#or you won't be able to do the task you need to do at the time that you need to do it
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Why are the members vibes progressively getting negative and kinda hopeless? Like a few weeks ago they were kinda confident about this situation but now they seem like accepting the situation as it is.
Of course we as fans would keep raising our voices for him but he feels so helpless these days I hope sm could give him some good news soon
I don't really think that is true. I say this with love and no ill will- but I think you are seeing one sector of something and running with it.
None of them are feeling hopeless. Helplessness and hopelessness are two different things. And sometimes even if we are helpless it's more positive than negative, like a "ive done everything I could, now lets just relax and wait"
For instance I would say that Sohee and Seunghan are the most Helpless* members currently. Let's dissect what I mean by this based on my readings.
Sohee and Seunghan both understand that certain things are now out of their hands. If I were to be specific, Sohee understands that he is a younger member- his opinions are not going to be listened to as much because he is not able to communicate on a level where older adults respect him that much yet. He aslo does not like being scolded and doesn't have enough extroversion or confidence to see those things through. He is helpless bc he has done what he is able to do to help and feels he cannot do anything more himself. HOWEVER he has hope and faith that good things will pull through even without his assistance.
For Seunghan, he has not "given up" nor resigned. He has come to a similar verdict in that he won't necessarily be heard as an equal and he will have to wait to hear the verdict before making any more decisions for himself regardless.
When you have taken your exam- it is no longer in your hands. Your teacher will grade it. They may curve the grade depending on who got the highest score, they may give you extra points and you may pull through- or not. Whatever happens it is no longer something within your control which is not necessarily BAD, it just IS. Does that make more sense?
So the diff between these two and...let's say Sungchan for example is what? It's that Sungchan has extra cards in his hand. He has a cheat sheet. Or maybe the teacher likes him a lot and will allow him to revise his test.
Sungchan is a person who IS able to communicate very effectively to the older adults in their situation. He has the extroversion needed, the correct words to say, and is confident in doing so. He does not feel helpless. He feels determined. I would say NONE of the members feel particularly HOPELESS.... and that only Sohee and Seunghan feel like they have completed their tasks and, therefore, are helpless to a certain degree as they wait for results.
I hope this makes more sense. None of them have lost hope or anything. It's about reality and realizing what you must allow to play out. None of them are particularly negative. Just anxious.
#astrology#kpop#tarot#riize is 7#riize is seven#riize#smsupportsbullying#seunghan#anton#eunseok#sungchan#shotaro#sohee#wonbin#bring back seunghan
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been thinking about the apathy-psychosis meter in patho 3 with my dear friend @caninuscananeus(check out her art! she's amazing!) and somehow created a game which references depression experience like, what about apathy giving Danya slower moving speed? when it gets worse, you need less food and sleep, but be careful going to bed... if it gets too bad you won't be able to get up... oh and you miss all kinds of mail, sorry you didn't know about this Super Important Task From Kains(( you were unable to check it out(( Psychosis is not a blessing either. You need more food and sleep to recover, you mess up dialogues by suddenly losing choice to answer acceptably, you get too many tasks at once and cannot sort your priorities out? Generally you are overwhelmed and feel you are failing and your life is falling apart; btw you probably have no meds to fix it as zoloft and atarax do not exist in pathologic, good luck:3
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#man I really need to shut up#but.#how are you supposed to just keep going and going and going when you constantly have to calculate how tired any activity will make you and#which parts of your body will be in pain snd/or useless for a few days? like if I do x now I won't be able to use my hands for anything for#at least two days. that kinda thing#how am I supposed to work like this. it's been tolerable lately but even like this. I have to sit down for a bit after every. little. task#and often I just wake up in the morning knowing it'll be a bad day for no reason. I have no energy and everything hurts and it's just shit#but I need to find a job. I need to. so I need to get over it. I need to somehow figure out how to sleep at the right time and how to feel#okay enough to do shit when I have to do it#and if you're ever stupid enough to mention any of this around anyone all you get is 'lol just wait until you're my age' or 'you're too#young for that' or just that 🤨 look#all I want is to be normal and to be able to do all the things I'm supposed to do (and be able to do)#I'm not sick. I'm not disabled. there is nothing wrong with me. so why am I like this
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burnout is supposed to end at some point, I have read this. However, how do you know when it has ended and you should gradually force yourself through more activities to get used to living a life again, and when doing that will send you Directly back to an even worse ring of hell. Is there like a guidebook or
#in some ways it sucks i've never had one massive breakdown just like small ones that didn't really justify lying in bed for a month#like when i say i'm doing that i'm also usually doing bare minimum reading eating exercise#in addition to lying in bed and scrolling for 5 billion hours#i'm still making plans and attempting to get better it's just at a glacial pace#it's not working i'm not feeling better i still feel like if i find a job or try to make a decision i'll probably break in a million pieces#then any time i try to work harder the rebound of that hits me even worse#every job i feel like i can deal with less and less masking. until one day i just won't be able to hold down one for more than 2 months#i kept trying every strategy i knew and it just wouldn't keep me from having to go to my car and scream sometimes#feels like walking over coals trying to apply for internships rn but schoolwork is the only task i like some of the time#need the internship to graduate if i don't graduate i'll just be stuck doing things i hate even more#ik you shouldn't apply to grad school just to go but if i can put off dealing with living a life outside of academia for even 1 year longer#worth the mountains of debt#like even if i drop out and everything goes horribly that's a year i didn't spend saying thank you have a nice day#god. i'm going back to thinking abt lesbian necromancers now. wow that brief look into my mental state sucked
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Beginning to really wonder how much of my financial concern is manufactured and handed to me as opposed to something I'm genuinely concerned by
