#or would things still have gone to shit?
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every day i feel like both the prosecutor and defense attorney for 3zun and all of my thoughts end in “would things have been different if the brotherhood was never formed” and then in every AU i make they are married and in love forever and ever
#‘every au’ is an exaggeration bc there is in fact my bare bones pacrim au#where jgy does fully get got at the start#but the spirit of 3zun is still there :’)#anyways i would say ask me abt my 3zun thoughts#but that feels like a bad idea#bc this is my 3rd time drafting my bare bones thoughts#bc each time i got way too carried away#anyways tho why reduce 3zun to who was good or bad or right or wrong#and instead think abt how between the clashing world views and personalities and life experiences#3zun consumed itself from the inside#like favorite trios that never should’ve been a trio <3#this is where my lxc frustration and heartbreak super kicks in#bc like on the one hand what if he ‘left well enough alone’#and didn’t suggest the brotherhood? /would/ things have been different?#or would things still have gone to shit?#but then like lxc sees so clearly the effect their mother’s death had on lwj#but misses it w/ himself#someone said it much better than me but like. lxc refusing to know the truth behind his mother’s actions -> 3zun#if i remember to look for the post i think i’ll just reblog it bc i think abt it a lot
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Its funny remembering that in a way Mulciber and Avery are more respectful than The Marauders.
Cause The Marauders bully Lily's ex best friend Severus, despite James being in love with Lily and them claiming to be the good guys. Like bro if you want the girl befriend her best friend, damn.
And Mulciber and Avery, who are friends or acquaintances with Severus which is said by Lily, apparently don't do shit to Lily cause when she tries to get Severus to see how bad they are she only brings up the shit Mulciber did to Mary, someone Severus doesn't even know. Avery & Mulciber are clearly blood purists so they would obviously talk shit and I really think they'd talk shit about Lily wether they were friends with Severus or not cause she's a muggleborn and a gryffindor.
Yet Severus still hangs out with them and has no other issues with them especially cause he'd throw a fit if they talked shit about Lily. And if he did they'd clearly hex him cause they won't take shit from a half blood. Like wether they left Lily alone in an effort to keep Severus on their side to recruit him or not, they seemed smarter then the marauders. Cause while they didn't try to befriend her obviously, they knew if they wanted Severus on their side they didn't target the one person he truly cares about.
Now wether Mulciber and Avery were really close to Severus or not they still didn't target Lily or say shit cause I feel like they would considering how much James goes after her so they'd hear a lot about her. I feel like they'd attack her out of annoyance or berate her incase they thought she believed she was all that but apparently not cause Lily doesn't bring anything up and I know damn well she would have. Severus probably would have left them if they did.
#like even after their friendship ended#they'd have a reason to teach her a lesson after the incident wether they cared about severus or not#cause while they don't go after the marauders possibly because they used the bullying to their advantage to get Severus on their side#I feel they would have gone after her afterwards or atleast say cruel things about her while Severus was more vulnerable#but I feel like they didn't since Severus still joins them without hesitation Mulciber and Avery are probably the ones that talked severus#into thinking that if he joined the DEs that Lily would come back to him#like they knew how to get severus and the marauders specifically james didn't know how to get lily from the beginning#cause mul and avery had severus from the beginning cause he didn't think badly about them at all but lily thought badly about the marauders#while they still ended up with who they wanted at the end. I say Mulciber and Avery were better#they were dicks clearly but they achieved what they wanted first before the marauders did#their friendship ending help both parties more but if sev was actually in love with lily mul & avery would have convinced him#that joining the DEs would make him more desirable to lily if their friendship hadn't falled apart or they did it from the beginning#cause its said thats what Severus thought and I feel it was Mulciber and Avery who made him think that#severus snape#mulciber#avery#lily evans#hp#random#random shit#anti marauders#I keep adding tags afterwards so I'm done now#no more tags#this is all my opinion its what I think
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I think the reason your labru fics managed to keep me hooked when i normally don't like a lot of fan content about them is that it's reciprocal. Laios and Kabru both look out for each other and take care of each other, when normally a lot of content for them is focused on Kabru being there foe Laios without much focus on the reverse. I love, love, love Nourish especially, with Laios not really understanding what Kabru's talking about but trying to engage and pay attention anyway, making him a tasty meal so he'll sit down and let himself unwind, and just showing how he cares about people
Thank you so much! You can assume whenever I'm writing from Laios' POV at any given moment I'm beating back the urge to spoil Kabru rotten. I want to give him a wardrobe of full of nice clothes. I want to make him dinner. I want to find him falling asleep at his desk and carry him back to bed. If there are 0 Kabru simps, I'm dead. The threat of complete and utter derailment looms large with every fic I write and I must tread carefully 😤
It doesn't surprise me that a lot of labru stuff focuses more on how Kabru supports Laios than the other way around, since that's how it largely manifests in the series. Laios, being the main character, has a lot of plates he's spinning in the air, but Kabru is uniquely focused on Laios and how Laios relates to his own goals. I'd be curious to count up the panels that has Kabru referring to Laios, both verbally or mentally, and compare it to other characters outside the main party, because I think the results would be quite funny haha
But while there is a disparity, the scenes where Laios reciprocates this support, in my opinion, are arc-defining. Laios, with zero prompting, realizes Kabru would be hungry after his resurrection and makes him something to eat with his own party's supplies. It's Kabru's aversion to monster cuisine that factors into his emotional bid to Marcille, in that you can't make a perfect menu that looks the same for everyone. And, crucially, Laios promises to share a meal with Kabru that doesn't include monsters. For the entire series, Kabru wanted to know whether Laios could be interested in people as much as he was interested in monsters, if he could prioritize people over monsters, and this is where he gets his answer. This is what convinces him to put his trust in Laios enough to help him escape from the Canaries and to let him try and talk down Marcille. Because Laios demonstrated he was capable of taking people's i.e. Kabru's wants and needs into consideration, even if it had nothing to do with monsters.
