#or to be better at being the other side of anders

[ghost-bard]

im like varric in a lot of ways, mainly that I too have an odd fascination with sebastian vael but instead of being a little freak that insults him every five minutes bc why would varric ever admit to potentially being infatuated with him, im very open about wanting to fuck him. i could make him worse, but he'd be better for it.

[dragonageconfessions]

CONFESSION:

The one thing I appreciate about Anders in 2 is the point of contrast he shows with Wynne. Like the first game establishes that demons possessing people is bad and they become monsters. But oh wait, the nice old lady is possessed, and she’s fine, maybe even better! Cool this issue is more complex than we were initially led to believe!

Then along comes Anders, all merged up with a spirit, and this time it’s even a spirit we know and not just a vague entity. Except this time it’s not okay. This time the supernatural entity living inside our companion doesn’t take a back seat and come out when requested if you do a side quest, he comes out when he wants to and sometimes he’s forcibly taking control and killing people he’s theoretically trying to help for *checks notes* being scared of him. They’re in a toxic spiral where both of them reinforce each others anger, creating a feedback loop of righteous indignation and a need to act, damn the consequences. After the first game tells us hey maybe being possessed isn’t so bad, 2 does the opposite and says yup it can be bad even if you did it with essentially pure intentions, doubling down on how complex and issue it can be.

[felassan]

post from Dragon Age: Dreadwolf developer Luke B. (Game Systems Director for Dragon Age) on the unofficial BioWare forum, discussing the reasons why in Dragon Age: Inquisition there was no healing mechanic and instead the barrier system was introduced in the gameplay:

"I can't speak to any other games directly but I can give a bit of historic context for DAI. The game was initially a more dungeon/linear delving - see how far you can get - experience and there was no barrier of any kind. As a side note: healing has always been a hot topic in design because as soon as you include it there are many other conceits you now need take into consideration for the gameplay - one of which I will call 'the Anders problem'. Anyway, as DAI got the date moved and shifted more into the pseudo-openworld the concept of attrition (see how far you can get before having to return to camp) became less relevant and we needed to help the Players have more moment-to-moment agency around their survival. Unfortunately for various reasons (one of which is the sad reality of designing a game with a shifting timeline) the healing couldn't be re-added so we ended up with more of a mitigation strategy in the barrier system. It went through a lot of iterations but eventually landed on what it shipped with which I would call... acceptable (but just barely). Now, I will concede that a part of the reason it didn't return after that shift was an aversion to holy trinity gameplay specifically for MP but it wasn't the core reason. As a side story, trying to balance the game (as that was my job on DAI - and yes, it could be much better haha) we had to all but force Players to take barrier. It is intentionally the first skill in the first tree for the Mage and all the autolevel (I also handled that) is designed to get it right away. Feel free to ask other DAI questions, I'm happy to answer about things I was directly involved in 😁. Anything DA:D related you'll have to wait for at least a few months after launch to grill me...though I'm hoping they let me stream at launch as an official thing 🤞." [source]

a user asked about what the hardest class to balance in DA:I was:

"I feel like anyone who was around for the post-launch content will already know the answer to this as it was the bane of my existence when I got put exclusively on MP after launch but the Knight-Enchanter barrier absorbing was a pain. Stuff like that is very challenging to feel good without being broken as they are relative to damage so scaling is fairly open-ended. Too little and the casual players won't get use out of it, too much and the character builders will be wildly OP. We actually had a 'no nerfing' guideline for the SP side so it was a hard battle to fix that silly thing 🙃." [source]

[explodingchantry]

I have a video essay planned for my opinions on the confused (not confusing, but confused) politics of dragon age and it will be like 7 hours long with only 3 views but it will be the best essay I'll ever write. As part of it I want to include sth interesting I've realized in my da2 replay: that of the different ways the qunari conflict and the mage conflict are written.

See, both conflicts are meant to be nuanced but actually have a pretty clear answer based on our own real life liberal ideals. For the qunari conflict, the ideal is "don't be fucking racist": characters who are openly bigoted against the qunari such as sister petrice are ridiculed by the narrative, which is obvious in the framing of all quests in which she takes part and in the dialogue and within the game itself; the enemies you fight which aid her are called "fanatics" and "mob" within the game. It is nuanced in that the qunari aren't exactly... Friendly, and they have a history of colonialism of their own, but the narrative is actually still pretty black and white. They remained peaceful for 4 years in spite of numerous provocation, until their literal most important cultural and religious artifact was refused to them which led them to violence to retrieve it. It's nuanced because it isn't "the qunari are fully innocent" but also isn't "the qunaris are cunts and the racism was warranted". The qunaris are people with flaws that deserve criticism outside of the fact that they're qunaris. The narrative is very clear that those who hate qunaris on principle are bigoted idiots.

For mages, and furthermore anders, suddenly the narrative is more muddled. You could argue it's because the situation is more complex, and in some ways you'd be right. But I was shocked upon my replay of how often anders' sanity is put in question. How even a hawke who ROMANCED HIM will call him deeply troubled to defend him, or downright call him crazy... Once again whilst defending him. The latter is admittedly partly due to purple hawke options sometimes just being.... Downright disrespectful and mean, but it remains striking. Even more so when you note how often anders' rejection of templars and the chantry are rejected by other characters, including mages themselves, whilst fenris' vitriolic hatred of ALL MAGES REGARDLESS OF BACKGROUND is only challenged by anders - who, again, gets his sanity questioned several times throughout the game, minimizing the perceived value of his opinions - and potentially hawke, sometimes, in a few dialogue options.

And don't even get me started on the whole blood magic portrayal lol.

You could attempt to say that, well, while the writers wanted the qunari conflict to have a clear answer, they didn't want it to be the case for mages. But.... Did they really? At the end of the game Orsino's stupid blood magic blob monster transformation is very obviously framed as tragic, meanwhile again Meredith's sanity is shown to have been compromised the whole time which puts every one of her previous actions into question. I'm pretty confident in my opinion that the writers likely meant the message to be "the mage/templar conflict in general isn't black and white but in this instance siding with Meredith is obviously wrong" (as a note: it is far more black and white than the narrative pretends it is and mages should be free, obviously.) this is backed up by the fact that, you know, SHE WAS THE FINAL BOSS AND WAS CORRUPTED BY RED LYRIUM.

There's a better, deeper discussion to be had regarding dissecting those two narrative threads and observing how the writers' bias affect both, I think. Because as soon as you try to say the writers write certain characters OOC or show negative bias towards a certain group, like mages, people will try to spin it as it being because the writers want to present a nuanced issue. The thing is that, yes, they are trying to do that - but they are doing it in an imbalanced, biased, and sometimes downright mean spirited way. Because I haven't even touched on how everyone refers to anders, even when they refer to him positively. There's always a but. Even deeply sympathetic characters disapprove of his activism. That sways the balance the writers apparently attempted to have. It sways it pretty fucking badly.

[greenaswildfire]

How being "Team Dorne" has shaped my opinions on hotd (and later my convictions as Team Green)

Alright, first of all, I'd like to state that Dorne is one of my favorite regions in ASOIAF. Book Dorne I mean, mostly because of fan theories because if we rely only on Martin we will never see what Dorne is planning.

Being Team Dorne also means I'm not fond of dragons and Targaryens/valyrians in general, so why all of a sudden I was convinced by the Greens, who also have dragons/Targaryens?

Well, here are the reasons based mainly on hotd and book spoilers/theories I've read:

3-They're losing dogs: everybody knows at this point that the Greens will always be sabotaged by writers, even in their already few victories. I guess that when one is ff writer or reader, one sees right through other people's creative choices and detects reasons/impacts/intentions more easily. That's what I feel with hotd, after years writing as a hobby such "automatic analysis" it's habit atp, I feel Team Green as the cornered rats of a japanese old saying: the cornered rat will bite the cat. The more they're sabotaged by the writers, the more I'll like them. Dorne also has always been seen as weak, a dying land taken by rhoynar immigrants, but yeah, they were the only ones to repel Targaryens and their dragons. They were also seen as losing dogs when actually they're incredibly badass.

2-Dorne is a much, much, and I say, MUCH better version of the Dance of the dragons, without dragons! How is that possible?!

-Arianne Martell is ASOIAF's version of Rhaenyra, but ofc, a way better version of her. She's cunning, resourceful, her "my father doesn't love meeeeeh, my birthright is threateneeeed" convictions are hard to change, she wants to prove herself, she has quite a lot of connections, she resorts to seduction and manipulation if needed to convice people to join her crazy plans, but at the same time, she worries about them if things go wrong, which means she's aware of her actions/choices and how it impacts others, and when Doran finally tells her the truth, she stops acting like a spoiled brat and finally starts acting like what one expects of an heir. She's flawed, she's human, she wanted her father's approval like Aegon wanted his parents affection.