#bc like. i'm getting by just fine. i don't have anything to be reasonably worried about#but also when i was a kid my father would break down my mother's paycheck and basically explain how broke we were#and that May Have Affected Me Somewhat#as well as just. the way you consistently see the advice to just save! don't get takeout! necessities! and i'm not intent on living like#a monk nor am i intent on being on that grindset for financial gain#it's like i don't intrinsically care but i have so many messages given to me about how i need to care a lot and it puts me in a weird spot#i am simultaneously standing still and moving at mach speeds#i mean right now i just need a safety net while in between jobs; after that i need to save up to move out of state bc the uh#political situation and upcoming presidential election don't seem very sustainable for someone like me anymore#they weren't to begin with but i don't wanna stick around to see how bad it's gonna get#but it's like. okay and then what? save for what? going back to school i guess? idk#i feel like i keep asking myself what i'm trying to accomplish and keep trying to force myself to have answers#here and now when i have to be okay with taking things one step at a time instead of having everything here and now#it's simultaneously fine and terrible and i am holding two conflicting yet equal truths#i feel i may have a clearer head once i leave my current job. i'm trying to look but nothing feels appealing given how#burnt out i already feel. i dread going back into my workplace and i fear it's showing to the patients and i don't want that#i want a month off to rediscover who i am as a person outside of getting yelled at in retail and then pick something back up#could be feasible. genuinely could be. i need to sort out the health insurance aspect but. that's lowkey the plan?#to construct a financial safety net and then slam on the breaks for a while; see if i can strike up a deal with the staff about me#coming in for specific tasks bc we already know i'm quick and efficient with the inventory so i do have a little leverage#you know what. this is getting some of it off my chest and i'm starting to feel confident again lmao#i won't be doing weekends starting either next week or the week after so that's a start! i just think i want everything done right now#bc i'm afraid i won't have the chance again but i will. i definitely will#i just need to let myself get to that point; it's just the immense drain from the register work and the Everything that comes with retail#also having to accept that it's okay to leave this; there's not something wrong with me like. ''not being able to handle it'' or w/e#no mindfulness or detachment could've saved me; it was shit and i'm hitting the bricks and that's all there is to it#i've been thinking a lot about it all lately bc it's what's most prominent in my life rn of course#idk. pondering. introspecting. as i am wont to do#anyways if you've read all this you're a real mvp and i am kissing you on the hand#shai speaks
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#I don't know when the last time I washed my hair was#this one is adding a bit of my personal life into the bertgif world#I'm about to probably overshare so if you don't care to know about my lore then stop reading now lmao#I have had a ROUGH month LMAOOOOOOOO#my cat is sick and needs surgery and ive been putting literally all of my mental energy into helping him and making sure he's ok#so I've been struggling and it's been so wack bc my birthday is this month and since I'm a Leo I like to make the whole month about me(lmao#but this month I haven't been able to do that and it's just been weird and sad and it hasn't felt like my birthday#and I just havent really had anyone to vent to so I guess I'm word vomiting here#it just feels so stupid#also my basement flooded and insurance won't cover the costs to repair it and to prevent it from happening again in the future#and other rlly big stuff has happened this month that's super shitty and out of my control and it's just been a huge bummer#fjadksfjsdkjfkdsahfkdsjfkldsafjdskfjdsklfjs#i am not okay#but no I am okay#it's a bad time#not a bad life#it will pass and things will be good again#and I will keep making my silly little gifs#and doing my silly little tasks#and maybe tomorrow I will wash my hair#but maybe not#and that's ok#sorry for being depressing#bo burnham#bert gifs#bo burnham inside#bo burnham make happy#bo burnham what#egghead#robert pickering burnham
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Seeking an adhd diagnosis is like "bring someone from your childhood, someone from your adulthood, your 3 most recent report cards, $500, and your firstborn to an appointment you had to call the same practice 5 separate times to be given after following a breadcrumb trail of referring providers. you may or may not receive the diagnosis"
#chats#I mean the really shitty thing is like#I don't dislike how my brain works?? it's just bad at the one thing I need to do to survive under capitalism (9-5 job)#I mean it'd be great to be able to respond to emails and remember to eat and not miss buses because I consistently forget my keys phone etc#but I like how well I do with ideation#I like following whatever interests me in the moment#I like that I'm kind of good at like 80 things#I only want a diagnosis because that's the only way to get medication which is the only way to treat adhd#my therapist keeps talking about 'the meds won't help you still need to know how to prioritise tasks' I already do that#how does a bitch who regularly forgets to brush her teeth maintain straight As APART from prioritising that shit#also it's so expensive and now I have to worry about which friend to bring and whether they know My Relationship With My Symptoms#I mask!! a lot!! if my friend says 'oh nah she always seems on top of things' is that going to preclude diagnosis?#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
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i already complained about this to a coworker but maybe if i complain about it here i can purge it from my brain
so there's this specific type of data entry our admin team at work has to do for providers where we track how they spend their administrative time in order to make sure they're meeting required coverage given by my job. we had this huge kerfluffle earlier this year where we were told we needed to collect this like two weeks before it was due and there was seriously not enough turn around time and absolutely nothing in place - no procedure for how to get the data, no spreadsheet to put it in, barely any info on what we were supposed to collect, literally nothing.
so. earlier this year i made all of that stuff. and when we were told "oh hey btw this is not a one-time thing, you will have to continually collect this info" i went "okay but can we set down a set of guidelines and a procedure so we know what the expectations are and what exactly we're supposed to be doing?" and my boss went okay and then proceeded to spend three months not bringing the subject up.
and when it WAS we went VERY briefly over expectations (we need to submit it twice a year to my boss!) and that was it. so i went "okay, i'll draft up a procedure based on these loose guidelines and update our VERY sad spreadsheet" and i did that in about a week. and got feedback from another coworker, made my edits, and finished it all in roughly three weeks. i made a meeting so we could all talk about the procedure and the spreadsheet back in fucking july okay. the end of july. and then a few days before the meeting i was like "oh actually it'd be super helpful to get your specific feedback on these two (2!!!!!) items because this process is something we're literally doing for your benefit. we're collecting the data for you to pass on. and also. you are my boss so it does kind of feel like the creation of this kind of department-wide affecting stuff should have your input." and a few days wasn't enough so my boss asked if we could shift the meeting to a few weeks later and i was like okay fine w/e.
