#or they're straight up nightmare fuel

[ajackofthecraftsandamasterofnone]

Sadness

So a while ago I found the absolute cutest Sans crochet plush on this site! It was from an old blog that only had like 2 maybe 5 post...I think. But their Sans plush was exactly how I imagined it in my mind. And you know. I don’t download the pic. I don’t screenshot the post. I DON’T REBLOG THE POST! I do ABSOLUTELY nothing that to help me find that post again. Because of course I do. Because of course.

[justsomeectoplasm]

"Hunger games premise is fascinating and good commentary, though I guess it's popularity made it a little desensitized, the horror is still pretty present in the story. I heard that it has lore though, and they're adapting another game, so let's check it out-"

Me reading poisoned paradise:

[waokevale]

[For the record, WX-78's relationship with Wagstaff portrayed here is strictly PLATONIC and bordering familial. The similarities of their appearances are intentional]

I swear to God if people focus strictly on Woodrow again while trying to ignore Wagstaff's existence—

Ik people hate him and I'm tired of it, he's just a guy, it's not funny when you're doing it for so long. Max, while under the influence of them did a lot of worse things, and while I don't hate him for it, there definitely feels to be a double standard.

Y'know actually, it's kinda hilarious that whenever people come in contact with nightmare fuel or shadow creatures, they turn into the worst versions of themselves; Ie. William becoming Maxwell, inadvertently ruining Charlie's life, getting her killed and starting a kidnapping spree, trying to take someone like Witherstone straight up out of spite and personal grudges.

Willow burning down the Orphanage and seemingly appearing to show no remorse or internal conflict afterwards (whether there were other kids or not– but let's be honest, realistically she wouldn't have been the only kid in there).

Wagstaff genuinely trying to help people (while also taking secret payment from them, because while they are rich, he's seemingly broke, seeing his apartment and junk.) but he still goes out of his way to save their lives, until he stumbles upon the projector which is filled to the brim with nightmare fuel– I think you get the point. You could easily assume that humans getting in contact with this substance tend to become more callous of the others' general well-being.

Aside from that, it's fun to portray how Wagstaff's and Woodrow's relationship used to be. I always thought Woodrow used to highly admire Wagstaff and think of him as a mentor or father figure of sorts, while Wagstaff definitely was impressed with their skills, and who knows, maybe even cared about them somewhat as well.

People tend to villify Wagstaff while making WX appear blameless and an innocent victim, which is strictly false. I LOVE WX, but they are screwed up and evil, that is no act. I wanted to highlight this aspect of them here, they appear to have good intentions, but they don't care about what his needs and wants are here. They're trying to appear noble by wanting to save him from his awful flesh, but in reality, as soon as he begins doubting them and claims their project is hazardous and needs to be nullified, they immediately turn their back on him and attack him. Of course their plan fails and they end up in the Constant, bearing spite and resentment towards him, as well as a lot of internalized contlict. They don't fully hate him, because to an extent, they were the one who took things too far.

In a way, both of them appear to share the trait of : If it doesn't work, get rid of it and start anew, and whilst this mentality mostly applies for organic creatures in WX-78's case, Wagstaff is more double-sided.

No, but I genuinely love this old man and want to explore his lore, why he is as fucked up as he is, because he's a very interesting and fleshed out character!

[kirabasai]

modern tobiizu au where izuna and tobirama are rival e-sport players. they take the competition the most seriously out of the entire league. they are a pr nightmare and definition of toxic competition because they constantly go on twitter and shit on the other. they deliberately fuel fanwars. people call them the physical embodiment of league of legends despite the fact they don't even play league of legends (leaving what game they play ambiguous).

tobirama invents new ways of playing the game and abuses bugs in competions until abusing bugs gets banned because it reached a point where he was discovering exploits faster than the devs could patch them. izuna shits on tobirama for a full twitch stream saying how tobirama needed those bugs to even match him, and he says he hates how he ended up adding a new rule to the league because of how he played. izuna doesn't even play the same as tobirama, its just the principle of the fact he got a whole new rule made.

izuna is really intuitive, he's fast at figuring out new strats and mechanics and enjoys mimicing other ppl's playstyles as a form of psychological warfare. his reaction speed is very fast; "oh, you're ambushing me? lol get rektd." he goes through mouses like his monster energy cans because he just keeps breaking them (they can't handle the stress of his intense playstyle). if he had a mouse that was actually well made, he probably would not have this problem. however, those mouses just don't feel the same as the super specific, dirt cheap $15 mouse he got down at konoha-mart (or so he insists). he has a closet filled with boxes of this mouse for when he inevitably breaks it again.

one of tobiizu's pr nightmares happened like this:

at one point izuna figured out rpf fanfiction existed so he encouraged his fans to write really bad fanfiction of tobirama. why? he wanted to send it to tobirama so he could witness tobirama snap/explode/have a conniption. psychological warfare. this wasn't too bad, actually.

until tobirama publicly tweeted a link to a 100k word slowburn fanfiction he wrote detailing a forbidden love affair between uchiha izuna, professional esport player, and uchiha madara, the retired esport player who is his team's manager and his BROTHER. izuna livestreamed himself screaming for 30 minutes straight. he cried off camera. pr for both teams scrambled as they had to clarify, no this work is not real (because some people are dumb). madara has to announce his engagement for ppl to stop thinking he and his brother r like that. he's not engaged, but the internet scrambling to figure out who his (nonexistent) fiance is makes tobirama's fanfiction fall out of focus so it works out. originally the pr team wanted izuna to come out as straight but he flat out refused because "if everyone thinks i'm straight i'm doomed to not ever have a boyfriend" (he is bi and very dramatic.) he also gets back at tobirama for this eventually with the Hacked Reddit Incident (in which he hacked tobirama's reddit acct and posted various (nonexistent) issues on various subreddits, including AITA. everyone figured out very quickly it wasn't tobirama but that didn't matter to tobi because not only was his pride wounded, those posts will forever be associated with him [because things can still circulate around the internet even after the original post is deleted])

so yeah. i think you can imagine how the fandom space is if tobiizu r pulling stunts like that off extremely frequently. (chaos. its pure chaos.) somebody is probably crying in a corner, somewhere.

at one point somebody likens tobiizu's dynamic to a boy pulling on his crush's pigtails at a playground, except for them it goes both ways and is far more extreme. this spirals into the fandoms splitting into four factions: "omg they're so in love they're adorable like little kittens", "are y'all fucking CRAZY", "im just chilling here can we pls go back to normal", and unaware. tobiizu find out very quickly, and for once don't know what to do. the pr teams are just glad its nothing negative, for once.

(tobiizu are screaming in e/o's dms like this is YOUR fault. no its YOUR fault. they dont realize it but they're acting exactly like how the person who sparked it all said.)

(they'll get there. eventually.)

(somewhere, somebody is wondering "how can two people so smart be so DUMB.")

(finished this post after over a month bcause my pookie @oh-no-its-bird asked me to here u go bestie it's finally here <3)

[gofancyninjaworld]

It started with murder

One of the big differences between the manga and the webcomic is that Tatsumaki and Fubuki seem to have a much nicer relationship in the former.

The reasons for the difference have been staring us in the face, if only we're prepared to actually READ.

The manga starts with a murder. Multiple murders, in fact: Tatsumaki tore apart four members of Tsukoyomi who'd tracked her down when she went to see Fubuki, and their blood splattered all over her and stained Fubuki's room red.

Nightmare fuel.