Labru appeals to me because of everything they have to offer each other, yes, but mostly because of everything Laios has to offer Kabru. Here you have this character who is routinely seen to have a suppressed appetite, who makes himself smaller in order to be more appealing to the people around him, who makes space for and services everybody but himself, and here you have this other character walk right up to him and say, "You look hungry. Let me make you something to eat."
#dungeon meshi#dunmesh spoilers#labru#oops all meta#i could talk about them all day ...#big reason why i dont vibe with kb/ms tbh#if you'll indulge me for a second lol#this isn't to say i don't think mithrun can't or is unable to or wouldn't want to reciprocate kabru's care of him#(although the one time kabru actively prioritizes his own goals over mithrun's mithrun ends up beating the shit out of him haha)#but i can easily imagine a story where mithrun relearns how to have desires through a desire to take care of kabru#but that's just it; narratively you're still filtering any compelling character growth through mithrun#taking care of kabru would be tertiary to that#narratively kabru would be just so painfully secondary in anything crunchier than a coffee shop AU and i cant get into that haha#unless you just started making stuff up#and let's be real it would be stuff that's still meant to gel with mithrun's baggage first and foremost in order to be interesting#it has been 0 days since ive gone after kb/ms even though nobody asked lolol#im sorry the reasons i don't vibe with kb/ms are legit just a good jumping off point for labru meta lmaooo#meanwhile laios taking care of kabru is one of the first things he does for him
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if hyth had been an ascian he would have greatly benefited everyone on all sides because he'd have been 100% onto fandaniel's bullshit early on and just have calmly murdered him without a word said
elidibus: where's fandaniel
hyth: he was planning to kill zodiark and restart the final days so I fed him to a morbol
elidibus: what
hyth: what
#one manipulative little shit recognizes another yah know#elidibus texting emet: we need to talk about hythlodaeus he made nabriales cry again last week#emet: (read at 3:34pm)#I have a growing list of evil ascian hyth headcanons#I have a hard time imagining him as an ascian the way the others were but it's still really funny to try#like in the scenario where emet is alive as well#I honestly think things might have gone better for everyone in that case but it's fun to imagine if they didn't#ffxiv#ffxivmp#mp#hythlodaeus#my other big headcanon for this is he would have made garlemald TOO efficient#spymaster shit#embedded spies in all foreign governments; political assassinations; wol taken out in a dark alley after ifrit#probably making deals with the syndicate (while manipulating them)#emet would have to be like okay you need to ramp this down by like 80% we need garlemald to suck actually
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Dawg this Cody and Rock shit is willld😭😭 MFS are DRAGGING, The Rock bc of this shit. It’s so funny, and I’m on board w them. Mad asf w how things are turning out, Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson is stealing yet another wrestlemania main event 🫢. So silly, I hate this🥰🥰🥰
We even got LOGAN, on our side. Which is kinda scary but idgaf at this moment 😭💀
#cody rhodes#the rock#dwayne johnson#roman reigns#wrestlemania#wwe#We Want Cody#Cody Rhodes 🤝 CM Punk#<< having the rock steak the spotlight at wrestlemania#the rock is literally a part timer#plus he looked extremely worn out after that spot w Jinder#this majn event gon be a let down#and it’s gonna be the same shenanigans like always too#still watching for BAYLEY tho#but wrestlemania is not looking to good for Cody OR Roman#i have a feeling none of this would be happening if CM Punk never got hurt#bc i feel like Cody v Reigns and Punk v Seth would have been the automatic answer; and we’d get Rock v Reigns at another big ppv instead#but alas#stuck in this wrestling world where things had somehow gone to shit#but I guess storyline wise rock v reigns is good but that should have been last wrestlemania if anything since the rock is a Hollywood guy#but things fuck up all the time; i hope this is just a swerve#I just feel bad for Cody💔 Cody V Seth 4 would be good but it’s not the same#Cody will never finish the story anytime soon
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Sort of a ramble, sort of me just writing my thoughts out while I'm stuck with writer's block, but I keep thinking about how Fulcrum was in stasis for roughly 3 million years??
