#or whatever is the whine guy in star war called

[berristreasuredlibrary]

big beefy men part two?? but... they're subs???? bigger sigh...

A/N: I finally finished it!! I hope you guys enjoy it, I certainly enjoyed writing it >:3 I couldn't figure out who else to put so perhaps you guys could help me out and lmk for sure! I yap too much so enjoy! (I read it over once so there might be typos, pls ignore them O_o)

Big beefy men who look like they could crush you without much effort. Except... they're the biggest sweethearts you've ever met. Whose hands envelop both of yours - including your wrists - and who love to bear hug you from behind, especially when you don't expect it. They're the perfect size for it too!

Sneaking up behind you when you're getting a snack from the pantry or fridge, footsteps silent despite their big frame, a shadow slowly creeping up your back, a cheeky smile making its way onto their handsome face. Standing just inches away from your body, they watch in amusement as the hairs on the back of your neck begin to stand, your body telling you that something is there, yet you never quite learn your lesson.

So, when big arms wrap around your waist, squeezing your plush body against their chest, his hands squeezing whatever they can get - which is a lot - you squeal, your precious snack falling from your grasp. You can huff and squirm as much as you like, though your efforts to escape are futile - as you've come to accept -and your lover only finds it amusing, watching you battle with his arms in a war you'll never win.

Your scent surrounds him, much like his entire stature surrounds you, and he can't help but bury his face into the crook of your neck, breathing your heavenly smell like it's the last breath he'll ever take. You can feel his muscles flexing, straining against fabric in a way that has your mouth watering, your mind running wild as your feet leave the ground.

It's not his fault, not really, or that's what he tells you at least, when you can no longer feel solid ground beneath you. You're so much smaller than he is, his back hurts often, having to lean down to hug or kiss you. Or bend you over any solid surface.

You can squirm and huff all you want, complaining about not being on the ground, but he knows you better than that. He knows you only complain because your panties grow increasingly uncomfortable, getting sticky since your pussy began drooling for the brute of a man you call your lover the minute his arms wrapped around your middle.

He knows you squirm against his form - the solid wall of absolute muscle, carved by the gods themselves - because if you stop and stay still for even a second, your focus will be on how your clit throbs, on how heat pools low in your tummy, how your nipples begin hardening under the shirt you're wearing...he knows.

It's not like you can help it either, not when he's so handsome and his body rivals that of a movie star - but you know he'd put models, bodybuilders, and actors to shame if he really wanted to. No, you can't truly help it, and with the way he's looking at you now - with wide eyes and pouty lips, his hands sliding up to squeeze your tits, pinching your sensitive nipples - it really isn't helping.

Despite still being in the air, his hands still squeezing and playing with your tits, you know you're the one who truly holds power. He may be big and strong, but you know with the right coaxing and pretty words, he's putty in your hands. So, when you shift your hips up slightly, dragging your ass along the length of his hardening cock, you bite back a smirk when he groans softly, boarding a moan.

His hands squeeze your tits harder, trying to ground himself desperately, yet his hips have a mind of their own, because they roll forward, trying to set a rhythm that would ease some of the discomfort. However, he is thoroughly disappointed when your hips stop their movement, and he whines against your throat where his face is buried.

Your hands push against his forearms, signaling him to let you go, which he reluctantly does, missing your warmth seconds after setting you back onto the ground. His eyes met yours, blown out and unfocused, his hands clenching at his side, while your eyes drift down to eye the bulge straining against his sweatpants, the fabric outlining the shape of his cock deliciously.

Your hands move up to push against his stomach, coaxing him to lean back onto the counter, before they travel lower, tugging on the waistband of those sweatpants and watching him swallow down the saliva pooling in his mouth. His eyes dart down to watch your hands push the offending fabric down his hips, watching at the elastic stretches over the toned muscles of his sharp hips and thick thighs - it's enchanting really.

Your mouth waters when his dick springs free from its confinements, bobbing up and down slowly, the sight making your pussy drool even more than before. Thick and heavy, just barely being able to stay upright, threatening to hang with the sheer weight of it. Veins decorate the shaft, his tip colored an angry shade of pinkish red, trimmed hair at his navel leading you down to the delicious sight of your lover's dick.

Pre beads at his tip, making your mouth water as you lean forward and wrap your lips around the angry tip, dragging your tongue along his slit slowly, your eyes locked on his expression. Watching as his jaw goes slack the moment your heavenly mouth is on him, his eyes struggling to stay open, and his hands hovering over your head - wanting to touch you, yet knowing he didn't have your permission yet.

Humming around his tip, you pull back, spitting onto the area your mouth had just been, before peering up at your lover intently, voice silky smooth and teasing at the same time. "Baby, gotta get you wetter. Help me out?" Your hand wraps around the base of his aching dick and he struggles to choke back a broken whine as he watches your tongue loll out, waiting patiently for his help.

His head dips forward slightly, chin tilted down as his lips pucker briefly, watching as a thick glob of spit lands on your awaiting tongue. his ears catching the pleased purr that rumbles from your chest. When you move forward, letting your combined saliva slowly roll down your tongue, he swears he dies right then and there, because the moment the warm, stickiness of your mixed spit feels like heaven against his aching hot dick.

You barely manage to wrap your lips around his angry tip before his thighs are tensing and he's crying out. "C-cumming! Oh fuck, 'm cumming!" The moans falling from his lips are sinful, drawn out and raspy, his mouth having fallen agape to let them fall freely, his eyes watery and locked on the way your cheeks puff with his load.

Hia hands find their way into your hair, having been brave enough to finally touch you, his fingers tangling in the strands and pushing your head down whilst his hips shift forward, forcing more of his throbbing and twitching cock into the heavenly warmth of your mouth. Your own arms move up to wrap around his thighs, squeezing tight and making your own eyes water when his tip pushes further down your throat.

Cum and spit dribbles from the corner of your mouth, only to be scooped up by his fingers after he detangles a hand from your hair, popping the digits into his mouth seconds later, moaning at the taste of his cum and your spit. His head tilts to the side slightly, eyes watching your throat work as you swallow down his thick load, thighs twitching beneath your arms and his chest heaving with each ragged breath he takes.

When the last of his cum is swallowed, he's pushing your head away and moving onto the floor, ripping your clothes from your delectable body in his haste to return the favor. "Please please, let me fuck you. I'll be good, I'll fuck you really good. Wanna be inside your pretty pussy. Please, baby? Promise I'll be good for you, I really wanna make you feel good too."

And how can you deny him? With his beautiful puppy eyes, the pout playing at his lips, and the furrow of his brows, greedy hands squeezing your tit, your stomach, waist, the fat of your ass, and your thighs, until he's cupping your soaked pussy, panties merely shoved aside to expose you to him.

His free hand wraps around his shaft, pumping himself quickly as his eyes roam over your plush body, fingers toying with your clit and dipping into your cunt, teasing the both of you. It's only when you nod that he shifts closer, knees nudging your thighs further apart, a pathetic cry leaving his puffy lips.

An endless string of breathless 'thank you's fill your ear as he drags his sensitive tip through your folds, tears rolling down his cheeks when he finally sinks into your heavenly pussy, back hunching over your body as he buries his face into your neck. A shaky sigh leaves him, as if it pained him to be without your pussy, gummy walls wrapped around his cock and squeezing him in a way only you were able to do.

Desperate, wet kisses are pressed against your throat as his arm wraps around your shoulders, keeping you still against him, his other hand squeezing your tit when his hips finally reel back only to slam forward, both of your cries echoing in your kitchen. Apologies leave his lips, frantic kisses matching the frantic pace of his thrusts, his tip grazing that spot in your gummy walls, each brutal thrust knocking the air out of you.

Pathetic cries of your name are muffled against your collarbone, fat tears dripping onto your skin, his hips never faltering, even when he sits up and grabs your thighs, hooking your legs over his arms, squeezing the plushness of them and letting his head fall back with a loud moan. Your own cries rise in volume and pitch at the change in angle, his tip hitting that gummy spot dead on now, your hands clenching, unable to grab onto anything.

His nails dig into your thighs now, balls smacking against your ass, the sound of your squelching pussy and your combined moans a sinful melody that has his mind reeling, leaving him hazy, only focused on the way your pussy swallows each inch of his cock with each brutal thrust. It's maddening perfection, and it has his orgasm rapidly approaching.

Babbles leave his lips, unintelligible sentences being strung together by the bulk of a man, usually so composed - yet reduced to nothing but a pussy drunk animal. "S-so good! Feels so good, baby! W-wanna cum with you, please? Let me cum with you." His body moves forward, hunching over you once more, folding you in half with your legs thrown over his broad shoulders. At yet another change in angle, your hands fly to his shoulders, digging your nails into the muscles, making him moan pathetically and increase his pace, pumping into you with his hands braced beside your head.

His mouth crashes onto yours, tongue tangling messily with yours, drool coating both your lips and chins, his moans and whines muffled with each drag of your tongue, brows furrowing as his orgasm steadily approaches, dangling in front of him teasingly. When he feels your pussy begin clenching around his cock, his fingers fly to your clit, rubbing the little bundle of nerves with a desperation like no other. Your cries get muffled by his shoulder when he ducks his head into your neck, crying out into your skin when your orgasm crashes over you.

His own orgasm is pulled from him suddenly, just seconds after yours, thick ropes of cum flooding your clenching pussy, sensitive walls milking him dry. With a few more ruts into you, his hips finally still, his body twitching above yours as his grip on you finally loosens, letting your legs fall to his hips, his dick pulsating in your heavenly pussy, the last few spurts and clenching of your walls making him whimper against your throat.

When he finally lifts his head from your neck, it's to peer intently at you, his eyes shiny with tears and pure adoration, his forehead slick with sweat, his hands moving up and down your sides until they find yours, his fingers lacing with yours, his spit-slicked lips parting to whisper weakly.

"Did I do good?"

KNY: Kyojuro, Sanemi...

JJK: Gojo, Geto, Choso...

AOT: Jean, Armin, Eren...

MHA: Keigo...

COD: Konig, Soap (Johnny)...

Haikyuu: Bokuto...

+ more

[gojos-thot-patrol]

Geto/gojo/reader “I can’t believe there’s only one bed” and HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY

THANK YOOUUU!! So, this one really sang to me, I went ahead and combined the two, mostly because they are very similar. Thank you both for the prompt!!

Now Presenting...

Starring: A flirty Satoru Gojo, and a tired Suguru Geto

Your body protested every step you took as you walked into the hotel, screaming at you to lay down and accept the sweet embrace of death. Okay, maybe death was a little extreme, but you could definitely have gone for a light coma in that moment. A yawn you had been suppressing came forward, and you tried to rub the sleep out of your eyes.

“Awe, well aren’t you cute when you’re sleepy.” Gojo teased with a smile, earning him a glare from you. 

“Shut up Satoru.” This entire trip he kept making note of how cute you were, and how you needed to be protected, and at this point, he was on the brink of losing vocal cord privileges.

“Flirt later you two, let’s just get checked in.” Suguru muttered as he ushered the two of you to the front desk. He tried to summon a friendly smile for the clerk, but it didn’t touch his tired eyes. “Hi! Uh, we should have two reservations under Masamichi Yaga.” He said, really hoping they didn’t ask for an id. He told his teacher that he should probably put the rooms under one of the three people going on the mission, but the man was more muscle than brain.

The young worker started typing on the computer, before confusion fell over her features. “Um, I found the reservations, but it says it’s only for one room?” She asked. You were a bit taken back by that, and you could tell from the looks on their faces the boys were too. You thought for sure you’d at least get your own room. But, then again, if getting a room with 3 beds was cheaper than getting 2 separate rooms, it did make sense for Yaga to take that route, the penny pinching bastard. 

“Uh, yea that should be fine, that’s us.” Suguru shrugged, too tired to really argue. Much to your relief (and concern) the woman nodded and happily gave over the room key, not bothering to ask for an ID. What a stand up place. The three of you dragged your tired worn bodies over to the elevator. Well, two of you did. Satoru felt fine, because of course he did. And because he had no problem filling the elevator with whatever came to his head. You shared a look with Suguru.

How do we shut him up? Your eyes asked.

Pillow over his face as he sleeps Sugurus eyes offered.

No, I want him to shut up now. 

Oh, that’s not gonna happen. For now, we just have to endure him.

You sighed, knowing he was right and hating that fact at the same time. Thankfully, the elevator door opened, and the room wasn’t far from it. Geto unlocked the door, and you and Gojo practically fell over him to get into it. You quickly went to grab your toothbrush, and Gojo went to fiddle with the tv. It was Suguru who noticed it first.

“Uh, guys? I don’t see another bed.” He said. You and Gojo stopped cold in your tracks, heads whipping to the center of the room and- yep. That was one bed, and only one bed. Not even so much as a pull out couch in sight. 

“OH ho ho!!” Satoru laughed, launching himself onto the bed and folding himself into what you think was meant to be a sexy pose. “I’ve read fan fiction before, I know what happens here!” He cackled, “Be gentle with me, I’m a virgin” He swooned, acting like a helpless flower. 

“I call sleeping in the bathtub.” Suguru said, checking out of this battle before it became a war.

“No, Don’t!” Gojo whined, reaching out to him, “The bathtub is cold and hard, I'm warm and soft. Unless you want me to be hard.” He winked. 

“I can’t believe there’s only one fucking bed, who sets this shit up?!” You snapped, aggressively waving your hands at the bed.

“God.” Gojo responded.

“Bad fan fiction writers.” Geto retorted, apparently salty about his characterization in my past fics. 

“Satoru get out of the bed.” You demanded, shaking your head. You did not just get out of a fight with ten, count em, ten first grade curses to sleep on the floor.

“How about you get in the bed?” He purred.

“I will, as soon as you get out of it.” you scoffed, fighting back a laugh at the absurdity of the situation.

“Why not get in it with me?” He grinned at you, opening his arms wide as an invitation. 

“I’d rather sleep in the bathtub.” You replied.

“Not an option, I already called it!” Suguru reminded you.

“Why don’t you sleep with him?” You accused more than asked, “He’s your man!”

“He is most definitely not my man!” Geto rebuffed the statement, shaking his head.

“He’s actually my man, we just haven’t taken our relationship to the next level yet.” Satoru purred with a cheeky wink to Geto to really seal the deal. Geto rolled his eyes.

“I’m going to bed, goodnight.” He said, going to grab a pillow from the bed, only for Satoru to grab his arm.

“Come on guys, don’t be silly! This bed is big enough for all of us!” He argued, “We all trust each other, right?!” Gojo paused long enough to look at both you and Geto, but not long enough for an answer. He already knew it. “We know no ones going to try any funny business, we trust each other with our lives there's no reason for any of us to be uncomfortable tonight!” you and Suguru shared more glances. Gojo may be annoying, but when he was right he was right. The only thing really keeping the three of you from sharing was standard social conventions. 

“Fine, but if any of you touch me I’m throwing you off the balcony.” You warned. Geto sighed and ran a hand through his hair, sitting on the bed.

“I just don’t get why we weren’t warned about this.”

“I mean, it kind of explains the weird look she gave us.” You noted, sitting on the other side of Gojo.

“Yay, sleepover!” Gojo cheered, grabbing onto Suguru because he was the one that didn’t threaten him, “Fair warning, I’m a cuddler.” He grinned, wiggling his eyebrows for emphasis. 

“I knew I should have just slept in the tub.” Geto sighed.

🛏️🛏️🛏️

In the morning, you were a tangled mess of limbs and drool with your two best friends. Any warning against cuddling being tossed to the wind in exchange for the comfort human warmth brings. You hated to admit it, but it was the best sleep you had gotten in weeks. Gojo woke up not long after you, smiling softly, slowly coming back to life.

“Good morning,” He said. You shook your head and covered his face with a pillow.

“It was before you started talking.” You muttered.“It’s 6 am, go back to bed.” Suguru begged, not happy to have been woken up.

[rinhaler]

Hey hey luxie!! Here are the rin hcs I wanted to share with u this is the same anon from the other day!

Sfw:

* friends to lovers trope is the only viable option considering his overall…disposition, there’s no other way he’d give you time of day

* Calls you otaku in a hateful way because he loves the way ur face scrunches up

* Has all of your orders at any type of eating establishment stored in his brain so he can surprise you whenever ur feeling down

* POSSESSIVE POSSESSIVE POSSESSIVE

* “What the hell are you doing hanging out with that loser?” “No, I’m coming over and we’re having a movie night.”

* Believe it or not, he blushes easily

* “Rinrin, do I look pretty?” *blush mode activated* “w-what? Yeah! Yeah, really pretty” he precedes to die of embarrassment

* Likes to scare you lmfao especially if you guys are watching a scary movie he’ll say he has to go to the bathroom and when he comes back he sneaks up behind the couch, grabs your shoulders and makes some weird ass noise and starts cackling once you scream and popcorn goes flying everywhere

* Absolute hater

* Will make fun of the music you listen to but then has a whole playlist of ur fav songs

* Simps for you so hard

* This man literally has a key to ur house and brings u coffee almost every morning

* Always wants you at his games and practices and looks for you in the stands

* He’s a little snuggle bunny it’s canon bc I said so

* Great listener but not really good at advice but will never hesitates to be your shoulder to cry on

* Often invites you to do yoga with him

* Loves to brush your hair and have spa days with you

* But know this he’s always gonna win the idgaf war

* Sidenote I feel like he knows how to skateboard and is good at it??? Must be the emo in him

Nsfw:

* Titty boiiiiiiiii

* That’s how the friendship evolved into a romantic relationship

* From starring at ur tits

* He doesn’t even realize he’s doing it or when it started happening

* “You wanna touch ‘em, rin? You’ve been starring at them a lot lately.” “Pshh whatever no I haven’t, you’re delusional!”