-Arys Oakheart was Myrcella's kingsguard and Arianne didn't hesitate to use him and bring him to her side (or try to), it reminds me of Cole and how he was also used and later discarded by hotd!Rhaenyra. Arianne at least had a masterplan in mind and it took half a year, Rhaenyra just wanted someone to play and forced herself on Cole. In the end, both knights spend their remaining days trying to make up for the vows that women lead them break: Arys protects the real Myrcella who is missing now, and Cole fiercely keeps fighting for his found family in the Dance. It is said that both die deaths without honor, but what do we mean with "without honor"? Imo, from the moment you have a clear purpose in mind, a reason to fight, a reason to die for, it is not an honorless death/fight anymore. If "death with honor" to you means only "death by dragonfire" than yeah, their deaths were bland and honorless. But both knew what they were getting into, and accepted death anyway for the sake of their causes/reasons.

-Oberyn is quite a comparison to Daemon: there's a moment when Oberyn beds the paramour of an Yronwood guy. And to make things worse, he kills the man in a duel "by accident" :D Oberyn ends up exiled in the free cities and when he returns, it's to avenge Elia and her children. Uncles, always chaotic uncles, and iirc Arianne also found uncle Oberyn attractive :D

-Quentyn is a parallel for Aegon: as result of Oberyn's deeds, House Martell was kindly forced to send Quentyn to be fostered by the Yronwoods (You have to send your elder son to be fostered by an andal house. which happens to be the biggest rival of your house.. maan, huge seed for dance here). In other words he's a hostage, but Quentyn even considers Anders Yronwoods like a father, he's grown there after all. Like Aegon, he doesn't want to be the Prince of Dorne like Arianne thinks he wants. He wants a lot of things, but to rule is not one of these things. And when he's sent to find Daenerys, she isn't in Meereen anymore, but just like Aegon who wanted to prove himself, he tries to tame a dragon so he wouldn't return empty-handed. It is said that Quentyn didn't survive, but if we consider how Aegon II was hard to kill, certainly Quentyn is also alive. Burnt, but alive. I don't remember which dragon he tried to tame before, but it would be nice if he came back with Viserion, his cream colors and clingy behavior would be a nice parallel to Sunfyre and Aegon.

-Other interesting aspect is how Arianne claims that Anders Yronwood is Criston Cole reborn and he'll help Quentyn usurp her birthright just because. But guess what, the name of one of her chapters is essentially the same as Criston's (Queenmaker/Kingmaker), and she is the one who tries to crown Myrcella. We know almost nothing about Anders, so it's hard to judge his character based solelly on Arianne's or 'Quentyn's opinion. Regardless, it shows how Arianne is aware of History, and how she thinks things happen again and again.

-It's also interesting to compare Daemon-Viserys, and Oberyn-Doran. Daemon and Oberyn are both seen as the dangerous elements of the House, while Viserys and Doran the weaklings. Doran, however, is waaay smarter and resourceful than Viserys, Viserys was too dumb for his own good, he didn't know how to play the game. Doran does know, and that's why he's also dangerous: if you're strong, feign weakness. Sometimes I even think that Doran rhymes more with Otto because of that.

-Arianne's trip to honor the marriage pact and meet fAegon rhymes a bit with Rhaenyra's travel to find a husband. In hotd Rhaenyra ignores all the suitors and gets stuck with Laenor. I imagine the same will happen with Arianne and after getting all the infos she needs from fAegon and the golden company, she turns fAegon down.

And most importantly:

1-Feminine empowerment...: do we have feminine empowerment outside Dorne? We do, all female characters play the game of thrones the best they can. But in terms of western concept of empowerment and freedom, Dorne is considered one of the main elements of femininere presentation in ASOIAF. It's also no secret that Targaryens/Valyrians have g3nocid3d rhoynars and their customs in the past. Watching how Rhaenyra struggles for the implementation of the rhoynar custom of primogeniture that her ancestors had helped destroy for centuries in Essos screams "Karma" and I love it. You're the good deeds and the bad deeds of your ancestors, you can't choose. You'll inherit their rights, but also their duties and misdeeds.

These parallels have contributed a lot to the way I consume hotd, because really, I can't, it's hard to take hotd!Rhaenyra's attempts of feminine empowerment seriously no matter how much Condal and Hess force me to believe that Rhaenyra is a compeling character with a total valid reason that justifies her santity and her "call to adventure" as valyrian savior of Westeros.

And it's a shame, because I see how much effort is put on this show.. not much in terms of writing ofc, but as for the rest? Nothing less than stelar.

Anyway, as usual, Team Green is doing great with the few glories they are allowed to have and I'm sure the actors will keep doing a great job. Condal, Hess, directors: let the actors work, they can capture nuances that could save the writing just like our brilliant Diana Riggs (RIP) had done with Lady Olenna in GOT's last seasons. Just saying.

[justcallmecappy]

The Andersmance as a narrative of hope

One thing I've noticed while in the Dragon Age fandom is the prevalent interpretation of the Anders romance as a tragedy, or a romance that's inherently tragic. Anders acts behind Hawke's back, destroys the Kirkwall Chantry no matter what choices the player makes, the player sees this as a huge betrayal, and — despite having romanced Anders, and/or being mage-sympathetic — they decide to execute or banish Anders as punishment for his 'crime'. Tears are shed; it's all dramatic and tragic and angsty.

While I sometimes appreciate tragedies, I would like to posit a different perspective: The romance with Anders is a story of hope; a story of standing up to insurmountable odds and overcoming them. The romance with Anders can be approached as one with a happier ending, where Hawke and Anders are the heroes.

Before I elaborate, a disclaimer: These are my own opinions. I understand some players prefer the Andersmance as a tragic romance, and to each player their own. I am not here to dictate the choices you should make in-game or how you approach your playthroughs, merely to present a different perspective to one I've seen very often.

Also, this post is critical of the rivalmance with Anders — more on that later.

The Andersmance as a narrative of hope relies on two perspectives:

Firstly, the Chantry is an authoritarian institution who are the antagonistic force that the heroes need to oppose and take down. There is plenty of meta that explores and supports this.

Secondly, Anders is a heroic character:

He is a healer who set up a clinic providing free healthcare for the marginalized and downtrodden people of Kirkwall who otherwise have gone overlooked by their own Chantry.

He let a Spirit of Justice into his body, simply to help Justice continue to exist in the physical world when he would have otherwise disappeared into the Fade.

He regularly risks his safety and security by helping mages escape abuse in the Gallows and have a chance at freedom via the Mage Underground.

These are all acts of someone who is kind and compassionate, and, yes, heroic.

He is not a villain who needs to be stopped. He is the hero of the story who needs help and support as he challenges systematic oppression. He's Katniss Everdeen standing up to the Capitol; he's Luke Skywalker opposing the Galactic Empire.

Hawke is that supportive pillar, that safe harbor, that source of unconditional love for Anders in his times of struggle. "The one bright light in Kirkwall" who stands by Anders' side as they face insurmountable odds together.

In World States where Leliana becomes Divine Victoria, this means Hawke and Anders' struggles were not in vain. Through their actions, they sparked a series of events that culminated in the abolition of the Circles.

Anders' prophetic speech about how, "Ten years, a hundred years from now, someone like me will love someone like you, and there will be no Templars to tear them apart" carries so much more weight, because loving Hawke gave him hope for a better future that Anders actually gets to witness in his lifetime.

Do you know how powerful such a love story is?

Their love literally changed the world for the better.

They loved each other, that love gave them courage, and now future generations of mages are free to find a love as strong and precious as the one Hawke and Anders share.

Of course, the condition of this is that Hawke loves and supports Anders wholeheartedly, meaning that this obviously takes the Friendship route for the romance. The rivalmance where Hawke downplays Anders' struggles, breaks Anders' spirit, undermines Anders' confidence, and tries to convince Anders that his cause is needless has no part in this narrative of hope; in fact, I would go so far to say that Hawke is the villain in that version of the story.

Personally, stories of hope have always strongly resonated with me. I gravitate towards stories where our protagonists are presented with challenging obstacles (whether they be internal, external, or both), and things may seem bleak at first, but they bravely carry on, and by the end of the story the characters have made themselves better people, and/or made the world a better place.

Anders and Hawke had many chances to turn away and ignore the plight of mages and just get their own happy ending, but they didn't — they carried on, because they were the heroes, and they knew all mages deserved to be free as they were.

[armory-rasa]

Project time: gambeson!

Been a while since I've liveblogged a new project, so I figured I'd take you with me on a voyage of discovery as I attempt to make a gambeson, aka arming jacket (among many other names), the quilted coat that goes underneath maille or plate armor to provide padding for comfort and protection. At its simplest, this:

I've always liked the look (when they're fitted better), but never had a use for one until the other day when I finally decided to bite the bullet and start doing SCA combat, as the local guys have been trying to get me to do for literally years. First fighter practice is next weekend, let's see what I can get done before then.

(Lolol, make no mistake though, I am not as good at sewing as I am at leather, because I only ever do it under duress. It's entirely possible that what I produce today by winging it will be underwhelming and/or unusable.)