In contrast, nasty as webcomic Tatsumaki has been, her intention in tossing Fatton and lifting the school was not to kill, but to bully the people bullying Fubuki, to make them feel the same degree of fear and helplessness as they'd inflicted onto her little sister. As best we know, she hasn't killed anyone.

She wanted them sorry, not dead.

And this difference really matters.

As a ten-year-old desperate to reach her sister and protect her as she'd been charged to do, manga!Tatsumaki's horror at being treated as a monster by Fubuki scarred her for life. [Aside: it reminds me a lot of Mob Psycho 100 where a big part of Shigeo pushing down his emotions has stemmed from his horror at accidentally hurting Ritsu when he lost his temper.] Anyway, Tatsumaki has been trying since then to convince Fubuki that whatever else she might be, she *is not a threat to Fubuki*. As we've seen, it has taken Fubuki decades to finally start believing her.

The horror of realising that her sister sees her as a monster.

It's taken Fubuki nearly 20 years to start seeing her sister differently.

Webcomic!Tatsumaki has had to have no such scruples. She may have terrorised her sister, but from Fubuki's perspective she did not cross the line to monstrous until she thought that she'd killed Saitama -- and by that point, the 29-year-old's Tatsumaki's psyche is far more hardened (it also helps that Tatsumaki knows that Saitama wouldn't have been killed by being dropped into a crevasse).

It's only at this point that webcomic Fubuki starts seeing her sister as monstrous.

There's another difference that's just as striking: a sense of personal responsibility. In the manga, Blast charged Tatsumaki with not one, but two directives: not just to refuse to depend on anyone for help but also to protect her little sister. Since Tatsumaki has put Blast on a pedestal rivalled only by that Genos puts Saitama on (well, that's breaking in the webcomic but we're not here to talk about that now), she's taken it as an absolute commandment. She finds it hard to forgive herself for triggering Fubuki's psychic awakening as until then, Fubuki was safe from being targeted by Tsukoyomi. She feels that she has screwed up, that she keeps messing up, and she really wants to change that.

With a child's sense of total responsibility for everything, Tatsumaki has shouldered an impossible burden.

She feels trapped by her actions and really wants to change.

Even though the trigger was incredibly dark and fucked up, since the circumstances of their reuniting have led to Tatsumaki being more gentle with Fubuki in the manga than she otherwise might have been, it has led to some real rewards in that they do actually have an ongoing relationship. A difficult one, particularly once Fubuki became a hero too, but the last arc saw Tatsumaki having to admit that her sister could be a capable hero. They struggle, but there's enough of a bond between them to struggle together.

Hey, at least she didn't go straight for homicide. :)

They're still living, scheming, and fighting together. Because it's worth it.

Webcomic!Tatsumaki feels no responsibility for any of her actions nor sensitivity to Fubuki's feelings. And damn, it shows. They have had an antagonistic relationship short on mutual trust or respect. Since Tatsumaki has no intention of changing, non-contact is the best outcome they can hope for.

To be fair, Tatsumaki has left Fubuki alone since their bust up (with Saitama's intervention).

None of this is hidden. ONE has put work into making sure that each version gives us a cogent set of facts regarding key events in characters' lives. I've not seen people talk about the origins of the differences in the way the versions, and it originates, I'm sorry to say, from people failing to read to learn and rather reading to confirm their prior beliefs.

If I see one more waste of literacy education say that 'Tatsumaki is nicer in the manga because the manga characters have been dumbed down' I'm going to scream.

[lady-lostmind]

And So The Lion Fell In Love With The Lamb

Read on ao3

Rating: E (eventually) | CW: Vampire!Eddie so probably like, blood and stuff.

If this is the afterlife then Eddie Munson is honestly god damn disappointed. Stuck forever in this disgusting wasteland? What a fucking joke. He’s laying on the ground, covered in crusty, caked on blood and with the worst sore throat he’s ever had in his life. The demobats that had been eating away at his flesh are laid out all over the ground. He vaguely remembers them dropping dead around him, right before he dropped dead himself in Dustin’s arms. 

Shit. Dustin. He probably fucked the poor kid up for life. He wonders if there’s any way he can let him know that it wasn’t his fault. Although haunting the kid would probably do more damage than good. Fuck, his throat hurts. Isn’t death supposed to be peaceful? Painless? Why does his throat feel like it’s on fire? 

Eddie pulls himself up, wincing as his hair tugs free of the blood and dirt that has it plastered to the ground. He pats his torso carefully, wondering why, if he can still feel pain here, his wounds aren’t screaming for attention. He lifts his shirt to find nothing but raised, pink skin where there should be gaping holes. He moves his hand up, feeling the side of his neck and cheek where he remembers more searing pain being. He feels the same tight skin as the wounds on his abdomen. At least he’ll look badass in death. 

He looks around and sees a red glow in the distance, back in the direction of his trailer. Not really knowing what else to do, he heads in that direction. As he gets closer he realizes the glow is coming from a giant rip through the world. “ Great. So, basically I died for nothi-” His hands shoot up to pull through his matted hair as he realizes what this means. “Max. Fuck.”  

He didn’t really know her that well. He saw her around the trailer park a lot, always feeding that scrawny dog and riding her skateboard. But he liked Max. She was sassy and didn’t take shit from anyone. The fact that Vecna managed to get her…that she must have ended up just like Chrissy. Eddie closes his eyes and tries to push the image of Max hanging in the air, her limbs snapped and eyes missing, far, far away. He has plenty of nightmare fuel. He doesn’t need any more.

He keeps walking, unsure of what else to do. What are you supposed to fill your time with once you’re dead? He never really thought about what happened after. Was pretty convinced there was no after, if he was honest. Figured it was just lights out, worm food, you’re done. But clearly he was wrong. Clearly there is something after the big dark sleep, because he woke up. 

So, he keeps walking. All the way back to his trailer. To the decimated pile of rubble he once called a home, and stares up into the gate they had climbed through, sees the new rope that tells him they must have made it back. That they must have left him here. Not that he blamed them. He was dead. The fact that he hasn’t run into any of their…ghosts? (Is he a ghost now? He doesn’t feel like a ghost.) It has to be a good thing. That has to mean they're all alive and safe…right?

He stares up at the rope for another second before…”Fuck it.” If he’s going to be stuck somewhere for eternity, it sure as hell isn’t going to be in this shithole. He grabs the rope and hauls himself up, feels the shift in gravity in his stomach as he crosses over to the real world and drops to the grimy mattress below. 

Eddie stands up straight after landing…on his feet. Apparently being dead comes with some perks. He’s not about to complain about being less clumsy. He takes in the dark space around him. The trailer is just as wrecked on this side of the gate as the other. He steps gingerly through a hole in the wall and out into the cool night air. 

“Eddie?” 

Eddie jumps at the sudden sound of his name, at the familiar voice, the same voice he thought would be the last he ever heard. “Henderson. Fuck, am I glad to see you.” 

The breath is knocked out of his lungs as Dustin plows into him, arms flying around him and crushing his middle. He can feel the kid shaking as sobs escape him and he feels a lump form in his throat as he realizes he’s really here. Dustin can see him. Can feel him. So, he’s…alive?

part two

part three

part four

part five

[mychlapci]

I like to think that sometimes ageswap au Prowl gets breastfed nonsexually too. Like it’s definitely a component of high command’s big game to embarrass him now for sure. But also sometimes it’s just nice for him to curl up in a lap and be petted and told how cute and sweet he is, even if it makes him blush a little. He’s never gonna be able to foster that loud-mouthed jerk image ever again. Especially not when he’s crawling into his mentors’ bed after a bad dream so they can hold him between them while he snuggles his plushies and nurses.

