#or shes messing with them and being mean
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#my lavellan--wren--isn't a very dedicated dalish soooo the veil jumpers are out for me#i think she'd be interested in being a shadow dragon to help with slavery in tevinter--even if we see very little of it in-game :T#her bestie is dorian as well soooo it seems like she'd be all over that despite dorian's protests lol#she's got a hero's complex which led her to romancing cullen and the two of them stand for justice as an ex-templar and non-circle mage ❤️#they could (*cough* would *cough*) breed mabari for the shadow dragons#my 2nd fav inquisitor--varia cadash--would join up with the grey wardens with her hubby Blackwa-! I mean Thom Rainier#and the ability to stay with Thom would make them happiest as well as offing darkspawn for the greater good#even with the mess from adamant fortress varia is level-headed enough to know a splinter faction from the whole#they don't feel like they have much to offer the world outside of an organization tbh so the wardens would offer that#carta business was all they knew until the inquisition and then giving it to the chantry felt like a loss in itself#dragon age#dragon age the veilguard#datv#dragon age inquisition#dai#inquisition#dragon age inquistor#inquisitor#my polls#poll#community stuff
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i love my dr family so much #myfamily
#i just watched an episode from the cr source that had my parents being so sweet to each other that i'm gonna get a toothache#and it had my brothers in it and i love them but one of them was sick :(#i mean it was a sad episode because that's the kinda show it is with messed up topics which is why the dr we're in isn't like the show#cuz no thanks right now i wanna be happy#and my mom was like. trying to cope with hard decisions#but my dad was there and like making sure she talked it out and that she knew the outcome wasn't her fault#and they ate eggs and made jokes and laughed and ohhh my heart is healing i love them so much#anyways.#gonna go see them now :3 bai#shifting antis dni#reality shifting#reality scripting#shiftblr#shifting consciousness#shifting community#desired reality#shifting diary#shifting ideas#shifting memes
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there is a shockingly low amount of tmnt on this blog for how long ive been into it. big tmnt'12 dump bc ive been trying to binge it recently
general sibling interactions.. very attatched to the idea of karai getting to be their sibling + i was so sleepy i kept thinking abt the turtles brumating
more sibling karai. thought itd be funny if bc of the yokai/time travel ep when mikey did that weird dance at baby karai he was implanted in her brain as an automatic Favorite. hes so peculiar
read this fic abt the aftermath of shellacne. the last line from donnie has been repeated by my sibling since i sent it to them
ougugghhh into dimension x you are so famous to everyoneee.. 1st one is me thinking abt how mikey had to be So insane to get a KRAANG SKULL? strange guy. and i dont remember which one but i read a fic where mikey's breathing apparatus breaks n he ends up getting used to the dim x air and um. consequences back on earth
RENET!!!!!!!!!!! renet tilley you are SO FAMOUS TO ME milf shirt is bc april in s3e1 really makes it sound like mikey was the only one doing house chores. cooking cleaning caring for animals etc. single mom
!!!! concept for a weirrrddddd savage mikey rep thatd be in his head in Journey To The Center of Mikeys Mind. was thinking that instead of being outside in that checker floor area, hed stick around core mikey. protecting him n protecting that last bit of childhood innocence. hed stand very tall and intimidating. core probably wouldnt even really know where he came from?? smth abt the brain blocking out traumatic memories. i like him
tang shen aus... more specifically inspired by this fic that i need to finish catching up on.. mikey and karai sibling relationship is so special 2 meee
2012 LEO YOU ARE EVERYTHING 2 MEEEE wishing so bad we got to see more of him and mikey.. mikey and his brothers ... ougghhhhh
