#or to use this as their chance to be openly homophobic

[c1trvswurld]

I need everyone whose ever made a j. Diddy joke about jimmy to--in the most rudest, foul, and demeaning way possible- never speak again. I want your mouth sown up and I need you to be silenced Sancho the Fat, King of León style

[cyranonic]

I feel like one of the exchanges in S2 that fucks me up the most is this one between Louis and Madeleine that is so pivotal and yet happens basically in the background. It just says so much about who Louis is at this point in his life and why his relationship with Armand is so essentially tragic for them both.

For Armand, the ship has already sailed on betraying Louis and Claudia. He is seconds away from letting the coven ritually murder them and so NATURALLY that is the moment when Madeleine finally confirms the thing that he could never be certain of, the love that he wanted and yet could not quite trust was real. We see that in his face; the misery of that realization.

For Louis, it just devastates me to think about how much of his life has been about hiding his true self, afraid to reveal his softer feelings. In the first episode of the show, he tells Daniel that before Lestat he had never allowed himself to emotionally connect to another man. A big part of this is probably the homophobia of the time period when he was raised. Lestat seems to recognize this when he turns Louis, offering him the chance to be true to himself.

But even after Lestat, we see that Louis still struggles with this. He can allow himself to feel connected to Claudia because she is his child and then his sister. In his mortal life, Louis took on the role of provider for his family, allowing himself to show affection to his mother and sister through his role as a caretaker. Even with Paul, he is both brother and father, caring for him due to his mental illness. Becoming a vampire separated him from familial love, leading him to beg Lestat to turn Claudia so that he can yet again have that love that he connects to being a caretaker.

With Armand, Louis expresses sexual interest, but never emotional closeness. Their dynamic falls into the pattern of dominant and submissive, but without the openly expressed care and security needed to make that relationship work. Just as with Lestat, Louis has a pattern of withholding affection as a form of self-protection. He doesn't want to be vulnerable. He can laugh and joke about the sexual appeal of his partner, but is immediately uncomfortable when Madeleine brings up his deeper feelings.

I think a part of this is derived not just from Louis' queerness and his response to a homophobic society, but also his blackness. In New Orleans, he is constantly emasculated and infantilized by white men. Being called "boy" or being praised for "doing a good job" is a tactic that white supremacists use to remind Louis that he is vulnerable. And after that, combined with the trauma he experienced during his relationship with Lestat, Louis is sick of being vulnerable. So even when he is falling in love, even when his partner is a POC, Louis can't share those feelings. Louis' final words, "he knows," indicate that his withholding isn't malicious or manipulative. It's a hopeful rather than true statement. Louis wants Armand to know, but he shies away from actually having the conversation.

Anyways it's such a gut-punch moment to me that foreshadows how Louis and Armand's relationship had some potential for genuine love within it, but it was also pretty doomed from the start.

[chairofchaos]

When the Blood Burns

Blood (Part 1)

Burns (Part 2)

Pairing: Azriel x Eris

Summary: Azriel and Eris find themselves drawn together during the first war with Hybern. (Requested here)

Rating: Explicit (see warnings- I mean it. I can give details in DMs if you want specifics before reading)

Word Count: 5.5k

Warnings: violence, homophobia/homophobic violence (if you want details my DMs are open), graphic depictions of wounds and wound care with a very rudimentary understanding of the subject, alcohol use, and much less important than the others but still concerning: unedited.

A/N: Shoutout to @tsunami-of-tears for once again providing me with the perfect divider for this fic. Shoutout to @unanswered-stars forgiving me permission to do whatever I want with this request. And please know I tried to make it short. But now it's almost 10k so this is part 1 of 2. Maybe 3.

Their first meeting was unremarkable. Azriel, blinded with rage over Eris’ rejection of Mor and the ensuing pain it had caused his family, thought nothing of the young lord other than how callous he had been, and avoided him under the orders of his High Lord.

So the first time they had truly met was in a war tent five years and seven months into the war with Hybern. Eris stood with his elder brother behind Beron’s seat at the round table. Rhys and Azriel stood shoulder to shoulder behind Rhys’ father. When the High Lords had dismissed their advisors for a recess in planning, somehow only Eris and Azriel found themselves walking outside. 

They were silent. Azriel scanned the passing troops for any sign of Cassian. It had been three weeks since either he or Rhys had seen him, but there was a chance, stationed here near the western battle grounds, that they would encounter him. Still, even Azriel’s shadows hadn’t been able to locate his brother. 

The shadows' presence was thin. There were only so many he could task, only so many he could control. Only a fraction of his usual cloud of shades stayed with him. Still, they whispered to him. 

“The Autumn lord watches you,” they hissed. They seemed less concerned than intrigued. It wasn’t often people stared directly at him, and yet when Azriel turned his head, the lordling was staring, openly and with no concern.

“Can I help you?”

Eris shrugged evenly. His face was impassive, but he either didn’t know or didn’t care Azriel would notice the shuffle of his feet. “No.”

Azriel raised an eyebrow. “And yet, you have something you want to say.”

Eris’ lips pinched, his eyes darting to the tent entrance. “You have less shadows this time.”

“Yes.”

Eris waited, but Azriel was more patient and well aware that the Lord just wanted him to speak. Finally, Eris sighed. “Are you… well?”

Well? Azriel was… oh. He dared a glare. The lord was nosy. “I’m fine. Why do you ask?”

“You have less shadows. That isn’t a symptom of something being wrong?”

“No. It’s a symptom of being at war.”

“Ah,” the lord breathed. “That’s… good.”

Azriel didn't bother to respond before he turned and walked back into the tent. Such an odd male.

Two months passed before they crossed paths again. Azriel had shadow-walked to take a message from his High Lord to the High Lord of Winter. Rhys had been sent away as well. There was little to lure him back, so he would take advantage of the distance between the two encampments to take a night away. It was already after dark. He could safely return in the morning with no one noticing.

Once he retrieved the paper with the instructions, he walked the encampment shrouded in shadows. Here, Winter and Autumn soldiers did not mingle. In fact, the road Azriel walked through the camp was so stark a dividing line he found himself all alone. Except…

“Oof!”

A figure had darted awkwardly from behind a Winter tent. They were looking over their shoulder, and had plowed straight into Azriel. 

Azriel snarled, wings flaring behind him to keep himself righted as the figure fell at his feet.

“Watch where you’re going,” he growled, stepping back. His hand instinctively rested on Truth Teller’s handle while he glared at the figure. The road was so dark he couldn’t even see the insignia on the soldier’s tunic.

“I- My apologies.” It took Azriel the time it took for the male to scramble to his feet to place the voice.

“Vanserra?”

“Shadowsinger,” was the response. It was curt in a way Eris’ attempts at conversation hadn’t been previously. Yet this time, Azriel’s shadows said nothing.

“You really should watch where you’re going.”

“I know,” Eris snapped.

“Snippy tonight, aren’t we?” He had been moving quickly, and yet was no longer rushing. It was odd enough for Azriel to order shadows to examine him. It was dark, so it was easy for them to go unnoticed. 

“Do I owe you courtesy?” was the bitter response.

“You crashed into me.” His shadows slithered about his ears, talking over one another.

“And I apologized.”

It was then that the shadows’ one-word report made sense. Blood. There was blood gushing from the male’s body. When he paused, Azriel could smell the metallic tang from Eris’ general direction, distinct from the days old blood scent of the camp around them. It was enough to send his shadows into a vague fury, as if they couldn’t decide whether this was something to be concerned about given who the male in question was. 

Eris waited, standing there in complete stillness. 

“You’re injured,” Azriel finally settled on. 

Eris snorted. “And? So is everyone.”

“It isn’t a war wound. This camp has not seen battle in over a week and that wound is fresh.”

“Does it matter?” Eris snapped. “I don’t know why you bother to bring it up at all.”

Azriel took a deep breath. “Because if you’re fighting next to my brother your injury could get him killed. I know you haven’t seen much battle, but from what I’ve heard your father is doing everything he can to keep you on the front lines to get you killed. I’d rather not give him the satisfaction if it means my brother dies.”

