#Danny is so done

[zylev-blog]

Danny: Hell didn’t want me when I died, and heaven cast me out. So now I’m stuck in between on this little place called Earth. Sometimes I like to think it’s my own personal hell, but who am I to judge?

Tim, who was on day 5 of being awake: have you tried to fight god?

Danny: oh, I did, and I won. But the bastard is manipulative and decided that I wasn’t allowed in heaven because of pure spite.

Tim: interesting. Do you still want to fight gods?

Danny: depends. Me and Hades are under a truce, and Zeus kicked me out of Olympus. Sometimes I thought about fighting with Wonder Woman to get a rise from Zeus, but Hippolyta told me I wouldn’t be invited for dinner if I messed with her daughter, sooo….

Tim, pulling out his phone: cool, cool, so his name is darkseid, and he’s an asshole

Danny: say no more

[skylersprompts]

DC x DP Prompt *23*

He really should sleep more. But for that he would have to cut some of his responsibilities off and that was just not possible at this time. He was in the middle of training as the Ancient of Balance, the GIW was too active and he needed to update the new servers over the weekend for the company.

So really, it wasn't on him for not getting enough sleep. He needed the money, he had to help his friends and without his lessons he wouldn't be able to control his powers.

On the other hand, he may have just said something stupid.

The Justice League may have summoned the Ancient of Balance, because of some threat. And maybe his co-workers had called the IT Department one to many times in the last few days. But it really wasn't an excuse for his greeting:

"Have you tried turning it off and on again?"

Yeah, maybe he needs a little bit more sleep...

[mayberrycryptid]

😂

[bet-on-me-13]

Bruce owes Danny money. He does Not want to pay up.

So! Danny had to run away from Amity Park when his parents discovered his Powers. But every time he tried to stay in a single place in America, they somehow managed to find him.

Turns out, they were working with the GIW to track him using the GIW's resources and the Fenton's Genius to find him everywhere he ran to. Eventually, Danny figured he had had enough and ran to Europe where the GIW had no Jurisdiction.

After wandering for a while, Danny was found and recruited by the League of Assasins. He was powerful, skilled, and connected to the Lazarus Pits, so they approached him with a job offer.

They would hide him from the Fentons, who had began to search for him in Europe independently, and in return he would work for them as an Assasin.

Considering his situation, Danny agreed.

He began training to be an Assasin, supplementing his Ghost Abilities with the abilities of an Assasin to become even more Stealthy.

While training under the League, Danny met another recruit simply known as Bruce. They trained together for years, even going on a few missions together gathering intel, and using disguises to hid in plain sight.

On one of these missions, Danny lent Bruce some money with the promise to get paid back when they returned to the League. That same night, Bruce left the League of Assasins and never came back.

...

Bruce was sitting in the Batcave going over a case with Tim, Jason was off to the side cleaning his Guns, and Dick and Cass were holding an acrobatics competition in their Obstacle Course, with Damien, Steph, and Duke cheering them on.

Suddenly an Eldritch Emerald Light sprang to life in the center of the Batcave, and everybody dropped what they were doing and sprang to action.

Slowly, a glowing green figure emerged from the Light. He appeared Eldritch in Nature, as if he existed in multiple layers of reality at once and looking at him gave them minor headaches. Then, the figure spoke up.

"BRUCE. ITS BEEN 15 YEARS. YOU STILL OWE ME 16 DOLLARS."

Recognizing Danny, Bruce took a moment to compose himself before responding.

"Fuck Off."

[wanologic]

fortunately, or unfortunately, they only see each other like 3 times a year…

[medusas-graveyard]

Pre-GIW disbandment

Dick: Where's Danny?

Alfred: Young master Danny has requested more time to rest and will be joining us quite later.

Damian: (stabbing food) Tt. He acts like the most fatigued person here.

Danny: (Walking in half asleep) Because convincing gods to not scorch this planet down to the fucking sun is, Dames. Let me off.