and a little bit of smth from a personal iteration im working on ... definitely excited to post abt them once i have more solid outfits designed
#tmnt#teenage mutant ninja turtles#tmnt 2012#2012 tmnt#2012 teenage mutant ninja turtles#2012 leo#2012 raph#2012 donnie#2012 mikey#why is literally everyone in this post omg.#tmnt michelangelo#tmnt leonardo#tmnt donatello#tmnt raphael#2012 karai#tmnt karai#renet tilley#tang shen#grew up with this tmnt.. got back into it when it got big on tiktok and was absolutely falling for the Mikey Is Abused propaganda. then#i rewatched it. he is the youngest and so annoying and literally everyone in that show is victim to bad writers that write them to be#WAYYYYY too mean to eachother overall. like siblings are mean but even after somehting super messed up n scary theyre still so mean to him?#but mikey n raph are so special to me. he cares abt him so much like raph is so sweet#AND LEOOOO leo is so special to me overall.. she is so soft and sweet and kind in this iteration omggg i need to see more of her being#a big sister to mikey.. ougghhh....#im a leo had gender envy seeing karai truther .. shes so girlfailure <3#renetangelo#(guy who hasnt posted in a month voice) hey guys whats up
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You're gonna have to tell her something, because she ain't gonna let this go. ↳ Carla Connor + Standing up for Betsy
bonus:
#somthing soooooo... abt their relationship to me#something abt carla defending her again and again and again bc she sees herself in betsy#something abt carla seeing her- Really seeing her underneath the whole bad attitude teen thing and past her constant mistakes#and knowing that she doesnt need another adult yelling at her for messing up#knowing that she needs an advocate someone to listen and fight on her behalf#god... and betsy is just so scared that that feels so much like the relationship she had w becky#and being so scared that it means shes forgetting her mum replacing her w the first person thats made lisa feel like her old mum again#so she does the worst thing she possibly could to carla and then carla just???? is still there?? loving her??? GOOOOOOD#jfc...#swarla#mygifs#*#anyways the gifs r awful dont look at them
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it’s all my fault.
#pokemon rejuvenation#mona#Mona’s first run#art#I actually had the rare synchronization of free time and art motivation. can u believe it.#anyways. CHAPTER 12 . I’m normal about chapter 12 I promise I promise smiles#I have specific thoughts about the mona and Melia dynamic and I think this chapter is what makes or breaks the path that Mona takes here.#but that’s another talk on split timelines. Something that rlly strikes me in this chapter is how melia Very Much emphasizes on the idea#this whole incident was her fault.#coincidentally as who Mona is. thinks is also their fault for Not Being Better.#it’s kind of the first kick of “Your Good Intentions do not mean good consequences and they get. uh. not very well about that.#heroism gone wrong! they’re wildly unstable in this chapter and Melia is the only person who will ever witness it.#looks to the distance. this may be ooc and if so someone can strike me down but I kind of think Melia’s guilt and first hand witness to how#fragile and scared of a person mona really is. how they’ve been holding themselves up to be the dependable one.#the one with strength. stoicism.#and the guilt of not being able to save their mother. AND drag them into . quote unquote. her mess.#smth smth this is the part where Mona is absolutely prone to despair and Melia wants to be able to shoulder their burden with them#because she played a part in that.#and then karma files evolves this dynamic a Lot more and I’m normal I promise#AND THIS IS PARAGON. Theyre quite strange in paragon.#renegade is like another thing. that’s scary.#my mona Melia dynamic kind of makes me insane. Really. I’m glad I had some time to draw or I would have exploded#oc bracket
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annabeth doesn't talk about what luke said when he came to her house asking her to run away with him and no matter how hard the others try she won't say anything.
