#oswald's not amused lol

[maraariana01]

sillyyyyy

[wishfulsketching]

And they'd always be so excited to see Oswald's reaction!

Even after so many umbrellas

@wishfulsketching said that Ed and Martin should make some deadly umbrellas together, and I can't get it out of my head so it's canon now:

Ed and Martin present Oswald with umbrellas with secret features on a regular basis (like, for the Father's Day, Christmas etc... it's not the only present but it becomes a constant over time).

It comes to the point where he needs a separate section in his wardrobe just for them.

He wouldn't even dream of telling them he's had enough, because he is so touched... not to mention they somehow manage to surprise him with what they come up with in terms of secret features even after years of the tradition.

[riddle-me-ri]

Hi, could you write hcs for how your penguin colony would be with a reader who (almost) constantly flirts with them? Like, no matter the time and place, they always have something veeery flattering to say, and yet its always sincere. And its not just for anybody - their love is reserved for mr oswald cobblepot only!

Thanks in advance!

A/N: oohh some will absolutely love it and some...won't quite know what to do lol. also also I do have more like...proper fic stuff in the works and not just headcanons lol. These have just been easier to get done so I have something to post for you guys lmao.

The Penguins with a Flirty Reader

Arkhamverse Penguin: 

Oh, Oswald absolutely relishes in this attention. 

He absolutely flirts back 100% of the time. 

Oz sometimes wonders if you mean it. 

He wasn’t born yesterday and knows some people like to butter him up, get on his good side and then turn on him. 

Oswald never felt that with you though. 

All the ups and downs of being by his side proved that to him. 

Knowing he fully believes the value of what you say, he’s actually been able to feel better about himself. 

Better than he has in a long, long time. 

Reevesverse/Farrell Penguin: 

Another Oswald that savors the attention. 

He also flirts with you tenfold. 

It’s practically a game at this point. 

To see who can get the other to crack a smile or laugh before going in for a kiss or two

He wins most of the time, you blame it on him having a lot of experience being a smooth talker. 

Every now and then you beat him though.

You learn a trick or two when your lover is an expert in his own right. 

Gotham Penguin: 

Oswald isn’t quite sure what to do..

Or how to react.

He thinks you’re trying to distract him, try to build him up just to tear him down like everyone else. 

He almost hurts your feelings at a certain point. 

When he realizes he hurt you, all of a sudden all the things you’ve said held value. 

You genuinely liked him, you thought those things…

 It takes some getting used to, but now your words empower him…make him feel like a king. 

BTAS Penguin: 

Oswald isn’t entirely dense. 

He knows you’re just trying to take advantage of him. 

You’re just another Veronica Vreeland

What is it you want? Notoriety, money, jewels? Just be upfront with him for Heaven’s-

However, you have lasted longer than Veronica…surely whatever your motive…is or was would have come to fruition by now. Right?

He hates to admit it, but he’s enjoying your company. Your warm flirty behavior has him enamored. 

Perhaps…this could be true companionship for once. 

TNBA Penguin: 

Oswald is flattered.

He finds it extremely amusing and entertains it.

Takes it in stride much like Arkham and Farrell Penguin

Contemplates you possibly having some kind of end game. 

But will enjoy the attention nonetheless…

When he finds you actually have feelings for him however

That makes this relationship a lot more interesting. 

Telltale Penguin: 

He won’t ever admit it out loud. 

But your flirtations do make him feel more confident in himself. 

Oz will try to wave you off, not condescending by any means, just in a “oh, stop it..” kind of way. 

You grin, knowing that he only does that when you’re about to make him blush. 

Oz adores the fact that you’re only this way with him and no one else. 

It makes everything you say that much more meaningful.

Despite all the people that have come and gone in his life. 

He’ll always have you. 

One Bad Day Penguin: 

Oz loves it. 

Whenever he feels kind of low or he's getting too old…

You always have something sweet and sincere to say. 

You’ll whisper something flirty in his ear and it makes him chuckle. 

He can always count on you to lift his spirits.

He adores that about you; you make him feel young at heart. 

He does his best to keep up, make you feel as loved as he does. 

The Batman (2004) Penguin: 

Ooohh you’re flirtatious too?

Well, you’re in luck so is Ozzie boy. 

It makes things that much more fiery and passionate. 

He definitely savors the attention everytime you dish it out. 

Ozzie feels excited and giddy for once…without causing the utmost chaos. 

He finally feels appreciated and loved for once in his life. 

And he appreciates you all that much more for it. 

Batman Unlimited Penguin: 

Oswald is frozen in place, unsure how to respond. 

Your words make him a blushing timid mess, hiding behind his hat. 

You shouldn’t be saying those kinds of things…not to an old decrepit thing like him. 

Constantly tugging on his collars, and gulping down a lump in his throat. 

The attention makes him nervous, but not unappreciated. 

He’s just not used to this kind of attention, especially not consistently and genuinely. 

Just give him some time and ease him into it, and maybe just maybe he’ll be confident to flirt back.

[oswaldsleftbicep]

Hi!

I just saw that you have 0 requests, so imma give you one:)

How do you think would the boys insta profiles look like? Like their posts oder their stories..

You can show it with pictures like you did at that other request.. if it is easier for you;) Greetings

the boys and their insta profiles!

the way i ran to pinterest as soon as i read this ask-

i decided to go with instagram since that's the social platform i use most, also i have officially decided that the brothers' last name is morningstar lol

all images found on pinterest!

genre: other

cw: mature themes in ricardo's, language

❧ he's basically a social media influencer

❧ he posts about the places he travels to and the shenanigans he gets up to with his friends

❧ on his stories he'll post his friends' content, little updates, and any memes he finds funny

❧ he'll also boost any social movements/local efforts, uses his platform for good

❧ wanted to make a dark academia aesthetic page but that was too much effort

❧ also thought about doing a book review page, but that was also too much work

❧ ended up getting a lot of attention from lucia's fans who comment on his posts thinking it'll get lucia's attention?? so levy has the word "lucia" banned from his comments lmao

❧ his stories are full of historical content, and he absolutely follows a "this day in history" type page

❧ most people think his page is some sort of arg, cryptic mystery

❧ his followers have tried to reverse image search his post, thinking it's ai or from a video game, but it's completely original and taken by mefy

❧ where is this place? why did he take it? why does the caption only say "time is running out"? why is he verified??

❧ added to the mystery is the fact that the year on the post is years before instagram was launched mefy hacked the app to do that, he just likes fucking with people

❧ had kurt help him set up his account lol

❧ all of his captions are complete sentences, it's very old man of him

❧ posts mainly about nature and his garden, and he'll show off anything that kurt makes him

❧ on his story he'll post inspirational quotes

❧ only has this account to keep an eye on lucia and kurt

❧ he also follows levy, mefy, and oswald

❧ mefy doesn't follow him back

❧ doesn't intend to post anything ever, he just doesn't see the point

❧ goes live a lot to do readings and horoscopes once a week

❧ keeps his regular posts to a minimum, but posts a lot on his story about space, nature, and astrology

❧ lowkey the only reason why he's got so many followers is because lucia beefs about him a lot on his page

❧ now there's a whole team lucia vs team mikael feud going on in their mini fandom

❧ lemme hear you say thirst traps!!

❧ the only reason he's so famous is because he's hot and an asshole

❧ every now and then he'll post his gun and if it gets taken down within a week, he'll let a random follower choose his next tattoo

❧ he's technically also a social media influencer, but for all the wrong reasons

❧ the link in his bio leads to his other socials, paypal/venmo, and an only fans

❧ ricardo lowkey talked him into getting an account so he can cyberbully him

❧ doesn't know what he's doing; looked up "profile pictures" and picked the first one he found amusing

❧ same thing with his singular post, and the caption is simply "this is funny"

❧ his followers are mikael, ricardo, oswald, and lucas, whom he follows all back as well as a cat meme page

❧ another influencer who got famous for his pretty boy aesthetic and howl pendragon vibes

❧ none of his followers know his location, and they cannot for the life of them figure it out; it's similar to mefy's page where all his posts are completely original, but nobody knows where they were taken

❧ also uses his platform for good, and the link in his bio leads to a bunch of activism resources and articles

❧ this is his main page, just a bunch of middle school shenanigans

❧ has a spam account that's really popular at his school; it's basically a school meme page with regular memes sprinkled in

❧ he also secretly runs his school's shoot your shot page

❧ complaints about his job on his story but always forgets that kaim follows him lmao

[mar64ds]

‘New Mouse in ToonTown’ pilot summary

Synopsis: Mickey moves to ToonTown, a town full of memorable cartoon characters where anything is possible. However, Mickey will soon find out the town is currently ruled by Cogs, who have managed to crash almost every toon’s hopes and dreams, and now have to live in a more ‘serious’ and pessimistic world

Summary:

“We are introduced to Mickey, who needs no introduction. This version of him, he hasn’t met any of his friends yet, so he is a bit of a newbie. He is overly positive and pretty corny, like how he is in the Paul Rudish shorts, but probably a bit less, because I’m not funny enough to capture that Mickey.

Mickey talks to the taxi driver, the turtle from the Oswald canceled show, and talks about how he is moving to Toontown, a wonderful town full of toons, including celebrities like Bugs Bunny. We give a bit of a hint towards his past, implying that he might not have been happy before but this town will finally be his chance to make friends.

