#the bit where he wakes up in the... freezer type thing full of body parts lol. just absolute panic slamming on the lid to get out | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

darter-blue · 4 years ago

Note

bec, darling, would you do body worship from your prompt list for lil ol' me? 🥺😂😈

Hey there dearest. Well, Ali. I must apologise because this turned from Kinktober to whumptober. And to start its a bit more body horror? But it will work it’s way to Body worship I promise.

So here is part one of your Fic - Resurrection

Warning for Bucky Barnes recovering type anxiety and hurt/comfort

Bucky wakes to the sound of water running. The smell of wet earth and dead leaves permeate his senses as they slowly open to his surroundings.

He aches. From head to toe, his body aches. He needs to get his eyes open to properly assess the damage. But it sure feels like he's been hit by a tank.

Or he'd fallen from some ridiculous height… had he fallen?

Bucky's last memory is of the cold… of… fear.

Of Steve.

Steve

His memories are fleeting but he has something, an image, caught in his hand, and he curls his fingers around it to hold on.

Steve was in the train, they both were. Zola's train. And Hydra… and that fucking Canon of a gun, some Hydra tech, blasting a hole in the side of the train… and Bucky…

He fell… didn't he?

His eyes snap open.

He looks down to find himself lying on a damp, soft surface, definitely not the snow he's expecting.

He blinks into the mid-morning brightness, shaded by the structure above him, a jetty. The sound he's hearing is a river, a rocky shore line at his feet, dead leaves beneath him, trees behind him.

And he's… he's definitely not in Austria. Glancing around him it's all lush vegetation and rocky shorelines but there's something oddly familiar about it all and yet so, so wrong.

And as he looks down to check the ground he's woken up on (is there a bed roll, did he collapse here?) he catches sight of his outfit and then, by extension, his left arm, his left hand, and his brain freezes.

He doesn’t understand what he’s looking at but what he sees is… well it’s not good. It’s… his hand is... he wants it to be encased in some kind of metal glove. He wants this to be some elaborate costume. Steve gets to have an elaborate costume, maybe Bucky has one too. Maybe this is just the boys’ idea of a joke.

It doesn’t feel like a joke. Bucky tries to wiggle his fingers but something is wrong. They wiggle, but it’s not�� it's like there’s a lag or… they’re broken, or he’s had some nerve damage maybe. And they’re not… they're stiff and twisted and they won’t do what he wants them to do and it feels stilted. It doesn’t feel right.

And he knows. Bucky knows. This is not a costume. This is his arm. Or…

This is what has been attached to him. In place of his arm. It’s not his… it's a machine.

And he’s waking up with it. In pain. In a strange place. With no idea how or why he’s here.

He needs to find Steve.

First things first, he needs to get up off the ground, but fuck. It hurts. His whole body feels like it’s been crushed by something. His chest aches, his head aches, his legs feel like garbage. His shoulder, his fucking shoulder is on fire. But focussing on any of this is not going to help him right now. He needs to get up. So he does.

He puts that pain in a box in the back of his mind. He uses a pillar of the jetty for support and he lifts himself up. And it's too much, for a second, it’s too much, and he vomits.

God, okay, he tells himself to just breathe. He breathes. And when he gets it together he walks. Carefully, gingerly, he walks to the trees and makes his way through them, using trunks to lean on as he passes. Letting the smell of the earth and the bark overpower the blood and the bile and whatever else it is on him he can smell.

He doesn’t know where his army uniform is. He doesn't know why he’s dressed in these strange pants with what look like black catchers pads on his knees. Covered in knives. No gun. There’s a belt and straps that don't attach to anything and no food. No rations. Nothing useful in any of the thousand pockets.

He tries not to speculate as he walks. It won’t do him any good to panic. He needs to figure out where he is. He needs to keep as quiet as possible (though he’s not doing a great job, with the limp and the dizziness) in case he comes upon Hydra or Nazis out here. Though… it all feels so wrong.

And he realises why as he gets closer to civilisation. It looks like farm land, but it’s not european farmland. The first building he sees is a business of some kind, the sign is in English and what looks like Native American, though the name doesn’t sound familiar (he notes with some positivity that both his vision and hearing seem to be as good as ever). It looks like some kind of national park. And no one is around. He doesn’t see or hear anyone. And necessity being what it is, Bucky moves closer.

Piscataway Park, the Accokeek foundation, appears to be a national park owned and operated by the US Department of the Interior. The US. The US of A. He’s in fucking America? He sits down for that information to sink in. And then gets back up to get closer to the visitor’s centre.

Which is empty. And pretty easy to break into with one of his handy knives, inside is food and water and so much… everything looks wrong. Bucky has seen some crazy shit fighting Hydra but this is all just… different and yet somehow the same as the America that he left behind for the war. Everything is so bright and clean and expensive. The prices on the food, on the signs over the freezer, it’s way too much. And the food itself, the packaging is so colourful. There’s so much writing… it’s all just… too much…

There’s a phone but it’s… there’s buttons where the dial should be. The handset is not even connected by a wire… and Bucky can’t use the damn thing anyway - he has no idea who to call… There’s no switch operator, just a dial tone.

He does find some less conspicuous clothes to wear. A t-shirt and some kind of hooded sweater to cover up his monstrosity.

He finds bathrooms, full of fancy looking equipment nailed into the walls, but there’s a sink, and paper towels, and a mirror, and fucking hell.

What happened to him?

His reflection is… jarring. His hair is long and rancid. He has a bruise under his eye and one on his temple. He has stubble. He didn’t have this much stubble when Steve pulled him out of Azzano. And he looks… bigger. His shoulders and his arms. Arm. His one arm.

But mostly he looks…haunted.

Well. he has just woken up in the wrong country, in what seems like the wrong year. With no idea what has happened to get him here. So that really makes sense.

He takes a good minute to remove the leather contraption he’s wearing as a jacket and stares at his chest in the mirror. It takes him a minute of staring to catch his breath because what he’s looking at, the reflection of his own body, it’s… horrific. It’s… a nightmare.

The skin around where the metal of the arm is fused to him is red and raw and painful. Covered in scar tissue. And it feels so heavy. It’s pulling at him, from the inside. Like someone has a hand inside him and is just twisting and yanking at chords of muscle, cutting into his bones.

His chest is bruised, but nothing seems damaged. It feels like broken ribs that have been healing for weeks. Though he knows he heals fast now. Faster than before the war for sure. Gabe was always questioning him about it. Never happy to just let it go.

And wow, okay, the muscle there is so much bigger that he remembers. Sort of like Steve’s, what he’d seen of it (tried not to look too hard, too much) the few times they’d been thrown into the same tent, or woken up from having rolled into each other camping out with the boys and washing what they could reach with freezing cold water from their canteens.

Bucky never mentioned it, because it made Steve uncomfortable, when people talked about him the way they did. About the size of him, the look of him, the strength of him. So Bucky let the changes fly over his head and he paid attention to the important stuff instead. Was Steve eating enough for his twice as big body now? Was he sleeping enough? He seemed plenty warm, Bucky could never quite get over all that nice new warmth (Bucky’s Steve, brooklyn Steve, had always been so cold, Bucky had had to force blood into that kid’s toes with his own hands too many times to count), but was he breathing good, did his back hurt, was he getting everything he needed?

Turned out Bucky didn’t need to worry about that stuff too much after Azzano (didn’t stop him, he just learned to hide it better).

Turns out Bucky has bigger things to worry about now.

He throws up most of what he eats. He keeps some of the water down, refills the bottle from the tap. He washes himself as best he can with what he has and dresses in the shirt and sweater from the visitors store, drags himself back out of the bathroom, and passes a stand of pamphlets on the way to the door.

And one of them catches his eye. It has dates on it. Tour dates, it says, for March. March of 2014.

2014.

Bucky has woken up in the future. Seventy years in the future.

He gets behind the store counter and finds more papers with the date on them. Everything he can find is dated up to december 2013. So maybe that’s when it is. Although it seems like the place has been closed for a while - so maybe it’s later than that.

Bucky sinks down to the floor and rests his head against the counter. He closes his eyes. Maybe if he sleeps again he can wake up back in 1945. And this is something that he and Stevie can laugh about. Maybe he can tell Stark about it.

Maybe he’ll find a flying car.

He can’t sleep anyhow. Everything hurts. He feels so sick. And hot. And cold.

After a while he gets up again and finds a map of where he is. Maryland. He’s not far from Washington actually, he could probably walk the distance in a few hours (maybe more than that - in his current state) and in the city he’d have access to more information. He could find out… anything. Anything that might help him figure out how he got here. Why he might be here, How he can get back.

So he has a plan. And that’s what his brain needs to push that pain away again. He can do this. He can stay on task. He can get information.

And that’s what he does. He sticks close to the road, but far enough away to avoid suspicion, or cars. (The cars! They don’t fly, but fuck are they fast, and big! And colourful!)

It takes him much longer than it should. But he gets there. He avoids the smaller towns because he won’t be able to blend in there, he avoids the smell of the food from the roadside restaurants which has him bringing up more bile. Sipping more water. He follows the not great map and makes the best decisions he can make in the moment to get himself across the bridge. And then another bridge. And then finally he’s in Washington.

It’s more than his senses can take. It’s huge. The buildings are huge. The roads are crazy. The people are everywhere.

It’s not that different from what he remembers, but just more somehow. He has the hood of his sweater up to cover his mess of hair, as much of his face as he can. And it's a very good thing. Because the first image that accosts him, from screens that cover a back wall of the first busy bar he walks into, screens with colour pictures, brilliant pictures, is his own haunted face.

It’s Bucky, this new terrifying version. And he’s reeking havoc. Shooting up a crowded street. He’s watching the pictures and it has him ready to vomit again, though there’s truly nothing left in his stomach, and he’s on his way to find a bathroom or a dumpster to do just that, when the image on the screen changes and it's Steve.

It’s Steve.

He looks dead.

He’s being lifted onto a stretcher, he’s being placed into an ambulance. Bucky uses his hearing, hones in on the newscasters voice to hear her say he’s being taken to a hospital. She doesn’t say which one.

So that leaves Bucky to figure out how many hospitals there are and just go to them all until he finds him.

And then the footage changes again and it’s Bucky again… and he’s… he’s shooting at Steve in the street.

Oh god, no. That’s not right. That’s not him. He wouldn’t do that. Maybe Hydra cloned him. Maybe the pictures aren’t real…

But he can feel in his gut that something is so very wrong

Oh god.

He needs to find Steve, he needs to get out of here, he needs to breathe. To breathe. People are starting to stare and he has to get out. He bursts onto the street and runs. To anywhere, he doesn’t know. His legs give out soon enough and he ducks behind a building to collapse.

He breathes. He keeps breathing until he starts to calm down. The nausea passes somewhat. The image of Steve lifted into an ambulance, being shot at in the street, is enough to shut the panic down. There is important work to be done, he has no time to fall apart. He needs to find Steve.

It takes him a few small thefts here and there, the minor break in of an unoccupied newsstand, to find a page of hospital listings and directions to follow.

It takes him even longer to find the right hospital.

But when he comes upon Medstar Georgetown University Hospital, the extra hustle and bustle, the armed men at the main entrance, he figures this has to be the place. Bucky pulls his hood low, (he’s had his metal hand kept securely slotted into one of his many pockets all night) and finds the easiest and least noticeable way to get inside through a huge concreted underground parking garage where the staff entrance is sitting completely empty of armed men.

