#or reading their tags and comments if they left some
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I don't know if you actually wanted an answer to this, but I'll give one anyways—personally, I don't find the AO3 bookmark feature very useful as a "bookmark," since it doesn't actually tell you where you left off in a fic. It also has some weird extra features, like the ability for the bookmarker to add personalized tags to the bookmark, sort it into collections, and leave comments on it. Your bookmarks can also be viewed by other users.
Bookmarking a story is more like saving it to your personal curated library of fics. It can have lots of uses, like keeping track of your favorites, recommending fics to others, and yeah, marking down where you were in something you're reading (I just need to remember to actually note down what chapter I was on.)
AO3 also has other features that function similarly, like subscribing to a fic, which sends you a notice whenever it updates, or saving a fic for later, which notes it down in your history as something you'd like to read. Those honestly seem more useful for keeping track of what you're reading, but I hardly ever use them lol.
Alright guys, it's poll time again
Reblog for a larger sample size!
#sorry if this is too much i have the neurodivergent over-explanation disease#ao3#fanfiction#my rambles
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as of today, february 2nd, ww2yaoi turns one year old! I initially made this blog to promote my mota fic (which I thought absolutely no one would read) so the first thing I ever posted here was a link to my second clegan fic I wrote. that post got 3 notes (maybe even less at the time) but that fic is now my most popular ever at over 1k+ kudos on ao3!!! just goes to show you never know what's gonna happen...
this year has been a rollercoaster in terms of my interests. going from mota/clegan mania in the first part of the year to my insane web(gott) breakthrough around april when I read parachute infantry for the first time. then these last few months I've been so pacific pilled it's not even funny (sidsledge nation there are dozens of us!! dozens!!!). from the spring to the end of the summer I wrote about 90k of unreleased webgott fic then eventually started posting some other stuff on ao3 again (thank you for your support as always <3333) and although I've been on a bit of a fic posting hiatus lately, there are things in the works... trust
to celebrate my blog's bday, I thought I'd highlight some of my fave things I've made for this blog over the past year. because I have made A LOT of bullshit. this blog has been a passion project of mine and a great creative outlet. even if it's lowkey kind of stupid it takes a lot of effort and love to be this stupid :P here we go...
my fave edits I’ve made: joespresso, this artifact of ron livingston summer, uptown webgott, supercut webgott, winnix lovesickness, sidsledge pop girlie extravaganza, all-american b(ucky)itch
my fave fics I've written (not exactly blog content but my fic is the whole reason this blog exists): buck and bucky paint the town red, welcome to the stalag bozo, joe liebgott in peach lingerie, smooch stained webster, everything is better in the spring :)
my fave posts I’ve made: my web weaves, my webgott wednesday meme dumps, my beautiful wife home safely :), who's the other guy?, that one coworker that's just gotta go, his german's as good as mine, webgott as the five love languages, i suck dick loud as hell and also the entire invention of webgott wednesday
anyways, if you've ever interacted with any of my posts, sent me an ask, reblogged an edit, commented on a fic, left funny tags on a meme, messaged me about these shows, etc. THANK YOU!!! you make blogging on here fun and you will have a piece of my heart forever :) I am so grateful to the friends I've made on here (you know who you are I'm sure) and really there's nothing I like more than analyzing our fave ww2 vets like bugs in the dms
here's to another year of nonsense!!!!! <3
- meg aka ww2yaoi :^)
#thanks for following my beautiful baby you all get a slice of cake <3#idk what to tag this#personal post
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𝔹𝕣𝕠𝕜𝕖𝕟 ℙ𝕚𝕖𝕔𝕖𝕤, ℝ𝕪𝕠𝕞𝕖𝕟 𝕊𝕦𝕜𝕦𝕟𝕒 8
↳ Sukuna x f! black reader
Summary: After the death of his grandfather, Sukuna Ryomen is left to shoulder the weight of his family, caring for his younger brothers, Yuuji and Choso. As he withdraws into grief, his relationship with Y/N, his girlfriend of a year, begins to crumble. When Y/N discovers the truth about his grandfather’s passing during a heated argument, it leads to a painful breakup. Now, both are navigating life apart, but Sukuna’s heart aches for Y/N. Determined to win her back, he must confront his pain and find a way to break through the walls he’s built. Can he rekindle their love, or is it too late?
contents: heavy angst, modern au, 18+, smut, dark romance, drug use, talks of depression and similar topics. (a lil )
fic warnings. ooc, profanity, mental health issues, toxic relationships, cheating, explicit smut, serious drug use, mentions of depression + more to be updated as story progresses.
Please read with proper discretion. this is a work of fiction. all characters are written to portray roles that are necessary to the plot and are in no way a reflection of their canon counterparts.
Taglist: @for-hearthand-home@clp-84@thelightknight21@favvkiki @helightknight21 @dylsw @ria-s-writes @sleepymothafterhours @sukunasstomachtongue @cosmic-lovr @imm0rtalbutterfly @kyo-kyo1
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CHPATER 8 - AFTERSHOCKS
Yn pov
The cold night air felt like a slap to my face as I left Kenjaku’s place, my footsteps echoing hollowly down the quiet street. I tried to keep my mind blank, to drown out the lingering, haunting image of Sukuna—his dark, haunted eyes and the barely lit cigarette slipping from his fingers as he whispered for me to leave.
My chest felt tight, my heart pounding as I tried to make sense of the broken pieces he’d left scattered inside me. Every time I thought he’d reached his lowest point, he seemed to spiral deeper, as if he was determined to burn everything down to ashes.
I couldn’t ignore that I still cared. Seeing him like that—seeing him looking at me with that raw, bitter pain—I wanted to help him, to reach out, but I knew better now. I had spent months clinging to hope that maybe, just maybe, he would change for us, for himself, for the family that he still had.
But tonight, his words left no doubt. He wasn’t ready, not for me, not for anyone. And I had to face the reality that he might never be.
A few blocks down, I caught my reflection in the darkened glass of a closed café. I looked like someone I barely recognized—worn, tired, weighed down by a love that kept clawing back even when I tried to sever it.
My phone buzzed in my pocket. I pulled it out and saw a text from Utahime: “Hey, just checking in. Are you okay?”
The concern in her message softened the ache, even if just a little. I didn’t have to handle this alone; I didn’t have to keep it all bottled up inside. I knew she’d come over, let me talk or sit in silence—whatever I needed. And right now, maybe I needed someone to remind me I still mattered, even if Sukuna had all but forgotten that.
I texted her back, “Not really, but I’m heading home. Could use some company if you’re free.”
Within seconds, she responded, “On my way.”
I slipped my phone back into my pocket and took a deep breath, looking up at the night sky. I whispered, maybe to the stars or just to myself, “I’ll survive this. I’ll get over him.”
But as much as I wanted to believe it, the ache in my chest told me it wasn’t going to be that easy.
I knocked lightly on Utahime’s door, the sound muffled by the weight of my thoughts. As the door swung open, I was greeted by her warm smile, though I could see the concern in her eyes. Behind her, Shoko sat on the couch, a soft glass of wine in her hand, and Geto was casually leaning against the wall, arms crossed. My heart did a little flip in my chest as I processed the sight of them together—together, like a real couple.
I hadn't been prepared for that.
Shoko saw my hesitation, and before I could ask, she smiled and said, “Yeah, we’re dating. Long story.”
I nodded quietly, swallowing back the knot in my throat. I wasn't sure why the news hit me so hard, maybe because it was a reminder that things were changing—life was moving on for everyone, even if I felt stuck in place, trying to untangle the mess that was Sukuna.
Utahime saw my expression shift and gently ushered me inside. “Come on, sit. You look like you need to get out of your head for a while.”
I sank into the couch, a little too aware of the awkward silence hanging between us. Geto noticed and softened his posture, giving me a small, understanding nod.
“You okay?” he asked, his voice low but filled with concern.
I forced a smile, but it felt brittle, like it might shatter at any moment. “Yeah, just been a long couple of days.”
I glanced at Shoko, who didn’t speak immediately but gave me that steady, unspoken support only she could. She, too, knew the weight of what I’d been going through. We’d all lived it in some way or another, the pain of love and loss.
Utahime sat beside me and handed me a glass of water. “You know you can talk about whatever’s going on, right? You’re not alone.”
But the weight of the night—the weight of Sukuna’s words—was still too much to carry. I didn’t want to bring up my problems, especially not with how well everything seemed to be falling into place for them. I didn’t want to ruin the rare moment of peace I had here with my friends by pouring out the chaos of my emotions. Not when I knew they already had enough of their own burdens.
“I just...” I trailed off, unsure of how to say what I was feeling. “It’s a lot to process. And I’m not sure where to go from here, you know?”
Shoko’s gaze softened as she placed her drink down, giving me her full attention. “You don’t have to have it figured out right now,” she said gently. “You just have to take it one step at a time.”
I let out a shaky breath, nodding as the tension in my chest eased a fraction. They were here. I wasn’t alone.
But even with their support, my mind kept drifting back to Sukuna, to his cold dismissal, to the rawness of his words.
“You made the right choice… don’t let guilt eat at you.”
I closed my eyes briefly, trying to push the thought away. That guilt... it would always be there, wouldn’t it? No matter how many times I told myself to let go.
But for tonight, at least, I could let the presence of my friends drown out the echoes of his voice, if only for a little while.
I watched as Geto leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to Shoko’s lips, his actions almost casual but carrying the weight of a goodbye. Shoko held his arm, reluctant to let go, her fingers tightening around him, before she looked up at him, her expression a mixture of concern and confusion.
“Why?” she asked softly, her voice laced with worry.
Geto’s eyes briefly flicked over to me, and my stomach churned at the look he gave. It wasn’t pity, but it felt like something else—something more complicated. He gave her a small, almost apologetic smile, brushing a hand over her arm. “I’ll text you, Sho. Gotta check up on some people, you know how it is.”
Shoko didn’t respond immediately, but I could see the hesitation in her eyes. She wanted to argue, to keep him here, but she didn’t. Instead, she let out a small sigh and nodded, her fingers brushing the fabric of his sleeve one last time before he stood up and turned toward the door.
“Take care of yourself, okay?” she said to him, her voice small, almost fragile.
“I will,” Geto answered, offering her one last soft smile before leaving the room. The door clicked shut behind him, leaving an unsettling silence in his wake.
I didn’t know what to make of it. Their relationship wasn’t something I was used to yet—seeing them together, watching the small acts of affection that seemed so natural, yet felt so foreign to me.
Shoko exhaled slowly, her gaze turning to the space Geto had just vacated. It was clear she was processing something, her usual calm mask slipping just slightly. After a moment, she looked back at me, her eyes sharp with a quiet intensity.
“You doing alright?” she asked, her voice softer nowr as if the moment had made her more aware of the space between us.
I nodded, forcing a smile even though the ache in my chest was still there, gnawing at me, a reminder of everything I wasn’t ready to face. “Yeah. Just... a lot.”
Shoko studied me for a moment before leaning back against the couch, folding her arms across her chest. “You don’t have to talk about it now. But you know, you’re not alone in this, right?”
I met her eyes, and for a moment, I let myself believe her. Maybe this pain wasn’t mine to carry alone.
Maybe, for tonight, I didn’t have to keep pretending that I had it all figured out.
“Thanks,” I murmured, my voice barely above a whisper, feeling the weight in my chest ease just a little as I let myself believe in her words.
I took a deep breath, the tension in my shoulders still heavy as I recounted everything to Shoko and Utahime. The weight of the situation felt heavier now that I was speaking it out loud, but I couldn’t hold it in anymore. They needed to know—especially after everything I’d just witnessed.
“Yuuji came by earlier today,” I started, my voice quieter than I intended, but steady enough to keep going. "He showed up at my apartment, completely out of the blue, looking... well, he looked like he’d seen a ghost. I could tell something was wrong the minute he walked in."
