#or to be better at being the other side of anders

[mayhemforlace]

It's crazy remembering Hawke can become Viscount of Kirkwall for a minute. HAWKE.

[felassan]

David Gaider on Fenris, under a cut for length:

"Fenris. Now, DA2 is a story all on its own but I'm not going to go there other than to sum it up as "we had just over a year and a half to make this". It's why I only wrote one follower, Fenris, and although it'll make his fans mad: I probably shouldn't have. Let me explain. The way we'd approach making the followers is brainstorming a list of concepts covering first the array of gameplay classes (and sub-classes) and then making sure they each have some skin in the game when it came to the story's conflicts - ideally having characters on both sides of the major ones. Why? You can't make a player care about the world, but you can make them care about characters who care about the world. It's the easiest way to provide hooks into a conflict, outside of it knocking on the player's door. Heck, it's probably better than that. Players will burn the world for approval. After that, we'd decide things like romances/sexuality. Then the writers would pick who they'd write. I always let my writers pick first. I figured they do their best work when it's something they're inspired to write... and they got so few chances at ownership, I wanted to give it whenever I could It's why I (reluctantly) let Patrick wrest Cole from my grasp in DAI, a character I'd created in Asunder. It's also why I let Jennifer take Anders in DA2, who I'd started in Awakening. In this instance, it meant I was left with the angry elven warrior character who nobody else appeared to want."

"It should have been my first clue that something was up. The second was how the artists had zero clue what to do with him. The art concepts were all over the place - from mages to crows to... well, even weirder. No matter how hard I tried to explain the idea, the artists simply didn't seem to get it Does this mean he was a bad character? Not exactly. Just an idea that probably deserved some re-examining. You can tell when an idea has a certain spark, and part of that is being easy to communicate. Sadly, there wasn't time for any re-examining even if it'd occurred to me. And it didn't, not yet. If it had, if I had time, maybe I'd have re-booted him as a templar. Someone pro-templar rather than anti-mage, who could give a personal hook into Meredith and give the templars some badly-needed humanity. But this falls into the shoulda-woulda-coulda category. I had a follower to write. Quickly. I struggled, at first. It was hard to get away from "Fenris hates everything, all the time". It felt very one-note, and I didn't know where to take him. My third clue, I guess. I also wasn't sure if I was the right person to write a former slave. I did know that couldn't be the center of his story. I did know trauma, however. How it can eat you up. How the hate and resentment is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies. How it can infect your relationships. Fenris's trauma isn't my trauma, obviously, but here I dipped into a more personal part of myself than I'd ever done before."

"It gave me the center of his story I was missing, but wow was it uncomfortable. In a good way, maybe. I likely wouldn't have, if I hadn't been so desperate. In a way, I think DA2 had some of our best writing *because* of the timeline. It was raw, with little time to sand down the interesting parts. I wouldn't have done the "Fenris doesn't talk to you for three years" thing if I'd known we were going to cut all the reactivity initially planned for the time jumps. When that call was made, I campaigned to cut the jumps to a year, but there was no time for the revisions it'd need. So, um. Awkward. I used to get asked where the name came from, and I... don't remember? Obviously it's derived from Fenrir, but I don't recall why we picked that. Someone pointed at Fenris the Feared from Joe Abercrombie's books... and I did read them, so maybe the name lodged in my head? Wouldn't be the first time. Casting Fenris turned out to be easy. He was the first time I requested a specific VA and got him. (The other times were Merrill and then Solas, my two "I want these specific Welsh actors, please".) Why? OK, if you must know, I'd played a bit of Final Fantasy XII. I heard Balthier. "Yes, that." 😅 And Gideon Emery was a delight, as it turned out. Consummate professional, and that lovely gravel in his voice... good god. Bite the knuckles. There was a struggle to find the voice at the outset where I did my best not to say "just pls do Balthier" but he found Fenris on his own and it was amazing. Overall, Fenris turned out better than he had any right to, considering the rocky start. He had a lot of soul, a vulnerability forged by pain that struck a chord with a lot of players, and I'm glad. Do I regret anything? Probably having him live in a corpse-filled mansion that would never update. That's a hindsight thing, though, as again the cut to reactivity over the time jumps came late. Outside of that, maybe letting the player give him back to Danarius? Poor shock value and a waste of resources because almost nobody took the option. Good evil options are ones that are tempting to take. And the lyrium tattoos. Interesting concept, but they're probably why you'll never see Fenris in a future DA. He requires a custom body, and the tattoos make that expensive. It's why I put Fenris in my 4th DA novel - the cancelled one. Don't fret, though. He died in it, so this way he lives on. 😉"

[source thread]

User: "Wait wait how does he die in [the cancelled novel]??" David Gaider: "Gloriously, after taking up a cause he didn't believe in at first but then made his own, one that allowed him to rediscover what it meant to be elven." [source] David Gaider: "I’m not sorry about the novel cancellation. I’m the one who cancelled it. I am kinda sad we couldn’t make it work, though. Considering it was after I left the DA team, it would have been my final DA hurrah." [source] David Gaider: "From my perspective, it was kind of "well if you're never going to use him again, let me at least give him a proper send off" and the story required a glorious death... but I get that's not the story his biggest fans would want (which is Hawke + Fenris 4ever), so it's just as well." [source]

User: "You all did some incredible work with such a tight deadline" David Gaider: "I'm of the opinion that even if we'd had only another six months to bake, DA2 would be remembered as a classic and not either a flawed gem or underbaked sequel, depending on who you ask." [source]

David Gaider: "Just to clarify the "they're probably why you'll never see Fenris" thing, as it's spawned commentary: 1. It's the reasoning as was explained to me back then. 2. Obviously, if Bio *really* wanted to, they'd find a way around it. But it was a complication that meant he couldn't be included casually." [source]

[notebooks-and-laptops]

There's this interesting new rebuttle I've watched become popular regarding criticism of Veilguard. Essentially it boils down to: Dragon Age was never very good at politics, nobody should have expected Veilguard to be any different. And this...is so disingenuous to me it's wild I've now seen it popping up as a dominant narrative. At the very least it's deliberate and ridiculous strawmanning.

When people who critique Veilguard do so because of veilguards politics I dont think this critique is being levelled because they went into DAtV expecting disco elysium 2.0. nor do I think that those same fans were expecting Bioware to overcome their well documented centerism-both-sides-are-valid-but-the-one-who-values-less-change-is-better that has dominated most of their IPs. The way Bioware has historically treated characters who question systematic oppression in Thedas has...not been great. Anders, Sera - hell, even the way that talking darkspawn are almost completely written off after DA:O:A just so they can go back to being a mindless hoard you can kill without guilt.

The difference between DAtV and the first three games in the series is not that DAtV is less progressive/Marxist/revolutionary. It's not the issue that DAtV has bad politics or bad messaging or anything like that. It is that DAtV refuses to engage with politics at all. Id go further and say that if we get to the heart of it, the 'politics' fans are missing is that companions and NPCs in the franchise have always had different views on what's 'right' which Veilguard refuses to give them.

There is such a stark difference between even inquisition and DAtV when it comes to questions of politics. DAtV is uninterested in examining anything at all that might be controversial; it's not just that they don't want to show the reality of slavery or create evil slave owning characters it's that there's barely any reference to slavery in the whole of the game despite the fact that it has been a key theme surrounding Tevinter for the whole of the franchise. It's not just that they don't want to show the reality of the crows or create evil crows it's that the crows are no longer even allowed to be questioned or thought about beyond 'cool faction in cool clothes'. It's not just that they don't want to show the dalish as good or bad it's that they don't want to engage with the dalish and their struggles and beliefs at all.

I mean seriously, think about just a few of the things the other games made you think about:

DAO has a succession crisis with no real 'good' option, a civil war with people on all sides, questions about circle annulment, the castless in orzammar, questions about when have a people been punished 'enough' with the werewolves. It asks you whether a rude and arrogant but ultimately skilled ruler for Orzammar is better than a well meaning ruler who doesn't think things through.

DA2 is all about refugees, about justice and whether such a thing can ever exist, it's about the cycle of violence and slavery is a huge theme both for the current mages held in the gallows and Fenris and the Tevinters.

DAI asks you to think about who is best to rule during a crisis; a military leader who may later push expansionism but would provide a better army against the current unstoppable evil or the safe choice of a empress who may not be as useful to you in the short term. It asks you to think about structures by making you question the organisation you've built and it's own power and corruption. It asks you whether or not a conservative chantry leader who is nevertheless a mage is better than a liberal chantry leader who wants to abolish the circles entirely.

DAtV is constantly asking you to look away from any questions that could be genuinely impactful on a structural scale. In it's worst moments it ignores this entirely - none of the companions can have differing or problematic views or even really disagree with each others worldviews. When it's trying a bit harder it tends to make the issues it wants to explore personal rather than structural. And any time anything that comes up that could be genuinely morally dubious (having to work with the smugglers in dock town for example) it goes out of its way to say ACTUALLY THESE ARE NICE CRIMINALS AND THEY NEVER DO SLAVERY OR SMUGGLE ANYTHING BAD AT ALL. Nobody you work with can be morally dubious or have bad motives; even the treasure hunters and pirates are very unproblematic guys.

And yet, on top of this refusal to engage with any questions that might genuinely get the player thinking or require the player to think about power structures and different views...the game also repeats the same shitty racism that has been apparent in all DA games but perhaps never so openly as this. DAtV is a game that says 'yeah u can be non-binary but you CANNOT be multicultural'. It is a game where the absolute worst of the racist tropes that have plagued the Qun since Gainer called them a 'militant islamic borg' are played up to 100.

So yeah Dragon Age hasn't always had the best politics. I don't think anyone ever expected it to? But it's always been interested in asking questions about politics, about differing views, about what is right and what is wrong. It's always been interested in examining structures and whether or not they're good or useful. It's always been interested in very morally ambiguous or 'grey' characters like Loghain, Blackwall, Anders, Isabela, Zevran, Sten, Oghren, Leliana, Vivienne, Bull-- the list just goes on and on. And DAtV isn't interested in any of this at all.

So yeah. This criticism is weird to me. Wish people would stop using it.

[contessaxchaos]

How Veilguard Handled Themes and Lost its Audience

This is tagged Veilguard-critical. I didn't set out to be critical (ie disparaging) of Veilguard, I set out to be critical (ie analytical) of one crucial aspect of its writing.

