#or whatever other word that almost describes the feeling but never will fully

[decaffeinateddreams]

meow

[screampied]

‘ I JUST WANNA HEAR YOU (S)CREAMMM ! ’

ᡴꪫ sum. what’s your favorite scary movie? is it carrie? psycho? or maybe nightmare on elm street? perhaps picking up the phone was a bad idea, but you don’t scare easily! or do you?

wc. 6.0k

warnings. fem! reader, ghostface geto & ghostface nanami, college au, threesōmes, unprotected, brief phone sēx, roleplay, dirty talk, praise, overstim, implied multiple ōrgasms, spit, manhandling, brēeding, hair pulling, oral (f & m receiving), cowgirl dp.

an. from this ask!

“hello.”

“hello?”

“what’s your favorite scary movie?”

you deadpan, almost as if you’ve seen this movie before. it was around close to midnight. you were the only one sober at some random frat party you got dragged to. everyone besides you were probably wasted or shoving tongues into mouths. sitting up on a cushioned bed, you hold the landline up to your ear. “mean girls two. bye.”

“….girl what? that’s not a—”

you hang up, averting your eyes back towards the tv screen that displayed some cheesy soap opera. about precisely thirteen seconds pass before the landline screeches a loud deafening ring again.

sighing, you answer it. “stop calling this number. prank calls aren’t funny.”

“no.” the voice replies, and it’s very deep—you swear you’ve heard something like it before. a best way to describe it was that it had a gruff pitch to it, baritone running all underneath it. his voice was also a bit sly too. “i just wanna talk to you.”

“bother some other girl. bye.”

“don’t hang up on me.”

for whatever reason, you don’t hang up. his voice sounded a bit stern—you sit up before growing quiet. you’re fully alert now.

“good girl. now, i’ll ask again. what’s your favorite scary movie?”

pressing your back against the comforter, your thighs squeeze together. with another vexed sigh, you say the most random movie that comes immediately to mind. “halloween.”

“pft. basic.”

“wha— you’re the one who asked.”

“oh, doll i’m just joking. but anyway, you like slasher movies, yeah?”

for whatever reason, the more you talked to this total stranger, you start to feel a sudden uncanny stir delve around your stomach. you weren’t scared, yet at least, but it was oddly peculiar. his voice sounds a bit familiar the more you listen to it. with how teasing the caller on the other line appeared, it was strangely intriguing. you kind of didn’t wanna hang up anymore, besides this party you were at was quite … not the best.

“not really. i am a jamie lee curtis fan though, i only watched because i make fun of the deaths.” you mumble.

“hmmm,” the voice hums through the other end. it’s as if he’s pondering what his next choice of words will be to you. “so…you got a boyfriend?”

you were taken aback by how abrupt the change of subject was. the man on the other end laughs at your awkward silence before you finally speak.

“no, and it’s not like it’s any of your business.”

“easy, girl. i’m just curious. besides, what if i wanna ask ya out?”

you grow quiet again before rubbing your neck, you were growing a bit hot.

“whatever. no, i don’t have a … boyfriend.”

“ooh. you hesitated there.”

you grumble. “shut up. i’m hanging up.”

the man immediately replies with a chortle.

“wait, wait. heh, serious though. you never told me your name, doll face.”

with an eye roll, you utter, “why do you wanna know my name?”

“because i wanna know who i’m looking at.”

“what?”

“what?”

each word he spoke breaks through the phone due the deep mess of his voice. a few rough sparks from his dialogue punctures through the soundbox of the device. again, he did sound oddly familiar. you just couldn’t put your foot on it.

the man chuckles before responding in a more sly tone—changing the subject again.

“you know doll, you sound kind of out of breath. call me crazy, but before i called you, were you playing with yourself?”

your legs suddenly squeeze shut, you were wearing one of your borrowed hoodies and shorts underneath. any sane person would have hung up eons ago, but for whatever reason—you felt your heartbeat start to race. the more you listened to the deep voice on the other end, the more you started to grow more curious. what’s wrong with playing around for a little bit? besides, what’s the worst thing that could happen—you dying?

you scoff, thinking this was nothing more than a dumb prank call—you decided that playing along wouldn’t hurt. you had nothing else to do anyway.

“so what if i was playing with myself?”

“i bet you didn’t even make yourself finish, doll.”

his voice, the more it spoke in that rough pitched tone—you couldn’t help but press the landline up to your ear just a bit further. you furrow your curled up brows, lowering your guard a bit. probably foolish, maybe you’d regret this later, but alas, reality wasn’t on your mind at the moment.

“are you saying you can make me finish?” you mutter, growing amused now.

“oh i know i can. i can make you get off from just from my voice alone.”

he was toying with you, but it was too late to back down. you intake a honed breath before humming.

“okay, prove it then.”

he chuckles.

“mhm. take those panties off first. actually no, slide them to the side for me.”

you really felt like you were in a movie, shamelessly at this random guy’s beck and call. as the show played in the background, you press the middle part of your thumb against the volume button to turn it down four notches. the room was practically silent now, the only noises heard were from the blaring beat drops of edm music downstairs. sprawling your legs out, you creep a shaking hand between your thighs.

the voice grows quiet, you finally move your panties toward the side before slouching back against the pillow.

“you must be really bored. talking to a random girl at the m-midnight.” you exhale.

“heh, m-maybe,” he mocks your falter. “but i’m sure you’ll keep me entertained with that cute voice of yours.”

he was so smooth. smooth as if he was prepared for every word that flew out of your mouth. as your fingers glide against your now exposed entrance, you let off a shaky breath.

he was right, out of boredom you tried to play with yourself— yet, that didn’t work out because you could never make yourself finish. your attempt was basically useless. with a frowning pout, you reply. “now what?”

“finger yourself, silly. and i wanna hear, put the phone up against that pussy for me, doll.”

he was filthy.

you felt yourself start to throb before removing the landline from against your ear and placing it right against your doused entrance.

with heavy jagged breaths becoming more irregular, the person on the other line hears the wet sloshes of your cunt up against the phone. again, he grows quiet—it’s almost like you can make out his deep attractive breaths and it makes you pulse even more.

“bet you’re so nice ‘n soaked. sounds so sloppy.”

gnawing on the softness of your bottom lip, your thumb briefly skims past the nub of your clit and you whine. you were already a bit sensitive from before, starting to stroke your fingers against it. bringing the phone back up to your ear, you ease a single finger inside. it feels warm—you were slick, coating your own finger with a nice amount of your obscene arousal. it doesn’t take long for you to start to pant, slithering another finger inside of your cunt before moaning. it fits nicely, nice and snug.

“you sound so pretty. i want you to imagine those are my fingers, pretty girl. can ya do that?”

“y-yeah,” you start to stammer, feeling a sudden spongey texture inside of you—you gasp, not expecting to reach your sweetened g-spot so soon. it was a mere bumpy texture, gloopy gummy walls involuntarily accepting your two slender fingers with an open gesture. “fuck, ‘m still a bit sensitive.”

he guffaws lowly.

“yeah, i bet you are. poor baby can’t even make herself cum.”

you swallow, the playfulness in his voice making your thighs start to tremble a bit. with relaxed fingers stretching throughout your walls, you focus on your breathing. each pant that came out of your hot breaths seemed like it was gonna be your last. after a while, your toes start to curl up in pure pleasure—you moan, feeling a sudden rush of weightlessness nirvana overtake you.

“find your g-spot for me. tell me when you do.”

“i- i already found it,” you whine, a sheaf of nerves that store inside of your pussy pulsating at a rapid speed. your head throws itself back as you’re just moaning melodically. “fuck, why don’t you just come over ‘n finish for me already.”

the voice laughs again.

“yeah? you want me to come over instead? maybe i should use my tongue since your fingers are so useless, dollface.”

at this point, you didn’t really care. maybe making simple rational decisions today just wasn’t in your favor. the eerie voice, each second you spent listening to it the more aroused you became. maybe getting off to a pure stranger’s voice was embarrassing but you were feening. the air felt suddenly thick. so thick you could cut it with a knife. with your bottom lip being chewed on like gum, you briskly shiver. cold, wintry air wafts against your skin and you moan for the nth time. an unforeseen chill runs down your spine before you hold back yet another whine.

“f-fuck, just come ‘n finish for me. i can’t do it. please.”

he grows quiet for a solid good four seconds before replying in a cheeky tone.

“okay. turn around.”

your panting stops and instantly, you turn your head the other way—of course, no one was there. figures, the only things your eyes were met with was the wooden headboard. with a disappointed grimace, pulling your occupied fingers out of your cunt, you turn back around. as you’re about to speak into the phone again, you open your mouth before pausing.

there, you’re met face first with what appears to be some guy in an infamous ghostface costume. he was tall, staggering inches on him before you don’t see one but two. they both had the same getup, ghoulish ghost mask, a long black robe, and the same spectral, tilting head-stance.

one of them takes off a mask and it’s suguru geto, your roommate.

your eyes concisely widen. once he yanks off the mask, his silky well-kept black strands fly loose. no wonder the voice sounded a tad bit familiar. the other removes his mask and it was nanami, two of them—now you really felt like you were in a movie. “you always did say how much you liked scream,” and then you glance at nanami who had a sheepish expression. “don’t be shy now, someone’s gotta help ya finish.”

“o-oh,” you remember, sitting up against the bed. now you were embarrassed. just a few seconds ago, you were getting off to your roommate’s voice. suddenly, you felt even more hot. you did end up talking their ear off about your adoration for the beloved franchise, ranting about your cute little ghostface obsession.

truth be told though, you didn’t know they’d make it a sheer reality for you. the two of them get on the bed towards you before nanami brings a gloved hand to your chin. he strokes your chin softly, and geto moves underneath.

“sorry princess,” he whispers. “suguru wanted to scare you but i told him we should just show ourselves,” and as he’s speaking, you get lost in his soft, honeydew eyes. such gentle compared to geto who was a bit more—crazed. “he didn’t scare you too bad, did he?”

you moan once you feel geto run a thumb against your already exposed cunt. with a firm head shake, you huff. “no, n-not really.”

“aw what. i thought i was pretty scary,” and you whimper out once he blows against your folds. for a concise moment, geto stares up at you—dark eyes keeping a strong gaze on you. “tell us what you want, pretty girl. you want us to help you finish?”

you nod, feeling geto spread your legs apart further.

nanami, with a gloved hand purses your lips together, forming them into a tight squeeze before humming. “words, princess. use them, okay?”

the more you feel geto’s breath fan against your clit, teasing you—you were about to go feral. you stare up at nanami before letting off a sweet whine. “i- i want you both to help me finish,” you stutter out, stumbling over your pathetic words like you’d stumble with an untied shoe. “make me cum, please kento.”

he leans in to kiss your forehead and you hear geto scoff underneath. “i’m the one between your legs but whatever,” and you feel his soft lips kiss against your pussy. “kento, keep her distracted for me, will ya?”

“you’re so pretty,” he mutters, lightly lifting up your chin. as he wore black gloves—the fabric gently brushes against your lip, popping a thumb into your mouth. he doesn’t expect for you to happily take it in his mouth, sucking on it. “oh,” he breathes, a bit speechless. you stare into nanami’s eyes, swirling your tongue around his thumb in such an erotic way. lowly hooded eyes stare at him the entire time, you moan once you feel the flatness of geto’s tongue run against your sweet clitoral hood. his tongue—the texture of it was so cold, the moment he digs in he makes you know the pure definition of sloppy. all with his tongue, he slowly flicks it against your nub before delving his tongue deeper between your soddened folds. nanami pulls your chin to face him again before softly purring, “don’t look at him, look at me pretty girl.”

as your eyes focus back towards nanami, you could already feel your legs quavering. you felt hot, the lewd way geto drags his tongue against your pussy makes you gasp out three strained second puffs of air.

“k-kento,” you moan, pawing your hands at the low part of his robe. he watches, lowering his head at you before you reach there. nanami’s bulge, he has an abashed expression as he realizes what you were fondling at. “take it off.”

“ah, ask nicely,” he coos. your lips were now glossed with your own spit he smears against you as he pulls his gloved thumb out of your mouth. even though nanami was more tame than geto, his voice had a bit more dominance in it. he grabs your chin gently, cocking his head toward the side. “tell me what you want ‘n i’ll give it to you.”

your legs felt like they were standing on its last few hinges—geto’s tongue runs down your slit, taking a moment to depart his lips and spit on it, only to then lap it up again. a few annoyed grunts escape out of him partially due to his long strands of hair getting in the way. “so sweet,” he mutters, you whimper once he prods two fingers against your outer entrance. every few seconds he’d kiss near your thighs, leaving a few bite bite marks before focusing back towards your folds. “mhm.”

barely even able to keep focus, you gaze back up at nanami who’s standing near the edge of the bed—you’re laid back against the pillows with geto between your thighs. finally, a sweet mewl of words leave your glazed lips. “i- i wanna taste, ‘ken. wanna suck you off,” and he gives you a playful eyebrow raise, prying his pink lips open a few inches apart before you correct yourself. “pretty please.”

“better,” he murmurs, a hand of his reaching towards your head to give it a good pat. “good girl. go ahead, lift it up ‘n enjoy the meal.”

with a soft slackened sigh, you lift up the obsidian black robe. you’re met with ripped jeans, for some reason you just figured he’d already be sprung out for you. as geto’s still lapping up every drop of your taste, you unzip his fly before yanking down his pants. you were so impatient— and with geto’s demented pace, you were getting close. he chuckles, watching you struggle with the zipper for a bit before finally reaching near his boxers. they were a cerulean blueish color, his bulge was just appetizing. the entire shape of it, you felt yourself starting to drool the longer your eyes made direct contact against it. so rounded and full. with clammy hands, you tug them down before his thick cock springs out.

“it’s okay,” he whispers with a nod, watching you glance up him—a silent gesture as a way of asking if you could go further. nanami brings a hand towards the crown of your head, gingerly massaging his fingers through the crevices of your scalp. “you can be a little messy for me.”

a wretched whine that was raw rips from your throat once you feel geto’s tongue latch against your cunt. by now, he was sucking against your folds. the squelches were so sloppy, a hand of yours grab onto his hair for leverage and he shoots you a sly smile.

“don’t be shy girl, yank on it.”

dark pooled irises linger into yours for a long time before you get a good grip of geto’s hair, dragging him closer towards your entrance. over and over and over.

he giggles, hot breath ghosting against your folds and you throb even more. with dilated irises staring back towards nanami, you wrap your free hand around his length—he was so thick, such full balls that you just wanted to run your tongue all across it. he had a few veins skim down his beige, weighty cock. you could make out a few drops of lustrous pre-cum that decorates near his very tip. “u-ugh,” he shakes, the warmth that your tongue provides has him smothering his lips together. nanami watches, you’re slow but deadly.

pursing your lips together, you gradually start to sink him into your mouth.

geto’s still between your thighs, shoving two fingers in and out of you now—he surrounds your clit with his mouth, the suction he creates with just his lips was brutal. you’re moaning, even whilst your noises were pretty much muffled due to nanami’s fat cock. “easy,” he whispers, tapping a thumb against your cheek. “no teeth, okay? you’re doing s-so good.”

nanami groans, goading the same thumb against your cheek before you inch yourself further and further down. he has a shy smile at the way your hair forms in musses due to his tight grip. within no time, your throat’s already stuffed and few droplets of your own saliva trickles down the sides of your mouth. geto’s still making sure to thrust his gloved digits in and out of your soaked cunt and you don’t know which roommate to focus on.

“m-mphm,” was all you could manage out, your legs in a swift spread-eagle position. as you’re outstretched, you feel yourself about to cum. you’d recognize that feeling anywhere—the feeling when a swelling pool of heat residing inside your stomach tickles throughout your entire abdomen. that same feeling of nirvana courses through your veins as you’re now leisurely bobbing your head. every time you pull on geto’s long hair, he grunts—spanking your clit in response and that only causes you to whine for more. nanami strokes your face as he starts to feel his dick prod against the roof of your mouth. for a split second as you’re breathing through each nostril—you gag, long lashes fluttering in sync together.

your legs couldn’t hold still, geto’s continuously pushing you towards your limit before you whimper out. your tongue lathers over the splotches of pre-cum that paints nanami’s tip a pretty shade of snowy white.

he just couldn’t keep his eyes off of you, especially not with a face like that.

low eyes, sheepish smile, furrowed eyebrows. you’re convulsing profusely all in geto’s mouth, the sides of your thighs occasionally hitting against his face and he titters. “such a sloppy m-mouth,” nanami inhales deeply, and he starts to gently drag your head against his cock. he’s got your mouth filled with so many inches—your cheeks were all puffed up from his immense length, sheeny slobber emanating all down the sides of your mouth before he pants. “gonna make such a mess ‘n your mouth, princess. ‘s that what you want?”

you nod, feeling the vein that runs down his girthy cock twitch in your mouth. you moan, he’s feeling weightless—you’ve got his knees trembling, a hand’s still attached to your head like velcro before gyrating your tongue all over the crownhead of his shaft. “such a pretty face,” he gruffs lowly, swiftly pulling your hair side to side to take every inch. “s-shame i gotta ruin it a little.”

even nanami’s dirty talk was tame— it was cute to witness, the way his blond brows would tug into a furrow. he’s so pent up, and out of nowhere—you feel a sudden rush erupt within your cunt. before you could even react, you end up cumming hard. it shoots out of you like a rough wave, it’s such pure bliss that it takes you a few seconds to realize. geto’s making out with your pussy, slowly sliding his two protected fingers in and out of your sopping wet entrance and you shudder. “what a fuckin’ mess,” he hums, taking sight at how saturated you were. as geto laps his tongue against your folds once more, he stares back up at you and nanami. “aw. look at you two,” and he leans down to kiss your forehead. “slobbin’ everywhere, messy girl you are.”

your eyes go back up towards nanami, he’s sweating.

he felt as if the fabric of his robe stuck against his skin. while he’s holding it up with one hand, you sneak a stare at his abs, perfect washboard abs that looked quintessentially sculpted against his body. “g-gonna cum,” and he stares at geto, growing a bit flustered once all attention’s on him. “suguru, don’t just stand there. p…praise her.”

geto scoffs, kneeling beside you on the bed before moving a few strands from your face. “so bossy,” he grits before giving you your second head pat. he leans up close to your ear, grabbing the voice changer again and brings it up to his lips. “c’mon, doll. make ‘ken cum, yeah. doin’ so good for us. you’re gonna make him whine for you, heh.”

nanami’s legs felt like mush, he throws his head back, his long black robe syncing with his movements before he’s gently pulling your head against his thick cock. he shudders, welts of twinges close in on the undersides of his thighs before he finally finishes. it builds up gradually before you find him pouring into your mouth with a nice amount of parching hot cum. it’s hot, a good mass of satiny ropes coat the flat middle part of your tongue and you moan. “f-fuuuck,” he heaves through heavy lungs, it’s still trickling, you savor the taste. it’s bitterly sweet. he pulls out of your mouth before letting off a tremulous sigh. “good girl, f-fuck.”

“aw. don’t hog her, give me attention too,” geto sneers, softly grabbing you by the neck, making you face him. with his right hand, he squeezes your lips together with a rigid grip. “ah, don’t swallow yet. c’mere.”

with half-lidded eyes, you do—leaning into his touch before geto plants his warm lips onto yours. you’re caught by surprise for the umpteenth time today, prying your mouth open for him and he lolls his tongue down your throat. you let off a whine, feeling his gloved hands rub against every inch of your body. immediately, he tastes the candied flavor of nanami’s cum and it makes him groan. he didn’t even bat an eye—you return the kiss, feeling geto’s hand slither further down towards your ass. he caresses it, giving it a mean spank to make you moan out in ecstasy.

after a while, he pulls away, humming at nanami. “ken ken, don’t be so shy. you want a taste too?”

“yeah,” he mutters, needy eyes staring at your lips that were lubricated with your own sheeny spit. “can i?”

you nod, and he’s so gentle with you. a hand nimbly wraps around your throat before he brings you into a deeper kiss. geto’s still for his hands on you, strumming his fingers near your pulled to the side panties. you let off a soft pant, feeling the spiral of nanami’s tongue go against yours. he tastes sweet — savory even, his flavor was purely mouthwatering. a thumb drags down the passageway of your throat before he pulls away. it’s slow, a polished concoction of saliva departs from each mouth and you whimper. you were throbbing, desperate for more and they both knew that. if this— whatever this was was some sort of movie, you never wanted it to end. you never wanted the credits to roll because you felt like you were floating on cloud nine.

with the two of them, you were stretched in every way possible. if you could compare who was bigger, actually you couldn’t. throughout multiple positions, you felt as if you were gonna snap in half. they had you so stupid. pink tongue rolled out, full lungs of oxygen departing out such hot breaths of air, you were the definition of stupid.

cockdrunk at its finest. each orgasm that got ruthlessly snatched out of you had your head spinning, heart racing entirely.

you felt like something was creeping up behind your shoulder, chills. whenever you’d coax out yet another teeth-shattering orgasm, all you felt was stone cold chills. time after time, it felt like pure bliss—you thought you were in a whole new world, barely even able to move your thighs an inch. being sandwiched between the two of them, perhaps you were a little greedy but you just couldn’t get enough. geto’s degrading you whilst nanami’s whispering sweet pleasures into your ear, you’ve never felt more soaked.

you didn’t wanna stop—

currently, you’re straddling nanami. he’s got two rough hands gripping your waist, intaking every inch of your pretty physique. his stare sends you butterflies, his shaft was underneath you and only then pulls out. with a cute, “phew,” he swipes a sheet of sweat that expands across his forehead. you rode him so good that he couldn’t even figure out what to say. he was so flustered, tips of his ears a reddish hot before he watches geto creep behind you. “think she wants more, suguru.”