Autumn and Night court soldiers had been fighting alongside each other frequently. With Winter replacing Night Court forces in this camp, chances were dwindling, but it wasn’t a risk Azriel was willing to take.

Eris tried a new tactic: complete silence. Still, Azriel saw his silhouette cross his arms defensively. It was a bad move. His hands were pinned where they were, and he was already off balance. Azriel took the opportunity to reach a hand out and shove the male’s shoulder with a moderate amount of force.

Eris’ sharp intake of breath gave Azriel more pause than he expected. “I’ll tend your wound,” Azriel said gruffly. “I refuse to let you get killed over some stupid fight with a soldier from another court.”

Still, Eris didn’t move. 

“You can walk, can’t you? You were doing fine when you ran into me.”

“I’m fine,” Eris bit out. “Leave.”

Azriel snorted. Now he definitely wouldn’t leave the male alone. “No. You’re in more danger like that than you know.”

“And what would you know of it?” Eris all but hissed at him, arms uncrossing to clench against his sides. “You don’t scare me.”

“I should,” Azriel snapped back. “I should terrify you. I could have killed you about thirty different ways in the course of this conversation.”

“You’re not touching my– wound.” Eris’ voice broke. 

“You aren’t tending it yourself.”

“I’ll go to a healer.”

“No,” Azriel shook his head. “You won’t. Because if your father finds out he’ll use it to his advantage. Why does he hate you so much?”

“I can handle it myself,” Eris’ voice was losing all conviction and confidence. 

“No.”

“Leave.”

“I trust you know somewhere safe enough. I’ll get the supplies and meet you there. A shadow will tell me where you end up, or I can winnow us there.”

That seemed to give Eris pause. “I thought shadowsingers did something called shadow-walking.”

Azriel balked. It was rare anyone bothered to know the difference, let alone remark on it. He nodded, then remembered the male likely couldn’t see him. He cleared his throat before saying, “Yes.”

“Can we shadow-walk?” Now, the lord just sounded tired.

“Yes. Where are we going?”

“North of camp, there’s a glade.”

“It’s safe?”

“Yes.” Eris reached his right hand out.

Azriel gripped the male’s wrist roughly with his own right hand, binding their hands together with shadows who seemed all too eager. “Don’t let go,” he warned. 

“I won’t.”

A blink and a breath of complete darkness followed before they arrived in the clearing, which Azriel’s shadows had found quickly. A small fire was reduced near to ashes in the center of the glade, but it was more light than the road had held. Eris moved to drop Azriel’s hand, but the shadowsinger shook his head, motioning for the lord to stay silent and wait.

The shadows not binding them together scattered, darting around the trees at the outskirts and winding back to Azriel once they had cleared the area and confirmed its safety. “Safe. Safe. Safe,” was their chorus, one after the other. 

When Azriel was satisfied, he sent a third of them for supplies, tasking another third to unroll the lord’s bedroll, which they had found tucked in an oak, next to the fire. Dropping Eris’ hand, he crossed to a small pile of wood at the edge of the glade and collected half of it to bank the fire. Eris stayed where he was, watching silently. 

“Come sit,” Azriel ordered, pointing to the bedroll as he squatted to blow at the cinders and coals and encourage what little flame was left to grow, to light the new wood and give them more light and heat. Eris made no move to help him, so Azriel didn’t bother to ask. 

With the increasing light, Azriel could see the dark gleaming of what had to be blood down Eris’ thigh as he walked. There was a lot. The side of his leg was saturated to the top of his boot, while the wound seemed to originate near his hip bone. It had to be nasty for Eris to be bleeding that much. That explained why he hadn’t offered to help with the fire, or, better yet, to feed the fire himself with his power. Yet, he walked. 

That took strength. Azriel almost found it in himself to be impressed as the male lowered himself gracefully to the ground. 

His shadows had begun piling bandages and other important things by Azriel’s side. He sent one of them off in pursuit of a new pair of pants for the lord, who wouldn’t be wearing this pair again without an excellent laundress, and those who could keep secrets were in short supply in a war camp when information was money.

“Take your pants off,” Azriel commanded. Eris winced.

“I’m not sure I can.”

“I'll have to cut them off.”

Eris hesitated, his eyes darting to Truth Teller. “Be careful.”

How badly hurt was he, that he would allow Azriel to have a knife that close to his skin, to vital blood supply? 

As the light increased, so did Azriel’s concern that the male’s condition may not be as stable as he originally thought. His skin seemed to pale more and more with every flare of the fire. Sweat dripped from his brow, despite the chilly night around them. And he was obedient. Vanserras, in Azriel's admittedly limited experience, were never obedient. Certainly not to orders given from a Night Court grunt.

As if they sensed his growing concern, shadows dispatched to scan the male again. They returned with whispers of blood and wounds– multiple. Azriel nearly sighed. This was perhaps a bigger job than he anticipated. He sent shadows now to retrieve his own bedroll and bag. He’d be damned if the last thing anyone saw before the autumn lord died was the two of them together, and there was no real way to guarantee he hadn’t been seen with Eris on that road. Damn it all.

“How many wounds are there?” he asked, unsheathing Truth-Teller and setting the supplies beside Eris.

“Just the one.”

“Don’t lie to me. If you die, it’s my wings they’ll come after.”

Eris glanced over Azriel’s shoulder at the reddish membranes which were his constant companion, his pride and joy.

“Three.”

“Only three?”

“Only three,” Eris confirmed.

“Where?”

Eris gestured at his right shoulder, waved a hand over his injured leg, and then looked away.

“That’s two,” Azriel commented. “You’re going to need to take that tunic off, too, but let’s start with your leg.”

Eris laid back. Azriel reached into his boot to retrieve a flask and offer it up. “Whiskey. It’ll take the sting off.”

Eris grimaced, but took the flask anyways, draining what was left of the alcohol from it before handing it back. 

Azriel knelt at his side, the fire on Eris’ other side giving him light to work. Truth Teller made quick work of a cut through Eris’ pants from ankle to waist, and Azriel sheathed the blade quickly. When he removed the fabric a barrier which had begun to form to protect the wound would be removed, and he needed to know everything he could before that happened.

“What blade was used?”

Eris blinked at him slowly. He was fading, fast. “A dagger.”

“Was it poisoned?”

“No,” Eris shook his head with conviction.

“Was there anything special about the blade?”

“Standard Winter court issue,” he said. 

Azriel nodded. “Alright. This is going to hurt.”

Eris paused, looking at Azriel, then turning his head to the fire. Azriel barely heard the quiet “I know” which followed.

Azriel pulled the fabric of the male’s pants away from him and grimaced. Eris didn't even flinch. The cut went across the male’s hipbone nearly twelve inches to the outside of his upper thigh, getting deeper as if Eris had rolled into the knife to protect his midline.

“Tell me what happened,” Azriel ordered as his hands began to move. Damn it all, they were cold. And tired. He was so tired. But he couldn’t let Eris die. For some reason, he needed the male to live.

“No.” Eris countered with a fire he hadn’t shown all evening. It was the first anger Azriel had heard from the male, and it awoke something in him. He dumped three antiseptic potions across the wound. Eris barely moved, blinking up at the stars.

“You could die,” Azriel snarled, pressing bandages against the seeping wound. “Why? You are the son of a high lord. If it was a standard issue Winter court blade it likely wasn't anybody of your status. Why protect them?”

Eris bit his lower lip. Azriel pulled Truth Teller out to cut through what was left of the male’s pants and underwear and remove them. A long strip of fabric wound around the male’s waist, then around his upper thigh, to secure the padding of bandages against the long wound. When Azriel was certain the bands wouldn’t move, he tied them off in a quick knot and looked up at the lord’s face. 

His eyes were closed, his face turned slightly toward the fire. He looked slightly flushed, and yet entirely too pale. His breathing was shallow. He needed water. Food, too. He didn’t seem to be interested in answering any more questions. Maybe those things would loosen his lips.