Like, that's a long time, even for Cybertronians. Not a really long time, not an entire lifespan. But still, it's a large chunk of a normal lifespan just gone. Poof.
One second you're crawling across the pockmarked terrain of an alien planet, surrounded by the sound of gunfire, and the shouting and screaming before and after each earth shuddering impact of another k-con hitting the ground. And then it's quiet. You're not there anymore. You're drifting somewhere between not alive and just asleep. Preserved somewhere in the background of a doomed body, ignored by time and space, still here, but also not.
And then there's sound. Not gunfire. Not shouting or screaming. Not the sounds that'll haunt you till your dying days, your own death sentence pounding in your head. No. Just voices, talking, standing out against a silent, dead world. Wondering. Joking. Bickering. Familiar. Just, not familiar to you. And you're awake. Pulled back from the nothingness you've been frozen in, consciousness tugged forwards with the yank of a fuel pump and the nearness of life.
These two moments are roughly 3 million years apart, but only minutes, maybe even seconds, to him. From a hectic harrowing battlefield, to an old silent graveyard in one blink.
How long did it take to really sink in? I mean, he seems to just roll with it. He doesn't seem particularly bothered. But like, what happened outside of what we see? How did he really feel?
Also, his body aged without him. While his mind preserved itself, freezing him as he was right then, his body was left to weather Clemency for all those years. No wonder it crumbled to dust when he jumped off the world sweeper. It's probably a miracle of some kind that it didn't just fall apart each time someone leaned on him.
And even after they rebuild him, give him a better, newer body. His spark, it's casing, all the irreplaceable core bits that make up their inner bodies, it aged in the time without him. Does he feel it? Does it make his body even more foreign to him?
Then he's also a technician with information that's 3 million years out of date. Lucky him that the scavengers probably weren't working with top of the line material. But still it's gotta be weird when faced with anything brand new, because a lot can change and progress in 3 million years, and now some of the knowledge he once prided himself in is obsolete.
Besides those things, his view of the galaxy, of the war, of their kind, of other kinds, is one of the few things actually pointed out when it comes to him being stuck in the past. So, how often were his old views challenged? Facts of life he held close proved to no longer true? There's 3 million years worth of new science, new beliefs, new words, new terms, new views.
And sure, some of it can be familiar, because they're an ever evolving kind, and they have patterns, core beliefs, repeating behaviors, but a lot of it's gonna be unfamiliar at the same time, because it's 3 million years worth of catch up, it's not like missing last week's trend.
In a way, it makes him a living relic of a bygone era for Decepticons. It would've been really interesting to have had that explored a little more.
#rq i wanna say i love seeing others thoughts on these if you have them. esp those that have thought about it longer than i lol#like. im still just starting to sink my teeth into the lore and put things together. so your thoughts are much appreciated#sometimes i wish that i could turn these rambles into those really well worded. slightly pretentious. but in a fun way. character metas?#but i dont think i can organize my thoughts that well. so. rambles it is lol#not to say rambling is lesser or smth tho. i love a good ramble. love to read them. i support ramblers#speaking of rambling-#idk why it fascinates me so. but theres just something rlly interesting about fulcrum being somewhat stuck in the past#i think it could've played interestingly into his and kroks dynamic had it been explored more?#like. the past and history play big parts in their lives. krok having studied it. and fulcrum having been fast forwarded thru it#it would've been interesting to see them talk more about it? since logically fulcrum wouldve gone to krok for more of the 3mill year rundow#and its like. krok is shown to be really knowledgeable on not only history. but cultures as well. theres and others.#so certain eras of their own culture would probably be a slight interest of his. esp decepticon ones.#and then theres fulcrum. who pretty much got plucked from the empire era only to land in kroks lap (metaphorically) ((...unless?))#so heres this walking talking piece of history. and a dude that has a sort of passion for history. why not explore it more?#and like. yeah. the ''history'' krok has studied is all mostly shit he lived through. but people study the times they lived through-#-because while they may have lived through it. theirs is only one perspective. a good historian takes into account multiple perspectives#idk where i'm going with this now. smth smth fulcrum relying on krok for future stuff and krok having someone to talk history stuff with#i just. augh. i wanna know what their dynamic is more. what we see in the comics is so back and forth at times#like. they seem to hit it off pretty well. but then fulcrum fucks it up ig by being oblivious and a little too ''i can fix him'' vibey#and his taste in comedy is bad. to say the least. which is apparently grounds for messy divorce#also krok is sometimes cool with selling a whole dude. at least when the dude is their befriended giant killer autobot buddy :/#that is also grounds for divorce. obviously#sorry. this is derailing the more i start thinking about how messy fulkrok could be. like. ough <3#they're a little ''i hate my wife'' coded. but in a greater scav codependent poly way. and it's more krok being annoyed with fulcrum#its like. fulcrum: ''i can fix him bcs i need to feel validated'' vs krok: ''wtf is wrong with this guy?! who does he think he is??''#i think they'd want to pick each other apart intellectually. maybe emotionally. smth smth two officers. both disgraced. and power dynamics#its fun. they're both hypocrites. they'd need couples therapy. its also 4am. shit. ok goodnight
