#or pete and his wife

[unknownarmageddon]

spoilers are okay :^)

okay you’ve enabled me so if this post ends up fifty million miles long. then uh. buckle the fuck up /silly

it’s not gonna be exactly chronological because the show kinda blends together in my mind, but i’ll try to highlight the main stuff chronologically to the best of my ability. and as a warning there will be mentions of dark topics like death, abuse, drugs and whatever else because it is. a dark show wailing

also excuse any typos this is a Lot to go back over so i didn’t do much editing in that regard

SO. twin peaks. twin peaks is a show directed and written by david lynch and mark frost. it had two seasons that ran from 1990 to 1991, with a single third season return that aired in 2017, 26 years later. there was also a movie made around the time of the original running, called “fire walk with me” that served as a prequel and took place before the show and followed the character laura palmer.

season one begins with our main character, an fbi agent named dale cooper, entering the small fictional logging town of twin peaks, washington. as he is entering we see him talking into a tape recorder and describing things to it, addressing it as diane. he does this repeatedly through the show, and we learn that diane is his coworker and eventual lover who he sends these tapes to to document his work. we never see diane in person in the first two seasons, but she eventually shows up in the third.

anywayg. once in twin peaks, cooper meets the local law enforcement, made up of andy brennan, hawk, harry truman, and lucy moran. they then work together to investigate the murder of laura palmer, who was found washed up on a bank wrapped in plastic. she also had a letter stuck under one of her fingernails.

now laura palmer, and her murder, are INCREDIBLY important to this show like she is. the pinnacle of haunting the narrative, because she haunts it the entire show, even in the return. no one is doing it like her. she’s never shown properly alive ever in the main show but she still manages to be one of the most important and prominent characters

overall, just as like a character herself, we gradually learn that laura was not as innocent as her family and most of the people that knew her thought she was. she had issues with drugs, general bad emotional turmoil, and i think did sex work for a casino(?) barely outside the us border in canada. the cause of her bad mental state is revealed later

so the show starts off fairly normally. cooper’s character is painted as being positive and excitable, and he is shown to take great enjoyment in the small things like a good cup of coffee and the douglas firs he sees for the first time upon entering twin peaks. all the characters in this show are equally,,, unique?? i guess. they all feel very alive and like regular, weird people. like this is some of the most interesting characterization i’ve seen in a show right up there with adventure time

one person in particular is called the “log lady”. she’s this old, eccentric lady that carries around a log in her arms. she frequently comes to the sheriff’s department to share “premonitions” or whatever that her log apparently (according to her) gets. usually she says something like,, “my log has to tell you something” and just generally personifies her log like it is this odd, almost omniscient being. and usually the log’s messages do end up leading them to clues about laura’s murder and generally progressing the plot. also log lady pictured below cause she’s like one of my favorite characters look at her

and also just on the topic of characters because i’m not sure how to fit this in, there are several other prominent characters. notably there is shelly, bobby, and leo, who has a kinda side plot around how shelly is being abused by leo, and is also having an affair with bobby. this ends up with bobby trying to help shelly get rid of leo. bobby was also laura’s boyfriend, and is questioned by the sheriffs a bit around the beginning.

also there is donna, who was laura’s best friend and is very prominent in terms of learning about laura and trying to figure out who killed her. a prominent character connected to donna is also james, who i think??? laura was having an affair with but james was actually in love with donna. james is also important in terms about learning about laura and what she did last before she got killed and etc etc

there’s also “big” ed, norma, and nadine. nadine is ed’s wife, she is one of the more eccentric characters, and is kind of?? snappy?? i dunno how to describe it. she is very passionate about drape runners and is generally painted as like “the crazy old(ish) lady kids tell stories about”. ed is james’ uncle(???) and is having an affair with norma, who runs the diner shelly works at. so if you couldn’t tell everyone is having an affair with everyone and the relationships are everywhere in this show /silly (there’s even more i havent mentioned either. too)

finally there’s also laura’s parents, leland and sarah palmer. they’re both INCREDIBLY in shambles after laura’s death. they aren’t taking it well, and are increasingly psychologically erratic. and that’s the only way we ever really know them, these torn up, sad people. though mostly sarah, because eventually leland’s hair turns white and he becomes almost uncharacteristically upbeat. though he does break down at points, wailing out laura’s name whenever he starts thinking of her again, primarily when he is dancing by himself at a local lodge

