#or rather- fading

[ellaenchanting]

Hypnovember Day 8: Addicted

There was a study she had read in college.

(He might have read it too.)

There were 4 groups of rats. Each one would push a lever and get a food reward. Some rats would get rewarded every time they pushed. Some would get rewarded every other time or every three times. For the last group of rats, their reward was completely random- there was no predictable pattern to when a reward might happen.

Then the food stopped. The first group of rats- the ones who usually always got rewarded- were the first to stop pushing the lever and to go about their regular ratty business. Then the second group. Then the third.

The last group, though, never gave up on the possibility of food. They would anxiously push their little levers over and over, fruitlessly waiting on a reward that would never come again.

She had felt sorry for them. Poor, stupid rats. If only they had known the trap they were in- surely then they could find the will to pull themselves free.

How could she have known differently?

"Hi," she typed in her message to him. "I know you said you'd get in touch with me this week. FYI I'm around all day today if you want to talk!"

Hit send.

Paused.

Added a cute seal picture.

Tried no to wait by her computer for a reply.

He had been a dream answered at first. A famous, well regarded hypnotist was somehow interested in her- an anonymous internet fan. She had never expected a response when she had messaged him about his file but- not only had he thoughtfully answered her questions, he had asked her some back. Why was she interested in hypnosis? What got her started? What was she struggling with? What did she want to experience?

A few rounds of messaging back and forth had led to a call. And THAT call had led to her first actual experience being hypnotized-an incredible one. She felt deep and dreamy and oh so submissive. It had been everything she had hoped it would be- and more. She hadn't expected the praise, especially, to flow over her the way it did- how obedient she was, how pretty like this, what a natural subject- but she soaked it in like a flower soaking in sunshine.

It had felt meaningful.

Important.

After that, they were in constant contact. They sent stories back and forth. Fantasies. Dreams. He was the only one she had truly been able to open up to about her hypnofetish and her desires to be controlled. She wanted it so much- that freedom to let go and let herself be molded. Not only did he seem to understand- he encouraged it. "This is clearly who you are," he said. "Submission comes naturally to you- just like domination comes naturally to me. Why should we be ashamed?"

When he offered to make her HIS submissive, she had jumped at the chance. Of course, they would keep things casual, like he said. She knew he had other submissives he cared for and that things between them didn't need to be exclusive for them to be special. She also agreed that, as part of being His, she wouldn't interact with any other hypnotists besides him. But that was OK. She didn't know any other hypnotists. Plus, it was dangerous, he said, to give your mind to too many people- have too many people trying to make changes. Hypnotic suggestions and compulsions could conflict with each other, you see, and that could create all kinds of mental health issues. He didn't want that for her.

She was touched when he looked out for her like this.

And how could she want anyone else, anyway? Day after day they exchanged text messaged. Text trances. Video calls. He hypnotized her over and over- making her more and more his. There wasn't room for anyone else in her deeply programmed psyche. She could feel his thoughts and influence constantly in her head- changing and building her even while she slept. It was like she was a project they were both working on together.

It felt like being owned.

It felt like love.

Then just as surely as the flood started- it stopped.

At first, the lack of communication made sense. He was sick, he said, and couldn't respond easily to messages. He still texted her frequently though- maybe not for trance, exactly, but at least to let her know he was ok. He'd talk about what was going on his life and she'd tell him what was happening in hers. It felt intimate in a different way. She appreciated his thoughtfulness.

Then he was traveling.

Then he needed some alone time.

Of course she was understanding of all of this. What friend wouldn't want their friend to travel? To have time to recover? She would be selfish to demand otherwise- for the sake of a silly kink, no less. She sent messages of support and understanding throughout the day. When he mentioned bad mental health stuff, she offered to help him look up therapists in his area.

No need, he wrote back. I'm just going through some things.

And when he started releasing files again? She was overjoyed! Finally he was back to doing what he loved. Maybe that meant he was getting better?