* Denial is a river in Egypt and he’s drowning it in, he can’t possibly want you in that way….unless?

* “Are you sure baby?” Consent king, has to make 100% sure you’re ok with it

* And after that first tit grab he’s done for

* Absolute slut for kissing and making out like literally he could cum from having his tongue in your mouth (he did the first time it happened oopsies don’t make fun of the poor baby)

* SLOBBER MONSTER OH MY GOD

* spits in ur mouth, spits on ur pussy, fucking drools allllll over you

* Loves to lick you and be licked

* Super sensitive nipples he’s kinda embarrassed by it but god does it get him bricked up

* Fav positions are missionary (mating press to be specific) and lotus. He wants to be close to you and hold you but still able to watch ur boobies bounce

* really into eye contact he knows how intense his gaze is and loves seeing you get all flustered from it and try to look away

* Grabs you by the cheeks, squishing them together a little and lightly shakes your head back and forth “nuh-uh, look at me me little girl watch me fuck this sloppy cunt”

* He’s got a dirty fuckin mouth (yum)

* “Harder rin, please baby harder!” “Yeah, you like getting your little pussy pounded? god, you’re a fucking nympho, aren’t you?”

* Once again, POSSESSIVE!!!

* “Who does this pussy belong to? It’s my fuckin pussy, only I make you feel this good, nobody else can ever make you feel like this. That’s right, call out for me baby, say my name, tell me who you love”

* Breeding kink due to said possessiveness, he came in you the first time you guys had sex, you are his and there’s no way around it

* Can and will and wants to get you pregnant he doesn’t give a fuck

* Pleasure dom he won’t stop until you’re crying or screaming or giggling from how deliriously cockdrunk you are

* Strength kink this mf just stands up and fucks u mid air, loves showing off

* Moans, groans, whines, grunts, growls, he makes every sound you could possibly think of despite him being a stone cold statue majority of the time, this is not the case during sexy time

* Oh and let me put an emphasis on the whiny part while he’s getting head

* So needy it’s kinda pathetic really but he’s soooo cute

* “Oh shit yes baby, pull it out, please baby please put my dick in that pretty mouth”

* Secretly loves being teased and edged

* Face fucker, both receiving and giving

* He lets you mount his face like a bicycle and absolutely goes to TOWN on ur pussy

* Shakes when he cums like I said he cums inside you and he actually gets pretty emotional that you just let him and trust him that much to do something so intimate with you

* Stamina is fucking insane he can go all night if you want

* But when all is said and done aftercare is really sweet and sensual, he’ll wanna cuddle for a few minutes, just hold you and caress your back and tell you how much he loves you lots of kissing too

* Once he finally gets up he’ll run a bath for the two of you and both of you wash each other off before going to bed

* But he gets out before you so he can put some fresh sheets on the bed

* Rin itoshi is a lover and a sweetheart with is s/o no one can convince otherwise

Anywayyyy ima stop myself there I could literally go on all day abt him it’s bad I’m sick in the head

⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️

possessive rin is so dear to my heart I deff agree with that. like, stupidly possessive. doesn't like it when other guys look at you or breathe your air you're his and no one else's.

I love the idea of him knowing what we like to eat 🥹 I'm such a picky eater. However I also feel like he'd definitely try and get you out of your comfort zone to try new things!! But I think he'd be proud of u for trying even if u don't like what he's picking :P

HIMMMMMMM BEING A SKATEBOARDER EMO BOY IS MAKING ME CRAZY PLS

Omg u think Rin is a tits guy?? Any particular reason why or? Idk I never really thought about what he'd prefer but I kinda agree now that you've said it... (hate it for me I hate my boobs LMFAO).

HIM SHAKING WHEN HE CUMS I'M FUCKING BARKING I'M BARKBARKBARKBARKBARK I CAN'T COPE HELP I NEED HIM IMMEDIATELY

omg these are all so good I could go on so long about them all but I'd end up writing a 50k essay LMAO thank you for sending them though I'm so?? obsessed?? I wanted to post this it's been in my drafts for DAYS I've never had such an in depth ask before so I wasn't sure how to go about answering but u absolutely ate with these.. thank u for sending omgggggg I'm absolutely DROOLING

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Michael Before Midnight: "Houdini" by Eminem

Eminem is one of the most controversial rappers of all time, and this reputation isn’t entirely undeserved. I mean, the man has an entire song that’s just six straight minutes of him acting out violently murdering his ex. Uncontroversial artists do not make songs like that. But I think people do give him a lot of shit and really try to underplay his genuine talent too, mainly because of how a lot of his work just hasn’t aged great.

You have to understand the time and place Em rose out of. The 90s was all about being nasty and politically incorrect, and the rap scene reflected that. The rise of gangster rap had guys talking about how cool the thug life was, and there were all sorts of vulgar tunes being cranked out (“Pregnant Pussy” is from the 90s, if that tells you anything). As a white boy in a cutthroat industry where black men are the kings being taken under the wing of the man who produced “Fuck tha Police,” Marshall Mathers really wasn’t gonna do anything other than assimilate into the culture of the time to survive. And it worked; he’s pretty much the only white rapper besides maybe the Beastie Boys who has kept a long and generally well-liked career. He played by the rules, made sure to acknowledge his place, kept his ego in check outside his songs, collaborated with the right people, and boom! Rap has its token white boy.

But the edgy violent white boy schtick that made Slim Shady so funny and… “endearing” back in the day is not really something people like in 2024. Since the 90s, edgy white boys like the Slim character have shot up schools, sexually assaulted women and gotten away with it, openly supported fascism, and whined about queer people and black people being in Star Wars. No one fucking likes a Slim because they’ve been ruining our world for a while now, so this character who was once a beloved aspect of Em’s career just doesn’t sit right with the people of today. Add onto the fact that he’s a middle aged man, and he can’t just be doing the same crap all these years later without looking like the cringiest man alive, a rapping Elon Musk. With all that, and the fact his upcoming album is called The Death of Slim Shady, you’d think maybe he’d drop a single to showcase how he’s evolved over his career, how his sobriety and fatherhood have changed him, and how the Slim persona is well and truly in the past.

Instead he released “Houdini.”

For better or for worse, this is a return to that classic late 90s/early 2000s Slim style, with everything that implies. Get ready for lots of references, offensive jokes, and more, cuz I’m going line by line to talk about the content of Slim Shady’s final comeback. And while I am going to analyze some of the lamer and more questionable jokes, I want to make it clear that I understand the Slim character is satirical and whatever. I'm not fucking dumb, and I've been listening to Eminem for 24 years now. Being satire is not an excuse to be unfunny.

After an ominous skit where Em’s manager Paul Rosenberg tells him he’s own his own for this album, we have an intro to kick the song off:

Guess who’s back, back again? Shady’s back, tell a friend Guess who’s back? Guess who’s back? Guess who’s back? Guess who’s back? Guess who’s back? Guess who’s back? Guess who’s back? (Da-da-da, da, da, da, da, da, da) (Da-da-da, da, da, da, da)

As should be obvious to anyone with a passing knowledge of Eminem, this is a reuse of the intro of his classic “Without Me.” This is a double-edged sword; on the one hand, it is a fun little callback to his earlier career and helps once more establish that he’s bringing it like he did back then. But on the other hand, you’re reminding the audience of one of your best songs right off off the bat, so if this one doesn’t live up to that, you’re in for a world of hurt.

Now’s also a good time to mention that the song heavily samples “Abracadabra” by the Steve Miller Band. From what I’ve gathered, a lot of people find that song unbelievably corny… but that’s why I love it. And I mean, the song’s called “Houdini,” so why not sample the massive smash hit song that’s named after the famous magic words? Again, for me at least, sampling a song I already love means you’re gonna have to really kick it into high gear to make me want to listen to yours over what you’re sampling. There’s about a million songs that sample “When the Levee Breaks,” but how many of those do you think I’m putting on over Led Zeppelin, y’know?

Well, look what the stork brung (What?) Little baby devil with the forked tongue And it's stickin' out, yeah, like a sore thumb (Bleh) With a forehead that it grew horns from (Look) Still a white jerk (It's him), pullin' up in a Chrysler to the cypher With the Vics, Percs and a Bud Light shirt Lyrical technician (Yeah), an electrician (Yeah) Y'all light work (Haha) And I don't gotta play pretend, it's you I make believe (What?) And you know I'm here to stay 'cause me (Why?) If I was to ever take a leave (What?) It would be aspirin' to break a feve' (Yeah)

So far it’s been pretty solid. It’s pretty clear Em’s still got it, great flow, delivery, subtle nods to his past work, boasts about his skills, talking about how he started from the bottom… It’s nothing really groundbreaking, but it’s at least continuing the idea that Slim is back, baby! I sure hope he doesn’t derail his momentum in the next couple of lines with a stupid, cringeworthy jab at a woman who literally never did anything to him!

If I was to ask for Megan Thee (What?) Stallion if she would collab with me Would I really have a shot at a feat? (Haha) I don't know, but I'm glad to be back like

So a little context here, for those not in the know: In 2022, rapper Megan Thee Stallion accused fellow rapper Tory Lanez of shooting at her feet and saying, “Dance, bitch, dance” like he’s a comic book mobster. The case was taken to court, where Lanez was found guilty and then sentenced to up to 22 years in jail. Now, the two have shouted out each other before—Em interpolataed the hook of Megan’s song “Body” in 2021’s “Killer (Remix),” while Megan referenced “The Real Slim Shady” on her feature on Lil Nas X’s “DOLLA SIN SLIME”--but I’m not really sure the two are close to the point where it’s cool for Em to jokingly reference the time some psychopath acted like a Batman villain to her. The fact Megan’s 2024 diss track “Hiss” referenced Mariah Carey’s “Obsessed,” which was about Eminem, does make me side-eye this bar.

But hey, one corny, cringey joke is whatever. Let’s see how the rest of the song goes:

Abra-abracadabra (And for my last trick) I'm 'bout to reach in my bag, bruh (Like) Abra-abracadabra (And for my last trick, poof) Just like that and I'm back, bro

So this is the chorus, and I have to say it’s incredibly lazy and boring. It’s just an Eminem-themed parody of the original chorus, and it’s not especially interesting. That being said, by token of being a chorus of a song I already like just with lyrical alterations, I don’t think it’s bad either. I just expect a little more cleverness from Eminem.

Now, back in the days of old me (When?) Right around the time I became a dope fiend (Oh) Ate some codeine as a way of coping (Mm) Taste of opiates, case of O.E. Turned me into smiley face emoji (Woo)

Here, now we’re back on track! Em is reflecting on his old self and talking about his drug-addled early career! Surely he’ll stay the course here and dig deep into his manic persona that was partly created by his addictions, and not veer off into alt-right talking points and child abuse jokes!

My shit may not be age-appropriate But I will hit an eight-year-old in the face with a participation trophy 'Cause I have zero doubts That this whole world's 'bout To turn into some girl scouts That censorship bureau's out to (Shut me down) So when I started this verse It did start off lighthearted at first (Hmm) But it feels like I'm targeted

Hoo boy, we’re whining about how “sensitive” the world is becoming and how censorship is coming to get you! Eminem is going full boomer now. But hey, maybe he has a point! You can’t sing songs where you violently murder the mother of your child and then abduct said child anymore, because of woke. You can’t rap about mass shootings right after they happen either, also because of woke. Whatever, grandpa. Let’s see if you have anything of actual substance.

Mind-bogglin' how my profit has skyrocketed Look what I pocketed Yeah, the shit is just like y'all had been light joggin', and I've been runnin' at full speed And that's why I'm ahead like my noggin', and I'm the fight y'all get in When you debate who the best, but opps, I'm white chalkin' when I step up to that mic, cock it then "Oh my God, it's him! Not again!"

Just some pre-chorus boasting topped off with a throwback to his song “As the World Turns.” It doesn’t completely erase the bad taste of his whiny boomerisms out of your mouth, but it’s at least something.

Sometimes, I wonder what the old me'd say (If what?) If he could see the way shit is today (Look at this shit, man) He'd probably say that everything is gay (Like happy) What's my name? What's my name? (Slim Shady)

Em’s had a long, troubled reputation with queerness. He came under a lot of fire for homophobia back in the day, but then his friendship with Elton John happened. There’s also his brief appearance in the Seth Rogen movie The Interview, where he plays himself as a closeted gay man. Even still, he’s often used queerness as jokes in his songs, mainly as an attempt to emasculate his opponents (something he even did to an actual queer rapper, Tyler the Creator). As a bisexual man myself, I do find it tasteless in general, but in the context of this song I thing it’s ok. Like yeah, the homophobic crackhead Slim Shady persona would call the world we live in gay. The line still feels a little weird, though; is the Slim persona actually singing this song, or is this Em reflecting on the Slim persona? It kind of muddies the water, and makes it hard to figure just how seriously we’re supposed to be taking everything here.

So how many little kids still wanna act like me? (Haha) I'm a bigger prick than cacti be (Yeah) And that's why these (What?) Words sting just like you were being attacked by bees (Bzz) In the coupe, leaning back my seat (What?) Bumpin' R. Kelly's favorite group (Uh), the black guy (Guy) pees (Pees, haha) In my Air Max 90s White Ts, walkin' parental advisory

Verse three starts off pretty good! The R. Kelly joke is extremely juvenile and crass, but that’s the sort of thing I enjoy from Slim. It may be low-hanging fruit, but that’s the fruit you wanna grab the most. Now what wacky sort of humor is Slim going to bring to this verse next? Surely he won’t make some incredibly stupid and corny joke that isn’t funny in the slightest and derails the whole song!

My transgender cat's Siamese (Why?) Identifies as black, but acts Chinese (Haha)

According to Genius, this line might actually be a reference to a Dave Chapelle bit from 2019’s Sticks & Stones. If that’s the case, I really don’t need to say much more. There’s no way to read this line in anything other than the worst possible light.

Like a motherfuckin' Hacky Sack, I treat (What?) The whole world 'cause I got it at my feet (Yeah) How can I explain to you (What?) That even myself I'm a danger to? (Yeah) I hop on tracks like a kangaroo And say a few things or two to anger you

So he does openly admit he says fucked up stuff to get a rise out of people. Going in to the song, I knew this. The guy’s a provocateur, it’s what he does, and the Slim persona has always been about being as flagrantly offensive as possible. But the thing is, even the stuff here I’m taking issue with doesn’t make me mad; I’m more disappointed than anything, really. Like he has to know that times have changed and people really aren’t all in on this sort of humor anymore, right? What is the point of bringing Slim back to a world that has evolved beyond him, even if to finally kill him off? If that’s what he wanted to do he could do it without trying to showcase the dated humor. This is the musical equivalent of watching an 80s sex comedy like Porky’s or Revenge of the Nerds. Like maybe it was funny way back when, but looking back at it through a modern lens it’s just really gross and unpleasant and full of terrible messages.

But fuck that, if I think that shit, I'ma say that shit Cancel me, what? Okay, that's it Go ahead, Paul, quit, snake-ass prick You male cross dresser (Haha), fake-ass bitch And I'll probably get shit for that (Watch) But you can all suck my dick, in fact Fuck them, fuck Dre, fuck Jimmy, fuck me, fuck you Fuck my own kids, they're brats (Fuck 'em) They can screw off (Yeah), them and you all (Uh) You too, Paul (Punk), got two balls Big as RuPaul's (Woah) What you thought you saw ain't what you saw (Nah) 'Cause you're never gon' see me Caught sleepin' and see the kidnappin' never did happen Like Sherri Papini, Harry Houdini I vanish into the thin air as I'm leavin' like

The rest of the final verse, save for another tired shot at cancel culture, is fine. I might even say it’s a bit funny; I like him taking at shot at Dre, himself, everyone he’s worked with, his own kids… That part is where it is really obvious the whole thing is tongue-in-cheek, because he is by all accounts a good and loving dad. Making fun of RuPaul and Papini are fine in my book too.

So I’ve been pretty critical of this song and rather unamused by a lot of its jokes. This must mean I hate it, right? Well… no. I can’t say I love it, but I really don’t think this is awful. Trust me, I’ve heard awful Eminem and this isn’t it. “Just Lose It” and “We Made You” are light years ahead of this song in terms of awfulness. On top of that, this is also the first single off of an album that’s all about killing Slim—I don’t really have the full context. For all I know, this could be part of an overarching concept of the album, Slim’s last ride before his inevitable death, and in that regard this is definitely a perfect modern take on the classic Slim Shady song, warts and all. We just live in a world where his kind of humor doesn’t age badly, it just ends up dead on arrival more often than not.