So I looked at a BUNCH of pictures online to see all the various design choices available, and decided that I wanted:

Stylishly long, hitting right below the knee

Stylishly angled, with the hem coming to points rather than being cut square across

Detachable sleeves -- one, because sleeves are hard to make fit nicely, and two, because I'm undecided whether I want wide half-length sleeves (like the picture above) or fitted full-length sleeves. If they're detachable, I can have both.

Lacing on the sides -- because that's an easier way to get the fitted look than, y'know, actually tailoring it to fit. Also means it'll still fit even if I lose or gain inches.

Hat tip to this instructable for alerting me to the existence of pre-quilted fabric at Joanns, and also for doing it with two layers of that fabric, which was reassuring because I've never worked with it before and I was worried that just sewing single layers together would make it too bulky at the seams. I didn't need darts in the chest like hers did (lol thank god, because that looks Hard to do), and I wanted a less dramatic angle on the hem.

To that end, I used the pattern from my Anders brigandine as the jumping-off point:

Though I added some inches because I am no longer the skinny twink I used to be:

TIME TO CUT, BECAUSE I DON'T BELIEVE IN MUSLIN MOCKUPS AND I LIKE TO LIVE DANGEROUSLY.

(This, for the record, is why my sewing projects never turn out as well as they could, but I know myself and I know that if I do a mockup, I will be Fucking Done With Sewing by the time it's over, and then never get around to making the real thing. I expect this gambeson to be a learning experiment, and then wearing it for combat will further show me what I need to adjust for the next one.)

[barbex]

Lovely Friday to you <3 For DADWC, I'd love to see “Stay here tonight.” for Anders and Fenris? <3

Hello and thank you for this prompt for @dadrunkwriting. As always, Fenris and Anders were very inspiring.

---

Anders still can't quite believe it. Fenris invited him to a game of cards with Varric and Donnik, at his place. He stares at the weathered door of the mansion, still not sure if he should really go in. Why would Fenris invite him, without Hawke around? It makes no sense. 

Their friendship — no, that is too much. Their mutual tolerance depends on their friends being around, especially Hawke. Aside from Hawke's frankly terrifying proficiency with force magic, he also has the ability to form a bunch of weirdos into a group of friends. It even works on Fenris and him, the two of them haven't fought in months. It's like a special kind of magic he has.

Anders finally opens the door, clutching the handkerchief with his contribution for the evening to his chest. He can't afford to buy the fancy wine Fenris prefers, but hopefully, the cheese fingers he baked in Lirene's oven are good enough as a small gift. 

Voices come from the main hall and the light of a fire shines into the hallway through a gap in the door. Anders walks forward, drawn to the warmth promised by the fire. The wind from the Waking Sea blows through Kirkwall's streets at this time of the year, even in his coat he feels cold all the time.

Before the others can notice him, he stops near the door, hidden from view. He still feels like an intruder, like he doesn't really belong here. He often feels like that to be honest. It's only when Hawke is around, pulling them all into his orbit, that he doesn't feel like he's the nagging baggage they have to carry around. 

Varric laughs, recounting some tale to Donnic, pouring wine into his glass. Donnic's face is flushed, they must have started early if he is already so deep in his cups. Anders sighs, no, it must be later than he thought. It was a busy day at the clinic and then that young woman came in with her baby, just as he wanted to close. He lost track of time and now he's too late.

He looks at Fenris, sitting on the narrow side of the table, facing the door. He looks relaxed, not quite as flushed as Varric and Donnic, but he is in better training holding his wine. He smiles at the joke Varric is making and Maker, it's unbearable how beautiful he looks with that smile. Anders stands transfixed, hiding in the shadow, watching like a kid staring at a bowl of sweets he can't have. Like a creep. 

He should leave. 

But he made the cheese fingers. Maybe Fenris would like to try them. He doesn't have to stay long, just give him the cheesy things and be off again.

With a breath, he pulls the door further open and steps in. 

"Anders," Varric calls out, "glad you could make it!"

"Sorry I'm late. There was an emergency at the clinic..." He makes to put the handkerchief with his offering on the table when he sees the loose pile of Diamondback cards. "You wanted to play Diamondback." The game needs four players and because he didn't arrive on time, they couldn't play. "Sorry." 

"It was no problem," Fenris says. "We were entertained just fine." His voice sounds so warm that Anders blinks, doubting his own ears. 

"Well, still, I shouldn't have left you hanging." He puts the handkerchief on the table and folds the corner to the sides, revealing the fereldan speciality. "These are cheese fingers, like they make them in Ferelden. Let me know if you like them." He turns around and practically runs to the door.

"Mage?" Fenris calls after him but he doesn't stop. He embarrassed himself enough for one night, he doesn't need more awkwardness and polite dismissals.

"Mage." Fenris is right behind him, however he managed to be so fast. "Anders."

Hearing his name, from Fenris of all people, has him stop, just before he reaches the frontdoor. "Sorry, I'm just gonna leave."

"Why?"

A strange laugh escapes him. Maker, is he going to get hysterics now? "I don't know why you even invited me, I'm sure Varric and Donnic wonder about that too."

"No, they don't." 

Another strange laugh, sounding suspiciously like he's about to start crying and no, he's not going to do that. "I'm..."

"We are friends, with or without Hawke." Fenris puts his hand on Anders' elbow and gently steers him back towards the main hall. "Maybe you and I are not close, not yet. But what better way to change that than over wine and cheese pokers?"

"Fingers, cheese fingers," Anders corrects automatically, his mind still spinning in several directions over what Fenris said. There are questions bubbling in there somewhere but he can't get himself to ask any of them and then he is back at the table, sitting in a sinfully comfortable stuffed chair and Fenris fills a glass of wine for him. 

The wine makes everything a little bit easier, but with his Warden stamina and Justice in the background, he doesn't get drunk. But he can play an easy drunk, he's done that plenty of times and it makes it easy to laugh about silly jokes that aren't even that funny but Varric laughs and Donnic laughs and Fenris — Fenris looks at him and smiles.

It's enough to stop a man's heart.

The evening progresses quickly, his cheese fingers get praised, and at some point Fenris brings a carafe of water and Anders and him switch to water instead of wine. When Varric yawns and Donnic wipes his eyes, Anders fills their glasses with water. "There, you both drink that, then you won't suffer so much in the morning."

"Ugh, don't like that," Varric slurs. 

"Healer's orders."

Fenris glances at Anders, smiling as if they share a joke between them. Like friends. He isn't sure his heart can take much more of this. What is happening? Is Fenris really looking at him like that, smiling, flirting? Or is this just his wishful imagination?

"We should take them both home," Fenris says. 

"Good idea. They would be easy pickings in this state."

They deliver Donnic to Aveline's door, who thanks them and glares at her husband with a mixture of fondness and annoyance. And then they drag Varric between them to the Hanged Man. He insists on bidding them good night at the door, wanting to keep his reputation by going to his suite without their help. 

And then they're alone. They walk, silently, back to Hightown, to Fenris' mansion. Which is ridiculous, he could have just taken one of the ladders down to Darktown from Lowtown. He could have just given his farewells right there at the Hanged Man, like he has done hundreds of times after an evening with Hawke and Varric and the rest of the gang. 

"Your cheese pokers were really good," Fenris says, haltingly. 

"Cheese fingers. Thanks. I found the recipe in a cookbook at an inn in Ferelden and making the cheese fingers paid for a bed for one night." 

"You were a baker?" Fenris smiles at him from under a curtain of white hair, which hopefully hides Anders' furious blush from him.

"No, there's not many opportunities for travelling bakers without their own flour supply." They fall silent again and the awkwardness drives him crazy. "Fenris, thank you for inviting me tonight, but..." As if someone tipped over a bucket, rain splatters down on them. "Aw, shit." Within seconds, his coat is soaked, hanging like dead weight on his shoulders. 

"Come." Fenris grabs his arm and pulls him forward, running up the stairs and through the grand roads of Hightown. The wind picks up as thunder rolls over the sky and Anders would have shivered if he wasn't so hot from running up those damn stairs. 

"Stop, stop," he wheezes. Rain runs down his neck and back but he doesn't care, he has to catch his breath for a minute. Why is he even doing this? "You... you can just go, right? You don't need me to take you home. And I'm —"

Fenris steps in front of him, staring at him with wide eyes. "No."

"No?" Anders wipes wet hair from his forehead. By now he must look like a drowned rat. "Fenris, what is going on? What is..." he gestures between them. "What is this?"

The expression on Fenris' face lies somewhere between confusion and panic. "I hoped you would know."

"Me?" He can't help but laugh, genuinely. "You don't even know what an emotional disaster I am. And I'm supposed to know?"

Fenris just looks at him. 

"Fuck it. If I'm supposed to know, here's what I know." Anders steps closer, touches the side of Fenris' face, and kisses him. 

Fenris doesn't even hesitate. As if he just waited for Anders, he throws his arms around Anders' neck and kisses him back like his life depends on it. 

