of tools I like. Maybe I'll just make a post all about how much I like it and what all it does. But it has a journal that I use near daily and I usually start off by opening up the app and journaling in it to get my thoughts straight and written down.

Then, I make a to-do list. At this point, I'm either in a good headspace to start working or I feel some brain fog blocking me from initiating, so I might need to consume some encouraging or motivational content to help shift me into the proper mindset. Sometimes it helps to set just a five minute timer and work for that long, only working in short spurts until the fog is lifted.

Unfortunately, sometimes I also just straight up fail to get started and the day really does go by wasted. I usually feel really awful when this is the case.

Sometimes I waste hours out of a day completely without noticing at all. I have one more type of app that completely steals my attention for so, so long, and I'm honestly pretty ashamed of it. I spend a lot of time locked in roleplays with AI chatbots on character.ai. I used to roleplay with real people, but as me and my friends have gotten older and our schedules have stopped being so well lined-up, that hasn't really been possible. I really don't like that I'm so addicted to character.ai because 1) They aren't real people and that's kinda really sad on my part, 2) I don't like that character.ai has AI voices because I've seen multiple voice actors whose voices are used complain that they haven't consented to their voices being used that way (I don't use the phone calls or turn on the voices at all but I still don't like that the app just has those voices in their bank), and 3) I will be sending my OC on an adventure with Gale Dekarios at like 9 AM and then when I glance at the clock just absentmindedly, it's suddenly 2 PM, and then when I glance out the window, it's dark outside. Not healthy.

To counteract all of the apps destroying my dopamine receptors and life, I've quarantined them all to a folder on the second page of my iPhone home screen. It's not much, but I'm counting on "out of sight, out of mind" to work at least somewhat in my favor with this.

Now that I've yapped about my struggles and my (hopefully) fixes, I wanna talk about my GOALS.

First, my habit tracker. I'm not that good with habit trackers because they're a bit too strict for me when it comes to my ADHD, so I don't really use it to build habits so much as I use it as a reminder for things I absolutely need to do every day for my health and that I'm usually pretty good with but maybe need a reminder for.

With that said, my habit tracker has my morning meds, noon meds, weekly meds, teeth hygiene, and I just added the 100 Days of Productivity to it. Unfortunately, I really struggle to remember my dental hygiene. I just don't think about my teeth unless I see them, and I'm not exactly giving myself big toothy grins in the mirror when I wash my hands. As for my meds, I do usually remember them, actually. It's just some off days where I need the reminder.

Then, I have my to-do lists, which are categorized by what each item is FOR and not by the importance or timeliness of each item because it's easier for me to keep track of everything like that. I have two to-do lists for each of my current classes, one for errands, and then one more kind of repeating one which is just a list of enriching activities for me to do. The first three lists change all the time depending on what needs doings, but the last one is basically just for me to have good alternatives to spending my time instead of wasting it. And now I can yap about those items.

Drawing - I used to be such an artist, from when I was in middle school until basically last year. I never got to take any classes, and I never got to be very good at it, but I loved drawing so much. Then I got really depressed and just like that, it stopped. I started hating the product, I started hating the process, I started hating the studies and learning...now my skill has regressed even more because of how little I even attempt to draw, and I'd like that to change so that I can enjoy the hobby again.

Audiobooks - I used to really dislike audiobooks. My mom always put them on in the car instead of music and I really didn't like her taste in books. She also had me use them when I was getting better at reading so that I could read along and see how words were pronounced, and maybe it helped with that, but I hated how slow the narrator would go compared to how fast my eyes could actually read. Overall, I was just really annoyed by them. It wasn't until I listened to Dracula on Audible that I realized that sometimes, other people are better at reading books than I am, because I've read Dracula with my eyes and brain on my own, and the audiobook was just so much more enjoyable.

Podcasts - I also didn't really care for podcasts before, and they still aren't my favorite, which means it's harder for me to find podcasts I really enjoy. That said, when I like a podcast, I REALLY like a podcast, and I like more than just funny silly ones. I like philosophy and self-help podcasts, too. I just need to like the hosts, is all.

Actual Reading - I have plenty of books that need reading, but thanks to my ADHD getting worse over time, I'm not as good at it as I once was. I went from being the kid who got detention for reading too much during lessons and getting the schoolwide reading reward in fourth grade when the school went up to seventh grade beating second place by about two hundred books, to having to take constant breaks reading Reader's Digest editions of fairly short reads and sometimes just giving up altogether. I'd like to fix this.

Content Creation - I do stream, and I don't count streaming because it's too easy. I want to create content that I actually have to think about and put effort into beyond just making sure that I'm saying my inside thoughts out loud. I've never been the kind of person to make very deep social media posts, and I only made videos for a short while until I got depressed in my life life and stopped. I want to create things that take time and effort, and that I can share and be proud of.

Show Watching - I have become brain rotted to the point where I can't really watch shows anymore, and I WANT to watch shows. I want to see other people's ideas and talk about them with my friends, and I want to get excited about stories and arcs and characters.

Studying - Studying is something I have to do for school, but I also want to think of it as something I do for me, especially because my major is in programming so it benefits me to practice as much as I can. I like studying, actually. I just need to push myself to do it.

Exercise - I am incredibly sedentary. I have a gym membership. Planet Fitness has been getting free money from me for a long time. Exercise is another thing I actually really like doing, I just need to do it. Hell, even without going to the gym, I enjoy running just around the block. Just...I need to push myself to do it.