[lirabuswavi]

Danny: You think because they're the same species as me they'll listen? No. Some people just hate and hate because they WANT TO. I can't change people. Some people just don't care. I'm fourteen. It's not my job to fix other people. YOU break them up. You volunteered for this, you want to fix it, you go ahead and try. There is no right side here, and so few are willing to listen. I was on my own. Now it's your turn.

“That’s it! I give up!” Phantom yelled. As though he had said something blasphemous, all fighting stopped as the participants stared in confusion. “You humans think you’re the paragon of all existence, proclaiming that anything different is lesser. Well we aren’t! We’re just as sentient as you are, and we have thoughts and feelings! You just choose to ignore it so you can justify your xenophobic actions!”

Phantom turned to Technus, who had frozen in shock as Phantom went on his tirade. “And you! Tell the other ghosts I’m done saving them, too, because none of you care! You don’t care if property is destroyed, or if humans get hurt, or if other ghosts get hurt! All you care about is your stupid Obsessions! You’re too caught up in your own mind to see what you’re doing to everyone around you!”

“But your Obsession is Protection, is it not? You’ve never stepped down from a fight-“ Technus began. Phantom didn’t let him finish.

“My Obsession is Space! If I had my way, I’d spend my nights stargazing, or maybe even on the moon! Instead I’m stuck cleaning up your messes because you can’t control yourselves!” Phantom growled. He glared at the crowd of people who had gathered, curious as to why all fighting had stopped.

“Humans are cruel and hateful. Ghosts are ignorant and careless. I’m tired of wasting my time protecting both sides from the other and being blamed for it. I quit. If anyone dies, or is captured, it’s no longer my problem.“

Like that, Phantom vanished.

The Fentons celebrated, not even noticing Technus make his own escape. The crowd murmured, worry just as prevalent as confidence. The few phones that were recording the event were put away, and later the footage would be checked. Unfortunately, most recordings were corrupted beyond recognition.

Most, but not all.

——————————————————

Amity Park. Ground Zero for the start of the war between the Living and the Dead. Humanity and Ghosts.

Why it had only recently escalated to this, Batman couldn’t tell. His research found that there had been a portal opened to the Realms years ago, and the laws passed just a year after that. Most of the town was stuck behind an information blackout that the government refused to give access to. Whatever happened, Constantine assured him that it was almost certainly the government’s fault.

After almost three weeks of trying to get beyond the firewalls, he finally figured it out. “Research” that claimed ghosts were nothing but evil. News articles calling “Phantom” a troublemaker. Forums that spoke about how “Phantom” ruined the town while fighting other ghosts.

A video, old and grainy but still clear enough to be used as evidence. A glowing, white-haired boy that told everyone he was done. That he was tired of fixing everything. Of saving everyone. That nobody was good, everyone was bad, and they were on their own.

They used to have a hero, but Phantom left. Without him, both sides tore at each other until there was nothing but an all-out assault. They needed to stop this, but without a mediator they would not make it through to the ghosts.

If they could find Phantom, perhaps they could fix everything before it was too late.

[corkinavoid]

DPxDC De-Aged Triplets and Their Tired Single Sister

Jason has seen the four of them a couple of times in Crime Alley now. They looked like a family, what with similar facial features- err, actually, the kids looked like carbon copies of each other, but their mom/sister/aunt/cousin looked similar enough to be related to them by blood.

Normally, Jason didn't care for each and every family that moved into Crime Alley. Sure, he cared about all of them as a whole, but there were a lot of people, and he couldn't possibly get elbow deep in every life story he came across. So all he knew about them were three things: a) they were on the run from someone or something, b) they trusted each other and no one else, and c) apparently, they have made it their life goal to never make any kind of sense.

The list of shit they have gotten into included but was not limited to:

• one of the kids biting a gun. Not the hand of the attacker who was holding it, no, the actual gun. And he bit a piece of it clean off, which earned him - or her, actually, Jason knew one of the triplets was a girl but he couldn't tell them apart - a lecture from their... mom? sister? parental figure. The lecture was about how chewing metal does not help with iron deficiency.