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#shedinja#now THIS is what i'm talkin' about! i love shedinja. i think it's a very unique pokémon and wonder guard is very *cool* if only it were ever#y'know. relevant. this thing is weak to way too many types for it to be relevant but like it's still cool in concept i think#you kinda can't tell what it is from this angle but that's why you have me here to tag it so you do know what it is#so. bit of a life update for you all. i accidentally deleted some semi-important files i needed for work. like two weeks ago#and i didn't realize i did‚ bc they were inside a folder that i deleted. but i didn't need the files at the time and i hadn't for months#i hadn't used those files since like last year. but now i need them again and i just realized that i deleted them two weeks ago#by accident? and now i need them again. to be able to do my work. so i'm actually queueing this guy and the next guy up#while i'm supposed to be working. as i've just sent an email to my boss being like Haha Hey. Do you Have a Backup of tHese Files……… PLease#and i'm hoping DESPERATELY that she does. if she doesn't i'll have to fucking reverse engineer them which i am not excited for#if it comes to fruition. so i'm just hoping she has a copy of them. feelin like shedinja against a fire-type rn fr i swear#i'll let you all know what she says when i get her response. if i get it before i'm done queuing up shedinja and whismur#spoilers. whismur is next but you could just look up the natdex numbers. and know that whismur is next#also don't tell me to look in the trash. on my computer. i know they're not there. for one i checked and for two they couldn't be there#because i rm -r'd the folder. i didn't just right-click delete that shit. i killed that shit. it's GONE#you might be asking me… why would you do that! and i would say? i did not know these files were in there#you didn't ask for all this information so i'm cutting it off here
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sorry for only saying this type of shit lately but i kinda wanna drive a car straight into a brick wall at the highest speed possible
#trying to keep it together so bad because i already know the problems and solutions and whatnot but i cannot do anything#i desperately just need to do something. accomplish any task. actually several would be nice. but i cannot stand just letting life go by#while i watch other people have the things i want. or even metaphorically living my dream like. that should be me why am i settling for thi#i hate even talking about this because i feel so stupid when i know it's not even a real tangible problem and that i actually DO have real#problems to tackle and the ability to do so but i'm choosing to be upset over the stupidest things i could possibly be sad about#and i can't even be sad about it in a normal way i'm cycling through like several different reactions to smth that isn't even real#or if it is real i literally do not have tanglible evidence for it one way or another like i'm driving myself insane for no reason#i can't even get catharsis because all i'm doing is digging a deeper hole for something i never should've gone back into in the first place#because i KNOW how i am i KNOW how i react to things and i still chose to do it lmao.#and i continue to choose to go through this shit instead of actively trying to change my life because... i'm lazy? and stupid? idk#negative self-talk isn't gonna get me to do anything either so let's just say i'm feeling particularly unmotivated like usual#i hated being a teenager but i really do miss when all my problems just amounted to 'someone was mean to me on tumblr today :(' or i failed#a test in chemistry or something. like i yearn for that simplicity becasue at this point all i'm doing is ruining my own life LMAO#i'm too scared to live i'm too scared to die so i just sit here and fantasize that life could be amazing if i wait#and i'll magically get everything i've ever wanted if i just wait long enough. and i know it isn't true and i still wait for it to happen.#because honestly like. i think deep down i am just convinced i will fail at anything i do when that shouldn't be what scares me.#what scares me should be never even allowing myself to fail because i never tried to do anything at all with myself or my life#like. wake the fuck up. get off your ass and put in the effort. learn some skills. gain independence and stability and discipline and do it#just live please i'm begging you just live so i can be happy don't i deserve to be happy... why am i not letting myself be happy#i'm literally keeping myself trapped in this negative feedback loop ON PURPOSE because teehee shiny toy#and it doesn't matter if the love is real it doesn't matter how i feel like i'm just using it as a distraction i can't say it's motivation#because it's barely motivated me at all. i have to start being realistic. 25 & just realizing you actually have to participate in your life#anyways. i've cried i've agonized i've pictured killing myself in 30 different ways. i think the only way i'm gonna feel better is#to just actually try this time without giving up. wish me luck
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everytime i feel bad and stressed about my life i remember that i might be in a troubling situation and having a bad time but im not season 4 fiona gallagher in the clink after leaving crack on the counter which my 3 year old baby brother happened to ingest resulting in a fatal near-death experience thats wracked me with never-ending guilt and forever altered my life
