#or persuade lae'zel to stay

[wildfairies]

velastra's ending... karlach died, lae'zel left, astarion ascended, gale died in act 1 after she cut his hand off, wyll broke his pact and fucked off, shadowheart killed her parents, raphael took over the hells, the emperor switched sides, and vel stabbed orpheus once they beat the netherbrain. but at least she overcame her dark urges!

[madforhoran]

tonight's hot takes

"persuading someone from doing something is a form of control, no matter if the thing they want to do is right or wrong" = Tav is apparently the next Cazador 2.0, evil controlling abuser

"Intoxication tends to drop inhibtions, and give a glimpse of the part of us that we tend to keep hidden. He wants power." = let's give an addict one more shot because they want it

"he doesn't have PTSD" = while literally having a debuff, racionalizing, disassociating post conversation with the prisoners

[alteredsilicone]

me, letting Wyll and Karlach go to Avernus to hunt devils: bye bye friends love you have a good time :) me, letting Lae'zel leave on a dragon to fight for the freedom of her people: if you love her let her go if you love her let her go if you love her let hero go (trying not to cry)

[meanbossart]

what was everyones endings in your du drow playthrough? like did they live happily ever after or did some of them parish from the narrative

-Lae'zel died in Act 1, DU drow slashed her throat after she tried to murder-suicide the camp out of fear of turning into a mindflayer.

-Gale sought out the crown. In the game's canon this means he immediately ascends to Godhood but in my personal narrative (I finished the game before the epilogue was out) he goes on to research it while having to flee Mystra's wrath by any means necessary for several years before anything can actually happen.

-Wyll broke his pact with Mizora. They also rescued his dad from the prisons after going down there and realizing he was still alive (despite her best efforts) this was mostly for rubbing-on-Mizora's-face purposes LOL

-Karlach died at the docks because of her engine after the brain was felled.

-Shadowheart sacrificed her parents and for a while travels alongside DU drow and Astarion, events from A Novel Experience proceed.

-Astarion killed Cazador, was persuaded not to ascend and freed both the seven thousand marks and his spawn siblings. Events from A Novel Experience proceed.

-Barcus got flung through the sky and died from rough-landing-itis.

-The gang sided with the mercenary duergar at Grymforge and killed Nere. The gnomes that didn't die remained enslaved to the duergar.

-They saved Arabella both at the tiefling grove and at the shadow-cursed lands.

-The rest of the gnomes at Moonrise Towers and the tieflings from the grove were never rescued, so I think that means they died. Zevlor was freed from his illithid tank and I'm sure he's dealing wonderfully with that information.

-Halsin stayed behind in Act 2 since they never rid the land of the curse. Good luck with that buddy!

-Jaheira came along into Act 3 because these guys need at least One adult present (and herself and DU drow loved bickering).

-They made an alliance with Gortash but didn't honor it, killing him at his tower later after disabling the steelwatch.

-Yenna was captured by Orin and died at Bhaal's temple.

-They killed Lorrokan AND Rolan and I'm sure Isobel and Aylin lived happily ever after.

-Raphael died, Hope survived.

-Minsc was rescued because mom said so. I'm sure he's out there Minsc-ing around right this moment.

-They betrayed the Emperor and freed Orpheus, who had to take on the task of becoming Ilithid himself.

-DU drow killed Orpheus.

EDIT: Nothing happened to Kagha because I didn't pursue her quest, I was mixing things up with another run of mine.

[mercurialmalcontent]

A few days ago I saw someone say in the comments of a post something like Baldur's Gate 3 doesn't have themes. I disagree; while its themes are mainly reinforced through individual major character stories and it's all warpped in the series premise of "if the god of Murder had a bunch of kids, would that be fucked up or what?", they are there.

The main one that comes to mind is a question -- can you find a way to be better than what your circumstances (often generational trauma) made you, or will you continue down the path they set?

We see this in all of the main companions. In Astarion, Shadowheart, and Lae'zel's questlines they face the choice to break a cycle of abuse and escape the lies of their past, or contiue with them for the promise of power and safety. Gale can choose to shed his hubris and accept himself as a person, or give into it and become a god, and thus the one thing he thinks he's good for -- his magic.

It's weaker for Wyll and unfortunately truncated, mostly cumulating in the choice to live for himself or stay shackled to Mizora, with the final touch of what he'll do with his life only happening if you do a mostly unrelated to him quest. Karlach's story fits but in a pretty convoluted way -- she's terminally ill and her most obvious attempt break free of the circumstances (killing the initial architect of her suffering) does nothing; escaping that road requires choices that either isolate her or turn her into something alien.

Anyway, moving on to the main antagonists. They display what happens if one doesn't choose to become better than their circumstances. Kethric has a hundred years of sunk cost fallacy and can only be persuaded to stop, not change course. Gortash has a desperation for control that can only get him killed. Orin is desperate for love and approval from a man who did monstrous things to her, and she breaks if you tell her the truth.

(The Emperor… doesn't really fit this, but whatever.)

This theme isn't really subtle, but it isn't necessarily well-reinforced by a story that has a ton of other stuff going on. It doesn't help that you can play as Just Some Guy who got wrapped up in the whole thing by pure circumstance (Tav, everyone except for arguably Shadowheart and Lae'zel), and that's what a lot of people go for. It is, however, extremely fucking obvious if you play what would have been the sole main character in a game set up like the previous installments -- The Dark Urge.

I figure Larian made the decision to allow for playing as someone unattached to the Bhaalspawn baggage because that seems to be their Thing in their other games, but it's also because The Dark Urge's content is pretty damn disturbing to a level that puts a lot of people off. It's much more graphic than in the previous games, and it's set -- that The Dark Urge did extremely gruesome shit in their past is an unescapable truth and integral to their story.

However, players who choose not to see that route end up not getting the major theme paraded in front of them and lit up with a big flashing marquee. They get some of it if they play as a companion, much less if they play as a Tav who is inherently a victim of circumstance and only has the baggage the player chooses to bring with them, but it is there in full force as a foundational premise of The Dark Urge's story, as foundational as The Dark Urge themself is to the the whole plot.

[judasiskariot]

💭What are your Headcanons after the events in Baldur’s Gate 3?💭

Thank you very much for the tag @yennefer-of-vengerbergs and @aristenfromwarsaw 💙💙💙

This time I'll do it for Jelayah again.

1. Who is your romance?

Astarion She would have been curious to explore other possibilities, but Jelayah is faithful and monogamous. Especially since she immediately noticed that it is important for Astarion to be in a sincere, serious monogamous relationship, even if he himself would not admit it. To focus on their relationship and his needs, emotional stability and above all security is the most important thing and especially more important than any other short-lived physical pleasures. But after the final battle, she suggested to Astarion that he should travel alone and see the world. He was locked up and tied up for so long, he should first experience the wonders of the world for himself and make up for what he had missed. He shouldn't immediately tie himself to the next person. He should become aware of his feelings, have the opportunity to really become aware of them and...if he realizes that he actually loves her, that it wasn't just due to the circumstances, then he could return to her.

2. Where do you live?

Jelayah has bought a house by the river in Baldur's Gate. Perfect for keeping an eye out for adventurers' quests and being reachable, but still far enough away from the hustle and bustle to relax. She has also bought a piece of forest in which the grown-up owlbear cub can live. Because in the city it was a safety risk for everyone involved as it grew. All hunters and foresters in the area have been checked to ensure that the owlbear lives there in peace and the forest is signposted accordingly. Jelayah visits the owlbear every day when she is not traveling on a job. And actually she would rather move to a hut in the nature near the owlbear, but... ...but she is staying in the city of Baldur's Gate because she is secretly still waiting for a certain pale elf to return to her. So that he can find her. And she might even wait forever...

3. Who always cleans up and decides on the furnishings?

Her house her stuff. Even though she likes to travel a lot, she still tries to make it comfortable. You have to feel good at home. It's an oasis. Maybe just before or after a trip it's sometimes a little chaotic, but then she turns it back into her feel-good paradise that everyone is welcome to come to. A chaiselongue on the terrace above the river to watch the sunset, dark wood and reds. But she would love to create something new together.