First, the other wounds. The removal of all his clothing revealed a gash along his shoulder, about four inches long. It wasn’t deep, but it was angled, and the skin could be folded back away from the wound. Azriel stitched that one with quick stitches. He would have stitched the large one, but without any indication that it wouldn’t get infected, he was unsure about closing it with the sutures which would solidify by the time the horizon had light on it. An infection growing beneath the skin was much worse than a scar from skin knitting itself back together.

The last wound didn’t immediately present itself, so Azriel had nudged Eris until he grudgingly rolled onto his side.

His bare back was a maze of scars. Azriel was struck immediately by how well his hands blended with the mottled skin of Eris’ back, burns seemingly crisscrossed by the stripes of what had to have been made by a very long, thick whip. It turned his stomach to see just how broken the male’s back was. They weren’t that different in age, and Azriel had his fair share of scars. But this was a level of brutality Azriel hadn’t expected to find carved into the male’s skin. It was no doubt he hadn’t flinched at the stitches, or even the bandaging. He had to be intimately familiar with both.

One wound on his back, a long stripe across his shoulder blade, was red and struggling to close. Azriel stitched that closed, too, before throwing the bandages he had used to wipe the male’s blood away into the fire. Seeming to know it was over, Eris rolled back onto his back. He didn’t open his eyes, but his breathing seemed slightly steadier.

Azriel grabbed his bag from where the shadows had dumped it unceremoniously behind him and retrieved a tin of dried meat and crackers.

“Eat,” he ordered, setting the tin on Vanserra's stomach. “I’m getting us water.”

Eris cracked an eye open to stare at him. “Fine.”

Azriel ordered some shadows to scout ahead for water, and some to watch over the lordling, as he unrolled his own bedroll next to Eris. Better to have the fire lord between him and the fire, he told himself.

His shadows returned with a satisfactory report, so he went when he was certain Eris would eat more than a bite or two.

On his return, the container sat on his bedroll, half the food gone.

“You should eat more,” Azriel said, nudging it towards him. 

Eris shook his head. “I’m fine.”

“Drink, then,” he tried. Eris nodded, reaching a reluctant hand to grip the offered bottle.

He propped himself up on an elbow to drink, and swallowed until he finished the whole bottle with a gasp. “Thank you.”

Azriel nodded. He felt as though he hovered over the lord, but he found himself unsettled. “I’ll take the watch.”

Eris didn’t argue or say they didn’t need one. It would have been a lie neither of them would have accepted. He just nodded, dropping his head back and closing his eyes again.

Azriel didn’t bother to wake him through the rest of the night. When light began to peek over the horizon, Eris stirred on his own, sitting up with a groan and a stretch. 

“Thank you,” he said again. 

Azriel nodded. “I need to check your–”

“No,” Eris said abruptly, sitting. “Enough. I will go back to camp, and so should you.”

Azriel shook his head. “You can’t fight like this.”

Eris smirked up at him. “I’ve done it before.”

“You’re going to get yourself killed,” Azriel narrowed his eyes.

Eris shrugged, shuffling awkwardly until he was on his feet, even though he panted. “That’s fine.”

“I just spent last night putting you back together. If I hear you undo that work, I’ll kill you,” Azriel protested. Eris seemed to soften at that. “I think you should go.”

Azriel bristled even as his shadows obeyed his silent order to retrieve all his things. “Fine.”

“I’ll burn away any trace of you being here,” Eris assured him, waving a hand at his bedroll. It disappeared.

Azriel nodded. “Check those wounds this morning.”

Eris nodded. “I will.”

When Azriel had his bag and bedroll in hand, he shadow-walked away, Eris not sparing him more than a moment’s glance as he disappeared from view.

Their third meeting was much like the first. Outside a war tent, the Autumn court delegation lingered in hushed circles. Their forces had been hit hard in the last of Hybern’s offensives. No doubt they were reconsidering their participation in the ongoing war, if only to save the rest of their soldiers. Still, from the thick of the fray strode Eris Vanserra, his gait no less even than it had been the first times Azriel had seen him.

Azriel couldn’t help but watch him as he stood outside the tent. They had tightened the circle allowed in. The recent losses had been too stark to eliminate the possibility that someone on the council or one of their advisors was selling information or even was an agent of Hybern. It was no doubt that fact which kept the sons close, and everyone else at a very great distance. Still, Azriel could watch from here. Could keep an eye out for either of his brothers. 

Shadows told him nothing of them. Their names were not on the rolls. But here was Eris. Alive, breathing. He would have known if Eris had died. And Eris had not.

“Shadowsinger,” a curt acknowledgement. Azriel nodded firmly in return. No words could explain his relief, even to himself. Eris rolled his shoulders, his embroidered coat restricting his motions. Instead of walking past Azriel, the lord stopped at his side.

“Thank you,” Eris murmured. If Azriel hadn’t been attuned to the male's presence, he wouldn’t have heard it at all. It was dangerous to speak this openly. Eris had to know that. Surely, a High Lord’s son would know that speaking to the spymaster of another court was dangerous. Surely.

Azriel turned to walk away. He would not risk it, but Eris still tried. “Azriel.”

He spun to face Eris, schooling his face into an angry mask. “What?”

Eris’ eyes flashed with an answering anger, then cooled. “I saw your brother. The soldier.”

This was unexpected. Azriel’s eyes narrowed. How would Eris know he searched for his brothers?

As if anticipating the question, Eris stepped closer. “Your shadows, the ones who stayed, told me. I asked them how I could… repay you. They told me. He’s in the next camp over. Injured, but not badly. Ask for Madja.”

Shadows zipped away from Azriel faster than he could respond. He had left some of them with Eris that morning to ensure the male checked and cleaned his wounds.

Now, Eris watched them go, nodding once, then walking on past Azriel. Eris knew what it meant to see those shadows go out. It was all he had needed to see. 

Azriel may not be able to get away on his own, but he could send those shadows. They would find Cassian, who would recognize them and maybe even be able to get away for a day. 

More pressing was that the shadows had spoken to Eris. Had deemed him worthy of information about Azriel. That happened so rarely. Only when Azriel was truly in need of something, or on the rarest of occasions, when he was in true danger, would his shadows bother to try to communicate with anyone. Never before had they shared with someone as nonsensical as Eris Vanserra. He would ask them later why. He hoped they would tell him.

Someone was calling his name. It was the middle of the night, and his shadows were rousing him from sleep with a frantic energy. Months had passed since he had seen Cassian, or Rhys. He had only just gotten back from a scouting mission in Hybern that evening. The war still raged, still slowly marching them all toward death. 

But someone was calling his name. “Hurry,” his shadows urged him. “Fight.” 

The second prompt was enough to speed him. He rarely slept without weapons at hand, and he grabbed two Illyrian blades and strapped them to his back with the speed of a soldier who had been at war for over six years. 

Finally ready, he ordered his shadows to take him where they willed. Emerging from their total darkness into the moonless night with Truth Teller clenched in his hand, he found himself at the edge of that familiar glade. 

This time, it was anything but peaceful. Eris fought against three warriors dressed in dark clothes, their faces concealed by darkness. Azriel recognized the fighting style more than the clothing, and it was for good reason Eris didn’t bother to use his powers. 

In a split second, Azriel shadow-walked to be behind the Autumn court soldiers, disarming one with ease while Eris held his own against the second. Azriel’s blade slid into the side of the throat and was pulled through the front, removing the attacker’s ability to scream as his life faded to a bloody end. 

The third spun from Eris to Azriel. He opened his mouth, but behind him, Eris flicked a dagger from his waist, the blade glinting before Azriel saw the male’s head jerk forward. When he fell, the handle of the blade stuck at a perfect right angle from the base of the male’s skull.

As Azriel had drawn Eris’ attention, his moment’s glance to throw the blade had left his left side unguarded. The remaining autumn warrior took advantage of the opening, and launched himself at the lord. His hand closed around the lord’s throat, and Eris was knocked toward Azriel, but Azriel was faster than the other warrior had perhaps anticipated.

