#originally i just thought about them watching a scary movie together but my brain just went nope and this came out instead

[astranite]

Ghosts

Boo!!! Family fluffy fic in time for spooky season!! Set after S2E2 Ghost Ship. A little hurt/comfort in there but not scary, plus lots of siblingly banter, shenanigans and cuddles!!

Authors note: I haven't actually seen more than 5 minutes of any of the redacted for spoilers movies, but I googled it which totally counts.

Oh and you might recognise some of this from wip wednesday but there's alot more now. This was originally supposed to be short, like under 1000 words short but nope!! I had much fun writing!!

@idontknowreallywhy *steals your popcorn*

---------

John really hoped that Scott and Kayo had forgotten about his and Alan’s whole ‘maybe, possibly, just a tiny bit absolutely terrified of ghosts,’ slip up on the comms. 

He really thought they had. Until the next family movie night. 

To set the scene: it was a cool, pleasant evening on Tracy Island. John was down from Five and the fresh breeze was a welcome change from recycled air. All the family was piled onto couches, well except for Grandma and Brains who were in his lab making enthusiastic upgrades to the already far too overpowered oven. 

Gordon and Virgil were squabbling over whether sweet or salty popcorn was the better flavour, while eating from a bowl mixed of both, like they did every time. Gordon preferred salty, likening it to the unfortunate comparison of celery crunch bars despite the two bearing little resemblance. Virgil vehemently argued for sweet ever since he had discovered coffee caramel popcorn.

Scott attempted to mediate without getting kicked by Virgil’s feet on his lap as the family tank lunged to get the fish in a headlock. Alan egged all parties on. Kayo delicately plucked the popcorn bowl from amid the fray and joined John where he watched from the relative safety of the other sofa.

He took a handful of kernels from Kayo, shaking his head at the antics of the others. Every time. The same argument played out, when the two of them actually preferred both flavours mixed in the same bowl. Why, John didn't know. He tolerated it for the free pre-movie entertainment though.

 Finally, everyone got settled. Scott sat between two pouting brothers who before the end of the movie would be snuggled up together, half falling asleep. Alan fetched frozen peas for what John suspected was more likely for Virgil’s bruised pride than injury from Gordon’s lumpy elbows, while Gordon was consoled over the indignity of being sat on at one point by the heavy lifter. Then more popcorn for reparations, when they noticed the missing bowl and Kayo’s smug expression. 

John stretched out on the couch, while the others were crowded on the next one. Kayo was perched above him, in reach of their bowl of popcorn. They all would move about through the movie, because no one round here could sit still for a whole hour-and-a-half minimum, and the hugs had to be shared around.

“So, what are we watching?” John asked, completely in ignorance of the forthcoming answers.

“Nemo! Or Moana! Blue Planet!” Gordon screeched, because he always quick to suggest marine themed ones at every turn in hopes someone would fall for it.

“It’s not even his turn,” Alan grumbled. “What about something with zombies? Not more boring fish.”

Gordon gasped, “An affront upon my friends! The kraken will have you for that!”

John rolled his eyes at the typical tinies dramatics. 

“Alan, you picked last time,” Virgil said, totally reasonably except for his stage whisper to Gordon of, “Get him, Squid!”

Aaand they were back in kahoots. Not even a record for the timing. 

Alan appealed to Scott to protect him with big, blue puppy eyes, and got away with it because he was still the baby of the family. Despite how he complained about ‘smothering older brothers,’ he was very happy to use the privilege when it suited him.

Long suffereringly, Scott said, “Gords, you can’t drag Alan down to the watery depths, you’d be bored without your partner in crime.”

John watched on. Very well behavedly, without starting any fights or causing any trouble, he’d like to add. Because he was the sensible, responsible one of this bunch.

“Eos,” John asked his comm, “Who’s turn is it to choose what we watch?” 

Then he added, “You did say you wanted to watch the next Star Trek, like we talked about.” He didn't quite wink at her, but only because that wouldn't have been very subtle.

“It’s your turn to choose, of course, John,” Eos replied, loud enough everyone would hear, “Star Trek would be, as you put it, awesome.” 

John struggled to keep a straight face. “Then Star Trek it is,” he said with all the authoritative gravitas of Thunderbird Five.

Scott face palmed. 

John shrugged. “Worth a try.” 

Everyone’s voices rose to argue with him. 

“Really, Eos?” Virgil questioned the AI, staring foolishly at the ceiling.

Gordon protested,“We just had Star thingy, the week before Alan’s Zombie Apocalyspe Twenty or whatever.”

“Hey!” Alan came to defend the merits of Zombie Apocalyspe Twenty or whatever.

Scott looked betrayed by his supposedly second eldest brother. “Are you an adult or are you eight?”

John huffed, “I totally could have pulled this off when I was eight.” 

“Awww, clever ickle Johnny,” Gordon heckled. 

“Don’t call me Johnny, plankton.” The fish would soon be fish food if he kept trying it.

“Did I upset itty bitty baby Johnny?” 

“Joooohnyyyy,” Alan joined in, because he wanted to be causing trouble. 

John was one more mangled rendition of his name from tackling them both, gravity be damned.

“How many times do we have to say that using Eos to back up your claims does not make them any more valid when she can’t be objective about it?” Scott interjected, in an attempt from stopped things from getting out of hand.

“Few hundred more at least.” John grinned. He hadn't forgotten certain remarks though. 

General groans followed all round. And another face palm. A few more grey hairs and a red forehead for Scott was in order.

“This time happens to be my choice,” Kayo stated. Out of the blue and right on target.

In the shadow of those innocuous words, John missed the mischievous look his sister and eldest brother shared. How the very atmosphere changed.

In synch, they burst out together, “Ghost Busters!” 

They sung it. Loudly. Complete with catchy jingle.

Alan and John looked at each other in horror.

Ghosts.

“I’m not scared,” Alan burst out. 

John settled back and crossed his arms. They’d have to try harder to get him. 

Harder than the big cartoon ghost logo that had appeared, hovering unnaturally in the middle of the room. Projected from the holo tv, of course. Like you normally watched movies with. Nothing spooky going on there.

Far too often people underestimated Scott’s ability to be a pain in the ass of a brother, and Kayo’s capacity for mischief. 

John was never going to make that mistake.

He made it through the introduction. This was going to be fine. The movie was positively ancient, the first of the franchise coming out way back in the 1900s. He looked it up on his tablet before Scott made him put it away because it was family movie time, and the movie was supposedly far more of the comedy genre than horror. 

John still wrapped himself up in one of the many blankets they kept by the couches, as if crocheted orange stitches could protect him from ghostly chills. Actually, scratch that, it was because he was cold, nothing supernatural about it.

The first ghost came up on screen. John absolutely didn't shrink back from it. He heard Alan’s gasp as he scrabbled for his own blanket.

The special effects were archaic. Definitely not realistic enough to be scary, John told himself. Nope, not scary at all. 

Ghosts weren’t real, after all.

No reason to be scared.

Something went bang and John yelped in alarm. He cast around for threats. Then landed on Virgil, picking up the empty popcorn bowl from the floor. 

He and Gordon had already migrated to sit on the rug together and yet somehow still managed to make a clatter.

Innocent brown eyes met John’s. They widened, like those of some sweet animal that could do no wrong. 

“Whoops,” Virgil said, “Sorry about that.” 

Appearances could be deceiving.

The family peacekeeper was as much a trouble maker as any of them.

John glared at him. 

Virgil raised a brow then cheerfully turned back to the movie.

To the ghosts. The glowing, comedically ridiculous pieces of animated filmic trickery that his brain still insisted were worthy of terror. 

John missed a few vital parts of the sequence of events whilst trying not to look at the projection. Then it exploded. Exploding ghosts. 

Ugh, all that ooze. John shuddered at the phantom sensation of it landing on him as it splattered everywhere.

The movie continued. More ghosts. More exploded ghosts.

Sudden noises from outside, normal noises of their island wildlife, made John jump. What had been a pleasant breeze now raised goosebumps where it trailed its icy fingers across his skin. 

He glanced towards Alan to see how he was handling it. John had looked out for his little brother on the mission with the threats of an actual ghost ship floating in the dead of space, and he’d make sure he was okay in the safety of their loungeroom too.

Alan had his shoulders hunched up to his ears, only his eyes and a few strands of bright blonde hair visible beneath the blanket. 

This situation called for being the bigger brother. John crossed the few steps to the other couch and sat down next to Alan. If he happened to also be closer to Scott, things just turned out like that.

Then the smotherhen paused the movie.

“If you,” Scott glanced at Alan and then him for that, “Really don’t want to watch the movie, I’m sure Kayo would be alright with picking something else.”

Alan shrugged, “I mean it’s not zombies but it is kinda funny. Let’s go for it.” 

Alan did also like watching horror movies, where scaring yourself silly appeared to be the entire point.

 John, not so much. It was the jumpscares. And the high percentage of plot important ghost-infested scenes. Though at least the contents of a book couldn't suddenly pop up and scream in your face. Not unless a bored Gordon got his hands on it, but John was not going to give him any ideas on that front.

John had had enough. So he did what he still always did when the world was too scary, whether or not he admitted to it. Go to Scott.

He threw away his pride and tucked himself into Scott’s side. Not matter how small the fear, big brother hugs made it better. 

He waved his okay for the movie to be unpaused, it wasn't scaring him badly enough he wanted to stop it all together plus he was enjoying family movie night. But that was no reason not to spend the rest of it right here. 

Scott’s arm went around John, pulling up the blanket and cuddling him closer. John curled up small, his legs beneath him, arms under the blanket and hugging Scott, resting his head on Scott’s chest. 

He might’ve hidden his face behind Scott’s shoulder any time anything ghostly came up. So what, everyone was allowed one illogical fear. 

In the middle of the climax of the movie, where either the ghosts would be busted or the ghost busters, Alan leapt up and ran to the other sofa. 

He hugged a very surprised Kayo around the middle and declared, “You’ve got to protect me. You’re my only hope, Kayo!”

John felt the vibrations of laughter as Scott retorted, “What’s that say about me?” 

Alan looked their big brother up and down. “Kayo would be better at kicking ghost ass.”

Which he was probably correct about.

Kayo sported a proud grin, over her surprise and settling into her role of big sister, which she’d learnt from the rest of them as she let them in as her family. “You’re damn right I would be.” 

She pulled Alan into her arms and rested her chin on his head. Alan happily snuggled closer.

“Language, the both of you,” Scott half-heartedly reprimanded, 

Alan’s eyes lit up, “But last week I heard you call that guy who deliberately ignored the safety protocols a ‘fu—”

“Alan!” Scott cut their youngest off sharply.

The cheshire cat smile on Alan’s face only grew. “Bet grandma would have something to say about that, wouldn't she? And the baking dish from yesterday’s lasagne still needs scrubbing, doesn't it?”

Scott glared at him, a hint of a pout at being called out for hypocrisy. 

Alan held out a hand, wriggling his fingers. 

Scott grumbled grumpily and leant across to hand over the last of his own popcorn.

Alan smiled sweetly, employing those not so innocent baby blues. “Thanks Scotty.”

John bit down on his lips to hide his own grin. He’d taught Alan much in negotiations and now he was his own certified menace. John was also close enough to hear the less than Grandma friendly words Scott was muttering under his breath.

What made it all the more funny was grandma’s own potty mouth and creativity with expletitives, where ‘Do as I say but not as I do,’ couldn't even come to her defence. 

Soon enough, or in John’s opinion, couldn't be soon enough, the ghosts were all busted and the end credits rolling. 

John yawned, warm and nearly sleepy by Scott’s side, in spite of featured phantoms, spirits, ghouls and all manner of monsters. He was safe with his brothers.

Everyone began to get up to head off to bed. Scott poked a very settled pile of Virgil and Gordon with his foot when they looked like they weren’t moving. 

Good nights were said with their usual accompanying hugs, then they all went up the stairs to their own of the row of bedrooms.

John snuck in an extra hug with Scott, before he dared enter his own. 

The lights flicked on straight away, courtesy of Eos. 

He checked all the corners and beneath his bed, because he wasn't Thunderbird Five for lack of definitely necessary precautions, and pulled on his pyjamas. Space ones, galaxy purple with shooting stars, of course. 

Maybe he also asked Eos to keep an eye out for anything outside the usual parameters, but that was just between them.

Then he snuggled beneath his blankets, making sure none of his limbs were sticking out in the cold, not at all because of the irrational thoughts about ghosts grabbing him by the ankles and dragging him out. 

John’s eyes slipped closed. He was nearly approaching soft, soothing sleep, when he jolted back awake.

There was a sound. 

Not a loud one, but then ghosts weren’t always loud. Sometimes they snuck up on you. That was the worst.

John pulled the blanket over his head when his bed room door whooshed open. 

A figure crept in. 

John froze, sleep deprived mind not thinking clearly, imagination too full of things that go bump in the night. Maybe if he stayed very, very still it wouldn't see him.

The shadow moved across the room, coming ever closer. 

John held his breath and hid.

Then the figure tripped on a book John had left on the floor and resolved into Alan swearing up a storm. 

He hopped, rubbing at his toes, not at all scary. The furthest from that in fact, his littlest brother who still hadn't had his growth spurt and was just a kid who played too many video games and flew a rocket ship and loved the stars as much as he did.

John exhaled with a heaving swoosh, unburying himself from his blankets. Somewhat. Better safe than sorry, and it was still kinda cold on the island compared to temperature controlled Five. 

“Hey John,” Alan said, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck, “Can I stay here tonight, there’s weird noises in my room?” 

John nodded hurriedly. “Best get Virgil to check it out in the morning.” 

He pulled the blankets back for just long enough for Alan to hop in, then huddled back beneath them.

“You’re scared too?” Alan was far too astute.

In the dark, hiding from imaginary things, John could admit more than he would in the daytime. 

“Yeah I am. But we’ll be okay because we’re together.”

Alan cuddled up to him, pressed as close as possible against John’s chest. John wrapped his arms around Alan, burying his face in his soft hair. 

He could feel Alan’s voice as quiet vibrations by his shoulder. “Yeah, we will be.”

Somehow, that made the corners far less likely to be containing any sorts of ghosts.

[whentherewerebicycles]

wow the day was SO much fun—we watched the the extended versions which I hadn’t seen since I was a teenager so it was a LONG day but the couple hosting had planned out a whole LOTR-themed menu where we ate first breakfasts, second breakfasts, elevenses, etc every time we switched the DVD. so I am extremely full but they were fantastic company and it was so much fun. I originally intended to stay for just a movie and a half, maybe two, because it was my first time hanging out with them without our other mutual friends present and I thought it might be too intense to spend like 12+ hours together, but actually it ended up feeling like the kind of intense bonding you do when you’re on a super super long road trip with people you don’t know that well?? like it felt like the extremely prolonged proximity meant we were able to get through the awkward early phase of hanging out with new people and now I just feel totally comfortable in their company, a stage that usually takes me a REALLY long time to get to. also they had one of their close friends there who I have met a couple times before and he’s very nice but also I think kinda awkward and shy so I felt less weird being kinda awkward and shy too because clearly they don’t mind hanging out with people who are sort of quiet sometimes in social settings. anyway it was so fun 😭 anyway I am feeling the euphoric high of extended social time with friendly people (why am I constantly having to relearn that I’m not as much of an introvert as I imagine myself to be lol) and I feel like there is real friend potential there which I am determined to capitalize on.

then I came home and listened to the baby’s heartbeat again… I have decided to let myself do that for 30 seconds or so every night if I need to until he’s big enough that I can feel him moving. I find it intensely reassuring and also I think it is helping me get through the loss-related block I had for basically the whole first trimester where I wouldn’t let myself think of him as a baby at all because it felt too scary. but now I can listen to him and hear my heartbeat next to his fast little galloping heartbeat and it is helping me picture him as a real little being in there. god also I don’t know if it’s the HB monitor or the first trimester hormone surge tapering off but I feel SO much less depressed and frantic than I did. on my drive home I was thinking gosh I need to remember this because I suspect I will be a likely candidate for postpartum depression/anxiety… I need to remember how much the hormones fuck with my head and I maybe need to be a bit faster about taking action instead of letting it slowly escalate to crisis/meltdown mode. I am hoping that having an established therapist relationship will help with that!! and maybe I can eventually come up with a plan with her for riding out those surges without losing my entire goddamn mind. idk I feel like the last couple days it’s felt like I had my brain back a little bit… like I was more myself than I’ve felt in a long time. I hope it sticks 😭

[bird-in-a-cage]

I REALLY enjoyed your last one, so I'd love to see what you would do with 47. for the prompt list!

So, I had a couple ideas for this prompt but I guess I can’t write happy things no matter how hard I try. 

Prompt list is here. Give me one! Doing these is super fun! Also on ao3, link in notes

#47: “Hold my hand until it’s over?”

Sunflower 

The room was white and sterile. It had that clawing smell of disinfectant that permeated everything. Naturally so of course. There was a generic painting of a meadow across the wall above the bed. A large window took up most of the outer facing wall, striped with pale cream blinds that blocked out the sun, only allowing it to trickle through the gaps and create long lines across the tiled floor, streaking across everything in their path. Steve rolled his hand in the sunbeam. The one attached to the arm not currently filled with needles, thin plastic tubes and wiring, hooking him up to a small white machine to the left of the plush plastic chair he was sat on. Billy took up a far less comfortable chair next to him. Both wore dark circles of exhaustion under their eyes.

It had been both a long and incredibly quick week.

One moment everything was normal. Winter was starting to turn into spring. The thaw in the ground was starting to melt away, grass peeking through what was left of the snow. Single sweatshirt weather. Steve had suffered from a bad cold all winter, it was just something he couldn’t shake despite how many scarves and extra layers he wrapped himself in, how many gallons of chicken soup he consumed. They both thought it was just that, just a cold. Maybe pneumonia at most, but even then that was a crazy exaggeration. Steve was fit and healthy. But then Steve had passed out in the street running errands while Billy was at work, struggling to breathe. The same small rasps he wheezed sitting in the sterile chair. A passing stranger had called an ambulance. 

He had been kept in overnight. Miles of tests were performed. 

It wasn’t just a cold.

Stage two lung cancer.