Norwegian - My girlfriend is Norwegian and I swear to dogs that I'm gonna put a rock on it one day. And she's not coming to the US, no sir. She's gonna stay right where she is and I'M gonna go to HER. Which means I've gotta get the language down. I find it easier than German, but I lived in Germany when I was learning German, so it's tricky doing it on my own. Any practice is a net positive.

Writing - I loved writing when I was younger, but I kind of hit a wall in terms of my skills developing in high school. I've always been very unpoetic; my word choice is never very detailed or pretty, never evoked very strong imagery, always a bit too concise. There just came a point where any time I wrote sincerely, it was just unstimulating, and any time I tried to push myself to add more to my writing, it always came off stiff, forced, and insincere. This might just be a result of me being autistic and having a harder time connecting the written word to the way the general population reads it, or maybe I just have a flaw that needs a lot of heavy lifting to tone properly. I haven't really written anything since high school, and I think it would be good to change that.

Didn't expect to spend nearly a solid hour writing, but tl;dr, I'm gonna try my best to heal my brain from the clutches of social media and addictive vices, improve my general well-being, and be successful in my endeavors. Thank you.

[firespirited]

Today's ramblings

Watched The Wheel 2021 ($3 to rent on amazon) featuring Amber Midhunter. It's best to go in knowing that it's a slow burn personal drama. The music choices and editing took away slightly from the story. I thought there was a plot point about a txt message I couldn't read (not being able to make out phone and computer messages in media is a pet peeve) but I went back after finishing the film and it wasn't really that important.

The film is mostly carried by the luminous acting. These people feel very real despite the cliché setups.

I found it touching. The hedgehog problem but hurt adults.

Watched some YouTube and got annoyed because folks could have made a 10 minute video that said it better than 100 mins but I guess youtube doesn't reward 10 minutes like it used to. I'll happily watch your three hour video if there's three hours of subject matter. But really no need to dance around the point just doing filler. It's painful.

Then I ended up on a channel with some great social analysis that segued into some "very close to getting it but also so far from getting it" christian content. I hope to see her in five years having broken off from her church and/or founded or joined one that's inclusive, egalitarian, decolonized with tithes going to direct social action. She has all the systemic analysis tools she needs and one big blindspot. But I had to nope out and not engage, I don't think she's ready to hear from any exians, not yet.

Tw: covid, I had a sudden realisation that if tweens and teens weren't carriers during the pandemic, we would have put them to work. Emergency anti child labour law exemptions would have been passed.

Tw: transphobia and terfs. A woman who used to read or watch every interview with JK Rowling out of fascination wrote a small essay in a comment section where she dissects what she understands of Joanne's complex relationship to gender. A father who wanted a son and made her wear blue, being a tomboy and rejecting feminity for approval. Feeling fragile when she got trapped in an abusive marriage. The books, written from the point of a boy then a man under a male pen name. Massive areas of unexamined internalised misogyny and gender resentment. She said herself she thought changing gender could have been a way to that better life with more respect. Except she never sat with that thought and followed through to find out if she actually wants to be a woman (I realised i'd be dysphoric as a boy then later as a man when I revisited the concept) or wouldn't mind the change if it wasn't socially costly. It'd been the first time i'd seen someone who had studied her as a personal hero do a full read on where her trans masc issues come from. Her trans femme issues come from feeling powerless and hurt by men this is something the Gender Essential cults are experts at exploiting by presenting trans feminity as a flavour of male entitlement (which is wild when you consider even most drag queens won't go out in drag unless it's for an event because it's dangerous and also a performance). Jk's flavour of trans phobia tends to skew anti masc because that's her real fear: she already spent time "as a man" when she published the Strike books, I think she quite probably hasn't mulled it over at all: i imagine she thinks men don't love their children in the way women do so there's that 'contradiction' in the way. Maybe someday she'll have a breakthrough in therapy. She's got a window of about 5 years to change before mainstream society has moved passed this reactionary blip and she's regarded by even centrists and center right as a nutjob. After that any change of heart will be seen as phony.

I have good days and bad days in the depresh and some flip half way through. We're wading into deeper water. I can feel other mutuals in the same terrible headspace. I don't want to make things worse or put a thought out there that is like an ear worm for the blues. My default used to be hermit mode who emerges with nice happy clappy mood once a day to not hurt anyone through contagious sads or neglect.

Finding the right balance is hard.

[oblivious-aro]

Wow! What a delicious essay!

Yeah I feel like with jerk characters the writers just want to have someone who makes snarky characters, and don’t really consider how said character meshes with the rest of the cast. Going back to the Jax example, he feels like he should get more push back from the others, but the writers use him as more of a one-liner dispenser than a character.

The point of Thief’s characterization is so that Lady Luck can bounce her quips off of him and tear him down like she does the other contestants. His jerky characterization is used as a tool for the story and characters, not just a tool for the writer's benefit.

“Do you remember when Rick and Morty was a thing?”

I try not to let fandom views sway my views too too much, but honestly with the disproportionate way fandom tends to jump on those kinds of characters, I can’t really blame anyone who’s sick of them because of that alone. Especially since writers themselves seem to respond to the popularity.

Ugh, reddit really does suck for media analysis. I made the mistake of looking up people’s opinions of Nya and Franziska von Karma there. That website's definitely better for stuff like cooking questions than opinions on characters.

“Throw in the way it only ever seems to apply to men…” Ha ha wow, isn't that a weird coincidence…

“It's not so much a twist as the objectively correct take on this trope, but it's still unique and genuinely insightful in a way I haven't seen since.” Oh my gosh someone put the feeling into words! Sometimes a character isn't “subversive”, they're just well written and happen to be adjacent to a known trope/archetype.

