#or they at least haven't gotten back to me yet
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you've been touching him a lot since he got back.
itoshi sae doesn't do anything about it — doesn't dissuade you from tugging at his sleeve or sliding his jacket zipper back and forth while you talk. doesn't comment or bring your attention to it.
but he watches.
you've been around him a lot since his plane landed, making up for all the time he's spent abroad, as if your daily chat threads haven't been enough. most of the time it's just the two of you, the way it used to be. sometimes his brother is around, though thankfully it doesn't seem like you've gotten any closer to rin since sae left.
other times there's a group, mostly your friends, a mix of guys and girls who don't seem to know what to do with themselves around him. sae is used to this — fame brings strange things to light — but you treat him as you always have, except for the touching.
you don't touch anyone else.
it makes him think.
sae has his reasons. he's never let your relationship get past that line, drawn in the sand. he's a professional football player on the other side of the world, and you have a life here. you have friends (even though you still call him your best friend), you have a job (that you complain about all the time), you have family (that can't be bothered to ever congratulate you on anything).
it wouldn't be right — to make you leave. to take you away. not when he needs to focus on being the best in the world.
(he is the best in the world. all those years ago he showed the U-20 team in japan the difference between them, the way the most they could hope for was dating a gravure model. sae never cared about that aspect. he already had you.)
he lets you touch him, but he doesn't touch you back. he keeps you at arm's length — where you're safe.
and then you ask him to be your wingman.
someone else — touching you? kissing you? having you? unthinkable. sae steps out of the shower and barely dries off before pulling on his briefs and pants. steps into his room and there you are, sitting on his bed, looking good, if a little sad.
he considers telling you to get your passport updated and catches the way your eyes trail down his form. maybe this conversation would be easier if he's wearing a shirt — your gaze is too heated, too distracting. you probably think you're being sneaky, hiding your feelings as best as you can, but sae knows you.
and your casual touches are ocean waves washing that line in the sand away.
sae walks towards his closet when it happens again. your finger in his belt loop, stopping him in his tracks. "what?"
"you were ignoring me," you say. "i asked if my outfit is okay."
your outfit is more than okay. "i would have told you to change if it wasn't."
"if you're going to be my wingman, shouldn't you hype me up?" you huff.
sae feels his jaw clench at the reminder. "no," he says, and his tone comes out cold. you don't seem to notice, falling back on his bed and testing every bit of self control in his grasp. "this is a waste of time."
he goes to pull on a shirt before he does something drastic. you're saying something, but it hardly matters when his flight leaves if you'll be on the plane with him. you've covered your eyes with your forearm, so you miss the way he pauses at the foot of the bed, teal eyes drinking in your form splayed out so defenselessly.
sae climbs over you silently, knees nudging yours apart, hands planted on either side of your body. "this is a waste of time," he repeats, watching with amusement as you take in his position. a blush sweeps across your face, but you don't push him off. that's a good sign, at least.
"what, you think i'm not worth being a wingman for?" you ask. silly. you have no idea.
and then you reach for his belt loops again, as if that's a totally normal thing to do and not something that drives him a little nuts every time. sae prides himself on his control, though, so he doesn't lean down to kiss you just yet.
"tell me," sae says, "have you become this touchy with all your friends since i've been gone?"
"n-no?"
it's cute, how wide your eyes get. sae leans down a little closer. feels your breaths on his lips. still doesn't kiss you — yet. "then i won't be your wingman. you don't need one."
"why not?"
do you know how breathless you sound? sae considers his apartment in spain, how he'll need to make sure the bedroom doesn't share any walls with the neighbors. the way you sound is all for him and him alone.
"because you have a boyfriend, now."
(companion piece to this)
#bllk x reader#blue lock x reader#itoshi sae x reader#itoshi sae#fuji writes fic#idk man idk#i wanted to get into his head and idk!!!#lmk if this needs other tag warnings
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#i have so much going on and so much to be anxious over#ive noticed that since i started therapy ive been better about prioritizing things and not getting anxious over everything all at once#at least as much as i used to#like im trying to not get anxious about hypothetical job interviews when i still need to worry about applying#and im trying to handle a few things at a time and not get overwhelmed#but i was really really hoping id get the job i interviewed for on Thursday. and then i could be done with being anxious about jobs#but i didn't#or they at least haven't gotten back to me yet#and now im doing things that i scheduled to be anxious about after the interview#but im thinking about how i need to keep looking for a job too#and i set a time to call another place. but then they said they'd call me back#so i got all worked up about that and then nothing came from it#and i scheduled it so it would be done#but i did my part and its still not done !! and i still have a future phone call to be anxious about!!#i had a few things scheduled for today. and after the last one i was supposed to be able to relax#well. i just did the last one.#but now im waiting on a call back.#i wish i had gotten that job just so i wouldn't have to deal with this anymore
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(ooc)
Fellas. What if I just. Replied to shit completely out of order? How would we feel abt that?
(I'm still having blockage of the writer's variety... but I want to try to respond to things. So badly. But also my inherent desire to be as chronological as possible...... sgchdhhdjcshdj)
#i want you to picture me laying face down on the floor rn. that's my mood.#actually picture that one panel of kim face down on the bed#that's me.#I have been drawing and maybe doing a little Voice Work in this time I just haven't gotten anything to a complete enough state to share imo#i suppose I do have more emotes I've done? based on comic panels and an spto screenshot...#but i was gonna do another scott one before i posted those and i just haven't circled back yet#which btw! if anyone wants me to take a crack at emotifying a panel or screenshot. send it in! I'll give it a shot#working on those can be pretty chill honestly#ANYWAY. back to the post at hand. idk. if people are cool w it dont expect immediate answers or anything? but yeah#ooc#txt#oh at least 2 of these asks are getting art responses btw. 100%. i just need to remember to do that... after this roxie sheet......
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So seriously: if you have a serious recoil/disgust factor at uncommonly eaten parts of an animal being in any kind of food context (eg: whole fish being served at a table) and you want to work on minimizing that reaction, I really really recommend eating "normal" versions of those unusual foods, like for example deli-sliced tongue. I know I'm talking out of my ass here, but things like liver and haggis (organ meat), tongue (tongue), and probably a whole lot of others I've never had can be pretty easily made into forms that taste real good and don't look much like a weird lump of flesh you can recognize, and being able to get from "that's weird and gross but I want to get it" to "that's weird but it tastes really good and I want to get it" will probably make building up momentum easier when you move on to less "common" pastures.
