#or the fact that my ideal romantic relationship is just. we're best friends but with all the extra relationship shit added on.

[lazylittledragon]

i honestly think part of the reason why my relationships always end horribly is because no amount of honey/baby/beautiful does ANYTHING for me but one time my friend told me i laugh like i'm getting paid for it and i've thought about that every single day of my life

[houseofwolvess]

sexuality is so dumb. relationships are dumb. romance is dumb and sex is dumb and it's all too fucking complicated and weird

[epicbuddieficrecs]

Weekly Recap | April 8th-14th 2024

Managed to put it out slightly earlier this time! 😆 This is still long af and there are still too many fics left in my ao3 inbox but maybe the mini hiatus will allow me to catch up!

As you can see I'm still enjoying podfics and I am happy to report that listening to Coma-Verse made me cry as much if not more as reading it 🙃 You can also looks forward to part 2 of my "BFF fic rec" series which will cover seasons 4 and 5, coming soon!

Enjoy! 😃

Complete

and with each one, i'm a little more free series by honestlydarkprincess/ @honestlydarkprincess (Post-S7E4, Coming Out):

settle (<1K | General): Buck comes out to Chimney. so let the words slip out of your mouth (1,7K | General): Buck comes out to Eddie.

kiss him once for me by 42hrb/ @exhuastedpigeon (S7E5 Spec, Jealous Eddie | <1K | General): Eddie was perfectly happy and accepting about Buck’s sexuality, in fact, he liked to think he was the ideal picture of a best friend when Buck had told him. So, nothing changed between them. Or at least, nothing changed until he sees Buck and Tommy kiss.

when we're barely awake in the heat of the day's weight by trysetmeonfire/ @try-set-me-on-fire (BuckTommy | 1K | Mature): Buck wakes up at Tommy’s place and they have a conversation about taking up space

like an empty bottle takes the rain by glorious_spoon/ @glorious-spoon (Post-S7E4, Sexuality Crisis | 1,2K | General): "I was wondering. You and Tommy—how did you know?" There's a soft intake of breath. "That I was into guys? Or that I was into him?" "Either." Eddie shrugs tightly. "Both."

Yes, Daddy by Tizniz/ @tizniz (PWP, Daddy Kink | 1,7K | Explicit): And really, the shit eating smirk that graces Buck’s too pink lips should have been Eddie’s warning. But he’s so used to his best friend’s antics that he’s become immune to them. Or, well he thought he had. “Yes, Daddy.”

don't stand a ghost of a chance (with you) by extasiswings/ @extasiswings (Post-S7E5, BuckTommy Breakup | 1,7K | Teen): Tommy isn’t stupid. He knows the score from the beginning. But. He’s only so strong. And Evan is both hot as hell and supremely adorable. So Tommy kisses him, and asks him out, and tells himself that maybe he’s just been reading the signs wrong. Maybe Evan and Eddie really are just…very…close friends. He’s imagining things. They’re friends—or maybe Evan has a crush—but that’s fine. Evan asked Tommy out. So Eddie is…a nonissue. Tommy tells himself that right up until he can’t anymore.

don't want to be a fool for you by fallingthorns/ @fallingthorns (Bachelor party, Madney Wedding Spec | 1,8K | Teen): Or, at both the bachelor party and the wedding reception, Buck looks at Eddie.

let’s get lost between the lines by wafflesofdoom/ @capseycartwright (BuckTommy, Post-S7E5 | 2K | General): “You handled that well,” Tommy said, as they left the restaurant and stepped out into this cool evening air. His words were soft, and gentle – genuine, even. As though he really meant it. Buck was baffled, frankly. “I handled that with as much grace as an elephant doing ballet,” Buck glared at his - his date? - incredulously. “Tommy, did you hit your head? Are you concussed? Do I need to take you to the emergency room?” or, after the eddie shaped hiccup of their first date, buck and tommy walk and talk - about coming out and why buck deserves a nice boyfriend.

good luck, babe by hattalove/ @hattalove (Outsider POV, Social Media fic, S7E5, BuckTommy Date | 2K | Teen): sometimes, when you've had a bad week, all you want is a romantic evening out with your wife over terrible pizza, and what you get instead is some kind of intricate gay ritual happening two tables away from you.

say my name and everything just stops by bellabrady (BuckTommy, Endgame Buddie, Getting Together | 3K | Not Rated): Or: Buck accidentally moans Eddie's name while making out with Tommy and it leads to some realizations.

behaving myself. by dylaesthetics (Secret Relationship | 3K | Teen): OR it’s just a regular day at fire station one-eighteen. No one’s acting weird. Nothing’s out of the ordinary. Everything's the same as it's always been. Right?

even for a phoenix (i’m getting tired) by hobbitprincess (Post-S5E18, Hurt Buck | 3K | Mature) : “You’re gonna be fine,” says Eddie again, and Buck hates that he can parse out the slight waver that wasn’t there the first time. Buck doesn’t have the heart to disagree with him, even if they both know it isn’t true.

This Old Love Has Me Bound by allyasavedtheday/ @littlespoonevan (Post-S7E4 | 3K | Teen): In an attempt to better understand his newfound bisexuality, Buck tries to figure out if he ever missed any signs with guys before. The universe keeps interrupting every time he's about to think about Eddie.

so much to say that's subject-sore by hattalove/ @hattalove (BuckTommy, Buddie Endgame | 3K | Teen): in which buck is convinced he's having commitment issues, tommy is there to hold his hand, and the tiramisu won't eat itself.

I get drunk on jealousy by heartbeatdiaz/ @loserdiaz (FWB BuckTommy, Endgame Buddie | 5K | Explicit): Eddie calls Buck in the middle of the night at a not so covenient time, words are said, feelings are revealed and Buck's strenght is tested.

shoot another shot (try to stop the feeling) by withmeornotatall/ @chronicowboy (Bachelor Party Spec, BuckTommy, Endgame Buddie | 5K | General): "He just. He won't let me in, Tommy. It's terrifying. I don't know how to help him because he's refusing to even admit there's something wrong." Buck scrubs a hand down his face. "I'm not crazy, am I? I'm not making things up? He's not himself, right?" (OR: eddie gets drunk and cuts a little too loose, buck tries to pick up the pieces and ends up getting more than he bargained for, and tommy is just happy he got to be with buck at least for a little while)

Threes Not A Crowd by Tizniz/ @tizniz (Buck/Tommy/Eddie, PWP | 5K | Explicit): Follow up to Buck's Boyfriends in which Buck's boyfriends take care of him. Incredibly well. (Part 2 of Buck's Boyfriends)

🔥 To Build A Nest (To Build A Home) by Kwills91/ @kwills91 (Post-S5E14, Getting Together | 9K | Teen): Five times Buck shows his love for Eddie via pebbling and the one time Eddie uses those pebbles to build a nest.

don't go breaking my heart. by dylaesthetics (S7E6 Spec, Madney Wedding, Getting Together | 13K | Teen): Coming to terms with being bisexual and being in love with his best friend is not how Buck expected to spend the month or so leading up to his sister’s wedding. But then again, life has shown time and time again that he has been put on this planet to suffer. - OR Buck can’t take it anymore and kisses Eddie in the middle of his sister’s wedding reception. He’s never been known for making good decisions. (Part 2 of heaven is you.)

🔥 Test Drive by ElvenSorceress/ @elvensorceress (PWP, Buck/Tommy/Eddie, Buddie Endgame | 28K | Explicit): In which Buck wants his boyfriend to give his best friend a queer awakening like he had. For no particular reason at all. While he also has the most inopportune "Oh" moment ever.

WIP

Both Bermuda and Golden (Lost but Doing Just Fine) by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels/ @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (PWP, Threesome, BuckTommyEddie | 4/6 | 20K | Explicit): In which everyone has two hands and two holes and is keeping their options fluid. (Or: a collection of threesome fics.)

🔥 Things We're All Too Young to Know by Daisies_and_Briar / @cal-daisies-and-briars (Canon S1-S6, S7 Spec | 125/? | 389K | Mature): This is a love story. Even if it doesn’t always look like it. Even if it doesn’t always feel like it. A look back on Eddie and Buck's lives up to now, and what led them to each other, interpreted from the current 9-1-1 canon.

What’s Your Order? by JJK/ @trenchcoatsandtimetravel (Post-S7E5, BuckTommy | 2K | Teen): 5 Times Buck Guessed Tommy’s Coffee Order + 1 Time He Didn’t Have To

🔥 Any Other Way by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Canon Divergent, S2 | 8/18 | 45K | Mature): In a switcheroo alternate universe, Buck spends young adulthood in the military, while Eddie, who has no idea Christopher exists, spends his twenties messing around, finally enjoying freedom away from his family’s expectations. When they both end up in Los Angeles, at the 118, some things are different, and others will be the same in any universe.

