#or some other shenaniganery

[violent138]

Love that the Batfam consistently ruins and is largely incompatible with any and all of Alfred's attempts to nuclearify the family.

[diodellet]

alaws pa rin ang simmybebs q 🥴🥴tas matatapos na ang event ni2 bat ang hilig niya makighost sakin,,,, ang daya niya talaga lagi nmn nya aqong pinapaasa HUHU ANSAKEEEETTT

[eddiethebrave]

secret admirer part three

646 words

one two

Eddie is wearing a white shirt. It wouldn’t be weird if Steve wasn’t so sure that the boy was allergic to color. 

Steve pauses his chewing. He turns to Carol where she sits next to Tommy across from him. “Is white a color?”

She looks at him in boredom. “It’s a mix of all of the colors.”

Steve shares a confused glance with Tommy before nodding slowly. “...Right.”

Anyway, his point stands - Eddie is wearing a white shirt. He also seems to be back in high spirits and it wasn’t until Steve walked in and saw him in a heated discussion with his buddies at his table that he realized how much he missed the boy’s usual energy.

For as sure as he was that Eddie didn’t not want his notes, it’s relieving to know he’s probably fine. The realization draws him out of his head a bit and puts it all into a better perspective. The world doesn’t revolve around him. 

Over the weekend, Steve invites Tommy over to hangout and when he shows up, he has Carol with him. Steve idly wonders how long that’s gonna last. Tommy has been interested in her for a while. She made him work for it and honestly, Steve thinks they’re perfect for each other. 

He'd thought that whenever they made it official, that Tommy would be spending less time with Steve. If anything, though, the opposite is true. Tommy seems to hang around Steve more now than ever. He goes on and on about what he and Carol get up to, and Steve finds it kind of odd but assumes his friend is just excited. Still, Steve truly doesn’t need to know every detail from when Tommy and Carol hooked up under the bleachers. 

Steve has always gotten along with Carol in school. She’s a bit bitchy but that only means she can keep up with him and Tommy just fine.

The weekend isn’t half-bad but come Monday, Steve is revved up. He’s already had his note written for days. 

He delivers it without a hitch and excitedly waits. 

Eddie it’s hard to look away from you sometimes, i never would if i could get away with that without getting my ass kicked you don’t seem to care what people think about you or the things you like and i find that really impressive i wish i was more like you your books always look really interesting, do you have a favorite? -H

Steve wonders how hard it would be to get his schedule changed so he has at least one class with Eddie in the morning, too. 

Then he comes to his senses and realizes that would make him insanely creepy and weird. Which makes him wonder if he’s already doing that. 

He spirals. 

What if Eddie had looked so troubled because he doesn’t want to be receiving notes from some random person he doesn’t even know, what if the reason he seemed back to normal on Friday is because he’s resigned to live with the unwanted affection, what if he hasn’t even been reading the notes and he just tosses them immediately, what if, what if, what if.

He goes through his morning classes in a fog that only dissipates when he walks into the cafeteria and sees him.

Eddie is reclined in his chair with his ankles crossed and propped on the table in front of him. When Steve walks past him, he hears the boy whistling obnoxiously and rolls his eyes fondly. It's only when he takes his seat and risks another look that he spots the book in Eddie's hands. The boy is making a show out of reading it; he has the book so close that it's covering his entire face.

Steve thinks it's strange until he remembers his note this morning.

It turns out Eddie's favorite book is The Hobbit.

four

tag list (closed)

@sofadofax @noodle-shenaniganery @queenie-ofthe-void @friendlyneighborhoodgaycousin @devondespresso

@dreamingtheimpossibe @plutoshelm @jaywhohasthegay @scarlet-malfoy @hotluncheddie

@dreamy-jeans137 @justdrugsformethanks @estrellami-1 @travelingtwentysomething @sleepy-steve

@wheneverfeasible @bisexual-and-broke @lil-gremlin-things

sorry if i missed anyone!!

[peterman-spideyparker]

Two Round Apples (Matt Murdock x fem!Reader)

Author’s Note: Hey everyone! This is a very horny fic. Not much thought or plot, but a lot of steamy thots. Enjoy :)

Summary: You try to do a good deed for your closest friend, but it backfires . . . and you accidentally see Matt naked. And his butt. It's awkward, but the thing about the both of you is that you both value fairness.

Warnings: Fluff, friendship, regular Nelson and Murdock shenaniganery, swearing, smut (oral - m! and f! receiving, fingering, p in v protected sex, dirty talk, Matt being a little cocky in bed)

Other Characters: Foggy Nelson and Karen Page

Word Count: 4,053

“And Matt’s at that client meeting, so he’s gonna swing back by his place before he comes in to grab some files he was working on last night,” Foggy says over the phone as you cross the street.

“Which files did he take to work on last night?” you ask, looking down at your watch.

“The Kenadie case, the Wayne file, and I think the Slavo, Riley, and Samuels case, too.”

“Wow, no rest for the wicked, huh?”

“You know our Matty Boy—he never takes a break. Ever.”

“Well, I should be in shortly,” you say, taking a left toward Matt’s building instead of a right toward the office. “A lot of foot traffic.”

“No taxi for you?”

“Gotta get my steps in, Fog. Besides, it’s a really nice day out. I’ll see you soon.”

“See ya.”

Hanging up, you slide your phone in your pocket and open the door to the lobby of Matt’s apartment, moving up the stairs before you reach the top floor, sorting through your keys before you find your spare for his door. It’ll be a nice surprise that he doesn’t have to go back and get them. You mean, you were literally right here anyways—sure, it’d be an unnecessary extra mile for an employee, but not for his friend he’s known since undergrad that just so happens to work at his law firm. At this point, it’s just something you’d do for him.

“Let’s see,” you hum as you close the door, looking at the table in the small entryway to see if they’re there before you move into his living room to search the coffee table. As you look and straighten things out, you hear a rustling from his bedroom, your head snapping in the direction of the sound. To your surprise, you watch Matt shuffle out of his room, naked as the day he was born, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes with the heel of his hand. You yelp in shock and surprise, dropping the files and turning around as you cover your eyes.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean—I didn’t know you—!” you start, desperately trying to backpedal and lessen the embarrassment you're feeling.

“You’re okay, really, I—,” he starts, sounding just as frazzled as you are.

“Foggy mentioned you had a meeting and left some files—!”

“Oh, that’s nice of you, but—.”

“I-I’m gonna go,” you say, covering your eyes as you turn back around to try and find your keys you dropped on the ground. As you search around for the keys, you catch a glance of Matt’s ass as he’s turned around, his hands reached around to his front to cover himself. You stop in your tracks, letting your eyes linger on his strong muscular thighs and his perfectly round asscheeks. The perfectly round asscheeks that you could bounce a quarter off of.

The perfectly round asscheeks of one of your best friends. 

Swallowing hard, you regain your focus and pick up your keys, standing straight and scurrying out of the living room and rushing out of his building. You navigate the sidewalks as fast as lightning and get to the office in record time, immediately sitting down at your desk and throwing yourself into the work at hand.

“I don’t understand how it’s possible, but you look white as a ghost and totally flushed at the same time,” Karen says after about fifteen minutes.

“Hm? I’m okay,” you lie, as you type at your computer.

“Do you need coffee or something? You just don’t seem like yourself.”

“Slept funny—bad.”

“I’ll get a fresh pot of coffee brewing.”

As Karen gets up, the door to the office swings open and Matt enters, his cheeks bright red as he avoids turning in your direction. Foggy starts to head out of his office to ask Matt a question, his mouth opening but quickly closing it when he catches Matt’s demeanor. 

“What’s up with him?” he asks, turning toward Karen with furrowed brows.

“Maybe the client meeting didn’t go as planned?” she suggests.

“Maybe,” he sighs. “Nothing coffee can’t fix. Karen, sit down. It’s my turn to be brewmaster.”

“I’ll go get some coffee,” Matt says, all too eagerly leaving his office. “We should all caffeinate, and I mean, we have all day to drink coffee brewed here. My treat.”

“I’ll come with,” Foggy says, falling in step with his partner. “We’ll grab some bagels, too. Maybe they’ll even have muffins.”