• getting kidnapped and creeping out their kidnapper to the point of him returning the kids back home. A few witnesses said one of the kids was actually driving, sitting on the kidnappers lap behind the steering wheel and cheerfully commanding the man to speed up or brake. Their mom actually apologized to the kidnapper for the incident and offered him homemade cookies for his troubles. He ran away without them.

• driving a lady at the laundromat insane by repeatedly walking inside and climbing into one of the washing machines. They never got out of it, just one kid walking into the laundromat, climbing into washing machine, then another kid, looking exactly like the previous one, walking inside, climbing into the same washing machine, then another kid walking into the laundromat- well, you get the idea. The lady claimed she's seen at least five kids do that in a row, but when she looked into that washing machine, there was no one inside.

• casually falling out of windows. Or, better, walking out of them like they were doors, at any given opportunity. The witness - an old man who was helping their mom with groceries - said the mom did not care in the slightest, and when he asked her about it, obviously concerned, she just said, tired and exasperated, 'they like the feeling of free fall, don't worry, they'll come back in a minute'. Sure enough, they did, not a scratch on them. The family lived on the sixth floor.

• eating insane amounts of food. Jason personally witnesses their mom give them her wallet, telling the kids, 'eat until you're full', and promptly passing out on the table, her head on her arms. The kids then proceeded to eat four whole pizzas, three burgers each, then seven brownies and at least five cups of soda. What was interesting about it was not only the amount of food they ate but the way they never left their mom unattended, one of the kids always staying beside her sleeping figure as the other two went to order.

And now, all four of them were standing in front of him. Not Jason Todd him, but Red Hood him. And he was... confused.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"I said, can you watch them for a few hours? Three, maybe four," the mom, Jazz as she introduced herself, was looking at him like it was he who was speaking nonsense, not her. Because asking a crime lord to watch three kids in the middle of the night is not something a sane person would do.

"Why?" He asks, bewildered, because what the fuck else is he supposed to say?

"I need to kill a man, and if they come with me, it will take three times longer," Jazz tells him. Is she saying the kids slow her down or what? Jason can admit he's never been this confused in his entire life.

"You could ask me to kill a man, while you stay with them, no?" He tries to reason, but the girl waves him off:

"No, that will take even longer. Besides, no offense, but you kill people to simply end their life, and I need that man to fucking stop existing forever."

What's the difference he almost wants to ask. But instead of that, he just sighs.

"Why me? I'm sure you could find a babysitter-"

"No babysitter will handle them. The last one told me they have been running laps on the ceiling, which is, actually, not that big of a deal. They are kids. Kids like running around," she huffs, and Jason suspects she is missing the point here, but okay. He gets why babysitters are not an option.

"You do understand what they can witness if they stay here?" He asks, as the last attempt to reason with the girl, but she just nods and leans down, making all the kids turn to her.

"Okay, you menaces, tell me what not to do while you're staying with Mr. Red Hood."

"No eating people," one kid starts.

"No driving people insane," the other one continues.

"No, um, stealing eyeballs," the third one finishes, and what the fuck are those ground rules? Is this girl a mother to eldrith horrors? That would explain some shit.

Jazz turns to him, "See? They're all good."

In what world is that good? Jason debates if he should start running now or when she leaves.

"Do they have names?" He asks instead. The girl nods:

"Danny." His surprise must be evident even through the mask because she sighs and points to each kid, "Diane, Daniel, Dante. Dani, Danny, and Dan. Actually, you know what, let's make this easier," she rummages through her bag and gets a marker out before gesturing to the kids, "Come here."

As they do, she proceeds to draw numbers 1, 2, and 3 on their foreheads. Then she nods to Hood and puts the marker away.

"Okay, that's better. Behave, you monsters, I'll be back soon!"

After she leaves, Jason looks down at the kids. They also look at him, eerie and unblinking.

Finally, one of them - number 2, Dani, if he is not mistaken - asks:

"Do you want teeth? We have a lot."

