#or more!! just watching one video tells it all
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inkskinned · 2 days ago
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you said you were stuck in a time loop, which was fine. i feel like late-stage capitalism has us all in a time loop, ammiright? you came barging in at 5:33. in the morning. i hadn't even processed the idea of coffee.
but you had this look of utter panic in your eyes. terror like the ocean. you grabbed my cheeks. im in a time loop.
i don't know why in movies the first reaction is to deny it. when someone is panicking like that, it's not appropriate to ask them to calm down. it didn't matter if i believed it, what mattered was that you believed it so much that it was consuming you.
so here we are. i pour you some of the dark roast. "you look like utter and entire hell," i say.
you push your fingers into your eyes. "you always say that."
i try to think of something funny to say that i wouldn't have said on previous time loops, but jokes don't land without the proper timing (lol). "remind me to think -"
"-yeah, of a joke that only works in the future. and before you say anything, i know you're pissed i just stole your punchline." you bolt the coffee, which is wild. it's very hot. you don't seem to notice.
i blow on mine to cool it down. i both am very pissed at you and also i can't see you in this amount of panic without wanting to help. but i'm also not really sure what we are, not since i saw you kiss her like that, no offense. it just was like, kind of rude when you knew i liked you.
and besides. i'm just like, barely a person. i write omegaverse fanfiction. i love the concept of a time loop, but what the fuck am i gonna do? send an alpha in there? i open my mouth.
you point at me. "you're about to ask why me. and then say some disparaging shit about yourself. i'm just a nerd who plays dnd or something. that self-own is slightly different each time." you sigh. "i know you think you can't really help me. i don't know who can help me. i only came to you because you fucking believe me." you check your watch, sigh, and throw your head back. you cover your eyes with one hand. "i've come here on 26 separate revolutions," you say. "you have believed me every time. and yeah, i have no idea how you fit into this but i just -" you sigh again. "i just like fucking talking to someone about it."
"do you need more cof-" i start, but you're already holding the empty cup out. i frown at it. "you're not getting any more until you promise not to bolt this one like an animal."
you laugh a little and sit up, pushing your hair out of your face. "okay, that's new dialogue. but to be fair to you, i'm not usually this rude. i'm still pretty new at all of this." you check your watch again. another sigh. i guess you're cruising for a personal best in the Sigh Olympics.
i almost tell you im not an NPC but i've played enough video games to know i'm very much an NPC. i pour you another cup. "so what happens in the loop?"
"really bad explosion." you mutter into the mug. you put your elbows on the table (rude) and bury your face in your arms like an angsty teenager. one hand floats up while you talk, because evidently you literally can't talk without your hands. "i have to save the day and there's this bomb and i have no bomb training and it keeps moving, you know."
"do i die?"
you peek up from your arms. "yeah. bigtime. you keep trying to run or stay or do anything and you always super die."
"oh."
"to be fair, like, everyone dies in it though.... so you're in good company."
i hate that you make me laugh. i hate that being around you always feels tingly and strange, this electric tension between us. something that is evidently (given how you stuck your tongue down a stranger's throat literally 3 days ago) (well. 3 for me) super one-sided. i take a sip of my coffee and close my eyes.
i die today, i guess. a little spark of panic starts at the top of my hands and starts whipping up my wrists.
"shit," you say. you look at your watch and jump to your feet. "i have to go. if i can come back, i will. i am still trying to figure out when is best to do everything, you know? the order of stuff. maybe morning isn't good for us."
i look up at you and think about how you keep kissing me in the back of my car and in alleyways and in the dark. and i can never fucking get a read on you. and i also think about how incredibly panicked you look. how broken. how long have you been doing this? "i don't want to die," i say.
you glance downwards. "well, you're not really dead, you'll come back in the loop."
"but i will have died." my hands are shaking. i am trying really hard to stay calm.
you push your hands through your hair again. "i really have to go. i will have this discussion with the next version of you, though. it is like, something i am thinking about."
"but i don't get a next version," i say. i don't really have the language for this, because i haven't had 26 tries with you. i only have my memories: you, a week ago. drunk and telling me you loved me in my ear. you, kissing her anyway. you, months ago, throwing up on my birthday, whispering to me i ruin everything i touch, always, over and over. please don't ask. i can't ever fucking have that be you.
i run my finger along the rim of the mug. "i don't want to die in this one."
you seem baffled by this. "i get that but - time will reset, you'll be fine, you won't even remember we talked about this."
"but i know now." i stand up too. "i have to live the rest of this day knowing i could die. knowing i probably am going to."
"you could always die, to be fair."
i feel my hands get out of control. "earlier, you said i always say a different insult about myself. what if you're just going through different parallel universes and those are all just different - but real - versions of myself? what if you're not in a time loop, you're in a fucking universe loop?"
"if it helps, i've wondered this too. also, you're hot in all of them. if that helps."
i point at you. "no flirting. i'm trying to figure out if i die today."
"who's flirting?" you catch my wild hands and give me that long, perfect smile. like we're in this together. "i won't let ya die." you check your watch and sigh again. "well. maybe not this time."
i grit my teeth. you are so not making quips at me while i try to explain the existential dread i'm having. "does the time loop reset if i fucking kill you?"
"honestly i don't know how long it continues after i die, because i just wake up. it could be that the loop goes until the explosion for everyone, and we're all in the loop, or it could be that when i die, the loop restarts. when i die i wake up, is all."
i pull away from you and stalk into the kitchen and start doing all 3 of my dishes. "okay, first, you know i was joking. and secondly, this is exactly my point. you don't know if this is just a parallel universe. maybe in the ones where you died, the explosion happened and nobody reset and it's just you travelling." i have to stop and push my heel into my eyeball. "... how often have you died?"
i look at you. you look at me. you give me this very sad, halfway smile and a little what can ya do shrug. something in that action seems so old and weary that i want to burst into tears.
"i have to go," you say. "really. for real. there's this family of five i save from getting into a car crash. and i know it's like oh but we're all gonna die in the explosion anyway, what's the point. and..." you shrug again. "it matters to me, is all. at least i saved them for now. at least i saved anything."
you pad over to me and wrap me in a tight hug. you always seem so tall against me. i feel your cheek rest against the top of my head for a moment. for a second, it's just us, and the space is warm, and my heart is a little broken hare.
you leave me there, and i stand in my stupid badly lit kitchen with my stupid mugs. i think about you. i start texting my mom that she needs to get out of the city, but it feels pointless.
i don't know what to do. tomorrow is the same day for you. but i have to prepare to die in my today.
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theanonymousninja247 · 1 day ago
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My reaction to this comic. I literally waited ALL day to come home from work to take this picture because this was just too real and raw for me not to be real myself to show how much it shook me
so face reveal sorta?
I can’t tell you how much closure I’ve received watching this 😪🙏🏼🫶🏼🧡
✨Note to self: Isolation is not the answer✨
This ended up way longer than I originally anticipated but I have no regrets, I also got carried away in one too many shots and regret none of it
Enjoy!
part1 | part2 | part3 | part 4 context: 1 / 2/ 3 / 4
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After calming down the two of them just sit down and talk about it, Oneion explains everything more calmly, all the messures his brothers have taken to prevent him going into Survival Mode along with the ways they've find out to snap him out or fully stop him
(From then on Sprout has a high voltage taser intalled on his prostethic, just in case)
This is pretty much it on my part for the whole OneOne-Toast fight aftermath situation! Ell did a thing with One and Poptart too!
I also have some more Sprout and Oneion doodles, they are not connected to this event but I might post them over the weekend
#*cracks knuckles*#time to get feral in the tags again because I have something’s to SAY#first things first#*clears throat* words will never be adequate enough to accept my true feelings in this matter so please accept my humble keyboard smash#heycbelxheudkchwuegfkcisvwmwifufiepbsgxnsvdhsjfhrvwidmchdushevwosichnrbsufndg#But on a more serious note#this was such a good and hard video to watch#for school I’m studying human development and relationships and one big thing we talk about is the power of attachment styles#You know you can actually tell which people have which attachment styles through the type of humor they use fun fact.#But that’s besides the point. The point is Oneion is showing strong symptoms of Avoidant Attachment Style#he says he’s trying to protect Sprout and Poptart which I 100% believe he is but he’s also trying to protect himself from hurt + heartbreak#Motto of the Avoidant Attatchment Style: I’ll hurt you first before you hurt me#Poptart over here leading out the charge and calling out Oneion for his unhealthy isolation is literally everything to me EVERYTHING#BECAUSE THATS HOW YOU SECURE RELATIONSHIPS: THROUGH CONNECTION#Doesn’t matter who you are#nobody is ever meant to do it all by ourselves. We are PEOPLE AKA multiple for a reason. We need each other#As someone who is been in recovery from unhealthy attachment styles for something + years this comic was very cathartic for me#because Poptart and Oneion conversation is LITERALLY two of my brain cells at war with each every. single. day. It’s…exhausting#So it meant the world to me to see closure like this because it kind of gave me hope for myself that hey maybe I can figure it out too#hope it’s ok that like I got emotionally attached to y’all’s characters.#But like…I can’t tell y’all how much I have healed being apart of the turtle family because y’all have taught me so much + I 🧡 U 4 it#just being jayus#serendipity247#slau crossover#2al#the besties#separated leo au#pretty random turtle thunks#doing this ugly and scared
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starryjake · 3 days ago
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thinking about toxic situationship!heeseung :(
you’re by far his favorite out of all the girls he fucks but he’s too cocky to let you know that. in the back of your mind, though, you know. you can’t imagine that he takes his other girls out for late night ramen or lets them sit on his lap and watch him play video games.
you can’t imagine he’s as gentle and sweet during aftercare with anyone else. in fact, you really hope he isn’t. you hope he kicks out all the other girls he sleeps with as soon as he’s done with them. you hope that he doesn’t let them spend the night like he does with you, even going as far as to make you breakfast or take you out the next day.
every time he’s with another girl, he can’t stop thinking about fucking annoying they are and can’t help himself from comparing them to you. he knows you would be so much better: better at sucking his dick, better at riding him, just your pussy in general was better.
he’d text you when he was hanging out with other girls, not even waiting for them to leave the room but doing it right next to them. he didn’t care if they could see, even when he was texting you about how bad they were and how he wished he were with you instead.
heeseung: this blows
y/n: whys that?
heeseung: bc she isn’t you baby
y/n: you could always leave and come over :)
heeseung: aww my girl wants me to ditch this chick and come fuck her instead? is that what you want, little princess?
y/n: fuck hee…please :(
he could not say no to you. 10 minutes later and he’s ditched the random girl he was with and was instead pounding you into your mattress, grunting loudly as you clenched around him.
“fuck yeah, baby,” he moaned, hips drilling into you. “you’re such a good girl. so much fucking better than anyone else.”
and you took it so well, eating up every last word.
he also loved that you didn’t talk to any other guys. you just wanted him and only him so, so badly, and maybe if he did relationships, he would choose you to be his girlfriend. but, he didn’t date and he made sure you were aware of that from the start your situationship. but the point was, he loved that you were still loyal to him, not even wanting to talk to another guy because they just weren’t heeseung. no one did it like him.
no one ate you out until you were squirting everywhere and shaking like he did. no one fucked you until your eyes were rolling into the back of your head and drooling onto his sheets like he did. no one made you feel like passing out from intense pleasure like heeseung.
you liked him. you were probably in love with him. you hated knowing he saw other girls and he loved knowing it made you upset. he loved knowing that you liked him enough to get so jealous of other girls.
again, he would never tell you that he couldn’t give less of a shit about the other girls. in fact, he would purposely use them just to make you jealous, fucking them for the sole reason of knowing you would hate it. your jealousy was what got him off because it showed that you cared about him, that you wanted him all to yourself.
he thought about you every time he thrusted his cock inside another girl’s pussy. he thought about how much tighter you were than them. how much warmer, wetter, and more delicious you were.
heeseung liked you a lot too. he was also probably in love with you and he realized that when he was finishing on the tits of someone else and moaned out your name instead of theirs.
-
like sorry i just needed to get this off my chest bc heeseung is FUCKING WITH ME TODAY!!
anyway how are y’all? :3
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swampjawn · 2 days ago
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So I stitched together the rotating camera shot from episode 7 of Dandadan. Youuuuuu might have to zoom in a bit though.