Your eyes follow them as they slip outside of the main lobby, and as soon as the door clicks shut, Karen turns around to you.

“Okay, what’s going on?” she breathes.

“Kare—,” you start.

“Don’t even try to lie to me. What happened?”

“I saw Matt naked.”

“What?”

“This morning on my way back from taking care of those filings, I went to Matt’s place to pick up some files Foggy said he had left, and I used my spare key because Matt was at a client meeting, but he apparently wasn’t, and he walked out of his bedroom buck-ass naked, and I saw him.”

“Oh my God. Front or back?”

“Both.”

“Oh my God.”

“I mean, the front was brief, but I still saw things, but he turned around and I saw a lot of back.”

“Oh my God,” she repeats.

“And I stared. A lot.”

“Oh my God.”

“I know! I didn’t mean to stare, but, I mean . . . Kare, you’ve seen his ass in slacks. In jeans. Sweats. You know what it’s like to see it bare? It’s even better. Like, so so much better. It’s so firm and round and . . . I broke our friendship.”

“What, no!”

“Kare, I saw him naked. All I’ve been able to think about since is how I saw him naked, and how good he looks naked. You saw how he scurried in this morning and how he quickly he left to go on a coffee run! He wasn’t even in the same space for me for a full minute before he found an excuse to bolt! I ruined things!”

“It’s just awkward. I can guarantee, at some point, all super close friends see one another naked for some reason or another.”

“You think Matt has seen Foggy naked?”

“(Y/N), listen! You’re overthinking this!” She places her hands on your shoulders. “This is just a weird hump that you both have to push through. Sooner or later, you’re both gonna move past it and it’ll be fine.”

“You better be right, Kare. You better be right.”

“Staying late?” Foggy sighs, slinging his messenger bag over his shoulder.

“Mm,” you confirm. “I was telling Karen when I got back from filing those papers at the courthouse that I didn’t sleep great, and unfortunately the coffee you and Matt so kindly got didn’t give me the boost I hoped for. And I’ve been plugging along all day with my work because I haven’t been able to focus. I just want to get a little more done.”

“Well, don’t over do it—you’re the glue that holds this place together.”

“And you’re the wind beneath my wings, Nelson,” you tease.

“See ya, (Y/N). Have a good night.”

“You, too, Fog.”

“Hey—sweet dreams!”

You give him one final wave as he leaves the office. When the door clicks shut, you turn your head to look at Matt’s office door. You shouldn’t just leave the events of this morning hanging in the air. It was awkward all day, and if you can nip this in the bud, it’ll be better for the office and your friendship as a whole. You get up, wiping your sweaty palms on your pants before you walk over to Matt’s office. As you raise your hand to knock on the door, it swings open on the hinges and Matt starts to walk out, basically knocking you over.

“I’m so sorry,” you both start to say, his hands resting on the small of your back to keep you upright.

“Matt, listen,” you start. “About this morning—.”

“Please, let me go first,” he breathes.

“No, please,” you counter. “Please let me go first.” 

“Okay.”

“I’m sorry about this morning. I didn’t mean to interrupt you like that—.”

“You didn’t interrupt anything, I promise.” Matt dips his head slightly and flashes you a small smile to apologize for interrupting. “Foggy was covering for me—I haven’t been sleeping well the last few nights.” He sucks in a little breath, making his chest stick out a bit and decreasing the space between your bodies. “I also don’t usually sleep naked.”

Your cheeks burn hot as your mind trails back to seeing him bare this morning, imagining how glorious he must look in his bed, the sheets crinkled and pushed so far down on his hips that just his privates are covered, how beautiful his exposed, muscular thigh must look as he lounges on the mattress. “I was just too tired for pajamas last night.”

“Do you also sleep fight? You looked like you had bruises and scars all over you. Not that I was looking. 

“Restless sleeper,” he smirks. You swear the space between your bodies disappears even more as his voice drops an octave lower; there’s no need for him to do that with you being the only two in the office, barely any space between the two of you, but it does so many things just right. “And you don’t need to be bashful that you looked. I didn’t mind at all.”

Is this man trying to give you a heart attack?

“I was thinking . . .” you start, your heart pounding out of your chest. “It’s only fair that you see mine since I saw yours.”

Matt’s tongue pokes out to wet hips perfectly pouty lips. “I’d have to touch you to see it, sweetheart.”

“I know.”

You both swallow heard, and as he starts to move in for a kiss, you dip your head and pull back slightly.

“Not here,” you breathe. “Let’s go back to your place.”

Matt gently closes the door to his apartment behind him as you gently walk through the space, bringing yourself to the same spot where you stood this morning. He folds up his cane and puts it with his glasses by the door before walking toward you slowly—not terribly slow, but not as his normal pace, either.

“You don’t need to,” he breathes in the little space between you two, his nose practically touching yours as his unfocused eyes move all over your face.

“I know,” you breathe. “But I meant what I said in the office. It’s only fair.”

Grabbing hold of his tie, you gently tug on it to pull him in closer to you, closing the space between your bodies and feeling is soft, pouty lips again yours. If air in your lungs was scarce before, it’s completely gone when your lips connect. His body melts into yours, one hand resting on your hip and the other resting on your ribcage. Matt is the first to pull back, only pulling his lips away enough to officially break the kiss as he rests his forehead on yours. 

“Ah ah ah,” you tut as you feel his fingers start to pull at the hem of your shirt. “You were already naked when I got here this morning. Give me a little room.”

Matt’s face looks completely blown with lust, but he slowly nods, moving his hands from your body. With a shaky breath, you pull off your shirt and drop it to your right before you undo the clasp and zipper on your pants, looping your fingers in the elastic of your underwear to get them both down in one fell swoop, fabric pooling at your ankles. Matt’s face flushes, and his tongue slips out between his lips as he gently flexes and wiggles his fingers as he keeps himself from touching your body for the time being. Your eyes start to look up and down the length of his body before you reach around your back and unclasp your bra, feeling it go limp before you push the straps down your arms and let it fall. As it falls down, you notice it hit against a growing erection in his pants that looks increasingly uncomfortable. 

“You can touch me whenever and wherever you want,” you breathe. 

“Mmm,” he hums, his lids hooded with desire. His fingers start to graze over the back of your hands before gently tracing up your arms, making goosebumps dance all over your skin. Once his fingertips hit your elbow, he tilts his wrists so his hands start to glide up and over your skin. As they reach your shoulders, Matt gently glides them up, his hand cradling your neck while his other hand tucks hair behind your ear. “Is this okay?”

“Y-Yes,” you stutter, your heart racing a million miles an hour.

His eyebrows gently lift up in delight and care as if he’s listening to your body tick and purr as he nods softly. “If you want me to stop, say the word.”

“Okay,” you breathe before adding with a little smirk, “You can keep going.”

He smiles, the corners of his eyes crinkling with delight as he smiles. His hands gently glide down from your face and neck, over your collarbone, and down over your breasts, his thumbs grazing over your nipples, causing them to peak. 

“I might get a better image if I feel you some more,” he says, his voice low and gravely with what you can only describe as desire as his hands gently drag along your ribcage and around to your back.

You half-register the “yes” that tumbles from your lips, and you gasp in delight when you feel his lips on your neck, softly pressing kisses down the column of skin, over your breasts, above your pounding heart, and eventually around one of your pert nipples. He gently sucks at it with each kiss before moving to the other one and doing the same exact thing again.

“Matt,” you breathe, your hands slipping into his soft hair, your fingernails scratching at his scalp. He hums into your skin, moving off of your breast and spreading kisses all over your stomach before he is on his knees in front of you. As his embraces spread across your pelvic bone and grow closer to the dripping heat between your legs. Matt’s hands slide down your back further before they’re gently resting over the curve of your ass. You gasp, a small moan falling from your throat as you tilt your head back in delight as he starts to kiss and lick at your dripping pussy. “Oh m—. . . fuck, Matt.”

He just hums, continuing his work diligently and deliberately as you get pulled closer to the edge, teetering on the brink of your pleasure. As you approach, Matt pulls his lips from the apex between your legs, kissing down your thighs and legs before moving back up, carefully moving his kisses around to your back and kissing the skin he neglected. Matt kisses up your spine as he straightens his legs to stand, one of his hands staying at your hips and between your legs, carefully playing with you as his lips and other hand continue to explore your body. A tingle shoots down your spine as his lips press kisses into your shoulder, his fingers brushing your hair aside so he can kiss up your neck and behind your ear.