Once inside he sticks to the crowded areas, watches the movements of the people looking the most military, they’re milling mostly around the third floor. At least they're looking after Steve better here than at the entrance. But Bucky will have to be more careful because of it. A hooded sweater and an indifferent attitude probably won't get him to Steve unnoticed.

He takes note of the people looking the most harried, the most like hospital staff. It's hard to tell the doctors from the nurses from the orderlies, they all seem to be wearing different versions of the same uniform. Almost like pyjamas. And this could work in Bucky’s favour. He takes his time to wander back down to the floor below and finds a tall silver trolley full of folded linens and clothing, he requisitions some of the pyjama like pants and a matching shirt and then from an unoccupied utility closet, finds a hair net to hide his mess of hair up into and blue gloves to pull over his hands. He squeezes his way to getting changed inside the closet, leaving the long sleeve t-shirt under the uniform to cover his metal arm and straightens it all out as best he can. He grabs a folder from a nearby desk, just like the ones he sees other hospital staff walking around with, no one is paying him any mind, and then makes his way back upstairs.

And from there it's a snipers game. At least an hour of watching and waiting, breathing through pain and nausea, until he finds his opportunity to get into Steve’s room. A man he recognises from the footage at the bar, footage of Bucky shooting at Steve, a man who had been wearing wings and flying, actually flying through the sky, exits the room and speaks to the guards before leaving for parts unknown.

And Bucky, who has passed the guards now a few times looking busy, passes by them now into Steve's room with a nod and one of his most casually trustworthy smiles (Bucky knows just how to use his face to get out of trouble - even as sallow and pale as he is looking right now). And he stops short at what he finds inside.

Bucky is all too aware of how much damage Steve can take in his new body. But this is…

This is terrifying.

His face is black and blue, bloody, swollen. Bucky might say unrecognisable, but it would be a lie. Bucky doesn't need to see Steve's face to recognise him. Bucky could recognise Steve by the sound of his breathing, by the smell of him. By the essence of his presence alone. Bucky would know Steve anywhere.

Did he do this?

Did Bucky do this to Steve?

His moment of indecision doesn't last. He's propelled forward by the movement of Steve's chest rising. By the flutter of his ridiculous lashes. He presses close to Steve, leaning over from his bedside, touching him gently with his flesh and blood hand, his own hand, to feel the warmth of him through the bedclothes, through the gloves.

A sigh of relief runs through Bucky at that familiar warmth under his fingertips.

And it's as Bucky stands by Steve's side, hand flat against his chest, face just inches from Steve’s, that those bright summer blue eyes Bucky knows so well blink slowly open. His head turns just a little to look up at Bucky and his cracked, bruised, bleeding lips spread into a smile.

'Steve?' Bucky whispers, 'Oh thank god, Stevie.'

But something in his tone hits wrong. Some kind of desperation maybe, because Steve’s smile is waning. A hardness is flooding his expression. The more conscious he becomes, the angrier he looks.

He pulls back from Bucky, just a fraction. An inch at most. But it's a chasm to Bucky, that distance. And Bucky pulls back too, instinctively, removing hishand from Steve’s chest.

Steve looks at him, at as much of Bucky as he can see from the position he's in, and then to the room around them. 'What is this?'

‘Steve?’

‘Who are you?’ His eyes are flicking around the room like he’s looking for clues. He’s panicking.

'It's me, Stevie, it's Bucky.' Bucky uses the calm voice he always needed to bring Steve back from an episode. ‘It’s me.’

'No.'

And that hurts. That cuts into Bucky like a blade. This is his Steve, he knows it. But maybe… maybe in the future Steve doesn't know him? Doesn't remember him?

He steps back a little and takes the net from his hair. 'I look different, I know,' he says, working to keep his breathing even, to keep the stress out of his voice, 'Something… something happened to me.'

And Steve is looking at him. Watching him. Bucky lifts his chin, tries to let Steve see him. Looks him in the eye and hopes, prays, that Steve can see him in there. 'Bucky?' Steve finally whispers, reaching towards Bucky with an aborted movement, 'Buck?' He says louder, slipping as he tries to sit himself up in bed.

‘It’s me, it is me,’ Bucky says, placing his hand on Steve’s shoulder, trying to discourage him from moving and dislodging the cacophony of tubes that seem to be connected to him and a million pieces of flashing, beeping equipment.

Steve looks down at the hand on his shoulder, the metal hand, not really Bucky’s, and Bucky reaches down to slip his real hand, his right hand, over Steve’s where it rests on the bed. ‘It’s really you?’

And Bucky wants to cry at the relief in Steve's tone. But it scares him too. 'Oh god, Stevie' - his breath hitches on Steve’s name - 'oh god, what happened to us?'

'Its okay, Bucky, it's okay,' Steve is shushing him, has reached his other hand over to cover Bucky’s where it covers Steve’s, 'It's not your fault, it wasn't your fault.'

'Wasn't my fault?' Bucky asks, not understanding.

'Hydra, any of it. What they did to you. What you did. It wasn't you.'

(Hydra. It's always Hydra, isn't it? Whenever he closes his eyes he can feel them waiting there in his nightmares. Of course they would be torturing him still. All the way into the future).

‘What they did?’ Bucky asks again, and then hears Steve’s words, remembers the film stock from the screens at the bar, ‘What I did?’

‘You don’t remember?’

'I don’t really remember much,’ he says, shaking his head like he can jog something loose, find something hidden, ‘How did we get to the future, Steve?'

And Steve is looking at him. His eyes wide. He's working himself up the bed, up to a sitting position - despite how painful it must be. 'What do you remember, Bucky?'

‘I…’ Bucky looks at Steve, at the raised eyebrows, at the clenched jaw, the tight fisted grip he has on the sheets under Bucky’s hand, ‘I remember the train,’ he says, swallowing, trying to fit his horror into a small, sealable box, ‘I remember falling,’ he looks aways from Steve for the first time since he entered the room, ‘I remember your face, getting further and further away.’

Steve’s breathing has ticked up. He’s doing that thing he does to hide his short sharp breaths from Bucky, but this is not an asthma attack, this is anxiety. This is worry. For Bucky. ‘Buck, it’s okay.’

‘I woke up on the side of a river, in a national park, not in Austria, in America, Steve, and it’s twenty goddam fourteen,’ he’s whispering and it’s painful, he’s got no control over the words, they just come right out of his mouth, like more bile, ‘I woke up in the future Steve, the future! What happened, why was I shooting at you? Why was I shooting at everybody? What did they do to me?’

Steve is reaching up one of his giant hands to cup it around the back of Bucky’s neck, squeezes it, kneads his thumb into the pressure point below Bucky’s ear. Bucky just leans into it, leans into Steve’s fingers, their weight around his neck. Leans into that comfort. ‘Bucky look at me, listen to me,’ Steve turns his laser focus to Bucky’s eyes and holds him firm, ‘You weren’t you, when you were shooting at me, you were compromised-’

Bucky dreads to think what compromised means, especially the way it sticks to Steve’s tongue, like he can barely get the word out.

‘-But, Buck, we need to get you out of here,’ Steve looks around at the rest of the room, at the door, at where he’s probably sure the guards will be standing, ‘Sam and Nat will be around somewhere, hopefully, and I can probably get them to help us, but nobody else can see you, okay?’

Bucky is nodding, he figured as much anyway, but he doesn't want to interrupt Steve, not when he’s so spooked. And Bucky can hear the flying guy on his way back, can hear him talking to the guards outside, and quickly adjusts the net back over his hair, tucking it away. Steve must be able to hear him too, because he’s moving his hand down from Bucky’s neck and back to the bed.

Bucky feels the absence of it like a blow.

And when the door opens Steve holds out a hand to the man who freezes at the sight of Bucky. Looks to Steve and puts his hands up. Lets the door close behind him and doesn’t take his eyes of Steve and Bucky.

‘Steve?’ the man asks, doesn’t elaborate.

‘It’s okay, he’s friendly, he won't hurt us,’ Steve is saying, calm and even, like he’s talking to a skittish animal, ‘Sam, don’t do anything, just hear me out.’

Bucky wants to shrink into himself. Wants to disappear for putting that look on the man, Sam’s, face. ‘Okay,’ Sam says, his voice low and rich, his arms loose and by his sides, ‘You have ten seconds.’

Bucky is pretty sure that won’t be enough.

#stucky fic #bucky barnes recovering #hurt/comfort #angst #4k words #my fics #my writing #whumptober