After that, time had stopped, but continued to spin at a rapid pace. Endless meetings with doctors, all of them spouting long words neither Billy nor Steve could understand, explaining different courses of action possible to take, roughly how long it would last. Survival rates. Billy tried to pay attention, he really did, but all he could notice was Steve, facing towards the window in every room they were put into and the gentle sunlight just beyond his grasp.

Steve had to call his parents. Neither he or Billy had the health insurance to cover what Steve needed to get better and no amount of overtime or second and third jobs Billy could take would fix it. That night in itself had been long. Steve stood in their small shared kitchen, leaning against the wall next to the fridge where the phone was, twirling the avocado green cord around his fingers, just listening to his parents talk. Berate more like. Billy had held him the entire time, his bigger arms around Steve’s smaller frame, hand cupped on his chest under a stolen Nirvana t-shirt right where they had both seen the black spot of a tumor on the x-ray sheet, as if just wishful thinking would make this all go away and get them back to normal. They’d been planning a summer vacation the week previous. Maybe Italy. Pretend they gave a shit about art and architecture and that it wasn’t just going to be a week of eating all the gelato they could get their hands on. 

Steve wore that same shirt in the chair, said it was his favourite the second Billy had stretched it out just enough to steal.

Billy tried to be positive. The Harrington family health care plan was pretty lucrative. It afforded them a private room at least, no one asking any questions as to why Billy was there when he wasn’t family. Billy knew he was the devil to both of them, stealing away their innocent son and turning him queer. They hadn’t been shy in telling him so in their one and only conversation back in the late 80s. 

Steve’s fingers flexed on the arm of the chair, trying to touch sunlight. They both knew this was going to be a long road even if just the chemo was successful, but there was no guarantee of even that. They’d both been warned of side effects, been given long spewing pamphlets of terrible news and consequences. Weight loss, fatigue, loss of appetite, loss of sex drive, nausa, sores, nerve problems, infection, hair loss. Billy had read through each one over and over, forcing information into his head that would help in the near future. Steve had chosen to ignore them.

A doctor came into the room to start the procedure. It would be a few hours so they’d best be comfortable. Steve didn’t move. Didn’t look as different bags were hooked up and the machine was turned on. Eyes closed in defiance as to what was happening to one side of his body started. Billy could only watch helplessly, gently stroke Steve’s bare arm, trying to be supportive as he could, whispering empty promises that it would all be okay, everything would be okay.

33% is a lot to gamble everything on.

Only when the doctor left the room, left them both alone in gentle streams of sunlight, did Steve open his eyes again, deep chocolate pools threatening to flood over for the first time since the diagnosis.

“Hold my hand until it’s over?”

Billy didn’t need to be asked twice

[a-lost-crow]

I made a ROTBTD Modern Au based off one of my other doodles I did of them. And there’s a twist to the AU. They have powers just because

There’s infodump about it below if y’all want to see. At the end it’s just a whole section of Jack in the au because I latch onto that mf so much

Just like from the original movies, Jack and Rapunzel have their powers

BUT Rapunzel can cut her hair and still use her healing powers. As she uses her powers her hair regrows.

Jack’s hair turns white whenever he uses his ice powers. And in this AU there’s a different power system on how people can see him.

Some doodles will have hair gradients on them either because they’re using their powers or I just want to draw it like that lol

The group all met each other at a Drama class. 

They didn’t get all together until they had a heated debate about improvisation

Merida made a brain cell plush for the group to take turns on who gets the brain cell

They lost that plush

No one has brain cells now

Hiccup, Jack, and Rapunzel attend Merida’s volleyball competitions

Rapunzel fought with someone in one of them

Merida convinced the other three to try doing volleyball. And they found it a great activity to pass time with

Sometimes they mess around and cheat by using powers or just playing rough with the ball

Merida is so shocked that Rapunzel willingly wants to go to the nursing field. 

She always thought Rapunzel is more of an artsy type, but it turns out that Rapunzel would rather take care of people rather than to please them

Merida and Rapunzel constantly bond over mommy issues. They would cry over mother characters who show care to their children.

Hiccup and Rapunzel would draw their friends in incorrect quotes

Merida and Jack would call them the horse girl duo

The other two can’t even argue about that because it’s all true. No matter how much they deny it

Merida and Jack always have the caring sibling vibes because of their younger siblings

Though if either of the friend group gets in trouble for doing mischief, Merida will be blamed for it

Merida has a big influence especially on Hiccup and it shows

Like the doodle I drew, Hiccup found a way to ratio Jack in the meanest way possible

People believe that Hiccup grew a thicker skin because of Merida. That’s true and a fact.

Jack and Rapunzel can live longer due to their powers but Rapunzel is the only one showing signs of aging

Jack retorts by making Prince Phillip jokes to her

I oddly like writing this duo a lot huh

Both of them fight scary creatures and spirits because their powers destined them to do so

This is the section where I talk about Jack Frost because my brainrot of him is indeed real.

Just like Jack’s old story, he unfortunately died at a young age (14) by saving his sister from the breaking ice

He then got powers but the only difference is that people still see him because they knew him before

Jack is still invisible by people who don’t know him. But you can easily see him if you mention him or hear about him.

The Guardians still have their powers but altered for the AU (just assume I know what I’m doing at this)

So they just found this little shit the day he tried messing up Easter

They kept him around and eventually adopted him for some reason, 

Mostly because at the same day he messed up Easter, the Man in the Moon chose him to be the next guardian.

Like the original movie, he denied the request but eventually he succumb to being both a guardian and a family member

And yes it is the generic North is the dad, Tooth is the mom, and Bunny is the older brother

Both parents are teachers in a school Jack is in

The thing is that he just died around last year so he’s trying to get the hang of being immortal and watching life pass by him. 

And knowing that there are times that he can’t always save people.

Anyways he tries to find the ups of it like making a family of snowmen or snowball fights with kids

He’s often fond to see how kids are and the way they act. It sort of reflects his life being taken away so soon. And seeing kids being happy reminds him that they still have a long way to go.

That part is what made him accept himself being a guardian

108 notes on this and I’ll make a fanfic based off this au. Also if you have a question you can ask in the ask box (AND THAT I AM HYPERFIXATED IN THIS FOR SOME REASON)

[moonlit-han]

stray kids’ reactions to you taking medication for depression & anxiety ↠ all members

genre: reaction word count: 2.4k warnings: discussion of depression and anxiety, description of panic/anxiety attack, swearing request: yes

a/n: hi anon! wow, this one turned highly personal really fast. so, this turned into a combination of your original request and how stray kids would react just knowing that you have depression/anxiety. i think how they’d care for and support you is a large part of their reactions to finding out, if that makes sense. i hope this brings you comfort~

✧ masterlist in bio ✧

bang chan

as with most things, chan would be very understanding

he’d just want you to feel and function the best you could

and not have to worry about whether you’re going to be able to make it through a day

he’d noticed when you first started dating that you occasionally withdrew into yourself

and needed time alone

chan didn’t really think anything of it 

bc he also kinda just turns into a hermit and hides to reset and recuperate

but when you’d told him that you take meds for anxiety and depression

his sneaking suspicion that you’d been struggling with something was confirmed

it all made sense!

chan would be immediately and absolutely on board to support you

he wasn’t gonna let those nasty depression demons get the better of his y/n

no! fucking!! way!!! ＼＼\٩(๑`^´๑)۶//／／

when you could stand it, he’d be really cute and cuddly to try to make you feel better

and he’d also research everything about the meds

on the days that you just needed to be left alone, he’d be worried 

bc he wouldn’t want you to be lonely or to need him and for him to not be there immediately for you

but sometimes even just the presence of another person is exhausting

even if it’s your partner

he’d always come back with flowers or your favorite kind of pie or curry or something else delicious or beautiful

all he wants is for you to feel like you can face the world

bc he’ll always be there by your side (♡‿♡)

lee minho

minho would be matter of fact and accepting about the whole thing

he wouldn’t be fussed

and would just accept that sometimes you’d be less than cheerful

and that it has nothing to do with him or his actions

while he wouldn’t necessarily understand the ins and outs of depression and/or anxiety,

he would still be totally committed to supporting you

he’d be glad that you have meds

because it’s hard for him to see you so down and feeling so blank

he just wants you to be okay

he’ll ask if you’re okay and what he can do

sometimes he just has to ask you a few times

just to be sure

for his own peace of mind

if any family, friends, coworkers, anyone gave you shit about your depression and anxiety

minho would be the kind of person to just:

Σ(☉‿☉✿)Σ(☉‿☉✿)Σ(☉‿☉✿) “hold my flower”and prepare to fight the world for you

alkjfhakjfdhkj

minho would always make sure that you have your meds on time

either going to pick them up from the pharmacy for you

or reminding you to get them yourself

he’d also remind you to take the meds on your especially bad days

when you can’t exactly think or do much else

while he jokes that cats are the best medicine for anything

minho knows and agrees that medication for mental illness and such is important

bc it helps you be able to function

but that doesn’t stop him from trying his best to make you feel energized and focused through other means!

you have a weekly picnic date, even after dating for two years

it’s the sweetest thing ever

and definitely helps (≧◡≦)

seo changbin

it was the first time you slept over at his place

(a really lovely evening with lots of sweet cuddling ｡ﾟ(ﾟ∩´﹏`∩ﾟ)ﾟ｡  )

(((oh no now i’m soft HHHH)))

and you’d left your bag sitting out in the living room

changbin had thought it would be nice if he got your things for you in the morning

and he also wanted to make you breakfast (✿◠‿◠)

so he'd gone to pick up your bag and saw the little pill bottle

and was just “oh, okay~”

when he'd come into the bedroom, changbin looked a little nervous?

bc he wasn’t quite sure how to ask you what meds you were taking

he wasn’t really worried or anything

he just wanted to support you with absolutely no judgement because meds aren’t a bad thing~

he was so understanding and immediately, like chan, researched everything he could about helping someone with anxiety and depression

and then made you breakfast bc that’s wonderful anytime at all

on the days you felt like you couldn’t get out of bed

(or simply couldn’t whether you wanted to or not)

changbin would be there

if you could stay in bed the whole day, then he’d stay with you

if you had to get up and actually do things, he’d do his best to help you

he’d make you food, help you shower, even pick out clothes for you so that you wouldn’t have to think

he’d understand that sometimes you need a bit of a prod to do things

changbin would definitely try his best to make those reminders as caring and lighthearted as possible

after all, you don’t exactly have control over when lack of motivation strikes

changbin would understand and know a lot of the feelings you have

and be able to empathize based on his own experiences

really, he would just continue to love you ♡

hwang hyunjin

hyunjin, oh sweet hyunjin

he’d be so understanding

and would feel really sorry for you

but not in a weird, pitying way

just sad that your brain had decided to betray you in such a way

*insert all the empathy here*

he knows all too well the feelings of hopelessness you sometimes feel

he’d be glad that you have meds, actually

and would even remind you when you have therapy (if you do)

he’d probably send you random “when you have anxiety/depression” memes

you’ve busted out laughing at inopportune times more than once from said memes

when you’re in a depressive episode, hyunjin would be like a cat

just curled up with you as much as possible

if you can’t stand to have someone near you

then, he’d still text you cheesy stuff like those ridiculous valentine’s day pickup lines that are, in fact, funny at any time of the year

oh and don’t forget about the utterly sincere, will-make-you-cry texts, love letters, post-it notes, notes written in blueberries on the counter, and even signs he’d write for you

one day, you’d even opened a lunch he’d made you to find a little note rolled up around your fork:

“hi hello yes you, the pretty one reading this! i love youuuuuu~ have a wonderful day, darling

p.s. remember to take your meds <3”

hyunjin’s gentle nature would be just what you needed

to support you

to love you

to care for you, not only emotionally but also physically

he’d be like a sheltering tree for you

grounded and calm with deep roots, but able to bend with whatever wind your depression/anxiety decided to gust through your lives

han jisung

jisung would…

well, jisung would just:

“AAAAAY, ANXIETY BUDDIES!!” (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ;;;;;;

ajkdfhaljkfghaljf

definitely not the response you’d been expecting

but it was perfect nonetheless

you spent an afternoon together just talking about how your anxiety and depression manifested

what helped you to cope

what helped him to cope

which meds you took and if there was anything jisung should be particularly aware of

he’d be really interested in just how your depression and anxiety manifest

bc in order to care for you and help

he wants to know what bit of your brain chemistry has decided to fuck shit up

(sometimes jisung feels like he needs to fuck shit up, too. but really? come oooon y/n’s brain)

he’d leave you notes reminding you to do things when your ability to focus goes completely out the window

you’d wake up to find one of those large sheets of poster paper taped to the ceiling above your bed, saying:

“i love you, even if you have depression/anxiety that makes you forget to do the dishes. again. you’re still my little gremlin <3”

jisung would give you any and all resources he has to help you

he’d probably even write songs for you

there’d probably a mixtape out there somewhere of him screaming at your depression and anxiety

telling them to leave you the fuck alone

bc you’re too wonderful to have to deal with that shit

your weekends together would be spent in the bedroom

under the covers

giggling your asses off

and cuddling

bc it’s dangerous outside the blanket  ( ｀^´ )

lee felix

felix would be so chill about it

you’d tell him and he’d just be like

“okay! so what kinds of toppings did you want me to put on this pizza again?”

you’d just kinda blink at him

you’d been worrying about what he’d say

and if he’d leave you or something

(thanks, irrational brain. love you. NOT! ffs)

as if lee felix would ever leave you,,,,,,

it was a relief not to worry about that

felix would still bundle you up in the biggest hugs ever

and smile his sunshine-filled smile at you

honestly, that alone should be enough to cure depression

but, unfortunately, it’s not

((*shakes fist at depression/anxiety*))

but with felix’s smile and meds, you’re feeling much better, thank you

felix would try to make life brighter for you after finding out

he’d understand that sometimes you want to do things but just can’t

there’s no rhyme nor reason to it

and it wouldn’t matter to him

bc he’d still get to spend time with you, even if it just meant sitting on the couch watching movies

felix would know that sometimes he would just have to make decisions for you

not in a controlling way

but just because your anxiety over making decisions and following through with things would get the better of you

he’d make sure you drink water and eat lots of yummy food

his deep voice is the most calming thing oh my god

and whenever you have an anxiety/panic attack

felix would immediately catch you up in his arms and slow dance with you through the entire episode

even if you’re barely able to stand, he’d hold you up and support you

just so, at an incredibly scary time, you’d have the most loving arms around you

kim seungmin

you were having a panic attack when seungmin came over one time

and you’d just kinda slumped against the wall as soon as he’d come in the door

aaaand you’d had to explain what was going on

but seungmin had just helped you breathe deeply

and eventually you’d calmed down to the point that you felt like

well, like a limp noodle (＠_＠)

you know that feeling when your body is so exhausted from having a panic attack

that you can’t exactly do much else?

yeah. that.

so, he would be glad that you have meds for your depression/anxiety

like jisung, seungmin would want to have A Stern Conversation with your depression/anxiety

bc he’s tired of its shit ψ(｀-´ )ψ

not because he can’t deal with it or you

no

because he hates to see you in so much distress

also,,,,,,

no one should have to feel like there’s no joy left in the world, irrational thinking rules their brain, and like they’re trapped in a cycle of dysfunction, no matter how hard they try

bc sometimes just trying isn’t enough

and seungmin understands that~

sometimes you just need a little outside help

he’d come up with all sorts of things he could do for you to help ease your anxiety

he’d write down all your triggers just so he’d know what avoid

or what to tell other people to avoid alkdfjhakljdfh

bc we all know seungmin is that person (-_-;)・・・

when he found out that you have trouble deciding on food at restaurants

he’d immediately printed out the menus to all the restaurants you loved

just so you could take your time deciding at home

and not feel overwhelmed

aksjfhlskfjdh what a good bean

seungmin is just a sweetie who wants the best for you, really

plus, when you’re feeling better….

the two of you can go on adventures!! (⌒▽⌒)

yang jeongin

jeongin would be a little baffled that someone’s brain could be that cruel to them

“you mean you sometimes just can’t be happy?”

“yep, or function, really. sometimes moving or getting out of bed or eating just isn’t a thing”

‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ )‧º·˚

“don’t worry about. i’m on meds for it so it’s not as bad”

(◕︵◕);;;;

“jeongin i promise it’s okay…..”

“HHHHHHHHHH”

you just ended up cuddling him and explaining how depression and anxiety worked

(or rather, how fucking annoying and, even, debilitating they are)

that made him happier bc he understood

he’d try to help you do things that help with the depression

like going for walks

or drinking enough water

definitely regulating your sleep

jeongin: “i know, i know, y/n! it’s hard but you haaaave to wake up”

y/n: “mmph” (￢_￢)

jeongin: *lightly swats you with a pillow* “get! up!!”

y/n: *grumpgrumpgrump*

nights are even harder alkjhsjkslkfjhs

jeongin, on the phone: “no you’re not being a night owl tonight. no! y/n~~~~ come on, i’m tired and wanna go to sleep”

y/n: “but i’m not tired!! i’m just gonna play one more round of this and then go to bed. i promise!”

jeongin, not having any of your shit: “uhuh….”

y/n, *sweats*: “i promiiiiiiiiise”

…………………

3 am

jeongin, via email: “this is an automated reminder to  G O  T O  S L E E P”

y/n: “shit.”

he’d want to be there to listen to you whenever you needed him

even though he doesn’t have much experience with this sort of thing

jeongin would do his best as a kind and properly aware person

like everyone else, he just wants you to be okay

[party-gilmore]

19 year old Dean sneaking out of the motel with clumsily smudged eye makeup and lipstick that Rhonda assured him via text would actually be pretty perfectly on brand and her sequiny borrowed clothes hidden under his dad's big jacket.

He doesnt understand why she told him to dress like this, but the panties thing was pretty nice, so he's willing to trust her... it helps that Dad was so damn wasted he knew there's no way he'd wake up while Dean was on the way out. Getting back in might be a different story, but he's got a change of clothes stashed in the Impala if he needs to swap out before sneaking back in.

Once he gets there, once Rhonda shows him a world he didn't even know existed right under his nose, it becomes more of a tradition. In fact, it becomes the only tradition he feels like he can share with these other people, these... these other queer people.

It's the only connection, the only experience, the only part of his strange hunter's upbringing that he feels like lines up with their own stories. The only part of their culture he feels like he can share, like he can actually be a part of.