If nothing else, it still showcases Eminem has great flow, great wit, clever writing… and that’s what he should stick to instead of making tired, unfunny boomer jokes about cancel culture and queer people just to rile people up. Hopefully that’s what the rest of the album will be like when it drops. I doubt I’m going to review every single song on it since I’m no Todd in the Shadows and my musical knowledge is very casual, but maybe I’ll give my opinions. Until that time, though, I think I’ll just listen to “Venom” again.

[mimi-ya]

introspection ~ portgas d. ace x reader

6,100 words | she/her reader | nsfw

summary: being a marine isn't exactly what he imagined

masterlist | part 2

His back is ram rod straight with hands folded behind and wide eyes on his face. Marine cap askew just a smidge, but enough that he should get a demerit for it. But what’s more out of line are the crumbs on his lips as he says,

“I can explain.”

“Ace.” Garp groans, rubbing a hand over his face and slumped behind the desk.

“Now just listen, Gramps!” Ace immediately jumps in, “I swear I didn’t know that there was some fancy War Lord meeting!”

“Ace.”

“I would have left some behind if I did! Especially for that Mingo guy! I know he’s particular about his pastries. But if I’m being honest, wasn’t all that great. You think the navy could-”

“Ace! That’s enough!” Garp slams his hand onto the desk, “You’re lucky the chefs were able to whip something up before it was too late! Or your ass would be back to patrolling islands in the East Blue right now!”

Ace swallows, wringing his hands behind his back. It wasn’t the first time his Gramps had threatened him with reassignment, and it probably wouldn’t be the last.

But really, how was Ace supposed to know the spread was for a War Lord meeting? You think he would have heard if those so-called big shot pirates were coming to base for the day! Well, maybe it was mentioned in the morning reports, but it’s not like he reads every page.

“And here I was hoping you could at least pull it together for the day you get promoted.” Garp sighs to himself.

“Promoted?” Ace perks up, all decorum thrown out the window as he sprints around the table, “Me?”

A repressed smile peeks out onto Garp’s face. As much as the boy is giving him gray hair, he’s still proud of him, “Not sure now. Can’t have a captain eatin’ all his crew’s food.”

“Captain!?” Ace’s eyes sparkle, “You’re not shittin’ me, are ya gramps?”

“What do ya think, brat?”

“Does this mean I get my own ship?” He starts yammering a mile a minute, “And no more shit assignments? And I can stop at whatever islands I want? Because I swear Gramps, I can smell good food from across the sea and-”

A quick fist comes down on Ace’s head, “That’s enough brat!” Garp huffs to himself, “Can’t even get a word in when ya fire off like that.”

 “I’m a captain you know.” Ace whines, clutching his head, “Shouldn’t hit me like that.”

Garp lets out a boisterous laugh as he pulls Ace up from the ground, “I’m proud of you Ace.” A genuine smile stretching on his face, “And for your first assignment!” Ace’s eyes light up with stars, “Swab the halls of your crumbs!”

.

“Place smells like shit.” Ace mutters, following the old man up the hill.

He misses home. Misses the salt in the air that would stick to his skin on humid days. Misses the red hibiscuses that would greet him every morning when he would run out to play.

“You’ll get used to it!” Garp laughs, “Hell, it’s something I miss when I leave!”

“You’re not staying?” Ace whips his head upward, suddenly nervous.

Garp sighs, bending at the knee and patting a hand on Ace’s shoulder, “Sorry kid, I can’t keep ya on the ship forever.” He gives Ace a squeeze, “But don’t worry, Luffy will be your friend!”

.

“Get your fill?” A teasing voice pulls Ace from his thoughts. He looks up from his poor excuse of mopping to see you leaning against the wall. A deep purple cape fastened around your shoulders, gloved hands drumming against your forearm.

With a growl to himself Ace focuses on the floor, scrubbing harder at the tile than necessary.

Heeled boots click against the floor, coming in sight of Ace’s view. He’s suddenly forced to look up when the butt of a sword lifts his chin. “What? No congratulations?” Your head cocked to the side with a smug glean in your eye.

Ace does not pout but comes pretty close when his eyes shift away from you.

Without seeing it, your hand reaches out. Fingers brushing lightly against his cheek and Ace will tell anyone who asks his eyes did not flutter at the sensation.

“Missed a crumb.” You whisper, close enough that Ace can feel the warm air of your words tickling his skin.

“Whaa?” He asks, still in a daze.

With a cackle you break his moment, slapping Ace on the shoulder, “Oh come off it!”

Ace sputters while you laugh and he fidgets to fix his hat, giving his hands something to do.

“What do you want, pirate?”

“That’s warlord to you.” You shoot back in the haughtiest of voices.

“Only took you three years.” Ace sneers, thinking of the length he’s known you.

“Movin’ up the ranks faster than you ever could.” You knock his shoulder.

Ace growls, tightening his grip around the mop, “I’m a captain now!” Coming pretty close to stomping like a child.

“Captains are dime a dozen!” You laugh, “As for me?” You spin in a dramatic circle, “Well I’m one of seven.”

Ace reaches down to grab the mop bucket, shouldering past you, “We’ll see how long that lasts.”

“Oh c’mon!” You follow after, “Upset you couldn’t arrest me before I got my immunity?”

“Still could.” Ace mutters, flinging open a closet and tossing the bucket and mop instead, not caring that water goes flying all over the ground.

“C’mon.” You nudge him with your elbow, “Buy me a drink to celebrate?”

“It’ll be a cold day in hell before I but you a drink.”

“Well, it’s a good thing you’ll be there to warm things up, Fire Fist.” You roll your eyes, “Now let’s go before they run out of the good stuff.”

.

“You could learn something from him, Luffy.” Garp knocks his grandson again, adding a third growing bump to the poor boys head, “That’s what I expect you to look like in a few years!”

Luffy moans from the ground, “Stupid?”

“Oh, come now Garp.” Makino giggles, helping Luffy back to his feet with a pat on the cheek, “Luffy will do great things too.”

“Yeah! I’m gonna be king of the pirates!”

Garp lets out a growl, already balling his fist but Luffy quickly ducks behind Makino who just laughs.

A loud wail interrupts the dispute.

“I can’t believe he’s a marine!” Dadan’s cries, “Damn brat turned out alright!”

“And it’s all thanks to you, boss!” Magra pats her face with a handkerchief.

“Yeah boss!” Dogra nods along, tears in his eyes too.

“The hell it was!” Ace snaps back.

“Just don’t come back and arrest us.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” Ace grumbles, hiking the sack higher on his shoulder as he makes his way over to Gramps.

Luffy jumps around from Makino when Ace reaches them, puffing out his chest with a grin, “I’ll be stronger when I see you next!”

“And I’ll be stronger than that, idiot.” Ace scruffs Luffy’s hair, mindful of the bumps, “Don’t make me come back here to set you straight, ya hear?”

Luffy laughs, rubbing under his nose, “I’d like to see ya try!”

“Alright Ace.” Garp nods over his shoulder towards the marine vessel.

Ace feels his excitement swell looking at the ship. He’s one step closer to being the man he’d want his mother to see him as.

.

“Just so you know, I was gonna get a drink anyway.”

“Yeah, yeah.” You brush him off, eyes already scanning the drinks scratched into the shoddy wall, “Whatever you say.”

Ace waves the barkeep down, ordering two sakes. When they’re placed in front of him, he pushes one towards you, ignoring the flutter when you smile.

“You know me so well.”

Ace looks away, grunting, “You’re indecisive as shit.”

You roll your eyes fondly, “So, captain? When that’d happen?”

“Today.”

“No shit!” You slam your drink on the bar, “Sounds like I’m the one who should be buyin’ the drinks.”

Ace shrugs, unsure what to make of your excitement for him.

“Can’t believe they’re sinking their claws deeper into ya.”

His head pops up, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

You hum, swirling the contents of your mug, “Just seems like you have more in you that being a dog of the military.”

“Better than being scum of the earth.”

“You sure know how to flatter a girl.” Your remark earns you a scoff, “But c’mon now, we’re not all that bad.”

“Oh yeah?” Ace looks at you, “Name one pirate that isn’t a complete shit.”

You tap a finger to your chin, eyes turned upward for a moment before quickly snapping your fingers, “What about that new kid! Hell, heard he’s the reason I got this position! Uhh, strawhat something!”

“Luffy.” Ace immediately fills in.

“Yeah! That’s the one!” You laugh to yourself, “Word on the sea is he beat the shit out of Crocodile to help the Alabasta Princess. And I know what you’re thinking! Probably did it for the treasure, but last I heard he already moved on to Jaya and was pickin’ a fight with one of Doflamingo’s men.”

“Doflamingo, huh?” Ace raises a brow, trying not to seem too interested.

You wave your hand, “Just one of his lackeys. But Doffy seemed pissed when he was complaining about it to Sengoku!”

Ace rolls his eyes, “Whatever.” He takes a drink from his mug, eyes sliding over when he notices you haven’t come back with some quick remark, “What?”

“You know.” You drawl, pressing your arm against his on the bar. The heat from his skin seeping through the fabric of your sleeve, “Now that I’m a Warlord, I don’t have an active bounty.”

“No shit.” Ace snarks, “Always planned on buying something nice with it.”

“Maybe I can make it up to you.” Your voice drops with a bite of your lip.

Ace scoffs, starring into his mug, “Don’t need your stolen treasure.”

“As if I’d give you a single berry of my treasure.” You move your hand down to his leg, immediately twitching under your fingers.

Ace jumps in his seat, quickly twisting and crushing your hand in his hold, “What are you doing?” He leans in and hisses.

Ignoring the pain, you meet him closer, “Just thinkin’ ‘bout last time we were in a bar like this.” Your eyes flick to his lips and back up, “Probably the last time you didn’t have a stick up your ass too.” You smirk, “Not that I wouldn’t love to help with it though.”

Ace colors from his cheeks to the tips of his ears, throwing your hand back at you.

“Oh c’mon!” Your laughter rings out, attracting too many stares for comfort in the bar, “I was just kidding!”

.

“What’s the occasion?”

“First month on the Grand Line.” His boyish smile lights up his face.

“Really?” You lean a cheek into your palm, “Let me buy you a drink to celebrate.” You hold a up two fingers as you take the seat next to the young man. Reminds you of an excitable puppy with the energy radiating from him.

Wonder how long it’ll take for the Grand Line to harden that.

.

“No bed this time?” You tease, winding your arms around his shoulders.

“I’m sure as hell not getting on your ship, and I’m pretty sure you’re interested in getting on mine.” Ace’s fingers inch up under your shirt, grabbing hold of your waist.

“Can’t spring for a room with that captain pay?”

Ace huffs and you swear it’s a laugh. Hooking a leg around his hip you delight when he lets out a moan.

.

“Fuck, fuck.” Ace groans into your ear when he presses into you fully.

You let out a moan of your own, enjoying his weight pressed against your body. Your fingers slip up his unusually hot skin, scratching along the way before sinking into his inky hair. Just long enough for you to twist your hands into and give a harsh tug to pull him out of your shoulder.

“Don’t!” He chokes, panting loudly and causing you to freeze under him, “Unless.” He breathes harshly through his nose, “You want this to end right now.”

It’s then that you notice his arms are shaking, cock throbbing inside you like he’s about to spill over.

Your lips turn upward, “Didn’t realize you were that new to the Grand Line.” And the thinly veiled comparison isn’t lost on Ace, who has nothing to say to your quip.

With a push on his shoulder, you easily toss him onto his back, so pliant under your hands. “But that’s okay.” You coo against his cheek, and he’s clenching his eyes so tightly, chest quickly rising as he tries to get his breathing under control.

Just to be mean you roll your hips forward, and he lets out a sob.

“I’ll take care of you tonight, hmm?”

.

“You’ve gotten good.” You pant, his hips rocking against yours, “Who’ve you been practicing with?”

Ace eyes you with a mean glint, as if he knows your trying to regain control. So close to being the first to fall apart but not wanting to lose this battle.

But neither of you were ready to admit defeat so easily. He still had a score to settle from that first night when you rode him so hard and fast, he could barely keep up before he was crying out in overstimulation.

He could never get that night out of his head. Always popping up at the most inopportune times. Became sort of a ritual for Ace to grab a cold shower anytime he caught sight of your crew, whether it be in battle or your wanted poster.

A particularly harsh thrust rucks you up higher against the wall. Brick scraping against the back of your head. A hiss escapes your lips and Ace is quick to fit his hand between you and the wall.

“Give in already.” He mutters against your cheek, hand sneaking around from your thigh to your center. Ace is quite pleased with himself when your breaths turn to hiccups from the work of his deft fingers.

.

“Have another round in ya?” You lean over Ace.

“I don’t think I even had that last one in me.” He throws an arm across his face and you grin at the sight.

“Oh, come on now.” Your hand wraps around his soft cock, giving it a good squeeze that earns you a yelp as he jumps up. He scoots up your shabby bed as he protectively covers his sensitive bits and sending a glare your way.

Your laughter tinkles throughout the room, the early morning rays peeking in the port window. “You’re a cute one.” You fall into the sheets that do little to cover your nakedness.

Ace’s cock painfully twitches as his eyes roam your body. Swallowing thickly, he looks back up at you, clearly caught red handed.

So cute.

“Think your crew’s looking for you?”

“Have the night off.” Ace runs his fingers through his hair, “Wouldn’t have been drinking otherwise.”

“Night off?” You laugh, “Your captain keeps a tight leash on each of you, huh?” You roll onto your back, “I don’t think I could manage keeping tabs on my dumbasses like that.” Laughing to yourself at even the thought of wrangling them into a schedule.

“Your, what?” Ace asks weakly.

“They’d probably jump ship from the Orchid pirates before following some shit like that.”

“Pirates?” Ace croaks, finger hanging limply in the air.

You squint for a moment, eyes darting to his neatly folded clothes on the chair. You had thought it was odd when he took the do so, but now that you think about it.

“You’re not a pirate, are ya?”

.

“Just one?” You pout, watching as Ace hurriedly tucks himself back into his pants.

“Shouldn’t have even been once.” He mutters, throwing a look down the alley.

“Way to make a girl feel special.” And you can’t hold back the laugh when he whips his head up with a sorry expression.

“I- it wasn’t, not like-” Ace sputters and you take pity on him with a laugh.

“Imagine the scandal.” You tease, “Newly promoted marine captain Fire Fist Ace, fucked by War Lord of the sea.”

“I think I was the one doing the fucking.”

You reach out for his collar, pulling him close to your face, “Your pathetic whimpering said otherwise.”

Ace growls lowly in his throat, hand slapping to the wall against your head.

Voices carry from the street and Ace freezes, crowding closer against you as if to hide the compromising position.

“You sure about that second round?” You whisper into his ear, nipping lightly at his neck.

Ace fails to suppress a shiver, voice strangled when he answers, “Roll call at twenty hundred.”

“Pirates don’t have bedtimes, ya know?”

Ace extracts himself, taking an extra step back just to be safe he doesn’t do something stupid. Again. He clears his voice before nodding his head, “Have a safe evening.”

You slump against the wall watching him walk back towards his ship.

Ah well. At least he can’t make fun of the limp you’re sure you’ll have by morning.

.

“Maybe he wants a beetle. Beetles make me happy.”

“Shut up Luffy.” A second voice hisses.

Ace glares at the sky, trying to ignore the two voices that haven’t left him alone since he was dropped off on this shit island.

“What about meat? Everybody likes meat!”

Ace growls, getting to his feet and stomping into the forest.

He doesn’t want to be here. He doesn’t want to be friends with those two wannabe pirates. And he really doesn’t want beetles or meat.

“Way to go, idiot.”

Ace wants to be back Baterilla. He wants his room and toys instead of a hut of bandits. He wants to be hiding in bushes from his mother instead of in a forest from a couple of idiots.

“Oh?” A menacing voice laughs, “And what do we have here?”

Ace looks up, his anger quickly turning to fear. Backing up, Ace prepares to jump into a sprint, but before he can he slams into another man behind him.

He hadn’t been paying attention when he stumbled into Grey Terminal.

Luffy and his friend were always messing around this dump and Ace made sure to stay far away.

“You wouldn’t happen to know two little shits who stole from me this morning, would ya?”

Ace opens and closes his mouth, no words forming as the man twirls around a dagger in his hand.

“Back off!”

Out of nowhere two small figures jump from the shadows, pipes cracking against the skulls of the men who stagger from the blows.

“Run!” Luffy laughs, already dashing back into the foliage.

But Ace is still frozen, scared of what might happen as the men are already back to their feet with snarls on their face.

“Come on!” A hand tugs on his wrist, dragging him back into the forest. Ace goes with, his feet working to follow the boys as the duck and weave around roots and branches.

Before long they’ve climbed up a tree and Luffy is still laughing.

“That was a close one Ace!”

“Sorry about that.” The other apologizes, “Idiot over here nabbed their food earlier and didn’t think to make a clean get away.”

“Oi!” Luffy stomps his foot, “You ate it too!”

“Anyway.” The boy grins his gapped tooth smile, fixing his hat, “I’m Sabo. Heard you have to live with Luffy, that must suck.”

Ace nods, his voice still lost from coming face to face with the terrifying men. He can feel tears gathering in the corner of his eyes, heart still beating too fast.

