#or well she'd TRY at least
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littlemissgeek8 · 1 year ago
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A few weeks ago, after one of our current D&D sessions, our DM (the same one from our previous NaCl campaign) started talking about some early plans he had for the previous campaign. One of these plans involved us helping a "collector" of various monsters, which would have culminated in him capturing our druid friend Edan, with the intent to trap him and steal some of his Solar powers. Thankfully this plotline never happened because we shattered a pocket dimension and rescued Edan before the plans would have gone into motion, but it was a lovely, angsty plotline.
And well, after playing Baldur's Gate 3, it was basically a Dame Aylin situation, and I couldn't leave the idea alone. So, I had to doodle something, but kinda with the idea of a similar plot happening after the campaign finished. Hey, a girl's gotta draw self-indulgant stuff some of the time, right?
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dapperrokyuu · 7 months ago
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Needing a Sua perspective from the ALNST auditions to Round 1. I never put much thought into what happens to the cast post-Anakt Garden graduation (do they immediately go to the auditions? Is there a period of time where they dont see each other until they recognize each other at the audition? Theres a considerable amount of time between the auditions and their Alien Stage season, did they see each other often between then or...? etc.), but regardless, imagine being her and having to choose between sabotaging your own audition so you dont have to go the the Sing, Win, or Die Show or putting your in your all in hopes of winning and spending just a bit more time with this girl you love because you know itll likely be the last time you see her. Imagine...
#dee p thoughts#alien stage#alnst#vivinos#like. not as if life wouldve been sunshine and rainbows if sua failed the audition and never went on alien stage hashtag Im a Pet to Aliens#but like. sua was definitely more in the know. Im not the type to believe mizi was completely naive but I think mizi may have bought into#the idea that dying Wasnt That Bad due to what she was taught and her trust in her owners...until round 1- maybe mizi was confident she'd#truly win and/or her owners praised and made her feel so. sua: ''My dream is Mizi's dream. (paraphrased)'' etc etc#maybe it was the dream of mizi's owners that mizi wanted to fulfill or mizi just wanted to impress her owners in return for their care...#but sua knew. she knew it would either be she never sees mizi again whether she dies or achieve such fame that sua could never reach her...#or sua can spend a little time with her. whatever they have left. whether it was her or mizi the likelihood of them ever seeing each other#again... because mizi is intent on this. she is going to join alien stage. she is going to pass the auditions because she is so dazzling.#...I need to be with her.#I think considering the ivan and sua comic anakt garden may be a pipeline to alien stage? its functionally a music school iirc so I think i#at least gives them a leg up and humans are put into anakt garden with at least some intention of having them try out for alien stage-#but nonetheless I imagine there was a liminal space where none of the cast really knew where their lives were going post-anakt garden.#not that they have much choice in the matter but still dalkjdalkbn- that liminal space mustve been a dark time for majority of them#because well. their owners. and they couldnt meet each other and may never meet again...#regarding the time between the auditions and their alien stage season I imagine its funnily a lot of. training. pr vocals visuals...#they have autographs despite them all potentially dying quickly they had them draft and practice and perfect autographs guys adjlkbnadlfkjf#the look mizi and sua shared in sweet dream when they both passed the auditions together...AUGH.....
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kurozu501 · 1 year ago
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the thing that really bothers me about the whole demon racism thing in Frieren is the extremely heavy handed flashback we get justifying Frieren's prejudice. its a whole ridiculous series of events that make no sense. Felt like some gross propaganda.
Lemme break it down real fast: in the past Frieren and her pals came to a town where a demon in the shape of a young girl attacked and killed a child. They defeated it in battle, but Himmel was hesitant to kill it because it looked like a kid and called out 'mother.' The village chief then comes in and says that killing the demon will make them just as bad as them, and that they should offer her a chance at redemption. Some time passes with the demon girl living with the chief and his daughter peacefully before suddenly one night she kills the chief. She presents the chief's unconscious daughter to the parents of the girl she killed saying she wanted to get them a replacement child. Himmel and Frieren kill her, Fireren explains that demons don't even have families so her calling out 'mother' was just a manipulation tactic. which the dying demon girl confirms is correct.