SO the first bit is mostly, from what i remember, focusing on introducing the characters, cooper getting settled in the town, and them questioning people and gradually figuring out clues that could lead them closer to laura’s killer

but then eventually it gets kinda weird. as if it wasn’t already /silly

log lady’s log tells them “the owls are not what they seem”, they find the phrase “fire walk with me” on a piece of paper at a clue they find for laura’s murder. and the black lodge shows up.

i don’t exactly remember where in the show the black lodge becomes prominent, so i may be going in and out of order here, BUT. the black lodge. it isn’t actually called the black lodge, or even explained what it is, at the beginning, but. it’s this place that cooper ends up in his dreams (at first anyway. he goes there physically later)

this is where the essentially other-dimensional entities known as “the man from another place” and “the giant” that cooper meets are connected to. i dont think the giant is actually from or resides in the black lodge, but they are connected at least somewhat.

the man from another place and the giant both speak to cooper individually (one inside the black lodge and one outside), giving him equally cryptic explanations and riddles that he needs to solve in order to get further in his investigation of laura palmer’s murder. also, in the black lodge, cooper sees and interacts with laura palmer multiple times, usually sitting in one of the chairs. she talks to him, and says other cryptic things similar to the man from another place. ALSO side note the way they make people sound when they talk inside the black lodge is the raddest fucking thing to me so here’s a clip of it

so, anyway. throughout the first season it is never really revealed or explained who killed laura. we don’t find that out, not for sure. but there are a handful of suspects, but two prime ones. jacques renault and leo johnson. as far as i remember jacques is connected to the casino i mentioned earlier (which is called one eyed jacks), as well as connected to leo through drug dealing. leo is someone laura had talked about (and implied to be sleeping with) in personal tapes she recorded for her therapist, which donna and james work to find and steal from said therapist’s office. ANYWAY, back to jacques, cooper and the sheriffs do their own investigation of him at black jacks, where they use leo’s drug connection to jacques to go eventually go undercover and set him up so they can arrest him. he gets shot after trying to shoot one of the officers, and ends up in the hospital. here, leland palmer finds him and in a almost crazed state upon hearing he might have killed laura, sets off the fire alarm and smothers jacques to death.

also, leo ends up getting shot as well, which ends up in a coma that then turns into him getting neural(?) damage, binding him to a wheelchair and causing him to need to be cared for by shelly and bobby

that is the last episode of the first season, and it ends with cooper getting shot three times in his room at the great northern hotel by an unknown person. then he eventually passes out from blood loss and wakes up in the hospital, a bit of time later, thus beginning the second season.

later, it is then determined that neither leo nor jacques killed laura, and that there is a third, unknown man who did.

that man is bob. he has no last name, that’s all we know him by. bob

bob is a dark entity from the black lodge, but takes the form of this guy. (who, fun fact!!!!! this isn’t like, a full on actual actor. this guy is someone who worked just more manual behind the scenes things for the twin peaks set, but david lynch pulled him in to play the role of bob)

i can’t remember if bob shows up in the first season at all, or if he’s just in the second season, but he is WILD. it’s hard to explain how unnerving he manages to be just with words and still images, but he is unnerving. he’s often times just seen for quick seconds, like the frame of him looking through the bed frame here or the scene where he crawls erratically over the couch.