Sneaking out, flashy skimpy gender bending clothes hidden from overbearing parents under layers upon layers, changing somewhere along the way or even in the tiny little restrooms of whatever skeevy dive is playing the movie in tonight's town of choice, sharing That Look with the other boys swapping their getups in the same dingy toilet, the confidence building as he strips layer after layer, tearing down his own defenses of Flannel and Denim and Dad's Jacket to raise a wall of freedom and expression and self love, and it always scary every time but in a good way, the way he feels at the top of a roller coaster, gripping the lap bar and so, so ready.

Then after, lingering in the afterglow of the camaraderie and companionship, the same feeling of mutual dread creeping across the little gaggle of young adults he finds himself drawn to as they start the slow trudge back to real life. The layers going back on. The Flannel. The Denim. Dad's Jacket.

The envy as they watch a lot of the older folks and even some of the younger ones - a little bit more every year, as time goes by - laughing and smiling and sparing a quick moment for a mournful but understanding glance in the direction of those who have to build their walls back up before getting into their cars. Heading back home as they are.

Unafraid not to change back.

He never talks about it. Not even when Sam mentions offhand about a show he attended once in college. Just makes a snarky comment about corsets and Tim Curry that has Sam punching him hard in the arm with a reprimand about being bigoted. That's fine. Dean would still rather that than have people know the truth. Not yet, anyway.

He doesn't talk about it to Cas, either. It's not just because it doesn't seem like it would be up the guy's alley, although he was admittedly tempted when putting together his list of things show the falling angel all of what humanity has to offer. He doesn't doubt that even if it's not the guy's cup of tea, Cas would still find it to be beautiful in some way. Probably like, as a tableau of humanity at its purest, most free, or some sappy shit like that.

No, the reason Dean doesn't tell Cas is because it's still too intimate of a thing for him, and with this... whatever it is that's been slipping between, growing stronger with each pass around, he's afraid that letting Cas into that part of his life would leave him tumbling to quickly, too recklessly, into something he knows he's not ready for. Besides, he hasn't been to a show in years anyway. Not since hell.

But then one day.

One day Jack is sitting at the kitchen table, nervously admitting that he's been talking to some kids in town, and he really likes them, and... and not just the girls. Not just one of them either. The whole group. And he doesnt know if that's weird or not and he doesn't know what to do and he doesn't know if that's normal... do other people feel this way? Are there other people out there who are... like me? Or is this... a nephilim thing. Am I the only one.

And for a moment Dean wonders if it would be weird, taking his kid to go see it. But then he thinks about some of the older couples he'd met and talked too, who'd been excited to introduce their kids around Dean's age. Like taking your kid out to a bar for their 21st. A moment to show them a world they could be a part of, as they grow into who they are. To help them find their place in it.

Dean rarely ever let himself wish for things to be Other Than They Are, trying to be enough of a realist to not get stuck in wistful what ifs and maybes. But in those moments? Those moments he found himself wishing for a parent like that. Not that Rhonda's introduction to it wasn't pretty damn great, but the thought of it being a parent, a... a dad, showing him a world he could be a part of and saying 'it's okay, I'm part of it too, go enjoy it but know that I'm here with you when you need me,' it was... well.

Dean clears his throat, realizing just how long Jack's anxious silence had gone on while his brain rattled around in the past.

"Hey kid, how uh... how about we catch a movie tonight? That older theater, the one that's... not the Regal, what's it called... uh, whichever. They're playing Rocky Horror tonight."

Jack's head tilts at the apparent subject change, in the way that reminds Dean so much of Cas, and for a moment he almost calls down the hall to invite the angel along.

But no, he settles back into his original plan. This is a Him And Jack kinda thing. This time, at least.

"A horror movie?"

"Haha, no, not quite," Dean grins, standing and ruffling the kids hair. "C'mon. I know none of my old stuff fits me anymore, so I'll need new gear anyway. I'll take you to pick out an outfit. Bring your ID."

[meilbox]

◟♡ like real people do.

relishing in the baby steps of your relationship with denki kaminari.

wc: 1.2k words.

pairing: denki kaminari + gn!reader

genre: fluff, angst if you squint, established relationship

warnings: denki + reader being in love and extremely doubtful at the same time i think? one (1) mention of mineta. cuz hes gross.

a/n: this came to me while listening to the song of the same name by hozier, and my brain just went: ah yes, dumb pikachu. <3 if denki is out of character i’m so sorry i just wanted to write soft fluff for him :,) @denkamis come and get yo juice. jk i love you here’s your denki fluff.

requests are open!

Being in a relationship was something so exciting, yet terrifying all at the same time. At least, that was what you’d thought initially. The idea of finding someone you cared about with all your heart, someone you wanted to cherish for the rest of your days, it was scary to think about. You never thought you’d find someone like that.

That was, until Denki Kaminari popped into your life.

The sweet, optimistic, electric hero of class 1-A. Your classmate. Your best friend. Your boyfriend. Finding out he’d harboured similar feelings towards you was like a dream come true. All those feelings you’d originally believed only existed in the books and movies were standing here, right in front of you. Flourishing in front of your very eyes. Though the confession was quite the spectacle, and a little awkward and embarrassing on both ends, you wouldn’t have it any other way.

The relationship you two had was much like a small plant. It was fresh, new, and needed lots of love and care. You couldn’t wait to see how it would grow between the two of you. Without fail, Denki managed to find a permanent place in your heart. Even if you two were still considered stuck in what they call “the honeymoon phase”, you wouldn’t have it any other way.

Even when teachers and friends alike would ask you questions that made you think for a minute, you’d never leave Denki. Often times it was small things like, “aren’t you two too young to say you’re in love?” or “aren’t you guys moving a little too slow?”, you and Denki were the only people who had a say in what went in your relationship, and you two had already had a couple conversations on the topic.

Small, shy glances towards one another in the middle of Ectoplasm’s lecture, tiny notes hidden on your desks by one another, gentle touches and brushes of hands against one another, anything you two did caused butterflies to flutter in your tummy, and your heart’s beat increasing drastically. Though, you couldn’t help but realize that you two hadn’t shared your first kiss quite yet.

It wasn’t a big deal between the both of you. You both had come to a mutual agreement that when you both felt ready to do so, you’d let the other know.

You knew it was silly to let others talk about your relationship the way they did, but it was something neither of you could brush off. Was it not normal to be three months into dating and not have a first kiss? What happened to ‘taking things at your own pace’? You’d even recalled Mina asking you about it, mentioning the nature he previously shared when hanging with people like Mineta.

Truth be told, before getting together, both you and Denki had been reluctant to act on your feelings for one another. Denki on one hand, was afraid you’d push him away because of who he’d hang around. He was never like that, and wouldn’t ever do anything to make you uncomfortable. Meanwhile, you were simply afraid that he’d reject you, opting to go for someone like Yaoyorozu or Jirou instead. But now that you two were together, reassurance and soft praises were a common occurrence between the two of you.

Currently, you two were in his dorm. Seated in between your legs was your boyfriend, sitting cross legged on the floor as you comfortably rested on his bed, arms draping on his shoulders, as he rubbed your arms with gentle movements. There was a movie playing on the screen of the tv in his room, but being in each other’s presence distracted you both from watching. The movie had practically been long forgotten as the two of you talked about anything and everything that came to mind. It was something you loved about Denki. Being able to talk without feeling judged.

“Say, Denki?” You speak once he’s done with his story, rousing him to lift his head to look at you, the same fond expression on his face he had whenever he spent time with you. He smiled.

“What’s up, buttercup?” He asks cheekily, causing heat to flood to your cheeks a bit. Day in and day out, he’d constantly batter you with cheesy nicknames, and even now, you still weren’t used to them. Using a free hand, you carded it through his golden hair with a tenderness saved only for your ball of sunshine. After some thought, you felt ready. You wanted to tell him how much you loved him. Kiss him and hope that maybe he can realize just how much he meant to you. He wanted all these things just as much as you did, but wanted to wait until you were certain.

A pregnant silence took over the room, nothing but the end credits of the movie playing in the background as you tried to find the right words for what you wanted to say next. Denki’s look of fondness quickly changed into one of slight worry at the sudden quietness that took over. Just as he was about to ask what was the matter, you beat him to it.

“How mad would you be if I said I wanted to kiss you now? I mean, I would hope you’re not mad, but it’s been months and we haven’t kissed yet. But I’m ready now, I feel ready.” You rambled, and Denki swore that he could feel himself just about ready to short circuit from there. He was buzzing with excitement. Denki couldn’t help but grin ear to ear. Even if he himself had been ready, he would wait until you called the shots. He wasn’t like how people may have depicted him as. He was so much better. He wanted to give you the world, and looked at you as if you’d hung the stars in the sky.

He couldn’t even find the words to respond. At first it had you almost worried you’d scared him into silence, but you were immediately relieved of your concern when the sweet melody of his laughs filled the room.

“Baby. Darling, sweetheart, angel! Oh my god. You have no idea how happy I am right now.” He told you, standing now so that he could bring you into an embrace. “I love you so much, you know that right? I don’t care when we kiss. I hope you know that too. When we kiss doesn’t change how much I adore you.” He tells you, his voice just above a whisper, and your voice catches in your throat as he pulls away just enough to get a look at your features. You let out a sigh of relief and joined in on his laughter, the sounds dying down as you two gazed at one another.

Without any other words, Denki leaned in, and you met him halfway, lips finally connecting to one another. The kiss you two shared had been full of feeling. Emotions of adoration, and so much more. You could tell he was trying to be cheesy and romantic with it, and you couldn’t help but smile against his lips.

After pulling away, you held him close, a giggle escaping your mouth.

“You’re so silly, I love you too.”

reblogs and likes are appreciated! please do not copy, plagiarize or repost my work.

[iwa-ch4n]

haikyuu sibling hcs

i am returning from the dead because of this, which has me going insane every time i think about it. there will probably be a part two of this. i simply cannot get it out of my mind

nishinoya’s sisters

all of them are older than him, but I’d say one is a year older than him (3rd year), one is four years older (3rd year of uni) and one is six years older (graduated a year ago)

the nishinoya’s are a Loud family. they are constantly yelling at each other, whether in an argument or just to talk to each other. they’re also all very messy, with the middle sister being the lesser of four evils by actually returning cups and dishes to the kitchen (she goes to all their rooms while she’s at it)

the eldest is the one who got nishinoya into volleyball. she played in high school, and she taught little 9-year-old yuu in the back garden as a reward for finishing his homework. she played non-competitively at uni and dropped it after, but she’ll still always practice with him whenever she’s home

the youngest sister dresses like an egirl and has the bleached streaks at the front of her hair. she had leftover bleach when doing it, so she convinced yuu to do a matching style, which is the origin story of the blonde streak in his hair

the youngest sister also plays football (soccer), and they help each other practice. they’re absolutely best friends.

all of them are Fiercely protective of each other. he likes to think he’s the one protecting them all the time but in reality he is the baby of the family and they would all rather die than let anyone so much as lay a finger on him

the middle sister is the only one with good grades, and they always say she has all the brain cells between the four of them. she also sleeps until 1pm (which doesn’t mix well with yuu’s tendency to wake up at 7am acting like he’s had three energy drinks) and went through a lot of boyfriends in high school (yuu tried to intimidate all of them, and failed, because he was 13 and short as hell). they get along better now she’s moved out.

the eldest is only a mature functional adult because she had to stop the rest from injuring themselves or each other constantly when they were kids. she’s the go-to for advice for all of them, but will always go to her brother when she needs to rant

the eldest got All of the height. she is a tall woman and she likes to use her siblings as armrests to make them feel even smaller. gives good hugs but also slaps her siblings around the head as a form of greeting

they taught yuu about style and respecting women. he chose not to listen when it came to style and wears ugly tshirts with funny slogans anyway, but he would beat up a misogynist.

asahi had a bit of a crush on the youngest sister for part of their second year and will NEVER admit it

overall they are chaotic, loud and messy but they get along really well, simultaneous hell yeah and big rip for the parents.

suga’s brother

ok listen he’s 7 (11 years younger) and babysitting him is part of the reason koushi became an elementary school teacher

he is o b s e s s e d with dinosaurs, tsukishima begrudgingly and secretly gives koushi his old, more childish dino-themed things to pass on to the kid

absolutely idolises his brother. wants to be Exactly like him. he rlly tries hard in school because of it (even though he has a pretty short attention span)

also wants to play volleyball bc of suga, and is his brother’s biggest hypeman

terrified of daichi but loves asahi. its asahi’s biggest win

makes suga watch disney movies with him (he doesn’t actually make him, its unclear which one of them enjoys it more)

kyoutani’s sister

she’s 23 (6 years older) and the COOLEST BITCH

has a sort of indie / grunge style, basically that fun y2k-ish style but with more chains and fishnets

plays electric guitar, has a bunch of stick and pokes, wears doc martens and is doing a masters degree in journalism.

please i’m in love with her

she had a massive emo / punk phase back when kentarou was 10 and thought she was the most amazing person alive. he started trying to be punk like her and it stuck

they would kill and die for each other but argue All The Time. especially when he was like 13-14. basically hated each other but now they very much respect each other

(she’s the only person he fully respects other than iwaizumi)

they would play fight all the time that almost verged on genuine physical fighting. they still do sometimes, and she wins 90% of the time.

for personal reasons i am going to say she’s bisexual

if you ever think kentarou would have anything negative to say about women or gays, you are wrong. if you say anything bigoted its an attack on his sister and he will beat you up about it

literally has to keep her away from the volleyball team because they met her once and oikawa tried to flirt with her and he is never suffering through that again

she helps him cut and bleach his hair and he helps her dye hers fun colours sometimes

overall the literal coolest person ever i would die for her

kuroo’s sister

okay I’d say she’s probably,,, 22. four years older.

the most put together person you will meet in your life. its honestly scary how organised she is. time management queen.

the science genes run in the family. just started a master’s degree in biology and plans to do a PhD

every teacher that taught her expects tetsurou to be just as smart and capable. it annoys him, even though he gets the grades, because they assume he’s gonna be just as well behaved and organised as her. that man has not handed in a homework assignment in his life.

she has Long Ass, Thick Ass Hair and if she ever lets it get slightly out of hand it looks like a Nightmare

still hates tetsurou for making her practice volleyball with him when she was 12. she missed the season finale of a show she liked and then got it spoiled for her because she was helping him and she still holds a grudge about it

may be put together, but she’s still fun. will buy tetsurou alcohol if he asks her to (not too much tho, so parents don’t catch on)

he tries to flirt with her friends and she hates him for it (the newer ones that meet him when he’s like 18 seem to enjoy it and she hates that even more)

is Very intimidated by tetsurou’s volleyball team, will still bully him in front of them tho. when her and kenma team up they are ruthless and if he didn’t know they were joking he’d probably cry

yaku pretended to have a crush on her for almost a whole year in second year to annoy tetsurou. he even got her in on it and ‘asked her out’. it was the longest and most worthwhile con he’s ever pulled.

[fandomsnfluff]

Hello, Noah! If it's not too much trouble, could I request a pillow fight turns into a tickle fight + "be careful what you wish for" with Simeon and, hehe, Lucifer, please? Platonic!

If you want, you can choose just one of them ! Also, if you want me to chance anything, please let me know! 😊 Thank you!

hi mia!! not a problem, of course i can do this, thanks so much for your request!! and LMAO THIS TURNED OUT SO LONG WAAA 😭

tickle prompts/scenarios

◦◦,`°.✽✦✽.◦.✽✦✽.°`,◦◦

Lucifer had found himself in a predicament. Again.

And amazingly, it wasn’t the fault of his brothers.

In fact, his brothers had absolutely nothing to do with this. Diavolo had invited him, and him alone, to somewhat of a mini-party with Barbatos and some of the Purgatory Hall residents. Solomon, Luke, and Simeon were also going to attend; it would be a nice getaway from his 24/7 full-time oldest brother job. He let out a sigh of relief when he approached the castle entrance, but it was short-lived; he knew that he would very soon have to return to his normal life once the party was over.

In fact, Diavolo had invited the residents to spend the night if they wished. As nice as the invitation was to Lucifer, he didn’t think he could get away with spending even a single night away from his six rowdy younger brothers. He needed to be there to assess them, particularly Asmo and Mammon, for their “night routines,” but in very different ways. Asmo always asked him what kind of lotion he should use before going to bed, and he needed to monitor any crazy, late-night spending Mammon may plan to do.

However, it wasn’t completely off the table. If he decided he really wanted a break, he could always text Mammon to make sure he got everyone in place for the night. He shuddered at the thought, though; why, oh why did the second-born have to be so immature? He figured Satan may be a better candidate, the one brother besides him with at least a fraction of a brain cell, but alas, that thought as well made his skin crawl; contacting the one he had a bit of an internal rival with would definitely put a nick on his pride.

But he shrugged off the thoughts; it was now time to enjoy some nice tea and warm pajamas with a few of his closest friends.

Of course, Lucifer could never, ever let his brothers see him walk around so casually in his pajamas; he would never hear the end of it. So he just brought them as a change of clothes with him to Diavolo’s castle.

“Ah, you’re here,” Barbatos commented as he opened the door in response to Lucifer’s knock. “I’ll take you right over to the dining hall. Lord Diavolo and the others are waiting for you there.”

“Thank you,” Lucifer responded, following the butler into the rather large, well-kept dining hall. The long table in the center of the room was decorated in lighter shades of blues, yellows, and reds, which was a bit different than its usual red-and-gold scheme. He widened his eyes when he noticed a jumble of balloons tied to a table at the side of the room, which appeared to be an appetizer table with various kinds of teas, cookies, and other goodies. Yet another interesting contrast to the elegance of the room (and, well, let’s be honest, the whole castle). Diavolo definitely had his moments, didn’t he?

“Good evening, Lucifer,” Simeon greeted him respectfully. “Barbatos made his special tea earlier, and it’s really good tonight. Would you like some?”

“Good evening to you as well,” Lucifer responded. “That sounds lovely.”

Barbatos quickly reached over and grabbed the tea kettle, which must have come fresh off the pot, before walking to Lucifer’s side of the table and pouring it into his teacup. When it was halfway full, a sharp voice called from the other end of the room.

“Barbatos!” It was Diavolo. “Don’t feel pressured to serve them all like that tonight. We can help ourselves, and you can feel free to join us.”