Shoko raised an eyebrow, shifting slightly in her seat, her expression curious but concerned. Utahime looked at me, her usual stern demeanor softened for a moment as she awaited the rest.
“What happened?” Shoko asked, her voice gentle but insistent.
I hesitated for a moment, my mind replaying the earlier events like a loop. "He was asking me if I’d seen Sukuna. He told me that Sukuna had been holed up in his apartment for days and that he was... acting strange, even for him. Yuuji didn’t want to deal with it alone, so he came to me. I knew something had to be off. Sukuna hasn’t been answering calls or texts, and when Yuuji said he couldn’t even get in contact with him, I just had this gut feeling. I knew exactly where he was."
I paused, swallowing the lump that formed in my throat. "Yuuji said Sukuna’s been shutting everyone out, and I don’t think anyone really knows the extent of it. I don’t know how Yuuji does it, but I could see the worry on his face. He’s scared, Shoko."
Utahime’s eyes narrowed slightly as she processed my words. "And then what? What did you do?"
“I told Yuuji to go back home. I gave him my spare key to my place, just in case Sukuna showed up again, but... something didn’t feel right. I didn’t want Yuuji to be on his own with this, but I couldn’t exactly go to Sukuna’s apartment. I didn’t know how to handle that. So, I called Kenjaku, asked if he knew where Sukuna was. He was quiet at first, but then he told me Sukuna was with him—said he wasn’t doing well.” I looked down at my hands, my fingers fidgeting nervously. “He said... Sukuna was completely off the rails, Yuuji’s not the only one trying to keep him together. He’s falling apart, guys. I’m not sure he even wants help anymore.”
Shoko’s gaze softened, a quiet understanding passing between us. Utahime leaned forward, her arms crossed as she listened closely. “He’s drowning, isn’t he?”
I nodded. "Yeah. I think he’s been drowning for a long time. I don’t think anyone’s been able to reach him, not really. And after everything with Jin... I don’t know if he’s even capable of letting anyone in anymore. It’s like he’s pushing everyone away, even the people who want to help."
Utahime let out a slow exhale, her brow furrowing as she processed the situation. "And you? How do you feel about all of this?"
The question hit me harder than I expected, the weight of it pressing against my chest. I paused, uncertain of how to answer. "I don’t know. I love him, I do. But I can’t keep doing this to myself. I can’t keep waiting for him to pull himself out of this mess he’s made. He has to want it, right? He has to fight for it."
I swallowed hard, blinking back the burning in my eyes. "But I can’t help him if he won’t let me. I don’t even know where to start anymore."
Shoko shifted in her seat, a small, knowing smile pulling at her lips. "Sometimes the hardest thing is realizing that you can’t save someone who doesn’t want to be saved. But that doesn’t mean you don’t care. It just means you have to put yourself first now. He’s got to figure this out on his own, Y/N."
Utahime nodded, her voice quieter now but no less firm. "And you’re not the one who has to carry the weight of his choices anymore. You’ve already done enough."
I let her words sink in, the truth of them slowly loosening the grip of guilt that had been squeezing my chest. Maybe they were right. Maybe Sukuna needed to want help before anyone could reach him. But part of me couldn’t shake the thought—was I giving up too soon? Could I have done more?
"I just want him to be okay," I murmured, the words leaving my mouth before I could stop them. "I just want him to find a way out of all this... for himself."
Shoko leaned forward, resting a hand gently on mine. “I know you do. But sometimes, the best way to help someone is by letting them figure things out on their own. He has to want to get better for himself, not for you, not for anyone else."
I nodded slowly, feeling the weight of her words settle into my bones. I wasn’t sure what the future held for me and Sukuna, but for now, I had to accept that I couldn’t save him. Not unless he was ready to save himself.
The conversation lingered in the air, heavy with unspoken words. Shoko’s hand remained on mine, grounding me as I processed everything. Utahime leaned back in her seat, her arms still crossed as she studied me.
“You did what you could,” Utahime said firmly. “Now it’s up to him. But don’t think for a second that it’s your responsibility to fix him, Y/N. You’ve been through enough.”
I nodded, though the ache in my chest didn’t lessen. “I know. It’s just… it’s hard to see him like that. To see someone you care about destroy themselves.”
Shoko gave me a small, reassuring smile. “It always is. But you have to remind yourself that you can’t set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm. You’re allowed to move on, Y/N. You’re allowed to heal.”
I let out a shaky breath, the weight of their words both comforting and suffocating. I wanted to believe them, to let go of the guilt and pain that had been eating away at me since I walked out of Sukuna’s apartment. But it wasn’t that simple. It never was.
Geto’s voice broke through my thoughts. “You know,” he started, his tone careful, “Sukuna’s not someone who’s easy to reach, but that doesn’t mean you didn’t leave a mark on him. Sometimes people need to hit rock bottom before they realize they need to climb back up. You might have been the first step for him, even if it doesn’t feel like it now.”
I glanced at him, surprised by the insight in his words. Geto had always been quiet, observing from the sidelines, but when he spoke, his words carried weight.
“I don’t know,” I admitted, my voice barely above a whisper. “Maybe you’re right, but it still feels like I failed him. Like I should’ve done more.”
“You didn’t fail him,” Shoko said firmly. “You loved him. That’s not failure. But love isn’t always enough to fix someone. And that’s not on you.”
Her words stung, but they were true. I nodded again, more to myself this time, and took a deep breath. “I just hope he finds his way out of this. For Yuuji, for Choso... for himself.”
Geto stood then, brushing his hands against his jeans. “You’ve done more for him than most people would’ve, Y/N. Now it’s his turn to step up. You’ve got your own life to live, and you deserve to live it without carrying the weight of his choices.”
He glanced at Shoko, a small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. “I’ll text you later, okay?”
Shoko frowned but nodded, clearly still unhappy about him leaving. “Just don’t do anything stupid.”
He chuckled, leaning down to press a quick kiss to her forehead. “I’ll try my best.”
I watched him leave, the door clicking shut behind him, and felt a pang of envy at the ease between them. The love and understanding they shared were palpable, and it made the emptiness Sukuna left behind feel all the more stark.
Shoko turned back to me, her gaze soft but firm. “You’re stronger than you think, Y/N. And you don’t have to carry this alone.”
Utahime nodded in agreement. “We’re here for you. Whatever you need.”
I offered them a small, grateful smile, though it didn’t quite reach my eyes. “Thanks, guys. I appreciate it.”
As the conversation shifted to lighter topics, I tried to focus on the present, but Sukuna’s broken expression lingered in the back of my mind. I didn’t know what the future held for him—or for me—but for now, I had to let go. For my own sake. For my own healing.
—Sukuna’s POV—
I stared at the cigarette between my fingers, watching the ash build and fall like tiny, useless fragments of my life. The apartment was quiet now, save for the faint hum of the heater struggling against the cold. Uraume was gone—finally giving up after one too many of my dismissive grunts. And Y/N… she was gone too.
That thought gnawed at me.
I flicked the cigarette into the ashtray and leaned back, letting the smoke curl lazily around me. My body ached in ways I couldn’t explain. Not just the aftermath of the hospital or the lingering burn of Kenjaku’s words. It was deeper than that, heavier. A dull, throbbing weight that seemed permanently lodged in my chest.
Her voice echoed in my head. The way she said my name—firm, concerned, and just a little broken. Like she still cared, even when I begged her to leave. Maybe especially because I begged her to leave.
I hated it. Hated how much I wanted her to stay. Hated how much I needed her and hated myself for needing her. She didn’t deserve this mess. Didn’t deserve me. I’d proven that a hundred times over.
The door creaked open, and I flinched, expecting Kenjaku to barge back in with another lecture. But it was Uraume, holding two bags of groceries. She glanced at me, rolled her eyes, and started unpacking like I wasn’t there.
“What now?” I muttered, dragging a hand down my face.
“Relax, I’m not here to lecture you,” Uraume said, their tone clipped. “I just thought you might want to eat something that isn’t stale chips or whatever’s left in that takeout box.”
I didn’t respond, turning my head to look at the ceiling instead. The silence stretched between us, thick and uncomfortable. I could feel Uraume’s eyes on me, but I refused to meet their gaze.
Finally, they sighed, setting down a container of food on the coffee table. “Look, I don’t know what happened with Y/N, but if she came all the way here for you, maybe think about why that is.”
I barked out a laugh, bitter and sharp. “She came because she felt guilty. That’s it. She thinks she owes me something. Like she can fix me.”
“And what if she does care?” Uraume shot back, crossing their arms. “What if she actually gives a damn about what happens to you? Ever think about that?”
I sat up abruptly, the movement making my head spin. “It doesn’t matter, Uraume. Caring doesn’t change anything. Caring doesn’t bring Jin back. It doesn’t undo the shit I’ve done. And it sure as hell doesn’t make me any less of a screw-up.”
They didn’t say anything, just stood there with that same unreadable expression they always had. After a moment, they shrugged and turned away, heading to the kitchen. “Whatever you say, Sukuna. But maybe you should figure out what you actually want before you push everyone away for good.”
I dropped back onto the couch, my head pounding. What I wanted? That was easy.
I wanted Jin back. I wanted Grandpa back. I wanted my old life—the one where everything wasn’t broken and I wasn’t dragging the people I cared about down with me. But that life was gone, and wanting it back was as useless as the cigarette butts piling up in the ashtray.
Still, Uraume’s words stuck. Y/N’s face flashed in my mind—those tired eyes, the way her lips trembled when she spoke my name. The way she didn’t flinch, didn’t run when I lashed out.
What the hell did she see in me? Why did she even bother?
I reached for my phone on the table, hesitating for a moment before unlocking it. The screen lit up, the messages from Kenjaku and Toji staring back at me like a slap in the face. No missed calls. No texts from her.
Of course not. Why would there be?
I tossed the phone aside and leaned forward, burying my face in my hands. My mind replayed the conversation from earlier, every word, every look. The regret in her voice when she said my name. The way she fought back tears, trying to stay strong even when I broke her down.
I didn’t deserve her. I knew that. But damn it, I wanted her. I wanted her to pull me out of this pit, even if it was selfish. Even if I dragged her down with me.
But she was right to leave. She was right to walk away.
Because no matter how much I wanted to believe I could change, deep down, I wasn’t sure I even knew how.
I hear the door knock and Toji strolls in. im pissed off thinking how the fuck does he know where I am. He stared at me, then talked to Kenjaku. I saw them walking in my direction. Ken said again "I think you should go to rehab" I closed my eyes trying to drown him out again....I told him. I already told you no, now just stop
Toji leaned against the wall, arms crossed, his usual cocky smirk nowhere in sight. That alone told me he wasn’t here to bullshit around. I glared at him, the weight of their stares burning a hole through me.
Kenjaku crouched in front of me, his face level with mine. "Sukuna," he said calmly, almost like he was trying not to lose his temper. "This isn’t about what you want anymore. This is about what you need."
I scoffed, looking away. "What I need is for you all to get the fuck out of my face. You think rehab’s going to fix anything? You think a few weeks locked away is gonna magically make me less of a fuck-up?"
Toji pushed off the wall, stepping closer. "Maybe not," he said, his voice low but firm. "But sitting here wallowing in your own self-pity sure as hell isn’t doing you any favors either."
I felt my jaw tighten, my fists clenching at my sides. "You don’t know what the hell you’re talking about."
"Oh, don’t I?" Toji shot back, his voice rising. "You think you’re the only one who’s been through shit, Sukuna? The only one who’s lost people? Guess what, man, the world doesn’t stop spinning just because you’re hurting."
"Toji," Kenjaku said sharply, holding up a hand.
"No, let me finish," Toji snapped, his eyes locked on mine. "You wanna drown yourself in booze and pills? Fine. But don’t pretend you’re the only one who’s suffering. Yuuji’s a kid, for fuck’s sake, and he’s holding it together better than you are. What do you think he’s gonna do if you don’t make it out of this? You think he’ll just move on?"
