#or maybe one and two because ive already read them so its gonna be more of a refresher sort of thing

[m00ngbin]

Are YOU ready to suffer? Are YOU ready to listen to me rant and suffer and cry and giggle and throw my phone?

Well guess what? It's happening. All that and more because TODAY... is tfs tuesday (but it's actually a Thursday)

I have read the first two chapters of it but it's been a while and I haven't been able to do much reading recently SOOO today I'm to binge all of it cause guess what? It's winter break! I don't have to go to bed early for anything! Not school, not work, not my family's peace of mind, nothing. In fact it's two in the morning. (I have a teeny tiny migraine so I can't sleep, being awake rn is not necessarily my choice.) While I wait for the Tylenol to kick in so I CAN sleep, I'm gonna read this.

Let's get ready for pain and suffering on planet Earth. Or Mob. Planet Mob. PLANET TFST ALRIGHT DONE

[casual-socks]

HI IVE BEEN MASSIVELY HYPERFIXATED ON TMA FOR ABOUT A YEAR AND IVE SEEN MAYBE ONE (1) SINGULAR PERSON TALK ABOUT THIS and i am not even kidding when i say its been a passionate topic of conversation for that entire year. people know me for this. it comes up and my entire friend group SIGHS AUDIBLY because they know the 20 minute tangent i Will be taking

WHATTTTT IS GOING ON WITH GERARD KEAYS NAME. what. what???? okay i

youre telling me jonathan sims went to oxford college (relatively prestigious if my memory serves me correctly) for RESEARCH. for, to put it simply, READING. and he looks at the name gerard and goes Yeah looks like jared to me lets go with that!!! HELLO?? NO?? not even mentioning the fact that he is being what could easily be called possesed when reading these statements which leaves us with two options

1. the ENTIRETY OF ENGLAND CANNOT PRONOUNCE THE NAME GERARD.

2. jonathan sims is so monumentally stupid that he is somehow breaking this possesion for the 2 seconds it takes to say the name gerard (i love him i swear i will sound so so hateful for this entire post but its out of love)

and like??? its not even that EVERYONE is calling him jared? elias and gertrude have both called him gerard and thats just off the top of my head. i also think jon said it correctly ONEEEE SINGULAR TIME. Just the once.

now i feel it necessary to mention jared hopworth here as well. because why, why on gods green earth, would you name a character gerard. pronounce it jared. TURN AROUND AND GO. lets make another jared but this ones made out of meat and is sort of implied to not be too fond of gay people. Yeah he steals peoples bones. Yeah.

SO LIKE GERARD KEAY IS THE OBJECTIVELY SUPERIOR JARED EXCEPT HES NOT JARED HIS NAME IS LITERALLY GERARD?? FUCK YOU SO MUCH

so okay. sure whatever this podcast is sooo british that a bunch of people are just completely failing to pronounce gerard. sure. whatever you say.

GERRY?????? HIS FUCKING NICKNAME IS GERRY???????????? NO!!!!

NO. no. LOOK ME IN MY EYES. LOOK AT THE NAME GERARD. GER-ARD. AND YOURE TELLING ME YOURE GONNA CALL HIM JARED. SND THEN YOURE GONNA CALL HIM GERRY WITH A G???? gerry with a g. that is utterly ridiculous i cannot even believe this that is monumentally frustrating i cannot even begin to describe to you all the anger i have experienced over this particular bit because why on earth would you take that particular extra step??? gerard -> gerry. sure. thin ice, but sure. jared -> jerry. sure! yeah! makes sense! GERARD -> JARED -> GERRY? you must be playing some sick joke jonny sims. seriously. you are a cruel and usual man

now this is when i start to wind down, but far from where i finish. lets take a moment to really pause and soak in his actual name here.

gerard.

that is so unfortunate already i mean really, gerard is such a…. a name…. i mean his mom skins people and puts them in books and the cruelest thing i think she ever couldve done is honest to god name her son gerard.

keay.

now dont get me wrong. theres nothing seriously wrong with spelling it keay on principle. but god, really? youre gonna shove all this gerard gerry jared business in front of me and tell me his last name is just key but gone the extra mile. really feels like the cherry on top of a shit cake.

now if you consider gerards character i truly feel as though thats the deepest disservice here. gerard keay is an incredible character whos short appearance is so memorable and charming, and despite his VERY little screen time he still has an intriguing and well fleshed out character. really, gerard keay is so excellent character wise. But, every time i think about him for any more than 5 minutes, almost this exact rant is being told to whoever is unfortunate enough to be near me at the time.

another thing i think also really adds to this is just the nature of gerard keay. everything you can say about that guy could be ended with “and everone calls him jared for some reason”. hes emo and everyone calls him jared for some reason. his hair dye job is so miserable that EVERYONE mentions it and everyone calls him jared for some reason. he has mommy issues and everyone calls him jared for some reason.