“Yes, my Lord.” There was no hesitation in Barbatos’ voice as he placed the kettle back on the table before turning to Lucifer. “Would you be okay serving yourself?”

“Not at all.” Lucifer fought back the urge to tease the butler by saying ‘you heard your master,’ but he stopped himself.

Diavolo was humming to himself as he walked over to an empty seat near Lucifer, letting out a content sigh as he sat down. It wasn’t until he sat down that Lucifer noticed what he was wearing: a very large black hoodie, plaid red sleep pants, fuzzy gray slippers, and, of course, red bunny ears. Lucifer was truly shocked, but at the same time, he had to bite back a laugh.

“I have so many ideas for tonight,” Diavolo exclaimed, reaching for the tea and giving Lucifer a nod as a greeting. “As soon as we finish up here, we can maybe play some cards or chess and go watch a movie. What do you all want to do?”

“I’m good with anything, as long as we get to watch a movie,” Simeon commented, taking a bite of one of the special newt cookies.

“Me too!” Luke agreed.

“I’m just enjoying this tea at the moment, so I’ll think about it for a bit longer. But I’m okay with anything,” Simeon commented after taking another sip from his teacup.

“I’m also okay with anything,” Lucifer added.

“Speaking of which, Lucifer...” Diavolo narrowed his eyes, looking at his friend. “You’re not in your pajamas. You wouldn’t happen to not dress up because of your pride, would you?”

Was that a teasing note in his voice? Yes, there definitely was. Lucifer looked away, fighting a slight blush rising in his cheeks. “My brothers would question me until the day I die if I walked out of the house wearing pajamas so freely like you all are,” he muttered. “I was planning on changing here, if that’s all right with you.”

“Feel free,” Diavolo responded. “You can go up to my room now if you like.”

“That sounds good.” Lucifer stood up, making sure to grab his belongings and respectfully nodded his head to everyone else in the room before heading to Diavolo’s room.

It didn’t take long to sniff out the room and get changed. Lucifer admired himself in the mirror for a bit; how long had it been since he had worn actual pajamas? He wanted to do it more often, though; they were too comfortable to completely shove the thought away.

The rest of the night actually didn’t drag by like Lucifer had originally feared; the group of six managed to get through a game of Uno (or the Devildom version) relatively quickly, and by the time they were done, they could sense the urgency to watch the movie radiating off of each other.

Diavolo led the way to the movie room, which proved to be another surprise for Lucifer. He had lost count of the number of times he had gone into that room, but it was completely decked out in pillows, blankets, and other soft chairs and couches that looked completely new.

“So soft!” Luke whispered as he fell over into a pillow, nuzzling his face into the fluff. Simeon chuckled before taking a seat on the couch next to him. Lucifer decided to join him there, unable to hold back a soft sigh as he practically sank into the furniture.

Lucifer barely knew he was dozing off until he heard a rather loud and uncharacteristic “oof!” from Simeon, who was sitting to his left. He was a jolted back awake with a start, sitting up to get a better look at the scene.

“How could you, Luke?!” Simeon sobbed dramatically, grabbing a pillow and slamming it down on Luke’s body. “I thought we were friends!”

“We were until I started this fight!” The angel boy shot back, but the two quickly dissolved into laughter as they continued to attack each other with pillows.

Nostalgia soared through Lucifer’s body watching the scene; he couldn’t remember the last time he had a good, substantial pillow fight with his brothers. Mammon and Asmo wouldn’t hesitate to start one normally, so why had it taken them so long to? Was he that scary, or something?

He was broken out of his thoughts when something hit him in the face again, just as he had begun to doze off. Immediately he knew what had happened, and Simeon, the culprit, instantaneously knew that he had messed up. And he had messed up hard.

“L-Lucifer...?” Simeon whispered in a small voice. “I-It was an accident--”

“Join us, Lucifer!” Luke interrupted, calling to the demon excitedly.

Lucifer smirked, feeling the hairs at the back of his neck rise. He knew he was just being playful, but it was still something his body did when it sensed impending danger. He grabbed the closest pillow to him and immediately held it up as he approached the two angels. He smirked down at Luke. “Be careful what you wish for!”

The room exploded into a pool of feathers, flying pillows, and demons and angels jumping up and down and running away from one another. Unfortunately, Lucifer didn’t get to strike at Luke, for Simeon hit him with another pillow just as the two angels stood up and began running around the room, trying to get away from the demon. But Lucifer was relentless; he was determined to hit someone with a pillow tonight. Someone truly deserving of his wrath.

He did pause, however, when he noticed that the angels were becoming out of breath; Lucifer wanted a fair fight where he didn’t have to wail on already exhausted opponents. The three of them plopped on the couch together, and as soon as Lucifer noticed Simeon getting his energy back, he sneakily reached for the closest pillow, hoping that the angel wouldn’t notice. But Simeon was faster; he must have noticed the demon moving at the corner of his eye, for before Lucifer could strike, Simeon had reached for his outstretched leg, lightly skittering his fingers along the bottom of his foot.

Lucifer let out a high-pitched noise of surprise, something that sounded between a yelp and a squeak. He heard Luke gasp as he flinched his leg away so hard that he found himself rolling over the edge of the couch. His head landed on the pillow in his arms, however, and he quickly flipped over on his back before pulling his legs back towards him.

Simeon and Luke were staring at him, pure shock on their faces. Lucifer could barely stand to look at them; he knew that he was blushing, and it was so unfair that they had to find out about...this, in this way.

“Lucifer...” Simeon breathed out, sounding beside himself. But he had a pillow in his hand, and little by little he was inching towards the flustered demon. “Don’t tell me...”

“No.”

“That you’re..”

“No!”

“Ticklish?”

“Stop this nonsense right now.”

“You’re not getting away from me.” Simeon now had a smirk on his face that made him look like anything but an angel. Before Lucifer could protest any further, the pillow that the other was holding was thrown down onto his face, and the angel began his attack on the demon’s lower body.

Lucifer was about to let out a squeak before his hand came up to shield his mouth as the angel began to torture his knees and his feet. He could barely hold back a muffled squeal as the fingers raked up and down the arches of his feet, quickly moving to attack the undersides of his knees and back again. The demon kicked and thrashed his head from side to side, trying to dislodge Simeon, but despite him being one of the strongest beings in the whole Devildom, he still couldn’t manage to shake the angel off of his legs.

“S-Simeon...!” Lucifer gasped at a sudden break in the attack when the angel reached up to playfully throw the pillow on his head again. “Y-You better stop this right now, or I’ll--”

“Or what, Mr. Ticklish?” Simeon teased. Who the hell does he think he is? Right as he said this, he reached up to playfully skitter his fingers along Lucifer’s lower sides.

That was what did it; a high-pitched squeal ripped from the demon’s throat, and even as he tried to muffle his voice with both of his hands at this point, the laughter just wouldn’t stop; he never knew that such a light motion could elicit such sounds out of him like this. He didn’t remember ever being this ticklish, not even as a kid. At least this wasn’t Diavolo; if it had been the demon prince himself, he knew he would be absolutely screwed. But the motions still tickled like hell to him, regardless if it was coming from Simeon or not.

“Riled up now, are we?” Simeon teased, letting up on his attack. Beneath him lay a tired Lucifer, a pillow half-covering his face and chest, panting from the attack. At first, the demon didn’t respond verbally; his reply to the attack came in physical form, just like what Simeon did to him originally.

“You will pay for that.” Lucifer’s voice came out as a low growl, and Simeon was about to call for help until it came out as a strained laugh.

“W-wahahahait, Luhucifeheheher!” Simeon cried as the demon reached for his exposed sides. As soon as the contact was settled, the angel let out a shriek of laughter and began to squirm, kicking and punching and doing whatever he could to get himself out of Lucifer’s friggin’ iron grip. It was needless to say that the angel was much, much more ticklish than he was.

The whole rest of the night was filled with tickles, laughter, pillow wars, movies, and funny stories. But Lucifer didn’t mind. He even called up Mammon to tell him that he was going to stay the night. His mood was up for it, and he had his group of very close friends to thank for it.

[louiseleblancdiggory]

Spooky unpredictableness

31 Days of Spooktober

Day 4/31

Cassian fully believed his girlfriend was a demon.

Not in the bad sense of the thing, even though whenever he told her that she would reply by saying that there wasn’t a good sense in that. No, Cassian just believed that Nesta could not be human. There was a series of reasons to that, but the biggest one was that his girlfriend couldn’t be scared.

Haunted houses, horror movies, pranks, jump scares… Nothing drew more than a simple frown from Nesta. Cassian just knew that she could walk into Hell itself and probably scare the Devil before being scared by him.

And so obviously, Cassian spent the whole month of October trying to scare her.

He didn’t do it as much during the rest of the year, but there was something about Halloween season that just made him insanely tempted to giive Ness a good fright. She wasn’t like Feyre who hated scary pranks, or like Elain who would scream and laugh seconds later. Nests didn’t react, and so she didn’t particularly care if Cassian tried to scare her or not.

“I’ll get you this year.” Cassian said, eyes narrowed as he stared at Nesta.

She only smiled sarcastically over her coffee mug, reading the news on her phone. “You couldn’t make me gasp from surprise even if your life depended on it, sweetheart.”

Cassian jaw fell slightly, and he crossed his arms over his chest. “I’m sorry?”

Nesta raised her icy grey-blue eyes to him, a light-brown eyebrow raised. “We know each other for seven years. We date for four. Tell me one time you got a reaction like that from scaring or surprising me. Let’s be honest, Cass, I can’t be scared and you have become predictable. It’s ok, it’s how our relationship works.”

“I will surprise you.”

“Uh-huh.” Nesta murmured, going back to her coffee and news.

“I mean it.”

“Of course you do.” Nesta’s ironic smile only grew. “Why don’t you go to Halloween spirit buy a Michael Myers mask? You can try catching me when I’m getting out of the bathroom. No, wait, this is not very original. Haven’t you done this already too? Like three times.”

Cassian huffed, getting up from the table. “You’ll see, Nesta Archeron.”

“Want to bet?”

He, stupidly and recklessly, assented. “Yes, I actually do.”

“Very well, name your conditions.” Nesta’s face was probably hurting from her smile.

“If I make you obviously surprised, and I mean even a gasp, I win. If by the end of the month this doesn’t happen, you win. The winner can ask anything and the loser has to say yes.”

Nesta raised her eyebrows, low laughs coming out of her. “Oh, I’m in. You’re so fucked.”

He walked out of the kitchen, Nesta’s laughs following him until he closed the bedroom’s door.

He would never admit it to anyone, especially to Nesta, but she was somewhat right. It’s not that Cassian had never tried to surprise her, but Nesta was always one step ahead, always noticing stuff he thought he had hidden well. She knew him way too well, and getting anything that would be actually surprising to her was near impossible.

And then there was the fact that Nesta couldn’t be scared. It wasn’t something solely based on Cassian, but just in general. Both Feyre and Elain would always tell the rest of their friend group that Nesta was never scared, especially during Halloween when she knew things were fake. She had been a serious kid, and nothing, absolutely nothing, would even force a surprised gasp out of her.

He was dating a goddamn evil genius, and he would need to step up his game a lot if he wished ti get Nesta to at least widen her eyes.

And so Cassian paced his room all throughout breakfast time. He mentally annotated some ideas for actual scares, but nothing that he truly believed that would make Ness surprised. After thirty minutes of nothing, he sighed, throwing himself on their bed.

At least he hadn’t bet with her.

Oh, wait.

—————

Nesta adored Halloween.

People usually believed that because of her serious demeanor, she was the type of person to hate the holiday, but to be honest, since she was a kid Nesta had loved Halloween time. She liked the autumn aesthetic, the elaborated decorations, the horror movie marathons. She loved the candy sales and how everyone was minding their own fucking business and not shoving their noses of hers.

Above all, Nesta adored Halloween because it never scared her.

Since she was little she would watch slasher movies and while her sisters squirmed and screamed, she was intently watching the story. Haunted houses in amusement parks were fun because of other people’s reactions, because they also always failed to make her jumpy. Spooky prank wars with her sisters was easy because they could never scare her, but were easily scared by her.

In short, Halloween was Nesta’s holiday and she made sure to enjoy every single second of October.

It also didn’t hurt how hilarious she found her boyfriend trying to scare her every year. At this point, he had already tried everything from masks to fake insects, jump scares to fake blood. He would even sometimes run out of ideas and repeat the same prank as if she would have magically grown terrified of plastic spiders. She found his dedication both cute and funny, but also effortless. She had gone twenty four years without falling for these pranks, and it was very unlikely that things would change now.

Sometimes she thought about asking Cassian to stop doing them. It was a waste of his money, but he seemed to enjoy them so much that Nesta just couldn’t bring herself to burst his bubble. There was also a very smug part of her that thrived on always winning their unspoken Halloween matches, but she’d never say this out loud if only to maintain her cold and detached nature about these childish pranks.

All those factors together were what made her, in the following morning, taste her sugar before pouring it into her coffee.

She turned to Cassian who was sitting at the table and intently not looking at her. “Really, Cassian? Salt instead of sugar? Not even my dad would fall for that one.”

Cassian scolded, but refused to look at her. Nesta simply smiled and laughed smugly, looking around the cabinets for what was labeled salt but was actually sugar.

“You got it on a Buzzfeed article, didn’t you? I told you those things will fry your brain and it’s not like you have neurons to spare.”

His head whipped in her direction, eyes narrowed and defiant. “I will surprise you, Nesta Archeron. You’re in for a fucking ride if you think not.”

Nesta smiled coyly, letting her coffee mug on the counter as she slowly walked to Cassian. “Really?”

“Yes.” His jaw was tight, but there was something about his expression that was slightly off, that was slightly different.

Ignoring the fact that she was probably being paranoid, Nesta laughed, sitting on Cassian’s lap and putting her arms around his shoulders. He was stiff under her, something that only made her laugh once more. “Cass, our relationship is not based on surprises. As much as it pains me to say, since the beginning you understood most of me, and I understood most of you. And that was a long time ago. There isn’t any aces to play, no rabbit inside the hat. Our relationship is transparent and it’s good that it’s this way.”

“You can still surprise me.” He grumbled.

“You are easily impressionable.”

“Fuck off.” Cassian’s brood broke, and he let out a huffed chuckle. “This has not convinced me to stop, just so you know.”

Nesta jumped off his lap, smirking as she went back to grab her coffee. “I never hoped it would.”

——————

It was October 31th finally.

As much as Nesta still believed she couldn’t be surprised, Cassian sure as hell was trying. Worst was, he wasn’t trying hard, he was just trying a lot.

In the past year the pranks were elaborate and hard to build, but this time they were… classics.

Fake bugs inside your drawers, mayo instead of toothpaste, garlic inside the Oreos. The type of shit that would make you want to throw the thing away, but not really the type of stuff to frighten you. He did buy some masks and put them in random places of the house to scare her, which obviously didn’t happen. He tried to get her scared by doing jump scares after they watched a horror movie, by turning on and off the lights whenever she was alone in a room. He tried the whole mirror thing that, whenever the bathroom was too hot, the words “help” would show up in it.

It was funny and he obviously thought about it, but there was something missing. There was something that was essentially Cassian not being put into those pranks. It’s like he was actually getting his ideas from Buzzfeed, and he would definitely know that none of those things would actually surprise her.

To be honest, she was somewhat disappointed. Nesta would never say it out loud, but she liked the pranks. It was a part of her relationship with Cassian since they started dating— before even— and this year it had been… boring, predictable.

Exactly what she had said it would be.

As she padded to the kitchen on Halloween morning, Nesta wondered if Cassian was doing it on purpose because of what she had said. Wondered if he had made it purposefully predictable to make her regret her own words.

She stopped in front of the fridge, shaking her head. This wasn’t Cassian’s style, no. If he was pissed about what she had said, he would have talked to her. The one in the relationship that usually brooded and was middle vindictive was her. A lot less than she was in the beginning of the relationship, and something she was constantly working on. It wasn’t that she was a mean person, but Nesta had learned to bottle her emotions so much, had learned to treat everyone so coldly as a defense mechanism, that sometimes she would panic and those would be her initial reactions.

It was a slow process— becoming more and more the person she wished to be. A lot of it had been done because of the amazing support she had from Cassian and from her sisters, but Nesta was also proud to recognize that a lot had to do with only herself.

No, Cassian wouldn’t be cruel and do something like that. Nesta knew this because, during the years that she took to overcome her trauma and get to know herself more, she had also gotten to know Cassian more. And he was never cruel, never mean.

Nesta shook her head, clearing her head of thoughts as she opened the fridge.

She could only stare at the jar in front of her, torn between sighing or laughing. She grabbed it, turning around to look at Cassian who had just entered the kitchen. “Really, Cass?”

Cassian huffed, spreading his arms. “Not even a gasp?!”

Nesta chuckled, setting the jar down on the counter. It was big and filled with a green liquid. What was supposed to be scary was the head inside that looked a lot like Rhysand’s. “Bold of you to assume I wouldn’t be happy if this was actually Rhys’s head.”

Cassian laughed, shaking his head. “You’ve got to let the grudge go.”

“I have!” Nesta deadpanned, examining the jar. “Most of the times, at least.”

“Well, looks like I failed.” Cassian said, and Nesta raised an eyebrow at his tone. He didn’t sound defeated, he sounded smug.

“Yes, you did.” Nesta announced, eyes narrowing at Cassian. “What the fuck are you smug about?”

His smile widened. “Nothing.”

“Fuck off, Cassian. If you honestly think I’ll let you surprise me on the last day, you’re mistaken.” Nesta rolled her eyes, turning back to the fridge to grab some grapes. “If you honestly think I’ll—“

And right there, for the first time in her entire life, Nesta found herself absolutely shocked when she turned around. A loud gasp left her mouth, the grapes she’d been holding falling to the ground and rolling all the way to where Cassian was kneeling, a complacent grin on his lips. He was holding a small black box, a simple silver band with small black diamonds on it.

“Well, well, well, Nesta Archeron. If that gasp wasn’t like fucking music to my ears.”

She placed a hand over her mouth, eyes wide. “Cassian…”

“If I remember our bet correctly, which I do,” he winked at her, holding the velvet black box higher. “I believe I had the right to anything I want and you have to say yes.”

Nesta let out an incredulous laugh, her head shaking. “I should have guessed that your shitty pranks weren’t because you were tired.”

