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#and if they dont fit better well i have these other ones. and these ones are still nice! but im worried theyre more suited to sport/trad
sturniolo04 · 2 days
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The Confession 1 C.S.
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Fwb!Mean!Chris x Fwb!Fem!Reader
A/N: I tried something different :)
*Really long you have been warned.
I dont even know how I ended up in this position. One minute my best friend Madi thinks she likes both Matt and Chris and the next she is 100% Matt. Me and Madi are super close I mean we practically grew up together and when we met the triplets in Boston everything changed, our circle grew just a little bit bigger. Lately, I haven't been the best friend to Madi just because I have been neglecting to confess to her about my secret crush on Chris and I am not the type to run over her if she knows she likes Chris because who am I to tell her she can't like him especially since I haven't told her that I did.
its about 1:50 in the morning and by this time Madi had walked all the way to a park and found a bench to sit and bawl her eyes out she couldnt figure out why she was feeling this bad whether it was that she couldnt articulate how she hurt Matt and Chris or if it is was because she cant choose between chris and matt she knows them both equally for a long time. sighing looking down at her phone finally deciding to call the one person she knew is always there. Holding in my tears as the dial tone rings hoping she wasnt asleep yet.
"Hello Madi"
jess speaks into the phone
"Jess"
she states through choked tears
"Madi what's going on love what happened" 
"i messed up really bad and i dont know what to do"
she exclaims letting her tears fall
"Madi"
"I like chris and matt and ive might have messed up our friendship"
"no madi you didnt okay i promise you didnt they are still your friends and they love you"
you quickly reply feeling that heavy feeling in your chest again as she still thinks she like chris.
"i dont know"
she replies through a fit of tears
"its okay promise try to get some sleep and you will feel so much better tomorrow i promise"
you reply reassuring her.
"okay goodnight"
she sniffles out
"goodnight i will see you when you get back home "
she hung up from jess and sighed out once more calming her nerves proceeding to walk back to the house. as she made her way into the driveway sitting back on the concrete driveway where the night officially started 
"MADI"
you exclaim softly seeing her sitting on the driveway
"hi"
she replies quietly as she turns around to look at you
"i was so worried are you okay"
you ask again.
"im sorry"
you sigh squatting down and hugging her then sitting down next to her
"i fucked things up didnt i"
she huffs out
"what no well i mean chris and matt are not speaking to each other currently but i mean whats new"
you sigh out since madi basically confessed to both of them on the same night and them both finding out in this driveway tonight.
" but it was my fault im the reason they are mad at each other"
"no no youre not okay they are just being them okay they will grow up"
you reassure her
"but i mean i told you had feelings for chris too"
you state smirking trying to shake the heavy feeling in her stomach at that sentence.
"jesss"
"you know i love you"
you say side hugging her
'well im going to bed you think youre going to be okay"
"yeah thanks j" 
"okay"
you say standing up and walking back into the house as madi rests her head on her arms positioned on top of her knees as someone comes and sits next to her quietly
"hi matt"
she speaks softly out noticing his presence
"hey"
"im sorry"
"why you were just being honest" 
he sighs out
"i do really like you" 
she confesses again
"no madi you and chris are perfect and honestly it makes he was at least able to communicate how he feels about you without being oblivious about it im not the one you need madi you are way out of my league and im okay with that honestly"
he sighs out rambling
"what the actual fuck matt stop youre  out of my league why do you just automatically assume your not good enough" 
she exclaims frustrated standing up and wrapping the blanket you had brought her getting upset
"madi no youre not out of league okay just stay"
he says pulling her hand down a little as she sighs and sits back down as matt pulls me into him connecting our lips guiding her on his lap in the process. He tangled his fingers through her messy hair as he continue to make out with her. Her hands wrapped around his neck tightly as he stood up carrying her back into the house. shepulled away quickly he closed the door behind them and set her back on her feet.
"Matt if-if"
she trails of whispering
"wait"
he stops her as he pulls his and her shoes off leaving them downstairs as he swiftly picks her up again by her thighs taking her upstairs to her room quietly being sure not wake up anyone especially Chris. Matt leans back in after setting her on her bad standing in between her legs attempting to connect their lips again but madi halted him in the process.