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kn1ghthawk · 4 years ago

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Fallout OC questionaire

@falloutfandomeventhub Fallout OC Questionnaire Whether your OC is a Lone Wanderer or Sole Survivor, these questions can be asked by others to know more about them! Or simply be used as a guide to further develop your character. Ask away, luv! 00. Which Fallout game are they from? Fallout 4 01. Which faction(s) did they join and which did they destroy? Why? The only Faction to be destroyed was the institute by the minute men. Officially, the botherhood won the commonwealth. Their equipment and training are stronger than either the railroad or the minutemen can handle on a one-by-one. With the institute destroyed, the railroad had lost its greater purpose. Some of the remaining members worked to establish a pipeline to Far harbor and Acadia for those who didn't wish for a mind-wipe. Others chose to join the minutement to make the world a safer place. The brotherhood is the army, the minutemen are the police. 02.What is their S.P.E.C.I.A.L.? S4 P6 E1 C1 I10 A4 L3 Strong enough to bend metal to his will, but no 'heavy hitter' or load hauler. Good eyes and quite perceptive, able to play with explosives without fear and an able rifleman The frost seems to have sapped all of his endurance he developed in the army, finding himself constantly winded. Between his sarcastic nature as a veteran, the dysphoria of a new world, and his half blasted face, his charisma is something to be desired Intelligence is where he shines, capable with computers, engineering and certified to operate with fusion cores. His agility is fair. Able to be sneaky, but by no means a ninja. He is lucky in cards but unlucky in love. Hard pressed to romance any companion, he is still able to get a lucky shot off. 03. Give us a summary of their backstory. Son of a locksmith, he used his gift with tumblers to break into places for the cheap thrills and fell in with a bad crowd. The first time he met Nora was popping a lock for her in the rain and he decided she was someone he was willing to make a better man of himself. He enlisted, became a combat engineer, got half his face blown off. Came home after the tour, got popped in the freezer. 04. What’s their full name and does it have a meaning? Do they have any nicknames and how did they get em? Nathaniel Victor Winters, A.K.A. Vic, Blue and THE SILVER SHROUD! Vic is a shortening, blue comes from the suit he emerged from the vault, and the silver shroud came from his time enacting revenge in goodneighbor and his codename with the railroad. 05. What’s their sexual, romantic, and gender orientation? Do they feel comfortable telling other people? He's bisexual male favoring feminine appearance lovers, he lost his virginity with another man in the gang he ran with as a kid. In this war-torn world, what you have in your pants and where you stick it really is on the bottom of the totem pole. 06. Do they have any mental illnesses? How do they cope? The horrors of the war and what he has done still tear at him today. He often stays up late nights tinkering and drafting until he is finally too exhausted to think and blacks out. He 07. Do they have any medical conditions? Is medicine/ treatment available for them? His lungs are frost-burnt from the improper freezing technique. He can get enough air to walk and talk, but any sudden exertion like running has him on his knees in ten seconds. he has second and third degree burns on the right side of his face and body. 08. How much do they care about their outer appearance? What’s their “beauty routine”? How often do they shower/ bathe? His physical appearance is a sensitive subject, some days he feels like he looks like half a ghoul with his second and third degree burns down the right side of his face and body. Optimally, he likes to wear his silver shroud get-up with the scarf wrapped around his face and operator goggles. (use surgical mask or striped bandana to represent the scarf pulled up) Not only does he like to bathe, but he has started building water heaters for a hot bath. 09. What do they fear the most? Fire makes him... uncomfortable, his armor always has asbestos when it is an option. He fears loosing curie, the only other person not bothered by his features beyond Hancock, both of whom are his only lovers. Part of him is afraid he will wake up in the tube again, that this was all a dream. 10. They’re biggest flaw? Do they recognize it as a flaw? He overthinks everything, he has an obsession with returning some of the old world tech back to this new place. He sees a hundred things being used or not used that would make things so much easier. 11. What are they most insecure about? He is almost entirely sure he is a synth, placed by deacon into the vault. 12. What Wasteland threat do they fear the most? (ex. Deathclaws, super mutants, raiders) Raiders are just people. So is the institute. But if he had to pick one single crature he will call for an airstrike on everytime is the mirelurk queen. Three story tall crab spitting armor-melting acid? Hard pass. 13. What’s their zodiac sign or which one do you think they relate to the most? What are their placements (if you know them)? (ex. Aries sun, Taurus moon, Aquarius Venus) May 5th 2045 (Taurus/Ox) 14. What’s their Myers–Briggs Type? (ex. ENTP, ISFJ) INTJ- The scientist 15. What Harry Potter house would they be in? (ex. Gryffindor, Ravenclaw) Ravenclaw 16. Which Pokemon Go team would they choose? (ex. Instinct, Valor, Mystic) Team mystic 17. Out of the nine forms of intelligence (rhythmic, spatial, linguistic, mathematical, kinesthetic, interpersonal, intrapersonal, naturalistic, and existential) which one(s) are they really good at and which one(s) is(are) their weakest? 1) Mathematical 2) Kinethetic 3) Linguistic 4) Spatial 5) Interpersonal 6) Intrapersonal 7) Naturalistic 8) Existential 9) Rhythmic 18. What natural alignment are they? (ex. Lawful Good, Chaotic Evil) Chaotic good, Doing the right thing, regardless of the law. 19. Do they have any hobbies? What are they? Tinkering, repairing, drafting. 20. Do they have a favorite holiday? How do they celebrate it? Halloween, costumes and parties. 21. What’s their favorite season? Winter, not just because of the namesake, the way the snow absorbs all sound and colors to make a calm quite monotone of the world. 22. Do they have a temper or are they level headed? Level-headed but vengeful. 23. Do they express their emotions freely or hide their true feelings? He holds his feelings until he has time to walk them out and express himself calmly. But if he gets overwhelmed with loss, he is known to find a corner and break down. 24. Are they a leader or a follower? A reluctant leader as he is the only man with a plan half the time. 25. How do they come off to others? What first impression do they usually make? Know-it-all, gallows humor, awful ugly. 26. Do they prefer to travel alone or with company? Who have they traveled with if any? Current companion if any? He has traveled with most of the companions, leaning on their experience and expertise. His constant companion is Curie and dogmeat. He has the sentinel to provide assistance and carry what he needs to keep himself agile. 27. Would you describe them as selfless or selfish? Does it depend on the situation? Most often he is selfless, throwing caps and resources as problems. He always makes sure the farms under his protection have eight turrets and the farmers are well armed and armored with the standard of leather armor and bolt action rifles. 28. What do they find most attractive in others? Name at least one psychological and physical trait. (doesn’t have to be romantic attraction) In curie it is her sweet faux-french voice and elemental green eyes that almost glow in the right light. From his minor hearing loss in the war, he often reads lips which leads to liking the shapes of certain mouths. 29. Do they flirt often? How easily do they fall in love? He is heavily flirtatious, but he cannot fall in love without sleeping with someone first. As a concupiscent, he has trouble forming longer relationships past fleeting friends without engaging in sexual activities with them. 30. What’s their love life like? Are they interested in anyone or in a relationship? He is in a relationship with Curie and Hancock in a 70/30 split. Hancock knows the need to get down and dirty to do what had to be done. So often after a 'dark' mission, hancock will get loaded and Vic will get drunk to wind down and whatever happens next happens. 31. Do they prefer to solve things diplomatically or using violence? “Si vis Pacem, Para bellum. If you want peace, prepare for war.” He always hopes for peaceful resolutions, popping a grape mentat before an important meeting but keeping track against addiction. But that peaceful meeting almost always comes with a loaded ten on his thigh and one person as backup. 32. What is their combat style? What range do they prefer? Do they sneak? He is a fine rifleman, preferring to take his targets one by one from a hidden distance for as long as possible with the sentinel and dogmeat running melee interference. If curie is with him, she cannot escape her programming with her buzz-saw limb so Vic gives her a melee weapon like a ripper or the throatslicer for her to exercise her medical expertise. Handcock is given a shotgun and a chance to go to town. 33. What weapon(s) do they always carry with them? Vic's favored sidearm is the ultimatum but his go-to is the Kiloton radium rifle. Before then It was Crickets spray-n-pray with the railroad deliverer. 34. Their most prized possession? A lucky rabbits foot he keeps as a charm on his pistols lanyard loop, it was a keepsake from the first time he ever went hunting. 35. Their thoughts on power armor? He finds them very convenient, as long as they are not overutalized or relied on to accomplish the task. As part of the combat engineers, he spent most of his time in a base skeletal frame with cobbled bits ten feet behind the real armored infantry solider marching through the front lines. 36. Favorite armor/ outfit? The silver shroud costume, armored up thanks to Kent. Otherwise, a pair of ballistic military fatigues with full heavy combat armor. 37. How’s their aim? Do their hands shake while pointing a gun? When using a rifle, his left hand holds the barrel steady, when using a pistol his right hand shakes from the nerve damage of the burn so he has to settle for center mass. 38. What are their thoughts on having to kill on a daily bases in order to survive? Does it take a toll on them? Or do they shake it off rather easily? The sad truth is that killing is easy, push a button, pull a trigger. The hard ones are the melee kills, feeling the hot blood splash and run as the last moments of fight or flight kick in before the death rattle. 39. Thoughts on death if any? (ex. Fear it, accept it) He is fairly accepting of death, the world is already a better place for his coming and going. 40. Do they move around a lot or prefer to have a place to call home? Adventure has kept him on the move, he is content for now, his place is in the workshop bringing back Boston to the way it could be. He trusts his friends to keep the day-to-day running while he plays with his pet projects. 41. What’s their favorite location? He likes Red Rocket when he needs to get away from sanctuary hills, Deacon jokes it is the silver shroud's secret lair. He likes to stop in on all the settlements to make sure he didn't need to call in the brotherhood for a massive problem. 42. Their opinions on ghouls, feral and not feral? Feral ghouls still remind him of zombies. His preferred practice is to kneecap them so they fall and let the others finish them off. He has heard the feral transition on the holotape to ozwald and can only compare it to rabied dog and will put them down like dogs. He feels that it is similar to dementia at an old folks home, there is no coming back yet, even from the serum. 43. Do they scavenge for their supplies or simply buy them? He is a scavenger as often as possible, Often holding off or doing without until later, Sometimes he will buy a weapon just for a specific part, then pass the rest of the weapon to one of the farmers. 44. Are they the type to get distracted and go off to an unknown nearby location or do they stay on track? It often depends on the severity of the mission at hand. If it is tracking a signal or fetching something then he is free to wander. But if it is a time sensitive mission like an assault or someone is in danger, then he is a one track mind. 45. How do they sleep? Are they picky about where and how or can they sleep basically anywhere? He prefers to be able to pull something over his shoulder, be it blanket or jacket. He can only really be at rest to sleep in a room with closed or no windows and a door he can lock or brace. Often blocking bathrooms with fallen stall doors so he can sleep on the floor. 46. What’s their favorite radio station and song? (post-apocalypse) Johnny guitar by Peggy Lee, it was the nickname of the boy he lost his innocence with. 47. What’s their favorite post-apocalyptic food? Are they a picky eater? Do they know how to cook? He prefers the canned dog food, it is a hearty protein and reminds him of army beef stew MRE's 48. What’s their favorite beverage? Do they drink alcohol? His favorite drink is Nuka Cherry and his favorite hard drink is numa Dark or rum and cola 49. Anything they like to collect? (ex. Unique weapons, Bobbleheads) He often collects weapons and armor mods to add to his modular suits to try and think of an answer to every situation. 50. Are they good at disarming traps or do they constantly miss them? He has seen what happens when a trap gets missed, the lives and limbs lost. He studied EOD wherever he could from anyone willing to teach him, the rest has come from experience.

#fallout 4

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networkingdefinition · 5 years ago

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• A 3K word story might well be done in some caffeine-and-nicotine-fuelled 36 hour session, and at the end of it, there’ll be a few passes of editing required, but I basically have a polished draft. – Hal Duncan • Actually caffeine is too hard on my system. I’m a delicate boy from Plano, Texas. – John Benjamin Hickey • Always drink at least 8 ounces of water or a sugar-free decaffeinated beverage with every meal or snack. If you are a heavy caffeine user, gradually reduce caffeine intake to zero whenever possible. – Barry Sears • Americans are used to being pandered to and spoon-fed everything. In a culture that needs caffeine-free cherry chocolate diet Coke, you’d best deliver information with entertainment. – Bill Maher • Anyone who doubts that caffeine is a drug should read some of the prose composed under its influence. – Anne Fadiman