Mickey arrives in town and he interacts with a couple of well-known characters, like Roger Rabbit, Kermit the frog, [include any well known cartoon or puppet character]

After that montage of cameos, Mickey decides to sing a song, but is immediately stopped by a toon, Oswald. Oswald asks him what the hell he thinks he’s doing, Mickey is confused and tries to sing again but Oswald tries to stop him and tell him he can’t do that here. Other toons tell Oswald that as long as it isn’t a big song or anything that it can’t be too bad and that Oswald is a grouch anyway. This makes Oswald mad so he just shut ups and leaves. Mickey starts to sing and oh no it IS a big song. In one part of his musical number, he sings that his name is Mickey Mouse and that caught Oswald’s attention for some reason, but then Mickey is immediately interrupted by three cogs, they hand him a musical number fee, Mickey is confused, the three cogs look at each other in silence and they tell him to come with them to ask him a few questions, but Mickey obviously runs away. The cogs follow him and Oswald does so too at a distance.

Chase sequence, a lot of visual jokes are meant to be placed on this scene, too bad we can’t see them on a written script. In this sequence we are introduced to Mickey’s well known friends, but without really introducing them properly yet, just a way to let the audience know what’s coming. When Mickey runs away he sees that a girl has lost her scarf and tries to get it for her, because Mickey is just way too nice like that. He bumps into Daisy and apologizes so much that Daisy finds it amusing and sweet, when he runs away and the cogs ask her if she has seen a mouse running away she directs them to the wrong direction. He sees a hungry dog (Pluto) and quickly buys him a hot dog, which later makes Pluto bites the cogs. Goofy is lost and looking for directions and Mickey stops and gives him the right direction, which later makes Goofy give the cogs a purposely wrong direction as to where Mickey went. Mickey quickly gets in a bus and bumps into Donald who looks really depressed, so Mickey gives him a short but very nice and sweet conversation before he gets out of the bus. Mickey finally gets the girl’s scarf and surprise surprise it was Minnie’s, who was chasing for it too. He gives it to her and they have a cute moment, Minnie leaves and Mickey is so distracted that he immediately gets caught by the cogs lol

Mickey is finally captured and sent to a court where he is judged by multiple cogs. They ask him questions and Mickey doesn’t really know how to reply, the Cogs threaten with ‘taking his heart’ and Mickey is horrified and confused. Then Oswald shows up and shouts that he is just new in town. The Cogs are like ‘oooooh okay, yeah that was the second option’. The Cogs then explain how this town works now, they explain it through with a villain musical number too, but it's a bit off-key and ends very abruptly because most cogs don’t really like musicals lol which contrasts Mickey’s musical number at the beginning of the episode. It is explained that too much fun is prohibited, too much hope is prohibited, too many jokes are prohibited, toons need jobs and need to be mature and be more serious. That’s how things work and if he tries to do anything against that, there WILL be consequences.

This is a world where the cogs won against the toons not too long ago, they have taken over the town and toons have to follow rules or else they’d be punished. As mentioned before, cogs have found out that the hearts of toons is the source of their joy, hope and comedy, and taking it out would leave a toon empty and depressed, and not long after that there is a chance they could permanently die.

Now the question is, where does Mickey live, because the cogs were not informed of any new citizen. Mickey says that in toontown you can just move in and a house made for you will show up magically, but of course the cogs say that’s not how it works anymore, you need to pay for a house. Mickey CAN’T pay for that house. So he’s asked that whether he finds a solution or it’s better he leaves and go back to his old home.

Mickey and Oswald get out of the building, Mickey looks around the town, the town he thought was going to be joyful and hopeful, and he starts to notice the misery all around it. He’s sad and sits down on a bus station. Oswald asks him what he’s going to do, Mickey says that he’s not sure. Oswald gives him a bunch of money to at least stay in a hotel, and advices that maybe he should just go back when he can. But Mickey tells him he really wants to be here, he wants to meet new people and he wants new people to meet him, he wants to call this place home. And whether the cogs are here or not, he wants to help, he wants to make people less miserable. Oswald is a bit surprised after hearing this, he asks Mickey that that’s nice but WHERE is he going to live. That stops Mickey for a second and he says he doesn’t know. Oswald takes a moment to think.

O: *sigh* I’m going to regret this so much.

O: If you want, you can stay at my place for a while.

M: …

M: Are you… joking?

O: I wish I was.

M: So you’re being serious?! You-

O: Do you want to or not?

M: YES! YES! OH MY GOD THIS IS-

M: This is EXACTLY what I meant! Hope is not lost yet! There is KINDNESS! Even in someone grouchy like you!

O: Hey!

M: Ah! Sorry! I don’t know why I said that! It’s not true at all!

O: Pff it’s fine, I guess I deserve it.

M: Oooh this is going to be great!

O: Okay let’s make one thing clear, we are NOT going to be friends, I’m just doing a favor for a while. You can find a job and you’ll get your own place someday, okay?

M: Sure, sure, of course! Totally not friends! Never ever!

O: Why do I feel like you’re not listening to me?

M: Aaah I just can’t believe it!! This is the best day ever!

O: You almost lost your heart.

M: And yet here I am! With a new friend!

O: Ugh…

The episode ends with Mickey and Oswald walking down the street, while everything seems sad and hopeless, there is a bit of spark coming from Oswald and Mickey’s banter. Maybe there is hope after all.”

[fearcrowz]

Who would participate in a nerf war in Knell?

Elise, Lucas for sure.... Frank would but he'd be too busy trying not to let Annie get hit. Rudy would be all in like some frikkin' commando. Reginald would cower and Martin would try and protect him, Ben would watch in amusement till he got hit too many times. Oliver would try and scold all of them only for everyone to hit him. Simon would just be amused. Walter would have a fit, Imogen is no where to be seen from this stupidity. Sonia would chew everyone out because Walter is upset. Oswald would have every kid with a nerf gun and he'd be right behind them. Sing would be the referee. And the poor gravekeepers would just be peeking in the windows like "aww I wanna play". Mainly Charnel. Charnel is a kid(s) at heart. The others don't care lol

[anthropologistfromentropy]

Everything that happens before my Felix Yusupov fanfic starts in 1917 is pretty much the "what really happened" version. Though what really happened was there was no traces of poison in Rasputin's autopsy. Yusupov's memoir was literally translated by an English MI6 agent, Oswald Rayner, who confessed he killed Rasputin to his cousin. Another MI6 agent's, Stephen Alley's, father was Yusupov's childhood tutor and a family friend for a long time. The agent was even born in a Yusupov palace.

Pretty sure it was just normal WW1 geopolitics - the English didn't want Russia to get out of the war with Germany. The ridiculous myth was probably just to try to cover up that. But apparently within just a few days people suspected the English, lol. Probably even the Romanovs, since Yusupov was put into house arrest downstairs from the English embassy...

Yusupov did have a grandiose spiritual delusion about his divine mission to save Russia by killing Rasputin, and believed he had supernatural powers himself.

Also blamed his brother’s death on a family curse, even though he encouraged his brother’s affair with a married woman for his own amusement and treated it like it was a play. Also Yusupov's friend had had a crush on Yusupov's brother and Rasputin helped with her grief by giving her advice - she introduced Yusupov to Rasputin, hoping he would help Yusupov with his grief too...

Fun character prompt: A character based on a historical figure, but instead of being based on the legend about them, it's the "what really happened" version. Like Rasputin.

Huge creepy priest who is the royal family's unofficial court wizard, rumoured to be utterly unkillable due to his evil magic. Multiple eyewitness accounts of "I swear on my life, I saw him drink poison and then just keep drinking like nothing happened", but it turns out that everyone who ever tried to assassinate him just wasn't very good at assassinating.

[supes9]

Ed finally trying to confess his true feelings to Oswald right before being frozen:

Oswald: “I’m going to freeze you, Ed.” Ed: “Wait.” Oswald: “Why?” Ed: “Let’s talk.” Oswald: “About what?” Ed: “Things…” Oswald: “What things?” Ed: “I don’t know, situations-” Oswald: “I’m going to freeze you.” Ed: “Wait.” Oswald: “Why?” Ed: “Let’s talk...” Oswald: “About what?” Ed: “It.” Oswald: “What’s ‘it?’” Ed: “You know.” Oswald: “I know what?” Ed: “What we’re talking about.” Oswald: “We’re talking about nothing, I’m going to freeze you.” Ed: “You mustn’t!” Oswald: “I must!” Ed: “Why?” Oswald: “Revenge.” Ed: “What revenge?” Oswald: “Revenge for you shooting me!” Ed: “Wait!” Oswald: “Why?!” Ed: “We’ll TALK!!” Oswald: “ABOUT WHAT?!!-” Ed: “I LOVE YOU!!! I love you! I love you! …I love you.”