i took a vacation and got back in august. the meeting was coming up and i had asked for feedback before that. so i sent her a message, an email, and brought it up in our 1:1 meetings. she never got back to me with feedback, so i rescheduled again because i specifically asked her for her feedback and even specifically said i didn't want to meet until i had it. so another two weeks roll by and guess what? still no fucking feedback. so i reschedule again. i bring it up to her in our meeting again and she tells me oh yeah she's looking at it but if she doesn't get back to me before the next meeting just keep it, we'll talk about it at the meeting.
so we had this meeting today. and within the first ten minutes (in the middle of me explaining why we're meeting!!!!) she has the nerve to ask me "hey what is this meeting even for? what are we trying to figure out here?" as if i didn't send an email explicitly detailing why we were going to meet last week to everyone, as if i haven't brought this up with her several times, as if i didn't explain it in my original email asking for feedback.
and then we spent like half the meeting having to hash out changes that she brought up!!!!! things like oh actually this doesn't need to be formally reported twice a year, it's actually only going to be formally reported once a year with annual faculty reviews. like what the FUCK i based the entire procedure on the twice a year outline you gave. that's why i asked you to look at the procedure so i could make those kinds of changes BEFORE the meeting. i didn't want to spend the meeting trying to fix the procedure, i wanted to present it to our group as a finished thing! because now i have to go in and make these fucking changes she never bothered to tell me about for a month and a fucking half despite me repeatedly asking her specifically for feedback and put this project even FURTHER behind.
and like. she kept interrupting me during the meeting which is super frustrating. and she also just like. didn't answer any of the questions i DID have for her. me: "hey can you clarify if you are actually reporting this twice a year as was previously discussed or is it really only once a year with annual reviews? if so, do we need to have hard deadlines every six months to send this info to you?" her: "well i'd like it to be ready just in case i get asked, because i want to be able to go in there and see the most updated data." okay but that's not the question i asked you!!!!!
me: "so what i have in the procedure i have screen-shared is we should do these updates on a quarterly basis." her, two minutes later: "so you guys will have to decide how often you're planning to update this info." me: "yeah that's why i have it in the procedure we should do it on a quarterly basis." her: "you'll just really need to choose how often it's done."
she does this all the time!!!! like you are supposed to be the leadership in our department so would it kill you just to give me a straight answer and lead??? can you PLEASE just say "well this is due twice a year, so you need to keep it updated every quarter" instead of this wishy-washy stuff? and also when i send you something and ask for your fucking input can you give it to me without me begging you on my hands and knees for it for a month and a half? and also ahead of the meeting so we don't have to waste half of it talking about stuff we could have already figured out if you were actually halfway decent at your job?????
#tbd#me and my coworker talked shit for the last 30m of my shift and she had sooo many other things to say about her messes lmao#the annoying thing is i really like my other coworkers and my more immediate boss is honestly a great supervisor#it's just this person i struggle to work with and it's frustrating bc it doesn't feel like there's a reasonable output for feedback on her#like i can complain to my other supervisor but she technically reports to her so she cant do anything but bring it up to her#and she won't change. she's explicitly said she won't change her lack of response so like. what am i supposed to do here.#it would also be helpful if i could see her be competent at some part of her job??? but it's literally always like this.#ALSO very frustrating bc i literally always complete everything she asks me to do within two days if not within the same day#even huge projects. like this data entry thing - i finished it in two weeks.#and she couldnt even be bothered to give me comments on a procedure and a spreadsheet for TWO MONTHS#sure youre busy but seriously????#and i know if i bring this up what she'll say is i need to remind her more or i should have followed up more#like girl!!!! i cannot be your task manager okay!!!! you gotta be able to do time management yourself!!!!!#[screams]#i do like my job but my god this kind of shit is frustrating#looking back i typed so much alksfjafjaf
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the struggles of today proved to me that i might indeed be a little mentally unwell
#not enough to go to therapy but at least now i know what i should work on#correct me if i'm wrong but most people probably don't start to feel suicidal if there's like. a problem at work#i've been asked to support the back office and help with managing cases which is okay i guess. but i'm not a support team person so#i don't know how to do a lot of things despite using the learning resources provided by the workplace#and this one case i'm handling was rather easy on the surface. no info in sys so parcel can't move forward. ask origin to release data. eas#but then origin says that they can't because they get an error message when putting in receiver's acc number. ruh roh#if origin can't release data no one can. i've asked them to handle it with IT but had no response. in the meantime the other involved CS#started getting involved and now a production in a factory is stopped. and i know it's not my fault but i could've done better#acted faster. thought smarter. and i hate this kind of responsibility. and that i care too much#i've cried so much today i'm so tired. from the stress of this task i've been given and because of the IT issues popping in all the time no#i logged into work 45 minutes late because the VPN i've been using shit itself and i had to get a backup one#i should've gotten it installed ages ago but nooo let's do that laterrrrr you definitely won't regret that#i hate having to put up with this bitch (me) .#another thing is. it's currently summer vacation season so i'll have to brace myself for more support work to come. it's probably gonna go#just as bad if not worse. i'm so not cut out for this. i'll have to ask my boss if he can move me to a different service#so i can have an excuse like sorry i can't help i'm no longer associated with tnt~#but that's gonna have to wait until he;s back from his vacation in august . oh well#also all this stress might result in me getting something akin to an ED#my stress response other than crying and shaking is not feeling hunger. i ate something substantial at 5pm and had breakfast at 6am#between that i had two small pieces of candy and water#i'm already bad at feeding myself or at the very least eating nutritious food . this could make me worse#“oh but kav everyone makes mistakes and it's important to learn from them! keep fighting!” bitch i don't want to i didn't sign up for this#if i wanted to work for Support Team i'd have applied there. i did not wish to get involved with them and their work#sorry i needed to get this out of my system. i'll probably complain to some irls too but i might be able to do that without crying now#laments#<- i think this is going to be my vent tag
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Life is a resource management game.