#truth is she's angry#people accused her of being of spy for daring to care about her own fucking family#luke was the first person who loved her along with thalia why would she ever let go that ?#it's not like he let go of her completly he saw in the river styx for crying out loud#clarisse fought her constantly about this but is still hung up on silena and dating chris#and the funny thing is the very same thing they resented is what saved them in the end.#she was the one who gave luke strenght to make the right decision and save everyone else#maybe the love hadn't been enough for her and luke but it was enough for the god's throne#and people won't even acknowledge that#and now they dare to ask her about her about him ?#when they pushed away to grieve and worry about him on her own ?#that visit is the most sincere moment she got from him after his betrayal next to his final moments she won't have people spitting opinions#spitting concerns about how its all messed up and how he didn't mean it#she cared and cried for him on her own. percy left her crying over his body in the labyrinth alone.#they left her to hope for him alone she will grieve him alone#that memory will be hers alone and nobody else's#hermes feels guilty about blaming her so he doesn't talk about it either#annabeth chase#annabeth chase centric#pjo#hermes pjo#pjo headcanon#percy jackson and the olympians#pjo tv#heroes of olympus#hoo#pjo hoo toa#pjo series#angel speaks#angel's headcanons
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Oh gosh the roommates are unloading the dishwasher ... this is an answer to prayer
#i haven't talked about them much lately because the heart of the problem lately has been my bad attitude#but i will not lie. them unloading the dishwasher in the evening immediately after it finished#instead of waiting 24 hours slash leaving it to me for the third time in a row? peggy write this down#(the problem rn is not major things are quite fine and i'm back to having tons of time in the house to myself#which helps a lot but also means i have tons of time with their minor but present messes while they're at work#i did reveal to them how much of crisis i was in last weekend. even more than i did to you guys in fact#and that may have been a wake-up call?#i never can assume we're on the same page#but my assumption has been that they've been thinking they can let me take more of the weight in the house almost forever#since she literally always has her own or a family member's health crisis going on#and he has rampant adhd that they're learning to manage as a couple#while i get exhausted of constantly being the not-in-crisis one. i do recognize i have more mental space usually#all that said. it feels like a gift and an intentional choice that they're unloading the dishwasher#on a day they've been in normal-to-bad moods instead of bouncy cheerful ones
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One thing I think about a lot is that when Nargothrond falls, it is heavily implied that as good as everyone perished or, if not, got captured. Like, unlike with the Fall of Doriath, there is no mention at all of any refugees removing to the Mouth of Sirion - and yet, I assume that is very likely where Celebrimbor, at least, went? I definitely think he would have fought, but clearly he survived and neither Doriath nor Gondolin really were an option for him, and I doubt even more that he would have gone back to his family.
And there are a lot of implications to all that, but maybe the one that keeps me up most is that this means he would have likely been there when the refugees of Doriath arrived, when they told of what his family did. That his father is dead. What would he have been thinking? What would the survivors of Doriath been thinking? Like, I know there were technically several different camps to some extent, but I doubt they would have been wholly separate, especially upon arrival. What kind of horror to find someone who looks just like one of those guys who just slaughtered your friends and family. What kind of horror to look like someone who just committed such horrors.
He also would have been there when the third kinslaying occurred, or at least very close to it. What an experience, to end up on the other side of it. To see exactly what might have become of him had he not foresworn his father years ago, and also to see yet again what became of his family. Like yeah, everything before/during the Nargothrond Disaster would have already been formative for him and his future choices, but I do feel even being in the vicinity of all of that would have been such a dire reinforcement of all those convictions and reasons that made him disavow them in the first place. And especially in terms of the third kinslaying, it's also why I personally really doubt that there is a chance at any kind of reconciliation with any of the brothers, whether it's his father or I don't know, Maedhros or Maglor. Like, I just don't think there is any coming back fromt hat, really, if there ever was.