“bet she does,” he whispers, bringing a few sweet kisses near the inner corners of your neck.

you’re promptly sat up straight. the brief sounds of booming speakers roar from downstairs as you wrap your arms around nanami. geto licks near your collarbone before purring seductively. “say, doll. how ‘bout you try to take us both? would ya like that?” and with a gloved hand he gives your ass a squeeze. “wanna be the final girl ‘n prove your worth? our final girl?”

without an inkling of hesitation—you nod, mewling out a sweet, “yes, yes jus’ hurry up, sugu. ‘m still c…close.”

“so wet, so impatient,” he whispers once more, and with two hands he makes you sit up from nanami. you gulp—swallowing whatever sanity you had left, preparing to be quite literally double stuffed with your roommates. you aren’t so sure why, but the fact that they both still had on their ghoulish costumes made you pulsate a bit more. geto’s helping you slide back down onto nanami’s length before slowly making his way into you also. “god, you’re so hot in here. gonna fuckin’ swallow me whole.”

you moan, everything goes so slow—your cunt was a ticking time bomb. you clamp down on each before slumping into nanami’s chest. you’re met with kind eyes, he strokes your forehead before kissing the bridge of your nose, panting in a hushed voice. “eyes on me, princess. just relax.”

you wriggle a bit at the positioning—being on nanami’s lap, geto directly behind you, you’re quite literally being filled in every orifice by thick inches of cock. nanami’s words were soothing, filling up your tummy with a pool of fluttering butterflies. you keep your eyes on him, clenching down on geto a bit before you hear him hiss in response. “ugh. doll open up for me a little m-more, yeah.”

his voice was deepened heavily—you let off a cute gasp once they’re both finally in and a few shaky breaths exit past your lips. “hold my hand, i got you,” nanami coos, and that’s when geto starts to rock. he had more control between the two of you, the grip on your hips was firm and you let off a sweet babble. each individual entrance was stuffed, you swallow the invisible lump in your throat as you start to feel the sweltering friction of your thighs slap against nanami. “you’re so pretty like this,” and he kisses the temple of your cheek.

every kiss presented from nanami makes your heart race—being sandwiched between nanami and geto, you really did feel like the main character.

your lip tremors, grinding back and forth between each of them, you feel geto wrap his thick fingers around your neck.

whilst you’re still straddling nanami—you moan again and again, feeling a free hand of geto’s spank your ass. the stretch that you continuously felt had your mouth watering. you heard the harmonic pap pap pap’s until it rang throughout your ears. “fuck, ya like being stuffed don’t you, pretty girl? feel full enough?” geto rasps, pressing his body right up against you. you felt his hot temperature go against your skin. making you feel every amount of his heat. your brain’s swelling up with fog. giving him an inert nod, you hear him click his tongue. “didn’t say to nod your head, doll. i wanna hear that sweet voice.”

whenever geto lowers his voice a bit, you feel the abrupt tension arise between your legs. leaning against nanami, you whine out a, “hngh y-yesss, ‘m so full, sugu. want more, stuff me more.”

“let me stuff your mouth too then.”

and before you could come up with a reply, geto removes his glove—shoving your mouth with two fat digits. he grunts, watching as you’re so compliant with your throat being filled with his fingers. nanami stares at the entire scene in front of him, his dick idly twitching inside of you. your tongue runs down his fingers before your own spit starts to seep down the corners of your lips. it was messy—you were messy. your hips jitter and judder and you knew with having both holes stuffed you weren’t gonna last that much longer. it was probably the dozenth orgasm your pussy’s been introduced with and you could feel the creeping pleasure brew up inside your abdomen.

“suguru, ‘m gonna cum.” nanami groans, bringing his own hands to wrap around your waist. you lessen your tense from his touch before gagging a bit from the prodding of geto’s fingers way back into your throat. “she’s s-squeezing me so good.”

geto snickers, making eye contact with nanami. “are you? ‘ken, you’re more whinier than usual today.”

“shut up.” he grumbles, slapping a hand over his face in embarrassment — nanami wasn’t so known to be all flustered and abashed, but whenever he was, it was so cute.

you’ve still got a mouthful of geto’s fingers before he pulls them out only to shove them into his own mouth. he hums, sharp hips snapping into you repeatedly as his other free hand tightens its secured grasp around your hip. “mhm,” he groans, feeling himself reaching his peak also. “you taste like a final girl. so sweet like candy.”

with the piston of geto’s vigorous hips, you’re so loose that you feel the fleeting sensation of your cunt gaping.

its cavernous, you jerk forward against nanami before seconds later — geto groans, abruptly finishing two seconds early. even his moans were pretty, he tugs his fingers out of your mouth to wrap them around your neck. strands of black hair glue to his forehead and he puffs out a single breath. licking a stripe near your neck, he feels thick volumes of his cum ooze into your hole. it’s so sticky, you bring your hips to a slowing halt before nanami shoots inside you too.

“f-fuck, sugu,” nanami grunts, feeling his thighs stick underneath you. he was panting heavily, each breath that ran from his lips sounding more and more wearied. “damn, so m-much.”

everything spurts into you at once. they mirror each other inside of you perfectly. callused stubby fingertips of geto’s squeeze your neck softly, watching as you’re just being filled with bulky strings of cum, it floods your cunt until it drizzles further into your womb. you’re drooling, it feels so hot, sweltering hot. it sticks against your entrance before your arms wrap around nanami. “so f-full,” you whimper, and he returns the gesture by brushing his thumb against your waist. droopy eyes hang low before nanami pulls you into another deep kiss. you decided—this was far better than some dumb party. the cottony fabric of the ghostface robe pricks against your skin as you lean into his heinous touch.

you shift your weight against nanami’s lap, feeling geto pull out before he leans down between your legs. “spread your legs,” he mutters, and in the midst of your tongue roaming down nanami’s throat, you part your thighs—gasping once you feel geto’s own tongue lap against the freshly created mess. he makes little tiny licks, tasting the ropes of crisp cum that’s sloppily easing out of every entrance—you pulsate before he chortles, warm breath ventilating against your sobbing pussy. “so messy. don’t want any spillin’ out. gotta push it back in.”

you’re moaning, after a while you break away from nanami’s lips before he strokes your cheek lovingly, a cute drowsy look before he huffs, “did you hear me, pretty?” and he gently pokes your cheek. “you always do this..”

confusion hits you before your eyes suddenly open—you jolt up, both of your roommates beside you, gawking at you with a look of deadpan. you’re leaning against geto, the third movie of scream playing in the background—it was near the ending where the killer was being revealed. you sit up, staring down at your legs and you were fully clothed—there was no geto eating between your legs, no being stuffed with nanami, nothing.

“hellooo, earth to roomie,” geto waves his hand in your face, you stare at him before furrowing your brows. “you okay? you fell asleep on me again. what’s got ya so spooked? looks like ya seen a ghost.”

so it was a dream?

a mere glimpse of your lewd imagination—?

you have a sudden sheepish look, running your fingers near the nape of your neck. “huh. oh, i’m fine. i thought the movie would be over by now.”

nanami rubs your back. “we still have like twenty minutes left,” and then he looks at you with a concerned look. so gentle—so tender. “are you sure you’re okay? we can watch a rom-com if you want.”

“i’m okay,” you insist, slumping your head back against geto.

that was weird, out of all the dreams you’ve had throughout your life—none of them ever felt as surreal as that one. for some reason, you were still aroused though. you were a bit out of breath and felt chills run all over your body.

abruptly, your phone rings,

“sugu, can you pass me my phone?” you sigh, trying to relax. you were pretty bummed you weren’t at that party getting stuffed with your two roommates but instead—in your generic dorm watching a scary movie.

he hands you the phone, grabbing the remote to turn it down a few notches.

once you take it, succinctly, your eyes scan across the screen—it reads that it’s from an unknown number. not really thinking much, you decide to answer, swiping the green button to answer. “um, hello?”

“hello.”

“hi,” you rub your eyes. “can i help y-”

“what’s your favorite scary movie?”

rolling your eyes, you peer at your two roommates beside you, nudging them and peeling the phone away from your ear for a moment. “very funny, suguru.”

geto gives you a look of confusion and nanami mimics the same. he shrugs, averting his eyes back toward the movie. “very funny what.”

and suddenly you’re laid back, an unbelieving expression was expressed on your face as you were left with a weird feeling. if it wasn’t them then who—

that same chill eerily creeps up your spine before you put the phone back near your ear. it’s that same low voice you heard from before, each word it speaks pitches deeper before you grow quiet at its final haunting response,

“oh baby, i’m not suguru or nanami..”

[carbondioxidewater]

The girl is yours

What happens when Shiu falls in love with Toji's gf?Randomly had that in mind, enjoy! (I love angst so much hehe <3)

Toji x fem!reader, Shiu x fem!reader

warnings: angst, mentions of killing

word count: 834

Intense, passionate, transcendental.

That's how you would describe your relationship with Toji. You two were inseparably and irrevocably in love. Anyone could see it, especially your closest friend - or could you even call him that? - Shiu Kong.

It was true, you spent a lot of time together - the three of you. He was Toji's handler after all. Whenever Toji could take you with him on a mission, he would, protecting you and showing off at the same time. How crazy he was for you.

When he couldn't, because the mission was too dangerous and he had to fully concentrate on it, he left you with Shiu. He trusted him.

Even if Shiu refused at first - not wanting to play the babysitter for Toji's girl - he didn't really have a choice, so that whenever Toji was finished killing people (or whatever was his mission), the first thing he could see was you, the first thing he could do was kiss your pretty lips - hungrily, as if it's been years since he last had them on yours. And Shiu? He eventually grew used to your presence next to him.

He grew used to it so much that it was straight up torture for him whenever you weren't at his side for once and accompanied Toji on his missions. It wasn't long before he craved you and he knew he was doomed. Not only Toji was undeniably in love with you now, you managed to evoke the same feelings in Shiu.

But no one noticed, because he swore to himself he would never act on those hidden feelings, keeping them safe and secret from the outside of his rapid beating heart.

And Toji didn't notice - not until that one time when Shiu protected you from a sudden threat not even Toji would have been quick enough for to block. And when he hugged you after, Toji could see all the longing in his melancholic eyes, his emotions pouring out into the soft embrace of his strong arms around your much more fragile body.

But Toji didn't say anything, he didn't do anything, he just glanced back at him knowingly when you found your way back to him, sliding your arm around his, and bid goodbye by a simple nod upwards.

From then on, he noticed even more the feelings Shiu harbored for you and he couldn't believe he had been so blind to all of this before. But he didn't treat him differently from then on.

Because after all, he still trusted him.

And he almost felt bad for him if it wasn't you he liked, because you were so oblivious to the slight change in his behavior whenever you were around that no one would even take the possibility of him being infatuated with you into consideration if they didn't know of it beforehand.

Toji could see the hurt in his eyes when your gaze shifted from Shiu to him after coming back from another rough day, seeing how you immediately lit up in his company - your smile filled the heart of one and simultaneously broke the one of the other.

Shiu even helped you surprising Toji oftentimes while breaking on the inside because he knew he could never have you, that this side of you will never be dedicated to him, that you'd always be Toji's girl.

But that was only half true, because one day, Toji didn't make it, one day he didn't finish his mission. And Shiu knew it, because before Toji even went on this mission, he pulled him aside and had the talk with him.

To know Toji knew of his fondness towards you for so long shocked him less than the fact that he still let you around him after this revelation.

"I'm entrusting you with her safety. Love her for the both of us, 'cause I won't be able to anymore."

Those were his last words. And he promised him he would fulfill his last wish, even though he knew Toji didn't want to leave you with every fibre of his being, he just got himself too deep into dangerous affairs.

And Toji smiled, because after all, he still trusted him. Now more than ever.

And slowly, after a lot of time, he kept his promise. If out of hurt or out of comfort, you gradually started to let Shiu in. You let him console you with his love and eventually accepted him as a partner. But there was always a glimmer in your eyes, a glimmer of sadness that still made you cry yourself to sleep some nights - after so many years. He couldn't do anything. The loss broke you.

He was your partner, but not your lover.

And he knew that you'd never be able to truly love him. Not the way you loved and keep loving Toji. He is the love of your life and will continue to be.

Now he had you, but you were still Toji's girl.

[muxshwriting]

almost (sweet music)

Bradley Bradshaw x reader

summary: a summer where you and Bradley remind Maverick of Goose and Carole || warnings: literally one swear word, mentions of pregnancy, childbirth (mentioned) || word count: 793 || masterlist

You had Bradley had met at the Hard Deck and hit it off instantly. You were charmed by his carefree attitude and charisma, and he was charmed by your kindness and your heart. Both of you had found the perfect person to spend the rest of their lives with, to be yourselves with. Bradley had never been more sure about anything in his life when he thought about marrying you. Your family loved him and, in turn, the squadron and especially Maverick, loved you.

Maverick viewed Bradley like a son, and was very particular about the girl that had captured his heart. However, the second he saw you, he was pulled in my your very soul, the pureness that was simply you. Bradley was lucky to find someone so well matched for him. There was something else, though. There were moments where Maverick would glance over to you and Bradley and see Goose and Carole staring back at him.

It began the night you and Bradley got engaged and went out to the Hard Deck to celebrate. As all good nights at the Hard Deck do, it ended with Bradley at the piano. Despite being at least eight beers in, he was rather coherent and playing a recognisable tune. Patrons and other people all joined in on the fun, crowding around the piano. You, smiling unabashedly at your man, were standing directly next to Bradley, leaning against the piano, glass in hand as you sang to whatever he was playing. Bradley had reached up, pulling you closer and down onto his lap. He kissed you passionately, laughing with you as he continued to play, choosing to stare lovingly at you instead of what notes he was hitting.

★--~-~--★

Then came your wedding, a beautifully private affair with a few friends and family members from both sides. Your vows were perfect, encapsulating your love for Bradley in a few short words. “Bradley, there are no words to fully describe how I feel about you but I will say this: I’ve never felt as much comfort as I have whenever I hear your name. It’s so bizarre to have a word that can make you feel so much in a second, and I wouldn’t trade that for the world. I love you.”

Maverick was thrown backwards to Goose, drunk on his bachelors night out, leaning against Maverick and rambling about his soon-to-be wife. “She’s like the wind beneath my wings. It’s so weird that her name makes everything feel alright whenever I hear it. God Mav, she’s perfect.”

★--~-~--★

Maverick will never forget the day that Rooster came to him with the amazing news that he would become a Great Uncle. Or a great, Great Uncle as he reminded Bradley. He had had a few beers in the back garden, talking about everything and nothing going on with life. “Gods Maverick, I’m gonna be a dad. That sounds terrifying, a good kind of terrifying but still terrifying.”

Goose had come onto base, a giddy grin plastered onto his face. “Carole’s pregnant. We’re gonna have our own little bird in the nest.” His eyes widened as he sighed. “A kid Mav, a whole entire human. That’s crazy.” He had hugged Goose, giving him his congratulations for him and Carole, wishing them the best for the future. Goose had stayed ecstatic for a week after the news, nothing could bring his mood down. “I’m gonna be a dad!”

★--~-~--★

He had gotten the call from Rooster that you’d gone into labour and that his son had been born (his son!), inviting Maverick down to the hospital to meet his great nephew. He got to hold him in his arms, a newborn baby, so small and innocent. “What did you name him?”

Rooster had smiled proudly, “Nick Bradshaw.”

From the bed you had perked up, taking your baby back when Pete handed him over. “His full name, however, is Nick Mitchell Bradshaw. We had to fit you in somewhere.” Maverick couldn’t stop the tears from springing in his eyes as he tearfully embraced Bradley.

“I’m a dad!” Goose was whisper shouting through the phone to Pete, trying not to wake his sleeping wife. “Do you want to come meet him?” Maverick was there as soon as he could be, bring in flowers for Carole and patting Goose on the back. “Uncle Maverick, meet Bradley Bradshaw.” Goose was standing there, a shit-eating grin on his face as he wiggled his eyebrows and Maverick burst out laughing, unable to hold it in.

Carole swatted at both their arms, telling them to keep it down for the baby. “Don’t make me regret his middle name.”

“His middle name?” Maverick had asked.

Her expression softened as she glanced over at the baby. “Bradley Pete Bradshaw.”

[thetempleofthemasaigoddess]

Helping Kid lose his virginity and him developing feelings for you would involve… (part 1)

Virgin!Eustass Kid x courtesan!crewmate!reader. This is part one of two.

*****

🔥 Eustass Kid has never cared about sex.

🔥 If asked, he wouldn’t be able to explain why exactly; it’s simply something he has always been indifferent towards, just like he has never had any interest in learning to play an instrument, or in devoting his life to any path other than piracy. He has never experienced the desire for a partner, whether for companionship, affection or simply desire; love is a word he doesn’t even know the meaning of, and he has always thought relationships are a waste of time and energy that might be better employed otherwise. Kid knows most of the adults in his crew have sex at least semi-regularly -whether among them, with prostitutes and one-night-stands they meet in some random city, or with the civilians of the island that serves as their base- but he never longed to do the same himself, content with his own company and the platonic closeness of his crew.   

🔥 Essentially, he doesn’t feel any need, any pulsion like the ones he has seen so many people fall prey to or let control their life. He occasionally gets erections, usually in the morning or, even more rarely, in other moments, but never in response to some particular thought or fantasy he had, or because someone he has seen has attracted his attention. Whenever that happens, he takes care of the problem in the privacy of his own cabin or whatever other closed space he can find, quickly, dispassionately, feeling a brief moment of fleeting pleasure he then dismisses to focus on whatever other task is at hand. 

🔥 Kid has never cared about his looks, but he knows no one would ever describe his face as handsome, and that he looks more menacing than attractive, which is something he’s quite proud of; he usually only needs to glare at anyone whose presence annoys him for them to scuttle away. He is a strong, infamous pirate, the captain of a powerful crew; who cares if his ugly mug looks like something out of a nightmare, and children start to cry if they only meet his gaze? Piracy is no beauty contest after all, and a pretty face has never protected anyone from being caught by the Marines or vanquished by a rival crew.

🔥 Surprisingly, people do find him attractive occasionally. Kid knows there are people who are attracted to pirates the way others are to celebrities, maybe for some sort of fascination with danger and power. A few times some tavern wenches have flirted with him, and one, no doubt inebriated to the point it had dampened her survival instinct, even pushed him against a wall and kissed him - to which Kid, after a moment of stupefaction, reacted grabbing the woman’s throat tight enough to almost crush her windpipe. “Touch me again and I’ll snap your neck.” he warned before letting her go, and the woman literally ran out of the room. The episode, ten whole seconds of it, disgusted him in a way Kid couldn’t fully explain; if kissing felt like this, he reasoned, he much preferred focusing on piracy and battle rather than romance, thank you very much. 

🔥 So here he is, twenty-one years old, still a virgin, with less experience in matters of sex and romance than many preadolescents. He has never reflected that his situation might be unusual or something to be embarrassed about, especially for a pirate and a captain at that, until one night Kid meets with a few other pirate captains in a bar. The men are more acquaintances than friends or allies, but they and their crews are powerful enough to have earned Kid’s grudging respect - a rare honour indeed; they are all several years or even decades older. The beer flows freely, and after a while the discussion shifts from maps and treasures and those blasted Marines, to a dramatically different topic - conquests, the amorous kind. The captains boast about the number of their past partners, their prowess as lovers, even the age they lost their virginity at. The longer the discussion goes on, the more outlandish the stories become: one swears to have seduced a Marine admiral, another to have slept with three siblings at the same time… there’s even a captain who boasts to have fucked his way out of Impel Down.

🔥 Completely uninterested, Kid nurses his beer, thoughts focused on a map he had hoped to obtain from another of the captains; he is about to pull the man aside, when suddenly the others realise he hasn’t said a word in almost an hour. “What about you, Kid? Someone on your crew warming your bed?” “Do you have a girl or a guy waiting for you on your island?” “What sort of person do you like?” they ask, with a curiosity Kid finds completely uncalled for. He shrugs and, blissfully unaware of the shitpile his sincerity will cause, answers truthfully: that he doesn’t have a lover, he never had one, and honestly he has never cared about sex and relationships and all that crap. 

