#or when the asexuality isnt even like... considered

[llitchilitchi]

calling out acephobia in fandoms and fanworks is so weirdly difficult because there's always Some Way to jargon your way out of it that would never fly with most other identities

[aromantic-diaries]

so, im both aro and ace (despite the amount of sex jokes and calling people hot, still asexual)

well, this is a long story, sorry in advance

so, im talking to this friend (A) here, he says something that is sooo aro-coded, and im like "this guy is probably aro-spec too and maybe he doesnt know so lets help a little" and i tell him to read loveles because 'the main character is very relatable', he ends up with him knowing about aro identities, he questioned his own sexuality before and he isnt aro, but with the 'very relatable' part i sold myself out as aro, and he wasnt arophobic (he literally said he almost used the label so) so it was okay

fast forward a year , we are talking, sexuality ends up as a topic, and i confess i didnt come up to anyone, the only people who knew were him and another friend who found out by accident (really supportive, even though im not sure that i was ready), he ask about this other friend of ours (B) and why i didnt come out to her, considering she is queer herself. i think im not ready to do that, both times i came out were not intentional and though it didnt end up badly still, not ready, also, my relationship with this friend is, well we mostly talk about gossip and all of her crushes, boyfriends, etc., basically it was purely sexual acts and romance, not my favourite topic of conversation but i we dont have anything in common outside shared memories (childhood besties) and school and we are both pretty unpopular so no more people) plus we never talk deep shit so i felt weird bring it up

few days later, the three of us were in class and talking about our teachers (and shipping them cause we are nosy), we get to his teacher and i say that i couldnt picture her with an special other and A says "like asexual, you mean", (it was more like aro but i didnt feel like explaining the difference plus i was panicking a little because i knew where this was going) and A countinues "B, what do you think of asexual people?", B says something in support, and then he asks me "[my name] do you know any asexual people in real life?" with a look on his face saying 'come out', i kinda evade the question so he asks B if she knew any, and B answers she had the theory that i was ace (i mean, she was right). i didnt know what to do so i made a joke "was it so obvious?"

i dont think i was ready to come out to her and i didnt want it to happen, but the conversation didnt end up bad, she was supportive but still i wasnt ready. i dont think it counts as getting outed because he just forced the conversation that way but didnt really say "[my name] is aroace", but i dont know of B hadnt mentioned her theory, would he had outed me?

i dont know how to feel, im basically venting, maybe do you have any advice for this situation?

I really don't think anyone should make you come out if you don't want to do it and it's supposed to be your choice so this sounds like something you should really talk about with friend A and explain to him that you didn't want to come out yet and that this wasn't okay. It is lucky that friend B was supportive though because this type of situation is even messier when the other person is not supportive. But even so it's still a gamble because most of the time you can't predict how someone will react and it's better to not take the risk of coming out to someone, let alone put someone else at risk. I hope you can talk this through with friend A

[quiddityg]

KLOKTOBER 2023

Day 4: favorite headcanon

I don't rlly have any super favorite headcannons? So I just kinda tossed some general headcannons I have for each character lawlz

More about each character cause some of the headcannons are rlly vague lawlz

Nathan:

Hes on the Aromantic spectrum, where although he wants a romantic relationship, hes never rlly comfortable in relationships. Hes heteromantic though, where any romantic feelings he may have are only for women, and he generally find women way more attractive than men, but he still has those moments where he finds a guy rlly sexually attractive (cough cough pickles)

Also hes so autism coded it's like not even funny. He probably has the worst sensory issues when he eats chips and gets all that residue on his fingers.

Pickles:

Transgender!!!! I like to think he got top surgery as soon as money started rolling in for the band, and he probably also got bottom surgery also so he can fuck groupies without having to worry about them outing him or smth. That or hes a classic strap on man, which would also be super real of him.

This man is totally bi, he doesnt rlly have any major preference, but just goes for women more often.

I also like to think hed got ADHD but thats also me projecting like a madman cause mwehehe

Toki:

I like to think he's pansexual but like, kinda doesnt rlly realize it? Like, he generally finds all sorts of people attractive, but doesnt elly act on anything, especially with other men cause he thinks it's too gay or something. All around he doesnt have a preference, and his attraction to people isnt bound by their gender.

I also like to think hes nonbinary, in the sense where he doesnt consider himself to be innately masculine or feminine at his core. That being said, hes like never heard of nonbinary people before, and hes comfortable enough as is, and knows who he is that he doesnt rlly care to put labels onto himself in that way. If he cared about pronouns, hed probably go by he/they/she

Hes also totally autistic, maybe audhd but idk

Skwisgaar:

I'm sorry, I cant see him as anything else but straight. I mean, I could see him fooling around with other guys, but I dont think he would have any real sexual attraction to them, it would just be for fun. (I know skwistok shippers are not happy with me about this but IM SORRY I JUST CANT SEE HIM DOIN THATT)

That being said, I also kinda see him falling under the aromantic spectrum, specifically where he may experience minor amounts of romantic attraction, but sees no real importance in either engaging in it, or being in a romantic relationship in general.

The dyslexia bit is kinda canon knowing how he has music dyslexia with sheet music, but I also like to think he struggles with reading in general. That being said, hes probably rlly good at counting knowing how amazing he is at guitar.

Murderface:

How I see him, hes a closeted bisexual, and I mean CLOSETED!! Hes probably entirely oblivious about everyone elses queer identities and sees his attraction to men as an aberration of sorts. I also like to think he may find men more attractive, but would never admit it as long as he lives.

Charles:

I fought demons here cause I legit see Charles as just, gay. BUT, after some thought I was like, erm, maybe he would take interest in some women?? So I just said he was bi with a major preference for men.

I also see Charles falling under the asexual spectrum, specifically where he does experience minimal sexual attraction, and isnt against having sex, but he doesnt see any importance it and is way too fucking busy. He has better things to do, basically.

[sillyandquiteawkward]

Do you think Father would be openly gay in the institute or be in the closet?

in the little fallout universe i like to play around in, i like to think that shauns always been a gay man, but as an adult has tamped down and ignored his feelings for focusing on science and working, maybe even viewing himself as better than his peers for not falling prey to childish desires. its the case anyway that in 60 years, shaun has no romantic partner, nor children. i think much later on, once he becomes director and starts having more power and access to knowledge, that his denial of his wants starts to falter now that he satisfies his need for control and superiority in other ways. this also compounds once he learns he has a terminal illness. now hes acting a bit irrationally to his own standards, and hes pleasure seeking, yolo and such. this includes in my little crackship universe, that he and bayley end up in the same vicinity as each other and eventually develop into a thing. openly they arent exactly "together" but on lookers could easily notice something is up between them.

i think when it comes to being open or in the closet, if you asked him his preference hed initially say hes asexual. in mostly a way that i think he genuinely wants to believe that he is that ("wouldnt that be so much easier if true, i could focus on more on scientific progress rather than feel the burden of ideas on relationships and sex"). if pressed further on the topic hed admit in his youth he was fond of boys, but would go on to dismiss the idea like "im not so childish now." like his biggest in the closet issue isnt being gay its about Wanting a relationship or sex or a lover. like to him Thats what hes ashamed about. i think theres a lot of intersection between denial of himself in particular with his relationship to his gayness tho, he just doesnt consider that as the main contender.