"She doesn't mean her teeth," number 1 clarifies, "She means other teeth."

...This is going to be some very long three hours.

[dcxdpdabbles]

DCxDP fanfic Idea: Marriage trap the Office supplier!

Danny had developed an appreciation for office supplies. He didn't know where it came from; just that one day, as he was cleaning his parents' office, he noticed their invoices and Order forms were out of order, so he chose to organize the binders.

It was just to make things easier to find the information when Tax season came around, but he found a strange joy in locating the correct stamps to mark each form.

Approved with a little thumbs up.

E-mailed with a flying envelope.

Entered with a little arrow.

Scanned with a picture of a scanning machine. Completed with a little check mark. Even the Cancelled and its accompanying x-out circle made him feel giggly.

Before long, Danny went hunting from some dividers and was excited to assign colors to certain tasks. He even made sure to separate everything by the order in which it was completed. By the time he was done, he realized he had no more use for his stamps, so he chose to go about the rest of the office.

He did not sleep that night. The next morning, the Fentons woke to their office lab in its best state since they had moved in. Everything had a place, and everything was neat and tidy with Danny happily explaining his organization system- all written down and marked on colorful legal pads he found shoved in a box.

Since then, Danny would excitably talk about the newest pen, sticky note, paperclips, or paper clamps he had found. Often, they were in strange shapes- "Look, Dad, these are sticky notes shaped like toast inside a Toaster holder!"- and no one could tell why it bought him such joy.

Even desk organizers excited him, often seen changing up his things every once in a while with new highlighters or traveling pens. His two best friends were often spotted walking behind Danny at any store within a fifty-mile radius of Amity Park that sold office supplies.

But that meant no one was surprised when Danny eagerly announced he would work in an office until he had enough money to open his own stationery store. What was surprising was that Danny somehow managed to find a job at Wayne Enterprise right out of high school as an office admin assistant.

A high-ranked one. He was the right-hand man to Bruce Wayne himself, working as a personal assistant then anyhting else.

It was clear across state lines no one knows how Danny even managed to land an interview since Mr. Wayne asked for at least a bachelor in office management to even apply or that Danny seemed unworried about living in a crime-infested city working for the man that was target a lot due to his wealth.

Danny only talked about all the superb brands of pens and notepads he would get with his new salary.

What was more shocking was how efficant Danny was at his job. He breezed through his work like a pro, getting Mr. Wayne on time every time (no one knows how) and cheerfully gaining the approval of the board.

Danny often stepped in for Mr. Wayne, Mr. Wayne-Drake or Mr. Fox, quietly becoming known as "Third-in-Comand" at WE despite the fact everyone knew him as "just the admin assistant"

He was also known for being very excited to show his desk to the office, covered in cute or interesting supplies from around the world. He spent hours schooling through websites and making wishlists of things he wanted to buy and try out.

Danny Fenton was a gift among the staff. He ran the office like a smoothly oiled machine, employing new systems and communication means that errors rarely happened in different departments.

WE genuinely feared the day he would leave the company to open that store. They tried to bride him by offering to pay his entire college career and make him a head of any department he wanted, or even officially give him Mr. Wayne's PA position but Danny insisted he wanted to open his store someday.

A plan was hatched by a low-level intern who had personally seen Danny take minutes with an invisible-ink pen and black light at his interview, only to witness the man fight for his right to have a paid internship and full benefits.

He mentioned how convient it was that Danny was close to every member of the Waynes. Yes. Bruce Wayne made it clear he would not be adopting the boy seeing as he was too old for that but what if....they ensured Danny stayed with WE if they made it the family bussiness?

Danny could still be a Wayne. They just had to get him to marry into the family, and WE could keep the embodiment of an office employee forever.

His idea spread through the company like wild fire, and not long, every single person who's checks were signed by Bruce Wayne was gunning for a chance to give Danny and a Wayne a wedding.