There’s absolutely times where Prowl’s spike is rock hard as one of his mentors or sitters teases him for being such a hungry, needy little mechling. But also, Prowl just loves suckling and finds it so calming and soothing. And tough day, nightmare, or traumatic happening can be soothed with nursing. Sideswipe insists he nurses for breakfast just about every day (he was /not/ prepared for how bad overfull breasts feel) and to be honest Prowl is always noticeably grumpier on days he doesn’t get to. Any time he passes through medbay Ratchet will rock him as he nurses until his tank is pleasantly full and Prowl is sleepy and soft in his arms. Kup doesn’t necessarily enjoy nursing him, but it’s nice as an occasional treat or to soothe an upset mechling after a harder day (or scene). And Optimus Prime, of course, will inevitably reveal a gorgeous set of breasts for Prowl to suckle. The nozzles are almost too big for his mouth, which only makes Prowl feel sillier and younger. But Optimus loves to nurse him, literally cannot get enough of it after that first time. He’d keep Prowl in his arms like a sparkling if he could, and Prowl isn’t sure he’d complain.

It just feels good and safe to be surrounded by adoring, indulgent fields as his tanks are getting filled. Prowl finds the repetitive nature of suckling deeply soothing and it shows.

auhhh yes of course, Prowl gets breastfed daily. It doesn't have to be always sexual, he's their favourite little cadet, he deserves to drink the best, most nutritious fuel they can get their hands on, and in war time, that's warm milk straight from the source.

Milk makes Prowl happy, warm breasts under his head soothe him. Sunny and Sides love how calm and soft Prowl becomes when he has a titty in his mouth... Ratchet's grown fond of having Prowl in his lap during boring shifts, letting the cadet nurse. Optimus loves offering his milk to a mechling that needs it. They're all so glad and happy to feed him, and he can feel it <3

[dropouttvpollbrackets]

Most Unhinged Dropout Cast Member Poll Bracket - Round 3!!!

Alright, that's all for round 2, so it's time to move into our quarterfinals! At this point we are down to 8 truly batshit individuals. Still in the running, we have chaotic spouses, Brennan Lee Mulligan and Izzy Roland; absolute masters of both straight-facedness and total madness, Vic Michaelis and Katie Marovitch; DnD players who live to baffle Brennan, Emily Axford and Erika Ishii; and a showdown between both halves of the nightmare fuel that was Total Forgiveness, Grant O'Brien and Ally Beardsley.

But before we move onto this round, some factoids about Round 2:

The poll with the most votes in round 2 was Emily Axford vs. Lou Wilson, with 1273 votes

The contestant who received the most votes was Grant O'Brien, with approximately 913 votes

The most contentious poll was Emily Axford (53%) vs Lou Wilson (47%)

The most unanimous poll was Erika Ishii (93%) vs Raph Chestang (7%)

The winners of this round received, on average, 76% of the votes in their polls

I'm gonna be honest, this is the first round where I'm genuinely stumped on how I'm gonna vote on some of these, so I thought I'd share with you a question I've found myself asking a lot as I think about how to vote, which is: is unhinged behavior a choice for this person, or is it as natural to them (and difficult to stop) as breathing? Follow-up question: Are they always aware when they're being unhinged, or do they regularly do things that would boggle the average mind as though it was the only reasonable thing to do? Just some food for thought. As ever, vote based on whatever criteria happen to float your boat!

Now, let round 3 commence!

[yawnderu]

About the COD fandom. I just came across a fic that was labelled 16+ yet it was explicitly porn! The blog was something like "Coquette" or whatever with no age in their bio. And I swear you can't explain to these kids WHY you have to label shit appropriately because they just don't get it. One has to state it's 18+ because if you brazenly let minors view explicit content, YOU (in general) can get into major shit.

There are too many minors in the fandom. Too many blogs writing and liking fics with no age in their bios. I remember when teens were told to shut the fuck up in fandoms, at least when they tried to encroach on the 18+ side of it. Yes I am old and yelling at the clouds lol

Oh and I've seen "AKCHULLY Price would date an 18-year-old! He would so nah nah! He's not real so I can write what I want!" Write what you want but it's still gross. Especially because they really make a point of bringing up an age gap. there are alarming pedophilic themes in said fics of price fucking/dating 18-year-olds.

"Controversial young reader!" has 11k notes. "DBF Price/Simon/Konig" and the fics are revolting in nature because the reader is heavily implied to be young and very inexperienced and not in an "I have no interest in this shit" kind of way.

TLDR it's like fics are being written by minors, for minors. Just seems that way...

There's a meme w this same format that goes ''I wish all minors a very get off my blog'' but I can't find it bfehbjefbjhfe

YES!! istg it's always the coquette lana del rey stan girlies who are into weirdly pedophilic things. It's even worse when they're actual adults purposely targeting minors with NSFW content, such as saying Price would date a barely legal girl or wait until she turns 18 to date her like... are you insane? fejnfejhbh This man would definitely want someone around his own age OR with at least a fully developed brain. Sure, everyone can write whatever they want, but people can also talk about it when you're making these men straight up predators.

HEAVY on the too many minors in the fandom, TikTok viralized the masked men and now you have minors commenting sexual things on the media of cosplayers or people who simply like tactical gear. Not to mention they RARELY respect a ''MDNI'', saying things like ''oh but I turn 18 in 2 years'' hbfehjbef PLEASE. And I get it, I've been on many different fandoms ever since I was like 11, I understand wanting to interact with creators and their content— but at the very least respect what they ask if they don't want to interact with minors.

That goes to the other point of kids developing parasocial relationships with the VAs. God, the comment section of the VAs is pure nightmare fuel full of kids saying they're gonna marry them one day or straight up commenting weird sexual things to people who are in their 30s. It's WEIRD, especially because it's so painfully obvious the parasocial relationship they develop is fully one-sided 😭 like why are you commenting how much you want to fuck this married 40-year-old man with kids on a post with his WIFE? Not to mention the hate people close to them get, such as Alain's girlfriend.

I have a small series of DBF!Keegan, but I imagine the reader to be at least in her mid-20s rather than an 18-year-old (or even younger, I've seen some DBF stuff making the reader a minor). It's honestly a bit bizarre to see ADULTS making pedophilic/predatory content targeting a young audience bfehbjfewl

[nono-uwu]

Alrigthy, I've calmed down amd the chapter is officially out so

Chapter 134 thoughts

Spoilers duh

•

•

•

- when I said I wanted to see Crowley again THIS ISN'T WHAT I MEANT T-T

- rip man. At least he gets to see Malron and Jose and all his friends again </3

- well now I have plenty of angst to write for my oc's... silver lining i guess :,)

- also Ferid, what is that mouth. Jeebus that is nightmare fuel

- ok, so shikama is really having a bad time, but it's good to see Shinoa embracing her full potential :)

- aaand Ferid backstory. Wowzers. So his whole deal the whole time was to stop reincarnation? And with Crowley being the 440th... what does that mean. Since it's that chain thing again, I wonder if a vampire is killed that way it will completley stop the whole human-vampire-demon cycle. Or it ouright stops reincarnation from happening. So Ferid has succesfully made 440 vampires just stop existing and never reincarnate? Gah

- So we're in endgame now. One of the more important characters died for reals and I expect for more slightly less important important people to be dropping real soon (guren squad maybe? Narumi?? Kureto??? Idfk)

- also Mitsu supporting Shinoa. Nawwww

- Well honestly this might be the best ending for Crowley. Bro has been through enough. I'm still sad though :(

- ok now this bugs me a lot. Ferid just straight up killed Chess and Horn off screen. When exactly though? Since when we saw them they were just kinda left in Sanguiem. Did he just kill them rq without Crowley seeing it? Bc I doubt he would've had the time to slip back and kill them seperatley. (Not even gonna touch on how stupidly misogynistic it is that they were killed off screen after years of radio silence. Sure, they're kinda unimportant and I'd understand if it'll be like that for other not-so-important characters. But istg it still points to Kagami not being able to write women. Oh well. And the mystery of how they even became acquainted with Crowley is just left in the dust. :/)

- "It wasn't half bad." Man. Win for crowferi shippers ig? Not me though. I guess it does makes sense with Crowley's character of just being very apathetic even to the guy who ruined his entire life.