🔥 Cowboy With a One Track Mind by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Canon Divergence, Not A Firefighter Buck | 1/4 | 6K | Mature): Spin-off Sequel to Evan Buckley & the Coma-Verse of Madness - Chapter 7 (Land): Grieving and tortured, Evan Buckley has been living alone in Montana in a remote cabin for nearly a decade. After an incident that leaves him missing six months of his life, and suddenly in connection with a group of strangers from Los Angeles, Evan must decide whether to remain in his self-imposed exile, or take a chance at life again.

Podfics

🔥 [podfic] wedding bells by All_I_Ask/ @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove for renecdote/ @renecdote (Friends to Fiances | 10-20 min | General): The background noise of the movie and the warm weight of his best friend against his side is lulling Eddie towards a nap when Buck breaks the silence. “Do you want to get married?” “Sure,” Eddie answers sleepily. “Fall wedding?” “What?” Buck frowns, and Eddie realises: oh, he meant do I want to get married generally not to him specifically. Then Buck is asking, “Why fall?”

🔥 [podfic] do you love me? all you gotta do is say yes by All_I_Ask/ @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove for fleetinghearts/ @shitouttabuck (Outsider POV, Friends to Fiances | 30-45 min | Teen): or, two boy best friends and an ex lover walk into a grocery store. everyone is on their normalest behaviour.

OK with being OK [Podfic] by blackglass/ @blackestglass // fic by S_lycopersicum/ @slycopersicum-in-disguise (Post-S5, Coming Out | 10-20 min | Teen): Buck was about 10 minutes away from the firehouse when his phone pinged. "Message from Eddie Diaz," Hildy's too-smooth voice announced, and Buck laughed at how Eddie's face would scrunch at Hildy knowing his business. "Wait in your car when you get here. I need to talk to you before we go in" Oh shit.

🔥 [Podfic] rainbows have nothing to hide by slipofthetongue/ @burnthatbridge for hattalove/ @hattalove (Getting Together | 20-30 min | Teen): how is eddie diaz like kermit the frog? let buck and christopher count the ways. (Part 1 of the kermit verse)

🔥 [Podfic] Before the Night Fades by slipofthetongue/ @burnthatbridge // fic by MilenaDaniels/ @milenadaniels (Post-S4E14: Survivors, Outsider POV | 45-60 min | Teen): “I have a bottle of champagne, four champagne flutes, one engagement ring to go into one of those champagne flutes, and a note to deliver it all to table 34 with dessert,” Tomas explains, wide-eyed, throwing his hand back to the prep station where said champagne is waiting on ice next to four flutes and a small ring box. “Okay?” “Okay so there’s two men and two women and I have no idea who’s getting proposed to. I’m not even 100% on who came with who." --- Or, EddieAna and BuckTaylor double date and it ruins everyone's night.

🔥[Podfic] Close My Eyes and Stumble (Right Into Your Love) by Ceewelsh/ @mayonnaisetoffees // fic by HMSLusitania/ @hmslusitania (Canon Divergent, S1, Dispatcher Eddie | 2.5-3h | Mature): Eddie's PTSD is just that little bit worse and when he moves to Los Angeles, instead of joining the LAFD, he joins dispatch. Which is all good and fine, except for this one firefighter he keeps ending up talking to.

🔥[Podfic] i did, i did, i do by Ceewelsh/ @mayonnaisetoffees // fic by @hattalove (Canon Divergent | 30-45min | Teen): or the one in which, a couple of weeks after meeting each other, buck and eddie fell in love, broke up, and then forgot to fall out of it.

🔥The Evolution of Buddie [Podfics] by MistMarauder/ @gracieryder for InsaneJuliann/ @marvelingjules (Post-Shooting, Getting Together, Eddie Coming Out, Warning: Homophobia)

[Podfic] Someone Told Me Not to Cry (It's a Lie) (20-30min | Teen): Eddie's fine, he is. Really. He keeps telling himself that until he accidentally calls Buck in the middle of the night after a nightmare.

[Podfic] Just Bros being Bros (45-60min | Teen): It's totally normal to kiss your best friend on the cheek. Eddie has no idea why everyone keeps giving him looks and thinking there's more there.

[Podfic] I was Sinking (Somehow I Forgot) (45-60min | Teen): Eddie tries to figure out just what he may or may not be feeling for Buck. Really, it only leaves him with more questions than any actual answers. His mind keeps twisting around, unable to let him settle with any certainty.

[Podfic] Ready to Suffer, Ready to Hope (S3E18 | 45-60min | Teen): Buck's the one hurting this time, and Eddie wants to help, but he's not sure how, or if he even can. Maybe, he was wrong before. Maybe everyone was. Because clearly, Buck's not as over Abby as everyone seemed to think.

[Podfic] Hard to Learn to Love (45-60min | Teen): Buck's helping Eddie fix Abuela's porch. Eddie's pretty sure he's possibly going to do something stupid, because he can't stop thinking about how much he wants to kiss his best friend.

[Podfic] Someday (Gonna be Free) (45-60min | Teen): Karen points out to Eddie that maybe, his ideas of what a relationship has to look like are something he needs to reassess. She lends him a book, and before Eddie knows it, he's having one epiphany after another.

[Podfic] Bittersweet Triumph (1-1.5h | Teen): Eddie's parents drop by for an unexpected visit. The only thing Eddie can think to do is damage control. Eventually they'd leave, right? Eventually, he could relax again. But he's quickly reaching a breaking point, and he's not sure what'll be on the other side of it.

[Podfic] Pivotal Moment (1-1.5h | Teen): Eddie's stood up to his parents, but of course it can't be that easy. They're still in his house, and Eddie's just waiting for the other shoe to drop. He's frustrated, angry, scared even - and worried about so much at once he can't relax. It's not only leaving Eddie on edge, but Buck seems more and more tense, too.

[Podfic] Hello My Old Heart (1-1.5h | Teen): Eddie needs to check his parents have left - and either way, there's a lot he needs to work through about their visit. Good thing he has family, friends, and Buck to help him figure it all out. And maybe, it's time for him to start showing his hand more, with them all.

[Podfic] Unlearning Lonely After So Long (1-1.5h | Teen): It's the next morning, Buck's still there and making breakfast, and Eddie's realizing that while yeah, the list of things he needs to talk about - with Buck and others - definitely doesn't fill him with anything close to happiness, the rest of it? It's a kind of happiness he hasn't felt in a while.

[Podfic] The More Things Stay the Same (Getting Together | 30-45min | Teen): Eddie's realizing that, now that he's dating Buck, it's not that much different from before, really - except for the increased touching and kissing. That's new. Maybe that's why no one's caught on yet, and they're able to keep it to themselves for now.

🔥 Evan Buckley & The Coma-Verse of Madness by Daisies_and_Briars [Podfic]/@cal-daisies-and-briars by Rhea314 (Rhea)/ @rhea314 (Coma AU, Multiverse | 7-10h | Teen): After being struck by lightning on a call, Buck experiences a plethora of alternate realities showing him different directions his life could have taken. Fighting hard to get home, Buck learns what, or who, is important to him in every lifetime.

Re-Read

🔥 Ace of Hearts by glorious_spoon/ @glorious-spoon (Post-S6, Getting Together | 9K | Teen): "I've been wondering…" Maddie pauses, watches Buck make a face like he's bracing to be smacked. "What happened with Eddie? You two were dancing around it for so long, and then… what, it just didn't work out? Was the date really that bad?" She's expecting another wince, or even for him to duck out of the conversation entirely, but instead Buck is staring at her like she's grown a second head. "Maddie. I've never been on a date with Eddie." Or: the poker game was a date. It takes Buck a while to catch on, though.

🔥 all good things come to an end (but it's not the end) by wafflesofdoom/ @capseycartwright (Pre-S4, Quarantine, Friends with Benefits | 10K | Explicit): “Okay, hear me out,” Buck said. "What if we have sex?” Eddie could be forgiven for choking on his own breath, given how out of the blue Buck's suggestion was. “What?” “You’re my best friend," Buck gestured vaguely. "And in case you hadn’t noticed, we’re living through an actual plague right now, so neither of us is actually getting any. So who better to have sex with than each other?" - or, craving intimacy during quarantine, buck and eddie strike up a friends with benefits situation. because it couldn't possibly go wrong.