[Insp.]  ; )

[acrispyapple]

i just wanted to thank you for sharing your content with us, i love your tumblr and you look like you are a really good person ♥️✨🌸 i wanted to ask something too: who are your favorite suitors of ikevamp, ikesen and ikerev! pd: i hope you are doing great!!!

heya! i’ve answered asks about this in the past, but i think it’s time to update my answer and include the new games! forgive me if i copy/paste parts of my old answers (because it makes it easier for me that way haha). also, thank you! i do my best to keep everything pleasant. ♡

i don’t really think of any character as a least favorite. i always give equal time to all the suitors/warlords, with byron and victor being the only ones above. some characters don’t interest me as much as the others, so they’re put in lower tiers-- but i still like them and read their stuff. i like knowing what i can haha. the most i can give is a ranking. i’ve given one before, and i’ll copy paste most of it lol. ♪

i actually put them in tiers because some are really just on a par with each other. also, they may be my favorite but that doesn’t mean i’d see them in a romantic way (unless there’s a ♡). nico for example– i just really like his character and route story! or nobunaga, i just find him really amusing and i love his route~ (º◡º)

mr love queen’s choice

1st tier - victor / li zeyan ♡

2nd tier - gavin ♡

3rd tier - lucien, kiro, shaw

midnight cinderella

1st tier - byron wagner ♡

2nd tier - albert burckhardt ♡, nico meier

3rd tier - leo crawford, sid arnault / lloyd grandier ♡

4th tier - giles christophe, robert branche, louis howard

5th tier - alyn crawford, rayvis harneit

ikemen vampire

1st tier - theodorus van gogh ♡

2nd tier - arthur conan doyle, comte de saint germain ♡, vlad ♡, wolfgang amadeus mozart

3rd tier - isaac newton, william shakespeare, vincent van gogh, johann georg faust

4th tier - napoleon bonaparte, leonardo da vinci, sebastian, osamu dazai, charles-henri sanson

ikemen revolution

1st tier - lancelot kingsley ♡

2nd tier - jonah clemence, edgar bright, dalim tweedle ♡

3rd tier - sirius oswald, harr silver

4th tier - ray blackwell, fenrir godspeed, dean tweedle

5th tier - luka clemence, mousse atlas, oliver knight, blanc lapin, seth hyde, kyle ash, zero, loki genetta

ikemen sengoku

1st tier - kenshin uesugi ♡, nobunaga oda

2nd tier - mitsuhide akechi ♡, hideyoshi toyotomi ♡, ieyasu tokugawa, yoshimoto imagawa, sasuke sarutobi ♡

3rd tier - yukimura sanada, masamune date, mitsunari ishida, ranmaru mori

5th tier - shingen takeda, kennyo, motonari mouri

being in the last tier doesn’t mean anything bad because i like them all in general! the difference is REALLY, really small-- but someone has to come last. just think of it this way: byron and victor both come first, then everyone else is almost equal. if i’m forced to rank them, then this list happens. ✩‧₊˚

[finkmakescharacters]

changed his piercings up a bit, added a little detail to the tattoos and other little fixes

figured I'd show all his piercings lol

Name: Johnathan "Johnny" Ross

Alias: Rudie Rebelle(drag persona)

Gender: cis male

Age: 21

Birthday: October 4th, 1999

Nationality: British/American

Height: 6'7"

Weight: 162bs

Sexuality: straight

Partner: Loretta Sims(fiancée)

Build: lanky and underweight, visible ribs, hip bones and spine, wide shoulders and narrow hips

Hair Color: naturally dark brown, dyed black and white

Hair Style: thick deathhawk with short sides

Eye Color: deep blue

Skin Tone: pale caucasian

Piercings: a lot, only septum, tongue, lobes, nipples and belly button are non-optional

Tattoos

-Union Jack heart on left shoulder

-sleeve of red, black and white roses on right arm

-stitches around his belly

Hometown: London, UK

Current Residence: Halflight, AZ

Parents: Carolyn Maude(52) and Paul Ross, briefly married, Carolyn took her maiden name back after he abandoned her and Johnny

Other Relatives: Daniel Maude(uncle, 48), Liza Maude(aunt, 46), Juniper Maude(cousin, 22), Duncan O'Reilly(uncle, 40)

Friends: Loretta Sims, Jeremy Fox, Jodie Fox, Oswald Sharp, Venus Estelle, Myles Hawkins

Pet: Waddles(munchkin cat)

Affiliation: The Heart Electric(band, lead vocals and guitar)

Personality: alert, compassionate, empathetic, friendly, genuine, good natured, humble, open, romantic, sensitive, sweet, emotional, frugal, quiet, reserved, soft, anxious, cautious, cowardly, crafty, delicate, fearful, gullible, melancholic, neurotic, shy, timid

Likes: antiques, playing with his band, drag, makeup art, piercings and body modification, sweets, songwriting, sleeping late

Dislikes: amusement parks, alcohol, people raising their voice, scary movies, arguing, large dogs, driving, feeling like he has no choices, being told he's not a real man, comments about his weight

Fears: the open ocean, guns, clowns, bees, surgery, being alone, the dark, losing control

-very sensitive and emotional, cries really easily, sympathy crier, if you start crying so will he

-doesn't own a car but he has a used motorcycle, a 2007 Suzuki Boulevard C50 Black

-lives in a small apartment Loretta and their cat, has a lot of posters on the walls, both his punk band posters and Loretta's cryptid posters

-likes crop tops and tight jeans, also likes his studded leather jacket, mesh tops, leather pants and band tees, anything with spikes is also a hit

-absolute mama's boy ever since he was little, would do anything for his mom and wishes she could visit more

-doesn't know who his dad is, he left him and his mom when he was 10 months old, doesn't care to know

-wasn't a very good student in school, especially as a teenager, fell in with a bad crowd and they pressured him into smoking, drinking, vandalism and stealing, once drove his "friend's" car while drunk and nearly crashed, has sworn off alcohol since but has been smoking since he was 16

-performs with his band as his drag persona, Rudie Rebelle, plays small gigs at bars and parties every weekend, more outgoing and confident in drag

-drag is his secret, would be absolutely mortified if somebody outside his friend group found out he's been dressing as a woman to perform

-light smoker, usually just a cigarette after meals or sex but a stressful day can warrant a few more, nothing like a cigarette after crying in the Wal-Mart bathroom

-doesn't get along with his uncle, aunt and cousin, they're narrow minded and abrasive at best and emotionally/verbally abusive at worst

-loved piercings ever since he was a little kid, his mom has shark bites and an industrial in each ear and he was always fascinated by them, she taught him about piercing care from a young age, wouldn't let him get his ears pierced until he proved he could care for it properly

-speaks with a cockney accent, naturally soft spoken and isn't keen on raising his voice outside of a gig

-hates the smell of marijuana, his friends respect this and don't smoke around him

-learned to play guitar as a teenager, always admired the confidence in his favorite bands and wanted to be just like them

-if he has nothing to do that day, Johnny will go to bed at 6am and wake up around 2-3pm

-doesn't have much of an appetite and gets full quickly, tries to eat several small meals through the day

-very comfortable in piercing parlors, he's afraid of a lot of things but needles and metal in his skin isn't one

-had the worst separation anxiety as a toddler

-learning to become a professional piercer, currently an apprentice

-not huge on babies and small children, school age children are usually okay, all they wanna do is touch his spiky jacket and hair

-please don't stare at him, yes he has a lot of piercings no you don't need to gawk at him

-used to love Pokemon as a kid, Loretta has reintroduced him to it and Electabuzz is still his favorite, more into GO than the main series

-not really book smart but can fix things from his motorcycle to music boxes to the kitchen sink

-huge fucking dork that writes like a dozen mushy songs about his girlfriend

-mom is a witch, didn't inherit any of her magical powers

-very hairy chest and armpits

-favorite bands include The Ramones, Cockney Rejects, Subhumans, The Business and Stiff Little Fingers

-likes having the radio on more than the TV, can't help but sing along 

Voice(or as close as I can find lol): https://youtu.be/JE6btxPRPXg

[sheliesshattered]

This Isn’t A Ghost Story extras for Chapter 5: The Present

It’s Friday, so the next chapter of This Isn’t A Ghost Story has been posted! Chapter 5 is here on Tumblr, and here on AO3. There are spoilers below the cut, but I walk through the chapter in order, so it’s fairly safe to keep this one open for visual references as you read, if you want.

Those of you who have been following along with my writing process for This Isn’t A Ghost Story may have noticed how the story grew and morphed on me as I wrote. Despite knowing early-on the sort of story I wanted to tell and all the facets of the mystery that would need to be revealed, the story still managed to grow organically and surprise me at various points.

When I finished chapter 4 and started working on chapter 5, I had every intention that chapter 5 would be the final chapter, with a short epilogue that followed -- six chapters total, rather than the eight we ended up with. I knew what plot points and mystery reveals ch5 needed to cover, and I figured I could fit it all into one reasonably sized chapter. Even as late as the last week of July I was still thinking along those lines, and I quite nearly started posting chapters then, thinking I was nearly finished writing. 

But something held me back from posting, and when I woke up the next morning I realized that chapter 5 really needed to be split. What ended up being chapter 5 and chapter 6 are together about 12,300 words, which wouldn’t have been the longest chapter I’ve ever posted, but certainly longer than I meant for chapters in this story to be, and thankfully I was able to find a good spot to split it.

As with the rest of this story, my husband Jack has been acting as my beta reader and in-house cheerleader, and particularly after reading chapter 4 he was really adamant that I keep focusing on writing and get through the story as quickly as possible -- maybe partially so I could start posting, but mostly so he could read it and find out the answers to the rest of the mystery, lol. Starting with chapter 5, he began reading chunks of the chapter as I finished them, and then eventually went back and re-read all of chapter 5. And every time he’s read it, he’s commented that this is his favorite line in the entire chapter:

“No,” she told him firmly. “Not unless you take away my say in it.” She didn’t add again, but she knew they were both thinking it.

Jack and I have been together nearly two decades, and I think it’s that shared unspoken language of spouses that he finds so amusing here.

For most parts of this story, I can’t really pinpoint exactly when I wrote a particular line or scene, as I tend to write non-consecutively as bits come to mind, tackle conversations or plot points I know will need to happen and then fill in the gaps in between, and go over any given section dozens of times making little edits or adding whole paragraphs until it reads the way I want it to, with the sort of pacing and emotional weight I think it needs. But this bit in particular, I know exactly when I wrote it:

“Our story, Doctor... It isn’t the tragedy you think it is. This isn’t a ghost story. It never was. It’s a love story. And if I know one thing about love stories? They always have a happy ending, one way or another.”

July 15th. I’d been having a rough writing day, hated everything I’d written the day before (more or less everything from the start of ch5 to that line, in its first draft form), and was feeling really unmotivated. Then I saw some excellent meta about the episode Hide on my dash that @clara-oswin-oswald​ had just posted. The title for this story comes from something the Eleventh Doctor says in that episode, and here was Sophie talking about that scene again, just when I was ready to stuff This Isn’t A Ghost Story into a drawer and never look at it again.