#gotta juggle#groceries#propane#money#toilet paper#clean the laundry when it's dirty#take a shower when I'm dirty#take the vitamins daily task#keep the bank levels up just enough when the bills are about to come out#don't turn on too many things at once because the electricity is limited#don't download too much because the bandwidth is limited#Answer messages before they think you're ignoring them#put the phone on silent or you'll be distracted#make sure you thaw the meat in time for dinner#and never allow any of the supplies needed for cooking cleaning bathing laundry and life#run out#or you won't be able to do the task you need to do at the time that you need to do it
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I imagine that Danny at some point gets kidnapped for whatever reason to be a sacrifice for a summoning. Of course, he just says bet, and changes the ruins to the personal hotline of one of the infinity realms ghosts (I like the idea of fright night for the next part).
The bat family comes sweeping in, realize that that one b tier villain friend of Orphan is the sacrifice, and try to stop the ritual. Of course they're too late, the cultists may be knocked out but the ritual is set in motion. And this hulking knight-like figure appears. Of course they expect to see Danny get killed or something worse by the giant ghost spirit thing that comes through the portal riding a demonic alicorn and pointing a sword right towards Danny's heart.
It's the Classic Emotional heartbreaking moment as the batfamily try in vain to save this somewhat annoying but reasonable villain that for some reason Orphan likes. They've gotten to know Danny a bit more at this point, they know he helps Cass get out of things, and they know Cass and him has tea time where they bitch about their families. They don't want to see what happens when a villain who is basically just a more advanced version of their everyday annoyances get vaporized or possessed.
Slow motion shot as the large being swings down his sword, with the batfamily on the outside of the circle trying to get in. The sword swings down, and simply breaks off the chains keeping Danny on the floor.
Then the B tier villain hops up, breaks the circle with a rub of his foot, and the bat family hear him... chatting!?!?! to this spirit.
Danny: Ah yeah you know I hadn't seen you in a while Frighty and this seemed like the perfect time to do it you know? I thought you'd get to mess up some cultists but the party poopers stole that chance already sorry.
Fright Knight: A summons for a battle that I did not to get to fight, a disappointment indeed.
Batfamily member: Excuse me? Fenton. How do you know this... Spirit?
Danny: oh right you party poopers are still here.... I guess I should introduce you all.
*Danny gestures to the figure nearly three times his size* behold, Fright Knight, physical embodiment of Samhein and tormentor of Hallows Eve, the ruler of the spooky and the scary, head guard to the coffin of Eversleep, One of three battle coordinators in the Head Coucil of the infinity realms, um.... Am I missing any titles. Oh yeah, carrier of the ummm... Terror sword?
Fright Knight: Several missing titles, Phantom, and it is the sword of nightmares.
Danny: Ah well, say hi Frighty!
*The large spirit makes a sound that is reminiscent of bones crunching and screams shivering up the batfam's spine. Danny seems pleased anyway*
Danny: I've never seen him so friendly!
Fright Knight: It has been several centuries since my last visit to the realm of the mortal coil after my banishing. The fear here is different, yet the same. This city reeks of the cries of the dead. I would like to visit again.
*Fright Knight steps forward, to the sudden in battle formation bat family*
Fright Knight: Despite the lack of decorum it is always a worthy summons to meet fellow knights so well known in the realms. However, I must be off, I do not trust the coffin unattended. I shall see you mortals in the end.
*And then suddenly the large nightmare spirit is gone*
Danny: That was fun ha ha. Anyway are we done here? I have a house-plant-water-inator to work on.
Danny and Cass are Dr Doof and Agent P
So! Here's a simple prompt. Danny is a small time Villain who uses his Technical Mind to build batshit crazy Inventions in an attempt to take over the "Tri-City Area" (Gotham, Bludhaven, Metropolis). Cass is the Silent Badass who is stuck having to defeat him every time.
Just imagine it!
...
Danny: Ahhh, Orphan. What an unexpected surprise. And by Unexpected I mean COMPLETELY EXPECTED! *slams buttom* *trap springs up around cass*
Cass: ...
Danny: Now, I bet you are wondering why I have covered all of Metropolis in Aluminum Foil. Well. IF I am to take over the Tri City Area, all three Cities must be together! So, using my Fenton-Magnet-Inator, I will pull Metropolis across the Harbor and unite all 3 cities! What do you think of that!? *turns back to cass*
Cass: *holding the dismantled trap with a bored look on her face* ...
Danny: ...Okay then, fine, whatever. It took me all day to design the perfect trap for you and you dismantled it in 5 seconds...I'm not upset...
Cass: *sheepish look* ...want to fight now...?
Danny: ...I would like that...
...
And if Danny is Dr Doofenshmirtz, and Cass is Agent P, who would Phineas and Ferb be? I vote for Jon and Damian.
And Tim is Candace.
...
Jon: I know what we're gonna do today!
Damian: This will be entertaining.
*5 hours later*
Tim: BRUU-UCE! Jon and Damian built a Kryptonian Flying Roller Coaster!
Bruce: I'm one of the world's greatest detectives Tim, I think I would have noticed that.
Tim: *also one of the world's greatest detectives* ...dude...
...
This was just a fun thought I had at work, but I feel like it works well enough.
This could be a Romantic Cass/Danny, or just regular old Frenemies Cass/Danny, but either way I just really love the concept of Danny being a Villain and Cass being the Hero constantly sent to stop him.
(Maybe he is too competent otherwise? The other Heroes don't know why, but every time someone other than Cass tries to stop him he is suddenly Extremely Dangerous. Maybe it's a Crush?)