[mongeese]

Whenever I try to articulate the fact that my ideal partnership would be a best friend who I am committed to sharing a life with and who I also have sex with regularly my friends are like "that's just a regular relationship though!" But like, is it? Is it REALLY? Because sometimes I feel like the rest of the world is experiencing something that I just don't get. But also I've never seen anyone articulate what makes romantic love different from platonic love so maybe we're all just making it up as we go along. Idk. Feelings r weird

[fuckmeyer]

hey bestie i'm finally here with that essay about jacob fighting for bella's humanity w/o being a love interest bc the potential that has! he's set up to be the perfect avenue for it! he's the warmth and sun that she loved from arizona; he's the community and family she could be deeply enmeshed in w/ charlie and billy; he's a childhood friend who grew up (which bella's going to lose the potential to do if she becomes a vampire! and she's going to forget that past!); he's someone who fixes up old damaged cars instead of having perfect ones, and they aren't the *same* but they're still good...he's literally thematically everything best abt being human that bella will lose, AND examples of the negatives she sees in humanity, (all the times she thinks abt how the wolves are fragile in comparison to the vampires)...and it would just be SO fascinating to see that played out w/out the romance. it would honestly be even more powerful! bc baked into smeyer's worldbuilding is that vampires prioritize their romantic partners above everything else and having jacob be the true contrast to that where he's a platonic connection that bella genuinely values equally and she has to think abt how becoming a vampire would cut her off from the potential of connections like that!!! i am thinking so many thoughts

BESTIE thank you as always for dropping the Jacob love in my inbox!

you're so right about Jacob being the perfect avenue to explore Bella's doubt about vampirism! the warmth & family & community & LOVE & acceptance & nostalgia she loves about humanity is all embodied in Jacob's character & in their relationship. she likes hand-me-downs & homemade gifts! she likes acts of service! she likes reckless stunts that remind her of her own fragility & weakness! she likes warm sodas & spaghetti dinners! she likes being reminded that she belongs somewhere! & THIS IS JACOB <3

the fact that their relationship isn't utilized to this end (or any end, really) is my biggest problem with Eclipse. Bella drops little hints in the narrative that she's nervous about becoming a vampire. there are so many opportunities— e.g. when Rose tells her story— for her to reflect on what she's giving up.

in the end, she doesn't sum up the argument in a compelling way & doesn't make her choice in a believable way.

in part because the event that kicks off her grand realization that she's not ready (AKA THE CONFLICT OF HER ENTIRE SERIES ARC) is ...graduation

big life event as a catalyst seems to make sense. but how relevant is it to her narrative? & once it's brought up, we don't we see her digging into why she's nervous. what about saying goodbye makes her not ready? what about getting what she wants terrifies her? what does she need to sort through? what plans does she need to make? we're left to wonder what's running through Bella's mind re: the biggest decision of the series...in a first person narrative. no!!!

Jacob, who embodies all these ideals of her humanity, should be the one to push her to this realization. the climax of her internal conflict should be focused around him: losing him physically/emotionally (or both), & everything he represents. there is so much weight that her relationship with Jacob adds to her choice if she's allowed to love him and Edward unconditionally! as a romantic interest, all Jacob's doing is pushing her away.

(& that's why this whole fucking triangle makes no sense. he loves her so much he remembers her from early childhood. he loves her so much he'll sit there for months & pick up her broken pieces. he loves her so much he'll spend every moment just doing silly little hobbies together. he loves her so much he wants to fight for her humanity "until her heart stops beating" AND EVEN AFTER. but he doesn't love her enough to respect her choices or opinions? he doesn't love her enough to know that by being an asshole, he's pushing her closer to death? imo this is where we see stephie's grubby hands moving pieces. Jacob loves her more than he's in love with her.)

& so, because the "i'm not ready" realization is tied to something Bella doesn't give a shit about, the realization that she is ready is equally empty

what makes her decide she's ready to become a vampire is GUILT & FEAR & ANGUISH. she's "ready" to become a vampire because she feels weak & useless. worse, this realization is not touched on as the event (the training sesh) unfolds. she has this realization OFF-PAGE & then shows up to Edward's proposal like "yeah i'm ready to become a vampire but first i wanna fuck :)"

& we're supposed to buy that? girl, you resolved nothing internally. you didn't show us what changed for you. you're making this decision out of fear instead of out of love. & we're supposed to believe this is what little miss "thoughtful & responsible" wants???

it's such a blatant disregard to all the growth she went through & the relationships she developed. you can't just turn Jacob in a fucking asshole & turn the choice into a non-choice & call it day. Jacob deserves better, Bella deserves better, & the readers deserve better!!

MAKE 👏 EVERYONE 👏 SUFFER👏👏👏

(in the name of love!)

[batsarebetterthanpeople]

Ok here's the essay. Objectively speaking "I could be family"/"we're like family" is the kind of shit you say to a best friend you're letting down gently from the perspective of a straight allo person. Like I know the LGBT community gets weird about family because a lot of our biological families have abandoned us, but even then it's kind of weird for a rom com. Jim and Olu conceive of their relationship as familial, and also they fuck. They are in a QPR. Fight me these are two people who are not dating but are deciding to share their lives with each other and also are fucking. As for Archie, we never see Archie and Jim get terribly romantic. Archie makes out with them because Jim getting all sentimental is cute and then they just sort of attach to each other. That could be romantic but still theirs plausible deniability and Jim when talking about it is less like "yeah I'm in love with Archie" and more like "🥰boobs". I do in fact believe that Archie and Olu both are in romantic love with Jim but Jim is here to make friends and family and fuck and that is the fundamental tension that keeps them saying shit like "Olu and I are like family" and "what was that for" upon being kissed. This does not get in the way of them maintaining romance like connections with the people who they are close to because ultimately they still love these people enough to want to keep them close.

As for Calico Jack. I do often interpret him as being in love with Ed. HOWEVER the man can't even admit to liking him. @asneakyfox has discussed how the Ed/Jack/Anne/Mary polycule was definitely made canon in Mary and Ed's weed sesh, but was cut, possibly for time probably for the hand of the exec, and I agree with them whole heatedly. However I think that the glue that holds this polycule together is Jack and Ed's weird situationship where Ed wants a real boyfriend and Jack wants to do this weird secret third thing that is less gay and also much weirder than boyfriends, and of course Jack and Anne's drunk vegas wedding. Don't argue with me on that, look at them. They're still married now because matelotage doesn't have any exclusivity clause but in a modern au there is a subplot to be written where Anne and Mary have to chase down Jack and get him to sign divorce papers before they can get hitched. I don't have evidence for this but also I don't need it fucking look at them. Now that Stede has showed up the polycule has in fact become more stable, not broken up, in my humble opinion, because now Ed has someone he can be real boyfriends or maybe even husbands with which frees Jack up to run back and forth between the two couples being the go to threesome guy, which is in fact his ideal state of being. He's not dead David told me himself. Enter the mind palace with me.

Jim is the good aromantic cowboy holding the polycule together and Calico Jack is the evil aromantic cowboy holding the polycule together in this essay I will

[stillabeliever]

A Byler Analysis of Superache

Part 2: Movies, from will's POV

Movies, movies I want a love like the movies

will desperately wants to have a romantic relationship with mike like those he sees "in the movies"—situations where there is a happy ending and love is requited

I look at you like you're perfect for me

will literally does this all the time with his longing stares/pining over mike—he is so in love with him and truly does believe that mike is the only one for him. however, he does not believe this could ever be possible because mike is in a relationship with el, so he does not believe mike ever could truly be "perfect for him" because a romantic relationship with him seems impossible (which is why he says LIKE you're perfect for me)

If you are the diamond, then I am the ring All of our friends think of us jealously

will and mike appear from the outside to have an ideal friendship. Although mike has said that all members of the party are his best friends, there was likely some jealousy from lucas and dustin in the earlier years over will and mike's friendship given that it seemed to be closer than any other friendship in the party.