Good luck, by the way. I believe in you.
#red rambles#i'm doing this with bugs for the record im not like JUST talking out my ass. I have a full on phobia of dead bugs#I can and have eaten live bugs! I've eaten and really enjoyed cricket-flour chips! I'm working my way up to "whole preserved scorpion in#chocolate'' type desserts but I haven't gotten there yet#so I know for a fact that there's a kind of person who has this sort of instinctive repulsion and also really really REALLY wants to get#over it. and also i didn't even realize this was a thing because i grew up with whitefish and tongue and so on#anyway im not sure if people like. KNOW that you can get like... liver *spread* or prepared tongue or brain or w/e#being able to go 'oh that is actually delicious' is a big thing or at least it is for me! it's very motivating!#you're the only one who is going to really 'push' you on these things- god knows my immediate family and friends mostly wants me to#STOP trying to eat bugs LMFAO (this is due to my behaviors but also like my dad told me I was not to keep cricket snacks in the house)#(so it's a bit of both but mostly because i cannot be trusted not to just eat a random ant because they are delicious these days)#but like at least in my experience the second you step out of the 'culturally normative' fold people stop being like 'yay stop being picky!#and start going 'no stop go back to being picky' so it's really really important to find your own motivators and not rely on other people
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Heyoo^^
Just wanted to let you know I absolutely LOVE your Nicki-finds-Armand-after-his-suicide-attempt AU. Their interactions are hilariously macabre and your Nicki voice is one of the best I have ever red. Yeah, just wanted you to know:)
Thank you so much for saying so!
Nicolas was one of the characters that I very much latched onto when I very first read the books - in fact, Lestat/Nicki was my first ship before I read QOTD and I always found the lack of utilisation of him in fandom really disheartening. I even got my hopes up when Lestat couldn't find him in Memnoch but so sad that he's one of the only constants to remain dead. I understand that's part of the tragedy of him, but I guess I thought if the others from the era get their shot at a life after, he ought to as well.
Trying to balance Nicki's difficulties - Lestat saying joy was hard for him is such a sucker punch because of how frequently in TVL Lestat draws lines between Nicki running his mouth or making a show compared to genuine feeling and how he can see the difference in his face - while showing that I suspect some of the worst of his early vampire mania came from the absolute trauma conga line that preceeded his being made into one is not the easiest, but I hope I'm managing.
I think once he got past his own sense of betrayal and managed to settle himself with the trauma if not deal with it, it wouldn't be all that different to Armand which makes their interactions fascinating to me. They are both dealing with a percieved sense of betrayal and their world view being thrust upside down at the same time and I think Armand did the best he could given the state he was in, but they deserved a chance to rebuild. Especially given Nicki's known for being acerbic and not holding back when I think Armand needs a sense of harshness because the softness, the pity, the compassion of the others is just not something he can deal with at that point. He's too raw.
I do have parts of the next bit written but I want to get it right because Nicki meeting Louis has been something I've wanted to do a for a long time.
This is also a reminder that I really need to give that AU a name now there's a few things in it.
#i think there is something of a nicki and armand parallel too because armand is said to have a terrible coldness in him that never warms#no matter how hard he tries#and in nicki it's just this sucking black hole of despair and he's spent most of his life circling that drain#there are so few things that make him happy and some of them also make him angry or hurt or a lot of other complex emotions#armand especially around tva is numb to his own emotions for the most part but recognising his road and his memories#nicki on the other hand at least how i do him for this is basically subsisting on emotion he's using it to fuel himself#they're armour and food because thinking logically about it is painful#it's two different ways not to feel your feelings but to intellectualise them instead#so it makes perfect sense of this to be the time for them to meet#(this au is not nicki alone but i haven't gotten to bianca yet even though I will)#(ngl part of it got inspired by good omens which is one of my favourite books so when the series came back it reminded me)#thank you again for the ask and i'm sorry for the extreme rambling#you start me on nicki and i don't shut up#answered#this-writer-needs-coffee#vc#tw: suidice
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#no time 2 talk i'm translating a song--#first of all. hi. i'm not leaving <3 but.#the yakuza hyperfixation hit me like a ton of bricks it hasn't done this in YEARS i usually just play the games through#and then continue on but 8 has pulled me back into 2018 so. my ykz sideblog is @okitanoniisan#also the entire series including side games (judgment/lost judgment) are on sale for as much as like 80 percent off on steam & ps store#so if you want a bunch of very big meaty games with a shitload of fleshed out side content and fun minigames#and some of my favourite characters in existence. you can get the collection bundle (7 games) for like 40 bucks#or just get yakuza 0 for less than the price of a fancy coffee. you WILL want to get the rest of the games. i promise.#hiiiiiiiiighly recommend the judgment games if you like mystery crime thriller stuff imo they're even more compelling than the main series#and gameplay kicks major ass i have like 235 hours on lost judgment alone (i was going for a platinum and still haven't gotten it)#also if you get the ykz collection go for 'yakuza: like a dragon' too it's on sale for ridiculously cheap and its like a 50 hour jrpg#(it's the 7th game but the english release would never let you know that. followed by gaiden and infinite wealth as 7.5 and 8)#but the last two just came out so theyre not on sale yet <3#go. be free. play good games.#i'm done shilling they're on sale until the 15th so go try out yakuza 0 at the very least <333#ada speaks#we now return to our regularly scheduled dennising
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I'm sorry for not posting good stuff, I just feel so useless at the moment. To keep it not so brief, one teacher is being an utter bitch and as a result, my entire life is crumbling around me. I was sick during an exam last week and only had 20 minutes to even attempt it. The English teacher rung home and told my parents that I'm not trying and I'm doing it on purpose because im arrogant and that I'm going to fail, which basically means that I won't be able to further my desired career and my entire life will be in shambles because later on in life, I won't be able to fund my own courses because im relying on my parents for financial aid at the moment. They're threatening to cut off that aid and not let me do the courses if i fail a single exam because they don't want me to end up like my sister (aka, they don't want me taking Foundation Studies to retake an exam). Keep I mind that these are practice exams and I still have about 2 months to improve.
