#or well happier i guess
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I have a exam coming up but the urge to make friendship bracelets is so strong man
Also at like 3 am at night i had the genius idea to make a reggie kin core bracelet
The sun charm for james obviously and the name of the skittles there are little star charms i made in there i have high hopes for this
But i need some slytherin emerald green beads i can't go on without them
#marauders#regulus black#boygenius#julien baker#lucy dacus#regulus arcturus black#sirius black#phoebe bridgers#sirius orion black#dude the way all these tags were just ready for me i am just a predictable bitch#there is a electra heart bracelet in there#long live marina#marina diamandis#she is like the happiest music i listen to along with taylor's glitter pen pop songs#or well happier i guess
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That feeling when he can't stand to see you that way, no matter what you do, no matter what you say😩😭💔
#scott pilgrims precious little life#scott pilgrim vs the world#spvtw#spto#scott pilgrim#wallace wells#lisa miller#scollace#kim pine#natalie adams#envy adams#don't rlly know if I like how this turned out but oh well;;;#hope its obvious that this is based on the song “Scott Pilgrim” which the creation the comics were inspired from#the lyrics always make me think of Wallace and Lisa's feelings for Scott every time I hear it#ofc you could also relate it to Kim especially since the singers voice kind of reminds me of her#but overall the lyrics fit these two much better since Scott never truly “saw them that way” despite how long they've liked him#and they always seem happier to see him compared to Kim#Im surprised tho that I havent yet seen anyone draw these two together now that their dialogue parallels have been acknowledged more lately#also tho I wish more people pointed out that they both got cucked by red heads LOL#and Kim and Envy actually do look really similar when scott first meets them#makes me wonder if Scott subconsciously went for Envy since she reminded him of Kim (which would be fitting given that you could argue that#Envy dated Scott because he reminded her of Todd. Since he and Scott are confirmed to be meant to be seen as similar to one another#so much so that even their first and last names rhyme#last thing I'll add tho is that while Wallace and Lisa are very similar even personality wise#the one big difference is that despite that whole conclusion on vol4 of Scott not cheating on Ramona with Lisa because he loves her#the writers apparently think it would be “organically correct” for him to have an affair with wallace LMAO#but I guess we shouldn't be surprised since Wallace and Ramona are both in the front of the official valentines art which is clearly#a deptiction of Scotts wet dream or smth (oh and you could also argue that Wallace and Lisa parallel on that art since they're both#shirtless with white socks.. which could be a reference to how lisa wears skimpy clothes for Scott and Wallace often only wears boxers#to like sexually frustrate Scott for fun or smth
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he loves the folklore blanket so much lollll
#dr jones#cat#I got home and saw him sitting there in the first pic#and I was like bud that’s my desk chair I’m gonna need to move you in a minute… let me go set down my set and get settled in at home quick#I came back. and he’s completely curled up. covering his face with his paw. PURRING!#he said ohhhh you’re going to move me? really? well what if I was a small little boy who has never been happier ?#so yeah I guess he gets the chair.#I’m not comfortable at all but He is and that’s what matters !
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webcomic process thumbing: NOTHING MATTERS WEEE
sketching: ughhhhh I'm literally the worst artist known to man
lineart: ZEN MODE ACTIVATED THERE IS NOTHING BUT HAPPY STATIC IN MY BRAIN YAAAY
flat colors: I'm a fraud...I've tricked everyone
shading/final details: Hey...this is actually not bad...maybe I am a good artist :^)
repeat x 1000
#al speaks#dont take this post to seriously btw I'm just poking a little fun at myself#I tend to flip flop on loving/hating my art process so I wanted to make a funny joke about it#tbh ever since I started MTE I've slowly been switching more to being a lot happier with my art and having more fun then ever even with#things I find hard to draw... WELL I GUESS THIS IS GROWING UP :^)))
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I don't use Facebook for anything except keeping in contact with our ferret breeder, who I've been talking to again to get (hopefully) another couple kits this summer. I also don't keep in contact with anyone I went to high school with--people who make up the majority of my FB friendlist.
So, in opening FB for the first time in years, I was extremely amused to find that a solid 1/4 of the people I liked enough to friend them on FB have come out as some flavor of trans. Some I suspected, some were a complete surprise. But they all look so happy now, and I'm so happy for them. <3
#just feeling queer love feelings I guess#even though I don't keep in touch with anybody it still makes me happy that they've gone through a Gender Journey and made it out okay#hopefully happier than they were before#I hope they're all doing well#also yes I was part of several emo/scene/goth friend circles in the late 2000s so this is not Really a surprise#so many of us were clearly just baby queerlings in different closets#personal#ok to rb and add on but don't clown I'm very tired
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. . .is a small fico. . .a ficcino? A ficetto? A ficello? A ficuccio. . . .