I reblogged a post by @meat-louse where I supported their premise ("this warped sense of history veilguard has") by pointing out how Veilguard can actually work to feel more integrated into the Thedas that we know from DAO, DA2, and DAI. Their conclusion is that:

"dragon age’s depictions of social issues were never spot-on, but at their best they encouraged the player to engage with those issues and ultimately seek to change society for the better. veilguard has no interest in changing society."

Here's my observations:

The issue is they want a game that’s simple and streamlined in its messaging. They want it focused on themes like regret and acceptance and teamwork and friendship. They hammered hard those themes, which, while it’s good practice to have strong themes, they overdid it to the point that we’re shouting “I GET IT!!!” They worked on those themes to the exclusion of nuance. To the exclusion of complexity.

Three games have trained us to look at the world and its problems, and look CLOSER because you’re not being told the whole truth. In fact there is no single truth. For every Anders, there’s a Cullen. You have the fearsome Arishok but you also have Sten, and for every hundred Sten who uphold their culture and beliefs unwavering, there’s an Iron Bull who knowingly subjects himself to reeducation in order to continue functioning in his society. And not far from him is an Adaar who is free from the Qun but faces the consequences of banishment and ostracization from their own culture and people. The game doesn’t say which side is right or wrong, you have to experience it for yourself to be able to have an opinion on the matter. My opinions on the Chantry were different when I played a Trevelyan versus as a Lavellan. Cousland has a different experience from a Tabris. That’s the point: your roleplaying changes depending on who you choose to be at the start of the game. The experience changes. The game is not interested in selling you a “correct” moral standpoint; it instead presents you a moral dilemma that unfolds through your questing, but it doesn’t give you an answer. It values a jerk Inquisitor, a stupid Warden, and a bloodthirsty Hawke as much as it values all the sarcastic, diplomatic, and traditionally heroic versions of our player characters.

But in Veilguard…

But in VG, all moral questions have already been resolved for you, either by signposting it, by not allowing you to interrogate these questions as Rook, or by completely ignoring it (no slaves, no tranquils, no alienages, no Circles, no cursed werewolves, no cults). They hyperfocused on their themes that they sacrificed nuance and complexity.

That’s why your companions and Rook only have low-impact conflict. Nothing will drive away your companions because they hold no strong convictions that clash with others. They serve the Themes. We can easily contrast this with companions from the other games: Vivienne gives you a closer look at the value of having Circles and the Chantry. Morrigan counsels expediency over do-gooding. Cassandra is has served all her life on the side of the "oppressors", but she questions the Seekers without letting it break her faith in the Maker. They have convictions. They were built from the ground up to be characters with their own agenda. They weren't built from the ground up to be your support system.

Which is what Veilguard appears to have done with their companions for the most part. I say the most part because there are three people with very clear themes, and Rook doesn't clash with them because their themes were designed to be very personal. The three are Emmrich (im/mortality and legacy); Bellara (something something preservation of the past, although I'm not sure what the point is because preserving the past at the cost of the present is not really very...cogent? Cultural/historical preservation is not exclusive to having a present and a future); and Taash (cultural and gender identity).

Talking to Taash made me reflect on my understanding of what it means to have a body you don’t agree with, perhaps even more than Krem did because with Taash, you can ask them. They will tell you. And that’s because Taash serves the Theme of Identity, both cultural and gender. BUT it’s also overdone to the point where those who don’t understand how it is to be trans feel like they’re being talked down to for not understanding.

What would have worked better is if they sparked the players’ curiosity and genuine interest in trans identity, and then allowed the players to engage with it as deeply or as shallow as they like. Instead everyone gets The Lecture as if we’re all uneducated on the matter. As if there are no allies among us. As if there are no shallow allies among us who are swayed by virtue-signalling. The Theme has swallowed what should be an invitation to talk and be curious and be enlightened.

Regret and sunk cost and redemption are also strong themes in the game. And you know they spent a long time and a lot of effort on that because the Team does a Talk Session after every piece of regret they uncover. Again: they’re made to serve the Theme to the exclusion of nuance and complexity. Yes, they raise good points, asked good questions, engaged with what we all saw. But I will argue that it’s US—the players—who should be having THAT conversation with ourselves or amongst ourselves. The companions should be there to give their point of view as a Mourn Watch, as a Grey Warden, as HARDING. But no—we don’t get that opportunity to absorb the regrets, to interrogate it ourselves based on what we know about Solas in DAI, or just to scratch our heads and say “okay but but but the game is always saying that history is not equal to the Truth and there’s always more to the story, so who can I ask / what other codices can I possibly find to shed more light about this?” Like…nada. You don’t make insights; the game already feeds you all the CORRECT insights so that you don’t ever have to be wrong about the Theme, because the Theme is Redemption or the Cost of Regret.

You don't need to engage your brain anymore because the game has already curated that for you. It has solved for you an equation that the past games would normally leave for you to solve through another playthrough. In DAO, if you only ever play Cousland, you will not grow your understanding of the plight of elves in alienages, or the injustice of the Dwarven caste system. You understand them intellectually because you are a person existing in a society that has poverty and injustice, but it doesn't hit the same until you play in the shoes of a Tabris or a Brosca.

Many of the writers who built Veilguard have been there in the construction of the other Dragon Age games. They were there when Veilguard was still Joplin. What we all wanted, they also clearly wanted to include in the game. They know it's not their role to dictate what players should believe by the end of the game, or to make the team generally harmonious and supportive of Rook. But their views and their skills were not valued.

Anyone who can write can write complexity.

Not everyone who writes can write nuance. That shit takes experience and skill. Writing is not just putting words on paper. This is especially true for massive collaborative writing projects such as videogames.

The writers failed because they were failed by the studio, first.

[thewardenisonthecase]

you know, i remember seeing a post a long time ago that went deep into how sloth might be the like. opposite of justice (if we go with the idea that demons represent the opposite of spirits), because sloth brings complacency and apathy, things that Justice (character) takes an issue with. the whole issue with Elthina is precisely that - in refusing to take sides, she's become complacent and thus, innocent mages are suffering.

now all of this is the contaxt for me to say. Anders and Meredith have some very interesting parallels that kinda make me go crazy.

They're both defined by their devotion to their cause and their perceived duty to it. They are both willing to go to extremes for it - Anders blowing up the Chantry to free the mages and Meredith invoking the annulment as an attempt to end the magic threat.

In fact, putting their cause above everything else causes the deterioment of their relationships with others - there's enough banters in act 3 about how Anders has been kinda doing poorly lately and we all know what anders does to hawke to achieve his goals, and by act 3, not even Elthina is fully on Meredith's side, and many of her templars have turned against her.

They also have the "there's an 'external' factor that is affecting them" that being Justice and the Red Lyrium (obviously. justice is not that external but you know what i mean right, anders didnt use to be this passionate about the overall cause until justice and he speaks plenty of justice's thoughts intermingling with his own. like the whole point is that you cant tell what is anders and what is justice, just how the red lyrium reveal makes it hard to tell how much of what meredith is doing is bc of her own growing paranoia and how much was bc of the red lyrium turning that up to a hundred)

they also have andraste parallels

but the thing that gets to me the most, and its why i gave that context at the beggining. is that Meredith straight up says "apathy brings suffering to the innocent". in those words, im not even paraphrasing. And when I heard that, it reminded me of Anders. Because they're both like. I won't sit around while i see shit happening and innocent people getting hurt. However, the "innocent people" are different in each of their viewpoints. Both are driven by the fact that, someone has to do smthg. Anders blows up the chantry bc mages have suffering for too long and this whole "its better to step back and not take sides" thing is making innocent mages suffer - mages who passed their harrowing and are being made tranquil, mages who keep being beaten up and sexually abused, and the ones with power to stop it do nothing. And Meredith does All That because she believes mages out of control cause harm to people - her sister killed 72 people because she was not trained by the circle, and meredith won't let that happen again, and she won't sit around while kirkwall is in shambles (remember, meredith's big thing is that she truly believes that what she is doing is for the better/for a good cause)

like its just so interesting to me that two characters that are so incredibly different and so opposites to one another have kinda. wild parallels, to the point where there is at least one thing they can agree on - you can't sit around and do nothing, especially not in the face of injustice. but they have different views on what that justice is and who the people suffering are.

[theoncomingchaos]

Who loves Rook: Spite or Lucanis

I've been seeing a lot of discourse about this, and I just want to add my thoughts.

I might be totally wrong about this, but here we go. When Spite was put into Lucanis, he was still Determination. The fact that he changed throughout the torture, forced insertion, and imprisonment suggests to me that they have been put into a speedrun of a similar situation to Anders and Justice/Vengeance where they have started to meld. (As Anders put it, you wouldn't know where one begins and the other ends). Just like Anders and Vengeance, Lucanis and Spite can have separate consciousnesses and even disagree about things, but their core values have started to influence one another and become a part of one another- heightening certain aspects.

I think this melding is why we see some dialogues where Rook tells Lucanis that he sounds like Spite and similarly it's also the reason for the shared attraction- which I fully believe is coming originally from Lucanis.

I'll be honest my first time through I romanced Lucanis and was very disappointed. I didn't even see him and Neve ever flirt (she only ever encouraged us!) But still, it seemed to go from 0 to 60 with him. Now, I am on my second playthrough and I only just met him, but I am starting to see some really subtle looks and dialogues that suggest that Lucanis wasn't lying later when he said he was attracted to Rook from the beginning, but was afraid to really pursue anything or even acknowledge the possibility of being with them. With his fear of trusting people, ptsd from the prison, failed history in romance, and his new situation with Spite that he still hadn't worked out yet, he never thought anything would or could ever come of his feelings. We know Lucanis loves romance stories and likely longs for one of his own, but in such a situation it must have seemed truly impossible and terrifying to let someone else in. Especially someone you really care for and are starting to trust. So, he pushed it all down. Rook flirts? Maybe a small smile, but then quickly lock it all up with everything else he can't handle. Focus on work. Don't think about Spite, or Rook, or anything difficult.

However, if the melding has already happened as I suspect, then the feelings Spite is expressing are shared with (and likely sourced from) Lucanis, he's just better at expressing it directly- which makes sense for a spirit that was once Determination. When you first talk to Lucanis after the rescue, the thing Spite says about Rook changes accordingly to your tone, but to me the responses still sound like they come from Lucanis and are then echoed in Spite: "He doesn't want to hurt us." Even the "He's more fun than you" is something Lucanis seems to think about himself as he is fully aware that much of his life has not been his own and believes "all he knows is death."