"matt..seriously come on"
she giggles out as he sighs out stares at her as she bites her lip slowly.
"yes madi you were saying"
he chuckles out
"matt if- if we do this"
she trails off motions towards them
"no one can know yet"
"okay"
he kind of chuckles at the concept
"im serious matt"
she exhales out looking at him as his face softens at her response
"at least until i figure out how to tell" 
"chris"
"yeah because"
"i know i know"
he sighs out moving himself from in between her to next to her laying on her bed. 
"jess' mom might be coming to boston"
"what that so cool"
"yeah she called her when i walked off tonight"
"oh" 
"yeah"
"well im going to go"
he states standing up
"where"
she states worried
"dont worry just in the other room with chris maybe so you can get some sleep"
he chuckles out giving madi a forehead kiss as he walks out of her room.
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Madi wakes up the next morning mentally face palming herself considering well she basically made out with Matt after literally confessing to both brothers she has feelings for them. she rolled out of bed hoping everything will return to normal. she shower and put on this And head downstairs to be met with the face of the one and only
"good morning"
"whats up how are you feeling"
"better just like jess said"
"jess"
"i talked to her last night after everything"
"oh okay hey madi listen forget everything i said last night i was just being stupid it was nothing"
he states quickly realizing he also confessed that he liked you.
"chris i dont think it was nothing you dont have to lie about it"
"no im being for real"
"christopher"
"what im serious"
"okay then sound cool"
she states heading back upstairs
"where are you going"
"to wake up matt and everyone else"
Chris couldnt understand why he said that he literally let her get away again. His thoughts were soon interrupted the sound of jess's doorbell ringing. He went over and opened the door to reveal
"oh hi there i was- where is jess"
jess mom trails off
"she's upstairs um"
he trailed off kind of awkwardly since he had no idea that this jess's mom as what sounded like jess's laugh approaching the bottom of the stair case. I turned to see jess walking down with Nick and Madi being carried down the stairs by matt. the lady at the door cleared her throat as they all snapped out of their trance looking in that direction
"Mom"
she exclaims running over and hugging her
"mom"
Chris questions
"yeah.. mom this is chris, matt, nick and then you remember madi"
she trails off as chris waves his hand
"Hi you all"
she says with a raised eyebrow smiling
"jess; mom"
she exlcaims hugging her after jess
"hey madi"
"when did you get here" 
madi asks her
"last night when jess called"
Madi looks over at jess standing next to her as she shrugs her shoulders a little not wanting to talk about last night at all due to the fact she still felt the pit in her stomach of guilt of even allowing herself the like chris and not trust madi enough to even tell her that you liked him.
"so mom do you want to come on in then"
she states as madi and her both step aside to let her in
"how long are you going to be here for"
"just the weekend"
"maybe we can all go somewhere and just hang out for a little bit maybe grab dinner does that sound good guys"
she asks everyone
"im fine with that"
nick agrees nodding his head
"mom"
you question her
"sure plus i want to see all there is about Boston since this is my first time up here"
"well the triplets can definitely help point out those key spots since they've grown up here"
"literally"
chris chuckles out admiring jess' laugh slightly
"cool so do want me to ride with you"
"umm.. im going to ride with jess and her mom is that okay"
"uh yeah of course" 
madi and you grab your shoes and they all head out the door.
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"soo"
she trails off looking the mirror at the two girls in the backseat of the car
"what's going on with you and Matt Madi"
"uhh"
" yeah i was going to ask about that i mean i knew you guys made up because i saw him come outside after i left you after you came back home"
"umm i dont know what you guys are talking about"
"are you sure because i remember clearly you being carried down the stairs by him this morning"
"in a skirt too at that madii"
you exclaim dragging out the 'i' in your best friend's name
"oh come on what is that suppose to mean just because we made up doesn't mean we are dating"
"so your telling me he hasnt tried to make a move on you after everything that happened yesterday evening"
she asks as madi kind of stares off into space getting flashbacks to last night of literally her and matt making out in her driveway
"oh my god he totally did didnt he"
"what no jess no" 
"madi"
jess's mom exclaims trying to get an answer out of her
"OKAY maybe we might have made out in the driveway at like 2 in the morning"
"MADISON"
you exclaim at your best friend with your jaw dropped
"what i mean its wasnt like terrible"
she shyly replies.