"Oh," Anders breathes against Fenris' lips. 

"Yes," Fenris whispers, pressing his forehead against Anders'. "Come." He takes Anders' hand and pulls him after him.

The rain still beats down, but Anders floats on clouds, not even aware of where he's going. Finally, the door to the mansion closes behind them and he can let the weight of his wet coat slide from his shoulders. 

Fenris wipes over Anders' shoulders, pressing close. Anders leans down, brushing his nose into his hair.

"I don't want to be indecent," Anders says. "But we should get out of these wet things."

Fenris nods, stepping closer and pressing a kiss to Anders' neck. "I don't mean to rush, but I want you to stay here."

"Tonight," Anders whispers as his lips brush over Fenris' temple.

"And tomorrow night." Fenris kisses along Anders' neck. "And the night after that."

Anders shudders from Fenris' kisses. "And the night after that?"

Fenris leans back, green eyes fixing Anders in time and space. "And the night after that."

Brushing hair out of Fenris' face, Anders holds his gaze. "And then we'll see."

Stretching up on his toes, Fenris kisses his lips. "Yes, and then we'll see."

[broodwolf221]

for dadwc, varric /& whomever (or solo): autophobia [ an irrational, extreme fear of being alone ]

happy writing!

-inquisimer

y'know, i think my favorite part of having joined dadwc is prompts like these, which make me consider a side of a character i never had before, and lead me down this fascinating rabbit hole. so thank you! this was a delight. @dadrunkwriting 827 words cws: none

Bartrand. Bianca. Hawke. Anders at the Hanged Man. Isabela. The Inquisitor. Solas. Hell, even Cassandra.

He kept himself busy. Kept himself in company. So that even when he was alone, he really wasn't, his thoughts occupied by worrying after his spies, his contacts, his friends, the Merchant's Guild, his family.

Still, he felt the weight of being alone. Living at the Hanged Man had taken the edge off, for even when he was alone in his room, the sounds of the city filtered in. He was never really alone.

But Skyhold was so quiet today. The Inquisitor and Hawke at Adamant, and no word back as yet, a strange hush falling over all who remained at the keep. He made the servants uneasy if he lingered in the kitchen, for he was seen as a core member of the Inquisition despite the fact that he'd never really joined and it made them feel overly observed, so he'd left them to their own devices.

Usually he was okay here, even when the Inquisitor left without him. The differences were significant, but the constant activity did remind him of Kirkwall; the shouts of merchants trying to set up or break down their stalls for the day or harking their wares, the deft rush of messengers, the constant chatter of Leliana's birds… there were always reminders of others. 

But today was bitterly cold, even for Skyhold, and an unpleasant rain had picked up a few hours ago. Sometimes it switched to hail, pinging off the worked stone, but whether rain or hail, it served to obscure the minimal sounds of the keep. Everyone was sticking to themselves, a palpable feeling of dread settling across all of them. It felt like something bad had happened, but he kept trying to convince himself that was nonsense. 

It was just a cold, rainy day, and that put a damper on people's spirits. So if everyone seemed particularly quiet and withdrawn today, even when he'd visited the pub, that was clearly the reason. Well, and the inevitable thread of worry that suffused all those left behind whenever the Inquisitor was away. Their sole hope and all.

For all he knew, it was just him. Maybe everyone else was just tired. Yeah, tired. He knew he was tired—exhausted, more like. He hadn't been sleeping well. So it was a rainy day and they were tired. Nothing was wrong, and the Inquisitor would return triumphant, and he'd have the next chapter of a book that he'd struggle to make sound even remotely realistic. Everything was fine. 

It was just that he hadn't felt this grim crush of fear for years. He had wandered all of Skyhold already, but the advisors were all holed up in the war room, Blackwall had turned down his offer of a round of Wicked Grace to kill time, and even though they talked sometimes while traveling, he knew better than to disturb Madame Vivienne in these halls. She always seemed to be preoccupied. Or maybe just imperious.

Or maybe she just plain didn’t want to talk.

Thing is, he kinda needed to talk. To someone. Or to hear them talk, or something. When he’d visited the pub, even Maryden was being uncharacteristically silent, sat down at the bar with an untouched drink and her lute leaned up beside her.

When it got this bad—and it'd been a while since it had—he always tried to turn to writing. A lot of The Tale of the Champion came out as a result of these moods, common after their strange little group shattered.

Blondie. Maker's breath. He wanted to talk to him, too, and that was… a lot. Too much. He still couldn't figure out if he was angry or understanding, guilty or bitter. Kirkwall was his home. Their little group had been so much of his life. An act of destruction at once massive and miniscule, nothing at all compared to what he'd seen within the Inquisition, but in so many ways the beginning of all this.

Of course, a part of him knew it wasn't all Anders’ fault. A part of him really did. But he hadn't found a way to forgive him, either. Not yet… not yet, and maybe not ever. For hurting his city. For breaking their group. For the beginning of the end. Or the beginning of the beginning. 

But he'd even talk to him, right now.

Instead he grabbed the little book that held all his mess—safest to keep it between pages, and in his own shorthand at that—and opened it up, setting out inkwell and quill.

Days like this, he began, and he'd have to rework that for sure if this ever went to print, the Inquisitor gone, Skyhold quiet, and a storm on the horizon…

He kept writing. He'd create his own answer, manufacture his own company from memory.

He'd get by. The Inquisitor would be back. The storm would pass. 

Oh, and they'd save the world, too.

[inquisimer]

six song soundtrack

@shivunin tagged me to make a character soundtrack, thank you friend!!

If you're tagged, make a new post with links to music and/or lyrics describing the following: 1. An event that defines your character's past 2. How your character sees themselves 3. How others view them 4. Their closest relationship (platonic or romantic) 5. A major fight scene 6. End credits song

For Siobhan Hawke:

This City by Sam Fischer

Hard to Kill by Beth Crowley

W.I.T.C.H. by Annapantsu

Happy by MARINA

Hell or High Water by The Rescues

All the King's Horses by Karmina

tagging forward to: @rosella-writes | @pickelda | @dungeons-and-dragon-age | @exalted-dawn-drabbles | @queenaeducan

thoughts & rambling under the cut :3

An event that defines Siobhan's past: This City by Sam Fischer

this city's gonna break my heart this city's gonna love me then leave me alone this city's got me chasin' stars it's been a couple months since I felt like I'm home this city's gonna break my heart

Since a lot of Siobhan's story, for me, focuses on the later acts and post-DA2, I chose a song that speaks to her arrival in Kirkwall as an event that defines her past. When they get to Kirkwall, she's still desperately trying to fill Malcolm's empty shoes for their family - now without the context that she saw her dad in, and having just lost Bethany. She's a little bit lost, trying very hard not to let on that she's lost, and suddenly she and Kirkwall need each other. That purpose takes away a lot of her uncertainty and she seizes on it.

How Siobhan sees herself: Hard to Kill by Beth Crowley

I belong to the city and was raised on the stakes I claimed so I let the rumors turn me into a legend 'cause I'm only human but a good myth is hard to kill

So much of Siobhan's identity is tied to being the Champion, and later the Viscountess. She stops seeing herself as separate from Kirkwall--the city would not survive without her, and she needs it just the same (both figuratively and literally). This one also touches on her quest for power and control: she knows that she'll never be safe unless she's untouchable, so she sets out from the start to become a person who can pull all the strings in Kirkwall, and succeeds. In doing so, she comes to care so deeply about the city that her plan loops back on itself, and even after she's safe, she seeks out the favors her mythology offers to make the city better.

How others view Siobhan: W.I.T.C.H. by Annapantsu

she ain't out to get you, but she's better on your side and she don't wanna be anybody else she's a woman in total control of herself it's such a wonder to be under her spell what a woman in total control of herself

Very few people (none, for many years in Kirkwall) can perceive anything about Siobhan that she doesn't want them to. And what she wants them to see is someone in control, someone who knows what she's doing, where she's going, and how she's going to get there. Because she needs them to believe that, to give her the access and tools she needs to actually make it happen. It's a delicate balance, but she's very charismatic and politic and persuasive. It isn't until Act III that her closer friends (Sebastian & Fenris) start to see cracks and after not until after Anders' destruction of the Chantry that it slips fully. Only long enough for her to kill him, and then it's back in place for her to fix what he broke, but it slips long enough to be seen, which is more than she let it slide for the ten years before.