Luffy swings his pipe over his shoulder, “You kinda sucked back there. You don’t even have a weapon, how were you gonna fight those guys? Here!” He drops the metal in front of Ace, “Now you can join our pirate crew!” Luffy grins, “I’m gonna be the captain, but you can be my first mate!”

“Don’t wanna be a pirate.” Ace mumbles, wiping at his eyes.

“And you’re not captain, idiot!” Sabo tries to whack Luffy with his pipe.

Luffy doges Sabo’s attempt and ducks around to crouch down in front of Ace, “Why don’t you wanna be a pirate? They’re cool!”

Ace glares, reddening in anger, “No they’re not!”

Ace thinks of the pirate he’s heard so much about. Thinks of the photos his mother used to show him. But he didn’t care. Because if his old man wasn’t a pirate then he wouldn’t have left his mom. And if he had stuck around then maybe his mom wouldn’t have been so sick.

And then maybe she would still be here to weave flowers in his hair. And Ace wouldn’t have to be on this stupid island with stupid bandits and these stupid idiots.

“Well what do you wanna be?” Luffy cocks his head.

And then Ace thinks of the nice man who would stop by every few months. Who would carry his mom’s groceries in from town. Who would always have some little trinket for him. Whose shoulder he sobbed into the morning after. Whose boat he traveled on for a month.

Who told him to call him Gramps.

“I want to be a marine.”

“Boo!” Luffy sticks out his tongue, “That’s stupid!”

“No, it’s not!” Ace jumps to his feet with little fists, “Marines are nice and help people!”

“Not uh!” Luffy fires back, “Marines are bad guys and fight pirates!”

“Pirates are the bad guys!” Ace pushes Luffy to the ground.

“See!” Luffy cries to Sabo with a pointed finger, “He’s acting like a stinky marine right now!”

Ace shoves a finger right back in Luffy’s face, “And he started it!”

“Hey!” Sabo steps between the two, “Maybe Ace will be a good marine and maybe if you’re not such an idiot he won’t have to fight you.”

“He’s not gonna anyway, because I’m gonna be king of the pirates!”

“Not if I stop you first!”

Luffy grins, brushing a thumb across his nose, “I’d like to see you try!”

.

“So, you’re really Luffy’s brother?”

Ace stops in his tracks, the kid running straight into his back before he spins around with a hiss, “Who told you that?”

Koby’s face quickly matches his hair, “Uhh, well, Vice Admiral Garp said that he, well that you-”

“I’m gonna stop you right there.” Ace cuts him off, “You better keep your mouth shut if you want to make it further than chore boy, got it?”

Koby gives a poorly executed salute and furiously bobs his head, “Yes, sir!”

Ace rolls his eyes, turning on his heel. While getting promoted to captain was a step up from almost being a chore boy himself, he didn’t know it would include being a babysitter to the two Gramps threw at him.

If he’s being honest, all the changes from standard marine to captain have been shit. More paperwork. More responsibilities. Less sleep. And he hasn’t stopped at a single island yet!

“Sir.” One of his subordinates runs up, “You have a call on the transponder snail.”

Ace sighs, looking to the ocean for a brief moment before he follows inside.

.

“You look stupid.”

“And you look like a criminal.”

“Well, I am a pirate!” Luffy’s grin takes up his entire face, “Wanna meet my crew? I’ve already got a navigator, swordsman, cook, doctor.” He counts off on his fingers, “And a liar!”

Ace leans against the wall, “Sounds like quite the bunch.”

“Yep! Now all I need is a musician!” Luffy cocks his head, “You know how to play anything? You could join.”

“I’m not going to join your crew, Luffy.”

“Ahh you’re no fun.” Luffy whines, “Sabo always said you were stuck in mud.”

“Stick in the mud.” Ace corrects.

“Whatever.” Luffy waves his hand, “I gotta get back to the Merry. Sure you don’t want to come? Sanji makes the best fried octopus!”

“Dumb enough for me to be lurkin’ with ya when White Chase is on the prowl.” Ace pauses, “I should arrest you.”

“I’d like to see ya try!”

Luffy’s laughter echoes throughout the alley long after he’s gone.

.

Ace glares in frustration and awe at the sight before him.

Luffy did this?

Three years ago, the kid could barely punch straight and now Ace is supposed to believe he took on CP9 and won?

And now he’s here to do the fucking cleanup.

Ace spent the better part of the day helping move rubble and debris out of the destroyed Enies Lobby. After his unit was cleared for the day, he headed down to the residential area, pitching in where he could.

Guilt swirls in his belly as he looks at the destroyed homes and displaced families.

If he had stopped his brother in Alabasta none of this would have happened. If he hadn’t let personal feelings get in the way of his duty, he could have prevented this.

“What a shitshow this place is.”

Ace spins at your voice, surprised to see you here.

“Can’t believe a crew no more than a handful did all this.” Your foot kicks a rock off the ledge, “Then again, not surprised that prick Spaldam went all out for some low-level pirate. Think it was personal?”

“Captain!” Koby’s voice rings out, “Vice Admiral Garp will be leaving for Water 7 if you plan on joining.”

“No.” Ace answers, the first thing he’s said since you arrived, “I will not.”

You watch curiously as the boy with pink hair opens and closes his mouth, like he has more to say. The boy decides the better of it and turns to head down the stairs to the port.

Looking over at Ace, it’s not hard to miss the anger that’s etched onto his face.

“You know, I heard Strawhat is hiding out in Water 7. Little surprised you ain’t barrelin’ in on a sea train yourself.”

“Tch.” Ace scowls, looking down at the marine vessel that he’s sure gramps is on right now. “Wouldn’t make a difference. Not like the idiot’s gonna get arrested.”

You cock your head and Ace feels his stomach churn at your appraising stare. He’s always hated when you look at him like that. Like you could see through him or something.

“Underestimating the Vice Admiral?”

“Only his sense of justice when it comes to his grandson.”

You’re silent for a moment before cracking a smile, “Sounds like the two of you never grew out of playing pirates and marines.”

Ace scoffs at your bad joke, “And he never grew up. Kid’s gonna get himself killed.”

“Aww.” You knock his shoulder with a teasing lit, “You care.”

Ace’s cheeks flush slightly, “Yeah well.” He kicks a rock off the bridge, “Not a good look for me to be sniffing round him when the Admirals show up.”

“Depends on who you’re asking.”

There’s something in your voice that makes Ace pause.

“Seems like you’ve had quite the day, want to grab a drink?” The question hangs in the air, the intent crystal clear.

Ace swallows, “Little busy.”

“And later tonight?”

He doesn’t answer. There isn’t any excuse besides the truth. That he feels a little too free when he’s around you. A little dangerous, like he might make a choice he wouldn’t regret.

“I see.” You say to yourself, “Well, thanks for letting a girl down easy.”

.

“There he is!” You call out, “I’ve been lookin’ for ya, Fire Fist!”

Ace freezes when he hears your voice. It had been little over a month since your last run in when Ace’s unit failed to stop your crew from pillaging a merchant ship.

You had locked eyes with him across the water, a cannonball narrowly missing your ship when you blew a kiss his way.

But now instead of the sea separating the two of you, it was a busy street. And you were crossing it towards him.

Would it be bad if he ran?

“Fire Fist.” You’re grinning widely in front of him, “Long time no see.”

Ace clears his throat, he wasn’t going to run! He was going to do his duty and arrest a criminal! “Pirate. As you have an active bounty with the World Government, I have no choice but to place you under-”

“Oh?” You cut him off with a cock of the head, “What? You save my name for when we’re alone?”

Ace colors, feeling a little warm under his marine cap. And it has nothing to do with his devil fruit.

“And who’s to say I haven’t turned a new leaf?” You bat your eye lashes, “Redemption and all that shit?”

“Have you now?” Ace asks, unimpressed.

“That’s neither here nor there.” You wave a hand in front of your face, “Heard you got honored last month for your bravery back on San Faldo. Making quite the name for yourself.”

A pleased feeling settles in Ace’s stomach that he immediately tries to squash down.

“Are we here to exchange accolades? Because if so, I have a list long enough to send you to Impel Down.”

You grin and Ace suddenly feels like he’s fallen into a trap, “Keepin’ tabs on me, Fire Fist?”

“Wha- no!” Ace sputters, “N- no! It’s my job, I’m a marine!”

Your laughter is full body as you lean back, eyes crinkled, “This was fun.” You say as you finally calm down, “Wish I could stick around but I hear there’s a pretty vault filled with jewelry on the south side of the island. Catch ya later.” With a quick salute you spin on your heel.

Not even a step further and Ace grabs you by the wrist, “You can’t be stupid enough to think I’m going to let you walk away after that.”

Your eyes slide towards his, narrowed with annoyance, “You can’t be stupid enough to start a fight when you’re out numbered.”

Ace’s face scrunches in confusion. He watches your slight nod of the head. Looking up he counts three, no, at least four discreetly placed individuals. Each staring at the two of you with unhidden interest.

“Like I said.” You growl, pulling your hand back. “I’ll catch you later.”

Ace waits until you’ve disappeared around the corner before beelining it back to the ship.

His anger at your outward taunting is doubled after nothing happens that evening. He’s reamed out by his superior for wasting resources on staking out an untouched vault.

Especially when a bank on the north side of the island is wiped clean in the middle of the night without a trace.

.

Sabaody always left Ace feeling off. Easily one of the seediest places in all the Grand Line. He tries his best to stay on the ship whenever he’s stationed at the archipelago.

He had almost been excited when he was called in to assist in with the round up of some pirate rookies causing trouble. But by the time he arrived all had been taken care of and he was yet again saddled with paperwork instead.

Ace snaps a spark from his finger, leaning over the edge of the ship. He watches the flames fall to the ocean before extinguishing in the water.

“You’ve got the damsel in distress attitude down to a tee.” Ace shoots up when your voice reaches his ears, not even noticing your approaching footsteps, “You need rescuing?”

Ace rolls his eyes, turning back to the water, “What are you doing here?”

“Called in to Marineford.” You shrug, “But can’t miss the chance to stop at my favorite place on the Grandline.”

“Figures.” Ace scoffs, “And what about on my ship?”

“Can’t I say hi to an old friend?” You ask with a pout.

“Friend is a bit of a stretch.”

You come up beside him, nudging your shoulder against him, “The melancholy isn’t a good look on you.”

Ace doesn’t answer because you’re not wrong. But it’s a feeling he hasn’t been able to shake for a long time.

“Well.” You slap your hands on the rail, “If you need me, I’ll be at a bar in grove 13. Shit drinks but the prices are decent enough if you have something to trade.”

He can feel you staring but doesn’t meet your eye. Afraid of what he might do if he looks at you. Enough time passes and you take your leave.

Ace wonders what it must be like to just do as you please. You always sound so light. He wonders if you wake up with plans in mind for the day, or if you wait for something to fall into your lap.

Ace knows how he wakes up. To a shrill alarm at six hundred every morning. Just to eat the same gruel for breakfast that he does every day before he sits down in his office to see his itinerary has already been sent over from headquarters.

Ace’s fists tighten on the rail, melting indents into the metal.

“(Y/N).” He calls, spinning around “Wait-”

His voice dies in his throat when it’s not your face he sees.

“Let’s talk.” Is all Akainu says.

Ace doesn’t say anything as he follows the Admrial through the ship. Marines quickly dropping what they’re doing to throw up a salute the moment they see the man.

The imposing Admiral walks into Ace’s office, taking a seat at the desk and lighting a cigar.

Ace watches ash fall onto the reports he spent all night getting through.

“Your grandfather has no ambition.” Akainu leans back in the chair, a circle of smoke surrounding his face, “Wasted talent.”

Ace swallows thickly, unsure how to respond. Did the Admiral really come to his ship to talk to him about Gramp’s work ethic?

“He’s doing the same to you, boy.” Akainu takes a deep inhale of his cigar, the smoke easily escaping him as he points towards Ace with lighted end, “You could be the top. Even with that devil’s blood of yours.” A frozen chill runs through Ace’s veins, lead dropping into his stomach. Ace’s eyes widen as Akainu cocks his head with a smirk, “Didn’t think we knew?”

“I-” It’s the first thing he’s uttered, and he can’t even get a full word out.

“At least Garp was able to set one of you straight.” He mutters while shoving the cigar into his palm, brushing off the ash.

“You and I are a lot alike.”

“Our devil fruits?” Ace asks before he can shut his mouth.

Akainu stares at him for a moment before letting out a huff, “Cute.” He stands from the desk, “I hope to see you on the side of justice.” He leaves without another word and Ace exhales a breath he didn’t realize he was holding in.

They know. They know and he’s still here?

Ace needs a fucking drink.

He barrels off the ship and sets off in a direction he doesn’t know.

“Fire Fist!” Your voice rings out, but Ace keeps walking. “Hey!” He can hear you running after him, but he doesn’t have time for this.

A hand gives him a strong shove into his back, causing Ace to stumble.

“What the hell?” He whips around with a snarl, fire erupting from his fist.

“What the hell me? What the fuck you! I was calling your name!”

“You think just cause some scum pirate wants my attention I’m going to give it to ‘em?”

Your face falls, hurt flashing across it before it twists into anger, “I’m going to let that one slide since I’m sure you’re dealing with your own shit right now.” You wave the newspaper in your hand.

“You don’t know anything about me.” Ace snarls, “You think you’re special because you’re a War Lord? You’re still nothin’ but a no-good filthy pirate. Remember your place next time.”

The venom in his voice shocks you a moment, never hearing such callousness behind it before, “Oh yeah?” You spit back, “And what’s that make you then? If you’ll sink low enough to fuck one?”

“Just reminding you of all you’re good for.” The words leave his mouth before he even has time to process what he’s said. All he knows know is that your face is screwing up in hurt, bitter tears filling your eyes.

“Fuck you, Ace.” Your voice only holds hurt as you whip the newspaper in his face.

“Wait, (Y/N)-” He starts, clumsily catching the newspaper. But the words die in his throat and a pool of dread forms in his stomach when he catches the printed words.

Strawhat Luffy to be Publicly Executed in 7 Days

[younglingslayer300]

one of the reasons i hate the sequels, regardless of quality, is the fact that they undermine the original trilogy. i don't think they're very well written, and frankly i like the prequels than the ot anyway, but the main issue is that this is a franchise, and the sequels have neatly undermined everything about that franchise.

some of the other newer content does this for me as well - again, it's not an issue of quality, i don't care how good the new tv shows and books or whatever actually are, but they take away from the basis of star wars! the point, tragic though it was, was that no one from the original jedi order survived, and luke's new jedi order was an entirely fresh start. the sequels are terrible because they make it look like luke failed badly (bad move to undermine the main character of the beginning of all of star wars?? but ok??), and actually someone else has to come along and do his own journey for him (again, moronic thing to do to your original protagonist).

and in terms of other new content - i love lots of new characters, like ahsoka, but at this point it's getting insane. yoda's baby frog cousin survived order 66. this random ginger survived order 66. another padawan survived it. actually whole hosts of padawans survived it. the villain in ahsoka's show was some random guy who survived it. the fucking LIBRARIAN survived order 66, even if she did die a year later. order 66 was the most pathetic failure of a mass murder in the history of fictional mass murders, and while that is kind of funny, it does also make the whole point of star wars stupid. it's a big tragedy that luke is the only jedi left, and while he can start a new order, there's no way to get back thousands of years of living history - except that actually darth vader, one of the most feared villains in fictional history, was pretty incompetent, as was palpatine, the master of the downfall of a thousand year old republic. everyone has survived. luke is whining about nothing. why did he face palpatine alone when he could have called on hordes of force sensitives with as much/more training than him. you're building your wall with material from the ground below it?? has anyone at disney actually watched star wars

and ok, the tv shows are sometimes kind of counter-productive, but not everyone's going to watch those, they're not such a big deal. but to undermine the original trilogy in another trilogy?? to make the original heroes look bad and incompetent in the main films? what's the point of adding to a franchise if you're going to make the basis of the franchise look bad

[lieutenant-teach]

Obi-Wan sings. Cody has feelings. CodyWan edition of ‘Star Wars Summer Vacation’. Warning: Lego-style humor! Part 3\5 [part 1], [part 2], [part 4], [part 5].

– Excuse me – sing? – that was an unexpected tactic. – Can I do anything else to distract them?

– Well, I don’t think you’d agree to disrobe, - Cody retorted, eyeing the crowd of dancers, drinkers and in general having-fun’ers. – Don’t worry, your task is just to magnet all their attention to yourself, so I can sneak around – I know how to handle coaxium.

– Fine, - begrudgingly Obi-Wan let Cody drag him to the stage with Max Rebo and his band in the background. – ‘Gamorrean guys’? How do you even know such trashy pop songs? – the odd choice made him even more scared than the fact that he was going to perform for all this ragtag audience of locals, tourists, criminals of all sorts, half-criminals and Imperials.

– You’d never guess how questionable Wolffe’s taste in music is, - Cody pushed Obi-Wan on the stage. – Come on, my dear husband, blast ‘em!

Obi-Wan met the eyes of all the public looking at him expectantly. He felt like he’d already failed Cody’s task – his dry tongue stuck to his palate, his body seemed wooden and awkward, grown disused and so unlike his graceful and flexible past self. But he’d survived more, and Cody’s – Rebellion’s – mission was at stake right now. So Obi-Wan brought the mic to his mouth and took a deep breath.