4. Which companions do you have the most contact with?

She wants to be in contact with anyone! And if there is a chance to visit the others, she does it! She has persuaded Lae'zel to stay anyway. She would have loved to see Wyll as Duke of Baldur's Gate, but he is in Avernus with Karlach and she misses them both terribly. She looks after Shadowheart and her parents, and can regularly visit Minsc and Jaheira in the city anyway.

5. Has a companion died or are you at odds?

You can't save everyone. But you can definitely save the companions! Nothing would ever happen to them!

6. Where is Scratch?

He's with her in her house, of course!!! (I don't know what Larian was thinking!!! As if Tav would give away the cub and Scratch!?!?!?!?!) He is waiting with her for Master Astarion to come back one day maybe. Maybe they are both the same in that way...

7. What is your next adventure?

Whatever the notice board and the next client have to offer! Whatever comes next...she is ready! But Jelayah only takes on the jobs that she likes. She doesn't need the thrill and she also likes just being at home with Scratch or enjoying nature in the forest with the owlbear. A balanced life.

I tag: @anacdoce and @medra-gonbites

I don't know if you already done this one

[loquaciousquark]

Finished the Astarion origin run, got my Honour mode achievement, and have enabled my gold dice.

That said, and despite some very funny things that happened over the course of the run, I really did not enjoy playing as Astarion and don't think I'll be running any other origins anytime soon.

It didn't just feel like I wasn't playing with Tav, it hardly felt like I was playing with Astarion. As a companion he's richly developed, with a beautifully crafted arc and frequent colorful commentary and viciously strong opinions on just about everything Tav does. He grows and changes based on the events of the game and reacts to moments of doubt with fear or courage, depending on where in the plot you are.

Origin Astarion is almost as much a blank slate as Tav, with nearly all of that wonderful color stripped out. Aside from a handful of unique scenes (most notably a nightmare in Act 1 leading into the first bite), everything else happens exactly as it does to Tav, and there's no little voice in the back of your head informing your characterization. No notes on the Araj encounter like, "You fear being touched. Even now it brings up a sense of fear, loathing. Is it worth it to sacrifice your body, to bite this drow, for a potion?" No clear suggestions during your romance that you might have hangups about having spent two hundred years using your body to lure people to their deaths over and over, nothing suggesting outright that you might have some hesitation to engage in sex. Just a dialogue option here and there, one of four, that allows for that choice, if you choose to even think about it in the first place.

Even worse, things like the drow scene--which, in a Tav run, is a moment of great fear and uncertainty for him transformed into a moment of defiance & strength, a pivotal point in his characterization--has been revamped, if you'll pardon the pun. Araj is deferent and polite to origin Astarion, not assumptive and proprietary. She formally requests the bite and is gracious when you say no, and in-universe I couldn't find a single reason for him to be offended or to decline. You don't even find out her blood smells/tastes bad until you bite her; there's no forewarning, no choice, no crisis of exchanging your body for power. No companion steps in and says "you don't have to do this if you don't want to." Tav isn't there to support his first "no" in two hundred years. It's just a transactional offer, no harm no foul, and all the weight of it is yanked away.

It really felt like there was no guidance. All the strong opinions that made Astarion Astarion had been stripped out, and you really could shape him however you wanted, without much input from the narrator or his own history.

I tried my best to stay true to what I thought Astarion would do in each moment, and it turns out without someone (Tav or anyone) checking in on him and occasionally holding him back, he became this hedonistic possessive creature who slept with everyone and loved no one at all, not even himself. Tav wasn't around to make him feel safe, so he took power until he made himself safe. Tav wasn't around to suggest sex could be anything but physical, so he engaged in its physical transaction whenever he could to make sure he had everyone as hooked as possible. It didn't matter the trail of hurt people he left behind him. Nobody bothered to tell him he didn't have to sell his body for a potion. Nobody bothered to tell him they wanted to be with him with or without sex, and after two hundred years, old habits died hard.

Lae'zel - slept with immediately, but after the bruised "everything hurts" feeling the morning after, he decided not to pursue it. Successfully persuaded her to stick around after siding with the Emperor and letting him assimilate Orpheus, not because he really cared if she stayed but because he didn't want to have to expend the energy to fight her.

Gale - had sex with him in the Weave, then broke up with him. He became the God of Ambition at Astarion's encouragement. Probably the most hurt by Astarion's inability to love. As delighted as Astarion was by Gale conjuring up towers and libraries for him, I think for all Astarion's sexual experience he wasn't able to get his footing in the Weave, especially when Gale started growing extra arms and heads. He was put off enough by not having control of the sex that he never wanted to repeat it, and Gale was totally heartbroken.

Wyll - danced with him and kissed him, but broke up with him immediately when he stated he preferred a long courtship & old-fashioned romance. Encouraged Wyll to take as much power as possible, leading to him becoming Grand Duke.

Karlach - flirted with her the whole first and second acts, and for a long time I thought having to actually get to know her as a person and remember her likes & dislikes--actual facts about her outside of her sexual preferences--might finally teach Astarion how to let someone into his heart. Except then, thanks to a series of unfortunate cutscene priorities in late Act 2, other people's romances came first all in a row, and by the time Karlach's night finally triggered, he'd already made his way through Gale, Wyll, and two very tense scenes with Tavish-Emperor, and he'd hardened his heart again after hurting all three of them. Karlach ended up being endgame romance in that he went to Avernus with her, but I don't think he felt anything more than a possessive affection for her by the end. The dialogue option I picked even reflected that; it wasn't the "I know you're afraid to be alone, and this time it'll be different because I'll be with you" choice, it was the "I refuse to allow you to die. Get up and let's go" choice. Unfortunate.

Tavish-Emperor - slept with, and sided with in the final battle. She assimilated Orpheus and ran off into the city, so Lae'zel didn't even get her dragons.

Halsin - slept with regularly, much to Karlach's unhappiness. No real affection here, just a release of tension and I think a very selfish assurance to himself that Karlach didn't "own" him just because she loved him, that he was still free to do whatever he wanted.

Minthara - propositioned him, but because saying yes would have permanent consequences with Karlach, he declined. Again, not because he really cared about hurting Karlach at this point, but because it would get too messy and dramatic afterwards if he didn't.

Shadowheart - did not engage with romantically and ended up catty BFFs, which I honestly found such a relief. She saved Nightsong (mostly because Astarion couldn't be bothered to intervene) and moted her parents. :(

This Astarion also ascended, because that's what his search for power culminated in, and again, there was no one saying "my guy, I love you for who you are right now. You don't have to do this. Not because it would be sad to kill all those people, but because I'd be sad if you became something else." I hated that cutscene the first time I recorded it for the Astarion Supercut and I hated watching it again now as the Astarion origin. I won't be letting that happen again.

Anyway. I know I was in control of the character and could have made different choices, but I was really trying to play him as I thought he would react in those moments, and I didn't care for the outcome at all. I felt like I'd lost almost two whole characters this run, and even with as much as I really like Minthara, I'll be going back to my tried and true (and very much missed) Tavish as a palate cleanser in the next few days.