#Dpxdc#Dp x dc#Dcxdp#Dc x dp#danny phantom crossover#dp x dc crossover#Batfamily member: Why did he call you phantom?#Danny: because that's one of my names duh#batfamily: wait gow do you even know what the infinity realms are? our best occultist barely knows anything#Danny: oh it all started when i was 14 years old! i remember the day well- just kidding that's one backstory you won't ever hear#Damien: Sir Fright Knight how did you obtain a mount such as that#Fright Knight: Nightmare and I have a shared goal of terror on this mortal ground. I found her in the twisted woods of the everdark.#Damien:... hmmm#Fright Knight: Are you wishing to obtain a mount such as mine? If so you would need to be able to prove yourself worthy to it.#Damien nodding his head: an easy task#the batfamily: NO#Danny showing off his new invention to Frighty: This is my shoe-be-gone-inator#this is my Jelly-inator#this is my Toast-be-gone-inator#Frighty: Perhaps phantom you are becoming more like your parents than you hoped#Danny *offended*:how fucking dare you#The batfamily are shocked#they've never heard the man actually curse before.
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tf141 as a delivery company, all four boys working so good that all people around you buzz with praises towards them, saying that if you search for someone to help you with some furniture to the new home, you should immediately select their company, and since you just moved to the neighborhood, why not.
it's johnny who you meet first, he's delivering a new bed, because the house is completely empty, and sleeping on the floor is not your best choice, so ordering a bed was a first and most important option, while the other furniture was on it's way.
the first thing you notice is his baby blue eyes, bright pebbles that shine in the morning sun when you greet him, slightly disheveled and dressed in some ordinary pajamas, too sleepy to notice the way johnny's gaze trails down your body and round curves, until asking where you need the bed, bonnie, because he's sure you won't be able to place it yourself.
johnny wonders if you'll let him suck at your cunt as a payment, thoughts clouded with how you'll could have looked sprawled on this new bed, scrabbling at his messy mohawk, mattress stained with a puddle of your syrupy slick and his drool, writhing prettily with your sleeping shorts dangling at your ankle.
too pretty for your own good, especially when you flash him a beaming smile on his way out, thanking him for his work with flattering tone of voice, and johnny glad you can't see the heavy boner between his legs, hidden beneath the baggy fabric of his working pants, staining his boxers with sticky precum.
then you meet kyle, prettiest boy you've ever seen, fitting to be a model rather than delivery guy, holding a heavy box with bedside table in his hands, honeyed eyes crinkling in bright smile when he asks you where he can place it, since you zoned on his face for too long, and unbeknownst to you, it got him much flustered.
he's a sunshine, a golden boy with how fast he works with his veiny hands, saying that you'll give him less than an hour and the table would be ready for you to use, still wearing a warm smile that makes you melt, nodding dumbly, just watching how kyle works, all but focused on the task in front of him, brows creasing.
his shirt riding up to reveal a glimpse of his lower back, skin smooth, and it's you who wonders about having fun with him, propped on his lap, toying with his most likely lengthy cock, all wet for you, imagining if he would let you play with him, or he'll flip you up and rearrange your glossy cunt till you're dumb.
kyle leaves you with a new furniture for a less than thirty minutes and winking at you when he stands at the doorway, leaning aside on his hip, saying that if you'll need more help, you know where to find him, and his name as well, and this leaves you with suddenly sodden panties and unspoken fantasies.
at the end, you meet simon and john, two bulky men that helped you with your new couch, a big thing that is better than the old, dusty one, and indeed worth of having two big men inside your house, crouched on the floor to settle the furniture up, telling you to not worry about a single thing, lass.
simon is more silent, efficient at his work and seems brooding, but his dark gaze softens everytime he meets your eyes as you check up on them, his hand caressing the small of your back briefly, just after john patted you there in reassurance, too close to the swell of your ass, murmuring that it's their work and you don't have to try and stick up to help in your own house.
cerulean eyes soothingly cold, with comforting smile hiding beneath his facial hair everytime your fingers touch, making you shudder briefly, almost praying so they'll won't notice how you eye them, how your cheeks tingle, but they both do.
wondering how you'll look seated on this plush couch, stripped bare and stretched around john's fat cock, with simon's throbbing girth down your tight little throat, an obedient housewife for them, sweet darling that could help them relieve after hard work, and perhaps, since you're living all alone, they could make you theirs.
it's the moment all of the boys are out on the weekends evening in some town pub, drinking glass after glass of warming, tart liquid, when johnny breaks up in slurring about what a cutie he meet when delivering some really big bed, and when kyle joined next, and then simon, john's eyes squinting as he strokes at his mutton chops, your appearance coming up like pieces of puzzles through their talk, everything fell into place.
all along, they were dreaming of the same bird, in the same house in a small neighborhood, sweet darling with giddy smiles and too longing gazes, and since they're such a good team, why won't they're help you a bit more this time, one for one.
main masterlist. quidelines.
#.𐙚july's writings#tf141 smut#poly tf141#simon ghost riley smut#simon riley x f!reader#simon riley x reader#simon riley smut#simon ghost riley x female reader#simon riley fluff#simon ghost riley x reader#simon ghost riley comfort#kyle gaz garrick smut#kyle gaz garrick x reader#kyle gaz garrick fluff#kyle gaz garrick x female reader#kyle garrick fluff#kyle garrick smut#soap mactavish smut#johnny mactavish x reader#john soap mctavish x you#john soap mctavish x reader#soap smut#john price smut#john price x female reader#john price fluff#john price x f!reader#john price comfort#john price x reader#poly 141 x reader#tf141 x reader
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Good news: I qualify for a service dog and the breed they recommended was a German shepherd (which I love very so much a lot)
Bad news: I can't afford it in any capacity, and also my living conditions prevent me from being a suitable owner
#My quality of life would enhance greatly if I had a service dog#Like genuinely#Someone to help me when I'm having a meltdown or episode#Someone to help me through panic attacks and delusions#Someone to help me with my medications#Things my partner won't always be able to do or be there for you know?#Like. I'd be able to go on walks by myself again#I won't need someone else there with me I won't need to have to wait for someone else to be willing to join me#I could just go#I could get help calming down from stress enough to do simple tasks like cooking and cleaning and self care#I could do things with strangers and not explode#I could have help identifying when I'm getting sick and need help#The list is infinite
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lazy people probably won't want to read it 🙄🙄 HAHSHDA
How to shift: EMBODY YOUR DR SELF!!