okay i need to wrap this up before i start just repeating WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY for thousands of words but heres a graph i made for my friends in october 2022 when i was going on about this in the middle of my spanish class 👍👍

[incorrect-riordanverse]

watched ep 3 & 4 of the pjo show. here are random thoughts:

ep 3

ive said before that ive put off watching the pjo show after episode 2 because the pacing seemed like a rush of getting from story checkpoint to story checkpoint and it never sat in one place long enough to actually grip me. episode 3 started off like that too, before the trio went on the quest. i only started to really like it when they were on the bus together and more of their dynamic was shining. theyre so funny bru.

i like all the acting but leah jeffries and aryan simhadri are CARRYING SO HARD. its like they took annabeth exactly how i imagined her out of my head and plopped her on screen and im so shocked at the accuracy??? her attitude and side eyes and sass is perf. and simhadri’s grover is insane because (dont come for me) i actually like the show version of him better than i did in the book 😭 perhaps reading him was rocky and i interpreted him wrong but seeing him on screen makes me SO attached to him. like in the books he always seemed like a sort of third wheel and annabeth and percy were outshining him so much but he’s actually slaying the show. i love him lots.

i like the dichotomy between percy and annabeth. their dynamic is already so juicy, especially with how they view both their godly and mortal parents. you can see some of their fatal flaws already shining through UGH i love them

i like medusa WAY more in the show. she seems so menacing yet classy and much more multifaceted. my only complaint was that she died way too quickly. there was so much build up in tension only for her to get one-tapped and it was honestly disappointing.

LIN MANUEL MIRANDA SPOTTED 🫵🫵

dialogue was great in this episode, btw.

ep 4

dream sequence went so hard -> “just breathe mummy ��️ you’ll always be here 😁” *cuts to percy alone on a desolate plane where she is, in fact, not here*

sighhh sometimes i forget these kids are just twelve and theyre literal BABIES and percy just misses his mum 🙁

annabeth exposition time. a comment on all the exposition— there’s always something each episode but i think the show is doing a well enough job of not dumping everything in a way thats spoon-feedy to audience or in a way that makes viewers feel overwhelmed. theyre breaking information up nicely (imo).

echidna is slaying so hard. sorry but the villains are actually eating the whole dish up. mwah no balls.

its giving “im not a monster, im a mother” 🔥

fight scene annoyed me again but at least the mother of all monsters wasn’t ONE TAPPED. but i was annoyed because the monster was not thrashing him around as much as it had the opportunity to and it was giving plot armour im so sorry. might be cause of budget or target audience/rating though idk. the commentary of the show seems more mature however.

anyways yurr those are my observations. i like these last two eps more than the first two so maybe i should let this series cook.

remember to pirate this show if ur gonna watch it!!

[a-court-of-moonlight-and-ire]

Hello everyone, today I'll do something never before seen on the flames and darkness liveblog which is read TWO chapters!! Idk man, i havent been able to read more than one chapter at a time recently because this book suddenly turned into such a slog to get through, although granted that might also just be my mental illness making it more difficult. whatever, i'll be in treatment for that next week

Anyway, today I'll be reading chapter 44 which is the star fall chapter, and chapter 45 which is. a chapter. Knowing this book series nothing of note is gonna happen in that one but that wont stop me from reading it

Chapter 44

Okay, theyre mentioning Feyre not looking so emancipated amymore and it made me remember all the weird weight shit from the start of this book. Like, she was losing weight because she was throwing up all the time and then not eating a lot and everyone was constantly remarking on that and it was unbelievably uncomfortable, but then when Feyre officially joined the night court and everyone immediately stopped talking about it, it almost feels a little manipulative, if that makes sense. Like, this book is ostensibly about Feyres healing journey but the Night Court cannot, under any circumstances, have anything negative associated with it so her trauma basically just disappears so we dont have to see the unpleasant parts of her recovery, she has one (1) nightmare after she starts living there permanently, one (1) moment where she feels too depressed to leave the bed and a few moment where she acts out but then immediately feels bad for it every time

Ughhhhh Feyre is wearing a dress for this which is really frustrating but you guys already know how I feel about that so shant go into that much more detail on this

I swear Im not just saying this to be a hater, Feyres dress sounds so tacky too

yoooooooo is Cassian implying he'd like to wear a tacky ass dress too??

and yet hes just wearing a BLACK TUNIC bro Feyre is literally covered in diamonds from head to toe so she can look like a shooting star or whatever and Cassian doesnt even have the decency to wear a black tunic that glitters or something?? Or hell, maybe even a red tunic to match his siphons, idk, give me SOMETHING im gonna tear my fucking hair out

Feyre is wondering about the IC being her friends and its like, girlie theyre barely even each others friends and youve known each other for maybe half a year to their 500 years