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This sequence was almost completely anime-original, and it's a great example of why this episode took the show to a whole new level and made me sob into my iced cream.
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In no small part, thanks to Shuuto Enemoto (榎本柊斗) who was animation director, and for the first time (?!) did storyboards for this episode. Which is insane because, well, see above.
The manga only spends about 2 pages with the little girl, the anime really basks in this montage of beautifully mundane moments for a full two and a half minutes.
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Dandadan is at its best when it's drawing from cinematic influences and thinking about how a real camera could be used to tell its story. The simulated camera rotates slowly around the small apartment and tells the story of this girl and her mother's life together through simple, but touching scenes. This technique isn't as common as the dolly-zooms they've used a few times, but it reminded me of this sequence from "Hunt for the Wilderpeople" (2016) that makes brilliant use of its rotating camera and some cleverly placed body doubles to show the passage of time and development of the relationship between its two protagonists as they're hunted for weeks through the forests of New Zealand. (there was also a really cool and expertly choreographed one in the Showtime series "Kidding")
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And it all culminates in this cut where we rotate around a birthday cake and the warm glow from the candles brighten both of their faces. The enchanting, gliding camera movement puts us on the girl's level, and makes the cake look huge and wondrous.
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This type of sequence may not be technically difficult in the same ways as it is in live action (though I'm sure it does pose its own technical challenges in animation) but it' shows it's just such a brilliant way to portray this story.
And that's just one of many bits that took this episode above and beyond! I go into way more detail on the animation in this video. Go watch it.
youtube
(two videos in a week, who am I, XQC?)
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everpresence · 2 days ago
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I was wrong.
over the last few weeks, i started heavily questioning my beliefs.
i noticed that some of my desires came in faster than other desires. some of them (as you may see in my recent posts) took years to reflect, but some of them got reflected so fast at the speed of light.
i’ve been told by various people that there’s usually a time delay for desires to materialize in the 3D, and for some reason, it resonated with me. that’s why i mention it in my answers because i was merely basing it off of my own experiences with the law.
but something clicked for me recently. i watched a video by missy renee, about why people haven’t seen their manifestations for years. i’m just going to put it out there that you don’t need to pay for coaching. there are a lot of manifesting coaches that don’t know what they’re talking about, and when you read source, it’s a lot more telling. missy renee is not one of those coaches. she has read source and has even applied those teachings into her life. if i have to recommend a coach for you to watch, though, it would be her.
anyways, there was a line that she said that i immediately wrote down because it caused so much confusion in me. basically, she said that the reason why we have yet to see things come to pass is because we are still identifying with our old beliefs — our old story — and due to this, we become double-minded. this double-mindedness is then perceived as the “time delay.”
in that moment, i slowly leaned back in my chair. it was an “a-ha” moment for me, but it was also a little harrowing.
how long have i held myself back from just accepting that i am the person that i wanted to be? how long have i been limiting myself, telling myself the old story over and over again like a broken record? more importantly, i’ve been telling other people that there is such thing as a “time delay” because i decided that i should experience the delay.
so when i wrote a list and just allowed my higher self to figure it out, some of them came in so fucking fast at the speed of light. it stunned me. that’s when i realized that i was holding a false belief.
i never thought that i’d be writing an apology post, but here i am. i’m holding myself accountable because i was the one that wrote that there is such thing as a “time delay,” but in reality, there isn’t. sure, you don’t have to be pitch perfect with your beliefs, but when this desire has no conflict with your beliefs — when you have no resistance, when you aren’t arguing with yourself about whether you have it or not — then there’s no delay.
i remember some people said that it should not take more than thirty days, and i used to think that it’s bullshit, but now i can clearly see that there is a reason why they believe this. it’s not even about the length of time, but about how frequent you return to the state. it’s all about you accepting that the person you want to be is who you are now.
besides that, i want this post to be a reminder that everyone’s beliefs are constantly changing. there is always going to be expansion, growth, an inevitable withering of the old beliefs and the blossoming of new beliefs the more we learn about how this all works. this is why i want people to go back to reading source, to not always take everyone’s posts as “truth” or “the gospel” because we are all still learning in the end. learning never ends.
edit: i don't mean to say all this for you to start focusing on the physical reality as your primary reality. i still wholeheartedly believe that this is merely a reflection of your beliefs, and ultimately, it is all about who you are choosing to be right now despite what it looks like.
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sttrawberries · 3 days ago
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 ‘’ He couldn’t help smiling at your conversations, it was like he was back to a teenager nervously trying to talk to a crush, but he didn’t have a lot of experience with those.’’ babyy
‘’ What really made his stomach churn was when he couldn’t bring you to the airport to see him off. It felt wrong to leave your place without you behind him, leaving you to kiss only him goodbye, but not asking to follow him to the airport.’’ Maybe one day:(
‘’ and he was fighting to throw you on the next plane so you could watch him race.
Maybe a dramatic kiss after he won would be nice’’ *waiting patiently*
‘’ I saw that interview and I know that look in your eyes. I even commented on that video.” We just found the captain of our ship sksjssks
‘’ Dick’s gonna be jealous when I tell him you’re trying to get a flight back for love.” Kskdkssjs
‘’ “JayJay! JayJay!” Lian’s small shout catches Roy’s attention.’’ AWWWWWW
 ‘’She made small grabby hands before he immediately gave in to grab her underneath her arms, settling on his chest.’’ AAAAAAAA
‘’ While Jason patted Lian’s back soothingly, Roy watched as the two most important people in his life were embracing. It brought a smile to his face.’’ PLEASE MY HEART, this is the cutest thing!
‘’ He was given support.’’ I’m so happy, he deserves it
‘’ He looked like he was in his element, a kind of happiness that only sprouted in him from Formula 1.’’ :,)
‘’ You: Send me a picture of you in your gear’’ that’s how it starts huh
“Todd? How is that guy a threat? He just hides behind the RedBull emblem, but he’s nothing but another racer.”’ I present to you all my new enemy
‘’did you see how he crashed his vehicle last year? Bet he wouldn’t want that happening again, huh?’’ *no fears* *reads that line* *one fear*
‘’ (Handsome) Mr. Todd: please I am more than my body’’ dkskdlhdskj
‘’ but he walked in a different direction, away from the crowd.’’ Weird? I’m going to get paranoid
‘’ you could see the racer joining another man, adorned in a suit, turning his head sideways, but you couldn’t recognize who that was.’’ Postpone the race, I’m definitely paranoid
‘’ Jason’s voice faded as he yelled at Roy to back off from him.’’ Skjdsks
“I gotta race soon, but I just wanted to hear ya before I had to leave. God, I miss you.” AAAAAA
“I wanna fly you out here before then. I mean, I’ll be down for Vegas, but that’s too long. I gotta get you down here next to me.”  
“I’ll see what I can do about work leave, but maybe i’ll take a couple sick days?” YES PLEASE
‘’ I lo—”’’ I LOVE YOU???? JASON AAAAAAAAAAAA
‘’ There are numerous words that start with that sound. Maybe it was a mistake?’’ mmmm
“I was almost done—will you stop—Roy!” JJSJSJSJJS
‘’Roy was the only one who could compete with him on the track, so maybe his words weren’t just to instigate him.’’ Shh jsjsja
‘’ he wanted to see you and win while you were with him.’’ I can’t wait
ANDDD I'M FINALLY UP TO DATE WITH THE CHAPTERS, I'M SO EXCITED FOR WHAT'S ABOUT TO COME AND SLIGHTLY WORRIED ABOUT THAT WEIRD RACE GUY
Racing Hearts Pt. 5
Pairing: F1!Driver!JasonTodd x Reporter!Reader
A/N: sorry for the late late late update 😭 i was having so much problems with trying to enjoy this series again that I felt that if i rushed it it would ruin the series for not just me but a lot of people. Thank you for all the patience and i hope u enjoy this much needed chapter. ENJOY and flowers for all of u 😫💐 like if you’re comfortable and please tell me your thoughts as the story continues <3
Check out the Racing Hearts Masterlist!
Word Count: 1.9k (sorry but i’ll work my way up again 💪)
Jason finally had time to check his phone. He removed any miscellaneous notifications he forgot to silent before getting to the track this morning, but he was checking for a familiar name and icon.
It was like a little surge was invading his bones. He couldn’t help smiling at your conversations, it was like he was back to a teenager nervously trying to talk to a crush, but he didn’t have a lot of experience with those.
The times he rarely did have a fling, he kept it private, left it before it could be a scandal that he would be chewed out for.
But this.
This was new. He knew it was different when he was trying to get any attempt to still make sure you were fine with being with him.
What really made his stomach churn was when he couldn’t bring you to the airport to see him off. It felt wrong to leave your place without you behind him, leaving you to kiss only him goodbye, but not asking to follow him to the airport.
He tried to brush off the feeling the entire flight, but he couldn’t squish the thought that he wanted you here. That other than a quick romance, he could talk to you about his personal life, and he was fighting to throw you on the next plane so you could watch him race.
Maybe a dramatic kiss after he won would be nice. But, that was too cliché.
While deep in his thoughts, Roy tried to peak over Jason’s shoulder, trying to see what he was looking at, but it was not smart to try that on such a tall man. All he could manage to see was an open browser with plane flights.
“You tryna leave me here by myself?” Roy calmly asked, keeping his eyes down at the phone.
Jason frowned, not surprised at the nosey man.
“You get a little friend and now you want to leave me?” Roy feigned tears, placing his hands gently onto Jason’s shoulders. “If you must, then go! I can get us a championship. I can handle that for us.”
Jason sighed, closing his phone.
“Shouldn’t you be watching Lian? Why are you bothering me and what are you talking about?” He asked.
“Lian’s always with the crew, she’s more interested in the buttons than behind the wheel—don’t try to distract me, I’m not stupid, Jaybird. I knew you were a two timer.” Roy pointed an accusing finger into Jason’s face. “I saw that interview and I know that look in your eyes. I even commented on that video.”
“Uh, huh.” Jason ignored him and walked away, this time looking back at his phone to try to type, not reacting to Roy’s antics.
“I’m surprised your brothers haven’t bothered you about it. Dick’s gonna be jealous when I tell him you’re trying to get a flight back for love.” Roy aimlessly followed Jason, adjusting the cap on his head as he playfully wiggled his brows.
“That dickwad is probably too busy hiding behind a badge for that. He needs to find better things to do than bother me.” Jason stopped pacing, looking back at the red hair tail that can’t seem to get off him. “And you need to watch your daughter and also stop bothering me.”
“That’s what I’m here for.” Roy sung. “Just me and you on this track forever, plus Lian, never leaving each other while we embrace—with Lian, of course.” He opened his arms for a hug.
Jason gave Roy an impassive look, not bothered to even give him an expression.
Still with open arms and a smile on his face, Roy waited before a small voice shouted out.
“JayJay! JayJay!” Lian’s small shout catches Roy’s attention.
“My Lian!” Roy reached out to grab his daughter walking with one of the crew members, finally relieving them from their babysitting duty. “No Jaybird today, Lian, he’s trying to run away.” He cooed happily to his daughter as she laughed, large noise cancelling headphones were bouncing around her neck and a bright smile spread on her face as he booped her nose.
“I’m not—the flight isn’t for me.” Jason sighed, not willing to look at Roy fully in the eyes.
Roy’s eyes widened as he heard the admission. A small silence lingered.
Lian broke the pause by reaching out for Jason. She made small grabby hands before he immediately gave in to grab her underneath her arms, settling on his chest.
She whispered a small “JayJay” before laying her head down, exhausted from an hour of playing while Roy and Jason were busy racing in the practice sessions.
While Jason patted Lian’s back soothingly, Roy watched as the two most important people in his life were embracing. It brought a smile to his face.
“I’m happy for you, Jaybird.”
It was all that was said between the two as Lian closed her eyes, but Jason felt content. He was given support.
“I’m never afraid of the track, it’s the fastest you can ever be on the ground and I wanna be the best.” Jason spoke to the interviewer on your TV screen, the Australian sun surrounding his face.
“How important is this race for you?” The off-screen voice asked Jason.
“Every race is important. I’ve gotten RedBull multiple wins these past couple years and I want to add another one. I feel better than I’ve ever have.”
You sat on your couch, dinner in your lap, watching your partner on screen wave goodbye, giving one final dazzling smile while taking off to his car.