jQuery(document).ready(function($) var data = action: 'polyxgo_products_search', type: 'Product', keywords: 'Caffeine', orderby: 'rand', order: 'DESC', template: '1', limit: '68', columns: '4', viewall:'Shop All', ; jQuery.post(spyr_params.ajaxurl,data, function(response) var obj = jQuery.parseJSON(response); jQuery('#thelovesof_caffeine').html(obj); jQuery('#thelovesof_caffeine img.swiper-lazy:not(.swiper-lazy-loaded)' ).each(function () var img = jQuery(this); img.attr("src",img.data('src')); img.addClass( 'swiper-lazy-loaded' ); img.removeAttr('data-src'); ); ); ); • Band of Skulls is joining Cage the Elephant as my new musical caffeine. • By now, it is probably very late at night, and you have stayed up to read this book when you should have gone to sleep. If this is the case, then I commend you for falling into my trap. It is a writer’s greatest pleasure to hear that someone was kept up until the unholy hours of the morning reading one of his books. It goes back to authors being terrible people who delight in the suffering of others. Plus, we get a kickback from the caffeine industry. – Brandon Sanderson • Caffeine dehydrates the body and speeds up the aging of the skin and kidneys. – Ann Louise Gittleman • Caffeine dehydrates the brain and body. – Daniel Amen • Caffeine gives me hope. Sometimes, when I brew my wicked strong Irish black tea just perfect, about halfway through the mug I feel a clear and overwhelming feeling of optimism. It didn’t surprise me when a study a few years ago implied that suicide was much less likely among coffee and tea drinkers. – John Vanderslice • Caffeine helps a lot. That and a certain amount of isolation. – Patrick Rothfuss • Caffeine is like a really attractive girl that has nothing to say. You get all jacked up on it and then you’re left feeling hollow and empty. – Adam Levine • Caffeine is my shepherd; I shall not doze. It maketh me to wake in green pastures: It leadeth me beyond the sleeping masses. It restoreth my buzz. – Bob Phillips • Caffeine. The gateway drug. – Eddie Vedder • Complacencies of the peignoir, and late Coffee and oranges in a sunny chair. And the green freedom of a cockatoo Upon a rug mingle to dissipate The holy hush of ancient sacrifice – Wallace Stevens • Couldn’t start the morning without caffeine. – Ginnifer Goodwin • Diet Coke does not contain nasty chemicals. It contains lovely and delicious carbonation, caffeine, and aspartame. What’s unnatural about that? – Meg Cabot • Doing something does not require discipline. It creates its own discipline – with a little help from caffeine. – Annie Dillard • Drink it,” I told her. “It’s good for what ails you. Caffeine and sugar. I don’t drink it, so I ran over to your house and stole the expensive stuff in your freezer. It shouldn’t be that bad. Samuel told me to make it strong and pour sugar into it. It should taste sort of like bitter syrup.” She gave me a smile smile, then a bigger one, and plugged her nose before she drank it down in one gulp. “Next time,” she said in a hoarse voice, “I make the coffee. – Patricia Briggs • Either the kid was naturally hyper or he was hopped up on enough caffeine to give a heart attack to a water buffalo. – Rick Riordan • Fitness has always been a big part of my life, so I train twice a day, every day, as I always have done, but also eating very healthfully. I don’t eat sugar, I don’t have caffeine, I don’t eat wheat – I look after my body outside and inside. It’s just a part of who I’ve always been. – Neil Jackson • For a successful strategy session, keep the food light, the lights bright, and drink caffeine all night. – Mike Brown • For me, if I get up and don’t meditate and don’t eat something before having caffeine, I go from 0 to 10 on the stress scale. – Gabrielle Bernstein • Heaven knows that alcohol is the worst thing in the world, but it’s debatable whether cocaine is worse than caffeine or whether it’s the same thing and they just changed the name. – Merle Haggard • I am running on fumes, so it’s time to get centered again. I start with eating healthier and cutting out caffeine – at least cutting back on caffeine. I exercise and get outside to play. I reconnect with my spiritual practice, which is daily meditation and prayer. Most importantly, I reconnect with my family and friends. If all else fails, a few deep breaths. – Amber Valletta • I can’t wake up at all without caffeine. – Andrew Rannells • I don’t have the time to devote to circles or covens. I have to fit things in when and where I can, in stolen moments and cups of coffee. Stirring clockwise to conjure. Widdershins to banish. There’s never enough time, and rarely enough caffeine, but I make do with what I have. Besides, cauldrons and pointy hats are overrated. Sometimes I see other customers practicing. Pouring their cream and sugar with studied intent. Stirring with purpose. I add an extra spoonful of sugar to my own coffee for them, to make all of our enchantments sweeter. – Erin Morgenstern • I don’t have hardly any caffeine, I don’t drink alcohol and I watch my red meat intake. My diet at the minute seems to be verging towards the vegetarian, which is surprising me because I tend to just listen to what my body is fancying. – Jayne Middlemiss • I don’t know where my ideas come from. I will admit, however, that one key ingredient is caffeine. I get a couple cups of coffee into me and weird things just start to happen. – Gary Larson • I don’t usually drink caffeine so that when I need it, it actually does something. – Anna Kendrick • I drink booze, I smoke, and I’m hooked on caffeine. I actually have been known to swear at times and belch and even raise my voice when provoked. And I’m not physically repressed! – Helena Bonham Carter • i drink caffeine” she said calmly “lot’s of it gives you pep – Ally Carter • I drink mate every day during training camp, and just in general. It’s packed full of vitamins and nutrients and a lot of B vitamins that you would normally get from meat. The caffeine in there affects me less and it’s more like a stimulant. I can drink more of it and it’s hydrating as well. It’s one of my favorite drinks, especially on a cold morning. – Chris Algieri • I love cranberry juice, but I’m not a coffee drinker – as a Mormon, I avoid caffeine. – Donny Osmond • I love Starbucks. Maybe thats a bit sad. But I definitely need my caffeine. Its what gets me out of bed in the morning. – Nikki Sixx • I ordered a soda – caffeine-free, low sodium, no artificial flavors. They brought me a glass of water. – Robert E. Murray • I still encourage anyone who feels at all compelled to write to do so. I just try to warn people who hope to get published that publication is not all it is cracked up to be. But writing is. Writing has so much to give, so much to teach, so many surprises. That thing you had to force yourself to do – the actual act of writing – turns out to be the best part. It’s like discovering that while you thought you needed the tea ceremony for the caffeine, what you really needed was the tea ceremony. The act of writing turns out to be its own reward. – Anne Lamott • I take them 8 to 80, dumb, crippled, and crazy. Crisp and clean with no caffeine, and a pair of spandex or either tight jeans. – Big Daddy Kane • I think I’ve reduced the amount of blood in my caffeine system to an acceptable level. – Alastair Reynolds • I try to stay sane and grounded by hunkering down, eating right, and exercising. I make a routine of spin class, yoga, and Pilates, places I push my body so hard I can lose my mind. Cutting out caffeine and sugar, being mindful, and getting enough rest are important. – Jaime Murray • I used to drink tons of caffeine. Now I make smoothies with frozen berries and Green Vibrance health powder. – Leighton Meester • I used to smoke cigarettes, ten a day, but gave up when I was 28. Now my vice is several cups of coffee a day, which isn’t great if you’re prone to weak bones as I am, as caffeine can leach calcium. – Britt Ekland • I want vasopressin, washed caffeine, Jumpstart, ginkgo biloba, guarana, and any intelligence enhancer introduced in the last five years. – Warren Ellis • I would drink gallons of coffee a day. Even now, off caffeine, I talk faster than anyone you’ve ever met. I finally recognized that I’m naturally amped up. But when I quit I was worried that I would never write again. It was like anyone who’s kicked a habit. I was in a blanket shivering, trying to kick the horse. – Nathan Englander • I would love to think there is a direct relationship between coffee and genius, but they’ve done studies, and if anything, caffeine probably makes you a little less creative. – Eric Weiner • I’d listen to things that felt really good in the moment and realize they were clouded by enthusiasm or caffeine. And things that I was struggling to get out ended up being really compelling. It’s an emotional roller coaster; there’s exhilaration and there’s shame. – Annie E. Clark • If they took all the drugs, nicotine, alcohol and caffeine off the market for six days, they’d have to bring out the tanks to control you. – Dick Gregory • If you want to have a nonmiraculous day, I suggest that newspaper and caffeine form the crux of your morning regimen. Listen to the morning news while you’re in the shower, read the headlines as you are walking out the door, make sure you’re keeping tabs on everything: the wars, the economy, the gossip, the natural disasters. . . But if you want the day ahead to be full of miracles, then spend some time each morning with God. – Marianne Williamson • If you want to understand a society, take a good look at the drugs it uses. And what can this tell you about American culture? Well, look at the drugs we use. Except for pharmaceutical poison, there are essentially only two drugs that Western civilization tolerates: Caffeine from Monday to Friday to energize you enough to make you a productive member of society, and alcohol from Friday to Monday to keep you too stupid to figure out the prison that you are living in. – Bill Hicks • I’m a really skinny guy, I’m real tall, and I have a very high metabolism, so if I drink anything with caffeine in it, it makes me have an anxiety attack. So I can’t do coffee, or cola, or coffee ice cream, or any of those things. They make me feel like I’m going berserk. – Mark Hosler • I’m active even on bad days; it’s tough to pin me down. People ask me if I’m a morning or night person. I’m an all-the-time person. I like drinking coffee, but I do it with lots of milk because my energy levels are high even without caffeine. You could call me Obelix, except I don’t have a belly. – Bipasha Basu • Interesting choice,” Sullivan said. He slid his gaze over to Paul, who was drumming his fingers on the table in a manic, caffeine-inspired way and blinking a lot. Paul wasn’t out-and-out singing along with the king of the dead, but he might as well have put out a big neon sign saying “How’s My Driving? Ask Me About My Nerves: 1-800-WIG-N-OUT.” –James – Maggie Stiefvater • Is my music indicative of a caffeine-surged green liquid? Probably not. – Alan Palomo • It’s all I have left in my life, caffeine and a poodle. – Brad Garrett • It’s the fine balance of caffeine and alcohol that bookends my days – Tim Minchin • Marijuana is not not harmful, but is the least harmful psychoactive substance that we have, with the possible exception of caffeine. – Maia Szalavitz • My major vice is sarcasm with a side of caffeine addiction. – Rosemary Clement-Moore • Never drink diet soda. It shows you have no nerve. Only drink real colas, caffeine-packed energy drinks, or vitamin water. Hate champagne because that’s what everyone expects you to love. Energy drinks are the best party drinks. You never get tired, you never get a hangover, and you can make fun of all the loaded people who think they’re clever but are really acting stupid. – Paris Hilton • Never had a cup of coffee in my life. Dr Pepper is my caffeine delivery system of choice. – Steven Soderbergh • Once I had a potentially heart attack-inducing eight double espressos in one day. I think my assistant secretly swaps my coffees for decaf as she doesn’t want me to die of caffeine overdose. – Steven Soderbergh • One of the things that’s interesting to me is I find things like caffeine and stunts actually relax me. When they’re putting a bit of gel on my arm and lighting me on fire, or when I’m about to go into a high-speed car chase or rev a motorcycle up pretty fast, I find everything else around me slows down. – Nicolas Cage • People often say that writing is ten percent inspiration and ninety percent perspiration. This is nonsense, of course. It’s pretty much one hundred percent caffeine. – Caprice Crane • Rebus was eating breakfast in the canteen and wishing there was more caffeine in the coffee, or more coffee in the coffee come to that. – Ian Rankin • Recently I quit caffeine. My doctor seems to think that 17 Diet Cokes per day is too much. In case you ever consider getting off caffeine yourself, let me explain the process. You begin by sitting motionlessly in a desk chair. Then you just keep doing that forever because life has no meaning. – Scott Adams • Rewards can deliver a short-term boost—just as a jolt of caffeine can keep you cranking for a few more hours. But the effect wears off—and, worse, can reduce a person’s longer-term motivation to continue the project. – Daniel H. Pink • Settle down, pup. I ain’t had my caffeine yet.” – Sundown – Sherrilyn Kenyon • Sleep is just a good idea. I bow to the god caffeine. – Jo-Ann Mapson • Sleep is just a symptom of caffeine lack – Herman Friele • Sleep: a poor substitute for caffeine! – Wallace Shawn • So I forcibly shove aside my prickles of pissed-off, which is easier than it sounds when millions of little sequined caffeine dancers are doing their big Broadway number on your internal stage. – Deb Caletti • Sometimes you have good days, and sometimes you have bad days. It really depends on how much caffeine you’ve had. – Chris Colfer • Starbucks says they are going to start putting religious quotes on cups. The very first one will say, ‘Jesus! This cup is expensive!’ – Conan O’Brien • Stop,” I said. “Please do not further endorken yourself to me. You have great hair and a car that is most fly, and you have just saved me with your mad ninja driving skills, so do not sully your heroic hottie image in my mind by further reciting your nerdy scholastic agenda. Don’t tell me what you’re studying, Steve, tell me what’s in your soul. What haunts you?” And he was like, “Dude, you need to cut back on the caffeine. – Christopher Moore • Sugar and caffeine. My willpower crumbled. – Rick Riordan • Tai chi is the one exercise that can universally help solve our growing health crisis. It has stood the test of thousands of years. We have a generation of baby boomers with increasing health problems; old people who are sick, in pain, fearful, and cranky; a middle class that is increasingly incapable of affording most of the drugs that are prescribed for their ailments; children that are flaccid, diabetic and asthmatic. People of all ages are addicted to drugs, alcohol, sugar, cigarettes, and caffeine. Stress follows almost everyone like a shadow. – Bruce Frantzis • There are a couple of homeopathic things that can be done, but you can’t really beat good rest and lots of water. That’s the honest truth. Making sure I’m well-rested and hydrated makes a big difference. Warm water and honey is a go-to, I don’t really drink tea unless it’s absolutely organic, because otherwise the caffeine will dry my voice out for some reason. – Miguel • There are two things that I cannot live without: music and books. Caffeine isn’t dignified enough to qualify. – Carlos Ruiz Zafon • There is no such thing as sleep deprivation, there is only caffeine deficiency. – Richard Simmons • This coffee falls into your stomach, and straightway there is a general commotion. Ideas begin to move like the battalions of the Grand Army of the battlefield, and the battle takes place. Things remembered arrive at full gallop, ensuing to the wind. The light cavalry of comparisons deliver a magnificent deploying charge, the artillery of logic hurry up with their train and ammunition, the shafts of with start up like sharpshooters. Similes arise, the paper is covered with ink; for the struggle commences and is concluded with torrents of black water, just as a battle with powder. – Honore de Balzac • Those fruity drinks better have a lot of caffeine in them or I’ll never make it through World Issues. – Lisi Harrison • To develop intuition, one of the things you can do is pay attention to what you eat. Eat as clean a diet as you can. Eat fresh fruits and vegetables without preservatives, without alcohol, caffeine, dyes, and organically grown if possible. But do what is comfortable for your. Don’t try to shift into a lifestyle that doesn’t fit, but be aware that the lighter you eat the lighter you will feel. – Gary Zukav • We have too many poisons in our diets now, like sugar and caffeine. – Jasmine Guinness • We’re machines for turning caffeine into physics – Nima Arkani-Hamed • Widespread caffeine use explains a lot about the twentieth century. – Greg Egan • You can never have too much coffee”, I said He turned and smiled at me. “You think so, but the rest of us get a little OD’ed on your level of caffeine. – Laurell K. Hamilton

