samwichtime

[samwichtime]

[samwichtime]

[samwichtime]

if the heavens ever did squeak, she's the last true mouse piece

[samwichtime]

Helaena's prophecies: *Usually vague and hard to interpret*

Helaena's prophecy about Aemond: Aemond Targaryen will die in the Gods Eye on August 30th, 2024 at 6:33 p.m. Central Standard Time. It will be cloudy that day, with a 60% chance of rain.

[samwichtime]

[samwichtime]

The Office (2005 - 2013) New Girl (2011 - 2018) Fleabag (2016 - 2019) Friends (1994 - 2004) Brooklyn Nine-Nine (2013 - 2021) Happy Endings (2011 - 2013) Parks and Recreation (2009 - 2015) Modern Family (2009 - 2020) Ted Lasso (2020 - 2023)

[samwichtime]

TED LASSO 1.02 Biscuits

[samwichtime]

when exactly is uptown funk gon give it to me?

[samwichtime]

these are my 16 kids, pawn, pawn, pawn, pawn, pawn, pawn, pawn, pawn, rook, knight, bishop, queen, king, bishop, knight, and rook

[samwichtime]

so fucked up that spongebob squarepants is a children's show that can't feature alcohol because squidward would look right at home cuntily swirling a glass of red wine

[samwichtime]

was it casual when you went to jail for a crime i comitted ? was it casual when you told your girlfriend you were in love with me after you found out i died ? was it casual when you were burningly jealous when i kissed someone in class while acting ?

[samwichtime]

was it casual when you went to jail for a crime i comitted ? was it casual when you told your girlfriend you were in love with me after you found out i died ? was it casual when you were burningly jealous when i kissed someone in class while acting ?

[samwichtime]

imagine: you are chilling in front you your house getting high. along comes an old family friend who you last saw when you were six, you are now in your 50s. after a brief convo where he is kind of a dick to you, he’s like damn you’ve changed :/. and your like yeah bestie it’s been five decades why the fuck are you here. he leaves. later that night a shit ton of people show up and trash your house. just throw and absolute rager. halfway through the family friend from earlier shows up. he announces in full earshot of everyone that he wants you to come with him to rob a bank. you of course say wtf??? one of the people who broke into your house calls you a pussy. another person shoves you a contract which declares if you get shot robbing the bank they will not pay for your funeral. you pass out. when you wake up you find the contract on your table and your house almost completely back to normal. you stare at the contract for a moment and decide, fuck it this is just as a good a midlife crisis than anything.

this is what happened to bilbo baggins

[samwichtime]

It's wonderful how, with no warning and without even trying, we will randomly stumble across new favorite songs, new favorite artists, new favorite books, new favorite movies, new favorite games, new favorite shows, new favorite snacks, new passions, new hobbies, new interests, new favorite blogs and new favorite people. So when things are terrible, hold onto the fact that someday, possibly when you least expect it, you'll suddenly come across something wonderful!

[samwichtime]

MANIFEST

MANIFEST

[samwichtime]

i love the olympics. no need to get too invested in any one event or sport. i learn just enough about each to go "oooh!" when it looks like it goes good or "ooooh..." when it looks like it goes bad. i graze on them all at my leisure. it's like sports tapas.

[samwichtime]