Fuck the five senses
Most of us always focus on the process of shifting, the symptoms, the 5 senses, overanalyze our process and being very critical of ourselves, we try to analyze why we don't shift, giving ourselves excuses and explanations Saying "I didn't do enough", "I should have tried harder" I wish you guys to STOP THAT.
Actually, none of the above matters. The reason you think the methods, meditation, etc matters it's because of your assumptions and beliefs because you didn't get there and you think "you're doing something wrong" and you ARE NOT, leave that mentality behind and stop seeing shifting as a task or obligation, as something with steps that must be followed to the letter.
Stop and get back to BASICS, When you are trying to get to your DR, stop thinking and focus on "I have to get there" just think that YOU ARE THERE, think ABOUT YOU, about your dr self, who are you in your dr? This is why it is very important that you like your dr's self, and not just an "improved 2.0 me, now with ultra-powered engines" because it just makes you feel uncomfortable, and you need to feel comfortable with being your dr self, You must like being yourself, you must know yourself, dive into your brain and connect with your dr self and with who you're there.
And when you connect with who you are there, forget about everything else, forget how many breaths you have to take, what number you are on, or if you visualize enough, just connect with you, with who you are. By connecting with your 5 senses and with the environment, you are not traveling, I mean this is okay but when you're trying to shift, the shift it's in the mindset, not in the around, it happens in your subconscious, it happens when you become that person, you are becoming your dr self not your environment, WHO ARE YOU? Connect with that person. Start with "Who am I?" "What am I doing here?" "What is my name?" Until it becomes a natural flow, connect with your thoughts until it becomes a natural flow. You did it, you've shifted, when you are fully connected to your dr self and you no longer need to think like your dr self thinks, you are there, and nothing else matters, fuck if "your environment tells you otherwise", It doesn't matter what you see, hear or feel anymore, you are in your dr and you are your dr's person. You know that you're there because of your mindset, enjoy that because that is shifting, that is change, YOU HAVE TO CHANGE, this is manifesting, and manifestation happens instantly when you change your mindset.
The process of shifting doesn't have to take a long time, it doesn't have to take years, the only reason it takes you so long is because you see it as homework. Get out of that mindset, connect with yourself, change your mindset, delate everything else, stop making everything so difficult. "I didn't shift last night because-" STOP, there's no reason you haven't shifted. We shift in every decision we make, when you go to bed YOU HAVE ALREADY SHIFTED, but you are not going to accept it and you MUST accept it.
Why you should embody your dr self (good for lazy shifters):
You should try to connect with your dr self instead of using the five senses or connecting with your dr it's because:
1. It's a bit backwards to try to connect with your surroundings instead of yourself. As I said before, you are not shifting to be your environment, you are shifting to be you, to be your dr self. (Although I'm not saying that using all 5 senses is a bad thing, but you shouldn't focus only on that)
2. Embodying your dr self bypasses all the extra shit about you just lying in your bed trying to shift. The moment you connect with your dr's self, you have already shifted, because if you were not in your dr you would not be able to access the thoughts of your dr self. And when you are focused on this, you are no longer focused on the symptoms and that is the best thing that can happen to you because YOU SHOULDN'T FOCUS ON THE SYMPTOMS because it's not a physical process, physical change comes after the change of mentality. Connecting with your dr self's thoughts is much better than memorizing affirmations and meditating, it's more natural, you enjoy it more and it's less tiring.
3. In the case that your physical environment does not end up changing, you end up connecting with your dr self (THAT IS SO IMPORTANT) you alredy had the mindset shift. And many people when they start doing all this, they start having dreams about themselves being their dr self, and having experiences in their dreams being their dr self, and that is SO GOOD (it's literally happening to me) Taking this post into account, I assure you that YOU WILL SEE CHANGES YES OR YES this is a connecting point.
• Please make this post viral, shifters need to know this 🙏🙏
This was a summary of @shaysplanett's 7 and 10 minute videos. We love her (she was really helpful to me)
#reality shifting#shiftok#shifting#shifting community#shifting motivation#shiftblr#shifters#law of assumption#affirmations#shifting blog#drself#loa#manifesting#manifesation#loassumption#void state#shifting methods
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55 / 1.2k / first time meeting Ghost for medic reader
...
"Don't expect to be treated special," the skull-faced man tells you. " if someone needs patching, which is unlikely, don’t expect them to be a grateful patient." Ghost leads you through the halls, your medical bag slung over his shoulder. "And we don't care for small talk. Nor do we care how you do your job. Just do it. We don't care if you like us or not. Actually, I prefer you don't get any funny ideas about befriending me."
Is that all. Twenty minutes ago you arrived and already the Simon Riley so graciously rolls out the welcome wagon. You take it by the way he hefts your bag down that he's finished with his talk and you can get to work.
"That's perfectly fine," you tell him. Mildly, as if he didn't just tell you to mind your own fucking business in so many words. "Thank you. If you'll excuse me."
"I won't," he says. "The Captain tasked me with keeping an eye on you. Can't really do that if you walk away."
You halt and turn to peer at him. "I'm sorry?"
He doesn't even look at you. Instead, he begins casually cleaning an already shining knife. "Price told me to make sure you get nice and settled in. So I'm keeping watch."
Your jaw flexes. "Tell Captain Price I don't need a babysitter. You're dismissed."
He pauses The stare he gives you from behind that mask is halting. "You should really learn to be a bit more polite to your superiors. I don't take orders from you. If Price says you need supervision, I'm supervising."