Art wise, Crowely looked surprisingly decent (mostly, miss his fuller hair tho) and Ferid and Shinoa had some nice panels. That's it really.

Otherwise I'm still devastated but at least Crowely got a slightly somewhat okay-ish ending

Nah I'm lying this is me rn:

Edit: I just remembered. WHERE TF IS KRUL????

[overlordofships]

oooo what got u interested in hookfang and snotlout as a ship. im interested to know :0 (if u still ship them haha)

I VERY MUCH DO >:3

Okay so when I was a baby fandom lad and just getting into HTTYD I remember shipping all the riders with their dragons, but back then the fics for that was like. 99% toothcup, 1% toothcup feat. other ships. So I could NOT for the life of me find any other dragon/rider ship fics solely for, say, Fishlegs/Meatlug, and then by extension I just didn't have any fuel for my shipping

Nowadays I'm more competent in making my own fuel. But for shipping any dragon and rider in HTTYD that is not Toothcup you have to watch the series to understand, since the pairings that aren't them don't get a lot of attention in the movies proper (henceforth all of this will be under the cut for how long it is):

First off, I will be talking about canon shippable moments. In the first season, there's an episode where Hookfang has a toothache (it's the one where the forge changes into a dentist, because Gobber doesn't have any reason to make weapons anymore) (sorry I forget episode names). There's a part near the end where big, macho man Snotlout breaks down in TEARS pleading for Hiccup to stop Gobber, outright sobbing the words, "He's gonna kill my dragon!" I remember just rewatching that episode over and over to the point of pissing off my mom and her telling me to watch something else, because it was the BIGGEST piece of non-Toothcup food I'd gotten fed up to that point.

The second season had an episode of Snotlout working Hookfang to the bone, to where Hookfang's flame went out and he got deathly ill. Snotlout CRIED, genuinely cried AGAIN over this (and this time it got called out by Astrid) and when he thought the Fireworm Queen had killed him, he just looked fucking BROKEN, and he even said "You're more than just another sword" (which I think is/was a line in our very small hooklout shipping community used to emphasize their relationship - they see each other not just as weapons to an end, they're more to each other than their strength even if that's what originally drew them to each other as dragon and rider).

Next up - this episode is Netflix-only which is heartbreaking for all you who don't have it. But there's an episode in either the first or second season of Race to the Edge (can't remember) where not only does Snotlout think Hookfang is leaving him (and the twins play it as a fucking love triangle tragedy the whole time) but he straight-up tells Hiccup that if he can't ride Hookfang, he doesn't want to ride a dragon at all.

I reference all of these to say that there's just something special to me about two people (or one person and one dragon) who are normally cold, standoffish and outright cruel to other people, but become absolutely soft and vulnerable when it comes to each other. There's a difference there to me between that and how Hiccup is nice to everyone, but is just a special nice to Toothless. (I am still a very hard Toothcup shipper, don't get me wrong, but Hooklout at this point has firmly overtaken them as my OTP for HTTYD)

All of that said, because we unfortunately cannot see into Hookfang's mind beyond the obvious (he is a dragon and cannot talk - which is ofc a roadblock in one of my fics, but still) one of my favorite things to do is imagine the canon show but with my Shifter-verse, so here are some headcanons for anyone who wants them featuring Shifter!Hookfang and Snotlout:

Hookfang uses Monstrous Nightmare courtship, which involves either submitting himself to someone stronger or making himself seem tougher/stronger. All the times he hurts Snotlout are his unfortunate attempts at flirting. (Related: He also regularly, casually says, "If this goes wrong, I want Snotlout to kill me" and he also thinks that's flirting, too)

In my Shifter AU the episode with the Fireworm Queen turns out differently - he gets to that point because he thinks he's not enough for Snotlout. Maybe a snide comment from Spitelout got him there, or maybe something happened in a battle. Whatever it is, he does it himself - and then, later, when he's better, when Snotlout is all bawling and asking what the hell he was doing, Hookfang says, "I wanted to be good enough to be your dragon." and that would be big since in my Shifter-verse I think that wouldn't be something the dragons would say lightly

Related to number 1, whenever Snotlout does something really impressive strength or intelligence-wise, Hookfang just becomes this gooey, flirty, flustered mess. It's adorable to watch, but very confusing for poor Snotlout

The episode in Race to the Edge where Snotlout has to do all those trials to be Mala's king? Hookfang insists Snotlout do it because he will NOT stand for anyone implying his mate couldn't survive something (and Snotlout plans to turn Mala down afterward anyway)

Incidentally, Hookfang acts like Toothless is the most annoying dragon ever when he talks about Hiccup... But if you let him Hookfang could give rants twice as long and just as sappy, if not sappier

Somehow, despite that, Snotlout WOULD NOT GET IT. He teases the hell out of Hiccup and Toothless, but prior to Hookfang actually using real words to say to Snotlout that he's in love with him, Snotlout would have 0% understanding that Hookfang is into him (that's also a trope I love, btw: two people very-obviously smitten with each other but one of them has absolutely no idea)

Hookfang just casually leaning on/draping himself over Snotlout in his human form, a quiet way of saying to everyone around him "This is mine" (and when they get together Snotlout starts casually sitting in Hookfang's lap)

Related to the above: Remember when I said Hookfang would casually say "If this goes wrong, I want Snotlout to kill me"? After they get together, Snotlout starts returning that phrase with, "Not if you kill me first". All the dragons think it's cute but the humans are just like "....what-"

They're also the most fucking dramatic when they get together. Hookfang sweeps Snotlout into his arms, DIPS him and then presses a big kiss to his lips. Right in front of everyone else. (Compared to Hiccup and Toothless who went out to the cove to confess to each other, and Fishlegs and Meatlug who quietly got together without even noticing)

Basically, what got me into them is imagining these idiotic, self-confident, sappy, oblivious, simpy morons looking at each other and saying "That one" and then somehow taking years to realize their feelings are requited despite them each being the only one the other will truly be vulnerable for

now I leave you with this screencap from the end of the Fireworm Queen episode

[lord-squiggletits]

Wanted to send an ask as well to hopefully provide some distraction from…recent events.

Are there any parts of world building in the TF IDW universe that you wish were explored/expanded upon more? Or that you want to explore in your writing? Like certain aspects of pre-war Cybertron, cybertronian culture, post-war Cybertron, etc?