#i don't know italian#danie yells at tokyo debunker#i was imagining for some reason a temporary curse that gives you like a child body#and taiga playfully/mockingly using some italian diminutive for romeo but since it doesn't work well with 'lulu' he uses 'fico'#yes he could just call him 'lulu-chan' but consider. using his title that means 'cool/handsome man' is a lot funnier.#wiktionary says '-uccio' can be used in a patronizing way so i guess that's work for the reason i'm thinking about it#but it can also be attached to words to make them more affectionate(like 'amoruccio')#which if true could make romeo happier instead#i once again do not know italian and had this as a fleeting thought lmao
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For a second request: Philza and Ghostbur interacting! Ive always found this idea SO interesting. Like, that's your son that you killed interacting with you even though it's not technically your son but he looks like him and kinda sounds like him but it's NOT him. The mental toll that would take.
Day 6 - So many friends!
#My art#Requestober#DSMP#Ghostbur#Ph1lza#Theirs really is one of the more tragic dynamics on DSMP huh#'Cause like you said - Ghostbur isn't Alivebur! And yet he has enough of his memories to be Something#That's not Phil's son - and yet he's also not NOT Phil's son huh ♪#I mean it doesn't exactly help that Phil adopts kids left and right lol but still for That Specific relationship#I really think the most heartbreaking aspect is that that Phil knows that Ghostbur is a ''happy'' ghost -#And yet the memories he kept of Phil are so - well y'know ♫#Ghostbur's a really fascinating character and Wilbur portrays him so well <3#Anyway on a happier note haha - Friend! :D#Friend has a bunch of blue on him 'cause Will was petting him pfft#Ignore that his wool is already blue shhh shshshshhhshsh lol#Petting his ears and squishing his cute little face! Very important spectral activities lol#And then Phil's also patting his head! All sorts of nice pats!#Was nice to draw Phil digitally too :D Been a while since I drew him last!#I guess you could interpret it as him only having one wing (although it's his left wing that's injured isn't it? Or is that just fanon lol)#But really the other one is just blocked out by his body haha#I miss Ghostbur :') The compilations just aren't the same as having him around a bit longer
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youtube
anyways, stream aizo’s first song as shibasaki aizo too, in this trying time
#ngl i want ken to have a yuko song too… <-selfish desires#i want to know if he’ll forgive yuko too for. y’know.#bc i’m sure that as an older sibling there’s just no way that you could forgive your parent for hurting your younger sibling that easily…#and yet there’s also the fact that you still have nice memories of the parent in question during happier times and such… so. well.#i want ken’s perspective too~~~~ give our favourite clown more depth and shed more light on his love for aizo lol#though. well. i’ll probably end up crying if they really did… their story hits too close man.#such is the life of a mentally weak weakling~~~~~ i guess…#anyways stan samishigayriya never forget the aiyuu canon ok bye#Youtube
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u guys ever think about killing urself for everyone elses sake.
just so people wont have to go thru the annoyance of talking to me or the disgust of seeing my face so they can be happier by talking to their other friends instead of me so they dont have to deal with my actual fucking stupidity
#tw vent#tw suicide#ingnore this. btw. or dont i cant stop you lol#imsso close to cutitng off everyone i know so they can be happier i alreadyblocked a few people i knewnow ionly know one person irl#imf so glad she found other people so she'll be completely fine if i disappear out of her life her life sounds like its going great actuall#ruining my life ^_^#i dont want to talk to people but for their sake#IM GENUINELY SO FUCKING STUPID AND UPSETTING TO TALK TO .#does anyone even love me anymore#im probably doign this for my own selfish reasons#i dont go outside anymore for everyone else sake. so they dont have to see my ugly face. or deal with my awful speech#at least i can still draw.... only way i can mkae people happy..#im mean to myself more than anyone else is mean to me at htis point. why#im not even capable of becoming mentally well at hthis point. im a lost cause#tell me what you rlly think . just tell me to shut the fuck up. just call me annoying. whatever u say cant be worse than what i do to mysel#pleasee im just dragging u down and making u feel worse whenever u tlak to me DO YOU NOT REALISE IT#i dont want to feel better for myself i want to feel better so i can be useful to others#i fucking hate people but i love them a lot . i gues i just hate how i affect others. social outcast i guess
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Okay but why is playing low honor Arthur so damn hard like I really wanna do a low honor run but makin him be mean is like a punch to the gut lmao
ESPECIALLY THE END SCENE LIKE??? you're telling me I can just go back to the cave for the money and leave John to go off on his own?????? Even the thought of that sends me into a coma
#i just want him to be happy#i mean either way he isnt happy but still#happier i guess#damn you red dead and your insanely well written characters#Arthur Morgan#rdr2
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A bit more of world building with a possible OC, White-Naped Crane focused.