Her closest relationship - Siobhan/Loghain: Happy by MARINA

it made me feel like I belonged and all the sadness inside me melted away like I was free I found what I'd been looking for in myself Found a life worth living for someone else

Oh boy. Yeah, I turned this one over a LOT before settling here. Siobhan's relationship with Loghain is one of mirrors--they are on the same journey, just a few decades apart. He loved Ferelden so much that he sold his soul to hold it together (it wasn't enough) and she loved Kirkwall so much that holding it together tore her apart (it wasn't enough). He was forced to leave the country he loved for its own good, and she was eventually forced to leave Kirkwall for the same. They have regrets upon regrets and the same "I have to keep going. For something, but I have to keep going" resignation about continuing after they failed their respective regions. After Anders' actions at the Chantry and taking over as Viscountess, Siobhan is in a dark place: because of what she let happen and how much blood and fire it took to restore balance. And what it's going to cost to fix it. That Loghain comes back into her life at that point is key, because he sees in her the man he was at the end of Tabris' sword and he knows how to hold her through picking up those pieces. In working together over that first year, they each find someone who can understand the insurmountable pain and regret of what they've done--it will never go away, but they can hold each other on the days that it sits heavier on their hearts. They understand each other in this way, in the way that almost no other possibly could. And they are each needed, not for what they can do but for who they are, a rare experience for each of them.

A major fight scene: Hell or High Water by The Rescues

we are running out of time meet me at the water line no one here is safe - when the river's running red and we begin to falter we'll hang on to the edge come hell or high water

Since it was a fight song, I picked this one at least partially for the rhythm and beat, which slaps. I'm really sad that it got taken down off Spotify😭 beyond that, "no one here is safe" speaks to Siobhan's constantly looking over her shoulder, covering her ass, making sure she's considered every angle so that nothing can take her by surprise. Likewise, "we'll hang on to the edge, come hell or high water"--Siobhan is virtually unflappable in most situations; she's adaptable, and cunning and she will make things work for her. Essentially this post: she is so fucking hinged. She will not be unhinged, as long as her life and the life of those she loves depends on her staying hinged.

End credits song: All the King's Horses by Karmina

caught in the thought of that time when everything was fine, everything was mine - blind, but I'm still alive free to go back on my own but is it still a home, when you're all alone? all the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put me back together again

Of course, Siobhan loses Loghain when he sacrifices himself to take the Nightmare down in the Fade. She loses him to her mistake, when she was ready to pay for that error. Loses him, in fact, against the Inquisitor's wishes--Trevelyan was going to send Hawke against the demon and Loghain intervenes. And she is so broken by this. It utterly shatters the confidence and charisma and poise that was the core of her forever. For one, shining moment, she has a Kirkwall that is whole & thriving, she has a lover who knows her at her side, there are no imminent threats.

And then it all comes crashing down.

After the Fade and the Inquisition, she can't go back to Kirkwall, because she's not the same person who was their Champion and she can't stand the ghost of Loghain that lives there now. It breaks her heart doubly, because she wants nothing more than the comfort of her city--but it hurts just as much, now.

She gets resolution, a different happy ending with Sebastian, and the title of this song is a nod to that. The Prince of Starkhaven can't heal her or put her back together, as much as he wants to. In her grief, she has to process and choose to keep living, for herself.

[skadilothbrok]

Given The Chance - Chapter 5

You’d made sure all your weapons were hidden from view as you finally strolled down the path with a casual gait, a stolen basket over your arm. As you reached the first trio of soldiers you made a show of being shocked to see them.

“What’s your business” they called out in German, but you shook your head in a show of not understanding them.

“You speak English?” another of them asked.

“Only little” you gave them your best Dutch accent.

“Why are you here?” one of them men asked in thickly accented English.

“Dock money” you told them “I collect each day for bank” they shared a look before turning back to you.

“Fetch it and be on your way” they instructed you.

You gave them a timid look and made sure to keep your head down as you shuffled past them, heading towards the dockmasters shed. Most of the soldiers were too busy talking amongst themselves as you strolled past them. A few made lewd comments which you simply ignored.

Just as you made it to the doorway, a loud explosion rang out across the other side of the dock. The soldiers instantly sprang into action, rushing towards the noise. Rushing inside the shed, the four soldiers that were readying the MG 42 turned to you confused.

Before they had time to fire off a single round, you pulled a pistol from your basket and shot the closest two dead. The next ran at you and you took care of him with a blade to the throat, blood spraying you as he fell. Indecision between manning the gun or dealing with you made the final man easy enough to kill.

Pushing him out of the way you took his position and took aim down the sight of the gun. A grin spread over your face as you started to take out groups of the Nazi soldiers. Between bursts, you spotted the rest of your team appearing from their hiding positions and dropping bodies.

The door to the shed swung open and an officer rushed towards you with a snarl. Rushing to turn and defend yourself, you cursed at the inconvenient angle you were at. Seconds later the door burst open once more and Anders tackled the officer to the ground. He attacked the man with such aggression that you were left stunned.

Once he was finished, he turned to you covered in blood. If the look on his face was anything to go by, he was watching for your reaction to his show of brutality. “You’re all messy” you rose an eyebrow at him.

“So are you” he gestured to the blood splattered over your own face before closing the distance and pulling you into a fiery kiss. It was all teeth and battling for dominance. You let him win. This time.

When he stepped back from you, you released a long breath “better get back to it” you told him before turning your attention back to shooting down Nazi’s. He left the shed to continue his own spree quickly after, but your heartrate refused to slow back to normal.

Not long after, there wasn’t a single soldier left on the dock. Standing from your position, you picked up the MG 42 before strolling from the shed and heading for the boat. “You taking souvenirs?” Freddy asked with a laugh as you jumped onto the deck.

“It’s too lovely to leave behind” you grinned as you put it down on the deck before moving to help ready the boat to leave. Half an hour later and you were clear off the coast and not a sign of being pursued at all.

“That went well” Gus finally spoke up “good job Y/n” he nodded at you.

“Always happy to kill Nazi’s” you beamed back at him, fully aware that there was still blood covering your face and clothes. A few laughs reached your ears before your eyes landed on Anders across the deck, in a similarly blood covered state.

“Time to go get cleaned up I think” you strolled over to him and tugged at his hand, pulling him after you as you disappeared below deck.

“You’re so perfect for me” Anders quickly moved to touch you more as you made your way to the small bathroom area.

“Is that so” you asked cheekily as you pulled your bloodied top over your head without hesitation, turning to the small sink and grabbing a cloth to wet. You watched Anders pull his own bloody shirt off in the small mirror. He wrapped his body around yours and took the damp cloth from your hand.

Dropping your head back against his shoulder, you sighed deeply as he started to wipe the blood and dirt from your skin. His movements were so gentle, clashing with the rough exterior that he displayed. You enjoyed the attention as you closed your eyes, relaxing into him.

Once the blood was cleaned from your body, he gently turned you around to wipe the splatters from your face. “So perfect” he spoke softly as he wiped the last mark away. You smiled softly before taking the cloth from him and returning the favour of cleaning him.

“You keep saying nice things to me we might have a problem” you spoke as you moved the cloth over his arms.

“Why’s that?” he watched you carefully as you worked.

You considered your answer before voicing it. “I might go and get overly attached to you”.

“That doesn’t sound like a problem to me” he told you as you moved onto his other arm.

“What if I end up wanting to keep you?” you dared as you gently removed the dirt from his skin, moving up to his face only to find him smiling widely at you.

“Then I’m yours to keep” he said it with such sincerity that you felt your own smile widen fully.

“You might regret that” you gently wiped his cheek clean.

“I doubt it” he took the cloth from your hand and threw it back into the sink before pulling you into a kiss more filled with emotion than any of the previous ones.

You hummed against him as you placed a hand on his chest and moved back a little. “Unfortunately, our friends are just up on the deck, and I’ve not known them nearly long enough to put on a show”.

“Damn them” he laughed as he placed another peck on your lips “this is torture”.

“We’ll be back in a couple of days” you reminded yourself as much as him “and then we can lock your bedroom door and throw away the key”.

“Hopefully the days are short” he reluctantly stepped back from you before leading you out of the bathroom to get clean clothes from your bunks. As you pulled out a fresh shirt and threw it over your shoulders, he moved closer to help button it up. Even that small act of care made you feel giddy.

This man was going to be the death of you. But damn you would die happy.

==BONUS ANDERS’ POV==

Every moment that he couldn’t ravish you felt like a physical torture. Every time you entered the same space as him, his blood ran hot. He’d never felt such an attraction to anyone before. The first time he saw you, he thought you were attractive. There were plenty of attractive women around.

But then he’d gotten to know you. And he was a goner.

It was like every interaction he had with you had him tumbling further and further. Seeing you fight had been the final straw. You were going to be his woman. There was no question about it. He’d grovel at your feet if needed.

“You’re absolutely smitten” Gus’ words snapped him out of his thoughts. Dragging his eyes away from you and over to his friend, Anders remained quiet, “you can’t keep your eyes off of her”.

He hummed in response before commenting “you know what Gus, I might just make that woman my wife one day”.

Gus’ eyebrows shot up in surprise before a wide grin took over his face. “I don’t doubt it” he slapped his hand over his shoulder “I don’t doubt it for a second”.

[pinkfadespirit]

Hi there and happy Friday! :) How about “Can I use your lap as a pillow?” for any pairing you're feeling tonight?