"that you made out with your bestfriend the best friend you liked for literally ever or that he was actually good at making out"
"OH MY GOODNESS"
madi exclaims embarrassed
" just asking"
"OH MY GOD NO"
"it was definitely the second option"
you giggle out
"shut up Jess"
she exclaims pushing some of her hair behind her ear opening her phone
"just make sure you do and know what your heart wants madi" 
"of course always"
Taglist
@dirtylittleheart333 @stayingstromboli @wh0resstuff @mintsturniolo @spicymuffins03 @emely9274
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dunmeshiminimumwage · 6 months
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back when i worked at [large chain coffee store], i tried to unionize my workplace. my manager sat me down and gave me a very guilt trip-y talk. lots of "but i thought we were a family :(" and "you don't *really* know what unionization does, do you?" i played dumb and managed to avoid being fired, but. chilchuck momence.
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st4rstudent · 2 months
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bugthinker but I just did whatever to him
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bonus slop
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thegreatyin · 1 month
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mr spices and mr wines. also mr candles and mr veils.
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have you ever seen that one tumblr post that's like. "i don't ship these characters i just think they belong in couples therapy together". yeah. that's pretty much my stance on most spacebat ships
#the hearts on the veils/candles bingo are broken bc. well. yknow#ask#i do have slightly different outlooks on both of them#spwines is basically just canon to me in a divorced way. like. i dont think they're romantic. but i Do think they're infinitely divorced#the spwines divorce is extremely real#soulmates that will find each other in every universe type shit. except the soulmates is being Exes™ in every universe#their constant bickering is amusing and im delighted everytime they show up together bc without fail they argue. and it's enrichment for me#i just know the scoundrel is involving herself in the spwines divorce war on the side of mr wines#(she really needs better things to do with her time)#fallen london#veils/candles on the other hand i dont really actively ship? i think it's an intriguing prospect#i like seeing interpretations of their dynamic#but i dont think they necessarily ever had a relationship like that. and if they ever did. well. it's a bit fucked up now isnt it#the tragedy of candles is definitely a lot more tragic if you interpret him and veils as being Close. but i think of it as extra spice#on top of an already delicious dish#yknow?#that being said. they're kind of on the same Extreme Divorced wavelength as spwines. albeit obviously in a VERY different way#i think the most karmically fitting fate for veils is being tormented by its sins (particularly towards candles) for all eternity#and like. that's a ship. in a way. of a sort.#veils alone with the corpse it lovingly handcrafted and left to rot at the bottom of a well#it's the classic disney villain ending where the antagonist gets literally dragged away and punished by their victims#which is all to say#that one bag a legend text where veils is speaking to someone you cant see and it's Afraid. that's delicious#i love it being tormented like that and we all should hold candles over its head forever and ever
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bonestrouslingbones · 25 days
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btw one of the things i want to do when i really rap up atbb for real is spontaneously get the energy at will to do actual updated fullbodies of the main 4 since now i actually have the ability to draw them the way they look in my head & have the skills to put some more variety in their shapes. basically i wanna
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#warning big character design rambling in these tags but like. were u expecting any less#if ur wondering what changed-#first of all everybody has bigger hands bc i'm actively deciding to commit to that decision because i like it :3#next russ is a bit taller . i'll probably change some other things like making his armor look more solid & making him look more frail#-without it but i dont wanna pick up my tablet rn so thats all i feel like editing with my mouse lmao#edge has the biggest changes mostly in just being Wider. i want to make him Look stronger yknow#currently its just one of those annoying “skinny anime girl actually has 2d spraypainted abs and can lift a truck” tropes that i Hate#its a lil too many triangles when he should really be more like a triangle-flavored square. yknow#that being said the weirdly feminine hips were not intentional but only time will tell if they make it into the actual final design or not#i will not be