[bhaalbaaby]

kinktober day 3

orgasm denial, pet play, spanking

would the companions be into it and why?

gale would be into orgasm denial, but he generally likes to be edged. he likes feeling the pressure build up and tries to stay there as long as he can. if he can make tav feel the same way at the same time, prolonging their pleasure for as long as they can, he would never stop trying to recreate it again and again. he would be into pet play too, as a cute pup or bunny 👀 lots of petting and praise for him and sitting in your lap. i don't think he'd be into spanking however.

wyll would be into orgasm denial but for his partner. he'd think getting you all worked up and making you wait for that release, your body on the verge of overstimulation, is the sweetest you look. pet play is not his thing because it reminds him of mizora. he likes spanking during sex like if you're riding him or during doggy, but not as a whole action. feels juvenile to him when it's separated from any other activity.

lae'zel is definitely into orgasm denial on both sides. she believes that she will be able to prevail against your torture and that you won't be able to handle yourself against her. pet play is also not for her as she thinks roleplay would be a waste of time. she can be persuaded, but it would be rather light pet play. no pet names! lae'zel would be similar to wyll on spanking. it is fine during sex, but anytime after wouldn't be something she'd be into. she would not want to try it either.

shadowheart would like to be in charge of your orgasm denial. She wouldn't really like it herself, but she'd at least try it. Similar to Christian repression for these feelings, she'd probably cite Shar as why she's good at it anyway for herself. pet play is something she'd probably enjoy on both sides. she wouldn't go like all the way in with a tail, but kitten ears and a collar. she'd want cuddles and pets and to be treated like a princess of course. for tav, she'd be a dommy mommy tbh and like to walk her pets around for humiliation asking for the others to treat tav as an animal (perks for a druid). she'd also like to give spankings, not necessarily receive them.

karlach wouldn't like her orgasm being denied. she's been celibate for 10+ years and now that she can touch people, she wants to let loose whenever she can. meaning don't make her hold back. i don't think she'd be into pet play either for similar reasons to wyll but with zariel. she also wouldn't like spanking either. pain during sex would not be her thing.

astarion would only be into orgasm denial if it's only if it's his partner. he's similar to wyll in liking watching how worked up his partner can get, but gets pleasure out of the fact that they're "suffering" from being edged and teased. if tav is into pet play then he'd try it. i don't think he'd be a pet himself, but he could be a good owner eventually. lots of sarcastic praise at first with "good tav" and headpets. he would be into spanking with again him in control especially tying it in with pet play and "bad tav." ascended would definitely play into this.

halsin wouldn't want to deny you of any pleasure. he definitely knows about orgasm denial and knows how to get you there and keep you in that space, but he would never want you to hold it back. he thinks pet play is silly as a druid himself. if tav is into it and likes to be an owner, he'd switch to the animal they want him to be for the cuddles. only the bear is when he would stay as that shape however. the other way around, he would indulge tav and be a very sweet owner. similar to wyll and lae'zel, he would not be into spanking as a lone activity.

minthara would definitely deny your orgasm, but to the most extreme, meaning she will get you all the way there and keep you there and then tell you to go do something else. she would be similar to shadowheart with her owner tendencies for pet play, leaning into the humiliation in front of others. spanking would be her bread and butter. don't mess up counting them out loud because she will start from the beginning until your skin is raw and you're begging for mercy.

gortash would love to deny your orgasm. he'd see it as test of your will and if you will obey him and ignore your body's desire. he'd reward you either way if you do give in to what your body says, but the reward is much better if you maintain for longer. i don't think he'd necessarily be into pet play with a specific pet like pup/kitten/etc. the overall theme would interest him, especially if he can yank on your collar if you're being too defiant. he also would love spanking and using that as a tool for your compliance.

ketheric would like to be edged, but he would not want to feel the release because he thinks he doesn't deserve it deep down and getting to the precipice would be just enough for him. he'd be similar to gortash with the overall theme of pet play and being your owner, making you wait on your knees for when he would need you next. spanking would also be used similarly to gortash as well, but more intimate with ketheric.

orin loves orgasm denial and specifically doing it in your image and making exaggerated expressions for the uncanny time. pet play would be fun for her similarly to minthara and shadowheart for the humiliation aspect and so would spanking though she would find both not as fun as more harsher acts.

[tavyliasin]

Disability Pride Essays - Lae'zel, Ableism, and More Neurodiversity

As we continue through Disability Pride Month, we reach the latest of the Origin characters to face my analysis microscope~

Lae’zel’s story is very much shaped by her upbringing. Her entire identity has been crafted by her people’s customs and culture, the Githyanki focus on strength and the need to win the fight against the Mindflayers taking precedence over absolutely everything else. But how does this tie into disability, you may be wondering? Well, we will be going over some heavier topics again today and in a fair amount of detail. The reliance on strength in a society to this degree can end up with ableism and eugenics, because in their single-minded pursuit of victory there is no room to care for the disabled in their community. We’re also going to take a look at some character traits from Lae’zel herself that some have mentioned feeling a connection to in terms of neurodiversity representation. So, with that in mind, let’s take a closer look at Lae’zel of Creche K’liir and what her story can tell us about disability and ableism in societal structures.

I just have to mention how odd it was that doing the GIF search for "Lae'zel" had so little of her and multiple Kermit the Frog GIFs instead...ok back to the essay

What is Lae’zel’s Disability?

Lae’zel herself can be representative of some features of how autism can present in people. She shows a preference for clear rules that can be followed and structures that are ordered and logical. She also struggles to adapt to a sudden change in those same structures, when rules change or things do not match up to what she believed them to be, it can be hard for her to accept that. This was actually one I hadn’t picked up on myself yet until talking with a couple of people whilst doing a little more research on her character and story for writing this very piece, and it’s really interesting to see. There is also the potential for her to be injured and receive a permanent stat debuff from the Zaithisk in Act 1. This can also represent a permanent disability from a medical procedure, potentially even mirroring some more traumatic and outdated “treatments” that are no longer in use, or even some that are still used today that cause significant harm and distress to autistic people. A lot more of what we’ll cover here is more about the society she was raised in and how this reflects her own views and attitudes, both towards herself and others.

How Do We See The Disability In The Game?

The autistic features mentioned in the previous section are more present in how Lae’zel is very single minded and certain about things, and how it takes a lot of evidence to persuade her that the systems she has trusted and relied upon for her entire life are not what she thought. Even with a lot of concern and evidence around the Zaithisk, it still takes multiple rounds of persuasion to get her to fight or leave the device before it does that long term damage if all the checks are failed and she stays inside. This same reliance on power structures and established rules and roles almost gets her killed again when we meet Vlaakith and face that particular truth. It’s a genuine struggle to accept that everything is not how it was supposed to be, that all those comfortable support structures are just…gone. It’s a lot for her to go through, and understandably it seems as if falling back on battle skills and strength bring Lae’zel the most comfort particularly in the beginning where she is living her worst nightmares - stuck in a strange land with the looming possibility of becoming everything she has fought against and feared since she was old enough to understand the world around her.   If we fail the Zaithisk checks and Lae’zel is hurt, we see that very clearly in the permanent debuff to her stats and abilities. There’s no undoing damage like that, and it will impact her for the rest of her life much in the way that an incident causing disability could.

How Does This Reflect Real Life?

Autism has a lot of very different ways that it can present in people and in how they experience it. There are plenty of autistic people who might feel like Lae’zel and her story don’t represent their life in any way at all, but there are at least a few who might well pick up on those connections and find comfort in them. Some autistic people do feel, like Lae’zel, that having a rigid structure is beneficial to them. They prefer to know where they stand, what the rules are, because it is much easier to have things laid out in black and white than to try and decipher it from wider context or trying to read in to people’s reactions and hidden motivations. Part of this can present in being very trusting - it is easier to believe that a person is only saying something because it is true, than to try and see past any lies or read between the lines if there’s a difficulty in doing so from the neurodiversity. Similarly, having a routine can also be very comforting to some autistic people. They know where they are meant to be, what they’re meant to be doing, and why. Change can be distressing and take a more time to cope with, whether this is a change of surroundings (like finding yourself in a whole new world), a change in routine (going from daily battles that are expected to having far less solid plans that keep changing), or a change in the established rules/reality (finding out that long held beliefs and facts were never true). It can also be very difficult to accept that a figure that was admired - possibly to the point of fixation - is not at all what they were supposed to be. Losing that person to look up to can feel like a huge shaking of someone’s foundations, especially if they have built their whole life and goals around doing what that person expects of them. This could be a parallel to a parental figure for an autistic person who has always trusted them, followed the given rules, but then feels a betrayal or a change from the expectations of that parent, or even finds out that the parent they admired has done something they strongly disagree with. Similarly it could be an idol, someone they look up to, who equally does something unpleasant. Like, perhaps, a famous author who wrote books that became a hyperfixation turning out to be deeply bigoted against certain communities. Hmm. I’m sure I’ve heard of something like that somewhere… The rest of the parallels to real life will come more from the society and raising than from Lae’zel herself, as in some routes she shows a lot of ability to grow and change past those ideals and find her own path. Even if it still has some of those same structures, she can come to accept the changes in her own way.