We're so sweet, so sweet Built us a world and I gave you the key

will and mike essentially created the party given that they met first/were friends the longest (since the first day of kindergarten), leading it to feel as if they created the life that they have and the unique friendship ("world") that the two of them share

Still can't believe that this isn't a dream

will is simply so in love with mike that he struggles to comprehend it; it feels like a dream that he's able to have someone in his life that he feels so connected to/himself with

Falling in love with a damn fantasy That's so me, so me

will isn't in love with the idea of mike, because he does truly know mike and truly love him for who he is, but rather, he's in love with his dreams of a relationship with mike. While he thinks that these could never become real, he still fantasizes about the possibility of being with mike

But I've been livin' Life in fiction

will constantly dreams about being with mike, but he tries to withhold these feelings and not actually express them around him. He is “living” in his head in these fantasies, but they are fiction, because in reality he is not in that relationship and treats mike as nothing more than a friend

In my head, we're dancing in the dark In my head, we kiss under the stars

this describes the relationship he constantly dreams about having with mike, which exists only in his head

But we know that's not what we're doing 'Cause, baby, this ain't like the movies

will understands that he has never had this relationship with mike, and he does not believe he ever can for a variety of reasons

Movies, movies I want a love like the movies

We go to parties with people you know We're holdin' hands but it's all just for show

while will and mike are not actually in a relationship and don't actually hold hands, this represents how they still appear to be friends to the outside world

'Cause Monday through Friday we both barely spoke

this represents how mike ghosted will after he moved and they've generally felt very distanced from one another since he started dating el, particularly s3 onward

They don't know, they can't know

will feels like others can't realize that he's having issues in his friendship with mike because these issues stem from the fact that will is in love with him, and will is terrified to come out to a world that will likely not be accepting of him

That just on the drive here, I was lookin' through your texts I was screamin' my damn head off how you still love your ex? And you say that it's over, but why does she call you At 3AM and 4AM? That's a funny way of stayin' friends

while this does not literally happen it is essentially representative of will and mike's s3 rain fight, which stemmed from will's frustration that mike was in a relationship with el

In my head, we're dancing in the dark In my head, we kiss under the stars But we know that's not what we're doing 'Cause, baby, this ain't like the movies In my head, we never grow apart

will and mike have obviously seemed to grow apart as they got older, and their friendship is far from what it used to be. will, however, wishes this was not the case—even if can't have mike romantically, he wants to at least be close to him as his best friend

In my head, you never break my heart

will fantasizes about a mike who never hurts him—one who does not constantly fight with him and blame him for his relationship issues while also appearing to not reciprocate his romantic feelings

But we know that's not what we're doing 'Cause, baby, this ain't like the movies

Movies, movies I want a love like the movies Movies, movies I want a love like the movies

Baby, we lost all this love that we had (movies, movies)

will feels that his and mikes friendship now lacks the love that they had for each other growing up because mike constantly pushes him away

And I can't pretend that it'll ever come back (I want a love like the movies)

it's clear to will that his relationship with mike is permanently changed, which results from both of their feelings for one another (even though will does not realize mike loves him). to will, it seems that he's lost the platonic friendship that he once had with mike—however, he doesn't know that his relationship with mike could instead become something more :)

And I think you're seeing right through me (movies, movies)

will's constant pining is not subtle, and he is so in love with mike that it's difficult to hide it. it's a miracle mike is so clueless because it isn't hard to figure out will's feelings for him—and will understands this. even if mike isn't seeing it, i would have to assume that many other characters are beginning to notice, like how jonathan has

But, baby, this ain't like the movies

And I want a love like the movies

part 1: movies, mike's pov

part 3: people watching, will’s pov

[iwatchedyougoinghomeeveryday]

Why Kevin and Sophie would be a disastrous endgame on This Is Us

I've been thinking about writing this post for, like, a year now, but with only 8 episodes left in the final season of This Is Us, I figured I should put my thoughts out there before the show's over! I'm not a Kevin and Sophie fan. I tried to like them in season 2, but every time Sophie came back, I was more and more convinced that their relationship would always represent the worst parts of their lives. In fact, their relationship as a tragedy is the most interesting thing about it. If the show concludes with them ending up together, I feel like that will be major regression in Kevin's character arc, the most disappointing part for me. So... yeah, I'm just gonna analyze the heck out of Kevin's relationships (okay, mostly Sophie) because no one has ever done that before, but I'm gonna put it under a "read more" so that shippers don't have to read all of my negativity!

When Sophie was first introduced as Kevin's surprising love from his childhood, I was excited to learn more about her. Who Sophie was, what her life was like, the nuances of their relationship (past and present), what their married life was like. The problem is that that never came. Seasons 1 & 2 were the perfect time to explore that depth and I felt like I learned nothing. Sophie's a nurse. Sophie was Kate's friend and that's how Kevin first knew her and they were together when they were, like, 10. She was a cheerleader in high school while Kevin was the star quarterback. Their marriage ended when Kevin cheated. Basic things... and that's it. I don't know why Kevin would love Sophie and Sophie would love Kevin. Beyond it being an intense childhood/first love, I don't know why they would be drawn to each other. They've had 6 seasons to give Sophie more depth and I still feel like I don't know much about her personality. And the problem with that is that Sophie feels like a symbol more than a person.

Compare Sophie to Kevin's other romantic interests: Madison, Zoe, Cassidy. We know who they are outside of their relationship with Kevin. We know their histories, their sense of humor, their depth. Sophie is just Kevin's great childhood love story. The idea of Sophie persists not just in Kevin's mind, but the show, too. We, the audience, are TOLD things about Sophie, never shown. We should care about her, not the idea of her, and that just hasn't happened. At least not for me. Even her friendship with Kate... we're told they were friends when they were in elementary school... and in all of the later times we see them together (teen versions and present) they never interact. I assumed they just grew apart after Sophie became closer with Kevin, but then this season, suddenly teen Kate and Sophie are best friends... and this conveniently happens when Kate has to keep a secret about Kevin's cheating from Sophie. Umm, no. You can't just show us their very first friendship scene so that the drama is heightened. And Kate suddenly reaching out to Sophie in the present? Okaaaay. I just can't buy it because when have we seen Sophie interact with Kate?! When have we seen her have a relationship with any non-Kevin Pearson?! Because she exists only as that symbol in Kevin's world. She deserves better, but that is what the writing has given her.

Which brings me to her relationship with Kevin. You know, Sophie existing as an idealized version of herself works great if that's where the show is taking her romance with Kevin. And honestly it has seemed like that for much of the show! Take Kevin's break-up with her in the second season. Kevin tells her he is just pretending - playing a part - and that he can't imagine a future with her. Take season 4, where Kevin attends her mom's funeral and they recollect on their relationship. They are mourning their memories of each other - their idealized selves - not who they actually are. This mourning of their relationship is the only time I felt emotionally invested in their story because it connected SO WELL with all of Kevin's character arc. Kevin's entire growth has depended on him letting go of the past - specifically, all that he has idealized, from his father's superhero status, to his perception of love, to even his career and what he deserves. This includes making peace with his mistakes (which includes his final fight with his father, his marriage with Sophie imploding) and working to be a better version of himself (helping Nicky when his father couldn't, seeking help for his alcoholism, finding new loves). Sophie is a symbol of the past and all of his mistakes. He should not have to go back. And Sophie deserves better, too.

And that's my point... I've said it multiple times now, but the characters deserve better. Their relationship ended horribly... twice. Even if I saw Kevin's arc as the complete reverse (that he should get the love story he always thought he wanted, that he should hold on to those things from the past), then I would still not want them together because of all of the pain that is there. Kevin is better now. If he ends up with Sophie, how could he ever exist as that improved person? He'd just be reminded of all of his mistakes. And Sophie should have more self-respect than to get back with an ex that burned her this many times.

Overall, I also just think that first loves are too romanticized. People grow. Sometimes they work, but a lot of the time they were right for the time, but not right later on. Kevin and Sophie are the epitome of this. They might've had genuine love as teenagers, but that childhood love is not the same as compatible adult love. It's hard work. And Kevin and Sophie getting married when they did... I don't even see that as the right time for them to get married. Kevin had just lost his father, was swimming in grief, and felt like he was losing all stability. Marriage to Sophie was a way to force that stability. It was not a surprise that their marriage had bumps from the start. Compare them to Randall and Beth at that same period, who were only together for a short time in comparison but had WAY better communication and respect for each other. Heck, compare that to Malik and Deja now, who are a lot more mature in navigating their relationship. Those are first loves that work. Kevin and Sophie... they aren't it.

Mostly I just felt like we got closure for Kevin's romantic arc in season 4. That season 4 episode with Sophie? That was closing the book on them for me. So to still have Kevin's love life be a big mystery in the last episodes is kind of annoying because I thought we already solved this in season 4?! It was better written then, too. Sighhhhh. Okay, I've ranted enough. Just wanted to put that out there because I feel like these next few episodes will make this super, super relevant. Again, I wanted to like Sophie. I don't have anything against Alexandra (I think her chemistry with Justin is good), but the character/relationship itself is just everything I dislike about these toxic first love romances. I feel about Kevin/Sophie the way I do about Lorelai/Christopher... and that is an awful comparison for me to make. lol

In case anyone wants to know my biases... I love Kevin and Madison - love their energy/humor, how they can relate to each other's darkness, their comfort and openness, the strangers/written-in-the-stars-together storyline. I also really liked Kevin's relationship with Zoe, which felt like his first "adult" relationship. They were fun and still had that great communication. I like Cassidy, but not as a love interest. I don't like that they forced a romantic plot between the two because they were great as just friends. Well... can't wait for this show to disappoint me so I can come back with another rant post!!!