The mention of Yuuji hit me like a punch to the gut, but I didn’t let it show. I wouldn’t give Toji the satisfaction.
Kenjaku leaned closer, his voice softer now but no less insistent. "Sukuna, you’ve got people who care about you. People who want to see you get better. But we can’t do it for you. You have to make the choice."
I closed my eyes, the weight of their words pressing down on me like a goddamn boulder. I didn’t want to hear it. Didn’t want to think about Yuuji, or Choso, or Y/N. It was easier to stay numb, to shut it all out.
"I already told you no," I muttered, my voice barely above a whisper. "Now just stop."
There was a heavy silence, the kind that made the air feel thick and suffocating. Then, Toji let out a long, exasperated sigh.
"You’re a real piece of work, you know that?" he said, shaking his head. "Fine. Stay here. Rot in your own misery if that’s what you want. But don’t expect anyone to keep picking up the pieces when you finally break for good."
He turned and walked out, slamming the door behind him. Kenjaku stayed for a moment longer, his eyes searching mine like he was looking for some shred of hope, some sign that I wasn’t completely lost.
"I’ll give you some time," he said quietly. "But not forever, Sukuna. Think about what you’re throwing away."
And then he was gone too, leaving me alone in the suffocating silence of my own damn thoughts
Toji paused on his way out, turning back to face me. His expression shifted, an edge of disgust crossing his features. “Didn’t you take Yuuji to live with you and Megumi?” I snapped, trying to push him away with my words. “He’s fine. And Choso’s a grown-ass man. Why don’t you save the lecture for someone who gives a damn?”
Toji stared at me for a moment, his eyes narrowing. “You really think that’s all there is to it?” he said slowly, his voice dangerously calm. “What about Y/N?”
I tensed, glaring at him. “What about her?”
He smirked, but there was no humor in it. “Didn’t you fuck her? What if she’s pregnant?”
The words hit me like a truck, but I shoved the thought aside.
She’s not pregnant. She can’t be. And even if she was, what does it matter? It’s not my problem.
“Who cares if she is?” I shot back, my voice venomous. “I don’t. She means nothing to me. I don’t know why you guys keep acting like she was ever anything more than a good time.”
Toji’s expression darkened, his jaw tightening as he stared me down. “You’re a goddamn liar,” he said finally, his voice cold and cutting.
I didn’t say anything, just clenched my fists tighter, nails digging into my palms.
What the hell did he know? What the hell did any of them know?
Toji shook his head, the disappointment in his eyes cutting deeper than I wanted to admit. “You wanna pretend like she didn’t mean something to you, fine. But don’t expect anyone else to buy into your bullshit. Especially not yourself.”
And with that, he walked out, slamming the door behind him.
I slumped back onto the couch, my head spinning.
Who the fuck does he think he is, coming in here and saying that shit to me? Like he knows what I’m dealing with. Like he knows what I feel.
But the worst part? He wasn’t wrong.
I closed my eyes, trying to block out the memories of Y/N. Her smile, her laugh, the way she used to look at me like I was worth something. Like I wasn’t the broken mess I am.
Stop it. She’s gone. She left. And good for her. She doesn’t need this shit.
But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t shake the gnawing ache in my chest. The one that whispered she meant more than I wanted to admit. That she still did.
I wanted more drugs, maybe sleep. I wasn’t even sure anymore. My head was a mess, a tangled web of thoughts I couldn’t unravel.
Y/N… pregnant? No. Hell no. I shook the thought out of my head, like swatting away a fly.
There’s no way. And even if she was, it doesn’t matter.
I pushed myself off the couch, the weight of my own body feeling heavier than it should. My legs felt like jelly, the room spinning slightly as I stood up. I barely took a step before my knees buckled, and I hit the floor hard.
“Fuck,” I hissed, clutching my head as a sharp pain shot through it. My palms pressed against the cold floor as I tried to steady my breathing.
I need to chill. I just need to breathe.
But it wasn’t just the withdrawal or the physical exhaustion. It was everything else swirling in my head. Y/N’s face flashing in my mind, Toji’s words digging into my chest, Kenjaku’s voice still ringing in my ears about rehab.
I leaned my forehead against the floor, my fists clenching.
Why can’t I just shut it all off? Just for a little while?
The idea of her being pregnant—it was absurd. It had to be. But the thought wouldn’t stop gnawing at me. What if? What if she was? What if she wasn’t?
And what if I wasn’t even around to find out?
I laughed bitterly, the sound hollow in the empty room. “She’s better off without me,” I muttered under my breath.
Still, the thought wouldn’t leave. It lingered, festering like an open wound, making my chest tighten.
I forced myself to sit up, leaning against the couch as I rubbed my hands over my face. I could feel my body screaming for another hit, another drink, anything to numb the storm in my head.
But deep down, I knew nothing would make it stop. Not really.
Kenjaku strolled over and pulled me up off the floor, his grip firm, almost too tight. I hadn't even realized I was still on the ground until he yanked me upright.
"You need help," he said, his voice low and steady, but his eyes burned with something harsher—disappointment, maybe, or frustration.
I let out a humorless laugh, shaking my head. "No," I muttered, my voice cracking slightly. "I don’t need help. I need it to stop."
He didn’t say anything, just stared at me like he was waiting for more.
“The noise, the thoughts... I just need it all to stop,” I continued, my hands trembling as I tried to steady myself against the couch. "Maybe a Xanax... something to take the edge off."
Kenjaku’s lips curled into a bitter scoff, and before I could react, he shoved me back down onto the floor. The impact jarred me, knocking the air out of my lungs for a second.
“You’re unbelievable,” he snapped, standing over me like I was some kind of pathetic, broken thing. “You think another pill is going to fix this? That it’ll fix you?”
I glared up at him, my hands braced against the floor. “Why the fuck do you care, huh? You’re not my family. You’re not my fucking anything!”
Kenjaku crossed his arms, his expression cold, almost calculating. "Maybe not, but someone has to give a damn about you since you clearly don’t."
His words hit harder than I wanted to admit. I turned my face away, staring at the cigarette butt smoldering in the ashtray on the table. “You don’t know what it’s like,” I muttered, my voice barely above a whisper.
“What’s that?” he asked, leaning down slightly.
“To live with this... this constant noise,” I said, tapping my temple. "The memories, the guilt, the fucking pressure. You don’t know what it’s like to feel like you’re drowning every single second of the day and to know no one can pull you out."
Kenjaku crouched down, his face level with mine. “You think you’re the only one who’s ever dealt with shit? You think you're special because you're in pain? Grow up, Sukuna.”
I clenched my fists, my jaw tightening. “Fuck you.”
“No,” he said, standing back up. “Fuck you for thinking this is how it has to be. You’re better than this, but you’re too much of a coward to try.”
I looked away, swallowing hard. His words cut deep, but I didn’t want to show it. Didn’t want to give him the satisfaction.
“I’ll tell you what,” Kenjaku continued, his tone softening just slightly. “You want the noise to stop? You want to get out of this pit you’ve thrown yourself into? Fine. But it’s going to take more than a fucking Xanax.”
I didn’t respond, didn’t even look at him. But somewhere, deep down, a small, flickering thought took root.
What if he was right?
Kenjaku’s eyes narrowed, and his voice dripped with disdain as he went in on me.
“When was the last time you even looked at yourself, man? You’re withering away. Skin and bones. Walking around like a ghost of who you used to be,” he said, pacing in front of me like he was building up momentum. “Is this what you want? To fade into nothing?”
I clenched my jaw, refusing to meet his gaze. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Oh, don’t I?” he shot back, stopping abruptly to stare me down. “When was the last time you did anything that wasn’t about numbing yourself? Did you even sign up for the new school year? Or is that just another thing you’ve let rot?”
I bristled at his tone, my fists tightening at my sides. “I took time off. You know that.”
“Yeah, when Jin died,” he replied, his voice softening for a split second before hardening again. “And I understood. Everyone did. But you said one year, Sukuna. One year. Now look at you. What the hell are you even doing?”
“I’m dropping out,” I said flatly, my voice low but steady.
Kenjaku stopped pacing, blinking like he couldn’t believe what he’d just heard. Then he laughed.
A sharp, bitter laugh that cut through the room like a knife.
“Dropping out?” he repeated, his eyebrows raising in mock surprise. “That’s your big plan? Just throw it all away? Jesus Christ, Sukuna. Do you even hear yourself?”
“I don’t care about school, Ken,” I snapped, finally looking up at him. “It doesn’t matter. None of it fucking matters.”
He scoffed, crossing his arms over his chest. “Of course, it doesn’t matter to you. Nothing does anymore, does it? Not school, not your family, not even yourself.”
“Don’t bring my family into this,” I warned, my voice low and dangerous.
“Oh, I’m bringing them into this,” Kenjaku fired back. “Because while you’re busy spiraling, they’re the ones who have to deal with the fallout. Yuuji. Choso. Hell, even Toji. They’re all trying to hold it together while you—”
“SHUT UP!” I shouted, cutting him off. My voice echoed in the room, and for a moment, everything went silent.
I could feel my chest heaving, my fists trembling. Kenjaku didn’t flinch. He just stared at me, his expression unreadable.
“You’re better than this, Sukuna,” he said quietly, his tone lacking the usual sharpness. “Or at least, you used to be. But if you want to throw it all away, fine. Just don’t pretend like it’s anyone’s fault but yours.”
I didn’t respond. Couldn’t. The weight of his words pressed down on me, suffocating, but undeniable.
I glanced around the room, my gaze flickering over the scattered bottles, the ashtray overflowing with cigarette butts, and the faces staring at me—Kenjaku’s, Uraume’s. It felt like they were all closing in, suffocating me.
They don’t get it. None of them do.
The words echoed in my head, growing louder and louder until they slipped past my lips before I even realized it.
“I don’t wanna be here anymore.”
The room froze. The air felt heavy, and for a moment, I thought maybe I hadn’t said it out loud. But then Uraume’s voice broke the silence, soft but trembling.
“You don’t mean that,” they said, stepping closer. Their eyes searched mine, desperate for something—anything—that would prove I wasn’t serious.
I didn’t answer. I couldn’t.
Kenjaku’s jaw tightened, his sharp gaze cutting through me like a blade. “Sukuna,” he said, his voice low and firm. “Don’t say shit like that unless you’re ready to have a real conversation about it.”
“I’m not having a fucking conversation,” I snapped, the words coming out harsher than I intended. “It’s not a cry for help, okay? It’s just the truth.”
“You’re lying to yourself,” Uraume said, their voice stronger now, almost angry. “You’re drowning, Sukuna, and instead of reaching for help, you’re just letting yourself sink. But don’t drag us down with you.”
I flinched at their words, my body tensing.
“Sink or swim, huh?” I muttered bitterly, shaking my head. “That’s what everyone keeps saying. Like it’s that fucking simple.”
“It’s not simple,” Kenjaku cut in, his tone sharper now. “But you don’t get to just give up and act like you’ve got no choices. You’re still here, Sukuna. That means something.”
I laughed, a hollow, bitter sound that made Uraume flinch. “You’re all so sure it does. But if I’m just gonna keep fucking everything up, what’s the point? Jin’s gone because of me. Grandpa’s gone. Everyone would’ve been better off if I wasn’t—”
“Don’t finish that sentence,” Uraume snapped, their voice cracking with emotion. “Don’t you dare.”
I looked up at them, my vision blurring. Their face was a mix of anger and pain, their fists clenched tightly at their sides.
“Do you really believe that?” Kenjaku asked, his voice quieter now but no less intense. “That the people who love you would be better off without you? Think about Yuuji. Choso. Hell, even Y/N. You really think they’d be better without you?”
My throat tightened, and I swallowed hard, the lump refusing to go away.