I wrote some silly Handers pining for this.

for @dadrunkwriting

It was a late night at the Hawke estate but the house was far from quiet. Though the party Leandra had hosted had begun to wind down a while ago, the room where Hawke's friends had hidden themselves away from the stuffy Hightown nobility was still buzzing with conversation. They'd finished several bottles of wine between the group and were all comfortably draped across various pieces of furniture while Varric told one of his stories. Or tried to, anyway. There had been a few interruptions so far.

Hawke had flopped into his favourite armchair as soon as he'd escaped the main party and figured out where his friends had disappeared to. He hadn't thought about it at the time but now he sat across from the sofa that Anders was sharing with Isabela he was sort of regretting not taking the empty spot in between them. Sure, it would have been the complete opposite of subtlety to wedge himself in between them when there was a  free seat on the other side of the room. But it would have got him closer to Anders. 

Was that pathetic of him?

Probably.

It was probably best that he hadn't done that.

But he did wish someone else would have taken this seat and given him an excuse for it.

Hawke decided to put the thought from his mind and focus on Varric's story instead. It didn't get him very far. Fenris had interrupted this time and Hawke's attention began to wander once more as the discussion veered off course. It seemed Isabela's had too.

"How long have we been here?" she was asking Anders. "It feels late. I'm exhausted."

"It is pretty late," Anders agreed. "If you're that tired, I'm sure no one would be offended if you took off."

"Pfft..." Isabela said dismissively before taking another swig from her bottle. "I think I'll just stay here and drink until I pass out on Hawke's sofa."

"Well that's another perfectly reasonable option," said Anders drily.

"Ooh, could I use your lap as a pillow?" Isabela asked. Like that was no big deal.

Anders just laughed like he wasn’t sure why she would want to but he answered, "Sure, why not?"

Hawke had to focus very hard then on not setting the arm of his favourite chair on fire as he watched Isabela casually flop down over the empty cushion where he'd just been thinking about sitting in and rest her head in Anders' lap.

It was strange, really, how much you could utterly hate the sight of something and be unable to look away.

Anders smiled like he was amused by Isabela's antics but he seemed perfectly willing to indulge her as he lifted his hand and started stroking her hair. "Ohh that's nice," said Isabela.

Hawke finally forced himself to look away.

"Merrill, could you pass me that bottle? I'd like a refill."

"Of course, Hawke," Merrill said with a smile and leaned over from where she was sitting on a cushion next to Hawke's seat to grab a wine bottle from the table. At this point she noticed Anders and Isabela. "You two look very cosy."

"Hmm," said Isabela. "His legs are a bit bony, if I'm being completely honest, but there are other perks."

"That's a fine way to thank me for letting you use me as human bedding," said Anders tartly, prompting Hawke to look back at him. Which he instantly regretted when he saw them casually touching in ways that Hawke had often fantasied about with Anders.

"You'd probably be better off with Hawke if that's the problem," said Merrill thoughtfully.

Isabela looked his way and smirked. "That is a good point."

"Don't even think about it," Hawke muttered. And yes, maybe that was the jealousy talking.

Isabela pouted playfully but Hawke wondered if there had been something knowing in the way she'd looked at him in the moment before that.

Merrill, however, didn't seem to have an issue with saying exactly what she was thinking. "I bet you'd let Anders if he asked, though."

Hawke felt his face heat up. "That's different."

Isabela laughed. "You're far too obvious."

Hawke couldn't help looking back at Anders and taking note of the blush that had crept over his face. "Well," he said, daring to meet Hawke's eyes despite the obvious embarrassment, "there's always next time."

Hawke's mouth dropped open but he couldn't manage to get any words out. He closed it, then tried again. "I, er... I might just hold you to that."

When Anders smiled at him then, Hawke started to think that maybe his jealousy had been a little unnecessary. After all, Anders hadn't smiled at Isabela quite like that.

[catofadifferentcolor]

Terrible Fic Idea #91: Modern Girl in Thedas, but make it DA2

In honor of DA:V coming out next month I've been replaying DA:I. This is something of a trial because, having just finished a Hogwarts Legacy replay, it's easy to tell that this game is 10 years old - that, and I loved how focused and intimate DA2 feels. Yes, it has world-spanning implications, but it's really all about this guy trying to do his best by his friends and his family. I love it, and DA:I never inspired the same kind of feels.

All of which is a long way of saying: I got to thinking about that most famous of tropes, Modern Girl in Thedas, and I thought about how would I handle it?

Or: What if the MGiT were to appear in Kirkwall shortly before the Fifth Blight?

Just imagine it:

Rather than a true self-insert, I see this more as modern woman meets Thedas, with a middle-aged fan of the Dragon Age series waking up in the body of an unnamed background character in a Hightown estate sometime in early 9:30 following a severe illness. The keyword here is fan - the SI has played the games, read the fic, and glanced at the wiki, but couldn't write out a clear timeline or recall most codex entries.

The SI eventually learns that she's woken up in the body of Sofia Vidal, the 15-year-old daughter of the richest merchant in Kirkwall. Their family has a virtual monopoly on cloth trade on the northern cost of the Waking Sea and has distant ties to Orlesian Nobility as well as the Amells. Their Hightown estate abuts the future Hawke Estate, and if the term robber baron existed in Thedas it would probably apply to here them.

Now, going from the body of a middle-aged engineer from the modern world into the body of a teenager in a Medieval fantasy world is difficult... but luckily no one seems to notice, because it seems doubtful that anyone has ever noticed Sofia Vidal in her life, her family included. She was mousy and shy and easily startled and apparently an endless disappointment to the family for being more fond of books than hunting or fighting.

Because, as Sofia soon discovers, the Vidal family has aspirations. They can read the writing on the wall with regards to the current Viscount and are willing to go to any end to have their family be named the viscountcy.

To which end: Sofia is the youngest of seven children. Three died in the cradle or soon after. Her oldest brother - Gaspare, her senior by nearly twenty years - spends most of his time in Orlais with his titled wife, running the family business interests there. Their other two living siblings are mages, with Amalia sent to the Kirkwall Circle while her twin Agnese went to the Circle at Dairsmuid. It had been their father's hope that, should they not be able to secure the viscountcy themselves, one of his children could marry into the line... but Sofia is so unlikely to catch anyone's eye that her father despairs of her ever marrying at all.

All of which brings us back to the events of DA2.

Sofia may not know much, but she knows that the Blight is coming. She also knows that the conditions in Darktown are horrendous and only about to get worse as refugees flood the cities, so she buys a book on healing, collects some herbs, and sets up shop on the opposite side of Darktown from where Anders had his clinic. It's better than sitting around the estate all day and makes her feel like her transmigration has a purpose.

The events of canon proceed apace...

...which is something of a surprise, because for a long while it's quite easy for Sofia to forget that she's in a video game world at all. That is, until Anders appears at her door looking to swap healing recipes, trade potions, and - eventually - share a drink at the end of the day.

It's through Anders that she meets Garrett Hawke - a cheerfully sarcastic force mage of breathtaking power. He's the sort of powerful it would be easy to fear if he wasn't so affable and in control of his gifts. The idea that he could probably take over Kirkwall through sheer power of his magic and personality alone never seems to occur to him - which is good, because he could probably be DA's answer to Alexander the Great if he cared to try.

Sofia doesn't join the Kirkwall crew, however. She does her healing, gleefully watches their antics from the sidelines, and occasionally joins them for a drink at the Hanged Man.

Though she is the first to welcome the Hawkes to Hightown at the end of Act I, becoming quite close with Leandra. (For many years Leandra will harbor the hope that Sofia and her son will marry and give her many grandchildren to dote over, but neither are inclined that way. Especially after it's revealed they're third cousins.)

Sofia turns 19 in 9:34, the year Hawke becomes Champion.

It's also the year Sofia is introduced to Sebastian Vael, being dragged out of bed in the middle of the night to attend the prince, who is bleeding out in the foyer of Hawke's home following the events of Repentance. It's not the first time this has happened - Sofia's bedroom is infinitely closer than Ander's clinic - but it is perhaps the most embarrassing.

Embarrassing, because she prefers not to be introduced to royalty in her nightclothes. Sofia has standards - not many, mind, but she has them.

Luckily for her, Sebastian is far too out of it to recall what she was wearing. But he can't help but develop a crush on the kind healer who so diligently tended his wounds - one who also ministers to the poor and downtrodden, though she could easily choose to live a life of luxury.

What follows falls somewhere between the canon friend and rival romances. We get a Sebastian who wants to regain Starkhaven because Sofia deserves no less than a Prince but who has the calm and pro-mage sympathies of the friendship route.

But that of course takes time, because Sofia's not convinced at first that Sebastian's crush has nothing to do with seeing her in her nightclothes. (Nor, for that matter, does she particularly care for the idea of a chaste marriage or an aggressively anti-mage spouse. She'd not been a particular fan of Sebastian in the game, but hadn't hated him either.)

Canon proceeds apace. Hawke becomes Champion, Kirkwall is left without a viscount, and Sofia's father tries to marry her off to however looks most likely to succeed Dumar this week.