#*mine#mona's rambling#tolkien#the silmarillion#celebrimbor#silm#like i mean obviously you don't need to be affected to realize That Shit Sucked#but can you imagine looking down a sword and seeing your uncle who helped raise you. how do you even BEGIN to process that#there is a whole other matter of tyelpe being in/around the camp that had a silmaril but that's a post for another time lmao#also i mean galadriel - would she have been there after doriath's fall?#I'd assume she would have fought there too so that would make her end up on the other side of a feanorian kinslaying TWICE#like. these are the things that make me want to chew through drywall PLS#did they know elros and elrond before they were taken? what did they think maglor and maedhros would or wouldn't do to them? LIKE#i don't even think there is a solid straight-forward answer to that that's right or wrong i just like bouncing it around my head and going#insane. btw#anyway these tags are a mess don't mind me#feanorians
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Also sorry while we're in Hornblower yuri mode (and when are we ever not in Hornblower yuri mode) I'm genuinely interested in what people see in Barbara/Maria as a ship
#it's the only f/f hornblower ship i've really seen any commentary on around here which fascinates me#i guess the part about them befriending each other which *is* really interesting to me#but i think the way that i read barbara they would have negative chemistry and i would not wish that relationship on maria at all#idk. this is genuine curiosity about how you all are reading maria and/or barbara to arrive at this#also to me maria reads as straight. like she'd be the number one ally for sure#but to me she reads as at most that person who is surrounded by enough gay people that she's questioned her sexuality 100 times#and every time it's like unfortunately no i think i am exclusively attracted to men. alas#i'm jumping through a lot of hoops in genderflu fic and basically it boils down to her being hornblowersexual enough to be okay with this#even though if it was not *gestures vaguely at whatever mess i've created* that she would definitely not be into a girl#(or want to be a guy either)#also also. my personal headcanon is that barbara is not particularly good with kids she's just Performing Femininity#but maybe i just like to be mean to her maybe you could read that a different way#i *am* curious as to how her and maria's relationship would look when they become friends in between sotl and fc though#ANYWAYS. please feel free to let me know your thoughts i want to see your readings of this#perce rambles#percy yells at cecil scott#hornblower
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i’m going to be insane about sugarfly for the next twenty business days
#fuckin. love her#i love her sm#she wasn’t able to escape the garden even if she wanted to#and her voice lines that are like#why do unpretty things exist?#and#i hated my dull boring wings!#maybe imply that bc eternal sugar granted sugarfly her wish she felt that she owed esc her life#bc she felt ok existing when she was beautiful#but when she wasn’t under esc’s spell anymore she realized#she wanted freedom more than pretty wings#and went so far as to mess up her wings just so she could feel that freedom even a little bit#and didn’t even hesitate to leave#ggrgrghh#don’t even get me started on her as psyche and pavlova as eros#bc ohhhhhhrhrhrgrvrgrgrhrh#rising star speaks#crk#cookie run kingdom#sugarfly cookie#sugarfly crk#crk spoilers#edit literally two minutes later I FORGOT TO KENTION HER BEING A FAERIE#I MEAN I FIGURED#that was probably my strongest running theory for her before the ep came out#but like hearing her SAY it is different#she probably knew mercurial knight and silverbell too which makes me want interactions with them#i saw someone on here (i can’t remember who) say that she might be in the white lily and silent salt update cuz. faerie kingdom#which both makes me excited and terrified#she also doesn’t know that elder faerie is dead which’ll be an interesting conversation with her i’m sure
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Feel like with the Iris and Kiera fanfic depicting the two dads of Iris and Kiera as bad and evil for just...wanting to get help for their daughter's mutism and taking her to see Doctor's, we really need to discuss Lily's writing of gay men in her fanfics because this and the whole male Pokemon trainer and his male Pokemon being busted by Lily's self-insert in Pokemadhouse and the male Pokemon being sent to a sancutry where he became depressed while the male trainer was sent to prison to be expiermented on basically, because for someone who screams about representation, Lily sure doesn't seem good at writing gay men. Well, unless the gay men are Poe and Finn. But let's be real, she doesn't really care for that ship beyond getting Finn out of the way of Rey so she can ship her OC with Rey in a more toxic ship then Reylo and the bar for that was in fucking hell already, with the only contributions they really seem to have to story being Aliana's yes men who support her no matter what she does and I guess eventually the two stop being important to Rey even if they not dead before them and Aliana because Rey according to Lily ends their life just because Aliana is dead and sees no toher reason to live.