“I don’t know,” I whispered. The words felt like glass, sharp and jagged as they left my mouth. “I don’t know anything anymore.”
Uraume stepped closer, placing a hand on my shoulder. “Then let us help you figure it out,” they said softly. “But you have to let us in, Sukuna. You can’t keep shutting everyone out.”
I didn’t respond. I couldn’t. The weight of their words pressed against my chest, making it hard to breathe.
Part of me wanted to believe them.
But the other part—the louder part—kept screaming that it didn’t matter. That nothing mattered.
I looked away, unable to meet their eyes.
I was tired. Tired of the fighting, the guilt, the endless cycle of fucking up and trying to fix it.
“I’ll think about it,” I muttered finally, the words feeling empty even as I said them.
Kenjaku didn’t look convinced, but he nodded. “That’s a start,” he said. “But thinking isn’t enough, Sukuna. Eventually, you’re gonna have to do something.”
Eventually.
I needed to go back home. back to work. I need to stifle myself a bit. I got up to leave. then I hit the floor.
FUCK!
#jjk x black reader#sukuna x black reader#sukuna angst#sukuna x female reader#sukuna smut#sukuna#jjk x reader#jjk x you#sukuna x reader#ryomen sukuna#black tumblr#black reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen#sherewrytes
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Safeguarding
High school Caleb x MC, no in a relationship, third POV
Trigger Warning: bullying, so there will be phrases that could be triggering, such as comments of one's look, taking of one's life, etc, and violence. Do not read this if any of those could trigger you.
Word count: 2331, no proofreading
Preview: Old days - MC was being bullied when she was in freshman. Once junior Caleb heard this, he decided to teach those bullies a lesson. *Cue overprotective Caleb*
Note: Guess what I'm supposed to be doing? That's right! Studying! And guess what I'm doing instead? Simping for Caleb and Sylus Procrastinating! Whoo! Anyway, enjoy high school Caleb and MC. I love their cute interactions during their days in high school and college. It's so cute. OMG.
Tagging: @madam8, @gavin3469
MC was excited to start high school because, for two years, she and Caleb had been going to two different schools. When she and Caleb were in middle school, Caleb would always sit with her during lunch, tutor her with classes she was struggling with, and finally, he would always wait for her outside during the last period of class so they could walk home together.
Two years ago, Caleb started high school and things haven't been the same. If she and her friends had an argument, she would sit all by herself during lunch. After school, she ends up walking all by herself to the high school to watch Caleb's practice. However, some things didn't change: Caleb continued to tutor her except it was at home and they would still walk home together, except it was after his practice. Being the most amazing friend she is, she would attend all of Caleb's basketball games.
Once she start high school, she can finally spend more time with Caleb as they did in middle school. That's why MC was excited to go to high school. At least, was.
During middle school, she knows pretty much everyone in the school, since it's located in their town. Everyone knows who she and Caleb are. No one dared to anger Caleb because he once harshly disciplined a kid who tried to make fun of MC. So MC never really experienced bullying from other students.
The high school, however, is located further away, near a city, where other towns would go to the same high school. There are all sorts of people going to the same high school and that includes bullies.
During her first day of high school, Caleb drove them both to the high school. It's her first day being a freshman while it's junior for Caleb. They waved goodbye and started their separate classes.
Except, her first "class" started when a bunch of girls shoved her head in the toilet while laughing and giggling. Many of them commented on how she dressed, even though they were wearing the same uniform. Others commented on her looks.
When lunchtime rolled around, MC felt her excitement bubbling from her chest. She excitedly shoved her books into her bag and started to walk out of class when the same mean girls blocked her path.
"Going somewhere in a hurry?" The "leader" of the girls asked.
"Yes, please step aside," MC answered, trying to walk around them. But every time she did that, they would continue to block her path.
Then another girl walked into the class, all excited. "Omg, omg," She ran toward the mean girls. "You know that hot junior?"
The girls squealed excitedly, "Omg, omg, Caleb?"
"Yes! He's outside this class! He looked like he was waiting for someone!" The girls looked at the "leader" of their group.
The leader quickly adjusted her hair and clothing, "Wait for me for good news, girls!" And with that, she left the classroom.
MC hangs her head while she listens to the conversation outside the classroom.
"Hey!" MC could hear the fake high voice from the leader.
"Hey, pip-" Caleb paused. "Uh-"
"I heard a lot about you, Caleb."
"Uh, great. Where is MC? I'm pretty sure she has this class before lunch."
"She's not here. Want to have lunch with me, instead?"
"If she's not here, where is she?"
"Not sure, but do you want to have-" MC could hear the footsteps shuffling outside the classroom. Then she heard Caleb's voice, loud and clear.
"Pip-squeak!" MC looked up and saw Caleb waving from the doorway, showing his bright smile. "We finally are having lunch together!"
MC could only strain a smile. She was already having the worst day possible but she didn't want to ruin Caleb's day. However, Caleb already could tell she was forcing a smile.
"Did you make new friends? How's high school? How are the classes?" Being Caleb, he already started to throw questions at her. Then he leaned down and patted her head, "What's wrong?" His voice was gentle, so gentle it nearly made MC to break down and tell him what's wrong.
Before MC could answer, the girls quickly interjected, "She got into trouble in class."
"Yea, she couldn't understand simple math."
MC quickly shook her head, "It's not-"
Caleb, however, kept his smile. "Perfect, this is just like middle school. Here, let me help you with math while we eat lunch." He grabbed onto her hand and led her out of the classroom.
Suddenly, one of the girls yelled, "Don't touch her! She has cooties!"
Caleb looked back with a very confused look, "Those things don't exist. I thought you all being in high school already knew that, no?"
The leader once again tries her luck, "You shouldn't go out with her. She drinks from the toilet water."
Caleb looked at the leader then back to MC, "Are you sure these are your new friends? I would suggest to you to ditch them. They don't sound very nice."
The comment immedietly infuriated the girls, "At least we are prettier than this pig."
MC could see Caleb fuming from the comment so she held onto his arm, "Caleb, don't." Knowing full well what he would do.
Caleb took a deep breath as if to calm himself before smiling his signature bright smile. "If I say those girls look like pigs, I would be insulting the pigs. But alright, let's go." He took your hand and led you toward the cafeteria, completely ignoring the girls.
As cliche as it sounds, lunch is truly the best "class subject". MC enjoyed her time with Caleb. It was like they were back in middle school. Talking and laughing, even the silence wasn't awkward.
However, MC's happiness didn't last long. Right after lunch, those mean girls invited their own friends and brothers to join in the bullying. They went as far as throwing her books out the window, scribbling on her notebook, pushing her around, and slamming her on the lockers all the while speaking mean things to her.
"Your looks don't deserve Caleb's attention."
"I'm sure Caleb just took pity on you."
"You're ugly, might as well just end yourself."
MC lay on the floor sobbing while her body was littered with cuts and bruises. "Please leave me alone."
"Aww," One of the boys mocked, "Please leave me alone."
"So pathetic."
Suddenly, something flew across the hallway, striking one of the boys down. MC looked at the object to see a book about plane models lying on the floor.
"I was wondering what would've caused her to be so upset." MC sucked in her breath, immediately knowing who that voice belonged to.
The mean girls immedietly changed their tone and sounded more shy compared to when they were bullying her. "Caleb!"
"Caleb, I didn't know you're here!"
"We're just here to teach her a lesson for dirtying your clothes."
"Yea, that's right. She's very dirty. She drank toilet water-"
"Fuck off." MC widens her eyes. This was the first time she had ever heard Caleb swear. She looked up to see Caleb walking toward her. He took off his sweatshirt and covered her. "Stay here." His tone was much more gentler than when he was talking to her bullies.
One second he was covering MC with his sweatshirt, the next, he punched a boy so hard he was knocked out immediately from contact. The other boys and girls were staring in shock. This boy that Caleb had just knocked out was a senior who was slightly taller than Caleb.
"If you all try to hurt her again," The bullies looked up at Caleb as he tried to contain his anger. "And I'll make sure your parents won't even recognize you once I'm done with you."
The bullies stood there in shock as Caleb carried you to the nurse's office.
"Next time, pip-squeak, you should tell me immediately if anyone is hurting you."
MC leaned into his embrace, "I didn't want to bother you."
"Nothing you do bothers me."
MC sniffled, "Caleb?" Tears already spilling down her cheeks.
"Don't cry while I'm carrying you. I won't be able to wipe your tears."
"Am I ugly?" MC sobbed. "Am I dragging you down?"
"Nonsense, you're always pretty. If we want to talk about who's dragging who down, it's clearly me who's dragging you down."
"Are you saying that to make me feel better? Do you take pity on me?"
Caleb softly chuckled, "Pip-squeak. I've known you since we were kids. Have I ever took pity on you? Pretty sure I was the one who pushed you into the pool."
"I still haven't forgiven you."
"Yea, yea, I know."
As soon as Caleb dropped you off at the nurse's office, an announcement called in, "Caleb, 3rd year, principle's office immediately."
MC grabbed on Caleb's sleeve, "Caleb?" Her eyes watered as tears continued to spill. "Are you in trouble?"
Caleb chuckled and wiped her tears, "Don't worry about me, pip-squeak. I'll be back before you know it."
MC nodded before hesitantly letting go of his sleeves. She lay on the bed while the nurse put band-aid and ice packs on her wounds.
Once Caleb arrived at the office, he was doing some breathing exercises before going to the principal's office. Not because he's nervous, but because he's trying to calm himself down or else he'll end up hurting everyone in the office. He knocked twice before opening the door.
Inside the room sat the principal behind his desk and the senior bully with his parents. The mother was coaxing and soothed this boy as if he were a toddler while the father just sat there with his arms crossed as if he didn't want to be here. Caleb wanted to roll his eyes. No wonder this senior is a bully: his parents look just as bad as he does.
"Caleb," the principal called out. "I'm curious and tell me the truth. Did you actually used violence against a student today?"
The principal asked this because Caleb was one of the best student this school had. He was asked several times to skip grades but he refused several times.
Caleb huffed, "Yes, I did.."
"Good, I thought you actually did- wait, what did you just say?" The principal was dumbstruck because he wasn't expecting such a great student to resort to violence.
"Caleb, let me make myself clear: It is against school policy to use violence, especially to another student."
"Wasn't he the one who used violence against a student first?" Caleb snapped. "I'm sure in your policy, it said bullying is not tolerated."
Once again, the principal was dumbstruck. He was opening his mouth and closing it, unable to argue against Caleb.
"Look at this child!" The mother screeched, "He had no remorse for hurting my baby!"
"Ma'am," The principal quickly tries to calm her down.
Caleb turned toward the mother. She was patting his son's head. He could see the name tag on the left side of her breast. "Ms." He narrowed his eyes slightly. "Tuskan. Your son bullied a friend of mine. It's your son who had no remorse for hurting someone else's child."
"You!" The mother shrieked. She immedietly stood up and stomp her way toward Caleb, pointing her finger at him, but her height was nowhere close to Caleb's. "You're a monster!"
Caleb glared down at her, "I didn't know the company you work for would hire you. Guess they hire anyone nowadays."
"Excuse me? You better be careful what you say. I will get you suspended."
"Is this a threat?"
"Damn right, it is. You better fucking sleep with an eye open, you bastard!"
"Thank you for clarifying," Caleb said sarcastically. "First off, under this school's policy, swear words are prohibited. You had violated that rule."
"You!"
"Second, I have this in a recording. I will be sending this recording to your boss."
The mother's face paled, and she turned toward her husband, asking for support. "Why aren't you backing me up?"
The husband looked annoyed, "What am I supposed to do? Our son just bullied someone and this kid taught him a lesson. Maybe that'll stop him from being an asshole."