[astorythatwritesitself]

OC interview

Stealing from @commander-krios because why not xD No-pressure tagging @mxanigel @wintersstreams & @korblez ! Take the questions and answer them in-character as an OC of choice!

{Takes place post Omega 4, pre-Arrival}

name ➔ Adrian Olivier Shepard II. ... my parents were... very starry-eyed over the idea of being among the first to establish their legacy away from Earth.

are you single ➔ No. It... still feels a little wild saying that. -grins-

are you happy ➔ More than I thought I'd be.

are you angry ➔ More than I'd like to be.

are your parents still married ➔ Yes- just celebrated their thirty-second anniversary as a matter of fact.

NINE FACTS

birthplace ➔ The SSV Victoria, somewhere in... the Hades Gamma cluster?

hair colour ➔ Brown

eye colour ➔ Brown that's frequently mistaken as black.

birthday ➔ Going by Earth's calendar: April 11th, 2154.

mood ➔ Not bad, but exhausted and vaguely lost- but that's pretty much been my answer since about Eden Prime.

gender ➔ (Editor's note: preceeded by about three minutes of silence) ... I genuinely don't know how to answer that one right now. Sometimes? I guess??

summer or winter ➔ Haven't experienced either enough to have a firm opinion, but summer seems more appealing on the whole.

morning or afternoon ➔ Afternoon, or whenever there's more people up and about. ... I'm starting to come around to mornings, though.

EIGHT THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE

are you in love ➔ Yes, and it's still a little terrifying. Wouldn't trade it for anything.

do you believe in love at first sight ➔ I've been informed that no less than three people will violently oppose my answering anything other than 'yes', but: I certainly believe in intense attraction and infatuation at first sight. Love itself takes some time.

(Unidentified voice: 'Must I remind you of Dr. Solus' Illium report?' unquote.)

who ended your last relationship ➔ Eh... well, however you define 'relationship', it was me. It's just a matter of whether we're talking 'kicked out of bed' or...

... no, we'll just. We'll just count that first one.

have you ever broken someone’s heart ➔ I don't think so. Let people down? Absolutely, but I don't think it ever veered into outright heartbreak? I hope not.

are you afraid of commitments ➔ I can't say 'yes'. I can't say 'no', either.

have you hugged someone within the last week? ➔ Yes.

have you ever had a secret admirer ➔ Do we count 'never outright said anything but literally everyone could tell'?

have you ever broken your own heart? ➔ More than once.

SIX CHOICES

love or lust ➔ Both. Both are good.

lemonade or iced tea ➔ Tea with enough lemon it could qualify as both.

cats or dogs ➔ Honestly they both kind of freak me out. I'm sticking with fish. (Unidentified voice: 'You've gotten upset over not getting to keep one of those creepy-ass barreleye fish, normal pets should not freak you out')

a few best friends or many regular friends ➔ A few best friends, quality over quantity. Not saying no to any friendships, though!

wild night out or romantic night in ➔ Ideally, split the difference for a romantic night out, but of the given choices... night in. We don't get nearly enough real downtime.

day or night ➔ Either one, though I don't get to truly experience either much.

FIVE HAVE YOU EVERS

been caught sneaking out ➔ A few times when my family lived on the Citadel, there haven't been a ton of opportunities otherwise.

fallen down/up the stairs ➔ Look, when you're trying to run from something like a charging krogan, survival is key and there shouldn't be any judgement-

(Unidentified voice: 'Yes. To both. On multiple occasions.')

wanted something/someone so badly it hurt? ➔ Gods yes, to both.

wanted to disappear ➔ Honestly? I've only just hit a point where I'm okay with this whole 'continuing to be alive' thing, wanting to disappear has been a constant for a while.

FOUR PREFERENCES

smile or eyes ➔ Eyes. Anyone can fake or hide a smile, but if you know what to look for, you can always see it in the eyes.

shorter or taller ➔ Close to even with me, really, strong difference either way is kind of a turn-off.

intelligence or attractive ➔ I want to say 'intelligence', but again, promise of violent retaliation... though really, it's hard to maintain attractiveness without the brains or personality to back it up. (But goddamn, when you're handed beauty itself, gift-wrapped in tight leather- *transcript cut*)

hook-up or relationship ➔ Relationship now, but historically I was more into casual hook-ups. Soldier and minimal romantic leanings, you know?

FAMILY

do you and your family get along ➔ On the whole. There's been some friction, but who doesn't have that?

would you say you have had a “messed up life” ➔ It probably answers this and a few other questions that I heard this as, 'would you say you have messed up your life'. Yes to that one- but on the whole, everything was pretty okay until I was like, twenty-three.

have you ever run away from home ➔ No, but considering the only option I had to run to was 'the infinite cold void of space', that's not saying much.

have you ever gotten kicked out ➔ No.

FRIENDS

do you secretly hate one of your friends ➔ No, but I wouldn't consider someone I hate to be a friend in the first place. I can be civil towards people I hate, but that isn't the same as what I'd call friendship.

do you consider all of your friends good friends ➔ There are a few who fall more into the range of... 'work friend' than someone I'd hang out with on shore leave.

who is your best friend ➔ That's a category, not a single person, and there's six I can think of off the top of my head.

[isthisitbytaylornicole]

"is this it?" BLOG POST #1: hey, you! meet adulthood. the ghetto, if you will...

Author's Note:

First of all, welcome to my blog! It feels so surreal to be saying that because this is something I have wanted to do for so long, but fear, laziness, and "plans" kept me from doing so. I am so happy that you have decided to take time out of your day to sit and read my post. I'm so excited to be able to share these stories with you all about my dirty little cousin, Adulthood. She doesn't mean any harm, she just doesn't know any better. Trust me. I hope you are intrigued by what I have to say and I would love to chat with you in the comments about these topics. Enjoy!

"Don't you find it odd, that when you're a kid, everyone, all the world, encourages you to follow your dreams. But when you're older, somehow they act offended if you even try."

-Unknown (The Hottest State)

I can say, without hesitation, that I was not fully prepared for what adulthood had to offer. She came without remorse, but made sure to bring all sorts of debt, the occasional iffy encounter, and topped it all off with a micro-aggression or two (or ten). In these instances where I was thrown into situations dealing with money, racism, self-identity, relationships, etc., how did I handle these episodes with minimal detrimental impact on my inner psyche? The answer; I didn't because I didn't know how to.

I vividly remember the process of applying to colleges, final senior presentations, deciding what school I wanted to go to, all while being molded in the belief that college was the best option, if not the only option, for young, black, teenagers, like myself, who wanted to be successful. Please don't misunderstand me when I say this. I definitely agree with the fact that as young adults we should be able to take advantage of all the opportunities given to us including continuing an education at a four-year institution and experiencing all that college has to offer like social engagements and freshmen fifteen. However, I do not believe that is the only way to solidify success in a society where situations like going to a four year conventional university have become the norm. While we are molded into believing a four-year college is one of only three options for teenagers of color [the other options being pregnancy or prison as stereotype culture has taught us] we are limited in the knowledge of only knowing how to make it TO college, and not how to be successful THROUGHOUT and beyond college and I am a prime example.

Due to the stigma of black high school dropouts, often times, high schools in cities like Detroit (who primarily house students of African decent) strive for one-hundred percent high school graduation and college acceptance rates ,as apposed to, one-hundred percent college fulfillment and graduation rates. In other words, they don't care how you get home from the party, as long as you were invited. And I mean who can blame them?! While primarily white high schools with students trying to decide if they want to attend either Harvard or Yale are spitting out graduates left and right, primarily black high schools can't even get scantron sheets on time for their junior students to take the SAT, which is it supposed to be an equal opportunity test for all students, accept those with brown skin of course. (This happened at my high school btw.)