Cody had always known – his (now former) General was a man of lots of talents. It wasn’t an exaggeration of an enamored person – it was a fact, same as he was a clone. But he almost forgot about coaxium, mission, Rebellion itself seeing Obi-Wan firing up the crowd. Whatever he said about being old and boring, was completely untrue in Cody’s eyes. And ears. And all the other parts of his body and mind. It was as if Obi-Wan let an invisible shawl of his grief, regrets and pain off his shoulders, allowing his bright energy shine and making everyone join this energy. The silly words of the song didn’t register in Cody’s mind, only the voice as a balm to his heart. Seeing him moving on stage along the music absolutely disproved his own words about being out of shape. All that wasn’t helping to stop a forgotten fire of desire rising in his veins from the moment Cody recognized him. Desire of being close. Be there, listen to his voice every day, see him every day, spend time together – as Cody had hoped back then, during the war.

But… Cody shook his head and turned to Jabba’s rhythmically rolling to music fat. He had a mission to accomplish.

They’d almost made it. Up until the moment when the younger stormtrooper crashed into Cody and revealed the coaxium vials attached to his belt.

Jabba’s enraged roar, stormtroopers’ stomping, shouts of the crowd were becoming farther as Cody and Obi-Wan were moving away on a speeder stolen from the pile of gifts near the palace. But the familiar whine of the engine was approaching despite Cody’s efforts to squeeze everything from the speeder’s abilities.

– Looks like we have a company, - Obi-Wan stated the obvious, clinging to Cody’s back and twisting the neck to turn around. – Your famous brother, to be more precise.

– Don’t you dare calling Boba Fett my brother, - Cody swung the speeder, narrowly escaping the plasma shot, and dived into a canyon. 

[the-firebird69]

Here he is and he did his wife in and it was because she didn't do as much as she could at Walmart to our son and it's really his sister Alicia and she's going to get him. I haven't been fighting all weekend over it and he's a f** and more. His name is David wickens and his father is getting him back for the Charles Manson routine. And our son is laughing at them and then I'll get it cuz they're stupid you think they're a joke and they are mostly a little bit dangerous to him but it's hilarious oh oh you killed your own again wow that is some rebel yell. I mean crap what a decision. And the other one too is after her for the arrest and they are having a fight Alicia and Trisha but right now they're going after the idiot. They managed to find out about something and that was Alicia that's why I did it and used Walmart as an excuse so you can't really work for him and what it was was out there at Segovia and really some people find out about it from that iron Man and War machine and it goes up and he then regains it later I'll only be very badly defeated by Tommy f and then again by bja and again by BG until finally he's almost gone and there aren't that many left to them at that time and they are expelled from Florida and at the time of the Star blazers series are expelled from the states I don't handle it well and they're trying to get in all the time and they're constantly beat up broken and sent back in a box so don't send this s*** up here anymore we'll just keep coming after you.

We have news that the saga here is almost over John remillard has warrants on him in every state and in Florida he's wanted for many homicides and they're seeking him all the time this is what he was doing with the bicycle and the scooter just now so they arrested him on the other side of the bridge and he said it's for him and he said what are you talking about he said that's a motor scooter and said no it's not even a moped it's a e-bike instead of going to change the law if we see you changing the law we are going after you. So is raising his hand they arrested him threw him and back his head and said he wanted a lawyers and said they don't have time to get one he's an enemy combatant they don't need to get one it starts whining they pulled over the side pulled his gun out said I don't hear anything from you if you do we're going to shoot you in the head they drove to the station and he was silent they're Buckingham or whatever you call him oh my budsman and they said no and this would have been a cell and it's screaming bloody murder he pulled the gun on me and turned to shoot me in the head so those are what's going to get a little faster so the guy starts freaking out says it's getting me back every day every single day cuz you're stupid him the people in jail heard it and they said you're sitting on him and he's no parakeet or bird or it's like a bird of prey it doesn't attack you right away and out of the blue your hit from the sky and you just keep doing it and doing it and she just saw a bird of prey today and it's Garth it's probably threatening for it to happen and the little s*** can't figure it out n***** I mean a real n***** bona fide. He's supposed to be a clansman and can't even figure it out to shut his back f****** face so he's in jail listening this and they're going to n***** lover and stuff like that and it stopped and black guy came out and John said go back to where you came from here he said I'd like to but I'm stuck here and the guy says you better not be with gas and that was Trump he is why cuz they say what you did today it was how can you see it it's your ship stupid when you turn your shield up and it was oh and then the guy the guys in jail start whooping and hollering and said John Reema Lord is a wussy and he gets pushed around by a small black man and it started to become this huge joke now he's getting it real mad he's going to beat up by black people

Thor Freya

[stitcher9]

the worst assassin, now with more ptsd

[delirious-donna]

Be Quiet [Tokyo Revengers]

an: my first dip into the Tokyo Revengers fandom, please be kind! I just really wanted to write for these guys...

prompt: they want you to be quiet and will do whatever it takes to ensure it (all post time skip - obvs)

feat: Manjiro Sano(Mikey), Ken Ryuguji (Draken), Takashi Mitsuya & the Haitani brothers (Ran & Rindou)

warnings: desk sex, slight asphyxiation, power play, rough sex, doggy style, wall sex, hand over mouth, finger sucking, semi-public, threesome with the brothers, rough oral sex, name calling and light degradation, starts dark with Mikey, ends.dark with the brothers but the middle is lighter

Masterlist

Mikey

“I said,” he oozed in your ear, the epitome of calm and in control, “keep it down.”

Laid across his glass top desk, tits bouncing with each circle of his hips, you tried to stifle the low whine but it still came out muffled.

You watched his tired eyes, lined with the hours spent awake, when even you couldn’t soothe him into a peaceful sleep. Filled with that dark predatory hunger that only showed when he was in one of those moods, it made you wary and rightfully so.

Mikey sighed at your inability to follow a simple instruction, his fucked out little slut, too drunk on his cock to keep it down. Even though a room full of his men sat on the other side of the door and would love to hear your sinful moans.

The creamy ring around his cock was evident to how many times you had found release in the continued punishing rhythm he had set. His nerves were raw and he needed something to take the edge off - he needed you.

Mikey paused in his pace, head cocked to the side as he ran a frustrated hand through his ink-black hair.

His thumb swiped across your puffy clit, catching on your hood as your body writhed against the desk. He took his time ghosting his hand up your softness, fingers gripping possessively, here and there until he reached your throat.

It curled around the slender column, pressure squeezing down until it was getting more difficult to breathe. Your nails clawed at his wrist, but he ripped them away with a feral snarl.

Easing up, he said eerily quietly, “hands gripping the edge of the desk, and be quiet.”

He leaned over to place a soft kiss upon your lips, something that warred with every other action up to this point. The hand remained in place, a reminder of what would happen as he pulled back until only the tip of his angry cock was seated inside your cunt.

Mikey slammed home with enough force to shake the entire desk. You gushed around him from the intensity but not even a whimper left your lips as you bit down, tasting blood on your tongue.

Stars winked in your vision as the sensation of his thumb stroking your neck prickled at your sensitive skin.

“That’s better, such a good girl for me.”

Draken

“Holy fuck,” you moaned aloud, much to the annoyance of the man slamming into you from behind.

He shushed you, his minty breath fanning your cheek as he leaned over your back. The angle of his fat cock changed, forcing your hips to rotate in sweet delight and another moan to dance out your lips.

He groped at your tits, nipples trapped between his strong digits and smeared oil over your slick skin.

“Baby, you gotta keep it down,” he pleaded on a low broken sigh, “I know it feels good - that you love being split on your man’s dick, but Inupi is in the office and could come out at any second.”

Draken kissed at your temple, turned on by the glazed-over expression of your big doe eyes and the timid little nod of understanding.

He continued to stroke his length into your clenching cunt as he manipulated your tits that he had pulled free from your cute little top. The first thrust that landed against your front wall ripped another loud keen and he winced.

You would be the death of him, he knew how risky this was, how easily you could be discovered but could he say no?

When you looked at him with those lust-filled eyes as he worked on the bike he was fixing. When you spread those sinful thighs whilst perched on the workbench, gifting him the sight of you with no fucking panties…

A meaty palm clapped over your mouth to finally silence you, Draken kicked at your foot to widen your wobbly stance and smacked at your drenched folds with his throbbing cock.

You moaned around his warm hand at the renewed stretch of him filling you back up, eyes rolling in your head as he picked up the pace in earnest.

“Fuck - baby, you feel so good but I gotta make this fast. Just be quiet, for me?”

Takashi Mitsuya

“Jesus fucking Christ, babe. You look so damn sexy in my dress,” he breathed against your neck between open-mouthed kisses.

Your thighs tightened around Takashi’s waist, rutting your dripping cunt against his pelvis and adding to the friction of his cock plunging into you at speed.

The idea of modelling one of his designs had never entered your head, not knowing that a lot of his more revealing pieces were made solely with you in mind.

Takashi had finally talked you into it for a small show he was collaborating on, but your nerves were getting the better of you.

Your handsome man was furious with your self-doubt and hastily put all concerns to bed as he pinned you against the small room afforded to him for changes and last-minute alterations.

Loud groans of pleasure bubbled up your throat, quickly cut off by feverish lips that sought to swallow them down.

“Ssh, we don’t wanna be caught.”

“Taka - too good - can’t stop,” you whimpered between broken moans. His cock was slamming repeatedly against your cervix, the kiss of pain making every part of you tighten with need and desperation.

Two cool digits pressed against your lips, painting over the tender flesh before pressing inside.

“Be quiet and suck ‘em babe,” he offered and you weren’t going to refuse.

Your spine arched off the wall you were held against, tongue swirling around his slender fingers as if it were his heavy cock. The phantom salty tang fogged in your mind and you could see Mitsuya’s blush deepen as he realised what it was you were pretending to do.

His lavender eyes snapped with purple flames as he lost his composure entirely. His mouth dove for the swell of your breast, sucking at the kiss to leave a dark bruise - a mark of possession - his mark.

You were his masterpiece, after all.

Ran & Rindou Haitani

It was so very hard to concentrate, your breath leaving your body in short sharp bursts along with the most pitiful sounding pleas of mercy.

Hands gripped into your hips with the force to leave impressive bruises in their wake. You stared into the face of your lover’s brother and watched him lick at his lips as his gaze roamed your naked body freely - hungrily.

Ran hummed quietly as he pulled from your spasming cunt, wiping the length of his slick cock along your puffy lips and ending with a heavy smack against your throbbing, over-stimulated clit.

“Pretty sick of listening to your begs, little slut. Don’t act like you don’t love it,” he hissed as he pressed a hand to your fluttering hole and watched you grind against his palm like a bitch in heat.

“Like taking my cock whilst you’re watched, dontcha?”

He chuckled at the quick, fervent nods of your head. Without warning, he slammed to the hilt into your cunt once more and the howl of your obvious need only made his eyes roll in exasperation.

“Come shut her up, will ya, Rin.”

Your eyes widened as the smirking blond man walked towards you, his fingers deftly unbuckling his belt and freeing his erection that glistened with pearlescent precum.

Rindou pressed the tip to your lips and smeared the slick against your mouth and cheeks. His harsh fingers wrapped tightly around your hair like his own personal reins as you opened to the thrust of his cock into your mouth.

You liked the deep rumble from Rindou’s chest, it made you feel powerful in a situation where they wanted all the control. They both desired you with a dark passion, and for all the name-calling and harsh touches, you were the one in charge - they just didn’t know it, yet.

The brothers fucked your holes in tandem, never leaving you more than a second for composure as your cunt tightened around Ran’s cock and your throat swallowed around Rindou.

“That’s it, little slut, just be quiet and let us fill you up nice and full.”

[not-alien-girl-v]

R-Dog (Rory Keaner)

Summary: Saturday morning, cold air and warm blankets. Cuddle session, fluff, general cutesy stuff.

Warning: No curse words, attempted biting (he didn’t mean it, lol)

Note: Wrote this in 2 hours idk why it took me so long, a little break from my usual ahs stuff

Friday night had long passed. The entire gang, being you, Ethan, Benny, Sarah, and even Erica had grouped together in Rory’s living room for a movie and game night. Despite having strict parents, Rory’s family was out of town for the weekend, making this a golden opportunity. 

You had all sat in a mixture of on the couch, onto the floor, back to the couch, then to the kitchen once more to grab more pizza. The fun seemed never ending, until everyone got tired, and it came to an end. 

Ethan, Benny, Sarah, and Erica all slept downstairs. A small fight had broken out when Erica called dibs for the pullout sofa bed for her and Sarah, insisting Ethan and Benny sleep on the cold, hard floor, but eventually (after no budge in Erica), the boys came to term with their fate.

Rory, however, yanked you away from the sofa bed at the last minute, insisting you sleep in his room alongside him, as ‘boyfriends and girlfriends are supposed to do,’ or whatever his excuse to be close to you was.

That was the thing about Rory, he was always finding new, creative ideas excuses to get as close as he can to you. He never expected you to take these things seriously, however. He’s a very open guy with his feelings, and has no problem admitting how he feels for you and showing his physical affection towards you, he simply just liked hearing you laugh and knowing he was the cause of it.

Now, it was about 6 in the morning, and for whatever random reason, Rory had found himself wide awake. Maybe vampires didn’t get hangovers. Lucky bastards.

Like he always was at any time he was awake, he was squirming around, filled with energy. The air was cold, it being the dead of winter in Canada, and all. You hadn’t realized how much heat the undead boy next to you was providing until he started moving to get up.

“Mmm, don’t,” you whined. He turned back to look at you. 

“What’s wrong? Do you need something?” He placed both hands on your outstretched arm reaching for him.

“I do need something, warmth,” you buried your face into the pillow, a little shy to look directly at him when you demanded cuddles like this.

“Oh, I can turn the heater up. Do you want more blankets? Or a hoodie? I’ll get it for you,” he stood up, off the bed, and begins trifling through his closet to find layers for you.

“No, come here,” you demanded now, getting the gist that he wasn’t understanding what you meant. He turned around, hoodie in hand, and walked back over to the bed where you lay with a concerned look on his face.

He approached the bed close enough to where his legs just barely brushed the side of his soft Star Wars bedsheets. From there, you reached out and grabbed his arm, softly yanking it closer. “Ohhh,” he said.

He slowly crawled into the empty space next to you, laying down. You shuffle your body to rest fully over his, allowing your body weight to engulf his own. You rested your knees on either side of his body and leaned your front forward to land on his chest, wrapping your arms around his middle to get as close to him as possible. 

“Why didn’t you just say so?” He asked with a kind smile on his face.

“I was shy,” you muffled into his chest, but he still heard you anyway. He placed a warm hand on your back and soothingly rubbed up and down.

“You don’t need to be shy, R-dog’s not gonna hurt you,” he laughed to himself at his own joke, and you laughed a tiny bit at it as well. 

When he fell silent after that, you couldn’t help but look up. Rory’s never silent and still unless something’s up. You raised your head to see his handsome face smiling at you, watching you contently.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” You asked softly with a smile, the effect of his own contagious one looking back at you.

“Nothing, I’m just happy when you’re around. I mean, I have a girlfriend. How sick is that?” He raised his hand to high-five you and you just stared at him with amused curiosity. He hesitantly put his hand down.

“I’m happy too. I’m pretty glad I have a boyfriend.” You placed your head back down on his chest and squeezed him a little tighter. He placed a kiss at the top of your head. 

“Rory?” You called out to him.

“Yeah, baby?

“I love you,” you couldn’t see it, but this caused a furious blush to emerge onto his face. It wasn’t the first time you’d said it to him, yet it might as well have been, since he always had that same adorable reaction to it.

“I love you too. Hey do you wanna get more pizza from downstairs? I think there’s still some pepperoni left, I know that’s your favorite,” he changed the subject rapidly, as he always did.

“I think I just wanna stay here for a few more hours, with you,” you cooed. He gently flipped your bodies, leaving him on top and you below him.

“Hey, I’m starting to get the idea you’re just using me for warmth!” He playfully accused.

“Of course I am. What else are you good for?” You playfully mused.

“Hey!” 

“I’m kidding. You’re good for much more. Like, you know, buying me pizza, walking me home, tying my shoes,” you poked at his cheek.

“Oh, come on, I’m good for more. First of all, I’m ruggedly handsome, second of all, I’m a stud muffin, and third of all, I’m the hottest guy around. Also, I’m a super cool vampire. Add that to the list,” he bent down and pretended to bite your neck.

You squealed through your laughter and pushed him away gently through giggles. “Yeah, yeah. Something like that.” You pulled him closer to you, cradling him like a baby in your arms. 

You inhaled deeply as he comforted himself in the knowledge that you loved him, undead monster and all. Being R-dog’s girlfriend wasn’t that bad at all.

[rainydayathogwarts]

𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐖𝐀𝐋𝐊𝐒 𝐈𝐍 𝐎𝐍 𝐘𝐎𝐔 >> 𝐀𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐑𝐒

Second person p.o.v Warnings: well the title says some stuff Characters: Tony, Steve, Bucky, Thor, Clint, Peter(s), Pietro, Stephen, Sam A/N: This had to go under some editing before I have the courage to post it on here because honestly, it's either that I've read my works so much and feel nothing anymore or that it's genuinely trash. Also can someone please explain why people don't like peter quill/chris pratt please

-Tony Stark: "341... 342... 343..." You counted your pushups under your breath. You and Tony had made a bet: he thought Steve could do more pushups than you could, but in the heat of the moment, you bet otherwise. Now, you were obviously regretting your choice.