(Unknown to them, Danny is the hero Phantom, who, upon learning Batman's ID, instantly asked to work for him in an office setting because he wanted to open a stationery shop one day. Feeling blackmailed, Bruce allowed it, thinking he would catch Danny lacking, only to....find out the kid genuinely loved his job? And was good at it?

His kids are close to him as fellow vigilantes and are unaware of the WE employee's goal.

Danny just really likes Office Supplies. It might have something to do with his Ghost Obsession changing, or it's a Specail interest. He doesn't really care for the reason)

[daddyplasmius]

[kitsune024]

Danny Phantom, Batman & DCU Fanfiction Crossover

Lay Low and Graduate by jaytriesstuff

Danny runs away to Gotham after escaping from all the groups that are hunting him. Danny has a plan: lay low and graduate.

Plans change as he meets some interesting characters in Gotham from his neighbor Jason who reminds him of a ghost to his classmate Tim who just won't leave him alone. Follow Danny as he (and the author) figure out what the fuck is going to happen next.

Chapter's: 24/?

Hey hey,,,,@jaytriesstuff ,,,,guess what,,,,,it's been almost a week,,,,

I will be coming back with an extra panel for this, but Easter is very chaotic in my family so it'll take a while, I hope you enjoy this chaotic art tho💙💙

[zylev-blog]

Danny has a new rogue. The man is going by the name of Freakshow, but most of the whispers he’s heard have labeled him as the Joker. The Joker pings as a liminal, so Danny has been trying to find him. Problem is, the Joker doesn’t stay in Amity Park. The man is mobile, and the more Danny leaves Amity Park, the more he’s hunted by the GIW. This makes it harder to hunt the man, but he knows that Joker is dangerous. Unstable.

And he really hates clowns.

He’s chasing the Joker through New Jersey when a red blur knocks into him and drags him away from the Joker. He has enough sense left to realize he’s being moved in superspeed before he’s head butting the man holding him and turning intangible out of his arms. He hears the man in red groan and hold his bleeding nose.

“Wait.” The man in red pants, “The Joker is dangerous.”

“I know he is.” Danny tells him, “That’s why I’m taking him down.”

“You’re not working with him?” A man in black asks.

“What? No!” He gestured to himself, “I don’t have this getup because of him, you know. I’m a dead kid. A ghost. He’s messing with the living while carrying traces of the dead, and that’s wrong, you know? Once you kill so many people, it offends the dead and we have to intervene. Once you pass that point, the dead takes your soul. He’s already on his way there.”

“You don’t look dead.” The man in black says while the man in red looks away from him.

“Yeah? And you look like a bat. You don’t have room to talk when you look like a furry.” He rolled his eyes.

“I’m Flash and this is Batman.” Flash introduced himself and his partner, “We and the Joker are from another dimension. We’re trying to take Joker down before he merges our dimensions and takes over both of them.”

“Ugh, not more interdimensional bullshit.” Danny swears. “You can call me Phantom, by the way.”

“You don’t seem suprised about this.” Batman prompts.

“Yknow, after the fifth attempt at interdimensional war you get used to it. This dimension has the most… uh, what did they call it? Oomph? I think it means like, this is the most powerful dimension out of all of them. It doesn’t take long for us to kick them back where they belong. But this Joker dude, he’s persistent.” Danny shrugged.

“I know Joker the best.” Batman told him.

“As long as Joker ends up back in his dimension before he merges ours.” He grimaced. “Been there done that once, it wasn’t pretty to undo. It nearly destroyed both of our dimensions, but some things aren’t supposed to be merged.”

“To work together, we need to know what you can do.” Flash glanced at Batman.

“Do you want a list?”

[glow-in-the-dark-death]

The Smell of Home

Damian had noticed the new student in his school.

Not because he was new or how he looked

no, not any of the usual reasons someone would grab peoples attention.

Weirdly enough it was his scent, which was really weird. He usually didn't take notice of how people smell besides the usual just like anyone else.

But something about the smell that seemed to emanate from this new student who he had learned his name was Danny Fenton, just would not leave his mind.