we find out about bob primarily through this guy called mike, who is very similar to bob. he is another entity, spirit, from the black lodge, who is possessing a vessel to be outside of it. he and bob used to be closer, and they used to commit generally horrific acts similar to, i assume, laura’s murder together for the sorrow from their victims, until mike had an epiphany and left him. mike repeatedly helps cooper track down and find bob.

now, in the second season it is fully revealed what happened to laura palmer when her death is mirrored through her cousin, maddy ferguson, who is played by the same actor and repeatedly told how much she looks like laura.

maddy visits and stays with leland and sarah in twin peaks, where she mostly spends time with donna and james as they investigate laura in their own way. she saw bob i think once, like sarah, when bob climbed over the couch.

BUT, then, she gets murdered in the palmers’ home. she goes downstairs and finds sarah on the floor, drugged. leland appears and attacks maddy, physically beating her and then dancing with her in a almost crazed scene. while this is happening he visibly turns into bob, then back to himself, then back and forth a few times. he then slams maddy’s head into a painting on the wall and kills her.

he then places a small piece of paper with a letter on it under one of her fingernails and wraps her in plastic, thus completely mirroring laura’s murder and revealing that laura’s killer, from her view, had been her own father.

generally, though i think it happens in fire walk with me and not the main show, it is shown how bob had tormented and abused laura, while possessing her father.

leland inevitably gets arrested for maddy’s murder, and is kept in custody in the sheriff’s station. here, bob goes increasingly mad and unstable. bob confesses to the murders, and after, the station’s sprinklers go off and bob slams his vessels head repeatedly into the hard steel door of his cell. when cooper and truman enter the cell, bob has left the vessel, and leland is on the floor. as he is fading, leland desperately apologizes for bob’s actions, and explains bob’s possessing him. leland dies from his injury and is buried next to laura.

then, now i might be skipping over some stuff because i can’t remember what happens between point a and b, but bob eventually comes back. toward the end of the season cooper physically gets trapped in the black lodge by bob, where he is chased in circles through identical rooms by a doppleganger of himself. here, he sees the man from another place, leland, bob, and laura, all of which are dopplegangers with silver eyes. cooper’s doppleganger and bob’s doppleganger laugh in the weird, distorted, backward way they talk in the black lodge, and laura’s screams. which is INCREDIBLY hard to convey properly just in static text, but christ it’s so eery dude.

bob manages to keep cooper trapped here in the black lodge indefinitely, and gets out to take his place using his dopplehanger. we see cooper wake up in his room in the great northern, surrounded by his friends. he speaks to them in an uncharacteristically monotone way, then goes into the bathroom, where he sees bob taking the place of himself his reflection. he smashes his head into the mirror and laughs as blood runs down his face.

then credits immediately role, thus ending the second and last season of twin peaks that there would be for several years in the wildest w way. like imagine watching that when it aired and having to wait almost thirty years. god dude

BUT THEN. there’s the third season. which i may graze over more because i’ve already taken two hours to write this and having to write this many words is destroying my brain

so the third season takes an almost completely different turn. there’s a shit ton of new settings, including like las vegas, new york, texas, new mexico. like. lots of places. lots more pale yellow flat areas with branchy shrubs and not as many green lush forests.

so the third season, i think, starts in this big ol skyscraper in new york(?) in this concrete room with a big glass box in the middle that has a bunch of cameras pointing to it. we never fully know what the situation with this room is but it has a weird feel. it’s very secured and guarded, and there’s only one guy in it at a time, and all he does is sit and watch the box. eventually he does a bit of a goof and gets distracted by a girl he brings in, and this big, blurry white figure shows up inside the box. it then essentially breaks out and massacres both people where they’re sitting, tearing up their faces, etc. their murder begins a case that is investigated and tied into allll the other shit that happens

said glass box ^

and then, we finally see what becomes of cooper. we first see a man named dougie jones, who is played by the same actor as cooper, like maddy and laura. we also see cooper, who is sitting in the black lodge. and i thinkkk that mike pulls dougie into the black lodge through an electrical outlet. cooper is then spat out through the outlet into the house that dougie was in.