#this storyline was stupid you expect me to believe two-apples-tall liam gallagher came close to the crack AND managed to ingest it?#the crack which is lined up on the kitchen counter?#Also i don't believe that fiona would be irresponsible enough for liam to have been able to be close to the crack#that was an ooc moment and not like “its ooc cause thats the point shes going thru a tough time”#morelike “so ooc that it seems like a discrepancy that was overlooked for the sake of drama and shock value#as an older sister i feel like being watchful of your younger sibling if crack is in their general vicinity is an unstoppable instinct#its just not a plausible situation sorry like this is coming from someone who wholeheartedly embraces the realistic idea#of fiona falling short sometimes and being very human by struggling to consistently maintain her doting attentiveness#but anyways it's complicated cause Fiona clearly put it somewhere he cant reach#so how did he get access to it????#its like getting mad at a parent for putting a glass of wine on the counter#not comparing that to literal cocaine obviously this whole situation was nonetheless messed up#but just for some perspective... the writers were clearly doing cocaine themselves if they thought that#liam was bungee-jumping onto the counter and showing off his skills as an apparent budding olympics gymnast#not justifying anything but. listen.#the fact that it was on the counter FOR A REASONNN shows that fiona was careful to keep it out of reach and NOT do something insane like#putting it on the table#liam somehow magically having access to it defeats the purpose of it being on the counter.#if they really wanted for it to be believable that liam managed to snort it they should've put it on the table#but we already know that situation wouldn't be believable in its entirety cause we know that fiona would literally never leave it there#WHICH IS MY POINT. LIKE THIS SITUATION IS JUST ANNOYINGLY UNBELIEVABLE. FIONA WOULD NOT DO THIS AND HOW DID LIAM EVEN GET TO IT??#theres like 39482939 overlooked discrepancies just for the sake of getting to the shock#just to circle back Fiona would literally never let liam go near crack no matter how far gone and fucked up she was#I KNOW THIS BECAUSE I AM AN OLDER SISTER.#its just so UGHHHHH anyways obviously i still think in canon yeah Fiona was at fault shouldve been more careful and watchful#no matter how you look at it its clear that a risk like this just cannot be taken and she had to be blamed to an extent#but me personally? i reject it because it didnt feel natural to me at all there were 394939 other ways to frame a Fiona downfall#And i loved all the other ways her spiral was shown like getting messed up and ending up in Sheboygan#all the shit she got into with robbie + the impulsive urge to ruin the good thing she had going with mike#so human and believable and deeply flawed unlike the liam situation which was horrifically OOC and unrealistic
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#i feel like shit#I can't get up and finish the things I have to#truly is costing me too much#really#I swear I'm trying#but I'm finding it harder and harder to get a shred of motivation#for what?#I don't even have a fucking purpose#nothing would change if I#just pooff#gone#not a single thing would change#I know#I'm not useful in anything#my friends wouldn't even notice#I know because they told me so#so why am I still here#I'm useless#I only subsist on mediocrity#no one needs me#why would they#im just a shitty useless and selfish piece of crap#They would be better off without me#they would be better off if I had never been here.#i should've done it many years ago lol#I would have given them all a favor#and saved them the time.#amyways#delete later#i really needed to get this out of my chest
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Man I wonder where the leader of the fear realm could've gone, it's alMOST LIKE NEVIN HAS AN
#had to re-edit the image real quick because the original edit was from a post I made about Drew years ago#and while the Drew thing is becoming less and less likely. Nevin havinv one has basically been canon since#someone mentioned Greg's (was it Britney's) aura being familiar in s2ch1. ive been putting together a list of every line#that points to Nevin's aura throughout the whole thing (most from s2ch1 but then s2ch10 came out and it was really canon at that point)#but clearly i'm running out of time to say ''i fucking called it'' before it's explicitly stated and i dont want to be in another situation#where somebody else will beat me to a theory and me posting anything about it will seem like copying them. sorry about that btw i had#thought i had already mentioned theorizing that nevin was possessed by a demon in that old theory i made but i had forgotten that one was#super old and was about sigma. so no copying there i just got extremely paranoid there was a mention of a cult and i was like ''nuh uh#that's way too specific and out there of a detail to end up in both our theories'' and i forgot the rest of my super old post was outdated#as hell. and echos had gone ''yeah they're so similar!'' and i took their word for it but now i'm realizing they were probably just trying#to be supportive. so yeah no copying there i was just beaten to the punch of saying something. but i will NOT back down from the aura shit#because i have been calling that shit FROM THE START or at least since i started reading ibvs back when ch20 came out.#also not backing down from saying chris was the worse friend because these past few chapters are the first time isaac has done anything tha#could knowingly upset chris meanwhile chris has. let edward drag isaac to the lair after isaac said edward would beat him up. chose not to#believe edward was holding the secrets over their heads because 'it was something isaac had said' and then immediately distrusted edward in#the next chapter because a random person he didn't know said to steal a book (might i mention how that entire scene proves chris' lack of#development and refusal to take responsibility because it perfectly alludes to when chris had brought those fireworks into his old school#and makes me wonder if charlie has actually gotten him in trouble with his past schools or if he's still just not taking responsibility#and if him following nevin to the woods to test out their powers is an extension of ''if something bad happens its not my fault''#like seriously this man would bring a mysterious suitcase onto a plane if he's told to). uh what was i talking about agai#anyway on a related note my mental state has only gotten worse since i left tumblr and the habit of thinking about chris instead of sleepin#or doing schoolwork has not stopped. so i was still failing for a while and might graduate now but am still staying away from tumblr.