Yes! I love how in Reunion you can see how teaming up to beat Lady Luck to escape the dungeon formed a bond between the contestants. Theif's still his greedy self, but he's learned the importance of teamwork and stuff. Yay!

Yeah, a lot of Nya's writing decisions kind of send sketchy messages, but they also happen to make her really cool.

“You get attached to your best skill, because that's how you prove yourself as a person. It comes easily to you and you never really work on anything else, and when you're pushed to do it, you hate that it doesn't come easily to you.”

You get it. You've said it all here (and I think I posted about it a while back), but season 5 Nya was so freaking real for this. I will always have a soft spot for season 5 because of how much I saw myself in Nya's struggle, and I was an adult when I watched it.

“I didn't consider myself an artist or writer or programmer for years because I thought the stuff I made was ugly and awkward”

I know imposter syndrome is extremely common, and I deal it myself, but it still really catches me off guard when some people struggle to feel confident in their work. I'm sure your stuff was a bit rougher back then than it was now, but still…

“I'm reminded of Wu telling Nya that while earth is strong and air is fluid, water can be both. I thought it was just a thing they wrote in to sound wise back then, but on reflection, it's some really kind encouragement for her to branch out.” Ooh, good catch

I'm sure my feelings on Skybound are well known at this point, so I'll just say Ninjago can managed to put some really compelling into Nya, despite the misogyny.

Yeah, you're pretty spot on with Edgeworth. Starts off as your seemingly typical anime rival type, but then you slowly discover someone very hurt and human and watch him change and slowly turn back to the light, in large part thanks to Phoenix's slightly ridiculous levels of faith and devotion (/pos).

His journey strongly ties into and supports Phoenix's character (being his inspiration stand up for those no one else with stand for and find the truth) while still very much being his own story. He's been hurt, but that just person Phoenix was inspired by so many years ago was still in there, even if getting him back out is a…messy process. In the end his philosophy and methods notably differ from Phoenix, but ultimately they both share the ultimate goal of finding the truth.

Yes, one Ace Attorney's greatest strengths is exploring its character's goals and arcs. That final case with Edgeworth is probably the best in the series because of all the buildup, how you got to know Edgeworth in court, how much he means to Phoenix, what he's been through, it all culminates in a kick-ass redemption where you get to save your friend and take down the ultimate bad guy! So hype!

Requesting Nya, Edgeworth, and Theif for the character bingo!

(It didn't surprise me that you have good taste in characters. Also, I should watch The Last Unicorn...)

(asks about my favourite fictional characters in 2024)

Oddly enough you got me kind of going on a theme with this one - they're all characters I expected to be tropey in a bad way, who all turn out way more interesting than I could've ever imagined. Huh.

A lot of words lie below about Dicey Dungeons (up to Reunion), the first two Ace Attorney games, and Ninjago (up to the end of season 6).

Spoilers for Dicey Dungeons (up to Reunion), the first two Ace Attorney games, and Ninjago up to the end of season 6. A warning for a mention of a suspected suicide in a backstory.

I'll start with Thief since I need a bit of warmup for the other ask you sent me:

Thief is the only time I've genuinely enjoyed a protagonist that… I'm not sure how to put it. Is shown to be a jerkass and a realist amongst a cast of otherwise very whimsical characters? Who's drawn to look roguish, sneaky, and clever, whether the writer backs that up or not. And for bonus points, is styled after D&D's aesthetics.

I usually hate characters like this. I think it's an oversaturation problem. Ronin's the closest example I have - a character that does nothing for his season's story and wins against the ninja purely out of plot necessity. Or consider Jax, who takes up a lot of screentime in TADC making the rest of the crew suffer, whose snarking really only makes the creators look insecure about the goofier elements of their own work.

And Jax has been confirmed to be a creator's favourite, which is… not concerning, but it's one of those things a creator can say to make you realise you see something very different in their work to them. Plus, a lot of people like him in the fandom. Which isn't technically part of the work. But it is annoying to see how so many people focus on this archetype even when it doesn't bring anything new to the table. This trope is always extremely obvious, and extremely obnoxious if you don't like it.

The worst thing is this isn't just relegated to the realm of fiction. Do you remember when Rick and Morty was a thing, and you had hordes of people looking up to Rick Sanchez as a role model because he was both smart and an asshole, and therefore the takeaway was that it was okay to be an asshole if you (thought you) were smart?

Maybe this is just because I made the mistake of using Reddit as a teenager, but I'm so sick of that attitude. Throw in the way it only ever seems to apply to men…

(as for the last point - I like the concept of magic and fantasy, but I'm not white and I'm fucking sick of how the genre is based in very strict archetypes when you could do anything with it. I won't elaborate on this or it'd be a whole 'nother essay; let's just say I dislike any aesthetic based off D&D.)

Thief is the only time I've seen a work dress this down: his whole arc is realising that he's been outclassed by somebody who knows the game much better than he does, and actually has the power to back it up (and is much funnier to watch too).

As Lady Luck so elegantly puts it:

"…Thief, who is so strangely proud of being clever and unpleasant! Do you think he minds that I'm so much cleverer, and so many times more unpleasant?"

You know that creeping feeling of dread you got playing the game? He's the character that embodies it best. I expected the game to play this completely straight like all those characters above, but it doesn't. It's not so much a twist as the objectively correct take on this trope, but it's still unique and genuinely insightful in a way I haven't seen since.

(Fun fact: it was actually seeing the episode 2 dialogue between Lady Luck and Thief that got me to stop playing the demo and get the full game! The streamer was fast-forwarding through all the text, but I paused and was like 'wait. this is good dialogue. I have to buy this.')