🔥 The others stare as if he had claimed to be Gold Roger reincarnated; silence has fallen in the usually noisy bar. “Are you saying… that you are a virgin?” “Yeah, why?” Kid asks, still in the dark… and then the whole table -the whole room, it seems- erupts in a loud, choral laugh - not about a joke that has been just said, but about him. “I can’t believe it! Are you serious? You’ve never been with anyone?! What a laugh!” “What’s wrong, Kid? You can’t get it up? At your age?” “I never pegged you as the shy type!” 

🔥 Kid is so flabbergasted it takes him a moment to realise what is happening. They are making fun of him -something no one in the world has ever dared since he was maybe twelve, and still scrawny for his age- laughing at his perceived weakness and inability to attract a mate. At first he tries to explain that his virginity is a deliberate choice -he is simply not interested in having a lover, preferring to focus his time and energy on piracy and the annihilation of his enemies, he could find someone to sleep with if he wished to- but the others don’t listen, and keep laughing, and laughing; other pirates and even civilian clients of the bar approach, and are told the story, and join in the mocking.

🔥 Kid’s temples are pulsating; part of him is still unbelieving this is really happening. The other men are also powerful pirate captains, but don’t they know who he is, and what he is wont to do to anyone who disrespects him? He killed his first man when he was only fourteen! He vanquished a ten-ship fleet because the commander had expressed doubts -out loud, unfortunately for him- that a man as young as him actually deserved his high bounty! How dare those bastards make fun of him, and call his-his masculinity in question? He could have sex if he wanted to, all the sex he wants! 

🔥 The laughs continue, unheeding of his awkward attempts to explain, and Kid feels like he’s floundering, at the mercy of waves he can’t swim through. What’s worse is that he can feel himself blushing -it’s not his fault! He’s a redhead, for God’s sake, he blushes easily! It’s not like he’s embarrassed…!- unable to retaliate in kind against the teasing he’s receiving. “What’s wrong, Kid? Are you still waiting for your true love?” the men joke “Or do you go soft before you get to put it in?” “Come on, guys, the poor boy is simply too shy, leave him be…”

🔥 In the end Kid uses his fists to shut them up; a brawl erupts, and Kid holds his own against half a dozen opponents. In the end the other captains shut up and promise to never broach the subject again, but he can see they are still thinking about it, smiling amused as soon as they think he can’t see them. “You know, Kid, if you need us to… introduce you to someone, we’d be happy to help. There’s nothing shameful about being shy, especially at your age.” one of them offers kindly, which only serves to deepen the humiliation Kid is feeling. “I am not shy! And I don’t need any help from you bastards!” he says, and leaves the bar without having discussed the map he was so interested in. 

🔥 What was meant to be a relaxing, even pleasant night of drink and talk ended up being the most humiliating experience of his life; Kid knocked around those bastards who laughed about him and called him shy -he! Shy!- but it didn’t make him feel better, since he knows they will continue making fun of him in his absence, and even spread the word among other crews. Eustass Kid is still a virgin, can you believe it? Poor boy probably doesn’t even know how to talk to someone he likes, let alone bring them to his bed… This is what they will say, and this disgraceful reputation will follow him wherever he goes. 

🔥 Part of the fault is his, Kid has to admit; what was he thinking, discussing such a private matter, and openly acknowledging his own shortcoming, with others outside his crew? Even he, who never gave a shit about sex, should have known the others would mock him for it. Unfortunately it’s too late to take back his words; on the other hand, he reflects as he stomps across the harbour in the direction of his ship, almost wishing someone would try and pick a fight so that he can blow off some steam beating them to a pulp, there is another way to make up for his mistake, and regain the respect of his peers…

🔥 “So yeah, I need to have sex; at least once, just to know what all the fuss is about and prove to the others I am not a failure or unable to-to perform.” he says the next day as he and Killer are together in the captain’s cabin. They have spent an hour discussing the ship’s course, the provisions to buy to restock the pantry, the need to appropriately castigate a rival crew that has started throwing their weight around on an island part of the Kid Pirates’ territories and other serious matters, but the first mate could see the captain’s mind was elsewhere. He has asked him, and Kid promptly emptied the tank about the way the other captains had made fun of his virginity. “The problem is, who with? I don’t want to just go to some brothel and pay a few hundred berry to the first prostitute available. Any dipshit can do that; it has to count, you know?” 

🔥 Killer nods slowly, his expression vaguely amused behind his mask. “You know there’s nothing shameful about being a virgin; and it’s not like you to care about what others think.” he points out, and Kid grunts in reticent agreement. The truth is, he is pretty confident in his strength and in that of his crew, which are at least on par with those of the most famous pirates in the world; but this sex thing is different. In this, he is shamefully at a disadvantage, completely in the dark regarding a topic most men his age know well. This is what frustrates him: for a man so proud of his reputation, being belittled and ridiculed about something he objectively lacks in respect to others is absolutely unbearable. He needs to regain his honor, which means losing his virginity in a way that he can boast about to the other captains, who will then respect him again as one of them. 

🔥 But how? The truth is, there is no one he is even vaguely interested in, not to mention that he doesn’t want the wrong sort of gossip to spread over the Sea, should he not… perform well on his first time. It is humiliating to even just consider the option, and Kid is not usually a man who doubts his abilities, but even he knows a person’s sexual debut can be awkward and less than perfect, especially when their theoretical knowledge is lacking at best as in his case, and he doesn’t want the other captains to learn that he underperformed. Whoever his first partner will be, he needs to make sure they will keep their mouth shut…

🔥 Killer has listened to Kid without commenting for a while. “Maybe there’s another possibility.” he offers in the end “You could ask (name).”, and at those words Kid actually stops mid-rant, and reflects.

🔥 (name). In other words, you.

🔥 The idea is reasonable, for more than one reason. First of all, since you are a member of his crew, a person whose loyalty he has already had the chance to appreciate, Kid is confident you will keep the matter to yourself if asked, in order not to have the whole crew gossip about his sex life and previous state of tardive virginity. Also, he suddenly realises, you are the only person he knows for whom sex has been not only a personal matter, but a professional one as well. 

🔥 After reflecting on it for a while, Kid decides to follow Killer’s advice and discuss the matter with you; he arranges for you to be on guard duty on the bridge that night, so that you’ll be alone, and then approaches, resting his back against the ship’s side as he meets your eyes, arms to his chest. “You were a prostitute once, right?” he asks, bluntly as is his wont. If you are surprised your captain chose the middle of the night for a chat, and by the topic he chose to address, you don’t let it on. “The correct term is courtesan, not prostitute, but I guess the essence is the same.” you concede, not at all bothered or upset “I worked in a pleasure house for several years.” “And… were you good?” “Let’s put it this way: do you remember your first bounty, captain? That, at the peak of my career, would have been enough to pay for a night in my bed. Just a night, for a… standard service.” you explain, and Kid can’t help feeling impressed.

🔥 “Why did you leave it, if you were so successful?” he asks, and you explain that you were actually forced to leave, after killing a client who had tried taking from you more than you were willing to give - and not pay for it. Unfortunately, the man was a relative of the city’s lord, so you had to run in order not to be put to death; you were travelling to another, far away country, planning on finding another pleasure house to work in, until the day you found yourself caught up in a bar brawl. 

🔥 Kid doesn’t need to be reminded of that part of the story; he and his crew were at that very bar, and then suddenly a group of pirates had assaulted a single, apparently inoffensive woman, who then proceeded to beat the crap out of half a dozen opponents, all on her own, barely breaking a sweat. Kid recruited you on the spot, and you have been part of the crew ever since. “May I ask why the sudden interest, captain?” you politely inquire, and Kid sighs, privately admitting you have a right to ask, and feeling uncomfortable nonetheless. 

🔥 “You can’t tell anyone, alright? No one in the world, neither within this crew nor outside. I am not joking, (name); if you blab about this to anyone, I’ll kill you with my bare hands.” “I won’t tell anyone, captain; you have my word. So… what did you want to talk about?” you ask, and Kid is suddenly grateful the night is pitch black, no trace of stars above you, because the darkness hides the furious blush on his face. Stammering a bit, for maybe the first time in his life, he tells you about his problem, and no amount of darkness could conceal the astonishment on your expression; you stare at him, flabbergasted, until Kid brusquely orders you to close your mouth. “I’m sorry, I… I am just surprised. I never thought you would be interested… and you want me for your first time? Captain, I… I don’t know what to say. I am very flattered…”

🔥 That last word makes an alarm bell sound in Kid’s mind; and it is his impression, or suddenly you are blushing as well?  “Don’t start getting ideas, alright? This is not… it’s nothing personal; I’m asking you because this is a business you know, having done it before, and I can trust you’ll keep your mouth shut. We’ll do it, I’ll pay you what you want, and never speak of it again.” he says, feeling, for some reason, the need to make things clear “And… you can say no, if you want. I know I’m your captain and all, but… in this, you are free to refuse, no repercussions. It’s a business deal, nothing more.”

🔥 A moment of stillness follows, the gentle murmuring of the waves surrounding you. “I see.” you answer, your voice devoid of any emotion “Well, this is a part of my life I thought I was done with, but I guess there would be nothing wrong with it. And I agree it’s better if we keep it secret, especially from the crew. So, uhm, shall I come to your cabin?”

🔥 Kid hadn’t expected you to propose you immediately get to work, even though, he has to admit, it makes sense not to waste time. A surge of panic, akin to nothing he has ever felt in battle, against the strongest enemies or when it seemed his chance of survival were almost nil, fills him; he is not ready! He needs some time to… well, to prepare. Kid knows sex is not a mission one needs to plan in advance, or an exam for which to study, but he is not walking into this without having taken some time to decide what to do. Consequently, he tells you it’s better to wait for the ship to reach its next destination: you’ll meet in an inn in whatever town you harbour at, so that none of your crewmates suspects what you are up to. You nod, admitting his alternative makes sense. “Then… I’ll wait for you to tell me when and where, shall I? I will do my best for it to be good for you, captain.”

🔥 Kid mumbles that it’s fine, he doesn’t need it to be memorable as long as he knows how it feels, and no one else can make fun of him anymore. He lingers in front of you for a moment more, before realising he should let you return to your duties. “‘night.” “Goodnight, captain; I’ll see you soon.” you say, and there’s no particular feeling in your voice, no hidden meaning in that simple promise, but Kid feels the need to close the conversation as soon as possible. He grunts, turns, and quickly walks away, not needing to look behind him to know you are still staring at his retreating form. 

🔥 All things considered, Kid reflects once he has returned to the privacy of his cabin, it went well; you didn’t make fun of the fact a man his age is still a virgin -not that he feared you would; even his closest crewmembers know disrespecting the captain is the easiest way to be beaten to a pulp and then thrown overboard, and moreover, you simply are not that type of person- you accepted his proposal, and you decided when and how meet. The navigator told him it will take a couple of days to reach the next island, so he has all the time to - to psychologically prepare for his task; he knows you will keep your mouth shut, and he doesn’t feel like he has something to prove, but he doesn’t want you to think he doesn’t even know how sex works.

🔥 Because he does. Of course he knows, he’s a pirate for God’s sake! And yes, he’s never done it before, but shouldn’t sex be something people simply know how to do, instinctively? How difficult can it be?

🔥 He should feel relieved that the first part of his mission was successful, and he is. On the other hand, Kid spends the next two days prey of a rising, mounting anxiety, counting the days and then the hours separating him from the moment the two of you will meet to suit the action to the word. He’s even more irascible than usual, so much that the others start wondering whether their captain is worried or angry about something; Killer, who has been informed of his and your plans, sighs and points out it’s not fair of Kid to take his frustration out on the crew. “You know, it will probably be pleasant, very much so if (name) is as… talented as she claims to be; why don't you just relax?” his first mate and partner proposes, and he’s right, Kid has to admit, but the advice doesn’t make him feel better: his planned meeting with you attracts and scares him at the same time, something he can’t wait to experience and, at the same time, he has to stop himself from cancelling.

🔥 During those two days, every time his path meets yours, you simply smile and say “Hello, captain.” the way you always had, which is good, because the last thing Kid wants is for the rest of the crew to perceive some weird tension or secret between the two of you. At the same time he is sure, sure enough to swear his life on it, there’s something different in the way you look at him, or in how at times you touch his arm to attract his attention -something that has never bothered him before- that wasn’t there before; an intention, an unsaid promise, as if your hand had gotten warmer against his skin, or your eyes communicated a message without the need for words. Kid does his best to act normally, with the others and especially in your presence, but he not always can; specifically, at times, when he sees you walk briskly across the deck, or sitting at a table in the mess hall as you play cards with the others, he has started wondering how your body looks under your clothes.

🔥 Finally, the ship drops anchor at the harbour of a large town. Kid wanders around on his own for a while, finds the perfect spot -a small, out-of-the-way inn on the outskirts, the sort of place where no one pays too much attention to the other guests and their business- and rents a room for the night. “Make sure it’s clean.” he adds menacingly, for some reason he doesn’t really know himself, and the innkeeper assures him it will be done. Kid returns to the ship, discreetly reaches the cabin you share with the other women and slips a piece of paper under your pillow, with the time and place for your appointment. From now on, changing his mind and forgetting the whole thing will be impossible; Kid sighs, and then steers himself for what is to come.

🔥 “You know, you should take a bath; no woman wants to touch a man who is covered in grime and smells like a dumpster.” Killer, who seems to find the whole matter highly amusing, suggests later, and Kid mumbles that he doesn’t smell, and in any case he is not going on a date with his girlfriend, he has no intention to doll up to impress you, since you have seen him bleeding and sweating a thousand times already, but he does take a bath, and changes his clothes. “Have fun!” Killer wishes him, and Kid groans, already fed up.

🔥 He leaves for the inn with plenty of time to spare, preferring to arrive at the room first and then get settled, but mid-way he stops at a bar and drinks, trying not to think about why he’s doing it. Liquid courage, they call it; Kid always thought he had plenty of it, but today he stands corrected. By the time he finally reaches the room he’s still early, and he does feel a little better; he opens the door… and freezes.

🔥 “Hello.” you murmur, smiling at him. You are lying on the bed, the sheet pulled up to your shoulders but thin enough Kid can easily see you are naked under it, and the shape of your body; you came early too, no doubt because you wanted to surprise him -or who knows, maybe because you couldn’t wait for what you are about to do…- and unforeseen circumstances are something Kid usually dislikes, but this time… this time he can’t help feeling happy, even thrilled, as he looks at you, now sitting on the bed, as you invite him to approach with your hand. “Why don’t we get a little more comfortable? You can take your clothes off, if you want. Shall I… help you?”

🔥 Kid has suddenly realised he is not ready to have you touch him. “I can do it by myself.” he mumbles as he starts taking his coat off, and a couple minutes later he’s naked save for his briefs. He slowly walks to the bed, sits by your side, and feels himself blushing as he notices the appreciative look you are casting him, shamelessly focused on the bulge under his navel. He is hard, seriously hard, for the first time in his life due to something real rather than some vague desire or involuntary blood flow; he wants you, he realises with a shiver, he really and deeply does… and he can’t wait to see what you have in store for him.

🔥 “You are very handsome, you know.” “Don’t be daft, not even my mother has ever called my ugly mug handsome.” Kid defends himself, suddenly nervous; the only compliments he has ever been paid regard his strength and ferocity, or his high bounty, but this feels different - more personal, more intimate, and he doesn’t know how to react. It does feel good, in a way, but at the same time, he can’t help feeling weak for it… “You must think I’m an idiot, still a virgin at my age.” “Not at all; one can be too young, but never too old for sex.” you reassure him “I was a little surprised to know this was to be your first time, but I guess you have always been more interested in piracy and in becoming stronger than in finding a partner, haven’t you? So… how would you like to do this? We can talk for a while, if you want, or we could discuss what you’d like to do and prefer to avoid; nothing you tell me will leave this room, you have my word.”

🔥 Kid knows he can trust you, and discussing boundaries and preferences does seem reasonable. Nevertheless, the last thing he feels like doing is chatting; from his position by your side, he can see the shape of your breast under the sheet, your erect nipples visible through the fabric, and the view is making him almost unable to swallow. What is happening to him, all of a sudden? This feels weird; his whole body is reacting to your presence, and you haven’t even touched each other yet. His rationality is slipping, the same impulses he so often deprecated in others taking over; he is no longer in control, of the events and of himself, and the thought is terrifying and humiliating, but he can’t help letting himself go…

🔥 “Kid? Is everything alright?” “Yeah, sure. I was just thinking…” Kid hesitates for a moment more; his ideas regarding sex are vague at best, but even he knows what the best way of starting is… “We can… I mean, is it alright if we k-kiss? You can still say no, you know.” he makes clear. As you discussed already this is just business, not a relationship or any other thing involving feelings, but he’s determined not to do anything that would make you uncomfortable. Kid doubts you have liked every person who has paid to have sex with you, but this is different - he is different, or at least he plans on being. He waits, almost holding your breath, and sees you smile happily. “I thought you’d never ask.”

🔥 Kissing it’s weird. Weird and awkward, at first, like being forced in a dance he doesn’t know the steps of, his mouth and yours meeting again and again, and he instinctively tries too hard until you whisper “Ssh, it’s fine, take your time.” and he wants to answer but he can’t, because no matter how strange it does feel good, no, it feels amazing, and he’s already breathing hard as he feels your lips, silk-soft and warm, caress his. A moment later you slip your tongue in his mouth and Kid groans, a loud, uncontrolled sound expressing an emotion he thought himself unable to experience: lust.

🔥 He kisses you back, finally finding the rhythm as his tongue meets yours, and when he feels you moan his large, powerful body shivers; his heart is pounding, hot blood running in his veins, and his mind is filled with lurid images he can’t wait to turn into reality. The kiss lasts until you are both gasping for breath. Kid has closed his eyes without realising, and when he opens them, he sees you smile, looking like the cat who got the cream. “So? How was it, captain?” you ask licking your lips, and Kid groans in response before kissing you again .

🔥 You kiss some more, and Kid is already sure he’ll never get enough of it until the sheet covering you slips away, you move to straddle him, and suddenly he’s holding your naked body in his arms. Kid has never been this close to a woman, and he gulps, having blushed again. You smile, and “It’s alright; you can look at me, and touch me, if you want.” you say gently, and he wonders if perceiving what he was too embarrassed to ask for is an ability you have acquired during your past as a pr- as a courtesan or it’s due to the years you have spent as crewmates, but he doesn’t ask, too busy as he is drinking avidly in the view offered to his eyes. The mere sight of your breasts is enough to make his mouth water, and then his eyes slip downwards, towards your core, and Kid forgets how to breathe. 

🔥 He is hesitant as he starts touching you, despite your explicit consent afraid he might hurt you or doing something unpleasant; nobody better than him knows how strong you are, so it’s not like he’s going to kill you just squeezing you a little too harshly, but he’s terrified you might change your mind. Once more, you seem to understand why he’s hesitating, because a moment later you have taken his large, strong hands in yours, and are guiding them in exploring his skin and flesh. “Touch me.” you murmur; you are being kind and patient in your role as teacher and helper, but even Kid in his ignorance can see you are sincerely enjoying what you are living together; you want him, you really do, your desire intense enough for your eyes to burn with it “Fuck… Kid, touch me please, I need to feel you…”

🔥 You rarely swear, which fills Kid with a sort of pride he had never experienced before. He grins to himself as he shapes your body under his hands, like a sculptor moulding clay, and your skin, warm and smooth, is the most beautiful thing he has ever touched, including the scars and half-healed wounds memento of some past battle; he lowers his face to kiss them, and he kisses your breast, deliciously soft under his tongue, and you moan, holding his head in your hands. “Oh, God, Kid…” you cry, pronouncing both names with the same worshipful intention “Oh, yes, darling, don’t stop…” 

🔥 Darling. No one had ever called him that, unless it happened when he was very young, but he likes it, he likes it very much, so much that kissing is no longer enough. He is harder than ever before, painfully constricted in his black briefs, and no matter how deliciously pleasant -how sweet; God, is this the first time he describes something as such, even in the privacy of his thoughts?- it is to feel your skin under his mouth, he wants more…

🔥 This time, rather than stopping what the two of you are doing to ask, Kid decides to act; he wraps his arm around your waist to pull you closer, and he hears you moan, your hips moving as you begin rubbing yourself against his turgor. “Oh, God…” “Feels good?” Kid asks, just to hear you say it rather than because he has reason to doubt, and grins when he sees you nod, and whisper that yes, it feels so good, and you can’t wait to see him and feel him inside you, and well, few would describe Eustass Kid as a generous man, but this time at least he il willing to satisfy your request. 