My intention with the title for this story had always been to evoke that line from Hide, and hope that most people would be able to fill in the second half of the sentence, “it’s a love story”, on their own. But it hadn’t occurred to me until I was reading Sophie’s meta that I could actually have Clara articulate exactly that thought within the story. The 42 words of that line of dialogue was all I managed to write on July 15th, but I woke up the next morning feeling significantly better about the story and ready to dive back in, make the edits that would fix the first part of the chapter, and keep hacking away at the next scenes to come. 

Of course, the next bit I was trying to connect up with was actually something I’d written parts of earlier, that corresponded with the teeny tiny detail I’d posted a little poll about way back at the end of June. I knew I wanted to introduce Clara’s wedding ring around this point in the story, but I got hung up on what it should look like. Theoretically that should be a little inconsequential detail, just a single line of prose to help the reader visualize it better, but the results from that poll -- blue, unusual, and in support of world-building -- ended up leading me down a complete rabbit hole of research, that eventually spawned what turned into chapter 8. I’ll wait to share the details on that for when we reach ch8 at the end of this month, but the relevant bits from chapter 5 are of course Clara’s ring and what inspired the Doctor to pick that one for her in the first place.

Clara’s ring is based on these two antique rings:

The center stone is what’s known as a star sapphire, which are known to be particularly stunning in direct sunlight.

The Doctor tells Clara that when he first saw it -- presumably while ring shopping before their wedding in 1923 -- he was reminded of when he took her to see the archaeological work going on at the Mortuary Temple of Hatshepsut in 1921. The Temple does in fact have multiple areas where the ceilings are painted blue with rayed stars. It’s a popular motif from that era of ancient Egypt and shows up in a several other places as well.

I picture the jewelry box that Clara digs up as looking something along these lines:

The other piece of jewelry that is mentioned in detail is the necklace the Doctor bought for Clara in 1925. It’s based on the winged sun disk found on many ancient Egyptian temples:

It’s also meant to be a nod to the necklace Clara wears in The Bells of Saint John and The Rings of Akhaten, similar in both design and size:

From there, we get into one of the final remaining mysteries of the story, which the Doctor is clearly reluctant to talk about. There have been hints about this as far back as the first chapter, and from comments on previous chapters, I think a few of you may have guessed that this is where things were headed. Did this reveal turn out the way you thought it would? Or did it surprise you?

Lots of heartbreak at the end of this chapter, but we’re only a few chapters away from our happy ending now. It has been so much fun for me to hear your thoughts and theories as the mystery has unfolded! Thank you to everyone who has left a comment on This Isn’t A Ghost Story, both here and over on AO3. ❤️

--

Extras for Chapter 6: The Future

[aeryn-inara]

Family Reunion

Summary: Ivy being an awesome little sister and Ed getting his ass handed to him. This was written after the unnecessary betrayal of season 4 and I was little (maybe a lot) mad at Ed. Also Ivy destroying male egos are my turn on lol so always and in everything.

Oswald felt like a fool. Ed's betrayal had actually shocked him, yet it had been plain to see for anyone not blinded by sentiment.

"The most brilliant minds are often blind to the most obvious truth"

Ed had been honest with him from the beginning, well... in his own strange way. He will never chose Oswald. Even when given a choice between honest affection and false.

Oswald wanted to blame Lee for her manipulation, but despite Ed's obvious weakness for any female who showed even the slightest of attention he wasn't stupid. He knew Lee was using him, yet still he'd choose her over their friendship.

Of course, just because Ed knew she was using him didn't make him any less foolish. Ed's desperate desire to play the hero, (everyone knows that Jim's job) when all he has ever been is the villain, is ridiculous. He's fooling himself if he believes saving the worthless trash in the Narrows will make that self-righteous bitch love him. Ed can never be anyone but who he is... and she knows that.

What had Oswald tied up in knots, days after, was that the betrayal had actually hurt. Much more than he believed himself capable of feeling again. It was visceral, shock, shame and sadness all at once, and hit him the same as the bullet to his gut.

The only solace he could take was that it was familiar ground. Trust then the inevitable betrayal. It was an old routine and he was more than capable of masking his pain as rage.

Much to his frustration constant rage was unsustainable. As his anger faded he was left with only his pain and regret along with an overwhelming sense of loneliness. In his emotional turmoil he had instinctively gravitated towards the Mansion, and the memories of happier times, as he prepared to drink his feelings away.

"How could I be this foolish! Love is a weakness I cannot afford"

Half a bottle of vodka drowned and yet he still can't believe he had sacrificed his revenge, and essentially his kingdom, to save the traitor. Killing Sophia would have allowed him to reassert control with minimal fuss, but now he was painted even more inefficient. Not only did he allow himself to be overthrown, because of his love for another, but he was then subsequently shown up by the self titled Queen of the Narrows, in order to save a loved one. A loved one who then betrayed him.

"Stupid. Stupid. Stupid!"

He was now the laughing stock of the underworld, a weak little freak easily manipulated by his affections. When would he learn that trusting Ed risked not just his heart but his empire.

"Never again!" he muttered, before quickly gulping the last mouthful of vodka in his glass.

He was contemplating dragging is lonely self to bed, but instead reached for the bottle of vodka to pour another drink, when he sensed someone enter the room behind him.

"Well this is kinda sad." a sultry female voice observed.

Oswald twisted towards the voice. "Who are you?" he demanded as he faced the unknown woman.

"This is all I need. One of Gotham's resident crazies breaking into my house"

Oswald took a sip of his drink then snapped "And what the hell are you doing in my house?"

The tall redhead laughed "Oh right, I have a new face." She continued to walk into the room, not in the least concerned about the enraged Penguin.

Oswald raised an eyebrow at the advancing woman and snarled "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

The redhead laughed again. She appeared amused by Oswald's wrath and her giggles seemed to imply he had asked a ridiculously obvious question. She paused for a second, as if waiting for something to click, before offering a sarcastic "It's me Ivy."

The sound of shattering glass echoed in the silent room as Oswald's vodka spilled over the hardwood floors.

Oswald studied the woman. While she looked entirely unlike his little Ivy, she did exude the same preternatural presence. Oswald wanted to believe, it certainly wouldn't the weirdest thing to have happen in Gotham and it definitely wasn't a first, but it felt wrong to trust his gut. It had failed him horribly recently.

"And why would I believe you?"

Rolling her eyes she sighed "Seriously Pengy"

"It really is you!" Her use of that ridiculous pet name convincing him the way nothing else could. No one else would dare test his patience him so, not anymore.

Oswald wanted to run over and hug her. Forever his saviour, of course she was the one to find him after another betrayal. Maybe things were turning around.

"The one and only."with a cheery smile Ivy collapsed onto on the settee. "Oh... and I totally came here to kill you and make your home my new lair, like as revenge, but you kinda seem too pathetic for that to be enjoyable now"

To say he was shocked by the declaration didn't do justice to how horrified he felt. Ivy, sweet and kind Ivy, had just threaten to murder him. Now it wasn't that she wasn't capable of it, she was more than capable, but he just didn't understand why.

She had been another that he had honestly cared for. Someone he would risk all for, and still would despite recent harsh lessons.

When she had vanished he had been frantic, he had even instructed Zszaz to look for he. Given Zsasz's recent betrayal, Oswald now realised he probably hadn't even bothered to look.

Oswald cautiously continued to engage with her, despite the threat she was showing no indication she intended to follow through and he was curious enough to ignore it "Where have you been?"

"Do you care?" was her automatic and somewhat petulant response.

Oswald snapped back "That's not fair" as he glared back at his sulking friend.

"isn't it?. You treated me like dirt, only ever concerned about your precious empire. You probably didn't even notice I was gone" Ivy sneered, actually sneered. What had happened to his sweet little sister.

"I looked Ivy, I was worried " Oswald sighed in frustration. No one believed he was capable of caring, not even Ivy.

Ivy rolled her eyes "Sure" before flicking her hair over shoulder.

Oswald was struggling to contain his temper "Is that what this is about? You want to kill me because you think I ignored you?"

Ivy's words rushed together as her certainty wavered "No. Yes. Maybe. I don't know." taking a breath to center herself she continued, harsh and bitingly "You were mean Pengy. Really mean. You never let me do anything once you got your empire back. Bridget and Victor totally got jobs."

This finally caused what meager control he had over his anger to snap "Your 15!" he shrieked, furious over her ridiculous expectation.

"16!" her anger at him was just as palpable as she yelled back

"Fine... 16!" he grudgingly snapped before the anger dwindled and an uncomfortable emotion overwhelmed him "But you have to known I wanted you to have some semblance of a childhood." Oswald looked at the new changes and saw several more years were taken from her with whatever had happened. "Especially given how much of it was taken from you."

Ivy muttered "Whatever" while refusing to make eye contact with Oswald

"Seriously Ivy... " Oswald huffed in frustration "I gave you full access to all my accounts and freedom to do whatever you wanted. What teenager doesn't want that?"

"I wanted you to be nice to me... " her tone no longer harsh with anger but soft and hurt "You were the closest thing I've had to a family since... It doesn't matter. " It was so easy to forget how young she was, and how little she has had.

Reacting to her tone Oswald's voice became gentle "Being mean is hardly a reasonable reason to kill someone, especially in our family"

"You've killed people for less" She smirked

"True." Oswald chuckled "But your better than me Ivy. I'm as broken and ugly as my world, you deserve better."

The two surrogate siblings smiled at each other. At ease now they understood the others behaviour and reasoning.

"Are we good?" Oswald asked, hopeful.