He looked like he was in his element, a kind of happiness that only sprouted in him from Formula 1. A kind of motivation used for racing.
“Welcome to another race of the Formula One World Championship. What a great weekend to continue a new season.” The introduction boomed from your TV, setting up the Sunday excitement, ready to end another race weekend.
Ding. Ding. Your phone notifications rung next to you as you took a bite of your dinner.
You: I told you to hold a peace sign to the camera, now you owe me dinner
(Handsome) Mr. Todd: *thumbs down your message*
You laugh at your phone screen.
You: Loser
(Handsome) Mr. Todd: *thumbs down your message*
You: Send me a picture of you in your gear
As you wait for the reply, your TV catches your attention. A driver you’ve never seen before now standing in front of the microphone.
“Todd? How is that guy a threat? He just hides behind the RedBull emblem, but he’s nothing but another racer.” The raspy voice sent a chill through you.
“Jason Todd is a back-to-back four-time World Champion, do you plan on breaking that streak?” The interviewer pressed on.
“Ha! Like that’s hard, did you see how he crashed his vehicle last year? Bet he wouldn’t want that happening again, huh?” The man’s voice twisted something in you.
Formula 1 did have it’s competitive moments, but how was someone like this rude man competing?
Ding.
(Handsome) Mr. Todd: please I am more than my body
Despite Jason’s words, a flattering picture of him came in. A good look at his hands and body in the RedBull uniform. Gosh, you missed him.
You saved the photo with a smile on your face. A new lock screen.
You: don’t injure that pretty face of yours <3
“Thank you for the interview, good luck on your race.” The interviewer finished up, stepping in front of the camera to replace the rude driver.
You glanced up to get one final look at the screen, watching the rude racer walk away, expecting him to get bombarded with another interviewer and a brand new set of cameras, but he walked in a different direction, away from the crowd.
You were confused at the racer breaking the long chain of interviews happening on race day.
At the very edge of the camera, you could see the racer joining another man, adorned in a suit, turning his head sideways, but you couldn’t recognize who that was.
You whipped out your laptop. Maybe you missed an upcoming rookie the last year or there must’ve been a change you missed in the racing industry.
Your mind buzzed remembering the blurry man putting his arm around the rookie racer before your ringtone shouted at you.
Life is a Highway started to play as Jason’s contact picture brightened on the screen, a nice side view picture of his smiling face when you took him out for dinner.
You quickly picked up.
“Hey Jay! How’s Australia?” You gleefully asked, contrasting glancing back and forth to the TV screen and your laptop before the camera changed to the racetrack, no longer seeing the mysterious men.
“It’s fun when Roy isn’t talking his ass off.” Jason’s voice faded as he yelled at Roy to back off from him. “I gotta race soon, but I just wanted to hear ya before I had to leave. God, I miss you.”
Your breath hitched hearing Jason be so direct. You tried to reason with yourself that it was from the adrenaline before the race, but it made you feel like you were floating off the couch.
“I miss you too. Maybe when you have a chance to get back here, we can go out to eat like we normally do.” You suggested, a little more brightness in your voice.
You watched the compilation of Jason’s previous races playing on the screen. You saw him zooming down the narrow lanes at horrifying speeds as you heard him softly speak to you through your phone.
“I wanna fly you out here before then. I mean, I’ll be down for Vegas, but that’s too long. I gotta get you down here next to me.” Jason’s voice smoothly went in and out of your ears.
Your felt yourself reddening at his delightful words to you.
“I’ll see what I can do about work leave, but maybe i’ll take a couple sick days?” You spoke to Jason, happiness surging through you. “I would really love to fly out there.”
A loud engine roared through your phone, cutting off Jason’s voice briefly.
“Shit, sorry about that, I gotta go. I lo—” Jason hesitated before he was about to end the call, following up by several louder engines revving, overshadowing his voice despite how close he was to the phone. “I, uh, I’ll call you later.”
“Stay safe, Jay.”
“Wouldn’t want it any other way.”
Beep.
The call clicked to end. No longer hearing the bustle around Jason as he was inching closer to his race.
Your heart beat rapidly in your ears as you continued to hold your phone in your hand despite the call ending moments ago.
You can’t assume.
There are numerous words that start with that sound. Maybe it was a mistake?
“What the fuck, Roy?” Jason yelled over Roy revving his engine multiple times. “I was almost done—will you stop—Roy!”
Roy lifted his foot, no longer making the obnoxious noise.
“Get your helmet on, we gotta go. If you win, then you can talk on the phone all ya want.” Roy was ready to pull onto the track. “Unless you want to stay on the phone and I can win this for us?”
Roy laughed as he sped off.
Jason sighed in disbelief as he walked back to get make sure the final checks on his car were done.
Roy was the only one who could compete with him on the track, so maybe his words weren’t just to instigate him.
He needed to focus because he wanted to see you and win while you were with him.
Jason put on his helmet, getting any last-minute safety precautions checked before he got the signal to drive out.
Tag List: @jaybirdstreet @kalzzen @meowkn @velvetberries @i0lovepink00 @rayaskoalaland @spidernuggets @janybabyy @deimks @yasmin-oviedo @bigraga-sk @indulgentdaydream @uhhellnogetoffpleasenowty @idontknowanythingsblog @xakilicious @livvyliv15 @whatsupstark @maxi-ride @kolmikaelsonslover
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astronicht · 23 hours ago
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I love the very subtle but important presences of bez and pecco in tavullia radio!! and also everything else about it obviously. would love to know if you had any more thoughts about like what they're doing thinking seeing feeling! the image of pecco running into freshly fucked and sucked marc at the espresso machine he can't use and making him a tiny coffee enchants and delights me. in my mind he is suffering horrors. thank you for such a perfect fic!!
thank you Leah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <3 <3 So in my head etc Pecco and Marc are already technically or already have been teammates. I was thinking as I wrote it "is this next month? or is this december after the 2025 season?" haha. Either way Pecco is like. In a phase of life where he has decided that he is professionally obligated to have some form of rapport with Marc. And if they've been working together for a bit, they awkwardly kind of already DO, just not. NOT in this setting. Always on neutral Ducati ground. THIS scenario (freshly fucked and sucked marc at vale's ranch, in pecco's friendly ranch kitchen, where he was NOT expecting visitors) is NOT part of this carefully polite professional rapport. Unlike the rest of the guys Pecco can't just grunt and shuffle past (he totally could have; Marc did not want to talk to anyone). He's forcing himself to try to be normal and thus extending everyone's suffering lol. They don't even dislike each other. This somehow makes it all worse.
Pecco made Marc a Turkish coffee instead of just getting out one of the 3-5 mokas kicking around because he has gotten into foodie youtube and Turkish coffee came up, and he carefully bought the correct little cup to boil it in and the correct finely ground coffee and he has like, watched videos on how to get the foam right. Very much your friend who gets really into foodie youtube and is suddenly making what you think of as simple staple dishes with all the right utensils and the correct dipping sauce that no one in ur family ever bothered with. He actually had come in to make a coffee for himself before practice (i think he's considering doing a little mentoring? which never interested him much. Marc appears in moments of Pecco identity or professional crisis, in this universe) so you have to picture Pecco out there somewhere with a little cup of Turkish coffee and haunted eyes, wondering if he can drink it.
Marc actually wanted tea, or to have the balls to wander around the ranch in boxer briefs and a t-shirt smelling violently like sex, but he saw the giant fuck-off luxury espresso machine and was like. the look of it annoyed him so he was definitely going to force it to work or just break it. a little bit his instinct to push at vale a little, to try to figure out where the lines are, or to know for sure that vale isn't going to snap over something normal again.
So that was the mood and then pecco came in and was like oh god. oh god he's going to touch the espresso machine and we'll have to have it repaired again. oh god we won't be able to tell vale that marc did it and we'll have to blame celestino again. Just polite Pecco voice being sooo normal like Hi Marc Would You Like A Coffee :) [intense suffering]. He is overcompensating and being as normal as possible bc marc looks fucked ouuuuut and also is doing the terrifying dead fish eyes and slight grin he does when in extreme physical pain and forced to converse, bc he's dissasociating and also does not care enough to make nice expressions for pecco. (Vale used to fuck himself to sleep despite insomnia -- like he just did -- all the time when Marc was 22 and the memory is a bit much.)
Bez meanwhile is having a total gay... crisis isn't the right word. ring of keys dot mp3. the particular egg-cracking feeling of seeing something you didn't know you desperately wanted until you want it violently and think you're gonna cry for no reason. seeing it is both horrifying (for the same reasons pecco is horrified; marc is fucking motorcycle dad) and makes him want so much it fills his mouth with spit, and that scale of desire is weird and confusing and almost a high. but also he LIKES having a grudge against Marc. It's comforting. It's so awful to be jealous of him, while also realizing he's not jealous that Marc is fucking Vale, because in the end Bez is also being forced to realize that he doesn't exactly want to fuck Vale (well, it's complex, but he doesn't want to fuck Vale like Marc wants to fuck Vale and thus Marc even managed to get a win over Bez by being gay in the way Bez would've liked to have been gay).
Anyway!! Bez got wronged in this fic, I don't want to assign him "italian son with sisters who never learned to make coffee". But i did do that. Also he feels twitchy and guilty about the falsely attributed coffee thing for days. Probably vents to Celestino, who is like "why are you talking about coffee bez i am at the club. did i break the espresso machine again bez?? i can't hear u maybe there's better signal on the roof [call dropped as cele's phone dies and isnt' charged for 3 days]"
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whousestypewriters · 2 days ago
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──── ୨ৎ THE BOOK CLUB — GRAYSON HAWTHORNE + READER ‧₊˚
a/n: pt two here we are!!! do i have any idea where this plot is going??? no. but you're along for the ride bitches so enjoy!! also if this is shit its bc im sleep deprived :)
[part one] i'm a fan
"it all happened so fast. everyone was happy... and then something happened... and now... now he's dead!" alya sobs from her spot on the couch.
"did you just spoil the book we're all reading together??" kira shrieks from her position on the mattress.
"i think the bitch actually just spoiled the entire book," pheobe rolls her eyes from underneath her blanket on the mattress next to kira's.
"oh come on you knew something like this was gonna happen!"
"yeah but i wasn't expecting it to be screamed aloud while i'm halfway through," kira says exasperated. "i mean please its not even five thirty yet, we got here an hour ago, how are you already finished?"
"alya, this is why we don't come over anymore," pheobe groans. "none of us were expecting that and now you've spoiled it."
"oh cry about it, i'm moving onto my next book anyway, does anyone want some snacks while i'm in the kitchen?" alya smiles nodding her head when kira requests some food and a bottle of water.
"so we're clearly never having a book club sleepover again guys," you say looking at the camera.
"no we're gonna have another," pheobe says shuffling over into the frame. "alya's just not invited."
────
yn.books
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liked by alya.green, maxine.liu.loo, pheobethereader, kirasbooknook, graysonhawthorne and 672, 983 others
yn.books the book girlies unite!! for a sleepover a trip and a readathon (alya will not be invited back) stay tuned for the yt video!
tagged: alya.green, pheobethereader, kirasbooknook
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alya.green I AM OFFENDED
kirasbooknook good
pheobethereader had a lovely time with you girls can't wait to do it again (except for you alya)
alya.green u guys are so mean wtf
user1 im desperate to know why alya's in trouble lmaooo
user2 and im desperate to know why grayson is still in the likes
user3 THE GIRLIES ARE IN TEXAS I SAW THEN TODAY AND ASKED FOR A PHOTO!!!!
user4 they're in texas you say 😏😏
user5 divine rivals crushed me oh my goshhhh
graysonhawthorne divine rivals was a enticing read, thank you for the recommendation.
user6 ok so i died-
user7 OH OH OK SO WTF WHO WAS GONNA TELL ME GRAYSON IS HERE???
maxine.liu.loo the book girlies are together again!!! (invite me next time)
yn.books already done ;)
────
"they're mine," max's voice snips through the quiet of the room. she's staring directly at grayson and clearly referring to the book girls she watches.
"i'm not trying to steal anyone," grayson tries to reassure her.
"you're obsessed with my favorite one! why couldn't you have gone for pheobe or kira?" max huffs, you were her favorite. grayson had no right to become - rightfully - infatuated with you, and no matter how much he tries to deny it everyone can see he likes you. its painfully obvious.