Then I get to college only to see that all of my professors are old, white, dirty men, which is not in fact the demographic I grew up within. Is this it? Is this what my parents are paying almost forty-thousand dollars a year for? Is this your King?! 👨🏼‍🏫Well, I'm here now and I guess I need to stick this out. Never mind being one of only four black students in an intro to political science class of almost forty-five. Never mind having a black roommate who didn't know if she wanted to be Ebony or Ivory that day. Her white boyfriend did tell me I had nice skin one day which was nice of him. Never mind me working at the McDonald's right across the street from my dorm my freshman year where almost everyday somebody I knew would come and try to get free food from me. (That didn't really have anything to do with my hardships during my time at college, but it was irritating trying not to get caught smuggling cookies and McFlurries out of the store every other day. I was too nice obviously.) Never mind having to refrain from using any kind of ebonics in order to fit into conversations and/or lectures about political science topics in order to sound more professional and educated to my white peers and professors (A.K.A code switching😶‍🌫️ 🎛). Overall, the majority of my time spent inside the college classroom setting was often done in ways that involved me faking it until I made it, until I didn't make it.

I dropped out of college at the end of my sophomore year and at the time it seemed like my biggest failure. Not only did I feel like I failed myself, I felt like I failed my family and closest friends and quite literally I failed most of my classes😬. Not to mention the thousands of dollars in student loans left for me to pay back which was bound to happen anyways but that is a totally different conversation for another post. (Sallie Mae better hope she don't catch these hands.) I felt like, as do most young adults my age, there was a timeline on my success. If I didn't get that college degree in four years, and have a car and apartment by twenty, my life had no worth. This narrative was brought on not only by my school environment growing up, but it was brought on by the climate that we live in today. As young people, we are so easily influenced by pop culture, social media, YouTube, sports media, our peers, music and so many other ideals constantly bombarding our everyday lives. We're shown these unrealistic almost fantasy-like scenarios in which all you have to do it make a prank video in order to make money and once you have money, fame, and a VLONE shirt, boom, you have worth! Why am I rushing to fulfill these egregious standards set by these dull influencers who can't even spell egregious. Success does not have only one definition. To me, success is defined by your own standards and not society's. And college is not a one stop shop!

The picture of adulthood has been painted so monochromatically that I have at times lost my ability to dare to dream bigger than what has been laid before me with society's crusty hands. Yes I plan on finishing my education at a four year college, but at the time, my college experience would not have allotted me the opportunity to discover the world of Cyber Security and the many job opportunities and networks I've been exposed to.

All in all, take advantage of ALL the opportunities you encounter whether they are laid out in front of you or even if you have to network to find them.

This was just a piece of the perspectives I am excited to offer as I continue to share my stories in this world of blogging and rediscovery. I hope I didn't scare any of you off already because in my next blog piece I will be diving into more aspects of adulthood and the whole notion of relationships(romantic and non); do we really need them tho? and how do we weed out the bad ones and water the fruitful ones?

PLEASE TUNE IN ON TUESDAY FOR MY NEXT INSTALLMENT OF "IS THIS IT?" BY TAYLOR NICOLE AND THANK YOU FOR READING!💛

By: Taylor Nicole

LEAVE YOUR THOUGHTS AND COMMENTS BELOW! I WOULD LOVE TO CHAT.💛

[365days365movies]

April 4, 2021: The Great Dictator (Review)

It's a 100%. Haven't given one of those in a while!

Here's the thing: this is a great film. Hang the comedy bit, even though it's also a very funny film! This is a great movie, no questions. I actually have no problems with it, and barely any actual commentary, gonna be honest. Fact of the matter is, it's essentially perfect in my book. Maybe it's not actually flawless...but I'm having a lot of trouble seeing any flaws. If you've got any, PLEASE tell me! I'm curious, really.

But OK, why am I even writing this, then? Because I want to close out this Golden Era of Comedy with a post about the end of its biggest star, Charlie Chaplin. Because from here...things are all downhill. And the seeds of that journey can be seen in this film. So, in other words, this post is a film history post. WELCOME TO SCHOOL

Yeah, sorry. If you like these history posts, I hope you like this one! And if not...yeah, that's entirely fair. Go ahead and skip this one! The next movie is Arsenic and Old Lace, so I'll save you the trouble of scrolling down! See you next time!

...

...OK, you still here? Cool, let's do this. Go ahead and "keep reading" for more on Chaplin after this film!

Review: Charlie Chaplin

Chaplin's walking on air, at least in terms of his film career! The Great Dictator will become his best-received film critically, and was a smash-hit in the United States. But that's pretty heavily contrasted with the reception of, well, Chaplin himself. Because unfortunately for him, Chaplin's ideologies would soon VIOLENTLY clash with that of his adopted country of the United States.

First things first, his love life was a mess, as was typical for the film star. His latest significant other was actress Joan Barry, and they separated bitterly (AKA, the only was Chaplin separates from anybody), after having a child together. This relationship would begin the downfall of Chaplin's image, starting in 1942. And that would be due to one of the most irritating, shitty dudes in the history of the FBI: J. Edgar Hoover.

Hoover HATED Chaplin, mostly because he was suspicious of him, as he was with EVERYBODY. Fuck Hoover, by the way, dude was a monster. He was also an INSANE patriot, bordering on straight up nationalism. But his hatred of Chaplin revolved around the fact that Chaplin's views were...controversial. I mean, Modern Times was an anti-industrialist film, and that's what the USA was ALL ABOUT at the time. And then, there's...one more thing. I'll get there.

Hoover launched a smear campaign against Charlie, and the Barry case was saddled with an additional allegation: violation of the Mann Act, which stated that it was illegal to transport women across state lines for sexual reasons. It was an attempt to stifle prostitution, and part of a massive moral panic of the time period. It was a bullshit charge, and Chaplin escaped it in trial. But damage had been done to his reputation, and Charlie was about to make it worse.

Shortly after, in 1943, Chaplin would meet his last wife, Oona O'Neill. She was 18, he was 54. Fuckin' OOF, dude. And in 19 years, the two would have EIGHT CHILDREN JESUS FUCKING CHRIST CHAPLIN!!!

Anyway, other than this positive development, the Barry trial had beaten the shit out of him, will-wise. But he began developing a new ambitious film project in 1946, which was called Monsieur Verdoux. This was a black comedy about a bank clerk/serial killer that killed women for money. Which is obviously pretty controversial in a moral panic-stricken America, but that was made worse by Chaplin more overtly expressing his political views...which were violently anti-capitalism! In post-World War II America!

Uh-oh.

In 1947, with the release of Monsieur Verdoux, the film was legit booed at the premiere in the USA. Fuck. Tensions finally came to a head, and Chaplin was "outed" as a filthy, filthy commie! And I put "outed" in quotes because, well...he wasn't. Sure, Chaplin was against capitalism and military nationalism, as well as sympathizing with communist ideals in some cases. He was also friends with suspected communists, and with Soviet diplomats. And that shit's barely OK NOW amongst a pretty big proportion of people in the country. In 1947? WAY FUCKIN' WORSE.

Chaplin was "dangerous and amoral" according to the FBI, and he probably believed in equal rights for minorities too, the FILTHY FUCKIN' COMMIE!!! But, yeah, he was targeted by Joseph McCarthy and the House Un-American Activities Committee, and was nearly listed as one of the Hollywood Ten, a group of filmmakers blacklisted from Hollywood for alleged communist activities. Chaplin escaped that, but was still a major target for the Red Scare.

Chaplin, not giving a fuck as always, now decided upon a new project. Limelight was a semi-autobiographical film, in which he played an aging former vaudeville actor who had lost his popularity and fame, and falls in love with a younger woman. On the nose as always, Chaplin. Also, that's Buster Keaton in the GIF up there! Only time the two ever appeared on screen. Neat, huh?

Chaplin went home to the UK for the film's well-publicized premiere in 1952. And that's when the US Attorney General STRUCK, revoking Chaplin's VISA, and trapping him overseas permanently. Chaplin was banned from the United States, through really shitty underhanded tactics. Fuck, man. Worst part is, it's since been proven that there was no good justification for the VISA to be revoked. But the damage was done, and Chaplin willingly cut his ties with the United States, having been spurned by his adopted country for years.

Loved in Europe and hated in America, Charlie continued making films, with his next film being another semi-autobiographical parody called A King in New York. He also came out not as a communist, but as a straight-up anarchist! He hated government altogether at this point, and it's hard to blame the guy. He really did get screwed. But, ironically, his love life was now quite stable, and his marriage with Oona was happy, by all accounts.

His films were banned in the United States, and Chaplin banned them right back, not releasing his films there, and preventing American journalists from attending its premiere. But even ten years later, Chaplin's filmography began to re-emerge for movie audiences, and his popularity began to rebound. The man was just that good, what can I say? Chaplin made a romantic comedy in 1967, called A Countess from Hong Kong, and starring Marlon Brando of all people! It was his first color film, and...it did NOT go well with audiences, ANYWHERE. It just wasn't well-received, and that film would be Chaplin's last.