I've had every thought under the Sun about it and I just don't know what to do. I'm thinking about reporting her to my academic mentor and asking her to tell my teacher to stop calling my parents because this feels like pure humiliation, but beyond that, I have no power. I feel like I'm gonna end up as a disowned failure and have all the opportunities I've built up just crumble away. School is one of the most traumatic experiences of my life but no one takes it seriously and it's genuinely one of the most harmful things thats happened to me. I can't drop out because of laws surrounding schooling and not a single adult around me has offered any support.
#will delete later#i need to get this off my chest before i have a meltdown#well i already am but i mean before it gets worse#i'm convinced i just had some kind of flashback but it feels almost attention-seeking to say that bc i haven't had a ptsd diagnosis#i wanna give up so back#not like suicide but just giving up#coz what's the point in trying for yourself if you'll never be enough for others#i just want this all to end i'm so tired#i'm not even 18 yet so why couldn't life just be a fantasy until then at least#i've been trying since i was 9 to keep it together but it's never truly worked#i'm just inherently broken i guess#i'm sorry i've gotten into an uncomfortable rant territory for people#i should prob stop being so negative all the damn time#maybe that's why people don't really care to see me any more i've just become some stupid kid who whines all the time#i'm sorry
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only thing getting me through these constant medical exams is drawing my trans ocs happy & being cool fr
#i haven't even gotten to like physical examinations yet i just hate being probed with a million questions constantly#esp when they're mostly repeats like girl just ask the other doctor they wrote it down the other day. leabe me alone#they're really stuck up on the fact i said i'm 'a nonbinary guy' and keep trying to convince me to be one or the other... annoying me#hoping that even if surgery is farther off than i'd hope i can at least get on hrt before the end of the year...#which might be a nightmare travel-wise because i have to go back to hell (the us) in december for family stuff#but whatever!!! seeing my friends & not being an emotional wreck would be worth it#my therapist is also trying to get me set up with a trans friendly voice coach to ease my fear of losing my singing voice :]
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i am so used to my pinned post i kinda don't want to change the format but i want to
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#Like. i want it to be more ❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥 u get me?#it's too small/limiting for me rn ragggghhh ..... will change it soon ^_^ 💖#wow. hard to believe it's already june. 4-5ish months till i'm not a minor anymore and around 2 months till college#happy pride btw :3 Hm. i am still not out to my parents but i am vv comfortable now w who i am.#i know for sure i prefer short hair over long hair and hate when it gets past this certain length that i then need a haircut#and i've actually grown comfortable wearing dresses and skirts! which ngl has been there a bit since i watched hamilton#but only now ?? like. Yeah.#it's funny bcs when i had shorter hair than my short hair rn LMFAO it was shorter than i actually liked#but the perks were my friends telling me You Look Like A Guy Even More and some storeclerk calling me sir#but that was funny bcs i was w my twin. and ok we're identical but maybe not obvious at first bcs i wear glasses and they have slightly more#femme and long hair and her style is diff from mine. colorful or bright or maximalist vs minimalist or dark or max 3 tones same colorsalways#LMFAO. me & my twin r super comfy w each other so sometimes we make Jokes. uh. yeah. HELP?#if u get it than yaaaa B) o/ anyway yeah. also comfortable w small amts of makeup now!#if it looks natural enough i'm cool w it :3 i also like stylistic shit. but haven't tried that stuff yet <3#i just hate makeup in general when it is too much that you don't look like yourself anymore... unless it's Cool#IDK HWO TO EXPLAIN. whatever it's not important. <3#ouuughhh i love my new pompompurin stuffed toy... official from sanrio in japan hehehehehehhe#i like making it do stupid shit like eating my soup or mochi and i like using it to tell my mom stuff like#pompompurin thinks you suck (jokingly. i love my mom she knows how i am!)#so she says back pompomsometbinv tell your amo (owner?) she sucks more LMFAOOO#also. just. fhsbkfjd official merch... >___< we were supposed to head back to our hotelwtvr after gpinf to alihabara#akihabara** but while waiting to reload the card thing. i spotted the official yostar store and :)) YAY#so got a little standee. for arknights. 1 for me 1 for my twin but it's gachafied and the fucking. thing. is.#every chara u cld get was basically a fav of mine ESP. TEQUILA. HOLY FUCK. MY ABSOLUTE JOY SEEING HIM.#but the two we got... were both my my Twin's favs... who i also like but. they are Not my faves. :)#so apparently just in general my gacha luck really sucks.#even w the gbf pins. artemis managed to get BELIAL and then for me uhh. ok we got 1 for a surprise gift for a friend#they r not active on tumblr atm i think so shhh anyway so basically anyway. i cld have gotten sandalphon. or other ppl. and i got two charas#i DO like but... more are arti's favs than mine still..... haha. at least w the ffxiv coasters we had equal luck. Amazing luck.
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I know it's (mostly) just the hangover but jfc
#i feel like shit#complete fucking waste of space#one goddamn thing i'm supposed to be any good for n i couldn't even provide that cause i got too drunk#it's been some days now this brain just replaying all the shit val's said over n over n it's rly hard not listening#givin us shit about our weight n the way i've 'let myself go'#i try to do what he tells me to n i'm 'out of practice' n 'we need to work on that'#like the choking gagging runny makeup look isn't what he likes anyway. like he wouldn't just keep pushing til he gets it#takin it is the only thing i'm good for#when it hurts or he makes me do smth i really really don't wanna is the only time i look pretty#it's not what i wanna be but if not that then i'm just nothing.#it feels like no matter how long i stay away from him n try to make a life for myself out here it's all hollow#i don't know if he'd even take me back anymore. probably if i beg n prove i want it enough#all i'll ever be is a (semi) sentient sex toy/punching bag anyway so what good is it when no one's even makin use of it?#i still know what he likes. maybe i'm out of practice but i can learn. i'm not obsolete yet#n if i do well enough he'll hold me n call me a good boy. his angel baby.#i wish it didn't feel like a crime just existing when i have nothing to make up for it with#he gives me a use n doesn't care about things like consent or morals. he just takes what he wants when he wants it#so i don't need to worry abt failing my basic purpose. he'll take it either way.#it's fucking terrible for my mental health but so is existing like this so what's the point? it's been months n i haven't gotten any better#at least he can make my head quiet. at least he usually gives me a way to make up for it when i fuck up#i need to wait at least til our brain's back to normal before makin any big decisions but. maybe it's time i went back where i belong.#maybe it's time i let him take back what was always his property anyway#spdrvent
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Hu Shin telling the men's group that Ji Young likes Min Gyu and that he told her to try and have a date with him before their time ends so that he can support her since he doesn't feel like he has a chance. this show doesn't deserve him
#heart signal 4#if there's a Hozier song for this on the new album then i haven't found it yet bc again i haven't gotten past f*cking De Selby but#he Ju Mi Gyeo Re and Ji Min they're the ones wrecking me. they're the ones who are the least likely to get a happy ending#and frankly the only way we could fix this is if ReMi suddenly got back together and Hu Shin finally paid enough attention to Ji Min#to realize that they should give it a shot. God why do i have to suffer so much this season is this necessary
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started playing persona q... i meant for it to be a brief thing to do until i stopped being tired but then i played it for five and a half hours... im having so much fun!!! so look at these "screenshots" (translation: pictures i took with my phone) + some of my thoughts!!