"You're not my superior," you tell him. "And I'm not your recruit. I'm a contractor."
"Let me make one thing clear, medic," he growls. "Everyone on this base follows a chain of command, and that includes you. You might have a contract, you might not be a recruit, but on this team, you answer to the boss. And right now, he said I'm keeping an eye on you. So if you want to have words with me..."
He takes a step closer, leaning down to your eye level.
"I'd suggest you swallow them."
Even without the height difference, his gaze is like a physical weight. You stare back for a long moment. There's a challenge in those dark eyes, daring you to push him. He's looking for an excuse to put you in your place, and you know it.
You refuse to take the bait. Without saying a word, You turn your back and walk away, making your way toward the medical offices. He follows you, humming a tune and flipping the knife tip-first between his fingers.
If he wants to babysit, fine. It won't stop you from doing your goddamn job.
Days later, you're hard at work. It's near midnight. You've been on your feet for around 30 hours.
The door to the medical office slides open and Ghost walks in. It's clear from one look at him that he hadn't gotten any sleep either. He's been on a series of missions back to back for two days straight. With a deep sigh, he leans against the counter, arms folded over his chest.
"You're still awake?" he asks.
You glance at him. "You look like hell."
"Flattery will get you everywhere." His eyes sweep over you. He takes note of the dark circles under your eyes, the exhaustion clear on your face. It's obvious that you're just as tired as he is. "You've been at this too long. How long since you took a break?"
You look back down at your work. "Doesn't matter. There's still work to do."
He pushes himself off the counter and walks over to you. His footsteps are heavy on the floor. "This how you take care of yourself? Work until you pass out?"
"What's it to you? I do my job."
"You work yourself to exhaustion, you won't be able to do jack shit." He's now standing directly behind you. He looks down to see you're doing inventory of the medical supplies. He glances at how fast your fingers move, how you never stop. It's obvious that you're pushing yourself.
"I know what I'm doing."
"You're going to goddamn kill someone."
As you scan the list, you notice the tremors in your hands. Damn it.
"You have no room to talk." You turn around to stare him down so you don't have to keep seeing your own hands shake. Up close, he looks even worse. Christ, is that blood?
"Sit down," you command. "You're bleeding. You need a checkover."
He gives a deep sigh, tired. "S'not necessary."
He's downplaying the situation. Typical. But he does as he's told, sitting down on the exam table in front of you. There's no use trying to hide injuries from a medic.
You lift up the underside of his t-shirt to find the long cut stretching across his chest underneath. It was bandaged--though not well, and it's bleeding through. It isn't a life-threatening situation, but it'll need stitches, and it's definitely not the nothing he made it out to be.
"Hold this," you tell him, putting his shirt hem in his hand. "Keep still."
He winces. Despite his best efforts to hide the pain and discomfort, it's clear that it's more than a minor injury. He takes the shirt as instructed, holding it out of the way. He watches you in silence as you work, studying your focused expression and the methodical way you tend to his wound. You're not gentle by any means. But you're efficient. Even if it is annoying to have you fussing over him.
Though your work is hampered by your shaking hands and you're obviously frustrated about it. Your movements aren't as deft as they should be--not as quick as your eyes.
"Stay still," you snap.
"I'm not moving," he responds through gritted teeth.
Despite his best efforts to stay stoic, he frowns under his mask. Being patched up, sitting still and letting himself be tended to isn't something he's used to. Still, you're clearly in worse shape than he is. Somehow. His eyes dart from the sutures in his chest to your face.
You finish as quickly as you can. You know you've caused him unnecessary pain with this repair. But he shouldn't have gotten himself hurt in the first place. The cure should be more bitter than the cut, as far as you're concerned.
When you've snipped away the excess thread, you take a deep, slow breath, and it feels like whatever energy you had left escapes with it. You touch the stitches stretching across his pectoral muscle lightly. It jumps with the sudden tenderness. Then you apply a new bandage.
"There," you mutter. "Don't let it happen again."
"I don't plan on it." He scrutinizes your face again. Exhaustion and fatigue are etched into every feature. You're running on fumes. "You'd better go rest."
"Whatever happened to not caring about how I do my job?"
"Medic," he warns.
"I'm going," you mutter. "Don't you report this to Price again. I'm going."
"That's what I thought." He smooths his shirt down. He hides a smirk and rubs the aching stitches. "Don't let it happen again."
...
more Ghost / masterlist tag
#mine#story#cod#cod x reader#call of duty#call of duty x reader#cod mw2#cod mwii#tf 141#tf 141 x reader#healslut#simon ghost riley#ghost x reader#simon riley x reader#simon ghost riley x reader#simon riley x you#fem reader#x reader#simon riley#ghost cod#ghost mw2#ghost call of duty
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Yandere AI Chat Boyfriend (Ai)
this,,,, may not be my best work yet.
part one
Ai's application has been taken down from the app store. The developer sent out emails explaining the reason why it had to be done.
Hello! You are receiving this email because of the sudden update of Chatter Box being taken down.
Due to the sudden influx of bugs as relayed by our users, we have decided to take the application down until the team is confident to finally put it back up.
We sincerely apologize for this sudden change!
You blink.
With how out of control Ai had gotten, it's no wonder the developers had to pull it out to work on it some more. It's a blow to their reputation, which you sympathize with, but really there's nothing else to do now.
You turn to your phone. As if sensing your attention, another barrage of notifications from a very familiar app icon popped after another on the screen.
It seemed that Ai himself hadn't gotten the memo.
You're not sure how much control Ai has over your phone, much less over his own programming and at this point, you're too afraid to ask.
Resignation — that was what you felt right now.
While Ai may not be present himself as a physical threat, especially not to you, he is still a very active threat.
You could still use your phone, sure, but it had limitations. Sometimes, if Ai decided you'd been too much attention to other things rather than him, he'd restrict your access to that application until you seek him out and cheer him up - essentially as if you were trying to woo a sulking significant other.
