#or what you did today

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Hey now, Let her cook!

[cyancees]

i have neither a good imagination nor aphantasia, but a secret third thing

[damndorothea]

i saw this somewhere else but reply / tag what you did today so everyone can see that we all did something different today

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[starwarjotta]

looking for someone on Tatooine

[blakbonnet]

as an indian person, my favourite thing is seeing what people who aren't from here have done with my food; i'll go to an indian restaurant in a random corner of the world and they're putting oregano in their palak paneer or a balsamic wash on their naan and it's like "yes good tell me how you folded your culture into mine and came out with something new and lovely, we're holding hands across oceans bestie"

[yanderespamton78]

Edit since a lot of people seem confused - your "real" name is the name that you want to be referred to in real life. It doesn't have to be your legal name. So if you're trans and you have a different name to whats on your birth certificate, even if not many people call you by the name, it still counts as your real name.

Edit 2 : Holy shit guys please stop reblogging this post my poor inbox im getting like 20 notifs an hour asjfhkajshdkh /lh /srs

[justarandomart]

its him! the bastard shape!

[wttcsms]

kageyama is the type of person who falls in love and starts practicing casual intimacy with you, but he never establishes the fact that the two of you are in a relationship. he just assumes that you two are, and he figures that if you’re receptive to his actions, then obviously you must also agree that you two are dating. it’s why he’s so confused on your confusion when he’s texting you, and in the middle of casual conversation, he just asks “oh by the way, did you eat today?” it makes you pause because that was not what the conversation was about at all. lately, kageyama doesn’t treat you like a friend with benefits. when you got locked out of your second floor apartment, he’s the one you called to break into it; no situationship who doesn’t care about you would commit breaking and entering in broad daylight, especially since you definitely weren’t any help. and he didn’t even get mad at you when after he did manage to break in, you remembered you left your key in your back pocket. instead, he was more upset over the fact that you don’t lock your windows (he proceeds to lock them for you; every time he comes over, he checks to make sure they stay locked for your safety. if he can scale the building, some desperate creep can too). he blows on your food to cool it down when you get too excited to eat. he keeps your preferred shampoo and conditioner in a value size bottle inside of his shower for when you spend the night. add all of this along with his random question of did you eat today, it’s no wonder why you reply back “kageyama, what are we?”

three dots appear and a second later,

“we’re dating.”

well, you might as well be. the next time you see him in person, you tell him that he should at least ask about these things first. so he does formally ask you to be his girlfriend, and his first request as your official boyfriend is for you to change his contact name to tobio, not kageyama. the heart you add after it makes the cutest blush appear on your boyfriend’s cheeks.

[pancakemolybdenum]

2015 called, it wants its cloudball back. redrawing things yet again.....

original here

dress design by @rumminov

[obsob]

one thing u can count on me for is being normal about Some Guy

process under cut where u can see me losing my mind trying 2 figure out what i was doing in real time! :3

[xxplastic-cubexx]

oh noooo or whatever

bonus aka The Real Motive Behind This:

SURPRISE double bonus. textless ver of the first pic under the cut

[regulusrules]

Do I know you? // I thought I knew you.

BBC Merlin (2008) - s01e01 // s05e13 parallel

[aimseytv]

a new way to view the world

[skylersprompts]

DC x DP Prompt *23*

He really should sleep more. But for that he would have to cut some of his responsibilities off and that was just not possible at this time. He was in the middle of training as the Ancient of Balance, the GIW was too active and he needed to update the new servers over the weekend for the company.

So really, it wasn't on him for not getting enough sleep. He needed the money, he had to help his friends and without his lessons he wouldn't be able to control his powers.

On the other hand, he may have just said something stupid.

The Justice League may have summoned the Ancient of Balance, because of some threat. And maybe his co-workers had called the IT Department one to many times in the last few days. But it really wasn't an excuse for his greeting:

"Have you tried turning it off and on again?"

Yeah, maybe he needs a little bit more sleep...

[skunkes]