In the span of moments, Azriel had removed the male’s hand from Eris’ throat, disarmed him, and bound him hand and feet with a cord he kept coiled in his boot for moments like this. His shadows had been dispatched to guard the borders of the glade.

Eris rubbed his neck as he offered a wad of cloth to Azriel, who crouched beside the bound warrior. Azriel took the fabric and shoved it into his mouth until he was satisfied the male wouldn’t be able to remove it.

“You need to kill him,” Eris said quietly. 

“I know,” Azriel said. The male’s eyes settled on Azriel as if he had only just now recognized the winged warrior. He began to scream through the fabric. Azriel’s remaining shadows spun around the warrior, examining him.

“Why do you scream?” Eris asked, crouching beside Azriel. “You chose to attack me. Your death was predetermined.”

The male’s eyes flicked to Azriel, then back to Eris, then back to Azriel again as his screaming increased in volume.

Eris snorted. “You truly think the death he will give you is worse than the death I could?”

Azriel couldn’t help but watch the Lord of Autumn as Eris stood. 

“A word, Azriel.” Eris looked down his nose at the screaming soldier. Azriel stood. They walked some distance away before Eris paused and looked over his shoulder at their prisoner.

“We have to kill him,” Eris said. “He recognized you.”

“That’s not surprising,” Azriel said. “Why did they come after you in the first place?”

Eris sighed. “I did something I shouldn’t have, and got caught doing it. Whether my father sent them or they took it upon themselves, I don’t know.”

Azriel paused. “What, exactly, were you doing?” If Eris was spying for Hybern, if he had used Azriel somehow…

Eris sighed. “I slept with one of their brothers.”

Oh. Oh. Prythian was generally safe for males like Eris. And Azriel. But some families held old ways of thinking that would incense hatred beyond caring that Eris was the son of a High Lord. It was that which kept Azriel hiding. He lacked the protection offered to Eris. Currently, he lacked even the protection of his brothers. 

So Azriel just nodded. When Azriel didn’t say anything, Eris sighed.

“How did you come here?”

“My shadows sent me. They were concerned.”

“Have they been watching me?”

“I don’t know,” Azriel admitted. “Sometimes they follow their own whims.”

Eris nodded. “I can handle him.”

“Do you want to?” What was one more body on Azriel’s tally? He’d killed nearly thirty yesterday, getting away from the Hybern guard who had started asking too many of the right questions. What was one more, in the face of the river of blood which had flowed from his hands?

“Not really,” Eris sighed. 

“You sound weary,” Azriel dared. After six years he was more than used to the ebb and flow of fights and battles, yet his heart still pounded in his chest.

“I am.”

“I’ll do it. Stay here.”

Eris said nothing in return but bowed his head.

Azriel crossed back to the bound warrior, who had started trying to roll and scramble away from them with whatever faculty he retained. Azriel placed a booted heel against the man’s collarbone, his toes grounded to the earth as he stood above the male.

“I’m going to take out the gag. Then you’re going to tell me who sent you, and what they wanted. If you don’t, I’ll torture you. This is your one chance. Do you understand?”

The male nodded, eyes glinting with starlight and terror. Azriel bent to remove the gag, whispering, “Scream, and I’ll gag you with something much more unpleasant than this fabric.”

He ripped it from the male’s mouth, and to his credit, the male said nothing.

“Who sent you?”

“No one. We came with him,” the male tipped his head at one of the bodies. “His brother died, and when they found his body on the battlefield, that bastard’s scent was all over him.”

“Eris’?” Azriel questioned. 

The male nodded. “They were… intimate.” He said it with a snarl, as though Azriel would not know and was being deceived. 

“You wanted to kill him.”

“Yes. For that, yes. It’s not–”

“Enough,” Eris’ voice sounded behind Azriel.

Azriel glared at him. “If it’s enough, kill him yourself.”

Eris shrugged. “Fine.”

The male opened his mouth to start screaming again, but Eris flicked his slender fingers. Azriel stepped back quickly as a reddish glow started emanating from the male’s throat and smoke began to billow from his mouth. 

Eris was burning him. Burning him from the inside out. The light of life in the male’s eyes was steadily replaced by the glow of that slow burning fire until the male was nothing more than ash in the wind.

Eris turned to Azriel. “Thank you for coming.”

Azriel nodded. Why was he so hesitant to leave? The second the male was dead, he should have walked away. Dawn was nearing again. He would need to be back before the High Lord woke in case he had further questions after last night’s debrief. Six years and ten months of this. Azriel wasn’t sure how much more of it he could take.

“Thank you for finding Cassian for me.” 

Eris smiled at that, not even looking as he lit the other two bodies on fire. “You saved my life.”

“You gave me the chance to see him. It had been a long time. It means more than I think you realize.”

Eris shook his head. “I imagine if I had a brother I trusted I would do just about anything in my power to see him.”

Azriel chuckled at that. “No friends among family?”

Eris sighed ruefully. “I’m afraid not.”

“Me neither. Except–”

They finished the sentence together, “my mother.”

“If you didn’t send for me,” Azriel crossed his arms, “Why did you trust I wasn’t there with them?”

Eris tipped his head back to stare at the sky. “My father has railed against your… proclivities in sexual partners. How he knew, I have no idea. I’ve never even heard whispers of you from anywhere else. I knew, if my father was somehow right, your presence was either on orders or to help me. I was willing to bet you wouldn’t kill me for something we share.”

“Beron knows about me?”

“Somehow. I think he had someone tailing you for a time, after Mor.”

Azriel bristled. He had been careful at 19, but apparently not careful enough. It was likely the best explanation. “You have no idea? Truly?”

Eris shrugs. “I was young when he brought it up. The timing seems right. I never put much thought into it.”

“So you assumed I was safe because of that.”

“No,” Eris laughed, quietly, but unmistakably amused. “No, I mostly assumed you were safe because the last time you saved my life you told me not to undo all of your hard work.”

“What happened then?” Azriel was demanding. He felt as though he was truly seeing the Autumn Lord, seeing him open and unguarded for the first time. Maybe now he could get answers.

Eris seemed to be willing to indulge him. “A winter court soldier didn’t realize who I was until I was on my way out of his tent. He tried to kill me.”

“It seems to me like you’re sleeping with the wrong people,” Azriel commented. Eris finally turned to face him, levelling him with a molten stare Azriel found himself drawn into. “And who are the right people?”

“People who have as much to lose as you do.”

“Like you?” Eris challenged. 

Azriel shrugged. “Are you offering?”

Eris smirked, turning to face Azriel. Dawn was growing, and the red light of morning lighting the leaves around him gave him the appearance of a body of molten fire. “If you ever wish to take me to bed, Shadowsinger, show up. I have spells on the glade. It will let me know you’re here.”

Azriel laughed. “Chances are slim, Vanserra.”

“But not zero.” Eris raised an eyebrow, crossing his arms in a slightly mocking reflection of Azriel’s own stance. 

“No.” Azriel admitted. “Not zero.”

[burstinn]

Hello 👋, could I request some cod characters (perhaps Ghost, Price or Krüeger) defending a male military reader from a bunch of guys that are being homophobic to him?

Homophobes die

Warnings and Notes:

All relationships here is platonic or could potentially be seen as romantic

Krueger is somehow in the 141, just pretend he is.. Yknow.. Just pretend..

You get beaten the fuck up, your face is literally fucked up

Blatant homophobia

The only people shown is Ghost, Price, and Krueger

Being openly gay in the military is hard.

Not everyone has the same belief, but by God do they need to atleast be a little respectful.

Well, aside from some "out there" remarks about you or some men coming up to you just to ask to help them yknow take some stress off. They're not gay they swear they just needed to take it off without just jerking themselves off.

All that fun shebang, but then there's the 3rd. The people who go out of their way to just fuck with you.

They are literally the mix of the 1st and 2nd group. But make it 100 times worse, but they're favorite thing to do is more physical things.

Beating the shit out of you the chance they get. You're almost used to it now. Can't even snitch about it, they'll catch you before you do. Hell, they'll manage to spin some bullshit to make it your fault.