they the fucking aroace flag!! also this opening is stuck in my head its sooo good 😭
no one is surprised but im doing the p3 side… im not sure how much differences there are between the p3 and p4 side but. i'll look that up later and see if p4 side is worth playing (or if i should just watch it) 🤔
i take my naming VERY seriously (this is a joke). since ryoji isnt in this game i named minato after him (i already regret it tbh anytime they refer minat by name i have to live with the consequences of my actions. and i think it'll be worse when souji actually shows up bc its going to be yosuke and yosuke... 💦)
also i need to say that the note taking feature is the fucking funniest thing. i wanted to be like "oh yeah btw theres a shadow here" and like... i did not fucking expect what i wrote to show up in the top right corner and i feel like i have been given too much power.
very fun game so far im really excited to play more :) i'm around halfway through the 2nd floor in you in wonderland!, i think i will play this game in my downtime throughout this month it's soo cute and the map making is scratching a huge itch in my brain tbh :3
#pq#lizz.txt#lizz.jpg#“THIS BLOG WILL NOT HAVE ANY INTELLIGENT THOUGHT” i said#this is kind of true but guys guys guys this game is sooo cute im having so much fun#still haven't gotten to see the p4 cast yet but i really look forward to meeting them!!!#i dont know shit about this game other than the destined partner marriage thing where u hold the guy as ur bride#im so!!! i enjoy the style of the game a lot i feel so engrossed in it i think this is probably my favorite spinoff rn#at least in terms of how much i enjoy playing it (this does not include the dancing games)#also apparently this game takes anywhere beween 60-116 hours to beat and im like!! oh boy!!!!#im having fun though.. so so refreshing to be playing this god i missed this cast of characters a lot#zen and rei are really swag too! i've enjoyed seeing them around and im definitely intrigued as to what their roles and memories pertain to#i've had a document in my notes software liveblogging my thoughts on the game its!! im curious how the plot of this game will turn out hehe#i missed playing persona a lot... maybe after this i'll get back to playing p4g... but i should just focus on one game at a time haha...#it took me a year to get around to playing this!! (bought this last year bc of the eshop closure)#so happy to be playing it now!!! oh god!! i talked a lot!! sorry! you're gonna have to all deal with me long posting anytime i play more
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Oops.
#i should start keeping a giant fire extinguisher in the back of my car#theoretically i should just stop setting things on fire#but i can't#i tried that for a couple years#and then 2022 happened and i broke#ive set a minimum of at least a dozen things on fire since the start of the year#im surprised i haven't gotten caught yet#its not big things#the biggest thing was an already mostly burned down shed thing#the rest is just dumpsters and piles of trash outside of dumpsters#shame on me#i wish i lived somewhere with a fireplace#maybe then id burn things safely#pyro problems
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Let Me Raise The Bar
T | 3,602 words | Steddie | also on ao3! | Modern AU, Meet Cute, Fluff
This fic is for the @strangerthingswritersguild fic exchange, by @starryeyedjanai and @devondespresso. Thank you to @dreamwatch and @bubblesandink for betaing for me!! <3
dividers by @/thecutestgrotto
edit: oh my god i forgot the keep reading the first time im so sorry guys
This night is going terribly.
He keeps telling himself he’ll delete all his dating apps for good, but the prospect of being alone forever always has him re-downloading them.
Right now, he’s remembering why he hates them so much.
He hates Tinder, specifically—guys on Tinder only want to fuck. And if that was what he was looking for, that’d be fine, great even!
But he wants a relationship and guys on Tinder will say they want one too and then turn around and leave right after they get what they want.
At least guys on Grindr are upfront about it being just a hookup—no one’s getting their hopes up or feelings hurt when it turns out to be just that.
Tinder guys will take you on a date and pretend to be interested in you as a person and then won't fucking text back after they leave your apartment the next morning. It’s annoying and it’s frustrating and it’s a waste of Steve's fucking time at this point.
And this guy tonight isn't even trying to pretend. He tried to get Steve to blow him in his apartment building garage before they even left for the date and he really should have taken that for the red flag that it was.
But Steve looks good, and he did his hair routine that takes entirely too fucking long for no one to appreciate it.
His date drives him to this hole in the wall restaurant that Steve must have passed a million times on the bus ride to his job without ever noticing.
He thought he might be able to turn things around when they got there—it’s a small Italian place, a real family-owned type vibe to it. He knows before he even orders that the food is going to be some of the best he’s tasted since moving here.
He tries asking the typical first date questions to get to know him, but his date keeps giving him short answers. So he switches to talking about himself a little, but then he realizes his date’s been staring at his mouth the whole time he’s been talking and Steve finally snaps that he isn't getting into his pants.
Steve breathes out a deep sigh as his “date” gets up and goes to the bathroom. Some fucking date this is—they haven't even gotten their fucking food yet. What a disaster.
“Hey,” he hears their waiter—Eddie, his nametag reminds Steve when he looks up—say after a minute of his date being gone. “I hate to be the bearer of super bad news, but I just saw your date slip out the back door, and I don't know if he’s planning on coming back.”