I know that I mentioned in a previous world-building post that the White-Naped Cranes were part of a ruling priest class, in the old Joseon style species caste system, that was overthrown generations ago in my AUs.
The caste system is based around the idea of Confucianism, with the ideas of ritual performance and piety towards a leader. This is combined slightly with Shamanistic and Hindu values that somewhat did influence the traditional Korean values, that hold that an authority figure should make rules and laws for the good of the family/community, all turned into a religion that held the caste system and separation of species as holy.
Although, whether the cranes fully worship this idea, or just want to reclaim the power they used to have, is a mystery they keep to themselves.
In real life, White Naped Cranes live in the demilitarized zone of North Korea, but will migrate to other countries each year, primarily to Japan, where they depend on a specific sanctuary to feed them.
(White-Naped Crane migration distribution)
I find that it does make sense for the majority of the population of White-Naped Cranes to go to Teikoku (Japan) during their migration, since the kingdom there would welcome the Cranes due to shared shamanistic beliefs, as well as possible information sharing about Flower Hill. Flower Hill doesn't necessarily like this, but the White-Naped Cranes are traditionally from Flower Hill, so for diplomatic purposes and migration rights, they are allowed to stay for now, even if they do run large temples in the south of the peninsula that the weasels flock to. Besides, their ability for Opera performances is superb at festivals (very popular in North Korea).
Their migrations have them bring back strange, new ideas of subservience to emperors and the old caste system, and they cause enough disruptions with their preaching that Flower Hill considers revoking their traditional permits to come and go as they please.
The carnivores in the south still believe that they are superior to smaller animals, so the cranes' preaching is more welcome there. Especially since Teikoku left a few colonies down there.
Which brings up the concept of migrating species that I will have to figure out, but I assume such travel will be allowed unless it will be too dangerous. There are small birds in the show that appear non-sentient at first glance, since they don't wear clothes, but they can also talk and participate in festivals.
But most of the migrating species in Korea do appear to be the cranes. Ducks migrate as well, but I assume that the ducks in the show have eschewed that tradition since they are part of the navy.
So, I have created the leader of the White-Naped Cranes, Chongsu (Superior/Supreme leader). She is also a mudang shaman who participates in traditional rituals, as much as Flower Hill participates in those other than enjoying operas. Since the role of such a leader is hereditary, her father was the previous leader, who passed away due to a mysterious illness. However, she is rather young, and also sickly, so cannot leave her temple for long periods of time, and certainly not without an escort.
(I'll find an OC generator that does cranes eventually. Or I'll just draw one myself)
Her biggest wish and command is for all races and species to get along with each other. What she does not realize, is that as the supreme leader, this could possibly be misinterpreted as a command for her people to reinstate the caste system, by any means possible, which could even mean teaming up with weasel or tiger leaders who also wish to return to the caste system.
As the leader of her group, she does occasionally have to meet with the Commanders of Flower Hill, but is sickly enough that the higher priests that serve as her guards often speak for her.
This makes the Flower Hill Commanders very suspicious of the White-Naped Crane population, because after all:
The Commanders are very aware of the power she wields over the White-Naped Cranes, and that she could be manipulated into giving orders to perform hostile actions. They just don't know when it could happen, but assume it will due to their friendly relations with the enemy. But ordering the Cranes to stop leaving the country, investigating their loyalty, or ordering them to leave since they do share more beliefs with Teikoku than Flower Hill, could be seen as an illegal purge or discrimination towards a minority group by the international Hague courts, which would get Flower Hill in trouble and decrease support.
Since I am roughly using the world map as seen in the show, I am making up some names for countries that are somewhat related to the country and culture. Also, mostly focusing on countries that have strong relations with North Korea, both good and bad.
I will be going with the idea that Rabbit Village is China. The police work with Flower Hill in capturing 'escaped criminals.'
Chaand Hadia (Moon Gift) is Pakistan. This country has a close relationship with North Korea in real life, to the point of smuggling in nuclear weapons.