There you were with Steve in the living room, the rest of the Avengers watching you guys in amazement. The only thing that stopped you from winning against the super soldier was that you didn't have superhuman strength. At least you trained with one everyday. Right?

You felt your body stiffening and tiring as you continued with your pushups. You lowered your body one last time, chest hovering above the ground, but you couldn't find the energy to lift yourself up again. Steve glanced at you with a small smile on his face, watching as you struggled.

You groaned, falling to the cold floor, listening to Tony cheer, helping Steve up in joy. "You good there (Y/N)?" Asked Steve, walking over to you, giving you a hand. You glared at him, getting up on your own, making him laugh.

"You know you did better than any of us could have. That's 352 pushups in a row." Natasha praised, making you roll your eyes. "Yes, but it doesn't mean I couldn't have done better. Anyway, let's be real. Bucky is also a supersoldier, so me beating me is out of the question. He's just as strong as Steve-if not stronger."

You sauntered over to you and Tony's shared room with him right on your tail. You didn't bother closing the door behind you before taking off your shirt.

You gasped when you were pushed against the wall roughly, your sweaty body making contact with another one. " Good gods, what could you possibly want Tony?" You questioned, looking up. "You." He breathed out, leaning down to kiss your neck, sucking softly on the skin. Shivers ran down your spine at the sultry tone, and just as you were about to speak up again, he kissed your lips with hunger and need.

As if on instinct, your hands travelled to the nape of his neck, playing with the short hairs. He deepened the kiss, but it was abruptly cut short when the door burst open. "I-uh, sorry-I-um, water?" "You can put that right over there. Yeah, thanks Steve."

-Steve Rogers: You and Steve were huddled up on a couch in his apartment, watching Jurassic Park. He took a quick look at you, so focused on the movie, your lip tightly tucked between your teeth. You cuddled closer to your loving boyfriend who held you tighter, the cold getting to your bones.

"Honey, do you want me to close the window?" He asked you, already getting up. You got hold of his hand, tugging him down, your eyes never leaving the bright screen. "No, stay." He smiled and kissed your soft lips, getting your shiny lip gloss on himself.

"Um, you got something right there. Let me get it for you." You muttered, getting on your knees to kiss him once more. He chuckled against your lips, flipping you over so you were laying down on the couch. You threw your shirt off, Steve doing the same.

Just as Steve reached down to slide his shorts off, yours already long gone, the door burst open, two loud voices interrupting your moment. Two wolf-whistles caught your attention, your heads snapping in their direction. At the sight of Sam and Bucky, you pushed Steve off of you with such force he fell to the ground.

You rushed to put your shorts and shirt back on but they were at Sam's feet, so you stayed hidden behind the couch. "Nice gloss Steve. Where'd you get it from?" Started Bucky. "Oh right, never mind, where'd you get it from (Y/N)?" Sam slammed his hand on Bucky's back as they both broke down laughing. "Remind me why we gave them a key?"

-Bucky Barnes: Bucky wasn't exactly having the best day. The both of you had gone to one of your favourite coffee shops when your ex just happened to bump into you. "(Y/N)? Oh wow." And with that he started rambling off about his life, flirting with you, even with Bucky standing beside you.

You politely told him you had to go, feeling awfully sorry that Bucky had to deal with that. When you got back to the Avengers Compound, Natasha had immediately called you in for some work, leaving your boyfriend to sit in your shared bedroom all alone on his day off.

He wanted to kill your ex. Quite literally. So much that he even found his address. So when you entered your room, you didn't have the time to kick your shoes off before you were pressed up against the wall, with Bucky's lips hungrily attacking yours. You obviously kissed him back, hands pulling him closer to you by the shoulders.

When the door opened, Natasha dropped the file she was holding and her jaw slacked. Bucky closed the door shut with a growl, holding it there with his metal arm, his lips never leaving yours.

-Thor Odinson: It was a nice, calm morning for you and Thor. You were laying in bed, sunlight coming from the windows giving a nice gold tint to the room. Thor looked down, playing with your silky hair, and you smiled when your eyes connected.

He leaned down to give your lips a short peck, but you pulled him back in, finding his arms suddenly wrapped around your torso tightly. Your hands cupped his jaw and you felt Thor smile as he slid his tongue into your mouth, exploring it like it was the first time.

"Hey-oh!" Thor grunted and pulled away, looking at Tony who had barged into your room "Didn't know the Odinsons had it in them to go for a round so early." Thor held his hand out for Mjölnir which flew from the other side of the room right into his hand, making Tony run out of the room faster than thunder.

-Clint Barton: It was one of those days in the facility where no one had anything to do. No paperwork to fill out, no missions to go on and nothing fun to do. So logically, you and Clint decided it'd be a great idea to go training.

As you were sparring, he swung his leg under yours and in the blink of an eye, you had him straddling your hips on the ground.

He smirked and leaned down, his face close enough to yours for you to be kissing. He pinned your arms above your head and you whispered "Not here Clint." However you didn't protest when he started kissing your neck.

He only stopped when you both heard a loud voice booming. "Brother Clint and Lady (Y/N) seem to be busy, turn around." Clint rolled off you, the only thing heard in the room was your now heavy breathing. You saw Thor pushing Steve out of the training room making you chuckle slightly before getting up.

-Pietro Maximoff: It was a lazy day for you and Pietro. You both had some fun last night, though you were quiet and slow, not wanting to wake the others up from their light slumber.

You walked into the kitchen in one of Pietro's oversized training shirts to make yourself a coffee and a peanut butter and jam sandwich. You shut your eyes for a moment, opening them to take your first bite.

You felt arms wrap around your waist and you leaned into the familiarity of Pietro's chest. You both sighed in content; everything was perfect. Nothing could possibly ruin the weekend you were having. Pietro went ahead to place a kiss on your cheek and you turned around to get a proper one on the lips. He chuckled, his laugh throaty and raspy.

He reconnected your lips only to hear a yell "Oh get a room you two!" You bit the inside of your cheek, grabbing your sandwich in one hand and Pietro's shirt in the other, dodging a disgusted Clint as you escaped to your bedroom, coffee mug forgotten on the counter.

-Peter Parker: You and Peter went over to his house immediately after class, eager to cool off with your weekly movie night. It was easy to say that the both of you had a fairly tough week. You changed into some comfortable clothes, settling down on Peter's bed with a bunch of snacks.

"You know," you started, taking a sip of your soda. "More people should watch Star Wars. Like they immediately judge, but they haven't even watched it. At least know what you're talking about if you're going to say it's bad." Peter smiled, pulling your body closer to his and kissing your forehead. You hummed in delight, snuggling into his chest. "If this is what I get for being smart, I should really start studying more."

You trailed butterfly kisses on his soft skin, from his jaw down to his collar bone until his sweater was restricting any further access. You tugged at it and Peter untangled himself from you to take it off.

Just as you straddled him, connecting your lips to his skin once more, the door squeaked, signaling it had been open. "Hey Peter-oh! Use protection!" Aunt May stepped out of the doorway, shutting the door behind her, leaving you and Peter mouth agape as you stared at the same spot she stood at mere seconds ago.

-Peter Quill: It was a crucially boring day for the lot of you. You all just sat in the Milano trying to find something to do. "Babe. Baby." Peter poked you in the shoulder repetitively, head leaning on your arm, puppy eyes ready. "What is it Peter, Baby?" "I miss you." He whined.

You looked down at his pouty face, leaning down to give his soft plump lips a nice short kiss. "I want you," he whispered in such a low voice, you almost didn't hear him. You looked around the room.

Gamora was reading a magazine, Rocket was fixing some sort of machine, probably another bomb, Drax was sitting on a one seater couch eating from a bag of chips and Mantis was doing whatever Mantis does, looking outside the ship from the big glass window.

"Come on." You told him quietly. As soon as you entered your room, Peter was planting kisses all over your jaw and down your neck. He picked you up, walking you over to your bed. He immediately crawled above you and you moaned, throwing your head on your pillows and arching your back when he found your sweet spot.

"What a show, you're disgusting." Peter didn't stop, and neither did you, only encouraging his actions when you wrapped your legs around his waist, pulling him closer. You only pulled away when Gamora took her shoe off, throwing it at the both of you and hitting Peter, making him jump and yelp.

-Stephen Strange: "Hello Love." You jumped slightly at your boyfriend's sudden presence behind you and heard him chuckle deeply. He had just returned from the hospital after a long day of work, leaving to your bedroom for some rest.

You sat in the living room, eyes on your book but your mind kept on drifting off to Stephen. He was a great man. He always greeted you with small kisses after long days of work, cooked dinner when he could, and went out of his way to buy you flowers and small gifts.

You don't know how long you sat there but you eventually got up to strut over to you and Stephen's bedroom. "Hey Ste-oh." There he stood, towel wrapped around his waist, hand running through his wet, greying hair.

His smirk grew wide as he approached you, hands gripping your hips. He leaned down and your arms went to his chest as your lips connected. His tongue easily slipped past your lips and into your mouth. Your fingers played with the loose towel hanging around Stephen's torso and soon enough, it hit the ground, exposing your fiancé's body to you.

Stephen groaned and your arms wrapped themselves around his neck. He lifted you up and your legs found their spot around his waist, hooking your ankles together, never breaking the kiss. "Oh my god!" Stephen suddenly dropped you on the floor only to pull you back into him to cover himself. "Oh my god! Why you guys!? At least shut the fucking door!" "Get out Christine!" Yelled Stephen, his face flushed, embarrassment written all over his features.

-Loki Laufeyson: You sat in the library, nose in a book. That's how it was, and that's how you planned it would be for the rest of the day. That was, until someone snatched your precious book from your hands and started running into the depths of the library, the only sign of who it is being the jet black hair disappearing behind a bookshelf.

"Loki! Come back!" You yelled, already on the chase. "Loki!" You dragged out the last syllable you looked through the aisles. All of a sudden, you were pulled into someone's arms and then pushed back into a bookcase, a pair of lips smashing onto yours.

You couldn't help but moan out Loki's name as he pressed himself closer to you, starting to grind his crotch into yours. He smiled softly, murmuring an "I've missed you incredibly, my love." You moaned again, managing to utter "I've missed you too."

"Would you look at that! What have you done to (Y/N)'s innocence, my dear brother?" Loki pulled away with a sigh, giving Thor an 'Are you serious?" look.

-Sam Wilson: "Never again." You groaned, slumping down onto the couch, clutching your now broken wrist. "You okay baby?" Asked Sam, pulling you into a hug. You dug your head into his chest, shaking it slightly. "I think Steve likes seeing me suffer. He always sends me after the tougher guys." You whined.

He chuckled as you spoke up again, muttering about the pain. "At least you got your cast to be your favourite colour, no?" You laughed at his poor attempt to cheer you up but nodded nonetheless.

He got up, leaving the room before joining you again, a sweatshirt in hand. Your eyes lit up as he handed it to you and you pulled it on, nearly ripping it with your speed. "Careful there." He muttered as you launched yourself on him to hug him.

"Mhmm." "Don't fall asleep on me again, please." He told you, kissing your soft, pink lips. You hummed, your uninjured arm fisting his shirt to pull him on top of you. He chuckled at your eagerness before pulling you in again.

You both had been so busy these past few weeks that you barely got a morning kiss, but now that you were alone, you intended to make the most of it, showing your boyfriend of two years how much you really loved him.

Your unharmed hand held him closer to you by the neck, your broken one on the couch beside your head. You moaned when Sam bit your lip but immediately stopped, eyes widening when Natasha walked in with Tony, her eyes on her phone, muttering "Somewhere else please."

[mozzarella-stickz]

Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy: Klitz x F! Original Character

Summary: Klitz, Annie, and Eli have a sleepover. When Eli falls asleep, Klitz and Annie talk.

Warnings: some NSFW themes (talks of masturbation, Eli making horrible sexual jokes)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hey Annie Bananie!”

“Eli, it’s been years, you can stop calling me that!”

Annie rolled her eyes, letting Eli and Klitz into her house. Ever since she had been friends with the boys, Eli insisted on that stupid nickname.

“Hey, Annie,” Klitz said with a soft voice and a smirk that made her half-melt. “What’s your game plan for tonight?”

“Well, Matt called me a minute ago saying he and Danielle were going out tonight, which is fine, so he won’t make it. I guess we can order some pizza, maybe watch a movie or two, and chill?”

“Sounds good.”

“How come Matt’s allowed to skip!” Eli whined. “Last time I had to leave early you threatened to rip my spine out.”

“Matt has other priorities,” Annie responded with an eye roll. “Your only other priority is your right hand.”

Eli huffed and Annie walked past him in the doorway, heading towards her bedroom.

“I’ll be right back. I hate wearing jeans for longer than necessary.”

As soon as Eli heard the door to Annie’s room close, he spoke up to Klitz.

“You have to tell her tonight,” Eli told him. “Because if you don’t, I might.”

“Really, dude?”

“I mean it. I see the way she looks at you. Did you not see her get all blushy when you said hi?”

“I just thought she was excited.”

“Yeah, she was practically creaming her panties.”

“Dude, that’s disgusting.”

Eli shrugged.

“All I’m saying is, go get her. You’ll never know until you try.”

Annie’s door opened, and she rushed to the top of the stairs.

“Hey guys, sorry!” she exclaimed, emerging in an over-sized Star Wars t-shirt and a pair of pajama shorts. Klitz’s face went red. That was 100% his shirt he had left the last time they had hung out.

“Hey Annie?” Eli spoke up with a mischievous smile. “Isn’t that Klitzy’s shirt?”

Both Annie and Klitz went tomato red.

“Ummm…maybe?” she laughed nervously. “I just thought…I wear baggy shirts…it was mine?”

“Mhm, right.”

“Whatever. You don’t mind, right Klitzy?”

Klitz shook his head no, his brain about to explode. She was literally wearing his shirt. He slept in that shirt, went to school in that shirt, masturbated to the thought of her while wearing that shirt.

“Who’s ready for pizza!“ Annie exclaimed as she rushed down the stairs, eager to get out of the conversation.

Klitz let out a sigh, it was going to be a long night.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hours later, the pizza had been eaten, they had already watched both Ferris Bueller’s Day Off and The Breakfast Club, and Eli had passed out on the floor, his Vivid Video hat over his face, still clutching the remote.

“He looks so peaceful when he’s not being fucking annoying,” Annie said with a laugh. “Too peaceful. I wanna kick him.”

“You and me both,” Klitz said with an awkward chuckle.

“Whenever he sees us together he always makes fun of how my face grows red and it looks like I wanna kiss you.”

Klitz went red, and his heart sank. Annie had said it in a way that made her seem disgusted with even the idea of kissing him. He should have known someone as pretty, smart, and funny would never fall for a guy like him.

“Really?” Klitz tried to play off like it was some funny joke.

“Yeah…I mean he isn’t wrong…but..”

Annie let out an awkward little smile and chuckle before she groaned. She stood up from the couch.

“I made this awkward. I’ll-I’ll go to bed. I didn’t mean to…”

Klitz stood up from the couch, placing his hands gently on her waist. He looked down at her with admiration, before kissing her gently. Annie was taken aback for a moment, before returning the kiss. He tasted like pepperoni and Diet Coke, which honestly, didn’t taste too bad. Klitz pulled away with a smile.

“I’ve been wanting to do that for so long,” he admitted, tucking a strand of Annie’s hair behind her ears.

“Really?”

“I thought it was so obvious.”

“I thought I was being obvious! I’m wearing your shirt for God’s sa-“

“So you did know it was mine.”

Annie flushed again, and hid her head in her hands. Klitz pulled her out of her self-made shell gently.

“Keep it,” he said, kissing her forehead. “It looks better on you.”

“Finally!”

Annie and Klitz both jumped back in shock as Eli pulled his hat off his face, jumping up from his cocoon of blankets on the floor.

“Eli!“ they both yelled in unison.

“You guys finally fucking made out!“ he said excitedly. “My work is done!”

“You are such a jerk!” Annie yelled, yanking his hat from his hands and smacking him with it.

“Ow!”

Klitz watched as his two friends fought, smiling gently. Despite the annoyance he felt at Eli for interrupting and watching him and Annie’s whole interaction, he was glad to have kissed her at least once. Once Eli had finally apologized, Annie sat back on the couch with Klitz.

“So,” she said, slowly. “Klitz? Would you um…would you want to go out with me?”

It was like a million fireworks had suddenly exploded in his heart. A chance with his dream girl?

“S-sure,” he said with a thick swallow.

Annie leaned back into the couch with a smile, resting her head on Klitz’s shoulder. Despite the awkwardness of the night, she was glad to finally have the chance with the guy she’d wanted for so long.

[fangirl-writes]

Pop Culture

Benny Weir x Reader

Request:  hey i hope ur doing well! would u be able to do a benny x fem!reader where she’s really popular and has a crush on him and isn’t shy about it. benny likes her a lot too but he’s scared that she’ll just end up leaving him for another popular kid. so she makes multiple public declarations as well as takes him on a string of extravagant dates to show him how much she truly likes him.