Reunion really drives this home. I love how he instead starts directing his snark outwards to keep his new friends safe. He actually does things now, as the tough negotiator of the group, rather than just claiming he's better than them. He's still kind of got his old greed in him with how he respects Lady Luck's plans to paint the moon as her face, and how he's here for profit first and foremost, but it's clear he's been forced to grow out of that previous obnoxiousness after being put through hell and back.

Dicey Dungeons has such good commentary on character tropes y'all. Seriously.

Nya's a character that had a personal impact on me growing up. I didn't notice it back then, but at least in the early seasons she's just. Objectively the coolest character in the cast. Albeit only because of misogyny reasons as you've noted, but a signifcant amount of Ninjago's appeal lies in its cool factor, so. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. I always thought she was going to be Green Ninja as a kid.

I had to go back and check this, but we get the Samurai X reveal just before season 1 gets onto the full potential episodes. There's something about having to build your own power in a way that one-ups all your peers while keeping it secret from them that's so cool to me. While I have mixed feelings on whether it's a good thing or not, it reminds me of how I studied a lot of maths in my own time in primary school and did better than everyone else by a long shot. Plus you don't usually see girls straight up build mechs, so this blew my fucking mind as a kid.

It was cool to see representation like that. I really like how that specialisation then leads into her potential in season 5 - when she finally begins to branch into learning something new that doesn't seem to be her thing. I've seen people doubt how realistic that is, and while you can debate how well it was paced or whether it's a good decision for the series, that's a real problem you can run into when you're AFAB (or in any other oppressed group) and talented at one thing.

You get attached to your best skill, because that's how you prove yourself as a person. It comes easily to you and you never really work on anything else, and when you're pushed to do it, you hate that it doesn't come easily to you. I didn't consider myself an artist or writer or programmer for years because I thought the stuff I made was ugly and awkward; I knew a trans guy in secondary who straight up told me that he liked his subjects because they came easily to him (which good for him, but it still proves my point that this is a real thing people go through).

I'm reminded of Wu telling Nya that while earth is strong and air is fluid, water can be both. I thought it was just a thing they wrote in to sound wise back then, but on reflection it's some really kind encouragement for her to branch out. And I like how she quits angrily in her training and tries to run for ages. How she doesn't figure it out until the end. I can see myself in that. It's very nice.

And while Skybound's very. Divisive. I think it's a good 60% of a season for her. Her story up to the ending of episode 8 has been compelling - she wants Jay to respect her boundaries, she struggles to make herself known as a new part of the team due to her status, maybe she doesn't mind being in a relationship, but she wants to at least choose for herself. And the sheer amount of optimism encouragement and energy she has throughout the season for everyone is just great.

Yeah. She's great. She kicks ass. She's unfortunately stuck in a show lead by Male WritersTM but we sometimes stumble into some decent characterisation for her despite that. She's unfortunately lowkey but that means there's less parts of her to mangle over time.

…Ninjago was such a great show. It's such a shame it was capped at 6 seasons, but at least that means they treated Nya with respect throughout her runtime except for that one time…

Also I don't know how to tie this neatly into the essay. But a while ago LEGO released a really funny Ninjago explained video done by the Honest Trailers guy, and I still fucking love how he goes off about how talented Nya is for ages instead of making fun of most of the other Ninjas' archetypes (sans Cole), and just ends it with:

'so naturally she was the last one picked for the team. Seriously, they picked [Jay] over her?'

Edgeworth I have the least to say about - it's been a hot while since I've touched AA (and only the first two games at that) and I don't want to risk misremembering fandom concepts as canon.

But the main impact he made on me was that he seems so tailor-made to be your frustrating, comically evil anime rival for the entire plot. Opposing colour scheme, stupid animations, and all. You go in thinking he's made to be a smug bastard you can knock down, and you come out recoiling from that as soon as possible in horror.

And you feel so powerful when you finally get to team up with him against someone.

Yes he does pull out absolute bullshit like the updated autopsy report, and he's still pretty insulting even in later installations. But when you're working your way throughout the first game, and you start to poke at his motivations a little further? He has an iron-clad reason to want to become a prosecutor, even as potentially corrupt as his methods may be. He seeks to help Wright if it truly brings someone to justice, which is a better portrayal of the legal system than I've seen than from many other places.

And in the end, after he saves you, you have to go back and do the same for him. And it's the best case of the game. You not only blow open a decades-old case that's been hinted towards throughout the entire game, but you also finally cut your friend loose from the ghost that he didn't even know was haunting him for years. It ties the overarching plot and the main characters' personal endeavours together so well, which is the series' greatest strength, despite what the memes going around about its wacky hijnks would have you believe.

Plus, while it's not Edgeworth's doing himself, the amount of dedication Phoenix has towards this guy is great. Whether you read their bond as romantic or platonic (or otherwise), you get the sense Edgeworth must've been someone really special to Phoenix for him to try and chase him down through years of law school and all the bullshit you're put through in the previous 3 chapters. That's devotion right there, and it catches you entirely off-guard with what you go in expecting.

He feels very human. You learn about things like his Steel Samurai collection, you give him advice on how to grow beyond the mess that is DL6. You see him take that in the worst way possible by running off to a foreign country and implying that he might've killed himself. You expect none of it. It's very touching.

[star-anise]

Ok, I'll bite. What *is* the difference between Bridgerton and Jane Austen in relationship to their skirts?

Oh! Not in their costuming, just in their general *waves hands* everything. It's a comment I see a lot about Bridgerton: "Well, it's not much like Austen, is it?"