“How good of a look did you really get this morning?” he asks quietly, his voice dropping to an octave that goes right between your legs and would make you do absolutely anything he told you to do.

“I-I tried not to look,” you stutter.

“But you stared at my ass, though.”

“Yes,” you grin.

“Sounds like you could use a better look at the front. You know, all things being fair in this.”

“I’d hate to be unfair.” He chuckles deeply, kissing at the sweet spot behind your ear before moving around to your front. “I think your bedroom as better lighting, though. It’d mimic this morning. Again, all things being equal.”

“Like you said, sweetheart. I’d hate to be unfair.”

You turn into his touch, bringing your lips to his and kissing him deeply as his hands hold you flush against him. Your lips move back and forth, the desire and delight growing more and more that you almost forget your plan to move to his room. He sweeps you up, his strong hands wrapping your legs around his waist and holding you up before he begins to move across his apartment, his lips never leaving your skin. You moan into his mouth when you feel the cool, soft, silky-smoothness of his sheets on your back.

“You want to undress me, or should I do it?” he smirks.

“I’m happy to assist,” you grin, matching his expression. 

He laughs and nods, his fingers working to unbutton his shirt while you make quick work with his belt and pants, wrapping your hand around his sizable erection and pumping, making Matt groan at your touch.

“Lay back, angel,” he husks, pulling his shirt off. “Lay back and take it all in.” You let go and do as he asks, watching him as he steps out of his pants and boxers, pumping himself as he kneels on the bed. “Tell me what you want.”

“You. I want you.”

Matt leans down, supporting himself on one hand while he keeps pumping himself, his lips crashing into yours. You cup his face in your hand, doing what you can to intensify the kiss. Your other hand slips into the sweet spot of his back, right above the curve of his ass, his erection gliding right against the slick between your legs. You groan into the embrace as your privates touch in the most delicious of ways, the hand you have on his cheek sliding up to tug on his hair. Matt pulls his lips from yours and kisses your neck and clavicle, marking you up before moving back up to kiss you deeply and repeatedly before pulling back to reach over in his nightstand to grab a condom. Tearing open the foil package, you watch him roll it on his length, making sure the tip has room and it’s secure.

“You ready, sweetheart?” he breathes, one hand cradling the side of your face as he kisses your cheek and neck, the other sliding down your side.

“Yeah,” you breathe.

“Hang on, angel.” With another kiss, he reaches over and pulls down one of his extra pillows at the head of his bed. “Lift your hips for me.” You do as he asks, and he wiggles the pillow under your hips, kissing all the way up your stomach, between your breasts, and back on your lips. “Spread your legs, please.”

Tilting your knees to the side, you expose everything to him, gasping and leaning back into the pillow under your head while he strokes his cock up and down your slit.

“Matt,” you breathe, digging your nails into the soft flesh of his shoulders. “Matty, please.”

He kisses you again, saying so much with the embrace without saying a single word. He nose brushes against yours tenderly before rolling his hips forward and slowly pushing in. You cry out, nuzzling into him as he sinks in inch by inch, stretching you wide and filling you gloriously until he can’t push in any further.

“Tell me when I can move,” Matt kisses into your chest.

“Move,” you beg almost immediately. “Matt, please, move.”

He chuckles softly and smiles, nodding and giving you a kiss as he starts to drag his hips back before starting to push back in. The pace is steady and comfortable, but with each push and pull, you just about lose your mind at the sensation thanks to the pillow under your hips, unable to prevent the moans and whimpers that fall from your mouth. Matt grabs one of your legs and lifts it higher, helping him hit deeper and making you cry out louder.

“Just like that, angel,” he grunts. “Fuck, (Y/N), you feel so good.”

“Matt!” you swallow. “Matt, harder!”

“Yeah?”

“Fuck, just like that, please!”

His hips pick up the pace, making the bed squeak and filling his bedroom with the sounds of your slapping skin. Your head lolls back in pure bliss as your chest heaves as you pant in pleasure, blindly grabbing at Matt’s arms for a sense of stability. The moans that he pulls from your throat sound absolutely animalistic and feral as he repeatedly thrusts into you.

“Deeper, please!” you beg. “Matt, please!”

“I know, angel girl,” he grunts. “You feel so fucking nice, I want to make you feel all kinds of good, sweetheart.”

“Kiss me,” you swallow, finally managing to get a good grip on him to pull him down, his lips crashing into yours, his hips only faltering slightly. He moans into your mouth as he resumes his thrusts, his hands gripping your hips tightly in an effort to help in hit deeper. Pulling his lips from yours, he attaches them to your neck, right on your sensitive spot as he nips and sucks to mark you up as his. “Matty, I’m gonna cum.”

“Yeah?” he taunts. “This dick just too good for you? Can’t hold out for more?”

“Matt!”

“Tell me how good this dick is, angel.”

“Fuck, Matt! Your dick is so good! Best dick I’ve ever had!”

“Shit, (Y/N), you’re so good for me—your pussy is so tight, sweetheart. And it’s all for me.” He trusts deeply. “All.” Thrust. “For.” Thrust. “Me.” Thrust.

His pelvis rubs against you just right with a deep thrust, and you cum around his dick with a body-trembling force, your voice reaching a pitch you didn’t know was possible. Matt’s mouth slots over yours, capturing your cries of pleasure in his mouth, using it as fuel for his own passion.

“Matt,” you whisper in his ear. “Pull out.”

“What?” he huffs in confusion as his hips slow. You muster enough energy to roll your bodies over so he’s flat on his back and you slide off of him. You whine at the emptiness, but you eagerly move over him and pull off his condom, replacing the latex with your mouth and hand. Matt moans out in pure ecstasy, the muscles in his strong thighs clenching in surprise as you play with him and eagerly bob your head.

“Angel, I’m gonna cum,” he breathes. “I’m gonna cum.”

You hum in delight at the thought of your mouth being the thing that pushes him over the edge, the thought of just how big his load is shooting right between your legs and making you want him even more. With a careful squeeze of your hand at his base with his balls, he bucks his hips up, shoving his cock all the way down your throat as he cums. You move your hands and spread them across his hips, working to keep all of Matt down your throat as you swallow his cum, one of his hands cradling the side of your face. When he’s finally done, you slowly slide off of him, gasping for breath when your lips finally release his cock with a soft popping noise. You go back down, wrapping your lips around his head to suck him dry and clean him off before you move your kisses up his body, up along his bellybutton and abs, his chest and clavicle, neck, and finally his lips.

“Mm,” you hum into the embrace, nuzzling your nose against his after you break the kiss.

“I wasn’t too rough, was I?” he murmurs. “I didn’t hurt you?”

“No. Everything was great.”

Matt smiles like an idiot, wrapping his arms around you and kissing you again before rolling the two of you onto your sides, your legs tangling together. 

“I like that you value fairness so highly,” he chuckles softly, his pouty lips kissing under your jaw.

“I like that you were too tired for pajamas last night.”

This time you both laugh before your lips connect again.

“Maybe I’ll make it a habit when you’re around.”

Permanent Taglist: @majesticavenger​ @steampowerednightvaler​ @themusingsofmany @just-the-hiddles​ @toozmanykids​ @dangertoozmanykids101 @clints-worldavengers @theburningbookshop​ @itwasthereaminuteago​ @peter1ismybrother@hellskitchens-whore​​ @dpaccione​ @catnip987​

Matt Murdock Taglist: @two-unbeatable-beaters

[budgethecat]

long post warning sorry

So I hope everyone knows about KOSA. If you don’t, its basically a bill that will let the US government censor a shitload of stuff like LGBTQ communities, wars, etc. from minors among other harmful things. If this passes, I will probably be making a new account and/or not having one permanently. I just want to say for the past few months, I have had a fucking blast on this platform. It has made me much more comfortable with myself, and let me meet some really awesome people. I love all of my moots, and wish you all luck in the coming months.