Ivy nodded, then suddenly a sly grin appeared "But if you want me to really forgive you, you have to tell me what has you so down"

Oswald rolled his eyes but relented "Fine" Shaking his head at her excited giggles. He then reached for the bottle of vodka and took a mouthful to give him a little courage, his embarrassment unmistakable "Nygma... I may have started working with him again"

"What!" Oswald flinched at her shocked shriek "That guy was a total asshat! Why would you even speak with him after what he did?" Ivy has never been subtle about her feelings.

"I thought he had changed." Ivy raised an eyebrow in disbelief "Yes stupid I know, but had no one else. He came to my rescue. He broke me out of Arkham, saved martin--"

"Who?"

"A new member of our family. You will meet him soon I promise" Ivy nodded and prompted Oswald to continue his story "It was so perfect. If felt like before, when we were friends, before all the unpleasantness"

Oswald let out a bitter laugh "Stupid me actually thought it meant something to him. Our friendship I mean." Taking another gulp of his vodka "He betrayed me again. This time for some woman that doesn't even like him let alone love him." sneering in distaste he acknowledged resentfully "At least Isabelle actually loved him. Lee is just using him."

Looking defeated "I told him I trusted him and he used that against me" Oswald buried his head in his hands "What's wrong with me Ivy? I think I'm still in love him. I more angry that he is going to get hurt than I am that he betrayed me"

"Boys are jerks" Oswald burst into laughter at her simple summary. She wasn't wrong, boys certainly were jerks.

"I couldn't have put it better myself Ivy, boys are jerks. Even myself. I am sorry... you know for my behaviour, it was unacceptable." taking Ivy's gloved hand into his he looked into her eyes "I have really missed you. My life is just not the same without your constant chatter and sweet smile"

Ivy was practically beaming. Any anger she had remaining towards Oswald dissipated at the honesty in his expression. "I missed you too Pengy."

The moment was shattered by an awkward cough heard from the entrance of the room. "Sorry to interrupt this touching moment, but I have business with Oswald"

Oswald gasped. It was Ed. "How much did he hear"

Oswald stood abruptly and went to speak but he could only muster "Ed..." before stuttering off.

Ed smirked as he strutted into the room.

Oswald, suddenly noticing Ivy squeezing his hand tight in support, quickly hardened his tone and prepared to hold his ground "Unless your here to pay me my share from the job you can just turn around and leave"

"Please... Please say you're here to tell me it was all some elaborate plan. That I wasn't a fool to trust you"

Ed went to speak when Ivy rose from her spot "How lovely to see you again Ed." Taking her glove off she extended her palm for a handshake.

Ed sneered at the extended hand "I don't believe we have met." his eyes travelling over the woman with disdain "I have a rather good memory for faces." then with a dismissive wave "Oswald and I have business so whoever you are you can leave"

Ivy just smiled, ignoring Ed directions, and lowered her hand. Oswald was quite proud at the malicious intent she managed to convey with such a simple gesture.

Ivy headed towards the sneering Ed, almost appearing to glide across the room. She had definitely matured in the months they were apart. The Ivy he knew wouldn't have been able to display this level of confidence.

"Well the last time we met you weren't really in the position for proper introductions." placing herself firmly between Oswald and Ed "Ivy Pepper. Oswald's most trusted and loyal friend. You might remember seeing me just before our dear Victor put you on ice."

Ed laughed and mocked "Oh, yes, the little girlie hiding behind Oswald. I just assumed you were another nameless lackey trying to worm your back into his good graces, given I had to bust Oswald out of Arkham" a crease formed in his brow "You look different"

She gestured towards her face "I was kinda going through a transformation." then she crossed her arms "But I'm back now, so you can go back to your schtick as a tourist attraction in the Narrows. Your not welcome here, Oswald and I have plans to discuss"

Ivy smirked and turned from Ed, dismissing him with a mere gesture, much to his annoyance. The entitled voice in the back of Ed's mind screamed "How dare the little brat" as he instinctively grabbed her by the shoulder to turn her back towards him.

Ed was shocked when rather than acquiesce she whirled around, enraged, and wrapped her hand around his throat. He gasped as he felt her manicured nails dig into the delicate skin of his neck, not enough to piece skin but enough to hint they could easily rip his throat out.

Before anyone could act, Oswald to intervene and Ed remove talons digging into his throat, Ivy crooned "Just one little nick and you will be choking on your own tongue. Do not test me"her index finger teasingly trailed across his throat.

Ed started to feel dizzy and found he was struggling to think or form words. "What is she doing to me"

Oswald, recognising this was quickly getting out of hand, approached Ivy in hopes of calming her.

"Ivy... "

"Careful Pengy, I don't want you getting sick." Oswald squinted in confusion as he reached a hand out to place on her shoulder "My skin oozes a wonderful little toxin that can cause some interesting side effects" Oswald instantly jumped back.

"Ivy... we don't want to kill Ed." Ed was looking decidedly woozy "H-He still owes me a lot of money."

Oswald wanted to kick himself for his instinctual desire to protect Ed. No matter how he tries to argue it, he knows the reason he intervened was that he is still unable to see the fool in harm's way.

Gazing intensely at the swaying Ed "Don't worry Pengy I won't kill him." her nails caressing across Ed's throat "I'm just making a point." suddenly she dug her nails into the vulnerable flesh and shoved him roughly to the ground.

Ed instantly started to choke, his skin taking on a green tinge as the poison spread and began to show in veins. All he could do was grasped at his throat...

"Ivy! You said you weren't going to kill him!"

Ivy pulls a vial from her cleavage and turned to Oswald "I have an antidote. I'm not an idiot." she tosses the delicate little vial towards a scrambling Ed, who quickly swallows the contents.

Looking down at relieved looking Ed Ivy smirked "What made you think that was the antidote?" the panicked expression on his face was priceless. Ivy was beginning to find invoking male terror was becoming increasingly addictive and profitable.

"Just kidding." she giggled and Ed managed to look both irritated and terrified.

Leaning over the now panting Ed "You, or your hussy, make a play against Oswald again you won't be this lucky. Understood?"

Ed rapid nods making it more than evident he understood.

Oswald smirked in pride, Ivy was magnificent.

Oswald limped over and helped his former friend up. "Leave. Don't come back. I won't choose you over my family, and you won't survive a second encounter"

Ed glared at the redhead standing smug behind Oswald then turned and left. His smug confidence having been shredded by Ivy.

Oswald burst into laughter as soon as Ed was out the door. "Did you see him. I've never seen anyone shut him up before. You are a wonder"

Ivy grinned "He needed to know if he goes against you, he's also going against me." leaning down she hugged the shorter man, well as best she could without exposing him to her skin "He won't dare try to use your emotions against you again. Now he knows it doesn't matter if you care about him because to me he's just fertiliser"

Oswald smiled and awkwardly returned the hug "Thank you"

The two separated "Now onto business." Ivy grinned and pulled out a phone "Let's get the gang back together"

[alloveroliver]

Sirius X MC “For a Ride”

NSFW Explicit   Sirius Oswald

WC: 1058

Ikemen Revolution Fanfic

His eyes roamed her face, catching every tiny nuance of pleasure that shifts over her features. He sat in his office chair with one leg out as his girlfriend perched on top. Her hands were behind her back, holding her own wrists together like he asked.

Her dress was missing, tossed aside as a useless object. Her bare chest pushed towards him, then away as she used her feet on the ground to move her core over his thigh.

He left her panties on, however, not letting her be completely bare to him. She was grinding herself over his leg as he watched in amusement. The basic gesture seemed to bring so much pleasure to her, yet his own arousal was not unknown.

He did nothing to hide the bulge that formed in his pants, instead, he held onto her thighs, helping to propel her forward and backward. With her hands held behind her back tightly, her breasts were forced forward, bouncing with each thrust.

Noting the fact that she wore the white panties he asked, he decided to reward her with something extra special later. Her breaths came out in puffs, gasping slightly as he squeezed her legs, moving her roughly.

“Tell me how much you like this.” Sirius leaned in, allowing his voice to deepen and resonate over her.

“I-” her breath caught in her throat as he slowed her movements. “I love it so much, thank you.”

When she was done speaking, he began moving her back and forth over his leg again, holding her hips this time. Her feet couldn’t keep up with how fast Sirius was grinding her to him and began dragging the floor.

His eyes fell to her chest, parting his lips. Suddenly, he stopped her gyrations and pulled her body close to his.

His mouth tasted the salty skin over her shoulder, moving down in quick succession to her chest. His tongue darted out circling her already pert nipple, causing an unabashed moan to escape. She relaxed her shoulders but Sirius caught on.

“Keep holding your wrists together tight, I promise I will reward you for being good.” His eyes met hers in a sultry stare.

She regripped her wrists, pushing her chest out once more. The tip of his nose ghosted over hers and his mouth pressed gently against the swell of her lips.

“You’re being so good, you even wore the attire I requested.” He planted another chaste kiss to her lips.

“You are even keeping your volume down.” with another kiss, he pressed firmer.

“and I can tell, I can feel it, you're already so wet for me…” He turned his head and kissed her from a new angle.

“Just keep your chest out for me like this, and grind against my leg again at your own pace. I want to watch you cum, just from this.” his voice was raspier as he continued to kiss her.

“Yes, okay.” she breathed out between kisses, her hips already gyrating in circles over his thigh.

With one last kiss, he pulled away allowing her to slide freely once more. He held one hand on her hip, and the other over her thigh, allowing her to make all the movements she needed to find release.

His eyes roamed over her body, watching her face contort and her chest bounce. His cock throbbed when his name fell off her lips. Looking down between her thighs, he saw her panties began to bunch due to the constant movements.