making his pauldrons wider than they were originally. those things are already wacking everything around him they're fine#fluff's change is just being a bit skinnier so he looks more pathetic and sad. probably gonna try to make him look a bit younger too#but age is hard to represent with skeletons from The Land Of Sharp Features#i might also change up his pants/shoes more idk. Baggy Everything makes a very difficult silhouette and the boots are just boring tbhh#they're the bi flag but i dont think a single person has ever noticed lmao#and stretch's biggest change is that he's going to Have A Fullbody Reference That Isn't From 2019#probably make his hoodie longer/looser so i can make the transition to the leggings less awkward & show off his tank under it a bit more#the leggings & sneakers get to stay tho i think. the red wraps the design up well & the chicken legs are funny to me :>#and karma isn't here but he'll probably also get an update to be more square as well. and NOT SKINNYYYYYY#i gotta cram some more emotional repression & inferiority complex hints into his outfit so his post-void look contrasts more its IMPORTANT#AND ALSO NEVER USE UNDERTALE SPRITES AS A REFERENCE FOR ARMOR EVER EVER EVER AGAIN#that being said im really excited to one day finally sit down and draw his post-void design i think i'll have fun with that one#theres a reason my sf bros dont really fit their “roles” in the au yet like undyne & alphys do. hehehe#basically to sum up all these tags: becoming more skilled at art is a curse because you KNOW you can do things better now
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skunkes · 3 months
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Hello this is from an old post of yours (I was scrolling through the Fields of Mistria tag and got pretty far back I guess lol) but you mentioned most farming games that have come out are ugly and only like two are good. I assume one of the good ones is Stardew but what is the other? Which ones are ugly?
"ugly" was exaggerated for the frustrated tone of post, in reality many just arent to my taste, art direction wise... being 3D already strikes many of them out as I dont want games that will blow up my laptop but even then im not a huge fan of the styles of many of em even if i did enjoy the 3D ones (example being my time at port/ia.... i wld put this in the aforementioned category. i don't like looking at it)
i just know that 90% of the time someone recommends a farming game to me its either 3D graphics and/or "ugly" (to me)
(and its usually both bc i often will play games that blow up my laptop if i like them enough, like DQB2! i havent liked the style of any actual 3d farming game enough yet though)
also going really far back into the tag is so real i keep stopping myself from doing that too im so excited for da game ^_^
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bluegarners · 6 months
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bruce and dick got some emotional incest going on
hmmm not sure i quite agree anon! i can see where that might be the case, as even i tend to harp on those co-dependency these two display sometimes, but i don't think emotional incest is what is going on there. for those that do not know what this term means, emotional incest is when a parent or primary caregiver begins to rely on their child like they would a partner for their emotional needs. it does not involve any sexual or physical intimacy, as that would be sexual abuse. while i do think what bruce and dick shared was something close to toxic, it was also how they in general functioned? idk that doesn't make sense. i'll put it like this- bruce never thought to rely on dick for emotional needs. in fact, i would argue he tried not to rely on anyone for his emotional well being, and this is what causes most of the divides and troubles in his life. however, dick being a naturally perceptive person, recognized how closed off bruce is/was, and took it upon himself to try and get bruce to open up more and be emotionally present instead of constantly shutting down and shoving people away. the whole "child of an alcoholic" sums it up neatly, imo, bc bruce never intentionally relied on or even asked for dick to help solve his problems. a lot of the bumps in their relationship came from the fact that he felt dick was getting too close or wanted to help bruce too much, which not only frightened bruce but i think also made him aware of how much he couldn't do without the help of dick pointing things out to him