"again i'm not stealing anyone, i've interacted like three times with-"
"grayson! the girl you're obsessed with posted another youtube video," jameson's extremely loud voice cuts through the room and emits a groan from grayson.
"i'm not obsessed with anyone," he says rising from his spot on the couch and picking up ruthless vows, which by the way he definitely went out and bought after he read divine rivals. what? he wanted to know what happened.
"oh my gosh they're in texas!!!" max screeches clearly watching the video. "they're in texas for a red carpet that they've been invited to!" she pauses watching for more conext. "they been invited to ask the people on the red carpet about books! oh my god- XANDER. we have to go to this event oh my gosh please?"
"sure and you can bring grayson along so he can officially join the book club, and meet his new idol," jameson smirks from the doorway
grayson responds by flipping him off.
────
graysonhawthorne
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liked by thehawthorneheiress, ticking.time.bomb, yn.books, kirasbooknook and 4, 892, 647 others
graysonhawthorne a nice day out
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user1 i need him religiously
user2 NO BOOK THIS TIME???
user3 oh he is scrumptious isn't he
ticking.time.bomb i saw you obsessing over what photos to choose in case a certain someone saw this gray.....
user4 PLS TELL ME ITS WHO I THINK IT IS
thexanderhawthorne oh it is...
user4 OH MY GODDDD
user5 IN THE LIKES LOOK WHOS IN THE LIKES!!!!!!
user6 they're so into each other
alya.green we gotta catch up and talk about this whole situation buddy boy
user7 ALYA 😭💀
user8 i need him to go to the red carpet so they can meet!!!
────
maybe grayson should go to that red carpet... i mean he was invited. whats the worst that could happen?
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𐔌 . ⋮ 🏷️ tags .ᐟ ֹ ₊ ꒱
@arqbella, @midiosaamor, @maybxlle @reminiscentreader, @sweetreveriee
@elysianwayy77 @tornqdowarnings, @catapparently, @zenikswaffleshop, @thelov3lybookworm
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belbelcries · 3 days ago
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♡How to try and be productive when you are bedrotting♡
These are some tips and tricks that help me a lot, and I want to share them with all of you ♡
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We all know how hard living can get, especially when we have things that we must do but can't get ourselves to do them even if we really want to.
If you want to try to change that, keep on reading ♡
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Start by writing down what you have to do:
It might sound a bit dumb, but it helps you to visualize what you have to do! For this part, try not to write too many things so you don't end up overwhelming yourself.
If you need to keep yourself accountable, you can set reminders and/or tell a friend to ask you about it!
Start working little by little:
When I need to study something that works for me , I start slowly getting into the mood of studying to get the motivation!
For example: if I have the reading material on my tablet or phone, I start by just reading, not trying to highlight or learn anything, just read in the same way you are reading this now, and if it has any videos to go with I start by watching those!
During this time, you can use the ponodoro method and read for 10 minutes and have a 5 minutes break until you feel the spark of doing it for longer.
Once you feel that spark, you can try and start studying for real/do what you need to do.
Tip! Remember to always start from the easiest thing.
Slowly try to get out of bed:
I think that this might be a difficult one. When I want to get out of bed, I can't help myself to do it all at once. What I do is step by step. How does it work? Easy, first I try to sit on my bed and slowly moving myself so I'm sitting in the corner of the bed with my feet touching the floor, so finally, when I feel like it, I stand up. Of course, this takes some time, and it will vary from person to person.
Change clothes, do your bed or take a shower:
I find doing these things really helpful to set another mindset, one that says, "This is important, I have to do it." I know that it can be hard sometimes to do these daily things, so don't be so harsh on yourself if you can't do it!
Find something to motivate yourself:
It can be giving yourself time to do something that you really like, getting a drink after doing it, buying yourself a little something, basically giving yourself a little treat after accomplishing your task.
I like to buy something nice or make myself my fav tea or a coffee!
Don't be so harsh on yourself!!:
If you are already having a hard time trying to be productive, don't punish yourself even more!! I know that we all have self-destructive tendencies, but for this stuff, we gotta try to fight them!!
Try to give yourself some love in order to try to do your best, and by best, I don't mean a 100%, of the best you can do at that moment is a 50% or a 20% that's okey dokey!!
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This is the end of these tips and tricks for now.
Remember, this is what works for me, and if it doesn't work for you, it's perfectly fine because we are not the same person. The important thing here is that you are trying to do something for yourself and get some work done, and just for that, I'm proud of you!! ♡♡
If you want to share your opinions and help others by commenting or reblogging, you are more than welcome to!!
Pls take care, bye-bye, pretty angel~♡
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buckets-and-trees · 1 day ago
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Red, White & True: DC, Tampa, Athens [5/?]
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Characters/Pairings: Steve Rogers x curvy Millennial Female!Reader, Peter Parker, Sam Wilson, Bucky Barnes Word Count: 6.1k Summary: Late September means things are only accelerating as election day grows closer. Steve is picking up momentum in the polls, and things heat up on multiple fronts before you hit a bump that may shake up the progress between you and your husband.
Content/Warnings: marriage of political convenience, slow burn
Notes: You get another West Wing cameo in this chapter (but totally unnecessary to have ever watched the show). This takes place in a post-Endgame scenario where Steve stays and generally most of TFATWS happened.
Previous Chapter | Series ↠ Main Masterlist | Aspen's Ask Box | Field Guide to the Forest
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[SEPTEMBER 26 - WASHINGTON, DC]
The late September sun streams through the floor-to-ceiling windows of the campaign's official DC headquarters, casting long shadows across the bustling office space. You're leaning against a desk, watching with amusement as Peter Parker, the youth outreach coordinator who's also become the campaign's unofficial creative director of the TikTok segment of the social media team, attempts to explain the concept for the video to Steve.
"Okay, Cap," Peter says, his enthusiasm palpable as he holds up his phone. "We're going to do a quick transition video. It's super easy, I promise!"
Steve stands in the middle of the room, looking slightly uncomfortable but determined. He's dressed casually in jeans and a plain white t-shirt, a stark contrast to his usual campaign attire. The goal is to remind the voters that Steve is relatable to the everyday American at the end of the day.
Steve nods, a mixture of bemusement and determination on his face. "Alright, Peter. Walk me through it."
Peter's face lights up. "Okay, so you're going to start in your casual clothes, then you'll spin around. As you spin, we'll cut and you'll change into your suit. When you finish the spin, you'll be in full Captain America mode, then we’ll have you spin and change one more time, and we’ll end the video with you in your presidential get up."
"And this will... resonate with young voters?" Steve asks, raising an eyebrow.
You can't help but chuckle. "It's about showing your versatility, Steve. From everyday guy to national hero to the next president in the blink of an eye."
Steve shoots you a playful glare. "Easy for you to say. You're not the one spinning like a top."
Peter positions Steve in front of the camera. "Okay, Cap. Just spin naturally, and we'll take care of the angles and editing.”
As Steve prepares for his first take, Bucky saunters into the room, a smirk playing on his lips. He sidles up next to you, crossing his arms as he watches his best friend awkwardly position himself in front of the camera.
"I'm sure Steve must be loving this," Bucky murmurs, his voice low enough that only you can hear.
You nod, suppressing a chuckle. "It's written all over his face."
Indeed, Steve's expression is a fascinating mix of determination and mild discomfort, his brow is furrowed in concentration.
The rapport that’s been developing with Bucky over the last few weeks has also been nice. It’s its own brand of friendship, and it’s not rock solid yet, but it’s growing.
"Alright, Cap," Peter calls out, phone at the ready. "On three. One... two... three!"
Steve begins to spin, his movements a bit stiff in the first take.
Peter's enthusiastic voice cuts through the air. "That was great, Cap! Let's try again,” he encourages, not leaving a beat for Steve to feel awkward or like he’s done it wrong. You can tell his approach will make all the difference with Steve.
As Steve prepares for another take, you can't help but admire his willingness to step out of his comfort zone. It's one of the things that's made him such an effective candidate - his ability to adapt and connect with people across generations.
"Okay, this time, try to relax a bit more," Peter suggests. "Just have fun with it!"
Steve spares a glance at you and Bucky, then takes a deep breath, shaking out his arms. "Right. Fun. I can do fun."
Bucky snorts beside you. "This ought to be good."
As Peter counts down again, Steve starts his spin. This time, his movements are smoother, more natural.
"Perfect!" Peter exclaims. "That's the one. Now, let's get you into your tac suit for the next part."
Steve nods, heading towards the makeshift changing area set up in the corner of the room. As he disappears behind the partition, Bucky leans in closer to you.
"You know, I never thought I'd see the day when Steve would be doing social media stunts," he says, his voice a mix of amusement and pride. "He's come a long way from the kid who could barely talk to girls in Brooklyn."
You smile, picturing a young Steve Rogers, all skinny limbs and earnest determination. "I bet he was endearing," you say.
Bucky chuckles. "Oh, he was. A real charmer. Couldn't string two words together around a pretty dame, but he had a heart of gold." He pauses, his expression growing more serious. "It's good to see him like this, you know? Engaged with the world, trying new things and connecting with people again. For a while after the Blip, I worried he’d ride off into the sunset forever before the sunset was even really here. We’re out of the century we were supposed to live in, but we’re still here, y’know? Didn’t think it would be this, but it’s not all bad. Pepper wasn’t wrong in choosing him for who he is inside.”
You nod, understanding. “When I met with her about the campaign, she’d sent me the policy materials, the plans, the opposition research detailing his strengths and weaknesses as a candidate, and I was on board to take any position she offered me on the campaign team. I never imagined working on a presidential run, but her vision, her approach? I knew I wanted to be part of it.”
Bucky arches an eyebrow. “I thought… wait…” he’s mulling over what you said. “So, when you came in, you didn’t know she wanted you to marry Steve?”
You laugh and shake your head, “Oh, no! Because that would have been crazy! Who would agree to that?”
Bucky's eyes widen slightly at your revelation. "But you just... agreed on the spot when she proposed it?"
You pause, considering how to respond. The truth is, it had been a whirlwind decision, one that you sometimes still can't believe you made. "Not exactly on the spot," you say carefully. "But...pretty quickly, yeah. It was a lot to take in, but something about it just felt right, you know?"
Bucky nods slowly, a thoughtful expression on his face. "I get it. Steve has that effect on people. Makes you want to follow him into any fight, even if it's not your own."
Before you can respond, Sam walks in, eyebrows raised at the scene before him. "How’re things going here? I hear we’re starting a dance troupe?"
Bucky chuckles. "Social media campaign. Apparently, the kids these days like watching people spin around and change clothes."
Sam shakes his head, a grin on his face. “Glad I’m not going to miss it.”
“I’m suggesting you go in as back up dancer.”
“Don’t threaten me with a good time, Barnes! You know I’d do it!”
You laugh at the easy banter between Steve’s two best friends, but then the man himself emerges from behind the partition, now clad in his tactical suit. The sight of him in the red, white, and blue outfit isn’t new, but as it’s the first time you’ve ever seen him dressed as Captain America in person, it unexpectedly takes your breath away a little.
Steve takes his position again, looking more at ease now in his familiar uniform. "How's this, Peter?" Steve calls out, adjusting the shield on his arm.
Peter gives him a thumbs up and starts the countdown. This time, Steve's spin is confident and fluid, ending with a slight smirk that's pure Captain America.
"Nailed it!" Peter cheers. "Okay, one more outfit change and we're done."
“Hang on!” Sam calls out. His eyes light up as he looks between you and Steve, a grin spreading across his face. "We've got a golden opportunity here."
You raise an eyebrow, curiosity piqued. "What do you mean?"
Sam rubs his hands together. "Picture this: Captain America, in full uniform, getting a kiss from his lovely wife. It's the perfect Instagram moment!"
Steve's eyes widen slightly, a faint blush creeping up his neck. "Sam, I don't think-"
"No, no, hear me out," Sam interrupts, warming to his theme. "We've been pushing the whole 'relatable Steve' angle, right? Well, what's more relatable than a guy getting a kiss from his wife? Plus, it ties in the Cap persona.”
Peter's face lights up at the suggestion. "Oh man, that's genius! The engagement would be off the charts!"
Steve looks slightly uncomfortable, shifting his weight from one foot to the other, and you don’t know how to feel about it either. "I don't know, guys. Isn't that a bit... much?"