So,
2 things
Why the fuck did the chief come in saying they had to give the demon a chance when she'd already murdered someone? Why was everyone besides Frieren and the dead kids parents just cool with letting a child murderer get off scott free and walk around their town with no consequences? Generally we don't even let human child murderers do that, so its frankly bizarre. If you want to prove demons are fundamentally evil wouldn't it make more sense to start with a demon who hasn't yet committed any crime? Then the chief sticking up for it would feel logical. Whole thing makes no sense except to demonize (lol) the very concept of redemption. No you stupid fucking idiot you should have used extreme violence and murder every time always. its always justified, learn your lesson kids and if you see one of the Evil Races walking around remember its always ok to lynch them.
What the fuck is the demon child doing here? Her actions make no sense. Frieren says that demons are basically just intelligent predators, that they only use speech and social customs to manipulate humans and prey on them. So why on earth did the demon kid murder the chief while Himmel and squad were still in town? Why'd she have a weird fixation on getting the parents a new kid? Almost as if she was trying to make up for what she'd done to them in a twisted way, as if she felt bad? This seems to imply the opposite of what Frieren said. While watching i assumed what would happen is that Frieren would tell Himmel and the group that they should pretend to leave the village, then double back whereupon they'd find the demon going on a rampage again, since she would assume its now safe to do so with them gone. i assumed that because it would make sense. but nah. instead we get this really nonsensical series of events that clearly exists only to prove frieren's bigotry right. Demon girl is so ridiculous she literally uses her last words to be like "btw this lady who killed me was right you should never trust filthy demons like meeee." Give me a break.
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the-vibing-ghoul · 2 months ago
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some people will be all about mental health awareness and leftist ideals of at least tolerating the mentally ill who show ''ugly'' symptoms until it's someone they know and ''care'' about having a bad day and acting like it in a way they don't find appealing
#[temporary text post tag]#vagueing about irls#everybodys your friend until one time youre too tired to act right after getting yelled at first thing in the morning#worst thing is i trusted her enough to tell her shit none of my other friends know about#liek i genuinely believed we were friends and i wasnt just an accessory so she wouldnt feel lonely and could vent to someone about whatever#now im really wondering if all the shit she told me about other people was real or if she just ditched them as well after they-#- acted emotionally in a way she didnt like#like im sorry people have bad days and sometimes act in none cutesy ways#at this point idk if the few times i did tell her im feelin like shit she took it seriously or just thought i was joking#im kinda assuming the second one#like she did feel and act fairly progressive - she'd often talk about acceptance and understanding#i don't even think she sees this situation as dropping a 'freind'#she's prolly gonna find a way to justify it somehow idk#point is im hurt and need a drink#she even vaguely texted me like 'if someone you knew hurt someone you care about would you try to fix it with them or just block them?'#like not even confront me and say 'you hurt someone i care about so now im ending things'#or just tell me to fuck off or call me a piece of shit#i feel after a year and all of the 'youre a good friend' shit that maybe i was at least entitled to a 'fuck off kys' text and then a block#i shouldve dropped her first - save us both some time#honestly i dont even think she thinks about this at all#im probably just sulking like a kicked dog while she does whatever the fuck it is she does#she probably didnt even care about my side of the story#why would she#honestly she always did most of the talking#i was just there to listen and sometimes make a joke for her to laugh at i guess#like i didnt know i was signing up for a '1 strike and youre out' type deal lmao
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nostalgia-tblr · 2 months ago
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i can defend the choice but i do wonder what it means that i default to making AU Sylvies 'very goal-oriented'/ruthless. i have not read that many AUs (of the not-canon-divergence type) but i feel like i'd remember if that was what most people focussed on with her in the ones i've read.
also sometimes the goals i make her so set upon have some obvious flaw that she just ignores, but i think i could defend that too if i had to.
i suppose the difference is some people set out to write AUs in which she is happier and thus softer and less stabby, while other people (inc me) don't. the fear she inspires is part of what makes her so hot i mean compelling as a fictional character.
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acourtofquestions · 1 month ago
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Boots crunched in hay, and then he was knee to knee before her.
Aedion.
There was nothing kind on his face. No pity or warmth.
For a long minute, they only stared at each other.
Then the prince growled softly, "Your plan was bullshit."
She said nothing, and couldn't stop her shoulders from curving inward.
"Your plan was bullshit," he breathed, his eyes sparking. "How could you ever be her, wear her skin, and think to get away with it? How could you ever think you'd get around the fact that our armies are counting on you to burn the enemy to ashes, and all you can do is run away and emerge as some beast instead?"
"You don't get to pin this retreat on me," she rasped. The first words she'd spoken in days and days.