@azuriewillow005 @a-feral-coffee-enthusiast @amateur-air-guitarist @certainchopshopcheesecake @dyke420-69 @depressedraven9 @drowninginredink @elliedafish @fawna12 @foxtail1311 @guess-ill-dye @im-not-a-virgo-im-a-lesbo @j-snapdragon @krismckrismckris @lord-hunkyhair @littlebookworm69 @lightblueglazeddiaryonthewall @little-blurry-stars5 @lepetitfruit @mckiwi @nico-di-angelo-aaaaa @nervoustoastthing @noodle-shenaniganery @papercranesandpride @returnofthecabbageman @tybalt-you-saucy-boi @tam-song-the-shade

Also if you want to stay private online,

1) NO SHARING PERSONAL DETAILS WITH ANYONE OR ANYTHING

2) Use a private browser like firefox or librewolf

3) Do not put your phone number in anything

4) Dont use google (I suggest duck duck go)

5) Do not let things access your location, camera, microphone, hhtml canvas data, anything

6) If you have an android phone that has an unlockable bootloader (ddg it) look into grapheneOS

[arbiterlexultionis]

Poltergeist

So, Danny, who’s blood is composed of mostly caffeine because the Box Ghost just WON’T FUCKING STOP attacking on the middle of the night, God Dammit this is the SEVENTH Time tonight how the Crap Baskets do you keep escaping the Thermos!! So, when he wakes up one morning needing both caffeine and ectoplasm in his sleep deprived state he just mixes a 4 pack of monster and beaker of ectoplasm in a jug and starts chugging to try and get it down before the taste hits and then stops. Takes a sip. Takes another. And realizes that it actually taste way better then either do individually.

So he starts mixing them up regularly, and eventually starts just phasing ectoplasm into still sealed cans so he can grab and go for the sake of convenience. Then some other ghost get a taste, like it, and start asking for more. So Danny gets some new friends and starts making ghost money selling his concoction, and as a joke based on the original name of the energy drink, paints over the can and relabels them Poltergeist.

For a while, business is booming but then a problem pops up. Real world items are contraband in the zone according to Walker, and most of the drink itself and the container it comes in is real world matter. Cue prohibition era shenaniganery as Danny and his allies became energy drink bootleggers, running from Walker, smuggling cases of Poltergeist, hiring ghost to help them with all of this, the whole nine yards.

I think this could work out pretty well with Danny and The Spooks, him and his boys mass producing and shipping out illegal ghost energy drinks could be a really cool plot line in my opinion, producing it, figuring out how to get it to the zone and all that as a group. I also feel this idea is just the right amount of wacky to work with the DP verse and serious/sensible enough to not be complete crack fic unless you want it to be.

When the Fenton’s and Valerie hear about that no good menace Phantom selling Highly Dangerous Ghost Drugs the flip their shit. The smear campaign is the stuff of legends. And then the truth comes out. It’s just a really Really REALLY tired teenager trying to stay awake and make some pocket money to buy first aid supplies and have some left over to buy food for homeless people.

If it’s a verse where Sam and Tucker are in on the whole ghost fighting thing then they are Energy Drink Kingpin Danny’s right and left hand men. Tucker’s the tech guy, figuring out how to build hidden compartments in vehicles to hide the goods, monitoring and screwing with Walker’s tech, managing accounts for human money he makes/figuring out how to exchange human money for Ghost money. Sam is his badass enforcer who keeps the underlings in line, and also uses her money and rich people connections to launder money and stuff. Proper crime boss stuff.

Eventually, everyone’s least favorite front loop catch’s wind of this. And I see this going one of two ways.

1) He comes to the conclusion that Danny’s not aloud to have nice things, and starts his own enterprise to compete with Danny. Stealing business, sabotaging production, tipping off Walker. General douchbaggery.

2) He is the opposite of opposition. He wants Danny as his Son, wants Danny to be just like him, wants to guide and train Danny the way he never got. So Danny, all on his own, building a criminal empire? Pissing off the authorities instead of being a little goody two shoes? Laundering money almost as good as his old man? It is wonderful and he is Here For It. Either he’s in the distance cheering him on or actively trying to help. “No no my boy, if you do it like that you’ll either end up broke or in jail for tax evasion. You’ve got to send your money through these channels and store it in banks of these countries. I’ll help you set up accounts.”

[mechanismslorearchive]

Does the crew of the Aurora canonically discuss, plan out, and practice all their songs before performing them? I know there is (was?) the "random quotes said during rehearsal" Twitter page, but I figured that was more about the performer's shenaniganery than anything canonically to the mechsverse.

I just want to know if Jonny D'Ville has to keep defending his tendency to take the lead role in every album they perform, or if someone's solo crime time ever gets interrupted by the Aurora showing up out of the blue because the rest of the crew desperately needs them playing their instrument to figure out how it fits into the songs.

Ik Carmilla's old website mentions that her "children" continue the cycle of music and crime, so I've desperately got to know if there's anything on their rehearsal or practice process hahaha

You're right that the thingsmechssay twitter was out of character. There isn't any solid, unambiguous canon on how this works in-character, but there is a tweet from Kofi Young that sheds some light on one perspective:

(The bit about personal canon refers to the fact that any of the performers would have a different answer, and that each is equally canon-- this tweet isn't to be taken as word-of-god evidence that no other interpretation is correct, but it's one idea of how that works!)

[quakearts]

Random strawhat headcannons because I can:

Luffy: He seems so dumb until you ask him about beetles. He's a bug enthusiast. Thinks Buggy doesn't deserve the name bc actual bugs are WAY cooler. Tone deaf.

Zoro: Genuinely likes to hear about history and culture, he just gets the geography mixed up. I bet he has shoulder pains but just doesn't say anything. Has an appreciation for art, just doesn't feel like putting time towards developing the skill. Also Tone deaf.

Nami: Likes drawing quite a bit, and in her free time she doodles the landscapes she sees. Farsighted but her eyesight isn't too bad.

Usopp: IDGAF what Oda says he's a lefty in my book. Favorite medium is watercolor, but enjoys charcoal drawing too. Wants to get a tattoo to be cool but is too afraid it'll hurt too bad.

Sanji: tone deaf. Cannot hold a tune to save his life.

Chopper: doesn't even bother telling Zoro off about his bad habits anymore. He knows he'll never listen. Wants to learn how to draw (it'll help him with his medical journals), and spends time with Usopp and Nami to learn.

Robin: She enjoys some shenaniganery too. She very easily sneaks up on everyone else to spook them. On top of general history, she also admires architecture. She and Franky nerd out about it.

Franky: how his ginormous hands play an average sized guitar is beyond me, but I bet he has regular jam sessions with Brook.

Brook: You hand this man ANY instrument and he already has previously mastered it, or will in a matter of minutes. The skeleton jokes are a coping mechanism. Enjoys when anyone else joins in on his musical endeavors.

Jinbe: (I'm about to start the Marine Ford arc, I'm in impel down right now, at the part where everyone is trying to escape to go save Ace, so fair warning if he's mischaracterized, I'm going off what I've seen in clips and little in-show material) Gives the best hugs out of anyone else. Amazing at comforting others without sugarcoating much.

BONUS ROUND

Bon Clay: Typically not the violent type until push comes to shove, or until there's a new pair of pointe shoes that need to be broken in. I mean this guy is so violent with the pointe shoes. I know they need to be broken in and fitted right but damn what did the shoe do to you?

Buggy: He starts rehearsing different circus acts when he's stressed out. Like "Captain!" "What?" "What are you doing?" "I'M WALKING A TIGHTROPE THAT'S AS UNSTABLE AS ME RIGHT NOW!"

[ratasum]

Hi there; I'm Jay! Nonbinary, they/them.

I stumbled my way back into the fandom early last year and am looking to get back to posting more on Tumblr. I mostly post asura and asura accessories, but I have a handful of characters in each other race.

I'm looking for some new folks to get to know, so if you'd like to see asura art and characters, a spattering of charr and humans, oc rambling, and general GW2 shenaniganery, here I am!

I follow from @cinnabuntastic, so if you see a follow back from that account, that's me!

[mossy-bonez]

I want to talk about this au. So let’s begin with the TMA characters that will be around.