emotional incest isn't quite the right term to describe them, imo, and i think when you get into a space where ppl are constantly talking about it and implying that sort of thing, it's easy to be convinced that that is what they have. it's important, however, to also look at how bruce and dick are doing currently/in the past current canon/past the batman and robin dynamic. one of the long-term affects of being in an emotionally incestuous relationship is being unable to set boundaries or even recognize what a normal relationship with others is like, and with the added context of this being a superhero/vigilante world, i would argue that they are both doing just fine without each other. obviously we have to account for the sheer number of times they've been in life or death situations and whatnot, but i think dick functions quite well on his own and with the others in his life, and bruce does, too. both are mentally ill, i think, but they are also coping pretty well imo
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k8felge · 5 months
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nothing hurts more than seeing ur fave character depicted in an official au story or elseworld where details ab them r different but it explores the character in a new way -- its good in a vacuum, but u know it isn't the Definitive Version of that character. Just a new exploration (cool!). but because the adaptation brought in so many new fans and/or was a huge success it ends up being treated like its the Definitive Version and all discussions of prev versions are overshadowed bc of it... even worse when studios / execs see the success and try to pivot to this New Version only and never try to explore new routes for the character ever again (can you tell this is about comics yet)
#like its not as bad as it was but when the batman (2022) came out...#like this is not hating on ppl who are fans of these depictions at all. if u like the riddler in the batman (2022) ur fine#i like the riddler but eh i dont think that version should be the new riddler. my two cents#but dc isnt marvel so i wasnt worried ab them changing the comics riddler to him moving forward#now MARVEL on the other hand...#i dont rly go there tho so take everything with a huge huge huge pile of salt. but sigh#anyways. this post is NOT about shaming ppl who are fans of these new versions#you can be a fan of any of these new versions. idc.#this post is about STUDIOS and EXECS changing the character completely to capitalize on the new versions success#this is just mostly ab mcu i guess i dont know#i want more explorations of characters gimme moreeee there shouldnt be one defined version#i guess my talking points r confusing. i hope this is coherent and comes across well#ALSO SOME RETCONS / NEW VERSIONS R GOOD SOMETIMES!!! it just depends i guess :p#i hope this post didnt come off as malicious to fans of these versions.#HOWEVER. new fans u gotta try to read some of the other stuff too! maybe u will find another version u like TOO!#u can have two cakes... and eat them... lets hold hands and appreciate diff versions of our faves 2gether#a good example of a retcon being good is arcane i guess... not comics but just the designs r so much better#but i wouldnt say everything ab arcane SHOULD be the new runeterra canon...#it works bc its only focused on zaun and piltover characters. to fit it in with everything else is... hard#BUT THATS OK 👍
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now that my PI is like hey you should actually be sitting in the lab to write instead of doing it at home im shooting one million lasers at his head in my mind. fuck off
#exploding and killing even. WHO GIVE A WHOLE FUCKING SHIT MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!#ESPECIALLY since our AC is fucked up rn and my office is the only fucking one thats still hot#hes like oh you can work in [other girls] office shes out this week!!! like omg thank youuuuu thats a perfect setup for me 🥰🙏🏻#working in someone elses office doing work i can do exclusively at home because you think i should be in here even when you and nobody else#is. or you are but its not like we’re even seeing each other. awesome!!! 😁😁😁😁😁❣️#i dont know why hes doing this now. he literally hasnt given a shit before like he said verbatim when i joined the lab a YEAR AGO that he#doesnt need us to be in here all the time if we dont have anything in-person that we have to do. as long as we’re getting our work done.#AND I AM BITCH. SO WHY. THE FUCK. ARE YOU THROWING A LITTLE PISSY FIT ABOUT IT NOW. KILL YOURSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#okay whatever. i really like him and hes a lot better than some other PIs that have their students coming like 8-5 even if they have nothing#to do. like literally to the point where theyre playing cards and watching movies and shit. so it could be worse#but i dont know why he is MAKING it worse. when we literally had a perfectly fine lab dynamic going on. WHATS YOUR DEAL!!!!!#ugh whatever. its probably just bc its summer and hes like why the hell am i in the lab if nobody else is!!!!!#well man sorry to say it but you have kids. so im sure if you need work done you have to come here. but i dont have shit so i CAN work from#home with no problem. okay whatever rant done im not even that upset im just annoyed as fuck and idgaf if he said we should be here usually#9-4 my ass is leaving at 2:30 today to grocery shop and go the fuck home so i can actually get work done KILLS PEOPLE
