#or videogames period
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You’d think that after more than a decade of trying Twitter, leaving Twitter, trying Twitter again, and leaving Twitter again…I’d learn to just stop doing it. It’s so unhealthy for me, has brought out my worst self.
#kayli talks#anyway I’ve deactivated#my gaming Twitter is still up#but I’m probably going to get rid of that one too#because I never use it#and I don���t have time for streaming#or videogames period
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I have to figure out a way of getting more interest in my oc stuff without needing to draw as much because I dont have the time or energy to draw as much as I would like, which includes a lot of concepts and/or scenes that are in my head only but can't commit to drawing, but it feels like most people are only interested in visual stuff as opposed to just written stuff (and for good reason, visuals are flashy and all!) It just makes me a little sad that I cant draw and share everything Id like to show, and what I can do most is talk about it, but that barely ever gets responses unfortunately
#in general though its hard to keep an online presence recently im so tired from everything all i wanna do is play videogame or watch youtube#and I dont have that much time to even think abt ocs cause of irl stuff ^^; case in point- ive been struggling with CD a LOT#for many reasons. so i have been focusing on HR instead bc oughgh i love it sm. but even so I have trouble finding time to just#THINK about it?? its so wack. like just thinking abt it takes time!!#thunderclap#idk man kjdffdk this is so weird i dont like being in this weird transitory period of my life i want this to be done#a lot of the ppl i spent time with online are also incredibly offline lately as well so i dont have as much of a reason to be online myself#everyones busy everything changes. very strange feeling
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#cyberpunk 2077#cyberpunk 2077 photomode#cp2077edit#cyberpunk photomode#videogame photography#dailygaming#my screens#rosalind myers#president rosalind myers#president myers#madam president#madame president#videogamewomen#cyberpunk 2077 phantom liberty#phantom liberty#phantom liberty spoilers#featuring the trailer outfit#too powerful for mere mortals to gaze upon for an extended period of time#also featuring That Smirk ™️#that smirk#from the queue
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Stifflip & Co. (Amstrad CPC/ZX Spectrum, Binary Vision, 1987)
Ingenious interwar interepidness awaits in this 8-bit comic-book-style parody adventure, starring four British heroes on a quest in South America to stop an evil genius from using a Rubberizing Ray that can un-starch wind-collars, loosen stiff upper lips, relax moral standards, and worst of all... alter the bouncing of cricket balls!
You can play it in your browser here. The ZX Spectrum version has a second part that requires a password given at the end of the first. You can read the Spectrum version's instruction manual here.
#internet archive#in-browser#amstrad#amstrad cpc#zx spectrum#game#games#video game#video games#videogame#videogames#computer game#computer games#comic#comics#parody#interwar period#adventure games#obscure games#weird games#1987#1980s#80s
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It's going to be a slow work week so I want to open up sketch requests more officially!
But this time I literally mean anything with humanesque characters. I'm a 90s kid and I feel like I am vaguely familiar with pretty much any character from at least shows and movies that you could put in front of me that came out since then and likely a bit earlier
#I do have a videogame weak spot cause i had only played 3 games until 2019#but i will try my best! again. familiar with them in passing. my friends were gamers and i watched#but weird animated movies? i am an expert.#I've seen most anime characters in passing from going to conventions for 15 years and I've seen a lot from certain time periods.#i dont watch a lot of live action tv but like... i know of those weird boys#like I've seen most bakshi and bluth movies and things in that genre. my favorite cartoon from growing up is w.i.t.c.h. ive got range.#if the anime is from 2011ish i was probably obsessed with it#shit like that#devon yaps#art requests#digital aritst#artists on tumblr
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met someone new at climb soc today whose name is chell and I was like oh my god like portal..... 😳 and apparently that was the first time someone had ever gotten their reference we shall have a summer wedding
#I LOVE U TRANS VIDEOGAMERS. theyre rly cool and also very pretty and clearly have good game taste i hope they climb regularly!!#okay i need to get home tho before it gets dark and also so i can eat smth before going straight to bed bc work tmr.. sigh#hope my roommate saved some hot water for meeee im so stinky. surprised myself today tbh i thought i would find it harder than i did#cuz im on my period.. and i did get tired pretty quick but i managed to make progress on a couple that were bugging me last week#SO CLOSE TO GETTING A COUPLE MORE V3S!!!!!!! and its so nice climbing with other ppl theyre so helpful i feel so confident around them#i can def see my climbing is gonna massively improve just by going once a week#anyway yes getting my bike see yall later#.diaries
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I was afraid that I'd wasted money just to not wait a couple days extra without PC but no the black Friday sales started and my PC is not only not on sale but it's 10€ more 🥰
#huge weight on my chest gone#i was getting so worried especially because my period is awful this month and I haven't been able to do much#at least in the only 3 hours I've worked these two days I've solved two things that were bothering me so much#so little but very good work!#my girlfriend keeps saying i shouldn't do to much when I'm feeling this bad and I'm trying to actually take care of myself#which is disgusting but eh#instead of pushing myself like i wanted today i napped a lot#so yeah everything went well#i got a double more powerful pc with just 250€ extra by giving back the old pc still on warranty#and i just had to sacrifice the monitor for it#i say just as if i don't feel like crying thinking about how good that monitor was fjdjdj#but now I'm using a big tv and that looks great for videogames! it's just a bit ugly for work
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🎼
🎼 your favorite music to draw to right now?