Feyre is describing Azriel hungrily staring at Mor's ass and it reminded me of that one bonus chapter Ive seen discussions about where he's really horny about Elain in a way thats pretty uncomfortable, and a lot of ex-Elriels say that it made them stop liking the idea of the ship because thats when they realized that SJM was just gonna mutilate both of their characters for the sake of smut, but honestly I dont think she would even need to mutilate Az that much

I could not give less of a shit about the Mor/Cassian/Azriel drama but I have to admit its kinda funny reading about Feyre speculating so much about Mor's relationships knowing shes gonna turn out to be interested in women

Mor says that Rhysand was very upset after she had sex with Cassian and beat him up as hard as he could (#incest) but she says he wasnt upset because of her virginity but because of the danger she put herself in by losing it, which is like, first of all that seems like splitting hairs, he was still upset that she lost her virginity even though that was none of his business. And second of all, I think it would actually make sense for him to have the kind of archaic sexist beliefs that would make Mor losing her virginity upsetting to him, considering he was also 17 when that happened just like Mor and Im guessing there wasnt anyone around to teach him feminism. or maybe hes so feminist he came out of the womb believing in womens rights and didnt need to be taught anything

god, the inner circle dynamics are so comically fucked up I have no idea how they can stand being around each other

Again, Im not much of a Feylin girlie but "Your hair looks... clean." >>>>>>>>>>>>>> "You look like a women again." (???? whats thag even supposed to mean)

So Rhysand is not wearing a black tunic, but he is wearing wearing a black jacket which is equally disappointing. atleast he has his tits out i guess

Rhysand was gone for 50 years and yet his best friends are not spending any time with him at their first party together since theyve been seperated, thats what i call friendship goals

Yeah, I guess its kinda sad that Rhys missed out on important holiday that meant a lot to him while undr the mountain but you know who else had to do that? Literally everyone that wasnt from the spring court

So he doesnt wanna tell his friends, who are by all accounts doing alright because theyve spent the past few decades trapped in a beautiful idyllic city, about his trauma but hes perfectly fine traumadumping on a twenty year old woman who just started to recover from her own trauma

Maybe Im just in a bad mood but this bullshit where theyre getting covered in star spirits or whatever feels so joyless to me, like its not whimsical or fun to me

Okay so, Ive heard about Rhysand calling Feyre exquisite and it made me cringe just thinking about it, but it looks like theyve translated that to him calling her 'herrlich' which means the exact same thing but it sounds a lot less weird and bad. once again, thank you, Alexandra

Feyre really just said "You regret sexually assaulting me? But why?" huh

Chapter 45:

Okay, thats the end of the chapter but theres two more things that kinda annoyed me that I didnt feel the need to mention as I was reading. 1) Feyre kept going on and on aboht Rhysand being her friend, it felt so insincere, its like sjm say a post online right before she started writing this chapter that was like "in the best relationships, your partner isnt just your partner but also your best friend" and decided to put that sentiment in her book, and 2) I felt like there were so many moments towards the end of that chapter where Feyre is like "oh, ive never felt this way with anyone" and its very obviously alluding to how she didnt love Tamlin as much as she does Rhysand now, and it was just very strange to read, like Tamlin was haunting the narrative even though hes not even dead yet

Uhm. so i got really tired all of a sudden so I took a nap at this point and read some gay vampire fanfic to rejunivate myself and now Im ready for whatever happens in the next chapter

"I was a traitor. [...] Even though I oficially left Tamlin - it was only two months ago, after all. By Fae standards that was probably barely more than a day." Oh yeah, i havent been keeping track of the time thanks for reminding me that this story about immortals is moving at a breakneck pace for no goddamn reason. But also, as an author trying to write a grand long-lasting romance, why would you write this. I know Feysand are gonna get married at the end of book and now when I get to that point Im not gonna be thinking "wowwww such romance" Im gonna be thinking "damn these bozos did the fae equivalent of getting eloped in vegas after knowing each other for barely a week"

Oh, men of all ages are training at this camp? would you say some of them are. child-aged

Feyre is being all "its so cold here, im freezing in my illyrian leathers I cant imagine a child with no clothes surviving here for a single day, much less eight years" (referring to Cassian) and yet she doesnt spare a single thought to all the children who have to be at this camp as well because this is the camp that the batboys grew up in, its not like this is a different kind of camp where they dont train children

God I hate Feyre thinking about how fuckin powerful the batboys are especially because its like, Rhysand is literally their high lord, he already holds so much power over the guys running this camp we dont need a reminder that he could easily crush their minds or that his goons need more syphons to contain the totality of their power or whatever

I get that these guys are like, shitty misogynists or whatever, but I dont think Rhys throwing them out of the house they live in is some #boyboss move hes just being an asshole

Rhysand would never want to lock Feyre in a house for protection, but he does want to decapitate anyone who lays a hand on her which is soooooo much better

Rhysand keeps calling the.... "females" of this camp "girls" which implies one of two things: 1) hes talking about adult women, hes just calling them girls, which is not very feminist of our feminist king, or 2) hes talking about actual girls aka children which. thank god for our feminist king having equal-opportunity child soldiers