Her eyes rolled back into her head and her lips parted. As her moments slowed, he knew she was close. His arms tugged her once more, noticing her release as her muscles began pulsing in her leg.

“That's it. Cum for me” He coaxed.

Her back curved, as her legs shook with the racing pleasure coursing throughout her being. Sirius took pride in knowing she would never be like this with anyone else. He was the only one that would ever see her like this, and he was the only one she’d let.

Her moans became whimpers as her head hung in front of her body, causing a curtain of hair to fall forward. Sirius let her come down from her high, pushing the hair away from her face.

“Okay now stand up.” He stated commandingly, only when he was sure she was ready.

Her feeble legs held her weight as she rose off him. His eyes burned with fire when he saw her soaked panties, see-through thanks to her dripping essence.

“I, ahem…” he struggled to find his voice, stunned by the lewd thoughts that began to stream into his mind.

She let go of her wrists, stretching slightly.

“Get on the desk.” He finally managed to say.

She nodded, sitting on the edge as quickly as possible. He spread her legs, looking at her soaked core one more time before laying her on the surface. His finger slid over the wet fabric, watching her jerk when he touched her sensitive clit.

Moving in, Sirius released his cock from the confines of his pants sliding the precum over top the panties. She wrapped her legs around his sides, and her arms around his neck.

“I want you.” her voice was music to his ears.

“You can have all of me if you like. I don’t want anything without you.”

“You can have me too,” she responded quickly, pulling him in for a kiss.

His lips captured hers in an endlessly passionate connection. His cock pressed up against her core, using his hand to push the panties aside just enough to sheath into her.

He didn’t worry about prepping her body for him, she was wet enough to take him fully without any stretching.

“You deserve so many rewards tonight.”

His cock slowly slid into her pussy. His large hand took hold of her wrists, lifting above her head and pinning them to the desk.

“This is reward number one.” the other hand pulled her hips up a fraction of an inch off the desk, then he slammed his cock into her hard.

The angle had him hitting her gspot with precision. Her moan said it all, as she cried out his name. He had plenty of rewards in mind he wanted to give her, he just hoped her body wouldn’t wear out before he gifted them all.

.

.

.

Thank you @oldmansirius for the request!

I like your username cuz it makes it seem like Sirius request this fic himself XD lol

[lovingsiriusoswald]

Get to Know Me!

i’m currently rendering the half part of the commission i’m woking on and i’m bored

from here!

1. What is you middle name? Guasch /gwash/ 2. How old are you? 18 3. When is your birthday? October 21 4. What is your zodiac sign? Libra 5. What is your favorite color? earth + warm colors 6. What’s your lucky number? 14 and 15 7. Do you have any pets? no :( 8. Where are you from? Philippines 9. How tall are you? 5′0″(153 cm) 10. What shoe size are you? 5.5-6 US size 11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? about 5 or 6 12. What was your last dream about? i was in an indoor amusement park and there were inflatable places everywhere 13. What talents do you have? video editing and doing art, i guess, its been too long since i did a piece 14. Are you psychic in any way? no, but my hunches are often correct 15. Favorite song? So Long by Niall Horan 16. Favorite movie? Spiderman: Into the Spider-Verse 17. Who would be your ideal partner? Sirius Oswald, real men are trash tm 18. Do you want children? i’d rather be a cool aunt but its okay 19. Do you want a church wedding? yes!! 20. Are you religious? no 21. Have you ever been to the hospital? yes, my grandmother was always very sick 22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? does being late to class everyday count? 23. Have you ever met any celebrities? a few local artists 24. Baths or showers? baths 25. What color socks are you wearing? black 26. Have you ever been famous? in school because of plays and rumors lol 27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? no 28. What type of music do you like? anything tbh, just send me a bop and i’ll jam to it with ya 29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? no 30. How many pillows do you sleep with? four, i like hugging when sleeping lol 31. What position do you usually sleep in? on my right side, clutching on to the longest pillow like its someone lol 32. How big is your house? spacious enough for three people 33. What do you typically have for breakfast? chocolate milk and bread 34. Have you ever fired a gun? no 35. Have you ever tried archery? yes!! 36. Favorite clean word? wowie, siz 37. Favorite swear word? putangina 38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep? three.straight.days. 39. Do you have any scars? on my back and feet 40. Have you ever had a secret admirer? a handful 41. Are you a good liar? yes 42. Are you a good judge of character? no, my first impressions are often wrong 43. Can you do any other accents other than your own? i can fake Scottish and British when i’m in a giggly mood 44. Do you have a strong accent? when i speak too much or have been talking in English for too long, my Filipino accent comes through 45. What is your favorite accent? i don’t think i have any? 46. What is your personality type? INFP 47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing? i don’t have any clothes that cost above 500Php 48. Can you curl your tongue? no and why would you do that? 49. Are you an innie or an outie? what the fuck is that supposed to mean?? 50. Left or right handed? right 51. Are you scared of spiders? yes and never mention them near me again 52. Favorite food? Pork Adobo 53. Favorite foreign food? Ramen and Bulgogi meat 54. Are you a clean or messy person? messy 55. Most used phrased? “putanginang yan hayop” 56. Most used word? “fuck” 57. How long does it take for you to get ready? an hour or two, oops 58. Do you have much of an ego? i don’t think so? 59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? succ 60. Do you talk to yourself? always when i’m alone in a room 61. Do you sing to yourself? yes 62. Are you a good singer? God no 63. Biggest Fear? not being good enough 64. Are you a gossip? i listen, but i don’t say stuff 65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen? Me Before You i think, i don’t remember) 66. Do you like long or short hair? long hair  67. Can you name all 50 states of America? i’m not from America how the hell am i supposed to know all 50?? 68. Favorite school subject? art 69. Extrovert or Introvert? introvert 70. Have you ever been scuba diving? no 71. What makes you nervous? everything tbh skjdkgdkls 72. Are you scared of the dark? no, only after watching a horror movie 73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? yes in the most polite way i can 74. Are you ticklish? very, don’t even try to touch me 75. Have you ever started a rumor? no 76. Have you ever been in a position of authority? yes 77. Have you ever drank underage? yes 78. Have you ever done drugs? no 79. Who was your first real crush? i had too many i don’t remember lol 80. How many piercings do you have? none 81. Can you roll your Rs? yes 82. How fast can you type? average?? 83. How fast can you run? very fast, especially if i haven’t ran in so long 84. What color is your hair? dark brown 85. What color is your eyes? dark brown 86. What are you allergic to? dust 87. Do you keep a journal? yes 88. What do your parents do? they’re separated 89. Do you like your age? i guess? why would i hate my age though? 90. What makes you angry? too much pressure and demands, taking advantage of my kindness, starting shit about me that isn’t even half-true 91. Do you like your own name? yes 92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they? Aoife, Zephyr and Zefira, Iris, Stella, Sebastian 93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child? a boy then a girl,  94. What are you strengths? art, literature, passion 95. What are your weaknesses? anxieties 96. How did you get your name? from a Hollywood actress my grandmother really liked 97. Were your ancestors royalty? one was a duke in Spain, i think?  98. Do you have any scars? yes 99. Color of your bedspread? yellow 100. Color of your room? bluish-purple

[oswaldsleftbicep]

Happy New Year!!❤️ Looking foward another year with your amazing writing

Also can I ask for headcanons with Lucas, Oswald and Lucia reacting to a reader that got clingy after drinking too much alcohol??

lucia, oswald, & lucas + drunk and clingy gn!so

you're so sweet 😭 it means so much that y'all enjoy my writing and look forward to it :,) but let me preface this by saying i've never been drunk, i've never even had a drop of alcohol and i honestly don't plan to ever drink. so, i'm basing the reader's behavior off of what i witnessed when i crashed my ex's boy's night a couple months ago lol

genre: crack, fluff

cw: alcohol and intoxication, one curse word, poorly described cuddle positions

Lucia

❧ he was throwing a party at his mansion and you already know that when there's a party, there's alcohol

❧ the only reason why lucia was sober was because he was hosting the party, otherwise he would've been right with you getting absolutely hammered

❧ this wasn't a completely formal event so there was more than just the usual classy alcohols like champagne and wine

❧ and lucia knew that you had a hard week for whatever reason whether it was stress or emotions, so when the two of you entered the ballroom he told you to go have fun and off you went

❧ of course he was keeping a close eye on you because that's his partner out there getting drunk among strangers, but whenever lucia was caught up talking to a guest he would have kaim watch you

❧ so about an hour or two into the party kaim comes speed walking up to lucia and steals him away from the guest he was talking to

❧ kaim tells lucia that you seem to be a little too intoxicated, but lucia's like "nah they're fine, let them have this"

❧ but then kaim points you out in the crowd and you're surrounded by a group of people and you're talking to all of them at once quite enthusiastically and you're also starting to get kinda touchy with them, not that they really seem to mind because they recognize that you're harmless in this state and they all think it's amusing

❧ so lucia walks over to see what's up, and as he gets closer he hears that you're talking excitedly about this puppy you saw the other day, and whenever you touch one of the stranger's/your new best friend's shoulder or arm you immediately apologize and continue your story without missing a beat

❧ but then you spot lucia and it's like you were never even talking about a puppy, you're just like "oh hey!! it's lucia!! my wonderful partner and the love of my life!!"