As the chaos mounts, the soft, slow romance between Sofia and Sebastian is a breath of fresh air. On Sebastian's part, it grows from a seed of fondness - and, yes, lust - to genuine affection as he gets to know Sofia. For her part, by the time Sofia realizes she cares for Sebastian she's already in deep. Its friendship turned to love, which is the best and strongest.

They wed in a small ceremony in 9:36, only telling Sofia's father after the fact. As Sebastian has to leave the Chantry to do so, they're forced to camp out at Hawke's estate for several weeks before finding a small place of their own. This is awkward - mostly because the Vidal estate right next door and Sofia's father is a pompous ass on the best of days.

As the calendar turns to 9:37, matters reach their tipping point. Anders blows up the Kirkwall Chantry and Hawke is forced to kill him in hopes of restoring order. This fails and events of the endgame play out with Hawke siding with the mages.

Hawke goes on the run, helping mages across the Free Marches get to safety.

Sebastian makes good on his promise of taking back Starkhaven for Sofia, making her a princess in truth. The city becomes a sanctuary district for many of the mages in northern Thedas, much as Redcliffe was for the mages in the south. This doesn't prevent the events of DA:I, but halves the numbers of conscripts available for Alexius to conscript later. They send forces to help Kirkwall rebuild... but the city is still lawless and in turmoil when the Conclave occurs in 9:40.

Per Sofia's urging, Sebastian helps the Inquisition in its early days... though she does make it clear that she thinks the Inquisition's only aim should be to close the Breach.

But for the most part Sebastian and Sofia end up living fairly happily in Starkhaven. They have a larger family than Sofia ever imagined herself wanting - 5 kids, but magical epidurals are a wonderful thing. It's not a utopia, but it's the best that can be expected given the politics of the time. Their eldest succeeds their father as Prince of Starkhaven while their next oldest, not to be outdone, eventually gets themselves named Viscount of Kirkwall - just as the Vidal family had always dreamed.

Bonuses include:

Sofia becoming deeply, deeply over-invested in the relationship between Hawke and Fenris. So much so that for a while Sebastian thinks she's interested in one or the other or both and resolves to let her pursue her happiness without any interference from him, only to have it knocked into his head by a third-party that Sofia doesn't want be with them, she wants them to be with each other. This should be played for maximum humor and confusion.

An exceptionally complicated relationship with the Chantry. Sebastian is very much a committed Andrastian, whereas Sofia was agnostic at best in the modern world. Are demons and magic and the Breech proof that the Maker exists? Should she follow the rituals of the religion for Sebastian's sake or be honest about her beliefs? Can she open her mind enough to give Andrastianism an honest try? &c.

Sofia coming to view Leandra as second mother. Though she tries her best to prevent the events of All That Remains, she's not a fighter. All she's able to do is injure Quentin and alert Hawke to the problem sooner; Leandra still dies, but it's before Quentin is able to reanimate his perfect bride.

An engineer being forced to come to terms with magic. It makes the transition to a world at Middle Ages level of scientific advancement easier than it otherwise would be (magically running water!) but still makes Sofia's basic knowledge of germ theory a great leap forward in her Darktown clinic; and

Sofia gaining a reputation for being a great storyteller by blatantly stealing stories from the modern world to entertain children at her clinic. Varric eventually "borrows" some of these ideas and ends up writing the DA version of Harry Potter set in a fictional Circle in the years leading up to the mage rebellion.

And that is surprisingly more than I had. To be frank, the Sebastian romance snuck up on me because it's not one I usually go for, but the muse wants what it wants. As always, feel free to adopt this bun - just link back if you do anything with it.

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[darkfeanix]

Thedas Tuesday

I started this last Tuesday, and you wanna know how many relationships I wrote between then and yesterday?

Varric. I wrote up Ariel's relationship with Varric last Tuesday, and then didn't get around to writing any of the others until this afternoon. Even having a clear idea of most of them, that took a lot out of me. Aveline in particular completely surprised me with the direction her relationship with Ariel took.

This is where I realised that my canon, while it aligns with the games it takes place, doesn't necessary line up with the game that followed. Again, this is about Aveline. In Dragon Age II, it is canonically possible to get her to a point where she will resign from the City Guard, and I decided that that I wanted to write that into her relationship with Ariel. That does mean it contradicts literally everything about her in relation to Dragon Age Inquisition, but you know what? That's Bioware's fault for giving me the option in Dragon Age II and not considering the follow-through in Inquisition.

Anway, without further adieu, please find the companion relationships for Dragon Age II under the cut (including Dog, because Dog counts, dammit).

Dermid Hawke

Ariel's shrewd mabari hound, undeniably the fourth Hawke child, and overall good boy. Expert card shark and frequent player at Varric's weekly Wicked Grace games.

Bethany Hawke

Ariel always got on better with Bethany than she did with Carver, and while that initially led to some tension between them after his death ("Could I have done more if I hadn't been so focused on protecting my sister?" is a question they both ask themselves many times in the years to come), ultimately the love they have for each other is deeper than any outside force. While Bethany initially resented Ariel for leaving her out of the Deep Roads Expedition, and was scared when the templars arrived to take her to the Circle, over time it grew to be more of a relief to not be looking over her shoulder anymore. This only reinforced Ariel's own beliefs that the Circles served a necessary role, and she would spend the next few years maintaining this perspective as their correspondence continued.

It wasn't until Bethany was abducted by Thrask and Grace, who hoped to use her as leverage to force Ariel to act, that Ariel was forced to admit that the situation in Kirkwall had gotten out of control. Even then, she resisted all efforts to force her to pick a side, toeing the line with Meredith right up until the moment when Meredith took it upon herself to annul the Kirkwall Circle of Magi in response to Anders destroying the Chantry. At long last, Ariel was forced to open her eyes and admit that she couldn't stand by and watch while the templars continued to abuse their authority. When the templars came to execute their charges, the Hawke sisters stood side by side and held the line, rebuking the attack and, when it came to it, striking down Knight-Commander Meredith.

Aveline Vallen

Initially tentative friends after fleeing from Lothering, the two of them grew distant in the year of indentured servitude to Athenril and her smugglers, as Aveline resented being made to do illegal work. The very day that their debt was cleared, Aveline enlisted with the Kirkwall city guard, and that put additional strain on their relationship as Ariel continued to associate with Kirkwall's criminal underworld. Even so, it was to Hawke that Aveline turned to when she began to suspect something untoward was happening with Guard Captain Jeven, and in the years to come, she would credit Hawke with her own rapid rise to the role of Guard Captain.

The relationship took another serious hit when a blood mage abducted and killing Ariel's mother. Ariel blamed the City Guards' inaction during an earlier investigation – and Aveline in particular – for her mother's death, while Aveline viewed it as a tragedy that she could not have prevents despite how much she wished it. It became a point of contention between them that wouldn't be resolved until a couple of years later. Aveline's involvement in the Arishok being moved to take action against Kirkwall drove an additional wedge between them.

With little in the way of friends and no family to speak of, Aveline threw herself into her role as Guard Captain for the next three years, taking the lessons she had learned from Leandra's death and the Qunari invasion and applying them to the City Guard with ruthless determination. Her new exacting standards produced a higher quality of guard overall, at the cost of quantity. And despite herself, Ariel's respect for Aveline grew, particularly as Meredith blocked all efforts to crown and new viscount, while the templars refused to step up and support the Guard. They finally mended fences after Jeven returned to stir up resentment in both the current guards and those who had failed to meet Aveline's standards. Realising that she had been trying to save something that was determined to destroy itself, Aveline decided to resign from her position and dedicate herself full time to the cause of keeping the city safe, alongside Ariel.

Varric Tethras

They get on like a house on fire. What began as a mutually beneficial business arrangement quickly evolved into a lasting friendship, and it wouldn’t be inaccurate to say that Varric is Ariel’s best friend. In the early days, Varric helped Ariel practice her lockpicking skills, giving her pointers and advice. As the years passed, she became his confidante and the person he turned to whenever he needed help. Similarly, Varric was always ready with a flagon of ale and an ear to listen when Ariel was fed up dealing with the Kirkwall nobility.

When Varric’s traitorous brother returned to Kirkwall, Ariel was eager to get some good old-fashioned revenge along with her friend, but she changed her mind after seeing the state he was in. She persuaded Varric to spare Bartrand’s life, and with her family’s connections to the Chantry, was able to help him find a sanitarium where he could receive the care he needed. For the remainder of her time in Kirkwall, Ariel would pay fortnightly visits to Bartrand, bringing flowers and reading to him. And a couple of years later, as the situation with the templars got worse and the Veil in Kirkwall grew ever more fragile, the two of them needed to return to the manor where Bartrand had been holed up, recovering a piece of the red lyrium idol that had driven him mad. The two of them debated for several tense minutes before Varric convinced Ariel that keeping the chip of the idol was worth the trouble, as it might help him help Bartrand.