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toastsnaffler · 4 months
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love my leather boots sooo much.. polishing them at weekends is my favourite chore by far I always look forward to getting to do it :-)
#just re-lacing them rn so theyre ready for work tomorrow theyre so shinyyy muah#when my next payday comes around im gonna get a second pair so im not putting as much strain on the leather by wearing them everyday#but i think im gonna go for a different colour to my standard black.... ik solovair do similar ones in burgundy or bottle green hmm#well i have a month to think abt it before i decide!#red is my go to accent colour but green would probably fit better with my work wardrobe... and i do wear work clothes 5/7 days a week#anyway.... i need to meditate and then sleep. i usually settle down for bed 9:30 but im a little wired cuz new med change#so ive been putting it off until i feel actually tired so i wont stress abt not being able to fall asleep and then make it worse#i will probably feel pretty tired at work tomorrow but thats okay i dont have anything taxing scheduled#feeling so much better now this weekend is behind me. ik next weekend will likely be difficult again but im more prepared for it#i need to book myself this trip as well before train tix get too expensive so i have smth to look forward to next month....#just debating whether i actually want to invite other ppl or not. itd be rly nice for everyone to come but with recent events i feel-#a little delicate abt social stuff and i dont want to stress myself out and get insecure bc its meant to be a treat for me#like if i invite other ppl itll become their trip and suddenly im in the backseat third wheeling them all#and ill wish i had uninvited myself so they would enjoy it more etc but the POINT is its smth i wanna do!!!! for me!!!#we'll see how this week goes. i dont rly feel ready rn to unmute their server yet tho bc ill just make myself upset abt next weekend#letting sleeping dogs lie for now... ill come back around eventually it always takes some time to recover from mood swings that intense#okay now goodnight! xoxoxoxooxo#.diaries
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voidimp · 11 months
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look at my neopets, boy*
*substitute gender of choice
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the-gayest-sky-kid · 2 years
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i hate that my relationship with my friends will never be the same. i hate that we will never all be on at the same time and making stupid jokes and playing jackbox at 9pm and chatting on discord during online classes. i hate that i will never have that again
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cowboy-robooty · 2 years
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Love your HCs <3!!! And your art!!!!!!!! Le Question: is Romano 99.99999% straight like Veneziano? What's his sexuality journey like? If you don't mind sharing your thoughts. Is it as weird as Veneziano's pre school BF then pussy for a millennium. Thank youu
FIRST) THANK YOUU MANAJW i always feel surprised when i remember it isnt just me and my 3 friends on da world wide web that like my stuff <:') ARIGATO! FROM ME! *points at me* TO YOU! *points at you*
Anyways now SECOND) i think romano knows he likes girls and actually is nice to them and tries to rizz them its just hes cringe fail so i actually think hes a total virgin whos never dated anyone ever bc hes so aids. i think he doesnt really see guys as an option not because of sexuality but more because hes too busy trying to catch a girl he aint even got TIME to think about other fish types we go one type at a time. like when he goes i would never date anyone in the g8 its not because theyre boys its because "theyre stupid and annoying and ugly and should kill themselves and one of them is my fucking brother" romano is a boy kisser its just that never gets addressed because he hates all the men around him too much. i also think he kinda likes the idea of a girl more than actually dating a girl because 1) he doesnt take into account that girls actually can fart (60% why he thinks theyre so angelic and wunderbar) and 2) he desperately wants to be popular asf like italy so hes like ITALY BANGS CHICKS EVERYDAY SO OBVIOUSLY THERES GOTTA BE SOME SECRET SAUCE IN THERE. but i think he never in his life ends up dating a girl because they all reject his ass bc he fumbles so hard and then prussia activates his yandere gene and he gets loyal asf (but still demented and terrible. basically nothing changes other than him no longer hitting on girls) so woooooo I THINK THE LABLE HE USES IS "normal" (he is anything except normal)
*read tags if u wanna see why i changed my mind. actually romano uses da lable
**drumrolllllll**
BISEXUAL! **judge gavel slams down**
SENTENCE: 10 THOUSAND HOT POCKETS!