He knew the smell but couldn't remember from where and it was just at the tip of his tongue, it was driving him crazy.

His family seemed to notice him become more irritable from usual.

But not around Fenton, he seemed to unconsciously calm down in his presence, which just made him suspicious and more irritated.

It wasn't until he woke up from a dream of memories from when he was little and still living with his mom that he realized what he was smelling.

The Lazarus Pits.

He grew up with that smell, it used to hang around the entire area and buildings.

He hadn't realized how long it had been since he had smelled it

He unconsciously related it to the smell of his childhood home.

But why would this random boy give off that very same odor?

Some investigating needed to be done.

~

Danny had noticed one of his classmates a boy he learned was called Damian seemed to act ...odd?

But only around him it seemed

With everyone else he was normal if a bit cold.

He would seem to relax an then suddenly tense up and send him a suspicious glare.

Also he was pretty sure that the boy seemed to be sniffing him?

Did he smell bad or something?

Why was he the only one who he seemed to act weird with.

Oh God, maybe he thought the smell of ecto was weird?

But that's not something he could control and most people never even seemed to notice the smell of ecto he produced since he became a halfa.

~

Damian glaring at Danny every time he realizes he's relaxed

Danny: "What did I do!?"

~

Batfam notices Damian being extra grouchy :" Ah, he's going through his rebellious phase"

~

Danny: "Did you just sniff mE!"

Damian: *scoff* "Don't be absurd"

~

Damian stealing Danny's clothes to analyze

Danny: " Who keeps taking my stuff?!"

Batfam: "Damian we know you're growing and experiencing new things, but stealing the things especially clothes from your crush is crossing boundaries"

Damian: "This is a misunderstanding, I don't have a crush on anyone!"

Bruce: "Son I think it's time I give you 'The Talk TM', I have an entire slideshow and docume-"

Damian: "This family is a nightmare!"

~

Just an Idea

[ghostreblogging]

Ok ok so hear me out Twins au. Danny and Damian are twins. And you know the whole story. Danny gets "killed " moves in with the Fenton's and becomes phantom. Ad Damian doesn't know that. Well the magician summoning Damian's dead brother to enact his revenge on him has a very bad timing

"Oh robin. Dont you know the dead can have fangs. I've heard of a little tale. Of how you killed your own brother. Your twin in a quite a cruel and merciless way don't you think?" The magician drawls on over the horribly over used repetitive lines.

But it still stops Damian in his tracks. He can see as his family stop and look at him. With the look of horror and well concern. And he hates it. He can feel their gazes on him and it burns his skin.

He stops and tries to yell at them. To do something. To stop dawdling around.

Until a right flash of green stopped him. The circle lit up as a clawed hand grasped the edge from inside.

Unfortunately the magician wasn't a phony.

The being slowly crawls itself out. It's wearing striped prison clothes with conically oversized shackles? Huh.

Damian muses to himself as he prepares for battle . Must represent his or rather their lives in the league of assassin's.

The being finally looks up and shouts

"HAHA YOU CAN SUC MY DIC WALKER. I MAY BE OUT NOT ON MY OWN VOLITION BUT IM GONNA DO GHOST CRIMES AGAIN . And there's nothing you can do about it. "

"Ghost crimes exist? What even are ghost crimes???" Dick whispered to Jason

"I don't know but I am so angry at the implications of ghost cops. " Jason replies

[on-the-clear-blue]

Dead Man's Diner pt 4

"THOSE FUCKING BITCHES SAM!" Danny shouted as he stormed into his apartment, slinging his backpack off by the door as he toes his shoes off.

Rounding the corner of the hallway, Danny was met with Tucker, shirtless with only a pair of plaid boxers on, staring at him with sleep glazed eyes, he had a box of cereal in one hand, and a bottle of oat milk in the other, raising the bottle in a salute, Tucker stuffed a handful of cereal into his mouth before taking a swig of the milk, holding up a hand to stop Danny from speaking as he chewed, only letting his hand fall before he spoke.