Jonathan “Jon” Sims: look it’s the silly eye man our poor little meow meow. Anywho this wet cat of a man just became the pupil of the eye so his powers and connection to the eye are much greater now, I mean so long as he feeds himself properly and he’ll definitely do that, won’t he? No no he won’t, at least not at the beginning, what were you expecting Jon Sims to properly take care of himself? When has he ever done that without being forced too? Any way he still looks mostly human, I mean he has more eyes then most but he tends to keep those closed or hidden, and his eyes are such a bright green that they almost look like they are glowing(they actually are), and if you look at his skin too closely you might notice black lines that almost look like a web of shattered china, but that’s fine. Also small green eye symbol float around him, most can’t see them all the time but they may catch glimpses of them out of the corner of their eyes. Tape recorders still follow him about they feel different now though, less like they’re from someone else and more like they’re from him.he is very much the ceaseless watchers special little boy, and it fucking shows, so much favoritism.

Martin Kartin Blackwood: he is an avatar of the lonely, like he is fully an avatar now. It’s fine everything is fine, he’s just choosing not to think about it for now, that will make it go away. Any way he’s pretty much how he was at the end of season 5 bit less stressed given that he’s not currently going through the apocalypse, but he’s definitely not forcing himself to act small anymore, he is actively choosing to take up space and stop putting up pretenses. He’s here an a new universe with his boyfriend and come he’ll or high water he is going to make the most of it.

Helen: she is alive because I miss her, also I think distortion door shenaniganery would be fun. Any way he just didn’t kill Helen this time that’s all, and given how little of the distortion is human, or really ever was, she got whisked away to somewhere else as well

Monster Pig: he is my baby and he is here if I say he is, I would kill for him so he is alive and well and freed from his concrete tomb. Anyway depending on if I make this au pre or post weirdmageddon his situation is a bit different, either he replaces waddles and is babyfied, or Mable finds him in the woods and befriends him and now he is waddles’ brother. Either way new pig friend for Mable, and my boy is thriving and being lavished with love(and maybe he occasionally just eats whatever problem they are dealing with, because he is a good pig 🐖)

Simon Fairchild: I know that in canon he is left behind but you can’t tell me that this 600 year old sky grandpa was human enough to be left behind, also as a vast aligned person I can’t leave my evil grandpa behind. He is here and he is having a blast just vibing and slowly adopting any vast avatars that show up to rebuild his family.

If y’all have any other characters I can add and good reasons for them to be able to show up, I will maybe add them

Next up will be some stuff about the gravity falls side of things and a definitive decision on weather or not this is set pre or post weirdmageddon

[flowerbloom-arts]

"Moomin and its casual relationship with religion/Christianity is something that's truly understated by the fandom or forgotten about entirely and I think it's one of the more fascinating aspects to dive into. I dunno, I could ramble about for quite a bit."

Please do! I would love to hear it. If thou wished so. That is.

Okay SO.

I'm gonna elaborate in that I don't know what Tove's relationship to religion/Christianity is? I know she had a Jewish friend who had to flee the country in WW2 and she probably celebrated Easter and Christmas but otherwise I haven't read anything on her views of religion or what flavor of Christian she is, so I'm just going to base this entire post on what we see within the franchise and try not to speculate on what the Janssons believed.

But like, anyway, the subject of religion in Moomin is pretty subtle in that uhhhh

... maybe it's not too subtle... but I blame it on people not reading the books or comics and watching the 90s and 2019 series as it is almost clean of religious dialog or plot points except for, like, the existence of Christmas I guess.

And the existence of Christmas instead of, like, some unchristian equivalent to it in Moominland is telling in itself. What alot of people don't realize that despite all the magic and shenaniganery that happens in Moominvalley, Moominland is still a sort of.... slightly tweaked, absurdist portrait of the real world. In the books there are references to Mexico, America, Finland itself; Moomintroll mentions venetian curtains which implies the existence of Venice, Tarzan as a pop culture icon is referenced. In the comics the Moomins time travel to Wild West era southern USA, ancient Greece, Ancient Egypt, they wanted to travel to 18th century France but they forgot to switch the location, there are references to Soviet Russia and Australia gets mentioned and the Moomins travel to a Mediterranean beach town which is basically a fusion of 2 real life Spanish towns down to the combined naming (Although Majorca also still exists??), brands like Old Smuggler's and Lyle's Gold Syrup and Maxwell House and Lipton get shown directly on the pages... so many other things... point is, Moomin isn't a fantasy world separated from the real one and with all of this you can't argue about alternate origins of the Christmas holiday, it just is there as it is celebrated in the real world.

In Comet in Moominland, Sniff name-drops the Moses of the Bible in reference to Snufkin being found in a basket like him and the kids have a conversation about how dangerous it was to send a baby down a river:

‘Haven’t you got a mother?’ asked Moomintroll looking very sorry for him.

‘I don’t know.’ said Snufkin. ‘They tell me I was found in a basket.’

‘Like Moses,’ said Sniff.

‘I like the story about Moses,’ said the Snork. ‘But I think his mother could have found a better way of saving him don’t you? The crocodiles might have eaten him up.’

‘They nearly ate us up,’ said Sniff.

‘Moses’ mother could have hidden him in a box with air-holes,’ said the Snork maiden.

‘That would have kept the crocodiles out.’

Mr. Hemulen begs the heavens to protect and preserve him:

‘Heaven protect me!’ gasped the Hemulen,

(...)

‘Oh, heaven preserve me!’ exclaimed the Hemulen,

In Finn Family Moomintroll, Muskrat makes more tangible references to Heaven:

(...) the Muskrat gloomily sucking his moustache. 'The earth can crack and fire come down from heaven for all I care (...)

(...)

'(...) Well, I hope the Muskrat heaven is a peaceful place, because I shan't be here much longer.'

In Moominpappa's Memoirs, the Ghost name-drops Hell:

"By all the Hounds of Hell," began the ghost,

In Moominsummer Madness Mymble Jr believes they're going to die and euphemistically mentions Heaven while Little My whines about having to go:

‘That’s the very least,’ replied the Mymble’s daughter. ‘Try to be good now if you can find the time, because in a little while we’re all going to heaven.’

‘Heaven?’ asked Little My. ‘Do we have to? And how does one get down again?’

Emma the Stage Rat says rest in peace for her late husband:

‘Really, thank goodness,’ she cried, ‘thank goodness that my beloved husband, Stage Manager Fillyjonk (mayherestinpeace) can’t see you all! You don’t know a thing about the theatre, that’s clear, less than nothing, not even the shadow of a thing!’

In Tales From Moominvalley, Mymble says My wouldn't go to heaven if she keeps swearing:

‘If you say things like that you’ll never go to heaven,’ the Mymble started instantly,

Snufkin euphemistically uses Heaven while telling the story about his mother's aunt;

Her wonderful belongings gave her no comfort. On the contrary, they only made her think of the day when she’d go to heaven and leave them all behind her

And Sniff echoes this twice;

[Snufkin said] '(...) feeling rather like a balloon, a happy balloon ready to fly away…’

‘To heaven,’ Sniff observed drily. ‘Now, listen…’

(...)

‘I know, I know,’ Sniff said crossly. ‘You’re exactly like Moomintroll. I know how it turned out. Then one evening she gave away her bed too and then she went off to heaven and was so happy, and the right thing for me to do is to give away not only Cedric but everything I have and then hand in my spade and bucket on top of it all!’

And of course, Tales From Moominvalley has the entire short story about Christmas.

Of course, I could be missing or forgetting alot from the books but it paints a very clear picture, I think. And then in the comics...

The use of words like sin and damned and religious exclamations are used alot throughout the comic, and I can't even show all the examples I have collected because of the picture limit, but it's there.

The Black Prophet in Moomin Begins a New Life uses religious language and quite literally lives in a place called Puritan Street, he claims that any form of enjoyment or self-satisfaction is sin, such as looking attractive or eating food you like, and that one must live life in according to one's duty and the betterment of society as opposed to the hedonist view of the White Prophet to abandon all law and order and do only what one pleases.

The plot of the Lars comic Sniff Goes Good founds itself in the event of Sniff having an implied nightmare about going to hell and takes it as a sign that he should morally correct himself.