🔥 The desire roaring in his stomach notwithstanding, Kid feels himself grow tense once a new kiss has pushed him on his back, and he feels your fingertips brush against his waistline. He wants you to touch him, he does so much it’s driving him crazy, and he also knows you are not going to hurt him, but he can’t help it, because no one has ever known him so genuinely, beyond the infamous reputation and the power and the danger. He has completely lowered his defenses for you, letting you see him as intimately as no one has ever done before, and the thought is terrifying and exhilarating at the same time.  

🔥 You meet his gaze, and after Kid nods in assent you delicately free him from his briefs, exposing his hard cock, proudly erect. “Fuck. It’s so beautiful…” “Is… is it?” “Of course it is, Kid; it’s beautiful, big and strong, exactly as you are.” you assure him, and for a moment Kid can’t help wondering whether you’ve seen better, and bigger, during your years at the pleasure house, but that incertitude lasts only for a moment, because you are now sitting on his lap, slowly pumping his shaft before impaling yourself on it, and Kid can’t help but stare as your body swallows his, the friction eliciting a pain he is forced to bite his lip not to express, but it feels good, it feels better than anything he has ever thought could exist, good enough he might lose his mind for it. He grabs your hips as you begin moving above him, the room filled with the lurid sound of your flesh slapping against his. “Don’t stop.” he growls, and you nod, your face an image of pleasure and lust that takes his breath away.

🔥 He wakes up with a start soon after dawn, for a moment confused about his whereabouts, and then disappointment fills him as he realises the other half of the bed is empty; Kid quickly dresses himself and returns to the ship. 

🔥 “So? How did it go?” Killer discreetly asks when captain and first mate meet on the bridge; Kid grunts in reply, unwilling to share the events of last night, even with his most trusted crewmate. “It went alright; we did what we had to.” he succinctly says before walking away. He spends the day taking care of various tasks, not fully sure of what he feels. On one side, he’s satisfied the matter is closed, he is no longer a virgin and doesn’t need to worry to be mocked again by the other captains again; on the other, he can’t help feeling unsatisfied, not by your rapport itself, which was all that he had hoped for and then some, rather by the fact that it will not happen again. 

🔥 Or will it?

🔥 You and Kid stay clear of each other during the day, both of you making sure the rest of the crew has no reason to suspect something unusual has happened between you. But it has, it definitely has, and Kid can’t believe until twenty-four hours ago he thought a single time would be enough, and he wouldn’t leave that bed you had shared wanting for more. And he does, he does so much it feels it gnawing at him, and he feels himself growling every time he sees one of your crewmates platonically patting your back or touching your hands with theirs as you form a chain to carry parcels on board. He has no right to ask more of you, not when your initial arrangement implicitly stated you would only have sex once, but he can’t help it. Last night’s memories -the silky softness of your skin; the warmth of your kisses; the lovely sound of your voice moaning his name in a never-ending litany… how tight you felt around his cock…- keep filling his mind every time he catches a glimpse of you on the bridge or as you have lunch with the others in the mess hall, and he’s quite sure no man has ever died for lack of sex, but he can’t deny this is exactly what he feels like…

🔥 Duties on the ship are rigorously divided and scheduled, but Kid has Killer task you with arranging the supplies bought that day in the ship’s small storage room, after dinner; the first mate complies, even though “You know.” he points out gently “You can simply go to her and talk, without the need for subterfuge.”. Kid privately agrees, but he prefers not to risk being seen or heard by others; later, once the rest of the crew has gone to bed except for the men keeping watch on the bridge, he meets you in the storage room, as you neatly arrange the parcels’ content on the shelves. You don’t seem surprised to see him. “I knew you would come see me. Is… is everything alright? I’m sorry if it wasn’t as good as you hoped, the first time can be a bit awkward…” Kid shakes his head, mumbling that had he something to complain, he would have done it already. He wishes he could ask if it was good for you as well, if he was able to give you pleasure despite his lack of experience, but he’s too proud to. 

🔥 “I haven’t paid you yet.” he points out, and you shake your head gently before answering that you could never accept any payment from him, since what you did was a favour to a crewmate rather than a job, and in any case… “In any case what?” “Well, I must admit I… I had forgotten how sweet it could feel; I don’t know whether it was because we knew each other or because you are an extremely handsome man, but… well, I think last night was one of the best of my life. I really mean it.”

🔥 So you did like it! And, as incredible as it sounds, you find him attractive! Emboldened, Kid takes your hand to pull you to him, holding you close enough to feel your body shiver at the contact. “What do you say we repeat the experience then?” he asks, and he sees you beam. “I was hoping you’d ask.” You walk to Kid’s cabin together, and “We need to be very quiet, lest the others…” you begin, and then Kid is kissing you before the door closes behind you; clothes start falling to the floor, and Kid slips his hand to cup your core, eliciting a moan his mouth is quick to swallow. “This time I want to stay on top.” Kid murmurs in your ear, and you hurry to nod, an adoring smile in your eyes. “Everything you want.” you murmur, pressing yourself against his body, already rock-hard “Do whatever you want to me, captain, I promise I won’t say no.”

🔥 It’s a sort of promise few men would be able to resist, and Kid doesn’t even try; he manages to control himself just long enough to have your body naked in front of him, then he picks you up to carry you to his bed, your mouth quickly finding his in a new, hungry kiss. It’s still awkward between the two of you, since it’s only his second time and last night he let you take the reins, but Kid has been waiting for this since he woke up in the morning without you by his side, and perhaps is the fact that he’s taking you in his bed, or that you told him explicitly he was able to give you pleasure despite that being his first time, but your lovemaking is for Kid ever more intense than what you shared last night. You do need to be quiet, since the last thing he wants is for the rest of the crew to know what you are up to, but for Kid hearing you whisper and moan his name in his ear is more than enough; seeing the naked, unadulterated pleasure in your eyes as he moves inside you and waves of pleasure rock both of your bodies, makes his head spin.

🔥 He’s careful in penetrating you, even after you’ve assured him you’re more than ready and you’ll tell him if you want to stop; he hasn’t forgotten you’ve been with other men already -a thought that keeps making him angry, even though he couldn’t explain why- but when he feels his cock entering you as if you were made for it, made for him, it’s hard not to delude himself into thinking no one has ever pleasured you like he’s doing. “You’re beautiful.” he grunts, and he’s not sure who’s more surprised to hear him utter those words, you or himself. Beauty is something Kid has had scarce opportunity to appreciate, or to care about in his life, but as he looks at your naked body sprawled on his bed, your skin bathed in the soft moonlight filtering through the window, he knows you are beautiful, and he, like the avid and greedy man he’s always been, wants you to himself.

🔥 You end up having sex twice, barely catching your breath in the middle; in the end you’re both exhausted, but Kid feels amazing, sated and proud of himself for the pleasure he’s seen reflected in your eyes. “May I stay for a while? I can tell the others I was busy in the storage room.” you ask, uncertain but hopeful, and Kid, who hadn’t even considered the possibility of you leaving, nods and holds you against his body. He doesn’t complain when you start playing with his hair, and grins to himself when you tell him you have always admired it, its bright colour and how it compliments his skin tone. You enjoy a few more minutes together, holding and touching each other, before you need to leave; lying on his back, Kid observes as you quickly, silently retrieve your clothes, and then kiss him one last time. “You know, I could always put you down for another shift in the storage room tomorrow night.” he proposes, and you smile at him. “As I said, captain, whatever you might decide is fine by me.” you say “More than fine, in fact.”

🔥 That’s how it starts between the two of you. From then on, you visit Kid in his cabin almost every night; you can never stay too long, since your cabinmates -not one, not two, but five of them- would notice your prolonged absence, but you make those brief rendez-vous count to the last second. When you enter, Kid is always there waiting for you, often naked already to save time, and invariably hard. “Took you a while!” he says, even though you are almost always on time or even early, and before you have time to react he’s taken you in his arms and is kissing you passionately. 

🔥 Sometimes, when your lovemaking has ended but you still have some time before you need to go, you talk - really talk. You have spoken a million times before, having been part of the same crew for years, but since you are quieter than most, a perfectly companionable person but used to keep her private life to herself, Kid had never realised how little he knew about you, and about your life before you joined his crew. So, night after night, as the two of you lie together side by side, your hand moving up and down his body -”You have such a nice physique, you know? I have been enjoying the view, captain, whenever you couldn’t notice.”- or him enjoying the sensual feeling of your breasts pressing against his side, you share your past, confiding in Kid like you have never done with anyone else.

🔥 “My younger sister and I ran away when we were barely a couple of kids, to escape the hell our life at home had become after our mother had died. We lived on the street for a while until a pleasure house’s madam saw me as we panhandled and offered me a place to live in exchange for work. I accepted; my sister was hired as a maid for the house, even though I wished she would let me rent a room for her somewhere else, and so we were able to get by. As I said, I made good money; I planned to put aside enough to buy a house for the two of us, or to work until my looks allowed me to attract clients, until a client decided the fact that he paid for my company gave him the right to use me as he wished, despite my protestations. I didn’t mean to kill him, I was only trying to defend myself, but he forced my hand… and then I was forced to leave, in order not to cause trouble for the other courtesans. My sister still lives in that town; I send her part of my wage every month, but she has a good job, and got married two years ago.” you explain, your cheek resting on Kid’s chest. 

🔥 “You did good killing that bastard.” he comments. “Thank you; and to think, he wasn’t even the client who hurt me the worst.” you say with a sigh. “Why?” Kid asks, curious despite himself, but you shake your head decisively. “That’s a story for another time. So…” you add with a smile, letting your hand slip downward, past his chiseled abs and the patch of red hair on his abdomen “Since we still have a little time, what about we check how long you can resist before I make you come with my mouth?”

🔥 Kid has found heaven between your thighs, your tight, warm pussy taking him every time with a delicious friction that makes him forget his own name, but what he likes the most is having you go down on him. Given the fact you’re still much more experienced than him -even though, he’s pleased to recognise, he’s improving by the day- he enjoys being in control, which usually means sitting on the edge of the bed with you kneeling between his thighs, his hard cock filling your warm, soft mouth, your head moving up and down as you use your lips, your tongue and even -cautiously- your teeth to give him pleasure. To have you focus on his needs rather than your own feels exhilarating; he hasn’t found the One Piece, but in those moments he feels like a King already.

🔥 At times, to be fair, you do give in to your own needs, and as you service him, running your tongue up and down his shaft, Kid can see you slip a hand between your legs to relieve the pressure. Sometimes he pretends he didn’t see, or at least that he doesn’t mind seeing you taking care of something other than him, but Kid has never been known for his generosity, and so it is that most of the times he grabs your wrists and orders you to focus on what you are doing, and on him, with the unspoken promise he will reward you as soon as you’re done and he’s had a moment to catch his breath. He never goes back on his promise.

[neyafromfrance95]

my thoughts on haladriel in ep8:

they chickened out a bit bc they 100% wanted to convey that sauron loves galadriel and she is the only light in his life, the light that he in fact worships, but it was maybe too subtle, too subtextual. and if this ending meant that galadriel suddenly fully overcame her darkness, well, that'd be a very rushed, weak development.

let me explain why i believe they wanted to show sauron's feelings for galadriel bordering love and obsession:

during the fight, sauron says that not all of it was an illusion. the expression on his face as he says it is genuine and melancholic. his longing is clear. and right after he says it, we see him as halbrand repeating that he felt connection with her, meaning that it was the truth.

he looks hopeful when he says that her door is still open to him and loses it when she tells him it's shut. now i don't think that it's actually shut yet as he talks to her through their mind connection as he asks for the ring (whether her fall meant shutting the door is going to be answered in s3).

"the door is still open" also suggests that his proposal is still active, and the hopeful, almost desperate look on his face as he says it, tells us a lot. it also recontextualizes what "the door" means in their relationship.

he plays with her, showing her illusions of her dark self, reminding her how alike they are. illusion!celebrimbor's line "are they not the seeds you've planted" proves that it was him who sent her those visions in the beginning. again, guilt-bonding her to himself.

"i would have placed a crown upon your head. i would never have rested until all middle-earth had been brought to its knees, to worship the light of its queen." he is earnest when he says it, and then there is this feral predatory look of want. it shows how he covets whatever he sees in her. i really loved the wording of "worship the light of its queen" as the shippers have been describing his coveting as the "worship of the light".

AGAIN, HE WANTS TO BRING ALL MIDDLE-EARTH TO ITS KNEES TO WORSHIP GALADRIEL, THEIR QUEEN EQUAL TO SAURON, AS HE WORSHIPS HER LIGHT HIMSELF. this part is essential in understanding sauron's feelings for galadriel and it's straight out of our fanons.

after she jumps, he loses it again and takes it out on his poor subordinate orc. rip. we can see him standing there and looking down while breathing heavily for longer than necessary.

yeah, he wounds her with the crown. but we don't know what he would have done with her had she given him the ring. honestly, if it was anyone else, they'd be dead the moment he saw nenya + the nine. the chickening out element plays in the way his intentions are vague, as he clearly doesn't want to hurt her and wants her to willingly give in, but ofc the evil sauron can't be too gray, he has to be dark dark.

subtextually, nenya is galadriel, him being transfixed with nenya tells us of his obsession with galadriel's light. i love when the stories employ subtext to say what the text can't eloquently, but in this case, they're employing it bc they got no guts.

his whole demeanor with her is completely different from how he presents himself with others. he plays with her as a predator with its pray, but he is being honest and raw. his anger is personal and the hints of delight when he greets her for the fist time - sincere.

the fight itself was as hot as it was violent. sorry not sorry. true dead dove enemies enjoyers still won. i stand by my opinion that this fight scene is the hottest thing in this show. when he pins her and pierces her with that crown, penetrating her flesh, and keeps pushing in as he tells her he wanted her as his queen to worship with a soft expression painted over his face, and then he looks at her as if he wants to violently devour her, eat her whole? yeah. that was er0tic.

i honestly am not sure where they will go with this. will the audience demand for more haladriel influence s3? it depends on whether the door is still open, and i think it is, and maybe sauron is going to get even more obsessed with possessing nenya(=galadriel)? i'm more worried that they will give in to the incelbro demand of watering galadriel down and simplifying her. so i hope her struggle with the darkness is not over yet. it felt like it was but if sauron starts to break into her mind more frequently, then it might not be the case. the fact that galadriel stops attacking him when he transforms into halbrand also indicates that she loves halbrand, and maybe will always love him no matter how she feels about sauron.

[turcott3]

wrapped around your finger

luca fantilli x fem! reader (ft. umich hockey team and gfs!!)

warnings?: cursing, alcohol, unprotected sex (p in v, public sex, spanking, choking (not really but kinda?), hair pulling, happy ending🥳

masterlist

-

“are yall ready yet?” rutger yells from the foyer.

“yes one second.” you yell back, deciding against the extra setting spray. it wasn’t hot outside, it’s not like you were going to sweat it off.

“we gotta go, i want a good view.” luca says grabbing his keys out of the bowl and heading outside. you opted to ride with luca since the group had to split but you always found yourself gravitating to him. the two of you had never spent time alone together but you always had a slight attachment to him, better described as a little bitty crush.

“have you looked at the set list yet?” he asked you, who got lucky and sat shotgun. the group was going to see post malone, and everyone was excited to go and get sloshed.

“i haven’t, i’ll check now.” you simply state opening spotify and reading it out to him.

“fuck this is gonna be so good.” he says, excitement lining his tone.

“does this venue id?” tyler asks from the backseat.

“no.” you answer quickly.

“may i ask how you know this?” luca giggles.

“i’ve been before, got absolutely hammered.” you say, reminiscing the last concert you attended.

“sweet, tj you’re off the hook,” he says patting the ginger on the back.

“thank god. they would’ve thought i was a fucking alcoholic buying all of those drinks.” he says, relief practically oozing out of him. you pulled into the venue closely behind your friends in the other car.

“everyone got their shit?” rutger asks and everyone replies ‘yes’ before shutting his trunk and locking the car. you made your way inside the venue, quickly finding a place to sit with a decent view of the stage. you loved that this tour was all outdoor shows considering the temperature in michigan in the summer was perfect. you laid your towel out and sat down, luca sitting his towel right next to yours.

“you’re gonna be my designated concert buddy?” you ask laughing at the position he sat in.

“sure am, we never really spend any time together so i figured this was a perfect opportunity.” he smiles and you giggle in response, keeping your cheeks from turning too red.

“drinks for the lot of ya!” jacob yells in a tacky british accent, approaching the group with tj, multiple beers and seltzers for everyone in hand.

“a seltzer for you of course.” luca says, handing you one of the drinks he grabbed.

“you just know my drinking habits so well don’t you.”

“we’ve been to parties together and how many times have i held your hair while you threw up?”

“it was twice luca.”

“and? i still did it.” he says and you roll your eyes, a smile spreading in your cheeks. it didn’t take too long for the openers to begin their set. you had never heard of them so you talked through it. you spoke with a couple of the guys and their girlfriends, luca talking to adam on the phone, sipping his beer. you couldn’t help but notice that he chose to sit with you, but you didn’t want to overanalyze. you drank and drank some more, without even realizing it. you were already somewhat drunk by the time the openers were finished, which wasn’t your intention.

“hey y/n.” luca asks nudging you.

“huh?”

“are you already drunk?”

“yep sure am, you?”

“a little buzz, nothing too crazy yet.”

“i am fully prepared to be absolutely fucked tonight.“ you reply, his expression becoming more difficult to read.

-

when post malone’s set finally began, you cracked a tall boy open, shot gunning it as well as you could. when you sucked the can dry you threw it on the ground out of breath, almost instantly feeling more drunk than before.

“luca.” you said, your words dragging out in a slur.

“what is it?” he asks, shoving his phone back in his pocket, his eyes reading drunk. you step closer to the boy, wrapping your arm around his back, singing whatever song was playing. you felt him do the same, his hand resting just above your ass on your hip.

the two of you sang together loudly and obnoxiously.

“can i try that?” you ask about the beer he held.

“yeah here.” he says, watching you intensely as you took a large sip.

“that is disgusting.” you reply, wiping your face with your hand as he chuckles. you leaned your head on his shoulder as you listened to the loud music. once the song ended you looked at yourself in the snapchat camera, makeup still in place just as you hoped. you couldn’t tell if the alcohol was clouding your judgment but you were feeling things. all the touching and flirting that had gone on over the last hour had your mind spinning.

“fuck i need a bathroom. luca come with me, i don’t wanna get kidnapped.” you say with a glimmer in your eye. a smirk grows on the boys face.

“okay, hey guys i’m taking her to the bathroom.” he yells at the group before you drag him off by his wrist.

“what’s got you in a hurry, we’ll still be able to hear it.” he giggles, jogging after you. you find a single stall, family restroom unoccupied. you open the door and pull the brunette inside with you.

“ive been wanting to get you alone all night.” you admit.

“i can’t say i haven’t felt the same way.” he replies, slurring his words. you two were both plastered but you know what they say about drunk words. in an instant, the boy pushes you by your biceps against the cold cinderblock wall, attaching your lips hastily and sloppily. your hands find their way into his hair, gripping at the strands as he swipes his tongue over your lip begging for entry. you swear hours pass by before he backs away.

“you look so fucking sexy tonight y/n.” he smirks as you two find your way to the sink.

“fuck you make me so horny.” you mutter, squeezing your thighs together as he picks you up and places you on the counter. your short skirt gave him easy access to your throbbing core, running fingers over your soaked panties and sucking them clean.

“god you taste so good.” he smirks, reconnecting your lips again, giving you a taste for yourself. he pulls away with hazy eyes, squatting down quickly and pulling your panties to the side.

“oh my fucking god.” you yell at the contact. his tongue twisted your already swollen bud in circles, sucking and rubbing it in a rhythmic fashion.

“fuck.” you say, gripping onto the boys hair as you finished, quicker than you could’ve imagined. he stands back up, his face soaked in your cum.

“you’re fucking incredible.” he says and you grab him by his shirt, which you unbuttoned hastily after you aggressively reattached your lips. he helped you finish the job as he pulled away, unbuttoning his denim shorts and pulling his throbbing cock out as quickly as he could. you stared at his tip as it leaked with precum and the pure size of him. he rubbed himself harder with a few strokes before looking back up at you.

“fuck me luca. please.” you beg and he instantly caves, pushing himself into you, his hands pressed against the mirror as he pushed into you for the first time. you moaned at the sensation. his tip hit the sweet spot buried deep inside you without even trying.

“god.” you moan out and he grunts. he thrusts into you deep and hard as he pounds into you at a decent speed. your moans snapping a high pitch after the first few thrusts. the music was quickly drowned out by the sounds of your yelps in a bathroom with poor acoustics.

“such a good girl taking me like this.” he smirks at you.