When things finally came to a head with Knight-Commander Meredith, Varric expressed concerns about actively opposing the Templar Order, but he still backed Ariel a hundred percent.

Sebastian Vael

Grand Cleric Elthina might have said that Ariel brought out the worst in Sebastian, but the truth is that she only ever encouraged him to pursue what was rightfully his. Their relationship was tempestuous at times, but they developed real feelings for each other as the years passed, and the result was that Sebastian did begin to pull away from the Chantry as his focus turned to Starkhaven and how its people continued to suffer.

After Elthina's death at Anders' hands, Sebastian realised he had nothing left to hold him back. With Ariel's support, he returned to Starkhaven and claimed the throne that had been his all along.

Fenris

Ariel met Fenris through her connections with Athenril's smuggling ring, and the two became fast friends, with Fenris accompanying Ariel and Varric on the expedition into the Deep Roads along with another of their friends, Isabela. In the years the followed, he became one of Ariel's most reliable allies, and she his. Though they would never quite see eye-to-eye on the issue of mages, Ariel did help him to heal from many of his worst traumas, and in the end he stood side-by-side with her to protect the mages of Kirkwall when Meredith tried to annul the Circle of Magi.

Merrill

The relationship between Ariel and Merrill did not get off on the right foot, as Merrill's use of blood magic and consorting with a demon in the pursuit of knowledge to restore an ancient elven mirror immediately put Ariel on edge. It was not until after Bethany was taken by the templars that things began to change. Ariel, for all intents and purposes, adopted Merrill as a surrogate sister to protect, just as she had been taught all her life to protect Bethany. This didn't always go well. Merrill was no Bethany, and Ariel didn't always make the right choices in her efforts to "protect" Merrill. She always walked a thin line between trying to support Merrill's pursuit of lost knowledge and showing an interest in elven culture, and trying to discourage Merrill's use of "forbidden" magic.

Things finally came to a head some six or seven years after their first meeting, when Merril's former teacher and maternal figure, Keeper Marethari, took it upon herself to put a permanent end to Merrill's pursuit of the knowledge she sought by taking the demon into herself and becoming an abomination. Merrill was forced to fight and kill Marethari, and when the last remnants of her clan – those who hadn't already departed to find a home with other clans – found out what had happened, they turned on her and attempted to kill her. And Ariel did what she had been taught to do: she protected her sister.

Filled with shame and despair for her role in the death of her clan, Merrill shattered the mirror that she had poured so much of her life into. Ariel, surprising both of them, told Merrill that she couldn't hold herself responsible for the actions of Marethari or the clan, and encouraged Merrill to not give up on her pursuit of ancient elven knowledge.

Anders

Ariel had a great many concerns about Anders from the beginning, and the only reason the didn't turn him over to the templars on the spot was because of the potential attention it could bring to Bethany. As time went on, she had to concede that he did a lot of good work for the residents of Darktown, in particular the Fereldan refugees, but she never fully trusted him.

Isabela

While nobody looking from the outside would have called Ariel and Isabela friends, they did move in similar circles, and had a relationship built on mutual respect and sometimes also flirting. They both knew nothing would ever come of it, as Ariel was too pious for Isabela's tastes and Isabela too reckless by half from Ariel's perspective, but it was fun to play pretend all the same (and they did play, that one time, but again, nothing ever came of it). The two of them were also bonded by their shared love for Merrill.

Isabela blamed Ariel's influence on her for her decision to bring the Tome of Koslun back to return it to the Arishok, and also for her decisions to keep coming back to Kirkwall again and again over the next few years. For her part, Ariel did really appreciate Isabela's company, and was always happy to buy a round or three at the Hanged Man in Lowtown and listen to the latest tales of Isabela's attempts to leave Kirkwall behind.

Tallis

A Qunari agent who tricked Ariel into helping her recover a list of names that would have identified countless other Qunari working undercover in southern Thedas. Ariel bitterly regrets not being fast enough to put an end to Tallis and recover that list for herself.

[guiltycorp]

Just finished replaying Dragon Age II (first time i played it i was a teenager) and I have so many thoughts on Anders, as one does...

I think the centrist message of the game is strengthened many times by Anders being the only main character actively working to change the status quo of the story? When every other character opposes drastic change it feels like Anders is ‘betraying’ the core group by making those story-changing decisions on his own, and a random player’s allegiance will likely be to the mc and all of their chosen companions rather than those specific in-game groups like mages or elves. As Hawke, you can’t really directly participate one way or the other, you are simply giving your support to decisions made by the other characters, and so the first side to do something drastic is the one that feels like the more wrong one — narratively it’s of course more satisfying when it comes from the othered side (so, Qunari in Act 2, mages in Act 3).

Also, the nuance that the writers tried to include with numerous mentions of the mental toll of growing up in isolation against your will, the abuse that templars can easily cover up, swift executions — all of that is countered by blood magic and the existence of the Tevinter Imperium, and so again a random player walks away thinking ‘it’s a difficult situation but yes, perhaps there’s just no better solution for the mage problem’. Which is by design, of course, but leads to conclusions like 'ehh Anders only proved the other side right'. There's also of course the disconnect between the Chantry and the templars, the game is careful in painting the Chantry as 'blind to the abuse' rather than as the actual source of it. The Chantry came up with Magi Circles and the Templar Order is its military subdivision, but that can be easily overlooked when the local Grand Cleric was written as completely neutral despite her position of power, and so a major part of the audience reacts strongly to the destruction of a religious building as a parallel to modern real life burning of churches and mosques rather than recognizing the in-game context. Destroying the Chantry meant that Anders sought to change the system itself rather than targeting the symptoms (specific evil templars), and it is a much more powerful symbolical gesture in that way. As somebody who grew up in the faith, in one of those Circles, he is declaring that the Chantry failed him and others like him - he is not an outsider in this situation, no matter his current apostate status... And tbh I've always read Justice/Vengeance as more of an allegory than a straightforward demonic possession, pledging yourself wholly to the cause.

Also I have to mention… So Disco Elysium’s list of inspirations included the novel Germinal which is why I read it, and without spoiling too much I’ve been wondering if DA2 writers were also inspired by it. It’s a story about miners striking against their employers after being driven to it by abject poverty and hunger - everyone in the novel is aware that this strike is, unfortunately, beneficial to the company and so eventually the only available method of further protest is violence… There is an anarchist that reminded me of Anders, a man called Souvarine who has already been through a failed uprising (failed assassination of the russian tsar), who has a soft spot for a pet rabbit and who has a much better understanding of politics & socioeconomics than most other characters. Despite his educated background and delicate physical features, his personal ideology is alarmingly violent in a way that both impresses and scares the main character. He is absolutely not meant to be either ‘good’ or ‘bad’ and the author carefully avoids casting judgement on his actions despite their severity - I am pretty sure that his role in the book is representative of political revolutionary movements as a whole.

I absolutely recommend the book, especially if you liked Disco Elysium or Les Mis (or have been an Anders defender for a while lol), it is less hopeful than either one of them but in a very sympathetic way, sadly still very true to our lives. Best thing I've read in years. But yeah idk ANYWAY, DA2 has way too many mining-related environments for me not to at least consider this might not be a coincidence ahaha, in which case it’s a shame the message of the novel was interpreted through a much more ‘fun fantasy video game both sides are always wrong’ lens.

[possessedopossum]

I love "fugitives together" ending so much. People call Anders romance depressing for very wrong reasons. Like oh, you think chantry explosion was sad? How about Hawke's whole friend group calling his best friend and lover mad for literally the same things Hawke stands for? How about mage Hawke's friends having no problems with templars, the same people, who would gladly imprison Hawke for life or even execute him for apostasy? I think people idealize Kirkwall gang way too much. Varric occasionally drinks with templars and has almost zero principles. Aveline helps templars to arrest apostates. And Fenris...I don't know how much patience a mage needs to listen to "all mages are bad magic itself is bad but you're different" for 6 years. The part where you can kill him in the Gallows for trying to murder you is kinda bruh too. And Isabela doesn't care what side you choose in the end. Isn't it depressing, to know that your friends don't care even one bit about people like you dying and being tortured literally every day? I don't like "fix it" headcanons where Anders warms up to certain companions because why would he? That's, like, the whole point of the game. Playing a mage IS isolating. It WILL make you look unlikable to others if you're vocal enough about the oppression. Because most people tend to ignore all the problems that do not concern them directly and they don't like when the said problems are being pushed into their faces. I can't speak for other players but for my mage Hawke, life in Kirkwall was awful. Like on the level where you think taking your own life is not that bad awful. Anders and Merrill were the only people who didn't make him feel even worse for being a mage. I don't think being fugitive is sad. What saddens me the most, is that only on the run with Anders Hawke realizes that he is finally happy. Because running from authorities is way better than running from your own nature. Its not sad when you and your lover are alone against the whole world. It`s only sad when the unjust world breaks your spirit and you accept it as it is without fighting.