[harukirai]

Queer history of Final Fantasy

I am replaying all the old final fantasies(mostly psp psone releases), first time with english localization and not the original jp.

Now i get it.

It all make sense now.

I couldn't understand the wave of "why shove the gays in our face" backlash of 16(even though, the non homophobic felt it was lacking since they didn't want to 'push it in yall face'). Like apperantly moat of the implication or straight up fruity moments in the old game was completely removed, or changed to the point of it being a 'silly thing'.

So lets clarify -

*Cecil(iv), your homeboy- an Non-binary (language is the best indication, but yeah i think it was a decision made for both female and male players to be able to relate to them, but yeah funny outcome non the less)

*Bartz(v)- outright bisexual, they didnt even hide it- next person on this list gonna make it make sense.

*faris(v)- an ftm transgender( at least in the original version, i know in some new iterations they scrapped the whole concept, but left it in in others?)- mainly speak about himself with (ore/boku- which is conventionally usally by male speakers), after finding out soem of the cast either use a female pronounce on him, but bartz constantly either avoid it or use male pronounce(or the nonbinary version which is usually reffered to kidz) but yeah, bartz was crushing on faris where he thought he was a cis male and unlike the other guy didnt shy away.

Lets jump a bit to 8-

Irvine(viii)- even though considered very handsome to the point he could get with any girl hed want, was even flirted with by selphie i think i need to remember, but he usually brush it off.

If anything he is either asexual, or gay(its very subtle, but its what called queer coding, and well see that allot from now on cause japan caught up to westerns norm on media)

Quina Quen (ix)- literally, a nonbinary- but i think they kept it in eng as well cause they are not human, but like black mages they have no sex, but unlike black mages they are 'genderless' and dont care for human norms.

Kuja(ix)- either gay/intersex/both.

Look at him.

Seriously that character confused a whole generation sexuality.

Like sephiroth, but unlike sephiroth he also have effeminate mannerisms, and until it was revealed by text it wasnt so obvious.sephiroth in jp have a confusing language because he himself is possed by jenova, so evem though i love this headcanon, sephiroth isnt trans actually.

Auron(x)- ahh yes, your favourite broody guy and probably where im gonna get tons of hate.

Auron is very subtle, but once you notice it its hard to deny.

I think Auron is gay, unlike jecht or braska- he did not have kids, denied arranged marriage, and followed jecht to dream zanarken just to save jecht only son- it was pretty obvious that auron loved jecht. He also loved braska but not as much, and it shows- that for auron it was more than friendship. You can see it with his attitude towards yuna vs tidus- with yuna he is nicer, politer. Liem you act when you babysit your friends /cousins child.

But to tidus, he is a full father figure.In their journey together they grow, and i think if he wasnt the boy of the man he loved he wouldn't treat tidus as his own. With all the scoldinngs in mind.

Paine(X-2)- qlmost forgot her, but yeah she's pretty gay for riku

I dont remember much though because if the mission structure of the game.

Larsa(xii) - ohh i see you boy, i see u. He is sus as hell. He is a kid so its pretty innocent(and relatable to us queer kidz)

Its pretty obvios that he is crushing on basch, innocently though. I know some ppl who shipped him with penelo, but canonically by spinoffs at least she and vann are an item.

Also they made sure it was obvious cause japan have this thing that a young character is crushing on a teacher,mentor , older characters in general(aka cc sakura- her friend crushing on a teacher, syaoran & sakura crushing on yukito, also happens in tons of pop culture media at that time, so im not surprised, but im happy this time its one sided, THANK GOD)

But yeah if you reached the ending its pretty obvious.

Fang & vanille(xiii)- the first lesbians couple! Terra(VI) was supposed to be the first but they were afraid it will make her less marketable so they scrapped her gf. They made them clear, but at the same time they tried to make sure pple wont be fetishizing them(they tried, at least).

I want to explain their story more but i think ill mess it up since i tend to mix up 13's lacie, falcie and all that jazz.

So ill just say that basically there are 2 world in 13, pulse and cacoon. Pulse is basically earth and cacoon is the moon. There is a god for each world called a falcie.

Few of them but ine for each major ones. Our main gand from cacoon, branded by a falcie to be slaves(lacie) vanille and fang are from pulse, and slaves of pulse lacie, so basically they are with the task of creating Ragnarok which is like the end of time and but limw they dont know cause the gods in this game is like 'yeah imma give you a mission but wont tell you beside weird non undersandable feaver dream and you need to figure out and fast or youll become this universe version of zombie, and if you do complete it you become a ceystal living forever but like, sleeping beauty style. So lose lose situation.

The focus of them both is different from the gang, caus the falcie of cacoon is evil so he gove them focus destroying cocoon while if fang& vannile mannaged to ruin that falcie and bring ragnarok theyll become a crystal, and they used it to save coccon from falling and crushing killing all the people in it, basically became a pillar in eternal sleep when they hheld each other.

But they are saved in later game only to... Lightning return which we wont talk about cause i hate timers.

I love the story of xiii, big part of it is vanille & fang, i havent played in english yet, but i will say, their story is one of the more meaningful on this list, very well developed and i will do it disservice if id try to explain it in few sentences - so do yourself a favour and play or watch the playthrough.

Ignis& gladio(xv)- here is when localization ruimed it. I know cause i palyed on jp dub with eng sub and heard the differences live- first of all gladio and ignis are completely different in jp, as individuals and as a pair- they were supposed to be the first dion& terrence moment, but it got scrapped and they went the vannile& fang route, only that bec they are men, the localization team missed the mark.

Gladio got pissed at noctis in the train because of ignis.

In jp its clear their bond is beyond friends, and not mention the fact that their AI is always stuck together, and that gladio isnt a womenizer in jp at all, and there is no fiancee/girlfriend.

In jp he said suggested there is someone he wants to be with but bec of the state of the world and them both being constantly in the battlefront he couldnt ask.

(and ignis clear his throat when everyone is like oh great, very subtle but it was leading to that)

Every stop of the train or erea post blindness gladio was with ignis not leaving him .

Also tabata san also said that they are more than friends. So there's that too.

But its no secret 15 localization is tereible, the massacared prompto, he is so cringy in english, in jp yeah he is funny but like he says more stuff then random pop colture references, he breaks the 4th wall occasionally but not on the same level of the localization. Also, jp noctis is a little shit because he can and will, in localization he is more relatable while ignos and gladio are kimda mean. In jp its the other way around and up until chap 13 (when he is alone) noctis is a bratt. He has some moments when he is nicer, but when struggle shows he is a bratt about it- and its done purposely since he is a spoiled pronce who never done anything alone in his life.

Thats why in chap 13 he has a change of heart, because he was alone and learned to appriciate his friends when he was stuck alone in the dark with no weapons and i think it was a good call storytelling wise, but yeah the english localzation ruined it and made the whole chapter pointless .

Those are the implied/canon gays of final fantasy up to 15(we got a kiss so its obvious).