Bucky chimes in, a smirk playing on his lips. "Come on, give the people what they want."
“Et tu, Brute?” you direct this to Bucky, not at all surprised at the enthusiasm from Sam and Peter, but genuinely shocked he’s jumping on board as well.
Sam turns to you, his expression a mix of excitement and mischief. "What do you say? Want to break the internet with a kiss from Captain America?"
You hesitate, feeling a mix of emotions. On one hand, the idea of kissing Steve - even for a staged photo - sends a flutter through your stomach. On the other, you're acutely aware of the artificiality of the situation and the potential implications for the campaign.
You glance at Steve. His expression is unreadable, but you can see a hint of uncertainty in his eyes.
Sam, sensing your hesitation, softens his approach. "Look, I know it might seem a bit much, but think about it. We've been working so hard to show Steve as both the hero and the everyday man. This could be a perfect blend of both."
Peter nods enthusiastically. "I think a good candid shot would be a great way to humanize the campaign. Show that even Captain America has a soft side."
You look back at Steve, and he gives a small nod. You see a mix of emotions in his eyes - uncertainty, but also a hint of something else. Trust, perhaps. "If you're okay with it, I am."
"I’m good," you agree, your heart rate picking up slightly.
Sam claps his hands together. "Great! Peter, get ready with that camera."
As Peter positions himself, you step closer to Steve. He reaches out, gently placing his hands on your waist. The tactical suit feels cool under your fingertips as you place a hand on his chest. You can feel the slight tension in his muscles.
"Ready?" Steve murmurs, his voice low enough that only you can hear.
You nod, managing a small smile. "Let’s do this," you reply once more because this is its own ‘public appearance’, and so the customary exchange only seems fitting.
Steve’s hands move from your waist around to your back, and he takes a deep breath, looking into your eyes.
You stop breathing for a moment, suspended there in his arms.
“Kiss her, punk!” Bucky shouts, and the electric moment is broken, but you both laugh, and then Steve dips you dramatically and kisses you soundly as you clutch his shoulders. The three men cheer enthusiastically and cat call you when the kiss goes on just another moment or two.
As Steve stands you back up, you both burst into laughter, the tension of the moment dissolving into genuine mirth and camaraderie. His arm is still around your waist, steadying you as you regain your balance. The warmth of his body radiates through the tactical suit, and you find yourself leaning into him slightly, your soft, round body pressing into his hard muscles.
"So, Peter," Steve calls out, his voice still tinged with amusement, "did we nail that shot, or do you need us to try again?" There's a playful glint in his eye as he says this, and you can't help but grin up at him.
Peter, looking slightly flustered but undeniably excited, nods enthusiastically. "Oh yeah, Cap! That was perfect! The internet is going to go crazy over this!"
You start to step away, ready to return to your spot by the desk, but Steve surprises you by gently pulling you back, his arm wrapping around your waist once more. The room seems to fall away as he gazes into your eyes, a softness in his expression that you've rarely seen before. Time slows as he leans in, his free hand coming up to cup your cheek.
His touch is feather-light, his calloused thumb brushing across your cheekbone with a tenderness that makes your breath catch. The scent of him envelops you - a mixture of leather from the suit, a hint of aftershave, and something uniquely Steve.
Your heart races as Steve leans in, his breath warm against your lips. For a moment, you forget about the cameras, the campaign, everything except the man in front of you.
Steve's lips brush yours, soft and tentative at first. It's different from the performative kiss moments ago - this feels real, intimate. You respond instinctively, your hands sliding up his chest to rest on his shoulders. The kiss deepens, and you feel a warmth spreading through your body.
Suddenly, you're jolted back to reality by the sound of a throat clearing loudly.
You and Steve break apart, both slightly breathless. The room crashes back into focus, and you're acutely aware of the others watching. Sam has a knowing smirk on his face. Peter looks like he might explode from excitement.
"Well," Sam says, breaking the silence. "I think we've got more than enough material for social media now."
You step back from Steve, feeling the heat creep up your neck. Steve clears his throat, looking slightly flustered himself.
"Right," he says, his voice a bit rough. "I should, uh, go change for the final spin shot."
As Steve disappears behind the partition again, you catch Bucky's eye. He gives you a subtle nod, his expression unreadable. You're not sure what to make of it, but there's no time to dwell on it as Peter starts setting up for the final shot.
You return to your spot by the desk and try compose yourself. Your lips still tingle from the kiss, and you can't shake the memory of Steve's touch.
Bucky sidles up next to you, his voice low as Sam and Peter talk next to you. "That was quite a show," he murmurs, a hint of amusement in his tone.
You glance at him, unsure how to respond. "It's all part of the job, right?" you say, aiming for nonchalance but not quite hitting the mark.
Bucky gives you a long look, then nods slowly. "Right. The job."
Before you can say anything else, Steve emerges from behind the partition, now dressed in one of his presidential suits - a sharp navy number that accentuates his broad shoulders. You can't help but admire how he carries himself. He exudes a quiet confidence, as ever, a perfect blend of the everyday man and the leader of the free world.
"Alright, Cap," Peter calls out, "let's nail this final spin!"
Steve takes his position, and as he begins to turn, you find yourself holding your breath. The transformation is mesmerizing - from casual Rogers to Captain America to Presidential Candidate, but all of them undeniably Steve.
[SEPTEMBER 27 - TAMPA, FLORIDA]
The campaign has rented out an entire floor of a hotel for debate prep, transforming the spacious suites into makeshift war rooms as Tampa provides some key and convenient access to key southern cities by plane. Maps, charts, and policy briefings cover every available surface, and the air hums with the energy of a team on a mission.
Jake Sullivan, Steve's chief strategist, has pulled out all the stops for this crucial phase of debate preparation. He's brought in Amy Gardner, a seasoned political operative known for her sharp wit and take-no-prisoners approach. Her presence adds an extra edge to the already intense atmosphere. You watch as Amy commands the room, even though she sits rather casually in an armchair ten feet from Steve, who stands behind a makeshift podium.
Her presence adds an extra edge to the already intense atmosphere. You watch as Amy paces the room, firing off rapid-fire questions at Steve, who stands behind a makeshift podium.
"What's your plan for addressing climate change?" Jake asks, his voice stern.
Steve responds confidently, "We need to transition to clean energy sources while also supporting workers in traditional energy sectors. My plan includes..."
Amy cuts him off, her tone brusque. "Too long. You've got 60 seconds max. Hit the key points and move on."
Steve nods, taking a deep breath. "Right. Clean energy transition. Support for affected workers. Immediate action on emissions reduction."
“Too succinct,” she says.
Steve frowns, clearly trying to find the right balance. Squaring his shoulders, he goes again. "Our climate plan has three key components: First, an aggressive transition to clean energy sources like wind and solar. Second, robust support and retraining for workers in affected industries. And third, immediate action to reduce emissions across all sectors. This isn't just about saving the planet - it's about creating jobs and securing America's energy independence for generations to come."
Amy nods approvingly. "Better. Now, pivot to how this contrasts with your opponent's stance."
Steve's brow furrows in concentration. "Unlike my Republican opponent, who continues to deny the reality of climate change, my plan acknowledges the crisis we face while also prioritizing American workers and innovation. We can't afford to stick our heads in the sand any longer."
"Decent," Amy says, her tone softening slightly.
“Only decent?”
“You didn’t address the Democrats’ policy. Your battle is to convince enough voters in America to break with over two hundred years of choosing between red or blue.”
You can see Steve is fighting back a sigh of frustration.
"Mr. Rogers, your opponent claims your lack of formal political experience makes you unqualified for the presidency. How do you respond?"
Steve takes a moment, his brow furrowed in concentration. "My experience may not be traditional, but it's been forged in the crucible of protecting this nation and its values. I've led teams through impossible situations, made tough decisions with global consequences, and always put the American people first. That's the kind of leadership experience that truly matters."
Amy nods, but doesn't let up. "Good, but tighten it up. You need to hit harder on your unique qualifications. How do you respond to critics who say your experience is outdated?"
"I'd say that my unique perspective allows me to see both where we've been and where we need to go," Steve begins, his voice steady. "I've seen this country at its best and its worst. I understand the challenges we face because I've lived through similar ones before. But I also understand the incredible potential of our future because I've seen how far we've come."
You can’t help but feel inspired by that answer, but Amy's eyes narrow, her expression sharpening. "Not bad, but you're still playing it too safe. Your opponents will come at you hard. Let's ramp this up."
She stands and begins pacing in front of Steve like a shark. "Mr. Rogers, your critics say you're nothing more than a science experiment gone right. How can you claim to represent the average American when you're literally superhuman?"
Steve's jaw tightens, a flicker of frustration crossing his face. "I may have enhanced abilities, but my values and my heart are as human as anyone's. I grew up in Brooklyn during the Great Depression. I know what it's like to struggle, to feel powerless. The serum didn't change that part of me."
Your heart swells, but again Any interjects again.
"Weak," she says, her voice cutting. "You're not connecting. Try again."
Your mouth drops open slightly. That was powerful. You know it was.
Steve takes a deep breath, his knuckles whitening as he grips the podium. “I’m not a monkey on a unicycle.”
“Well, what a great start. No one wants a monkey in the White House,” she deadpans.
“I don’t need this. We did just fine in the first debate without you,” Steve nearly growls.
“Oh, I didn’t know we were aiming for just fine, I thought you wanted to win.”
Steve's eyes flash with a mixture of anger and frustration. The tension in the room is palpable, like a rubber band stretched to its breaking point. You can see the muscles in his jaw working as he grinds his teeth, trying to maintain his composure.
"I'm not here to play games or put on a show," Steve says, his voice low and controlled, but with an undercurrent of steel. "I'm here because I believe in this country and what it can be. I've fought for it, bled for it, and yes, even died for it. So don't tell me I'm not connecting."
Amy opens her mouth to retort, but Steve cuts her off.
"I've seen this nation at its best and its worst," Steve goes again, his voice growing louder, more impassioned as he speaks. "I've watched it rise from the ashes of the Great Depression, triumph over fascism, and push the boundaries of human achievement. But I've also seen it torn apart by fear, prejudice, and greed."
His eyes blaze with an intensity that seems to electrify the air around him. The room falls silent, everyone transfixed by the raw emotion in his words.
"I may have been enhanced by science, but my heart, my values - they come from growing up as a scrawny kid in Brooklyn who couldn't stand by and watch bullies win. They come from the men and women I fought alongside, who gave their lives for the ideals this country stands for."
Steve's fist comes down on the podium with a resounding thud, causing several people to jump.
"I'm running for president not because I think I'm better than anyone else, but because I believe in the promise of America - a promise that's been broken too many times for too many people. I've seen what this country can do when we come together, when we fight for what's right. And I'm here to tell you, we can do it again."
Steve's voice rings out, filled with passion and conviction. The room is dead silent, everyone hanging on his every word.
"So no, I'm not a traditional politician. I don't have decades of experience playing political games or making backroom deals. What I have is a lifetime of standing up for what's right, of putting others before myself, of believing that we can always be better. I'm running because I believe in the power of ordinary people to do extraordinary things when given the chance."
He pauses, his chest heaving slightly as he looks around the room. The silence is deafening, everyone ensnared by the raw power of his words.
"That's what this campaign is about," he says, his voice softening but losing none of its intensity. "It's about reminding every American that they have the power to shape this nation's future. That their voice matters, their dreams matter, this country over politicians and political agendas. It’s not a show to me.”
Steve strides away from the podium and walks out, and no one stops him. No one even moves until the weighted door to the suite swings closed again. Jake and Elsa begin conferring. Amy seems unconcerned. You’re sitting with Bucky and Sam, who exchange a look, and Bucky moves to stand, but you’re quicker.
“Let me go after him,” you find yourself saying, surprised at how fast you were to seize this situation, almost like a natural instinct.
You hurry out of the room, scanning the hallway for any sign of Steve. You catch a glimpse of his broad shoulders disappearing around a corner and quicken your pace to catch up.
"Steve!" you call out, your voice echoing slightly in the empty corridor.
He stops, his back still to you, shoulders tense. As you approach, he turns slowly to face you. The fire in his eyes has dimmed, replaced by a weariness that tugs at your heart.