"What?"

"The Bats are fucking assholes!"

Tucker looked back at the bottle of oat milk, sighed and placed it back in the refrigerator, chucking the box of cereal on the counter, Tucker grabbed Danny by the shoulders.

"Of course they are Jerks Danny..." his grip tightened as he started to shake the Halfa, "I have ten deadlines and 5 missed calls, I really want to geek out right now about you meeting the local heroes but I really don't have the time, so yes, jerks, tell me about it later okay?"

Danny phased through the tough grip on his shoulders, letting out a giggle as he watched Tucker fumble as he no longer had someone to help steady himself, "I did yell specifically for Sam, Tuck so you can't get mad at me! Go huant the Wanyetech building, I know for sure those dudes are way more dead inside than I am!"

Getting a groan from his friend at his dead pun, Danny continued into the apartment, snatching Tuckers cereal box off the counter as he went to sit in the living room.

Spotting Sam typing something on a lap top, her big over the ear headphones blaring as he flops down next to her, which thankfully was enough for her to notice him.

Offering g the box of cereal to her, she sent him a tired smile as she slipped the head phones off and took some of the fruit flavored rings, "Hey there Deadstuff...how was work?"

Danny sent her a grin, "Well, Clocky decided to throw me a bone and I think I got this? He is a little bitch boy that sends me all over the place but this time it was a dined, Lunch Lady taught me how to cook." Pasuing to stuff a new handful of tasty fruity goodness, Danny spoke around the cereal in his mouth "Cookin' ish so much more cool when da food isn't trying to kill you"

Slapping Danny's arm as she rolled her "Don't eat with your mind full and tell me what got you so riled up" Sliding her laptop of her self she tucked her knees up before stretching them out over Danny, who was already going off on his story.

"Wait wait! You had Nightwing in you're restaurant and you didn't get me an autograph?" Same shot Danny a scowl, who at least had the decency to look sorry

"I was going to but they fucking dined and dashed Sam! Even when I was actively Phantom, I never, ever just left a bill!"

---

Dick knew that perhaps eating the food was a slightly bad idea, given the look B gave them when him and Tim pulled into the Cave.

He was standing there, arms crossed, thankfully cowl down, what made the sight infinitely less intimidating was Damian doing the same next to him, his head tilted to look down at them and perhaps standing on his tittpy toes a little bit.

Dick wanted to coo at the father son bonding, but remembered he had to act at least a little chastised at the moment "Yes I am sorry B, It was my decision to head in, there was no outward danger so we just took a chance."

Wincing at the gruff grunt he got from that Dick powered on, "I will write a more detailed report, but personally if anything wrong it's likely that the kid working there is Meta? I dont-"

"He can't be meta! He is very clearly a ghost Dick!" Tim interrupted already flipping through some notes he had made on the way back home, "its the only explanation...or he is a 5th dimensional Imp with a passion for cooking but I really hope not those guys suck to deal with..."

Dick nodded at that, but had to say some thing foe his own superfan imp "Nightmite is a chill dude helps sometimes with cases back in Bludhaven!"

Giving a sigh, Bruce rubbed the bridge of his nose, "No mites, no metas, no ghost, go to Medbay I am running blood tests on what sweet hell you have ingested."

---

Bruce ran the test again, sure that it was wrong, praying that it was wrong.

TEST COMPLETE

TRACE LAZARUS WATERS DETECTED

Underneath was lists of chemical make ups of the samples Tim took and his sons blood, there were varying levels through out the food samples, some lighter but others were heavy on it.

What was stumping him was...it was nearly perfectly pure, the pits naturally over time get polluted, with the dirt and sediment that falls in, and with the various amounts of bodily parts and fluids that are dipped in it.

But the trace amounts Bruce was finding were a better quality than Ra's own personal pool, not the one he dips in to regain his youth that the LOA make a ritual out of, no the privet one in the Alps that was clear as glacial water.