The mother whipped her head back to Caleb and gave him the nastiest look. But Caleb just smirked, "Ma'am, here's some advice for you and your son. I advise you to teach your son how to be a decent human being and I advise your son to stop bullying, especially toward my friend. Because the next time I see him near her, he won't come back unscathed." Then Caleb looked at the principal, "I expect you and this school to do a better job upholding the policies. The next time I hear any bullying, I will report this school. Do I make myself clear?"
The principal quickly nodded. Caleb smiled, "Good, think we are done here."
"Wait," the mother stopped him. Caleb slightly winced at her annoying voice. "I need that recording."
Caleb scoffed, "Heh, no. I expect you to do what I asked or else I will be sending this to your boss." He looked over to the father. "and yours too." Sending the last warning, he showed himself out of the principal's office. As he closed the door, the mother and father were having a screaming match in the office.
"Look at what you've done! If I lose this job, I'm divorcing you!"
"What kind of father are you? Why can't you support me and your son?"
Caleb smiled to himself before returning back to MC's side.
Ever since that incident, no one dared to bully MC ever again. Because wherever she is, Caleb is right there behind her. Anyone who dared to hurt her would either return to school with a cast on or never return back to school. This infamous story was even used in the school's anti-bully projects, even after those two had long graduated from high school.
Dividers, headers, banners, and templates used on this post are from @uzmacchiato
#love and deepspace#caleb love and deepspace#caleb fic#caleb#lads caleb#love and deepspace caleb#lnds caleb#caleb x mc#caleb lads#lnd caleb#caleb fluff
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Days, Weeks, Months, Years (9/10)
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader
Fandoms: MCU, Marvel
Warnings: Coma, Cursing, Implied almost self harm
1 // 2 // 3 // 4 // 5 // 6 // 7 // 8 // 9 // 10
*******
In the days you were gone, I mean physically there but mentally gone, the compound was at a standstill.
The only person who didn't understand it all was Valentina. She had expected to be interrogated and grilled. Maybe even tortured or maimed by Bucky or someone, but she was just locked in a room and fed three times a day. It was like she was already in prison. Which didn't make sense to her because no one knew why she did it.
****
The Avengers took shifts being in that room with you, but Bucky never left. He slept with his head on your bed and his hand holding yours. Sometimes, he was convinced to eat, but after a certain point, it was to keep himself from passing out during the day.
The Avengers took shifts being in that room with you, but Bucky was also given some time alone with you. When it was just you and him, Bucky would pray like he never had before, which he hadn't, not since the 40s, anyway. Bucky would talk to you, too.
"...Everyone...Everyone always talks to people when they're in your position. But...I don't know what else to say other than I'm sorry...I'm so sorry, doll...Not just for not being able to s-save you, but for...for not being able to be with you...Really with you. Like you deserve.
"When you first got here, I knew I was in trouble. You were everything. Smart, beautiful, badass, sexy; I barely knew what to do with myself around you. So, I did what I always do. I shut down completely, and I waited for you to go away.
"But you never did. Wherever I went, you were always there at my side. At first, I found it annoying because I could never be at ease around you, but soon, that all went away. Soon, you were you and I was me and there was nothing that could keep us apart. And...that scared me.
"Then, that first night happened. We were alone, watching that cheesy movie you love, and I...I couldn't help myself. God, that night was perfect. You were perfect. I mean, you're always perfect--But I'm getting ahead of myself.
"Despite how amazing everything was that night, I don't remember being more scared than that morning after--excluding the past few days, of course.
"I woke up that morning, I looked at you, you were still asleep, and all I could think about was fucking this up--fucking you up.
"God, I am such an idiot. I preach about how much I don't want to hurt you, yet that's what I've been doing all this time. God, why can't I just get my shit together--" Bucky's hands were shaking as he flexed them in front of his face. It looked like he was going to hit something, maybe himself.
"Stop." Your voice, barely audible, told him. You gently touched his hand that was closest to you, your weak a hand a stark contrast to his strong one.
Bucky gasped when he heard your voice and felt you touch him. "Y/n?" He wondered if you were really there.
He saw your eyes barely open to look at him.
"Hey," he softly greeted, took a big breath, then repeated, even softer, "Hey." Bucky adjusted himself accordingly to get closer to you.
The smallest of smiles appeared on your face. "Missed you."
Bucky let you take his face into your hand. He whispered, "Missed you, too."
*******
1 // 2 // 3 // 4 // 5 // 6 // 7 // 8 // 9 // 10
Author's Note: Thank you for reading! Fill up that heart and reblog if you liked it! I would also really appreciate a comment, if you have the time. If you would like to read more, check out my masterlist. Have a nice day, night, or whatever time it is for you! <3 <3 <3
*******
Tag List: @sidraaaaaaaaa // @dontworryboutitsweetheartxx-blog // @mayusenpai666 // @onceithough // @greatenthusiasttidalwave // @shadowzena43 // @ampersam // @sebastians-love // @cjand10 // @silentwhisper666 // @superaveng // @vicmc624 // @ltsaradharkness
#bucky#bucky x reader#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes#sebastian stan#companion jones#days weeks months years#dwmy
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Back Forty View (On Our Piece Of Ground)
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8 - You Had Me From That First Hello
Pairings: Tyler Owens x OFC Georgia Tennley-Owens, Jake 'Hangman' Seresin x OFC Samantha Kazansky
Rating: Explicit (MDNI!)
Warnings: nothing spectacular just some raunchy language from Jake and Tyler and pregnancy/baby talk
A/N: This chapter and the next are kind of a jumble of stuff because Jake and Sam need to go back to California soon and figure some things out lol. Nothing special with this one just lots of pregnancy/baby talk! Thank y'all for continuing to read! Hope you enjoy! Gifs by @kaizsche, pictures from Pinterest! As always likes, comments, reblogs, etc. are so so appreciated! This one has some song notes through out so hit play on those for the full experience!
Tags: @mrsevans90 @djs8891 @gpsmississippihippie @dizzybee03 @barnesboo1967 @coloraturadiva @kmc1989
It always ended the same way. Tyler and Jake would go for a short drive, out in the back forty and listen to whatever music they had on hand. This particular time, Jake had graduated Top Gun, top of his class and he’d come home to tell Kenny, Jeanie, and Tyler in person. They were going to celebrate later on, but not before the boys had their own little festivities, which included a jaunt through the wilds of Arkansas in Tyler’s new truck. Tyler had just gotten a beautiful red Dodge dually, diesel, 3500. Bone stock, but Jake knew that his brother was about to modify the shit out of it. After Jake had put his bags down in the living room, hugged his mother and Kenny, Tyler nearly dragged him out the door and pushed him toward the passenger side. Jake hopped in and they set off down the road. Tyler wanted to test the truck out first with his favorite person in the world. Jake.
They cranked the radio, Tyler putting his spotify on shuffle, with a country playlist like they always went for when they headed out on adventures. The drums, tambourine, and guitar all melded in through the speakers and out the open windows. Tyler had his cowboy hat on, a new one he’d just gotten and sunglasses, and Jake had a backwards baseball cap, one that used to be Tyler’s, and his own set of sunglasses, his favorite pair that he kept on him exclusively for show. He only wore them up in a jet, or with Tyler in the truck.
As the lyrics flowed through the speakers, Tyler hummed and Jake stuck his arm out the window, his smile wide. When the chorus came up, both boys belted out the lyrics.
“I need a pretty little homegrown hometown girl, with a ribbon tyin’ back those waterfall curls, I been lookin’ all over all over the world, for a pretty little homegrown hometown girl!” They sung in unison, glancing at each other and smirking.
“I know exactly who you’re talkin’ about, T.” Jake pursed his lips. He knew Tyler was still on about the girl who’d left him. Jake knew he would always be about that girl. He believed those two were soulmates, just put together at the wrong time and they’d find each other again. Damn it if Tyler wouldn’t do everything he could to find her. In the meantime though, Tyler would joke that Jake is his soulmate.
“You talkin’ about anyone in particular?” Tyler asked, his hand gliding along the fresh, new leather of the steering wheel. The truck smelled new and they both couldn’t get enough of it. It was a comfortable ride, and Tyler was the only person that Jake trusted to drive. That was why Jake could never be a back seater. He couldn’t handle having someone in control of where they were in the air, but on the ground, he’d give up all of that to Tyler. And no matter how sketchy things got, he always put his faith in Tyler.
“Nah, no one. I’d like a little hometown girl though. Pretty little brunette maybe? Big tits and a big ass? Someone that’d look fuckin good on my arm at Navy Balls and all that shit.” JAke said and Tyler blew air from his lips.
“Yur a slut, y’know that?” Tyler joked and Jake reached over and punched him in the shoulder lightly. “Not from our hometown though. Ain’t none’a these girls good enough for you Jake, I tell ya.”
“Nah, maybe a California girl. Pretty, tan, and like I said, brunette. She’s gotta be a brunette. God, I’d love a hot little brunette to be sitting on my couch in my Cowboys jersey, watching football on a sunday. Fuck.” Jake shook his head and Tyler couldn’t help the laugh that left his lips. He glanced over at Jake, who smirked and tilted his head.
“Yeah and I’d take a cute lil’ blonde barrel racer girl that I could have a few kids with, a farm and go roping on the weekends. Maybe we can watch football, but maybe we could go do fun shit with the kids too.” Tyler’s smile faded slightly and then he shot a look at Jake, whose jaw stiffened.
“Don’t ruin the mood you jackass.” Jake chucked a bottle cap at Tyler that he’d found lodged between the seats. Brand new truck and his brother already had crap everywhere. “Don’t get sentimental on me, you dick.”
“I’m not...I’m just...I don’t know. I’m gonna miss ya, Jakey.” Tyler said and Jake grabbed his brother’s shoulder. Tyler turned down a dirt road and pushed the truck a little faster, letting the suspension and tires do some work. The boys were quiet as the next song came over the speakers, making them grin. They belted the song, both of them tapping their hands on the outside of the truck as Tyler steered the monster through thickening brush and low, muddy spots.
“Gotta git down, gotta git down to Arkansas, havin’ so much fun that it’s probably a little bit against the law! All the boys and the girls down there sure know how to have a ball! If ya wanna git down gotta git down to Arkansas!”
The truck bumped along and almost bottomed out, crunching sticks underneath its six tires and heavy frame as they navigated out of the worst of the trail. On the other end was a clearing, a big field that ended at a small cliff, where it overlooked the Arkansas River. They were just in time. Tyler parked some feet from the edge and both boys climbed up onto the roof of the truck, the newly installed rack above the cab the perfect spot for them to sit. Their legs hung off in front of the front windshield and Jake pulled two cans of shitty beer from his sweatshirt pocket, handing one to his brother and cracking his own open. They gazed up at a darkening sky, watching as a storm began to build just on the other side of the river, several miles away. It was heading away east from them so they weren’t worried about it.
“There might be a tornado in that one.” Tyler said, pointing toward the front of the storm. Jake’s brows raised.
“You gonna take me on a chase any time soon?”
“Yeah when you come back from your next deployment. We’ll go. I’ll have the truck modded out by then. It’ll be able to withstand an F-1 at the least.”
“You're nuts. But I believe in you. I know you’ll get it done.”
🌪️🛻🛩️⚓
When Tyler and Georgia brought Jaycen home for the first time, there was a palpable fear between them. They didn’t know how to care for a kid. Sure, they’d read some books, talked to everyone they could, got a hundred opinions, but now it was up to them to really figure it out.
They knew the first week would be exhausting. They had already been running on fumes, so any chance they got to sleep was going to be key. Jaycen was pretty consistent about sleeping. He’d be down for a couple of hours and then wake up, begging for something to eat. They’d decided it was best for them to do mixed feeding, so that if Georgia was too tired, Tyler was able to take over and feed Jaycen. Jake and Sam had also volunteered to help out, figuring they could use the experience if they wanted to have kids too.