Which brings you toooo.. Today! The peak of Pride Month! Which you were reminded of by your good pals!

Being dragged off to a corner and beating the fucking shit out of you while congratulating you about pride month.

"It's gay month, hope your f---got ass is happy about that. This is your prize for it!"

"Maybe you were hoping to suck some dick today? No?"

Such great words really wow.

You couldn't really answer much.. Blood dripping out of your nose and pooling down to your mouth, pretty sure you lost some teeth.

Not like you can see either, brutal punches hit really hard. A black eye, a few broken bones.. Maybe your rib.

A few good kicks to the stomach. On your cock as well.

GHOST

- he heard it.

- He was looking for you and 'your pals' since you and them missed training and punishment is needed for that.

- Then he heard it

- stopping in his tracks and peering off in the corner seeing you getting beaten bloodied, black and blue.

- He needed to intervene shit look at you.

- He stepped out of the corner, grabbing the shoulder of one of the guys that was about to connect his hand to your face

- Anger courses through the guy who was about to punch turning around to see who dares grab him. Before his confidence falters seeing.. Lieutenant Ghost towering over them a fixed angered glare on them.

- "Prices office Now"

- There was no argument.. They immediately scurry off. Leaving you slumped over. Bloody, swollen.

- He turned his attention to you, carrying you in his arms.. Cradling you.

- "fuck, are you alright?" " hey! Stay awake soldier!"

- He pulls you close, running off with you in his arms. Demanding a medic.Immediately

- He leaves you to be patched up by the medics. Anger written in his face as he makes his way to Prices office.

- Price waiting on Ghost to explain what happened

- He looked like he wanted to kill them, he could've but he might get kicked out of military or arrested idk

PRICE

- He got a heads up a few minutes ago from Ghost that he was looking for you and these guy that were now in front of him.

- He did remember Ghost stalking off somewhere to find you and the dudes that were right in front of him

- He decides to not ask them and wait for Ghost instead.

- Once Ghost arrived, hearing the explanation made him seethe with frustration and disgust.. He knew you were gay but he didn't think people his soldiers no less would treat you like that

- He doesn't need to hear any more

- He discharged them immediately. Walking off with Simon to see you in medbay

- He had to make sure all his soldiers are safe

KRÜEGER

- He was walking by Price's office, He's heard a figh broke out and the person who was beat up was in the medics

- He might as well see who it was

- Just as he was about to fully pass by Price's office. He heard something..

- He stops in his tracks, leaning now against the door to listen.. And he heard everything

- His expression slowly growing darker and darker as he continues listening

- He's heard just about enough, He decides to skip seeing you.. He could comfort you later..

- I mean, You both were close but not that close. But still it's not like he can't not care about you.

- He has planned.. Something else for those men

- They went M. I. A after that, No one bothers to look. It's not the militarys problem any more..

°°°

| A Week Later|

"Hey.. Guten Tag, hey! Wake up"

.. Krueger.. He's waking you up

Furrowing your brow in annoyance before you force yourself to open your eyes..

You sit up tilting your head to look at Krüeger.

"Wie geht's?"

"OK, Mir ghet es Gut.. Danke, Krueger"

He nods, looking at your bandaged face.

"You should let 'im rest Krueger"

A deeper, more British voice comes from behind Krueger

"I'm just checking up on him"

Ghost is here too.. How nice, they took their time to see you

"Botha' you, Get back to work. Leave him alone"

And.. Price

" It's fine cap, I'm good"

"You sure? You still look messed up Don't worry we took care of them bastards, we discharged them"

Silence from Krueger.. Looking at the ground for a moment

"Ja... Yeah mmhm"

Weird.. But it's nice that these people care for you.

[justinspoliticalcorner]

Walter Einenkel at Daily Kos:

While Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump is posting bizarre videos wishing for a return to the violent masculinity that brought us the Vietnam War, the Biden-Harris administration has scored another big win for LGBTQ+ justice. Defense Secretary Lloyd Austin announced on Tuesday that more than 800 former service members discharged under the homophobic “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy have had their status upgraded to “honorable discharge” after a yearlong review. “Don't Ask, Don't Tell” affected more than 13,000 military members during the 17 years it was in effect and barred openly gay people from serving. According to Christa A. Specht, a legal policy director at the Pentagon, while most of those members were given honorable discharges, “nearly 2,000 were separated with less than fully honorable characterizations.” 

While many of those affected by the policy appealed for an upgrade after the policy was reversed in 2011, others likely didn’t know that was an option and did not apply. Austin announced in September 2023 that the Pentagon would be reviewing the remaining cases in order to “do right by our outstanding service members, military families, and civilian employees.” According to Austin, 96.8% of the cases reviewed received an upgrade to their status. "We're encouraging anyone who still believes that there is something in their military record that is an error or an injustice—in particular, service members who might have been impacted by records that predate Don't Ask, Don't Tell who were separated for their sexual orientation—to come forward and request relief through the boards," Specht said. "They have a high chance of success."   Meanwhile, the Trump administration’s most notable achievement when it comes to the LGBTQ+ community was banning transgender service members from the military. That bigoted ban was lifted by Joe Biden in 2020, just days after he was sworn in as president.

[...] “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” was signed into law by President Bill Clinton in 1994 as a compromise with hard-liners who wanted all LGBTQ+ people banned from military service. Advocates continued to fight against the policy for years before it was repealed during President Barack Obama’s administration in 2011.

Honorable discharges will be given to those wrongly booted from the US Military by the now-repealed homophobic Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell policy.

See Also:

The Advocate: Pentagon upgrades discharges for more than 800 kicked out under 'don't ask, don't tell'

LGBTQ Nation: 800 service members kicked out under DADT just got discharges upgraded to honorable

[literatemisfit]

Some things to remember on the DT media storm:

I admit I'm not happy he used the phrase "didn't exist" but here's the thing. He was making an acceptance speech, off the cuff. He wasn't making a public statement that had been rehearsed, he's human and sure, it can be argued that he misspoke.

The issue is that the right jumped on the chance to slam a trans supporter because they hate trans people and given the chance to (try to) silence one of their supporters, they'll do anything, twist any words, amending the part where he said he did not wish her ill. The woman herself is a complete monster and she should absolutely not exist (in her current state) in 2024, just like how we say racists, homophobes, transphobes etc. should no longer exist nowadays. It's a turn of phrase.

She should shut up. Had he not been filmed, it would have been fine. But since people started posting the video (especially on twitter 🙄 why the fuck would you do that) the right found it and weaponized it.

The nuance of the thing is: he's an angry dad who's fed up that his kids (and all trans/nb kids) are not being respected or cared for by the literal government. He's angry, he's frustrated, he was speaking to a room of like-minded, angry, frustrated individuals. He's human and he spoke as he did, but the internet and especially the right are not good at nuance. Actually, they openly reject it.

If the right can dish it out (to the point of openly endangering the safety of and mocking the deaths of trans people) they better be ready to take it.

Shutting up does not endanger this woman. He openly said he did not wish her ill, but they'll ignore that part because this is giving them the illusion of righteousness and control. Maybe I'm wrong, but I think that 9 days before the election they're panicking, they've lost their platform, and they're going to hold onto what an actor said at an LGBT award ceremony because it seems it's the only thing they have left and that's pathetic.

He used "didn't exist" most likely without the knowledge of what the internet would do with something like that. He's not versed in social media. He probably didn't speak to a PR team before his speech and it's his humanness, his unfamiliarity with internet discourse and trigger-happy accusations that they're using against him because it's all they have left.

The beauty of it is, as long as it stays online, he doesn't hear any of it.

[stevesnightmares]

I see a lot of people take the "it's easier to be straight" comment and use it to claim that Kevin is homohobic and it really rubs me the wrong way because, while his tone and phrasing might've been off, I don't personally think his comment was homophobic nor was it wrong. They are aiming to be star athletes, both nationally but also inter ationally (ie: olympic games) and being openly gay really might ruin their chances.