It didn't make any sense to Bruce, who would be spreading Lazarus water around? Ra's would not simply share his secret pure stash...

Lost in thought, Bruce sat back glaring at the test results.

---

"And after I thought I was giving great service, they fucking left, no bill, no tip! I didn't even get to see Nightwings ass as he left! People say it's a godly experience! I was robbed!" Letting out a huff Danny shot Sam an incredulous look at her sudden burst of laughter. "Sa~am, this isn't funny! Never meet your heroes! I am taking this to Twitter! They shall know my fury!" His words only served to make Sam laugh even harder.

Stifling a grin Danny took out hos phone, a old busted thing that was more ducktape and prayers than actual technology, but dear go's did it still work.

<@i-haunt-spirit-holloween

[@.realwing @not-that-red-robin.real yall are toxic twinks came in to my workplace and fucking dined and dashed 0/10 Nightwing has a flat ass.]

Hitting send, Danny put his phone down, choosing to let the nights happenings go past his mind and just hang out with Sam before showering and finally going to bed.

---

Tim was hunched over his lap top, going frame by frame of his body cam footage, he *needed* to figure this out, it was like an itch in his brain that he would go through bone to get through.

His work payed off as he clicked forward another time, his feed went static before it showed a blurry blue blob in place of the diner! Proof! It was there!

Jumping at the sudden bang of his bedroom door being thrown open, Tim whirled to around to see Dicks distressed face, standing up, Tim prepared for the worst, something happened. Bruce was dead agian it had to be-

"TIMMY I AM A TWINK AM I??" Was Dicks wail as he flopped down on Tim's bed.

Letting out a shuddering sigh, Tim looked longingly at his laptop before closing it, "Dick, what the fuck."

Rolling around on the bed, Dick finally looked up at Tim "Littlewing sent me a tweet and...ugh just look!" Thrusting out his phone as he spoke

Pasuing at the mention of Jason, Tim  looked down at the screen and froze

"Holy shit...we forgot to pay didn't we...fuck Jason is never going to let us live that down."

Tim still remembered the first time he witnessed one of Jason's famous "make Bruce spend more money" rants about tipping.

It was glorious.

Tim now realized he would be one of two that was likely going to have to face it next.

"UGH?? You focus on the money and not the other parts? Tim I was called a toxic twink with no ass! This is a declaration of war! I have never been so offended!" Dick sat up, eyes narrowd while Tim opened up the tweet on his own phone.

"The comments agree Dick, I am sorry, you now have a flat ass congrats and welcome to the club" Tim said dryly, trying to go to the posters page, since it was clearly Danny who posted it.

Only the app crashed when he tried to. And again when he tried to a second time, and his web browser crashed when he tried opening it there

Tim was baffled on what was happening while Dick lemented on his bed before deciding to hack it later.

<@not-that-red-robin.real

[@i-haunt-spirit-holloween super sorry about that send me venmo and I'll pay with tip]

<@i-haunt-spirit-holloween

[@not-that-red-robin.real Fuck that face me like a coward bitch bet you wont]

<@not-that-red-robin.real

[@i-haunt-spirit-holloween...bet]

---

Somewhere in a safe house in Crime Ally, Jason let out a little giggled as he scrolled through the comments on the funniest post he had found in a while, Jason was surely going to have to speak to Timberly and Dickiebird about paying their bills but right now?

He was kicking his feet watching Dick have a public meltdown as Nightwing.

Finally, he wouldn't be the only one who had to retake the Bat Media course.

How was he supposed to know doing peace signs next to a person he just shot wasn't allowed?

[radiance1]

Danny: So whatcha got there?

Fright Knight: Looks down.

Fright Knight: A pile of photos?

Danny: No. The child. THE CHILD!

Tim: He's my new caretaker.

Fright Knight: Nodding

Danny:

Pariah Dark: Calmly walks into house

Danny:

Billy: Waves

Danny: Father what the fuck-

Pariah Dark: He looked hungry, and without a guardian.

Danny: Holy shit they kidnapped two kids.