There's a lilt of sympathy in his voice and Steve can't help but snort.
“Of course he did,” Steve says. “Why can't guys just be upfront about what they want? It would save everyone so much time.”
He’s not looking for an answer, but Eddie's mouth twists and he says, “Guys are stupid. I mean, they’d have to be to give up the chance to get to know someone as cute as you.”
Steve can't really muster up a smile at the pity, so he says, “Well, whatever the case, he was my ride home, so I think I need to call a Lyft now. Can you box the food up and bring me the check?” At least he’ll have lunch for tomorrow, which doesn't feel like an adequate consolation prize for how shitty he feels right now.
Eddie shakes his head and says, “There’s no way I’m letting you pay for such a shitty date.” Steve opens his mouth to protest, but Eddie continues, “Tell you what, my shift ends in ten minutes. Why don't I show you how I’d treat you if we went on a date.”
Steve's heart thuds in his chest, a flicker of hope in this incredibly dull evening. “Seriously?” he asks.
Eddie nods. “Think of it as a trial run. See if I rank good enough for a real one.” He winks and Steve finds himself nodding dumbly, still shocked at the rapid turn of events.
“Okay,” Steve says, kind of breathless.
Eddie heads back to finish cleaning up his other tables before he ends his shift, and Steve fills Robin in over text about what happened.
He’s still waiting for a response when Eddie shows back up with two plates of food, setting one in front of Steve and the other where his date sat before sliding into the chair across from him.
He’s wearing a different shirt, Steve realizes. It also looks like he attempted to wrangle his curly hair into something more manageable, maybe sprayed some water on it to smooth it down.
The thought that this guy, this random guy who happened to be his waiter on this horrific night, would put in more effort than his previous date makes Steve's cheeks get hot.
Maybe this night really can turn around.
“Alright, names. Hi, I'm Eddie.” Eddie says, sticking his hand out across the table cartoonishly for a handshake. Steve suppresses a laugh and takes Eddie’s hand with a smile.
“Steve.” He says, and Eddie’s eyes brighten before he takes his hand back.
“So, Steve, what do you do for fun?” Eddie says, leaning forward slightly with vibrant confidence, tone feeling more and more noticeably rehearsed as he goes. “Other than light up the room with that smile, of course.”
Steve huffs a laugh, blushing despite himself.
“You practice that one a lot?”
Eddie shrinks back a little, still smiling even as he messes with the hair on the back of his neck, already starting to ruffle what he’d tried to tame.
“Yeah, it’s uh…”
“It’s sweet.” Steve leans in a little closer himself, trying to match the effort Eddie keeps putting in. “Almost as sweet as the smile you're wearing.”
Eddie flushes pink and lets out a little “Thank you” to cover a nervous laugh—and christ, Steve is already hooked.
Steve hums and grabs his fork to start eating and Eddie mirrors him.
“Thank you for this by the way.” Steve continues, “Tonight's been… ugh, you know.”
“A special kind of shitty?”
“Yeah,” Steve sighs, “So all this is… really nice.”
“I'm glad.” Eddie says, voice soft before he shrugs and continues casually “M’hoping I’ll at least do better than the last guy.”
“Yeah, of course, you haven’t even asked me to blow you yet or anything.”
Eddie turns red and busts out a nervous laugh, looking away immediately. God, he’s so fucking cute.
“Yeah, yeah, I'm not���” Eddie looks back at him, nervous still, but sincere anyway, “That's not exactly my style.”
“You a wine and dine kinda guy?”
Eddie shrugs lightly, then he seems to get an idea, leaning in again with a smile “Actually– ideally, I'm a dine and mine kinda guy.”
A smile takes over Steve’s face that he can’t fully tamp down, a little flustered and a lot amused.
Eddie preens, then continues with a shy smile.
“Though, uh, usually it's more dine and…” Eddie pauses, “Pine. Dine and pine. You know, like pining.”
Steve makes his face relax as he nods and leans back. “Oh, yeah, like the tree.”
Eddie stops and looks at Steve, and soon Steve’s smile breaks out again.
“No, I know what you mean.” He says with a little laugh that Eddie quickly mirrors.
Eddie visibly relaxes, slouching overdramatically to the side with a sigh.
“God, I swear I’m usually good at this sort of thing, words and stories and shit,” He groans, gesturing around almost like he’s talking to himself, “But apparently I meet one pretty boy and suddenly I’ve got screws loose. And they’re all falling out, all across the floor, ‘there they go!’, y’know?”
Steve bites back a snicker and hums a quiet agreement. Eddie notices, though, looks up and sees right to Steve’s amusement, so Steve decides to save them both the embarrassment and move on.
“So your job. You like it here?
“Oh yeah, absolutely,” Eddie says, perking up and gesturing as he starts talking, “The owners are really cool, they were our neighbors– Wayne’s—my uncle’s—neighbors when I first moved in with him, way way back, and they were so chill, loved having people over. Then one time in highschool I mentioned saving up ‘cause I’m trying to make it big with my band, and they offered to give me a job here while we get there.”
“That’s awesome. Your band any good?”
“Depends on who you ask.” Eddie laughs, playing with the food on his plate, “Wayne says we’re pretty good, which is probably the equivalent of moms showing up to their toddler’s dance recitals, but it’s something.”
“Where'd you guys play?”
“The Hideout, a couple blocks down…”
Steve nods.
“Yeah, it’s, uh, pretty fun if you ever wanted to stop by.“
“Sounds like a great second date.”
Eddie blushes, playing with his hair again as he smiles and looks away.
“I’ll probably have to wear earplugs– not because of your band or–”
“No, no, no, you’re good–” Eddie says, almost jumping up to reassure him, “It’s metal, that’s normal– good, even.”
“Oh– good.” Steve says, a bit awkwardly, and looks back down to his food.
Eddie leaves barely a moment of silence before he pulls the conversation back together.
“So what about you? You just a professional bad-Tinder-dater?”
Steve huffs and fiddles with his fork.
“Guidance counselor, actually.”
“Oh damn, really?”
“Yeah, Middle school.”
“Oh god,” Eddie groans playfully, “I can't imagine going back there willingly.”