"Hey," you say softly, closing the distance between you. "That was... intense back there."
Steve runs a hand through his hair, letting out a long breath. "I shouldn't have lost my temper like that. It's just..." He trails off, shaking his head.
You reach out, placing a hand on his arm. "It's okay. Amy was pushing hard. Maybe too hard."
He looks down at your hand, then up to your face. “I’m fine.”
“I think you’ve told everyone you’re fine every day of your life, Steve Rogers, and no one needs to exist like that.”
Steve cocks his chin slightly. “But the President of the United States should have it together, shouldn’t they? People want a leader they can trust.”
You smile, but it’s not a happy smile, and his expression matches yours.
“Can I ask…?” you venture cautiously.
He nods. “Wife privileges. You can ask whatever you want. Wife duties, probably, to ask me questions I don’t want to hear.”
Wife. A flutter flares in your stomach, but you force yourself to concentrate on the moment, furiously tamping down your reaction.
He resumes walking down the hallway, but more slowly this time, and you fall into step with him as you pursue your curiosity. “A monkey on a unicycle is an oddly specific and highly uncommon comparison to bring up. Is that some reference from your time?”
Steve huffs and his eyes fill with a mix of nostalgia and resentment as he begins to speak. His voice is heavy with emotion as he remembers his past. “I used to sketch a lot when I was young. We didn't have much during the depression, but my ma always managed to scrimp and save enough to buy me a notebook for Christmas or my birthday. It stuck with me up through joining the Army.”
His expression turns somber as he continues, "And after the serum changed my body but I was put on tour to encourage people to buy bonds, it just felt...underwhelming. Discouraging. I knew I could be doing more, making a real difference. But I did what I could - I knew raising money still helped.”
You reach the end of the hallway and stand next to each other, looking out the window.
“When they sent us out to Europe to entertain the troops, it only got worse. The last day I performed, for the 107th regiment, I was heckled and booed off stage."
Steve's hands clench into fists at his sides, "I drew a silly picture of a monkey riding a unicycle; it felt like that's all I was worth to them - just another pawn in their production."
You want to reach for his hand, but it doesn’t seem like the moment. So you simply continue to listen.
“That ended up being the last day I performed a show. I found out part of the company had been captured, stuck behind enemy lines. I disobeyed direct orders, found the men, saved Bucky. After that, everything finally changed, and we got to go to work, doing good, fighting Nazis and Hydra.”
A slight smile tugs at Steve's lips as he finishes his story, "I never wanted to feel like that monkey again. But the closer we get to election day, the more this feels like just a production.”
You stay silent for a moment, mulling over the pieces of his past and the feelings he’s just shared. This isn’t an easy conversation, and it’s not the conversation you thought you would have coming out here, but you’re grateful the two of you are having it together.
You aren’t by any means a seasoned politician either, but you had seen and had to at some points play at politics in your own work. “It’s all a show, there’s no denying that. But you’re not the monkey unless you sit back and let that be the reality.”
“How do you figure that?”
You take a deep breath, gathering your thoughts before responding. "Steve, you knew from the beginning that this campaign would be a production. You agreed to it - all of it. Including," you gesture between the two of you, your voice softening, "this arrangement. Marrying a woman you'd never even met before."
Steve's eyes meet yours, a flicker of recognition passing through them. You continue, your voice gentle but firm.
"You didn't do all this just to be a figurehead or a puppet. You did it because you want to be president. You want to be the one steering the strategy, calling the shots, making real change." You pause, making sure he's really listening. "This campaign isn't just about winning an election. It's preparation for the presidency itself."
You turn to face him fully, your eyes never leaving his. "This campaign, as frustrating and exhausting as it can be, is its own kind of preparation for the presidency. Think about it - you're dealing with conflicting advice, responding to the platforms from the candidates and how they overlap and differ from your own, connecting directly with the people across the country, making tough calls on what is and is not a priority.”
Steve listens intently, his brow furrowed in concentration as he considers your words. You can see the wheels turning in his mind, processing this perspective.
"You're right," he says finally, his voice quiet but firm. "I did agree to all of this." He runs a hand through his hair, a habit you've noticed he has when he's deep in thought. "I just want it to mean something. To be more than just sound bites and photo ops."
You nod, understanding his frustration. "It does mean something, Steve. Every interaction you have, every speech you give, every policy you propose - it all matters. You're not just going through the motions. You're shaping the conversation, influencing people's thoughts and beliefs about what this country can be."
Steve's eyes meet yours, a mix of gratitude and something deeper there.
"She’s right, Rogers,” a voice behind you makes you both jump and turn.
“This isn't just about winning,” Amy emphasizes. “It's about learning how to navigate the complexities of leading a nation, finding your presence as the leader of the free world, as commander in chief, winning the trust of the American people.
“The debates, the press conferences, the tough decisions you'll have to make as president - they won't always be fair or comfortable. That’s why I pushed you. You won’t answer every debate question like that, but I needed to know you could go there. That’s the kind of president America wants, but they don’t know it until they see it. If you can shake them to their bones, you’ll change hearts and minds.”
Steve smiles at her half in kindness, half in disbelief. “You say all of that pretty casually.”
Amy shrugs and returns the smile. “Because it’s true. I’m done beating you up now that I know you can go the rounds. If you want me to leave, I will, but I’m game to stay if you’re game for slightly less intense verbal sparring.”
“Oh, I can do this all day.”
[SEPTEMBER 28 - ATHENS, GEORGIA]
The campaign plane hums with activity in the minutes before take off. This cabin is filled with members of the press corps, their laptops open and fingers poised over keyboards, eager for any morsel of information they can turn into their next headlines.
Steve looks almost relaxed. His tie is loosened and sleeves are rolled up to his elbows. The energy from the successful event you just wrapped up at the University of Georgia still lingers in the air. This was the fourth event of its kind - a town hall format called College Q&A limited to students and granting them access to dialogue with Steve. You can't help but feel a sense of pride as you recall how he connected with the students, his earnest answers and quick wit seeming to win over even the most skeptical audience members.
It’s become routine that Steve always takes questions from the press corps when he boards the plane before heading to the campaign team cabin, and he’s truly at ease with them in this interaction.
“We’ll take one more,” the campaign spokesperson announces to let both Steve and the reporters know it’s almost time for take off.
“Andy,” Steve calls on one of the familiar faces - the reporter from The Washington Post.
“Yes, Captain, do you have any response to Jeff Connor’s comments about your relationship with Mrs. Rogers?”
Steve's whole demeanor immediately turns serious, his jaw clenching. "I haven't heard Connor's specific comments, so I can't respond directly. My relationship with my wife is personal, and it's not up for debate or speculation."
He pauses, his eyes scanning the cabin before continuing. "What I will say is that she has been an incredible partner, both personally and for this campaign. Her intelligence, compassion, and dedication inspire me every day to be a better person and a better leader."
Steve's gaze softens a fraction as he glances in your direction. "I'm grateful she agreed to take this journey with me."
The press corps erupts with follow-up questions, but Jake holds up a hand. "That's all for now, folks, you know they won’t take off until we’re all seated and we don’t want to miss our take-off window. Thank you."
You, Steve, and the rest of your staff head into the first campaign cabin, and as soon as the door is shut, the atmosphere shifts. The professional masks slip away, replaced by a mix of concern, curiosity, and irritation. Jake immediately pulls out his phone, you assume to get the quote in question.
Elsa, your communications director, is already pulling out her laptop as she settles into a seat across from Steve. "That was the perfect response back there. Quick and heartfelt. It'll play well, especially given the context of Connor's comments."
Your personal aide Sophia is already handing you a tablet to read the quote. "Here, ma’am. It came out during the Q&A, and everyone got wind of it as we were boarding the plane."
You take the tablet, your eyes quickly scanning the headline: "Jeff Connor Speaks Out: 'I Hope They're Happy Together'" The article features a quote from Connor: "I wish them both the best. Marriage isn't easy, especially in the public eye. I just hope they've found happiness together."
You pass it over to Steve and then chew on your lip, pulling out your own phone.
It only takes him a moment to read as well. "Thanks,” Steve's brow furrows as he loosens his tie further and passes the tablet back to Sophia. “This seems fine, unless I’m missing something. But who is this guy, and why would we care what he thinks of our marriage more than anyone else?"
A beat of silence falls over the cabin. You can feel the weight of several pairs of eyes on you, a mixture of surprise and shock in their gazes.
“Okay, I’m clearly the only one who doesn’t know,” Steve concedes, a shade of irritation bleeding through his tone, “Anyone care to enlighten me?”
You take a steadying breath, then look up at Steve and say, “Jeff Connor is my former husband.”
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next part: coming 11/29
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I'll just say that I've been waiting for this chapter in the story almost from the beginning. 😌
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olderthannetfic · 11 hours ago
Note
Knitting question!
Intellectually I know failure is fine. I'm a beginner! I'm learning! Mistakes are part of the process! But I find it really hard not to be demotivated by projects not turning out how I want
I spent all this time and materials on this and it's just kinda shit?
Did you experience that/have any advice?
--
I definitely experienced that when I first tried knitting. I don't remember, but I suspect it's why I drifted away from the craft for nearly two decades.
I have a couple of semi-failures from my current re-entry into knitting. I intend to frog or partially frog them and re-knit, but there are other projects I care more about that are taking priority so far.
Right now, I love watching youtube videos with little tricks to improve one's knitting or deep dives into technical matters. I find information on fiber fascinating. I think that has helped me avoid many of the problems I experienced the first time around. Even if I run into an issue now, I can probably redo the project to make it how I want.
I think the first thing to figure out is how it's kind of shit. Yes, yes, you're a n00b, but there are lots of reasons projects turn out shitty. Some issues require a lot of practice. Many issues require reading a blog post explaining some technical thing and instantly upgrading your knowledge.
--
For example:
When I first got back into knitting, I got some pretty green yarn and made a Medieval-looking hood. I had no clue how alpaca behaved or that it would be waaaay too flowy for the look the pattern was supposed to have. I was also knitting the pattern with the wrong size of yarn, needle, etc. It turned out way too big for me and a formless blob. It was also itchy.
A year or two later, I threw it in the dryer, and now it's an epic rainy day hood. It's mostly not itchy because the felting stuck down all those hairy ends. It has a lot more body now because it's felt instead of flowy hand-knit alpaca. (And, hey, it's even more Medieval since those hoods were often felt but not often knitted as far as I could tell.)
What went wrong here was mostly that I knew fuckall about fiber. I knew I was making it in some randomass size and didn't really care that it was too big, but I didn't know it would slither off of me due to alpaca's drape. I didn't need practice: I needed someone to tell me how alpaca behaves.
--
Example 2:
I knit that Owls sweater and didn't like how it had no shaping... so I winged it. I ended up with really bizarre shaping because 1. I had no idea what I was doing and 2. I didn't close the underarm holes until the very end, so the sweater appeared to fit when I tried it on.
I could open the underarms back up and knit a separate piece for them, but I realized that I dislike the fabric overall. I knit it on a too-big needle (in my opinion). I thought I liked that looseness in my swatch, but I have changed my mind. I was also worried about running out of yarn (since it's a used yarn that I won't find again), but I had tons left over. I also think I want it more cropped. The yarn has a sort of nasty texture but beautiful color, and I knit quite a tight (and thus scratchy) sweater. I don't think I wet blocked it though, so that might fix the texture.
What I should actually do here, assuming I don't just get rid of the thing in favor of better yarn, is frog it and reknit from the top down, reversing the pattern and not having a phase with the underarms open like that. I should also knit it at a tighter gauge but with a little more positive ease, and I should trust that the stretchiness of wool will make it conform to my body just fine without a lot of shaping. Before any of that, I should wet block it and see how the texture changes.
I don't really consider this a permanent failure. I like the Owls themselves. I can easily just knit this again and get a sweater I want to wear... possibly a cardigan, now that I think about it. The yarn is a relatively robust wool that will be fine being frogged and reused, and knitting it gave me more experience with finishing a whole sweater. My various fuckups taught me things about both knitting and my personal taste.
I guess it could be demotivating because it took a while, but on that bigass needle, it really didn't take that long. I would probably always have knit multiple sweaters from this pattern. I see more than one in my future anyway.
Experience was an issue here, but it wasn't experience with the literal act of knitting. My tension was fine. It was more that I fucked around and found out.