Leading back to the main point, Lucanis's trust and interest in Rook would be heightened by Spite the way Anders' anger towards the templars was heightened. Even though they are finally free from the prison, their is a sense of constant suffering from still feeling trapped by fear, regret, and pain- Spite feels that suffering too. The elements of determination are still within him the same way justice is another side to vengeance. Both spite and vengeance are the results of failing to achieve their goals of Justice and Determination. Spite sees Rook as a way to free them from pain and restraint, a glowing and beautiful key to the prison door, and he is determined to do what needs to be done to solve the problem. That's why he doesn't hesitate. He has no fear. He wants to talk to Rook. He wants Rook to come in and free them.

After Rook has freed them, they become a source of comfort and safety, once they encourage Lucanis and Spite to find a way to cohabit comfortably, the two continue to meld, and the need to protect Rook, to love Rook, to keep them, is very deeply shared. Now, IF Spite was somehow removed or even somehow restored (Both of which I think are impossible) that would likely change. Determination outside of Lucanis would likely become more like Compassion. He would likely forget the horrors he experienced to return to his original purpose.

So, that leaves some final questions, particularly one Hawke helpfully asked Anders- Is Spite an unwilling party in the threesome?

That's up to everyone's own morality. While both Spite and Lucanis didn't have a choice to become like this, it is the situation they are in and the way they have to find a way to accept and live with because there really doesn't seem to be any real way to change it. Through their time together, Lucanis and Spite have influenced each other and grown into something new. Part of that is Spite also loving Rook. In that way, for those who are feeling (rightfully) underwhelmed by Lucanis's romance, Spite can almost be seen as a symbolic expression of Lucanis's love.

All that being said, I think there were some small things they could have done to make the romance more satisfying over all...but I'll save that for another post.

[sha-brytols]

@commanderofthegrey that's my opinion about justanders too. anders was already hard on blood mages, but only because he thought they made the Good Mages look bad. keep in mind daa!anders was also an aequitarian; he loses his MIND when wynne says the libertarian mages are trying to campaign to have the circle secede from the chantry, so justice obviously changed a lot of anders' opinions regarding magic by da2.

i also noticed awhile ago in da2 that anders' hangups with blood magic are almost always framed through a lens of demons and not necessarily a rejection of blood magic as a school of study. if i'm being completely real with you i think this is entirely because bioware somehow straight up forgot that blood magic isn't inherently tied to demonic pacts LOL. blood magic in da2 specifically seems to be completely synonymous with demons, which in my opinion lends to the idea that anders' opposition to the practice is rooted in the demonic corruption that it invites.

velanna in my memory doesn't have much of a reaction to justice in the fade, making me believe her opinion on spirits is not too far off from merrill's. we also know she has no qualms getting her hands dirty to achieve her goals (joining the grey wardens so she has that inherent connection to sense seranni with, siding with the architect to save her, etc.), and from that i assume she doesn't hold the same reservations against blood magic as most people in this universe do. comparing her to anders, who already had a very strong opinion of blood magic before he merged with justice, i kind of wonder if maybe all justice does is reinforce an already preexisting belief, just with the added bonus of having a sense of moral superiority to justify those beliefs.

in other words, i feel like blood magic probably wouldn't be a problem for justvelanna in the sense of it being inherently bad. in fact, if we're going with the concept that they're both in this relationship out of a thirst for wisdom* to better serve the greater good, i think blood magic might even be less of an obstacle and more of a healthy curiosity. but, again, the problem would be the influence of demons.

as a tangent, i'm actually kind of curious how blood magic would feel to a spirit that's merged with someone else? unlike regular magic, it doesn't come from the fade. the user's life force—aka, their own literal spirit—is what fuels blood magic, which makes me think that it'd probably be really fucking painful? like. a blood mage is literally draining their own life force away to do a spell, and the sensation is pretty fucking painful to begin with. but what if their life force is derived from the spirit that's bonded to them? just a thought. it might be connected to justanders' very visceral and violent hatred of it.

*on that note. "vengeance" in da2 acts as an extension of anders' rage, because that's how anders processes injustice. anger is exactly what motivates him to rebel. it's why he left the circle, the wardens, etc. that kind of makes me wonder if in this scenario, vengeance is velanna's pride? pride was (arguably) what motivated her to leave the clan in pursuit of revenge - the keeper refused to listen to her, so she decided to take matters in her own hands. i'm not necessarily married to this LOL just brainstorming here.

[dragonageconfessions]

CONFESSION:

The one thing I appreciate about Anders in 2 is the point of contrast he shows with Wynne. Like the first game establishes that demons possessing people is bad and they become monsters. But oh wait, the nice old lady is possessed, and she’s fine, maybe even better! Cool this issue is more complex than we were initially led to believe!

Then along comes Anders, all merged up with a spirit, and this time it’s even a spirit we know and not just a vague entity. Except this time it’s not okay. This time the supernatural entity living inside our companion doesn’t take a back seat and come out when requested if you do a side quest, he comes out when he wants to and sometimes he’s forcibly taking control and killing people he’s theoretically trying to help for *checks notes* being scared of him. They’re in a toxic spiral where both of them reinforce each others anger, creating a feedback loop of righteous indignation and a need to act, damn the consequences. After the first game tells us hey maybe being possessed isn’t so bad, 2 does the opposite and says yup it can be bad even if you did it with essentially pure intentions, doubling down on how complex and issue it can be.

[postcardsfromheapside]

So I finished my DA2 replay, and I had wondered if I would feel differently after taking my time with it, and with the perspective of Veilguard. And yes, in small ways I do, but about the series and about Anders, I don't. That is to say: I think Veilguard is a fucking fantastic capper to the series (I mean, pray there is more, "hope for the best, expect the worst" as the Mel Brooks song goes), and Anders is relatably angry, even if the "betrayal" is frustrating and heart-breaking.

Also, there's just too much Dragon Age just the same way there's too much Tolkien, it's just that I can relisten to Tolkien via audiobook while I work and don't have time to constantly replay Dragon Age to absorb every little detail that my broken brain forgets (and I'm pretty good with lore) and I wish parts of this fandom were more curious than scathing about things they've obviously forgotten. Or skipped through, according to some of them, because I guess the context of dialogue and a cut scene isn't necessary for some of them to weigh in on things.

Word vomit of notes below the break:

First of all.

Can these two just fuck already. Watching Cassandra go from throwing him around to absolutely ENTHRALLED by Varric's complete bullshit is just going to make it so much better when I hit the "Guilty Pleasures" quest again in DA:I. This woman is SEDUCED by his story-telling, and you *cannot* convince me he wasn't gagging on his power trip.

Second.

I never played Mark of the Assassin before, and had completely forgotten Felicia Day was in DA2, and laughed like hell. I really enjoyed it. I haven't really used a stealth option in a game since leaving Skyrim for other stuff (do we ever really leave Skyrim?) and it was really fun, but I think the wyvern at the end of the DLC was actually the best fight in the entire game, even more than Corypheus. It hinted at the dragon battles to come in Veilguard. Also, I loved how Anders' dialogue got more relaxed outside of Kirkwall, like shedding the city let him loosen up. The back and forth with Hawke about his fantasy for being rescued was completely unhinged - after I accused Hawke of being feral and lacking social graces, I've decided the two of them match each other's freak and they're fine.

Third.

All the people who were losing their minds about the line "A crow never abandons a contract" and acting like the devs forgot Zevran.

He literally addresses it in the game. I keep having these moments where shit that people bitched about regarding Veilguard is addressed right *there.*

"The crows do like saying that, but I am living proof it's a lie."

No one actually forgot, but I'm sure the Dellamorte's wish to the Maker a motherfucker could.

When people complain the writing in Veilguard is too modern, I'm going to remember Hawke complaining exactly like this. She sounds like I do when I'm side-eyeing my friends in the year of our Maker 2025.

Fourth.

I had planned on romancing Blackwall this DA:I run, finally, because I'm a little obsessed with this Warden throughline from Anders to Blackwall to Davrin. From a cage, to hope/redemption, to a more meaningful path of positive change and impact.

They both haunt Veilguard's narrative and dialogue.

And then of course:

hrm.

Fifth.

I do hope we get another DA. Or supplementary material. Because I want to know what the fuck is going on with this story I had forgotten the details of, especially with the decision regarding the Nadas Dirthalen.

These two fucking idiots. I can't believe in different lives I've schtupped them both. (I can absolutely believe it)

Sixth.

The worst part of Meredith is she sounds like conservative family members of mine. 'Better to punish the innocent than risk even one guilty person go free', rather than the opposite. To them it sounds so reasonable. To us, it's abhorrent to punish everyone else for other people's crimes.

I couldn't bring myself to feel betrayed by Anders, even though I tried to play my Hawke as I think she would have felt: betrayed by the secret-keeping, if nothing else. The shock and hurt at the innocent lives. But it's hard not to feel an understanding when I sit here in a political situation with - maybe not less fraught, but at least less fantastical - implications and certainly still feel like violence is inevitable and we are way past the point of compromise and words.

Anyway.

This dwarf.

[fromtherift]

(Puts on my communism goggles) I think staunchly pro-anders fans are fascinating because to me at least it shows how to most people revenge is more important than actual progress. People will always want to do what feels good over what is right, because progress often is slow and unsatisfying in the moment.

My main issue with Anders’ action isn’t that he did something extreme, it’s that he did in the wrong place. Why the chantry over the gallows, where the actual templars were and there would be less civilians to hurt? He had Hawke on his side, he could have planned to evacuate people or put some safeguard in place to minimize civilian damages in the gallows, since most of the people in the gallows are not civilians. Blowing up property - especially if the property houses information and shelter for the oppressing party- is good. It’s a great plan. It would have made a much bigger impact and put a lot less mages across Thedas in direct danger if it was the gallows that were destroyed and not a chantry.

But Anders was wrapped up in vengeance (and we can have a whole discussion about how responsible Anders is for the actions of Justice). The point wasn’t to make the world better for mages at that point- the mage-Templar war that ensued did not ensure any kind of rights for mages depending on what you did in inquisition, and many had to die for being made automatically complicit in crimes against Andraste (even if they were believers themselves, that’s just the consequence of BLOWING UP THE CHANTRY), it was to do something extreme to feel like he was doing something just for the mages. Blowing up the chantry made this a statement on religion. It distracted from the actual grievances about the abuse taking place in mage circles.

There is no justice when collateral damage in the form of life is acceptable. That is no way forward, and it will create a lot more problems in the long run than it solves. It creates Martyrs, people who won’t rest until their own versions of feel good revenge is satisfied.