Moominpappa kept using the word damn (and damned and the blazes) throughout Moomin and the Sea.

The strange thing about the comics is that it uses alot of religious exclamations but replaces God/Lord or Jesus with Edward the Booble which is a really fascinating implication about Boobles in this world but that's beside the point, Groke is also used for more negative exclamations. Just about the only time I remember a character using God/Lord in the comics is that panel of Moominmamma saying Oh Lordy as shown above, otherwise references to God or Jesus themselves are very much missing, I don't know if it's something to do with newspaper censors or what (I could swear there was maybe a cross or a reference to the Devil somewhere in the Lars comics but I can't remember where).

None of the characters seem explicitly religious, atleast with their language, there's no church in Moominvalley or crosses thrown about, which...

Makes the 1969 Moomin series and its reboot, New Moomin, absurdly funny.

DO DO-DO-DO DO DO DOOOOO...

DUN-DUN!

DUN DUN!

DU-DUUUUNNNNN...!!

(yes that is a real church, part of a whole episode's plot, it has the cross and everything on top, I just couldn't get a better shot of it than this)

As someone who has watched the subtitled episodes available for each series I can say that it is... hilarious whenever it pops up. The usage of Christianity in such a heavy-handed way throughout the shows is very amusing but also fascinating.

It's important to consider that these are a japanese production, and these days, Japan only 1% of the population is self-proclaimed Christian despite the celebration of Christmas and the Christian-style weddings they perform. I couldn't get exact data on Japanese religion in the 20th century but it's doubtful that Mushi Productions, the studio that made these shows and is based in Tokyo, was particularly influenced by the religious colonialism of western Japan (please correct me if I'm wrong, I know I'm not a historian but this stuff fascinates me).

The absurd presentation of these elements feel like it comes from a fascination with the religion than any tangible experience on how mundane, rural European Christians act or believe? Like it's kind of parodying it to get across the fact that this is supposed to be taking place in Europe? The praying, the constant references to Heaven (unrelated to death), Hell, God or the Devil, Snufkin and Moomintroll compelling the Hobgoblin with the Power of Christ, the church that was never in the source material, it's all a bit tacky and I love it??

This element is less present in New Moomin probably due to criticism but it's still very much there. It's probably one of the stranger bits of the series besides the violence of Moomin 1969, but like the rest of the adaptation it feels like it's done in earnest despite its lack of adherence to the source material.

...

All this to say, there's probably a Moomin Jesus who died for their Moomin sins in canon and that is still absurdly funny to think about in an abstract sense after all this time.

[eddiethebrave]

secret admirer part eight

633 words

one two three four five six seven

Earlier that day...

Tommy has a problem. He knows it. 

He knows he shouldn’t ignore Carol when she wants to actually talk to him. He knows he shouldn’t share everything they do with one another with Steve. He knows he shouldn’t hound Steve for details about his sex life in return. He knows he shouldn’t care who Steve is sleeping with and he doesn’t. He doesn’t. 

He knows. 

He also knows that taking his anger out on someone else isn’t going to help much, but he gets a sick sense of satisfaction imagining the freak opening his locker only to find a withering note inside. 

Tommy waits until the halls are mostly clear before slipping the paper through the slits in the locker. He honestly doesn’t even remember what he’s written. 

As he turns around and leans against the wall to wait for Steve to finish in the bathroom so they can get out of here, he notices someone staring at him from across the hall. The kid is short and has this jittery look about him that means he must be a freshman. 

Tommy raises an eyebrow at him. “What’re you looking at, freak?”

The kid pales and scurries off down the hall. 

Steve emerges from the bathroom a moment later. He snatches his bag off of the floor where it sits by Tommy’s feet. “Alright, man, let’s get this shit ready,” he says, referring to the party they’re throwing tonight.

<>

When one of the freshman recruits approaches Eddie as he’s climbing into his new van after Hellfire and tells him he saw Tommy Hagan slipping a note into his locker, Eddie thinks he must be joking. The kid assures him he’s not. Eddie shoos him away and lets it sink in. 

After those first few days when he was sure he was being pranked, Eddie had tried his best not to think too hard about who it was that was leaving him notes. It was obviously some closeted guy who didn’t wanna be found out. 

Eddie knows how he’d feel if anyone discovered the truth about him. Sure, there are rumors, but no one really knows. 

As much as H talks about how brave Eddie is, he’d never risk doing what it is that H does. He’s the brave one.

So Eddie respected his wishes. He didn’t launch an investigation even though he thinks it wouldn’t be that hard. He tried his best to ignore the breadcrumbs.

He has no choice but to follow them now, though.

Everything starts to click into place in Eddie’s mind.

H as in Hagan; he’d get his ass kicked if he stared cause he’s Tommy Hagan and Eddie is Eddie and also a guy; H doesn’t read outside of class and - not to stereotype, but - Tommy’s a jock; when Eddie overcharged him, he gave the boy the same birthday fee spiel as everyone else that week, so Tommy knew it was his birthday. 

Gareth literally saw him put a note into his locker, for Christ’s sake. There’s no denying it. 

Tommy Hagan is writing him love notes. 

…Tommy Hagan is writing him love notes? 

He was going to head over to the only party being held this weekend - which just so happens to be at Tommy’s best friend’s place - to hopefully empty his stash and maybe prance a bit for whoever was writing the notes but now that he knows Tommy Hagan is behind the whole thing, he doesn’t know how to feel. 

The guy goes out of his way to be an asshole whenever possible. He’s never been anything other than a nuisance to people like Eddie, and even Eddie himself on a few occasions.

It doesn’t add up, but it has to be him. Eddie just doesn’t get it.

He skips the party.

nine

tag list (closed)

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sorry if i missed anyone!!

[peterman-spideyparker]

Costumed (Matt Murdock x fem!Reader)

Author’s Note: Hey everyone! I think I started to write this back in July, and I didn't want to forget to get this posted like I usually do with holiday themed fics. I'm just sorry the title sucks. I hope you enjoy! :)

Summary: You're not really one for Halloween, but you love a good costume. And while you're not looking forward to doing a group costume, you find something that you just can't pass up.

Warnings: Fluff, regular Nelson and Murdock shenaniganery, mild swearing

Other Characters: Foggy Nelson and Karen Page

Word Count: 1,668

What compelled Foggy to come up with the idea that you all wear costumes to the office on Halloween is beyond you, but Matt agreeing and being pretty enthusiastic about it all confused you even more. So when Karen suggested a theme of “superheroes” with a sly smirk and Matt still agreed, you thought that Ashton Kutcher was going to jump out with a camera crew to tell you you’d been punk’d. But when none of that happened and everyone started to plan and chatter about their costumes in the main reception area, you decided that a walk around the block was exactly what you needed. 

“Oh, you’re being a bit dramatic,” Karen chuckles as you grab your jacket on the coat rack. 

“I’m not being dramatic, I’m just convinced that I’m in a parallel universe,” you say as you slide on your windbreaker. 

“Just think about it, though,” Foggy adds. “We go straight from work to Josie’s for the costume contest.”

“All this being contingent we don’t have client meetings or need to go into court,” Matt says with a little smirk. 

“I can’t believe you. Matt Murdock, of all people, wanting to have fun. Voluntarily.”

“What can I say, you’re rubbing off on me.” Taking a few steps in your direction, Matt leans in and gives you a kiss. “See?” he teasingly smirks.

You roll your eyes and grin, kissing him again. “I’ll be back soon. If you guys want me to grab coffee—.”

“Yes, please,” they all say in unison. 

“Fine, text me what you want. I’ll be back!"

With a final round of goodbyes, you leave the office and trot down the stairs and into the street. A few minutes into your walk, you find a new little costume shop open for the season. With everything in the office fresh in your mind, curiosity gets the best of you and guides you into the store. You slowly browse the shelves, looking at the different options available, some very impressive, and others in need of some extra fabric. 

“Hi, welcome in,” a salesperson greets behind some pumpkin trick or treat pails. “Is there anything I can help you with?”

“Maybe,” you hum, peeling your eyes away from something particularly high up. “I’ve been outvoted in doing a themed group costume.”

“What theme?”

“Superheroes.”