this throws cooper, who is out of it and needs to be guided around by those around him, because i think the thing is not all of him made it through??? or being in the black lodge that long fucked him up??? or whatever, into a whole new life basically. everyone assumes he is dougie, and he ends up with dougie’s wife, janey-e, and dougie’s son, sonny jim. he goes to dougie’s job, interacts with his boss and coworkers, all while being guided by mike from the black lodge. mike gives him little nudges on what to do in paperwork to get the favor of his boss, and where to go, etc.

eventually, though, cooper gets wrapped up with these two brothers adjacent to crime bosses that own/run a casino in vegas. i don’t remember exact details, but i know they end up being after cooper, aiming to kill him because of things guys that work for them have told him about him, and associations with dougie’s job and boss, and just general things dougie himself has done.

but, then, when dougie’s boss gets cooper to meet up with the brothers, one of the brothers gets a dream (assumably send by the black lodge) and mike gets cooper to bring them a cherry pie, which had been in the brother’s dream, so they decide to not actually kill him and instead commit to helping him ans getting him whatever he needs. they give him money, help his family, etc.

so, overall, this aspect of that season simply follows cooper as he stumbles through these new settings, gaining the favor of those around him by being nice to them and through the black lodge’s nudges.

HOWEVER, while all of this is happening, we also get to see what bob, masquerading as cooper, has been doing and has done the past twenty five years. we see that bob has gone back to his terrorizing, criminal ways, because he makes cooper a wanted criminal. he organizes people to kill other people, murdering a few people himself, and etc.

we follow a whole almost delegate storyline with bob for a while, in a different location with different characters. we see gordon and albert, along with diane, as they try to figure out cooper and his sudden “snap”, though they eventually figure out that it isn’t the real cooper. we see them as they encounter entities from the black lodge, and eventually it is even revealed, later on, that the diane they have been with is actually a doppleganger

eventually, in the final few episodes of the season, cooper snaps back to himself after sticking a fork in an outlet, and the brothers that own the casino get him a plane so he can reunite with gordon, thus connecting the two storylines.

then cooper returns to twin peaks. here, a side character with a gardening glove stuck on his hand that gives him superstrength (not a joke. literally happens WEEPING) fights bob and ejects the bubble that was bob out of the dopplegamger. now everything that happens after this is hard to straighten out in a way that i can explain it chronologically but cooper, at a point, ends up in the forest where laura palmer was, moments before laura would have been killed. he takes her hand, and says something to her i can’t remember, and then she disappears. also, at a point, though i’m not sure if it was before or after meeting laura, reality essentially shifts and cooper and diane go to a motel together. then, the next morning when cooler wakes up, diane is gone. he finds a letter addressing a name that isn’t his, signed by a name that isn’t diane. then, when he leaves the motel, it’s shown that it isn’t even the same motel or the same town anymore.

he goes to a diner, where he is confronted by two men, who he fights and shoots (non-fatally). he then asks for the address of the other woman who worked there from a waitress, and leaves.

he goes to this address, finding a woman who looks exactly like laura palmer, though she has a different name. he tries to explain to her who laura is, who she is, but she doesn’t know what he’s talking about. he then takes her himself to twin peaks, where he takes her to her mother’s home.

in an excruciatingly suspenseful, quiet, and long scene (positive) they knock on the door, but a stranger answers, and the woman that does doesn’t know who the palmers are. cooper asks who owned the house previously, and she gives several names, none of which are the palmers. he asks her if she knows laura palmer, and she says no. it makes it seem as if the palmers never existed.

confused, cooper goes back down to the driveway with laura. they look at the house in silence, before cooper asks “what year is this?” to which he doesn’t get an answer. laura looks at the house, and there is a strange, faint, almost scream-like sound from within. laura grows increasingly distressed before she screams a bloodcurdling ass scream, and all the lights in the house go dark.

and then the season, and the show, ends.