But it did feel real good to see the chantry- at that point housing people sheltering from danger- blow up as a symbol of your hate to the Templar order. It felt real good and that’s all that mattered.

This is great commentary on real world situations where good people - and Anders was a good person, dedicated his whole life to doing right by others and the world around him- get corrupted and twisted and pushed to do things that a younger version of them might never condone. When things get bad enough and no one wants to listen these kinds of actions seem to be the only way forward. The issue, ultimately, is not Anders. It’s not even Kirkwall. It’s fear against magic and a distrust of strangers, both issues that would never be solved or even addressed with terrorism. Anyway. He’s a fascinating character and his writing is really interesting to me

[mageknife]

through your eyes, everything is brighter

(or; the arum hawke possession arc)

chapter 1: i think it's my first sunrise

arum hawke/anders

rating: T

word count: 5211

ao3 link

"There are benevolent spirits that guide spirit healers, and they're often chomping at the bit to help. Spirits of Compassion, especially, but Justice, Faith, Hope… They all have their reasons for lending a hand. If you ask for aid, they'll happily come along to give it."

"And you just… ask?"

(Arum Hawke learns spirit healing. Ten years later, he gets possessed.)

“Where did you learn spirit healing?”

Anders looked up from the bundles of herbs he was sorting. “Hm?”

“Is it taught at the Circles? I would think that the Templars wouldn’t approve.” Arum situated himself on the other side of the table, picking up a small white flower with a long stem and twirling it between his fingers.

“Feverfew,” Anders said. “It’s used to relieve headaches. Separate the leaves and flowers from the stems, and I’ll dry them in a moment. …Ah, I learned it at the Circle, yes. The Templars were never fond of the discipline, but skilled healers are necessary on the battlefield, so there wasn’t much they could do about it.”

Arum began preparing the feverfew as delicately as his unpracticed hands were able. “Is there a reason you chose spirit healing in particular? Just sticking it to the Templars?”

Anders laughed. “That might’ve been my reasoning at the time. I’m not really sure. Mostly, I was just a natural talent at it. But I did have a habit of being a thorn in their side. Speaking of, be careful with the thistle when you get to it—it’s very pokey.”

“And then you kept with it, because of Justice?”

“In part. It’s… Every time I ran from the Circle, I was only thinking of myself. Justice helped me see that I should fight for all mages to have the same freedom I grasped alone. And now, with all the refugees here in Kirkwall…” He sighed, gesturing at the clinic’s occupied cots with the sprig of mint in his hand. “Someone has to help. And I can. So I will. Until they don’t need me anymore.”

“People will always find a way to get sick or injured, especially here. I hope you’re not waiting restlessly for the day you’re no longer needed. You might be waiting a while.” The last of the feverfew stems were tossed into the compost, and Arum slid his neat piles over to Anders. “Here.”

“Thank you, Hawke.” Anders swept the leaves and blossoms toward his side of the table. After he was sure they were arranged adequately, he cast the gentlest of fire spells, hovering his hand over the plants so that the faint wisp of flame could dry them out. “I usually make it into tea, but you can eat the dried leaves on their own. It’s bitter, though. Better with honey and lemon.”

“Is that so? You’ll have to make me some of this tea sometime.” Arum leaned over the table with a smirk.

“Only if you have a headache.”

A loose strand of hair fell from Anders’s ponytail, and Arum found himself white-knuckling the table to keep from tucking it behind his ear. “I’ll just go read one of Varric’s books. I’ll be back with my brain melting out of my ears in no time.”

Anders snorted. “Well, let me know if that works.”

“Right. Um. What should I do with the thistle?”

“Same thing as the feverfew.” The little white flowers were beginning to curl up into themselves and crumble under the fire.

Arum nodded, turning his attention toward the basket of yellow blooms next to the table. The flowers themselves were small, but sharp spines shot out beneath them like sunbursts, their bright red rays a warning to anyone trying to get at the soft center and tear it apart. Don’t touch.

He reached between the thorns and prickly leaves carefully, slowly, and with more pride in his victory against one little flower than was strictly necessary. "Alright! This shouldn't be too difficult."

"Don't get cocky," Anders teased.

Arum grinned, waving the flower at Anders and setting the thorns to the side. "You don't know what you're asking of me."

"Maybe you'll give me a headache. Saves us both the trouble of having to go all the way to Varric's, because I know you keep giving your copies of his books to Aveline." The fire dimmed and faded, and Anders shook out his hands. "Here, actually, why don't I take that over? If you're so intent on having this tea, crush these leaves and flowers up and sort it into sachets for me, a few teaspoons each. The mortar and pestle should be on the second shelf on the back wall. The sachets are the next shelf down."

"Whatever you say, Commander Anders." He set the flower down and went to the far end of the clinic, where shelves and dressers were haphazardly shoved together as a makeshift storage closet. Second shelf on the back wall. "Comm… Comm-Anders? Commander…s…"

Anders let out a yelp of pain across the room.

Arum froze, looking over his shoulder with concern. "Are you alright?"

"Oh, it's just… my headache…" Anders swept the back of his hand across his brow exaggeratedly, groaning like he was on his deathbed. "It hurts! If I hear one more awful joke, I fear my head may explode, and you'll have to clean up the mess of cerebral mush I leave behind."

"You're lucky you're cute," Arum grumbled. He turned back to the storage shelf and focused on locating the mortar and pestle.

"Hm? I didn't catch that," Anders called from where he stood at the table, picking apart thistle plants with far more ease than Arum had.

"I said you're lucky you're a healer," Arum yelled back. He tried not to smile fondly at the bright laugh that earned him.

Hands full of supplies, he went back over to the table to embark on his new task, dutiful medic's assistant that he was. It was nice, spending time with Anders like this. He had been working down at the clinic every afternoon for a few weeks now. Anders had mentioned at the tavern one night that he was overwhelmed with work, Arum offered to help, Anders insisted he'd be fine, and Arum showed up the next day anyway. All of thirty seconds were spent trying to shoo him away before Anders folded and asked him to organize the balms and salves. They worked together quietly, usually. Just instructions and a question or two before Anders scurried off to tend to one patient or another. But today the stream of clients was calmer. Which, of course, meant that the two of them were quite a bit louder.

They had an easy rapport, one that made it feel like the mere months they'd known each other were years. Anders liked to tease him, and he would groan and protest when Arum forced his help upon him—so cruelly, what a villain he was—but the crease in his brow eased up when he had an extra set of hands around. Arum liked when his jokes would make Anders crack a smile; it happened more frequently than the other man would admit, and Arum worked very hard to see it as much as he could.

It was a nice smile. Soft, sweet, with crooked teeth poking through his lips and the left corner of his mouth upturned. Mocking, sometimes, but the light in his eyes gave away his amusement. Never with all his teeth showing. Always like he was fighting it back just a bit. He wondered what it would take for Anders to smile freely.

A few teaspoons each… he hadn't grabbed a teaspoon. Was a handful close enough? He filled one of the sachets near enough to the top that it—

"Grind it up first, Hawke."

Arum blinked, looking down at the sachet in his hands that was full of bent leaves and entire flowers. "Right."

"Maker, you're usually more on top of it than this. Is something on your mind?"

"How does it work, exactly?"

Anders squinted. "The tea? It's an anti-inflammatory, it relaxes the tension in your muscles."

"No, the healing. Calling spirits for help, and all that." Arum pointed at Anders with the pestle in his right hand. "You have Justice now, but… does he do the healing…? What about before? Did you just reach out to any spirit, and you'd have to hope someone answers?"

"Ah." Anders plucked the flower out of a thistle plant, setting it into the careful pile in front of him and discarding the thorns and stem into a bag next to the table with the rest. "It's… complicated. Justice helps me now, but before that… There are benevolent spirits that guide spirit healers, and they're often chomping at the bit to help. Spirits of Compassion, especially, but Justice, Faith, Hope… They all have their reasons for lending a hand. If you ask for aid, they'll happily come along to give it."

"And you just… ask?"

"Any mage can call out to spirits through the Fade. It's like… tugging on a string, manipulating the threads around you, and they'll notice the motion and come toward it. You open yourself up as a conduit, and they use your hands to take those threads of the Fade and stitch up wounds. Of course, they can also heal bruises and welts, slow down bleeding, remedy the sick—to an extent. The more adept spirit healers can even mend broken bones."

"Really? Can you do that?"

Anders shrugged and picked up another plant. "Sometimes. My mana pool has been rather low as of late, what with all the work I've been doing. I have to take breaks and rely more on herbal treatments. It's not easy for me to get the lyrium I need to—shit. Ouch."

Arum tied off the sachet of properly ground feverfew he was holding. "Am I giving you a headache again?"

"No, I—I just cut my thumb on a thorn. Rather hypocritical of me, isn't it? I told you to be careful." He grimaced, and Arum looked at the blood dribbling down the side of his hand. "It's alright, it shouldn't be too hard to fix."

"Wait—let me." Arum set the sachet down and hurried around to the other side of the table to stand next to Anders, the toe of his left boot bumping the heel of Anders's right.

Anders eyed him curiously. "The bandages are in the… left set of drawers, third row, fourth from the left…"

He shook his head and took Anders's bleeding hand in both of his own. "No. Hold on." He furrowed his brow. "Tugging on a string, you said?"

"I did, yes."

"Okay."

Arum closed his eyes. He thought of how he interacted with the Fade when he cast elemental spells, like he'd been doing for fifteen-odd years. With a fireball, he'd call the Fade toward his target, weaving it into an orb, the threads rubbing against each other with enough friction and ferocity that a flame of raw magic would erupt in the waking world. Ice magic was slightly different; he'd make the strands shiver like he did in the cold of dawn, watching a troupe of Templars pass by the Hawkes' farmhouse from the roof of a neighbor's barn, trying to see but not be seen. It was calculated and careful, a bolt of frost shot from his fingertips toward a single adversary. The chill rippled through the Fade like a stone tossed into a pond until it made contact with the Templar on the other end, and that ripple would explode on impact and encase him with ice, freezing him in the middle of his stride.

Tugging on a string or two shouldn't be too difficult.

He squeezed Anders's hand and envisioned pulling the Fade toward him as he did, a firm but gentle motion. Um, hello, spirits. …My name is Arum Hawke, he thought. You haven't heard from me before, but I'd really appreciate a spot of healing here. It's just a small cut. Not that much blood. But I want to help. I want to ease his pain. He carries so much on his shoulders, and if I can make that weight lighter, even just a little bit…

An unfamiliar warmth began to buzz in his fingertips. Delicate, yet insistent. Almost pins and needles, like he'd fallen asleep on his hand, but not uncomfortable. He felt it spread like a rush of blood through the rest of his hand, up his arm, into the depths of his chest, toward his toes. A wave of lightheadedness washed over him. He tightened his grip on Anders's hand, steadying his feet on the ground to keep his balance.