“Ah, a classic. Well, we’ve got plenty to choose from. Classy or sexy?”

“I’m thinking a bit of both, actually.” Turning my focus back to the wall, the sales clerk comes to your side. “Could you help me grab that one, please?”

“Ooh, nice choice!”

A few minutes later, you’re leaving the costume shop with a bag in hand, continuing your route of the coffee cart, and returning back to the quiet office, each of your friends nose-deep in work. 

“I thought I was gonna have to send Matt out looking for you,” Foggy finally says. “Where’d you go to get the coffee? Italy?”

“No, I just got a bit side-tracked along the way,” you hum, stuffing the bag into your desk drawer before going over and handing everyone their drinks. 

“What did you pick up on this side track?” Matt hums with a kiss to your cheek as he grabs his cup. 

“Something you guys will get to see in two weeks,” you hum. 

“Did you just pick up your costume?” Foggy asks excitedly, much akin to an excited golden retriever. “But you—!”

“Yes, and that’s all you’re getting, because I’m clearly nothing to win. No hints, no nothing, and no dwelling on how quickly I caved.”

“But what if we wear the same thing?”

“Trust me, Foggy, we’re not gonna have the same costume.”

“If you do, it’ll just have to be a who wore it better,” Karen grins as she sips her latte. “A little Halloween fashion show.”

“Yes!” Foggy cheers enthusiastically.

“No fashion show,” you counter.

“Yes, fashion show,” Matt grins like a cat that ate the canary.

“Goobers, all of you!” You take Matt’s face in your hands, pressing kisses to his lips. “And you’re the head goober!”

Matt smiles and kisses you once more. “I appreciate the recognition, sweetheart.”

“Alright, break it up, love birds,” Foggy teases. “We’ve got a law firm to run.”

“I don’t think that’s much of a costume,” Foggy pouts as you walk into the office. 

“You just gotta wait,” you hum as you walk around to your desk to sit down. 

“Is it a couples costume?” Karen asks. 

“No. Honestly, I don’t know what Matt’s dressing up as.”

“Well, the established plan is to wear our costumes and then go to Josie’s,” he clarifies. “So this ain’t gonna cut it.”

“I know. And this is part of my costume. Just take a deep breath, Flash.”

“No way, if I am wearing this Catwoman bodysuit all day, you’re wearing yours all day,” Karen hums. 

“Fine. You two go get coffee and bagels, my treat, and I’ll be in the Foggy and Karen approved costume by the time you get back.”

Handing them some cash, you shoo them out of the office and lock the door, working on taking off your clothes to reveal your Wonder Woman one piece underneath. You slide on the matching boots and throw on the tiara before you adjust your gauntlets and loop on your lasso of truth. 

Sitting back down at your desk, you resume your previous task of responding to emails when you hear the door unlock, the squeaky hinges opening wide. You smile and stifle a giggle when you see Matt walk in in a Superman costume—giant S on his chest and a cape and all.

“Looking good, Kansas,” you tease, leaning back in your chair. “It’s a good fit, but, part of me can’t help but think your broodiness would make you better suited for a Batman costume.”

“You—I . . .” Matt stutters with his mouth agape as he tries to figure out what your costume is. “What are you wearing, angel?”

“My costume,” you say, turning to give him your full attention from your computer. “We agreed on a superhero theme, did we not?”

“Yeah, but, this . . .”

A smile pulls across your face as you watch his cheeks flush with a deep blush. You stand up and make your way over to him, the click of the heels of your boots loud against the old hardwood. 

“Wow,” he breathes as his hands settle into your waist. “This . . . Wow.”

“You like it?” you chuckle as his hands start to trail up, his fingertips hitting your exposed shoulder blades.

“That’d be an understatement, angel.”

“I kinda hesitated about it. It was an impulse buy initially. I’m glad it’s paying off,” you hum as his hands go down over the curve of your ass before giving it a squeeze. “Maybe I should dress as a superhero every year.”

“I think that’s an excellent idea, sweetheart. It’s definitely paying off.”

“Feels good?”

“Very.” He leans in to kiss your neck slowly and repeatedly. “I don’t know how I’m gonna focus all day with you in that costume, smelling your skin like that.”

“Well, you should find a way, Murdock.” You can’t help how your eyes flutter shut and the goosebumps that spread all over your skin as he holds you flush against him. Matt knows just what buttons to press and how to press them to make you putty in his hands. “Otherwise, I’ll have to use my Lasso of Truth on you.”

“You gonna tie me up, angel?”

“You need to behave, but it’d be a bit unprofessional to do that here. We’d just have to go back to your place tonight if that’s what you’re jonesing for, though. Not like I need to return the costume or anything.”

As Matt leans in for a kiss, you lean back, taking your index finger and twirling Matt’s cowlick onto his forehead. It holds into a curl, and you lean forward to press a kiss to his freshly-shaven cheek. “There. Now you’re perfectly Superman-ed.”

“Thanks for keeping me authentic, angel,” he smiles as he leans in for a kiss. 

“Hey, whoa, you can only kiss Lois Lane!” Foggy calls as he walking into the office. “Of course you’re Superman. And damn, (Y/N), rocking the tiara and one-piece. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again—I wish I had your legs.”

“Thanks, Fog,” you say. “I’ll never not be weirded out and flattered when you say that.“

“Thanks a lot Fog for—holy shit, (Y/N)!” Karen says as she comes in, box of bagels and coffee in hand. “You look hot! I mean, you usually do, but, damn!”

“Thank you,” you chuckle. “Now that you guys know I’m committed to the costume theme, can I please put some more clothes on? It’s kinda drafty in here.”

Matt presses a kiss to your temple before going over to his office to pick up an emergency suit coat he hangs on the back of his door. 

“To keep out the draft,” he smiles softly, kissing your cheek before whispering in your ear: “And so I can hold on to you easier during the day while you wear that.”

“I’m seeing now how this plan is backfiring,” Foggy nods with an exaggerated, turtle-face pout. “It’s worth it, though, cuz we’re gonna win the costume contest! Or at least you two are. But a victory for part of Nelson, Murdock, and Page is a victory for the whole! So let's get to work, keep it in our pants, and then get that victory title. That middle part is for you two, by the by.”

“Yes, Fog, we get it, we’ll behave” Matt confirms, his hand still on your waist as he presses a kiss to your cheek. “But let the record show I’m glad we’re not having a costume ‘Who Wore it Better’ with you can (Y/N).”

“Joke’s on you, Murdock, I’d look fabulous dressed as Wonder Woman. This hair was made for a tiara.”

Permanent Taglist: @majesticavenger�� @steampowerednightvaler​ @themusingsofmany @just-the-hiddles​ @toozmanykids​ @dangertoozmanykids101 @clints-worldavengers @theburningbookshop​ @itwasthereaminuteago​ @peter1ismybrother@hellskitchens-whore​​ @dpaccione​ @catnip987​

Matt Murdock Taglist: @two-unbeatable-beaters

[e-adlirez]

An Independent Callout Update

Hi everybody, this is uh, this is exactly what it says on the tin, and I figured I'd make one.

Last you saw me I was offering some appreciation for some funni Tumblr art, and sharing a project long-ish in the making (it was like two months it's not that long). I figured y'know, maybe we can let sleeping dogs lie, maybe I can work on other things and maybe take a br--

NOPE JUST KIDDING someone's still up and about and still trying to prove himself somewhere in the blameless route. I've genuinely never seen someone make this many backflips to make them look innocent since Grace Chastity, which is an accomplishment, by the way! Not a good one by any means, but an accomplishment nonetheless!

Let's dive into it, shall we?

Here we have a Cadillac trying to claim that he was hacked. As you can see, he's failed miserably at trying to ping @2deadkat, @ratonahat and @bloombirdreads, in an attempt to call for help. He's failing to ping them because they blocked his ass a whiiiillleeeee ago. And of course, the "it wasn't his fault, it was someone else acting in my name!" excuse! This is peak "I can't be having impure thoughts! This is the other guy's fault for making me horny!" Cadillac is there something you wish to confess in front of the class?