The way exy is described in the books, it looks like it's similar to how american football is viewed in the US, how football is viewed in Europe or hockey in Canada and it's a very well known fact that coming out as gay while being an athlete at that level can be considered career suicide. Exy is a coed sport, so I don't really know who would follow exy and what type of people those fans would be, but Kevin is very knowledgeable of everything that has to do with exy, if he says that being openly gay would have a huge impact on an athlete's career, I'm prone to believe him.

He himself doesn't say that being gay is bad or disgusting or wrong, all that he says is that there are many prejudiced people out there and that being openly gay would have a huge impact on his career. Kevin doesn't care if someone is gay or not, he cares about what being gay means in relation to being a professional exy player.

[krakapi]

I'm probably not the first person to say this, but I really don't understand all the hate Genmui receives. It isn't illegal, they aren't related, nor are they toxic.

The two main reasons I hear every fucking time as to why people dislike this ship are that :

A. They're too young

B. They only ever interacted once

Addressing the first part, that being that they aren't of age to be dating. That's false. Most teenagers begin relationships (although not long lasting) as, well, teens. Additionally, Genya (16) and Muichiro (14) share the same 2 year age gap as Zenezu (Zenitsu x Nezuko), an extremely popular, canon and hetero ship in the franchise.

Zenitsu (16) and Nezuko (14), do end up together after Muzan's defeat, and have kids, who then have kids, etc. However, before marriage, Zenitsu was absolutely in love with a then demon Nezuko. That's cute and all, if we just ignore the fact that Nezuko herself was turned into a demon at 12. Demon's don't age. Meaning, even if she was physically able to age herself, mentally, she is a young girl. Which, in itself, is kinda icky if you ask me.

As for the second claim, that being that they rarely had any interactions. Although in the manga it is indeed true that we don't see them talking together often, it's important to realize that Demon Slayer was a very rushed, short series. Therefore, it was very direct, and focused mostly on the plot. Aside from that, it is known that Muichiro and Genya are good friends with Tanjiro and company. It's displayed in this cute lil' manga panel :

(Zenitsu keep your hands away oh my god...)

They probably are relatively close, so it's safe to say that "behind the scenes", they hangout. Also, and not to bring up another canon HETERO ship, but Inoaoi (Inosuke x Aoi) literally have the same amount, if not less exchanges than Genmui. Heck, most people agree that them being a couple is random, no matter the adorableness. Listen, I don't want to pull the homophobia "card", but with the past two comparisons I've used, and the fact that Genmui is a gay pairing, it's difficult to say otherwise.

With that being said, I've also seen alot of people claiming that because Demon Slayer takes place during Taisho era Japan, these characters would be 100% straight, or even... homophobic. First of all, L opinion. Just because the society of that time was more openly against queer people, does not mean that they didn't exist. Many people of the lgbtq+ community back then did not ever get the chance to come out of the closet.

Second of all, the Demon Slayer Corps is known to be accepting of all people. You can't expect to maintain a secret military-like organization if you're too picky on who's joining. The most prominent and talked about example is Mitsuri Kanroji, who was praised by Kagaya for her incredible strength, which was deemed weird by society for a woman. As a Demon Slayer, you're basically reduced to a human sacrifice, ready to give up your life on a whim. Who the fuck really cares about what gender you wanna make out with?

Anyways, to conclude, Genmui is an overhated ship <3 If you really dislike it that much, you can sit in the corner and be miserable.

[akookminsupporter]

Male friendships in South Korea are different than in other places. I think that's why people often mistake jikooks friendship with romance. Both Jungkook and Jimin have never spoken about being part of the LGBT community and have always talked about girls.. so why do many people believe they are gay and a couple? If anything, maybe they got together once but that was it.. there are a lot of Korean artists nowadays that support the community and are open about being part of it. If jikook were part of it, they would have said it by now...

I was about to go to bed, but then your ASK came in, and I felt like replying. It’s funny how so many jikookphobics decide when to use the "Korean culture" argument to prove or show that Jikook isn’t or can’t be real, but they get upset when others use that same argument to point out that, because of the cultural aspects of their country, the chances of it being real are actually high. I’ll try to articulate my opinion on your ASK in the best way possible and to do that, I’ll go through it in parts.

“Male friendships in South Korea are different than in other places.”

Men are men, whether in Korea or Timbuktu. And friendships between men even more so, so I’m not exactly sure what you mean by that. One of the reasons why K-ARMY goes wild over the dynamic between Jimin and Jungkook is because it’s not that common in Korea, especially when there’s an age difference between them. Now, this is something extremely subjective—it depends on the people and how close they are. BTS is a good example of that. While all seven of them are quite touchy-feely, it’s obvious that some members have their limits compared to others. Like I said, it’s subjective, so this argument is pretty weak in my opinion, anon.

“Both Jungkook and Jimin have never spoken about being part of the LGBT community and have always talked about girls..”

It’s frustrating how people like you use the "Korean culture" argument when it suits you but forget that because of that same Korean culture, if Jimin and Jungkook were a couple or LGBT, they wouldn’t be able to say it openly. Is your head so thick and your brain so fresh that you don’t get that Korea is still a very homophobic country, and if they were to reveal something like that, they’d become outcasts? Especially given their status right now.

They’ve always talked about girls… Okay, sure.

“so why do many people believe they are gay and a couple? If anything, maybe they got together once but that was it..”

People believe they’re LGBT and a couple because their dynamic points to it. Maybe people are wrong, but you honestly can’t tell me that almost kissing, giving one a hickey, or licking each other's ears are things friends or family do. It’s funny to see how you contradict yourself. Are Jikook LGBT or not? Or do you think they’re not gay but pansexual? Or maybe they experimented at some point together and realised they didn’t like it, so they went looking for female partners? Wow, anon, you sure know a lot. Tell me, were you their bed or something? Is that why you know so much?

“there are a lot of Korean artists nowadays that support the community and are open about being part of it.”

And here’s where I confirm I’m wasting my time, but well, I’ve got to switch my brain off now and then. Although I have to say, anon, if you’re like this all the time, damn, I’m really sorry for you. I’d love to see a list of artists who’ve openly said they’re LGBT and are still part of the mainstream industry—and no, Holland doesn’t count.

“If jikook were part of it, they would have said it by now…”

The ignorance, disrespect, and lies in this whole ASK are truly something (derogatory). I know you’re a troll, but my God, don’t you all feel ashamed of saying this sort of thing? Why do you do it? What do you get out of it? Trying to look more foolish? Because I refuse to believe that you lot feel good spouting this many stupidities all at once. I just can’t believe there are people so empty, bitter, and downright miserable in the world that they resort to this to feel anything.

[bluecatwriter]

So I watched a tv movie called Bram Stoker's Van Helsing (2021) that's only about the London Lucy segment of the story and… you know how no one (despite Van Helsing's fear) is seething with jealousy over Lucy? well, it's a love triangle now because they wanted to make it more interesting. Arthur and Jack keep headbutting for dominance and Arthur is so jealous that he's the one who throws the garlic away at night, for Jack to not be the one who becomes the hero in Lucy's eyes.

Putting this on the pile of Dracula stuff that includes Arthur, but completely changes him to "fix how boring he is"... (see also Anno Dracula (allies with Dracula, becomes a serial murderer all because the Newman loathed Arthur in the book), The Athena Club series (allies with a demon to become a fascist ruler), Dracula 2006 (huge rich jerk, invites Dracula to fix his syphilis), Dracula 2020 (loves to publicly humiliate Jack, horrible person)

Every day I learn about a new adaptation in which my boy is massacred... :'( Bless you for watching so I don't have to.

Turning the Suitor Squad into a love triangle (square?) is just lazy writing, period. Ohhh, multiple guys are interested in one girl and they're jealous and fight over her?? HOW ORIGINAL. *eye roll* It's such a cliché that there is NO excuse for using it, and triply so when the source material doesn't have it in the first place! Arthur throwing the garlic away because of some male ego thing makes me want to smash a chair through my dining room window.