“you feel so good, god lu.” you say, your fingers gripping the hair on the back of his head.

“do you think anyone can hear me?” you ask.

“i fucking hope so.” he smirks, sloppily landing his lips back on yours as he stretches you out with every thrust.

“get down and bend over for me pretty girl.” he simply requests and you do so, resting your stomach on the edge of the counter. he pushes your skirt up further.

“look at that ass, god damn.” he says spanking you once before placing a gentle hand on your, now bright red, ass cheek pushing himself back into you. he grabs onto your hips pulling you onto him as he thrusts. your eyes roll into the back of your head with overstimulation, your sweaty hand slapping onto the mirror for better stability. he pounds into you at an unforgiving speed, wanting to get a good climax out of it. he wraps his hand around your hair, pulling you up flush against his chest as he continues his quick thrusts into you, turning you from moaning to practically yelling. gently he wrapped a hand around your throat as you looked in the mirror at the two of you. your mascara now smeared around your eyes, his cheeks red and forehead dotted with beads of sweat from the steamed bathroom.

“look at you, taking me so fucking good huh?” he asks, making eye contact with you in the mirror. he bucks into you sharply, a yelp leaving your mouth in an instant. carefully, he picks you back up, placing you on the counter. you could tell by the speed that he was getting closer, but the fact of the matter was that you were even closer. he pushes back into you easily sliding back in, a sensation you could never get used to. the way he hit your sweet spot was almost more intoxicating than all the alcohol you drank that lead you to this moment.

“fuck luca, i’m gonna come.” you moan, your nails digging harshly into his back, your speech broken up by his spastic and deep thrusts. moments later, you feel your body relax as a knot came undone in your abdomen. he fucked you right through your high into his own climax. spilling his seed deep inside you. he pressed his forehead to your chest as the two of you sat, gasping for air for a few moments. he runs his fingers through the salty mix of your climaxes between your legs attempting to somewhat clean you up, his drunk mind not thinking about the toilet paper that sat on the back of the toilet 2 feet away from you. you grab his hand and suck his fingers clean, surprising him and showing him that you swallowed every drop of the nasty mixture.

“fucking god y/n you’re gorgeous, let me help you down.” he says, tucking himself back in his pants, lending his hands for you to hop off the counter. you pull your panties back over your sensitive core, and tug your skirt down.

“lu, can you help me fix my makeup.” you whine, referring to the black streaks that formed around your eyes.

“yes baby, hold still.” he says, your heart fluttering at the pet name. he licks he thumb, gently wiping away the mess from around your eyes.

“how does that look?” he asks as you turn around.

“good enough.” you giggle turning back around.

“luca your hair. i’m sorry.” you giggle as he smiles, wrapping his strong arms around you.

“i don’t care about my hair.” he says as you press your cheek to the warm skin of his chest.

“we should go back.” you say patting him on the chest.

“yeah they’re probably getting suspicious by now.” he giggles, taking your hand and unlocking the door, seeing a long line outside the bathroom. the two of you chuckle as you jog past the impatient people in line, back to your spot on the lawn.

“you missed like 6 songs, where the fuck were you gu- oh.” rutger started before getting a good look at you two.

“what?” you ask.

“oh nothing.” he giggles, whispering to his girlfriend who he stood next to.

“girl where did you go?” franks girlfriend asks, tugging you away from luca’s side.

“i had to uh-“ you start and then turn around to see luca dapping up his teammates, clearly spilling what had gone on in the bathroom, “we fucked.”

“in the bathroom?” jacob’s girlfriend says interrupting.

“yeah we did.” you smirk.

“well was it at least good?” frank’s girlfriend asks.

“oh my god yes. his dick is so big, i don’t think i would wanna fuck anyone else like ever again.” you giggle with them, your drunkness seeping back into your vocabulary.

“you guys would be cute, i see the vision.” she says stepping back and looking at both of you.

“i think we would be too, not to be vain or anything.” you joke.

“go for it babe, luca doesn’t fuck just to fuck. or at least that’s what jacob’s told me. he fucks to date.” she says nudging you on the arm.

“honestly i probably will go for it, let’s see how this goes, hey lu?” you call out, catching his attention instantly. he walks over, hugging you to his side.

“what’s up?” he asks, his thumb grazing over the fabric of your skirt.

“maybe you guys are right.” you laugh and he appears confused. the two of you enjoy the rest of the concert, hugging onto each other and singing your hearts out for the final few songs.

-

“everyone’s asleep.” luca giggles as you pulled back into the driveway.

“awe look at them so cute.” you reply.

“are you gonna regret what we did tonight?” he asks, his voice in a whisper.

“not in the slightest.” you say placing a hand on his cheek and connecting your lips softly for a moment.

“you have no idea how badly i wanted to hear you say that.” he smiles as you pull away slightly.

“i can’t let anyone else have that dick or that hair. or just that boy in general.” you say locking eyes with him. instead of replying he reconnects your lips once again, the kiss lingering for a what seems like an eternity. an eternity that you hoped would never come to an end.

“we should wake them up.” you whisper on his lips.

“yeah probably.” he smiles, pecking your lips one last time before waking everyone up to come inside.

-

[lonely-cowboy]

chasing rainbows

pairing: connor (rk800) x f!reader

summary: you recently learned that connor has only ever seen the world in one color. gutted at the thought of such a colorless world, you decide to help him see the beauty of the world. only he doesn't care about the world. he only cares about you.

word count: 3.6k

warnings: nothing major, but lowkey a mess bc this is my first longer-ish fic, reader is really embracing her y/n moment, connor is so ooc it's kinda insane but i love him so whatever, they're both really confused about their feelings until they're suddenly not

author's note: i'm replaying dbh as one does bc i was sad and missed connor AND I'M LITERALLY FIGHTING FOR MY LIFE THIS PLAYTHROUGH?? my first playthrough was so nice and sweet and silly so now i'm trying to get other endings BUT I'M NOT STRONG ENOUGH FOR ALL THE EMOTIONAL DAMAGE?? anyway, my solution (as always) was to write happy connor and some grumpy hank yay! yes i did spend the first 1k words talking about literal colors, ignore that

masterlist ⟡ requests

Work was never the place to do work. That was something you learned from Hank after working under him for years.

Sitting at your desk that was situated across from Hank and Connor, you decided to ignore your terminal and the case report it displayed. You’d get to it eventually. Eventually. Besides, you were confident that you would be able to finish it relatively quickly.

Instead, you were tiredly flipping through a book of color swatches. Your gaze flitted across endless pages, darting from color to color as you searched for something eye-catching. In your recent efforts to make your apartment feel more homely, you decided it was time to add an accent wall, you just needed the right color. Obviously, the precinct was the best place to be color searching.

By the time you reached the end of the swatch booklet, you had only found two colors that interested you. At least then it would be easier to make a decision. You eyed the olive and plum swatches like you would a homicide suspect, trying your best to picture them in your apartment. You pursed your lips in thought, staring at the colors for so long that you could’ve sworn you were going cross-eyed.

“Detective?” Connor called, your eyes snapping to meet his. “Are you alright?”

“Actually, no, I’m not,” you answered with an exaggerated sigh, trying to sound as hopeless as possible. “I’m having quite the dilemma.”

“Is there anything I can help you with?” he asked.

The sincerity in his voice made your heart melt. He always showed such care for you. Sometimes you wondered if it was just another part of his social programming, but somehow, you knew it wasn’t. Connor genuinely did care about you, even when it was just your inability to pick a paint color. You almost felt bad for teasing him. Almost.

“I just can’t for the life of me decide on a paint color,” you said, glancing up at him with that shit-eating grin he was unfortunate to know so well.

Connor’s pleasant smile collapsed into a disappointed frown once he realized he had succumbed to your teasing.

“Saw that coming from a mile away,” Hank grumbled.

“You can help too, Lieutenant!” you said in an excessively cheerful tone, just to annoy Hank. “It’s not like you’re doing anything important.”

“Yeah, well, fuck you, kid” Hank sighed, turning his chair to face you fully. Work was never the place to do work.

With both Connor and Hank focused on you, you slid the two color swatches across your desk. Hank leaned forward with mild interest, nodding his head to himself as he considered both choices. Connor mimicked Hank, leaning forward and furrowing his brows at the sight of the swatches.

After a long moment of deliberation, Hank finally said, “Green.”

You nodded in approval as Connor looked at Hank with what could only be described as pure confusion. He then turned back to the colors before looking at you with an unsettled expression.

“I don’t understand,” Connor murmured. “These colors are the same.”

You and Hank stared at Connor in bewilderment. Maybe you could understand it if the colors were different shades of the same color and androids just had a poor sense of color differentiation. But these swatches weren’t even remotely close in color. There was nothing similar about them at all.

You and Hank exchanged a look of confusion. Maybe this was Connor’s attempt at a joke. No, he had made jokes before, and they were genuinely funny. Especially the ones that poked fun at Hank.

“Connor,” you started. “What do you mean?”

“They’re the same,” Connor repeated with a shrug, looking between you and Hank like he didn’t understand what he was missing. And he obviously didn’t understand.

“One is olive, one is plum,” you said.

“Green and purple,” Hank offered rather unhelpfully.

Connor only shrugged again, still unable to differentiate the two.

“Does anything look different than normal?” you questioned.

“No,” Connor replied simply.

Was it possible for androids to be colorblind? The idea baffled you. The only way Connor could be colorblind was if he was programmed to be that way. Why would he be programmed to not see color?

“Can you… I don’t know… describe what things look like to you?” you asked unsurely. Was that too abstract of a thought for an android? It was already too abstract for you. “Does everything look the same color?”

Connor considered your question, eyes narrowed as he glanced around the precinct. Hank looked at you like you were crazy for wanting to get to the root of this. Maybe you were.

“I… I suppose it all appears relatively similar,” Connor said with equal uncertainty.

You frowned at that. The world must have seemed so… well, sad to Connor. You hated the thought of his world being limited to a single color. He deserved to see the world for what it really was. He deserved so much… If you could at least give him this one thing, you would be satisfied.

“Do you want to change that?” you proposed.

“I admit, I would be curious,” Connor replied.

Immediately, you jumped up from your desk chair and started putting your coat on. Connor took that as a sign to do the same, rising from his chair to stand beside you.

“Hey, hey, hey!” Hank interjected. “Where do you two think you’re going?”

“To help Connor, obviously,” you replied with a bratty eye roll.

“That has nothing to do with work, kid, sit down,” Hank retorted, preferring that the two of you stayed with him so that he didn’t have to suffer alone.

“This has everything to do with work,” you countered like the typical asshole Hank knew you as. “Don’t you realize all the ways this probably inhibits Connor’s work? I mean, picture a typical crime scene. There are probably so many details he’s missing because he can’t fucking see color!”

“Actually,” Connor remarked. “I speculate that my limited color sensory was included in an effort to keep me focused on my investigations and avoid any distractions–”

“Connor,” you intervened, turning to give him a stern look.

“Yes, Detective?”

“Shut up.”

Immediately, Connor sealed his lips shut and pressed them into a thin line. You adored it when he listened to you.

You turned your attention back to Hank, flashing that brilliant smile that told him you weren’t going to listen to a single fucking thing he said. He sighed grumpily at the sight of it, turning back to his desk with a shake of his head.

In the absence of any other objections, you grabbed Connor’s hand and led him out of the precinct. You wondered if he could see the vibrant blush that coated your cheeks at the intimate contact. You hoped not.

He did.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

“Are you sure about this?” you questioned hesitantly.

In the middle of your living room, you stood in front of Connor with his new occipital unit in hand. You held it gingerly as if the slightest touch would break it. Although it was a lot easier to purchase biocomponents than you had expected. If it were to break, you would only have to walk three or so blocks to buy a new one.

You looked at Connor worriedly while he stood patiently. You were far, far from any kind of engineer. You had absolutely zero experience when it came to replacing android biocomponents. No matter how many times Connor reassured you, you still stressed at the thought of making a mistake. He promised it was easy, but how could changing biocomponents be anywhere close to easy?

“You can do it, I promise,” Connor murmured encouragingly.

His hand came up to encircle your wrist, tugging your hand forward gently. Your cheeks heated at the contact, making you aware of just how close the two of you were. You glanced away bashfully as you were overwhelmed by butterflies. When you returned your attention to Connor, you watched in awe as the skin around his right eye peeled away, revealing the natural white plastic. Connor’s eyes flicked across your face nervously, worried that you might be disturbed. But to you, it was like seeing a new and vulnerable side to Connor, one that you very much enjoyed.

As you reached for his current occipital unit, you froze with your brows furrowed. Your apartment was far from an interesting sight. There wasn’t much to look at, your apartment still lacking a homely feeling. Damnit, you really needed that accent wall.

“Come on,” you said without explanation.

You moved to leave your apartment after gently placing the two new occipital units into your bag. Slugging it over your shoulder, you waited at the door for Connor to follow. Connor stared after you, the white plastic disappearing.

“Come on,” you repeated, gesturing for him to follow.

Connor followed without a second thought. God, it really was so endearing when he listened.

You led Connor out of your apartment building and across the street to the nearby park. You wandered aimlessly for what felt like hours, trying to find the most scenic view for Connor to enjoy as his first sight.

At last, you settled on a bench situated in front of a little pond. Tall, stooping trees crowded the pond with just enough space between their branches to see the bright sky above. You were glad to be enjoying this moment in the fall when the leaves were the perfect shades of orange.

You stood with your hands on your hips, eyeing the view with a skeptical glint. Connor would be able to see a good range of colors from here. This place would do just fine.

Pulling Connor along, you sat him down on the bench by lightly pressing on his shoulders. Once he was seated with his hands neatly placed along his thighs, you reached for the first occipital unit from your bag.

“Okay,” you said with a determined huff. “Much better view, don’t you think?”

“I don’t know, I can’t see it very well,” Connor replied cheekily.

You couldn’t help but smile at that, rolling your eyes at Connor’s teasing. This only meant he had been spending a concerning amount of time around you and Hank. When you looked back at him, you exhaled slowly, “Ready?”

Connor nodded once, revealing the white plastic of his right eye once again. Before pulling it out, you reached forward and pressed a soft hand overtop Connor’s eyes, silently reminding him to keep his eyes closed until you said otherwise. When you pulled your hand away, you were pleased to find that his eyes remained closed.

Your fingertips then pressed against the plastic of Connor’s occipital unit. It popped out easily, allowing you to pull it out slowly and with ease, just as Connor had promised. It was jarring to see him without an eye. Or rather without a whole chunk of his face. You worried you might still mess up, leaving him without half of his face.

But when you pressed the new occipital unit forward, you found that it was just as easy as pulling the old one out. It took a moment to adjust, but the new part quickly shifted to match Connor’s appearance, his freckled skin melting over it and the doe-like shape of his eyes returning. That made you sigh with relief. You just hoped they were still the same beautiful brown you found yourself constantly lost in.

You then did the same with his other eye, quietly applauding yourself for not making a single mistake.

With his occipital units in place, you rounded the bench to stand behind Connor whose eyes remained closed obediently. Standing behind him, you placed your hands over his eyes once again, a giddy smile adorning your lips.

“You ready?” you asked, unable to contain your excitement.

“I think so,” Connor said hesitantly.

“Yeah, you’re ready,” you decided.

Slowly, you pulled your hands away, studying Connor with a sweet smile. You expected him to enjoy the view in silence, looking at every single thing he possibly could. But you were surprised to find that he barely even regarded the view. Instead, he immediately turned to look at you from over his shoulder.

With a tentative hand, he reached out for your hand that rested on the bench’s back. He pulled you gently around the bench so that you stood in front of him. His hand still held your limp hand as he stood to face you. He looked down at you with a small but warm smile, eyes exploring every inch of your face.

The unexpected attention had your heart racing, a nervous heat spreading throughout your body. You clenched your jaw tightly, a jumble of confusing and unwanted emotions consuming your entirety. Not wanting to say anything stupid to ruin… whatever this moment was, you clamped your mouth shut. Your eyes couldn’t help but wander, exploring Connor’s features the same way he did yours.

Connor’s warm touch left your hand, making you frown ever so slightly. But you were immediately comforted as he placed both hands on your cheeks. His thumbs rubbed soothing circles along your cheekbones like they had a mind of their own, relaxing your clenched jaw. His eyes locked with yours, never once blinking in fear that he would miss something if he did.

You practically forgot how to speak. You forgot how to do everything. It was a hassle to recall how you were even supposed to breathe. The only thing you could do was stare at Connor with a dreamy glimmer in your eyes.

“Your eyes are really pretty,” Connor mumbled.

You swallowed timidly before speaking, “Thank you.”

“You’re…” Connor began before his LED circled red.

Your gaze flickered to his LED, watching intently as it continued to flash red. That was a poor move on your part. Having broken the intense eye contact, Connor glanced away from you, looking straight ahead and dropping his hands from your cheeks like he suddenly awoke from a trance. Focused on the horizon, Connor’s LED spiraled yellow several times before returning to its typical blue.

His sudden change in attitude only added to your confusion of emotions. You took a pained step back, eyes falling to the ground.

“I didn’t expect the leaves to be this color,” Connor commented casually.

You cleared your throat and turned your back to Connor to focus on the leaves. You didn’t want him to see your embarrassed flush, though you were sure he already did.

“They’re not always this color,” you muttered. “Only in the fall. In the warmer months, they’re green.”

You caught a glimpse of Connor tilting his head, his nose scrunched with intrigue. He tried to visualize what that would look like, but having only seen one color since his creation, he didn’t seem to understand.

“Green like… like the grass,” you clarified, pointing to an open patch of grass.

“I’d like to see that. Perhaps you can bring me back here in the spring,” Connor hummed. When you didn’t say anything, he continued. “Are there other colors to see?”

“So many more,” you answered, flashing Connor a small (and slightly awkward) smile.

Connor trailed along beside you as you strolled through the park. Still too embarrassed to look at him, you also took the opportunity to admire the beauty of the park’s striking colors. You were ignorant to the way Connor watched you contently out of the corner of his eye. Of all the wonderfully colorful sights, you were by far his favorite. You were the only thing he could look at.

“Which one is your favorite?” Connor asked as you slowed your walk, having walked the entirety of the park. “Color, I mean.”

You stopped to consider his question, looking around at the abundance of colors. They were all so beautiful in their own ways that it was difficult to choose. But then your eyes landed on Connor, and it seemed so clear.

“Blue,” you replied definitively.

You felt foolish for your choice, but you couldn’t help that there was some truth to it. Blue had always been a pleasant color, but after knowing Connor, it took on a different meaning. When Connor’s LED was blue, it indicated he was happy. Or at least satisfied. You liked to see him when he was happy. It eased your mind knowing he was content. Because of him, it was now a color you associated with joy.

Though you didn’t say anything, you looked away flustered, wondering if Connor could somehow read your mind. You wouldn’t be at all surprised if he could.

“Do you have a favorite?” you inquired quickly.

Connor pursed his lips, mimicking you as he looked around the park. His head then snapped down to look at you, eyes immediately finding yours. He cocked his head curiously the way he always did. The way that made you so weak you could barely stand.

“What color are your eyes?” Connor wondered.

Your eyes widened, eyebrows arched as if you had misheard him. But you knew you hadn’t.

The way he spoke so nonchalantly drove you insane. How could he be so casual about something like this? Did he know what he was doing to you? Was he doing it on purpose? What did any of this mean? Was there any chance at all that he could care for you the same way you did him?

“Uh…,” you mumbled, stuttering out your eye color.

Connor nodded thoughtfully at your answer, his charming eyes still latched onto yours.

“Then that’s what I would say,” said Connor. “Your eyes are my favorite.”

“Oh,” you said dumbly, clueless as to how on earth you were supposed to respond to that.

The corners of Connor’s lips quirked into an affectionate smile. He arched his brows at you like he expected something more than just oh.

Your mind was racing for anything to say. Were you just supposed to ignore Connor’s loving words that felt far too much like a subtle confession? Were you supposed to confront it head-on? Neither of those options sounded good.

“Thanks,” you whispered. “I like them too.”

As you cursed yourself endlessly for saying the stupidest fucking thing to come to mind, Connor’s grin widened. A quiet laugh escaped his lips, one that you didn’t hear through the blaring alarms screaming “why are you such an idiot?” in your head.

“That was stupid,” you groaned, deciding it was better to admit it than ignore it. “But… thank you. You… you have pretty eyes too.”

“Thank you, Detective,” Connor said cheerfully.

You moved to continue walking with Connor close at your side. Maybe you were crazy (there was always a good chance of that), but you could’ve sworn he was standing considerably closer than before. Your arm swung at your side, his arm brushing against yours in the slightest. It didn’t matter how insignificant that touch was, it meant something to you. Maybe it meant something to Connor too.

You had been walking in complete silence until Connor spoke, his words making you trip and fumble and scream and cry and scream and die a little.