Okay this is actually perfectly timed for a rant I wanted to go on about the way mnemosurgery is written in IDW1 because I hate how JRO basically made it an ontologically evil field of medicine both intrinsically and in terms of the average person who does it, like

First of all I want to preface this by saying I'm not accusing JRO of having any particular beliefs, this is just my commentary on how things came off and how his writing style contributes to both virtues and flaws in his writing. So I might say "he's basically saying this" but in the sense of "unfortunate implications, accidental or purposeful, in his writing."

But like... it makes me so mad because the worldbuilding around mnemosurgery kind of makes no sense to me? It seems like a really fucking wasted opportunity to cast basically every mnemosurgeon in the continuity as evil and to make it so that even just doing mnemosurgery is basically a toxic, destructive act that will literally kill you? Honestly, I don't think JRO even came up with mnemosurgery as like, "here's a thing that exists in this world and how it works" so much as, he took a character-first approach to writing (as he always does) and wrote mnemosurgery to work whatever way would work best for Chromedome and other character-related conflicts and plot points.

Like, mnemosurgery can view/alter memories from a living person but from a dead person it can only get moments from right before death. Makes sense. Mnemosurgery slowly kills you every time you do it??? Uh... honestly that comes off more as a handwave to make it so that any time the LL needs information they can't just needle it straight out of whoever's mind they need bc of course Chromedome can only do it when it's really important after all. Mnemosurgery... is only ever used for brainwashing people? Like, literally every mnemosurgeon except Chromedome is evil (and cartoonishly so, for Trepan and Sunder, like literally unredeemable monsters in every way) and any time they actually enjoy their field of medicine it's bc they're a sadist that likes to manipulate and oppress people? Kind of... uncreative.

Mnemosurgery is ADDICTIVE?? You're addicted to needling people's brains because mnemosurgery is ontologically evil and then it literally kills you? Okay like... do I even need to explain how tone-deaf it is to incorporate addiction of all things into the worldbuilding here? "You're an addict which makes you dangerous to society. The good ones stop doing the addictive thing because they're morally strong/care about others/aren't hedonists, but the bad ones who only care about doing their drug of choice are evil because the fact that they don't quit shows that they don't care about other people and OF COURSE the main/only fate that awaits addicts is their inevitable death by their own addiction!" Like, we get enough of that shit in real life, JRO. Did you really have to take an already heavily stigmatized condition like ADDICTION and slap it onto your ontologically evil mnemosurgery where the evil ones are evil because they love abusing/manipulating people and don't care enough about dying to stop being addicted to mnemosurgery? Come the fuck on.

Like, I understand that "the science of studying/altering memories" is heavily laden with nightmare fuel as is, and I don't have a problem with that (and stuff like the Institute) because the mind/memories are an intrinsic part of personhood, so any scientific field around it (or any government that wants to sponsor it) will abuse that knowledge just like with any other field of medicine. But to use human examples, why the fuck does mnemosurgery have to be inherently evil? What about stuff like Alzheimer's that degrades ppl's memories to the point of not even remembering a few seconds ago? Wouldn't it be beautiful if mnemosurgery could help with that? What about psychological issues where maybe people with intense PTSD/trauma/etc could have their worst memories be removed/dulled so that they become mentally stable enough for psychiatric/therapeutic interventions to become effective? What if someone has a TBI and wants help recovering the memories they lost?

What about non-scary, non-medicinal applications of mnemosurgery? What if someone just really treasures the memory of a particular day with their best friend and visits a mnemosurgery every couple years so that information creep doesn't slowly alter their memories of that precious day? What if it was possible for mnemosurgeons to intensify memories, so that maybe someone could have a happy memory intensified and think of it any time they're sad, struggling, having mental health struggles, etc? What if mnemosurgeons could take/copy memories from people's brains and convert them to video format in a way that other people could watch it? Imagine the sheer potential present in that when it comes to preserving history through literal firsthand testimonials of what happened! What if a mnemosurgeon could transfer memories from one person to another-- what kinds of breakthroughs in empathy, communication, and understanding others could happen if you could LITERALLY see a conflict from another person's perspective? In those ways, mnemosurgeons would basically be able to act as a hybrid of doctor, psychologist, diplomat, mediator, and archivist all in one!

But no... instead we just got "Mnemosurgery is evil and pretty much only used for brainwashing, 99.8% of all mnemosurgeons are evil creeps, oh by the way it's also addicting and will literally kill you if you do it too much." SMFH.

[rolandtowen]

Chapter Five is here! Steve and Bucky finally reunite for some calming hobby time - read on Ao3 or under the cut!

chapter warnings: reference to Sam & Bucky's conversation from the previous chapter

Steve's heart is pounding as the elevator makes its way to Bucky's floor. It's been over a week since the fight on the Helicarriers, and while Steve's body has healed, his mind is still reeling. 

There'd been a moment of lucidity, Bucky on top of him, hesitating–and then Steve felt the cold of the Potomac consume him. Sam told him, when he regained consciousness the next day, that they'd found the two of them side by side on the shoreline. Bucky had still been conscious, looking like he was standing watch over Steve. Maria Hill had to coax him into the back of a SHIELD van with a promise of water and a blanket in order to get a look at Steve. 

And since then, Steve has been watching Bucky's slow, painful recovery from the other side of a camera feed. Try as he might, he can't get the sound of Bucky screaming while his bones snap out of his head. So on the nights he's lost sleep (every night, really), he's been watching the feed to Bucky's apartment. 

He sees Bucky sleep on the floor every night, clutching a blanket to him. He watches the way Bucky's body changes from curled in on itself to painfully straight when Natasha enters his apartment. He holds back tears when Bucky screams himself awake and quietly asks JARVIS to play the rain sounds while he rocks back and forth on the floor. 

Steve will never understand the seventy-plus years of horror Bucky endured, but he knows PTSD. It'd been Bruce, surprisingly, who'd seen it first in Steve. He'd given Steve the contact for his own therapist after the Battle of New York, and Steve learned he had PTSD, ‘shell-shock’, as he'd known it before the ice. Even after years of therapy, even after meeting Sam, a fellow soldier who gets it, and tries to help as well, Steve still doesn't sleep very well. His nightmares are too real, too vivid. He can feel the ice on his skin, smell the jet fuel, hear the ticking of bombs. 

He's sure it's the same for Bucky, night terrors made all too real by supersoldier senses. Steve wants his best friend back, but most of all he wants to help this guy. Wants to see him sleep through the night for once, see the tension lifted from his shoulders. Even if his Bucky never comes back, there's still a man suffering in front of him, and Steve is determined to do something about it. 

He buys a coloring book. They make those for adults now, he's learned. He grabs it during his record-buying outing with Sam. He sees the words, “The Hobbit”, and grabs it immediately. Bucky had loved that book, had bought it special-order from England with every penny he could scrape together for six months. “People still like this book?” He asks Sam, showing him the cover. 

Sam's eyes light up. “Yeah, man! Actually, they're releasing the last movie based on it later this year. They made a whole trilogy from one book.” Sam helps Steve pick out a box of colored pencils, and on their way to check out, he stops dead in his tracks. “Oh my God, hold on.” He runs to the book section, coming back with a bundle of four books. “The Hobbit had three sequels,” he explains. “These came out after the war. There's movies of these ones too.” 

They spent a lot of Stark's money on books, music, and art supplies that day. All of which Steve has loaded into a duffel bag to bring to Bucky’s apartment. The elevator dings, and Steve steps forward, his heart pounding. Somewhere, on this floor, is Bucky. “Hello?” He calls, trying to contain the waver in his voice. “My name’s Steve, JARVIS let me know I could come visit?”