In 1967, Chaplin had his first stroke of many. He continued his marriage with Oona, and even continued making another film called The Freak, an ambitious project from what's known about it. Basically, it was about a South American girl with wings, which is interesting. In 1972, after 20 years away, Chaplin was welcomed back to the United States with open arms, and was given an Honorary Academy Award for his insane contribution to the medium since the Golden Age of Hollywood. He was given a 12-minute standing ovation, the longest ever given at an Academy Award ceremony.

Still planning on making his film, he returned home. But the film went on a permanent hiatus by 1977, by which time his health had badly declined. On Christmas Day, 1977, Chaplin was found dead, having suffered a stroke in his sleep. He was 88 years of age, and was buried two days later in Switzerland. And THEN...he was dug up.

Yeah, DUDE'S GRAVE WAS FUCKIN' ROBBED! A couple of guys held Chaplin's corpse for ransom, which didn't work out for them, and he was reburied a few days later, this time in a reinforced concrete vault, where his remains remain to this day.

Charles Spencer Chaplin is one of the greatest actors and filmmakers of his time, and didn't deserve the guff he got from the government. The guff he got from his wives...eh, that he probably did deserve, not gonna lie. Dude wasn't the best husband, or the best dad to at least three of his kids. But in an ongoing effort to separate the art from the artist, Chaplin needs to be appreciated for the mountain of talent that he was, and his films will make him immortal in the annals of film history. Long live the Tramp.

But with him and his influence, the film industry had a place to evolve from, especially in terms of comedy. After The Great Dictator, some comedies felt the freedom to take a bit of a darker tone. And from here on out, we're splitting the timeline by genre, tracking comedy films by the evolution of their respective genres. And we start in 1944, with a film about...MYURDERRRR!!! And sweet old ladies!

April 5, 2021: Arsenic and Old Lace (1944), dir. Frank Capra

[infinitelynicolaan]

A quick reading for tonight's Full Moon [if it resonates 🙏]

😶😶 We got "The Moon" for Full Moon 😁

Here we go!

CAREER/GOALS: if you are working on a task and/or planning to achieve something, you are either anxious or emotionally unstable right now which isn't serving you the "right energy" that will give you an ideal result. Remember that what you do and what you try to project reflect your condition. When you work and wait for an outcome, practice breathing and avoid negative thinking. Also it is best to lean on a friend, be guided with helpful words of encouragement so you become inspired and motivated.

LOVE/RELATIONSHIP: we aren't just talking about the romantic sphere of this, we have Love here in general. Are you in a bad mood? have you been secretly crying that you just want to ignore everyone around you because you can't talk about your "problems"? Well, this is actually the time to surround yourself with your loved ones, even if things have been tough and you better keep quiet about it. At least appreciate the presence of those who care for you, feel their Love and how they decorate your life, in this way really you can actually consider the fact that you do not just live for your problems alone. You have a life full of Love!

SELF: I feel like we're all in this period of searching and waiting for answers because yes there are things that we do not always understand for the reasons that we are afraid to believe and we are being impatient. Dear, the answers are sometimes in the questions and if you do not see them yet, don't worry, this period of Full Moon will deliver the message you've been waiting for and it comes in a lot of forms and ways. Just have faith in the process of who you are becoming and where your life leads you. ....

"Gently" this word spoke in my mind twice tonight so I guess, this is all about staying gentle and peaceful, even in these moments of so much confusion and frustration. Cliche as it sounds but we do always have to remember not to be so hard on ourselves. There is an omnipotent Light that protects us all and light is what we will see at the end of this messy tunnel.

I believe in you 💕

-Love and #Crystal Light🌟

Nicola An

[lovesquareshippingtrash]

From worst (or, in your case, least good) to best, how would you rank all the sides of the Love Square?

Okay, let's get into it! Gonna be another long one. First gotta decide what we mean by worst/least good/best. I'm thinking we could be talking as actual relationships for the characters, like, how healthy they are, and also my own personal preference for stories. So hey, let's do both!

K, healthiness first. I'll throw out to start that, obviously, none of them are ideal because of all the secrets and how they know the other person in their other identity, so like, post-reveal is obviously best. Also, gotta note, this is based purely on canon rather than any fanfiction potential version, because they absolutely all CAN be written equally healthily.

So at the bottom is Ladrien. They have an inherent imbalance with one as a civilian and one a hero, and they also have the least developed relationship of any side. They're of course friendly, having interacted during a number of akuma attacks, but they've never had any real down time to interact. They also each have overblown feelings for the other, which they can't explain to each other because they come from their alternate identities. Blushing and blushing alone is not the foundation for a good relationship.

Next up is Marichat. It has a number of the same issues as Ladrien - namely, the imbalance and the fact that they can't fully explain how they feel about each other or their proper level of familiarity. But this is tempered by how much calmer they are with each other. There's also the fact that, while they've been involved in akuma attacks together, they've also socialised together much more, with the two Glaciator episodes and Weredad. Of course, neither of them actually consciously wants to pursue a relationship with the other, which tends to be a hindrance, but they'd be at a healthier place to start than Ladrien. I should also point out how, while they have socialised, especially as of season 4, it's certainly a lot less than fanon likes to think. Many Marichat fans expected Glaciator to be a huge romantic moment for the side, but then Cat Noir barely expresses recognition for Marinette. He doesn't regularly come to hang out on her balcony, and certainly not in her room. We've almost certainly seen all of the times this has happened in canon.

So then we've got Ladynoir and Adrienette, and it's tough. They're much more balanced, either both heroes or both civilians. Both pairs know each other very well, either as partners and pretty much best friends, or else as classmates and still very close friends. These have imbalance because of the feelings being more one-sided - although after 4 seasons I think they most certainly have feelings for the alter egos that they don't want to admit. In each case, the person who has acknowledged feelings for the other has acted very UNhealthily in regards to the other. Marinette's obsession with Adrien and his "perfection" is a major issue, and Cat Noir's consistently failed to respect boundaries. Adrienette also feels like it's been written wildly inconsistently, far more than the other sides. In some episodes, say, Anansi, they are very close friends, even if in a group of four, but to the point that with a few dialogue tweaks I could EASILY believe they were in a relationship in this episode. Marinette spends more time talking to Adrien, and then she's holding the phone later, while he looks up at his ceiling just to make it look to the people in the room like he's looking up at Marinette. Then in the next season we get Puppeteer 2, where we're lead to believe they've still barely ever spoken to each other, and Adrien seems to think Marinette actively dislikes him. All this would have made more sense immediately after Origins, not after the class picnic where he called her the Everyday Ladybug and she kissed him on the cheek and thanked him. So we have to take Adrienette with a grain of salt (heh, but let's not get too salty).

Despite the writing and continuity issues, I'm going to say Ladynoir is second, and Adrienette is healthiest. I think Marinette's obsessiveness, and her difficulties interacting with Adrien, have gotten much better as time has gone on, helped in part by her attempts to get over him, and taking more time to listen. In Risk, Adrien claimed that Marinette was the only one who understood him - and at school that was certainly true, with even his proclaimed best friend assuming Adrien would be thrilled to go on a world tour for several months, despite how Adrien has fought tooth and nail to be allowed to go to school and have some semblance of a normal childhood since the start of the show. In contrast, Cat Noir has not progressed as much in regards to respecting Ladybug's boundaries. The conversation they had during the climax of Glaciator 2 was big, but they have their other issues as teammates, and him feeling left out of the loop, to the point that instead of talking to her about the issues, he'd simply renounce Plagg and return his Miraculous.

K NOW LET'S GET TO THE FUN KISSY KISSY SHIPPY STUFF

My order of preference is much easier. Marichat comes in a resounding dead last. Like, I don't hate them being friends, though it irks me when fics and other fan works treat their socialising as a given rather than establishing it properly, but romantically? Noooo. Setting aside the fact that Adrien is absolutely developing feelings for Marinette, and Ladybug for Cat Noir, when they're in their other guise that's FAR less prominent. Weredad showed how awkward it would be. Glaciator 2 was the first time where it felt to me like them so much as hanging out could be a natural thing. It's just not what I'm here for.

Next is Ladynoir. Ladynoir I probably mostly feel neutral on. You can absolutely do a lot of fun stuff with it, but I'm not compelled to seek it out.