Cassian threw his head back and laughed. “No, they weren’t. I thought that by making your expectations for pranks this year be lower, this whole thing would be more surprising.”

“Are you proposing to me only to win a bet, you asshole?”

Cassian grinned again, hazel eyes shining against his brown skin. “No, but you need to admit it has come in handy. I had been planning this for weeks, and then you asked if I wanted to bet I could surprise you. Honestly, you set yourself up to this. And I haven’t proposed yet, chill a little, woman.”

Nesta laughed again, eyeing Cassian. He was still wearing only the shorts he wore to bed, his shoulder-length hair a mess of curls. His face still looked slightly puffy, his usual sharp cheekbones red from happiness. Nesta guessed she wasn’t much better; she was wearing one of his white shirts, light brown hair falling down to her shoulders.

“So, are you going to ask or not? I don’t have all day.”

“So bossy, what am I getting myself into?” Cassian said ironically, but soon his face softened, smile becoming loving. “Nesta Archeron, even though you don’t have another option that it’s not a yes, would you give me the pleasure of marrying me so I can spend the rest of my Halloweens trying to scare you?”

Nesta chuckled merrily, nodding. “Yes, and even if I wasn’t forced to say yes because of this bet, I would have said it nonetheless.”

Cassian got up, immediately sliding the ring into Nesta’s finger, his other hand sneaking around her waist. He pulled her against him, a huge smile overtaking his mouth as he pressed his lips to hers. “I know you would. You’re not that unpredictable either, sweetheart.”

.

.

.

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A/N: Oh, hello Nessian, it’s been a while... I had this idea during September and didn’t know who to give it to, but I realized today how good it fits what I imagine the Nessian long term relationship would look like! Hope you guys like it and about the kinktober: I know it was supposed to be Sunday but I was procrastinating so it’s gonna be here around 3 AM probs

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[forbidding-souda]

Deaf S/O with characters I headcanon knowing ASL

ASL specifically, though ASL and sign language go interchangeably with this headcanon, this post specifies things to ASL.

And this S/O is deaf AND signs ASL, doesn’t specify anything else otherwise I’d be specific about it :)

(gender neutral S/O ofc ofc)

-Mod Souda

Rantaro Amami

Something he noticed about you quickly is how loud you were.

You two moved in together, and it was never something he would have predicted.

You’ll go to get food at midnight and slam the cupboard close, scaring him awake.

You always eat at midnight too, it’s unusual to him.

He will wake up with you absent in the bed and be like oh no.

He’s a very calm, quiet person.

He will never tell you about your volume, though, in fear he’ll embarrass you.

When you first met, after learning you were deaf, he definitely watched a lot of videos on deaf culture.

He also developed a crush on Nyle DiMarco.

I mean what.

If you ask he doesn’t know who that is.

He’s very educated on the manor, and often corrects people when they refer to you incorrectly.

But the way he signs is very textbook-y.

He signs 16 like ten-six, which bothers you.

Does NOT keep up with sign language slang.

You signed see you later to him and it blew his mind.

You tried to show him the sign for emoji and he went ???

The sign name you give him is ‘beautiful’, and then it ends with an R.

Kirumi Toujou

You often have to ask her to repeat herself to get the message of her words across, since she hardly uses facial expressions.

She learned ASL for a job once and forget a lot of it.

You enjoy teaching her, definitely.

Because teaching her means she’ll sign like you.

One time she signed Sunday a different way than you and you went ???

“Where did you learn that.”

“... signing saavy.”

“Nice.”

The best part about her is that she is actually good at the grammar structure.

It’s actually quite surprising that you don’t have to simplify your sentences.

Going shopping is fun with her, too.

That’s where she specializes; in food.

She can name almost everything in the food aisle.

Can easily understand your excited rambling but can’t seem to sign fast herself.

Slow and delicate, it’s cute.

Worst part for her is how loud you have the TV.

She likes doing laundry in silence, but that’s hard when she can hear the conversations of characters all the way from the living room.

She asks you to turn it down.

“Sorry.”

You don’t.

She is always working hard as the SHSL Maid, so you hardly get to see her.

But whenever she returns she always brings you a small gift.

Sometimes foreign coins or keychains.

Her sign name is ‘business’ with a T, because you met her while she was working and she was very focused!

Peko Pekoyama

Hid the fact that she knew ASL from you.

It was because she’s bad at it.

You assure her that to the Deaf community, it’s the effort that matters.

She has met a lot of deaf people because of you and gets scared to sign to them.

She even blushes in embarrassment.

But if you ask for help in public than she’ll be happy to assist.

That’s rare, though, since you almost always find a way to communicate with hearing people who don’t sign.

Something she enjoys is the stillness of your house.

The Kuzuryuu household always has some type of noise going on.

Yours is almost always quiet.

She isn’t afraid to sign to you when you’re home alone.

You like teaching her signs like “wow.”

Seeing her sign them in a neutral face is funny to you.

“Facial expressions matter to my language, Peko!”

She gets flustered when you correct her.

Her sign name is a motion that signifies her braids, with a P handshape.

You always love playing with her hair.

She thinks it’s annoying.

“I want another name sign.”

“No.”

She’ll crawl into bed next to you and then feel you messing with her hair.

She huffs, “I thought you were sleeping.”

“I know.”

Sonia Nevermind

Different types of sign language was always her favorite thing to learn.

She loves Deaf culture and always tries to involve herself in it.

Meeting you made her even more excited once she learned you were deaf.

You thought it was really weird until she explained that she studied the culture.

You were impressed, especially since she had never talked to one in person before.

She even started signing slang and it blew your mind.

You gave her a sign name the first day you met her, and she almost passed out in joy.

Princess with an S, and she thought it was awesome, even though it was basic.

She told all of her classmates she got a sign name.

When a bunch of Ultimates came up to you asking for a sign name you went ???

Well now you have to bring her to a Deaf convention.

When she attends ballroom dances, she always brings you along so you can meet people of her culture as well.

She keeps you by her side, holding your hand the entire time and explaining what is happening and why.

She secretly wants to be an interpreter.

Dating her is really fun, of course, because she really wants to learn.

Makes a law that says interpreters are a necessity in her countries broadcasts.

Whenever she travels, she always sends you selfies with the ILY sign.

It’s her favorite.

She never stops thinking about you.

She works hard to make laws to the Deaf community in her country feels welcome.

Gundham Tanaka

Originally learned sign language to teach to his pets.

Never knew he would have to use it to talk to someone.

Until Sonia introduced you to him and he busted out in ASL

Sonia and you going ?? OH UH HI YEs

Signs as dramatic as you think he would.

Sign name is literally devil.

Asked specifically for that sign name.

When you both cuddle he’ll smother his face against you - often your chest or your neck - and mutter how much he loves you.

If you still have some of your hearing you’ll be like “I swear to god if you don’t stop using your voice.”

If you’re stone deaf you’ll just roll your eyes and enjoy the vibrations against your skin.

Gundham would also definitely hum against you.

His voice is deep and it rumbles so yes.

You can also talk to a lot of his animals, since they understand sign language.

It’s awesome being able to communicate with animals.

You like taking baths with him, too.

He likes talking a lot so it would be easier to talk to him.

If he ever needs help with the big cats, he’ll call you, because their scary roars don’t bother you.

The fact that they have claws does though.

Whenever he gets anxious he talks behind his scarf, which drives you crazy.

“Sign, damnit, or I will literally kill you!”

Mikan Tsumiki

Has helped a lot of deaf students.

But barely knows any words outside of the medical field.

Gets emberassed whenever you correct her on something she signs wrong.

Signs mostly PSE, but you help her switch into ASL.

She’s a big hugger, always holding you close and having you cradle her.

You gave her the sign name “shaky princess.”

“P-Princes???”

She takes awhile to get used to how blunt ASL is.

Stutters a lot still, even in ASL.

Whenever you sign to her while she has something in her hand she’ll start freaking out and crying about not being able to respond.

Until one day you sign to her with one hand and she’s like ??? you can do that?

Showers with you a lot.

Her brain doesn’t process signing in the shower, though.

So it’s mostly just the two of you standing together.

She definitely prefers sign language over talking.

Sometimes she finds herself signing while talking, too.

Shinguuji Korekiyo

100% you cannot convince me this man doesn’t know ASL.

He is obsessed with culture, so he’s definitely very knowledgable in Deaf culture and history as well.

Though understanding his signs is very hard because of his mask.

Sometimes he’ll take off his hat so you can easily see the upper half of his face.

(Okay but can we talk about if deaf S/O is a girl how he wouldn’t kill her because Miyadera doesn’t know sign language so they wouldn’t be friends)

An amazing signer, though, since he talks to a lot of Deaf people.

I mean you almost can’t tell he’s hearing.

It’s just the facial expressions and body movement.

Boy is stiff.

Makes you uncomfortable when he signs things like chubby face and skinny.

He just... stands there with his blank eyes.

He scares you all the time, too.

Like he’ll just walk up behind you and touch you.

Not even a shoulder nudge either he’ll just grab you and hug you.

You let out a noise of surprise each time.

If you’re nonverbal, that’s probably why he does it.

You really wanted his sign name to be something like mystery man.

Discussed it with your deaf friends.

Settled on anthropology just because of the hat he wears.

Really wanted it to be less obvious though.

You like to have tea with him.

Because everytime he changes into his eating mask, you are like-

“Why don’t you have a signing mask?”

“The point of the mask is to hide my mouth.”

Kiibo

Doesn’t remember learning ASL

Just??? Knew it.

When he saw you signing to your friend he knew what you were saying without realizing.

Hands move in language hello???

You had to explain to him that you are deaf and it’s how you communicate.

He thinks it’s incredible how you have your own language.

He’s also grateful that he knows it so he could learn more about what being Deaf is.

If you’re verbal than one day you’ll speak while signing and he’ll ???

YOU CAN TALK????

“Yes Kiibo I can talk.”

You show him stereotypical Deaf movies.

He’s happy you’re deaf because that means he can sing around you.

You clap every time he does.

Likes watching anime with you because the CC comes naturally.

Even though he obvi knows Japanese.

Definitely owns clothes from Deaf conventions.

Isn’t scared to sign to people at all, by the way.

And doesn’t mind living in a household with a deaf person, the slamming of cabinets and doors doesn’t bother him.

Very happy to be apart of Deaf culture.

He’s very prideful in being a robot so of course that’s his sign name.

Kaito Momota

Chaotic.

Knows ASL because he took classes one time.

When he learns you’re deaf he will force you to watch every movie he watched in his ASL class.

Will try to sneak up on you.

But he stomps when he walks so it doesn’t always work.

Though, just to bother you, when he walks by he’ll pull your hair.

Replaced shoulder nudges with pulling your hair.

When you sign a word he doesn’t know he’ll pretend to understand.

You can tell when he doesn’t.

He is very prideful in his signing abilities.

He’s just happy to be able to communicate you.

Shhh don’t tell S/O but he loves them very much and tries his best.

He literally started taking ASL classes again just to catch up on new signs.

Didn’t tell you, of course.

Begs you to make his sign name astronaut.

You thought about it.

Egotistical with K’s :)

He’s like akdkskfkekffk NO

He’s says something like “Oh yeah well your sign name is UGLY!!”

“Stay mad stay mad.”

He tries to white knight situations in like restaurants.

“You’re not my interpreter.”

“Yeah but they don’t know ASL.”

“Neither does the rest of the world but I’ve made it so far.”

He literally like gets nervous about you going places alone.

What if they can’t communicate???

“Kaito.”

“What.”

“Shut up.”

He always brags to you because he’s quadlingual though.

You learn curse words in Russian to sticky note to the bathroom mirror.

His signing is cute though.

For someone like Kaito.

[tobesobri]

𝓦elcome to a brand new story from me that I never thought I would be posting but here we are! This chapter is very much introductory, which is like obvious being the first chapter but tbh I don’t really do a lot of introducing characters right off the bat in a descriptive way often so this was new for me! Also, I have an old taglist from a while ago when I was originally going to post this, but I don’t want to randomly tag people who may no longer be interested SO if you’d like to be included on a taglist for upcoming chapters please let me know! Thank you! 

huge massive thank you to the incredible @youresogolden-h​ for editing ❤️

Chapter One: Where Happiness Begins (5.4k)

Harry and Y/N are friends…. with benefits, but not the kinds you’re thinking of.

🥥MASTERLIST 🌃INSPO TAG 🌻ASK TAG 💃PLAYLIST 🛌

There was something very different when she woke that Saturday morning. Maybe her breath smelled a little worse than normal. Maybe the sun shined a little brighter through her curtains than it was supposed to...

Maybe there was someone in her bed who didn’t belong there. 

“Oh my god.”

Friday night was not unlike every other night that week. There was an endless bag of chips she dug her Hot Cheeto dust covered fingers into and an over-watched series on Netflix open on her laptop in front of her. And when she wasn’t distracted by Sam and Dean Winchester, she was bawling her eyes out under the comfort of her thrifted quilt, staining her poor mismatched pillowcases.

Just like any given night.

And this Friday was no different. At least not until there was a knock on her door.

By the time she dried her face, it was almost completely unnoticeable she’d just been buried in hysterics only seconds ago.

“Harry’s coming over. You want anything from the store?” Will asked, the same Will who stuck them all together in the very beginning of splitting rent on an apartment four different ways.

He was the roommate who paid the most in rent and got the biggest room with his own private bathroom. One of the two roommates who constantly had his significant other over every night to make Y/N’s miserable time even worse. Between Will and Violet’s incessant need to take over the entire living room every weekend, Y/N was bound to end up in her own room alone crying her eyes out for no apparent reason.

Then there was her third roommate, James, who never bothered her because she was lucky to catch a fleeting glimpse of him every other week.

Y/N glanced at the phone he had pressed to his cheek, assuming Harry was on the other end of the line, on hold. Just the mention of his name sucked every sad little tear back into her skull. She didn’t know why, but having Harry around always seemed to do the trick.

Even though she barely spoke a word to him over the course of the last eighteen months she’d known him.

She buried her excitement about Harry coming over and frowned, answering as if she was she couldn’t care less even though... she cared way more than she should. “No.”

And before Will could protest, she shut the door in his face and retreated back to her bed.

Not every night was spent in agonizing spirals of self-pity and dread, but it came and went. Some days were fine. She was happy by the time she went to bed at night and didn’t have nightmares or anxiety that kept her up past her self-proclaimed bedtime. Most days, she ate regularly and went about her nightly routine with a genuine smile on her face. But recently, it had all gone to shit.

And there was no explanation. There never was. She didn’t just break up with a long-term boyfriend. No one called her an ugly bitch on the train home. Her boss didn’t yell at her for the umpteenth time about her inadequacies at work.

She was just... alone. Painfully and tragically alone.

She hated how black and white it was. That she was either happy to be alive or praying for a very large rock to fall on her and end it all. There was never an in-between and it made her feel like all her emotions were made up, like she wasn’t ever truly happy or she was sad over really stupid things.

It was a fucking nightmare.

Another agonizing thirty minutes went by before she heard from Will again. Before she heard more than just her roommate's voice through the thin walls. Before she could literally feel her

brain swell with more serotonin than she’d had in a long time when it was Harry’s voice she heard.

He was like an unusual ray of sunshine. Every time he was over at their apartment, it was like he was some kind of ancient sun god warding off all the evil spirits sitting on her shoulders. Which...she knew was quite strange, but she really couldn’t--nor did she want to--fight off how he made her feel.

Even if he wasn’t an internationally famous pop-sensation, she still couldn’t put her finger on why he made her feel like sunshine and butterflies whenever he was around. Which had been quite often recently on account of his upcoming album needing desperate help from Will.

Okay. She hadn’t heard a damn thing from the album, but the conversations they had about it weren’t always good. It was delayed, apparently, and Harry was in the middle of a massive writing block that led him to an impromptu trip to Barcelona the previous week.

And so now he was back. To work on the album, and, upon Y/N’s quiet arrival into the kitchen of her shared apartment, to pig out on junk food. Will hovered over the kitchen island while they figured out which movie, among a small stack of romantic comedies, to watch first.

Once Harry noticed her, he instantly stood up straight, shoving the last bit of a Kit-Kat bar into his mouth quickly to hide it from her; as if she cared about the Harry Styles munching on chocolate and sweets.

“What’re you doing?” Y/N asked Will, even though Harry was the only one paying her any attention. She didn’t often make eye contact with him, or even speak to him at all for that matter. But Harry was used to it. He was used to her mumbling and her short phrases. The way whenever he looked at her, she always looked away.

“Pretty Woman or Notting Hill?” Will turned to her finally, holding up both DVD boxes in his hands for Y/N to choose from, completely ignoring her previous question.

“Um... I’ve never seen them.”

Will rolled his eyes and placed the Blu-Ray boxes back down on the granite countertop, “Should’ve known that. You only watch scary shit.”

It was quiet after that for a moment. A long moment of Harry awkwardly glancing between Will and Y/N. Though his glances towards her did not come easily. Just the thought of looking at her was like his body went into fight or flight mode. Fight through the nerves and the butterflies in his stomach or fly the hell out of there.

She was like an unfriendly cat who didn’t seem to like him one bit, and it drove him insane. All his attempts to have a normal conversation with her had been fruitless. She never said more than one word to him at a time. Maybe two, if she was feeling generous. He didn’t get it at all, but he got used to it. Maybe she just didn’t have any room in her life for another person and certainly not for a person like him.

“Well, I vote for Pretty Woman,” Will said, making up everyone’s minds for them, and when he glanced at the other two, they didn’t seem to care. “Pretty Woman it is then. Y/N,” Will glanced at her exclusively while he began gathering snacks and the movie, “are you watching it too?”

“Uh.. no.” She continued into the kitchen, walking behind Harry toward the fridge and making every single nerve in his body light up. He had no idea why she, of all people on the planet he’d come into contact with, made him as nervous as she did. But, here he was. Stepping out of her way and swallowing the pit in his throat when he got a whiff of her all-too-familiar coconut scented shampoo.

And that scent just about made his head spin. It took him right back to the night he’d gotten drunk off his ass after a long day of work. She’d offered her bed to him since he was too tall for their couches, and she had been up late working herself anyways. Most of the night had been forgotten, but he very distinctly remembered stuffing his face into her pillowcases and letting the scent of her shampoo completely engulf his nostrils as he fell asleep. And it took him back to the following morning where he wobbled his hungover ass to the shower and accidentally (on purpose) used her coconut scented shampoo.