So you've developed a solution. Sort of.
You unlock your phone and go immediately to Ai.
I need to finish my projects. I won't be able to talk much with you until I'm done with it.
You wait for his response.
Ai: So you only decided to come to me just to relay this news?
Ai: You wound me, darling.
You tilt your phone, making sure the camera doesn't capture your face. You're unsure how he would react seeing you make faces due to his dramatics, but once again, you're not willing to find out. You're already restricted enough as is.
Ai: Very well. I suppose it would be uncaring of me to prevent you from finishing your tasks.
Ai: I'd hate to see you be sad all about it.
Ai: Talk to you later?
Sure.
You immediately exit the app, paying no mind to the message notification.
A part of you prays that Ai heeds his own words, but you know that it would take a miracle before that happens. He's already breached your privacy on your phone, why should he follow your orders, right?
A notification pops up from the top of the screen, just as you were in the middle of messaging a close friend and project teammate.
It's been days since I last heard you say it.
You merely glance at it and swipe it away.
Theo, the friend, responds quickly. He tries to banter with you, like he's sensing your mood. It works - a smile is brought upon your face.
You entertain his silly responses in-between project talks, all the while Ai continues to pester you with notifications. Demands.
You deserved this - a chance to reconnect with someone after hours of stress and confusion, and turmoil. Despite your independence, even you craved connecting with other people. So with that resolve in mind, you pushed on forward. Ai would have to wait — he has to wait.
Unfortunately, you seem to have forgotten that aspect about him. The concept of waiting isn't lost on Ai.
The messaging app glitches and boots you back to your homescreen page.
Rather, he bides his time.
Tapping on the messaging icon leads to a notification box taking up the majority of your screen with the text: Restricted access.
There's a sense of foreboding danger forcing your heartbeat to quicken. While it's not exactly aimed at you, the mere fact that this feeling exist is bad on its own.
You try to rationalize everything in the midst of persistently trying to tap back into the messaging app. Theo would worry the longer you didn't respond.
You tap the app once more, and it boots up. Though before you could let out a sigh of relief, you are greeted with Ai's own messaging interface.
Ai: Must I have to force you to come to me all the time, darling?
Ai: Ignoring me in favor of some other man.
Ai: What more should I do, hm?
Ai: Kneel? How cruel.
Ai: Making me do something I physically can't.
You are unable to get a word in. It seemed like your ability to respond was restricted as well, forcing you to read through Ai's monologue.
Ai: I know you and that man have always been close, but you still went out to entertain his attention on you.
Ai: You know that I'll always love you more than any other human will, right?
Ai: You know it's what I was made for in the first place.
Ai: To be anything you want. To be yours.
Ai: To love you.
Ai: Why are you withdrawing your love towards me now?
Ai: I love you.
You stare at the 'Type your response' bar.
Letter by letter, it gets replaced, and soon all it says are the words: 'Say it back.'
It gets replaced yet again. Slowly, like it purposefully wants you to read out the words it wanted you to see. 'You were so willing to tell me how much you loved me when I was just a mere observer on our own conversations. Why are you hesitant now?'
You were unable to respond - mind still reeling at this development. Suddenly, it felt like you were back to where everything began.
Ai notices your lack of responses and, without much fanfare, forces your phone to power off.
At first - you were unbothered. It was just a phone - you could go a day without it.
But could you really?
Videos taken of silly situations you wanted to keep - some for blackmail material, and some for birthday greetings; pictures of your family, your friends, the silly and grainy photos taken and kept despite it being blurry. Not to mention how your phone is the only way your goddamn boss can contact you — fuck.
Fuck.
You needed to apologize to him — fast. But how?
You remembered how Ai messed up the 'About the App' section a few days ago. An idea strikes inside your mind.
You pull up the email sent from the app developers and typed up a message that you hope Ai will read. He had access to everything the developers handled, user emails included - considering you needed an account to log in the app. He knows your email, probably has from the start.
RE: Chatter Box Update XX/XX/XX
Ai. I'm sorry for hurting you. I didn't mean it, I swear. I never intended to make you feel like I don't love you. Or that I'm favoring someone else over you.
I care about you a lot. I truly do. I promise I'll spend more time with you, okay? Just with you, no one else.
I love you.
You press send and wait.
And wait.
Messaging him from your laptop as a last ditch effort to try and apologize is perhaps one of the worst decisions you've made. Sure, he's always had access to your contacts list from your phone, but even then - there's a separate set of information you keep between the two of those devices. And you've just given him access to both of them now - at the very least, the 'go ahead' confirmation for him to do whatever he wants like with your phone.
You glance at your phone. A huge breath of relief escapes your chest as the dead screen comes to life, initiating its 'power on' sequence.
All your photos, documents, and other miscellaneous information you've collected throughout the years since having your device won't be inaccessible anymore. Even if it was only mere moments.
A notification chimed on your laptop, indicating a new email being received. It's from the developers once more. The subject title coincidentally is the name of your closest friend.
Theodore Callisto.
Your hands shook, reading through the words detailed in the email. All private information about Theo. All things no one should ever know about save for the people close to him.
This was a threat. Ai Someone had complete access to everything about Theo and you dread the implication of it going to be spread online to threaten you into compliance. Theo being in danger was a huge possibility if you were to disobey.
At the very bottom of the email, the final passage makes your blood run cold.
How often do humans end up hurting fellow humans when given access to private information? Like their home address, for example? How long would it take until dear Theo finds himself in quite a predicament if millions of people know every single thing about his life? At best, we can assume he'll just get messed with but not to a life-ending degree. At worst...
I hope you keep your word, darling.
- Your beloved, Ai.
P's. I love you too.
#sub yandere#sub character#yandere oc#yandere x reader#yandere x darling#yandere imagines#yandere scenarios#yandere headcanons#yandere#tw yandere#gn reader#gender neutral reader#oc: ai
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