The series has always been kinda Fruity and i know some of yall will be like, 'but there's no proof'. Well, japanese speakers(who arent homophobic at least) will agree with me that we tend in media that is not specified like BL or GL to make things subtle. So what in the west is called 'queer coding' is very common in japanese media and it comes in way more shape and forms.usually implied with a desper conncetion relationship or linguistics.its funny cause in the 80's and very early 90's gay pple wasnt hidden in jp pop culture (no kisses or anything but it was straight out told to the viewer/player)

And only later 90's there was a trend of removing us completely from the media, but around that time a specific genre was created so it wasn't out completely.(like yaoi/yuri as erotic mangas existed aince the 80's but usually only love stories or main gay characters were mixed in with the straight media, kimda like what netflix does today, but around 96, 97 the shounen ai and shoujo ai genres rose in popularity(mainly cause of clamp) and things got seperated. In games- because it became a bigger deal in the west square took caution with how clear they gonna make stiff not to piss of the christians after the backlash of Pokemon (idk how it was really but through japanese media and news it seemed at the times that the american patents were pissed so game companies started sensoring their games from all things might piss off christians/monotheistics ).

*also i dont live in japan but i am mixed so i grew in a jp speaking house and family from there always sent games on holidays and birthdays+nhk was always running in the backround to check on the motherland😂

[l0b0t0myb0ner]

Got any clone high headcanons? Also HI!!!

oh boy do i!!!

(also a lot of the ships i include may be controversial, but theyre not problematic and gross so u dont have to worry about that :3).

jfk: hes pan. “if theres a hole, theres a goal!” -jfk, probably /hj. he genuinely felt something for joan when they dated, but he knew that she wasnt gonna stay for long. also hes a mullet-haver. sry i dont make the rules!! hes dating abe (im right about this. i am and im not arguing.)

joan: genuinely the only character in the entire show that i think is 100% only into men. i know that might get me into some drama but idc! shes only shown attraction to men!!! but also to counterpoint that, i think he’s genderfluid and doesn’t care about pronouns. she felt something for jfk, but that feeling was Horny. she really only wanted to date jfk for the sex. which, if you look at season 2, is pretty much canon. he has a fat crush on abe, still, but when jfk gets with him, she decides that she’s done with crushes and dating for a while.

abe: hes bisexual. he is and im right! his crush on joan was one of those things where you convince yourself to like someone but in reality you only think of them as a friend. he ACTUALLY has a crush on jfk but he doesnt realize that until joanfk break up (rivals to lovers moment?) after breaking up with cleo after prom, they don’t talk for a bit, but once cleo realizes she’s a lesbian she decides to befriend abe again, and the two of them plus frida form a cute little friend group and they gossip. also abe lets them give him makeovers cuz why not!

cleo: shes a lesbian. she never showed genuine attraction to a man until john dark, and even then, it was because he was actually joan in disguise. she only wanted to date these guys for power and popularity. so when frida enters the picture, cleo isnt sure how to feel. shes confused and weirded out and she doesnt know how to express those feelings. so she flirts. it starts off as a joke, like a “hey shawty bae we’re just besties but i’d kiss you” to an actual genuine crush. also she gets a better mom when shes unfrozen. because she deserves it.

gandhi: hes asexual and bi (fem pref). hes dating marie curie :) theyre cute :)!!! im not counting season 2 as canon for this, so he got unfrozen along with everyone else. he has this whole enemies thing with topher, but he doesnt consider topher his enemy. topher considers gandhi a rival but not the other way around. gandhi thinks topher should chill out a bit, but considers him as a friend.

i might expand on this later actually cuz right now im like burnt out and my brain is fried from staying up till 5am (oops.) anyways i have a BUNCH more if you want them :)

[mashiee]

Arlo headcanons please please please gimme

hrmhehahaheheaysysh

ok so

i hc that he has 4 older siblings, but was separated from them pretty early on due to [REDACTED] so he was practically alone his whole life, with the occasional step in from valerie

*[REDACTED] is a whole Thing, so send another ask in if you want me to talk about it and go into detail abt my hcs for arlo family/family dynamic(s)

this is very much why he so easily believes her and why he seems so much more adamant about the hierarchy compared to other characters

also why he acts like an only child despite having four older siblings

his sister has tried to reconnect with him but its a work in progress

he collects antique buttons and very much has a hyper fixation on them

yes he is autistic, tbh i probably dont even have to say that

bee allergy, esp hornets

hates wearing shorts outside would rather die than wear them out it feels so weird to him

honestly im not entirely sure what i hc arlos gender. it tends to switch between cismasc and amab demiboy. also sometimes tho its amab nonbinary or agender

also a bit unsure about pronouns. he/him for now but if i end up going for nonbinary or agender later on probably it/its pronouns. or maybe they/them

speaking of being queer he has internalized homophobia (possibly via valerie) so he probably doesnt come out until much later in life

he struggles with allowing himself to be feminine or sometimes even androgynous. was taught growing up that he has to be masculine and strong

its being worked on

plays animal crossing a lot

probably the only video game he plays. aside from maybe like. tetris

probably plays with elaine whether he knows its her or not

gay asexual

says he prefers dogs bc theyre more obedient but in reality he prefers cats

multiple times in a week he'll have moments where he'll suddenly Realize just exactly how Tall. he is

prefers reading over movies/tv/yt/etc. it just isnt as interesting to him. also he prefers things that are physical and that he can feel

acts all superior and shit but in reality hes super self deprecating and thinks he'll never amount to what is expected of him

was deprived of having hobbies and playing as a child so he's very much discovering his inner child as he grows and gets further away from the box he tries to mold into

likes adult coloring books a lot

cant stand repeating sounds it makes him dissociate

derealizes a lot

cant recognize himself in a mirror most of the time so he just. doesnt have them. and when in places that do have them he wont look at them. like if he's in the bathroom he'll look down the entire time he wont look up

same reason why he hates photos

absolutely despises mashed potatoes they are so slimey and disgusting

sometimes i consider hcing him as being 18-19 instead of 17-18 bc like. a lot of autistic children repeat kindergarten for lack of communication/interaction with other children

at the same time tho i feel like valerie wouldnt have allowed that

is a cat person

both in that he prefers cats and also that hes a wet cat

he never actually fights people he just crushes them w his barrier or lets them suffer the backlash from attacking it and then moves on

therefore he is weak asf and has no body strength. mr mans has noodle arms

long eyelashes

like john hes also vampire tier but hes sophisticated whereas john is like... feral vampire

sometimes i hc him as british and having an english accent bc i think its funny

can cook enough to survive but its mediocre

cannot handle ANY amount of spicy

pepper and any form of mint is spicy to him

hates mushrooms

has tried weed exactly two (2) times and has hated it both times

in his words "i felt like a coffee grinder with nothing to grind"

why do you, as a man, feel like you need something to grind? do you want to grind on a man?? is that it?? gay

the first person who convinced him to try it was a combo of rei and kuyo, the second time it was holden

arlo still questions why he did it the second time KNOWING he wouldnt like it

theres a senior chat and arlo got named "Big Daddy" in the chat by holden and he has no idea how to change it and no one will tell him so he just suffers

you would think as a king or whatever hed know how to blackmail ppl to get them to do what he wants but he actually doesnt

people just automatically listen to him so when hes faced with someone who wont, he either broods about it or straight up attacks them. sometimes both

more arlo stuff: arlo sibling info | [REDACTED]