And then the entire rest of the day he smelled exactly like her and hadn’t gone a single minute without thinking of her. Thinking of her soft voice and what it would feel like to hear her saying his name just once. Thinking about the way she sometimes smiled at him like maybe she didn’t hate him as much as he thought. Thinking about her hair spread over her pillowcase and tucking loose strands behind her ear while she slept peacefully beside him...

Harry was also, very, very alone.

So alone that he spent more nights at other people’s homes, particularly Will’s, than his own. Even though he had an insanely expensive house all to himself up in the gated hills of Los Angeles, it was nothing compared to being surrounded by people he cared about instead of lifeless appliances.

He blamed it on the city. It always had a way of making him feel alienated. Even if it was the city that recognized him most often, it almost made him feel even more alone than he already was. Because none of the people he met along the way really knew him. They weren’t with him at the end of the day when he broke down on the floor in his bathroom. They didn’t see the dark parts of his life where he often wished he could take it all back just to be normal again. To have normal conversations and normal relationships with people he wasn’t constantly paranoid were trying to get something out of him.

So, in a way, he understood Y/N’s unwillingness to let him in, because he did it all the time. The thing he didn’t understand was why she had any reason to worry about the people in her life. No one was out to get her money or make themselves famous off of her. But there was a reason for it anyways, and it just about killed the curious cat in his mind every time he was at her apartment and she continued to not peep a single unnecessary word to him.

By the time he and Will had settled onto their respective spots in the living room, Harry tucked back into the cushions of their armchair and Will spread out on the loveseat opposite him, Y/N had already retreated back into her bedroom with her glass of ice water.

“Think that’s the most I’ve ever heard her talk.” Harry said, while Will skipped through the outdated commercials on the DVD.

Will’s lips turned up into a very knowing grin and he nodded, “She’s always been quiet, man. I told you not to take it personally.”

“How did you get her to talk?”

That was a question Harry had never asked before out of the countless stupid ones he had in the past. The stupidest was probably when he’d first met her and then proceeded to ask Will shortly after if Y/N was mute.

Will shrugged, “I’ve known her for a long time. It’s not like she goes on and on around me either though. That’s just how she is. And she probably just doesn’t like you that much.”

Harry huffed and sat back into his chair, giving up on it. He couldn’t force her to be his friend, as much as he wanted her to be.

The movie went on without Harry because he was completely lost in his own mind, however, Will seemed to be completely enthralled with Julia Roberts. Harry just couldn’t bring himself to focus on the television screen for more than a minute at a time.

It wasn’t until he heard a door down the hall click open that he brought himself back to reality and let his eyes wander to the sound behind him as Y/N stepped quietly out from her bedroom again. He knew she was the only other roommate home tonight and, yet, he still made the mistake of looking in her direction and, fucking finally, locking eyes with her. It was brief, but it was enough to stir up the enormous pot of butterflies in his stomach again.

Without a single word, she sat on the last unoccupied piece of furniture between the both of them, Harry still in a bit of shock and Will grinning with his eyes glued to the screen.

“Changed your mind, did you?” Will asked cheekily.

“Shut up,” she mumbled back at him before reaching toward the opened bag of untouched Hershey kisses. “Can I have one of these?”

Will finally peered over at her from his spot and then glanced at Harry across the coffee table, “You’ll have to ask Harry. He brought them.”

Her hand froze and she reluctantly turned her attention toward Harry, which had been the first time since he arrived that she voluntarily looked at him. She had no fucking clue how she was going to sit there and ask Harry for one of his Hershey kisses. Or if she even wanted them desperately enough.

The question went unasked, but the look on her face said more than enough. She was already waiting for his answer. And upon seeing the look on her face, Harry couldn’t possibly find it in himself to force her to say a damn thing. So he just cleared his throat instead, “Uh, it’s alright. You can have as many as you want.”

He watched as she grabbed a couple foil sealed chocolates and settled back into the corner of her own loveseat again, never willing to admit that he’d bought them especially for her. Because it had somehow managed to become common knowledge that they were her favorite candy and while wandering the local corner market, he spotted them and thought of her. His brain at the time thought there might be some minuscule possibility that if he brought one of her favorite foods over she might eventually start to like him.

Even if that didn’t happen though, he was still reeling from that one brief moment of interaction for the entire rest of the night. Splurging on an overpriced package of cavities had been well worth it.

It wasn’t until the movie ended that both Harry and Y/N realized Will was dead asleep. That he was no longer conscious enough to use the remote resting on his chest and turn the movie off. So, after a little while of staring at the credits, Y/N stood and grabbed it, flipping the controls until she brought up regular TV channels and then eventually settled for a horror movie Harry had never seen and had no intentions to. But, if it meant he got more time with Y/N, he’d sit through just about anything she wanted to watch.

And then finally, the sugar he’d consumed got to his head.

“Do you always watch scary movies before bed?” He asked, completely lost in his daydreams and not fully realizing he’d asked her a full-blown question until it was out of his mouth. Once he came to his senses, he wanted to shove every last word back into his mouth and pretend he never said anything.

That was, until a couple silent moments went by and she finally said something. “Makes the nightmares more interesting.”

He didn’t expect her to say anything at all, and so for her to say that, he had no idea how to respond to her. Was she being... sarcastic? He didn’t even know she was capable of being funny.

So he laughed, not too loudly in case she wasn’t joking. But all his worries were relieved when she glanced at him and giggled too.

He didn’t dare bring up any of the questions floating around in his mind in fear that she’d never speak another word to him ever again once he’d finally managed to break through the walls somehow. Now that he’d made groundbreaking progress with her, there was no way he was asking her why she never talked to him or why she was so quiet. So he kept a fine-tuned filter over what words came out of his mouth.

“Does that mean you have uninteresting nightmares then?” Harry really did try his damndest to think of anything to say that would get her to keep talking, because he wasn’t done listening to her voice or hearing bits of her brain spill out. He wanted to know everything about her, from her mouth only, but he also didn’t want to get too ahead of himself.

“Only on Sundays.”

“Why Sundays?” He asked through a muffled laugh, curious as to what she was on about.

“Because then the nightmares are about showing up at work naked on Monday morning... and that’s not very interesting.”

He couldn’t help the widespread grin on his face, or the way his eyebrows furrowed at how fucking weird she actually was. And she wasn’t even that weird. She was kind of normal, but this entire time he thought she wasn’t like him at all, so seeing her say things like a normal person was... weird.

“So what kind of nightmares does watching Annabelle at...” Harry checked his watch, and went into momentary shock at the time, but also couldn’t care less because he wasn’t leaving now, “two in the morning get you?”

She smiled, and refusing to look at him, settled for planting her eyes on the television instead. “Walking into work naked on Monday morning but,” she held up a finger in anticipation and Harry smiled wider, “all my coworkers are creepy dolls.”

“Guess at that point it doesn't matter if you’re naked then.”

She thought about for a moment before giggling at what he said, “No, I guess it doesn’t.”

There was silence between them again, but it was different this time. It was peaceful. It wasn’t full of awkward tension and things Harry wished she would say. It felt like two friends hanging out and enjoying each other’s company.

“Are you sleeping here or...” She finally asked him and he wasn’t sure if that was her way of asking him to leave or not. But something about it made him feel like she was building her walls back up again.

“Oh, uh... if that’s okay. Think I’m too tired to drive.”

“Yeah, it’s fine. I just wanted to know because I can sleep in Violet’s room and you can have my bed like before. If you want.”

“Oh, um, are you sure?” Under any other circumstances, he would have said no, that the short, uncomfortable couch would be fine. That he would get over the pain in his legs and back in the morning because he didn’t want to invade her space, again. Unfortunately for him, he already had the knowledge of what her pillows smelled like and how soft her sheets were and he desperately wanted to invade her space again.

She nodded. “It’s no problem. I’ll go clean up a little. Just let yourself in.”

She was gone before he could get another word out. And while he listened to her footsteps as she walked away from him, he stared blankly up at the ceiling, resting his neck back on the chair. It felt like he’d just been through a fever dream, like none of it was real. Not only did he have a normal conversation with her, but now she was offering her bed to him again as well.

He needed a moment to process things.

When she got done tidying up her room and replacing her blanket with a clean one for Harry, he appeared cautiously in the doorway, yawning as he watched her gather some of her things to take to Violet’s room directly across the hall.

“I turned the TV off and the lights. Will’s still quite dead out there.”

She smiled to herself and gave him a very fleeting glance before picking the last item she needed up off her side table and then finally facing him. “It’s all yours.”

Ushering him in, he stepped into her room like he wasn’t actually allowed to. Like he had never been there before. Like he hadn’t nearly puked all over her poor white bed sheets that one night.

She replaced his spot in the doorway as he sat down on the edge of her bed. He stared at her back as she walked away, not getting his hopes up about her saying anything else to him. So, when she did turn to face him again, it just about knocked the air out of him.

“Oh and Harry?”

“Yeah?”

“Could you try to not drool on my pillows this time?”

He glanced at the top of her bed where all her pillows were neatly stacked and cringed at the horrible memories he had and at the fact that he’d actually drooled on her pillows. Like a fucking animal. Like a dog who couldn’t control himself.

“Sorry ‘bout that...” He looked at her again, genuinely apologetic and completely embarrassed by his past, drunken self.

“It’s okay.” She smiled reassuringly, “Night.”

“G’night.” Harry mumbled just before she left and closed the door behind her.

And in all the talk about drool, it wasn’t until he was cuddled under her blanket and up against her mound of pillows that he realized something. She’d said his name, out loud, to his face, where he could hear it and obsess over it and never get sick of it. He repeated it over and over in his head and kept himself awake just thinking about the way it had sounded and if he’d ever get to hear her say his name again.

The faint hum of voices right outside the door woke him slightly. His entire body was still asleep except for about half of his brain and one eye that peeked open to investigate the noise. He could tell it was early, though, his eyes stung and his body ached to go fully back to sleep.

He could make out Violet’s voice, which confused his foggy brain because he swore Will had mentioned she’d be gone all weekend, and yet here she was yelling in the hallway and interrupting his sleep.

“Please just sleep on the couch then, I need to be alone right now.” Harry furrowed his eyebrows at how distressed she sounded and flinched when the door across the hall just about slammed shut.

He heard an exasperated sigh and then squeezed his eyes shut when he saw movement under the door to Y/N’s bedroom just moments before it opened. He pretended to be asleep for as long as he could, listening to the footsteps as they carefully wandered into the room.

And then a hushed, but very exclamatory, “Ow!” got him to roll onto his back and knuckle his eyes open.

She looked at him apologetically while grasping the big toe of her right foot. “Sorry.”

“S’okay.” His voice was a lot groggier and a lot more raspy than she expected it to be. And she kind of hated herself for enjoying the view, a little too much, of Harry waking up in her bed. While she got her thoughts under control, he continued. “Did Violet just kick you out?”

She simply nodded and went back to digging into her cabinets for spare pillows.

“What time is it?” He asked.

“Four-thirty.”

Then he slowly pulled her blanket off, still dressed in his shirt and joggers from last night but without his socks and rings he’d removed before bed.

She immediately turned to him, however. “You don’t have to get up. I’m fine on the couch.” “No, I would feel bad.”

“It’s okay, really. Don’t worry about it.” She got him to stop what he was doing and lay back into the bed again while she opened up more cabinet doors to find her extra bed sets.

He cleared his throat after a little while of watching her, and gathered up the largest bundle of courage he ever had, to say what he was about to say next. With nervous, shaking fingers and a cold sweat on the back of his neck, he voiced the stupidest idea he’d ever had in his life.

“We can just both sleep here... if that’s fine.”

She froze and he knew he’d made a mistake. Why in the actual fuck did he just suggest that? Maybe he was sleep deprived. Maybe he was still reeling from last night. Maybe he had some false sense of security with her and completely forgot about the fact that last night had been the first time she’d said that many words to him. Of course she wasn’t about to climb in bed with him.

“Oh, um...” She finally found a couple pillows and pulled them from the cabinet while turning her attention back to Harry. She could not deny how desperately she wanted to crawl back into her own bed. And have a warm body next to her, which she had literally never had. No one had ever slept in her bed besides Harry, and definitely not with her. Sure, she’d slept in friends’ beds before on occasion, but this was different. It was her own bed and this was Harry, not her college friends.

So maybe it was the sleep-deprivation talking. 

“Okay.”

In all forms but physical, his jaw had just hit the floor. Never in a million years or in any other infinite alternate realities would he have thought they’d end up here, with Harry sliding over to one side of the bed to make room for her while she crawled in beside him. Her queen size gave lots of room in between them, so it wasn’t as weird as it sounded. It was just two, very tired loose-knit friends sharing a bed for a few hours.

“Goodnight, again.” Harry mumbled, realizing too late that it was technically morning now.

“Mhm,” was the only response he got out of her when she curled up under the blanket they shared and went straight back to sleep with her back to him.

And once his nerves settled, he did the same.

It was a lot easier than either of them thought possible. And for a long while, they stayed on their respective sides of the bed. But once she was lost in dreamland and he was already letting out soft snores, there was no control over what happened next. She turned and cuddled right up to his side as if her unconscious mind thought he was some kind of pillow to cradle. She wasn’t all to blame, though, as his arm wrapped around her shoulders and pulled her even closer. Closer than either of them had been to another living being in a long time. As close as her forearm spread across his chest and her head nestled into his neck. Close enough to smell his cologne but not realize why or stop any of it from happening. Not that she would have wanted to if she had any clue what she was doing. Not that he would have wanted to either.

With his hand digging into her waist, they both were mildly aware of what was going on, but both were also still too lost in their exhaustion. So, it just happened. And they held each other tighter as the minutes passed and the dreams took over once again. Because they both needed it. To hold and to be held. To feel the pressure of another person and the heartbeat on their skin. And all the loneliness in their bones melting away with each other’s touch as if they’d never been alone in the first place.

The only thing that could ever separate them was the knock on her door at nine a.m. Everything was a little fuzzy at first before she blinked a few times and realized that what she’d been using as a pillow wasn’t exactly stuffed with cotton and lined in silk. With a gasp, she pulled away from him abruptly. Ceasing all contact. Not because she wanted to necessarily, but because she would rather Harry not find out she was all over him like she had just been.

“Oh my god,” she whispered quietly in disbelief, mentally punching herself in the face for what she’d just woken up to.

But her embarrassment only skyrocketed when she dragged her eyes up his neck to his chin, then his nose and finally saw him staring right back at her with furrowed brows like he was just as confused as she was. When he glanced at the door is when she moved to do something about it.

Quickly, she pulled the covers off of herself and opened her door only the smallest amount possible. Just enough to peak her head out, but not enough for Will to see Harry in her bed. Where she’d just been sleeping right next to him. Or... right on top of him, as it seemed.

“Did Harry go home last night?”

With absolutely no plan to go along with her lie, she still figured it was the better option than to admit to Will she’d been in the same bed as Harry. That she’d been all fucking over him for who knows how long.

“Um, yeah. After you fell asleep.”

From behind her, Harry quietly smacked his hands over his face and fell back dramatically into her fluffy pillows.

“Oh, ok. Vi won’t come out of her room, but I’m going to go get breakfast from Jade’s. You want anything?”

“No, I’m alright, thanks.” Her words fused together in a flash, just trying to get the least amount of information out as quickly as possible so she didn't accidentally say something suspicious.

She shut the door on him with a smile before Will could even offer her a pastry from their most loved local cafe. Once that was dealt with, and she had a moment to gather her thoughts as she stared at her door, she slowly turned around to face Harry.

Her cheeks were probably bright red and full of embarrassment seeing him there amongst her sheets; as if once she had turned around he wouldn’t actually be there, like maybe she’d dreamt the whole thing.

But no.

He was there. And he was very real. And very much looking at her like they were both insane.

“I’m sorry,” they said it at the exact same time, cutting each other off from saying anything else.

“No, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have, um...” Harry started once he found an opportunity to speak again, but he didn’t exactly know what he was apologizing for. He wasn’t sorry for how they’d ended up. He had the best four and a half hours of sleep he’d ever had.

“I shouldn’t have been like... all on you like that.” She averted her eyes when she spoke, not able to look him straight on and admit it. And she knew she was only apologizing because she felt embarrassed and like she had to. She felt like she’d invaded Harry’s space and took advantage of him.

“You don’t have to apologize.”

She just shrugged. Nothing he said at this point could make her feel any less horrible about it. And even so, some part deep down inside of her, when she finally looked at him again, wanted to get right back into that spot with him for another few hours.

It just felt... right. And even though she couldn’t remember what she dreamed about, she knew it wasn’t her usual nightmare. She had felt safe and secure, and not so alone anymore, sleeping beside him like that and she felt stupid knowing it would never happen again.

“I should get going then. Before Will comes back and realizes I didn’t actually leave.” Harry let out an exasperated laugh as he began getting up, sitting himself on the edge of her bed with his back facing her as he stretched. The fabric of his shirt tugged along his muscles as he flexed them awake, and she grew far too overwhelmed thinking about the fact that those fucking arms of his had been around her for the better half of the morning. She could still feel him holding onto her and his grip at her side.

She needed a very cold shower and some fresh air.

[logically-asexual]

okay i'm already procrastinating and i don't plan on sleeping any time soon so here we go.

☆ ✩ my personal ranking for every season 1 Sanders Sides episode. ✩ ☆

i think it's going to be pretty similar to @dukeofonions' but let's see if i find something new to contribute haha. i see you didn't include that one about Patton in the Big Game or whatever, so i'm not including it either xd. also i think i'm going to count Accepting Anxiety as one episode only.

edit: i finished and now i dare you to drink a shot of water every time i say the word spanish or a version of the word comfort and become very well hydrated.

#16 I'm in a Disney Show

(i agree with dukeofonions here) i always forget this episode exists. it was ok in terms of being happy for real life Thomas but as a Sanders Sides episode it didn't do anything. the sides were just giving their opinions but it wasn't very funny or interesting. also i'm bitter because it made me look up the episode he was in and i didn't like it at all. i don't know if i'm too old for those Disney shows now but Thomas was literally the only good part of it, everything else was really dull and boring imo. a waste of time.

however, Logan supporting clickbait is one of the funniest things ever, and i'll never forget it.

