#or quarters or smth

[somer-writes]

I’m feeling festive, what do you think would be the best gift for each of the Links for their version of Christmas?

HMMM i had to do some thinking here:

Time: 101 Minecraft Jokes for Kids /j. I think Time would appreciate like a foot roller or smth. idk as a person in my mid-20s, foam rollers are a life saver

Warriors: fancy soap. like the handmade kind you get from some bird name Wanda at your local high school's craft show.

Twilight: a nice fishing lure even though he has plenty

Sky: some kind of collection keeper. like a penny passport

Wild: burn salve /j a novelty hot sauce sampler

Legend: a nice wallet (and/or wallet chain)

Hyrule: a case of red bull

Four: nice leather gloves of maybe a patterned headband

Wind: a cypher wheel and/or invisible ink pen

[bbbbbbbbatman]

I want a Timkon clone baby where tim realises he’s kind of batshit insane right now and not equipped to raise an infant, so he leaves the baby on the manor doorstep and disappears into thin air to do a martial arts eat pray love until he’s sane again because he doesn’t know what therapy is. And now Bruce is not only a first time grandpa but a first time infant caregiver and he’s been thrown into the deep end with an alien baby who instead of pissing on him when he’s being changed can shoot lasers at him, scream so loud it shakes the foundations and launch projectiles at people with TTK. He has to wear a full bomb proof batsuit to change the little guy and has ma Kent on speed dial

Bruce, calling Clark at 2:47 am: Clark, I need your help, it's an emergency

Clark, who has never heard Batman ask for help so directly, knows whatever's going on must be truly dire: What is it? What do you need? I can be there right away

Bruce, desparate: I need your mother's phone number

Clark, not sure what emergency could be solved by his mother in the middle of the night: ...My mother's...phone number?

*loud crash in the background, followed by crying*

Clark: Um...what exactly is going on?

Bruce, using the bat voice: Your. Mother's. Phone number. Now

[tragedy-of-commons]

bare (my soul)

kaeya x gn!reader | wc: ~550

tags/warnings: domestic fluff w kaeya's baggage, he's soggy

notes: i love him

“Kaeya, this is egregious.”

You gesture wildly at his barren walls and the desolate living space more fitting of a Favonius jail cell than a home (or so you complained moments earlier).

“Shatter my heart into pieces, why don’t you?” he sighs, then pokes your side in jest. You’re just too adorable not to play around with - even when you’re critiquing his admittedly subpar interior design skills. ��Weren’t you the one who insisted on moving in with me?”

“Only because I’m generous enough to consider proximity to your workplace,” you grumble, trying in vain to balance three boxes of your things in your arms at once. “If you had moved in with me, you’d probably have to run a marathon everyday to captain your non-existent cavalry.” Kaeya plucks the top box from your stack, revealing your unimpressed face to him. He grins. “Careful. If you keep saying things like that, I just might think you like me.”

You move to set your boxes down on the floor beside his boring, singular sofa. “I could wax poetic all day about my love for you–” “Oh, I’m dying to hear it, sweetheart–” “–But we seriously need to do something about your.. lifestyle.” You imitate a pompous noble, splaying the back of your hand across your forehead in distress.

Kaeya Alberich has heard many complaints about his lifestyle. Sometimes it’s in the form of Jean criticizing the way he handles certain intel, or the way he ostensibly slacks on the job. Other times, it’s in the form of rumors that he’s especially privy to; Captain Kaeya who loves his drink a little too much, or Captain Kaeya who uses underhanded methods to deal with threats to Mondstadt.

“We’re going furniture shopping at your earliest convenience!” you beam.

Yet you’re just referring to his apartment. What a miracle you are.

He sets the box he stole earlier down, humming thoughtfully. “Is it truly that horrid here?” (It is. He steps out every chance he gets, preferring a noisy tavern or your former place over whatever husk of a building Kaeya Alberich calls “home” these days.) “Yes. Minimalists shall never be forgiven.” “Well, I’d hate to be in your bad books.” Not once do you let him slip away during the unpacking process, practically shoving your trinkets and knickknacks into his hands for him to “make the call” about where they should live. You also sneak into his closet to try and scare him, but the jingle of one of his ornate belts catching on your person gives you away. He throws the doors open with a flourish. When you pout about him being no fun, he just slides in there with you, clicking his tongue and simpering about how you’re such a troublemaker. It’s quiet and you squint through the slits of the closet door at the surrounding bedroom. “Kaeya, I know what’s been missing!” you whisper-yell at him, head knocking against a hanging cape. 

You, he wants to say, It’s always been you. What comes out instead is your voice, effectively cutting him off. “An ugly vase!”

He can get behind that too. Maybe one day he’ll show his full hand, lay out every card, and wait for the swinging axe to take off his head - and maybe you’ll just pull him along to haggle with antique dealers in the name of ironic decoration. “You read my mind, sweetheart.”

[pokytoad]

Okay listen I see it all the time in hetalia fanfic where x nation is busy with the ambiguous task of "paperwork" assigned by their boss and I can only imagine its always a file that was in the bottom of some govt worker's desk containing a project that was abandoned years ago.

So now said nation is stressed out over something that is so unimportant that if they ask for data no one will know where it is and no thisisntsomethingthatalsohappenstomeatworkokay

[musicalmoritz]

LMAO there’s no way someone made a callout blog for TBHK, you people have way too much free time on your hands

[scootersscooter]

Tom and Jerry is actually so funny because sometimes Tom does actually start the fight or whatever but usually it's just Jerry and Spike going out of their way to make this cats day absolutely horrendous

[jacksprostate]

Let f Narrator be 6'0. Coward.

i am in favor of that as well

[sometimesmaybespoof]

FREAK OF THE WEEK AWARD GOES TO

*drum roll* 🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁

KRUGSTON‼️‼️‼️‼️

[warmgrey]

very deep urge to make a quilt like not my little half inch epp slow fiddly stuff im working on but dont have a solid plan for but like just churn out an actual blanket sized quilt really fastttt i want a project with a finish line in sight. so i guess i need to start looking for patterns that arent the overcomplicated stuff im normally drawn to

[kiralamouse]

SO CRANKY that I cannot find current advice for how to deal with COVID exposure. Pretty sure the WHO's infographic of "isolate for 14 days regardless" is dated. Pretty sure the CDC's utter lack of recommendation is a nod to corporate desires. What does the current actual science say about best practices to keep others safe?

[m-ayo-o]

when i thought my inbox was gonna be full of cute / sexy / smart msgs:(

[lifesver]

u ever watch a horror movie like hmmm [adds another potential trauma to the character]

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

no more hiding. scared? do it scared.

[sleepless-in-starbucks]

im going to finish this if it kills me (lucky jumbo fic six)

[seiwas]

LET’S HAVE A SLEEPOVER!!

ask/share whatever you’d like!! something that’s happened to you lately (good or bad!), an ask for tips and tricks (advice if you want!), your new favourite anything! (recommendations too), a fic that’s left you feeling all typa ways, and anything else really!

[aria0fgold]

Well that was... unsettling...