“You’re pretty to look at. All of you, not just your eyes,” he said, shooting you an adorably attractive wink for emphasis.

You stopped dead in your tracks, Connor trailing ahead until he noticed you were no longer beside him. You stared at him with a far too serious expression, one that made him doubt his words. How could he be so casual about something so serious? Did he actually feel this way, or was it all a heartless prank?

“Your words are really fucking with me, Connor, you know that?” you said.

“I know,” Connor nodded with a cocky edge. God, he really was spending way too much time with you and Hank to be this snarky.. “Your heart has been racing the entire time we’ve been together.”

“So you’re purposefully torturing me?”

“I wouldn’t consider this torture. But, yes. I suppose I’ve been… holding this over you.”

“Well, stop that!”

Connor flashed you a cheeky grin as he approached you again. His hands moved to cup your reddened cheeks, warming them with his soft touch.

“You’re right, I shouldn’t do this to you,” Connor said fondly. “Not when you’ve shown me how beautiful the world is… How beautiful you are.”

“Shut up,” you grumbled, trying to hide the smile that crept along your lips.

“You’ve told me before that I’m terrible at shutting up, I don’t see why I should start now.”

You and Connor wore matching smirks as you tried to best the other, subconsciously moving closer to each other.

“Oh, so you don’t want to shut up and kiss me?” you parried.

“When did those words ever leave my mouth?”

“When did you get so cocky?”

“When I realized I could have you.”

You had nothing to say after that. No witty remark or snide comment. All you could offer was a gentle smile.

Connor leaned forward, his nose brushing against yours. He was so close that you could feel his breath– so real for an android– against your lips.

“Pretty smile too,” he murmured, his lips grazing yours.

“It’d look even prettier if you actually kissed me,” you whispered.

Connor knew he couldn’t win this battle of wits. He honorably accepted his loss, knowing it was the only way to kiss you. You beamed into his kiss, proud of yourself for being so stubborn. That was quickly lost on you when you felt the softness of Connor’s lips. You indulged in his touch, leaning forward against his chest to feel as much of him as possible.

Connor pulled away sooner than you would have liked, resting his forehead against yours. A breath of a laugh escaped his lips when he saw that desperate glint in your eyes. He pulled back to look you in the eye after pressing a loving kiss to your forehead. His thumb brushed under your eye, lost in the color he loved so dearly.

“You’ll always be my favorite sight.”

[rachalixie]

a/n: teeny little jisung comfort. <3

warnings: mention of eating trouble, mention of mental health, gn!reader

it’s the kind of day where you haven’t been able to catch your breath fully. where your brain feels kind of fuzzy around the edges in a way that you can’t fully describe. where you just don’t feel right, up until you walk through the door and collapse into jisung’s arms, distracting him from whatever game he’s been playing with felix all day. he removes his headphones, mumbling a quick goodbye to felix, and his response goes unheard when he drops them to the floor and wraps his arms around you right away. 

nothing feels right, you don’t have to say. i need you right now, you never have to voice. you’re the only comfort i have, goes understood without you having to open your mouth. all you have to do is hold onto him tighter and let out a wet sigh into his collar and he just knows. he knows you better than the back of his own hand; the number of times you’ve collapsed into him like this has trained him perfectly, just as the number of times he’s reached for you has trained you to know him just as well. 

“food or bed?” he asks, voice almost at a whisper as he runs a hand up and down your back, blunt nails trailing in swirling lines that you can feel through your sweater. he knows that sometimes when you’re like this you can’t eat, and while he’s almost sure that this is one of those times he would never take that choice away from you or assume things on your behalf. he knows you, but he knows that the person who knows you best is yourself. you tap twice on his back with your fingers, signaling that you want the latter option, and he walks you towards your shared bedroom. the walk is a little awkward with the way you’re tangled around each other, but this is such a practiced thing that you make it work. 

he settles you into the bed and presses a kiss to your forehead before whispering be right back. his absence pangs, even though he’s only a few meters away, noises from the kitchen invading your ears. he comes back with a tall glass of water sweating from the ice in it and a handful of your favorite snacks. 

“just in case you want them later, so you don’t have to get out of bed,” he explains as he places the items on the bedside table. he presses the cup of water to your lips for a moment, coaxing you into a sitting position so you don’t spill on yourself, and then the cup joins the selection of snacks. they’re little kid-sized bags that he bought specifically for you, knowing that you like to graze on snacks throughout the day rather than eating big meals. your eyes burn at his thoughtfulness; even though he’s been doing this for you for so long, every reminder of his kindness makes you that much more grateful for him. 

he settles into bed, letting you curl up around him. your breathing evens out with his until you’re breathing in sync, the rise and fall of his chest lulling you almost to sleep. 

“sing for me?” you ask, voice small as you look up at him. he looks into your eyes, the ones he could never say no to even if he wanted to, and he gives you a small smile. 

“what do you want me to sing for you, my heart?” he asks, voice rumbling from his chest right into your ear.

“you know,” you pout. asking for things was never easy, but you were so lucky to have a partner that could read your mind. 

he starts low, words softened around the edges, and by the time he gets to singing about being lonely and wanting someone to hold him you couldn’t hold back the tear that leaks into his shirt. this song is proof, he knows you. his words feel like they were pulled straight from your heart, etches of your soul spilling into every line and verse, the very essence of you in the melody escaping from his mouth. 

i’m an alien on this earth.

—

soft hours

[r3starttt]

CALL ME BY YOUR NAME | 02

fic M.list | read this or DNI

cw: mentions of masturbation

After the very boring and award familiar dinner you had, without Abby, your whole family reunited at the inside of the house.

You found yourself lying on a large couch as your cousins watches something in the huge tv, almost at full volume. Your mom was talking with your aunt about whatever, they could talk for hours.

Your dad was busy serving everyone something to drink, some small snack and having small talk with everyone making sure they felt comfortable. Paying attention and taking care of everything and everyone but you.

Until everyone suddenly remembered you existed. But you’re way too stubborn to please them so easily, besides you were already feeling your heart in your brain, palpitating loudly enough to make your whole body vibrate. Abby, without being there had caused you such discomfort.

And you weren’t in the mood for anything but sleeping. Yet attention is always welcomed because you adore people noticing you, deep inside you that’s something you crave.

You were took out of your trance by your dads voice right next to your ear, his voice cooed your name, followed by his hands on your shoulders, maybe not the best thing to do after Abby did the same thing just some hours ago. It felt like a ghost, she wasn’t there but you could feel her and see her and hear her everywhere.

“Play something” he asked, patting your shoulders before walking away, next to your mom and aunt sitting next to you on separate couches of course, to not bother you more. “non mi va” you replied, hiding your face on the palm of your hand and crossing your legs more if that was even possible as a desperate attempt to pretend you weren’t there.

“perché non ti va? mhm?” your mom asked, hearing her felt like an insult “perché non mi va” you answered again, feeling your words coming out of your mouth as bullets piercing your own skin. You’ve never experienced such a migraine. “You’re spoiling everyone’s fun”

Her words sank on you, if you could describe it, physically there was something fuzzy in your throat running down your stomach, she was right. So you stood up, walking towards the piano as your family clapped at you, sarcastically.

They made you play the piano.

-

Naturally next day you were exhausted, feeling a headache hangover and overthinking every single time you’ve spoke to Abby. Why was she so present in your mind?

You had nothing planned for today, just stay at home and wait for the day to end. And you really hoped, needed that Abby wasn’t here today.

She kept haunting you, making you feel and think and experience physical and mental pain. That’s the most accurate word, it was discomfort mixed with pain and annoyance. But also empathy because she was probably trying her best and felt the same way about you.

And she was the adult here, the one that should know what to do, where and when put the limits. She should be smarter than you, like all your mom’s students. Otherwise she would be here.

So she probably knew about you and how you were feeling, and as well knew about her and how she was feeling. And it kept bothering you how she was being so childish about this, how she didn’t let you read her mind like others did.

How here brows were always furrowed and her fat lips were naturally pouting, always looking so annoyed and serious and like she was keeping a secret. How she purposely leaned on you to grab some shit from the table every time she ate with you and your parents and how she would disappear all day after that, not making a sound whenever she arrived.

It bothered you how she ran her hands through her hair whenever it wasn’t made in a braid, how her collar looked so tentative whenever you noticed it, how she’d let her underwear everywhere in the bathroom you shared and how she’d be so normal, changing with the door or windows fully open, like you weren’t there.

It bothered you how inviting she looked and how much you craved her, how impossible she seemed to get but how easy she became whenever she’s around you. It bothered you how good it felt to stare.

It bothered you to feel something ache in between your legs and breasts whenever you saw her. And it was extremely hurtful how you could never satiate it.

Before you realized your hand was already over your cunt, making small circles above your clit, teasing yourself by the pure thought of her.

And how could you not when she looked delicious under the sun, lightening her blonde her, and the breeze, warmly making the front stands of her hair gracefully dance over her cheeks, how could you not when the sweat made her usually white blouses stick to her back, when her muscles were always fully displayed.

Three knocks, less than one second each, and the door was already opened.

Your hand moved away as fast as it could, grabbing the first thing it could catch. A book, small, you’ve never seen it before but somehow it was next to your bed. Maybe it was something you grabbed on a sleepy night where you refused to let the day end.

“Hey” “hey” your voices overlapped, she walked inside your room as you were still readjusting yourself on your bed, trying to look natural, trying to hide your chest practically trying to jump out of your body, shifting your eyes to keep them fixated in your book.

She was wearing a white tank top -a black bra under- practically transparent. And some shorts, she was planning on go swimming based on the little you’ve get to know her.

Her arms rested on the old metal footboard, and maybe it was just you but you felt like her eyes could look trough you, like she could perceive how annoying yet desired her presence was for you at this moment. “How come you’re not down with everyone else by the river?”

You, on the other hand, we’re resting on your elbows. Back almost pressed against the mattress and legs bended, knees pointing to the window in front of you and eyes moving quickly side to side on every verse in the book, trying to ignore her body, which unconsciously had you drooling some seconds ago. You hummed, thinking about an answer.

“Not feeling good t’day…have an allergy” Abby’s voice overlapped with you, purposely interrupting your lame excuse “Yeah me too, maybe we have the same one” you furrowed before realizing, confused and conflicted by her words. Why couldn’t she just ignore you?

Why was she always so smart?

“Why don’t you and I go swimming?” your hands positioned the book down, facing the mattress without closing it properly, quickly folding the edge of the sheet you were currently acting to read. Smart movement that she would hopefully notice as a non verbally response to her sudden invitation.

“Right now?” She nodded, pressing her lips together and grabbing you by the arm that wasn’t supporting your body from falling on the bed. “Do we have to go right now?” Abby sighed, annoyed by how childish you were being right now. She did notice, she knew you more than you imagine, but as the older one between you both she tried her best to make things work, and it was painfully annoying that you refused to let her do the job.

“I’ll go get changed, meet you downstairs”

-

Todays hot was bearable, relaxing even. So after fulfill her whim and swim with her you two grew exhausted of it, and probably each other’s presence as well, ending up resting each in a different way.

You, on a lounger and her on the side of the small pool the cottage had on its large garden. The only thing heard was the water running down the fountain, along the pool, and the usual chirp of birds accompanied by the trees moving.

You were falling asleep, the warmth of the sun embracing your body comfortably couldn’t cause less. And since she didn’t make any sound the moment you closed your eyes you obliviously assumed she was in your same situation. Until her voice was hear, asking for your attention by practically screaming your name. “You sleeping?” “I was”

“Listen to this drivel, tell me what y’ think” “No, wait” you quickly responded, still half asleep. As your back cracked gracefully for you, her laugh got to your ears, was she making fun of you? bothering you on purpose?

You stood up, walking towards her. Which she ignored by speaking before you even got close as you intended, to actually hear her and pay attention to whatever she planned on saying.

“For the early Greeks, Heidegger contends, this underlying hiddenness is constitutive of the way beings are, no only in relation to themselves but also in relation to other entities generally. In other words, they do construe hiddenness merely or primarily in terms of entities’ relations to human beings”

You didn’t understand nor hear any word she just mentioned, still stretching your body and sitting next to her as she spoke, placing your legs in the water and making small circles with your feet, completely amused by the way the water looked. You find it relaxing how transparent and brilliant the water looks any time for he day, how it lightens your skin, how it moves.

“Does that make any sense to you? Doesn’t make any sense to me” you shifter your eyes to look at her, her muscled arms flexed to the sides of her body, sighing as she grabbed the sheet with some force, wrinkling it’s corners. “I don’t think it makes any sense to your dad either” “Maybe it did when you wrote it”

You extender your arm to grab the sheet and take a proper look of whatever she wrote, making her put some effort on it as a small revenge of her waking you up. “That’s the kindest thing anybody has said to me in months” you grabbed the sheet, being interrupted by her voice again “kind?” a ‘yep’ brushed her lips, almost too quiet for you to hear.

Before you could read any of it, even glance at the piece of paper your hands contained, she threw herself on the pool, purposely just to get you wet again, and probably to ruin the stupid text that sheet had. Which she failed on achieving since you moved it away the moment you noticed her body rolling to the side.

-

She’d be dancing something in between 9 and 12 minutes based on how much each singed has played so far lasted. Yes, you counted.

Today was the day in the week you went out with your friends, being interrupted by Abby’s presence you ended coming to a small party in town, with her as well. Marzia was there, not letting go of you since you arrived.

Which was extremely annoying considering the fact you weren’t paying attention to her at all by how Abby’s hands were placing on a woman’s ass, non ashamed. They were adults and the place was safe, she, they, could do whatever. And if it wasn’t her then it would probably pass ignored by you. But it didn’t and it’s the most disgusting thing your eyes have seen her do so far.

Marisa’s body felt somehow heavy, and her words were like random letters being pronounced right to your ear, loud and not understandable at all.

Your friends, which where sitting next to you as Marzia was on your lap, were drunk already, making fun of Abby and the woman who had been desperate to feel her touch since Abby became the center of attention to practically everyone present.

You had a cigarette in hand, pressing your free hand on the sides of Marzia’s waist at every move Abby made. Bitting the inside of your lips and cheeks whenever the cig had to leave your mouth or replacing it by some beer.

You’d ended dancing as well when the fifth song appeared. Marzia right next to Abby who seemed unbothered by the two of you eye fucking each other right in front of her. Because as much as you craved Abby, Marzia was there first, and she’d been waiting for you longer than anyone else has waited.

You knew what she craved, and also knew you couldn’t give it to her, but there was no harm in trying your best to cheat both you and her. It’s better to try and fail than do nothing and regret.

You just had to find the courage to reach out and touch, she would say yes.

-

“I just heard from the people in Sirmione, they say they’ve come up with something so, going there today, yeah?” Your mom murmured to you during breakfast. Abby was sitting next to you so she heard as well.

Not in your plans but not something you could refuse to do, it wouldn’t take long, It never did. Marzia would be waiting for you till night, and even if it did took long then she won’t leave, if she’s been holding herself for years already, what’s some minutes more?

“Please, stay silent” your mom said, giving the first bite to her food “Silent as in ‘she has too many opinions’ or silent as in ‘just not telling anybody what amazing thing you’ve dug up’” that was Abby’s voice, vibrating in your ears as how deep and loud she was whenever she spoke to your parents.

-

You were all day outside, with both your mom and Abby. You ended up swimming till night and god how things were so perfect that day you forgot about the plans you've made with Marzia.

You didn't even bother to went and look for her later that night, if she was there she would tell you how immature you are with this, if she wasn't there then this was it.

And to be honest, after actually spending a decent evening with abby you didn't feel like going trough her shit today. Or tomorrow, or in a week until she won't mad at you anymore.

[arrowfleur]

“What was that for?”

Some more thoughts on Darlin’s love languages and Sam’s HBS. Part 2 headcanons yay!

@darlin-collins <3

Darlin feels like they are never close enough to Sam, they will be laid directly on top of him and still trying to figure out ways to get closer

Sam, although quite outwardly stoic, does not only use his ‘pretty prose’ on Darlin’ (although they get the most and the best ones). Since his turning he is so aware of how short life can be and when he truly admires something about a person he’ll let them know.

This is usually with close pack/clan and also always when he’s just on his own with the person he’s talking too. But, if the timings right, he lets out these poetic observations, usually leaving the other person speechless before he quickly changes the topic. Not always realising the (positive) weight of his compliments.

On multiple occasions Sam has used words to describe Darlin that they didn’t know. Not because they’re dumb but because some of his vocabulary is rather niche. And upon looking it up they almost always perfectly describe Darlin’ in whatever situation he was talking about.

Although not the best at giving compliments, Darlin’ does tell Sam that he’s beautiful, gorgeous etc depending on the vibe he’s giving at the time and they’re the first person to ever call him anything other than handsome or hot.

‘You’re so pretty’

‘Pretty?!?’

‘Mhmm’

‘Darlin’ I ain’t-‘

‘Especially right now, with your hair like that’

‘Alright…. Well, thank you.’

I’ve mentioned before in a head canon post that they like it when Sam runs a finger up and down the bridge of their nose. Darlin’ will also full on nuzzle into Sam when cuddling/hugging. Especially into his collarbone/neck

Although comfortable with (platonic) touch from people they know, Darlin doesn’t like it unexpectedly, nor will they usually initiate it.

Unless someone they love is upset, then they’ll be getting a hug or an arm wrapped around them without any hesitation (if that’s what they like ofc)

Sam feels like he’ll never be able to fully voice how much Darlin’ means to him, Darlin’s heart practically skips a beat when he simply calls them beautiful. (Or when he makes a joke or complains or laughs or….)

When comforting Darlin’ about something, Sam often adresses problems/reasons for their behaviour/feelings that Darlin’ hadn’t realised themselves yet. He is so careful with his wording and extremely observant of them.

Darlin’ although previously independent to a fault, realised that the best comfort they could give Sam was to let him help them. On multiple occasions Darlin’ has let him heal paper-cuts and small bruises (which is a ridiculous waste of magic in their opinion) because otherwise he’s not going to stop thinking about it.

Sam knows all of Darlin’s tells by their body language and Darlin’ know Sam’s by his tone and the amount he’s speaking for example: if he says he’s ‘fine’ then he’s not but if he says he’s ‘alright’ then he probably is

The same way Sam felt bad about not being able to give Darlin every physical action that they wanted Darlin feels bad that they can’t verbalise their feelings for him correctly.

Sam found a scrunched up love letter from Darlin’ and keeps it in his wallet. They’d wanted to write down their feelings so they wouldn’t mess it up when sharing them with him but ultimately hated the end result.

They do however leave little notes for him sometimes while he’s sleeping , since they tend to work on different schedules, that Sam also dearly treasures and keeps in a shoe box.

Sam is really good at writing professional emails and has on multiple occasions written some for Angel and Babe when they’ve had problems with their bosses

The perfect mix of polite, professional and passive aggressive

Another way Darlin’ helps Sam is by reminding him of his talents/abilities and how he uses them for so much good, they will not let that man be humble. His #1 cheerleader FR.

Even with all of this in mind both of their most comfortable ways of communicating their love is through acts of service. That way they get to keep up their grumpy outward personas that the pack/clan have long since learned to see right through.

[poisonedprose]

𝐈𝐈. 𝐈'𝐌 𝐎𝐋𝐃𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐍 𝐈 𝐀𝐌. ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 - taglist

IN WHICH, leon is giving his all and trying so hard to save your relationship after the tragic incident but you have given up all hope on everything, including yourself. you've let yourself go, pretending like your actions have zero consequences, fighting with leon in the early mornings, making up with sex, and then doing it all again. doesn't it get exhausting making the bed?

WARNINGS, ii. 1.6k, smut, angst, make up sex, pet names (angel, beautiful, babe, baby), subby!leon, dom(ish)!reader, cowgirl / riding, creampie, curse word

The bed was warm, even in your buzzed state you could tell. Leon stayed at the foot of the bed his arms crossed over his chest, watching you as you lay down, snuggling into the blankets. You looked up at him, the two of you staring at each other silently. You sigh and sit up on your knees at the edge of the bed, grabbing his belt loop. "Leon, I'm sorry, okay?" You looked up at him sweetly. Your face was still stained with dry tears and the substances in your system started to flush out thanks to your time in the bathroom.

He didn't say anything, looking down at you with a soft but annoyed look. He eyed your fingers as they played with his belt loop. "Let me make it up to you, baby." You offered. You weren't in the mood for sex but you needed to apologize and this was the only way you knew how. A sweet smile on your face was all it took to convince him, letting out a sigh and uncrossing his arms. 

The sweet smile turned into a devilish smirk. Though, it was all just a show for Leon. You pulled him closer by his belt loop. You kiss him, cupping his face with your other hand. He wraps his hands around your waist, accepting your shitty apology for a night together. Time moved slowly, almost like you were dreading having sex with Leon just as much as you were craving it.