#lily orchard#lily orchard critical#these are the ones off top of my head btw#if lilys written more then i dont know about them but would be curious if they better then these examples#also like lilys one 'good' moment for kiera and iris dads was....the dads supporting iris being-medicine as an adult#and sending her stuff about her basically messing up kids chances at getting help just because she got annoyed at doctors in that field#as a kid#and being all supportive about it#like they only 'good' once and its when they supporting lil- i mean iris' anti-medicine stance
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I FINISHED WATCHING THE LAST EPISODE OF SEASON 6 AND IT WAS SOOOO FUCKING GOOD OH MY HOLY FUCK RAYMOND LOOKING SO SEXY AND BEING HIS NONCHALANT SELF, DEMBE SAVING RAYMOND AND BEING FINALLY BACK AGAIN!!!!
THE END WITH KATARINA AND RAYMOND KISSING🥴❤️🔥 AND KATARINA DRUGGING RAYMOND AND HE GETS TAKEN SOMEWHERE AND THE EPISODE ENDS-
I AM AN EMOTIONAL MESS RIGHT NOW ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT IS THIS EPISODE AND QUESTIONS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED BUT NEW ONES ARE ALREADY THERE
I FUCKING LOVE THIS SHOW SO DAMN MUCH
#i was screaming the whole time cause Red was sooo hot and just himself again <333#and DEMBE BEING BACK AT THE BEST POSSIBLE MOMENT I CRIED TEARS I CRIED ACTUAL TEARS#and goddd tbh Katarina and Red kissing was hot ok i directly began shipping them i mean how can you not its beautiful olde women with#handsome older man thats the beeest! 🥴 *deranged kinky thoughts incoming* I just see them fucking both being such teasing messes and using#like knives on each other or teasing with guns godddd or them being coveref with blood and make out godd fucking hell but also them having#sweet lovely sex like i see Katarina on top of him and Red giving her his hat while she rides him 🥰💖 godd they are both sooo beautiful#im gonna cry i swear if something happens to the both of them ill get fucking mad#but also thought about this Katarina being an impostor because this show literally keeps surprising me so damn much AND I CANT EVEN HAVE#NICE THINGS but for now imma ship em ❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥
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Bettejoan plsssss 👉👈
thanks!!! ehjbfhefh okay. no summary on this one lol. i don't typically write rpf not like out of judgment or anything (rpf is fine!) but bc it feels like. so much harder/so much "she would not fucking say that" and like um as i've mentioned the lack of historical consistencies for bette and joan makes me feel crazyyyyyyy. also in truth, bettejoan fic should be like predominantly insults and hate sex and the most insane public comments known to man and that just isn't really my strong suit sadly!!! all this to say an effort has been made!!
“I can’t stand you,” Bette grits out, though she makes no move to step away.
“I'm not asking you to stand me, Bette," Joan says breathily. "I'm asking if you'll fuck me." Bette places a hand, firm, on the flat of Joan’s chest, and Joan grins in something like victory, until Bette pushes her back forcefully.
“God, you're even more easy and desperate than I realized." It lacks some of it's usual bite, because she's clearly a bit flustered by the directness and trying hard not to show it. Still, Joan’s face hardens.
“Easy and desperate?” she asks, voice cold, and Bette pretends she doesn’t somehow know that that’s her response to the actual anger and hurt beneath it. “I’ve always admired your originality with your insults, darling. You sure know how to make a girl feel special.”
“Only if she is,” Bette retorts. “I’m honest. And you're as common as they come.”
“Is that why you make such a point to avoid me? Why you insult me publicly given any possible chance? Why you bring me up just to get in a dig or two when I’m completely irrelevant. Maybe I’m too obvious in my appeals, but you’re hardly subtle, and if you haven’t noticed that, you’re crazy. Honest," she says with a scoff.
Joan waits for a rebuttal that somehow doesn’t come.
“I know you don’t like me, but you sure talk about me a lot. I bet you think about me a lot.” She pauses. “I think about you a lot,” she adds, voice lower.
“That much is obvious,” Bette quips, rolling her eyes. Joan takes the lack of outright denial as some kind of progress.