Samantha had really taken to the little guy. The tufts of hair on his head were her favorite thing and she gently brushed them back and forth when she held him. Jake’s favorite thing about Jaycen was that he was kind of a sassy little boy. He would stick his chubby little fingers in his mouth when he wanted food and then, and he only did it to Tyler and Jake, would smack them on their arm several times while his bottle was being prepared. Tyler was determined to keep the temperature consistent, not too hot and not too cold. Georgia appreciated his attentiveness not only to Jaycen but also to her.
When Georgia was feeling particularly tired, Tyler would bring Jaycen to her, that way if she wanted to feed him in bed she could. Georgia already adored the little boy, who had the same sage green eyes as his father. She loved looking into his big green eyes, full of curiosity for the world in front of him. Tyler’s favorite thing about the small human was that he would just stare at Georgia, his focus never leaving his mother. He understood that, because he felt the same. He loved Georgia and he knew that the little boy would love her too.
The great thing about having Jake and Sam around was that they could help with everything on the farm. Tyler had delegated to Boone for anything for the channel and they’d made a short video introducing the newest storm chaser. There had been a lot of congratulations but there had also been some salty comments from the sore losing fangirls who thought they’d had a chance with Tyler. They even went so far as to comment on Ophelia’s videos that she’d taken of Georgia helping her, saying that Georgia didn’t know everything. Georgia would be the first to admit that though, so it didn’t bother her. Ophelia shut down everyone that came into her comments, defending her mentor fiercely.
As for the Wranglers, there was the pro-Georgia camp and the anti-Georgia camp there. It was really just a couple of recurring girls who were pissed that Tyler had flirted with them once or twice at a bar or at a rodeo and they never got their chance with him. Tyler made it a point every time he was on the stream or in the chat that any Georgia hate was not allowed. He was even slightly passive aggressive at times, which it seemed some people actually enjoyed. He’d make comments like ‘god I love my wife so much’ or ‘can’t wait to get back out there chasin’ but am really gonna miss my wife and kid’.
During that first week that Jaycen was home, Kate had taken over the channel with Boone. Even though they both had significant others at this point, they were still a highly chaotic couple when they were together. Boone thought it was hilarious when Kate drove, because she was honestly a bad driver. She sped far too often and hit the brake far too late most of the time. She had no consideration for either truck, so much so that Tyler and Boone were constantly sending her trucks so that she could get her own. They would do all the modifications of course and help make it perfect, but she really needed her own so that she could stop crashing and trashing theirs.
For the first week, Tyler and Georgia kept Jaycen close to the house. The dogs were absolutely ecstatic to have the bundle of joy around. They constantly followed whoever had Jaycen in their arms, their eyes focused on the boy. Pancake loved to sit next to them on the couch and try to lick Jaycen’s feet. It would make the little boy giggle and squirm to the point he would get the hiccups.
Grits was very protective of the boy. He would sit by whichever parent had him, almost on top of their feet and survey the room constantly. The red heeler would whine when Jaycen cried and howl when he laughed. Waffles was the one who got right up in Jaycen’s face. She would sit on the arm of the couch, touching her nose to the top of his head or sneaking in a lick to the baby’s face when she thought Georgia or Tyler weren’t looking.
Georgia wanted so badly to take Jaycen out to the barn, but she knew they should wait. The waiting was hell though. She could see from the kitchen window that Ducati would stare at the house, as if he knew his rider had come into this world. She couldn’t wait to introduce the mustang to his kid.
“You know how much more I love you? I mean...I loved you before, obviously...but now..it’s just tenfold. You made my dreams come true, Peach.’ Tyler said softly, as he wrapped his arms around her waist, resting his head on her shoulder. He peered down at his son in her arms and his heart overflowed with happiness. Georgia hummed and tilted her head, touching her temple to his. She blinked slowly as she looked from the squirmy bundle in her arms, to her proud husband. She leaned back against him, and he began to sway back and forth.
“I love you too, Tyler. And I love our son too.” She murmured softly, letting him rock her gently. The motion comforted Jaycen, making him close his eyes, and drift off to sleep again.
“Wish I could sleep as much as him. I think I’ve barely slept the past couple weeks.” Tyler admitted, letting his lips travel to Georgia’s neck. They ghosted over the skin, sending a shiver down her spine, bringing forth a smirk.
“Wait until he’s older. We won’t get any sleep. We’ll be zombies.” She joked, letting her eyes flutter closed for a moment as she enjoyed the protective presence Tyler offered. She felt so safe in his arms. She would even go so far as to say, her anxiety had decreased by at least half. She had a new brand of anxiety, but it was over caring for Jaycen, not the actual birth. That had scared the shit out of her, but as she’d told Tyler, the pain and stress had been well worth it now that they had their first child.
“And...now that you’ve done this once...” Tyler began but Georgia stopped him, her words gentle and reassuring to him.
“Yes, Tyler, I do want another kid. And I can’t wait to see Jaycen grow up. I think he’s gonna be a lot like you.” She yawned then and Tyler chuckled.
“Why do you say that?” Just cause he looks like me, don’t mean he’s gonna be like me. He might be like you and if that’s the case, we’re in for a wild ride. He’ll be a daredevil.” Tyler said. Georgia’s brows furrowed and she turned in his arms, sandwiching Jaycen gently between them. Tyler leaned down to kiss Georgia and then he pressed a light kiss to Jaycen’s forehead.
“He’s quiet. I know they said you can’t tell much about them now, but I think he’s going to be smart. He just stares and you can tell he’s trying to figure things out.” Georgia explained and Tyler nodded in agreement.
“Maybe he’s admiring his loving mama, just like his daddy does.” Tyler said, bringing a hand up to caress her cheek, She pressed into his hand and glanced up into sage green. There was warmth there, and a reverence that Georgia would never quite get over. Tyler worshipped the ground she walked on, and there were times she still couldn’t believe that, after all she’d put him through.
“He’s asleep. We should go put him in his crib.” Georgia said softly, meeting Tyler’s gaze. He agreed and he motioned for her to hand him Jaycen. She did and he took the boy up the stairs, Georgia following closely behind as they snuck up to the nursery to put him down for another nap.
It had warmed up significantly over the next week or so, giving Tyler and Georgia the opportunity they were hoping for. They dressed Jaycen in warm clothes, courtesy of their friends and family, and brought him out to the barn to see the horses. As they made their way down the aisle, Georgia said the name of each horse and pointed. Tyler followed closely behind, watching the little boy’s face light up as each horse stuck their nose out toward him. Georgia was careful, not letting them nibble or get too close, just enough to sniff. They walked out the back of the barn to the pen where Ducati was standing.
As soon as the mustang saw the bundle in Georgia’s arms, he walked toward the three humans and nickered softly. He stuck his nose through the bars of the panel fencing and Georgia let him sniff the little boy. Ducati whinnied quietly and his ears shot forward. There was a softness in the mustang’s eyes that Tyler recognized.
“He knows that’s gonna be his rider one day.” Tyler said, rubbing his hands up and down Georgia’s arms.
🌪️🛻🛩️⚓
Sam and Jake had been getting a crash course in raising a small human. Because they were able to, they did one feeding a day for Jaycen for that first week, hoping to give Tyler and Georgia some reprieve. Usually in the middle of the day, so that if Tyler had to run to the store he could, and Georgia could sneak out and check on the horses. Ophelia and Lennon had come to help, offering to do whatever Dustin couldn't.
Tyler had to run to the grain store, leaving Georgia home with Jaycen. Jake elected to go with him, and Sam stayed with Georgia just in case she needed any help. They hopped in Georgia’s truck, as it had the open bed and headed off.
“This is a pretty nice truck. This is hers?” Jake asked as they headed out the driveway.
“Yeah, she’s had this since she started rodeoin’. It got trashed last year durin’ chasin’ season. I’ve been workin’ on fixin’ it for the entirety of her pregnancy. Finally got it fixed. No frame issues thank god, but I don’t know that I trust it to tow a trailer anymore after that.” Tyler explained.
“How’d it get trashed?”
“Tornado rolled it. Gee said they were goin’ pretty fast too. She got a concussion from that. Her two friends were in it and they were okay just scared the shit outta them.”
“That sucks. She still want this truck?” Jake asked. Tyler raised a brow.
“Why, you wanna buy it?”
“I don’t know. I kinda like it. It’s not a girly truck. It’s nice.” Jake mused. Tyler smirked at him as they pulled down the main street in Stillwater, heading through town to the store.
‘You’re goin’ home soon aren’t ya? Tyler asked. Jake nodded.
“I do need to get back to work. They wanna do a physical and mental eval. Then they need to see if I can hack it up in a jet again. It’s not the flying I’m worried about at all. That comes second nature to me. It’s the leavin’.”
“You got the dogs though. She’ll be fine.”
“How’d you know Georgia was pregnant?” Jake asked, rolling down the window as Tyler slowed up and turned off the main strip.
“She was real sick one mornin’. Peed on a stick. It was positive, so we made an appointment with Doc Halstead and went through all the shit there. I went to every appointment too, even if I was gonna be chasin’. Rushed home for one cause I didn’t wanna miss seein’ his little heart beat.” Damn, Jake...I really love that kid already.” Tyler turned into the feed store lot and parked in the front. The nice thing about their local store was that they could order by phone or online and they got a notification when it was ready to be picked up so all they had to do was go in and give their phone number. Georgia ordered enough every week for a half a pallet, so they would use the forklift and place it in the back. When Tyler got it home, he used the forks they had for the tractor and lifted it off and placed it in the front of the barn so the only lifting that had to be ever was to put the bags in the grain room.
“Sam and I have...yuh know...like a lot...and she’s not showing any signs.” Jake said as he was about to get out but Tyler stopped him. One of the employees had seen Tyler and waved him over to the loading dock. They knew by now that he had an order, he barely had to get out of the truck.
“Doc said all women are different and even all pregnancies are different. She said she had one woman who was sick the entire pregnancy, had to be bed ridden for the last trimester and then her next one she kept working and felt fine up until a week before her due date. Said it depends on the environment and how you take care of yourself. I’m a lot healthier than I used to be. Doc said it’s not just the women. Has to do with the guy too.” Tyler explained as he backed the truck to the dock. The employee pulled the tailgate down.
“Sam and are are pretty good about eating healthy and what not. We exercise, stay fit.” Jake said, as he watched the employee place the half pallet of grain and supplements in the bed carefully.
“So maybe her body is just like ‘everything’s fine’ right now. When you get home if you’re really that worried, have her go to a doctor. You should talk to her about it though.” Tyler said as the employee waved to him and closed the tailgate.
“I know, I know. We have...sort of. She’s scared to have kids.” Jake said as Tyler drove out and headed back toward home.
“Why?” He asked, glancing at Jake.
“I don’t know. I don’t know if it’s just the fact that she would be carrying around another human for nine months or if it’s because I almost died on that last deployment...”
“I venture t’guess it’s the latter. She doesn’t wanna have a kid, have all the dogs, and then get a letter from the Navy sayin’ hey your husband died flyin’ a jet, sorry. She’s scared to lose you.”
“I get it, but..she knew what she was getting herself into. Her father was an aviator too.”
“But how long was her father an aviator and deployed on missions before she grew up and understood what she could lose? And you said her father just passed not too long ago. I’m sure that weighs heavy on her mind.”
“Yeah she had lost someone else too before that.”
“Well so there’s exactly why she’s so scared. And I’ll bet she doesn’t want that kid growing up without a dad, Jake. I know you’re gonna be a great dad, but you do have to be a little sensitive to her feelings too. Don’t be so hard on yourself either. And damn it, just talk to her, like we’re talkin’ right now. Put everythin’ out there.”
“You always give the best advice.” Jake said, staring at his brother.