She was relieved. Despite being a good understanding sub, she had really started to feel anxious without him. Part of their dynamic was that she craved to hear his voice, that she needed to have his conditioning in her head. She felt a bit distressed going without it for so long. His new files, at least, were giving her something to hold onto. They weren't personal to her and their dynamic, of course, but the suggestions and mantras in them gave her some of the hot submissive feelings she had grown to crave.

"Devoted, dominated, and dependent", she repeated with the girls in the recordings. "Devoted, dominated, and dependent".

Over and over.

It felt so good.

She messaged him every time she listened (and she listened quite frequently). She knew he liked begging, so she would beg him sweetly in her messages for a call. She took and sent videos of herself under his spell- eyes rolled back, repeating the mantras over and over. She knew he liked those.

Sometimes, he responded.

Sometimes they even had a video call.

When they did, it was great. She felt like his suggestions were going deeper and deeper into her mind- like she was giving him more and more of herself. Things she never thought she'd accomplish as a subject- amnesia, hallucinations, orgasm on demand- all of these things seemed within her reach. She couldn't wait to see what he could make her into.

"Thank you sir," she said at the end of one of their calls. "Thank you so much. I'm so happy that I have you."

"Good girl," he said, smirking. "What a good devoted, dominated, dependent slut you are for me."

She beamed at the praise.

"Sir," she finally braved to ask. "I know you've been busy lately. I know a lot of the time you just have energy for recordings. But- could you make a recording just for me? So I could listen to it when you're busy? It would really help me when we can't find time to talk."

His face turned serious. He seemed to be seriously contemplating her question, finding the perfect answer.

"No," he said finally. "I'm sorry, pet. It's not that I don't care. I just- don't want you to get addicted."

She understood, of course. He had always been thoughtful about her safety.

So it continued.

Occasionally she would see his interactions on social media with others. (Not that she hunted for those.) (Too much.)

For instance, he seemed quite drawn to a new girl named Hypnohunty lately. They publicly interacted all the time. She felt a pang of jealousy about this- strong jealousy, hot and sharp like a knife- but she also felt embarrassed by it. There really was no room for jealousy in their relationship. After all, she had knowingly agreed to be in a polyamorous relationship with him. And she didn't want to feel badly towards Hypnohunty, who was new and friendly and seemed sweet (whoever she was).

Improving her jealous personality had even been an consented-to part of her submissive conditioning. Her Sir frequently worked with her (when he worked with her) to help her feel more compersion towards his other submissive partners. After all, sharing was caring and there really weren't enough Doms to satisfy all the needy submissive girls out there. There was no place for her kind of insecurity in healthy kink.

She'd just have to be better at getting his attention.

Sometimes one of her messages would break through. He'd send her a smiley or a fire emoji when she described a hot fantasy. They'd go a few weeks in a row without him canceling their weekly call. They'd even do hypnosis sometimes- when he was up for it.

Then, there would be periods of nothing.

Which is what seemed to be happening now.

She still had hope, though. He had said he would contact her this week, so she would give him every opportunity to reconnect. Even if it meant waiting by the computer. She'd give him that chance.

She was loyal, after all.

Like a good submissive should be.

Thanks to @daja-the-hypnokitten for the mantra help.

Tagging @mentat101posts @thekinkycocktailclub @jam-and-stuff

[divorcedfiddleford]

and you may say to yourself: "my god! what have i done?" and you may tell yourself: "this is not my beautiful wife!" and you may tell yourself: "this is not my beautiful house!" and you may ask yourself: "well, how did i get here?"

time isn't holding up, time isn't after us, time is a pony ride! (images described in alt text)

[wickedcriminal]

Last Unicorn quote stuck out to me so I gave it to Spider-Fox

(the only person willing to be your friend and he didn't show up until long after you already lost all trust in other people)

[beaulesbian]

Dragon Age: The Veilguard

[heymeowmao]

I'm willing to follow you for my whole life. ⭑☽ Fox Spirit Matchmaker: Red-Moon Pact ° E36

[mewguca]

Faded Memories

slivermoon pen doodle

[ganondoodle]

i am very much not normal about Shargon, Zaphira and Eadrya in particular but its so hard to get that across since they are very much only three of many OCs in a gigantic world and story i can never hope to truly bring to paper and it feels like my brain is trying to claw its way out of a prison and the bars are made of diamond

[thedisablednaturalist]

WHY DOES HOGLE ZOO KEEP WINNING. NOW I NEED TO GO TO UTAH

[virtues-end]

A bit nsft ahead!