Its actually kind of surreal how theyre at the camp where the batboys spent their CHILDhoods and Feyre keeps talking about what it mustve been like for Cassian while the narrative is actively avoiding talking about children being at the camp at this present moment while also not outright stating "there are no kids here at this present moment"

"'[The clipping of the wings is] to ensure the safety of their women, they said.'" this reminds me of something @/kateprincessofbluewhales said in regards to Rhysand forcing illyrian women to train but not doing anything else to advance their rights, which is that the wing clipping mightve started as a way for men to help women dodge the 'draft' that seems to be mandatory for all healthy illyrians. I dont really have anything else to say about that, it just popped into my head and i thought it was interesting

Rhysand is talking about how at some of the camps, women are declared anti-marriage material if they train and how he cant do anything about that and its like, even if these women are not officially declared unmarriable or whatever, the misogynistic men that make up these camps are probably not gonna wanna marry a women who trains, so what difference does that really make

Also, he says the only thing he could do about 'laws' like that is to murder the warlords and take their children/trainees? under his wing and I guess he thinks he would have to do that for every camp that does that but honestly, I think just doing it once or twice would send a powerful enough message to discourage other warlords from being misogynistic. And he wouldnt have to raise all these children all by himself either, Im sure he could get the help of a few non-sexist men or even, gasp, some women. Like those priestesses living in that library Im sure some of the ones that have already recovered from their trauma somewhat wouldnt mind teaching some boys about the harm that misogyny does

Okay so the blood rite is called a Blutritual [blood ritual] in german which is a little confusing because a ritual is a pretty specific thing and I dont think the blood rite is that specific thing but whatever, it sounds cool enough

Ive said this before, I am not a Tamlin girlie, at best I prefer him to Rhysand, and I dont like or trust Rhysand at all, but imagine hearing that tragic story about how their families killed each other, leaving them as the only survivors and being like "I cant believe Tamlin killed Rhysands family!!" especially when its like, the only person Feyre actually knows Tamlin killed is Rhysands dad who sucked ass, its not exactly a great loss

I feel like i had a lot of thoughts about a lot of things in this chapter that I couldnt write down because theyre these abstract half-thoughts, so I think I'll let those marinate until theyre full thoughts and share them with you at some later date

[nicegaai]

im attempting my fic reread today. im announcing this bc i will be liveblogging to keep my morale up, NOT THAT anyone cares but i personally need this, like ill only commit to do the thing if theres an imaginary audience holding me accountable. & i like to have fun :3

anyway. captains log, its a beautiful sunny july weekend. i just finished my morning coffee, and, i am dreading this so much. i dont like rereading my own writing but i shall get over it. ok here we go.

Þetta Reddast vagueblogged directors commentary edition

Ch 1:

*opens fic and starts convulsing immediately* god i wish i smoked weed rn. i cannot chill out ever for the life of me

My Mission For Today Is: to remember what plot threads I’ve left hanging so I can resolve this story properly. And also try n remember where the flow is going. I have the end plotted out, I just am a little lost … it’s been a while :-(

------------

Abrupt beginning!!!! I’m not mad because I have . I HAD. Almost no writing experience when I started this. it isn’t ideal but I refuse to be one of those fanfic writers that starts rewriting early chapters without finishing the last ones. Ive never seen one of those types actually finish a longfic. …I’d already rather yap than actually read LMAO AHH

Oh this is worse than I remember. thats cool that s great ok alright *coughs up blood*

"20 somethings" WOW I really did not know where I was going with this when I started huh

LKJSDLKSJDLGKGDJSLDGJK ??? Who authorized this. Who let me cook. What the hell

I could write this better now. I could edit this into something beautiful. <- devil on my shoulder

FORGOT I WAS MAKING RICE BRB

"generously offered nothing to the exchange." wait STOPPPP. I’m so funny

GRAMMAR ERROR DETECTED why is there two periods. I’ll be coming back to fix that …………………. :-(((

Fuck. This is a lot. Marge Simpson Hiding Her Face dot Png

Oh this is stupid this is gayyy this is fukcinnn . Who fucking did t his. What was wrong with me,. This is so good actually. what was i ONNNN. 

Im gonna throw up and I don’t know if thats like/. A complimentary thing or if im just cringing that hard . Im feeling emotions. I love my OTPs..OT3~5? I love them so so much

Ok as much as im like “eww bad writing” this is .. dare I say, rly good in places. Not to suck my own dick but maybe all hope isnt lost and imposter syndrome is an illusion

Grammar mistake #2. Goddddddd. they should ban me from the archive for this

EMILLLLL EMIL EMIL EMIL HIIIIII BABYYYY EMILLL I LOVE UUUU AWWHUUGHH everyone clap for my bewoved baby bruvver right FUCKING now

Urghhh gritting my teeth… Im fully expecting the flow of events to start not making any gd sense. There’s no way this came together the way I hoped in my head and .... For real I was never able to read this all the way thru. this is my first time, lol. and it was all disjointed on the authorial end to say the least. Im scared T-T

Jlxjvklsdkjfsjlkdkjlsjklkljzsdkjlgaskljdgjklasljkgdljkasljkdgjklasjlkdgljkaskljdgjakl?????????? 