[aroacesafeplaceforall]

okay! My aro and or ace headcannons:

dr who (of any regeneration but i stared believing with the 10th) as fully asexual, sex neutral, not quite replused but is like whats the hype? Humans are weird. I also comsider him somewhere in the demiromantic, greyromantic sides of things. I wasnt mad when he was put in romantic relationships, but i dont think hes the type to often seek them out. (Paired with abandonment issues i dont think he ever needs a romantic parter (like do allos think they need a romantic partner??? Idk))

Sherlock (from bbc sherlock) idk if this is self explanatory or not i guess not since ive seen a lot of johnlock stuff in my time lol. But like he is confused by every concepr of sex and romance. Like he used someones crushe on him as a manipulation tactic. Doesnt often see how what he does hurts those with crushes on him. And like he is neurodivgent so i dont want to say he is aroace because of that, but it certaintly shouldnt take awah just how aro ace i see him. (Also fuck john for his causual anormativity in that show. Blatantly horrible)

aziraphale and crowley from good omens as asexual just cuz they dont need it. Theyre relationship is levels of queer, and in their relationship i dont think they need or want sexual intamacy.

muriel also from good omens as aroace. They are just innocent to me. But not to imply the idea that innocence=lack of sexual/romantic attractjon and or desire. I just dont think it suits them.

frenchie from ofmd, newest headcannon, he just never shows any interest? And i love that? Doesnt care about any of it. Is like yea okay, will politely decline anything

the corinthean from the sandman (tv) as aroallo. I can only exsplain this as he is a bisexual slut to me. Murderer who is a babygirl. He isnt intrested in romance but is (in the nicest way, not deragatory or anything) a slut. Will fuck around (and find out)

will graham from hannibal as heteroromantic, homosexual. Idk if this counts, just his romantic and sexual attraction dont line up, so he is aromantic toward men and asexual toward women.

lazlo from wwdits as bisexual/polyamorus (thats cannon but also) aromantic in some way. He doesnt have romantic attraction when he hooks up with someone, only has romantic toward nadja (his wife) .

collin robinson from wwdits as ace/aro flux i cant explain this one. He just is.

captian jack from dr who/torchwood. Cannonically bisexual but to me he is biromantic and homosexual. Agian idk if this counts. Its just not what i would consider an alloromantic exsperience to have split attractions.

theres probably more that im forgetting but heres the list for my more recently watched shows.

This is a 10/10 list and I fully believe them all now even tho I don’t belong to half of these fandoms

[brokenheartedpod]

Something I've been wondering is my relationshio with sex as a writer. Most of the time, I don't even think about my characters having sex, which is why I joke that all my characters are asexual. Because yeah, sex isnt that important to me as a writer.

As a reader I like reading sex scenes and recently I also discovered hearing them isnt something I particularly dislike. Watchibg them is another thing, 'cause idk the consent of it, whenever theres a sex scene in movies my question is always how uncomfortable it was for the actors cause they must have had at least 12 people there watching them. Doesnt mean Im sex repulse, like if I like the scene I would watch it, but the thing in my mind is never thinking "oh, thats hot" rather "oh that must have been akward".

Like Im pretty sure Im somewhere on the spectrum (both ace and autistic jejeje), and most likely demisexual if not graysexual, but it isnt something I consider when talkibg to people about my identity, bisexuality is enough of a battle already. But yeah,

It is funny how it appears in my writing.

TLDR; My writing is ace positive???

[dandansposts]

trans did vergil wrt nero below cut baybey!!!!!!!

tl;dr vergil knows he has a kid but hasnt seen that kid since he was a newborn by dmc5. v feels like theyre more entitled to being nero's parent than anyone else in the system for reasons

let us get some basics out of the way. vergil is trans, he's asexual, and he has DID according to me. i also think he's autistic. also according to me, eva was a witch and while she did teach both her sons how to use magic as a sort of companion activity to sparda training them in combat, vergil was the one who really took to it; dante for the most part didn't have the attention span for the kind of book learning needed to learn the ins and outs of magic. he can do some basics, has taught himself some things as he's aged, but doesn't really consider himself to be a witch. (witch being a gender neutral term here)

vergil, on the other hand, hyperfixated on it even after eva died, though from there it would have become more v's thing than anyone else's. v considers themself as well as the system as a whole to be a witch, but there's some discrepancies between alters based on opinions on eva and degree of attachment to her memory. (v's a total mama's boy (gender neutral) and i wont be argued w about it. source of strife btwn them and vergil. delicious)

i'm going off my headcanons so i will be including nelo angelo in this, as well as altered pronouns from canon, so

pronoun list:

v: they/them

vergil: he/him

griffon: he/him

shadow: she/her

nightmare: it/its

nelo angelo: he/him

nero: he/they

dante: he/him

vergil system collective pronouns: they/he

yeah im an enby nero truther as well and what of it.

basic summary of events leading up to nero's conception is this:

vergil is in his late teens. he is attempting to transition via magic though this is entirely homebrewed, entirely a spell of his/v's own making, and entirely untested

this backfires horrifically, almost killing them in the process. the ramifications of this leave them physically weak and as we all know this is unacceptable.

prior to this the plan to raise the temen ni gru is already in the works but this just spurs them on. weak, recovering slowly bc as previously stated they nearly killed themself, they head to fortuna looking for information; if you're gonna find anything on ancient demon towers and hell gates its gonna be in the dusty church basement libraries of thee sparda cult id think.

i have 2 branching theories here but the end result is pretty much the same and results in them getting pregnant and carrying baby nero to term. theory one is Unpleasant and i'm going to leave it at that but theory 2 is a sex for information type dealie. makes more sense to me for vergil to view sex as a largely transactional thing and not really have a problem with using it to get info. given that he kinda, y'know, is an orphan and i imagine hasnt had any sex ed, i'm really operating under the assumption that he doesnt really know where babies come from? or at the very least isnt fully aware that this is a risk.

demon baby proceeds to wreak havoc upon an already very weak vergil; abortion attempts are made but are unfruitful. information quest continues despite this.

to make a long story short v is the alter who's most present at nero's birth; they're the one who first lays eyes on this baby, they're the one who holds him, who cleans him, who has a horrible little panic attack wherever the fuck this happens bc what in the fuck tbh. i imagine here, vulnerable and tired and extremely weak, they see Baby and theyre like oh.... youre small and defenseless and yet you have caused me so many problems.... my baby now

power quest takes precedent, nero is abandoned in fortuna days after being born. v later claims to have been against this but at the time would have agreed that power comes first; how else are you going to protect yourself or your baby when you're a heavily traumatized half demon teen dad

raising the temen ni gru becomes a pretty much suicidal endevour from here. it's stupid and dangerous and will probably end with them dying awful and bloody but they've just experienced true weakness; it's power and therefore safety and stability or death. canon pretty much happens from here.