I've been listening to the silent hill 3 & 4 osts to draw for a while now sjfjfkfk but also I've been listening to relaxing enderal ost compilations on ytb for the past couple of days. Pretty nice, chill fantasy vibe
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i fucking adore watching interviews with neil newbon where he talks about bg3 and his role as astarion. idk if it's just me but i get swept up by shit like this really easily, and you can see it so easily how much love he has for his role + the game in general. how much love larian has for bg3. it just makes me so !!!! i love it
#( * ₊ 🦋◞ ˚ ) ⠀ ⪼ ⠀ esther's schemes.#ngl it recently started to drive home the fact that i consider wanting to become a videogame writer#bc i know i wanna do smth with tech but i also know i can't do smth as my job where i can't embrace my creativity ughghgh#anyway this is your monthly esther's on her period ramblings
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I want him to see me in his sex dreams AND his nightmares.
#personal#guess whos goin thru it again? it me#come to my party with someone elses hickies on your neck? bitch at least have the courtesy to buy some fucking foundation wtf#i sleep til past midday just to make more of the day go by when im a wake up at 7am kind of person#but youre too busy threatening other people in videogames with your own life to notice or care. your boke up with me because#i threatened my life. and you can just koke about it in game? to strangers?#i knew this boy was as fucked in the head as i am but like. sometimes it just aligns the exact wrong way and this is one of those periods#i hope whoever gave you that hickey fucking dies of the most painful and prolonged stroke in medical history right before you see them next
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i am. so sick of cliffhanger endings
#this is the last time im watching a new movie#never again. i am not doing the same dance again#idk when theyre planning on releasing the third sp*derverse movie but im not gonna go see it#like at this point no matter when it comes out ill have stopped giving a shit about the story so like.#thats what happened w the first movie as well but at least that was a complete story so i had like good memories of it in the meantime#w this one its just like. okay cool i got nothin. great. wasted 7 dollars and hours of my time. thanks#i know im like the only person on the planet who feels this way apparently and thats fine im glad everyone else is having fun w it#i just wish i had known ahead of time that it wasnt gonna have an ending bc then i wouldnt have gone to see it#and then the credits wouldnt have felt like such a slap in the face#mannnn everything i try to get into lately is just letting me down i think im just gonna stop watching shit period#ill just stick to videogames#like subn*utica b*low zero was not very good but at least i got a complete story out of it#id rather have that than this shit#my precious videogames would never do this to me <33333
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minor gripe about something in jedi survivor that bugged the crap out of me (spoilers under the cut)
when something along the lines of ‘cal you’re going to get yourself killed if you keep taking on the empire directly’ was said, i could agree with that. but then it’d be followed with something like ‘so you need to stop doing this.’
and i think what they were going for was that cal needed to find some damn balance. something more like merrin - it’s not that she stopped fighting the empire during her travels, it just wasn’t the only thing she did, and perhaps not her main focus.
but half the damn time they made it sound like ‘you’re not going to win this war so stop fighting it.’ and that bugged the absolute shit out of me.
because we know cal doesn’t win the war. we know 14 or so years later luke’s the one who drags darth vader back to the light and in the process causes the death of the emperor.
but the characters in jedi survivor cannot possibly know that!!! (the only people that don’t know how star wars goes are the characters living it!!!!!) there’s no reason cal couldn’t be a key person in ending the empire for all they know!!!!!
so i just wish they put a little more emphasis on, ‘we want you to stop fighting like you have a death wish because we care about you cal. and because this war isn’t going to be easily won and you need to pace yourself if you want to see that day.’ NOT ‘time to retire cal it’s not worth fighting the empire because we won’t win soon so let’s just all stick our heads in the sand now we have a safe haven.’
ngl in general i’m not thrilled with the ‘hidden planet the empire will never find us’ thing. it’s unsatisfying and sort of cop-out feeling, for me. i think i would’ve preferred something messier. the empire tracks them through the abyss. cal catches up to bode on nova garon and the compass gets destroyed in their battle. also bode lives because i say so. navigating that would be such a fascinating thing. cal cannot stand him because he directly/indirectly caused the death of the two surviving jedi cal knew. and he helped cal with killing a third. and yet...that means he’s the only other survivor cal knows. they had something, once. is it worth rebuilding? do they go their separate ways and yet inevitably continue crossing paths? do they all stick together and cal and bode fight over how the fuck do they teach a force-sensitive kata, only for kata to be five steps ahead of them and already has merrin teaching her nightsister magick because she doesn’t want to be like either of them? is the way bode convinces everyone he’s changed by going on life-changing field trips with each one of them?
the possibilities are endless as proven by my constantly growing collection of fic snippets.