"You agreed to let Aelin go to her death, and leave us here to be slashed to bloody ribbons. You two told no one of this plan, told none of us who might have explained the realities of this war, and that we would need a gods-damned Fire-Bringer and not an untrained, useless shape-shifter against Morath."
Blow after blow, the words landed upon her weary heart. "We—"
"If you were so willing to let Aelin die, then you should have let her do it after she incinerated Erawan's hordes!"
"It would not have stopped Maeve from capturing her."
"If you'd told us, we might have planned differently, acted differently, and we would not be here, damn you!"
She stared at the muddy hay. "Throw me out of your army, then."
"You ruined everything." His words were colder than the wind outside. "You, and her."
Lysandra closed her eyes.
Hay rustled, and she knew he'd risen to his feet, knew it as his words speared from above her bowed head. "Get out of my tent."
She wasn't certain she could move enough to obey, though she wished to. Needed to. Fight back. She should fight back. Rage at him as he lashed at her, needing an outlet for his fear and despair.
Lysandra opened her eyes, peering up at him. At the rage on his face, the hatred She managed to stand, her body bleating in pain. Managed to look him in the eye, even as Aedion said again with quiet cold, "Get out."
Barefoot in the snow, naked beneath her cloak. Aedion glanced at her bare legs, as if realizing it. And not caring.
So Lysandra nodded, clutching Ansel's cloak tighter, and strode into the frigid night.
"Where is she?" Ren asked, a mug of what smelled like watery soup in one hand, a chunk of bread in the other. The lord scanned the tent as if he would find her under the cot, the hay.
Aedion stared at the precious few logs burning in the brazier, and said nothing.
"What have you done?" Ren breathed.
Everything was about to end. Had been doomed since Maeve had stolen Aelin. Since his queen and the shifter had struck their agreement.
So it didn't matter, what he'd said. He hadn't cared if it wasn't fair, wasn't true.
Didn't care if he was so tired he couldn't muster shame at his pinning on her the blame for the sure defeat they'd face in a matter of days before Perranth's walls.
He wished she'd smacked him, had screamed at him. But she had let him rage. And had walked out into the snow, barefoot.
He'd promised to save Terrasen, to hold the lines. Had done so for years. And yet this test against Morath, when it had counted ... he had failed.
He’d muster the strength to fight again. To rally his men. He just ... he needed to sleep.
Aedion didn't notice when Ren left, undoubtedly in search of the shifter with who he was so damned enamored.
He should summon his Bane commanders. See how they thought to manage this disaster.
But he couldn't. Could do nothing but stare into that fire as the long night passed.
#Chapter 34#Kingdom of Ash#Sarah J. Maas#Aedion Ashryver#Lysandra Ennar#no spoilers please#first read#read with me#read along#more tags more spoilers below and above warned#the magic thread - if only there was Aelin - the fire - what the sky shows - he had failed - retreat and live fight and die - to Perranth#the sound of shields is giving infinity war vibes and while I try to stay a little optimistic even I must admit things are getting sticky#the Crown Prince splattered with blood both red and black. — Manorian I’ll bleed whatever color you tell me to lol — the Thealis reference#Ashryver eyes dim — okay that one hurt — I will follow you cousin however this may end but we cannot keep this up not — to whatever end#Where is the Queen? Where is her Fire? but if the Firebringer fought without flame they would know — She has run away. AGAIN.#asking why Aelin of the Wildfire did not burn away their enemies Did not at least give them light by which to fight. Ok but I luv Wyvern Lys#Two Silent Assassins noticed on the second night that the dead soldier still lay on Lysandra's back. — a line that broke me#They treated her with kindness nonetheless. No one made to reach for the lone horse — Aedion should’ve been there should’ve been kind to her#Even the Queen of the Wastes was pale her wine-red hair plastered to her head beneath the dirt and blood. —no ur plan was bullshit#he’s not speak to her it’s him to him-​You don't get to pin this retreat on me she rasped. The first words she'd spoken in days and days.#She wasn't certain she could move enough to obey though she wished to. Needed to. Fight back. Rage at him as he lashed at her. but she knew#he knew it and he’s wishing she’d punish him for it but she didn’t#Barefoot in the snow naked beneath her cloak. Aedion glanced at her bare legs as if realizing it. And not caring.#So Lysandra nodded clutching Ansel's cloak tighter and strode into the frigid night. — this chapter hurt me — I’m with Ren WHERE IS SHE#Aedion stared at the precious few logs burning in the brazier and said nothing… well not nothing & braziers double haunts me forever#Everything was about to end. Had been doomed since Maeve had stolen Aelin. Since his queen and the shifter had struck their agreement.#So it didn't matter what he'd said. He hadn't cared if it wasn't fair wasn't true… mmm no those words mattered they were awful#why must we repeat HoF mistakes per ship#He wished she'd smacked him had screamed at him But she had let him rage. And had walked out into the snow barefoot#soon — they will come soon — they ghost leopard dis not falter — the Crochans and Rolfe and ugh so many people just need to show up soon
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the-physicality · 1 month ago
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i do think, aside from mercury bias, if bg had been in all season she would have been all wnba, first or at least second. i think people undervalue her because of the rebounding but she is 1000% the worst officiated player in the league, on both sides of the court. so the fact that she's been able to have the performance that she had is incredible, and that she didn't get the acknowledgment really just underscores how much people take what she does for granted.