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equitiesstocks · 5 years ago

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Caffeine Quotes

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princess-of-purgatory-and-bass · 6 years ago

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ShapeShifter

PART 6. Can you believe we’re now on part 6? I’ve never posted this much of my original content, so this is such a whirlwind for me. And with each new part, it seems more and more people are finding it and reading it. I may not be a well loved, famous tumblr content creator like some of the writers and artists on here, but each person that my work reaches is still amazing and appreciated.

Taglist will forever have @macherie02 and feel free to message me if you want to be added to the taglist

Warning- there are some sensitive themes covered in this chapter as there was a specific thing on my mind I felt I needed to be covered for my sake and for the sake of exposure, exposure and representation being what inspired the type of romance that this story covers (established relationships and polyamory). However, just because I want to give a voice to a specific topic does not mean you should automatically read it if you know it is something that will harm you to read. This chapter contains mention of abuse, starvation, and threat of suicide as a manipulation tactic, and specifically is about female abusers. If this in any way is going to hurt you, you do not have to read this. I will completely understand if you choose to skip this for the sake of your own mental health.

Big Cat (Part 1 Smut)

Bloody Night (Part 2)

Attempting Casual (Part 3)

Set Up (Part 4)

Experimenting Together (Part 5 Smut)

Unwelcome Guests

A flash came from a phone, the owner of that phone sitting in an arm chair across from the couch occupied by her three roommates. Ryan smiled at how the picture turned out, putting it in her Instagram story and tagging her three roommates in it. In the picture, Kendall was sitting on the end with one arm resting on the arm rest while the other was around the shoulders of Nina. She was curled up in the middle, something that was a bit odd for her seeing as she normally anxious to sit in the middle of the couch. Yet here she look so calm and relaxed. Her head rested on her fiance's shoulder, her hands gently running through the hair of Lincoln as the younger brother rested his head in her lap. The brown eyed hybrid seemed so close to sleep, his breathing even and peaceful while his eyes currently were closed. This was the home Nina had always hoped to achieve with the brothers. Every now and again, someone would shift slightly to get more comfortable. Beyond that, though, the peace of the moment was incomparable. Ryan couldn't help but to admire the three for how they were coming together, a true family in their own eyes. Happy as they could ever imagine being just by being around each other.

When a knock on the door came, it was Ryan who got up to answer it. The sun had set beyond the horizon just recently, the sky still a painting done in cotton candy and red licorice, cotton clouds blowing in the breeze. At the door was a rather tall man, though his once intimidating stature seemed to have become frail and thin. A friend of the brothers from working together for a few months who went by many names through his work, but at home was just known as Arthur. His blue eyes had become sunken, and the once wild mane of black hair now was shorter. Where it was still slightly longer and normally puffed up near the top was covered by a baseball style hat with a sports team on it that Ryan didn't follow. By his side was his wife Celia, a rather short and boney woman with shoulder length bleached hair. If Arthur's face was sunken hers was full of chasms. Every bone in her face seemed to stick out in a sickly way, and a body to match held it up. Arthur was a friend, but Celia if possible was left uninvited. Still though, anymore it seemed Arthur didn't go anymore without her latched to his side.

The two were welcomed inside and led to the living room, the two still awake in the living room offering polite greetings. Nina's hands stilled in Lincoln's hair though, going to wrap around herself in a way. Around Celia, she constantly felt under scrutiny. Her curvy figure, with rounded hips and chest through genetics, had once envied those who looked as skeletal as Celia now seemed to. And while Nina had since found a peace with the figure she was born with, it still wasn't always enough to keep the nagging voice out of her head of what she should be rather than who she is happy being. The shorter ginger woman recognized her best friend's distraught, having known Nina long enough to have seen how damaged her self view had once been. Ryan went over to the three on the couch, gently waking Lincoln since she knew Nina was not in a place to get herself out otherwise. Kendall went to whisper in his fiance's ear softly as Lincoln was woken up. "Do you want to go wait in the kitchen?"

Nina nodded slightly, kissing his cheek as Lincoln sat up, finally letting her up. She quietly got up and made her way passed the two who had just walked in, going to the kitchen that was out of sight to those in the living room. Once alone, the leopard woman leaned against the counter and let out a deep breath. She just couldn't handle being around Celia. No matter how much she just tried and tried, she felt too much unease to ever be able to be around her. She needed something to do though to work off the anxious energy building up inside her. Looking around, she decided to put together some sort of snacks and drinks for the visit. There was always things such as chips and cookies, though they weren't frequently eaten. In one of the cupboards was a bottle of Jack Daniels, as well as a couple bottles of wine. In the freezer was a bottle of gin that was always around. Nina got down a couple of larger bowls for the chips, having to jump up onto the counter to reach them since Kendall was the one to choose where they were placed.

While looking through the cupboards, she found a couple boxes of brownie and cake mix and got an idea. She pulled those down real quick before going to put the bowls in the living room on the table. Then in a second trip, she brought out glasses to the brothers. Kendall was the one to like gin, while the Jack went to Lincoln. Though Nina had tried different types of alcohol, and she did find some she enjoyed the taste of, she was not one to consume it, nor was Ryan. She still brought had glasses of red wine prepared though if the need came for the vampire woman. "Anything you guys would like?" Nina asked Celia and Arthur once her hands were no longer full, uncomfortable but still wanting to be polite.

"Oh no thank you. Arthur and I have sworn against the toxic things like alcohol and blood," Celia answered for them, causing Nina to arch a brow. Arthur was a vampire, bitten and turned a few decades previous, while Celia herself was born one. For them, blood was their main source of nutrients.

"But your vampires...?" Nina couldn't help but to comment.

"Well that doesn't mean we HAVE to drink," Celia rolled her eyes at the youngest in the room, crossing her arms. "I mean, look at Ryan. She doesn't drink alcohol and she's a vampire too."

"That's not what I mean Celia. I mean the blood. Vampires are tortured and killed by being starved of blood. It's the thing you guys need to survive. Since when is it suddenly toxic to you?" Nina pointed out, still quite confused on why they would cut it out of their diet when it was the only part of their diet they were known to need.

"Anything that you become so addicted and reliant on can NOT be good for you. That sort of addiction just can't be healthy," Celia told her, now going to put a hand on her hip instead.

Nina almost couldn't process what she had just heard. There was no way the older woman could actually believe that, and yet here she was, stone faced and serious, telling her that a basic necessity of life was just an unhealthy addiction. The leopard girl just chose to keep her mouth shut at that, making her way over to Kendall and softly pecking his lips. He smiled to her brightly, pulling her in for another kiss. "My Nina Bohem," he mumbled to her, causing her to kiss the top of his head sweetly. "And my Kendall Siciliani," she finished before going to walk passed to make her way back to the kitchen. Lincoln caught her hand before she could leave though, nuzzling her hand and kissing the back of it. Nina giggled slightly at how cute she found the small action, kissing his temple as he now let her hand go.

Deep in thought as she returned to the kitchen, Nina went into the fridge and grabbed out one of the bags of animal blood kept in one of the drawers. Normally they would just let Lincoln hunt wild animals, but when he was sick he wasn't able to get out of the house like he would need to to hunt. Because of this, there was always a couple bags stored just in case. She added the liquid to a bowl before pouring in the cake mix, then adding the other appropriate ingredients and mixing them together. The weak forms of Arthur and Celia now made more sense, they were dying of starvation. And though she was not a fan of Celia, she wasn't going to sit by and watch it happen. She preheated the oven as she started putting the batter into cupcake tins, washing the bowl once it was as empty of batter as she could manage. She just hoped the smell of chocolate was enough to cover the hidden ingredient.

As the cupcakes cooked, Celia made her way to the kitchen. Nina was reusing the now washed bowl, making a normal brownie mixture. Celia watched her curiously for a moment before getting a spoon out of a drawer, deciding to help with mixing new batter. "Ya know that was pretty brave of you, openly kissing Lincoln in front of Kendall. Does he know you cheat on him with his brothers then?" The leopard girl felt her blood boil, an enormous effort to control the animal inside of her having to be made. Instead, Nina just forced a smile and continue to mix the brownies. "We're a polyamorous relationship Celia. We're open with each other and know when we have other partners, and Kendall was even the one to suggest Lincoln become my second partner."

"Oh honey, you don't need to hide it from me. Especially in long term relationships, someone is bound to just cheat," Celia commented, grabbing a pan for the brownies to cook in and beginning to grease it.

"So who is it having the affair then? You or Arthur?" Nina asked her.

"Don't tell him. I've seen a couple of guys since we got married. He's just gone so much, but I don't want him to leave me," Celia admitted.

"If you really cared, why make it a secret? If you just talk to him, sure you would break his heart but maybe you could come to an understanding that would make you guys happier," Nina suggested to her.

"But he might leave me if I told him. Then what? I wouldn't be able to take it if he left me. I would kill myself right then if he tried-"

Sirens went off in Nina's head, the shock of the words rubbing her the wrong way. This was a line she was familiar with, the threat of suicide over a break up. It was something told to her by an ex she had a couple years before meeting Kendall. The pieces then seemed to fall into place for her. Why Celia always seemed to rub her the wrong way and why Arthur started looking so sick once he got married. He was miserable. He was caged and leashed with an unfit owner. And it was dragging him down every moment he was still unable to get away from her. The timer went off for the cupcakes, bringing Nina back to reality as she went to take them out of the oven. Celia put the brownie pan in the oven after the cupcakes were on the counter, restarting the timer.