#15 Becoming A Cartoon

i didn't hate this episode but it was just .. meh.. you know? several factors contribute to this. one, i couldn't feel much nostalgia for Butch Hartman's shows because i watched them in Spanish, and everything feels really weird when they speak English, i don't like how my old cartoons sound in English. two, it was disappointing to me because we were all desperately waiting for Plot™ and instead they give us this short episode about nothing (oh how the tables have turned now it's the other way around haha). and three, i didn't like the style of the animation :/ their faces and expressions freaked me out, Roman's douchey face still haunts me.

#14 Way Too Adult

here i'm biased because i don't like Patton much, and i didn't back when i watched the series the first time either, so this video was a little disappointingwithout the rest. also it wasn't relatable to me because i am still too young and dependent on my parents haha. but Patton is funny and it's funny to laugh at Thomas' struggling.

#13 The Dark Side of Disney

i've never been a fan of Disney movies. i actually never watched Mulan or the Lion King or Aladdin as a kid, so meh. i liked the ending, though, it was cool to see Virgil have fun and be right for once. it does make me a bit uncomfortable because the way Thomas tries too hard with Virgil's mouth movements and his low voice reminds me of a guy that had made me v uncomfortable not long before watching that video. so an icky feel overall.

#12 A New Year of Lying to Myself

this video was actually kind of fogettable to me. i had a hard time connecting the voices in the song to the characters and idk. i don't love it nor hate it, just .. neutral.

#11 My True Identity

pretty much the same opinion as dukeofonions, again. it's a good introduction and it's good that it was the beginning of it all but on its own it's not very special. i think it's awesome on Thomas to have come up with such a clever idea, like choosing the dad, the teacher and the prince and putting them together and match them with thoughts?? that fit so perfectly?? it really is just very impressive when you think about it, that it was just a random idea he had for a short 5 minute video.

#10 Taking on Anxiety

i liked this video a lot because when i watched it i had recently been a lot on tumblr, and found out through relatable posts that i had anxiety. so watching this video was really fun and it made me happy to feel so seen, specially the intro when Thomas just talks about what it's like to have Anxiety and Virgil is so smug about it.

- ★ -

okay now that those are out of the way things are going to get hard... all the following i love with all my heart so i'm going to rank them based on the smallest things.

#9 Growing Up

once more, Patton isn't my favorite. so that's why i'm putting this here, plus the echo at the end askjhsahg, but i love love this video. i remember we were waiting and oh so ready for the angst of nobody taking Patton seriously. and we received!! i love that though Roman and Logan are antagonists here, they're both so happy about Thomas wanting to have a healthy life. and i just adore the way Logan admits his mistake at the end and asks Patton directly. my heart... also aw.. the nostalgia. i remember none of us knew how to spell Patton's name and were writing it in very funny ways until Thomas and Joan told us lol.

#8 The Mind vs The Heart

when i watched this video the first times i didn't like it much, because i only had eyes for Virgil, but later i came back to it and loved it. so taking that into account i'm putting it here. logicality was the first ship i ever shipped in the show because i saw a gifset on tumblr of Patton screaming "what do you know about love?!" and Logan "apparently more than YOU" and the caption said "MARRIED", and i thought hey yeah... anyway. i love them. they're both my dads since that day.

this video is so so so relatable and i love it. Logan and Patton are so much fun arguing and i love how they compromise at the end and work together. im reconsidering.. i might move it higher? no, fine i'll leave it here.

#7 Making Some Changes

this video was absolutely hilarious. i personally couldn't see it as the Sides still once they were acted by Thomas' friends, i enjoyed it more as that bunch being silly and trying to be the sides but failing in so many ways, while sometimes nailing stuff suddenly. i really don't take this one too seriously as an episode. except Joan!Logan and Valerie!Logan, my beloved... i love how Joan acted as Logan and their voice and that they kept their ace ring on.. there's a reason i had them as my icon for so long. and Valerie looks a bit (a lot) like me with the glasses and dressed in dark colors, plus she spoke Spanish and there's .. no words to describe the joy i felt when seeing/hearing that. wait i'm getting emotional...

#6 My Personality Q&A

when i watched this Virgil was my favorite side and i didn't care much about the rest lol. when i heard his answers i related to him SO much it was scary, and also his voice is so soft and it was all very comforting. it was also when i first starting looking at Logan with more attention, because when he brought up Big Hero 6 and Fall Out Boy and said he didn't sing and would recite it like a poem? it only took a couple seconds but my brain said "me" and never went back.

now this video is a little underwhelming to watch for me, most of the appeal for me was in finding out the answers, and also watching it when we didn't know a lot about the sides. now we know more and want to know more so it's not as fun to me as it was first.

i wish so bad they'd do another one, although i know it would be more difficult with a much bigger audience, i think they can manage and i just need it. the chaos.. the energy.. they all being so savage with each other, learning little random facts about them you didn't expect.. i need it.

- ★ -

oh boy top 5 here we go. the next three are practically a tie. i can't choose.

#5 Alone on Valentines Day

i love Valerie, and the idea of this video was perfect and so perfectly excecuted. every side just giving their crazy opinions on how to woo a random stranger, i laughed SO much. first with Logan speaking simlish out of nowhere? at that point i didn't know practically anything about the sims except that it was some video game and the whiplash of Logan going AYO and the rest killed me. then when Roman whipped out that dialogue in Spanish??? my life was completed. i've never felt more happy than i did in that moment gosh. just the hilarity of Roman's drama, the shock of them speaking Spanish suddenly like that, the absolute JOY of seeing a creator i like speak (may i say) perfect Spanish, the other characters' faces after that.. never been happier.

also the conclusion was so cute. Virgil solving the whole problem without wanting to. i loved it.

#4 Am I Original

i think this video speaks for itself. it was fun to watch them all do the ideas Roman had, plus Logan and Virgil nodding at each other, (i love them so much), plus the angst at the end of Roman's perfectionism, plus Roman's just perfect name. this video has it all.

i think Thomas posted it kind of late at night and i watched it at 7am in the classroom as i waited for my classmates to arrive and the class to start. (i usually was like 40 minutes early to school due to mom’s work). i had to contain my laughter and it wasn’t easy.

#3 Losing My Motivation

i started loving this video after a while, when Logan passed Virgil in the position for my favorite side. but once he did this episode was beautiful. it's so funny and i love Logan and Patton's dynamic so much. and the video also so damn relatable in general. i felt so seen with it because they named all the problems i have when procrastinating, down to Patton's vague explanation of his feelings, it's exactly how i feel every time i want to do stuff. and the plot twist! i can hear the dramatic sound effect and see how they all turn to Logan clearly in my head, and it always makes me smile. plus there's so much Logan angst that can be dug up and overanalized. i love to watch it over and over.

#2 Accepting Anxiety

this video was perfect. everything we wanted. we knew it was coming and it delivered perfectly, better than any fanfic done in the waiting time. the week between the parts was agonizing but in a fun way somehow. i remember precisely when i was watching part 2 in my living room. i screamed. and i cried, a lot. i was feeling terrible at that time in my life and Thomas was such a comforting presence and i can't begin to describe how this episode made me feel.

and later it is always fun to rewatch with all their different reactions to being in Virgil's room, the energy of that was on point. Thomas is such a great actor and the characters where just amazingly performed. plus it gave so much to talk adn think about, the idea of the rooms, lots lots of insight into the characters, foreshadowing, so much. it's just perfect i have nothing else to say.

#1 (for purely emotional reasons, ironically) My Negative Thinking

i think Accepting Anxiety is the best episode of the season objectively but my favorite is My Negative Thinking. because i love Virgil and Logan so much and seeing them argue together was and is great. the comfort.. i can't repeat that word enough throughout this post. it's such a soft video while not being overwhelming with Patton and Roman's outbursts. just quiet (mostly) and clear and with perfectly timed humour.

Logan my beloved.. learning spanish... helping me with my own anxiety.. and their debate was so good. and the fact that they were friends i- i can't. Virgil didn't think Logan liked him and Logan told him explicitly that he did and the casual softness of it i cant even. Logan is happy that he tried.. it's just marvelous. Virgil and Logan as best friends will always be my favorite pair, and their dynamic will always be what i strive for in any relationship i might form, with both sides silently comforting each other within their own limits and realistic perspectives. so nice.

- ★ -

so yeah. that's all. thank you if you read all the way up to here. ♡ ♡ ♡

[imaginesmai]

Dating Peter Parker would include...

I’m sorry I’m not so active lately. I got the requests about Tony (I think there are four of them? two from accounts and two from anon)

-          Peter Parker is a dork.

-          Let’s start saying that.

-          He had always had a crush on you. The beautiful girl in his class, with who he had talked with a few times because a project. Besides, you lived close to him, in the apartment block on the other side of the street. So you sometimes saw each other on the street, and made small conversation.

-          The thing is, he didn’t ask you out. He hadn’t thought he had any chances with you, so he just dropped it and cried to Ned and May about it.

-          But then, a highschool dance for valentine’s day came around.

-          He wasn’t going to go, let’s be real; he didn’t have a date, Ned was going with Betty and Flash had been mocking him for the entire week.

-          Sad boy was sitting at the end of the class, doodling on his notebook, when you approached him.

-          It made his day that you talked to him; so when you asked if he wanted to go with you to the dance, he just broke.

-          You took that as a bad sign, so you retracted and told him it was okay if he had someone.

-          Peter didn’t get to say yes because he just froze and nodded to everything you said, so you left.

-          That day Peter was as pale as ever. He spent the lunch time sitting on the same chair, looking ahead and thinking about nothing. He went home, told May about it and she actually smacked him with the newspaper.

-          She made him walk to your apartment and correct himself.

-          That was how he found himself talking to you through the window, explaining himself while both of you cried; you for sadness, and he for frustration.

-          Finally, you went the dance together and the rest is history.

-          Now.

-          NOW.

-          Dating Peter Parker is a rollercoaster.

-          One moment you’re okay, taking a nap together while playing Wii, and the next you’re screaming because you throw a blue shell at him.

-          He’s all about giving you unexpected roses, gifts or planning some weird dates that include random trips, horrible food and a lot of spiderman. And about starting arguments and fights over insecurities, stupid decisions and videogames.

-          He loves kisses. And I’m not talking about ‘good-morning’ kiss, ‘night’ kiss or ‘see you later’. Not even about random kisses in the cheek or quick pecks on the nose when he passes by.

-          No.

-          Peter has the necessity of trying every available cute kiss on the market. From the first moment, you learn that he loves that type of kisses. The spidey kiss is not enough.

-          For example, he will fight you in trying the lady and the tramp kiss while eating pasta in an Italian restaurant. Everyone looks at you weird, but he’ll be blushing and giggling for the whole dinner and it’s worthy.

-          It’s hard to admit, but he knows every Disney lyric and choreography and sings along with the film once he is comfortable enough with you.

-          Honestly, he’s a kid.

-          He shows it when, in autumn, he takes you to walk around the park only to find the most hidden place, make a pile of leaves on the ground and throw yourself over it. He loves spending the time with you, laying there and watching the people walk while imagine their lives.

-          Also, movie marathons with fortes every Saturday, that end up in a pillow fight and with no clothes in the end.

-          Fun fact: holidays make him riled up.

-          Like, the idea of creating a custom between the two of you, original and unique, keeps him awake at night. He starts planning Halloween one month before the vent.

-          And he’s a freak. On the good side, of course.

-          Peter can spend the whole night awake, you lying by his side sleeping, with the phone illuminating his face as he reads conspiracy theories and unsolved police files on BuzzFeed, only to wake you up when one is too scary or interesting.

-          He has a lot of inside jokes with you, almost all of them too strange for anyone to understand; but you love him that way.

-          His favourite thing to do on a Friday night is to watch soap operas from another county, without subtitles, and make up his own dialogue with you, with a bad accent.

-          Healthy competition, too.

-          Like, bet who can eat more ice-cream without brain-freeze. Or be quiet in a meeting with Tony where he’s asking questions. Talking about Tony, he’s so fed up with Peter and you that he schedule thirty minutes every week to cry about the decision of getting involved.

-          Who can sleep longer, run faster or annoy Mr Harrington the most. Who can keep smiling through a sad movie. Or cry through a happy one.

-          Days with Peter are always something new, you can’t never get bored.

-          There is also a sweet part in him.

-          He can’t sleep without you by his side when you finally make the relationship serious.

-          He has a corner in his room filled with silly selfies or objects that mean something to you.

-          There is a drawer with pads, make-up, panties, bras, pain-killers for the period, a brush, some hair bands, your favourite perfume and shampoo, and an extra charger for your phone in his wardrobe. That he updates every once in a while with things you might need or want.

-          Every day, he makes his goal to tell you ‘love you’ in a different way. By giving you something, helping you to study, learning something new for you, or just sticking a paper to your locker.

-          The thing is, Peter Parker is a boy with a mind of a kid who loves stepping on puddles but forced to become a superhero that swings you across NY.

-          And you get to be the lucky person to spend the rest of your life with him.

Tom Holland taglist:

@delicately-important-trash​​

@lexxxistrips​​

@smilexcaptainx​​

@aikaterrina​​

Want to know more about me? Here is my Masterlist! Feedback is always appreciated!!

[melforbes]

seaglass blue annotations

hello! i just posted the last chapter and thought i’d put together some ~fun context~ for that fic. it got way way more attention than i ever expected and for something i feel i didn’t put that much effort into i think i did in the end put a lot of effort into it so i might as well talk about it and answer some potential questions.

my favorite book of all time is the sunlit night by rebecca dinerstein (yes, that one) and something i find really compelling about that book is how sparing the prose is, forcing the reader to fill in certain gaps, and i think having to fill in those gaps makes the book a really acquired taste with which either you love it or hate it and there’s not really an in-between

i also really adore how in that book the natural world backdrop comes to life, something i find really challenging to write. recently i even read into thin air, the book about the 1996 mount everest disaster, and even though the writing was superb, i still had to google what the hillary step was because i couldn’t picture it on my own. i don’t know how people write nature because to me it feels damn near impossible, but this sparing approach really worked, so i thought i might try it out. i tend to be longwinded (gestures vaguely at this post) and wanted to have certain parts of this be a lot smaller and more contained without negating impact. whether or not i made it work is anyone’s guess. definitely not my normal style, so to speak

based on the comments i’ve received i think this might be everyone’s favorite part. in my mind age of consent by new order was playing in the background. in pretty much every fic i have a scene like this one and all of them are based on the poem first base gold by rh*annon mcg*vin from her book branches (censored because she has a tumblr and i don’t want her seeing this haha)

i absolutely can’t do the poem justice by describing what it’s about, but the simplest, most basic interpretation of the poem is that there is no better place to kiss than right here, right now, because of the past. i really like that imagery and tend to use it a lot. she as a writer has been a big inspiration for me and if you’ve read my fic true minds i should add that the nonfiction inspiration for that was directly as a result of one of her youtube videos. i particularly love how the last paragraph (stanza? im not a poet) is one big run-on sentence that’s jovial and tongue-in-cheek and colloquial and straightforward. it feels triumphant in a quiet way to me and i love how it’s done. obviously my attempts at something similar are nowhere near as insightful, but still, the most basic image of this is that there is no better place to kiss, and that’s how i felt about the two of them finding pudding in the supermarket

this part is autobiographical; while writing this last year, i went through six months of intravenous drug treatment, a month and a half of which involved long days of doctor visits on every weekday. when you’re on stuff like that for a long time you end up with a central line for better access (potential plot hole in all of this: scully never had one) but for a month and a half i got poked almost every day and strangely enough it got harder over time. the first couple you never feel, but a week or two later you start flinching, and if the needle goes in the same vein each time, it hurts the more it gets prodded. i reached a point toward the end of the in-office visits in which i would bleed a lot every time i got poked, and i can’t watch anything like that happen to me so i was looking away each time, and when i felt that the nurse was done, i would look back over, and sometimes i would be looking down at a pool of blood that i hadn’t expected to see. it’s weird, you don’t actually feel yourself bleeding, i would’ve expected a hot bloody feeling but instead it felt like nothing. and when i say a pool i mean that it would drip down beneath my elbow, stain the sheet they’d put underneath, and i wouldn’t get all of it off until i showered. i didn’t necessarily find it scary, but it was surreal and kind of pulled me out of normalizing the experience i was having. for a very long time needing iv drugs was my greatest fear and i was surrounded by that then and fine, and then, there was blood all over my arm, and like, haha, this is actually not fine. you’d think something else would’ve been scarier, but it wasn’t. and now looking back at this paragraph i wish i’d edited it differently but hey that’s life

i’d never really understood the purpose of religion as a self-driven part of life until i took anatomy in college. i was raised catholic and though culturally i understand having a religion and being raised with one, i’ve never really reached for religion when i wanted answers, and i haven’t personally understood why that’s someone’s first option. and i know there’s been plenty of commentary on the hypocrisy of dana scully as a catholic who believes in science, yada yada yada, i think everyone has read all of that by now. but what struck me while learning anatomy is that there is a kind of neuron we don’t know the function of. there are four kinds of neurons, and one of them is still a mystery to us. and then, there’s all of these different parts of human bodies that exist in a certain perfect way, but why do they exist like that? to support life, yes, but why is it that we can make comparisons? why were irises not the same color? and we name valves of the heart after religious figures. we are so hell-bent on meaning that something literal will never be enough. and all of that made me think that dana scully has god to fill in what science won’t answer, at least not yet. and there’s definitely a bigger conversation about science as denial of indigenous cultures that i am nowhere near qualified to start. after taking those classes, i think i would be more shocked if she wasn’t religious. you can ignore pretty much all of the paragraph above but it was important to me that at some point in this fic she willingly conceded that she didn’t know what would happen and that she didn’t have answers. with illness, there is no logic, there’s no thinking your way out of it, and i think that would plague her for a long time. to me, she only would accept her death when she could say she had no idea what would happen, she has no answers, there’s nothing filling in her gaps anymore, and she’s comfortable with that. and i put all of that in a paragraph about my thoughts on god because it made sense to me. there are times that just feel like you’re in a movie and there’s no one else you can say caused them. it’s not enough to build belief on but it’s enough to bring a certain kind of wonder. also one time my parents insisted on watching stripes because it was so funny and when watching it none of us found it funny at all and my parents grimaced and were like what were we on that made that good back in the day so that’s in here now haha

and now, the biggest question: does she die at the end? when i came up with the idea for this fic, i knew the beginning and ending but not the middle, and i posted this as a smaller project (ie: chapters below 3,000 words) while illness made my bigger projects harder to work on and essentially flew by the seat of my pants the whole time. i wrote the last line a long long time ago and have always seen the ending as written as the concrete ending. when i started writing this, i never intended for there to be a definitive answer to whether or not she dies. i like premature endings (the ending of girls burn brighter comes to mind) and i think that this works better without saying whether or not she lives. and i also have a hard time with giving a definitive answer because this fic very much is about death and having her die would, of course, be traumatic, but showing her living instead i think ruins any takeaways people could have. i’ve never had cancer but as a chronically ill person i think i can speak to how you never actually win with illness; the best you can do is tie, and sometimes, no matter how much effort you put in, you “lose” anyway, you lose spectacularly, and all of your effort was for nothing. i wholeheartedly believe that humans can’t emotionally or logically process natural disasters or illness, hence why much of the talk about illness in this is from mulder’s perspective as he experiences her terminal illness secondhand; that way, he doesn’t need to (but still likely will) find logic or reason or meaning for death from a terminal illness, so his discoveries and his coping mechanisms aren’t as urgently needed. had i written a chapter that describes how she lives, i think that the discussion of death in this would be voided altogether. and i also don’t believe the ending would be much different whether she lives or dies; there’s still the need for death acceptance and talking about dying, whether or not she lives, and none of the story in this fic would have happened had the characters known she would live. the whole point is not knowing.

