#or moist

[sylvia-plaths-fig-pie]

I may have writers block rn but I can assure you that miss 'y/n' reader girlie will never 'giggle' she will be teheing for no-one in my fics. My great sense of second hand embarrassment can not handle it. The word actually triggers my fight or flight for some reason.

"You giggled" NO TF I DID NOT

I shall tehe for no one. I may bark, beg, get on my knees, but giggle... GIGGLE? I draw the line.

[thekalpar]

Do you understand what I'm saying?" shouted Moist. "You can't just go around killing people!"

"Why Not? You Do." The golem lowered his arm.

"What?" snapped Moist. "I do not! Who told you that?"

"I Worked It Out. You Have Killed Two Point Three Three Eight People," said the golem calmly.

"I have never laid a finger on anyone in my life, Mr Pump. I may be–– all the things you know I am, but I am not a killer! I have never so much as drawn a sword!"

"No, You Have Not. But You Have Stolen, Embezzled, Defrauded And Swindled Without Discrimination, Mr Lipvig. You Have Ruined Businesses And Destroyed Jobs. When Banks Fail, It Is Seldom Bankers Who Starve. Your Actions Have Taken Money From Those Who Had Little Enough To Begin With. In A Myriad Small Ways You Have Hastened The Deaths Of Many. You Do Not Know Them. You Did Not See Them Bleed. But You Snatched Bread From Their Mouths And Tore Clothes From Their Backs. For Sport, Mr Lipvig. For Sport. For The Joy Of The Game.

[knightofleo]

[exitwound]

living is just figuring out how to save your life over and over again Like over and over you wake up and realize you are dying and you either save your life or you don’t

[marciaillust]

an Angel

[shredsandpatches]

Today in truly unfortunate URLs. Like, I feel like they have to have noticed and decided it was amusing but. MOIST LOUIS

[mushroom-punk]

playing his dress up games

[sphyrne]

shall i tell you about angels, mr lipwig?

[dr-graf]

Oh, by the way, there are already 10 covers!

Witches are next

[crustaceousfaggot]

Discworld is so delightful because you get lines like "When banks fail, it is seldom bankers who starve" except it's spoken by a 7 foot tall sentient clay statue named Pump 19 and directed to a man whose name is Moist von Lipwig

[shuploc]

bbno$ and Big Moist cosplaying Sonic and Shadow

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

don't know much about furry fiction but surely there is an established trope wherein some furries are allergic to other characters' dander? like say a gecko scalie falls in love with a cat furry but is allergic to cat hair. trials & tribulations & claritin ensure

[lazylittledragon]

dood dump <33

[elisavi]

i fr can't pass by a dynamic between a cool unhinged threatening woman and a chaotic little silly freak of a man <3

[krowbby]

Ankh-Morpork Dashboard Simulator

happy 40th anniversary everyone 🥳🥳

🌅peach-bi-street

who’s that watchman who’s kinda skrunkly

🐀↺riverrat Follow

helen. 

HELEN. ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT NOBBY NOBBS.

🌅↺peach-bi-street

oh yeah

#are you gonna look at me and tell me that im WRONG?

24 notes

🪙official-c.m.o.t.☑️☑️Sponsored with Blaze

C.M.O.T. Dibbler’s Escape The Room!!!!!

Newly opened in the Street of Cunning Artificers is an experience unlike any you’ve had before! Enter a room filled with secrets and mysteries which you must solve in order to escape! Great place to bring a date! Compete with other visitors for the fastest time to solve the room!

Show this ad at the front desk for a special deal of only one dollar per person, and that’s cuttin’ me own throat!!!

Dibbler Enterprises does not take any responsibility for any maiming, hot oil, buckets of snakes, or any other hazards guests may encounter in their visit.

#smallbusiness #ankhmorpork #ankhblr #deals

590 notes

🚹humantwitter Follow

4,981 notes

💌postal-service-top Follow

saw the postmaster today in his stupid gold suit. hes so hot

🌚↺lesbianbaker

i don’t get why people say this he’s the most average looking guy ever. his WIFE however

#you know that post that’s like ur at a lesbian bar and a hot older woman is smoking #and ur like. ‘can yuo put that out on me’ #yeah

120 notes

🥁evenmoremendeddrum Follow

do you guys think the patrician has a secret blog

🛤️↺makeyefret Follow

No, but I bet his secretary is on studyblr

🐶↺wufflesgirl Follow

are you kidding me the patrician is definitely on tumblr. brb committing treason so i can compliment his shoelaces

🥁↺evenmoremendeddrum Follow

peer-reviewed tags

#lord vetinari if ur reading this is legally a joke #wear an owl pin if ur one of us

🏚️↺ankhmorporkheritageposts Follow

Ankh-Morpork Heritage Post

1,074,228 notes

trainhoe-deactivated19890205

hot take but i kind of think the guild of assassins and thieves are problematic. like one of them you could ruin someone’s life and the other one you’re literally KILLING people. i know rich people are delusional but i can’t believe they literally think the best school for their kids is murder college.

🐲essential-dragons Follow

assassins got them

20,391 notes

[quekerahkerah]

Me recommending Discworld books: So there's this guy called Moist von Lipwig, and he—yeah. Yeah, that's his real—yeah, no, I'm serious. So anyway, he—yes, L-I-P-W-I-G, that's right—no, shut up, listen, ok, it's actually really clever and thematic—