“Yeah, I mean, it can get pretty rough,” Steve shrugs, “It's good though. Kids start thinking about who they are, I get to try and make that a little less shitty.”
“That’s a tall order.” Eddie laughed into his glass. “I respect it though. Hell, just having a queer adult exist around me would’ve made a lot of it easier.”
“God, yeah. I've got practice, at least, for when they need more than just some guy standing around in an office.” he laughed, pulling out sarcastic air quotes for the next part, “ I ‘babysat’ kids in middle school before I graduated. Bunch of little shits but they were good kids– still are good. They're like four years younger than me though, so they're more like siblings than kids.”
“Yeah, bet they don't take well to ‘kids’.”
“Oh, they hate it.” Steve laughed and Eddie followed with him, “Always hated it, but Dustin put his foot down after highschool. Rob and I call them my ‘twenty-somethings’ now.”
“God, wait, how old are you?” Eddie laughed
“Twenty-six.”
Eddie laughed a little louder, a lively and full laugh that looked enchanting on Eddie.
“You'd love them, they're all–
Steve’s phone buzzes.
Both of them look over to it on the table. Steve moves it to the seat next to him, looked up to Eddie with an apologetic smile.
His phone buzzes again.
And again, and soon Eddie’s eyes flick in that direction, eyebrow quirking with barely-restrained curiosity.
Then Steve’s phone starts ringing, the electric guitars of Hammer To Fall creeping up in volume way too fast for comfort.
“Sorry–” Steve cringes, grabbing his phone and answering the call in a furious whisper, “Robin, are you dying?”
“No, but thank you for confirming that you aren’t.”
“I texted you what happened.”
“Yeah and it was vague as hell! I reserve the right to be a worrywart with this shit.”
“Yeah, I know.” Steve sighs, but can’t really argue with her on it. “This was going well, though–”
“Is.” Eddie chimes in, not trying to be loud enough for the phone to pick it up, just for Steve to hear him clearly.
“Is going well.” Steve smiles.
“Oooo okayyy.” Robin hums and Steve can hear her cheeky smile through the phone.
“Goodbye, Robin.” Steve says, failing a half-assed attempt to cover his amusement.
“Oh wait no, tell him if he tries anything I’ll–”
“M’not doing that.”
“I will though, I’ll go after him–”
“Oh woah you’re breaking up, can’t hear you.” Steve deadpans.
“Steve, I know–”
“Love you, bye–”
“Steeeeve–”
“Don’t pull your hair out.” Steve says and hangs up, coming back to the present to Eddie watching him, thankfully looking amused instead of annoyed.
“Sorry about that.” Steve says.
“No, no, it’s fine.” Eddie leans forward again, propping his head up in one hand, “So… friend?”
“Best friend, has to be to get away with shit like that so easily.”
Eddie snorts.
“What was she calling about?”
“I wasn’t clear that this new date thing was gonna be a good thing.”
Eddie nods civilly.
“She worries,” Steve continues, “Fuckin’ tinder dates, y’know?”
“Uh, not really….” Eddie smiles.
“Good for you. They’re all the same asshole in a different haircut.” Steve says, and Eddie smiles, laughing a little with him before continuing with something calmer, a little more earnest.
“Then why keep going to them?”
Steve shrugs.
“Call me an optimist, I guess.”
Eddie hums noncommittally, like he’s thinking more than he’s sharing, and continues the conversation in a lighter direction.
_
The rest of the date is wonderful. A little less chaotic, especially once they start finally eating their food for real, but what it lacks in eventfulness it makes up for in comfort. They’re not exactly quiet, but Eddie’s energy always comes with a sincerity underneath, like he’s bold and fun because he just is, and not because he’s making himself be.
It’s refreshing. And as the night goes on, it becomes intoxicating.
So when Eddie offers to save him the Lyft fee and just drive Steve home, Steve agrees, just to get a little longer in Eddie’s bubble.
Eddie leads him through the restaurant and out the back into a small parking lot with a handful of cars and one big van, decorated with a clearly hand-painted dragon on the side. Which, of course, ends up being Eddie’s.
“Dustin would love this thing.” Steve says as he hops into the passenger’s seat, not really thinking twice about it as he looks at the interior, eyes lingering on the big fuzzy dice with too many sides hanging from the mirrors.
“So Dustin is…?”
“A Twenty-something.” Steve laughs as he spins the fuzzy dice to see all of its sides. “He’s like my little brother. Loves DnD and science and… all the nerd shit.”
“Nerd shit?”
“Yeah, I mean– it's not my thing but it’s cool. I’ve played with Dustin and them a couple times.”
“Oooo, a bit of a nerd, are we?” Eddie hums in a weird, almost witchy voice.
“Casually.”
“Mmm, but you’re already down the path~~”
“Just drive, dude.” Steve says with a fond eye roll.
“As you wish, your majesty.” Eddie hums in his normal voice, giving Steve a glowing glance before shoving the keys in.
“Alright, I'm about to push your nerd-tolerance to its limits.” Eddie says, pulling out his phone with a grin. He connects it to the car and quickly turns it down before drums and guitar erupt from the speakers, and Steve flinches at the volume.
“Sorry, sorry.” Eddie whispers and turns down the music again.
Steve nods, and after a second of the music playing much more quietly, he finds it much more comfortable. Nice, even. The energy is quick and alive like Eddie is, though the aggressive vocals fit his outward aesthetic more than his borderline goofy demeanor.
“It’s not the music, I promise.” Steve says, saying it casually but meaning it sincerely.
“You’re fine, I get it.” Eddie laughs, a little too cynically for Steve’s liking.
“No, I–” Steve reaches for Eddie’s hand between them, intertwining fingers and bringing both hands up between them, “I’m serious, I like it. My head’s a little sensitive, been hit a few too many times, but it’s nice. It’s bold and very energetic… stuff that I already like about you.”
Eddie blushes hard—a sweet cherry pink��as he slouches, bringing their joined hands closer to his face like he’s trying to hide behind them. Eddie rests his forehead against the back of Steve’s hand and huffs a quiet laugh.
“God, you’re quite the charmer, Stevie.” Eddie says, and Steve finds his face warming too.
“And I’m guessing it’s working?” Steve laughs.
Eddie looks up at him, smiling wide.