now. i have done a lot of world building on witches in my dmc headcanons and am SO willing to talk about it but the necessary information here is the ability to practice witchcraft is generally inherited mother to daughter (strictly in the biological sense) as it was a gift bestowed upon human priestesses by demons prior to sparda cutting the human and demon worlds off from each other. eva's family goes waaaaaay the fuck back as the original priestesses of sparda's family line. vergil and dante both inherit this ability but crucially so does nero, despite the fact that according to me he is for all intents and purposes amab. chalk this up to either nero being intersex or vergils fuckshit genetics messing with things. either way, nero inherits this ability. or if you are taking my ideas and running with it, which by all means please do, and you decide he's a trans man, that literally works lkke i dont care all that you need to know here is nero inherits the ability to preform witchcraft from vergil.

a very good friend of mine has allowed me to bounce ideas off him and has given me many ideas so should i talk about neros witchcraft at any point, a lot of the credit for the ideas goes to him.

and if he is reading this and would like me to credit him for his baller ideas he should dm me on discord but ANYWAY.

i am now going to breakdown how each alter relates to nero. i feel its worth it to note that no matter what happened in fortuna to create nero, the whole pregnancy was probably pretty traumatic and dysphoria enducing.

as i'm sure most DID havers and systems can tell you, interpersonal relationships when you are like this can get wildly complicated. you're balancing differing opinions and outlooks and gut reactions and it can be really difficult! so it follows, to me at least, that vergil & co have a very complicated relationship w/ their kid post DMC5 and just. super complicated feelings about nero In General.

vergil

now, vergil has extremely limited experience with people and a very narrow, very warped view of what family means. he also has a massively warped moral compass and tends to put self preservation above all else. this is really obvious when he doesnt have the other alters holding him back; he would have killed both dante and nero if they weren't so durable just because they got in his way. that said, it's not like he doesn't care about them. dante's his twin brother, the one thing he wants more than anything is for dante to join him and i imagine it's similar with nero.

(unfortunately nero's a little too much like his uncle to join vergil's crazy power quests but y'know.)

he absolutely would not have been a good dad to a small child but with nero grown up and not dependent upon him for anyrhing, i can see vergil really being the one who tells nero about their family, about where they come from, and just all of the history there, which like... nero's an ophan, i can see that being very important to him.

i also think the whole arm thing like... in vergils mind, thats a mercy. he didn't try to kill him, just ripped off his arm bc he Needed the yamato for self preservation reasons. like, you get in his way, vergil will kill you. he didnt kill nero, to him that is almost positively a mercy and i imagine he has significant difficulty understanding why nero might hold that against him- vergil's been torn apart and remade and just destroyed more times than he probably remembers, like... this isn't anything to him.

as for interactions with infant nero, i can see vergil having a similar Oh... My Baby initial reaction as v, but this is Vergil- he needs to be strong, and if he can't protect himself, how's he supposed to protect a baby? i think he's fully aware that the temen ni gru quest is almost certainly a suicide mission, but in his mind, he has no choice.

in summary, i think he tries. i think he is a terrible father but i think every decision he's ever made has just been him Trying in his own fucked up way. whether or not he ever has much of a relationship with nero is entirely up to nero.

v

v is really interesting to me wrt nero. i see them as viewing themself as being somehow more entitled to being nero's parent than anyone else. on top of that, v is manipulative, they're cagey, they're the first alter who actually talks to adult nero, they're the kind of person who'll tell you only what you need to know to the point where it's basically a lie of omission.

this is all self defense, but it's still something that makes them wildly unpleasant to be arnd. couple that with feeling like nero Belongs to them, they actively sabotage other alters attempts to get to know their kid (until confronted about it). the non-humans are just "familiars", vergil and nelo angelo are "dangerous", etc. they honestly probably dont even really tell nero that they're All Vergil, Technically. this is probably something nero finds out from either dante (thinking nero already knew) or griffon (just telling him bc vergil doesnt think it's relevant information and v is actively keeping that from him)

that all said, v cares very deeply about nero and about what he thinks of them. they love him Dearly, would do anything for him, and genuinely just want what's best for him, though their idea of what's best for him doesn't always match up with reality.

they'd delight in sharing their witchcraft with him, in sharing the history of that, sharing everything they know, just... Teaching him like eva did them.

as with vergil they are just doing their fucking best. they just kind of happen to be an asshole. they also just happen to be emotionally unavailable. these things make interpersonal relationships difficult. i imaginr they also make connecting with your long lost son extremely difficult as well.

griffon

as v's kinda direct protector, griffon's heavily entwined with their bullshit but that does Not mean he puts up with it. post dmc5 and post hell, griffon? he is not pulling punches. nero wants Truth, in all its gory details? he should talk to griffon.

out of all of them, griffon's the most... mentally sound, shall we say. he's generally levelheaded, he's very silly, and is the most openly affectionate aside from shadow.

he very much considers nero to be Their son, rather than His son; nero's as much his as he is any other alters, they're all nero's dad, full stop.

how he shows affection, however, is by relentlessly bullying and he Definitely takes it too far and nero Definitely does not always understand that he's joking.

what v won't admit and what griffon has given up trying to tell them is that he was just about as present during nero's birth as They were, they are Very closely tied as alters, but . well. u try telling that to a wildly unstable witch.

shadow and nightmare

to be honest, i don't have a whole hell of a lot to say about them. they love nero, they both consider him the system's kid, etc, but they don't tend to front unless there's some.kind of imminent danger be that psychological or physical.

That Said, shadow can be VERY snuggly if you catch her fronting outside Danger Time. she's extremely sweet and loving to anyone she likes, and she Likes nero, that's her BABY.

angelo

and finally we come to the one that is entirely headcanoned. i'm gonna keep this relatively brief bc im running out of steam anf patience to keep.typung this but angelo's intial gut reaction to nero is about the same as it is to dante, which is just . sheer, gut wrenching terror followed by the worlds most aggressive fight response. consequently i Do think he's gutted nero once or twice.

as he begins to recover, begins to get out of the mundus brainwashing and starts to really just. be a person, if nero is willing to let him in he is the most fatherly. he's gentle but firm, he's patient, he's the kind of person who will do little things for you just because he wants you to be happy. i also don't see him pulling a v; he's very honest, very humble, and *very* willing to apologize and admit to wrongdoing- for fuckssake, he gutted his son, who he really does want a relationship with. gotta start somewhere, u know.

i can talk more about system interpersonal relations but as a tldr v Does Not Like Angelo Whatsoever; angelo represents the single worst time in their life, and he's also just everything v isnt.

anyway. thank you all for reading if youve gotten this far. if you wanna hear about anything else i may have mentioned in passing i am ABSOLUTELY willing to babble about my dmc headcanons.

[butchwere]

I think I'm asexual even when it comes to myself and it really depresses me because I don't want to be... I want to have nasty sex with my girlfriend. But then I just don't, and when I do it doesn't feel like much. I think I'm broken in that area truly and can't accept it

Aw hunny. Im no expert in asexuality but I DO know that all of these things are true and can exist at the same time:

1. Asexuals are not broken. People are allowed to not desire or need sex. Our culture is sex-obsessed and its fucked up that sexuality is forced on and expected of us.

2. Sexuality is more of a spectrum and sexual interest can vary person to person and be fluid and change for YOU many ways in a lifetime

3. I hear you saying you WANT to have nasty sex, that can be explored. Level of interest in sex and kink isnt “fixed” and its natural to need to explore to find what you like. (Do you want nasty sex for you or to make your partner happy? No wrong answers here just something to consider)

4. There are so many ways to engage in sex and maybe you’re needing a change of role, environment, different stimulation, foreplay etc.