Githyanki Society and Eugenics

This one is quite heavy, but it’s so important to touch on. Before Githyanki are even born, they are judged. If an egg takes too long to hatch, it’s deemed weak and discarded or left to die. There’s little room for any weakness at all in Githyanki society, because they need every member to become strong enough to fight and win against the mindflayers, but this also means that at any stage of life they can forfeit their lives. Even as children they are encouraged to fight - sometimes even to the death - to ensure the survivors are strong. Old age doesn’t bring a peaceful retirement either, there’s only fight after fight to look forward to, and the most relaxing job you might end up with in Githyanki society is becoming a tutor to the younger generations. Which is hardly a peaceful role to take. The entire reliance on strength is such a parallel to eugenics - the theory that those who are disabled or “flawed” are not worthy of surviving, that if you do not provide anything to society that you do not have a place within it. It goes without saying that it’s deeply ableist and completely flawed as a concept. It goes against how even prehistoric human society worked - there is strong evidence that we took care of our wounded, elderly, and disabled. Naturally a fantasy universe is different, and there are of course some humans now who advocate for eugenics like not allowing disabled children to even be born…but that is wrong on every level. There is worth to life beyond what we are able to contribute to society. We also see this in the use of the Zaithisk - the Githyanki are almost all of the complete belief that the device will help them, will cure them of the mindflayer parasite, but the reality is that their leaders were never looking for a cure. The device is a euthanasia machine designed to pull everything of use from their mind and soul before killing them. It’s brutal, but it is just another example of ableism and eugenics in action. It is more efficient to the Githyanki to destroy any perceived weakness than it is to try to help. We can, to a degree, look at it objectively - they are taking away a risk that could very well put far too many lives at risk. They’re in some ways isolating a terminally ill patient before they can become contagious or harmful to others. Perhaps, in some ways, using the Zaithisk to prevent Ceremorphosis is akin to something like rabies, which is incurable once the first visible symptoms appear and can lead to the patient becoming desperate or suffering psychological symptoms that lead them to harming others, so the only option is to isolate them and try to reduce their suffering until the inevitable. 

Strength and Attitudes To Disability

Reliance on strength, and a tenacity to keep fighting, can be very beneficial to a society and lifestyle that are focused on an endless war and surviving it. Being able to push past pain and use every last ounce of that strength and courage can be the difference between life and death in a battle…but not everything is a battle, and that same determination can be genuinely detrimental long term. We can see this with Lae’zel being determined to endure the Zaithisk, until (if not convinced otherwise) she is permanently injured by it. But the same tenacity can also be detrimental in other ways, too, particularly when disability is involved. A lot of chronically ill people will easily be able to tell you that whilst an otherwise healthy person might be able to “push past it” and keep doing things when injured or sick with something short term (like doing housework when they have flu, or trying to work when they have an injury causing pain), this cannot work long term. If the condition doesn’t have an end, you cannot keep pushing through it. You can’t just force yourself to get better or be able to do what your body is unable to. Even if you manage one day, you’re making it worse for the days that follow, which will reduce what you can do overall. The best thing most people can do to manage chronic conditions is to pace themselves, ensure they’re working with and around their symptoms rather than against them. There’s a difficulty there to accept any weakness within an individual in Githyanki society - you have to be at your best every day, in every fight, or you might not live to see the next. Pride, honour, and tenacity - they are admirable traits, but might not be compatible with disability.

What We Can Learn From Lae’zel’s Story

I feel like we see the real downsides and brutality of a society that values only strengths and supports eugenics. Even from not helping eggs that take too long to hatch, they’re losing what could be valuable members of society. It’s a difficult one for most of us in the privileged position to be sat here reading (or writing) this piece to compare to real life, given the very real dangers and war that the Githyanki face are quite far removed from our daily experiences, but it is important to recognise that eugenics and ableism are still quite prevalent in our society. This can even come down to some screenings, or selective genetic testing in advanced IVF procedures that eliminate the natural possibility for children to be born with certain conditions and disabilities. Whilst on the surface this might seem “logical” or even “kind” to wish for children to be “healthy” and abled, but that really devalues the lives of disabled people in our society. Disabled people who have found value and worth in their lives, some of whom have contributed immensely to our society. Granted, not all disabled people will be able to change the world or reach lofty goals, but that doesn’t make their lives any less worthy - plenty of abled people do not have a list of incredible achievements either and we don’t suggest that they should never have been given a chance at life in the first place. And that really is what's vital about speaking out during Disability Pride Month.

How we talk to and about disabled people and our society's attitudes to disability can have a huge impact on those lives. We need to recognise the worth in life beyond what each individual can contribute, and know that a society with compassion, support, and care for all of its members is better and stronger overall.

[baldurspeen69420]

Hot Take Time: Lae'zel Addition

So I've been seeing an interesting take float around about Lae'zel's story arc. Not one I necessarily think is wrong, by the way, just one I personally disagree with somewhat.

Basically it goes along the lines of "When Lae'zel learns of the Gith prince, she just trades one blind devotion for another. She needs to be able to forge her own path and stay in Faerun."

Which I think can be a valid reading of her character and the story! It's just an interpretation I feel isn't taking into account all the context around this shift.

Lae'zel is so fucking proud of being a Githyanki. Her people are so important to her, not to mention her culture and the astral plane itself. It's a brutal world but one she's very much into. When she realizes Vlaakith's lies and tyranny over her race and discovers Orpheus, she says a line (paraphrasing heavily) about him being a leader to free the Gith and respect their skills and bodies. Autonomy, freedom for not just herself, but everything she loves.

And there's a time where Lae'zel believes she'll have to abandon her dream of holding a silver sword and riding a red dragon, that she'll never see her home plane again. It's something she's ready to leave behind but not without a lot of sadness. Something she feels Vlaakith took from her. But Orpheus gives her a chance to have this back, Voss grants her the sword she dreamed of wielding since she was a child, but for a greater cause than living and dying as Vlaakith's blade/sacrifice. She gets her chance back and I think there's something kind of beautiful about that.

In my file, Orpheus decided to become a Mindflayer and take on the ultimate sacrifice. At the end, he convinced my character of his misery in this new form and I helped him end his life. It was something he earnestly begged for, he didn't want to be condemned to a life in the shadows as the thing he hated most. I respected his wishes, and in turn, Orpheus gave Lae'zel his dragons and asked her to lead the revolution in his stead.

With this sacrifice in mind, with everything at stake, it just didn't feel right to persuade Lae'zel to stay on Faerun. I just don't see her character being content to leave that dream behind, to be able to live as a truly free person while her people suffer under Vlaakith AND hunted by Vlaakith's forces. How could Lae'zel ever be free when her people aren't?

So I guess ultimately the ending I got was kind of a best of both worlds situation. Lae'zel did get to forge her own path without just switching out figures of worship, in a way. She got to lead this incredible battle for the fate of her kind, and I just can't see her wanting it any other way. She got to rise up as a warrior and leader and I thought that was a really fitting end for her arc personally. Better than just being Orpheus' right hand or whatever would have happened had I become the Mindflayer in his place.

I just like to think she's having a blast in space right now, I dunno. She grew to love our lil patch of dirt, but it wasn't her true home. Maybe it can be someday when the fight is done, but the timing wasn't right.

[feywild-fool]

Gale

Shadowheart

Karlach

Wyll

Astarion

[pixeldiaries]

BG3 Honour Mode Act 1 Route

I am currently playing Honour Mode in Baldur's Gate 3 and I wanted to start adding notes/guides to help others through it if they need it. Honour Mode is the new difficulty in Baldur's Gate 3 that's just above Tactician, and you only get one save file. So if you TPK (total party kill) it really is game over.

I haven't completed it yet, but I'm finding it surprisingly not difficult. However, I did a lot of planning. The first act is supposedly the most difficult. I'll add and update with more encounters as I go along.

I'm playing a custom character (Tav), as a moon druid. This is a guide for a Good/neutral aligned run.

Continue reading for the Level 1 to 4 Guide. FULL SPOILERS ahead.