“Oh, it’s working very well.” Eddie says, and brings their hands closer to him again to plant a soft kiss onto Steve’s hand.
Steve’s face goes warm again, lights him on fire, and Eddie’s smile turns slightly smug before he looks away.
“Alright,” Eddie says, looking back to the front to drive but not letting go of Steve’s hand. He even reaches his left arm over to change the gears, leaning into how silly he looks to make Steve laugh.
It’s sweet, it's genuine, and it's everything to Steve.
Eddie starts driving, hand still firmly holding onto Steve’s, neither of them willing to let go first. Steve looks at it as Eddie drives, splitting most of his attention between their hands, Eddie’s profile lit up by the colorful city lights, and the road ahead as he navigates Eddie to his apartment.
And if they miss a turn or two because Steve’s tired brain doesn’t want to watch the damn road? Eddie doesn’t mention it.
_
“Alright.” Eddie says, putting the car into park with his left hand again, though far less comically now.
He sits there for a second, quiet like something’s on his mind, so Steve waits.
“Okay, uh,” Eddie starts, looking vaguely down as he wanders through what he wants to say, “I had fun, I’m assuming by how the nights gone that you did, too…”
Steve squeezes Eddie's hand, and Eddie laughs.
“I had a really great time. And I want to do this again, if you want to.” Eddie glances up at Steve for a second before his eyes dart away again. “But I want to be sure you’re… you’re not being an optimist with me. That you want want this, y’know, because you're an amazing guy, Stevie. I don’t know how you keep having such shit luck but believe me when I tell you it's not because of you.”
Eddie looks back up at him again and keeps his gaze there, looking more relaxed now.
“So, uh, I would love to take you out again.” Eddie says, “If you want to.”
If he wants to, as if that's not the most romantic thing Steve’s heard in his life.
Steve almost says that. He also debates kissing him or pulling him into an awkward hug over the center console that he’s sure would be put up with no matter how uncomfortable it’d be. But Steve doesn’t, because Eddie continues before Steve can make a decision.
“What do you want?”
Steve resists the urge to say a cheesy ‘You’ and thinks about it, really thinks so he can put together words that make sense, so he can give Eddie a real answer.
“I want a long relationship. A real one, y’know?”
Eddie nods.
“And I want to get married, someday. I want someone who’ll stay that long, who will love and let me love them, all cheesy and clingy and shit.”
Eddie hums, searching Steve’s face.
“And?”
Steve looks down at the joined hands between them.
“And I’d love if it were you. You’re sweet, so sweet, but you’re also… alive. Everything you do, you’re…” Steve thinks hard for a moment, working out how to phrase it. “It’s like the world doesn’t weigh you down. And you’re so genuine and you’ll come and say what you mean like it’s nothing, and I think every one of the people in my life—my favorite people—would love being around you almost as much as I do.”
Steve looks back up to him, face hot with another intense flush, and tries to smile casually.
“Hate to break it to you, dude, but you’re kinda my perfect man.”
Eddie huffs a breathy laugh, face painted with disbelief and wonder.
“Okay, then. Case closed.”
“Yeah,” Steve hums, with as much fondness as possible. Steve leans in across the center console, bringing a hand up slowly, trying to signal that he’s leaning in for a kiss.
It takes Eddie a second, and Steve gets to watch him look down at Steve’s hand and look at Steve leaning in, gets to see the moment it clicked before Eddie lunges to meet him halfway and then some, making the hand that was supposed to cradle Eddie’s face hold onto the seat beneath him to keep their balance.
Eddie kisses him hard at first, bringing a hand up to card through Steve’s hair, excited and alive. Then Eddie seems to come back to his senses, moving back but taking Steve with him until they’re both leaning over the center again.
Their kiss softens, intensity melting out into fondness, gentle but passionate, warm and Steve wants to melt from it.
Still, Steve’s going home tonight, going to go upstairs to Robin and tell her all about it. He’ll get to have a good night's sleep in a bed that doesn’t need cleaning, and he’ll get to wake up to the idea of something new brewing fresh in his mind.
Steve pulls back gently and Eddie does the same, eyes flicking open one after the other, a smile on Steve’s face and another lighting up Eddie’s.
Steve catches his breath, feeling lighter now than he has in ages, and Eddie opens his mouth to say something again.
“Does this mean I can get your number?”
#stranger things#steddie#steve harrington#eddie munson#steddie fic#steddie fluff#fluff#modern au#happy ending#devon's writings
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Leaving: Christmas
Alexia Putellas x Teen!Reader
Summary: Christmas with Menor
It's not often that Eli gets to have all three of you in the same place, not with you off travelling the world for your tennis, practically in a different country every month.
But the winter months is one that she can almost guarantee you'll be home for.
You finish your tennis season on a high, lifting the trophy at the WTA Finals before you spend a few more weeks in Poland with your training team coming up with a rough schedule of what you want to compete in next year.
But you're home now which means that Eli has all three of her daughters in the same country. Which also means mandatory days out together on the run up to Christmas.
It's easier to get you sorted than Alexia - still playing football every week - and Alba, still teaching as the schools haven't gone on holiday yet.
You're back in your childhood bedroom and seem to delight in sleeping the day away and only getting up around two in the afternoon to migrate from your bed to the sofa.
Occasionally, you roll out of bed early in the morning to take part in some sponsorship commitments.
Your tennis season has been nothing short of extraordinary this year and you've somehow become Nike Tennis' golden girl along the way with all of your tennis gear bar your racket being supplied by them.
Like how now, you and Alexia are wearing the exact same Nike shoes as you all walk through the Christmas market together.
"Mami!" You complain over the noise of the crowd," Mami, make them stop!"
Somewhere between the stall making handmade Santas and the stall with fresh paella, Alexia has gotten you into a headlock and is none too kindly ruffling your hair while Alba pinches your cheek between two fingers.
"She started it!" Alexia yells back.
"Alexia," Eli says with a sigh," You are thirty years old-"
"Yeah, Alexia!" You butt in," You're old."
"No, y/n, that's not what I meant," Eli tries to correct you but she's interrupted yet again.
"Yeah, older than you!" Alexia says," Which means you're meant to do what I say! Listen to your elders!"
"Oh? So you're elderly now? Maybe you should sit down, Ale, and rest your old back!"