Japan will be called Teikoku (Imperial State/country). They have tried to take over the Peninsula in the past, but an internal civil war and economic strife forced them to leave their colonies behind.
South Korea, with the weasels, I would think would be the colonies left behind, which still believe that Teikoku want them to take over Flower Hill, and possibly the continent. However, since the ideals and culture have drifted away from proper Teikoku values, it is unknown if their parent country wants anything to do with them. I have decided to call the country Usuhan Jiyeog (Superior Area/Territory). They also believe in weasel/carnivore superiority, and thus see Flower Hill as weak, and ripe for the taking.
Supposedly, the Wolf Unit represents America, to the point that US can be seen printed on merchandise in relation to the wolves. So I guess I'm calling the country the wolves came from the Unites States Alliance.
Jindo Dog Island (or Jindo empire), is an actual place. It is the only location that has the authorization to breed the National Korean Jindo Dog. The waters there can be very dangerous, so it makes sense to turn it into a powerful nation.
I also made up a country named Chambelli Koh, which is Urdu for Flower Hill, which will be used for a different AU. Although it could be used by both Flower Hill and Chaand Hadia as a buffer zone, since any invading weasels coming from that angle would take over that small country first.
#can it work in the canon of the show? Is the rule for this until I write the hyena AU#I'll mix and match what I want as long as the research into both North Korea and Squirrel and Hedgehog matches up well enough#nameless background characters doing important things supports OCs having small roles I guess#Since otherwise they would be nameless background characters so I might has well give them names and lore#And do other AU stories with them later#Like no one else wants certain characters in the show to have happier endings#or be the hero of another story#what happened to the mouse? Indeed...#I should create a side-blog to store all the world-building posts or something#then I wouldn't have to offer explanations under the cut#squirrel and hedgehog#sah#SaH#sorry for the rambling I'm a bit off today#I still have to figure out India#but it doesn't appear to have a big impact with North Korea other than keeping peaceful diplomacy
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#just an observation bc im avoiding working on stuff but i draw a lot and post basically everything i draw thst gets finished#and its v funny to me how u can tell how out of focus i was based on the quality of the drawing#or like when i post something and its like ok some of that was good but u def gave up halfway thru one of those lol#inconsistency i funny like that. its also funny to me that now a days i get comments like COLORS!!!#which is funny bc i notoriously haaaaaate coloring. like i will sit around whining and complaining when im home with my parents bc i dont#wanna color. its just so easy to fuck things up when u draw traditionally and it takes a million years so its a big ask lol#but i guess i dont hate is so much right now bc i kinda just slap whatever colors i want together like fuck it we ball#and thats kinda fun. reckless i suppose#its agony when u wanna try to do shadows and lights tho. like finding references ugh#or wanting to draw big ideas but then its like oh god its gonna take so long and if i dont do it all in one sitting i might die#im a lil better abt thst now bc it would b impossible but in my head i still hate it#ugh. all i wanna do is draw. theres another universe where i went to art school. or just like took art classes. and i wanna say id b happier#but thats def a lie XD i like learning too much and i dont have the attention span to hardcore learn genetics outside an academic#environment. and i got way too excited abt exploring the genetic traits of my cyano species#like i can make genetics trees for traits and look for. fuck. i forgot the word. how tf did i forget the word. oh god. horizontal gene#transfer. jesus christ its like theres a hole in my brain. well. i guess i did get only like 4hrs sleep. ugh im rambling.#i need to finish getting ready for Monday so i dont have to tomorrow and ill have time to draw. prob wont stop me feeling nauseous abt#teaching tho. OH FUCK. i just remembered i have a new office space now to decorate. fuck i need to hang up pictures and stuff#what would b the funniest way to put narut0 on my deskspace? idk ill have to think abt it. oh god im not ready#my head is like a handbell. one of the big ones when u ring it and it hits soft and u can feel the vibrations. someones wrung my head lol#unrelated
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It is kind of annoying to me how people draw some happy au of *insert dysfunctional fictional family* but write stuff like "their family if they divorced!!!" like the fuck girl you think divorce would magically solve all pre-existing problems? Sure, they can become happier but it isn't magic. They all are still the same people
#I am biased cause my parents divorced and I didn't become even one bit happier because of it#like sure. Leave abusive relationships. But I am tired of this being posed as easy and happy way and not a hard one#cause it's hard for everyone and it has its own problems. and you can be happy about your parents divorce. I am not#and I am annoyed by how it is never talked about nowadays that it's not sunshine and rainbows#Well I guess anti-divorce people and conservatives might talk about it but I want a sincere conversation not populism#just call it a happy family au if you want to devoid the character of all their trauma#off topic but why grammarly thinks my tumblr tags are 'sensitive field'
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man I almost posted some thoughts about this "is kink sexual" thing going around, and then I stopped and was like, "is this something I would be happier writing about in my journal to sort out my thoughts?"
anyway, sometimes I wonder how many people engaging in The Discourse would feel better if they just grabbed a pen and a blank paper notebook.