Two holes in his excuse:

One, you didn't seem to have any issues when you were trying to convince me into thinking that you were trying even the tiniest modicum of owning up to your mistakes (which I have screenshotted here in case you think you can delete them and say I can't prove anything). It was really more of a "I'm changed in literally 2 days, I'm not like that anymore!", which is about as believable as falling into a black hole and coming out alive. In other words, not at all. Even less believable since your writing style doesn't seem to have changed from your older posts to your newer posts, hm....

Two, Cadillac, even if you were telling the truth and got hacked, how did you not notice? Getting your account hacked is a very big deal! You could lose personal information, get doxxed, have your account become a mouthpiece for scams, and that's only the half of it! How did you only notice this just now, on December 22nd of 2023? This is a big affront to your internet safety! It would be impossible!

And if you want to say this is a recent development, then uh, buddy, I have some news for you.

Here I have a screenshot from one of my personal Discords, and so far it's the earliest secondary record I have of Cadillac's shenaniganery.

And you can tell it's really early because a reply to the mini-rant around the same day mentions this funny little detail:

This was back when Cadillac had only made two shirtless G posts on his blog. From July 26th, 2023 to December 22nd, 2023-- that's a five-month time period! Almost half a year of not realizing that you've been hacked! And the strangest thing is you haven't changed a bit before or after! This hacker must've done a very good job making your posts sound like your own by extrapolating your internet personality from-- and I counted-- eight bare-bones posts, hm? /sarcastic

Well okay, remember how I said Cadillac's been very consistent this whole time? Well, I lied. There's Cadillac's most recent post as well:

Dear me, you're sounding awfully mature and respectful here! Is this a miracle? Could you possibly have actually been hacked and the person behind the screen is actually a decent person all alo--

OOP I GUESS NOT!

Buddy, I didn't even need to pull up GPTZero for this, you were sounding so corporate and so fake it wasn't even a contest. You ain't slick, Cadillac, not slick at all.

And for the record, I plugged my entries in the callout post in there too because why not

Yep, a lotta hooman to go around with me, Cadillac. This one in I'm writing right now took about an hour :D Whether or not it's because of having to find sources or just to find a good way to say what I want to, I'll leave that for everyone else to decide.

Anyway, this is your Cadillac callout update, goodnight tristate area.

Yes Cadillac you can bet your ass that the only reason anyone would ever be unblocking you would be for no other reason but this: making callouts that aren't going any time soon. I will admit, one flaw in my original post was the fact that I hyperlinked more than I screenshotted, giving you an opportunity to wipe the evidence. Well, you've got nowhere to hide now, Cadillac. I've caught you in 4K, and these posts aren't going anywhere.

[arbiterlexultionis]

Poltergeist pt. 2

Lol I didn’t even notice all the spelling mistakes in the tags of my own post until just now so I’ll be addressing all that first.

At first glance Frostbite’s the muscle of the organization, because you know the whole 9 foot tall yeti with arguably the single most metal and least metallic prosthetic arm in the world, but then he throws on a Lab Coat and starts cooking up a storm. New flavors, figuring out how to more efficiently bind and mix the ectoplasm with the energy drink, experimenting with different ratios of plasm to product, the whole nine yards. Maybe even figuring out how to incorporate the absolute masterpiece that is Jack’s attempt at making anti-ghost juice and resulted in pro-ghost juice, otherwise known as ecto-dejecto. That experimentation would have two results. The first one is just a premium version of the normal Poltergeist drink that has a bit more of a kick to it, like an energy drink X 2, but it’s ectodejecto so it’s kinda healthy for ghost. The other is essentially supernatural five hour energy/potion of mana restoration and or healing. They pop em like senzu beans.

Walker. He’s is absolutely having a blast about all this. His whole shtick is being an old timey cop. He’s practically straight out a old noir film, black and white coloration and all. And while sure, he has a whole bunch of prisoners to look after, he’s self aware enough to know that a lot of them are in on trumped up charges that arn’t fair. It’s nice and all, but it’s just not the same as proper criminals, investigations and getting to go full detective. So now that he’s got proper criminals to chase? Mysteries to solve? Old timey prohibition era shenaniganery to enjoy? He’s all in. Enjoying his job more then ever. Straight up vibing. No one’s seen him smile this much in decades. Not sense that one human criminal famous for killing cops kicked the bucket, became a ghost and pissed off enough people for someone to ask Walker to track him down. He’s straight up Giggling during his first high speed chase with Danny. Danny and his boys are in on it too. When I say high speed chase I mean an actual car chase, not just flying. He wasn’t planning to get caught in the act by Walker, but when he was he pointed at the vintage police car tricked out with ghost tech while climbing into his similarly tricked out pickup, tossed Walker the keys and was like “that one’s yours! We’ve got some killer jumps set up down the road so maybe try and drag it out a little? We’ll send you the footage afterward, even if you catch me.” Asides from cameras to capture footage of the jumps there were also speakers playing chase music. That type of style was a bit more modern then Walker was used to, but it was nice. More than nice. Similar speakers were set up in his prison shortly after the chase to play fight music whenever a prison riot or fight in the yard starts. He’s still legitimately trying to arrest Danny, and Danny’s bound and determined to get away, but they are having way to much fun with the whole ordeal.

So that’s what I have for now, enjoy your days, drink your water and comment any cool ideas you come up with pretty please with a cherry on top?

[cosmica-galaxy]

Oh man I just had the funniest thought.

Madness Combat Player au, but the player is a speedrunner.

The boys get taken for a ride through cutting corners and clipping through the map to make it to the end of each levels, practically flying through them by all the bunny jumping and other shenaniganery the Player is making them do.

Gestalt gets one-shot instantly by a physics object and Hank gets launched into the stratosphere. Deimos and Sanford walk through a door and suddenly there are thirteen copies of them filling in by behind. Jeb now has infinite power balls and Tricky is permanently stuck following the crew around.

In a way, it’s true Madness.

You know, I actually thought about this on multiple occasions and how hilarious it would actually be. Funnily enough, I even checked for speedrun records for the 'Madness: Project Nexus' game only to find very few submissions for that category. There's not even a submission for normal mode! But if a Player DID play the game and was sharpening their skills to take all of the crowns in every category, it would be SO thrilling for the vessels. Once the speedrunner takes control, each vessel suddenly feels a powerful burst of adrenaline and their heartbeat skyrockets. They hear the sound of a stopwatch in their ears and the strings that attach to their body just keep screaming into their minds "FASTER FASTER FASTER!!". The vessels obey. They just breeze past all of the enemies, popping them off with practiced accuracy and each item and room is carefully blasted through with practiced routine. They don't even know how they're reflexes have heightened up to a point that they know where everything is and how fast they're moving through Nexus City.

It's fast. It's thrilling. It gives them a rush. It's straight up addicting. The pulse that thunders in their chest as they run through the streets as everything is blazed past them and how fast their enemies are going down. It's like they're in the middle of a high or trance as their body moves with such perfected movements. The Player even makes them break through some sequences and skip some areas entirely. Much to their vessels surprise. Dialogue is skipped over rapidly that the grunts in question could barely utter a word. All the vessels can hear is their own rapid heartbeat and the same word being uttered again and again. "FASTER FASTER FASTER!" The strings feed their minds the demand of the Player and the vessels continue. Bosses fall without as much as a hit on your chosen vessel. Stunlocking and comboing them until they are below a certain range before dodging and reattacking in succession. The vessels can only pant and keep up the assault as the Player guides them with tenacious accuracy. Then...the vessel blinks...and suddenly... Gestalt itself falls. Phobos is slain shortly after that and it feels like the world has passed in a sudden furious blur. A mission that would've taken possibly days to complete...was finished in mere hours. The vessel hears the clock stop ticking the moment Hank falls into a heap in his own blood. The demands for speed suddenly stop and the vessel falls to their knees to catch the breath they lost long ago. They look around in a confused manner. Barely remembering much about what happened on their journey. Their heartbeat finally falls into a natural rhythm as the strings leave the vessel's body and they collapse onto the ground. In the muddle of their mind, they swear they can hear a voice cheering happily...and it sounded familiar...? "Yes! Sub 3 hours! The WR is mine!!" The giddy sounds of the player's voice make the vessel smile in relief as they slump to the ground. Exhausted, but thrilled at the same time. What a rush...