[shit-sorry-fuck-mybad]

I think Bradley technically could go to Ice and Mav for dating advice but it’s not all that useful because it’s basically either “I don’t know how I did it, kid” and “I just hated him until I didn’t? And it happened?” So not a lot to work with

So he goes to uncle Slider, and it’s not much better?? Cause Slider’s dating advice is basically a list of what not to do, taken from his time witnessing icemav’s beginning

So Slider’s advice is:

Don’t snap your teeth at them

Don’t insult them

Don’t stare at them from across the room with a weird smirk on your face, everyone can see you and you look ridiculous

DON’T snap your teeth at them please

Don’t play any sport shirtless against each other, it gets weird for everyone

Don’t eye fuck each other in the locker room, it also gets weird for everyone

DON’T FUCKING SNAP YOUR TEETH AT THEM

The only thing Bradley retains from all that is to not snap his teeth at them… no hope for the rest… hangster is just icemav with less teeth snapping

[bo0tleg]

Decided to make one of these for Top Gun: Maverick too, you know... to dispel the pain I caused with my last post...

(this is my whatsapp history, not direct quotes from the movie)

(in the first one, I'm aware it looks like There's a 30 min gab between both messages. There is not, my internet just decided that they were going to let me see the message 30 min later)

[futazolam]

Patrick spoke Mandarin (“I can speak a little Mandarin. My wife’s families are Chinese they are at Chinese people (lol) eh they’re at Shanghai…”)

I’m like a lawyer medley and DONT STOP BELIEVIN RETURN?

sorry I screamed so hard it will happen again

[pollyna]

Mav doesn't like to talk too much about his private life, especially with people who he doesn't know very well, but even with people who he works with for a long time. But everybody knows he's married and he has a husband. Literally, every single person in the Navy knows he's married to some man because sometimes he says things like "it was a project my husband was-" and "my husband told me the same thing yesterday!"

What they don't know is exactly who he is married to, so when Ice gets around for a reason or another, everybody's jaws hit the ground because they heard so much about this man who really seemed the most normal man on earth and then it's fucking Admiral Thomas Iceman Kazansky.

(Who kisses Mav on the threshold before going away, just for the kick of hearing somebody letting something hit the ground.)

[cloysterbell]

Or maybe you broke the table.

[starrynyxa]

patrick stump being the White Dad at the Asian Family Function is really important to me and because of that, i cant ever imagine a world where he's not in love married to his wife. sorry.....

[columboscreens]

[onestormynight]

two shirts in common rotation in the Mitchell-Kazansky household

[gaiaxygang]

i have very normal feelings about this still and what i mean by that is that i think about it all the time

[vonlipvig]

incredible c plots happening rn

[somedaytakethetime]

AND BEFORE I FORGET

HAPPY 60TH TO THE GILF! THE OG GREAT DANE! 🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳

[kcuf-ad]

What gives you happiness?

Sharon: Coupons!

Pete: My wife!

Sharon:.... I want to change my answer.

[spankmespence]

SOMEONE SAID ROOSMAV ISNT EVEN THAT BAD?? ARE WE FORGETTING THAT MAVERICK HAS KNOWN BRADLEY SINCE HE WAS AT LEAST 4 (& presumably younger) AND THAT MAVERICK PRACTICALLY IF NOT LITERALLY ADOPTED BRADLEY MAKING HIM HIS FATHER.

[whathappensin-vegas]

Macau: Uh, I think I got your lunch. *Holds up a note that reads: ‘I am very proud of you. Love, Vegas’*

Pete: Oh yeah. I didn’t think this was for me. *Holds up a note that reads: ‘Be good. For the love of God, Please be good.’*

[neitherabaron]

I think this might be the single best idea for a TV show I’ve ever read anywhere 🥲