I'm late to the thirsting over Shea party, but it's still spicy sunday so,,, are there going to be magical/not so magical strap-ons? To make 6' bottoms and afab monsters happy 🤝

Yes, you'll be able to choose from a variety of bottom (and top) options for your character during their first sexual foray. :^)

[fan-kingdoms]

god i wish we had gotten more of twelve with river song. he just meshes so well with her and since their time streams are finally (almost) synced up you don’t feel the imbalance of maturity/knowledge that you get in a lot of eleven’s time with her, and less general timeline “where are they right now what the fuck is happening” fuckery to sort through. just a husband and wife who have lived so much together and know it’s coming to an end very soon so they have to relish it (even if river doesn’t have the knowledge of her own death the way the doctor does, she knows it’s almost over because her diary is running out of pages). and i love watching this older, less theatrical, more rough-around-the-edges doctor with her because it develops their dynamic and the passage of time for the doctor so well. he's not eleven, trying to hide the pain and damage anymore. he doesn't spin off lies and deflections. he wears the hurt and is comfortable in it, and river is there to bring the joy and wonder out. they just have a more mature, beautiful relationship to me.

more thoughts and elaboration under the cut bc i care for your dash <3

twelve and river were such a delight to watch because (this is getting into hot take territory here sorry) once capaldi took over from matt smith, the show basically gave up on the whole “the doctor is very attractive and all the women want him” narrative that it pushed for eleven. of course it was there with ten but i think it got Egregious with eleven. moffat really wanted us to believe matt smith was the hottest man in the universe (and he’s not unattractive! i admit i thought he was attractive when i first watched doctor who years and years ago! the writing was just over the top with it!) twelve is not some young whimsical prettyboy anymore— he’s abrasive, blunt, and old. the show doesn’t treat him like he’s supposed to be attractive, which makes him and river’s relationship feel so real.

first off i want to point out that river is still very much attracted to the doctor in his new body which was so exciting for me because how often to we get to see romance and desire and (sexually) intimate relationships in people past the age of 35??? hardly ever! how often do we see a beautiful woman expressing desire for a man that’s not young or conventionally handsome NOT because she has ulterior motives or we’re supposed to believe he’s actually the sexiest man alive but because she simply loves him? how often do we see relationships where no matter how much change they go through, even when one of them has turned into an entirely different person (figuratively or literally), the love stays steady and unchanged? especially when these changes involve aging? there isn’t nearly enough. and seeing it is kind of healing for me, just a reminder that you can have love and intimacy and passion even when you’re not “young and beautiful” anymore

twelve and river’s relationship is just charged with so much shared experience and trust and i wish we had gotten to see more of it. in conclusion i want a special that recaps the 24 years on darillium thank you and goodbye

[wildflowercryptid]

art by catherine unger

losing it over the fact that fitz's room was originally gonna have a small shrine dedicated to penny in it, he was so freaking head over heels in love with her oh my god???? 😭😭😭

[enderon]

Chilchuck is one of the few examples of a character being shown as having a face full of freckles in his youth but not when older that I will accept because it is very logical that the more time he has spent in the dungeon and out of the uv rays of the sun, that his freckles would fade and become much less noticeable. Probably now that he's not gonna be working in the dungeon anymore, they'll probably come back.

[queen-scribbles]

.

[muttmedley]

man i miss my eyebrow piercing so much but that shit would not heal :/

[thebirdandhersong]

every time I start thinking negatively about physically aging I remind myself of the time I asked my mom if she would dye her hair like other Asian moms commonly do when their hair starts going grey/white and she just looked and me was like (I'm paraphrasing but this was the general feeling) No. I earned these. I'm keeping them

[anemoiawithatouchofobsession]

The memories we made here are fading

1992, MBC "Sons And Daughters" Ep 5, Korean drama

my first core edit lmao please be nice to me!