Before you even knew it, Leon was lying on his back, head against the headboard and you were on his lap, straddling him. Your thighs on each side of him just like his were just moments ago in the bathroom. The lights were off, only the incandescent glow of the tired moon shining through the window. You looked almost heavenly as the luminesce shined on you.

Heavenly was far from what you were, that much you knew. A sinful angel. That's how Leon would describe you. Maybe you were an angel from hell. A succubus sent from whatever realm you came from to feed off of Leon for your own gain. That's what it felt like at times. 

Leon lifted your shirt over your head, your body now fully naked and on display for him. When had you taken off all your other clothes? The moonlight shines in through the window, illuminating your naked body the way the moon illuminates the earth. Blessed by Aphrodite, Leon was convinced. Everything about your body was perfect to him. The plump way your tits sat nicely on your chest, your hips that he loved squeezing when you rode him. The roundness of your heart-shaped ass, your cunt that he could toy with for hours. 

His soft, warm lips kiss your body and his hands explore your bare chest. It starts to rain, the sound of pattering raindrops falling all around the house. With each drop of rain that falls, a kiss is delivered to your silk-like skin. Despite seeing your body more times than not, he's still mesmerized. He looks at you, memorizing every curve like he'll never see you or feel you again.

Fingertips digging into your hips like a shovel. Tightly wound hands trying to bask in your generous pleasure. Your lips were like flames on his skin, lighting him on fire. His body warmed, skin crawling with anticipation. Faded lipstick marks were left on his neck and chest. Serving only as a cruel reminder of the untimely screaming that led to this very moment.

His hands felt like heaven on your skin, treating you as his personal angel. He called you that from time to time. "My sweet angel." His lips used to move in the most perfect way as he complimented you like a child with no sense of injustice. He hadn't called you that in so long, you've almost forgotten what the sweet words sounded like.

Your regret always hits you. You could never run from the treacherous feeling of guilt that seemed to fill every organ and bone in your body. The thoughts that possessed you like no ghost or spirit could.   

"Look at me, beautiful." He murmurs into the silence. "You think I'm beautiful?" The words leave your lips faster than you can process them. He smiles with a chuckle. You've almost forgotten what his smile looked like. "Of course, would there be a reason I shouldn't? You are... more than beautiful." His voice sounded like silk running across your skin.

Your heart swells at the compliment, grief and pride fighting to take the podium of your heart to dictate the night. Pride ultimately wins, it always did. A smirkish smile plagues your face. A small laugh emits from your sore throat. He followed in suit, your laugh was always contagious to him. "What's so funny?" He asks with a goofy smile on his face to which you only laugh harder, hiding your face in the nape of his neck as you laughed.

Your breasts squished against Leon's bare chest. He wrapped his arms around you, engulfing you in a hug-like thing. "I love you." You whisper in his ear after your fit of giggles. His fingers run lines up and down your spine, providing you with comfort you haven't received in months. Maybe the substances weren't really wearing off like you'd thought. "I... I love you too, babe." The mood is suddenly serious again as you realize how infrequently you've said those magical words to each other recently.

You lift your head from the crook of his neck. Your face hovered above his, a hand cupping his cheek. Sorrow and something else that you couldn't make out plagued his crystal blue eyes. Maybe it was regret or something of that nature. You were never good at reading Leon's emotions. He was almost entirely unreadable. "I'm serious. I love you." You repeat in a whisper before embracing his plush lips with your own.

His hands slide down your body and grab your ass, kneading it gently. “I know… I know…” He whispered back in between kisses. There was something so serene about how he looked, painful bliss on his face as the moon highlighted him. Your lips return to his and the painfulness of the bliss melts into pure want, pure need. 

He tugs his pants down just far enough to let his half-hard erection spring up. It slaps against your ass. You'd almost forgotten how sensual Leon was when it came to sex. Though, he'd prefer the term 'love making.' You grab his cock and run it through your folds, gathering the slick that had somehow accumulated. You didn't even remember getting turned on. He let out a breathy moan as you teased his tip with your folds and you copied his moan when his tip pushed against your clit.

"Stop teasing, baby.." His fingers dig into your hips further, if even possible. You knew you were in no position for negotiation. With a sly smile on your face, you guide his cock to your entrance, sinking down onto him in the most pleasurable way. Collective moans filled the room. You felt connected with Leon, the palms of your hands pressed perfectly on his chest to support yourself.

You rode him graciously, starting slow and getting used to the delightful way his cock stretched you out. It seemed to Leon no matter how many times he spent all night pounding your flawless pussy, you'd still be so tight for him. "There you go.." He groaned, trying to remain dominant but untimely failing, succumbing to you. Soft moans fell from your plush lips, speeding up your hips, chasing the familiar feeling that you hadn't felt in what felt like ages.

 You didn't care anymore if your neighbors could hear. They must've thought you were both crazy. Going from screaming to having sex in just minutes. You'd probably receive a noise complaint when you woke up but you still didn't care. You wanted to show Leon what he meant to you, how much you valued how good he was to you.

Your head lolls back as your stomach tightens. Leon chuckles, rubbing tiny circles into your hip to keep himself from cumming too quickly. "You're close?" It almost sounds like a statement but you nod regardless. Your hips stutter, finding it hard to keep yourself in control as your mind starts to become even more hazy than it already was. Leon compensates, thrusting up into you while he holds your hips still and bringing one hand to rub your clit with his thumb. 

Your moans turned into straight-up whines and whimpers, tears pricking your eyes as Leon pulls your impending orgasm out of you. Your cunt clenches around his cock, making his hips stutter now. "Ah~ You're killin' me here, babe." He whines out, his face contorting in pleasure as he fucks you through your orgasm.

He followed in pursuit, not being able to hold back anymore. His hot see painted your walls, a string of whines from both of you as you both calmed down from your highs. "Shit, I meant to pull out.." He pants out of breath as he pulls out of you, his cum dripping out of your abused pussy. You were too fucked out to care though, simply just flopping onto Leon gently. 

He chuckles but it's followed by a sigh. He was still upset with you but you were just too delectable to resist. "Come on baby, let's get you cleaned up.." He whispers softly, moving you off him and grabbing a tissue to clean himself off before heading to the bathroom and getting a warm washcloth. He returns, you were still in the same position and Leon thought you might even be falling asleep. He wiped your drooling cunt, making you whine, your clit still sensitive. He kissed your forehead and before he could even offer any further aftercare, you were asleep. "Night, baby."

‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎┊ㅤㅤ🩻 ㅤㅤ ﾟㅤㅤ ┊‎‏‏‎@ginswife @hermizery @catsareawesomek @valsthea @mememgx @nuo-444‏‏‎

[cyanide-mustard]

Chapter 12 ~ I don't have the words to describe (how much you mean to me)

On Ao3:

Chapter 12: Apologies

Summary:

Jayce comes clean

Notes:

Hi guys! I'm so sorry this took me longer than expected, I'm working in Europe over the summer and I've been trying to organize everything. I will try and post another chapter before I move in June. I think I will be taking a break from this story for the summer and coming back to it in September as I'm not gonna have my computer with me the whole summer. I will be coming back to this fic, I am not abandoning this fic! I have the whole plot thought out and I love these idiots so I will be coming back. I hope you guys like this chapter and thanks for waiting! (translations in the end)

Viktor wakes up with the sun shining into their bedroom, a result of them forgetting to close the drapes the night before. Normally Viktor hated having them open, especially in the summer when the sun seemed to rise just minutes after he’d fallen asleep and greeted him each morning by trying to blind him, but today he didn’t mind it, not when the soft early autumn sun gently filled the room, casting the two men in a soft orange hue. Viktor focused on the man beside him. Jayce’s hold around him had loosened over the night but his hand had remained tenderly on his waist. He could see the faint scar on his cheek from the first time they worked together, when the glass windows broke and came whipping back to them, it was hours before either of them even noticed the blood that had dripped down his chin, far too engrossed by their breakthrough. When he ran his thumb overtop of it, Jayce shifted in his sleep. Viktor watched him and James closer the past couple of days, noticing the distance she had talked about. Before, he hadn't noticed it but as soon as it was brought to his attention he couldn’t deny it when it was so blatant, it left him feeling completely oblivious, something he loathed to be.

Jayce stirred, catching a glimpse of Viktor through heavy eyes before closing them again and pulling him closer.

“Good morning V,” he mumbled against skin.

“Good morning Drahý”

Viktor gave him a second to wake up before trying to engage in an actual conversation.

“Jayce”

“Hmm?”

“Why are you avoiding James?”

Jayce froze.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about mi Luna.” Viktor would have been fooled by the tone of his voice (Jayce could be very persuasive), had he not seen him the other day, when he acted like he’d been burned by James when she put her hand on his arm.

“Jayce what’s going on?” Jayce doubled down, sitting on the edge of the bed, face turned away from him.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” The firm tone in his voice almost made Viktor leave him alone but Jayce's bouncing leg made him soften his approach.

“I do not know what is wrong but whatever it is, please tell me, I won’t be angry at your for it, I want to help you, whatever it is.”

“-... I didn’t mean to.”

“Didn’t mean to what?”

A moment of silence passed over the two. Viktor placed his hand over Jayce’s, in what would normally be a soothing act of comfort, but now only brought on more guilt.

“I didn’t mean to…to fall in love with James”

“It’s okay, I love her too”

“I know I shouldn’t and it doesn’t mean I love you anymore. I was trying to put distance between her and I, physically and emotionally, but I didn’t mean to hurt her and…wait, what did you say?”

“I said I love her too”

“Romantically?”

“Yes. I love her, I couldn’t not love her even if I tried and I knew you did too, I was just waiting for you to realize”

“How did you know?”

“You look at her the same way you look at me and I could never be mad at you when you look at her with those puppy dog eyes of yours”

Jayce laughs but Viktor can see the tension on his shoulders evaporate.

“For how long?” Jayce questions.

“I fully realised the day after the gala, when you and James first went to the forge, but I probably loved her well before that, you?”

“I realised the night you went into Zaun but just like you, I think I was in love for a long time. You were the only other person I’ve ever been in love with so I thought, at first, I loved her as a friend, but I realised more and more, even though I didn’t want to, I love her like I love you and then all I could feel was guilt; that I felt so strongly about her even when I had you, every moment I was near her felt like I was cheating, even though I wasn’t. I didn’t know how to be around her anymore so I tried to get away, to spend as little time around her because even her presence makes it hard for me to think sometimes.”

Viktor laughs at his last statement.

“I remember when she first got here and you and I spent days miserable in the lab because she was avoiding us. We probably should have realised it then.”

“Yes we probably should have, we probably should’ve hundreds of times over again,” Jayce’s laughter dies down, “so what happens next?”

“I’ve known you long enough to see what you want and what you want is also what I want,” A relationship between the three of them. Work at the lab as a team, all working for the same goal, coming home at night, eating dinner together, the same day but with more touches, a kiss here and there and hopefully she’d join then in their bed at night and they’d wake up to an extra lovely face in the morning, “But it all depends on what she wants and feels.”

“If she doesn’t want either of us, then we continue as we have been, but if she only wants one of us?”

“Then…” Viktor, who was normally so quick witted, struggled for the answer.

“I think if she was only interested in you I could be okay with that. I’d be miserable for a while no doubt but if she was happy and you were happy, I would be okay.”

“I think I would be too, I mean you and I, and her and you.”

“Okay, we’ll take it easy from here, try to see how she feels and then we’ll re-evaluate” The two lean towards each other, sharing a slow reaffirming kiss, before Vikor breaks away.

“But first you should apologize to her.”

“Oh god, yeah, I was an ass.”

“Yes, yes you were.”

Jayce walked out into the kitchen to find James in front of the stove. She was making a breakfast dish from her world, as well as she could given the lack of ingredients. Jayce added some weight to his steps, trying to make his presence known, not wanting her to jump 3 feet in the air like she normally did when one of them accidentally scared her.

“Morning” she said in a cordial tone but one that lacked the warmth she held when she normally spoke to him. God he was a fucking idiot. She doesn’t look at him and instead seems to be trying to cook the food with laser focus, desperate not to be in the same room as him.

“James”

“Hm”

“I’m sorry”

“oh”

He hates himself for how small she sounds.

“I’ve been an ass these past couple of weeks. I’ve been stressed and I’ve taken it out on you and you don’t deserve that and I’m sorry”

She turned to face him, this time keeping her laser focused on his eyes instead of his bare chest (If she didn’t know better she would’ve assumed Jayce was using it to score brownie points).

“I’m…I’m normally not this insecure but being here, when everything is new or different, you guys help ground me but if you’re upset with me, which is fine if you are, but it shakes my world and I need to know how to fix it or make it better.”

“You’re right, I’m sorry, you never did anything wrong and I will make your favourite breakfast for the rest of time so you’ll forgive me”

“I’m always right and you don’t have to do it for the rest of time, maybe just the rest of the week” she said with a sly smile.

“Anything for you mi sol, mi cariño” he said, holding her head in his hands, pressing a kiss to her hairline, before wrapping his arms around her and placing his head in the crook of her neck. Once the initial shock of the touch wore off, she wrapped her arms around his back, leaning her cheek on the side of his head. They held like that for a minute before James broke the silence.

“Jayce, as much as I’m enjoying this, I need to look after the food before it burns”

“Uggghhhh” He let out a petulant whine before rotating himself so he held her from behind. She could feel the warmth of his arms through her shirt on her waist (well technically once Jayce’s shirt that he gave to her the first night). She plates breakfast as Viktor comes out of their room, all while Jayce stays firmly planted onto her back.

“𝝺𝝠𝞖𝜓𝞾, your boyfriend has turned into a koala”

“A what?”

“Really! No koalas here? Your boyfriend has turned into a clingy beast of a man”

Viktor does nothing to help the situation and instead wraps his arms around her upper back, effectively sandwiching her between him and Jayce. No one moved. Her heart was battling between two speeds, the canter of a thoroughbred and a slow tempo of a love song. James speaks before her heart can decide to blow up or slow to a stop completely.

“The breakfast I spent so long working on is going to get cold”

The two men let go, Jayce holding on a smidge longer. He sits at the table with a newly lifted weight off his chest, smiling at James, who returns the same smile.

—-

‘Ughhh ah!’, followed by the thunk of a book fills the open space of the lab.

“James, what's wrong?” Viktor doesn’t receive a response, at least not verbally, however James lying face down on the floor gives him a starting point.

“Did the book hurt your brain?” he asks sarcastically.

“I hate you and yes it did, I need a kiss and a giant bandage over my dumb brain.”

“Well I don’t know if you have bandages that big in your world, but unfortunately in Piltover we are in a shortage”

“Ha ha” she laughs dryly.

Viktor lies down next to her on his back. She flips over.

“I just feel so dumb! I thought I could crack it but I’m just staring at the runes, it’s worse than when I started Piltovian. I’m just stuck and I have to watch you two smart bastards go through everything with ease.” Viktor snorts at that last point.

“Remember when I forgot how to add basic numbers”

“Alright, point taken”

“How about you take a break, continue after lunch”

“Yeah, you’re right”

He places his hand out in the space between them. She reaches out to take it.

“Anything new with your memories?”

“No, nothing yet, but it feels like they might be connected to the runes”

“You’ll figure it out, the runes, I believe in you, you are the smartest person I know”

“Don’t tell Jayce”

“Oh don’t worry, he already knows and agrees with me”

At that moment, the door opens and Jayce comes in with their lunch.

“Speak of the devil” she mumbles and the two share a soft giggle.

“Ok V they didn’t have what you normally get so I just got something similar, I hope that’s- …why are you guys on the floor?” Jayce questions while joining them without hesitation.

“I was gonna rip apart a book if I didn’t take a break”

“Ah, sounds about right. Well I bring food to nourish that big wrinkly brain of yours”

“Jayce, 𝜣𝜩𝜣𝞾, coming from anyone else I’d take that as an insult,” she opens her lunch, “so what do you guys do when you need a break?”

“I normally go to the forge or Vik and I will…um nevermind”

“Pfff, one of those activities I can’t participate in,” Jayce and Viktor share a look, a wishful longing for something they can’t have right now.

James reaches for her cup on the ground, looking at their lunch set up in front of her. James gasps and scurries back over to her notebook lying in her workplace. She writes something violently in her notebook before almost flinging herself across the room to where extra materials were held, pulling a piece of metal and using a tool to inscribe two runes.

“I think that the positioning of the runes could change the meaning”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that if you’re using Hextech for a blimp-”

“A what?”

“Oh sorry, um the airships, if you’re using hextech for an airship the positioning of the runes could change how they work, like placing acceleration above movement would push it down but putting it below would push it up”

“Huh” Jayce says thoughtfully.

“I don’t know if it’ll work but I have a good feeling about it”

“That’s genius!”

She smiles at Viktor’s praise when a blinding pain fills her head and her vision goes dark.

Translations:

Mi sol= my sun Mi luna = my moon Mi cariño = my love, my life 𝜣𝜩𝜣𝞾 = Baby 𝝺𝝠𝞖𝜓𝞾 = Honey Drahý = dear Lásko = love

Taglist:

@im-just-a-simp-le-whore

[astermath]

memory lane ु ₓ｡

summary: you and robin recall your first kiss together, and you want a rematch.

word count: 1.1K

tags: established relationship, like a tiny bit suggestive, normal font below!

notes: hey why is literally NO ONE writing for robin?? she’s so cute and so lovely and so ahdkdkd i’m in love w her

The sound of Blondie’s latest album fills the room, accompanied by the scent of incense and opened nail polish. The beige carpet and dark blue walls of your room had long become familiar to Robin, who’d honestly been spending more time at your house than hers recently.

The window was open to make the summer heat somewhat bearable. You both sat on the floor, your back to her chest as you painted her nails for her. Her chin was placed onto the crown of your head, fully relaxed into you as if she was your blanket. It could have been 50 degrees hotter outside, and your girlfriend would still find a way to cuddle up to you. She was always kind of clingy like that, not that you’d ever complain about it.

You hummed along with “Heart of Glass”, stroking the brush over her short nails to paint them a pretty red. “To match your cute uniform,” you’d told her, and it made her feel a little better about how silly the sailor outfit looked.

You always had a way of making things sound a lot better or approachable, which was helpful with a major over thinker like herself. Even before she’d start nervously rambling about whatever she was worried about, you’d sense it, and say something to calm her down. Which usually worked. Not always. Sometimes you’d just have to let her ramble.

“All done,” you gently took her hand in yours, careful not to smudge your hard work, and held it up for her to see.

“Wow, that’s way better than how I usually do them.” she chuckled, leaning in to kiss your cheek. “Thanks baby.”

You giggled at her affection, her loose strands of blonde hair tickling your face. You’d made a habit out of doing Robin’s nails, her hair, her makeup… You were really good at anything beauty related, something she’d always admired about you.

“Remember when I did your nails the first time?” You turned your head so you could look at her, only to see the memory had brought a giddy smile to her face.

“How could I possibly forget? Was the best day of my life.” She chuckled. “Do you?”

You remembered it perfectly. Well, it was only four months ago, it would be pretty embarrassing if you didn’t. Still, the even the tiniest details were still so crisp in your mind.

The smell of her perfume when she hugged you goodbye at your doorstep.

The feeling of her hand in yours when you held it, keeping her from walking back out. Soft, but clammy.

The crooked, awkward smile she gave you, before she nodded, agreeing to stay a little longer in your room.

The nerves you both felt when you’d realized you’d never outwardly said this was a date, not the movie you both went to see, and not the time you spent in your bedroom. The fear of thinking the other might just see you as a friend, and that this would all be one big gay misunderstanding.

You specifically remember trying to gauge the situation when you were painting her nails for her, and tried to ask her about her type.

You recall how long it took for you to realize she’d been describing you.

You remember her hopeful smile. She remembers your surprised face, and the anticipation for rejection.

Only for you to grab her face and kiss her right then and there, almost knocking her over onto the scruffy carpet.

“I kinda wish I didn’t do it like that.” you confessed, cheeks warm from having just described your first ever kiss with Robin. Or with any girl, for that matter.

“Whaaaat?” Robin sat across you now, elbow leaned on her knees as she sat with her legs crossed. She’d been looking at you with a dreamy smile this entire time, wondering how she got so lucky. “For the record, I thought it was perfect.” She put her hands behind her on the carpet and leaned back, tilting her head slightly. “What would you have done different?”

“Well,” you sat on your knees, hands placed on your lap, “for starters, I would have been way smoother, like—“ You reach for her hand, pretending you’re doing her nails again. You trail your fingers up her arm, moving closer, until your hands settle on her shoulders. You’re looming over her, and she’s holding back from holding your hips for the sake of the scenario.

You flash a teasing smile, and Robin recognises that mischievous glint in your eyes, the one that makes her thighs rub together and her body tingle.