“You do too when I need it. That’s what brothers are for though. To give each other advice.” Tyler said and then he turned up the radio slightly, letting the music take over and fill the comfortable silence that had entered the truck. Jake’s thought traveled back to California then as he stared out the window and across the fields of wheat and corn. He had come to wonder if California was really the place for him and if he wanted to have a family out there, or if he wanted to come back home and try to raise a family here. He wanted to be close to Tyler. He’d always been his safety blanket. His balm when things got rough, so why wouldn’t he want to be closer to him and his parents.
But he had to think about Sam too. California was all she knew, except for going to Harvard for college, but even then she had gone home as much as she could. It was a discussion that they needed to have and Jake just didn’t know how to start it or where to start with it. He’d been putting it off for so long it felt like a monster feat to try to bring it up but he knew he needed to do it. Maybe talking all of it out before they went back to California would be the best thing, so that they could manage expectations of each other when they got back and really evaluate whether or not this was what they wanted, now that they’d gotten a taste of this life.
When they arrived back at the ranch, Tyler started up the tractor and swapped the bucket fo the forks so that he could move the pallet. Jake directed him and then once he’d placed it down, Jake began moving bags into the grain room. Tyler left the tractor running.
“You mind putting the grain in the bins? I just wanna go drag the arena. It’s my five minutes of peace and quiet to myself.” Tyler said and Jake nodded. He watched as Tyler walked up to the house quickly, meeting Georgia on the porch. She had Jaycen in her arms and the dogs all came piling out of the front door. Grits, the red heeler, peed on the grass by the first step and then ran, leapt up into the cab of the tractor and sat, waiting for his human. Jake observed for a few more minutes, watching his brother kiss his wife on the lips and kiss his newborn son, all bundled in clothes and a blanket, on the forehead. All Jake could think of then was that he did in fact, want this life. He wanted to come home to Sam and a baby. He wanted everything that Tyler was sharing with him.
He sighed as he saw Tyler step down from the porch and Georgia walked back inside, already looking like a pro with Jaycen in one arm and the door held open for Waffles, the only one of the dogs that wanted to come back in. The little blue dog ran inside and Jake watched Tyler hop into the tractor cab, Grits taking up his place on his human’s lap, and heading off to drag the ring. Jake continued moving the bags of grain and dumping them into their respective barrels. He was almost done when he heard light footsteps coming into the barn.
“Hey, handsome.” It was Samantha. Jake, as he crumpled up the last bag and put it in the recycling bin, smiled wide. He stepped over to her, dusting his hands off and then wrapping them around her waist.
“Hey, gorgeous.” He said softly, pressing his lips to hers. They stayed in that moment, lips just touching, no tongues, no passionate forcefulness, just love between them. Jake was the one who broke the kiss and then his green eyes stared into the warm chocolate brown of Sam’s.
“Can we talk about some things before we go home?” He asked, and she nodded, allowing him to guide her out to the back of the barn so that they could speak in peace and private. They leaned against Ducati’s panels, the horse walking over immediately to say hi. Jake reached through the bars and placed his hand on the gelding’s forehead and scratched softly.
“What do you want to talk about, Jake?” She asked, reaching for one of his hands. He glanced down and then back up at her, eyes full of concern. Sam clocked it immediately and she drew him in closer. “What's got you worried?”
“I’m just wondering...if you feel okay? Feel any different?” He asked and she tilted her head.
“No? Did I do something that has you asking that?”
“No, no, I just...I...we’ve...fuck...we’ve had sex...a lot...without...” Jake stuttered, trying to figure out how to start. Sam took in a sharp breath.
“I don’t feel any different, no. I...actually called a doctor, back home. I was kind of thinking I might be pregnant at this point too but... I just haven’t gotten around to taking a test and...I’m worried that there’s something wrong...”
“Maybe it’s just bad timing? Maybe it’s me? I know they said the meds I was on when I came home, the depression shit...they could affect stuff like that. Either way...maybe when they do my physical eval I can have them run some tests there too.”
“I think that sounds like a great idea...and Jake I know this is hard. Having to leave. I know you want to stay longer.” Sam moved in to put her hands on his chest and she saw his eyes grow misty. His brows furrowed and he touched his forehead to hers then.
“And I know California is your home.” He whispered.
“It is...it’s yours too. But...Jake...we have many more years ahead of us...and we can decide, together, where we want to live.” Sam said softly, running her fingers up and down his chest.
“Do we? Have many more years?” Jake asked, tone flat.
“What?” She drew back, her stare hardening.
“Do you want this Sam? Do you want me? With everything that comes with me being in the Navy? With the possibility that what happened last time, could happen again? Or that the next time, I don’t come home? Are you really okay with that?” He asked. He felt warm breath on his hand. Ducati was standing, quietly closing his eyes to the sound of them talking. Sam took a few moments, petting the gelding’s neck and thinking over what she wanted to say to Jake.
“No Jake...to be honest the thought of losing you absolutely scares me to death, but...I love you so much that I want to give it a try. I want this. And everything that comes with it. Because I’m realizing that I really don’t wanna ever be without you...and I know...I know you’re going to go back on deployments and I know you’re going to be gone at times, but I know you’re always going to do everything you can to come back to me. To us.” She said and Jake pulled her in close, kissing the top of her head.
“I just worry...about not being there for any kids we have. I don’t want to miss things...I don’t want...” Jake’s speech drifted off and his eyes glazed over. Sam knew he was thinking of his father, Randall, not Kenny. Jake didn’t want his kids to miss him.
“Jake...I’m more resilient than you give me credit for sometimes. I’d be okay...and they’d be okay. And imagine how excited they’d be to have you home...”
🌪️🛻🛩️⚓
As always, Tyler and Jake took an hour, and set off in the truck. They always did this when Jake had to leave, though it wouldn’t be for another month or so, but Tyler needed the time alone with his brother. They were at a very different place and time in both of their lives, but the same sentiment. Tyler turned up the radio and even though it was chilly, rolled the windows down. The first song that came on was one that they both sung softly, but the words hung heavy in the air between them, making them both tear up.
“I’ve been thinkin’ back, summers in the woods, didn’t keep time, cause we didn’t know we should, snuck a little whiskey on the back porch, and now I’m needin’ more, so on a saturday don’t call me if you miss, I’m on a southbound train, just take me back to...skippin’ town and skippin’ classes, time passed slow, like ole molasses, the hardest part of movin’ out was movin’ on. And city lights are dim compared to southern skies and open air. The hardest part of lettin’ go was lettin’ on that I’m goin’ goin’ gone.”
They stayed quiet as the song finished, the next one filtering through the speakers, on a slightly happier note.
“I love a first cast when the water's glass and the line starts to run. Or that first sip of a cold beer when the workin’ weeks done. I love the twilight in the mornin’ fore the day wakes up, or the windows down on the first ride in a paid-up truck. And I love a slow down in a beach town with an ocean view, and I love a first fall Saturday trip down to Baton Rouge. And I love a six-string with the stars out and the campfire glow, but girl that don’t even come close ...” Both brothers hummed but they sang the chorus, each having someone in mind. Someone special.
“To the way that it feels when you lean in and kiss me, the way that you dance when you get kinda tipsy, I’m wrapped round your finger like this ring I’m wearing, that look in your eye, girl, when you catch me starin’, and I don’t even know what it is but now that I’ve found, I can’t imagine me livin’ without this back forty view on our piece of ground, watching you watch the sun goin’ down, that’s what my world spins around .” Tyler glanced over at Jake, his lips turning up. Jake’s all knowing smile met his brother’s.
“That little blond barrel racer...” Jake said, tilting his head in approval.
“That little brunette that you hadta have...” Tyler said, shook his head and reached over to pat his brother’s arm.
#glen powell#jake hangman seresin#jake seresin#tyler owens#jake seresin x oc#tyler owens x oc#twisters fanfic#twisters 2024#top gun fanfiction#top gun maverick#top gun hangman#Spotify
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First, I have to acknowledge the absolute perfection 🤌 and swoon-worthiness 🤩 of the previous. ✨️👑✨️. I fear my responses can only pale in comparison, but who am I to refuse the tag of my king 💠🎇👑?
Dash Game
• Do you make your bed? Um. Occasionally? That probably tells you everything you need to know about the general state of my mind. 🛏🫠
• Favorite number? I don't know that it's my favorite, but I like to think of 27 as being imbued with some sort of mystical properties 🧙♀️because it is 3 to the power of 3.
• Job? Medical admin🥼🗂, technically C-suite adjacent if I want to get fancy (but I am about as fancy as a hobbit who loves elves can be). It's as thrilling as it sounds. Not complaining: in my longest previously held position I was the assistant ringleader 🤹♀️ to a circus with some very well-behaved monkeys 🙈🙉🙊 but also some completely out-of-control ones 🐒🐒🐒 a hung over dancing bear 🐻, an intemperate elephant 🐘, a high-strung donkey 🫏, cranky spectators 😡, and a tent 🎪 that was always catching on fire🔥. (Please note that my list of traditional "circus animals" is for extended metaphorical purposes only, as I do not condone the exploitation of animals in this way.)
• If you could go back to school, would you? If I had the financial, temporal, and mental resources, yes. 👩🎓
• Can you parallel park? Technically. In an emergency. And probably badly. 🚙🚨
• Do you think aliens are real? Given the vast complexity of the universe 🌌, I can't imagine that Earth 🌍 is the only spot that has managed to evolve what we understand to be "intelligent life." As to what that might actually look like, I have no idea.🤔
• Can you drive a manual car? Sadly, never got the chance to learn.
• What’s your guilty pleasure? No comment, especially within the metaphorical earshot of present company. 👑💙😇
• Tattoos? Only if the mark left behind when I managed to stab myself with a pencil ✏️when I was 10 counts. I wouldn't mind getting one, or many, one day. Some years back I decided I wanted to get a tattoo of Vingilótë ⛵️🪽🕊 on my shoulder, but that is probably too elaborate to be realistic.
• Do you like puzzles? Yes, but only if they are in that sweet spot where they are a challenge (relative to my skill level) without being impossible (same). 🧩🎯
• Any phobias? I have some low key emetophobia (don't look it up) in myself rather than others. Also creepy clowns 🤡 and dolls.
• Favorite childhood sport? Reading 📖. Constructing fantasy worlds with my best friend 🐲🧚♀️🧚. More reading📚. Writing 📝 Oh you mean, physical sports? I was tolerable at judo 🥋 and bad at softball ⚾️.
• Do you talk to yourself? In full on conversations.🧎♀️➡️🧎♀️
Please forgive me, because I always lose track of who has been tagged, but if you have not already partcipated and wish to play: @valar-did-me-wrong, @small-carbon-lifeform, @inkdusth, @galstelperion, @daughterofthesunlands, @self-destructinganimal, @xximmortalkissxx and anyone I may have forgotten or who otherwise wishes to play.
DASH GAME
(about Pirate)
Do you make your bed? Sort of? I don't want the cats getting fur all over the duvet as the husband has a slight allergy so I have to tidy it up and have a blanket over it.
Favourite number? Like Luke mine's also probably 13. Or 8.
Job? Typist and medical PA, both public and private sectors.
If you could go back to school, would you? In the sense of being a kid again, nope. If there's something I ever want to study in the future, I'd consider it but it'd likely only be courses that don't involve exams. Exams are too stressful.
Can you parallel park? I can parallel park my arse? (No)
Do you think aliens are real? Yes, but any we can actually reach are unlikely to be like the ones in films. Maybe in another life and if we survive getting off this planet then contact will be possible.
Can you drive a manual car? The only kind of car I can drive involves me playing games on computers.
What's your guilty pleasure? Also like Luke I love to hyperfixate on a song and listen to it for hours on repeat. I swear I had something else for this the last time I wanted to fill this out. Overindulging on video games. Dressing up as Jack Sparrow more times than necessary.
Tattoos? One on my right shoulder that says 'XI', which is one of the muses I brought to this blog and means a lot to me. One on my left shoulder that is a Lokified Jera rune taken from the Kibblesmith Loki comics.