#i saw something interesting that kim milky basically has her players specialize and so they come out of college less well rounded#exhibit a angel's shooting vs rebounding#and i didn't watch bg in college so maybe i'm totally wrong on this but maybe rebounding just wasn't he job#and then i saw on reddit or something that maybe because she is so poorly officiated she'd get called for too many fouls on rebounding#for it to be worth it#and while i understand the value of rebounding really i do the mercy's problem wasn't that they weren't trying#well sometimes it was but it was that their whole system wasn't designed for it#if you have 4 players on the perimeter to space and shoot 3#you're going to hope they go in and run the floor instead#teams that rebound well dedicate bodies and time to rebounding#and i believe that it was a conscious choice the merc made to not do that#and if you look at old merc games they struggled with rebounding then too#i actually will have more to say about this in the future but the mercury's style of play has lived and died with dt's style for 20 years#the mercury have the most 100 point games of any franchise#and they are responsible for most of the 200 point total scores across the league#ie their fast break and bad defense lol#and while it's not entirely true - she is not responsible for every result they've ever had - i don't think you get westhead's style of pla#to work without her talent and the penny cappie dt trio in 2006#or at least it isn't successful and maybe doesn't change the pace of play in the league the way it did#it's also interesting that if the lottery draw goes differently in 2006 and merc have the first pick do they get seimone or do they stick#cappie? i think they stick with cappie bc they needed a true pg and from what i've seen seimone is a 2/3#and i don't think dt becomes the player the league knows without having a true pg [vs her playing point]#the thing is dt can play point better than most people but i think she plays better when she has someone else there to help#and her talking about oh i should've won mvp in 2006 [when i dropped 40] [lisa leslie won that year]#and in 2014 [best team ever] [maya moore won that year]#you look at the stats and there is for sure an argument to be made there#but it all comes back to post players#and i know wikipedia says maya is a power forward but she seems like more of a 3 sometimes? i haven't watched her enough#but i don't think dt can win mvp in 2009 without that team specifically#which means [and this is my theory of life] that everything happens the way it has to happen for you to end up where you are today
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arolesbianism · 2 months ago
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Thinks abt Sif Odile duo looping au. When the two who can't read eachother for shit get thrown into the horrors together
#rat rambles#stars posting#my favorite sif relationship within the party is them and odile so I had to at least try rotating this idea in my head even if trying to#write these guys makes me anxious as hell#its just like. siffrin has such a complex around this middle age woman its both funny and sad to me#and odile just does not realize this and it creates such a rift between their understanding of eachother#they both care abt eachother so much but it's hard for them to bridge that gap sometimes#and its a weird situation imaging them looping together because idk if thatd help things or make them way worse#because siffrin is allergic to dealing with his own issues and odile struggles with addressing said issues when shes not certain of what#they are and since she's not particularly great at reading the emotional side of things she'd probably struggle a lot with that#its just interesting imagining how the two could potentially both grow closer and drift farther apart over the course of the loops#which applies to all duo looping aus but Im particularly invested in these two so theyre who Im thinking abt#like idk just something abt odile slowly realizing how sif sees her appeals to me deeply#also I like thinking abt early on stuff where it's more lighthearted and they get to have some fun in the early loope#I do think theres a lot of awkwardness in the air especially on siffrins end but I like to think theyd have a lil fun with it#for better or for worse in the long run#odile and siffrin sitting clueless as they hand craft a whole bunch of new things for siffrin to beat himself up over later#and odile as well I want her to realize that sif has been internalizing this shit and quietly spiral over it#anyways I need to to to bed now gn
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camellia-thea · 4 months ago
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i'm still thinking about the conversation i witnessed last night :/
#didn't weigh in when it was happening because Brain and just witnessing it was enough to trigger Fear:tm: and fight/flight#lots of complicated feelings about it#all bad feelings#but just. sometimes you witness things that just annihilate your opinions of someone so fast#and i just. don't want to see or talk to her again.#which is a problem because she's tried to initiate a weird romance-flirtation thing over the course of three years.#which i initially reciprocated then gently started to discourage#(she was like ''no romance between us i don't want to do anything long distance'' proceeds to ask me to fly up to see her.#offers to pay for flights and have me stay with her. asks me out on a date (that i didn't know was a date until she kissed me)??)#and ahhhhh. i can't tell if it's still me coming down from it or if i genuinely feel Legitimately Unsafe or just. ableism-linked discomfort#like. i don't think she'd hurt me. maybe. but i also know that she will not examine why she has isolated and harmed two of her friends.#but this has also completely put into doubt the idea of her *not* causing harm? so i don't know anymore#she also said that one of the most harmful recent representations of my disorder was ''humanising'' :///#(which was immediately preceded by her calling it infantilising. :) )#and then did not listen when it was called out as Active Harm#and then! tried to compare it to a fucking kids film from thirty years ago! about capacity for influence!#and it's just. i'm so fucking tired of trying to correct her#because i am aware that i have a little more influence over her opinions because she has said that she wants me to think well of her#and i have witnessed it with her backtracking hard on things i've criticised even if she's just been supporting whatever was there#and like. i don't want to talk to her anymore. that's a solid thing. i just don't. but i don't want to not explain why?#because that doesn't allow capacity for change and growth and i don't think it's productive#for me at least? i'd prefer for her to know why#but also. she's a significant presence in our social circle and her brother is too#and i don't want to isolate him because he's great and i love him#but. how do you deal with that???#i don't even know.#i keep circling around it.