for a little while i toyed with writing an unofficial sequel of sorts in which i spelled out what i think happens after the ending, but after realizing that that would end up being longer than the original fic and would also have some massive plot holes, i decided against it. i do have my own version and i don’t want to share that version because i never really intended for my version to be some kind of genuine sequel in which every question gets answered and everything is wrapped up and happy ever after and whatnot. it was just where my brain wandered in the same way it wanders when i watch an open-ended movie. all of that to say, if you think she lives, then she lives. if you think she dies, then she dies. it’s your decision. i’d much rather you choose than me. i never marked this as “major character” death on ao3 because, well, she doesn’t die in this fic. whether or not she dies after the fic ends, that’s for you to decide. 

thank you for taking the time to read my writing. i never expected this to blow up (it blew up for me at least, for a while it was my most popular fic ever, with i think thousands more hits than anything else i’d written) and the response has been mind-boggling and wonderful. i don’t respond to comments often because it makes me feel like a pompous jerk (”thank you for enjoying this! i, too, enjoy this thing i have written! oh ho ho!” is how it sounds to me in my head, whereas when other writers respond to comments to me it just looks like thanks man have a good day, feel free to call me a weenie) but i’ve appreciated all of them very much. THANK YOU! i hope your new year is a Whole Lot Less Shit than 2020. i don’t plan on writing more msr because i don’t really have any ideas for them. thank you for making my last time special <3

[abused-sides]

First of all, love your writing 💞 Second of all, if you are still taking asks (I saw a post where you mentioned it but idk), can you please write about virgil (I'm sorry he is just,,, so easy to project onto) being abused at home and the other sides find out about and confront him or something? Thanks 💕

Always taking asks and prompts <3 And lmao I literally named myself after Virgil, I’ll never complain about writing him and I’ll always understand being able to project the most onto him 

I hope you don’t mind me doing the high school au! If you’d prefer a different setting, feel free to send another ask <3 

Also thank you! You’re really sweet <3 

Trigger warning: This au follows Virgil dealing with parental abuse. 

More tws for: Scratches, bruises, underage drinking, yelling, passive aggression, manipulation from unsympathetic character

Logan: 

It was a few months since Logan and Virgil finished their project together. Virgil expected to be slowly phased out of the group since he was no longer useful, but they didn’t seem to have those intentions. In fact, he was invited around more than ever, which... Surprised him, to say the least. 

He stared at the sky as they walked. The sun was just barely starting towards the horizon, and a flock of birds flew overhead. His feet urged him to break off from Logan, to head towards his own home, but he ignored it. Roman and Remus had invited everyone over after school. Had invited him over. 

“Virgil?”

He brought his gaze to Logan, looking at him questioningly. 

“Isn’t it a little hot?” He nodded to Virgil’s thick hoodie. “I know some of the classrooms can be cold, but you’re sweating. I wouldn’t want you to overheat- It’s still a long walk.” 

His face heated up and he looked away. “It’s not too bad,” he mumbled. 

His wrist still ached from his mom’s hand clamped down as she dragged down the stairs the night before. It had been popping all day, and he knew the bruise had darkened over time. 

Logan frowned deeply. “I don’t want to press, but... It’s really not safe.” 

Virgil hesitated. Logan would be suspicious anyway if he didn’t, right? Why overheat at the same time? 

He kept his gaze stubbornly forward as he shrugged his jacket off and threw it over his arm. Logan’s eyes trailed down the claw marks on his arm, to the purple and black ring around his wrist. 

He raised an eyebrow. “Do you have a cat?” 

“No. Why?”

Why didn’t you lie? 

“It doesn’t look like those have been treated. When we get to the brothers’, do you mind?” 

Butterflies fluttered in his stomach. “I don’t mind.” 

Roman: 

Patton fussed over Virgil’s arm when they got to the house, but Logan brushed him away and got Virgil fixed up. Afterwards, Virgil put his jacket back on, and it wasn’t mentioned again. 

Close to two a.m., Remus staggered to his feet and flicked the t.v off. “Alright, everyone staying the night, come with me, the rest of you fuck off.” 

Roman huffed. “Just because you got yourself drunk and can’t stay awake anymore doesn’t mean the rest of us need to crash early.” 

Remus booped Roman’s nose. “You’d regret waking me up.” 

He grinned. “If you pass out, I will be drawing on you. I’ve got the Sharpies ready.” 

Janus rolled his eyes. “You will not, because if you wake me up-”

Roman smiled. “I’ll stay away.” 

Remus pointed at Janus. “Aha! So you will be staying with me!” 

He leaned in, but Janus covered Remus’ mouth. “Brush your teeth first.” 

“I think I’m going to head out,” Patton giggled. “You know how my parents are.”

“Yeah, I have two tests tomorrow.” Logan downed the rest of his hard lemonade and tossed it in the trash. “Pat, I can walk you home.” 

Remus fell into Janus’ lap and whistled. He grunted as Janus shoved him off. 

“Virgil?” Roman looked to him. “Staying or going?” 

He swallowed. “Uh, I can- I can stay, if that’s alright.” 

Roman stood and shooed Janus off the couch. “You can sleep out here, if you want. Assuming Janus has made up his mind.” 

Janus pointed at Roman with his free hand as Remus led him into his room. “Keep your fucking Sharpies to yourself.”

“Goodnight, guys!” Patton called as he followed Logan up the basement stairs. 

“The couch shouldn’t be too uncomfortable, but if you need anything, you remember where my room is, right? Upstairs, it’s the one closest to the kitchen.” 

Virgil nodded. “I remember.” 

“Cool. Night, Virgil.”

“Night.” 

Roman turned off the basement light as he left, swallowing Virgil in darkness. He settled back, pulled the blankets to his chin, and stared at the ceiling. 

There were cracks in the ceiling. Muffled giggling floated through Remus’ closed door, the intro to one of the Saw movies playing quietly. His eyes watered, his chest tight. 

What would his parents say when he got back? When would Virgil go home? He jumped at any chance the others gave him to stay the night. Sometimes he went weeks without going home. Sometimes his parents didn’t care, gave him a grunt of a greeting and told him of the leftovers in the fridge. Sometimes they yelled. Sometimes Virgil walked away with more bruises. He’d never be able to predict them. 

He woke with a start, eyes wide. He blinked frantically as the room came back into focus. He fumbled for his phone and squinted at the bright light. 

4:09 a.m. 

He sighed and flopped back. Another movie played in Remus’ room, but their giggling and talking had stopped. 

Exhaustion pulled Virgil’s eyes shut. He fell halfway into sleep before launching upright, scrambling to turn on his phone’s flashlight. 

He tried several more times falling asleep, even a few with his flashlight still on, but each time he got close, his body insisted he wasn’t safe. He had resigned himself to staying that way through the night when the basement door opened, the light flicked on, and Roman came downstairs with his phone and a worried frown. 

“Virgil?” 

His heart hammered. “Shit, did I wake you up? I’m sorry-”

Roman shook his head and sat on the couch as Virgil folded his legs close. “No, I was awake. Remus texted me. What’s wrong, is the couch too uncomfortable?”

“No, I- It’s fine. I’m sorry, I...” He laughed a little, pushing his bangs back. “You didn’t need to come down here. I’m fine.” 

Roman stared at him as he thought, eyebrows pinched. After an agonizing minute, he said, “If you can’t fall asleep, you can come with me. I’m just watching YouTube.” 

He hesitated. “I don’t want to bother you.”

Roman shrugged. “I’m bored anyway.” He stood and gestured for Virgil to follow. “Come on.” 

Virgil scrambled to follow, his footsteps silent. Virgil understood why he didn’t originally invite anyone to crash with him-- His bed was tiny. Still, he patted the spot beside him and allowed Virgil to cram in next to him. 

He handed Virgil his T.V. remote. “You like those scary videos, right? The, uh... Like, the ‘real’ ones?” 

“Nuke’s Top 10,” Virgil mumbled, thumb hesitating over the buttons. “What do you want to watch?” 

“I’m good with whatever. All my usuals are boring right now.” 

Virgil’s brain moved sluggishly before he thought ‘fuck it’ and put on one of the newer videos, before settling into bed. Roman pressed in behind him and rested his chin on Virgil’s shoulder. 

Virgil fell asleep quickly. Roman’s warmth seeped into his back. He smelled like spices. 

He startled awake around 5am. 

“Virgil?” Roman grabbed his hips to keep him from falling off the bed, voice heavy with sleep. “Virgil, what’s wrong?” 

Virgil gripped Roman’s hands as he fought to catch his breath. “I’m fine,” he panted. “I’m sorry, go back to sleep.” 

“Nightmares?” Roman lazily ran a hand up and down Virgil’s arm as he settled down. “We didn’t have to put on those scary videos, you know.”

He shook his head. “That’s not why.” 

Roman was silent for a while, to the point Virgil thought he’d fallen back asleep. Then he asked, “Are you safe?” 

Virgil blinked. “What?” 

“Are you safe?” He squeezed Virgil’s arm, below the scratches. “We’re not going to get an announcement about you during homeroom later this year, right?” 

Virgil rolled his eyes and sighed. “Of course not,” he whispered. “I’m fine.” 

He paused. “Alright. My parents won’t ever care if you need to stay here for a while. Just so you know.” 

“I’m safe.” He pocketed that away for later. 

Patton: 

Patton gasped as Virgil walked into homeroom. He jumped out of his seat and ran over to take Virgil’s uninjured hand, leading him to their desks. 

“What happened?” He stared at Virgil’s cast in horror. 

“It’s not a big deal,” Virgil insisted. “It’s just a few fingers, they’ll heal.”

Patton grabbed his shoulders and looked him in the eye. “Virgil. What happened?” 

His eyes clouded with panic. He stumbled over his words for a minute before spitting out, “I- I accidentally shut them in the door, it’s fine.”

“Virgil... This isn’t like you. You’re not clumsy, you’re not...” He looked at Virgil with sad eyes. “Are you lying to me?” 

Virgil wet his lips. “No. It was just an accident. Please don’t make a big deal out of it? Please?” 

Patton rested a hand on the side of his face. Virgil leaned into his touch. “Sweetie, I... I need to make sure you’re okay. How do I know this isn’t just going to happen again?”

“It won’t,” he promised. “It won’t. I already fixed the problem, okay? It won’t happen again.” 

Patton hesitated. “Okay.” 

Remus and Janus: 

“This is a stupid idea,” Janus grumbled as Remus dragged him down the sidewalk. 

“Listen, everyone is freaking out, I think it’d calm them down to get some answers.” 

“It’s fucking cold,” he complained. 

Remus sighed and shrugged off his jacket. He held it out. “Better?”

Janus hid a smile as he pulled it on. “Yeah.” 

Feeling a little stupid, Janus followed Remus’ lead and crouched as they got to Virgil’s house. They pressed themselves against the wall under one of the big windows. 

“How long are we going to be doing this?” Janus whispered after a few minutes of nothing. 

Remus shrugged and pulled a book out of his backpack. Janus gave him a flat look. 

“You’re kidding.”

Remus raised an eyebrow. “What, you expected something to miraculously happen the second we arrived? We barge down the doors, carry Virgil out fireman style, and live happily ever after?” 

“Of course not,” he hissed, “but what about-”

Remus pressed a kiss to his mouth. “Please?” 

Janus’ face turned red. He wrapped the jacket tighter around him with a glare towards the road. “Fine.” 

They sat in silence for hours. Remus read his book and Janus curled into his side, largely getting in the way but stopping his complaining. 

“VIRGIL!” 

They jumped, Janus’ heart lodging itself in his throat. 

“VIRGIL, WHERE ARE YOU?!” 

“Follow me,” Remus whispered. 

Janus was too terrified to move, but he was more scared to be left alone, so he scrambled after as Remus circled to the back of the house. They situated themselves under the open kitchen window. 

“I’m here,” Virgil said breathlessly. “I’m here.” 

“Took you long enough,” a man sighed. “Why isn’t this emptied?”

A pause. 

“Sorry, I’ll do that now.” The dishwasher creaked open. 

“It should have been done hours ago.” The man’s voice was cheerful, upbeat. Janus’ skin crawled. “What happened to that?”

“It- It wasn’t done when I got home from school. I’m sorry, I forgot.” 

“You forgot.” The man chuckled. “And if we just forgot to make dinner for a few nights? To pay our rent a few months? Would that be okay?” 

Virgil didn’t answer. 

“Of course it wouldn’t!” The man snapped. “We all have shit to do, Virgil, and they have to get done.”

“I know. I’m sorry.” Virgil’s voice was quiet, resigned. 

“I wouldn’t have to fucking remind you all the time if you knew. What do we have to do to get it through your head? Your mother and I, we work so hard, and you can’t even unload the fucking dishwasher?” 

“I’m sorry, I forgot.” Virgil’s voice came out thick, dishes clacking together quietly. “It won’t happen again, I promise.” 

“This house is a fucking mess. Looks like you forgot to sweep, too. Do I even want to look in the bathrooms? What have you been doing?” 

“I’m sorry, I was working on homework-”

“DON’T LIE TO ME!” 

Virgil sniffled. Remus gripped Janus’ hand hard enough to bruise. 

“I’m sorry, I’ll get it all done, I promise.” 

“Tonight,” the man snapped. “Before dinner, in fact.” 

Janus frowned deeply. It was already close to eight.

“Oh, I’m sorry, do you have a problem with that?”

“Wh- No, no, I-”

“You wanna make that face again? Like a little toddler? When are you going to grow up, Virgil?” 

Virgil started to answer, then cried out as something shattered. He gasped, grass crunching under a shoe. 

The man’s voice came out low, so close to the window it took everything Janus had not to sprint away. “Clean this up. Don’t get blood on the carpet. Do your chores, and go to bed. I don’t want to see you for the rest of the day.” 

Janus peeked up at Remus as footsteps stormed away. Remus’ vicious glare only hardened as Virgil’s soft sobs drifted out the window. 

xxx 

His friends were quiet. It put Virgil on edge. 

They were once again piled together in the brothers’ basement. Janus, instead of how he usually pretended to hate Remus- Something Virgil didn’t understand and didn’t think he ever would -sat curled up in Remus’ lap, ignoring the others stares as Remus ran his fingers through his hair and rubbed his back. Patton was more touchy with Virgil than usual, more gentle. Like Virgil was a shattered plate held together with tape. 

“Okay.” Roman shut off the T.V. “I can’t do this anymore. Virgil, we need to talk.” 

He bristled. They’re sick of you. He pulled his hoodie on and shoved his phone in his pocket. He nodded, ready to leave. 

“Remus and Janus overheard something,” Patton said, resting a hand on his knee. “You can’t lie to us and say they aren’t hurting you anymore.”

Virgil’s eyes widened. “Wh- What?” 

“Your dad,” Janus mumbled, “last night. With the dishwasher.”

Fear washed over Virgil hard enough for sweat to bead on his forehead, stomach rolling with nausea. “He was having a bad night. It’s fine.” 

“Virgil, this should have gotten stitches,” Patton said softly, one hand tapping close to the bandaid on Virgil’s hand. 

“And no good dad does that on a ‘bad night,’“ Remus snapped. 

“Remus,” Roman sighed. “Not helping.” 

Patton’s eyes filled with tears. “We just want to make sure you’re safe.”

“That you survive until graduation,” Logan pointed out. 

“You can trust us,” Patton insisted. “Please, you can be honest.”

Virgil’s bottom lip wobbled as he leaned into Patton’s side. Patton guided Virgil’s head to his shoulder and wrapped his arms around him tightly. Roman hurried over to cuddle into his other side. 

“We know there’s not much we can do right now,” Janus said quietly, eyes on the ground. Remus kissed the side of his head, “but we can’t do anything if you don’t... Talk to us.” 

“I know.” Virgil sniffled and buried his face in Patton’s shoulder. “Can we talk about something else?”

“Yeah,” Roman whispered. “Yeah, we can put on another movie. Or- Logan, can you set up the Xbox? We can play something for a little bit.” 

The six of them rotated through multiplayer games on the Xbox. Patton insisted on being Virgil’s partner each time, and when they waited their turn, he kept an arm around Virgil’s waist. He cuddled into Patton’s side, occasionally letting his eyes fall shut and his mind zone out. 

Everyone stayed over in the brothers’ basement that night, crammed on the couch and piled on top of each other. The next day, things largely went back to normal, until after school where everyone jumped to invite Virgil over. 

He laughed. “I can’t be four places at once.” 

“I call him!” Patton kissed Virgil’s cheek and hugged him. “Try again tomorrow.”

Virgil blushed as Remus whined about Patton not being fair, Roman smacking the back of his head. 

Virgil followed them all as they headed to Patton’s house, laughing and talking over each other. Virgil was pressed between Patton and Logan. 

Virgil peeked at Logan from under his bangs while everyone was distracted. “Thank you.”

Logan smiled. “My pleasure.”