#ordered some clothes for myself
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Kaito's home!!
I sewed and crocheted him a cute little winter outfit to celebrate! He's all nice and bundled up! 💕
#he didn't come with clothes as i ordered him with clothes...#but at least he's able to pose#i might make more outfits in the future if i gave myself time#otherwise i really need to make sure not to get so much cotton doll clothes#they're so cheap!! i had to order him some for summer lol#in case you want to look for him#he's on AliExpress#you may have to search for him but eventually he will show up#he's so cute fr!!#i love him so muchhh#vocaloid#kaito#kaito vocaloid#vocaloid kaito#doll#cotton doll#crochet#project sekai
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#every day i come home and i become very very very very sad and very very very lonely and full of heart break#and panic#and then sit at my computer and immerse myself completely in loneliness and melancholy as both an aesthetic and a just punishment for#for being who I am#in order to make sense of it and in order to dull it#and then I make some art or play some video games until I can sleep so I don't kill myself#:(#personal#i belong to the cold and the snow do you understand#nothing else loves me do you understand#venting#i'm thinking about taking two edibles and becoming a vegetable#these are the exact exact exact methods of survival i remember doing when i was first experiencing trauma#sitting in the clothes closet of my 5th grade classroom telling myself i deserved it all in order to make it hurt less#delete later#anyway thanksgiving was nice
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hey. hey you. yeah, yoU!! the one who actually looks at clothing!!! i request help. i need images of wedding dresses that you think would fit the starter trio [yaku, ed, oli]. pls send images........ of any ideas you have🙏
#i have an image in my brain but in order to draw it i have to look at reference#but i have no interest in staring at clothing#if i were to subject myself to looking at wedding dresses i know exactly what will happen#i will enter the eternal abyss of intricate details and minor differences#things like... collar style. bust style. decorative trim this. sleeve style that.#my research brain will FERVENTLY dig in deeper because it doesn't want to draw some vague generic dress on all 3#BUT MY LIMIT ON ABSORBING CLOTHING INFORMATION IS SO LOW#so after all that research i'll be so bored and tired that i'll never actually draw the thing#so idk i'm asking the masses to help cover for my weakness here#do you have a dress in mind? something that you just know fits their personality??#the blobs in my head are giving me some version of#yaku in a really well covered dress. ed in that slightly slutty style of his. oli is holy-robe level scandalous#but... artistic freedom means i can subject any of them to whatever level of slutty i desire (regardless of what they would actually choose#doesn't have to be the traditional western white dress but that WAS my initial thought.#hm. well. now i'm thinking of yaku in one of those ridiculous qipao that only fit really skinny people 😰#but the allure of having all three of them wearing the same white dress... buT STYLED DIFFERENTLY ACCORDING TO PERSONALITY#.......multiple drawings can be made...........
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Hello everyone, turns out I'm a fool who confused myself and I didn't realize until today that I have some Spider Lily Skaters in all sizes on hand & ready to be released into the shop ✌️😅
I'll be retroactively adding them to yesterday's restock section today at 3pm CT! But I have quite a few so I don't expect anyone will need to rush to grab one. Also if you have an open order from the restock or current in stock items and you want one of these added to your order, please email us at support(at)witchvamp.com and we'll get that handled for you! I hope to see some of you there at this bonus drop today~ 🖤witchvamp.com🖤
#witch vamp#spider lily#spider lily skater#shop update#coming soon#shop drop#announcement#udpate#whoops#yet again struck down by my own scatterbrain#the more designs and clothing types and overlapping manu orders and storage buckets on top of storage buckets on top of storage buckets#that i have going on here#the more i confuse myself#working on some systems to help me keep things straight better with like#what orders i'm waiting on from my manu / what we have on hand / what's tied up in preorders / etc#thanks for understanding
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dresses are so fun ^^
#☆— yapping#never wear dresses or revealing clothes#personal reasons skin blah blah#buttt mother dearest order some and they didn't fit her and i was bored soooo#tried them on for fun#one of them reminded me of morticia addams tbh#might end up actually keeping that one for myself....#who knows maybe
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finally home and it is the weekend. i will try to get to things tonight, if not, tomorrow and sunday for definite. thank you all for being patient with me <3
#i also ordered a ps5 for myelf for christmas :) and some makeup and new clothes for a night out for nye !! i feel myself again#╰ out of americanedpsycho.
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Literally can't pay my rent until I get paid for September, which hasn't happened yet. Today is Friday, and Monday is the last day of the month. I'm so tired of being poor.