But the buzzing and heat and faintness made him feel floaty, and he scrabbled at Anders's shoulder to keep him from drifting away, like he was lashing a boat to the Kirkwall docks in the middle of a maelstrom and the boat was already halfway out to sea. It wasn't like he could go far in the Darktown sewers if he floated off. There were maybe fifteen feet until he'd hit the ceiling. But if he fell, and he broke his leg, and Anders didn't have enough mana to heal him, and he had to stop helping in the clinic…

"…wke? Hawke? Arum, can you hear me?"

"Huh?"

"Oh, thank the Maker, you're alright. You had me worried there, you know."

"…Huh."

Arum opened his eyes, and he felt the world coming back to him. His left leg was between Anders's knees, left arm clinging to his shoulder for dear life, his forehead buried in the feathers of his coat like he'd been trying to burrow for safety. He was drenched in sweat, uncomfortably hot in his insulated robes that were practically blankets wrapped around him. His right hand had a tense grip on Anders's, still, blunt nails digging into his palm.

It took a moment for him to register that he was wrapped around Anders like a serpent trying to squeeze the life out of him and make him its next meal.

"Shit. Shit. Sorry." He leapt back as if he'd been burned, wiping the sweat from his brow. "I don't… I don't know what happened. I didn't mean to—"

"It's alright, Hawke." Anders smiled gently, cheeks flushed, just a bit of teeth, and flexed his right hand now that it was free of Arum's iron grip. "It gets easier. The first time can be uncomfortable. Startling. But you'll get used to it with time. If you want to pursue this path, that is."

Arum looked down at Anders's hand. "…It worked. It worked?"

"It seemed like a taxing battle, but that thorn was no match for you in the end." He held his hand out so Arum could look at it more closely, and Arum took it, carefully touching the spot where the skin had been broken. No blood, no wound, not even a scar. As if it had never been cut at all. "I also feel… better. Like, I don't know, like I just woke up. I think the knot in my lower back is gone." He furrowed his brow, rubbing at the spot in question. "My shoulders might be looser, too…"

"Are you sure that was my doing?" Arum ran his thumb over the palm and finger-pads callused from staves and scalpels, the knuckles jutting from bony fingers, the thin strands of hair barely visible on pallid skin, all warm under Arum’s sweat-sticky touch. "It wasn't on purpose. I only meant to close that cut. But if it means you'll be in better spirits, I won't complain about having healed you a little extra."

Anders let out a laugh, a knife slashing through the cord of tension between their fingers, eyes squinting shut with the force of the smile that came with it, and Arum would have floated away again were he not anchored to the earth by the hand in his. He noticed a broken tooth on the right side of his mouth, usually hidden behind rose-pink lips, and a small dimple in his left cheek that he knew he would dream about kissing.

"Oh, shut it, you. Don't get a big head. I don't want you passing out trying to fix whatever's wrong with my hip." He gave Arum's hand a squeeze, almost unnoticeable, before slipping out of his grasp.

Arum grinned. "You have a hip problem? Let me check that out for you." He reached toward Anders's waist, giggling as his hand was swatted away. "What, you don't need more help from the newest healer in town?"

"Hawke!" Anders rolled his eyes, but Arum could still see the broken tooth. "What you need is to go home and rest after that. You look exhausted. I need to finish sorting out that feverfew, since you're not going to finish it yourself."

"Wait, no, let me help—"

"You've helped enough, you big lug. Get out of here." Anders flicked him on the nose.

"Hey! Ow!"

"Oh, come on, it didn't hurt that badly."

"Fuck, I think I'm bleeding. If only there were a healer in this clinic who could—"

"Go home, Hawke."

"Alright, alright." Arum stepped back, only realizing how close they'd gotten when he couldn't feel Anders's hot breath on his face anymore. "Don't come crying to me when your hip gives out, old man. I'm going to go… I don't know, cure some dying children or something."

Anders sighed, and it made Arum feel fuzzy. "Whatever. I'll be at the Hanged Man at nightfall. Varric wants to play cards, so there's your chance to get the ego boost you so desperately crave."

Arum turned toward what could ostensibly be called the door and stretched his arms over his head, letting out a yawn he hadn't felt coming. He was exhausted. "You can count on it. I'll kick your ass later, then."

——————————

He didn't remember falling asleep when he got back to Gamlen's house, but he must have been knocked out the moment his head hit the so-called pillow, because he closed his eyes and opened them in the Fade. It was brighter than usual, so much so that he needed to shield his eyes from the… sun? Was it the sun? The light shone from every direction, accompanied by a soft humming, like cicadas and fireflies in the Ferelden marshes, the sounds of a peaceful summer evening when his family could pretend that they were happy.

He felt the light dimming as the scene morphed around him, white light giving way to orange and magenta, the air suddenly thick with moisture. His feet grew damp, toes sunken into grass and mud, and he glanced around; the Hawke house stood in the distance, unblighted and unburned, visible through hanging willows and over the stone wall he wasn't supposed to cross unless his father was following behind him. Instinctively, he looked over his shoulder. He was alone. But he felt safe. No one would harm him here.

"Don't worry," came a singsong voice from in front of him. Arum startled and whipped his head around, nearly slipping in the mud with the force.

Smiling in a small spot of dappled sunlight was what he could only assume was a spirit. It resembled him, almost, though in shades of reddish pink; it was a bit shorter, a bit broader, and its hair was trimmed close to its head. The resemblance, but the lack of tattoos—Malcolm.

"Shit—Maker's breath, don't sneak up on me here," Arum said with a grimace. "Who are you? Why are you him?"

The spirit frowned. "Should I not be? I wanted to make you comfortable. He kept you safe here."

Arum looked at it again and promptly squeezed his eyes shut, unable to hold eye contact with him. It? He wasn't sure. "No. Anyone else. Genuinely, anyone else. Or just… no one? What's your regular form?"

"Hmm… I could be that. But I like being a person!"

"Then pick someone I don't know, or something."

"Okay!" Arum heard a briefly louder buzz, like a gnat flying close to his ear, and he instinctively swatted at it. "No, that was just me, silly. I'm different now!"

Arum opened his eyes. The spirit had taken the appearance of an unfamiliar elven man, light hair tied back in a neat ponytail, draped in elegant robes. He let out the breath he’d been inadvertently holding. "Are there bugs in this… Fade… spirit… memory swamp?"

"Should I get rid of them?"

"Please."

The buzzing in the background suddenly stopped. It left Arum and the spirit standing in an empty silence, blinking back and forth like toads on a log.

"Hi!" the spirit said cheerily.

They stared at each other. The spirit's unnervingly genuine smile didn't budge.

"Can you bring the bugs back?"

"Okay!"

Arum sighed in relief when the buzzing picked up again, trying to relax his shoulders. "So, what's all this about? Usually, when I dream, I just kind of… walk around a bit, cast a few fireballs at old-looking buildings, dwell on things my father said to me ten years ago until I wake up. The spirits don't usually talk to me. Can I help you with something?"

"Yes!" The spirit took a step closer to him. He took a half-step back. "You're Arum Hawke?"

"…I am."

The spirit stepped forward again, grasping Arum's right hand in both of its spectral ones before he could react. The contact was almost electric, but not quite; it was hot, fuzzy, pins and needles against his skin. "You asked for help. And I helped you. I want to keep helping you."

Arum raised his eyebrows. "And you are…?"

"Compassion. One of many such spirits, but Compassion is who I am." The spirit cocked its head to the side, its long ponytail swishing with the movement. "I help a lot. Lots of different people, in different places. I like to see new faces, new parts of the world. It's my favorite! But there's something in your soul, Arum Hawke. A compassion I haven't seen in other mortals. And I want to follow it. If you would let me."

"That's not…" Arum frowned. "I don't know what you mean. I'm not really much kinder than your average person."

"I want to help. I want to ease his pain. He carries so much on his shoulders, and if I can make that weight lighter, even just a little bit…" The voice that came out of Compassion's mouth was Arum's own. Words he hadn't spoken out loud, but he remembered thinking them, his fingers touching Anders's rather than the spirit's. "He only had a small cut, but you saw so much more pain in him. The knot in his back, the tension in his shoulders, the exhaustion from working himself so hard, so much, for so many people. You saw it. Not many of you notice those things in others."

"Well, yes, but Anders is… different. I'm not usually like that."

Compassion tilted its head the other way, pursing its lips in thought. "What makes him different?"

Arum sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Do you want me to get into that? You're a spirit of Compassion, aren't you? Can't you, I don't know, read my feelings?"

"His eyes meet mine, and my heart leaps like a grasshopper. He laughs, a thunderclap in this city’s perpetual storm, and oh, how the thunder shakes my very soul, how the lightning of his touch shocks me to life. He smiles at me, and how many have seen the broken tooth that only shows when it’s real? I want to see it again. I want to keep it for myself, locked in a box, stashed under my bed, to protect it, so the world can't steal it away. He licks his chapped lips, hoping to make them softer. I want to lick them, too. I want to drag my tongue down his—"

"Okay, okay, I get it. Maker's balls. I don't know what I was asking for." Heat rapidly flowed to Arum's cheeks, and elsewhere, which he would really prefer the spirit not to comment on.

"I won't tell anyone," Compassion said with a giggle.

"Andraste's flaming tits, you'd better not. I don't even know how you would."

"I could talk to him, next time he dreams."

"Please don't do that."

"Alright!" Compassion beamed at him, squeezing his hand hard enough to make him flinch. What kind of force was that? Physical? Metaphysical? …It wasn't important.

Arum sighed. "Regardless. I don't even know what I'm doing with this healing thing. And I'm not special. Why do you want to follow me around? Kirkwall isn't very exciting. Tends to be the opposite, really. Unpleasant. You're a nice guy. I wouldn't want it to dampen your… spirit."

Compassion's image shifted, from the elven stranger to an elf he knew all too well. Her eyes met his, perpetually wide, like a halla trying to decide if it should run. Merrill opened her mouth, but she spoke with Arum’s voice. "What if she draws too much? She's careful, but not as careful as she thinks. Her cuts are different sizes and depths. I trust her, but I want to be there if something goes wrong. Something can always go wrong. And if she can't stand on her own in a fight, I have to protect her."