You shove her off of you, stamping on her foot before taking off down the street.
"Hey! Get back here!" Alexia yells, taking off after you as she forces her way through the crowd.
Alba shakes her head in mock disapproval. "You know, Mami-"
"No, Alba," Eli says," I will not only buy you stuff tonight. Stop trying to get your sisters in trouble."
Alba shrugs. "It was worth a shot."
By the time Eli and Alba catch up, you and Alexia have forgotten whatever argument you've been having in favour of nosing around some of the stalls together.
Somehow in the time it's taken for Eli and Alba to return, you've both gotten cups of hot chocolate with caramel sauce and marshmallows along with little Christmas ornaments to hang on the tree.
"Must you two spend so much money?" Alba complains as she points at the little paper bags that Eli hadn't even noticed.
"It's not our fault that we've got a lot of it saved up."
Alba rolls her eyes. "It's exactly your fault! You don't have to keep winning so much in prize money."
You shrug. "It's not my fault I'm good at what I do."
"It's your fault you're not spending it on me," Alba says, tongue poking out of her mouth.
"If I buy you stuff, will I get sister points?"
Alba doesn't even have to think about it. "Yes."
You grin. "What do you want?"
Eli sighs. "Alba, please stop exploiting your little sister's goodwill."
"Yeah Alba," Alexia butts in, her own tongue sticking out," Don't exploit our little sister."
"You do it all the time!"
"I'm allowed to!"
"Girls," Eli says wearily," Please stop exploiting each other."
It's a weak request, one that Eli knows will be ignored but she has to at least attempt it, if only to look like a good mother in a crowd of strangers.
She easily tunes out the bickering of the three of you as she turns to the hot chocolate stall and buys herself a cup of it.
You and Alexia have good taste, she can give you that because it's delightfully creamy and Eli takes a long gulp before turning back around.
She's not surprised that the three of you have disappeared.
In all honesty, she's surprised you all stuck around for so long.
Usually, the three of you go off by yourselves the moment you step into a market. Eli's kind of been a bit antsy for you to all disappear. She does her best Christmas shopping when none of you are around.
"Alexia!" You complain," Hurry up! Alba's saving us a spot in line."
"But..." Alexia pretends to stumble, making herself seem suddenly weak and weary. "I...I don't know if I can go on! You know, with my old bones!"
"Alexia, you're so dramatic!"
She grins. "Yes."
"Come on!" You say," I want to go on the drop ride!"
"You always want to go on the drop ride!"
"Exactly," You say, pulling her more forcefully than before," Because it's tradition! Don't ruin tradition!"
Alexia laughs, finally having stopped digging her heels in to throw her arm over your shoulder.
"You know I'll never break tradition."
#woso x reader#alexia putellas x reader#alexia putellas#woso community#woso imagine#woso fanfics#woso
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Hii! Can i pls request a Light x reader nsfw? You know the scenes where L planted a camera in his room right? Well maybe to make L less suspicious of him Light fucks the reader in his room? I thought that it was a hot idea♡ you dont have to do it if you dont want to😊
★ DECEPTION ─ fem!reader
#NOTES ─ i love you for requesting this i cannot tell you how many times i've day dreamed about this (sorry it took so long)
#WARNINGS ─ smut, cnc peeping toms (L), p in v,
#SUMMARY ─ "there was an elaborate plan set in place. but as soon as light's hands snaked around your waist you seemed to forget everything you were supposed to do and say." innocent until proven guilty
there was an elaborate plan set in place. but as soon as light's hands snaked around your waist you seemed to forget everything you were supposed to do and say. his moderately chapped lips kissing your cheek lovingly. much unlike how light usually behaved around you.
"light." his name left your lips, trying to warn him he'd made your mind go blank. but he knew.
"i know." he whispered back, displeasure laced in his voice. luckily, light was more than capable of carrying out the plan for the both of you.
"just let me do all the work." he muttered, his voice not loud enough to be picked up on by the mics on the camera but still he was careful with what he said.
he hoped you would be too. you nodded. looking up at light with a lustful look in your eye that he couldn't deny was making him a little aroused. light kissed your jaw, roughly. as if light was capable of doing anything without roughness.
"last chance to back out." it's not a soft tone, but it does let you know that he won't be mad at you if you do decide you don't want some random creep watching you have sex with your friend.
you shake your head, you weren't going to let him down now. and to be totally honest, the thought of someone watching you in such a vulnerable position was intriguing to say the least. light began to undress you once you'd given him your final consent.
meanwhile, L watched his screen with wider eyes than normal. his eyes grazing every pixel of the screen as he watched light take off your shirt. neglecting the other screens that were broadcasting equally, if not more, important information. L racked his brain trying to figure out if this was just a trick of if he was really witnessing this dirty scene play out.
all your clothes were off in what seemed like a blink of an eye. pressed into the mattress with light's knee inches away from your heated core. you dumbly pull at his tie, fucked out expression but light hadn't even gotten started with you yet.
"you got any thoughts in there at all?" he smirks. silently gloating now that he knew he had every single person he knew wrapped around his godly finger. there was not a thought behind your blown out pupils. it prided light to know he had such an effect on you.
"i haven't even done anything yet." he furthers. and L was hearing all of it.
you paw at the waist band of his bland khaki pants. light chuckled feeling your shaky hands trying to get more of him. his rubs his hand over your chest, caressing your nipple with his pointer and thumb.
"patient girls get rewarded." he tsks. he's met with a whine to which he chuckles again. he knows L will over analyze and find something wrong with the scenario if he doesn't hurry up.
"you wanna get rewarded?" he unbuttons his pants with one hand. you're eager, desperate. you need hm in a way you didn't even know it was possible to want one of your friend.
he reaches over you, grabbing a condom from the book shelf. it was wedged between two books. clearly he was trying to keep it hidden from his maid of a mom and his nosy sister.
he opens the condom with his teeth and you might as well just have hearts in your eyes as you watch him. the wrapper falls somewhere unimportant on the bed. he rolls the condom on. you knew it was only a matter of time before you finally felt full with his cock.
© 2023 MORBIDEROTICA
#─ ♡ death note#he makes me so subby#death note#death note x reader#death note smut#light yagami smut#light yagami x reader#light yagami death note#light yagami#yagami light
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