5. Medications (and so many other factors omg) can impact libido and arousal.

All in all…If you want to explore sex and sensuality, you can and should! It doesn’t always go perfectly, theres times when it doesnt feel right or magical. The goal is to be kind to yourself and curious. And its ok if you decide you’d rather fuckin NOT❤️

[cattheraccon]

i feel like whenever i tell people im asexual or that i think i might be aromantic, the first answer i get is always "but don't close yourself to the possibility of finding someone" or "you never know, you might meet the right person" and stuff like that and sure, i might meet someone one day that makes me feel those things i dont feel, but im not describing whats gonna happen in the future, these labels are describing me right now

i mean its the same as telling a lesbian that "maybe she hasnt found the right guy" and that's really homophobic, because, sure, she might find some guy, but considering she has never felt that way for guys, its safer to assume she wont feel that way for any guy, right?

i do wish i could feel all those feelings and fall in love and have a partner and all the romantic stuff that looks so nice on movies and books and such, but so far i have only forced myself to try abd it didnt have any good results. and looking back i never had any crushes on girls or boys when i was younger, and i never felt like i needed to be romantic with anyone... do i wish to be romantic with someone? yes, absolutely, it looks nice and warm and beautiful, but do i feel that way for anyone? not really.

even when i was in a relationship i feel like i just enjoyed having company and being close to someone else, and also i really like hugs and kisses, so it seemed normal?, but i never really felt anything special for him? i would have done anything to make him happy, but i would do the same for all of my closest friends because i love them, even if its not something romantic or whatever.

i dont think ill ever find someone i feel attracted to, and i dont think ill ever have a relationship with someone like me, considering so far i have only ever met two asexuals, which isnt much, and i have never met anyone that was aromantic, and i think ill just have to make peace with that fact.

i do enjoy being by myself and i really really love my friends enough to be happy with just their company, but it still feels lonely sometimes. maybe ill have to adopt a kitty someday

[foxgirlchorix]

thinking about “ok actually what fursonae/[x]girlsonae do i want to have”

this will probably end up mostly being ‘basic bitch’-y. i admit to mostly only looking as deep as single species in, like, reptiles and mammals, and i expect a lot of this will revolve around “what if was humen shaped”

my first basic bitch move: im probably not gonna have anything microscopic. no disrespect to bacteria archaea and most eukaryotes but im sorry i dont have the power

this is going to be long!

okay. first

ediacaran biota: there is absolutely no way i can do them justice. but i love them so dearly and need to be them

slime molds: slime molds are really cool but i dont know if i can do them justice. thing to keep in mind though!!

lichens: lichens are the fucking best. the only problem here is this character is probably some sort of rockgirl with lichen growing on her... which i suppose isn’t a BAD problem to have

ferns: ferns can be fun and weird. they’re a big group with a lot of variety so i think a ferngirl is feasible! considering arborescent ferns like the cyatheales.

conifers: FUCK YOU THERE ARE THERE ARE DECIDUOUS CONIFERS. i could be an amazing larch

water lilies: water lilies are kind of gender and wow that looks utterly meaningless as a phrase. but like. they are!

cassytha: i like parasitic vines! cassytha are a good example but i’d be open to other parasitic vinegirls

triuridaceae: i really like flowering achlorophyllous plants. and you say they get their food by digesting intracellular fungi? delightful. also they look SO WEIRD

bromeliads: core problem- there are carnivorous and myrmecophyte bromeliads but they aren’t in the groups of bromeliad i find cutest. otherwise like come on who doesnt want a bromeliadsona

plane trees: i love those awful hell achenes

venus flytraps: i mean there’s SO much fun stuff to be had with a dionaeasona! they’re what a lot of people think of when they hear “carnivorous plant” for a reason.

ivy: ivy are wonderful!

violets: violets are among my favorite flowers especially when they’re really really tiny and especially when clustered

pomegranates: pomegranates are my absolute favorite fruit and they’re very pretty and have very pretty flowers and did i mention they’re very pretty

fungi: the core problem with fungi is the part one’s interested in is the fruiting body, and unlike with (at least some) plants the aboveground part is mostly inconsequential. however i’m thinking of bracket fungi, earthstars, and chanterelles. it is downright criminal of me to go into as much detail as i did with plants and will be doing with animals but not as much as with fungi so it’s going to have the longest description thing

sponges: i can’t do sponges because the concept of a spongesona has been monopolized by the paramount corporation with the character “bob”

comb jellies: comb jellies are so cool and the extremely underrepresented field of “jelly sonas” (DO NOT CONFUSE WITH SLIMEGIRLS) deserves my mark. theyre so good

hydrozoans and jellyfish: there is so much cool variety here. you’ve got tons of bioluminescent stuff, colonial porpitas and siphonophores, some freshwater stuff, a few that have photosynthetic symbiotes, and even some active predators. the life cycle of larva -> asexual polyp -> medusa -> sexual polyp is so cool, though there’s stuff missing various of those phases obvi

vampire squid: the joined arms are really cool and i like them, so i think vampire squids are my preferred cephalopods for sona purposes. you know ursula?

chitons: there isnt enough respect for chitons. i like them and i hope i will be able to make a girl

bryozoans: i love bryozoans if i had a brain i would study them!! people don’t think about them enough. i love the whole lots of specialized zooids thing and i love that some can ‘walk’

tardigrades: overplayed and overhyped, but i do like them. eight legys

dinocaridids: i LOVE THEM SO MUCH. i need at least one dinocaridsona. maybe an anomalocaris but there are SO MANY GOOD OPTIONS

trilobites: i’m not as interested in trilobites, but it’s kind of obligatory don’t you think?

sea spiders: i must confess a fondness for sea spiders. they’re probably too stick-y to be a good girlbasis

horseshoe crabs: beloved beasties. i think about as hard to girl as a turtle

spiders: everyone’s spidergirls are pretty much always kinda modeled off of tarantulas, with a big wide opisthosoma. that’s all well and good, who doesn’t love fat asses, but a more elongated form like orb weavers could be fun for a spidertaur! a weirdly shaped one (like triangular ones!) might be fun too. also i love when spidertaurs have the human legs be pedipalps

centipedes: everyone loves disturbingly large centipedes!