It changed to Isabela, a little bit taller, wearing her ever-confident smile. "She keeps secrets. It worries me. She's hiding something dangerous. I don't want her to get hurt. How dangerous? How much trouble is she in? She turns into a shadow by the docks, disappearing like a frightened cat—or a guilty one. Who would I have to fight to protect her?"

A bit shorter, next, but broader, Fenris's steady gaze set on his. "He's hiding. He's not running anymore, but he's hiding. Danarius could appear in Kirkwall any day. I won't let him take him back. None of us will. His blood will be spilt for the last time in this city. But we've never fought a magister. What tactics does he have? If Fenris's blade isn't enough, I have to protect him."

Taller, again, to Aveline, brow set in determination. "She's grieving, but she won't let herself take the time for it. Always busy, always working away the pain. She throws herself into the Guard so she won't think about the life she lost. She won't lose them like she lost the others. Everything she does is to protect the citizens, protect the Guard, protect Kirkwall. But is anyone going to protect her?"

The hand in his grew thicker, firmer, sheathed in one of Varric's fine leather gloves. "He laughs and jokes, but there's more to it, I can tell. Something in the air between him and Bartrand. This Deep Roads expedition is fishy. What's the motivation behind it? What's really down there? If we find some bloodthirsty ogre or another, can I protect him?"

The spirit shifted once again, and Arum closed his eyes, knowing what would come. "He resents me. He hates that I'm his brother. He wishes it were me, not Bethany. I don't blame him. Father never loved him as much as me, and even that's a low bar. But I made a promise. No matter what, I'm going to protect him."

He felt the hand turn smaller, just a bit wrinkled. He squeezed his eyes shut more tightly. "She can't fight. She's done everything she can to get us here, as safe as we can be in Kirkwall. She deserves better than this. I don't think I can give it to her. I can try, but I'm a mage. I can only do so much. The least I can do is to promise to protect her."

Another shift. A familiar hand in his. Was it Compassion's warmth, or was he imagining it? "What he does puts him at risk for the sake of those who need his help. He's in danger every second of every day. What if he's too worn out and can't defend himself? He can't go back. They'll kill him, or worse. I can't let that happen. I swear, until my last breath, to protect him."

Finally, the buzzing hand released his, as it changed back to its slender form. Arum stayed still for a moment, trying to calm the dizziness that threatened to knock him to his knees. He hadn't noticed how fast his heart had begun to race.

"Do you see, Arum Hawke?" Compassion spoke in its own voice again. "You care for them. More than you realize."

Arum took a slow, deep breath, opening his eyes to look at the spirit. "What's your point?"

"I want to follow you. Watch you care for them. Help you care for them. From here, from the Fade, not from there. You can protect them, as you are. But you are capable of much, much more. Let me show you how."

He looked down at his now-empty hands. He could never quite get the hang of wielding a sword; he tried to learn, so he could have his bases covered, but his fingers struggled to grasp it quite like a staff. He was too clumsy to strike from the shadows; even a drunkard would hear him trying to sneak up behind them and cut their throat. He knew his way around fire and ice well enough. But Compassion was right. There was more he could do. He had always felt that there was more. How well could he really keep them alive with fireballs? What would he do if Anders ran out of mana, if he couldn't heal anymore? Someone had to be there to heal him, too.

"Alright. Fine. You help me keep them safe, and I'll help you… I'm not really sure what you wanted my help with, but I'll do it."

Compassion smiled so widely that Arum was afraid its face would split open. "Excellent! You are so kind, Arum Hawke. Too kind. I thank you for your generosity."

Arum huffed. "Hey, it's not really that big of a—Maker's cock and balls, you're a hugger." He felt the wind being knocked out of him by the buzzing arms that were flung around his torso. The spirit giggled, and Arum rubbed his forehead. He didn't know it was possible to get a headache in a dream, but he wished he could have a cup of that feverfew tea in the Fade, too.

"I can make tea! Would you like some?"

Arum looked at the spirit, its ponytail bobbing as it laughed. The translucent red-pink of its body matched the sunset sky peeking through the trees. A firefly buzzed up to him, landing on his right hand. He didn't swat it away. He took in its droning hum, an irritating noise that brought him a comfort he hadn't realized he missed. After a moment, it flew off, and he watched its blinking light rejoin the cloud of bright dots that zigged and zagged in constellations over the swamp. He dug his toes deeper into the mud. The soggy hems of his pants brushed against his ankles in the breeze.

He laughed. It came from deep in his chest, unexpectedly hoarse, like it was dry and dusty and being used for the first time in a while. He supposed that might have been true. He laughed a lot, but not like this. Not since fireflies and muddy feet and chasing the sunset home.

"Sure, Fade tea. Why not?"

[felassan]

Some snippets from DA dev Luke Barrett on the unofficial BioWare forum, cut for length:

DA:I -

User: "I am still convinced that Bioware cut the healing spells and went with barriers instead because of the Multiplayer." Luke Barrett: I can't speak to any other games directly but I can give a bit of historic context for DAI. The game was initially a more dungeon/linear delving - see how far you can get - experience and there was no barrier of any kind. As a side note: healing has always been a hot topic in design because as soon as you include it there are many other conceits you now need take into consideration for the gameplay - one of which I will call 'the Anders problem'. Anyway, as DAI got the date moved and shifted more into the pseudo-openworld the concept of attrition (see how far you can get before having to return to camp) became less relevant and we needed to help the Players have more moment-to-moment agency around their survival. Unfortunately for various reasons (one of which is the sad reality of designing a game with a shifting timeline) the healing couldn't be re-added so we ended up with more of a mitigation strategy in the barrier system. It went through a lot of iterations but eventually landed on what it shipped with which I would call... acceptable (but just barely). Now, I will concede that a part of the reason it didn't return after that shift was an aversion to holy trinity gameplay specifically for MP but it wasn't the core reason. As a side story, trying to balance the game (as that was my job on DAI - and yes, it could be much better haha) we had to all but force Players to take barrier. It is intentionally the first skill in the first tree for the Mage and all the autolevel (I also handled that) is designed to get it right away." [source]

User: "Merry Christmas Luke! Sooo what was the hardest class you had to balance? [DA:I]" Luke Barrett: "I feel like anyone who was around for the post-launch content will already know the answer to this as it was the bane of my existence when I got put exclusively on MP after launch but the Knight-Enchanter barrier absorbing was a pain. Stuff like that is very challenging to feel good without being broken as they are relative to damage so scaling is fairly open-ended. Too little and the casual players won't get use out of it, too much and the character builders will be wildly OP. We actually had a 'no nerfing' guideline for the SP side so it was a hard battle to fix that silly thing 🙃." [source]

"As a fun fact, I did all the logic for autolevel on DAI and the guideline I was given was literally "make functional builds, but don't make something optimal that you'd play"." [source]

DA:TV -

User: "If you can, say thanks to the people making the no die option possible." Luke Barrett: "Done! My team handles this stuff so I let them know 😊" [source]

"Comically, I designed the majority of the items and skills and I am still finding it fun making awesome builds (been almost entirely doing playthroughs lately" [source]

"Was really important to the team that everyone could play the way that felt best to them." [source]

"Each specialization has a focus around a few specific mechanics, some of which are the weapons or damage types but you can go off script and make it work for sure (this was intentional in the designs)." [source]

"I designed all the skills and so they're each enjoyable to me to some extent. I have been playing through the game over and over the last couple months for balance purposes so I've played them all fairly extensively." [source]

User: "Necrotic sounds like it could be either Spirit or Nature." User: "For Rogue, it replace "poison". For Mage, it replace spirit (Spirit bomb). For Warrior, it's more spirit (especially Reaper), but some skills could work as poison too. So basically they merged spirit and nature." Luke Barrett: "Thats pretty close to spot on. They were actually heavily iterated on throughout development - I can't (at least currently) go into specifics as to why though." [source]

"the target for the progression vision is that you can make a viable build out of almost** any aspect of the gameplay." [source]

"As for timelines, We started DA4 in October of 2015 roughly. The entire team was moved to MEA for about 3-4 months to help it ship and I also spent all of 3 weeks helping out on Anthem. But otherwise I've been on some incarnation of DA4 for about 9 years now - pretty ready for it to release 😅." [source]

"yes, years of working on the same thing can cause some burnout but I've played through the full game probably about 8 times in the last few months and it's still fun (though some of the specific levels that haven't changed in a long time I've done 50+ times easily and I could do without ever seeing them again 😂)." [source]

User: "I do kind of feel that at this point the DA team has put so much work into creating and improving their tools and learning the ins and outs of Frostbite [...] But who knows what the devs in the trenches really feel" Luke Barrett: "I will say it does some things very well and some things poorly, relative to other engines. Personally I really enjoy Frostbite but I've been using it since 2012. In an ideal world, many engines would be viable and developers would make games suited to the strengths of a specific engine." [source]

User: "Since this game is much more stat heavy than prior titles, specifically when it comes to skills and gear, there's likely a need for some balance changes to be made post-launch. Does the game being playable completely offline hinder the data capture side for your team (in terms of analytics), or is this a non-factor?" Luke Barrett: "Generally speaking, most people leave data analytics on so we get more than enough data coming in. Additionally, I'll personally be watching several channels for things that are underperforming (relatively speaking) and not have to nerf anything. The rpg side is vast though and I'm sure people will find OP combinations/synergies that might need 'adjustments' but as long as it's fun and not an "I win" button that trivializes combat I'm pretty cool with it." [source]

Luke Barrett: "I can safely say there are many builds for each class that will feel very powerful if you're not on the highest difficulty 😉. What I'm really excited for is when the guides comes out that show people the fastest way to get some of the uniques that unlock 'special' gameplay 😊. Let's just say I love the feeling of rushing to Patches in DS1 and kicking him off the bridge for the Crescent Axe (iykyk)." [source] User: "Speaking of guides. Will there be a guidebook like there was for DAI? " Luke Barrett: "Not that I'm aware of but I'm happy to help feed info to somewhere like fextralife or the dragon age wiki after a week or so to help with those pursuits. Have to leave some time for exploration and discovery before the optimizers streamline the experience 😉" [source]

"Effectively, at least until the game launches (and likely a week or so after), you won't get anything interesting out of any of the devs save Mike Gamble or John Epler. Longer term I hope to be very active, at least for build mechanics and all the combat/rpg nuts and bolts conversations." [source]

"I started "da4" in October 2015 and so after 9 years of effort (minus 3 months on Andromeda) I'm quite excited for tomorrow and the launch week. I don't know if I'd say nervous, I feel pretty confident in the product, but definitely that eager kid before Christmas feeling 😊" [source]