Then we get Ladrien, because while blushies aren't a good foundation for a healthy relationship they're SO FREAKING CUTE. All the best ships have blushies and this is the blushiest of them all. There's a reason I wrote a whole slowburn secret relationship fic focused on Ladrien. They like each other SO MUCH but they can't fully express is because identities but they're so soft and precious!

But I still like Adrienette more. Because they're also soft! I just like them getting to be normal kids and do normal kid stuff who just HAPPEN to be superheroes. In my ideal world, Miraculous would be a slice of life story about these kids who happen to be superheroes and do hero stuff and have identity shenanigans, but the hero stuff would never really be the main plot. Heck, maybe there wouldn't be a recurring main supervillain I dunno. But Adrien is so soft and sweet and so patient with Marinette, and when her affection isn't obsessive and creepy, it's such a joy, and Adrien needs and deserves so much love for WHO HE IS, because Marinette doesn't care about the model, or the rich perfect son, or whatever else, she cares about who he is beneath all that. And Adrien recognises how incredible Marinette is in all she does, and they just... my heart. How long do you think it would have taken for Adrien to declare his love for Marinette and for them to be such an adorable supportive couple if they weren't heroes and he hadn't fallen for Ladybug first? Honestly, probably too soon because they both had so much growing to do, but fanfiction doesn't have to worry about that, in fanfiction they can just be PRECIOUS!

So thank you, if you're still here, for reading my manifesto. Let's sum up. TL;DR:

Least to most healthy as a romantic relationship were it to happen in canon: 1. Ladrien 2. Marichat 3. Ladynoir 4. Adrienette BONUS 5. Post-reveal

Least to most preference for fanfiction and other content as a romantic relationship: 1. Marichat 2. Ladynoir 3. Ladrien 4. Adrienette

For that one, post-reveal is fine, although fics featuring the reveal are at 5.

[heiyodream]

Yes, I think so too! I think getting together much, much earlier (which is because they made up early too) will change the dynamics of Anne and Gilbert, especially how Anne's romantic notion is and about her ideal man. It's definitely different having your first relationship with the man of your dreams then your real one both of which start when you are over twenty, by starting your first, most likely only relationship with your real man at sixteen.

I think when they got together, Anne still hadn't even made up her mind about her melancholic Byronic hero with inscrutable eyes (I'm always a little amused at this part, like WHY ON EARTH he must be inscrutable-eyed?), then she met and fell in love with Gilbert who was, well, kind and honest and handsome and many things, but also in one way or another, still an ordinary boy who can get angry, lost, and grieve. Yet, he was completely human with bones and skin to spend life with.

The path they went on couldn't have been not messy, I know, considering how young they were getting together and rushing into a long distance relationship, then having to wait a long time before the wedding. Nevertheless, it's still growth that will be interesting to watch. In the books, Anne and Gilbert have five years of yeah-you-know, four years of friendship, two years of tension, and three years of engagement. At AWAE, they had a few months of not being friends, about a year of 'truce', about a year and a half of friendship, and a minimum of four years of courting, if we're going to follow the three-year-engaged groove. I actually like the fact that they're going to be courting for a long time--in the books, I understand why they jump right into engagement, they were older and more prepared and all. However, there's a difference when you're dating someone compared to you just being friends with them.

I also think AWAE! Anne really caught a lot of Marilla's common sense and firmness than the books version, so she is less preoccupied with daydreaming anymore. Plus, I believe when the Story Club shack got destroyed, it's basically kind of symbolic of a finished of sweet childhood daydreams and a sign that Anne and co. should move on to the next stage of life, which is college! And romance, haha.

There's a very beautiful quote from @writergirl8's post-canon Shirbert fanfic on AO3 (which you all must read because it describes character studies and the long journey from Anne's growth with Gilbert through their relationship to the aisle). This is the quote, spoken by 22/23 years old Gilbert and 21 years old Anne.

“I've never wanted you to have to settle,” he says, looking away from her. “You had all of these… ideas when we were younger, these things you wanted to do. If there is any chance that you would be able to do them…” He trails off, knowing he doesn't need to finish the sentence, nor does he want to.

“Girlhood daydreams and fantasies are wonderful.” Anne's voice is delicate and contemplative as she moves her hand to cover his. "But they don't have the reality of you. My wonderful best friend. A kindred spirit. And I by far prefer that, you know.”

Girlhood daydreams and fantasies are wonderful. But they don't have the reality of you. My wonderful best friend. A kindred spirit.

I basically cried while reading that paragraph because THAT shows Anne's incredible growth.

What's a little funny, in the book, Diana and Anne fantasize about a lookalike man, then Anne gets a little weird feeling when Diana and Fred get engaged because Fred is, well, just Fred. But Diana's first not-so-so-romantic relationship in AWAE was Jerry, who was neither Fred nor the man of dreams. I wonder how the relationship changed Diana's perception of romance. Would she feel 'missed out', even though she was the long-suffering captain of the Shirbert, because Anne had started courting before herself?

Something I think about a lot was how when Anne found her dream boy, she ended up rejecting him.

Roy Gardner was everything young Anne dreamed of in a man. Romantic, wrote her poems and brought her flowers. Even how they met was something out of her favourite novel- to make her feel like her own heroine !!.

But she still turned him down. Why? I asked myself. He was the perfect guy. He wasn't pretentious about it. He's well liked too. Why? I turned the page and realised.

Gilbert was human. Roy felt like a fever dream, the whisper of youth. Blythe felt like forever, someone she could constantly match her wits to. Gardner was a blast of fresh air on a hot day. But Blythe? Blythe was the palm tree that shaded her. Constant. Unwavering. Anchoring Anne.

I like to believe THATS when Anne outgrew her fantasy of living everything like the characters in her books- or she would've picked Roy.

[torgawl]

i definitely agree with you. i think everything you said is accurate. nevertheless, i also believe we're just referring to things by different names and that what you wrote, what i intentionally meant and how this post has been interpretated so far aren't necesseraly mutually exclusive.

first of all, i think it was very clear that when i used the word "love" it was in a very broad definition and not directly romantic and/or platonic towards people. i meant towards ideals, life itself and whatnot. it really comes to personal choice and interpretation here but what isn't about love? one can say love is in everything in this world and one can debate it's not. and well, clearly i created this post with the former in mind. it was never meant to devalue the impact of tragic hapoenings or unjust circumstances in everyone. and it was never exclusively about interpersonal relationships. so, again, i think it's safe to say your opinion is very much a fact. it just happens my original thought was almost using love and humanity interchangeably. but of course, you don't have to agree with linguistic choices like that.

in the end of the day i do believe geto and gojo's connection was important in jjk and that their care for each other was shown for each other throughout the series despite the moral duty of the task gojo was assigned with. and even in that specific scene it's safe to say they both expressed it. i do think geto's unwillingness to convince gojo to join his path despite explaining to him the position he was in and gojo's overall disappointment and desire to continue to be together demonstrate fondness. and although in that moment in front of kfc it was probably not the time or place to procede with this duty to kill geto, he had 10 years to do so. but he never did. one can arguable discuss why. if fondness for the other is an option? maybe. if gojo obviously has a reason to be so shocked in shibuya seeing his dead best friend's body appear in front of him? oh, definitely. how trauma triggering must it have been?! but is it not affection when he addresses suguru directly and asks him how he allows this stranger to use his body? is it not affection when he revives all those moments he spent with suguru in his head? when he recognizes that person isn't his best friend but someone else ignoring even the thing he relies on the most which is his power? i personally believe it is. and i don't think it has to be romantic or the exclusive and main driver of the story to be appreciated.

regarding yuuta and rika, i think you're correct. rika is a projection. their story is incredibly complex. and their interpersonal relationship is too. but why does this curse exist in the first place? it's not even a stretch to use love to describe yuuta and rika's connection when it's exactly the word used by the characters to talk about it. and again, it doesn't have to be romantic. they are, or they were, kids after all.

yaga's death wasn't pretty or beautiful or a love act itself. i think that's obvious and no one really claimed that. but didn't he show care for panda? which he treats like his own son? doesn't panda mourn this loss? doesn't yaga have ideals he wants to preserve and something he was fighting for? didn't he learn from the tragic situation with geto and decided to fight with the little power he has to better prepare and support the students of that school? he did. it's not a deviation to say those are things he values. and again, something we value can be extrapolated to be something we love. but as i mentioned, that's a personal linguistic and interpretative choice. yet, the common theme found in these moments can't really be denied. in my view, at least. even if it isn't the sole and lone motivator behind them.

"jujutsu kaisen isn't a story about love" then explain why everything that happens and each person's strength and/or weakness is derived from this mundane and very specific feeling one can have for another or something else. i'll wait.