--
Example 3:
I made a self-drafted BTS sweater out of another batch of used yarn that I'll never get more of. I love the body. the sleeves are too tight in the upper arm, and my bizarre-ass design for the top of the body means that the sweater wants to be a boat neck but also fit differently in the sleeves and... gaaaaah. The tight sleeves don't feel bad, but what they do do is make the whole sleeve slide down my arm weirdly because of the fit issues around the boat neck.
Part of why the upper arm area is so tight is that I was worried I'd run out of yarn (which I did) and I wanted a balloon sleeve rather than a straight one. The yarn is so stiff that the balloon part is weird, and the two other purple yarns I added for the lower sleeve look weird. I should have reversed their order because one matches too well, and now it just looks like I ran out and had to add a last inch in a random other yarn. I have most of those two skeins left hanging around and a sweater that fits strangely.
Also... it needs hand washing but is shaped and sized to be worn against bare skin, so it gets stinky after a few hours of wear because I am a sweaty, sweaty person.
In this case, I wouldn't redo the body: this silk blend will look less nice after frogging, and I already roughed it up a lot knitting the damn thing the first time. I knit it starting at the top, so the weird fit across the shoulders is mostly here to stay.
However, I'm pretty sure the bad fit on the sleeves can be fixed by ripping back and adding a bunch of width up top. I can also start with the flowier other two yarns and maybe have bands of this stiffer one that I used in the body. I suspect the weird body fit is fixable by changing what the sleeves are supposed to be doing.
This is another case of fucking around and finding out, so I'm not too disappointed in it. I did wear it to Yoongi's concert too, and it was gorgeous, if too hot.
I do realize now that I hate boat necks, but I think I can put up with this one if the sleeves aren't constantly sliding out of place.
And if fixing the sleeves doesn't rescue this, I might attempt some surgery one of these days, but that's more of a pain in the ass, so that will definitely have to wait.
--
Now, my guess is that your "kind of shit" is not "I freehanded a sweater two seconds after getting back into knitting because I'm a crazy person, and I messed up the shaping".
The more common problems are things like:
Not realizing that you should block or not blocking aggressively enough, so your stitches look way more uneven than they need to, the shape is weird compared to the example pics in the pattern, etc.
Using assy bind-offs so the edge looks amateur instead of polished. (You can go back and fix this.)
Failing to swatch, and now you've knit the wrong size.
Picking a fiber that just cannot do what you want it to—usually seen in people trying to avoid wool and not getting that 99.999999% of trendy patterns are written specifically for wool. I have an ancient sweater from college that looks nothing like the example in the book because all I could afford was big box store acrylic. Never again the plastic horror!
Buying patterns from a size 0 lifestyle blogger aspirational knitwear designer with no boobs and a great photographer, then feeling dumpy when trying the thing on under crappy lighting. This one usually requires a little more self confidence and some bust darts.
Making things in plain stockinette in a light color and smooth yarn like cotton that shows EVERY SINGLE TIME your tension wasn't machinelike. This is unfixable. Don't do this.
--
If you're using mohair or alpaca, frogging may be more trouble than it's worth, but you often can reuse the materials. Granted, you've still sunk that time in, but the materials don't always have to be wasted. That might help it feel more like time you spent practicing and less like a complete disaster.
I'm a very product-focused knitter, so I don't really have practice pieces. I'm knitting to have a Thing and I want to wear that Thing, so I get the disappointment if you don't end up wanting to actually use what you've made.
But that also helps me not get totally demotivated. I still want that Thing and now I have a clearer idea how to make it.
So... what are these "kinda shit" projects anyway? What about them do you not like?
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maddiethedogstories · 2 days ago
Text
The Glasses - The Dark Side
Author's Note: I'm trying something a little bit different with this story. I'm calling it a mirror story. I am going to write a story with the same basic prompt and ideas in two different ways. One wholesome and one dark. This is the dark story. I hope you all enjoy it! Read the wholesome version here.
Greg fancied himself an intellectual. He had a PhD, was the top of his field, and respected by all of his colleagues. He spent all of his free time reading books and papers, absorbing knowledge like a sponge.
Or at least he did, until he met Daddy.
Daddy was everything Greg desired. Daddy was tall, strong, assertive, and brilliant. Greg found himself immediately under the other man's spell.
The first day Daddy brought Greg home, Daddy sat Greg on the couch and pulled the glasses off of Greg's face.
"That's much better," Daddy growled confidently as he watched Greg's panic set in.
Greg, in contrast, found all of his self-confidence leave him as his corrective lenses were removed. Without his glasses, all Greg could see was a soft blur where Daddy's face should be. Greg was almost completely blind. He had never felt so vulnerable in his life, and he hated it.
"Um, could I please have my glasses back?" Greg asked timidly, butterflies fluttering in his stomach from the fear of being left without his glasses for any expanse of time, "I can't see anything without them."
Daddy laughed in response.
"Oh, my pet, you only get to see when Daddy says so."
Horrified, Greg dives for where he thought his glasses were, only to find himself perfectly draped over Daddy's lap.
"Oh, Greggy, you need to learn whose in charge!" Daddy said before Greg felt his pants pulled down to his knees and blows begin to rain down on his bottom.
Daddy never returned Greg's glasses that night, and, despite his horror at being effectively blind, all Greg made no attempt to get them back. With a sore bottom, Greg didn't dare cross Daddy again, especially once he realized that he was entirely reliant on the dominant man to care for him.
Over the course of the night, Greg struggled to care for himself. He sat frustrated through the whole movie, unable to tell what was going on.
He stumbled through Daddy's unfamiliar apartment, unable to tell where he was going. He made a mess of himself eating dinner, unable to see the food he attempted to shovel into his mouth or the utensil he was using to feed himself. And worst of all, Greg eventually ended up wetting himself when he couldn't find the restroom in time to relieve himself.
The whole time, Daddy looked on and teased him.
"Careful, big boy! If you're having this much trouble walking, maybe you should crawl?"
"What a messy boy! Looks like a certain someone could use a big!"
"Oh no! Did the big, smarty-pants professor go potty in his pants?"
Over the course of the night, Greg felt more embarrassed and humiliated than he had ever felt before. By removing just one of his possessions, Daddy has functionally reduced him to a small child.
When they parted that night, Daddy gave Greg his glasses back before showing Greg some pictures and videos on his phone. Greg, able to see again, looked on in horror at images of himself covered in food like a toddler, crawling on the floor after tripping, and, worst of all, wetting his pants.
"What do you think all of those smart colleagues you have would think of you if these ever hit the internet?" Daddy asked like a spider who knew it's pretty was now stuck in its web.
"Please, no…" was all Greg could say in response.
After some 'negotiation,' Greg was able to convince Daddy to keep the images private in exchange for Greg's future cooperation.
As Greg left Daddy's house that night, he felt a strange since of dread set in at the prospect of what the beautiful man had in store for him next. He couldn't imagine giving in and losing his personal autonomy like that again.
Pursuant to their deal, Greg kept seeing Daddy after that night. Their dates took on a common form. At the start of each one, Daddy would remove Greg's glasses and take control over the other man. In turn, Greg would find himself fully submitting to Daddy and all of the humiliations he had devised for him. The few times Greg balked at his treatment, a quick trip over Daddy's lap, a reminder of the photos in Daddy's possession, and a threat to set Greg free without his glasses was all that was needed to remind the submissive man of his place in their relationship.
Over time, Greg--the PhD, the intellectual, and the brain--found Daddy taking more and more autonomy from him each time they met. It was painful for Greg, a struggle and hit to his ego each time he lost a part of himself. However, with Daddy's power over him he could do nothing to stop each relinquishment of freedom.
Over time, Daddy started picking the food Greg ate. He found his mature diet replaced with bland Cheerios, dino nuggets, and other foods designed for the picky palates of toddlers. When he complained, Daddy just pointed out it was easier to eat those foods with his fingers, since he couldn't see well enough to use utensils without his glasses.
He began drinking all of his drinks, which had predominantly become milk, out of baby bottles. Daddy told Greg it was to keep him from spilling given his lack of depth perception, but Greg could help but fill like an infant everytime the rubber teat was pressed between his lips.
Having his pants and underwear removed and replaced with pull-ups and, eventually, diapers each time he entered Daddy's apartment was similarly mortifying. Daddy made sure to emphasize the importance of the extra protection each time he dressed Greg in the infantile garments, given Greg's proven inability to make it to the toilet on time (something made worse each time Daddy changed him out of his soggy padding after Greg repeatedly failed to locate the bathroom in Daddy's home).
Daddy also stopped letting Greg pick out his own clothes. Daddy pointed out that the artificially blind man couldn't see them, and Daddy was the one who had to worry about getting Greg's clothes off to change him anyway, so giving Greg the freedom to dress himself just didn't make sense.
However, no matter how much control Daddy took from Greg, at the end of every 'date,' be it for a few hours or a weekend, Daddy would hand Greg his glasses back, returning Greg to the adult world of academia and filling Greg with a sense of hope that maybe, this would be the last time Daddy would call him over to play.
That pattern continued until one day, Daddy finally made the declaration that Greg had been dreading to hear for months.
"Baby boy, I think it's time you moved in with Daddy full time."
Greg started to cry in his place on the floor where he sat on a soft blanket dressed in only a diaper and onesie while failing to stack wooden blocks due to his poor vision.
Greg immediately crawled (walking haven been forbidden after a particularly nasty trip) over to the Daddy shaped blur sitting on the couch and stared up at him with pleading eyes.
"Please no, Daddy? Please! I hate it here! I hate being your stupid little baby!"
Daddy beant down, wrapped his large hand around Greg's cheek and chin before shoving a pacifier between Greg's lips.
"Hush, pet," Daddy growled softly, his face menacingly close to Greg's, "I've made it very clear who is in charge in this relationship. It seems like you need a reminder."
Daddy then harshly pulled Greg over his lap before proceeding to deliver the worst spanking Greg had ever experienced. At the end of it, the apartment was filled with nothing but the sound of Greg's soft sobs and the crinkling of his diaper, as he thought about the ramifications of daring to question Daddy's judgment.
The next few months passed in a blur. After moving into Daddy's house, Greg found himself wearing his glasses less and less.
Deprived of his ability to see, Greg spent more time forced to participate in infantile activities like playing with blocks or trucks or futilely trying to color in a coloring book instead of reviewing the latest literature in his field like he used to.
Greg's coworkers started to notice how the once brilliant, workaholic man's performance had dropped off. Greg was pulled into his boss' office and lectured on his need to improve, but, Greg, who once prided himself on his career success and independence, found himself unable to improve his performance at work given Daddy's humiliating restrictions at home.
After six-months of living together, Greg's boss had had enough and fired his once best employee.
Sitting in Daddy's lap in nothing but a soggy diaper, Greg cried as he told his tormentor about his lose of a job.
"Daddy," he began softly, hesitant for fear of judgment at what was coming next.
"Yes, pet?" Daddy asked Greg, his ever predatory tone dripping from his every word.
"I was, was, was fired today," Greg chokes out between sobs.
Daddy smiled, although Greg couldn't see it. He rubbed Greg's back possessively.
"Oh, did someone's boss finally realize what a soggy little pants wetter he really is? I can't say I'm surprised, but I am ~very~ excited for what that means. You can finally be my diapered little pet full time!" Daddy said triumphantly.
Greg's sobs redoubled at his sudden understanding of the truth in Daddy's words. He tucked his thumb in his mouth, a soothing habit Daddy had long ago trained in him, and continued to cry in his tormentors arms.
Daddy brushed Greg's hair with his fingers, relishing this moment of absolute victory.
"Daddy is so excited for you to be my soggy little pet forever."
Daddy laughed a little as Greg continued to cry before grabbing a small object that Greg couldn't quite make out off the table.
"I guess you won't be needing these anymore. Maybe we should get them mounted for posterity?"
Greg frowned.
"What, Daddy?"
Daddy responded with a guffaw.
"Your glasses!"
Greg felt his heart drop in sudden realization. Daddy was right. As Daddy's permanent pet, he would probably never wear be allowed to wear glasses again. His world was now fated to forever be a blur.
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insomniac4000 · 21 hours ago
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133 George clarke
that’s your nickname
George Clarkeey had a routine. Every morning, before diving into filming or editing his latest YouTube video, he’d walk to the coffee shop just around the corner. It wasn’t just about the coffee—though the flat whites were undeniably good—it was also about her.