Warning(s): none. A lot of star wars references. Like. A LOT.

Notes: I am doing fine thank you! Sorry for taking so long with this one. This was cute. I got a little side tracked from the main request and just went all in with the star wars theme, I’m so sorry.

Y/N L/N was one of the most popular girls in school. That was undoubtable. She was a cheerleader, head of the prom committee, former homecoming queen, and her parents were one of the richest people in town.

But the fact that she had the biggest crush on Benny Weir, resident star wars lover, science wiz, and all around huge geek? Unbelievable.

Extremely unbelievable in Benny’s opinion, even if she had grown up in the house across the street from him.

And Y/N wasn’t shy about her crush on him. In fact, she was very unsubtle about it.

She left him hoards of candy in his locker, hung a bouquet of roses for valentine’s day, and stood on a cafeteria table to wish him the grandest of happy birthdays. 

“Benny!” She cooed as she walked down the hallway with some of her other friends, who were currently rolling their eyes so far into the back of their heads that the nerd squad thought they might get stuck.

“Oh, no,” Benny said, a blush spreading across his cheeks as she approached him, Ethan, and Rory, leaving her posse behind.

“Benny, I rented out the entire movie theater for a star wars marathon this weekend, if you’re free?” She asked.

Benny could barely concentrate on what she said because of how close she was. He could smell her sugary perfume and see the school fluorescents shining in her pretty (e/c) eyes.

He stumbled over his words for a minute before spitting out, “Can’t! Already got plans with Ethan, can’t back out, been planning it for months, years, a whole decade. Can’t miss it.”

“We have?”

Benny elbowed Ethan in the ribs.

“Oh. Right, those plans. Yeah.”

You frowned, looking disappointed. “Oh. Okay.”

Your smile returned for a minute. “Can we reschedule then? Is tonight good for you?”

“Ah, well, you know what-”

The screech of the school bell interrupted him and he looked relieved.

“Well, look at that, saved by the bell! Sorry, Y/N, gotta get to class.” He took off down the hallway. It was the fastest Ethan had ever seen Benny run.

You turned to Ethan, looking more devastated than ever. “He hates me, doesn’t he?”

“Who? Benny?” he replied. “No. No, he doesn’t hate you.”

“Then why does he keep giving me excuses? The old Benny would straight up turn me down...” You said, crossing your arms and staring at the floor.

Ethan put a hand on your shoulder. “Hey, Benny absolutely doesn’t hate you. He’s just...nervous, I guess.”

“Nervous?” You echoed. “About what?”

“Well, you’re really popular and he’s...well, he’s Benny. He’s just afraid that you’re gonna leave him for someone like David Stachowski.”

You pulled a face. “Hairy Dave? No thanks. He’s dog.”

“You don’t know the half of it,” Ethan muttered.

“And you guys know I’m the same Y/N, right? Just because I run with a more popular crowd doesn’t mean I stopped liking nerdy things and stopped thinking about my nerdy friends.”

Ethan laughed. “It’s just a big change from how it used to be. You don’t have braces and a star wars backpack anymore.”

You returned the laugh, remembering how you used to be. “Well, I’ll just have to prove it to him. Will you help me?”

Ethan’s face contorted. “Ah, I don’t know...”

“Come on! Help me, Ethan Skywalker! You’re my only hope!”

Ethan sighed. You got him.

“Fine.”

“Yes!” You wrapped him in a hug. “Now let’s get to class!”

***

“Is everything ready?” You asked Ethan over the phone.

“Yeah, good on your end?” He replied.

“Yep. Movie theater is set. All up to you now.”

“On it.” He said before hanging up and shoving the phone in his pocket. He took a deep breath before bursting into Benny’s house and running up the stairs frantically.

“Benny!” Ethan shouted slamming his bedroom door open.

Benny let out a high pitched scream, falling from his desk chair onto the floor.

“They’ve got Y/N!”

“What?!” Benny bolted upright. “Who’s got Y/N?”

“A couple vampires out for revenge. They must have seen us talking at school the other day. They’ve got her trapped at the movie theater-”

“What are we waiting for?” Benny said, bolting out the door passed Ethan. “Let’s go! Grandma I’m taking the car!”

Ethan waved to Benny’s grandmother as he ran passed her, following Benny out the door.

He hoped this worked.

***

Benny parked the car and was about to run into the theater, guns blazing, but Ethan caught his elbow.

“Wait, wait, we can’t just burst in there! Look!” He said, pointing to the sign that read ‘Star Wars Original Trilogy Marathon - Tonight Only!’ People stood in a line out of the theater, dressed to impress in various Star Wars get ups.

Benny cursed. “Of course, the one time we need to get in there quickly they’re having a special screening.”

“We can use the side door,” Ethan said. “And here” - he handed Benny a storm trooper helmet - “we’ve gotta blend in or they’ll see us coming.”

Benny groaned. “They could be sucking her dry right now!”

“They want us, not her. And Y/N is not helpless. And I’ve got Erica and Sarah already in there scoping the place.”

“You called them before me!”

“They’re vampires!”

Benny just grumbled and put the helmet on, crossing his arms.

Ethan rolled his eyes. “Put on the costume and let’s go.”

***

Ethan and Benny snuck through the side door, dressed fully in storm trooper get up.

“This sucks, E. I can’t see a thing in this helmet.”

“What do you want from me, B?” Ethan retorted.

He suddenly let out a gasp and turned to Ethan. “Oh my god, E. This is a New Hope. I’m Han, you’re Luke, and Y/N is Leia. Yes! This is like my perfect dream.”

Ethan groaned. “I wish I could argue with you.”

“Ethan, Benny!”

The two turned to see Sarah and Erica running their way.

“What’re you guys doing here?” Ethan asked.

“What?” Benny turned to Ethan. “You called them, right?”

“Uh-”

“There’s a bunch of vampires here. Some of Jesse’s old friends that want revenge for his death.” Sarah explained.

“They’ve got the whole place on lockdown. They’re planning on locking all the star wars nerds in here and feasting.” Erica said.

“Oh my god, this is exactly like Star Wars!” Benny gushed.

“Yeah, okay, Han Solo, chill.” Ethan said. “But that does give me an idea. Where are they hiding?”

***

Erica scowled as Ethan and Benny led them up the stairs like prisoners. “I never agreed to being Chewbacca.”

“Shh. No choice.” Ethan retorted before pushing open the door to the control room.

There were three vampires sitting in there, they were staring out the small window, watching the movie before turning to the now open door.

“Who are you? And what have you here?” One of them sneered.

“We’re with you. Had to dress up to blend in. Caught these two trying to pull the fire alarm. Thought you might want to deal with them.”

Erica hissed at them and the leader, grabbed her by the chin. “Such a pretty face. Shame we’ll have to kill you.”

Erica kneed him in the crotch, making him groan.

“Look out! They’re loose!” Benny quoted, letting go of Sarah’s arms so that she could assist in beating the crap out of the three of them.

It was a good thing that Star Wars was a rather loud movie or the crowd might have been alarmed by all of the noise.

“All right, you scum,” Benny said, grabbing one that was barely conscious. “Where’s Y/N?”

“Benny-”

“Tell me!”

“Benny!”

“What?” Benny yelled at Ethan.

“They don’t have her. This was supposed to be a surprise for you. We were gonna find her in one of the empty rooms in the theater and then she was gonna take you to an empty theater and you two were gonna watch the marathon together. But now she’s alone in a room with a bunch of vampires around.”

“What?” Benny shouted. “For the love of- You go and get her, we’ll hold them here.”

“You mean we” - Erica gestured between her and Sarah - “will hold them.”

“Yeah, whatever, just go her!”

Benny pulled off the helmet and sighed.

“She really likes you, you know.” Sarah said.

“Come on,” Benny said with a bitter laugh. “Maybe right now, but once she gets me she’ll be off to the next guy in a week. That’s how they all are.”

“Not Y/N.” Erica replied. “She doesn’t get around. Never has. Her last boyfriend was a dick so if she’s pursuing you, she must really like you.”

Benny sighed. “Yeah, I know. I’m just scared. We kinda run in two different circles now, you know?”

“And you can’t overlap? According to what? The rules of high school? The world isn’t so black and white, Benny.” Sarah encouraged.

****

Ethan rushed down the hallway, looking on the door numbers for 2187 (a number you had modified for the surprise).

“Yes!” Ethan said, reaching the door. He quickly pulled it open to find you laying there on a table, decked out in an impressive Princess Leia costume. It looked like you’d fallen asleep.

“Y/N!” He called and you sat up.

“Aren’t you a little short for a stormtrooper?” You said cheekily. “Where’s Benny?”

Ethan rolled his eyes, pulling off his helmet. “No time!”

“Come on, say the line!”

“What? No, you don’t understand-”

“Ethan! Say the line!” You whined.

He sighed. “I’m Ethan Skywalker, I’m here to rescue you.”

You grinned broadly. “Thank you.”

“But seriously, I’m rescuing you. There are vampires here, and we need to get back to Benny, Sarah, and Erica.

“What?” You shouted, processing the information.

“Sarah and Erica are vampires. Good ones. But there are evil ones here that are planning on sucking the souls out of everyone in the theater and we’ve got to get them and you out of here.”

“What? Where’s Benny?”

“Come on!” Ethan encouraged and, just like the movie, you ran out first despite not knowing where you were going.

***

You met back up with Benny, Sarah, and Erica in the hallway, as they were backed against the wall with more vampires on the way.

“Where are they all coming from?” Sarah said, spraying a holy water gun and knocking one down.

“I don’t know but I know for sure we can’t get out that way.” Benny said.

“Looks like you cut off our only escape route. All the doors are that way!” You replied.

“Oh, I’m sorry, perhaps you'd like it back in your cell, Princess Leia!” Benny bit back at you sarcastically.

“Ethan, are the sprinklers still lined with holy water?”

“I don’t know. I never did anything to take it out.”

“Let’s give it a try!” Erica said, pulling out her lighter and holding it up to the sprinkler above her head, covering herself with her leather jacket and Sarah holding up an umbrella she had been using as a weapon.

The water almost immediately started spraying out, setting off the fire alarm and soaking the vampires attacking you, burning and hissing all the way down.

“What is your problem?” You hissed at Benny.

“Well, we wouldn’t be cornered if you hadn’t lured me here! And by using Ethan! I feel betrayed!”

“Oh, I’m sorry for trying to prove to you that I like you!”

“Ha! If you really liked me you wouldn’t have become so popular! Leaving your real friends to rot in geek town!”

“That wasn’t my fault! I did what I liked! You guys are the ones who thought I needed to change just because I did similar activities to the other rich kids!”

“Guys!” Ethan interrupted. “Not the time! We need a way out. Now.”

“Oh for the love of-” You rolled your eyes and opened up the trash cute. “Everybody in!”

“Ew. Do we have to go full star wars?” Sarah asked.

“Would you rather chance the holy water river?” You replied, pointing to the floor that was slowly filling up with more water.

“Good point. Let’s go!”

Sarah entered first, followed by Erica, then Ethan, then you, then Benny.

You all were spit out into the dumpster that was full of candy wrappers, old popcorn, and soda cups.

Erica toppled into Sarah and Ethan rammed into her. You managed to avoid their collision only to have Benny slam into you from behind.

You all groaned at the impact and rolled around for a minute, picking popcorn and sticky candy out of your hair and clothes.

“Oh, I’m gonna need a shower.” Ethan groaned.

“After this I think you all deserve a spa.” You said. “I’ll buy.”

“You better.”

“Well, that was not how I foresaw this night going,” You said, standing up with the others and pulling a candy wrapper out of your hair.

Benny stood up, picking garbage off his clothes, and let out a chuckle. “What? Did you think that I was gonna give in just because of your big gesture?”

You turned on him with fiery eyes. “Would you just get it through your thick skull? I like you, okay? I’m not gonna break up with you in a week, I’m not gonna cheat on you, I’m not gonna try to convert you to a jock. Benny I’ve liked you since third grade! I just got enough confidence to tell you and you keep avoiding me every chance you get! If you don’t like me would you just tell me? It would save me a lot of time and money!”

“Not that that would be a problem for you, rich girl!”

“Well, I’m sorry my parents are wealthy! I’m sorry you live with your grandmother and not in a mansion! We’re different but quit painting me as the villain in your pathetic hero story!”

You both were fuming at each other. Erica, Sarah, and Ethan were standing with wide eyes watching this go down.

“Well, maybe if you had just stuck with your real friends we wouldn’t be in this situation!”

“I did! You guys are the ones who treated me like I’d been converted to a cult!”

“Not much different!”

“What is your problem with popular people? You have some sort of nerd code that says you can’t get along with them? Weren’t you the one who was friends with David Stachowski?”

“That’s a different story! He chose us!”

“So did I!”

“No. You didn’t choose us, you chose to have sleepovers with the cheerleaders and go to country club parties and be homecoming queen!”

“I can have more than one group of friends, you know? But do you know who I had hoped would be there for me when I needed it? You guys. Ethan was. You’re the one who keeps running away from me!”

“Well, I’m sorry I think I’m not good enough for you!”

“You’ve always been good enough for me!”

“Well, then I guess I’m saying yes!”

“To what?”

“Everything. All of it. Every date you’ve asked me on, every invitation to a dance, every declaration of love. Yes. I love you. Yes.”

Tears were in your eyes now and you threw yourself into his arms, burying your face into his neck.

Benny hugged you back, as tightly as he could without hurting you.

“You smell like garbage,” you whispered.

He laughed. “So do you.”

Suddenly there was clapping from behind you.

You turned to see Erica slow-clapping. “Well, as much fun and as that rom-com moment was. Can we get out of the dumpster now?”

And you did.

It was safe to say your Leia dress was probably ruined, but you would probably keep it anyway.

Benny held your hand all the way to the car.

You hoped this was the start of something wonderful.

[jackrrabbit]

spank bank HCs /// Oikawa, Atsumu, and Kuroo x s/o (18+)

A/N: Been thinking about how the hq boys practice self-love 😏 Kind of a palate cleanser, I want to do this for more characters haha

Tags/warnings: pornography, masturbation, sex, edging, lots of mentions of different porn categories, Kuroo is a little shit, all characters are 18 or older

Oikawa Tōru

Oikawa has a weird relationship with conventional porn. On one hand, he’s a young healthy guy with an equally healthy sex drive, and what can he say, he likes watching girls get pounded

On the other hand, the kind of porn you find on sites like PH is always ugly men fucking beautiful women, and as a pretty boy Oikawa finds it hard to identify with. Like where is the justice??? How is it supposed to be believable that a gorgeous woman in her twenties is really moaning that hard for an aging male pornstar with more hair on his chest than on his head?

So he opts for the perfect alternative: camgirls!

He has three or four different channels that he bounces between. His favorites are the ones that are well-lit, nicely produced, high quality film and lots of eye contact. He never interacts or chats with them though, he’s kind of a lurker

Very very into solo acts and toys. You know those sites that let you control the speed of a girl’s vibrator by donating certain amounts of money? Oikawa lives for those. All his pocket change goes toward camgirls, it’s a real problem

Once the two of you start dating, Oikawa’s sexual needs are mostly sated because…well, he’s got you, and you’re a hundred times hotter than any random girl on the internet. But once in a while it’ll still happen that your schedules don’t line up or you’re on your period or it just doesn’t work out, and he’ll get pent up again

When that happens, he’ll return to his old stand-by channels. It’ll be kinda nostalgic getting off to girls fucking themselves with glass dildos or grinding on vibrators in front of the webcam

But the problem, the problem is that he can’t get you out of his head, and when he’s looking at “jasm1neXXX” doing her cute little striptease, he keeps feeling like he’s betraying you :(

So Oikawa bids a regretful goodbye to his old favorite camgirls, and begins the search for one who looks like you. The resemblance doesn’t have to be perfect, it can be something small—hair that matches your color, a moan that falls into a huff of breath like you do—just enough that he can imagine that she’s you

Definitely never tells you that he gets off to porn. Feels guilty about it even if you wouldn’t care ➳

Miya Atsumu

Kinda the opposite of Oikawa when it comes to porn. His preferences are extremely fuckboyish

Into a little bit of everything. Lesbian, gangbang, bondage, creampie, step-sibling, whatever. You name it, he’s seen it, and he’s probably jacked off to it. The only thing he’s resolutely not into is amateur stuff. Atsumu doesn’t fuck with that low-budget bullshit

Definitely not here for the storyline though—he’ll skip ahead in the video past the setup (seriously, who gives a fuck about why the babysitter decided to spread her legs for the the pizza delivery guy) so he can get to the good part

Into edging. To spice things up a bit if he’s got at least an hour of free time he’ll go through a bunch of different videos, jerking himself off slowly while he watches a pretty girl get wrecked, up until he feels his stomach drop and he’s riiiiight about to cum when he’ll stop. Wait. Let himself fall down a little bit, hold back, drop away from the edge. And start another video just so he can do it all over again

Atsumu doesn’t really know…why he likes edging. It’s very frustrating. It makes him antsy and horny and tense, so he’s not sure why he does it. Once when he was doing it, he got interrupted and couldn’t finish until ages later and it was probably the most unpleasant thing he’s ever felt that wasn’t physical pain. He was seriously this fucking close 👌 to smacking the shit out of the person who interrupted him (it was Osamu complaining that he was sick of getting sexiled for over an hour)

It just…feels good, okay? It feels real good to finally get to cum after he’s been edging. Jerking off every other day can get old, so a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do

Favorite category is probably public sex! The possibility of other people overseeing is so fucking hot

Overall, Atsumu has a pretty high sex drive and feels zero guilt about watching porn. Even if you guys are dating, he has needs and you’re not always around to help with them, so that’s where PH and XV come in

Absolutely not shy about it with you. Legit if he’s watching something he wants to try that he just saw in a porno, he will not hesitate to text you the link and be like “hey watch this n tell me what ya think”

Even if you’re not the type to be appreciative of his porn recommendations, he will still def take notes from what he watches and apply them irl. Atsumu is plenty aware that porn is unrealistic, but he’s more than capable of sifting out the good from the bad, and it helps him be…let’s say creative in bed

Want to know where he learned that new move or that extremely bendy position? You don’t have to wonder. It’s porn. He learned it from porn ◎

Kuroo Tetsurō

Kuroo tends to get in a bit of a dilemma because he likes sex and his sex drive is through the roof, but he Does Not. Like. Masturbating.