❧ then you latch onto him, and he hugs you back of course, but you're not showing any sign of letting go any time soon, which normally he'd love but he's hosting a party right now and he can't have you just hanging off of him

❧ so he moves you so that you're holding onto his arm instead and you spend the remaining couple hours of the party walking around together with you hugging his arm

❧ once the party's over lucia tells kaim and the other staff to take care of the cleanup while he takes you back to his room to lie down

❧ the whole way there you're still latched onto his arm, only now you've started to rub your face against it too

❧ so he gets you into the room and decides to get you settled in. he sits you down onto the bed and takes your shoes off for you, but when he stands up to help you out of your evening outfit, you grab him and pull him down onto the bed so that you're holding him on top of you and you're nuzzling your face into the top of his head

❧ he was very caught off guard but loves the attention regardless

❧ but then he's like "ok seriously tho we need to get into our pjs" to which you protest so he's gotta do some negotiating. mans may be irresponsible at times but when it comes to you he's at the top of his game

❧ he tells you that if the two of you can get into your pjs in the next five minutes, you can cuddle him all night long

❧ you're like "heck yeah!!!" and you gently shoo him off of you, spring up, and start stripping. he gets kinda flustered at first but laughs it off and hands you your pjs and makes sure you're putting them on correctly

❧ you end up in bed way before him since he helped you get ready, and you're whining for him to hurry up and come cuddle you already >:(

❧ so because of the peer pressure he settles for just his underwear as his pjs for the night so he can keep his promise to you

❧ he's a little shit tho so he slowly gets into bed, like he's dragging this out so you get impatient and pull him in the rest of the way and toward you while he's laughing cuz you're so cute when you're clingy

❧ the cuddle position y'all go for is him on his back and you with your leg across his hip and an arm over his torso and your head on his chest

❧ you're forcing your face deeper into his chest and drawing little shapes into his skin and mumbling about how much you love him

❧ the whole time he's just caressing your back and your head with a lovesick smile, responding to some of your little comments with an amused tone, until you finally fall asleep

Oswald

❧ you were having some drinks with him and lucia and some of the other staff at the mansion this happened in someone's route i don't remember whose tho

❧ oswald's a big guy which means he's got a pretty good tolerance, so even if he's drinking with you he never gets drunk at the same rate

❧ he would've gotten himself drunk if he didn't watch as you progressively got more and more wasted as the night went on

❧ and since one of you has to be able to take care of the other, he holds off on the getting drunk and turns his focus to watching you and lucia both act like fools

❧ he's never seen you drunk before so this is gonna be a fun learning experience for him, and what he learns is that the more you drink the touchier and clingier you become

❧ he also learns that it doesn't matter who you cling onto, like for a good while you were hanging off of lucia, but as soon as oswald returned into your distorted field of vision you immediately latched onto him

❧ he's a pretty shy guy when it comes to pda, less so when it's just his close friends around but his bosses are still in the room so he gets a little blushy and embarrassed at the sudden affection

❧ it's not even anything scandalous, you're just hugging him and drumming on his arm and thigh with your fingers and leaning up against him

❧ so it gets later into the evening and the more sober people decide to call it a night and get everyone into bed

❧ you and lucia are less than pleased to hear about this tho, and you insist on walking lucia back to his room so that he "gets home safe" to which kaim and oswald give and exasperated sigh but let you do anyway

❧ you reach his door and the two of you get extra pouty and have a borderline tearful and really drawn out goodbye, hugging and acting like it's gonna be forever until you see each other again

❧ oswald's off to the side watching with a mix of "are they really serious" and "aw that's kinda cute"

❧ but the goodbye is really starting to take way too long so kaim and oswald have to practically tear the two of you apart, and oswald has to distract you with a new little task: walk him back to his room now

❧ and you're like "absolutely, i gotta make sure the love of my life gets back home extra safe" but you also can't really walk without support so mans just sighs again, kneels down, and lets you onto his back for a piggy back ride which makes you even more excited

❧ so he carries you out the mansion and through the garden and finally back into his cabin

❧ once you're in he squats down a bit, expecting you to hop off now that you've reached your destination, but you just wrap your legs around him and hold on like a koala

❧ the poor man has to ask you multiple times to get down and eventually he's just like "if you don't get down, how will we get comfy and cuddle in bed?"

❧ that question gets you to let go immediately and you just kinda,, fall down onto the floor since oswald was standing upright and wasn't supporting you well, so he panics and helps you up off the floor

❧ but once you're standing you instantly start pulling off your clothes and worming your way into your pajamas with shocking speed for someone who is very intoxicated

❧ oswald just stands there watching you with bewilderment and wonder until he sees you make a wobbly beeline toward him and you start tugging at his clothes

❧ he gets the hint and changes into his pajamas as he tells you to get comfy in bed. you messily pull the covers back, mess the pillows up a bit, and then unceremoniously flop down onto the bed and wait for him to finish

❧ as he makes his way into the bed, you scramble a bit to make room and pat the spot next to you

❧ he lies down and holds his arms open, knowing that you're gonna flop down onto him, and flop you do. you land face first on him and he lets out a little grunt cuz wow that was a lot of force, and he stays still while you wiggle around to make yourself comfy

❧ you end up with most of your body on top of him with the exception of one leg that remains on the mattress, your arms are kinda curled up beneath you with your palms on his chest and your head is between your hands

❧ he's got his arms around you, holding your body to his tightly, and his cheek is pressed against the top of your head

❧ you're starting to get really sleepy so your talking shifts into slurred mumbles that are completely incoherent; the only things he can make out are his name and "i love you"

❧ he keeps holding you tight, occasionally pressing kisses to your head, until your mumbles are replaced with soft breathing and he follows you into sleep

Lucas

❧ the two of you are spending a cozy little evening alone in his home; there's no special occasion but y'all decided to cook yourselves a fancy dinner and break out some nice liquors

❧ so the two of you curl up on a little love seat in front of the fire after dinner and you help yourselves to multiple glasses of alcohol

❧ i believe that lucas has an incredibly strong tolerance, like it takes him absolutely forever to get drunk and the most he gets is just kinda tipsy, so the whole time he's pretty much just watching you get more and more wasted with a loving smile on his face like "yep, this one's mine :)"

❧ he adores how clingy you get, and since it's only the two of you in the room you can give him all of the affection you want without worrying about others

❧ however, at one point he needed to go to the bathroom so he gets up to go,, but he can't go anywhere because there's a hand holding onto his wrist

❧ he turns around and looks at you like "is there something you need??" so you just ask where he's going, and he tells you and you're like "oh ok" and you stand up too

❧ now he's the confused one; he asks why you've stood up and you respond "cuz we're going to the bathroom??" and he just laughs cuz there's no way you're serious

❧ but when he takes a step, you take one too. so he takes a few more steps and would you look at that, you're literally planning on following him into the bathroom

❧ he walks with you to the door and tells you to wait outside and you're like "ok :)" but you still try to follow him in. he tries again, but the same thing happens

❧ so he turns back down the hall until y'all are a good distance away from the bathroom, and then mans just books it

❧ and it actually works!! he's in the bathroom and he doesn't have to worry about you watching him pee!!

❧ but then he hears your confused cries and knocks from the other side of the door, and now he's thinking this whole clingy drunk thing isn't as cute as he originally thought

❧ once he's finished his business, he opens the door but he can't spot you. he hears a sniffle and looks down and there you are sitting against the wall next to the door

❧ he kneels down in front of you, worried because you're crying, but the you see him and fling yourself onto him, blabbering out how much you missed him and how could he just leave you out in the hall all cold and alone >:,(

❧ he manages to keep his balance somehow and hugs you back, consoling you gently before he picks you up to carry you back to the couch

❧ you wrap your legs around him, intent on not letting go, and he sits you both down so that you're on his lap facing him with your legs still around his waist and he's holding you close

❧ he ends up having to apologize for leaving you out in the hall lmao, but you forgive him as long as he continues to hold you and give you attention

❧ you eventually get off of his lap in favor of being able to reach the cookies on the table, so now you're curled into his side and he's feeding you cookies and making sure you take sips of water

❧ you make him tell you stories, which you frequently interrupt with little side comments and exclamations, but he tolerates it more than he would if it were anyone else

❧ he even listens to you tell your own stories which make just enough sense for him to gather a basic premise of what you're talking about

❧ after a while of that, he can tell that you're getting sleepy so he makes you do your bedtime routine, he even helps you with your skincare routine and gets you into your pajamas

❧ once everything is taken care of, he quickly gets into his pajamas and you get into bed together; y'all do the honeymoon hug cuddle position where you face one another and hug with your legs all tangled up

❧ you hold him really close to you, and he caresses the back of your head in a soothing way so that you'll fall asleep faster

❧ he continues to listen to your mumbles and slurred love confessions until you eventually go quiet and fall asleep; he stays awake a bit longer to make sure you're really out before falling asleep as well

[trumpetnista]

CMW2/Trumpetnista: Not You, Too

Summary from FFN: CANON COMPLIANT AU WITH HEAVY SPOILERS FOR THE END OF SEASON 4 AND THE FIRST EPS OF 5. POSSIBLY A FUTURE FIC; Gotham breaks all the rules all the time, especially now. Thankfully, the one about cats having 9 lives? That still holds. Bruce thinks Selina is dead. Everyone does until she walks into the GCPD the next morning.;Rated for language and imagery;1st in my 2019 SSS Project

Words from the Hooded GOTHAMITE: As I said last time, what keeps me watching GOTHAM (other than the awesome writing, dope ass cast, and the lovely fandom...) are Bruce Wayne and Selina Kyle. They hooked me like a fish and I fell in love with the rest of the show in the process. Season 5 has been excellent as always yet bittersweet. It’s supposed to be the last one (I hope not. I hope the show gets picked up or we get a movie or something! It can’t be over yet! Come on!) and I have a feeling that B and Grumpy Cat aren’t gonna be together in the endgame. Not outright, anyways. I don’t think they’ll be enemies but together? As in Helena Wayne showing up levels of together? Nah. 

That’s what fanfic is for. There is a follow up to Positive planned, BTW.