Do you like puzzles? Yes, but only certain kinds. I'm terrible at maths. I like ones I can figure out with not too much trouble so that I feel clever and not rubbish XD or ones I can use a walkthrough for if I've taken too long to figure it out. I do love puzzle games.
Any phobias? Wasps. Somewhat agoraphobic/claustrophobic as I get panic attacks if I think I can't breathe even when there is oxygen. I know that isn't agoraphobia, but it happens more in crowded open spaces with a lot of noise than properly closed ones, though I do have to feel trapped. It got worse since Covid. I have texture phobias too and something else I won't reveal openly in case of trolls.
Favourite childhood sport? Haha what. I mean I guess I occasionally enjoyed badminton and for a while I did like netball. I am not a sport person.
Do you talk to yourself? All. The. Time. I'm the only one who needs to put up with this amount of incessant babble ok? I'm really sorry to the people who game with me who hear me yell or make comment on what's going on, because it's ingrained in me now.
Stole it from: @therebetterbepie
Tagging: (no pressure!) @compassofsouls @small-carbon-lifeform @celestialmantdonna @antvnger @divinityrisen and anyone else who wants to do it if you haven't done it already!
#ask game#emoji use inspired by previous poster#of course their use is tasteful and mine is completely over the top#because i am completely normal about things
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Recently I've sometimes been getting notification popups but not have the actual interactions show up in the overview, idk if I'm shadowbanned maybe, or the other person is? There are still others that I can see, from various people, but like a couple days ago I got like 20 notifications in a short time (and like anything over 10 already feels kinda like a lot to me tbh) but they don't show up when I go to the overview, there was just - nothing. If it was all from the same person it's probably something on their end, or the website is just a bit broken
#I hope maybe they see this in case they sent a comment or an ask and are wondering why I'm not responding or something#I'm sorry I simply can't see you ._.#also I'm just curious lol#I don't give much on the amount of interactions but I still find it interesting what stuff people interact with#or reading their tags and comments if they left some#it also can bring up memories if they dig up something that I posted like 3 years ago and already forgot about😅#selnia talks
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I still haven’t been able to pick up a copy of the new PPG comic but you know what? I saw this panel online from it and…
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/0f44b043877aabee750b4de833ead342/74285b30007eacf8-70/s540x810/bdb0b46dc8dec2f79cca9880644fce443e506c9b.jpg)
…if this is like a Super Zeroes-esque comic where the girls are envisioning alternate versions of themselves with different destinies and if Blossom wants to be a detective GOD! BLESS! whoever wrote this ‘cause it’s perfect.
Bubbles as a bunny and Buttercup as a wrestler are also both perfect but that goes without saying. 🙏
#is Miss Bellum coming to like… find out who kidnapped the mayor???#he got lost AGAIN after she accidentally left the baby gate unlocked UGH#it’s out of context so maybe if I read the comment I’ll get more context but if it’s the context I think it is#finally some good Blossom characterization BECAUSE IT IS FULLY ACCURATE 🥹🥹🥹🥹#seriously I’m legit happy for the first time in…… a while#watch I’ll read the comic and then cry tears of sadness lmao I MEAN I DON’T WANT TO but what if#I swear I’ve written about my love of blossom’s love of detective work on here too……… curious…….. 👀#also I didn’t meant comment I meant *comic I can’t edit tags easily on mobile I AM SORRY I CAN WRITE I SWEAR
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![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/fe7dee1f362b4d00b0a128e0782ed2f3/adbb1ecccb78073d-cc/s540x810/66e8fdc89d309518dcbd9b37a16957cc633dc221.jpg)
Spontaneous NEO Joshua sketches
#twewy#ntwewy#yoshiya joshua kiryu#my art#going to be sappy in the tags no one will read#a big thank you to everyone who supports me#some days I think I won't draw and then you all inspire me#so to everyone who's left tags / comments / likes / reblogs#it means a lot to me#thank you very much
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You know, for a show with so many female characters that so many of us love given how they all get time in the spotlight one way or another and they fill that time up rather wonderfully since they are deeper and more developed than what we're used to seeing in general media, it is peculiar (to say the least) to see so few "alternative" ships to the main one.
I'm not saying the canon ship doesn't deserve its attention -- I'm wondering instead why the canon ship and it alone seem to guide the WN fans who just so happen to enjoy writing/reading fic or fanart or whatever.
You'd think all these cool women would inspire more ships or combinations thereof, but those of us who aren't invested in avatrice just... Float along, around one another, ignored (and, yes, mostly undisturbed too; being unpopular does have its advantages and that includes a lot less weirdos leaving you strange or awkward messages -- it does not, however, shield us from people flooding our goddamn tags on AO3 with fic that has nothing to do with our little ships and I do wish such negligence of the pairing itself meant we didn't have to deal with this spam...)
I am also not saying that fandom activity should be based solely on shipping (and recently someone on Reddit was rather confused by the fact that a lot of it is, which is quite an interesting topic to discuss in itself -- after all, there is more to fan creativity than shippy fic... Or there used to be), merely that, here, it appears that a canon relationship can outshine interest in the other, non-canon ones. It's already there and it was doubtless well-done by the show, so it's natural that it should claim people's attention, sure. It's just that being canon was never the parameter for whether people were interested in these or those two (or more) characters maybe being involved and trying to explore what that could mean through fanwork.
There has always been a complaint haunting fandom spaces concerning the minuscule amounts of f/f fic, art, discussion, w/e based on how few (interesting or sympathetic or relatable) female characters there are in media at large. So what I'm curious about is why fan creations made around WN -- a show that finally gives us a whole cast of female characters that are what we have been craving for decades -- don't also reflect its diversity.
There are alternative ships (I'm here, all happy in my tiny Doctor Superion bubble, and I know there are Camila/Lilith, Ava/Lilith, Mary/Shannon, Mary/Lilith shippers out there, so a warm hello to you if you're reading this), but go on AO3 and compare the numbers of things tagged with these proper pairings to the grand total of WN stories. Better (or worse) still, do so with the "otp: true" trick or simply by excluding avatrice from the search to see how many are left.
It's... A considerable difference. And a mystery, at least to me.
#tagging this as#warrior nun#simply because i'd like to talk about this and maybe some of you have thoughts or theories about it#i just ask you engage in good faith if you do. i'm not pointing fingers at avatrice people i think they're fine and dandy#i'm just -- to reiterate -- surprised at how little interest there is in other ships when the potential is all there#(is it because they're nuns? that never stopped avatrice so why should it stop others...)#(besides lilith is hardly still a nun after s2. bea left. mary didn't really take vows did she? you really thought i was a nun she says...)#meta fandom talk i guess#then again about the nun thing... i have noticed a lot of people just go for aus. i can't recall ever being in a fandom with SO many aus#is the religious aspect an issue by any chance? i also recall someone commenting on how little a part religion played in these aus#curious. very curious.#i imagine some of you are wondering why i care when i don't even read fic but --#-- to quote jillian salvius herself i am a curious person and well you are a curiosity lol
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i just realized i never shared this silly here yet !! apologies for my unforgiveable crime </3
#BATDR#BENDY#i keep forgetting#but should i start talking in the tags in some of my posts like rn#i miss doing those honestly#its the silliest thing#kind of like a secret between u and me ykyk#i always enjoy reading the tags if theres any comments left behind by them lol
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Someone just gave me a shit sandwich comment on a fic and it’s like… don’t do this. Don’t do this to me and don’t do it to other people.
#now I’m going to be thinking about this comment forever—thanks person!#no I didn’t get the character ‘wrong’… I just wrote them in the way I wanted oh my god#I’m just going to keep adding tags to this until I feel better about it#I’m looking online at the definition of shit sandwich and I wish there was a more accurate way to describe this kind of comment#it’s the— I love this but you are wrong but this other part was nice#like bro I’m not wrong????? but now I’m going to second guess myself???#even though there’s no such thing as being wrong about a fictional character that you are writing a fanwork about#because you are allowed to interpret that character however you want#sorry friends I should probably delete this#it’s just one comment#except actually it’s not. the person has been reading my fic all day and commenting on chapters as they go#and some of the other comments have been like ‘you should change this thing actually because it makes more sense the way I say it does#like LORD how do I respond nicely to this person?#I’m dreading the couple chapters they have left
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#sometimes kid-focused posts cross my dash#and occasionally I read the comments and tags#🤣🤣🤣#some of these options are so cute!!#utterly misguided but v sweet#I love that you think I can magically anticipate every one of my child’s needs in public and meet them immediately#I thought that too#until I had kids 😂😂#my son had a meltdown#full on screaming#because he did not want his left hand to be his left hand
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damn it feels so good to actually have friends who i feel safe around. like to have friends who im not worried that if they find out that i like "cringe" things they wont judge me. woah!!
@angry-avaocardo @silly1xxx @gollyimsosoevil
#appreciation post for my besties✨✨#also the tags got reallylong and rambly just me complainign about the ex friend and a quick update so feell free not to read them if you#dont wanna#theres nothing of substance in there lol#ugh god my old friend the one i made the really long post about asking for advice#i probably mentioned this but i never felt safe to talk about things i like with them#oh god i would never be able to show them defrag#and i probably wouldnt even be willing to ramble about like. the arg or smth to them#id be too worried of them making fun of me#but also they had a way of making it so i hung out with them the most even tho i didnt want to#“me and friend are going to the canteen you two wanna come?”#“[with none of my input] no me and Charlie are staying here”#the only person i felt safe talking about my interests to was a friend that i made when trying to move away frrom the toxic one#a friend who they would consistently ask if i was replacing them with and was so fucking jealous of him#in fact that friend is gollyimsoevil yea that guy#hes great he likes gay addison shit so yk bestie#also they were so good at guilt tripping that now i use their guilt tripping tactics on myself to try and get myself to do things lol#and they would make fun of me so often but GOD FORBID I MAKE FUN OF THEM#they were making fun of me to another person a few /years/ ago so i made some snarky comment about them#because i was really upset by them making fun of me#and they brought it up to me like 2 months ago before we cut them off#like dude you mock and make fun of everything i do so much that ive just stopped talking and completely zoned out whenever im around you#and youre holding some snarky remark that i made when we were like 11 /because you were making fun of me/#UGH#oh ye update on that if anyone cares it went fine they seem to have moved on and are just hanging out with different people now#they havent made any attempt to contact any of us but also havent cut us off#i havent cut them off either ive just left it#i catch them giving me and the other two friends who used to be friends with them dirty looks#but i kinda just ignore it#i have like 5 friends my age who are much much much nicer than them
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Reminding myself that I resolved not to delete any fics that have a bookmark on them😭
#there's this one frostmaster fic that must be TERRIBLE cos it fails on any metric but for some reason people bookmarked it#though the visible ones seem to be mostly people who bookmark literally everything they read so...#it has one (1) comment and like a thousand hits :|#i think it's not a bad fic! but apparently i am wrong about that :'(#BUT if there's one person out there who silently loves it i don't want to take it from them#i have invented a silent yet adoring audience in my head for fics that “don't do numbers”. between this and the “reason other than quality”#that i preemptively invent for any fic to flop i am left perhaps overly confident in my skillz but also a bit less worried about stats.#btw 'fair alfrida' didn't go too well either but i had fun writing it so fuck it i don't care (...much)#more positively: the frigga gen did v well and the sylki-on-sakaar one i fretted about for months does not actually repel readers!#and this year i feel like i'm doing fairly well despite posting a few quite niche fics :D#tbh some of my own fics are things i probably wouldn't click on cos they wouldn't seem like my jam from the summary/tags#and i beat myself up less about only writing short oneshots now that i've posted a couple of longer works as well#the sylki arranged marriage fic is on-track to be my second-longest fic ever (the bar was low but shhhh)#...as you can see i still put too much importance on length of fic even though i prefer reading shorter works meself :|#ANYWAY STATS BACK OFF NOW I THINK
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