Nautiloid:

pick up all the cartilogenous chests in the first room

rescue US

Free Shadowheart

kill the cultist thralls (for XP), either use the console or fight them

loot everything (you will need the gold)

there is a pink nautiloid explody vat by Shadowheart. Pick this up.

prepare the Command spell on Shadowheart before the Cambion encounter. I replaced Shield of Faith.

drop the chests you picked up in the door way right before the last sphincter. If you can't move past them, neither can the extra cambions. This will buy you time to kill things and loot the place

collect all the nautiloid explosive vats and the void bulbs

use command on Commander Zhalk. Save your spell slots for command. If you can't get him to drop it, you will have to kill him for the sword.

if he drops it or if he is dead, loot the sword right away and beeline for the helm. Go into party view and MAKE SURE THIS SWORD IS IN TAV'S INVENTORY RIGHT AWAY (just in case you lose your companions at anypoint)

The Crash Site

Save Shadowheart

loot everything. You need at least one set of thieves tools. Disarm kit is a bonus.

skip the intellect devourers by scaling the cliffs on the right.

Save Gale

Save Lae'zel

go back to the ship and kill the Intellect Devourers (xp!)

go find the Harper chest by the beach where Astarion is hanging out

go get ganked by Astarion

get some rest if needed. Switch in Astarion.

go to the Ruined refectory

intimidate or persuade the bandits there. No one gets any cheese.

Do not go into the refectory here. Go around the back, find the hatch to the crypt

read the Book of the Dead to give you inspiration.

fight the dead monks

go get Withers.

go the other crypt and open the trapped sarcophagus. If you don't have a disarm kit, keep 3 of your party outside, position 1 by the sarcophagus, turn on Turn-Based mode, loot the sarcophagus and dash out before the trap goes off. It's a nice spear.

Important tips:

long rest when your health and spell slots are low. Try to be at every major encounter fully rested

loot everything. Find every chest. Sell everything. If you fail survival checks, start digging anyway. You need all the gold.

COLLECT ALL THE EXPLOSIVE things. Put them in your camp traveller chest but loot them. I don't care if you think Barrelmancy is an exploit, this is Honour Mode.

The Emerald Grove

get some rest if needed

kill the rest of the bandits in the refectory for XP. Remember to have an escape route if things go south.

Tip: you can use the door to block attacks, and this way you can concentrate on any enemies that ran into the room.

go to the Emerald Grove, help Aradin, Wyll and Zevlor fight the goblins

do all the Emerald grove stuff

add Wyll to your group

talk to Ethel. Do NOT tell her about your tadpole. She will stay at the Grove and everytime you long rest, her stock replenishes. Suggested purchases: health potions, elixir of hill giant strength

only use gold on potions. Resist the temptation to buy all the dyes like I do

talk to Kagha. DO NOT USE FRIENDS ON KAGHA. Unless you want to trigger the tiefling massacre.

rescue Arabella

talk to Nettie. Loot all the scripts in the library.

Go talk to Alfira. Tell her you will help her write her song, so you get proficiency with a musical instrument. It's a bonus if you don't have a bard in the group, but distracting people will be very helpful.

don't fight the harpies just yet

Go find Sazza and free her (she will make it easier to get past the a goblin checkpoint).

DO NOT GO OUT the Emerald grove. Take the passageway behind the prison, and kill the goblins there for XP. Make sure to keep Sazza hidden in the back.

before you heal/wakeup the unconscious halfling druid there, pickpocket him for a +1 Nature head piece.

get out of the secret passageway. Go scale the cliffs in front of the Emerald Gold entrance. At the top, loot a skeleton for a Guidance neckpiece.

find the spider hole and grab he spider egg sac.

continue down the road and talk to the Absolute cultists. This is important: Try not to fight them. Have them "get revenge" on the owlbear instead.

it's up to you if you want to use the tadpoles or not. Tadpole powers make things a bit easier, but not necessary. Personally I have been resisting them.

go get Scratch

DO NOT talk to the Absolute siblings yet. Wait until you are level 4 for the Owlbear encounter

Blighted Village/Waukeen's Rest

persuade the goblins in Blighted Village to let you pass without a fight.

Rescue Barcus Wroot. Gnomes can't fly well.

If you trigger a fight, focus fire on the head goblin Fezzerk first. Once his health is low, he will beg for his life instead.

Talk to the ogres if you are confident in your persuasion skills or if you are sure you can beat them. At level 3, it's doable but a bit more difficult. You will want to kill them for Lump's intellect headpiece, but you may want them to fight for you instead.

You can find the cellar in the Apothacary shop, loot all the potions and herbs there

optional but tricky depending on your rolls and positioning: go kill the skeletons and talk to the mirror. Go find the Necromancy of Thay. Tav should probably read the book.

head north out of Blighted Village

find an uncommon (green) dagger stuck in some roasting mystery meat.

interrupt the bugbear and ogre in love if you want. It will be a bit of a challenging fight at level 3.

Go below the bridge, to avoid the hyenas/gnolls

Go to the tollhouse and talk to the paladins. Do not fight them.

If you collected the nautiloid explosive vats like I told you to do in the Nautiloid ship, start decorating around the Paladins with them. Two of them beside his desk should do. Do not fight them.

Go get Karlach

go to Waukeen's rest and do all the quests there. You can visit the Zhentarim hideout but be careful, if you fail with the guy keeping guard, he will blow you up. I recommend maybe keeping someone waiting outside.

Goblin Camp/Shattered Sanctum

go talk to the goblins. You can walk around if you are able to persuade the goblins at the first checkpoint

go talk to Volo.

go talk to Crusher. "Persuade" him to kiss your foot. He will go away and sulk alone on the bridge to the entrance

go inside the Shattered Sanctum.

talk to Priestess Gut. She will wait for you in her chambers

Rescue Volo

Rescue Liam

optional: talk to the Priest of Loviatar, Abdirak and get beaten by him. You get a buff.

I do not recommend talking to Dror Ragzlin or Minthara at this point, or attempting to rescue Halsin. If the talks go bad, you will have to fight.

if you still need more XP, you can fight the newborn gnolls on the Risen Road. They should be easy, but be prepared to kill the hyena runner fast, or deal with gnoll adds.

with Lae'zel in your party, you can also visit the Githyanki patrol and talk to Voss. Convince Lae'zel to play along and tell Voss that we'll help them find the "weapon" they seek. You DO NOT want to fight this patrol. They will murder you.

at some point after all this you should hit Level 4.

Owlbear

go to the Owlbear cave and head inside with the siblings

I'd recommend opening the Selune chest first to get the neck piece

go fight the Owlbear. In Honour mode, the Owlbear legendary action is that she will summon her mate so now you get to fight TWO full grown owlbears with the same HP and abilitlies AND the cub.

the siblings will distract the 2nd owlbear ideally.

Stay by the creek, it's a narrow section and doesn't let the owlbears maneouver very well

focus fire one, then the other.

make sure to pick up the owlbear egg and don't kill the cub.

Tip:

always kill one at a time if you can. This will knock enemies off the board, less chances for them to attack you. Even at 1 HP, enemies can cause trouble.

At Level Four you should be ready for most of the more trickier fights. I would recommend being at Level 5 to kill the Spider Matriarch, but all the other boss encounters in the area should be manageable. I'll write up my strat guide for the next post.

[thetavolution]

Baldur's Gate 3 Companion!Tav Ask List

Paloma Silkflower

What if your Tav was a recruitable companion, instead of the main character?  (contains major spoilers for the game, and for some dark urge runs as well)

General

Where can your Tav be recruited?  Are they first encountered on the Nautiloid, or in the Nautiloid crash region?  Or are they not recruitable until a later act? The PC meets her on the Nautiloid. She's immediately over Shadowheart and Lae'zel's bullshit. She's hyper focused on getting out.

Do the other companions have special comments or reactions upon recruiting your Tav? She's a drow so some people has some pretty nasty stuff to say. Wyll, Gale, and Karlach are chill because that's who they are. No one trusts her at first because they assume she worships the Spider Queen. Over time, they realize they were wrong about her.