The cupcakes were given a couple minutes to cool while Nina out some frosting in a ziploc bag, cutting the corner to make it into a makeshift piping bag. She took her time swirling the frosting over each treat, the two pans that had been managed from the batter using up all of the frosting that was in the container. Whatever Celia had been saying to her by that point were tuned out, the echoing of her self destructive admittance too loudly running through Nina's head for her to hear anything else in the moment. After a few minutes, Celia had left to rejoin the people in the living room, giving Nina a moment to finish processing. She took out her phone and created a group message with Kendall, Ryan, and Lincoln. "Celia just told me she has been cheating on Arthur. And that she would kill herself if Arthur ever tried to leave."

No response came, leaving Nina to clean the kitchen from her baking with only her thoughts. Though it wasn't her relationship, it still rattled her to the core to realize how toxic Celia truly was for Arthur, and just how miserable he had to be. When the timer went off once again, she took the brownies out and set them on the counter. Once they were set to cool, Nina turned her back to the counter and found herself sliding until she was curled up in a ball on the floor. She didn't know what to do, no matter how much she wanted to do something to help. After a moment, she regained her composure and got up again to cut the brownies. Each one was put on a plate, a second plate holding the cupcakes she had made, before going to carry sweets to the living room. She set them down on the table with the chips and went to sit between her boys on the couch once again. She noticed how Arthur seemed to look to Celia before taking a cupcake, as if asking permission to eat. Nina held her breath until she watched him take the first bite, closing her eyes once she knew he was eating it.

Ryan and Lincoln had also taken cupcakes, immediately realizing the secret ingredient once they had the sweets close enough to them to pick up the smell. The two caught on to the plan and ate their own before grabbing a couple brownies. It seemed Kendall and Celia were the only ones oblivious to what Nina had done, Kendall only initially taking a couple brownies since they seemed to be getting less attention and Celia's starved senses too dull to pick up the scent. Arthur ate a few of the cupcakes though, eating his fill since he had tasted the bloody chocolate. When Nina finally opened her eyes again, she began eating some of the brownies as well.

When the vampire couple made to leave, Nina kept a watchful eye over Arthur and noticed a time or two where the way he moved caused him to wince. It was a red flag to her, but this she kept quiet on since that could also be just the affects of starvation on his joints. She remembered how badly she would limp when she had once wanted to be skeletal, how she was constantly in pain from existing. There was a chance that it was that causing his wincing, and not the extent of toxicity that Nina was expecting Celia to be. Still though, she was a bit caught off guard when Arthur pulled her into a hug during the rounds of goodbyes. "Thank you," he whispered to her in a way no one else would hear before letting go of her. "Congratulations on the engagement you two. I can't wait to see you guys get married," he said a bit louder once he was no longer holding onto Nina, grinning to the four roommates.

Finally the door closed and the two were gone, silence in the house until after they all heard the car of the couple drive away. All Nina could do was breathe a sigh of relief while Lincoln stared her down. "Had you been caught, you would have been in Hell Nina," he eventually commented to her. Kendall looked between the two, confused as to what they were talking about. He hadn't seen Nina do anything that raised any flags to him. She had just been sitting there eating brownies with them. "Well, what did you want me to do Lincoln? Watch him starve to death because she's a delusional abuser?" Nina countered.

"What are you guys talking about? What did you do Nina?" Kendall finally asked them.

"She put blood in the cupcakes. That's why Arthur was eating so many of them," Ryan explained to him, standing and picking up a cupcake before taking a bite out of one. "You're getting really good at baking for creatures like us by the way Nina. I'm so proud of you."

Kendall looked at Nina and went wide eyed, not thinking her able to pull such a plan like that off. He took a second to finish his drink before responding. "Alright, yeah, Celia would have killed you had she caught you. But dear god I love your devious little mind," he told her, kissing her temple and making her smile as she ate a brownie. Once her mouth was no longer full, she kissed his cheek. "I can't just sit and watch him slowly die without doing anything. I was kinda hoping Celia would eat some as well, but she wasn't really eating anything while she was here. Even the brownies she watched get made. At least now, though, we have a bit more time with him before things implode on themselves."

After her explanation, Nina looked over at Lincoln and went to hold his hand. She hoped he wasn't angry about what she did. He gave her hand a gentle squeeze, though, before going to kiss the back of it. He had been nervous about her getting caught in the moment, but beyond that he really couldn't be angry over doing what she could to try and help a friend in need. He then wrapped an arm around her waist to pull her close, practically in his lap. He could see the worry in her eyes, and he left small kisses on her temple, cheeks, and lips to try and ease her mind. Kendall, who was feeling the beginning affects of the alcohol, went to lay down with his head in her lap, a switched up version of how they had originally been before Arthur and Celia had decided to come to the house. With a smile, Nina began playing with his hair and watched as he, unlike his younger brother, had immediately fallen into a deep sleep in her lap. She leaned down to gently kiss his forehead and mumble a soft goodnight, then sat back up to curl into Lincoln's side as best as she could, resting her own head on his shoulder now.

Time seemed to race by, while at the same time going slow and easing into the night. Kendall acted as a bit of a personal heater in his sleep to Nina and Lincoln, while Ryan stayed in her arm chair from earlier. The vampire girl went on her phone and decided to just order in for the evening, seeing how the other three were in no rush to move, let alone do any cooking. She got up from the chair, going to grab her keys before going out to her car to pick up the food she ordered, knowing what everyone's favourites were without having to ask.

While Ryan was gone, there was a point where Kendall, still asleep, had begun to fidget a lot. He was unable to get comfortable, and a quick check of his pulse at his wrist done by Nina found his heart to be racing. She was used to this, humming softly and running her hand up his arm, to his back where she rubbed it softly. Her voice was gentle as she sang a lullaby to him, one she asked his mother which was his favourite when she first started to come across his nightmares. He wouldn't tell her what they were, though from the way he held her tightly on the nights he would have them she knew that they really got to him. A few times he talked in his sleep, mostly just incoherent mumbling or just the word "no" on repeat. But one time in particular caught her attention when the mumbling was no longer hard to understand. "Don't leave." "Please don't go." "Don't leave me alone." He wouldn't admit to it, but it seemed what bothered his sleep the most was being left behind, forgotten. His nightmares were about being abandoned. When it seemed he was starting to wake up a bit from his nightmare, Nina leaned down and kissed his head. "Shhh, you're okay baby. I'm right here. Go back to sleep baby, I'm still here. I'll always be here."

When she was sure he was back to sleep, she sat back up to curl into Lincoln once again. One hand remained rubbing Kendall's back for a little longer while the other kept playing with his hair. Lincoln seemed to look at her with a bit of amazement, never having actually gotten to see someone ease a nightmare before. "How did you know to do that?" He asked her, looking at her and Kendall. She seemed to get him through it so quickly. Nina just shrugged for a moment, staying quiet at first. After some hesitation though, she decided to just open up to him about it. "Learning witchcraft with Ryan and Phoenix and Elizabeth, I learned a lot about dream magic. Even about dream magic I'm not supposed to study. It really teaches you what to look for and the hidden meanings. And nightmares are really, in the end, just bad dreams to an extreme level. It took a long time to figure out what specifically was in his nightmares, especially when you're trying to refrain from forbidden magic, but eventually I was able to find what bothered him. What it was he needed to know to push the nightmares away," she admitted to him.

"I thought chaos witches like you didn't believe in rules to magic. How can a magic user with no rules have forbidden magic?" Lincoln questioned her.

"Because it's a Native American dream practice. And while I do have Native ancestry, it's very minor to the point where I could never be accepted by a community I don't think. I'm too white by this point. But I still found books about them and read through them, made notes and figured out the practice. Out of respect, though, I don't practice this technique, nor do I teach it," Nina explained. "It's a private tradition I shouldn't know about, so it's not my place to use or spread it."

"I keep forgetting that there are closed practices. You're always so open about what you are, I don't think about the fact that not everyone is as open as you," Lincoln commented.

"No, not every person wants to pass things on. Some things are person or family or culture specific, and we have to respect the privacy of others. No matter the reason, they have every right to tell us no when we ask about something," Nina told him, curling up more into his side.

Lincoln kissed the top of her head gently, looking her over for a moment. She had closed her eyes by that point, looking peaceful enough to not even seem real. But she felt warm, not as warm as Kendall, but still warm, and the weight of her being supported by his side and the arm he had wrapped around her reminded her she was absolutely there. And while he was used to being close to her, normally he was just far enough to be respectful of her relationship with Kendall. It still felt a bit wrong to him that he was the one holding her, though he was still quite happy to have it be his reality. He could easily adjust to the new life where he was with her, whether she was still with his older brother or not. It felt right to be with her. It just was the slightest bit bizarre to him after so long of telling himself not to get too close that now he was a part of their relationship. And that just as much as Kendall was able to, he was now able to break her heart. They were trusting him more than ever before. And that seemed to be the part he didn't understand the most of compared to everything else. Why were they being so trusting of him when all he had proven was that he was capable of hurting her?

A kiss to his cheek caught his attention, causing him to look over at her. Her deep, grey eyes were always so expressive, one could get lost in the ocean-like depths of them. And right now they seemed so overflowing with concern. Like she could feel what was tearing him apart inside. Although based on what he had seen from his own mother, perhaps that sense of what others felt or what others were going through was just a shape shifter trait. A form of instinct, intuition. He brought his free hand to hold her cheek, kissing her softly until she sighed against his lips. "I'm okay. So is Kendall. And Arthur will be too one day. Everything will be okay," Lincoln assured her, pulling just far enough out of the kiss that she still felt his breath on her lips. She just nodded quietly for a moment while Lincoln kissed at her nose. "It'll all be okay. You and Kendall are going to get married, and I'll get to steal a kiss from the bride, and you'll have the family you always dreamed to get to have," Lincoln then added on.

"You boys are the family I always dreamed of. You boys and Ryan," Nina told him, her hands still playing in Kendall's hair.

"I never said we weren't your family. But I didn't forget you want to be a mom. You want to see how Kendall is as a father. You want a family with him," Lincoln gently kissed her temple, pulling her closer. "I get it. And I'm not upset you're wanting something with so serious with him rather than with me. I get this is still new for both of us."

Nina gave him a soft smile, now this time going to kiss him quickly before resting her head on his shoulder again. He was right, this was all new for them. Nina had never felt so in love, nor so loved, in a relationship than she so far did with her boys. Even just with Kendall, she had never felt so much love between a relationship than she did with him. And it seemed that the love she had for him was matched for Lincoln as well. She couldn't imagine a life without her boys now, and it brought a smile to her face every time to think about the two of them, of marrying Kendall, of going on dates with Lincoln, of how they just felt like a home to her she had never been able to experience before. As her eyes closed once again in the peace of the moment, she knew as long as she had Ryan and her boys, wherever they were she knew she would be home as long as they were all together.

#original #Original Work #original writing #shapeshifter series #part six #!!!!!!!!!

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lotsofdogs · 6 years ago

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A Random Tuesday + Ryder is Three Months Old

Hey friends! As I sit down to write the first part of this blog post (all of my work seems to be completed in small fragments these days!), the sun is shining through my office window. After several back-to-back days of clouds, rain and storms, it feels nice to see the sun again! Temperatures are back to the mid-80s in Charlotte right now which makes me feel a little ridiculous for decorating our house for fall over the weekend but since Hurricane Florence had us hanging out at home, it seemed like a good time to knock it out.

Hello pumpkins!

I wanted to pop in today to share another random day-in-the-life recap with you guys and give you a peek into our Tuesday. Let’s get to it!