#me thinks hes too preoccupied scheming and getting restraining orders put against him to really think about a lable#see hetalia characters all have aids like me so i think a handful of them dont really use lables#or if they do then they dont really follow them its more like they use it cuz they need something to say when someone asks them for it#i think theyre smart enough to use lables only as theyre meant to be used. as something that acts as a positive for them#either in makes them feel secure or gives them an answer to tell people when they ask#cuz like for example germany is the Only Boy italy likes and italys like well ill use bisexual cuz why not lol#but i think some other characters could have that same situation and stick with the lable straight#cuz its like saying wether or not you like chips#if you only like one specific flavor and brand and hate everything else then its arguable if you can say you '*like* chips or not#i dont think the way people feel love and attraction is something that can be fit into neat little lables because its always different#so i say lables shouldnt be treated as an end all be all when choosing one. its just whatever you like#after all. having a lable doesnt make you any better or worse than someone with another lable#sorry for the long tangent but yeah thats my explanation for why i dont think romano has a#solid lable#THIS ISNT ME SAYING I THINK PEOPLE SHOULD STAY IN THE CLOSET AND REPRESSED AND SHIT#its me saying that people should just be themselves and sometimes a lable just isnt apart of that and it shouldnt be required#also i take it all back actually romano identifies as bisexual so he can call germany the f slur#ask#SWAG
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opens-up-4-nobody · 2 years
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#fucking. god dammit. i hype myself up like: fuck it i dont want a uk phd#and then i fucking pre interview. which was a full on fucking hour long interview and im reminded how#fucking cool the project is. like hhhhh why cant u b in the us????#they can only pick one candidate. and like oh yea we could send u to the arctic or southern ocean#fuck u thats so cool hhhhhh ugh. im hoping when i visit [redacted] school i fall in love so completely that i can say no#but ugh its so so cool. and i feel like they were impressed with me. like i feel the interview went well#and one guy was like: even if u dont end up here youll have a stellar research career. and im like 😭#like i kno im not a perfect fit for the project but like im. i think my brain is good at some things so i could contribute things#ugh now im all shaky a sweaty. and after i visit the other school i have to immediately let the uk school kno if i wanna comit to them#then i could maybe visit the lab. tho idk when id have the time to fucking fly to the uk#uuuuuugh school bullshit. so stressful. but im glad they think what ive done is cool#like i feel so dumb all the time bc the trauma of being dyslexic in the american public school system that as soon as someone says im smart#or impressive im like 😭😭😭#also they asked how i feel abt writing papers and i was like: convention is bullshit and i dont think thats what the guy was expecting lmao#its true tho. fuck convention. challenge convention. be open to new ideas. otherwise whats the point#sigh. well i felt awful this morning. i mean. its only like 9.30 now but i feel a bit better now#since my last interview was a disaster i feel way better abt my interviewing skills now. which is good bc i have 2 more looming#unrelated
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fireylesbianhell · 1 year
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when people (i am people. it’s me.) imagine Nico having powers over grief i think of Will’s never discussed fatal flaw, and i think that it’s that he can’t let go
i think his flaw is something with grief, and being stuck in the past almost. it’s being stagnant and static and unable to properly have especially negative emotions because he has to be people’s rock. he’s sunshine boy and he’s your doctor. He needs to be reliable, he sees his friends die every day, if he breaks down then nothing is stable anymore, nothing is keeping anything afloat.
but the idea of nico, a son of hades, who’s experienced grief like he has and was unable to move on and unable to do what Will can’t do, helping him come to terms with his loss and to “accept his darkness” like persephone said to him.
A first nudge from nico and some support from Kayla and Austin especially (and maybe Drew, the Stoll’s and Clarisse if you headcannon them as friends) he’s able to to it, he cries over the people he lost and he’s angry and selfish about the fact they’re gone and starts to grieve properly.
He starts to change and starts finding little moments of progress everywhere he looks. even though his demons aren’t little actual creatures following him around unlike his boyfriend, he does start comming to term similarly. He’s begun tearing the walls down and talking and letting himself cry on someone else’s shoulder. he lets go and starts to let himself be not okay.