Does your Tav have any comments or advice when you recruit other companions? Shadowheart: "She proved herself back on the Nautiloid. She'll be useful to have at our side in battle." Astarion: "I'll be blunt. I don't trust Astarion as far as I can throw him, but I can deal with him." Gale: "I've never seen a wizard stuck in a rock before. I guess there's a first time for everything. I'd be lying if I said I didn't find him endearing though." Wyll: " It's nice to know that there are real life prince charmings in the world. It'll be an honor to fight by his side. Let's just hope he doesn't end up getting sidetracked trying to save a princess." Lae'zel: "Gith may be brutal, but they're also fearless. If she's on our side, we're in good company. But we better stay on her good side." Halsin: "I think everyone has been drooling over that man since he came to camp. I can't blame them. I wouldn't be against climbing Mount Halsin myself...." Karlach: "She's a firecracker, isn't she? She's a fantastic addition to our little team of freaks. It's been so long since I met someone who just radiates goodness. She's doing wonders for my heart." Minthara: "You don't expect me to be happy she's here, do you? You can't put a Lolth and Seldarine in a room together and hope for the best. (sighs) While I wish you hadn't recruited her, I'll get over it for the good of the team." If you have high approval, she'll add, "I trust your judgment above all else." Minsc: "I already love Boo so much. I'd keep Minsc around for for his sake alone. All jokes aside, it'll be an honor to fight alongside Minsc. He's a good man." Jaheira: "I'm afraid I've only recently learned of her exploits, but I'm thoroughly impressed. I have a lot I'd like to learn from her. We also need someone around who can bust our chops a little bit."

What sort of general actions raise or lower their approval? She has a soft spot for kids, especially orphans. If the PC is kind to children, they'll get approval points. She'll also be impressed if the PC can talk their way out of confrontations.

Are there any instances where your Tav can permanently leave the party, depending on player character actions? The PC can driver her off. It's not easy, but it can be done. If her approval rating is too low, she'll leave on her own. If you pick insulting options too often, she'll ditch you, too. She will not tolerate that kind of abuse.

Do they have any secrets that can be revealed?  What are the prerequisites for this secret coming to light? She's secretive about her past, but she can either be persuaded to confide in the PC or a future quest will reveal her secrets. It's mostly about her sister. (More on that in a bit.) I might expand on this idea more in the future. She's also a mom, but she keeps that a secret to protect her kids. If she trusts Tav enough, she'll tell them she has three.

Do they have their own personal quest that spans the course of the game?  Can it take different branching paths depending on the choices the Player Character makes? Her sister will make an appearance later on and you can choose to help her or not. Her sister, Lamia, is a criminal who is constantly getting into trouble. She's being chased by the authorities and you can choose to help her or let her get arrested. You could also possibly break Lamia out of prison later. Lamia will help in the final battle if you help her stay out of prison. If she goes to prison, she obviously will not be able to help.

What do they say when the Player Character asks them to stay in camp?  How about when the Player Character asks them to come adventuring again? Stay in camp: "Are you sure? You know, if you need me, you can call on me any time." To go adventuring again: "At the ready. I get worried about you when you go off without me." (Even if she's not romanced, she will say this platonically. She will either see the PC as a lover or a sibling.)

Does your Tav have any escalating conflicts with one of the other companions, like Lae’zel and Shadowheart’s knife-fight? Oh yeah, she and Minthara are at each other's throats. Minthara underestimates her and Paloma looks down her nose at Minthara. If the PC plays their cards right, they can get the two of them to tolerate each other. They might even eventually respect one another with the right choices. Or the PC can egg them on. It will lead to a fight and possibly a death, or just one of them leaving for good.

Are there any unique NPCs associated with your Tav that can show up during the course of the game? Paloma grew up in an orphanage called the Holy House of Nym. It's run by Ilmater clerics and the PC be able to meet the clerics who raised her. Paloma isn't particularly fond of many of the clerics. Note: Paloma is from an original story and I named the House of Nym before I knew anything about BG3. It having the same name as Nym Orlith was an accident. Lamia, a changeling rogue, grew up with Paloma at Nym and she's an optional NPC to interact with. She's like a sister to Paloma, but she's also an absolute disaster. You can choose to help Lamia escape from the authorities or leave her to her fate. Allie is a barbarian Dragonborn that Lamia pals around with. Allie is kind of a meathead who likes to spit acid on people. You can also decide to help her escape capture or let them both go to jail. If you help them, you can call on both of them for help whenever. Lamia would do anything for her sister. Paloma will be surprisingly understanding if you don't want to help them. If you do help them, you get a HUGE approval boost with Paloma. You won't get disapproval for not helping though. If you go to the babysitter's house, you can also meet her children, Orianna, Lucan, and Meriele. The babysitter has yet to be named.

Are there any moments in the game that trigger unique dialogue for your character? (Like Gale’s anecdote about the barfight after you save the goblin prisoner)  If you help any orphans, she might be tell the PC a story of her past. This is one of the potential ways for the PC to discover she was orphaned as a child. She can regale them with a story of her childhood. She'll also mention keeping her "little sister" out of trouble. If Ilmater is ever mentioned or read about in a book and the PC knows she's an orphan, she'll talk about how the orphanage she grew up in was run by Ilmatari. She has a complicated relationship with Ilmater worshippers. If Tav knows about her kids, she'll also talk about the shenanigans they get into. Gale will probably chime in because he relates to being a precocious kid. It'll be cute.

Story Specific

How does your Tav advise the player character when it comes to the Dream Visitor? She 100% doesn't trust them. "I don't know what to make of them, but I don't trust them. How do we know they actually have our best interest at heart?"

How do they advise the player character on Raphael? "Don't trust a devil. Nothing good can come of it. He can smell our desperation and he will prey on it."

How do they react to Astarion biting the Player Character? "I told you! Didn't I tell you? I knew there was something up with him. ...I don't actually care he's a vampire. It makes him kind of hotter, if I'm being honest. But the important part is I was right!"

How do they react to the Player Character letting Abdirak whip them? "So... can we take turns doing this, or is it a one time deal?"

How do they react to the Player Character taking their first tadpole power? "Gods... why would you do that? Are you trying to become a mind flayer?" She'd also check up on the PC to make sure they're okay. She'd be genuinely very worried about them and acting like a mother hen until she was convinced they were okay.

Will they stay with the Player Character regardless of siding with the goblins or the tieflings, or is it possible for them to leave the party permanently? If they side with the goblins, she'll leave. She can't help but feel for the tieflings, especially the kids. She also has no interest in rubbing elbows with goblins in general.

What can they be found doing at the tiefling/goblin party? She'd retreat to her tent to drink a glass of wine alone. She's not a big partier, but she'd be personable if you approach her.

Do they have comments on who the Player Character chooses to spend the night with?  She'd approve of anyone you bed, honestly. She knows she's traveling with a group of hotties. She'd have a very "Go you" reaction. She'd also ask for details later.

Do they have unique dialogue if the Player Character lets them die when they steal the Blood of Lathander? "I understand the appeal of the nice shiny sun cannon, but I stopped understanding at the part where you let it crush me! Gods, what were you thinking?" If you have high approval, she'll add, "You're lucky I like you so much. I forgive you." If you don't, you'll have more options to either apologize or antagonize her.

How do they react if the PC licks the dead spider in the Gauntlet of Shar? "Do not put stuff like that in your mouth. You're going to make yourself sick!" A second time: "No! Bad! Put it back!" Sometimes her dialogue will be redirected at another companion, "Have they done this before? You'd tell me if they did something like this before, right?"

What do they say if the PC tries to force them to go up on stage with Dribbles the Clown? 1: "I saw a clown in the Underdark once.... His corpse was used as a warning for any other clowns that dared come down." 2: "Do you really wish to see me up there? Or do you just have a thing for humiliation and didn't tell me?" 3: "Well... our friendship was nice while it lasted." / If romanced, "I hope you don't plan on trying to crawl into my bedroll tonight after this stunt."

Is it possible for your Tav to be kidnapped and replaced by Orin?  How is Orin's deception revealed?  How do they react to the PC rescuing them in the Temple of Bhaal? Yes, she can be. Orin would pick up on her trying to be a big sister/mom to everybody, but she'd 100% overplay it. She'd perform her like a really bad OOC fanfic of Paloma. She'd make her freak out that she couldn't protect "her babies" and the PC would be able to see through it. It'd be a lot like Halsin, but about protecting the group. When rescued, she'd be grateful. "Thank you. It's good to know I can always count on you. Now let's get out of here. It smells like someone died in here... Huh. I'm hearing myself say that and feeling very stupid."