A mop of brown hair emerges from the puddle of blankets on the couch. “Hello,” comes Bucky’s voice, and damn, it’s rough from sleep and disuse, but it’s still Bucky, through and through. More of Bucky emerges from the blanket puddle, and he looks a bit panicked. “I’m so sorry, I set an alarm, I swear.” Bucky tries to sit up quickly. “Rebecca said it was okay if I wanted to sleep more,” he offers, like a child justifying his actions. 

“That’s alright,” Steve cracks a smile. He's actually overjoyed to see that Bucky feels safe enough to sleep on the couch. “Ain’t in any hurry.” He crosses into the living room, setting down his duffel bag, settling into an armchair next to the couch. He extends a hand instinctually. “My name’s Steve.” 

He regrets it, when he sees the look that crosses Bucky’s face. It’s not fearful, not quite a flinch–but something more akin to dread. “I don’t–I’m sorry,” Bucky looks at Steve’s extended hand. “What do you want me to do?”

Steve blinks. “Oh. It’s a handshake. People do them when meeting new people. You don’t have to shake mine, though, I get it.” It hadn’t taken a Tony Stark level of genius to piece together that something happened during Sam’s first visit with Bucky, not after Sam came back to their apartment with a distant look on his face. Steve had begged him to say something. 

“ Servicing,” Sam had hissed at him. “They assaulted him and called it servicing. ”  

Steve wished Alexander Pierce had died a little slower. Okay, a lot slower. 

He’s surprised, then, as Bucky extends his right hand out to grasp his. He shakes their joined hands jerkily, once, twice, and then releases his grasp. “I don’t have a name,” Bucky murmurs. “But it’s nice to meet you, Steve.” Bucky narrows his eyes at him. “You’re familiar, too.” 

Steve nods, pulling his hand to rest on his thigh, trying to think of anything other than the familiar heat of Bucky seeping into his skin through his jeans. “You were assigned to kill me, before you defected from HYDRA.” Steve cocks his head. “Do you–do you remember? You pulled me from the river, after the Helicarriers went down.”

Bucky looks him over, then makes an aborted moment with his head. Neither a nod or a shake. “It’s–it’s all jumbled. I’m not quite sure what’s real and what’s dreams–and I don’t know what’s recent or what’s past either.” He peers at Steve more closely. “And–the faces. I can't quite…remember the faces.”

“That’s alright, we're going to try and help with that,” Steve assures him, sure that Bucky's describing a symptom related to his brain damage. “I just–wanted to thank you, for that. Haven’t had the opportunity to do it yet.” 

Bucky looks at him like Steve’s grown a second head. “Why are you thanking me? I almost killed you–at least, I think I almost did, but it looks like you’re a tough son of a bitch.”

“Well, that I am,” Steve can’t help but laugh, because Bucky’s Brooklyn accent has slipped in on a few words, fallen through the cracks of the Soldier’s facade, and Steve drinks the syllables in like cold water on a hot day. “But, you didn’t have to fish me out–that’s the bit I’m thanking you for. And I wanted to apologize too,” Steve gestures towards Bucky, “for breaking your arm.”

Bucky looks down at his right arm. “It wasn't that bad. I've had worse.”

That does nothing to assuage Steve's guilt, but he chooses to nod in understanding. “Still. I'm sorry.”

“Did–” Bucky starts. “Did I know you? Before my assignment?”

Steve wants to blurt everything out, but keeps Rebecca’s advice in mind, and toes the line a bit. “What makes you ask?”

Bucky shakes his head, thinking. “On the Helicarriers, you–you called me something, you had given me a name , and it made me wonder–if we’d met before.”

“Yeah, I guess I did,” Steve rubs his palms along his jeans, trying to figure out how much to say. He may as well confirm what Bucky already knows, no sense in hiding that. “We knew each other before HYDRA. Your full name is James Buchanan Barnes. I called you Bucky, or Buck, for short.”

Bucky nods once at his name, stares at his blanket-covered lap, before bringing his eyes to meet Steve’s. “Can I–the name–” He breaks off, flesh hand twisting up in the blankets before finding his voice again. “May I keep the name, please?”

Steve feels like he’s been slapped, because Bucky is asking for permission to keep his own name, and looking scared out of his mind while doing it. He forces his face to stay neutral, warm, and says: “‘Course, Buck. It’s your name.”

***

A name. 

The Sold– Bucky has a name. He’s called Bucky. He even has a nickname, Buck. He likes the way it sounds on Steve’s lips, clipped but soft. Steve’s hands are soft, too. 

Steve gestures to the duffel bag at his feet, asks the–Bucky–if he wants to listen to some music. Music? Bucky nods, having no idea what that means, but wanting to do whatever makes Steve happy. The man who gave him a name. 

Steve shows him how to work a new machine, a turntable, he calls it–and he pulls a large square package out of his duffel bag. Out of this package, Steve pulls a large black disk, a record, and the image of it stirs something deep in Bucky’s mind. He gets a whiff of cigarette smoke, feels warm bodies pressing up against his, but not–not in the bad way. This memory is gentle, this memory is happy . 

The sensations only intensify when Steve hits “play” on the turntable, and the record crackles to life. And it’s–it’s music. Bucky gets a flash of words, all at once–trumpet, piano, Harlem, Duke, foxtrot, orchestra, Cotton Club–and though his memories are jumbled, he knows one thing for certain–he wants the music to continue. He reaches his flesh hand out to the turntable, placing it against the wooden stand, feeling the vibrations travel up his arm and into his body, where it feels like they burrow and nest in his chest. 

“Like it?” Steve asks. “This one’s Duke Ellington. I got a few more I thought you might like,” Steve gestures to a stack of records he’d pulled from his duffel bag. “Sam said music was good for, uh, memory. Thought it might help you–untangle things.”

Bucky nods, slowly, still taking in the sounds and the vibrations coming from the turntable. “That’s–real nice of you.” He takes a deep breath in. “Is this something people enjoy?”

Steve finds the emphasis a bit odd, the way Bucky had said ‘people’, but he shrugs. “I figure so. Never met a person that didn’t like some kind of music. Why you askin’?” 

Bucky looks deep in thought. “Sam told me–everyone’s helping me, just because I’m a person. I’ve got a bet going with him that I’m not–and I’ve been collecting evidence for either side. If I like music, I guess that’s another point in the ‘person’ column.’”

Oh. Oh God. That…explains some things, Steve thinks. It’s not just that Bucky doesn’t remember who he is, he’s not even convinced that he’s a person. “Well, you got a name now, too. Another point in that column.”

Bucky nods at this, finally pulling himself away from the turntable. “I should write that down, before I forget.” He gets his notebook from the kitchen table, and adds two points to the ‘evidence that the Soldier is a person’ column. 

The Soldier enjoys music

The Soldier is called Bucky/Buck

He turns to another page, one he’s titled ‘memories’ and writes down furiously:

Trumpet

Piano

Harlem

Duke (Ellington?)

Foxtrot

Orchestra

Cotton Club

The music has permeated his brain, and he snaps his notebook shut just as the record shifts to a new song, a slower one. He feels a phantom hand at his waist, a chin resting on his shoulder, but he shakes it away. He takes in Steve’s form, sprawled back out on the armchair. “Was–did you have any tasks for me?” He asks, because Natalia had given him tasks, Sam had given him a lesson, and Steve…Steve has only given him music. Expected nothing from him. 