He much, much prefers to have sex with a partner—to be fair, who doesn’t?—but Kuroo will take it to an extreme. If he’s not able to see you, he’ll go weeks without touching his dick for any reason that isn’t pissing or washing

Literally...a couple months after you started dating, his family made him come on a three-week vacation to Hawaii and when he came back he complained that it was the worst three weeks of his life

“You were in a tropical paradise getting a tan and you’re acting like it was a war zone. Stop whining.” “But baby, you weren’t there! I was so horny, you have no idea, I thought I was going to die, I thought my dick was going to fall off—“

It gets annoying.

When he gets his hands on you after a decent period apart, he’ll be like “I saved myself up for you baby <3” and you’re like “um, ew, why are you so gross”

If he doesn’t wear a condom with you, be prepared for the fact that he cums a lot. A lot. You’ll be in the shower afterward cleaning up and it’s like, there’s more? There’s still fucking more???

You ask Kuroo once why he doesn’t like jacking off, kind of awkwardly, after a four-round fuckfest that left you too shaky to even hold your hips off the bed, and he pauses for a second to think about it before answering

“Well…imagine you have a choice between two meals. One of them is a gourmet steak from a five-star restaurant, and the other one is…hm, a McDonald’s hamburger. You can have the burger whenever you want it, but the steak is only available once in a while because it’s rare and you have to appreciate it when you have it. Which would you choose?”

Okay, fine. That’s kind of cute

It’s less cute when you guys are apart and Kuroo gets really desperate, desperate enough that you get 6 texts in a row from him at 1 in the morning implying that he’s in some kind of dire emergency

“babe”

“BABE”

“911”

“🆘❌⚠️🆘”

“please I need ur help it’s important”

“call me asap”

You call him all frantic, asking him if he needs you to call the cops or something. Is he in trouble? Hurt? Is there a home invader threatening his life?

Nope, he’s totally fine, he’s just horny and wants to have phone sex. That son of a bitch

If you tell him off badly enough, Kuroo will relent and make do without you. He will, however, request nudes to help him through this difficult time

Send thoughts and prayers instead ✷

[calwrites]

Star Star Tours

Summary: You and Sebastian have been dating for a while now, but the public doesn’t know that yet. Keeping your secret causes some tension on James Corden’s Star Star Tours.

Pairing: Sebastian Stan x actress!reader

This is my first time writing for Marvel, so I hope people enjoy! It’s just something that I wrote really quick, but I love the bus tour video, and I thought this could be a cute story. Also, Sebastian was not in nearly enough of the disposable camera pictures.

It was no secret that press tours could be draining. Being stuck in a room for multiple days while people keep asking you the same questions over and over again even though they know that you can’t really answer them. And considering how big Infinity War is, it was no surprise that there were even more interviews than usual.

That was why you had been so excited when you had heard about James Corden’s bus tour. Getting to spend the day outside, surrounded by some of your costars, sounded like a vacation compared to being stuck in a chair all day. There was no doubt in your mind that it would be chaos. Of course, you would do you best to add to that chaos.

Still, as you glanced over at your boyfriend, you thought that maybe press tours weren’t all that bad. You and Sebastian had met while filming Civil War, but you hadn’t really talked much. Sebastian was pretty quiet, and you had worried that he found your loudness annoying, so you had focused on befriending your costars who seemed more receptive to your large personality.

It wasn’t until the press tour that you actually got to know Sebastian. You weren’t sure if you had been partnered with Sebastian and Anthony because someone thought Anthony might ease your nerves about your first Marvel press tour or if they hoped being stuck with two people as outgoing as you and Anthony might force Sebastian out of his shell. Either way, the three of you had been a hit that press tour. More importantly, Sebastian had asked you out shortly after Civil War premiered.

The two of you had been dating ever since. It had made interviews a bit difficult for both of you though. You had decided to keep your relationship private. In theory, you were going to go public after a few months, but the two of you had enjoyed having a part of your lives that was actually private. It was a surprise that no one had let it slip, considering both Tom Holland and Mark Ruffalo knew about the relationship. Still, it was hard ignoring dating rumors every time someone thought you must be with whatever costar you had smiled at that week.

“What are you thinking about?” Sebastian asked, glancing at you before looking back the road. He took one hand off the wheel and grabbed your hand, entwining your fingers.

“Nothing.” You knew that Sebastian wouldn’t buy it. Not when he had seen your goofy grin.

“Nothing? Wanna try again?”

“What if we went to the premiere together?” You kept your eyes on your hand, still entwined with Sebastian’s.

“Like together together?” Sebastian took his hand back so he could turn into the parking lot of the studio. You tried not to notice the slight frown that he wore as he thought about your idea.

“We don’t have to. It’s just that it’s been almost two years. I thought it could be a good time. Maybe everyone will be so focused on the movie that we wouldn’t be big news.” Sebastian didn’t answer as he parked. You could already see a producer rushing over to the car, no doubt to get your ready for the tour. “You don’t have to answer now. Let’s just enjoy the tour and we can talk about it later.”

Sebastian nodded in agreement and the two of you climbed out of the car and made your way over towards the bus.

After you got your mic and everything, you climbed up to the top of the bus, where James gave you a name tag after doing a little bit. Immediately, you rushed to the front row and took the seat next to Lizzie. The two of you had clicked immediately while filming Civil War, and she had been one of your best friends ever since. 

You noticed that Sebastian waited for a few more people to get on before he climbed on and took a seat at the back next to Winston. You tried not to read too much into the fact that he was sitting as far away from you as possible. It was possible, probable even, that he was keeping his distance just so neither of you slipped up on camera. It was a tactic you used quite often. But it was also possible that you had freaked him out when you proposed going public and now he was going to avoid you.

Shaking off the doubts in your head, you picked up the disposable camera that you had been given and started snapping pictures as everyone settled in. To your relief, Sebastian gave you a smile and a small wave when you pointed the camera at Paul and Letitia, catching him in the background. Before it could descend into total chaos, the bus began moving and the tour started.

You and Lizzie almost died laughing when Benedict had to put sunscreen on James’s legs, but he had a point. “Does anyone need face sunscreen?” you asked, waving the bottle of face sunscreen that you had thrown in your purse at the last minute. Very pointedly, you turned to Benedict and Hiddleston. “I’m looking at you two.”

“We get it, Y/N,” Anthony yelled from the back. “You’re a mom friend.” You stuck your tongue out in reply, mainly because flipping him off didn’t seem very TV friendly. Nevertheless, your sunscreen got passed around the bus. Paul tried to give it back to you without putting any on, claiming that he didn’t need any, which resulted in you and Lizzie basically wrestling him and putting it on his face yourselves. The laugh died in your throat as you began turning back to the front and caught sight of Sebastian’s grumpy face. You raised your eyebrows, but he looked away.

“What’s up with him?” Lizzie asked quietly. Apparently she had seen his expression too. You could only hope that no camera had caught it.

“Tell you later.” You tapped slightly on your mic and Lizzie nodded.

Luckily James began the tour before you could dwell on it any more. Between Don’s exaggerated pose when he took a picture of the coffee shop, getting into trouble with James for being “disruptive,” and the singalong, which you got way too into, you had almost forgotten about Sebastian’s stormy expression.

“This is actually Barbara Streisand’s holiday home,” James said, pointing at some strange, red building. “She actually designed it herself.”

“Is that true, Josh?” you called, spinning around so you could face him.

Josh shook his head. “Absolutely not.”

“Well what do you know? You’re just the bad guy. You’re just trying to cause trouble,” James complained.

“She’s his stepmom, so I think I trust him a bit more than you, James. Sorry.” You shrugged innocently at him before turning back around the air high five Josh. Again, as you were turning back to the front, you caught Sebastian’s eye. He was basically glaring at you.

“What?” you mouthed at him, which of course everyone behind you saw, causing them to turn to look at Sebastian too.

“Y/N, I am trying to give a tour, and you are being disruptive once again. I need eyes up front please.”

“But James,” you whined, huffing in your seat like a little kid, “Sebastian keeps looking at me. Tell him to stop.”

“Sebastian, I need all eyes on me, please. I am the reason you all paid to be here-”

“We have to pay for this?” Hiddleston asked, but James continued as if he hadn’t said anything.

“-so I need you to stop looking at Y/N and pay attention to me.”

“I didn’t even look at her. What am I not allowed to look around now?” Sebastian answered a bit too hotly. There was a brief moment where you could feel everyone look between the two of you, even James and Reggie, who had no idea why it was so strange that Sebastian had snapped like that.

“Geez, Mackie, control your man,” you joked, trying desperately to diffuse the tension.

“No way. Sebastian is not my man. He’s sitting with Winston, so he’s Winston’s problem today,” Mackie yelled back. Luckily, this caused Winston and Anthony to start bickering about who had to take care of Sebastian during the tour. Sebastian, of course, hated the attention and eventually agreed to behave and even gave you a very child-like “Sorry, Y/N.” You stuck your tongue out in response and turned back to give James your full attention.

You all continued the act of disconnected celebrities as James explained what waiting in line was. Hoping to get a better view of the “normal people,” you tried to stand on your chair like you were ogling some animal at the zoo, but almost immediately at least five different people were yelling at you to get down. Apparently it “wasn’t safe” to stand on top of chairs on top of a moving bus.

“Excuse me. I don’t mean to interrupt, but I have to use the bathroom. Can I use the bathroom?” You didn’t turn around this time, worried about seeing Sebastian staring at you again. Instead, you focused on the faux apologetic look on James’s face.

“I’m really sorry. The problem is that the rules on the tour is that you have to have appeared in three or more Marvel movies to use the bathroom. End credits scenes don’t count. Y/N, do you have to use the bathroom?”

“I haven’t been in three movies,” you pointed out.

“That’s right, you haven’t. So I hope you don’t have to use the bathroom. Tom Hiddleston, do you need to use the bathroom?”

“I’m actually okay.”

“Oh, so sorry Y/N. Sorry Josh. Maybe you should ask your stepmom Barbra Streisand if you can use the bathroom at her holiday home.”

“I don’t even have to go,” you protested as Lizzie died laughing next to you.

“Well that’s good because you can’t. Now, does anyone die in the next Avengers?”

The bus was quiet as you all looked at each other. Finally, Paul yelled, “Snitches end up in ditches!”

“I thought they got stitches first,” you whispered to Lizzie.

“Apparently Paul is skipping that part,” she replied. The two of you gave each other a look before dissolving into giggles at the thought of Paul actually throwing someone in a ditch.

The tour continued with more of James’s jokes before he had the bus pull over at a comic shop. A part of you was nervous to go inside. While most of the fans that you had met were nice, you knew that there were still a lot of comic fans who didn’t like your character, or how you played your character, or that you had been cast, or whatever. You gave Lizzie’s hand a nervous squeeze, which she returned, but really you wanted to be holding Sebastian’s hand. You were each other’s biggest supporter. Whenever one of you was feeling nervous, the other was normally right there to offer support.

But instead, you walked in separately.

Luckily, everyone seemed too starstruck to gripe about anything. It ended up being a pretty nice time. You signed some comics and chatted to some fans. One girl even told you about a tattoo dedicated to your character that she was going to get. You almost had a heart attack when she asked you to write down her favorite line of yours, so that she could add that to the tattoo. Afterwards, Mackie had teased you about how much your hand was shaking when you were writing it. It looked like Sebastian was about to say something, but then a camera was suddenly in your face and he disappeared to the other side of the store.

After buying a couple of comics for yourself, you and Lizzie found yourselves in the corner of the store playing with a Scarlet Witch doll that you had bought for her. You didn’t notice when she looked up with a small frown on her face, but you did feel the hand that came to rest on your waist. You looked around quickly, making sure that no cameras were on you, before meeting Sebastian’s eyes.

“What are you doing, Seb?” you whispered. Without you realizing, Lizzie snuck away to give the two of you some privacy. Or as much privacy as you can get when you’re wearing a mic and possibly being filmed.

“I just wanted to say I’m sorry about earlier. I guess I just got kind of jealous and I snapped a little.”

“Jealous?” You put your hand on Sebastian’s arm to keep him in place when you felt him begin to back away. “Jealous about what, Sebastian?”

“I don’t know.” He waved his hand around a bit at the rest of the group. “Just seeing your hands all over Paul and joking around with everyone around you.”

“Lizzie and I were forcibly putting sunscreen on Paul. I did that to you before we left the house this morning. I don’t think you have anything to be jealous about.” You couldn’t help but roll your eyes at him.

“Sometimes it just feels like you always have everyone’s attention and you’re joking around with all of them and you never pay attention to me.” You pressed your lips together to keep from laughing at the adorable pout on Sebastian’s face. “And I know that we kind of have to ignore each other sometimes because we don’t want people to know about us, but I just always wish that I could be joking around with you too. I have so much fun talking to you and being around you, and seeing other people having fun around you when I can’t is just annoying sometimes. It’s like I always want to be right next to you.”

You placed a gentle hand on Sebastian’s cheek, making him meet your eyes. “I always want to be next to you too. And most of the time when I’m joking around with other people, I’m wishing that you were there too. But right now, we should get back to the others. It’ll be a miracle if we haven’t been caught on camera.”

“Oh I asked Anthony to make sure that no one would be paying attention to this side of the store.”

“Is that why he’s been yelling for the past few minutes?”

“He’s the best choice for a distraction, unfortunately.” You grinned at Sebastian as you wrapped your arms around him. Smiling back, he planted a quick kiss on your forehead.

“That’s way too bold,” you scolded him. Still, you couldn’t help but laugh. “There’s no way we would be able to explain that away if anyone saw. Way too many questions.”

You began to walk away, but Sebastian pulled you back to him. “Let them ask questions. The premiere is soon and they’ll have their answers then.”

“Oh they will?” You raised your eyebrows in mock confusion.

“Of course. When we go together. How does that sound?”

“Sounds like a date.” The two of you smiled at each other and were about to lean in for a kiss when Anthony was suddenly pulling Sebastian away.

“Break it up, lovebirds. I thought I was providing a distraction so you two could make up, not so you could make out. Now come on, Sebastian. We need to take a picture with that Spiderman statue outside.” 

Sebastian gave you a shrug as Anthony dragged him outside. You rolled your eyes at their antics, then followed the rest of the cast as they began to make their way outside and back to the bus. You had stopped to admire Benedict’s drawing skills when Lizzie was suddenly clutching your arm and squealing. She, of course, had seen everything, though she assured you that everyone had tried their best to be as entertaining as possible on the other side of the store, so that no cameras would be on you.

You wore a smile for the rest of the tour. Lizzie kept teasing you every time you and Sebastian would sneak glances at each other. Not that you could really sneak glances when you had to turn around constantly to look at him. Once again, you got way too into the singalong. This time, Sebastian yelled encouragement at you as you sang off key.

By the time you reached the studio again, you had decided that this was really the best way to do a press tour. You waved goodbye to James and Hemsworth and you climbed off the bus. Before you could take more than a few steps, Sebastian had picked you up and was spinning you around.

“How have you two not spilled the beans yet?” Paul asked as everyone watched in amusement.

“You weren’t even being subtle at the comic shop,” Benedict pointed out.

“Y’all are lucky that the cameras love me so much that they weren’t looking at you,” Mackie joked.

Apparently, the cameras didn’t love Mackie as much as he thought. When the video came out, some eagle eyed fans spotted the two of you looking cozy in the background of a shot. Some people argued that it was impossible to say for certain that it was you and Sebastian, but your Twitter and Instagram notifications were full of people asking if you and Sebastian were dating.

The two of you decided to ignore the questions. Lucky for you, Marvel made it very clear to all of the interviewers that there should be no questions about anyone’s personal lives. All focus was to be on the movie. So you kept the fans guessing until the two of you showed up to the premiere arm in arm.

Unfortunately, there were plenty of people more focused on your relationship than on the movie, so there were plenty of articles about the two of you. Apparently, you were Marvel’s new power couple. As long as you had Sebastian, that was a title you could live with.