Im not liking the ratio of dialogue to whatever the other stuff is. scene-setting I guess. prose maybe. i could have dragged this out way longer... By which I mean made it a more satisfying read. But WHATEVER !!!! 

TIMO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TIMOOOOOOOOOO NUMERO UNOOOO DO MUNDOOOOOO I really need to utilize him more. As soon as I finish this fic I need to write a Timo POV spinoff where he gets cancelled on furry twitter for proshipping in real life

Hmmmm chapter ending didn’t hit as hard in practice as it did in drafts. Oh well. God damn that was a lot to happen in one chapter LMAOO???

OH SHIT MY RICE IS STILL COOKING —— 

[rawmeknockout]

i have some thoughts about degrees of lewdity but this isn’t a review these are just my opinions and observations

i want to preface this by saying, although i like text based smut games, im not some connoisseur and i haven’t played that many. really my deepest exposure is fenoxo’s games and maybe a handful of others i haven’t played in a while.

so i totally went in blind, i have seen the names of characters floating around and ive read a fic or two about it on here if the set up or summary piqued my interest, but i already had some preconceived idea of what it was about and the general set up (i ended up so wrong lmao) so i didn’t bother looking up anything about it because i was fairly certain i knew it was about your player being in college and interacting with the town or whatever

i had the view it was like friday night funkin??? not in gameplay or story but like that generally it has a lot of hype around it and a pretty voracious community (i was already aware of mods for the game so i think that also made me think of fnf which also has a lot of mods) and that most of the appeal is the hype built up around the game. not saying that’s bad but that was my general idea/opinion of it idk why lmao

i was kind of white man jumpscared by the actual contents of the game. i didn’t find any of it triggering necessarily but i didn’t expect it to lean so hard into certain fetishes. im pretty desensitized to a lot of hardcore kinks in smut so it wasn’t a deal breaker for me bc i was still interested in checking out the game, and there’s options in the default game to turn off certain interactions, but i definitely think people should look up the trigger warnings for the game first and not just jump into it blind like i did. i had a totally different idea of the game so i didnt even think i needed to look up what it involved.

in my brief experiences of the game through the fandom, i imagined it as a college student in a sex game sorta akin to things put out by fenoxo now, but it’s more like the first Corruption of Champions (which you can only find through an internet archive these days probably because of the contents of the game idk if fenoxo has disavowed it or whatever but they’ve certainly left that project i believe because they also have a patreon that they rely on)

your character is a high schooler and i believe it’s mentioned they just turned 18? there’s a disclaimer that all characters are 18+ but i don’t think it’s ever mentioned in game or if it is its like a passing thing. not that like,, ages are ever heavily mentioned in any media but i know there are some people who would like it explicitly stated. in my opinion, going into any 18+ game, i just expect all characters to be 18+. id prefer them even older than that but ive never come across a game where i was jumpscared by a minor.

i think it’s set in a high school because that gives stricter penalties and set ups for consequences? if your in college and you skip class no one’s gonna hold it against you because you’re paying to skip school lol that’s the penalty. also high school tends to be a pretty traditional set up for a game it gives the creator the opportunity to involve a learning mechanic and sets a place for interactions and a structured time table for most of the week. another function is that, as a porn game, some people are in to being barely legal and an object of sexualization because of that. the game leans heavily on having authorities outside of the players control because as it turns out the whole town is essentially hell. we are straight up in the devils asshole right now and we don’t even know it.

one of the most stressful things going in on the first game is the need to make money, you owe money to the orphanage caretaker and you need it by the end of the week every week and this mechanic does NOT go away. it increases until it caps out at £2000. the game is in britain? so you know you’re in for a bad time.

the game is pretty hard going in i’m not gonna lie maybe im just a filthy casual when it comes to smut games but i found the penalties for repeated encounters, which are hard to escape from, racked up quickly. i was playing on normal but there is a soft mode, but i personally just wanted the regular experience of the game. i get that it’s realistic, in a sense, to have trauma and stress pile up quickly but if you let it get out of hand you get sent to the asylum!!! which is not much better!!! and when you get out you still owe money to Bailey when you haven’t been able to work 😭 very real very landlord

after playing the default game for a little bit i quickly searched for a better looking mod. part of the appeal of the game is the customizable character. i am fine with a gaia looking avatar but i just prefer the Bees mod avatar. i believe its one of the more popular mods but other than that i haven’t looked for any other, partly because i play in browser. i dont really like to download games if i can help it bc i play on ipad while im scrunched up in bed like a cozy shrimp.