#slice of life#potatoblog#journaling isn't free#but if you're not precious about how fancy your journal is then it's so fucking cheap#I just ran the numbers and my current journal is well less than two pennies a page#anyway I wonder how many people who post on here would be happier with a pen and paper and privacy#each page has two sides mind#so I guess it's less than a penny per page#there is something very satisfying about writing out your thoughts with a pen#and the physicality of moving the pen and the way your body and posture change the quality of the marks you make#I just really like physical media okay?#no reblogs please#not that I'm really worried about that lbr
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this new era at arsenal is genuinely great. we’ve had a great season, we have the best manager, we’re signing top players, the vibes are great. but but but sometimes i do miss ramsey and bellerin and woj AND granit xhaka
#don’t get me started on alexis and chambo#or the magic özil brought us back in the day#we used to have fun then as well#its literally only elneny and holding left from wenger’s era#and like. i’m happier as an arsenal fan now lmao#and it’s crazy that we have guys like rice choosing arsenal with his entire chest now#bc just a couple of years ago#this was unthinkable lets be real#BUT i guess i get nostalgic sometimes
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ok. giving myself 4 minutes to make this post and then i finish my homework. i just am so deeply miserable. i really think i made a mistake. i should not be in grad school. i only took a year between this and undergrad and i am still so burned out and mentally ill. im working full time. im only taking one class and this program is supposed to be so good and aligned with what i want and all of that. but i just cant stand having homework. i just cant stand it. i think i am not cut out for academia even though i work in academia. i think i will never get better as long as im still living at home but i have to get better before i can no longer be living at home but i cant get better until im not living at home and every day i still live at home saps away at my will to live quite literally. i should not have started doing grad school without regaining my will to live. without restoring my love for reading and writing that i used to have voraciously when i was younger and less deeply miserable. without recovering from the burnout. i think i made a mistake. i need a masters degree so bad so that i can be safe but i need to not have fucking homework when i already struggle to get through my days without school. i feel so stuck in my life and hopeless and helpless. i dont know what to do
#purrs#i cant drop out or anything because. lol and this class isnt even that big of a deal like i TRULY am freaking out over nothing. but my life#situation is so bad rn bro like i cant get my parents to take me out to drive and i cant get myself to get my parents to take me out to#drive and every day i am guilt tripped berated etc etc and i feel like i am never ever ever going to be able to have my own life where i a#stable and safe and happy. it can happen for other people except for me and my siblings. i dont know. im not explaining anything well.#i just cant do this. i need to not have this one more thing on my plate but i have to because if i dont have a masters degree in my field i#am nothing even though everyone is telling me that isnt true and all of them are credible but im just so mentally ill i cant believe anyone#and icant accept any advice or hope or whatever good about me i just. am stuck. this is as good as it gets and its not even good.#delete later#that was 7 minutes not 4 and i didnt even write anything substantial. nutshell. i just have been so fucking depressed lately oh my goddddd#this is maybe too strong of a thing to say but like. i know it isnt technically neglect if i am an adult but... i think i may kind of be#neglected by my family in some ways a little bit and always have been but like. emotionally. like in the ways in which im never a priority#and the things i need are seen as burdens etc etc. and theres nothing anyone can do about it even myself because im an adult but like lol.#24 year old dependent moment <3#well there is one thing i can do about it as an adult actually. its called move out. but that requires strength i will#never possess unfortunately due to the inherent flaws in my character and constitution so. guess this is it lawl 🥰#side note (and i swear im done after this lol): i think i was doing a lot better mentally over the summer. funny how when the semester#starts i get depressed and the depression just gets worse and worse until the end of the semester 😻 funny how this is my seventh year like#this. willingly subjecting myself to this. that should be a clue no? but i love my job and if i could just have my job and be stable in it#would be happier but also im lying to mysaelf and i will always be unhappy but its because of my mental illness not my job being bad or#anything its like. i am just sick in the head with impostor syndrome and thats how i got myself into this whole mess. lol#well that and the not moving out thing which is partially my fault but also because i live in hell as described earlier! <3
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