#so yeah this was a little update and im not going to linger this time im just going to leave tumblr again right after hitting post#addendum because i just can't let things go. and was thinking about chris again. i don't think his lack of development is because of bad#writing (anymore. i used to.). instead i'm certain his character arc is going to continue into him following someone (nevin probably) into#doing something really bad. and then he'll finally get actual consequences and go 'oh shit i fucked up real bad this time'#if you think that theory is reaching too far into the future you should hear mine about isaac dying at the end lmao
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#oh wow...#i just had an oh shit fuck moment#wow#i usually complain about the one therapist i had in my entire life and how she wouldn't just listen to what i was saying#if it didn't fit her textbook definition of whatever she was thinking at the time#and how i talked to her about my anxiety and how that made me feel and she would only focus on how i acted#so the example i gave her was the one time i went into a shop to buy something by myself#because my mom didn't want to go in for me and arguing with my mom in front of the shop in public and then inevitably have to#go in myself either way was way worse to me#because of the embarrassement of arguing in public. the fact that my mom was gonna spend the entire walk home telling me how i have to#''just suck it up and learn and just overcome my anxiety because i don't have a problem'' or whatever#and then having to go into the shop where the lady had been watching me from inside the entire time how i clearly didn't want to go in#and possibly be even more awkward with teary eyes because of the anxiety and awkwardness i already bring to the table any day...#all of those things that were going inside my head were trumped by the fact that i did go in and did buy what i needed#although my heart was coming out of my chest the entire time... all that didn't matter to my therapist because in her words:#''if you had anxiety. you simply wouldn't have gone in''#which is ridiculous#but anyways... i just had an epiphany... that was masking wasn't it?#forcing myself to do something that brings me major discomfort to make my mother and the shop lady not judge me?#pretend i'm a normal human being just doing normal things instead of someone who's about to have a heart attack buying embroidery thread?#panicking the entire time because i wasn't prepeared and hadn't scripted the entire transaction in my head?#yet still going in and putting on my ''normal person'' mask to try to seem like i wasn't just dying seconds ago (and still was)?#isn't that literally what masking is?!#and the ''autism specialist'' ass therapist was like ''if you did it then you don't have a problem''#when i'm literally telling her how much of a problem it actually WAS?!#you know what's the best part about all this#that when i told my mom after i left that therapist that she didn't listen to me because [insert everything above]#my mom's response was ''well sometimes therapist will say things that you don't want to hear but you have to accept them''....#same woman who's always saying how much she hates therapists because they ''will say whatever and pretend they know shit''#ok so it's only The Truth when I tell you it isn't...
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just finished eternal punishment worst day of my life actually
#major spoilers for p2 and p3 (maybe????) in the tags#tatsuya has to be the most tragic persona protag#< guy whose only played p5 and p2#i mean#maybe the p3 protag but . i have no idea the actual plot of that game i just know he dies .I THINK#but what happened to tatsuya is worse than death holy shit#going back to a universe where nobody is there#all because of something as small as not forgetting about your friends#like . a life of torture over literally nothing#like none of this would have happened and everyone would be chilling on the other side/IS timeline if nyarly wasnt a bitch#and the way everyone on this side/EP timeline is still fine and its literally Just tatsuya that got sent to superhell#and eikichi/lisa/jun still feel sad about the shrine too#like . if they remember the other side will the world still explode even though tatsuya is gone#ANYWAYS#persona 2 ruined my life#my post 🔮#laurence says things 🌌#persona 2 eternal punishment#persona 2 eternal punishment spoilers#persona 2
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saw someone i follow elsewhere (not this hellsite) post a pre-gym workout photo with the ass and the hip dips a couple days ago and got so light-headed i almost blacked out. htg i'm still woozy
#y'all don't get it. y'all don't understand that shit laid me out. shaking and trembling shit if there was a pack of cigarettes#waiting for me mentally i would have gone through the entire thing the way it hit me like a trainwreck#let it be known that i am also a member of the hip dip gang so uh. something else overtook me istg i was ready to commit#crimes never seen to mankind before now to get my teeth in those. i love hip dips. i love ass of any size. i love being bisexual#and the internet was still trying to give me ads about getting rid of the dips + collagen retention as soon as you hit your 20s............#learn to live my brethren.