dragonflies: idk why but i like dragonflies a lot. hell if i know how to girl them though

wasps and bees: both of these deserve a sona. maaaybe ants too. the point is i like the eusociality and theyre more aesthetic to me than termites

rays: rays are kind of perfect for ‘you call this a mermaid, but it’s actually just a really big [animal] with a small human torso on top??’. i love this idea and want to use it

sharks: the possibilities are endless. you could have a typical sharkgirl with a nice fat tail, an angel shark like my ray girl concept, or also i like whale sharks i should do a whale shark

ichthyosaurs: you may not like it, but this is what peak performance looks like. the IDEAL choice for a girl who doesn’t want a dolphinsona but also wants something a bit spicier than a sharkgirl. definitely thinking a mermaid-like setup here. she would be incredibly annoying about ‘well i’m a reptile and a mammal and i look like a fish so you have to guess my pronouns now’. what the hell does that mean

mosasaurs: mosasaurs are a bit overplayed in the ‘omg big animal so scary’ field, but it might be worth playing into that? maybe skew things a little whale-ways

snakes: snakes are a classic for a reason! maybe go with a marine snake, or else just commit to the largest snake ever for a worldserpentsona (beloved)

crocodiles: many people have said what i’m about to say- crocodiles are worth it. i can and should commit to a crocodilesona. for fat tails around the world

pterosaurs: a pterosaur sona is downright needed. and there are SO MANY CHOICES!! definitely something in clade caeliadracones if only because that’s a great name

tyrannosaurs: i have to admit it- tyrannosaurs are iconic for a reason. these reasons dovetail pretty well into having a tyrannosaurgirlsona! plus because shes not a normal tyrannosaur i can give her as many feathers as i want

microraptorines: i think they’re so cute and i want “four” wings

enantiornithes: i love them so so so so so much. like i know at least part of it is ‘grass is greener on the other side’ but they’re fucking great. there are so many of them and i love them all

pigeons: i already have a pigeonsona. i have like 10 because angels. but i love pigeons

swifts: i like swifts a lot i think itd be fun to have a sona thats just a whole fucking bunch of swifts

shrikes: i may not have the stomach to be a shrikegirl. but i should try

corvids: MESS WITH THE BEST, DIE LIKE THE REST. magpie angel swoop on you one million times forever

bats: bats are cool and underrated. a bat sona would be fun- maybe a megabat like a flying fox?

cats: i actually already have a couple cat sonas but they’re about as well deifned as ‘hehe... 8′3″ looks like cat face and is a height”. considering perhaps a bigcat-sona and maaaybe a lynxsona

bears: bears <3 i could do it and there will could be more

foxes: my 4d foxgirl is all the fox sona i will ever need <- girl who will create 10 more fox sonas in the next 15 seconds

dolphins: my hatred of dolphins is played up for comedic effect. even so... its orca time

lemurs: every once in a while i think ‘what if lemur sona’ but i get so so scared

[menalez]

Hey so I really wanted to know your thoughts on SAM (the split attraction model). Before I discovered what comphet was and read about it, I identified as bisexual or bi-ace . . . Only to realize now that I’ve only ever been sexually attracted to women and only women, and that I was only ever truly “asexual” toward men. Yet, I have also had crushes on boys in the past. Most if not all of my TV crushes were male, and some do my strongest infatuations in my preteen and teen years were boys. I found them aesthetically attractive and wanted to be near them, until they actually got near me and then not so much. I have a suspicion that I liked the attention and validation and also just liked their nice faces, but I remember my first crush had me begging God on my knees to make the boy marry me. Yet when there was opportunity to so much as kiss him I was appalled. I also wonder if the reason I liked fictional men more than women was because they were written better, and if I didn’t consider my deep, love for my female friends and consuming interest in them as romance because it didn’t feel the same and I was taught to disregard it as friendly—it didn’t feel fast or flighty, but deep and all-consuming, like I was being eaten alive from the inside. It was passion.

I don’t know, maybe I’m not used to seeing women as full people and hence found them less interesting as characters and sometimes even irl, kinda like black people (as an African I resented African stories and had no interest and felt no spark in seeing African characters. I realize I’m just not interested in caricatures.)

I don’t know. I’m very conflicted. I have a desire for attractive men, but never sexual, and not even romantic. Kinda like I want to take their faces in my hands and stare, or rub noses. Or touch their smiles. Mainly sensual, but romantic? Sexual? I don’t think so, no.

sorry for dumping this on you, answer at your own leisure and comfort

(but I am also waiting with bated breath because I have been spiraling for days now)

idk anon i really can’t say for sure and whatever i tell u may be false bc how ur currently processing and understanding ur feelings isnt necessarily objective and ultimately you’ll come to a clearer conclusion on ur own. but ive never had tv crushes on males or been attracted to actors or found male characters interesting or prayed to god for a specific guy to marry me (imagining myself married to a guy, as i knew was expected to me, made me deeply depressed and feel trapped but i didn’t know why), and i definitely don’t want to hold a man’s face and stare at it and touch noses (im ok w holding a close gay male friend’s face but i don’t think id want to look particularly long and def not put our faces so intimately close) sooo i don’t rly relate to the stuff you mentioned. honestly figuring out my sexuality was also quite difficult for me bc it required me to rly think back to as far back as my young childhood & that made me realise that from a young age it was clear that there was one group that i was innately attracted to but another group that i knew i should be attracted to & thus would interpret discomfort and anxiety as meaning i was attracted to them (despite ultimately having 0 interest in them). i hope u do figure it out sooner rather than later bc i know it can be distressing to be unsure and conflicted on ur sexuality n feelings 😭

as for SAM, im totally against it. our sexual libido isn’t our sexual orientation, it can vary over time or due to certain experiences or from medication etc. sexual orientation is sth else and romantic & sexual attraction r more or less the same things broken down into specific feelings and preferences. i never thought much about “sensual attraction” tho but i feel like if u aren’t attracted to men as in they don’t make u horny, ur not sexually interested in them, u don’t want to date them, u can find them aesthetically pleasing at most but that’s about it and u always felt this way then ur probably a lesbian. but the stuff u mentioned sounds like weak attraction to men so idk?

[butch-bakugo]

Not to be an ass but yeah...

This lesbian was assaulted.... This trans woman was found dead.... Bi women get beat up on trains and are more likely to be hurt by their male partners than straight women..... This trans man died defending lesbians in germany.... These gay men are in camps in russia... This nonbinary person was killed.....

Amazing how you hear about violence aginest gay and trans people but i litterally cant find a single vetted article that shows violence aginest aro/ace pple for "aphobia". Like its always these excuses;

Aroaces face corrective rape! the "corrective rape" was not corrective and happend because the aroace person said no to sex and it was just mysogny because the aro/ace person was afab n would you look at that, the rapist was a cis man. Thats mysogny. Not to mention 80% of aro/ace people are cis women, trans men and afab nonbinary people aka the people raised litterally taught from birth that sex is not something for them to enjoy and they exist to please.

Doctors consider lack of sexual/romantic attraction to be a symptom instead of an orientation! Because lacking the desire for sex and relationships is a hallmark sign of trauma, abuse and mental illness. Its litterally symptom #1 to struggle with sex and commitment when your traumatized and ive litterally never met a not-traumatized aro/ace. I know this because im a traumatized aro/ace and no, "aphobia" isnt traumatic. Honestly, even if your aro/ace as a result of trauma, thats valid, just make sure your healing and that your honest about it.

Well, when i wore my ace pin, someone called me a queer! Thats a sign that me, being cisgender and heteroromantic asexual, am really queer! Experiencing misplaced oppression at the hands of homophobic and transphobic people dosent suddenly make you gay or trans. Also, they dont know what any of the flags mean so why tf would they care that you dont fuck unless its Tuesday? They just assume all little pins with a bunch of colored stripes mean child groomer gay pedo tranny, not demiaroace or wtf ever. They litterally only hate you because they assume you fuck the same gender or dont identify as ur brith sex. Thats it. It also dosent help that you go running around saying "im SOOO gay" and "im such a dirty little queer." When you are neither. When you say ur gay, they are gonna think ur gay. If they know ur cis and het and dont have sex, they dont give a fuck.

