whathappensin-vegas

[whathappensin-vegas]

Porsche: Your lover doesn't have the mental strength to caramelize onions.

Pete: Your lover thinks it takes 5-10 minutes to caramelize onions.

Arm: Who's fucking caramelizing onions? Have you sociopaths forgotten that apples exist?

Kinn: Do you think caramelizing onions is putting caramel on onions.

[whathappensin-vegas]

Porsche: Your lover doesn't have the mental strength to caramelize onions.

Pete: Your lover thinks it takes 5-10 minutes to caramelize onions.

Arm: Who's fucking caramelizing onions? Have you sociopaths forgotten that apples exist?

Kinn: Do you think caramelizing onions is putting caramel on onions.

[whathappensin-vegas]

Porsche: Your lover doesn't have the mental strength to caramelize onions.

Pete: Your lover thinks it takes 5-10 minutes to caramelize onions.

Arm: Who's fucking caramelizing onions? Have you sociopaths forgotten that apples exist?

Kinn: Do you think caramelizing onions is putting caramel on onions.

[whathappensin-vegas]

Porche: Why aren't there friend pick up lines? Pick up lines to make friends like-

Porche, to Pete: Hey, that's a cute outfit. You know where it would look better? On nobody else, because you're a beautiful individual.

Vegas, to Porsche: Be my friend or I'll set your entire family on fire.

Macau: There are two types of people.

[whathappensin-vegas]

*Casually in the Middle of a High Stakes/Dangerous Situation*

Porsche: How do you eat pickles?

Pete: What do you mean?

Porsche: I mean, there's a whole process. It's not like you can grab them from the jar with your hand, because it's cold and the juice burns if you have a cut, plus, it's pretty unsanitary. And you can't use a spoon because you'll have to scoop it out, and it'll be way too difficult to grab more than three or four without taking 10 minutes along with half the brine in the jar, even if it's one with holes.

Pete: Yeah, that's why you use a fork.

Porsche: Okay, sure, but what if you don't have one of the big ones clean? It's weird to use a small one. But there is always one of those smaller sharp knives clean.

Pete: But the straight edge doesn't really fit the cylindrical shape, and you have to make sure you don' t break it, it's too much work.

Porsche: It makes me feel like I deserve the pickles though. Like, "Yeah, I did it. That's right. Good job me." It's empowering. But even after that, it's not like you can use a bowl.

Pete: I get that, it's not ascetically pleasing.

Porsche: Exactly! And it looks weird if you don't entirely fill the bowl, but you also can't eat that many. My solution: Use a mug.

Pete: *Nods in agreement*

Big: That is all very interesting, BUT WE'RE TRYING NOT TO DIE RIGHT NOW! USE YOUR LIMITED ATTENTION SPANS AND FOCUS!

Porsche: Jeez, okay.

Pete: Quit yelling at us already.

[whathappensin-vegas]

Kim: Of course I have a lot of pent-up rage, you fool! I've been the same height since I was twelve!

[whathappensin-vegas]

Porsche: Small creatures are much more vicious because they have a smaller body to bottle up all their emotions.

Pol: Ridiculous. Give me some examples.

Arm: Wasps?

Pete: Terriers?

Tankhun: Vegas.

[whathappensin-vegas]

Pete: Khun Kinn... How do I begin to explain Khun Kinn?

Arm: Khun Kinn is flawless.

Pete: I hear his hair's insured for $10,000.

Arm: I hear he does car commercials... in Japan.

Pol: One time he punched me in the face... it was awesome.

[whathappensin-vegas]

Porsche, at Kinn: You're my significant other.

Kinn: Yeah I am!

Porsche, at Chay: You're my child.

Chay: Yes boss.

Porsche, at Kim: You're here?

Kim: Yeah hi

Porsche: anyways...

Porsche, at Pete: My bestie.

Pete: Naturally.

Porsche, Vegas: HA, GAY!

Vegas: Fuck you.

[whathappensin-vegas]

Kinn, looking at his watch: It has been 2 hours and sixteen minutes since I’ve been insulted.

Kinn: It’s been about 5 seconds since I’ve been assaulted, but let’s not talk about that.

[whathappensin-vegas]

Macau: Uh, I think I got your lunch. *Holds up a note that reads: ‘I am very proud of you. Love, Vegas’*

Pete: Oh yeah. I didn’t think this was for me. *Holds up a note that reads: ‘Be good. For the love of God, Please be good.’*

[whathappensin-vegas]

Pete: I have feelings for you.

Vegas: Why? What's wrong with you? Are you sure you're okay?

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Porsche: I’m sad.

Chay: Don’t be sad, because sad backwards is das.

Chay: And das not good.

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Porsche, looking through his clothes: Has anyone seen my top?

Khun: Kinn's in the kitchen.

[whathappensin-vegas]

Khun: So, are you two dating now?

Arm & Pol: Yes.

Khun: Why?

Pol: I happen to find Arm very appealing.

Khun: Yeah, I can understand that. I'm trying to figure out what's wrong with Arm

[whathappensin-vegas]

Macau: I’m Macau. I’m a student.

Vegas: I’m Vegas. I have a knife.

[whathappensin-vegas]

Chay: Tell me a little about yourself.

Kim: I'd rather not, I really like you.