“I mean, my plans are pretty plain, Buck,” Steve sits up a bit more. “I thought, you must be bored out of your mind up here, no hobbies or nothin’.” Steve takes in a breath, lets it out like a sigh. “I used to be a soldier, too, and I damn near lost my mind trying to be a civilian. Must’ve gone through a dozen punching bags in a week, because I didn’t know what else to do with my time.” Steve leans over as he talks, picking up his duffel bag again. “So I got you a bit of everything to try.”

Bucky watches, enraptured, as Steve pulls things out of his duffel bag and places them on the coffee table while listing each item’s benefits. “Coloring book, and pencils, that’s supposed to be calming. Books, nice long fantasies in case you’re really bored. Have you used the TV yet?”

Bucky shakes his head, and so Steve walks him through turning on the big black screen facing the couch, a television, shows him some of his favorite shows, which are mostly about nature and art. “So that’s my plan, basically.” Steve says, after he’s certain he’s fully exhausted his crash course on hobbies. “Thought it might help, just to have someone to hang out with you for a few hours every day, doing something fun. We don’t even have to talk, if you don’t wanna.”

Bucky stares at the pile of items on the coffee table. “And…when do I give these back?” 

Steve’s smile falters just a bit, but he thinks he hides it well. “They’re gifts, Buck. They’re yours to keep.” And Bucky doesn’t know what to say to that, just keeps staring at the kitchen table, because he’s never had his own things, let alone things designed just for pleasure. 

“Thank you, Steve. Could we just–just keep listening to the music, for now?”

“Sure, Buck,” Steve murmurs, taking in the sight of Bucky relaxing into the couch, drumming his fingers softly on his thigh in time to the music. “We got all the time in the world.”

***

Steve stays for his whole two hour time slot, eventually flipping over the record, then changing it altogether to one from Ella Fitzgerald. He'd chosen Duke to start with, because he remembers one night, a few weeks before Bucky got drafted, going to Harlem, to the Cotton Club, and seeing the king of swing live. It had been their last time together, untainted by the war raging across Europe. 

And now, here they are in the future. And Steve can’t help feeling like the war meant…nothing. He hadn’t destroyed HYDRA, far from it–he’d worked for it. For the same organization that had tortured Bucky into compliance. For the same organization that wanted total, absolute power over the world’s population. He’d laid down his life, gone into the ice, and none of it mattered. 

Steve knows he should be making another appointment with his therapist–it’d been kinda hard to get in while a fugitive–but it feels like he’s been pulled in every direction. Bucky needs him, Maria needs him, America needs him. He watches as Bucky tentatively colors a page, one with a dragon in it, and he knows where he’s needed most. He texts his therapist, schedules an appointment for next week, and settles in. He’d brought his own sketchbook, one he’d bought himself, because the Smithsonian still had his original, and he starts to draw. 

They sit in companionable silence until JARVIS speaks softly: “Sam would like to know if he can come for his visit, Soldier.”

Bucky startles (and so does Steve, he still hasn’t quite adjusted to JARVIS), but tells JARVIS Sam can come. Bucky opens his mouth to say something else, then appears to think better of it, closing his mouth, shaking his head, and returning to coloring. 

“What is it?” Steve pries gently. 

“Will–will only you call me Bucky? Am I still the Soldier to everyone else?”

“Oh! No, everyone can call you Bucky, if that’s what you want.” Steve understands immediately. JARVIS hadn’t been updated on his name change yet. “Do you want JARVIS to call you Bucky?” A nod. “What about everyone else?”

Another nod. “I don’t…want to be the Soldier anymore,” Bucky says, curling in on himself, like he’s bracing for a blow. 

“Hey, I’m glad you told me,” Steve assures him, trying to contain his excitement. “You just have to let him know–like this,” Steve offers to demonstrate. “JARVIS?”

“Yes, Captain?” Comes the AI’s soothing voice. 

“Change of protocol: please refer to the Soldier as Bucky now.”

“Very good, Captain. Shall I inform the rest of the team?”

“Yes, JARVIS. Thank you.”

“Of course, Captain. Welcome, Bucky.”

[yupyor]

✦ Night Oaths✦

Summary - It's been 4 years since the whole Ghostface incident with you and your group. 4 years of peace, and vulnerability. Now you and Chad are both romantically committed, and living together. It's about to be Chad's birthday, and for some reason, your brain is hung up on the fact that you almost lost him.

Hurt | Comfort, GN Reader, 2:00 AM Writing, Slight angst?

✦ . 　⁺ 　. ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　. ✦ . 　⁺ 　. ✦.

Labored breaths came out in short, shallow bursts, your pulse gradually heightening as your hazy mind tried processing what had just occurred. It was just a dream, you tried convincing yourself. But the memories lingered. You could still see the blood. The knife. Their mask.

A cold dread coils within you, and you can't help the sudden urge to shift in place and confirm Chad's previous position beside you. He was there, all in his shirtless glory, deep asleep.

A breath of fresh air washes over you, but the feeling of unease doesn't leave. You can't shake the feeling that something is off.

It started with simply just rounding the house and locking the windows—quickly shifting to you going over the door's lock several times and obsessing over whether the 3 you already had on it were enough.

The prequel to how you ended up in your current position on the floor with a drill and two more locks in hand. This was probably going to earn you a scolding from the neighbors and Chad on noise pollution, but it would be worth it if in the end doing so would satiate the overwhelming apprehension within you. Half an hour later, and you're done installing the first lock. The house once again settles into silence, and you feel a sense of relief wash over you.

"Jesus fucking Christ."

Your head snaps in the direction of the voice, your eyes tinted dangerously as you motion the drill out in front of you, putting up your guard. It's Chad, with a sour look on his features.

"You can't be serious. Are you serious?"

"I-" You make to apologize, however Chad's anger fuels him to upstage you.

"It's 2 am, [Y/n]! I know we talked about being productive, but this is just straight up insanity!"

You pout, releasing the tension in your shoulders and putting your arms at rest, setting the drill aside. Silence befalls the two of you, and his anger simmers. It's then that he really notices what you were doing. The new lock on the door, the lingering one on the floor, and the anxious jitteriness to you.

You avert your eyes from him, opting to pick at your fingers and stare at anything but his form before you. Chad sighs, his look dramatically softening.

"I'm sorry." He apologizes, closing the distance between the two of you and settling down on the spot to your right. "You kay?"

His presence sedates the anxious feeling coiling within, though it takes you a while before you're able to stare back at him and reply.

You smile, the action representing the complete opposite of the turmoil in your eyes. "Nightmare..."

Chad inhales deeply, the action causing the blemishing scars on his body to stretch. You can't help but fix your eyes on the way they dance with each of his movements. He notices your gaze, and his expression once again breaks.

"They're gone." He reassures. "We're safe now."

And you try your hardest to believe him, but when has that statement ever been true?

"Every time we settle down thinking that it's over, that we're safe, something-someone new and more dangerous appears to fuck our lives up. They took Mindy, okay! And I can't help but torment myself with the image of them nearly taking you too. I can't- I just can't. "

It was too much. Everything was just adding up to become something beyond that of you capable of handling. You just wanted a break from the past. From the future. You just wanted to live in the present with your boyfriend without having to worry about whether the next night or outing was going to end with him getting stabbed to death.