How do they react to the PC either allowing Astarion to ascend or convincing him to spare the 7000 spawn? I think she'd be so heartbroken if he ascended. He grows on her and she wants to protect everyone. She just wants the best for her little crew. She'd tell the PC how sad she is Astarion ascended, but would still want him in her life. She would also be touched if Astarion spares the 7000 spawn, but worried out of her mind. She just doesn't want anyone to get hurt.

How does Tav react to the PC becoming a mind flayer?  Can they offer to become one themselves?  Does their reaction change if they’re romanced?  She wouldn't but only because of her kids. She can't become one because of them. She would be so sad if the PC becomes one, but she'd never leave their side. She'd take care of them and stay with them if romanced, no matter what.

How do they react when the Dark Urge first reveals their amnesia and murderous thoughts to them? She'd be scared, but she would be there for the PC. She's supportive and loving. She would have a suspicion of what's going on, but she'd keep it to herself until later.

How do they react to the Dark Urge killing Alfira? "Did you do this? Please... please, tell me this wasn't you. Gods, why? Why would you do this to her?" She'd still be suspicious she knows that the Dark Urge is a Bhaalspawn, but she'd never say it. She'd just do everything she could to help the PC.

If romanced, how do they react to the Dark Urge trying to kill them in Act 2? When she first wakes: "Love...? Is everything alright? What's happening?" After being told what's happening: "You wouldn't be the first lover who tried to kill me, but I do wish it would stop happening... Whatever is happening to you, we'll get you through this." She would be supportive as always and protective. She would talk the PC through it and stay calm for them. She'd calmly and firmly ask for an explanation afterward.

Romance

Is your Tav a romanceable character?  Are there any specific requirements to romancing them? Yes, she is definitely romanceable. She'd pretend she's hard to get, but she is not.

Does your Tav need to be flirted with to start the romance, or will they approach the PC themselves if approval is high enough? In order to get things moving faster, the PC can flirt with her and let her know they're interested. If the PC gets her approval high enough, she will bring it up first. It just takes a little longer before she feels confident in making the first move.

Are they a polyamorous or a monogamous option? She's a poly option. She'll just ask the PC to communicate with her about their needs/wants.

Do they have a special romance scene at the tiefling/goblin party? If her approval is high, she'll flirt with the PC and make the first move. But the PC will also be able to ask her to spend the night with them. She'll take you into the woods to spend the night together.

Does the romance have different branching paths, or just one route to take? She would have a pretty straightforward path, even if you take a poly angle.

How do they react to the player character breaking up with them, or choosing another character over them? She'd be really upset about it, but trying to put on a brave face. She would try to act as if she doesn't care, but the PC definitely broke her heart. She'd also probably get in a jab at whoever the PC left her for... and immediately feel bad about saying it. She'd apologize for that. She would ask to stay friends.

What questions can Zethino ask the PC about Tav in the Love Test?  The heart is fraught, so let us begin with the joyous. When is Paloma happiest? A. When she's curled up in bed with some snacks and a good book. Or if Tav knows about her kids: When she's with her children. ★ B. In the Underdark. C. When she's with me. ★ (If romanced.) D. While fighting on the battlefield. Listen. Think. What is Paloma's greatest fear? A. Spiders. B. Letting everyone down. ★ C. The Underdark. D. Losing her children. ★ We often gaze through a veil of roses, but love accepts both the petal and the thorn. Paloma - what is her greatest flaw? A. She has a huge ego. B. She holds herself up to an impossible standard. ★ C. She's greedy and prioritizes money above everything. D. She spreads herself too thin. ★

If they’re poly, do they have a reaction to the PC engaging in a relationship with Halsin? She's into it. (In my play through, she's romancing Astarion and Halsin.) She'd hope he'd be down to let her join in.

How do they react if the PC has sex with Mizora? The Emperor?  Haarlep? She doesn't want to tell the PC what to do, but she'd disapprove of Mizora because of what she did to Wyll. It'd be less about the sex and more about who it was with. It might get her to leave the PC. She'd disapprove of the Emperor and Haarlep, but she would be empathetic toward the PC.

Will they join in with the PC and the Drow Twins, or no? She would! She'd love it.

What are Tav’s plans for the future?  Do they propose to the PC, or is marriage not something they’re interested in? She'd propose and there'd be an option for the PC to beat her to it. She's poly, but not against marriage. (She's also willing to be monogamous for someone she loves. It's not something she HAS to have.) As long as the PC accepts her children, she wants a future with them.

Free space! Share anything from your companion!Tav au! I'm actually planning on doing some VO shorts with Paloma, Lamia and Tessa. Just for fun! It'd also be some voice acting practice for me.

[crossdressingdeath]

Orpheus: it seems I can only fulfil one part of my destiny - my people will be liberated, but I cannot return to them. Not like this. You helped me destroy that abomination. Now help me destroy myself. You must kill me. But first, Lae'zel, I need your promise. Carry my hope, carry my burden. Call my dragons, Quulos and Quuthos, and ride to the Astral Sea. Destroy Vlaakith, release our people. Be our future and our legacy. Kyvir: You should do this, Lae'zel. Your people need you. Lae'zel: It will be done. I will never be free while my people are still bound by Vlaakith's chains. Orpheus: Enough talk - give me my freedom, freedom from this form. Kyvir: Kill him. Give him the honourable death he craves. Orpheus: Gith'ka tavkim krash'ht.

And now we kill Orpheus, as promised! I don't know if it's actually possible to not kill him, honestly; I can see this being one of those situations where if you say you won't kill him he immediately attacks you to force your hand. It's a shame you can't send him back to help his people without turning one of your buddies into a mind flayer, but... eh, honestly I trust Lae'zel to handle this more anyway. Although I'm not sure if I prefer this or persuading her to stay in Faerûn with the party... I kind of want to keep my friend around, you know? She does deserve dragons, though. She deserves dragons so much. It'd be nice if at the very least there was an option to leave the decision up to her instead of having to pick one or the other, though.

[killerpancakeburger]

Went after Lorozan or whatever tf is his name, the tower wizard, to meet with Rolan in my durge playthrough, and it was so heartbreaking.

If you don't persuade his siblings to stay in the Grove in Act 1 - something I did completely randomly!!! in my 1st playthrough bc I wanted to use the [Persuasion] checks -, they're considered dead. You don't meet him in Act 2. In Act 3 he doesn't recognize you. He's so numb and dead inside it's painful to watch. And worst of all, even after learning that the Nightsong is a person, he sides with Lorozan thing dude.

Rolan aside, I still kinda had fun cause I beat him way more easily this time and had my fighter Durge, Lae'zel and Karlach simply join Aylin in her "Hit them really hard with my weapon until they die" method and it was a lot of fun!! What a unit of a woman. Best women group in the game for me.

[spacemonkeysalsa]

Her Embrace, Her Tears

Multi-chaptered, fluff, angst, eventually smut

Lae'zel probably didn't need a good excuse, or further motivation, to go to war with Shar. But, she is about to get it anyway.

Five years post game, Dark Justiciar/Mother Superior/Chosen of Shar Shadowheart and (with a few notable exceptions) everyone got their bad endings, in that everyone is still alive, but shitty. Lae'zel is thriving though, aside from her relationship.

Read Chapter One on Ao3

Read Chapter Two on Ao3

Read Chapter Three on Ao3

Read Chapter Four on Ao3

or read Chapter Four below the cut

Even fundamental things had left her long ago. Do I sleep? Do I dream? Or am I just taken by visions in meditation.

Shadowheart knew that she needed to offer up a cherish memory tonight. It needed to be something that she had guarded in the past. Something that she didn’t want to part with. A true sacrifice.

The pain of loss would be momentary. Once she couldn’t recall what it was she had given up, how would it hurt her ever again? That was Shar’s grace, and sometimes even the idea of it couldn’t harm her, because that was also fundamental. She looked into the mirror, hand clenched at one side, and searched her own mind, for the right thoughts, the right moments. Her mind felt raw today, weeping, open wound. “Dark Lady, forgive me.”

That had been her refrain ever since she’d felt Shar’s displeasure and then that ominous lapse. That had happened before, she thought. Silence, to harrold shrieking.