It's honestly discouraging how little imagination adapters seem to have. All right, adapter guy, so you think Arthur Holmwood is boring... it's not a completely unreasonable statement. But look— look at the actual source material and see what's buried there! Just off the top of my head...

-Being someone who cries so openly and on so many different people is a huge character trait. Show how he's defying Victorian masculine norms by freely expressing emotion (or how he's conforming to the stereotype of Sighing Lover) and do something with that.

-What kind of person travels literally all the way around the world, having tons of wild and wacky adventures, and yet never tells any stories about it? What is his motivation for not trying to impress his girlfriend with tales of running from wolves or crashing a ship in Polynesia? What does this say about the way he experiences life?

-The story is ripe with little hints about how incredibly close he is to both Quincey and Jack. If adapters weren't so homophobic, they could explore all sorts of possibilities there.

-He likes dogs! That's a whole character trait!

-All right, adapter doesn't want to engage with any of that and is set on making him evil? Okay, then, make him evil in a way that fits the source material. Once again, making him jealous of other men or a philandering spoiled lordling are super-cliché. How about thinking about what could make him actually go off the rails? Is he haunted by how obedient he was in killing Lucy, even when he didn't know exactly what was going on? Does he carry a grudge against Van Helsing for making him into a killer? Do we take the text at face value that when he set his mind to it, he was ruthlessly effective in ending Lucy's undead life— does he get addicted to that feeling, does he get righteously caught up in vampire hunting (or just murder) because he can't bear the thought that he could've been wrong?

People making adaptations don't have to follow canon, of course, but it seems reasonable for the decisions to be rooted in canon, for readers/viewers to be able to draw a line from point A to point B. At the very least, there's no excuse to fall back on tiresome tropes.

Thanks for giving me the chance to rant about this. :D

[lemon16]

Something that I'm pretty happy about is how todays teens and kids are just used to queer people. (im 13 btw)

Like, girls openly have girlfriends and boys openly have boyfriends. People come out as genderqueer all the time. If you ask someone their pronouns, chances are they will be chill about it.

There are still homophobic kids, but most of the time they dont harass people.

[mostlycorrectdipandpip]

Let's talk about dnptwt

Ok, I created this little shit-posting blog to connect with other phannies and get back into this comfy little fandom. Along with this, I started connecting with dnptwt on my main account. I don't like getting involved in drama, especially when it revolves around blatant racisim, homophobia, transphobia, genocide sympathizers, etc, but I feel like it needs to be said here. I am only going to speak on this once, but if you have questions on my experience or just want to call me out, feel free to message or anonymously inbox me, that is your right as I am posting this openly and publicly.

Dnptwt is NOT a safe place. I genuinely believe that the internet is not a safe place. I wish that it was because access to the internet has become so common and widespread. People can connect on so many levels and share their experiences, but EVERYONE can do it. Republican, democrat, gay, straight, conversative, liberal. EVERYONE. But, over the last few months, dnptwt has become so negative and toxic. Every day someone is being called out for their behavior and, many times, the calling out is warranted. They have said or done something that they need to be called out on. It's the aftermath and the snowballing afterwards that has gotten out of hand.

I am a very positive person. I believe that everyone, at anytime in their lives, can learn and grow and change. We are constantly learning new things and having new experiences. When people say something hateful or negative or they participate in something bad or that you don't agree with, you have every right to call them out on it. Point out the hateful and negative behavior, but just because someone does or says something doesn't mean that they are irredeemable. Spitting hateful rhetoric and being hateful towards people is the exact kind of thing that we want to stop and correct. So when you call someone out for something, call them out and see if they take the initiative to learn or change before you start an unyielding bullying campaign against them. You can choose how you react to that person, if you believe them, and if you want to continue to interact with them. That is your right as a social media user. But to start a campaign where you tell everyone that someone is disgusting and irredeemable before giving them a chance to reflect, relearn, and respond is absolutely crazy.

At the end of the day, what I am trying to say is that in order for people to grow, they need to learn. In order for someone to genuinely apologize, they need to learn what they have done wrong and find it in themselves to change, but this isn't something that someone can do overnight. And it isn't something someone can do while they are being attacked from all sides. Sometimes all it takes is for someone to say how they feel and why it makes them feel that way for someone to realize that they have made a mistake.

I'll call myself out for y'all to get what I mean. I grew up in a very conservative household. I grew up in a household that sprayed hateful rhetoric and had terribly homophobic and racist beliefs. It wasn't until someone in middle school called me out for it. It wasn't nice or sugar coated, just a direct interaction. I dealt with some fallout for sure, but over the rest of that year, I took the opportunity to learn and change how I acted, how I talked, and how I spoke to my classmates and I was able to repair alot of burned bridges and become a more well rounded person.

I fear everyday that the hate I used to spread and the negativity I once had will come back to bite me. I would have to answer for those actions, and I would, and I would have to prove to people that I have changed (and I have). But with the kind of environment that dnptwt has become, I would be shunned, shamed, categorized and irredeemable, and tossed to the side without being able to reflect, relearn, and respond.

This environment is unacceptable. And it is something that I will no longer be taking part in. Give people the space to be wrong, to fail, and to make right.

Just getting this out has helped me feel a little bit better, am I am sure that this will end up on dnptwt and I'll get doused in their hate and vitriol, but to stand silent and watch more and more people who just need some time to get educated and learn would have made me feel so bad. I'm taking some time to reflect on my own actions and time spent on twitter, learn about ways that I can better use my time and energy, and will respond again if I feel it necessary, but I think I've said my piece.

[blackgirlsuperherorants]

Light spoilers for Deadpool & Wolverine below:

Here's the thing. Deadpool was really queer in this movie, in my opinion. Like, queer enough that it just felt like his regular, real personality, to me, rather than shoved in for laughs. But it does still play it for laughs, sometimes, and that does feel... like, you know, it's a shame. Because Marvel has a real chance, here, to just have an LGBTQ+ lead character and just let that be, but it feels like they're a little scared to actually lean in. I don't even get the impression that it's Ryan. I think Ryan would let Deadpool be fully queer, if either studio would have let him.

I think because I fall under the bi/pan umbrella and the way Deadpool is about his sexual orientation is kinda how I am, too (except I don't, like, openly hit on everything with legs because it can border on harassment), I didn't immediately clock how some in the community are finding this movie to be homophobic/biphobic. But I get it. A lot of the gay stuff is played for laughs and sometimes seems to be about the gay panic he's causing in the other men.

But also... in my opinion, Wade feels earnest in his flirtation. Like, when he thinks the TVA guys are strippers and talks about kissing them, and says "I'm not a natural bottom"... like, how is that just quipping? I think he's talking about his actual sex life, and is being for real. Like, he wants to have sex with them... he's not used to bottoming.

I think some stuff is a little disappointing. Like, the joke about being molested as a child by the scout master. I don't like jokes about rape/molestation, and I don't like the implications that his pansexuality is because he is an unhealed sexual assault survivor. There's a dangerous narrative that queer people are predators, right now, and that we want to "turn kids gay/trans", and stuff like that feeds into that narrative.

But also, people are angry that Wade is in love with Vanessa and only flirts with guys. But... he's pansexual. Not gay. And he's been in a relationship with Vanessa the whole time, until this movie. Bi and pan people can be in hetero-presenting relationships and still be actually bi/pan. Finding Wolverine attractive doesn't mean his feelings for Vanessa just disappear.

I'd also say that Wade literally reads a lot more queer in this movie. Like, even the way he talks and moves and stuff. There's nothing about him that reads "hetero guy who flirts with men because it's funny". He's so queer. His friend group is so queer. Like, he is a queer man, to me. And, for what it's worth, he makes stupid quips about everything in his life, everything around him, everything he loves, everything he hates... why would that be the case, but he not make any stupid queer quips? Who under the bi/pan umbrella doesn't? (I'm not speaking for all of us, sorry. Sorry, guys! If you feel differently, you're also correct and valid. This is just one queer girl's opinion.)