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rook2ii · 6 months ago
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i want to put. a bunch of characters from different things that are really passionate about science in a room together. like... some of them would be just interested by each other's creations and scientific knowledge and progress. others would be attempting to LITERALLY DISSECT EACH OTHER- entrapta
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antisocialgaycat · 8 months ago
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quite interesting how someone ive never met and probably never will meet knows me better than anyone else
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rosecrowned · 1 year ago
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margaery when she heard renly and loras were scheming to get her to court so robert would become infatuated with her and replace cersei with her
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#♡ about. ⊱ ❝ 𝘌𝘯𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘵𝘰 𝘥𝘳𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘢 𝘴𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘢𝘥𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘰𝘳 𝘢 𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘬𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘴. ❞#I think this is like . . . the one scheme of theirs that she wasn't really a willing participant in lmao#like I'm sorry boys but that was SUCH a fucking stupid play to try to make. and not one I see marg attempting on her own volition.#it would have done a lot to give renly and loras more sway but would have done jack shit for marg personally and she would recognize that#the sad thing is I don't think she would have refused to do it altogether but it definitely wasn't the same prospect to her#as trying to marry joffrey or tommen#like yes marg wanted power she wanted to be THE queen but it's just Different under those circumstances#unsettling implications aside#with joffrey or tommen she felt she could have power over them at the very least#which is what put her into competition with cersei bc cersei wanted to keep that control over her sons#robert was much older and already married and she wouldn't have any power over him. cersei didn't and she's cersei fucking lannister.#and plus being seen as a 'mistress' first would have been bad for her reputation and we know how important her reputation is to her#and on top of all of that what is the fucking point??? if robert was almost guaranteed to die when she's still young????#then she'd just have to marry joffrey anyway if she had any hope to remain queen#but that would be almost impossible given the circumstances of her being previously married to his 'father'#also the irony of them planning this because they think she looks like lyanna and that will be enough to entice robert isn't lost on me#if they succeeded they would have just been damning her to the same fate lyanna had tried to run from#anyway the whole situation is just Nasty and I am shaking renly and loras by their well-conditioned hair#it's scary its gross it's ironic and sad
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playingonedchess · 6 months ago
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when i was 17 and the school psychologist was so rubbish i genuinely believed id out-psycologisyed her by understanding her more than she understood me even though i never used the information
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pathsofoak · 2 years ago
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I just realized that in the movies Teresa died without knowing that the cure would never reach Newt
(discussion of death and brief mention of suicide in the tags)
#Thomas woke up and that was it. He never told her that Newt was already dead#she was trying to save both of them#the only reason she ever offered the cure to Janson was that she couldn't make a replacement if she and Thomas both died#I suppose she could have figured it out along the way#but I like the way the idea of her thinking that when Thomas got on the Berg with that vial#she saved as many people as she had the power to in that night#And she really did#she didn't work against the boys after they kidnapped her#she was honest and didn't get in their way#even though she likely knew that Thomas wouldn't let them hurt her#I think after Minho's torture she was already starting to want to fight for both sides#it makes her death more tragic as well#the way she looks up at Thomas. knowing she's about to die#she's not scared or closing her eyes even as she falls. She keeps looking at him and the Berg#to make sure that she succeeded in doing as much as she could to make up for what she'd done#to Thomas and everyone else#and Newt personally of course. because he wasn't immune and with her memories back. she would have realized that eventually#like she had this potential bit of comfort that in saving Thomas she saved Newt too#and the story lets her die (I do interpret that moment as suicide tho). lets her story end with that belief#that she's at least succeeded in saving someone she cares about both immune and infected#it allows her some residual hope for a cure even though she's chosen to abandon WCKD's cruelty#she lives and dies under a false hope of saving/having saved people
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direwombat · 2 years ago
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what’s your ocs’ literary archetype?