She worked the morning shift most days, her apron tied neatly over her light blue blouse, her hair pinned up in a messy bun that seemed to defy gravity. She moved with the grace of someone who’d been doing this for years, yet, amusingly, her coordination failed her just as often.
It started two weeks ago. George had been sitting at his usual spot near the window, sipping his coffee, when he saw it happen. She was carrying a tray loaded with steaming mugs, chatting with a coworker, when her foot caught on the edge of the mat. The tray tilted, her eyes widened, and before anyone could intervene, the mugs clattered to the floor, coffee splashing everywhere.
George had felt bad for her, sure, but the way she laughed it off, cheeks pink with embarrassment, made him smile. She grabbed a towel, joking with the customers about her “clumsiness quota” for the day.
The nickname came to him the third time he saw her drop something—a stack of saucers this time. As the plates spun like tiny UFOs before smashing, George had leaned over to his friend WillNE and whispered, "Spills."
Will raised an eyebrow. “Spills?”
“Yeah, it suits her. She’s got...a certain flair for it.” George’s grin was unapologetic.
From that day on, in his head, she wasn’t just the cute barista. She was Spills.
George started finding excuses to visit the coffee shop more often. A mid-morning snack, an afternoon pick-me-up, even a decaf tea on his way back from the gym—he wasn’t fooling anyone, least of all himself.
But Spills wasn’t making it easy for him. Sure, she smiled when he ordered, laughed at his jokes, and once even gave him an extra shot of caramel syrup for free. But was that barista-friendly customer service, or something more?
He couldn’t tell. And the uncertainty was driving him mad.
“Just ask her out,” Will said one day while they were filming.
George groaned, burying his face in his hands. “It’s not that simple! What if she says no? Then I can never go back there.”
“Mate, if you don’t, someone else will.”
That thought lingered in George’s mind longer than he wanted to admit.
The next morning, George walked into the coffee shop with a plan. He’d compliment her hair or her earrings, ease into a conversation, and then casually suggest grabbing a coffee—outside of her workplace, of course.
But as he approached the counter, his courage wavered.
“Morning, George,” she greeted him with a smile. She knew his name! That had to mean something, right?
“Hey, Sp—” He caught himself just in time. “Hey, morning! How’s it going?”
Her eyes sparkled with amusement. “Pretty good. You?”
“Uh, yeah, great! Just filming later. Usual flat white, please.”
As she prepared his drink, George mentally kicked himself. That was his big plan? Small talk and his usual order?
She handed him the cup, her fingers brushing his for a split second. He thought he might combust.
“Thanks,” he mumbled, retreating to his table.
He hadn’t even sat down before it happened.
Spills struck again.
This time, it was a tower of croissants. She’d been stacking them on the display shelf when her elbow bumped the tray. George watched, frozen, as the pastries tumbled to the floor like buttery dominoes.
“Oh no!” she exclaimed, crouching to gather them up.
Without thinking, George jumped to his feet and hurried over to help.
“Here, let me,” he said, picking up a particularly squashed croissant.
She looked up at him, cheeks red but smiling. “Thanks. You didn’t have to do this.”
“Are you kidding? This is the highlight of my morning.”
She laughed, the sound musical and genuine. “The highlight?”
“Well, yeah. I mean, it’s not every day you get to witness...the art of Spills in action.”
Her eyes widened. “Spills?”
Oh no. Had he actually said that out loud?
“That's your nickname I—I mean...” George stumbled over his words, panic setting in. “It’s just...you’ve got a bit of a track record, that’s all.”
To his surprise, she burst out laughing. “Spills, huh? I guess I’ve earned that one.”
“You’re not mad?”
“Mad? No. If anything, I’m impressed you noticed. Most people just ignore it or give me weird looks.”
“Well, for what it’s worth, I think it’s kind of...endearing.”
She tilted her head, studying him. “Endearing, huh?”
George felt his face heat up. “Yeah. I mean, you handle it well. Most people would just freak out.”
“Thanks, George. You’re sweet.”
And just like that, the moment was perfect.
“So,” he said, trying to sound casual, “if you’re not too busy spilling coffee tomorrow, maybe we could grab one together?”
Her eyes sparkled, a mix of surprise and something he hoped was excitement. “You’re asking me out?”
“Only if you say yes.”
She smiled, standing up with the tray of croissants. “Okay, Spills accepts. But only if you stop calling me that.”
“No promises,” George teased, grinning as she walked back behind the counter.
Tomorrow couldn’t come soon enough.
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centrally-unplanned · 3 days ago
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youtube
Fuck seed oil discourse, fuck globalism conspiracy great replacement bullshit, the internet of today sucks. We have to go back, back to the way things were. When men, real men - who may have been catgirls to be clear since you never saw their faces - would tell you what The System refused to say: that your understanding of a battle from 2000+ years ago that you got from Westpoint textbook formation diagrams as bastardized by some other YouTube channel is an inaccurate portrayal of the event based on the 500 hours they spent building a brick-by-brick simulation of the battle in the Unreal engine. Enviously-autistic levels of devotion to a topic that is never, ever going to be politically or personally relevant a day of your life.
This is what the internet is for.
Anyway I only just started watching, but I can tell I am gonna be a fighter with dear Invicta up here. My bet is that 50% of this video's point is going to be the perfectly correct statement that the 1970's model of the battle that people have in their minds is wrong. Back when academics read Livy, read Polybius, and were like "yep, these two authors who are honestly contradicting themselves 20% of the time sound legit, let's take em at their word". Which is a valid point to make, obviously, I just bet the branding of the video will run a bit of aground of the need to cite the dozens of more modern academics who already know this. You have "you are wrong about Cannae" articles dating back to the 90's, and that is just one I knew off the top of my head - I have no doubt there are earlier ones. Cannae's sources are spotty, and our understanding of it will always be vague and debated.
The other 50% is going to be what I would call "model devotion" - essentially taking the conclusions of the model as a sort of gospel. But the model is, of course, built from the same vague guesswork as the spotty sources, and is a process of embedding assumptions. Right in the opening he declares that "once you realize how big the battle is, the idea of an organized retreat over a distance of a kilometer is impossible to consider" idk man I can consider it! Have you looked at military history? People do crazy shit, particularly when they are prepared to do it. If Nasir could lead men 600 miles across the desert to attack Aqaba by land, I think these guys can fight for a few kilometers. Doesn't mean they did, but in particular if it was so crazy contemporary sources probably would have pointed it out themselves (Polybius, not Livy - Livy sucks). People tend to over-assume the ignorance of the past - Cannae was a momentous event. Romans wanted to understand it, and we should extend at least some credit to them on that front.
But again, I have only watched a little bit of it - overall it looks great, really! He clearly did a ton of research and work, anyone who is building custom maps of the Aufidus River's historical floodplain to estimate various battle site locations deserves all the credit in the world. I will watch the whole thing, maybe he will convince me!
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bluecapsicum · 3 days ago
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hi Blue! I am absolutely IN LOVE with the "Reports From Unknown Places" series. If you don't mind me asking, how did you learn to draw the clouds and the sky so well? I've always found the prospect very daunting, but you draw them in a way that simply amazing! Do you have any tips for brushes/practice?
Hello!
Thank you so much for the message, and your kind words! I'm so glad you enjoy Reports.
I completely understand how one might find drawing the sky daunting. I still regularly give myself headaches when working on reports. Everyone has their own issues when it comes to drawing, though.
For instance, this might sound a bit absurd, but one of my main issues as an illustrator is that I don't think well in 3D, and I ended up realising that I was unconsciously thinking about the sky as a flat image. When I started drawing clouds as objects moving in space, everything became a little easier.
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(This is the kind of epiphany that I had. Truly a revolution in my mind. Now I can totally rotate clouds in my brain.)
This all came about as I kept on drawing more and more, sure, but the most important part really was watching clouds for myself, as much as possible, and to try and notice things every time. It's mostly silly stuff, especially at first, like oh yeah, I guess clouds produce shadows on other clouds too. Wow! Or, huh, this cloud doesn't have the same density throughout, so the light scatters differently inside of it.
Because it's all fundamentally physics, it ended up sounding incredibly simple once I had noticed it. Of course! It's all logical! I had just never connected the dots before I saw it in person.
So I also bought some books, and watched videos (all those airplane videos are fantastic), read websites, looked at pictures. Everything was helpful in one way or another. Listen, I knew about cirrus and cumulonimbus and that was pretty much it, at first. So looking at diagrams about how high cirrus are in comparison to stratocumulus, for instance, was a revelation. Looking at the life cycle of cumulonimbus explained so much for me.
These are studies I did on the side of Reports, in November 2020, then April 2021, and the third one in September 2023:
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I think I'm able to look at these and tell that I got progressively more confident because I understood what I was drawing a lot better.
If I had to say, a few concrete things I learned that work for me is being bold, not to be afraid of contrast and sharp edges, and to treat light as an actor of its own. I can't find it right now, but I once read a quote by (I think!) Cezanne that went something like "I'm not painting the mountain, I'm painting the air between me and the mountain". I think it's the most helpful thing I've ever heard for painting and drawing. It's obviously especially relevant here. The air changes everything.
Anyway, I could go for ages more, I'm totally rambling, so I'll just leave a few references I find helpful:
The International Cloud Atlas
The Cloud Appreciation Society
What's This Cloud
In the end it's just fun, and good for the soul, to spend quality time with clouds, so nothing is ever lost!
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creamflix · 8 hours ago
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FOR THE XMAS PROMPTS...choso + nice + ribbons hehehehhehe
you’ve received a gift! ⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆ want your own gift? ・:〃➜ click here! 
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you walked into the living room to find CHOSO hunched over the coffee table, his face a picture of absolute concentration. scattered around him were scissors, tape, and an entire arsenal of ribbons — pink ones, silver ones, some with glitter, and even one that looked suspiciously like it came off your holiday wreath.
“uh... cho?” you began, tilting your head as you took in the massive heap of ribbons that seemed to be strangling what you assumed was a gift. "what exactly is going on here?"
he looked up at you, cheeks slightly flushed, though whether it was from effort or embarrassment, you couldn’t tell. 
“wrapping your present,” he said simply, like this mountain of ribbons was the most natural thing in the world.
“are you... fighting the gift? because it kinda looks like the gift’s winning.”
choso frowned, glancing back at his handiwork. “i watched tutorials,” he defended, holding up his phone as if the youtube videos would validate his technique. “they said to make it special. and ribbons... are special, right?”
you stepped closer, finally getting a good look at the box. it was wrapped — kinda. 
beneath the fortress of ribbons, the paper was barely visible. the box itself was tied with at least twenty bows, crisscrossing chaotically like some sort of avant-garde art installation.
“baby,” you started, biting back a laugh. “this looks like a ribbon store exploded.”
“you like ribbons,” he muttered, scratching the back of his neck. “i thought... more ribbons would mean you’d like it more.”
oh no, he looked so genuinely earnest. 
the laughter bubbling in your chest died as you reached out, resting a hand on his shoulder. “i do like ribbons,” you assured him. “but, uh... there’s a limit. usually one. maybe two.”
“but look,” he said, eyes lighting up as he picked up the box. “i layered them. like this one,” he pointed to a sparkly pink bow, “is for the sweater inside. and this silver one is ‘cause it matches your rings. and this one,” he tugged at a long red ribbon, “was just pretty.”
“...cho, did you label the ribbons?” you asked, half in disbelief, half melting at how much effort he’d put into this.
“yeah,” he said, almost shyly. “so you’d know why i picked them.”
your heart practically burst. he was trying so hard, and for all the chaos, it was incredibly sweet. 
“okay, but,” you said, grinning as you reached for the box, “how am i supposed to open this? i don’t want to mess up your... ribbon masterpiece.”
“oh,” he blinked, realization dawning. “i... didn’t think about that.”
you couldn’t help it — you laughed, pulling him into a hug. “it’s perfect, cho. a little chaotic, but perfect. just like you.”
he huffed, wrapping his arms around you. “next year, i’ll use fewer ribbons.”
“how much is ‘fewer’?”
“ten?”
you groaned, and he smiled against your shoulder, the warm, innocent affection in his gesture making the overly-decorated gift seem like the most beautiful thing you’d ever received.
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