my favorite named NPC is Sydney, followed by Avery. Avery gives you and has old man dick so im weak. Sydney, i haven’t played all of his content because i don’t want to lower his purity 😔 i know a lot of his content is locked behind that but he’s so sweet and cute i don’t want to. i will probably eventually. Sydney is your one bastion of normal interaction (other than Robin and even that isn’t true for long) in a sea of fucked up. Sydney also is a member of a cult. 😀 a cult that you can get involved in at your own risk. don’t do it.

the worst is probably Kylar. at least with high combat you can take care of Whitney, with Kylar he’s just a freak. he’s cute in some instances but in others he’s unbearable. he can also kidnap you and apply the stockholm syndrome status effect. 🤨

i generally, through every game i play, do the typical ‘good guy’ route. even in a game i have a hard time escaping the socially acceptable response and not doing the ‘right’ thing. this is true when i play COC or Trials in Tainted Space or really any game any genre. i’ll probably explore other routes but i wont be happy about it. idk i like to play good guy i like to be nice. my combat skills built up quick as a result because you will get into so many assault encounters but i think thats true regardless.

btw don’t bother with any other job unless you want to do sex work, just work the temp agency the entire week. it’s closed on weekends but it’s the most reliable source of money imo and doesn’t have a strict time table other than opening and closing. you can just go in and work whenever. if you get the boss to like you he’ll give you a bonus too.

i ended up looking for info on certain features and stories of the game which led me to reddit, as searches often do, and i inadvertently found out more info about that game AND the creator which dampened my idea of the game, but not necessarily in the way you would think. while i am generally enjoying playing, although it can be difficult bc it relies a lot on combat in interactions and you don’t like get to fight in a traditional sense (it can be hard to tell how ‘strong’ your character is i guess? lmao), i found out that despite the actual hardcore contents of the game, that include trafficking, there is no abortion feature. which is so funny to type out. however the creator has made it abundantly clear there will never be an abortion feature?? which okay i just have to say that’s a wild feature to have in game anyway but it makes sense!!!! because it’s a porn game where your character can get pregnant!!! but if you use the cheats version that is available in the options, you can delete a pregnancy HOWEVER it makes it very clear in the text accompanying the cheat that “this is not an abortion, this is a cheat”

look, deciding to add that is, in itself, betraying a sort of political stance no matter how much you wish to avoid it. i’ve heard through others that the creator wants to convey the actual trauma of SA, which obviously can include carrying a pregnancy you don’t want, however having an abortion you don’t want is also traumatic??? as someone with a vagina, living in a place where i cannot do as i wish with that vagina, it left me with a feeling of distaste towards the creator and the game. in a game where your creator can get SA’d BACK TO BACK you cannot then deal with the potential outcome of that??? you just have to like carry it if you don’t use the cheat version? it’s easy enough to access but the text accompanying it is blatant.

i believe that this is because the creator relies on donations on their website and because of the contents of the game they aren’t allowed to have a patreon (but don’t quote me on that because i haven’t checked the main site all i know is that certain games have had to change their contents bc patreon wouldn’t allow them to continue functioning on their site as is) which i am sympathetic to, however uuuh making a statement next to your cheat is in itself a way of signaling politics. in my opinion. as someone this actually affects. lol.

i think the creator has made a statement regarding some of the interactions as people in costume? maybe to like give plausible deniability? but like,,, the game is what it is because you made it that i would just lean in to it. they might have a hard time tho finding somewhere to platform their game or gather donations because of that, so i dont think its the weirdest thing for them to deny the contents of their game as how they appear. im sorta just shrug at this moment, i would prefer someone to just take their creation as it is but its probably more to do with the rules and stipulations of places like paypal and certain domains. i wouldn’t know. i dont mean to come off judgmental or like this is some horrible transgression, i get that collecting money online is a hassle if your main source is a smut game and i have no experience doing that so again shrug. if its what they have to do its what they have to do. again i think its like COC where its almost been wiped from the internet and remade into COC2 by the creators, and even then they’ve had to change some of the contents because patreon and paypal are pretty stringent about their rules.

i’ve skipped a lot of the contents of the game because first i think tumblr would nuke me from orbit but also a lot of it is genuinely very dark and triggering. this is not a game you should jump into without looking up the setting and gameplay prior. you should most definitely at least look through the advanced options before starting the game and look at each option you can toggle on and off because it will give you a better idea of what you’re in for.

[stellawolfearts]

Aight it's been a long hit minute since I sent ya anything (hi hello bye the bye)

Top five favorite facts/bits of lore/ HCs (can be yours or others head canons) of nezha 😁

hihihiiiiiii

ooooh top five facts/bits of lore/ HCs about Nezha. this is gonna be fun~

Powers

youd never guess. but when i first watched through LMK i didnt care for Nezha. not rlly. I always thought he was cool and had a nice design but I didnt really care much for him. But i ALWAYS thought his powers and abilitys were so cool. maybe its my bias for pink characters and powers (i also have a bias for blue) but when i needed a character to do some fighting in my fic i snatched Nezha. and ever since i started writing him i couldnt stop. So honestly i gotta put his cool lookin powers as #1 since its what initially hooked me onto his character. both canon and other power HC's i have.