That's because there are 200 years of literary history between the two, and they have not been empty!

This ended up being 1.5k words, but when I put stuff under a readmore, people don't actually read it and then just yell at me because of a misread of the 1/10th of the post they did read. Press j to skip or get ready to do a lot of scrolling (It takes four generous flicks to get past on my iPhone).

First I'll say my perspective on this is hugely shaped by Sherwood Smith, who has done a lot of research on silver fork novels and the way the Regency has been remembered in the romance genre.

The Regency and Napoleonic eras stretch from basically the 1790s to 1820, and after that, it was hard to ignore the amount of social change happening in Britain and Europe. The real watershed moment is the 1819 Peterloo Massacre, where 60,000 working-class people protesting for political change were attacked by a militia. The issues of poverty, class, industrialization, and social change are inescapable, and we end up with things like the 1832 Reform Act and 1834 Poor Law.

This is why later novelists, like Charles Dickens and Elizabeth Gaskell, are so concerned with the experiences of the urban poor. Gaskell's North and South has been accurately described as "Pride and Prejudice for socialists."

So almost as soon as it ended, people started to look back and mythologize the Regency as a halcyon era, back when rich people could just live their rich lives and fret about "only" having three hundred pounds a year to live on. Back when London society was the domain of hereditary landowners, when you weren't constantly meeting with jumped-up industrialists and colonials.

Jane Austen is kind of perfect for this because she comes at the very end of the long eighteenth century, and her novels show hints of the tremors that are about to completely reshape England, but still comfortably sit in the old world. ("The Musgroves, like their houses, were in a state of alteration, perhaps of improvement. The father and mother were in the old English style, and the young people in the new. Mr and Mrs Musgrove were a very good sort of people; friendly and hospitable, not much educated, and not at all elegant. Their children had more modern minds and manners.")

Sherwood Smith covers the writers who birthed the Silver Fork genre in detail, but there's one name that stands out in its history more than any other: Georgette Heyer.

Georgette Heyer basically single-handedly established the Regency Romance as we know it today. Between 1935 and 1972, she published 26 novels set in a meticulously researched version of London of the late 18th and early 19th century. She took Silver Fork settings and characters and turned them into a highly recognizable set of tropes, conventions, and types. (As Sherwood points out, her fictional Regency England isn't actually very similar to the period as it really happened; it's like Arthurian Camelot, a mythical confection with a dash of truth for zest.)

Regency Romance is an escapist genre in which a happy, prosperous married life is an attainable prize that will solve everything for you. Georgette Heyer's novels are bright, sparkling, delightful romps through a beautiful and exotic world. Her female characters have spirit and vivacity, and are allowed to have flaws and make mistakes without being puritanically punished for them. Her romances have real unique sparks to them. She's able to write a formula over and over without it becoming dull.

And.... well. The essay that introduced me to Heyer still, in my opinion, says it best:

Here's the thing about Georgette Heyer: she hates you. Or, okay, she doesn't hate you, exactly. It's just that unless you are white, English, and upper class (and hale, and hearty, and straight, and and and), she thinks you are a lesser being. [...W]ith Heyer, I knew where I stood: somewhere way below the bottom rung of humanity. Along with everyone else in the world except Prince William and four of his friends from Eton, which really took away the sting. But my point is: if you are not that white British upper-class person of good stock and hearty bluffness and a large country estate, the only question for you is which book will contain a grimly bigoted caricature of you featuring every single stereotyped trait ever associated with your particular group. (You have to decide for yourself if really wonderful female characters and great writing are worth the rest of it.)

So Heyer created the genre, but she exacerbated the flaw that was always at the heart of fiction about the Regency, was that its appeal was not having to deal with the inherent rot of the British aristocracy. I think part of why it's such a popular genre in North America specifically is that we often don't know much British history, so we can focus more on the perfume and less on the dank odor it's hiding.

And like, escapism is not a bad thing. Romance writers as a community have sat down and said: We are an escapist genre. The Romance Writers of America, one of the biggest author associations out there, back when they were good, have foundationally said: "Two basic elements comprise every romance novel: a central love story and an emotionally satisfying and optimistic ending." A strong part of the community argue that publishing in the genre is a "contract" between author and reader: If it's marketed as a romance book, there's a Happily Ever After. If there's no Happily Ever After, it's not romance.

It's important for people to be able to take a break from the stresses of their lives and do things that are enjoyable. But the big question the romance genre in particular has to deal with is, who should be allowed to escape? Is it really "escapist" if only white, straight, upper class, able-bodied thin cis people get to escape into it? In historical romance, this is especially an issue for POC and LGBTQ+ people. It's taken a lot of work, in a genre dominated by the Georgette Heyers of the world, to try to hew out the space for optimistic romances for people of colour or LGBTQ+ people. These are minority groups that deal with a literally damaging amount of stress in real lives; they are in especial need of sources of comfort, refuge, community, and encouragement. For brief introductions to the issue, I can give you Talia Hibbert on race, and KJ Charles on LGBTQ+ issues.

Up until the 1990s, the romance genre evolved slowly. It did evolve; Sarah Wendell and Candy Tan's Beyond Heaving Bosoms charts the demise of the "bodice-ripper" genre as it became more acceptable for women to have and enjoy sex. The historical romance genre became more accommodating to non-aristocratic heroines, or ones that weren't thin or conventionally pretty. The first Bridgerton book, The Duke and I, was published in 2000, and has that kind of vibe: Its characters are all white but not all of them are aristocrats, its heroines are frequently not conventionally beautiful and occasionally plump, and its cultivation to modern sensibility is reflected in its titles, which reference popular media of today.