“I’ve thought about it, you know, and I never could decide if I thought you would have a need to be in control in the bedroom, like you seem to have everywhere else, or if there’s where you’d want to surrender it,” Joan says, mock casually. Bette flushes. The funny thing is that Bette’s never able to figure it out either, not in any way that makes sense. And she sort of hates that Joan has come to the same conclusion. Or lack thereof. She feels horribly, shamefully vulnerable under Joan's discerning gaze.
“What’s your point?” she huffs out, reaching into a pocket for a pack of cigarettes and a lighter, but Joan beats her to the latter, quickly lighting a match and holding it up to the cigarette Bette places between her own lips. She meets Joan’s heavy gaze as she inhales, and quickly looks away.
Joan puts out the match. “My point, darling, is that perhaps I tried the wrong approach. Maybe instead I should ask if I can fuck you.”
Bette laughs.
“What’s funny?”
“The fact that you think that your asinine question made you sound submissive. You may play it from time to time, but you’ve never sold it, not to me. You're not good enough to."
“Do you want me to be submissive? You’re right that it’s hardly the most natural thing for me, but you’d be surprised what the right person can get from me,” she says, perching on Bette’s makeup table carefully and doing her best to look seductive. Bette may not give Joan a lot of credit for her acting, but alluring is one thing she's quite good at playing.
Bette tries very hard to be unaffected, to not let her eyes follow a path from Joan’s long legs all the way up to her almost pleading eyes, to not picture it, Joan taking orders from her. Joan completely at her mercy. She tries not to be enticed by it, tries to tell herself it would only be for some sort of revenge, some way to humiliate her, to hurt her. And yet, there's a strange sort of disappointment as the fantasy seems to solidify. Not disgust, not even really shame, though she's sure that will follow. Disappointment. And something seems, horribly, to click.
Joan picks up on it, of course. “Bette,” she starts, and Bette doesn’t let her finish. She surges forward, letting one hand press into Joan’s thigh to brace herself and keep Joan against the table, and bringing the other to Joan’s jaw to crash their lips together. Joan tenses for a beat in surprise, but then clutches at Bette’s back, kissing her back fervently. “So that is what you want?”
“No,” she says bluntly, and kisses her again working slowly towards her neck.
“I don’t—“
Bette twirls a strand of Joan’s hair around her finger and tugs, and Joan gasps, her head falling back. “Fight back,” Bette says, and even she isn’t sure if it’s a command or a plea. Either way, Joan takes it.
“Oh,” Joan says, pulling against Bette’s hold to bring her head back up and meet Bette’s gaze. “With pleasure, darling."
#anyyyywayyyyssssss yeah uh its hard for me to write them. but you know i sure do think about them!!! its just like a tangled mess of#'oh they were soooooo weird about and obsessed with each other and joan did want to fuck her so bad it made her look stupid.'#or at least i choose to believe that. but like the main thing for me with them that i tried to kind of convey here#well actually its a few things. 1. bette being mean to joan all the time is kind of like the proverbial pulling on pigtails or whatever#and on some level joan is aware of that (and likes it) 2. some significant portion of joans attraction to bette comes from her relative#unattainability and also her bitchiness. 3. bette has said some very interesting things about power dynamics in her relationships#i think the quote i am thinking of is 'I had to remain in charge; and when the man allowed it; I lost all respect for him' which is. well#4. joan was kind of a freak but perhaps more than that she wanted to be seductive and desirable like yes she could be very i suppose#controlling or domineering or whatever by many accounts but she also very much reads as someone who would particularly with regards to sex#try to mold herself to fit someone else's needs/desires and like be what they wanted and like i could pathologize the hell out of this#but none of it would have any legitimacy (as if anything else im saying does)#5. all of this combines into a fascinating and compelling cocktail unfortunately i don't a shaker (metaphorically)#asks#answered#my writing#tvmilfs#old hollywood#now... wait how many tags does it take to stop counting for main tags this doesnt need to be in those... well idk so we will see#bette davis#joan crawford