"Hey, hey." Chad scoots over to you, his hand finding his way to your lower back, comforting you. His voice breaks when he speaks up again, and you can see it in his eyes too, that overwhelming despair. "Were safe. No one is coming for me. And I don't ever plan on leaving you."

"...Promise?"

Your eyes water, and Chad smiles, easing you deeper into his hold before laying his head on top of yours. "Promise."

There's a promise in his eyes—a resolve to his words, and it grounds you.

"This is a bomb birthday surprise, by the way." He jests, bringing a fragile smirk to your face. "Could never be topped."

[bangers2]

Jane Remover - Census Designated (Long review)

i wrote this after reaching 100 followers on aoty. The AOTY version can be found here if u wanna read it on there.

Hey! Thank you all for your support on my reviews thus far. Bangers2 started out as an impulsive Tumblr blog where I'd post a song a day, but that got stale pretty quickly so I ended up on AOTY. And it was scary at first (I once got flamed by like 3 people for making an "I hardly know her" joke...that was nice) but I think in the past couple months I've sort of found a community over here. The album that REALLY got me into music spaces and encouraged me to start sharing my opinions / analyses was this one!

Census Designated (or Census/CD, as I'll probably refer to it throughout this review) has been pivotal to my life since before it came out. I first discovered Jane through her feature on underscores' Wallsocket (an album which I'll probably review in more detail soon), where I instantly fell in love with her vocals. I checked out the title track about a week after it dropped and thought it was so fresh. There was a unique sort of pain to the song which really resonated with me at the time, and I kept it on loop for weeks. I was so damn lonely and depressed from October to like...February, and found a lot of solace in Census, especially "Holding a Leech," my personal SOTY of 2023. For the first time in my life I tried to get mental health support, and this album made communicating my feelings and circumstances a lot easier. It gave a voice to what I'd kept buried all my life.

On the other side of all the shit I went through, I still listen to this album a lot. Sure, it takes me back to some of the worst times in my life, but the genius of the production and songwriting is undeniable. I can’t stop coming back to it, even though it breaks my heart. I truly and genuinely believe that Census Designated is a masterpiece.

Census Designated is the sophomore album by Jane Remover, an artist who got her start making electronic music (Frailty, Dariacore, etc.). However, Census is a straight-up rock album, with loud guitars and harsh walls of noise. The lyrics are just as harsh as the production, with fictional stories of abusive relationships, violence, and a lot of body horror. With that being said, despite how much I love Census, I wouldn’t recommend this album to anybody…unless they’re in the right headspace for it. If you go in expecting “Frailty 2,” you will come out with ear fatigue and a hefty dose of nightmare fuel.

WITH THAT BEING SAID. The harshness of the album - all of its jarring static and blood-curdling screaming - is balanced by incredibly catchy melodies and a lot of introspection. Jane’s vocals are really great - a huge improvement since Frailty and even the venturing tracks. She has an incredibly smooth voice, and I can tell she’s influenced by a lot of pop vocalists like Ariana. I'm a vocal technique nerd. I bet SHE's so lucky to have a voice like that.

Vocals aside, I love the instrumentations on here too! She uses the harsh noise and heavy guitars to further the turmoil in each track. They’re all explosive songs, starting out quite calm and eventually building up to a huge release towards the end. It works out really well; on songs like “Holding a Leech,” you can feel the slight numbness in her voice on the first chorus turn into loud, unimaginable desperation by the end of the song, as she chokes out “how much longer ‘till I’m truly alone?”

ALSO!! The lyrics are SO good. She's said in interviews that none of what she talks about really happened to her, they're just abstractions of feelings she had been having. I think her way of articulating these feelings is so evocative. You can't take anything here at face value, so you really have to Analyze for the lyrics to make sense. Even without reading them over and over, I feel like, for me personally, there was a clear feeling that each line evoked, and it's so cool how open ended so much of it is. My favourite lyrics are on the title track, which is fuelled with so much anger and pain that it's sort of overwhelming. Jane said the song is about the music industry and how it takes advantage of young artists. Despite not relating to that at all, I ~felt~ a lot of what she was saying, and saw myself in a lot of it.

Census Designated feels like a cautionary tale; a story of the absolute worst case scenario. Nightmare after nightmare. Boiling water being poured on hands. Jaws being broken. Cars being crashed. Desperation. Begging for forgiveness. Throwing up. Waking up feeling fine, despite it all. In the absence of the physical pain, there lies a pit in my stomach as I listen to these songs. A sense of uneasiness. A deep, unexplainable sorrow.

This album will not save your life. Not like Nurture or Sweetener or any of those albums where you come out of it feeling like everything will be okay. No, this is an album that is harrowing. So intensely horrifying, that you might start to recognize that something is wrong if you resonate with it. And there's something so important about that. I can't say that Census Designated /saved/ my life; but it did change it. And for that, it's become one of my favourite albums of all time.

...And a 10/10.

Thanks for reading. If you've ever felt like I did, I just want to say that everything will be okay, and this, too, shall pass. You will survive. You will find a way out of it. I believe in you. Keep going.

[kyngyt]

Murder Drone EP 7 Spoilers

ABSOLUTELY SHOCKED, SPEECHLESS

TOO MUCH INFORMATION

It's 3 AM I can't think straight

V is probably not alive :( my hopes are just hopes

So uh. Disassembly Drones sort of caused human genocide, not sure if it was Earth or other planet... At least they were eating them?... I guess they just need any kind of organic matter to exist/cool down, blood or oil or flesh.

Didn't make much SS since I woke up only to watch EP buttt

Very confused by this... Is name being lit up meant that they're "alive"?... There's too much material for theories.

I suppose Yeva is not alive, but not sure....

Very lost about the whole cathedral thing in a flashback, like. Did humans really tried to exorcise Solver??? Wth was happening

And awh Nori and Yeva caring about each other :>

NORIIII AAAA, so that's why you was so called "core" Awh :(

Like Mother Like Daughter

BUT NORI, FINALLY YOU'RE HERE, EVEN IF IT WAS FOR LIKE 15 MINS

Rip Doll, at least we found out what was your goal 😔 poor thing

N CUT OFF TESSA'S HEAD SO EASILY???

THE WHOLE REVEAL OF CEN/TESSA/SOLVER/ WHATEVER THIS AMALGAMATION IS.

IT LOOKS SO GROSS HELL, DRONE(Cyn?) JUST GOT HUMAN SKIN, LIMBS AND FLESH OVER HER METAL BODY?? WHAT THE FUCK, PLASTIC HANDST STICKING OUT OF FLESH ONES, BLOOD DRIPPING FROM WHERE METAL NECK CONNECTS TO SKIN COVERED HEAD??? THE FACE 😨, if it wasn't for style, that's some good nightmare fuel.

So Original Tessa is dead?... But in files she was only missing an arm... I guess it was just made up by Solver to make N believe "Tessa" :(

WHAT J DID AT THE SPIRE, she definitely destroyed the ship, BUT WHY??

DOES SHE KNOW ABOUT SOLVER!TESSA????

KHAN, LIZZY & THAD. YEEESSSS THEY LOOK SO FRICKING COOL, LET'S GOOO

I bet J got flashbacks when she saw rail gun

Uzi threw Nori into the hole and then fell herself. Maybe Nori haven't got killed by solver when amalgamation jumped in. Maybe daughter and mother could have a conversation at least some kind of...

Also

She got thrown to the space? I see moons in the right corner.

It definitely the same part that exploded when core collapsed.

I think I'll go rest now. It will leave me thinking and theorizing for days.