This is just my impression, but I think that while traditional mainstream publishing was beginning to diversify in the 1990s, the Internet was what really made diverse romance take off. Readers, reviewers, and authors could talk more freely on the internet, which allowed books to become unlikely successes even if their publishers didn't promote them very much. Then e-publishing meant that authors could market directly to their readers without the filter of a publishing house, and things exploded. Indie ebooks proved that there was a huge untapped market.

One of my favourite books, Zen Cho's Sorcerer to the Crown, is an example of what historical romance is like today; it's a direct callback and reclamation of Georgette Heyer, with a dash of "Fuck you and all your prejudices" on top of it. It fearlessly weaves magic into a classic Heyer plot, maintaining the essential structure while putting power into the hands of people of colour and non-Western cultures, enjoying the delights of London society while pointing out and dodging around the rot. It doesn't erase the ugliness, but imagines a Britain that is made better because its poor, its immigrants, its people of colour, and the foreign countries it interacts with have more power to make their voices heard and to enforce their wills. Another book I've loved that does the same thing is Courtney Milan's The Duke Who Didn't.

So then... Bridgerton the TV show is trying to take a book series with a very middle-of-the-road approach to diversity, differing from Heyer but not really critiquing her, and giving it a facelift to bring it up to date.

So to be honest, although it's set in the same time period as Austen, it's not in the least her literary successor. It's infinitely more "about" the past 30 years of conversation and art in the romance genre than it is about books written 200 years ago.

[ianthe-is-a-bitch-and-i-love-her]

Okay I actually want to talk about the discourse a bit, because it stretches to TLT as well and if I can head it off before it blows up here too that would be just fantastic.

So background - C.L. Clark (author of The Unbroken, if you follow my blog you will probably like that book so go read it) put out an essay about the narrative role of butch characters in fiction, with a particular focus on their position as sacrificial paladin archetypes in tlt and Baru. This is not the discourse. I think it's a well-written and interesting essay that raises points and ideas well-worth considering, even if I don't categorically agree.

The discourse is the spinoff take I've seen from a few tumblr users accusing tlt and Baru of perpetuation bigoted and harmful stereotypes/messaging by having butch women of color killed off to further the narratives of more feminine, "whiter" characters, and that this is specifically because the authors of both these books are white. Which is... A Lot, so let's take that one point at a time (massive spoilers for both series, obviously).

Working backwards, I unequivocally disagree with the idea that Baru and Harrow are "whiter" than Tain Hu and Gideon respectively. Baru and Hu are explicitly both women of color, while the only solid information we have on Harrow's and Gideon's ethnicities are word of God, which I believe I've made my feelings known about, but if we go by that, they're also both women of color. I hope I don't need to elaborate on why it's kinda fucked to accuse one POC of being whiter than another. If we give the benefit of the doubt and assume they were coming at this from a colorism standpoint instead of a racism one, the first off, Baru and Hu are right out - Falcrest is obsessive about ethnic traits, so we can actually be pretty confident that if anything, Hu would be lighter than Baru. For Harrow and Gideon; maybe. Harrow is implied to be lighter than Gideon, although in the absence of a pattern or any other factors to indicate bigotry - and as I'll get to, there aren't others - I wouldn't call it a problem. Also, on this point, one person specifically called out one of Gideon's descriptions of Harrow's skin as grey as "tazmuir being gross about POC's skin tones" rather than something in universe like "Harrow is extremely sickly" and "Gideon's conception of Harrow as the embodiment of the Ninth colors even her most mundane observations of Harrow". Obviously, I think the in-universe explanation tracks a whole lot better.

Okay, second - dying for more feminine characters. The implication being that these narratives are punishing butch characters for not being feminine enough. I take issue with this primarily because Baru and Harrow aren't so much more feminist as they are less masculine. Neither of them are exactly performing feminity for funsies, and Harrow is even actively uncomfortable when forced into situations where it might be expected of her. I think it's worth considering why butch characters often find themselves in sacrificial roles (and if that interests you too, I'd again recommend Clark's essay) but in these books, it's very much not a punishment for not performing feminity.

Then there's the matter of this automatically being worse because it shows up in books by white authors. It's a valid point that white authors are often inherently less sensitive about issues of race in their writings, since it's something that's had less of an impact on their lived experiences. But that does not make white people incapable of writing narratives involving race well or deftly, and, in the absence of a genuine issue of racist writing, pointing at the author and saying, "white!" doesn't create one.

Finally, and most importantly, there's the implication that these butch women are being killed off solely or primarily as a prop for the emotional development of a less butch woman. With regards to tlt, I want to first point out that Gideon does not, in fact, stay dead, so I think the argument falls flat pretty abruptly there. Her character is not subsumed by Harrow's emotional arc. I have further thoughts on the matter as well, but they heavily draw from my Nona ARC, so I'm putting a pin in that one for a couple of months. The stuff with Baru, however, definitely merits a longer discussion since Hu actually does die permanently, and she is absolutely critical to Baru's emotional arc. I think the key here, though, is that her death does a lot more for the story than give Baru angst. Her death contributes critically to the book's thesis about the nature of Empire, the harms it inherently does, the refutations to the idea that there is any such thing as a just peace under imperialism.

Or, to put it another way, a GNC person dies in a story about a monster that eats GNC people. Color me outraged.