Well, your theory falls apart that aro/aceness is mostly brought on by trauma and mysogny when trans women, amab enbies and cis man aro/aces exist! Ok, you still havent disproven my point because 1. transfems and amab enbies usually have gender dysphoria which, speaking from my own experiences, complicates sex and makes it harder. Gender dysphoria is a mental illness and unless you bring to me 5 examples of cis het men who identify as aroace, you dont get to use them as a gotcha. Ive been gay for almost 10 years and ive still never met one, online or irl.

I also never stated that aro/aceness was purely brought on by trauma/mental illness and mysogny, its something that can just naturally happen. Ive just never seen it genuinely happen. Usually the person has trauma/mental illness or is afab or is trans or all three. All of these things, according to proven psychology, can affect the sex drive, attraction and desire for committed relationships.

Thats why every aro/ace you see is either really young and in pain, still healing from trauma or is older and admits to holding on out of spite or admit that its trauma related. There are always gonna be exceptions but unless those excepts make up more than 25% of a thing, im not considering it something totally stand alone. Its also why every ex-aro/ace carries the same story: they identified with it when they were younger and healing from some traumatic shit, they got older and got help, they healed and magically they werent adverse to sex and relationships. That dosent happen with gay pple or trans pple usually. Like 70% of today's aro/ace people are allo 5 years later. If not 5, then 90% by 10 yrs. If not 10, then 99% by 20 yrs.

Its not a coincidence. Adversity towards sex and relationships usually has a foot in the graves of social oppression, trauma/abuse and mental illness. Usually once someone feels empowered by their minority status, heals from their trauma and copes with their mental illnesses, they arnt aro/ace anymore. I speak from experience watching pple i knew when i was 13 go from traumatized and a "romance and sex repulsed" aroace transmasc nonbinary kid who hates allos and gags at sex scenes to being 20 and seeing them all just be ur average bisexual transmasc nonbinary person who kisses and fucks like everybody else. They might throw an arospec or acespec label in their like demi- or -flux but its usally just labels that mean that they are normal person who dosent fuck on sight or isnt always thinking about sex.

Im not saying that every incident of aro/aceness is a result of trauma/abuse, mental illness and bigotry but i am saying that coming to terms with that shit usually makes someone less aro/ace. Im also mentioning how many times ive seen aro/ace people throw out excuse after excuse and label after label that all boil down to telling someone to stop getting therapy and just identify as this because "all labels are vaild and inate to you. You'll always be this." Then they mob you when you get help and openly say your not aroace anymore and ur labled a "traitor" who "wasnt an actual aroace and is just a troll" cause you dare to talk about rhw toxicity and fandomization the aroace communities suffer from. I know this cause im aroace and i dont touch those communities with a 10ft pole. Aint happening. I see a person with a demigreyromantic pin and i turn the other way hopeing to got they didnt see my aro one cause i refuse to talk to pple like that.

The definitions of romance and sex are fluid for a reason and just because you think you dont fit the societal definition of a "average amount of sexual and romantic attraction" dosent mean ur right about society and dosent make you akiocupioangleddemiaroacefluxspike, i promise. All these bajillion labels fall apart the moment you mention that its completely natural for a human's desire for sex and romantic partnership is supposed to fluxuate over the course of your life and multiple things influence it. Im not opposed to microlabels and sexuality modifiers and other things people do in an attempt to find community with others who have the same experiences as them and i never have but what i am saying is that little shit like that dosent oppress you on a societal scale and never has and to think critically about yourself and others to understand that what your feeling isnt always the truth and emotions can betray you.

You arent always a trustworthy person and its always best to make long term decisions on a full stomache, a mid mood, in clean clothes and plenty of energy with enough time to be sure. Quick decisions can fuck you up and the amount of spite and toxicity coming from the aroace communities when you even so much as glance critically at them is worth a few months of deliberation before you go in full speed. Just dont come crying to the normal aroaces when you hit a brick wall 5 ft in and get bombarded with cishet sob stories of people who lost their partner cause they didnt disclose their aroace status, cupcakes and dragons, the gay dads kicked me out copypasta and a bajillion people claiming that their oppressed with their only sources being "trust me bro" and " how dare you question my experiences". If you arnt 100% informed, ur on a hundred blocklists just for mentioning that you dont like the ace flag or some meaningless shit like that.

Trust me, dont bother.

[robthewischmop]

I still exist

I am a human and I still exist and you probably still exist too if your reading this[*0]. I still have no idea how this works im still just writing something in to this thing and I'm still just hoping somebody acknowledges my existence again.[Yes Im doing this post but again]

Since this is the tenth thing Im putting here im propbebly going to do something

Hi my name really isn't important just make something up or use my user name if you really have to[*1]

My pronouns are all of them (Im agender and dont really care what people call me also I like it when people change wich pronouns they use for me between sentences because that sounds confusing and i like that or something)

I am also Asexual and like 90% sure I'm Aromatic so yeah Im just Aromatik till proven something else now.

and I should probably inform you all that English still is not my first language and also that I am probably maybe Dyslexic but idk[*2]

Considering this I would still like to ask you to inform me of any typos and spelling mistakes and grama errors and all that stuff

This post was brought to you by me and I will probably do something longer again sometimes soon.

Because this is just the information from my first post but a little different here is one more thing that wasn't in my first post: For some reason i am the only person in my friend group that has a healthy sleep schedule even when i don't need to wake up early the next morning

I almost forgot this is the normal end of the post after the keep reading is just some more stuff manly more about the points that i put the [*]things on so if you want to know more about those things that I put them one you can reed it but you really dont have to If you dont want

[Yes I am doing it like this now because the things here a too long to put them In to the thing above btw I have no idea if this is understandable for anyone that isnt me but Im doing it this way for this post ]

about [*1]: you can still use the name from my first post. I just wrote it like that because I have been thinking that I maybe want to change my username(on tubler)[because almost everyone i know irl knows that I go by "Robthewischmop" online and maybe I don't want to make it that easy for them to find me but most of them don't know tubler Is a thing that still exists so maybe I'll just keep this one or maybe I will find a new name that I like ]

about[*2]: Im dont really know If I am dyslexic or not but a lot of people keep asking me if I am[Like a lot of my teacher at my new school have been asking me this and also I have been thinking that I could have It for a while now] but i dont know yet [I will know in like a month or 2 and I will probably make a post about it but if i am not I will maybe just take that sentence out of the post but idk]

Edit: yeah I have a thingy now that says Im dyslexic (I mean a real diagnosis not just a piece of paper that someone wrote "this person is dyslexic" on)

about[*0]: "I am a human and I still exist and you probably still exist too if your reading this" I originally wanted to make a different post that starts with this but then I remembered I wanted to make a new post that I can pin so people can look at it and know stuff about me because of the name thing and the aromatic thing and the sentence that I added in the bit with my pronouns and stuff

I will probably still make that idea i had a post but not today.

It is now 7:05 pm on the 01/07/2024 and I started writing this sometime yesterday but then I had to maintain my healthy sleep schedule and I dont remember when I started but I stop at like 11pm yesterday if that helps and today I started writing the part after the keep reading at 6:20 pm

The end for real this time