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I think the problem with me with Jean Grey is that she always in some way screws so much with Scott I know it's an horrible comparison but the MCU is one of those times I cannot fully say about the comics since I'm still new but not just the movies there were times with the animation if I recall that she would even though be with Scott but her heart is conflicted by Logan and the fact that she kind of egged Logan on about it where with from with the whole Rouge Magneto & Remy even though Remy wanted Rouge he backed away and stood far for allowing Rouge for what she wanted to do in order to get what she always wanted cause no one else has Remy cared for someone so much as Rouge he WANTS her to be happy to where with Jean trying to explain she kind of purposely mess with Logan even though she is in love with Scott and majority does but she still has an opening for Logan once in a while and though I do and don't like Jean this is the thing I cannot stand seeing of her messing with other people feelings especially when she knows that Logan does care about her and yet she always goes back to Scott 🤨
#im not good with#love triangles and usually#im not for them#and i dont necessarily hate jean#its just she drives me nuts when it comes with#the relationship part of her life#being an xmen cool#but the other aspects no#i mean she just needs to be with scott and stay with him#and stop messing with the wolv#and people think rouge is bad#marvel#jean grey#x men#logan howlett#scott summers#anna marie#remy lebeau#erik lehnsherr#magneto#rouge#gambit#cyclops#wolverine#marvel fandom
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Update to whomever it may concern: After a lot of consideration, I decided to delete the chapters I had up so far of my post-ending Durgetash fic. I was in a really bad place mentally when I wrote it (to be entirely honest, I'm two months away from turning 30 and I think I've finally started to realize that my parents were legitimately abusive even though they don't look like the stereotype you learn to expect from television and movies) and I just felt like I did it wrong and I didn't feel like I was going to be able to move forward from that point, so I've decided to scrap it and start over. I'll repost it when I feel like it's actually ready. Sorry to the audience and everyone who bookmarked it and such, I know it's not ideal, but I just felt like it was the best way to deal with it.
I doubt anyone ever remembers my post-ending Cyberpunk fic at this point because I only posted one chapter a year ago and never updated it, but I also deleted it for similar reasons.
#i guess it's not surprising it took me this long to start to see it because i was 27 when i moved out of my parents house#because before that they simply refused to let me leave#i mean they didn't actually let me leave then i just had to do it and they tried really really hard to stop me#that's why i had to move literally across the country#it was the only way to stop them from literally dragging me back#though they are still trying#anyway sorry if this all was tmi#now watch me give myself the worst therapy ever by writing about my durge's childhood with her adoptive family that she killed#and making her parents act like my parents lol#no i'm just kidding that is probably a bad idea even if i might kind of enjoy it haha#god sorry for being a mess and such
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You know that fact that Johnny would use sex as a way to keep the band together or 'boost morale'? Yeah.. just makes me think about his potential abandonment issues 💀
#i mean you already see it at play during the scene with Alt in the game#but... to think he not just pushed people away at the mention of leaving him but ALSO tried so hard to keep them around#(only to continue to act like a flippant asshole)#just has me thinking thoughts is all...#(girl was a disorganized MESS attachment wise)#((and if you subscribe to the fact he was sold at 4 for cigarettes...#u can really see why he would try so hard to keep people around yet push them away at the same time....#like it j connects in a way that makes sense to me#he was scared of people getting close n being close for SO many reasons#and thats why when Alt not only told him he was leaving her for good#but also handed him a mirror on how she saw him beneath the veneer of who he Projected Himself To Be#who he wanted people to see#brother felt trapped like an animal in the corner flipping the fuck out the way he did))#(((wanna crack his head open and study him underneath a microscope all day hes just so interesting...)))#(whoops got it mixed around **she was leaving him for good** typos my beloved <3)#ill be brave and tag this#cyberpunk 2077#johnny silverhand#ult speaking#(clearing this from my drafts <3)#((bc i was thinking abt this again 💀💀))
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