#i still cringe to call myself 'poor' bc i have my own apartment and can afford groceries#and even fun stuff like museums and cafe visits and public transport sometimes#but the reality of the matter is that after i pay off my student loans every month#i do not have enough money left to pay the following month's rent#and that's the way it's been my whole life#all my groceries and museum visits and coffee come from those few hundred euros left over#my whole life i've been choosing between 'having savings' and 'having even the smallest most humble life' and obviously i choose the latter#i never go to the movies#i buy all my clothes second hand (got some this past month after not having bought any new clothing in almost two years)#i have visited a museum TWICE this year#i go to restaurants like... once a month max#i am living the most frugal life that i possibly can without denying myself all pleasures#i don't even have netflix or anything like that! i only very rarely order delivery! i cook my own damn meals!#you get the picture#and yet still: one single missed paycheck is enough to potentially fuck up my life seriously#i've never missed a rent payment in my life but i'm scared it may happen this time#just wrote to HR of my former employer (who is supposed to still be paying me through october) to politely ask where my paycheck is#it's probably coming today (i sure as hell hope so) but if it doesn't... i legit don't know how i'm going to pay my rent#my rent is 673 euros and i only have 400 in my bank account#i probably have enough food in my pantry to survive for a month if i had to#but i've never missed rent in germany before (or ever) and i have no idea how long they'd wait before evicting me for non-payment#i'm scared. and i'm tired of being apparently the only fucking person in my social groups who is this poor#i am an over-educated 37-year-old professional who typically gets classed with the 'expats'#but one missed salary payment has me thinking about eviction and affording groceries#this is what i mean when i say i'm an immigrant. not an expat.#those people with their apple watches and co-working spaces and spontaneous trips to thailand or brazil are... a world apart from me#how come everyone i meet is so damn rich? where do i find fellow poor friends?#anyway i'm stressed. and i'm so so tired of spending my mental energy worrying about money#cosmo gyres#personal
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I... I'm crying. People are so nice. So fucking nice and kind and lovely. Someone sent me money just now with the message "Get yourself a pizza." I'm literally in tears rn. Thank you, whoever you are. I love you, I love you, I love you. I've barely been out of bed, let alone eating right.
#i havent taken a shower in a week i havent refilled my meds i havent been taking all my meds for over a week just some#my hair is a mess i need to do laundry desperately because im wearing dirty clothes#i have no spoons and everyone gets mad at me when i make dinner or order dinner#tonight im going to take care of myself#ill get a pizza just for me and shower and try to do laundry as well#im gonna be ok#and with all hope my mom will come home tomorrow
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yippee i am home today (i got home last night) and it has been nice to just do a bunch of housework
#i cleaned up the apartment… mostly vacuumed and dishes and such#i may clean the bathroom tomorrow#i also did a bunch of laundry. all my clothes and then also all bedsheets and kitchen towels/rags#took my doggie on a walk.#ordered all the christmas things i intended to buy that i thought i could get a discount on#bought my gf a steam deck and myself some shoes that are actually Meant for walking#i am gonna go grocery shopping tomorrow instead of our usual day bc my gf works tuesday and i have decided that i don’t want to make her go#to the grocery store after working like 5 consecutive days#so i am just gonna do it tomorrow#by myself i mean. while she’s at work#then miss mochi needs her groomer appt on wednesday. needs her nails clipped and teeth brushed
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why are we having fanmerch manufacturing discourse now
#man speaking as someone who has both ordered fanmerch for myself and who hand makes my fanmerch#this whole discourse seems like it's just punching at fanmerch artists because they're a target in range#rather than actually trying to have conversations about manufacturing and systems of production#like to warp a phrase from a post on here it feels like someone's trying to solve fast fashion by getting rid of all clothes#+ frankly going for purely handmade homemade stuff ain't a grand magic solution either#because that's just kicking the manufacturing and production problems down a step to the materials used to make the product#like me sewing and assembling my plush dolls myself ain't magically inherently more ethical#because the felt and thread and stuffing and so on i use is Also gonna be made in chinese factories#this ain't to say people shouldn't research chinese labor laws and factories#or that they shouldn't try to look into alternatives or cook up ethical ways of manufacturing stuff#it's more just i don't think it's helpful to punch on fanmerch artists about it#specifically BECAUSE these problems are just so much bigger than fanmerch production#i do think also it'd be helpful for like. for someone to actually Talk To some workers at these factories.#like that just feels like a critical POV to have in this conversation
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actually, having a kind of revelatory moment here of if HRT was something i have been considering for this long, but has remained inaccessible to me, then that means i Do actually have opinions about my appearance/presentation, so just because i can't take That Particular step doesn't mean that there aren't plenty of other avenues i could be pursuing (ie, clothing/accessories/etc.) that i just haven't let myself up until this point. like i don't have to shove it All aside just because there's one thing i can't get -- I'd probably still wind up a lot happier if I took those other steps I've spent all these years ignoring