Anyway, this one is another canon complaint AU set in the current season. All you really need to know is that The Eviler Evil Valeska Twin shot our girl, she was paralyzed and now she’s not thanks to Ivy Pepper Version 3’s reluctant help, and Gotham is now divided up into Zones, most of them insane and wild and chock full of yikes. Oh, and Bruce loves Selina but that’s always been pretty fucking obvious. LOL! Enjoy the latest. 

Disclaimer: “Honestly, it’s not mine!”

"What's up, 5-0? Beautiful day, isn't it? The sky is smoggy blue and the birds are singing..."

He was hallucinating.

He had to be.

There was no way that what he was hearing was possible.

No matter how much he ached to, there was no way that he was hearing Selina Kyle's voice.

She was dead. Truly dead. She had gone on one of what she called her "shopping trips" for The Haven and Jeremiah Valeska had finished what he had started that horrible night in the Study. He and his demented girlfriend had trapped her in a warehouse, knocked her out, and blown her up. Not only had they done it, Jeremiah had turned himself in, battered but proud. He claimed that it had been for the best. Selina was nothing but street trash. She was his downfall and utterly unacceptable as a companion for him. Gotham needed its Dark Knight to be with someone who truly understood what reality was. Someone like...

Bruce Wayne hadn't let him finish. Before anyone could stop him, he had picked up a chair and gone after him, much to the shrieking horror of Ecco. It had taken several officers and someone, likely Alfred Pennyworth, sedating him to make him stop. He had woken up in Jim Gordon's office and had stayed on the couch. He didn't want to see anyone. Nobody knew what to say to him. Everyone knew how much Selina meant to him. That was why she had been targeted twice.

Bruce had managed to help her. He had gone straight into the belly of Ivy Pepper's foliage covered beast to get the root to fix her severed spine. Selina had gotten back on her feet immediately and hit the ground running. Shocking everyone, she had opted to wait to get her revenge against Valeska. She was going to play the long game. Valeska wasn't going anywhere. He was just as trapped as everyone else, thanks to the bridges being gone and the Travel Ban.

When asked why, she had sadly explained that Tabitha Galavan, her Mentor turned Sister, had been impatient for revenge and it had taken her life. She had allowed anger and hurt to cloud her judgement. She had dropped her guard and Oswald Cobblepot had promptly murdered her. Bruce had seen it happen. It had been expected. After all, both Galavan siblings had done great harm to the man but hearing Barbara Kean's devastated rage? Knowing that Selina would have to mourn her? It had hurt deeply. It was all a goddamned waste.

Instead of seeking out Valeska or his followers, Selina had opted to use her skills as a thief to help The Haven and its refugees. She would pick a small gang's turf within a Zone, typically Penguin's, and go in for 12-36 hours. She would bring back people, ammunition, medicine, and meaningful things like blankets or feminine hygiene products. She had quickly gained a reputation for being utterly ruthless to any who tried to stop her, which had concerned him greatly. Ivy had warned him that the root would not only fix her spine but amplify the darker aspects of her personality. Bruce had tried to reel her in, leading to several arguments, and eventually, they had reached a stalemate.

She would do what she liked. He would stay out her way or at least keep his judgement to himself while he helped her. Gotham was a madhouse. It always had been but now? It was a free for all. It was survival of the fittest and she would be damned if she let someone who crossed her walk away. She had made that mistake in the past and it had cost her dearly. She had been screwed over one too many times. It would not be happening again. If there was a Hell, she was already going to it so what did it matter, anyways? Self defense wasn't murder, neither was saving people's asses.

Plus, she didn't know about him but she was in no mood to deal with the same group of psychos 10 years from now. She wanted to deal with new psychos.

But, now she wouldn't because she was dead and gone. She was as dead and gone as his parents.

His Selina was gone and Bruce would never see her again, not in this life.

But, the hallucination...she wasn't...she couldn't be...

Could she? Please?

Her mane of golden chestnut curls wasn't singed and pulled up into a messy bun. She wasn't standing in the 12th precinct's main entryway. She wasn't wheezing softly from a partially blocked nose. Her tactical suit wasn't unzipped to reveal a stained gray sports bra and bruised torso. She wasn't looking at the stunned occupants of the room with her usual dismissive amusement, even with a black eye. She wasn't limping and her whip wasn't wrapped around her bruised shoulder like a coil of wire as she drank straight from a bottle of what appeared to be Everclear.

She couldn't be...could she? Was it possible? She couldn't...why was the room spinning? Why was his chest hurting? Bruce stood in the office, speechless and shaking, watching as the Selina hallucination sat on the receptionist desk. It was so real...

"What's the matter? You guys never seen a 7 lives having bitch before?"

"My God..."

"Jesus Christ, Gordon! Get the hell off of me! You, too, Alfred! Bad touch!"

The hallucination looked like her. It definitely sounded like her but it couldn't...she wasn't...but Jim was smiling at it. Alfred was too. Both were still hugging the hallucination and Harvey Bullock had taken its bottle of liquor away, taking a deep swig. She snatched it back from him and shot him a lethal look, making him grin.

"Buzz off, gumshoe. This is mine. I earned it. Plus, it's the closest thing we've got to morphine, which I kinda need right now. I need some morphine, a shower, a nap, maybe take a crap before all of that..."

"Kid, we all thought you were done for. Valeska and his crazy Terminator bitch said you were."

"I'm not a kid. Yeah, I definitely got shanghaied by those goddamned freaks and it sucked but their bomb didn't kill me like they wanted it to. It just made me fly away, which was totally fun until I landed face, ribs, and tits first into the side of a delivery truck. Don't do that, by the way. It hurts. I managed to get it started and it has some good stuff in there. Ammo, some cases of water, and those military TV dinner things and I think there might be meds. I'm not sure. Speaking of meds, I'm still looking for Lee. She was the best, bravest doctor in the city and if I can find her, you can get The Narrows under control real easy. Everybody loved her because she legit gave a shit so they're looking for her. There's a big T.P. and blankets reward for anyone who finds her. She might be across the river, I dunno. Maybe someone could swim over through the subways to go check and to ask for help in person since using the radio obviously doesn't goddamned work..."

"It's too dangerous. The damage from the bridges blocked or flooded the tunnels."

"Dammit. You can't rig something up, Foxy? You're like the better version of that tech dude from the James Bonds movies. The hell's his name again? X? Y?"

"Q."

"Right...whatever. Where's Bruce?"

"Selina..."

"Where. Is. Bruce? Alfred, where is he? Did he...where the hell is he?! What happened?!"

"Valeska showed up here gloating and he snapped. He took a chair to him and...he was in Cap's office but..."

"Get out of my way. Now."

"Selina, I know you're worried but..."

"Harper, I really like you but if you don't get the fuck out of my way, I swear to God, I'll..."

Bruce stepped out of the office and all eyes went to him. All he could see was Selina. He was still shaking and breathing was getting more difficult by the second but he couldn't look away. He didn't even want to blink because then, she would disappear and...

"Oh, no."

As soon as she touched him, reality hit him all at once.

She was real.

She was alive!

"Bruce. Bruce? Come on, baby, look at me...you need to breathe...look at me!"

His first instinct was to obey her and he did just that. His Selina wanted him to breathe. She wanted him to look at her and he was going to. He was going to do any and everything she asked.

Baby? That was new. Selina usually called him B or by his full name. Either that or she called him a douchebag or something else along those lines but fondly. Never a pet name. She had always cringed at pet names and other conventional romantic relationship things like them. But, she was alive. She was alive. She was battered and bruised and didn't smell very good but she was alive. Selina was alive! She wasn't gone. Jeremiah hadn't taken her away from him. Gotham hadn't stolen her away from him. He hadn't lost her. She was alive. She was right in front of him. He wasn't dreaming. He wasn't hallucinating.

"Selina?"

"Hey, Bruce."

"You're alive."

"Barely."

"...y-you're alive?"

"Yeah, I'm alive. I'm right in of- ow!"

Bruce knew that he would have to do some serious groveling later but he didn't care. He hauled Selina flush against him and squeezed as hard as he could, uncaring of her injuries. The noises escaping him could be called crying or maybe screaming, he wasn't sure. As if let loose from a puppeteer's strings, he slumped against the wall and surprising him, Selina wasn't fighting him.

She was holding onto him just as tightly. She was crying like she had after her failed suicide attempt and he loosened his grip enough for her to look up at him. She had to look up at him, now. She had to stand on her tiptoes to give him a proper kiss when they were standing. He remembered when she was taller than him. He remembered when they first met. Every memory he had with her, good and bad, was running through his mind at warp speed.

Cupping his face, she kissed him deeply and he responded immediately, mindful of her cut lip. His second hug was much gentler and he smiled at a beaming Alfred, a crying and grinning Jim. They loved her just as much as he did. They were her family, along with Barbara Kean, and...

"As soon as the Travel Ban lifts, I'm going on vacation and I'm taking you with me. I don't give a shit about your Mission or whatever the hell you call it. We're going someplace warm where we can get falling down fucked up drunk legally and I can have my tits out."

Bruce tried to laugh but he kept sobbing, drinking her in greedily. She was alive. His best friend, his heart, his Selina was alive! She wanted to go someplace warm? Done. She wanted him with her? Done. Whatever she wanted, whatever she needed, he would do it. Even if (when) it compromised his moral compass, he would do it anyway because Selina Kyle was alive. She was alive and he wasn't going to question how. Okay, he would because that was how he was. He always wanted answers but the universe had granted him a most precious gift and...

"...not you, too?"

His voice was small and the smile, the look she gave him was the softest he had ever seen.

"Not me, too. Not today. Not ever. You're stuck with me, Bruce Wayne. Get used to it."