2. His personality PSA: Im not saying any of this is canon. these are my headcanons.

I love canon Nezha dont get me wrong, but im a little biased to my headcanons. well- more then a little XP. I ADORE sassy traumatized fucked up little guys. LMK Nezha is already sassy as hell, as he should be. he's soooooo traumatized if you read into his mythology. and he's also so POWERFUL.

it's just something about characters who are mainly known for being powerful and unstoppable. a force to be reckoned with. but eventually it's revealed this 'unstopable persona' is actually just a mask they've built. They are no doubt very powerful. but one of the reasons people are so scared of them is bc they've built the reputation so no one hurts them anymore. Nearly always on the defensive and holding their emotions inside so thy don't get hurt anymore. But like we saw in the s3 special with MK can still be gentle and kind.

not only that, but needs that kind of kindness and acceptance in his life. Needs a family that will accept all aspects of him. The good and the bad.

TS Nezha is a hurt kid. Traumatized and honestly kinda lonely. Because there's very few people that know the real him. Even if he trusts other people, there's no guarantee that they will accept the real him without the mask he's created. Kin moment.

that and the fact its very easy to shove him into a found family.

also Autism representation in my HC's. I'm Autistic, and some of his traits are just me projecting my Autism onto him.

3. His white hair.

My favorite lore bit about Nezha is not something a lot of people know about him. In the translation of Investiture of the Gods I own it says he was born with white hair.

Chapter 12 - The birth of Nezha

However, as Yin had a strange dream one night, she suddenly gave birth to this strange child the following morning. With maidens rushing about saying that a demon was present in Yin's chambers, Li Jing immediately rushed forth into her room and cleaved in two a strange fleshy ball that rolled to and fro across the floor. Within the ball emerged a small young child with hair as white as snow with a gleaming golden bracelet on his right wrist.

I have implemented this in my Tangled Star AU but how is spoilers >:3

all im saying is TSNezha and TSMac have something in common~ but thats already saying too much >:3

4. His Design Theres a reason ive only minorly changed his design in my headcanons. Overall i ADORE it. Again im probably biased because of all the pink but I love characters like him. He's got some traditionaly feminine design choices. at least traditionally in the west (Pink, Long hair, the bottom of his armor looks like a skirt). It's very gender. and he's just cute overall. his design is so much fun to draw and my version is even more fun.

Honestly. The guys got my gender. Masc, but confident in wearing some feminine things. He just seems like the kind of guy who'd like wearing dresses and keeping his hair long, but still masc nonetheless. Breaking gender norms as he should.

5. His dynamics with other characters.

I love writing him interacting with other characters. He just clashes so well with the other characters when i write him in my AU's. both positively and negatively. I love writing him in angst, i love writing him in fluff. I just. love putting this guy into situations XD.

his relationship with his found family in tangled star is SO MUCH FUN to write. traumatized little guy who trusts no one but the people he's closest with. and even they are still getting him to open up.

thats...honestly the best way i can describe my top five things about nezha. its hard to explain why i like him and i was just tempted to write

blorbo

blorbo

blorbo

blorbo

blorbo.

So be happy you got that much out of me. sorry it got so long but once i start ranting i cant stop. XD

[sunnynoki]

We don’t talk a lot - We haven’t talked in probably about a year or so now, since I left the fandom space we met in. I’ve changed usernames since then - I went by Wheat on discord. Sorry I’ve been so distant. I never knew how to talk to you since it’s been a while.

Even still, I want to tell you that you were important to me, and still are. I wish we could talk more. I want to talk about your new interests. What are you into these days? I’ve been getting into some older games these days, but I’ve been missing pokemon a bit. I want to get back into it. Do you still draw Sky? I never asked you about them with as much detail as I wanted to. I was always worried about being too intrusive, but I regret that now. Your OCs are really imaginative. I know you’re into tensura now, right? Season 3 is coming out soon. I’m excited for that.