"As the person who did all the balance, I will say that if you are comprehending how to make a cohesive build and understand the combat mechanics, you should play on Underdog. One of the downsides to having a lot of power growth vectors is the difference between people who engage vs those that don't becomes a chasm quite quickly. If you start blowing enemies up rapidly, turn up the difficulty (or play on nightmare where that will not be the case) - basically if it ever feels super easy or like enemies are health sponges you're probably on the wrong setting for your skill level. The custom difficulty settings are there to make the gameplay enjoyable (for whatever that means to you)." [source]

"As a tip from me, the balance is subtly tipped in the players favor until the last fight of the 3rd combat mission. Be warned if it's feeling too easy you may want to wait until after that to decide." [source]

[on DA MP] Luke Barrett: "It was actually pretty fun but very much not what most people wanted us to make (including internally). Also we had, let's say, limited staff who had a passion and background in MP so it was definitely the right call to go SP only. Now, it would have been nice had we just started that way but so it goes sometimes." [source] User: "You still play it yourself from time to time (DA MP), or have you left it be?" Luke Barrett: "After playing variations of DA4 for so many years (9!!!) it's hard to go back to anything with DAI controls/gameplay speed. Even the initial Joplin prototypes I was doing were much more snappy/twitchy - for everything good about DAI the combat was definitely in the middle of two different styles." [source]

[on aiming bows] "we actually used to have separate buttons for ADS and ranged attack but it was wildly overloading the controller. These RPG games need controllers with at least 2 more buttons (fingers crossed for the next gen)" [source]

User: "After the last few games, I'm really surprised by the current skill... tree?" Luke Barrett: "I call it a skill graph - aside from the beginning where you have 3 choices the entirety of it is 2 choice splits and it'll essentially make a build for you. Just go a little at a time and aim for whatever specialization seems most fun to you 😄" [source]

"Loot is not random so theoretically guides with drop locations should appear pretty soon." [source]

"Yep, Spellblade is the only spec that directly impacts fire damage but you can get benefits from most of them and still go fire. As for the specs, yes it would have been nice to support all of them but just wasn't in scope unfortunately. Mage has Mourn-Watch, Shadow Dragons, and Antivan Crows specializations - only the Rogue has a Veiljumper one. Deathcaller left side you can go beam based and use a Fire weapon. Evoker you'd likely need to do a hybrid ice/fire build." [source]

User: "Bit of a side question, but for those who intend to make more characters, is BioWare considering upping the amount of playable character slots you can have (currently at 3)? Or is there a hardware restriction here given the game is offline playable?" Luke Barrett: "Don't quote me as I don't handle the technical side of this but my understanding is we have to allocate a specific amount of HD space on the consoles so we basically have to pick a limit, relative to our save file sizes, and then divide that by number of careers. I'll inquire if this is something we can increase with an optional download or something but I suspect consoles are stuck that way, unfortunately." [source]

[on Patch 1] "It's been awhile since I actually did the content for this patch so I'd have to check but I have a pretty anti-nerf policy for SP games. I know I fixed up a couple enemies that weren't as hard as they were supposed to be and definitely boosted a bunch of synergistic things though. I'll take a look tomorrow but for those that don't know, the turnaround time on these things is about a month of it's not an emergency due to certification process with consoles. Longer term my goal is to keep an eye in telemetry of any underused abilities and items (or enemies with too many kills under their belt) and audit them just to double check if they need a boost or if people just haven't figured them out yet 😉." [source]

"The equippable items are all predetermined with a minor exception*. Some items are class specific (all the weapons, a small amount of armors and accessories, 2 runes) so when you play a different class you'll see your classes 'version' of that item. Things that are random (from a table/pool) are valuables. Exception: Near the very end of the game we do a few checks on what equipment you haven't acquired. A bunch of those final drops, and inventory on the final merchant, simply find stuff you don't have and give it to you. That's basically the only major RNG we have with loot. If you notice even 99% of the skills and item mods employ an effect after a condition is met X times rather than a more traditional 'proc chance'." [source]

[on modding] "Once this starts to pick up, feel free to PM me if anyone needs help 'finding' assets or has questions about how one might mod something. We don't officially support mods buuuuut we don't have any kind of anti-modding stance either" [source]

"To give the high level gist of the resource economy: - each class starts off with minimal ability usage, this is intentional to force people to learn the other combat mechanics as they're a necessary skill and it's easy to lean on a crutch like ability spam and kiting - abilities are designed to feel powerful on use, thus they all have a decent cost and can't be spammed* - weapon attacks generate your resource - in the bottom right of the center skills area is a node to make each class's resource easier to manage - halfway down all starting segments (N, SW, SE) there is always a node that boosts generation - there are +max nodes on all sides of the skill graph for each class, this is particularly important for the Mage as they start each fight at max - each class can build into being ability focused but starts intentionally rounded - loastly, the first ability is always a resource spender and 1 or 2 of the next available ones will be cooldown gated. It is recommended to have at least one cooldown based ability slotted" [source]

"So loosely the rogue momentum works like this: - each ability costs 50 momentum - hitting enemies generates ~2 momentum per hit (base), you get extra for bow weakpoints - when you are directly hit, you lose 15% of your current momentum, this means the more you hold the more you will lose (this loss has a small cooldown so you don't lose a whole bar when you get hit rapidly) - momentum carries forward between combats (compared to warrior rage which decays when out of combat) If youre having issues, make sure you get that skill in the middle section that reduces momentum loss when hit. As a helpful tip, the Quicken buff generates small amounts of momentum each second so it's a good way to get more if you're having issues." [source]

"I highly recommend using the belt that grants Quicken early game until you can generate momentum faster yourself. And yes, the time dilation affects everything in the world except the Player so all your buffs and things still tick at normal speed" [source]

User: "If I knock an enemy off an edge, if they were supposed to drop something will it appear on the edge, or is it lost for good?" Luke Barrett: "It should appear on the ledge. I will say the 'real' loot from enemy drops are all hand placed. The actual random stuff is just valuables and materials." [source]

" The way it actually works is very complicated with a lot of necessary exceptions but loosely - each ability has a base damage and ones that hit multiple times have an offset multiplier. - That value is multiplied by the sum of all your stat bonuses, conditional bonuses, resist and layer modifiers. - We then subtract enemy defense and multiply by 1-resist (with penetration being calculated here). - this new damage then gets multiplied by 1+crit+weakpointpoint (so those bonuses always feel meaty) and then multiplied by a random number between .95 and 1.05 just to give a little range to the floaties (basically just a presentation thing) - we then multiply again for buffs and debuffs so they, again, always feel meaningful - lastly, we take all added damage and add it flat on top" [source]

"Specific enhancements make enemies immune to the matching affliction. For example, Fire Enchanted enemies are immune to burning. Juggernaut enemies are immune to being staggered but otherwise it should work in everything." [source]

[skadilothbrok]

Given The Chance - Chapter 5

You’d made sure all your weapons were hidden from view as you finally strolled down the path with a casual gait, a stolen basket over your arm. As you reached the first trio of soldiers you made a show of being shocked to see them.

“What’s your business” they called out in German, but you shook your head in a show of not understanding them.

“You speak English?” another of them asked.

“Only little” you gave them your best Dutch accent.

“Why are you here?” one of them men asked in thickly accented English.

“Dock money” you told them “I collect each day for bank” they shared a look before turning back to you.

“Fetch it and be on your way” they instructed you.

You gave them a timid look and made sure to keep your head down as you shuffled past them, heading towards the dockmasters shed. Most of the soldiers were too busy talking amongst themselves as you strolled past them. A few made lewd comments which you simply ignored.

Just as you made it to the doorway, a loud explosion rang out across the other side of the dock. The soldiers instantly sprang into action, rushing towards the noise. Rushing inside the shed, the four soldiers that were readying the MG 42 turned to you confused.

Before they had time to fire off a single round, you pulled a pistol from your basket and shot the closest two dead. The next ran at you and you took care of him with a blade to the throat, blood spraying you as he fell. Indecision between manning the gun or dealing with you made the final man easy enough to kill.

Pushing him out of the way you took his position and took aim down the sight of the gun. A grin spread over your face as you started to take out groups of the Nazi soldiers. Between bursts, you spotted the rest of your team appearing from their hiding positions and dropping bodies.

The door to the shed swung open and an officer rushed towards you with a snarl. Rushing to turn and defend yourself, you cursed at the inconvenient angle you were at. Seconds later the door burst open once more and Anders tackled the officer to the ground. He attacked the man with such aggression that you were left stunned.

Once he was finished, he turned to you covered in blood. If the look on his face was anything to go by, he was watching for your reaction to his show of brutality. “You’re all messy” you rose an eyebrow at him.

“So are you” he gestured to the blood splattered over your own face before closing the distance and pulling you into a fiery kiss. It was all teeth and battling for dominance. You let him win. This time.

When he stepped back from you, you released a long breath “better get back to it” you told him before turning your attention back to shooting down Nazi’s. He left the shed to continue his own spree quickly after, but your heartrate refused to slow back to normal.

Not long after, there wasn’t a single soldier left on the dock. Standing from your position, you picked up the MG 42 before strolling from the shed and heading for the boat. “You taking souvenirs?” Freddy asked with a laugh as you jumped onto the deck.

“It’s too lovely to leave behind” you grinned as you put it down on the deck before moving to help ready the boat to leave. Half an hour later and you were clear off the coast and not a sign of being pursued at all.

“That went well” Gus finally spoke up “good job Y/n” he nodded at you.

“Always happy to kill Nazi’s” you beamed back at him, fully aware that there was still blood covering your face and clothes. A few laughs reached your ears before your eyes landed on Anders across the deck, in a similarly blood covered state.

“Time to go get cleaned up I think” you strolled over to him and tugged at his hand, pulling him after you as you disappeared below deck.

“You’re so perfect for me” Anders quickly moved to touch you more as you made your way to the small bathroom area.

“Is that so” you asked cheekily as you pulled your bloodied top over your head without hesitation, turning to the small sink and grabbing a cloth to wet. You watched Anders pull his own bloody shirt off in the small mirror. He wrapped his body around yours and took the damp cloth from your hand.

Dropping your head back against his shoulder, you sighed deeply as he started to wipe the blood and dirt from your skin. His movements were so gentle, clashing with the rough exterior that he displayed. You enjoyed the attention as you closed your eyes, relaxing into him.