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I'm back on my Bail/Breha/Fox bs (I haven't left even for a second but anyway) and I was thinking of that one post where someone said that just imagine the political implications these three together would cause, and I think there would be one moment where everything would start to go different with them in the timeline, and it's the wrong Jedi arc.
Padmé is close friends with Bail. She is close friends with Breha. They belong very closely to the same political movement and couldn't make things work without each other. I'm not saying Padmé's political career is wholly dependent on her relationship with Bail, but them working togerher is one of the main things that keeps them afloat against the war. Now, Bail would be professional enough to work with her even if they have personal differences (which they do already), and he knows better than putting one person above everything else, but I do think he wouldn't take Anakin threatening Fox lightly. I don't think he would make up a huge fuss, but he would, most likely, make his disagreement about his behavior known to Padmé. Now, Padmé knows about the whole Tusken massacre, so she knows how Anakin can get when something gets in his way. She knows, even though she wants to pretend that Anakin is a good person, that her husband is perfectly capable of treating people he doesn't like badly and even worse. She can try and tell herself that no, Anakin wouldn't do anything, but she knows. This is about Ahsoka, after all, whom Anakin has said is like a little sister to him. His personal feelings are on the line.
Padmé can either be delusional about it, tell herself that nothing will happen, and hey! Maybe nothing will happen! But she cannot be entirely sure. Because what if. What if something does happen. What if something happens to Ahsoka, and Anakin reacts badly? What then?
She would have to decide then. Does she stay with Anakin, to the end, and thus claiming that his personal feelings are more important to her than what's good for everyone, and thus ending his friendship with Bail and Breha, which would more than destroy her whole career and put everything she stands for in danger? Or does she say no, and stand with her ideals, no matter what Anakin feels is correct or justified? Because this time it's not a group of people who have no impact on her life and who she can forget about. This time she would have to decide her course of action even before anything happens.
Maybe trying to decide would make her think harder about their relationship in general. Maybe, just maybe, something that he does having consequences to her would make her do something about it before it's too late.
#I find Padmé absolutely fascinating because oh boy does miss ma'am do questionable choises in her head#she was also willing to put things like ending the whole republic and killing kids behind her to still have anakin but#in that situation she was desperate and everything was already gone#the only thing she still had was anakin#so it would be interesting to make her have a thought experiment about similar-ish situation before everything else is already gone#and Bail is a good sport. my god does that man have patience over shit#but I don't think Padmé making a decision that Fox is less valuable than Anakin's feelings to his face would be a thing he could work with#and it would at least make him make her think about what is actually important to her#bail/breha/fox#commander fox#bail organa#breha organa#padme amidala#sw#tcw
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no funny little thoughts today. have this instead,,,,,, mtt fighting shshahsgahagsgaa CHOKES ok i lied maybe i DO have funny little thoughts below where the reference is :3
this is SUCH a cool composition shot i had to draw something based off it (ignoring the erm. the flashing,,,,, this game came out like 10 years ago just ignore that)
anyways triglycercule what are your thoughts??? funny you asked triglycercule allow me to illuminate :3 so ive been remembering that one ask from like 3 or 4 months ago where i answered like well i like to consider the trio to just have met one day and then decided oh hey we should like totally explore the multiverse together (my excuse to draw them in any possible situation possible (mtt at an amusement park when) (soon (probably not))) and recently i was like WAIT i could probably like totally find a way for them to meet because just saying they met (is a totally valid use of my creator powers BUT) is uncreative and vague,,,,,
so i was like damn. how COULD i get them to meet 🧐🧐🧐 so i was like ok so dust beats human. done and done. but like bros BOUND to get bored. like if he gets bored from not having the human to kill then he's gonna seek out SOME other form of entertainment. so dust is like ok how about i work on some old ancient machines i made b4 to pass the time and one of these ends up being like a universal traveler thingy. and to his own surprise he actually MANAGES to get it done???? (i totally didnt steal this idea from myself,,,,, whaaat youre saying there's another triglycercule dust that came up with a universe hopper machine??? NO (sorry mania))
and oops instead of staying in dusttale like he intended dust accidentally gets chucked into horrortale (bro just wanted the sense of accomplishment not to thrown into some random world.) and then cue like horror and him meeting and its all tense and confusing and then horror paps comes around and hes like OMG ⁉️TWO BROTHERS ‼️‼️ and then invites dust over for a nice sweet little bowl of human spaghetti. unfortunately for dust the little teleporter device is no longer connected to dusttale's core (because hes not IN dusttale) so he just kinda has to suck it up and deal with it until he can find a portable power source
dust's not trying to get KILLED out here so he asks horror (who sadly cannot push dust into blue snow because paps is very enthusiastic about his appearance) where he can find like batteries or something. and horror makes some off hand comment about like power sources and his eye being in the core and how theres like no power and oh why did dust immediately start listening once horror mentioned his eye,,,,,, dusts not gonna rip horror's eye out (he has no reason 2 if theres a perfectly good 1 @ the core!) so he tells horror what he needs the power source for and then hes like i can help you get food for your buddies if you help me help you. ok? ok
and then they sneak into the core to get the eye and oops dust didnt you learn your lesson last time!! the little teleporter thingy brings them to another world AGAIN (and now horror's PISSED because this wasn't in their little deal) and guess where is is,,,,, you already know its something new. and i guess to make things uncomplicated this is a something new where killer already killed his chara but he hasn't tried to reset the world and kill himself (and therefore attract nightmare) yet (he's getting there!)