[dragon-kazansky]

Yes, sir! | Niki Lauda

Professor Lauda AU! 👨‍🏫

Gender neutral reader

Dedicated to @lieutenantn and @scuttle-buttle

I'm using the first names of people I know in real life for the friends, so I apologise if you share the same name 😅

And thank you @scuttle-buttle for letting me make references to your fic 'The interpretation of dreams'

Some of my German translations may be wrong, I'm still learning 🥺

[Next chapter]

Part 1

You sat outside on campus. Your classes didn't start until tomorrow, but your friends started today. You agreed to meet them for lunch. You hadn't been sat outside for too long when they came out. Upon seeing you, they rush over, smiling.

"Lucky you with your extra day off," Katie says, grinning. She was studying music. This girl and her guitar were a force to be reckoned with, that's for sure.

"It's only one day," you laugh.

"One day more than we got," Michael added. When it came to computers, you knew no one better.

"Still, must be exciting not that you've started your classes. I'm not scheduled until tomorrow."

"Speaking of, what did you even pick? You never actually told us," Michael asks, sitting down next to you.

"Literature and languages."

"Ooo, look at you with your 2 subjects," Katie laughs.

"Just wait until I can tell you fuck off in other languages, then we'll see who's laughing," you grin.

"Funny. Can we go eat now?"

You nod and the lot of you go to the nearest cafe for lunch. The Red Wing is a nice little place to meet with friends and catch up, and it was really close to the university.

You grab a table near the window while Michael goes to order for everyone.

"Do you want to know who your Professors are going to be?" Katie asks, pulling out her phone.

"You know?"

"You can see the teachers on the website, I can check for you," she says, already signing into the website.

You say nothing and try to peek at the screen as she searches for the right page.

Michael returns and takes a seat.

"Uh oh," Katie says, looking at her phone strangely.

"Uh oh? Why uh oh?"

She looks at you with a bitter expression.

"Your language professor... you have Professor Lauda," she tells you.

"Professor Lauda? Why is that uh oh?"

Michael and Katie share a look.

"He's, uh... he's a bit of a perfectionist. Kind of strict. He has thrown students out of his class if they haven't kept up with assignments or he thinks they're just wasting time," Michael tells you.

"Oh, I see. I'm sure it will be fine. I'm taking languages because I want to."

Katie shrugs, "well, your funeral."

You narrow your eyes at her. They were making it out as if he was some demon teacher who worked here. You were sure it would be fine.

"What about my other professor?"

"Professor Barnes? He's alright. Cute. People like him," Katie sighs.

"There we go then. I'll be fine!"

Michael and Katie share a look again. You roll your eyes and ignore them as your food arrives.

You're back at your apartment early, in time for an early night so you can be refreshed for your classes tomorrow.

You weren't worried about what your friends had said. You were sure you could handle what ever this Professor Lauda would throw at you.

You arrive to your literature class early. Professor Barnes is friendly and welcomes you into his class. You take a seat near the front and wait for the other students to arrive.

When everyone has settled, the class starts.

Barnes introduces himself, introduces you the schedule for the term, and spends a bit of time getting to know his class. He makes a joke here and there. He's definitely going to be a favourite yours, you just knew you would enjoy his classes.

He dismisses you all with a gentle smile.

You have some time before your languages class. For some reason a lite bit of dread settles in. You really wanted to do well here, but what if you didn't? Would he actually kick you off the course?

Michael was able to meet up with you as you made your way to your next class. He had just left his class cor the day when he saw you on the way to yours.

"Hey!"

You stop and let him catch up with you.

"On your way to Lauda's class?"

"Yes."

"I think it's very brave of you to take this risk," he says, placing his hand on your shoulder.

You roll your eyes.

"You're over exaggerating! He's just a Professor!"

"Y/N, there are only two professors in this university that scare me, and Lauda is one of them."

"Who's the other?"

"Professor Kreizler, but you're not taking his class, so you don't have to worry about him."

You chuckle softly.

"I'll be fine. I have to go! See you later."

Michael watches you go.

You arrive to the class just in time. The class isn't as full as the other class. Just a few students scattered about. Absolutely no one was sitting on the front row. The professor has his back to the class as he organised papers on his desk.

You headed to the front and sat down, taking out the things you would need.

The professor turned around.

Never has anyone made such an impact on you before just from their presence. Your mind ceases functioning as you get a good look at your Professor.

Soft brown curly hair, dark brown eyes, not too tall, not too short, toned, but not buff. Gosh, did he look good in that turtleneck sweater.

His eyes scan the students. The room was only about half full, not that he cared much. He knew he had a reputation in the university. People couldn't deal with him, but it didn't matter because he wouldn't be able to deal with them either.

His eyes land on the only student brave enough to sit up front. He would be able to see you working from there, but that wasn't what made him stop to look at you. No, it was the fact you were probably the best looking person to ever walk into his classroom.

He flickered his gaze away before it could be read into too much by anyone.

You hadn't seemed to notice he was staring.

Still, he was a professional and he would remain so. Nothing wrong with having good looking students in a class.

"Hallo, willkommen. I am Professor Lauda, your languages teacher. This class is for German. Please, if you had no intention of being here, leave now."

No one shifts.

"Very well then. I have written the schedule for the term on the board, copy it down if you must, I will not be repeating it after today."

You note it down, using all your will power not to just look at your Professor.

"I must ask, does anyone here have any basic knowledge of German?" He asks, eyes scanning the class.

A few hands go up. Better than his last class where barely anyone had any former knowledge. Your hand is up too.

"Gut. You," he nods at you, "introduce yourself auf Deutsch."

You hesitate for a second, not expecting he would pick you. Though, you are sat up front. You're an easy target.

"Hallo, ich bin Y/N."

Y/N. Wunderbar. He had your name. He moves onto the next student who put their hand up, and then the next. You were none the wiser to his little trick of just wanting to know who you were.