Once the blood was cleaned from your body, he gently turned you around to wipe the splatters from your face. “So perfect” he spoke softly as he wiped the last mark away. You smiled softly before taking the cloth from him and returning the favour of cleaning him.

“You keep saying nice things to me we might have a problem” you spoke as you moved the cloth over his arms.

“Why’s that?” he watched you carefully as you worked.

You considered your answer before voicing it. “I might go and get overly attached to you”.

“That doesn’t sound like a problem to me” he told you as you moved onto his other arm.

“What if I end up wanting to keep you?” you dared as you gently removed the dirt from his skin, moving up to his face only to find him smiling widely at you.

“Then I’m yours to keep” he said it with such sincerity that you felt your own smile widen fully.

“You might regret that” you gently wiped his cheek clean.

“I doubt it” he took the cloth from your hand and threw it back into the sink before pulling you into a kiss more filled with emotion than any of the previous ones.

You hummed against him as you placed a hand on his chest and moved back a little. “Unfortunately, our friends are just up on the deck, and I’ve not known them nearly long enough to put on a show”.

“Damn them” he laughed as he placed another peck on your lips “this is torture”.

“We’ll be back in a couple of days” you reminded yourself as much as him “and then we can lock your bedroom door and throw away the key”.

“Hopefully the days are short” he reluctantly stepped back from you before leading you out of the bathroom to get clean clothes from your bunks. As you pulled out a fresh shirt and threw it over your shoulders, he moved closer to help button it up. Even that small act of care made you feel giddy.

This man was going to be the death of you. But damn you would die happy.

==BONUS ANDERS’ POV==

Every moment that he couldn’t ravish you felt like a physical torture. Every time you entered the same space as him, his blood ran hot. He’d never felt such an attraction to anyone before. The first time he saw you, he thought you were attractive. There were plenty of attractive women around.

But then he’d gotten to know you. And he was a goner.

It was like every interaction he had with you had him tumbling further and further. Seeing you fight had been the final straw. You were going to be his woman. There was no question about it. He’d grovel at your feet if needed.

“You’re absolutely smitten” Gus’ words snapped him out of his thoughts. Dragging his eyes away from you and over to his friend, Anders remained quiet, “you can’t keep your eyes off of her”.

He hummed in response before commenting “you know what Gus, I might just make that woman my wife one day”.

Gus’ eyebrows shot up in surprise before a wide grin took over his face. “I don’t doubt it” he slapped his hand over his shoulder “I don’t doubt it for a second”.

[nethxibis]

Okay, fine, I'll talk about Justice/Vengeance. Some spoiler adjacent things included in this post for veilguard and other DA games.

Anders is convinced he ruined Justice by their joining, and I completely disagree. In the Fade, everything is fluid, changeable, and malleable. We know from DAtV and DAI that spirits can be "twisted against their purpose" and change from their "positive" aspect into their "negative" counterpart. I think there's more to this.

When we meet Mythal in the Crossroads, even though this is her "Retribution" manifestation, we can still impress her enough for her to show her Benevolent side. In my opinion, this hints that changing the states between the "good" and "bad" sides to spirits in dragon age is fluid just like the nature of the Fade itself, and easily done in their home environment. The lines between Determination and Spite, Justice and Vengeance, Wisdom and Pride are extremely blurry, and I think that in the Fade, those aspects can be easily flipped between.

In Crestwood in DAI, we meet a spirit extremely unhappy with the rigidity of the world outside the Fade, with things not bending to their will becoming incredibly frustrating. I am convinced that this rigidity of the waking world is what makes switching states for spirits nearly impossible, almost locking them in either the spirit (good) or demonic (bad) manifestation of their aspect. This rigidity in itself IS what "corrupts" good spirits.

When Justice is first ejected from the Fade, he probably is in his more vengeful state of mind - chased out of his home, with no way back. I believe that the second he crossed over, he became somewhat locked in that partially demonic manifestation. Firstly, his personal quest in DAO is literally to take vengeance on whoever killed Kristoff. This is no Justice. Furthermore, he expresses a wish - normally, spirits should not have wants, yet he asks the Warden Commander for a lyrium ring. Spirits should also not be possessing anybody, that is the domain of demons. When Cole comes over from the Fade in his Compassionate state, he does not possess the body of the original Cole, he makes himself manifest in his image instead. Justice, however, chooses to possess both Kristoff's body and later Anders.

All in all, I believe Anders had little to do with Justice's corruption into Vengeance, Justice was lost to it the second he crossed the veil. Perhaps in time, he may have learned to tune into his more "just" self - like Spite can when he agrees on a plan with Lucanis to save Caterina, which has not an ounce of spite to it, only Determination. But being stuck in a city built on blood magic, in the worst slum of said city, surrounded by everyday injustices and Anders' own need to avenge Karl and other mages, there was no chance for him to learn to cope better in this ugly, rigid world.

DAO Baroness, when I catch you... She ruined my boys :(

[broodwoof]

my queer solas fics:

all of my fic, actually - i always write him as bi and demi. but for ones that lean into some aspect of queer identity explicitly...

The Eclipse - Solas/Elgar'nan smut series set during arlathan, mind the tags!

Haunting - Solas/Varric DAVG: after everything, solas finds himself pursued by a memory.

Rogue, Seeker, and Wolf - Solas/Cassandra/Varric working side by side with cassandra and their inquisitor, they grew the inquisition from a fledgling organization to a great power. in so doing, and in traveling together, the three grew closer. much closer.

Three-Course Meal - Solas/Bianca Davri/Varric solas and varric have found their way into a relationship - but solas knows someone came before him, someone varric still loves. when bianca visits, it only seems right to let them have some private time together. surprisingly, their private time turns out to include solas.

It's Rotten Work (series) | Parody of a Destiny (main chaptered work) - Solas/Male City Elf Inquisitor atros shiral: city elf servant who has been used by shems his whole life feels used by religious shems now and isn't happy about it.

Cyren Lavellan and the Humble Apostate - Solas/Trans Woman Lavellan exploring the beginnings of their relationship while also delving into solas' own gender identity

The Dread Wolf and the Island - Solas/Varric loosely chronological series exploring the development of a largely post-trespasser relationship between these two

Tactics of Intimacy - Solas/The Iron Bull the iron bull approached solas some time ago about a casual sexual relationship. he recognized what solas wanted, what he needed... and he was right. and it worked. today, something is different. something has changed.

Solas' Tea Face and Dorian's Charms - Solas/Dorian this is a lighthearted one that explores the pre-pre-pre relationship of these two, namely the first moment dorian realizes he has a crushhhh.

Two of a Kind - Solas/Cole more of a spirit, but never exclusively one or the other, cole is instead something between. something unique. is it any surprise that it is drawn to someone similarly unique?

Dread Eclipsed - Solas/Varric solas has joined the worlds, but all has not gone as he planned. despondent, he finally stops running, and varric finally catches him... but nothing goes the way solas expected. nothing.

Crossed Paths - Solas/Anders solas and his followers are traveling when they stumble across anders. a delay provides an opportunity for them to get better acquainted.

Strange Tactics - Solas/Blackwall blackwall 'taught' solas several card games, yet loses to him regularly.

Bitter Truths - Solas/Dorian/The Iron Bull examination of a relationship between these three men

Secret Keepers - Solas/The Iron Bull bull knows that solas is keeping secrets, and he knows better than to ask directly. he also recognizes that solas could use some relief. helping the apostate ground himself in the moment and getting to know him better... it's obviously a two birds one stone situation. except that bull begins to find himself a little more involved than he had intended.

Unexpected Attraction - Solas/Oghren another grey warden throws in with the inquisiton, and an idle curiosity hints at being more.

Wolf & Lion - Solas/Cullen solas is surprised when he sees a different side of cullen; the commander is surprised when he sees solas as something more than a mysterious elven apostate.

DADWC Collection, Ch. 6 - Solas/Varric prompt: obfuscate - to muddle; confuse; bewilder banter fic

DADWC Collection, Ch. 10 - Solas/Varric prompt: insouciant - casually or smugly indifferent; nonchalant

[stop-breaking-my-heart-dragonage]

You mentioned you romanced Lucanis, how do you feel about Neve x Lucanis getting together if you don't romance either of them?

It's fine, I guess.

I romanced Davrin on my first playthrough, and I'll be honest, Neve and Lucanis getting together came out of no where for me. After the scene played, I realized that I rarely had them together in my party, and if I had, it'd probably make more sense. Or have more chemistry.

I left that scene like, "...What just happened? Oh well, good for them, I guess, have fun!"

I had Neve in my party a lot [Davrin and Neve were my go-to duo], and Lucanis was unfortunately benched until it was time to do his quests... which is really ironic, like if you had asked me who my least favorite companion was at the end of that first playthrough, it would've been Lucanis.

It doesn't help that I saved Minrathous, so I missed out on some of his personal quests, too.

I didn't dislike him or anything... though learning about Spite did have me throw him off the table of potential love interests because that Anders Romance Trauma [affectionate] kicked in and I said, "noooooo, I'm not doing that again, you cannot make meeee-"

Which, again.... ironic. Because he crawled his way back onto the table and made me feel things. It healed some parts of me. But also did more damage. It's complicated, like being an andersmancer makes it a whole other discussion for another day.

I will say, I saw a lot of talk about Neve and Lucanis prior to doing his romance which made me wonder if it was another Isabela and Fenris "Isabela bad because she USES Fenris if you don't romance him" situation where players are weirdly jealous and take it out on the female character... which uh oh.

Yeah, I can honestly say I never felt "threatened" by Neve while pursuing Lucanis. I brought them out and about several times, waited to see if they'd flirt or anything, or give me a reason to feel that he liked her more than my Rook, and like... It's not just a Neve and Lucanis thing.

It's more to do with Rook feeling like an outsider within the group who isn't allowed to interact with their companions until the game tells them to. Walking around the lighthouse feels really lonely sometimes because you're just approaching your friends, listening to their conversations, and then they look at you like "....can we help you?" and you just... walk away. Also the visual during team meetings where everyone is sitting together with Rook on the other side by themselves with only Assan sitting at their feet...

...again, topic for another day.

Anyway, aside from that? No, I never felt like they crossed a line for me that would make feel like they liked each other better than Rook. If there is banter that does, then I didn't get it.

There was this really sweet banter after I locked his romance in though, the one where Neve commented on Lucanis smiling more and making sure he recognizes that he's happy with Rook. That only endeared me to Neve more than I already was, I adore her.

But if I'm not romancing either of them? Let them have their fun, y'know?