Anyway, I felt like he was the queerest in this movie out of the 3. I just hope that if/ when he appears again, Marvel allows him to actually do something queer on camera. A kiss or something.

[ygsunflower]

I need someone to write a fic where Captain Marvel took the Avengers to meet Maria and Monica at their Louisiana home. Maybe it’ll happen in a similar scenario as how Hawkeye in the Avengers movie brought the team to his home after a tough loss. I don’t care if it’s coherent to the MCU timeline or any of that… Just imagine how proud and cocky Carol Danvers would be if she ever gets the chance to show off her wife and daughter to her co-workers. Last time around, they were still closeted because of “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” and the general homophobic culture. So the idea that now she can talk about Maria and Monica as her wife and daughter openly was all so thrilling to her.

Monica would not be so impressed with the Avengers unlike they’d expected from a little girl. But let’s be real, the girl grew up around Maria, Carol, Fury, and Talos etc. (Let’s pretend Carol didn’t go all deadbeat after Captain Marvel 1 and was around with the Rambeaus.) It’s hard to look up to anyone else with them as your day to day role models. She’s also used to seeing literal aliens so nothing’s gonna faze that girl. Upon meeting the avengers, Maria would finally put faces to the names Fury and Carol often mentions. And she’d get a bit embarrassed by Carol’s cocky behaviors in the beginning but then thought it was cute and heartwarming that Carol who didn’t grow up in a loving family wanted to bring her sad coworkers to her own family because she cared enough about them to want them to suffer less and her private home with the Rambeaus was the only safe place in her mind where that could happen.

I also just need someone to know that Carol has/had a loving family so they understand that there’s also a personal stake to why she looked pissed/devastated and determined to kill Thanos in Endgame. 🥲

[coldinpants]

So... What about Leonard Snart, who openly cares about his Rogues? He doesn't care about most people on this planet, but his little partners in crime deserve love and respect!

Imagine Leonard arranging a funeral for Mark's brother because Mardon didn't get a chance to say goodbye to him properly.

Leonard listens to a drunken Hartley crying loudly over his homophobic parents, and the next day the Rogues abruptly change their plans and rob the Rathaway mansion.

Leonard helps Shawna get out of her toxic relationship with her boyfriend by using examples from his past.

Leonard, who takes Mick to the psychiatrist and makes sure he takes his pills correctly and on time.

Leonard paints Lisa's toenails and listens intently as she complains about her problems and supports her emotionally by calling all the antagonists of her stories assholes.

And the Rogues appreciate and deeply respect their leader in return.

[apomaro-mellow]

Part 4

"Is the living room the best place for this?", Robin asked. "In the middle of the day?"

"We've got a team handling the angry mob. And another team taking care of the monsters coming out of the town gate", Dustin said.

"And you're sure Vecna and the Mind Flayer can't see anything you see?", Will asked, his eyes hard.

Kas met his gaze, wishing their first meeting was under better circumstances. "I'm sure. I am connected to him. But he doesn't control me."

He was holding tight to Steve's hand. If there was one person that could pull his strings...

"Hey", Steve squeezed his hand. "Focus. I know what that look means. We're going to start soon."

Kas let out a breath. "Okay, I'm new to the whole, supergirl thing. Explain to me how this is gonna work again?"

"I'm going to go into your mind", El began. "But I can't go in directly. Because you won't let me." She had already tried and Kas had lashed out, putting a barrier between her and his deeper thoughts.

"So she's gonna go in through me instead", Dustin beamed.

"Still not sure how I feel about Henderson being in my head", Kas said.

But they had already decided that as much as he liked Steve, it couldn't be him. Not when he was still split on how he felt and acted. There was a chance he'd welcome Steve with open arms. It was just as likely that he'd shield him out.

"I'll be here the whole time", Steve said.

"Alright. Let's do this."

Kas laid his body along the couch, his head in Steve's lap. Steve played with his hair and it didn't take long for him to fall asleep. He didn't remember if that was part of the plan, but it happened. Kas was in the black void of the shared mind space. Eddie was there too, chewing on the nail of his thumb.

"What if this goes wrong? We don't know what's gonna happen when they kill Vecna."

"We told Steve not to worry. We have to believe that too. We've gotta believe that everything's gonna be okay."

"But what if it's not?"

"But what if it is? What if we could have everything we want?"

"Whoa, this is trippy", came Dustin's voice. And suddenly he was next to them.

"You got in!" Both consciousness' shouted and hugged Dustin while jumping, which brought a big smile to his face.

"Okay, I've got several questions. First of all, which is which?"

"The one with the sharp teeth is Kas, dude."

"Coooool." Dustin was still looking back and forth between them. "So like, why is there two of you? Did Vecna do that?"

"He did", Eddie said. "Said he was making me better. Removing my inhibitions."

"So you uninhibited is just you being super into Steve? Cause that's the only thing that's changed since you got back."

"He's right", Kas said with a grin.

"Yeah, well", Eddie stuck his hands into his back pockets. "Turns out that was a big part of myself that I was holding back."

"Why? Because he's a guy? Or because it's Steve?"

Eddie looked to Kas, waiting for him to answer for the both of them. But Kas was silent.

"He asked you, not me."

"Oh, so we're the same person when it suits you but when it comes to the hard questions-"

"Eddie, we don't care if you're gay. Or if it's Steve. You know that, right?", Dustin said.

"You don't know that", Eddie said with a shake of his head. "You can't speak for everyone."

Dustin threw his hands up. "Then think about how everyone's been treating you two. Yeah, maybe me, and Lucas, and Mike were too focused on other things to see it, but El and Will knew. I bet Nancy and Robin knew too."

Eddie was trying to hide behind his hair while Kas was openly smirking. Robin definitely knew. She'd walked in on them one too many times.

"Could it really be this easy?", Eddie asked to the open air.

Dustin started counting off his fingers. "I mean, there's still the angry mob that wants to kill you, homophobes outside your group of friends, plus Steve is probably a high maintenance boyfriend-"

"I can provide any services he needs", Kas licked his lips.

"And you're gonna need to put a lid on that kinda talk. At least a loose one. Else you're gonna make us all gag on your PDA."

"No promises", Eddie and Kas said at the same time.

In the distance they heard screaming and something like the sound of paper ripping apart. Kas winced. He could tell what was happening.

"Vecna is dead."

Eddie's eyes were wide. "Oh shit."

"Eddie, you're gonna be fine, right? When we wake up, you're still gonna be there, right?", Dustin asked, grabbing his arms suddenly.

Eddie looked down into his eyes. For the first time in a while, he wanted to believe. He had to believe that everything was going to be okay. He was coming back, he'd get to have Steve, they'd figure out the mob of townsfolk. Hell, he might even get his GED.

"Dustin, I'll see you at home", he said.

When his eyes opened, it was to the sound of Steve's battle cry as he sliced the head off a demogorgan. Eddie shot up and took out the one that was coming at him from behind, digging his teeth in and ripping it apart.

Steve turned and wrapping his arms around him, mindful of the machete but not of the blood covering them both. When he pulled back, Steve looked into his eyes.

"Are you all the way there?"

"Indeed I am", he said. Kas was no longer a physical presence in his mind. If Steve wanted all of him, then that was what he would give. He wrapped his arms around Steve and leaned in, only to be stopped by Steve putting two fingers to his lips.

"I love you Eds, but I'm not kissing you with monster blood in your mouth."

"A compromise then." Eddie kissed his fingertips, then his knuckles, then the back of his hand. Steve's hand also had drops of blood on them but he found he didn't really care. He was halfway up Steve's arm when Will cleared his throat.

"Yeah, we're still here", he reminded them.

"And if we're done, we can get to the others. This isn't over yet", Dustin said before grabbing his walkie and relaying the current status to whoever was listening.

El walked up to them, smiling. "Congratulations."

Steve looked only slightly embarrassed and Eddie took that as a win. Because whatever happened next, they could handle it together. Eddie was all in.

END

A/N: Thanks yall for readin! And feel free to send me prompts for steddie im insatiable right now

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