You reach out a hand, gently touching her cheek with the back of your fingers. “I’d ask you if you were into the type of girls that take care of you. That hold you, brush your hair… Do your nails…” You lean in, and whisper breathily over her lips, her eyes watching yours in anticipation. “The ones that…Take charge.” You straddle her hips and seal your lips together, her hands settling onto your hips and squeezing your soft skin there. She lets out what you can only make out to be a whimper into the kiss, her abdomen working hard to sit upright in this position.

That’s why you gently nudge her down onto the floor, hand holding the back of her head so it doesn’t come down with too much of an impact. You pull away from her, and she almost whines at the sudden loss of your lips on hers. You grin, reaching out to gently brush a lock from her face. “That’s how I’d do it.”

She just stares at you for a moment, so completely lovestruck and captivated by your beauty. She couldn’t believe how lucky she was, finding the loveliest, prettiest girl ever in Hawkins of all places. She figured she was going to be alone forever, or at least until she moved to a bigger city. Now she dreams of sharing that future with you instead.

“You okay baby?” You chuckle, a little proud that you’d managed to reduce her to a puddle so easily. You were both each other’s first girlfriends, so every kiss, every hug and every ‘I love you’ felt just a little different. A little better.

“Yeah, just uhm…” She breathed out a laugh, closing her eyes for a moment. “Wow.” She grinned. Sometimes it took a moment to truly take in that it was all real, that it wasn’t like those nights she’d laid awake dreaming of a life like this, no— you were there.

“Yeah,” you smile, full of adoration for the blonde girl beneath you. “Wow indeed.”

[livingthedragonlife]

Full multigender question prompts / ask game!

So I decided I wanted to do that whole ask game! And it's still the 5th in my timezone so technically it's still Multigender Awareness Day!

[here is the ask game in question]

Basics

1) What are your genders? Either labels/terms or descriptions :)

I’m a bigender man/woman! The double binary! I also like saying I’m a trans man/cis woman. Cistrans manwoman. Tee hee mashing words together

2) Describe your pronouns. What are they, and why?

I use he/him & she/her, and I usually write it fully out like that (instead of he/she or she/he or something) so that nobody gets to ignore one for the sake of the other, or assume it’s a typo or something. I also say it out loud fully too, so no one can mishear me.

3) How long have you known you were multigender? Or, when did you discover each of your genders?

Uhhhh I don’t remember. Several years. It was pre-pandemic though.

4) When did you first hear about being multigender?

When I met one of my friends, who is also bigender! (Hi Jacob) It was the first time I had ever been introduced to the concept, and it started some wheels turning almost immediately.

5) Are there any terms under the multigender umbrella that you identify with? (like bigender, trigender, genderfluid, omnigender, multiflux)

Bigender, as noted above!

6) Do you identify with any umbrella terms that can encompass being multigender, like "trans" or "nonbinary"?

I am trans, but I am not non-binary.

I guess by definition I’m non-binary? Like I technically fall under the umbrella, but I’ve never identified with it. People tend to assume that “non-binary” means “genderless” which is the exact opposite of what I have going on. I’d rather strangers just assume I’m a binary trans man tbh, because at least then they’d be half-right!

way more under the cut!

What's It Like For You?

7) Are your genders more fluid or more static?

Static! I am 100% a man and 100% a woman at all times. They are inseparable and making out.

8) Are your genders more separate or blended together?

Hmm this is an interesting one. I think it’s both, in a way? My genders are blended the way puzzle pieces are blended, two distinct and separate objects that slot perfectly together to reveal a fuller picture.

9) Do you "hoard" genders or labels?

Nah, I’ve only got 2 genders and I’ve never been into microlabels.

10) Do you have any analogies you use to describe your genders? Well, that puzzle piece one I just came up with certainly works. I also like to say, “I’m a woman incidentally, I’m a man on purpose.”

11) Describe your ideal gender presentation, or physical form. Ideally I would have a video game character creator screen appear in front of me every morning, so I could choose whatever I feel like that day.

It’s hard to describe what I want in more specific detail, because what I truly, genuinely want is to be confusing. I want people to not be sure how to refer to me, use sir and ma’am in the same sentence because they can’t figure out which one is correct. I want two people to come to completely different conclusions, and panic when they realize the other person says something else. That’s not so much a “presentation” as it is a “vibe.” I also try not to get too specific with my Gender Yearning, because transition will never give you 100% of everything you want, and I don’t want to disappoint myself in the future by having a goal of something impossible.

12) Does your gender influence your sexual orientation? I’m double gay. All my sex is gay. Get bigender’d, idiot.

Real answer: I figured out I was bisexual way before I figured out I was bigender, and that hasn’t changed. I think since I’ve started transitioning, I’ve allowed myself to connect more with being a queer man attracted to queer men. My attraction to men has always felt queer, and something did feel “missing” from it even when I discovered being bisexual, so I think transitioning has let things click into place a bit more. My attraction to women never felt “incomplete” in that way, probably because being a woman attracted to women was already queer, so I never had to worry about being misinterpreted as a straight person lmao. And of course attraction to other trans/non-binary people feel queer because duh.

13) Does your sexual orientation influence your gender(s)? See above, I don’t think the distinction matters too much here.

14) Do you identify with any multigender-specific sexuality labels? I have tossed around a couple before, but nothing stuck. Bisexual has always been home to me.

Getting A Bit Personal Now, Are We

15) Describe your names and their significance to you. I only have one name, it’s my birth name, and it’s significant to me because I like it. I think it rules. It’s from Star Trek.

16) What are your plans for medical, social, legal (etc) transition? How far along in your transition would you consider yourself to be?

I’m “socially transitioned” in that I am openly trans if you ask, I am currently on testosterone (one year in March!), I don’t plan on changing anything legally because I just don’t care, I’m getting sterilized in May, and maybe one day perhaps I’ll be getting a salmacian bottom surgery (vagina preserving phalloplasty).

I definitely think I’m in the early stages of transition—my voice hasn’t even fully dropped yet—and I’m excited to see what else the future holds!

17) Have you faced any barriers in transitioning specifically related to your multigender identity or related goals?

It is definitely harder to get a vagina preserving phalloplasty—a lot of surgeons don’t do it. They want you to swap genitals completely, switch from one to the other. Unless something changes in the next decade or two, I’ll most likely have to fly to California to get bottom surgery to even find a surgeon willing to do the procedure I want.

Other than that, I haven’t had much trouble. I do think I dumb down my gender out of fear that doctors won’t take me seriously sometimes (i.e. only mentioning that I’m a trans man, making sure to carefully omit that I’m also still a woman). Most doctors are cis, even if they work with trans patients, and I just don’t have the time to explain multigenderedness to them.

18) Have you ever faced prejudice or hostility due to your multigender identity or related presentation?

Not overtly in real life, because I have wonderful friends, but this one time someone sent me an anon that said something to the effect of: “you can’t be ‘double gay’ you fucking idiot, kill yourself.” Which was honestly just funny to me. You’re just jealous I’m twice as gay as you.

I face more of the quiet erasure sort of hostility. Being crammed into a monogender box wherever I go, even when I tell people my pronouns, even when I’m wearing them. I have a shirt I made that says “Bigender Swag” and I still got ma’amed at PRIDE. Which I guess isn’t wrong, but it irritates me.

19) When in a situation forcing you into one gender, what do you do?

Be disappointed, but not surprised. I try to avoid places like that, because it’s depressing, but I generally just let people assume whatever gender they want until I can escape.

20) How do you deal with such transmultiphobia, external or internal? Do you use any comforts or affirmations to help?

I’m trying to care less about what random strangers think my gender is. It’s none of their business anyway, and I’m never going to see them again most of the time. The people in my life, the ones I care about, those are the people who I really want to see the full extent of who I am.

As for the erasure side of it… just letting people be annoying and wrong, I guess? Being angry is only going to make me angry, being sad just makes me sad, and the people who I’m angry with aren’t going to get any less transmultiphobic—or straight up just regular transphobic, because clearly if you set up an event to segregate people by gender, you don’t care much about trans and non-binary people at all.

Pride

21) What are your favorite things about being multigender?

Getting to do both, I guess!! I don’t have to pick one gender and completely sever myself from the other, I can take the things I like from both and use the pieces to build one whole genderful self!

22) What multigender-related pride flag do you like the most?

THE ORIGINAL BIGENDER FLAG!!!!! I LOVE GRADIENTS!!!!!!!

23) What unique parts about your identity are you proud of?

I feel powerful in being opposites. I’m a man and woman, I’m a cis and trans person at the same time, and most people—including other trans people—would view that as contradiction that would default not make sense, one would disqualify the other. But not for me! I contain multitudes and you WILL be confused by me.

24) Do you do (or have you ever done) anything to express pride, privately or publicly, in your multigender identity?

All the time! I have a bigender flag hung up in my room, I have a flag patch on my jacket and a he/she pronouns pin as well. I made a shirt with the bigender flag on it because nobody fucking sells those. And my sibling got me a bigender flag bowtie for Christmas, so I’m definitely going to wear that the next chance I get <3

25) What's your favorite art/music/writing/etc about being multigender? (Things not explicitly written as such are OK too!)

Who Am I? by The Struts is SOOO bigender song, it’s the theme song to my life. It’s the first song on my gender playlist. Side note: everyone should have a gender playlist, it’s awesome.

Community

26) Do you have any friends who are multigender?

Yes!! And they are all lovely, wonderful people <3

27) Do you talk about being multigender with other people?

Yep! I am not shy about it, and if people ask me gender questions, I will answer honestly. I don’t bring it up unprompted though. Unless it’s funny.

28) Are you open/out about being multigender?

So I don’t “come out” anymore. I don’t bring up my transness unless somebody asks or it’s relevant to the conversation, but I’m also not keeping it a secret. I’ll talk about it if someone asks, but if not, all they need to know is how to refer to me.

29) Are you open about some parts of your gender identity, but not others?

I’m as open as people are curious. I like talking about my gender in depth with people! It’s fun! But obviously if they don’t ask, they don’t get to know lmao

I do sometimes feel like I have to lean really hard into being a trans man for it to not get brushed aside. I think the future, I’d like to have a “public” gender and a “private” gender, if that makes sense? I’d rather the cashier at the grocery store assume I’m a man until and unless they see/hear otherwise, but my family and friends who’ve known me for ages, or that I’m particularly close with, have permission to she/her me and stuff.

30) What do you wish more people knew about being multigender?

Well first, that it exists. That it’s easy and it’s free to be two or more genders at once. So many people straight up aren’t aware that such an option exists—except they probably know about being genderfluid. But you don’t have to be fluid to be more than one gender at once, there’s a whole spectrum of options out there. You can do whatever you want forever!

But close second is that it does feel inherently exclusionary in most queer spaces to be multigender. There’s a bisexual meet-up in my city that I’ve never been to (and never will), because they separate people by “women and femme non-binary” and “men and masc non-binary”—oh, but don’t worry, “you can decide which group you feel most comfortable in!” If I show up there, which room would they decide I belong in? This is a good microcosm of being multigender in all cishetero society, but unfortunately, indeed, in the queer community as well.

A LOT of queer spaces are separated by gender, sexuality, or presentation. I’ve had to wonder which places and people are going to be safe for me to interact with as my whole self, and which ones are going to dutifully ignore the half of my identity they like the least. I have to wonder if people are going to feel betrayed when they learn I’m a trans person who’s still cis, and try to deny me my own feelings and how I relate to my gender. I have to wonder if I’m “too woman” to date queer men, or “too man” to date queer women. Especially now that I’m on T—how long before people start assuming I’m exclusively a man instead of exclusively a woman? What’s going to happen when they find out they’re wrong?

So yeah, I wish people would keep this in mind more often.

31) Free space! Share anything you would like about your multigender experience.

Something that I’ve thought about a few times is the potency of my genders is different. They have different concentrations.

My woman gender feels closer to being genderless and my man gender feels VERY gendered. Maybe it’s because I’ve been a full-time woman for so long and it’s just easier to view as “me”, but since I’m not as used to being a man doing it On Purpose makes it more tangible. Dunno! But that’s how it feels!

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there's a bunch of little guidelines, unique to each character, that i use when writing dialogue. helps to give em unique voices, and keep them distinct from one another. it's also a list of headcanons in & of itself. figured it'd be fun to write 'em out and share 'em here........

lucas speaks as plainly as possible. tends not to use big words - or many words at all - if he can help it. only says what's necessary to get his thoughts across (or often much less…). his internal monologue is long-winded & rich & dripping with metaphors, but when he opens his mouth, what comes out is plain, simple, and always accommodating. though he uses informal language & comes off real casual-like, he's actually very careful with his word choice. if he's gonna speak up, he's gonna be deliberate about it. rarely imposes upon others, even if he's answering a question or making a judgment. while lucas does often talk quietly, and is prone to hesitant pauses, he almost never stutters. southern accent realness.

claus speaks boldly, usually without thinking first. may use an excessive amount of words. he meanders through sentences sometimes, cuz he's just blurting bullshit as it comes to him. has a cartoonishly brazen manner of speaking, like he's hyping himself up as the smartest funniest guy in the room, but you can kinda tell it's just a playful performance. uses mostly casual language, even when discussing serious or complicated topics. sometimes he tosses in big words to keep you on your toes and remind you he's smarter than he seems. will often try to sound calm and unfazed even when he's definitely Fazed. when he's for real emotionally compromised though, he completely flips, lapsing into the masked man's unnervingly brief, blunt, stagnant speech. southern accent realness as well.

kumatora speaks extremely casually. lots of slang. slathers the most basic statements in irony, pop culture references, and naughty language. whereas lucas won't impose upon others, kuma does exactly that, fully intending to make a big impression with everything she says. even when she's being rude as hell, she usually means it all in good fun, she's just got an abrasive edge to her manner of speaking. sometimes others are put off by it - therefore, she deems those folks unworthy of her company anyways. when she's genuinely angry or sad, she tends to cut the theatrics (though not the swearing). might occasionally lapse into metaphorical language to describe complicated feelings, especially when emotionally strained. shortens words and uses contractions as much as possible.

duster speaks really gently, with a lot of uncertain mannerisms. whenever he has to use more than a few words, he tends to hesitate and meander, like he's not quite sure he's got the right words to make himself clear. prone to hesitation, "um"s and "er"s, and occasional stutters. the way he phrases things is kinda soft & malleable, rarely stating his opinion definitively, cautiously leaving room for others to disagree or add their input. never swears - instead he opts for "gosh" and "heck" and so on. very informal, with a profound southern drawl.

boney's animal telepathy "dialogue" is simple to a goofy degree. little guy will directly state whatever is presently on his mind, oblivious to any social etiquette. sometimes his lack of filter makes for funnily rude or ill-timed interjections. he uses only plain words (though kumatora's unfortunately introduced a few swears to his vocabulary).

flint speaks a lot like lucas, plain and simple and quiet. though he doesn't have the same delicate consideration for the words he's choosing. he says what he means as bluntly as possible, in as few words as possible, and leaves it at that. (secretly he's very aware of how awkward and imposing he comes off, but he hasn't the faintest clue how to remedy it.) prone to hesitant pauses, but only when emotionally compromised. heavy southern drawl (where do y'think the twins got it from).

hinawa speaks kinda like claus, tossing out a lotta thoughts and words in a merry stream of consciousness. hugely exuberant. singsongy, even. she's a bit teasy, and very whimsical, but never offensive or impolite. fond of nicknames. her word choice tends to be informal, though she probably does have a more vibrant vocabulary than she lets on. heavy southern drawl of course, peppered with homely little hillbilly-isms.

fuel is funny to write, cuz he has a loose jokey less-than-sincere manner of speaking, which comes off lackadaisical & carefree. but you can sorta tell he's actually mopey & nervous under the surface. if not by his frequent hesitations and dodgy replies, then at least by his body language. very informal and hickish, and prone to swearin', like the workin' class guy he is.

nana's one of my favs to write, cuz she is a fountain of run-on sentences, always babbling some tangential story off the top of her head, winding this way and that, and by the time she's done talking you've learned like 5 mildly intriguing and hilariously irrelevant new things about her. remarkably formal diction, paired with a flat tone that does not quite match her long-winded rambles. rarely if ever uses exclamation points. doesn't swear. no accent.

ness' speech is probably the most basic out of anybody's. ordinary and casual, with no particular accent or flair to it. big & fancy words are completely out of his wheelhouse. he peppers his dialogue with a few dorky dad-isms every now and then (like callin' folks "sport" or "pal," or dropping a wholly unironic "see ya later, alligator"). though he's not a nervous guy, he does get a little mopey or unsure of himself sometimes, which causes him to pause and mumble a lot.

paula speaks pretty formally most of the time. she says shit like "furthermore," and "precisely," making her stand out distinctively from her fellow dorks & dweebs. is she playfully talking clever in a tounge-in-cheek kinda way, or is she Actually Just Being A Smartass? depends who you ask! paula likes to flex her robust vocabulary, and lace her dialogue with snark & sarcasm. her delivery's comedically dry. when she's reaching out to someone in earnest sympathy, though, her speech gets a lot softer, with thoughtful pauses and gentler language. when she's upset, she gets really flustered, swapping her calm & cool veneer for frantic exclamations & italics!! she does have a southern accent, but she takes care to enunciate each letter in the words she uses, so it's subtle compared to characters like lucas or duster.

jeff speaks as flatly as possible, and keeps his word count to an absolute minimum. his standbys are answering questions with a blunt one-word reply, and asking questions with a period instead of a question mark (cuz he delivers them with virtually no affect). though he knows a lot of academic language, he tends not to use it in casual conversation, afraid of alienating others or coming off like a smartass. his speech is generally bone-dry and very constrained. which makes it all the more special when someone manages to choke a sappy blabber or a furious snap out of him. oh. and he comes with a british accent, of course.

poo's another surprise favorite of mine. my take on him is really charismatic, and genuinely quite funny. he's able to swap between casual and formal mannerisms on the fly. sorta in reference to his mimic ability, he tends to match the energy of whoever he's talking to. so he can turn on a dime from talking real candidly plain & chill with ness, to snarking it up shakespearean style with paula. sharply attentive, he's both clever and empathetic, wily and kind, often sassy but never hurtful. chooses his words very thoughtfully. he has a lot of big feelings bottled up, and fancies himself a poet, so he sometimes goes on sappy wistful metaphorical tangents. he knows full well they sound indulgent, perhaps even dorky, but you'll cut him some slack, won't you? a guy's gotta breathe a little.

porky is the fucking worst and i love him so much ❤️. he treats every conversation like a war, and will deploy snide ruthless underhanded tactics to emerge victorious. he's sardonic, haughty, vitriolic. if he thinks he has the upper hand, he'll cooly sit back and try to pick you apart with biting insults & blows below the belt, trying to find your weak points. if he feels cornered, he'll start furiously barking whatever he thinks will hurt you most. he speaks with an uncanny blend of boyish casual language, pretentious big-brained scrabble words, and swearing (which thinks make him sound Very Mature). will wax poetic about human nature like he thinks he's on par with socrates, then whirl around and call you a snot-nosed dweeb for daring to question his wisdom. my very favorite thing about writing porky's dialogue (and his internal monologue) is that almost everything he says is Wrong. like. as a rule, if he claims something, he's probably got it backwards. and while he is certainly trying to convince others of his bullshit, he is even moreso trying desperately to convince himself. maybe if he repeats his miserable lies & false convictions enough, louder this time, they'll finally stick.

picky peter is practically his brother's antithesis. if every conversation is a war, he chooses to lay down his weapons and avoid the fight entirely. he white flags his way through dialogue, keeping his statements simple and brief and unobtrusive. harshness or accusations make him retreat, essentially playing dead or gray rocking 'til the threat dissipates. kindness catches him off guard, making him "er…" and "um…" and scramble sheepishly to find his words. he does have a lot of barely-repressed bitterness in his guts, and might take on a subtle hint of snark or spite under pressure. his vocabulary is not very broad. he's got a dry fake little laugh he does when he's trying to be friendly ("haha") - but when he's genuinely cracking up, he'll snort instead.

tracy is fun cuz she shares ness' plain & casual "just some guy" manner of speaking, but she's like?? kinda fuckin' mean?? she thinks she's too cool for most folks, adopted a tough exterior to one-up her childhood bullies - and especially admires paula. but she hasn't quite mastered the art of being snarky without coming off rude or edgy. so she speaks sarcastically, teases others, seems bluntly disinterested all the time, and it just makes her sound like a careless teenager (which is exactly what she is). thankfully ness sees through her attitude and knows she's full of love deep down. and paula knows she'll probably grow out of it. peter weirdly enough feels very at ease with tracy snarking at him, cuz he's used to that sorta abrasive talk, but he finds solace in the knowledge that it's harmless here, he knows she doesn't actually mean it. tracy reveals her soft side when she's nervous or troubled, prompting gentler language and lots of unsteady pauses, sounding a lot more like her brother in moments of uncertainty.