In her mind’s eye, she recalled her first tentative moments of stolen intimacy with Lae’zel. Long before they knew one another well, before they’d touched one another. Shadowheart had told herself, at the time, that it was just a clever way to ensure that she had the ear of the woman who she perceived to be the stronger of the two leaders of their company. 

Lae’zel and Wyll had found one another on the nautiloid, and were already working on a planned escape when they freed Shadowheart from the coffin-like pod where she’d been bound. When their plan had actually been largely successful, in spite of the crash. Shadowheart hadn’t expected Lae’zel to offer up any deference to anyone else, sure that she would be as brash, violent and untrusting as all her people. Instead, Lae’zel had surprised her, both with her ability to cooperate, as well as her innate understanding of the need for other people, as help, if not as true companions.

She was brash, but shrewd. She knew not to bite when a bark would suffice.

She was violent, but more a tool of precision and practice than a blunt instrument. 

She didn’t trust them, in that she offered her own ideals and ideas as superior, but she did have a rather naive tendency to take everyone at their word. Shadowheart could never have said the same thing about Wyll. Between the two of them, the gith was going to be easier to influence, so that was what Shadowheart set about doing. Wyll could not be persuaded to leave the lands immediately surrounding the crash site easily, not while there was still unfinished business and leads that they hadn’t followed up on.

Lae’zel was eager to push on, but she could be persuaded to stay, and to seek out more promising options that didn’t involve a hike up a mountain and running for their lives from her kin.

And it was in those quiet moments between frantic, doomed searches for answers that Shadowheart set about trying to soften her heart, if only for the express purpose of manipulating her towards success.

But.

If she was very honest with herself, she knew the exact moment when she’d decided she actually liked Lae’zel.

Wyll had found Scratch out in the wilds, diligently keeping watch over the body of his courier master. To the shock of absolutely no one, Wyll was determined to have the dog join them, but then to the shock of everyone, Lae’zel was the one who took to the animal quickly, calling him a fine warhound and seeing to it that he was fed and properly outfitted for the dangerous journey. Lae’zel hadn’t exactly been secretive about it, but if Shadowheart hadn’t looked up from her prayers at exactly the right moment, she might have missed when Lae’zel tentatively approached the dog, barely schooling her enthusiasm, and their friendship began.

If a gith soldier who was entirely critical of everything that Faerun had to offer was open to finding something she actually liked on this ‘sad little mud pit’ then perhaps there was potential for her to be more than just a conveniently effective leader. At the time, Shadowheart told herself that since all were to come to the embrace of the Dark Lady, that necessarily included the githyanki, and that maybe she was just fulfilling Shar’s will by making an inroad into a heretofore inaccessible crop of souls.

Shadowheart grit her teeth, digging her fingers into her palms.

Worshipers. Not souls. 

She didn’t like to think of them in those terms. It was strange enough that her Soul Sight ability had become so sensitive and so… detailed. She’d always associated the ability to see the state of a person’s soul with devils and the like. For, what was the purpose if not to discern who was ripe for corruption? Shar wasn’t corrupting souls. She was unburdening them, in the only true way, that one could become unburdened.

The souls of gith were strange things, often pocked with the same kinds of shadows as followers of other deities like Talos or Tiamat, but rarely the depths and voids of Shar’s condescension. Shadowheart couldn’t see souls at the time, so she didn’t know for certain what Lae’zel’s had been like when they met, but she could guess.

By the time Shadowheart had proposed that the two of them share a bottle of wine and get to know each other a little better, she genuinely liked her, and was pleased to have a little time to enjoy her company as she proceeded with her Dark Lady’s sanctioned plan to better endear herself to the gith. Again, Lae’zel surprised her. She was always doing that, in the early days. She could be so soft, especially when it was just the two of them, especially when Shadowheart tried a little softness herself. She remembered thinking that Lae’zel seemed nervous, and then she wondered how old she was, and whether or not she had a great deal of experience with these kinds of interactions. With intimacy, not just in a physical sense, but moreso the clumsy, awkward exchanges that usually preceded it.

She remembered, privately confessing to herself that she liked her. A lot. Lae’zel was beautiful, intelligent, oddly funny, insightful in a way that could be quite dangerous, and dangerous in a way that made Shadowheart feel safe, once she raised that sword in her defense. She was also so passionate, nearly theatrical when you got her started on something she cared about. By the time Shadowheart plucked up the courage to kiss her, she was too intent on instead engineering the situation so that Lae’zel would kiss her first.

It had taken longer than she wanted, and in that anticipation, Shadowheart gathered up all her emotions. All her errant guilty thoughts about how much she genuinely liked her, and whether or not that meant she shouldn’t pursue it. All of it swirled within her, and she looked into the mirror and breathed in and out an offering. That would be the last of it.

Gone. And she’d never know what she lost.

Not really.

Shadowheart felt the relief and the release of being separated from something that had been balling her up, making every muscle in her body feel tense in a painful way.

She could rest now. She was careful to start moving again, knowing from experience that walking away from the mirror of loss could be disorienting. But, as she turned, it wasn’t the temple around her that greeted her, but a void. In the quiet, she heard herself gasp, but with a slow inhale and exhale, she calmed, and waited for her lady to make herself known.

“You are forgiven.”

Shadowheart opened her mouth to thank her, and praise her, but Shar was not in the habit of speaking to her over such trivial matters as… whatever it was she’d been forgiven of, whatever she’d done wrong this time. So, it shouldn’t have surprised her when the Dark Lady continued to speak. “You nearly came within breathing distance of another of my Chosen today.”

Shaowheart’s heart slammed into her ribs. “My Lady?”

“Your place as the head of my church is to usher all forward, including the youngest. Those in need of the most guidance. I believe you are ready to take on the task of molding this one to better serve my purposes as they grow.”

“As I was once molded, I will gladly do thy will,” Shadowheart’s response was a little shaken. She hadn’t prepared for this. She’d known that it was likely to happen, one day. Intelligently, she understood that Shar must’ve had this conversation with someone about her once. But, she had been very young at the time. How young was this one?

“The golden-skinned child of gith. Find them, and bring them home.”

Shadowheart recalled the moment, and how the pain in her hand had sharpened to such a scream. Was it only Shar trying to get her attention? Perhaps her error hadn’t been so great, but no, she dismissed that idea. No need to absolve herself of both the transgression and the forgiveness, not when her lady offered it so freely. The child was the focus now. Move on, unburdened.

“You will train and teach them in the same ways as you were once trained and taught. I will nurture them. I will guide you. This child will be mine, always, but you will care for them as a nursemaid, while I will be mother.”

“I am honored to be given such an important task.”

“An important calling, and one for which there can be no mistake, no misstep, and no mercy. I will whisper each word you should say and lead your feet that you may walk this path as I desire. The child is not a trifle, just as you were not. My Chosen are to be treated with the utmost care.”

Shadowheart felt the void around her recede, and found herself back in the temple, alone, cold, heart hammering. 

No further instruction could comfort her. She had her mission. Get the child.

Who were they? Where did they come from? What were they doing at Astarion’s palace?

She hoped she’d find the answers to these questions in the course of completing the task, but she wasn’t going to count on it. Her only focus should be how to go about doing this.

By any means. But, surely, it would not take much. It would not take force. Astarion had said she could have anyone she wanted. Who was the child to him?

It wouldn’t matter, just as it shouldn’t have mattered that he apparently felt something for that silly girl. Shadowheart could not be tempted to respect these people or their little lives. Shar’s will was all that mattered. She would find a way. Any means necessarily.

But, with any luck, the means would be simple and reasonable.

As she headed to bed, she thought of Lae’zel, unbidden. What would she think about a gith child being raised in a Sharran enclave?

With any luck, Shadowheart would never find out.

My Chosen are to be treated with the utmost care.

Alone in her room, Shadowheart stripped down to her smallclothes and curled up on the bed. Her surroundings were prosaic and meant only as a means of maintaining privacy when she needed rest. Vaguely she wondered if her rooms had always been like this. Before she was Mother Superior, what space had she occupied? It was hard to recall. So many things were gone from her now.

My Chosen are to be treated with the utmost care.

Why did those words ring in her head like nothing else?

Why did they make her chest tense?

It didn’t matter.

Tomorrow, she had to go back, and find the child. She must treat them with the utmost care, as had been done for her, all those years ago.