Morning

All plans I had for waking up before the boys went out the window when Ryder was up before the sun with me with no intent to go back down. Thankfully Ryder almost always wakes up in a great mood, full of gummy smiles and sweet baby chirps. He’s often content to kick and wiggle on a blanket in the mornings so I got dressed for the day and then brought Ryder downstairs with me and set him up on the floor while I made coffee and spent some time going through one of the chapters of my small group’s most recent study.

Ryder wasn’t up for too long before he was ready for a cat nap and so I swaddled him up, placed him in the Rock ‘n’ Play, made myself a smoothie and then got some work done on my laptop while he snoozed.

(Sorry it looks so gross! I swear anytime I add cocoa powder to a smoothie it instantly looks like cat puke.)

I spent my early morning work time tackling emails and following up on some upcoming partnerships before I heard Chase calling me from his room. Ryder was making noises as well, so I quickly nursed him and then we headed into Chase’s room to get dressed and read some stories before preschool.

Whenever I walk into Chase’s room in the morning he almost always asks me, “Mom, you have Baby Ryder?” and immediately wants to get in his little brother’s face. It’s actually been a nice little incentive to help Chase get dressed at warp speed since I tell him he has to be dressed like his little brother before playtime can begin. We read The Cat in the Hat and played in Chase’s room for a bit before making our way downstairs for breakfast and a little more playtime before we needed to head out the door.

Chase only has school two mornings this week thanks to a hurricane-related closure on Monday and a teacher work day today and he was more than ready to see his teachers and friends. He ran inside and gave me a dinosaur growl goodbye. (He was a velociraptor yesterday, in case you were wondering.)

Once Chase was settled in school, Ryder and I made our way to boot camp!

While Ryder hung out in childcare, I went through a total body strength workout that looked like this:

(The workout includes my modifications since I’m still modifying quite a bit.)

It felt good to move and sweat and Ryder seemed to do well in childcare. I chatted with some friends for a bit after my workout and then we headed home so I could nurse Ryder and get a little work done before preschool pickup. Ryder wasn’t in the mood for a long nap so my work time was cut a bit short but I took advantage of a very awake and very happy baby to snap some pictures of him to celebrate three months with this sweet guy!

I just love the way Ryder reacts to happy faces, voices and smiles. It’s almost like he looks at the world around him through the eyes of a tiny human sponge that just wants to absorb everything. His big gummy smiles seem to overtake his whole body and he’ll often curl up into a smiley ball that makes me smile right along with him.

Afternoon

Before heading out the door to pick Chase up from school, I figured I should take advantage of an awake and happy baby and made myself lunch. Everything came together quickly thanks to yet another Daily Harvest harvest bowl (the obsession continues!) and this time I added some shrimp and pumpkin seeds to the red lentil bowl.

(FYI you can use the code pbfingers to get three free cups on your first Daily Harvest order if you want to try it out!)

After I was done eating, I loaded Ryder into his car seat and the two of us picked Chase up from preschool before making our way back home. I let Chase unwind and play in our family room for a bit while I nursed Ryder before corralling everyone upstairs in Chase’s room for a nap time picnic. (I told you guys I do this ALL the time! So random but it works!)

Once Chase was down, I brought Ryder into our bathroom and put him in his Dock-a-Tot so I could grab a quick shower before I nursed him and put him down for a nap, too. With both boys sleeping, I made myself a bowl of oatmeal with peanut butter (random snack but I was starving) and then began typing up this blog post. I ended up having TWO hours of time to work in the afternoon yesterday which felt like such a gift from my guys! It wasn’t fully uninterrupted (Ryder isn’t the most solid napper) but it still felt amazing to have time in the middle of the day to wrap up a future blog post and continue to chip away at my inbox.

Ryder was up before Chase and once he was done nursing, he seemed content to hang out with me in the kitchen in a little bouncer seat my friend Lauren gave me at preschool pickup yesterday. Ryder LOVES the bouncer seat in Burn Boot Camp’s childcare and since Lauren is doing a massive purge of baby things, she asked if we wanted her old one and I jumped at the offer. Ryder is a huge fan!!

With Ryder happy in his new bouncer seat, I quickly assembled dinner which looked like chickpea pasta paired with kale and shrimp. (I loosely followed this recipe from Clean Eating Magazine.)

We haven’t had the chance to get to the grocery store yet this week but I cooked up a big bag of shrimp we had in the freezer on Monday which worked well as a quick protein source in both my lunch and our family’s dinner. Freezer food for the win!

Evening

Chase woke up from his nap right around the time that we had a package delivery at the door. He was excited to thank our favorite UPS man (he’s practically a family friend at this point) and we immediately opened the large box to find the new comforter I ordered for our master bedroom.

I’m excited to see how it looks but sliiiightly concerned Ryan may veto this particular design choice and say it’s too frilly for his taste. We’ll see!

We spent the rest of the afternoon at home splitting time between our backyard where Chase “helped” clear our patio of debris from the weekend storm (thank you Aunt Laurie for his sweeper brush!) and our kitchen where we made a new batch of chocolate energy bites with dates, oats, peanut butter, flax seed, honey and cocoa powder.

Since Chase took a longer nap than usual yesterday, he was amped around dinnertime and had no interest in settling down to eat. He was also pretty content to play by himself with his toys and since this coincided with an evening cat nap for Ryder, I decided to roll with it and took advantage of the time to clean up the kitchen. Ryan arrived home a little after 7 p.m. and after a quick round of soccer with Chase, we all settled down for dinner. I reheated the pasta I prepared earlier in the day and we dug in!

Eventually we made our way upstairs and did the whole bed time routine. We finally had both boys asleep around 8:30 p.m. Ryan and I chatted for a bit before we were both ready to call it a night. I read my book until my eyes could no longer stay open. (I’m currently reading Total Control by David Baldacci. I like the story line and look forward to reading it at the end of the day but there’s something about the way the author refers to the main female character that irks me over and over again.)

Today should be a good one over here as Chase has the day off from school and we have some fun plans with friends at a local park on the agenda this morning! I hope you all have a great Wednesday and I hope to see ya back here tomorrow for a yummy recipe I have coming your way!

[Read More ...] https://www.pbfingers.com/a-random-tuesday-ryder-is-three-months-old/

#health #fitness

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sunflowerheartwriting · 7 years ago

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Escape: 21

The next chapter is the last! Sad to see it end by I’m glad we got this far!! You can read the previous parts on FF.net!!

Thanks to the new phone Makarov gave me, we woke up at 4 am, washed up, ate and discussed our plan of action. Levy had a stern look of concentration as she looked down at our notes from last night. I wished I could’ve stayed in bed with her, waking her up with tender kisses. I’m not the poetic type but damn it she brings it out of me. And she deserves every bit of romance, love and kindness in the world and if I somehow by some miracle make it out of this mess, I’ll show her all of it.

With our plan now recited and everything looked over, we walked to the car, hopped in and drove to the clearing across the train tracks and a few miles down.

“I thought you were going to walk down so you could scope it out,” she stated holding on tight to my free hand.

“Yea, but I think it’ll be better if I drive around it a little and I can leave you in the car. Gramps said that’ll be the best course of action anyway instead of walking. Just in case I get ambushed walking there it’ll be quicker for me to get away if I’m in the car.”

Her mouth formed into an ‘o,’ understanding the logic her Gramps gave. Without saying another word, we drove a few miles away from the spot circling the area, looking for possible hiding spots or more open spaces for our enemy or for us. The area was a wide desert like clearing near a random side road with no lane marks. On the other side of the road faced more open area that had buildings with dusty signs hanging from them miles away.

More of the old train carts lined the railway and scattered throughout half of the clearing, in front of the train tracks. Parking, a few yards behind a humungous train cart, I used it to conceal the car and Levy.

“You know, I really wanted to leave you at the train station.” I huffed out looking at my watch, reading 5:30 am.

“Yea, I know. And you know I would’ve followed you all the way here right.”

Smiling at her, I leaned closer to her, saying, “Yea, I know. But, remember your promise. You must stay in the car. I told gramps, where you would be and I know the cops will find you, so you’ll be fine. That at least eases some of my worry.”

“I remember my promise.” She said lowly as she leaned closer to me. I kissed her one last time, reveling in the softness of her lips and the tingle that runs down my spine every time I kiss her.

Reluctantly, I let her go, but not before kissing her on the forehead. “I’ll be back as soon as I can.” She whispered an ok before letting me go. She had sorrow in her eyes as she watched me get out of the car. Motioning for her to duck her head, I watched as she shot me a sad smile as she lowered herself out of view within the car. Once I was sure she was out of sight, I slowly strolled to the meet-up spot. Walking through the maze of train cars, expecting each one close to the car for possible danger.

If there’s one thing I learned from any of my missions that is to be at a meet-up point before the bad guys come. If not, they will probably set up a trap or multiple traps for you if you’re not careful. Even though, I know for a fact that I am walking into a trap, old habits still die hard. And who knows what that snake José is thinking.

When I made it to the clearing, I leaned against one of the train carts that gave me full view of the area and the road.

Minutes rolled by as if it were hours before he was within in sight. At exactly 6 am, José’s SUV and one other was seen speeding down the dusty road. I watched as they pulled into the clearing, kicking up clouds of dust and dirt in their wake. Kicking myself off the old train cart, I walked slowly to the trucks, keeping a good distance between us.

A burly man in a suit exited the passenger side of the SUV, opening the back passenger door. I watched as José smiled as he stepped out in snake skin dress shoes, dress pants, white t-shirt and a purple blazer.

“Good morning, Gajeel.” He smiled as two other guards exited the SUV to stand beside him. They had their hands placed lightly over their guns, ready to use me for target practice whenever José gives the word.

Stuffing my hands in the front pockets of my jeans, I gave him a short nod. “José.”

“I think you know why we’re all here, but since I don’t need you to explain your innocence, I would rather like the files you have on me.”

Clutching the flash drive in my pocket, I thought back to the conversation Makarov and I had before he left.

---------------

“But, I still don’t understand why he wants to meet with me if he knows everything. It doesn’t make sense.” I said running a frustrated hand through my hair as we walked to the car.

“Well, you still have information on him don’t you? He may want that back, so you don’t try to pull him down with you. So, show me what you have.” Makarov requested.

Digging around inside the hobo bag Levy used to grab stuff from my apartment, I pulled out the items I needed. Grabbing the Tupperware container that was in my freezer and now defrosted, I popped open the lid. Inside was an open bag of now thawed peas, searching in the peas, I plucked a thickly wrapped flash drive with all my files on it. Unravelling the plastic, I dropped the flash drive in Makarov’s out stretched palm.

“You sure everything is on here?” He asked surveying the USB.

Nodding my head, I huffed saying, “Yep. Copies of files from his laptop and detailed notes on what I found on his operation and more.”

“Well then, we can’t have you going there empty handed.” He smiled, digging in his pocket to retrieve to a flash drive of his own. “Here, take this.”

“What’s on it?”

“Notes of what you told me, you found and also forged documents of the pictures of the documents you sent me. It’s an exact copy of what you have on this flash drive, but if he decides to check it, I doubt he will thoroughly look over every detail of every document up there.”

“Damn, Makarov, you thought of everything.” I shook my head smiling, pocketing the replacement.

“And, one more thing, when he opens it, the computer he uses will send a signal to me as well as the police. So, when he does, get ready. You’ll have a few minutes to safely get Rogue and Cana.”

“How long do you think I’ll have?” I asked contemplating how I can work this trade off in my favor.

His eyebrows knitted together wrinkling his forehead even more. “Maybe, 10 minutes top, but at the least 5 minutes. Do you have your gun?”

Pulling out a small box that was wedged under my couch, I opened the lid to reveal the weapon. Makarov, nearly split his face at the wide smile that spread across his face.