phwew ok, tagged by @adelaidedrubman​, @socially-awkward-skeleton​, @purplehairsecretlair​​, @fourlittleseedlings​​, @detectivelokis​ and @sstewyhosseini​ and @aceghosts​ to do this uquiz!
not tagging anyone because this seems to be doing the rounds, but if you haven’t been tagged (yes you!) and you want to do this, consider yourself tagged! just going with the girlies i have banners for bc i’m lazy
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the caregiver. you've spent so long taking care of others, you don't know what to do with yourself if you aren't. you probably suck at taking care of yourself though, maybe you feel like you aren't worthy or deserving. but deep down, i know you wish to be cared for too. you want someone to show you that you are worth even just half the effort you put into caring for other people. dont neglect yourself.
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the mentor. you're a natural leader, you've got a specific aura about you that draws people to you. you're smart, not just academically, but worldly smart. people tend to go to you for help and advice, and you're more than happy to help. of course, that also means that you feel like you're a therapist rather than a friend, family, or lover. it can make you feel isolated from everyone else, and i hope that people realize you are human before a teacher.
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the siren. this archetype is one of the most misunderstood and misrepresented in my opinion, which i assume fits with you nicely. people see you as some cold and awful person, seducing others only to discard them when you get bored. in reality, you probably didn’t have a lot of control over your life before, did you? this is the same case as the ruler, both lacking in power and autonomy. the difference between you and the ruler, however, is that you only care about reclaiming that power for yourself. you also seek the feeling of being wanted, truly and wholly, and this quest seems never ending. try your best to avoid putting yourself into horrible situations just for a brief moment of respite from the loneliness.
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salsflore · 1 year ago
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#cw negative#its not that bad i just need 2 rant for a bit#because like why does my mother say such ridiculous shit sometimes#i went to go wash my dish and she said ah youre finally doing the dishes .. LIKE i try to but what do i do when my brother insists on doing#it everytime ! and takes it from my hands and blocks the sink and he’ll make a big fuss if i don’t let him do it !#like literally scold me and tell me to put it down or else he’ll get irritated#i lightheartedly told her that and then she was like well yeah you're still a woman then went on about how its the womans job to [ . . . ]#its really the small things like that i think. she has such outdated beliefs. i hear her saying things like its the womans job to take care#of the house and her man and etc and i'm like ok i Know i literally won't win if i try to do so much as nudge her#but then she also talks about other things that just irk the shit out of me !!! the rapture abortion etc#the one time she told me to my face if she couldve aborted me she would have. making comments on my body and just#i don't hate her. overall we have a good relationship. but its just these small things and her gross outdated beliefs and how gullible she#can be and stuff like that. she tells me i have such an easy life but i can't bear to tell her i was ever suicidal or ever self harmed#because i KNOW she'd tell me i'd go to hell if i ever tried to kill myself#i know this wholeee thing might be really intense and sad and stuff but i'm totally okay /gen i'm just! awfully irritated#thinking back on all those dumbass things she's said and done like. agh;;#its not her fault i think ive noticed a lot of filipina women (or at least the ones around me) tend to hold those beliefs so she was prolly#taught these as a child but . come on!! im so tired of the misogynistic shit she says and . ugh#cw self harm mention#cw suicide mention
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