"Now, listen here," he says, gaining everyone's attention after introductions, "if you so as waste my time, you are off this course. I only want students who mean to learn. If you fail my tests, you can walk tight out. If you fail to hand in an essay, you can leave."

He scans the faces of his students.

"Am I clear?"

"Yes, sir!" The class all spoke together.

"Gut. Now, pay attention."

He begins the introduction for the course. Though you are paying attention, you're slightly distracted by his voice. English or German, you could listen to him talk all day.

You write down notes as he speaks, not wanting to miss anything. You almost miss some details because you just wanted to sit and listen to him talk.

Class is over before you know it. Time had passed far too quickly for your liking.

"Dismissed. Don't be late."

Everyone gathers their things before they go. You close your notebook and glances up at your professor. He once again has his back to the class.

"Danke, herr Lauda."

Lauda glances over his shoulder to see you standing there. He looks you up and down quickly with his dark eyes. He turns back around without saying anything.

You leave, feeling a little awkward.

Michael is waiting outside for you.

"How was class?" He asks, falling into step with you.

"Not that bad. Professor Lauda isn't that bad!"

"You're lying! He's so intimidating!" Michael exclaims.

"He's fine. Maybe I should I meet this Professor Kreizler for reference."

"He's intimidating too."

"Do you actually like any Professors here?" You ask.

"....not really!"

You chuckle softly and keep on walking. Michael has to jog a little as you pick up the pace.

"I dare you! Though he might be OK if his assistant is there."

"His assistant?" You look at him curiously.

"Yeah, pretty sure they're together."

"Hmm. Cute."

"If you say so, Y/N. Right, I have to leave, there's a computer with my name on it," he grins.

"Yeah, whatever. See you!" You laugh as he walks away.

You head back to your apartment, done for the day. You would go over your notes and have some dinner before turning in for the night.

Tomorrow was another day, and you were eager to return to your languages class.

@lieutenantn @scuttle-buttle @rumblelibrary @zemosimp05 @hb8301 @celtic-witch-bitch @somethingthatsaysbubbles @lorna-d-m @anteroom-of-death @belle82devart @vverliebt @alltimebandsexual666 @charistory @mischief-siriusly-managed @thatoneartgalsstuff @mssennimatilda

[fayesdiary]

Chrom and/or Robin for the ask game :)

I'll do both!

Chrom

First impression: I don't even remember when I first got properly introduced to him. Heroes, maybe? No, I think it was before Heroes got released. It's definitely not when I first played Awakening though, since that was just last year.

Impression now: Truly the most male character of all of Fire Emblem. He's amazing. The perfect combination of Marth and Ike. His voice is perfect. He singlehandedly puts my sexuality into question.

Favorite moment: It's got to be either his battle convo with Walhart or his reaction to Lucina's reveal, immediately believing and comforting her without asking how or why.

Idea for a story: Something about his journey in search of Robin after the ending, that and him fitting into the role of Exalt (granted he's already been at it for two years by this point, but you don't exactly learn how to govern properly in just two years)

Unpopular opinion: I feel that Chrom's approach to trusting people is, as always, really misinterpreted by the fandom (and honestly one of these days we need to have a whole discussion on how this fandom treats naive characters and the belief that naive = stupid).

He knows the danger of trusting everyone, but he still chooses to- as he explains in his support with male Robin, he'd rather risk falling into a trap than turn his back on someone in need. Heck, if he didn't do this, Robin wouldn't be with him now.

Besides, he's got Frederick to watch his back and do the suspecting for him.

And you know, the fact a good chunk of fans just shrug it off as "lol he's so stupid" is just annoying, when the whole philosophy is yes, dangerous, but also fascinating and noble!

Favorite relationship: Romantically with Robin, no question. The two pair each other so well it's baffling, especially with male Robin. I feel they have even more chemistry there!

Platonically with Lissa, mostly because I like they act like actual siblings. Well, besides the occasional "big brother".

Favorite headcanon: He's a huge mythology nerd. He knows a lot about the lore of other worlds, even if he doesn't know they're real until Heroes or his trip through the Outrealms. He actually learned Aether by reading about Ike's stories and imitating him.

Robin

First impression: Again, no idea. They're one of those characters that feel they've always been there.

Impression now: I'm just so fascinated by them. They're by far one of the most intriguing characters in the entire series, through their personality, their relationships, their special connection to Grima and their metanarrative role. I literally wrote a whole essay about it! Of all the FE avatars, they're the only one who I think actually works better as an Avatar, even if I still thing they get restrained by the role sometimes.

Also I like female Robin (those pigtails are iconic and her map sprite looks so fluffy), but I still like male Robin a lot more. His default look and voice is just perfection, and I feel his supports are overall better!

Favorite moment: Their ending where they sacrifice themselves and the bad ending of Future Past. Those scenes are just *chefs kiss*

Unpopular opinion: They're a lot more interesting than people give them credit for, and it saddens me that a lot of fans think they're just one-note and generic. (But really, you can say this about almost every 3DS FE character, they just shrug them off as "lol anime stereotypes" and then some of them go on explaining why a character of the Kaga games that only has three lines is better written than all of Fates or some other bs)

Favorite relationship: Romantically again, with Chrom. But I really like Cordelia and Tiki too!

Favorite headcanon: I love the idea of the line between them and Grima being even more blurry than normal and they keep rubbing off on each other, like for example Robin feeling this near unstoppable rage when their loved ones are being horribly threatened or wronged, or Grima having a strange fondness for the Ylissean family despite them being technically their enemy.