#tsats spoilers#pjo spoilers#spoilers#the sun and the star spoilers#okay i know it’s not that spoiler-ey but i wanna be careful#also because this is how i interpret the ending for them a lot and i dont want someone who’s not read it to take this and run with it#this is all post book#just idk i feel like Will’s Fatal Flaw is underdiscussed along with many apollo children#but the idea of him specially having trouble moving on and grieving as one#works so well for him and fits his behavior at his worst#fits how he reacts to those bad situations#and from a charater standpoint works well with nicos issue of holding grudges#stagnancy is their issue but they both confront it in bad ways#but in ways the other can help them#Will helps nico calm down and realize it’s not his fault#nico helps will grieve and properly let go#Will’s doctor truama and need to take care of everyone and his not cracking until he’s literally in a river of greif and mistakes#like he never showed his stance to death and how he felt about loosing campers before until literal torture#HES THE FIRST ONE TO SHRUG OFF LETTING AMPHITHEMIS GO AND NOT LIKE. FEELING OVER THAY#another post i saw explained much better than i did the whole “having to save someone worth saving’ doctor mentality if letting people go#and it fits how will was there#anyways i’m just having so many angsty thoughts about him he’s Not Okay#but i like to see TSATS as a book about getting better#that’s the theme i pulled i guess#esp with everything about Nyx#and the coco puffs#nyx can’t move on but bob does. nico does. will does. It’s all about change.#nico di angelo#Will Solace#Solangelo
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arolesbianism · 2 months
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I've been passively watching an isat playthrough while twiddling my thumbs in my current oni save as I wait for my new power systems to be done and hey guys. I think one of these bitches is aromantic. Why did no one tell me one of these bitches is aromantic I would have played the game myself if I knew that
#rat rambles#ok tbf I still theoretically Could but I dont think Id survive playing through the like first 6 hours of the stuff Ive already seen#anyways current review is that it's rly well written so far and I like how well the worldbuilding is implemented naturally in the dialogue#having odile be a presumably anthropologist or smth along those lines does wonders for this ofc but even with that its amazing how#natural the party feels when discussing their different cultures#and ofc I am staring at mirabelle hard. this game is clearly not shying away in the slightest from queer topics so. blinks oh so sweetly#I am sooooo fucking desperate for canonically aro characters who are actually written to be aro if she talks abt it at all I Will cry#honestly real con of this is that its making me conceptualize an eternal gales au which is not what I should be thinking abt this early#also its a problem because Im pretty dead set on the idea that aris would be sif and that means tali is off limits#which is unfortunate because I think itd be funny to make her mirabelle on the sole basis of her maybe being aro#otherwise the assignments are pretty easy even if some of them would be looser fits than others based on my current knowledge#mase would be odile fydd would be bonnie and sier would be iz#for mira Im thinking if I wanted to get funky with it then maybe bloom? it doesnt effect sier too much since I can just make it so his mom#was the one frozen in time or smth#now bloom is rly only in the running because of the leftover human kids shes somehow the best choice despite being 9 years old lol#dodie is off the table since I try to practice restraint when using dodie in aus#and the snake triplets are well. the snake triplets.#they have about a billion things that makes them hard to fit into any au#now I could use a stalien instead but thats a Really hard choice for me to make given the rest of the selected cast#plus none of them actually fit that much better than bloom would tbh?#like to be clear basically the only thing keeping bloom from being an easy pick is that shes 9#like I could just do it anyways but I should probably wait a lil bit to make sure mira doesnt pull out some crazy shit to change my mind#based on what I do know the only one thats rly a bit of a stretch is sier but Im ok with that I can just slap a different character arc in#rly most fucked up thing abt this cast is that aris our sif is second tallest#which feels deeply wrong to me especially once you consider the hat#her siouette is going to be all fucked up and different from sif's shes going to be so big compared to them#shes not even That tall shes like 5'8 thats just tall compared to most of her companions#in canon shes the third tallest of the friend group and second tallest not counting dodie#so its mase then her and in this hypothetical au the rest of the garden gnome squad#sier is 5'1 fydd is 5 flat and bloom is 4'9 if Im remembering correctly
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