#N posts stuff#like what i mean is; the nearest informed consent clinic is like 80 miles away. theoretically some people could pull that off probably#but i can barely do 5-10 mile drives so that's fundamentally inaccessible. the realization is that IF it was closer#the probability of me actually pursuing that is actually kind of high. not even because i feel a particular NEED for it#hrt is one of those things that for Me is like 'i just think it would be Cool. i don't need it but i might be happier trying it'#BUT one thing i've consistently had problems with is that i Do Not really buy myself clothes because i always get caught up on cost#like 'if i don't really care That Much why should i invest in it' thing. i've been in that rut for most of my life i'd say#complicated by the fact taht i do depend on my mom's advice/help for a Lot of things and we have fundamentally incompatible styles#so not being able to agree on things makes it hard to actually Pursue what i want in these areas#but if leading up to researching clinic options i was both thinking 'i'd spend the money on this' AND 'i'd completely#disregard my mother's opinions on this' in order to pursue it; then since it's inaccessible to me i Should be taking those core convictions#and bringing them to the things i Can change/access and take Those steps instead#to use a wildly different metaphor - the vacation thing of 'wherever you go there You are' -> HRT is the big expensive vacation#but if my clothes are still something i'm not happy with then how much genuine satisfaction would i get out of my appearance after#taking those Big Steps. since the little ones have been left completely in the dust. you know?#no one asked but tumblr is like the only medium i use where i actually go back and look at things from the past#so if i have some kind of revelation about my life it has to go on tumblr if i want to remember it.#(like sure i Could keep journals but actually reading back through them makes me nauseated lmao. so not very helpful in practice)
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Aging user base post incoming, but in the last week I have had to buy both eye drops and nasal spray for my allergies because decongestant allergy medicine alone isn't enough anymore. One of my cup holders in my car is basically a medicine cabinet at this point between those and my lactaid
#on the bright side nasal spray kicks in so fast and i will never have to endure an itchy eye again thanks to eye drops#but yeah i think my allergies are getting worse anyways as i get older (makes sense if im anything like my dad in that regard)#but i do think part of the problems it's giving me now are like. related to when i had covid a couple years back#because yeah my dad has really bad congestion but idk if he gets the same shortness of breath and subsequent chest pain i am#but between the medicine and nasal spray i think ive got that under control now#i also ordered myself some fun cloth masks that will go with a lot of my favorite shirts#just because like. masks help with allergies on top of keeping you from getting other people sick#and i figure i should probably invest in some reusable ones at this point. and if im doing that then i can get fun ones
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ohh I should go back to researching the piercings I wanna get..
#➳ the fool speaks#my plans in order of getting areee. another lobe piercing on each ear. septum. industrial ear. mmmaaaaybe some kind of eyebrow.#maaaaaaybe snake bites? mouth piercings scare me if i think about me getting them though. and if i got an eyebrow piercing#i probably wouldn't get both since I don't wanna go overboard#ummmmm hmm what else. bellybutton I've seen REALLY fucking pretty jewelry for but i haven't looked into the safety or care of it at all so#that one I'm suuuuper unsure about. also it sounds like a pain what if it snags on clothes or smth#anddd there's another one i could theoretically see myself getting but y'all don't need to know that one. shrug#2nd set of lobe + septum are really the only ones I'm super sure about.. everything beyond those are more and more ''we'll see if#the vibe is right when I'm a bit older and have done more research. and have the money''
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I'm on a relatively bright mood and got a good hair day to top it all so I'm making y'all look at my nice hair and my pastel colour aesthetic 💖
#hello yes i've emerged from under the blanket 😅#it's amazing what having a shower and putting on some nice clothes and make up does to you lol#and i even ventured out of the apartment and pulled off something i was very nervous about so yay go me!!#next i'm gonna order dinner (because i deserve to treat myself in the form of cauliflower soup and chickpea-cole curry!!)#and then i'll get back to fic writing 💘#hugs to all of you ✨#(also yes that is a moomin earring)#(also also sorry for no readmore i really did want to hide my face from your dashboards lol but the pictures wouldn't display correctly)
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One of my fave clothing stores was having a huge sale so I just ordered myself a birthday gift of a couple new bras and some fits for summer
I ordered shorts. I haven't worn shorts in like a decade. I am trying to be brave
#i am trying not to think about how much space is left on my credit card but like. i need clothes. i can't just be naked#i mean i guess i CAN but the neighbours wouldn't like it#also i got a new gay shirt for pride month can't wait to show y'all#mod post#clothing#my birthday is in july. usually i buy myself sprinkles as a gift but this year i really needed some clothes#one of the bras i ordered is front-closing. i am trying to find clothes that are easier to put on and wear#so maybe i can get dressed and go outside more often#we'll see if it helps#ok i am babbling sorry bye
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#i slept in two parts today#on both i dramed about some shit that got me mentaly fucking tired#i don't remeber the first one#it probably has something to do with harry and louis and running from someone things we couldn't really run from like physically#and second one was so fucking horrible#maybe not literally blod and guts but#it was stress of getting ready to school in the morning#like i couldn't just get my shit together#no clothes were fitting#i couldn't put them in right order#i had two bagpacks both heavy as fucking hell#and still i hadn't all things i needed there#and all that time my parent were yelling at me to do everything faster or they will drive away and leave me#and it was nightmare that pressure#coz i knew i won't make it by myself (too far away from everything)#and if i stay it would be hell later too#so i didn't actually wanted to go to school but had and it was nightmare#i'm so fucking happy to not have to live though all this shit anymore#i hate it so fucking much#it wasn't that intese like in that dream#but it was horrible for my mentaly anyway#why tf we have to live in the world where we have to do so much shit we don't want#i don't fucking cope good with that#anyway i'm rambling k bye
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