“Gajeel, that’s a little small for you don’t you think?”

Feeling the tips of my ears burn, I rubbed the back of my neck. “Yea, I needed something more compact so Rogue won’t be able to find it and it’s easier to carry.”

Shaking his head, he let out a deep chuckle slapping me on the arm. “It’s ok, I understand. Just find it funny you seem to favor small things and even small people on this mission.” He said his eyebrows raised, mentioning someone we haven’t talked about yet. “So, you do you want to start or should I?”

Sighing, I knew exactly where this next conversation was going and felt the heat travel down my neck and up my cheeks. “I’ll let you start.”

He chuckled shaking his head, “Oh boy, you got it bad don’t you.” Nodding my head, his laughter boomed as he patted my arm.

---------------------

“So,” José smiled holding out his hand, “hand over what you have and no one gets hurt.”

“Not until I get Cana and Rogue.” I sneered, trying to hold my anger in check.

He rolled his eyes as if annoyed by my demand. “But what if, what you give me is nothing of importance?”

“Trust me, what I have is very important, and if in the right or wrong hands, could be your downfall.” I smiled cheekily seeing his face twitch in irritation. “How about this. A fair trade. Bring Cana and Rogue halfway to me and I bring the flash drive I have. You can check it if you like, but once you’re satisfied I get them both.”

Watching as the wheels turn in his head, I knew it was an offer he didn’t have choice of accepting. Even if I go to jail, my flash drive can either go to the feds or a competitor that knows his operation and can throw him out of business. Huffing, he snapped his fingers. A man exited the driver side of the other SUV, walking around to look at me with sinister smile.

Feeling a growl in my throat, I narrowed my eyes at the blonde male. “Jackal. I should’ve known it was you,” I spat. Ever since I met the man I knew something was off about him.

He didn’t say a word, just smiled as he opened the back door to the SUV, yanking out what seemed to be Cana and Rogue. They had a black bag covering their heads and the clothes they wore when I left them. Their hands were tied behind their backs and their clothes were stained with dirt and grime.

But, even then, to be sure, I had to see their faces. “Remove the bags, so I can know it’s them,” I demanded.

“Tsk, tsk. Gajeel, so demanding.” Jackal smiled, looking at José for permission. José, stared me down for a while before nodding his approval. Jackal ripped the bags off revealing an angry Cana and a very scared Rogue. Oh, they are going to pay for putting that look on my sons face. I could feel my body starting to tingle with anger, losing my grip on my temper. Closing my eyes, I took a few deep breaths to calm down before I looked back at the fugitives. Cana looked at me wide eyed and I could see the smile in them as the cloth gag got in the way of her words. Rogue looked wide eyed and tired as old tears stained his face and a new batch started at the sight of me.

I shot them both a smile as if apologizing without saying it, as I walked to the halfway point dropping the flash drive on the ground and walking backwards to my previous position.

“Alright, let’s go.” Jackal said grabbing Cana’s arm yanking her up and her shooting him a glare as she cursed him through her gag. One of José’s guard helped Rogue to his feet, following Jackal as he guided them to the halfway point between José and me.

“If you want to live, I suggest you don’t move,” Jackal suggested with his still sickening grin to Cana as he let her go. I could see the deviance in her eyes and acceptance not wanting to risk her life or Rogue’s. Jackal released her arm, bending down to pluck the flash drive the ground. Pulling out a compact computer from his jacket pocket, he plugged in the USB, surveying the contents. Looking at my watch, I remembered how long it take me to get both Cana and Rogue by me. It took Jackal about 4 minutes to be done with his search. “You can have her now,” Jackal stated pushing Cana forward almost knocking her to the ground.

The other guard still had his hand tightly on Rogue’s shoulder, preventing him from moving. “I wanted both.” I frowned.

“You see, Gajeel,” José sighed stepping a few steps forward so he could be better in sight. “I need to be sure that you will be here until the cops come, which they will in about a half an hour. It’s like a type of insurance.” He smiled so wide it made sick to my stomach and also made me want to punch his teeth in.

“I don’t know what type of game you’re playing but I gave you everything and the deal was both!” I shook with anger as I removed the gag from Cana’s mouth and undid the ropes that bind her wrist.

“You will get both, that I promise you, you just won’t get out of here alive, that’s all I want Gajeel.”

“And how is that going to happen.” Hate was dripping from my tone and anger was oozing from every pore of my body.

José smiled that stupid cocky grin shrugging his shoulders. “I will safely get into my car, leaving Rogue with Jackal. So, when the cops come he will say that you took both these poor people as fugitives and your death will either be at the hands of Jackal before the cops come or when they come. A lot of them are angry that you came into their town and bloodied their docks.”

“That wasn’t me and you know it! I was framed!” I roared, bawling up my fist. My vision flickered from José’s even wider grin to Jackal’s booming laughter. “And what’s so funny?”

He laughed a while longer before erupting into a wide grin. “You were set up by me.”

My body stopped shaking and I stared at him wide eyed as the pieces started to fall together in my head. He always asked me about my case, and I even caught him looking at some of my past case files before. I never told him what I was doing but knew he had access to some important information, so even if I didn’t tell him he could still find out. That bastard framed me, and he………he’s going to pay for everything he put me, Rogue, Levy and Cana through, as well as all those innocent people.

“You…..you bastard.” I growled, looking at the disgusting proud grin on his face.

“Oh, no you made him mad, Jackal,” José laughed as the sound of police sirens interrupted him. “I guess that’s my cue to leave. Enjoy yourselves.” José stated happily turning his back to us.

I was getting ready to run across that field to snatch José by the collar of his jacket and slam him against the ground. But, of course fate wasn’t on my side. Or was it?

“Not so fast,” A voice said behind me. Whipping my head around I saw a guy with black hair and droopy eyes approach our little group, with his gun aimed at José.

“Gray,” Cana breathed. The guy shot her a quick smile before looking back at José who tried to run but was soon stopped by another person who popped out from around his SUV.

The pink haired male, pointing his gun as José, who backed up slowly with his hands up in the air.

“Natsu.” Cana sighed happily, looking at the pink haired detective.

“Where are you running off to, José?” Natsu asked as José’s body guards drew their weapon. The one that still had Rogue, pointed it at Gray and the other two had their guns pointed at Natsu.

José quickly recovered from his state of confusion to a confident grin. “I’m going home fellows and as I see it, if you don’t lower your weapons, you won’t.”

“Our backup is coming and we already know all about you José and you too Jackal.” Gray stated, and Natsu quickly continued the conversation.

“When we got a big break in the case, it didn’t make sense when we found out Gajeel’s real name as well as that he had son. After we did some digging and you made a huge mistake in taking Cana, we were able to find the truth. Gildarts was that final key to helping us figure out everything and helping us talk secretly with Makarov.” Natsu said with a wide grin of his own as we watched José falter.

“Oh and by the way, for helping us, we promised first dibs on the people that took his precious daughter. His words not mine.” Gray smiled.

“Ugh, really pops.” Cana sighed running a hand down her face at the ‘precious daughter’ phrase while smiling sweetly at the thought of her dad.

Everyone looked at each other, frozen in place waiting for the first move as the police sirens got closer. I watched as José started to get fidgety and inpatient at the standoff and Jackal slowly reach into his jacket pocket. Grabbing the gun from my waistband, I pointed it at him daring him to move. Then it happened.

José pulled out a gun and quickly aimed it at me, he pulled the trigger causing everyone to spring into action. Rogue quickly ran to me, I was about to run to grab him but as soon as I took a step, I dropped to my knees. Feeling the sharp pain in my abdomen, I looked down to a blood soaking my shirt. Cana took charge quickly running to grab Rogue. Once I was sure he was safe in her arms, I watched Jackal slowly move something from his jacket, knowing his specialty, panic coursed through every muscle.

“Get to the train carts! NOW!” I yelled at Cana, causing her to sprint past me with Rogue in her arms.

My eyes shifted from the gun fight that ensued from the guards and the two detective and Jackal. The detectives were holding their own, so I focused all my attention on Jackal.

“Don’t worry, this isn’t for you. It’s for the detectives.” He sneered, pulling out a grenade. Kicking into gear, I charged towards Jackal, knocking him off of his feet.

We wrestled for the grenade in the dirt, rolling on top of each other, punching, kicking, anything we could do to get the upper hand. Jackal bored his elbow into my wound causing me to roar in pain, knocking me off my guard. In my disorientation, I heard the click of the pin be released. Quickly, pinning him down, I broke his wrist tearing the grenade from his hand, cocking my arm back to throw the grenade as far as I could in the opposite direction of the detectives. Jackal squirmed and bucked under me like an angry bull, affecting my throw. The grenade was tossed with a more height and less distance than I intended.

Both of us scrambled away from each other trying to get enough distance from each other as possible. The grenade went off as if it was close to my ears, the pressure of it throwing me forward with ease slamming me against the nearest train cart.

I grunted in pain as I slumped to the ground, hearing the continuation of gunshots muffled as if cotton were in my ears with an infuriated ringing in my ears from the explosion. I tried to sit up but the gunshot wound in my abdomen and the hard impact with steel told me I probably broke a few bones. My vision was hazy and everything was spinning as I tried to blink the stars from my sight. But the more I tried the more my vision blurred with the energy seeping out of me through my wound.

I saw a flash of blue and honey hazel eyes look down at me with fear before my eyes drifted closed.

------------------------------

When I heard the gunshots it took everything in me to not move from my crouched position in the car. I closed my eyes, praying Gajeel and the others would be ok, but as soon as I heard the explosions I ran. With no regard for my own safety, all I could think about was the possibility that Gajeel might need me. My feet thundered across the ground as I ran as fast I could in the direction of the explosion. Weeding through the train carts, I skidded to a stop when I saw brown hair running through the same maze.

“CANA!” I yelled out with all my might, catching her attention. She backed track, a relieved look on both of our faces when we saw each other. We ran too each other, hugging tightly. Rogue was so shaken up, he kept his face buried in Cana’s neck, and his eyes clenched closed him holding onto her with a death grip.

“We need to get out of here before things get bad!” She said grabbing my hand, pulling me along with her.

Ripping my hand away I shook my head, “I can’t, I have to get Gajeel first. I know he’s hurt.” I said with pleading eyes.

“Levy! Please we don’t have time-“

Interrupting her sentence, I thrusted a pair of car keys into her hand. “If you keep running, there’s a car behind the carts. Get Rogue in the car safely and I’ll be back!” I said sprinting away without hearing her argument.

She was right, we don’t have time, that’s why I have to get to Gajeel as quickly as possible. Once I breached the final set of train carts that were facing the clearing, I peeked out to survey the scene in front of me. José was being detained by officers and Jackal was trying to make a run for it but not without officers chasing after him. One of José’s guards was still in a shoot out with the officers while two of them were on the ground bleeding. I looked around peeking out further, seeing Gajeel slump against a cart, two carts down.

Running out into the open, I was already shaking when I dropped down beside him. He was bleeding from his abdomen, blood trickled down the side of his forehead and his face was twisted in pain. Ripping my shirt off, I balled it up to put pressure on his stomach, trying to stop the bleeding.

“Gajeel! Gajeel, NO!! OPEN YOUR EYES!!” I bellowed watching his eyes close and his body go limp on the ground. A flood tears poured from eyes as I put all of my weight on the balled up shirt that hastily soaked up the blood. “Please…..Please, open your eyes,” I pleaded, shaking as I sobbed violently. “Don’t, leave me, I love you, you idiot.”

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