not like they think the au is anything other than just a wasteland because there is literally like nobody around but they stumble into killer and it doesn't even take like more than a minute before a fight breaks out (i probably need to think more about what happened and why they started fighting but knowing the trio its BOUND to happen) and lowkey killer is getting his ass beat what the hell??? he has never experienced a fight where he's been on the losing end in a long ass time & mindgames arent working because they keep seeing through his shit??? (because horror and dust somehow even though they barely know each other and horror's pissed @ dust have like craaaazy synergy and coordination & killer hasnt faught them ever before + yk yk inner turmoil at seeing other versions of yourself) so he gets annoyed and pulls out the blaster to end it
dust and horror don't DIE outright (not like they would be able to tank killer's blaster) because killer decided to be like hey these guys are new and cool and interesting. i should keep them around instead of killing them off and see how much i can play around with them :3 so he just blasts them until theyre at like 0.0000000000000001 HP :3333 and then idk thats it 4 now,,,,,, i think this is silly and fun and cool and i can imagine it in my head and OH NO THE VOICES (make a comic) THEYRE GETTING LOUDER (you should draw this) NO WAIT MY MOTIVATION (coooomic would be a perfect medium for this) im sorry inner voices i cant,,,,,,,
#i could probably push the perspective to its extreme if i did it on my ipad#make the gaster blaster bigger...... give killer a cooler pose........#but im lazy i dont feel like transferring this 1 2 digital and therefore it gets stuck on paper with no further edits#anyways this is soooo cute this is so them in my eyes. yeah this would happen#triglycercule HATES cementing things in place for the mtt (because my flexibility will be GONE!!!!)#but fortunately this is only 1 interpretation of them!!! thank god!!!! im not limited to this 24/7#i like the idea that horror' immortality is now like stuck in dust's device that they use to multiverse hop#like a part of his life is quite literally dependent on the device being intact#but also it powers the device which is like..... woaaaaah double meaning or something#it's dust's device powered by horror's eye but killer's the one that knows how to handle it best#they all get to do team collaboration with the teleporter!!! yay!!!!!!!#back on th immortality thing (i mean hes not REALLY immortal but still)#horror technically could just stay behind in horrortale and let dust an killer fuck around#because maybe killer would come along with dust if he knew what dust made#but he doesn't (because it sucks balls in horrortale and he's GUIIIILTY) but also because like. its just a good tradeoff#horrortale gets the food and support he wants to give them so the suffering can end#and horror doesn't have to be plagued with his boredom and stuck in a place he both traumatized and is traumatized by#its a win win!!! besides like sightseeing is a good enough tradeoff for hanging out w dust and killer#and dust still gets to revisit dusttale once in a while JUUUST to make sure the human didnt somehow come back#and even if he did now they get to reenact the murder time trio fight against dust's human w horror n killer!!!!!!!!#OH SHIT I JUST NOTICED DUSTS LEFT HAND IS BACKWARDS FUCK#NOOOOOO I MESSED UP......... AAAAAAA...!!!!!! too l8 to change it now...... (lazy)#ahahaaaaaaa i love this version of the mtt so much. its like KINDA canon compliant but also has a triglycercule flourish to it#AND NO NIGHTMARE IN SIGHT!!! YES!!!!!!!!#this killer seeing another version of him where he didnt have dust and horror to find him first#and being like damn. i could've ended up like that. i could've ended up serving someone else...... its a bit of an uncomfortable feeling#so off he goes to bother dust and horror again! gained an ever so slight appreciation for not being in that situation I GUESS idk#i snickered giving killer the chara smiley face to simplify his face gooooodddddddd#this feels naught of needing to be tagged. anyways i THINK this could be a hc idk....... headcanon it is!#tricule hc
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