#guys i am SO normal about this game (lying)#is this a lasting fixation? they'll announce news about a new game or something and i'll pop up like a sleeper agent?#or is this one of those temporary ones that years later i don't understand why i got so obsessed for a short period of time?#WE SHALL SEE#they announced what. nine more movies and ten more tv shows#me: fixates on star wars videogames instead
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ughhhh
#mood rocketing downhill. thjs can only end well :-(#on my period and so tired and sad and lonely and i really really really want a hug im going to bash my head in with a rock#and a bit annoyed i spent ages testing climbing shoes today which ive been meaning to do for ages and the staff were rly nice#and i got a pair in the end but tbh i may end up returning them bc on reflection im not sure theyll work for my specific climbing style#what i rly wanted was a few sizes down of my current ones but they didnt have stock. and i tried the size i wanted in a variation of the#same shoe ie. same shape just not the rubber im after and they fit near perfectly so now im just thinking abt them instead.#u know what fuck it. ill take the train to my old city tmr and go to the climbing store there bc i checked online n they do have them.#ill just be constantly doubting my decision if i dont and i need to do smth nice for myself. and i can read on the train#and if they dont fit better well i have these other ones. and these ones are still nice! but im worried theyre more suited to sport/trad#and im primarily a boulderer... and i mean theyd def be good for some types of bouldering and i wanna get into sport/trad anyway but arghhh#whatever. fuck it. booked my train its not that expensive anyway just time. im tired of letting my decision paralysis get to me#and always settling for shit that makes me unhappy bc its not quite what i want but i talk myself into pretending im okay with it#when im not!!! and its unfair to myself and everyone around me to so consistently fail to identify n communicate my actual wants/needs#this isnt actually abt the shoes im upset for other reasons but at least projecting it onto this gives me a semblance of control#and gives me an easy way out of having to confront n deal with my avoidance...... it literally has no fucking limits huh.#well whatever. i need to food shop and eat and shower and then its okay ill play a videogame and go to bed early#its not been that bad a day i watched a movie this morning which was nice. and it was nice to cycle around the weathers great#probably havent slept enough. probably took my afternoon meds too late. probably just feeling lonely and tired and on my period....#tomorrow will be a nice day and monday i have climbing and there are other nice things coming up. puts down my head bashing rock#okay feeling a bit better now ive cried a bit and typed this. deep breath. wheres my shopping list.#.diaries#.vent#byeee
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this was about tlou
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And you bit my lip when I kissed you I bit my tongue not to tell you that I miss you We shared my blood for an instant and I would trade some more to have it back Yeah I would trade all of this for that
#p#losing my mind#and the fact that#literally my german friend kept saying matchbox and it was a joke because i like how it sounds in german#and then also her saying she would learn how to say it in german just to make me blush#and me saying i would laugh and her saying i know. and her biting my lip so hard almost to the point of blood sometimes#and me not wanting feelings at all but having them and her saying she doesnt know if she has them#and me just laughing like an asshole at our predicaments and random hour long phonecalls. her asking me why im laughing so much#and sending memes and talking everyday but no feelings right? but well talk about it in a month#and my ex coming back. havent called her an ex here yet but im SURE im fucking sure that i will be So confused when i see her#like i dont think ive ever not been in love with my ex. i dont know what its like not to be in love with her#and when shes away its managable it doesnt hurt as much but she will be here soon.#and im losing my mind im just listening to the same 5 songs over and over and hyperfocusing on feelings because thats what i do#when i should actually be just like#playing videogames#the fact that i havent been single ONCE since i was 15 should say something about me?#like i have not been single for a period of over 2 months even though every time im like. ok this is it i need some time to myself#SOMEONE appears and im like. in it again. and i try to hold back but either im incapable or i actually want it deep down#which like. therapy. i should go to therapy.#no ill just listen to RKS forever.#anyway im not in a new relationship i just was in a weird situation where i spent literally 20h a day with the same girl#and slept with her 3 times a week and we held hands and kissed goodbye everyday#and made plans to travel next year with the group of friends that we share and we just didnt. talk about it.#until we went on a date 2 days before she left for christmas and the date accidentally lasted 28h. so we said goodbye at midnight#and she had to leave at 6am#and i just walked out of her apartment literally just saying what the fuck to myself over and over#and i got hit with the wind outside and it was like all of that month just punched me straight in the chest like i was Out of breath!#but its not a relationship and i cannot define my feelings and she doesnt know if she has feelings#i know it sounds fake#also i still love my ex
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I've seen a few of the hyperspecific polls but I wanted to do one with less likely things that I've done but not too obscure that no one gets any.
Option 1: Anyone's but yours. Human. For any reason.
Option 2: Worked at all hours. Different shifts. Different jobs.
Option 3: Castle. You know.
Option 4: To anyone or myself. Fully silent. It wasn't even a condition or anything.
Option 5: One game, adding up full series doesn't count. Or it does, up to you.
Option 6: Intentional. Could be an accident. Could be your own (?).
Option 7: Any edition.
Option 8: What fluency means is up to you.
Option 9: Long vacations, staying over at some friend's place, moving, etc. Just a reasonably "long" period of time and not say, two days.
Option 10: Easy option I suppose?
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