I want to get to know you again. I don’t know what happened with whatever you left behind, and I don’t know if this is a weird message to send, but you’re important to me and I want to let you know that you are. I wouldn’t be who I am if you weren’t there in the beginning. Thank you for being you.

i dont know how to talk either. every sentence i say either feels fake or self centered, selfish. and dont worry about being distant; it happens, especially when interests change. i dont blame you.

youre important to me too. i wish we could talk more. im not into much right now. i just feel empty. i gave up su/bmas, after everything. it was too much, not knowing who i could trust not to fucking ship them, or think its ok in any circumstance. yet sometimes i still crawl back to the tag, despite blocking it a while ago. i dont touch anything though, just look. it doesnt bring me joy anymore. i think im finally letting it go. i dont know how i feel about po/kemon yet. its kinda just. there. maybe im just feeling particularly apathetic right now.

i don't really draw anything right now. i dont know if i can go back. it was my only hobby, yet my therapist said that it wasnt enough, even when i was at my lowest. well, at the time. ive set a new low score at this point. i dont want to draw. i don't know what id draw. i dont think i can. my computer is kinda a no mans land at this point. i don't really touch it anymore. im glad you liked sky though. i never understood why she garnered so much attention. i could never write a good enough character for her. she was a mary sue in that way, with no real character flaws, let alone the... everything else. either way, like i said, im glad you liked her regardless. it means a lot. the attention i got because of her made me really happy.

like i said, im not really into anything right now, but i guess tensura would be regarded as an "interest." im... looking forward to season 3. i read one of the light novels thats going to be adapted a month or two back though, so i guess its gonna be a moment before i get to "new" content.

i dont know if theres anyone to get to know anymore. i was already in a depressive episode before this disaster, now i dont know if theres any going back, if theres any way to recover. it isnt a weird message to send, and its appreciated that you care for me but. im not sure if i can trust anyone again. im not sure if i can even trust myself. even in the aftermath, the people i thought i could trust either no longer talk to me or still interact with those who hurt me. i guess its selfish to ask them to cut off those friends too. but ive always been selfish. self centered. egotistical.

regardless, im glad i had some positive impact despite my mess of a personality. thank you for your words

[yc-shiya]

danganronpa universe dashboard simulator

💔 monoslayy Follow

rlly it’s not “pretentious” to not find the newer seasons better?? listen i love the new ones as much as anyone else (ESP DANRON 48 UGHHHHH WTFFF) but to act like the junko twist is still subversive is just WRONG

😈 junkosgirl04 Follow

Literally who said that lol this is not an unpopular opinion at all

💔 monoslayy Follow

are you biased maybe “junkosgirl04”

☠️ the-sauna-scene Follow

they did him so dirtyyyy 😭 we do not talk about this hair ATROCITY!!! its not even funny

🌟dangan-wrongpa Follow

I find it really interesting that you so-called “sympathetic” Danganronpa fans are always harping on about the tragedies of the characters played by *REAL LIFE ACTORS* rather than the later seasons when the showrunners recruited and killed *TEENAGERS* for money and views. It’s one level of wrong to be a fan of the show and still acknowledge its problems, especially with the newer releases. It’s something else entirely to still be talking about seasons one, two, three…and completely ignore the ongoing human rights violation that is modern day Danganronpa. You people disgust me. I sincerely wish you could take a better look at the media you consume, because it’s actually, LITERALLY killing people.

☠️ the-sauna-scene Follow

not reading that

🌟 dangan-wrongpa Follow

wow! posting fetish art of REAL LIVING PEOPLE too! literally nothing shocks me anymore with you freaks!!!

🍬 kimurasgf Follow

hey wait arent you the guy who auditioned for season 53 pitching yourself as the ultimate vtuber? lmfao?

🧈 death-by-balls Follow

If i had a nickel for every danganronpa man ive loved who was executed and turned into butter, i would have three nickels, which isnt a lot, but its weird that its happened thrice

#in 1 then 13 then 39 #they were cooking tho ngl 🔥🔥

🍀 hopefulservant Follow

listen i can be fucked in the head sometimes but we srsly gotta take a step back and consider how the series is exploiting mentally ill people for content. i mean, whens the last time we had a double or triple murder where the killer wasn’t already, or eventually revealed to be, mentally ill? What is that saying, exactly??

💣 togamicorp Follow

more👏neurotypical👏serial👏killers👏

🔪 chapter3sweetheart Follow

OP i have some news about your best boy

🍀 hopefulservant Follow

….agh…….my worthless talent…….

🎹 warriorsofdope Follow

okay can someone tell me why im seeing ship discourse about danganronpa 48 again? i thought we all played the same game and came to the consensus that the optional romance event with the whole class was universally canonical

🔮 30-percent Follow

Some of us didn’t get it on our playthrough 😒 also Sorry but I don’t like some of the cast of danganronpa 48. I don’t want them all shipped together.

🎹 warriorsofdope Follow

I can’t forgive you . Im gonna have to kill you for having that opinion.

🌟 dangan-wrongpa Follow

you shouldn’t ship the cast of danganronpa 48 because half of them are confirmed clones of Junko. go through chapter 5 again if you forgot.

🚀 femmesakura Follow

SHUT UP ABOUT THE JUNKO CLONES SHUT UP ABOUT THE JUNKO CLONES SHUT UP ABOUT THE JUNKO CLONES SHUT UP ABOUT THE JUNKO CLONES SHUT UP ABOUT THE JUNKO CLONES SHUT UP ABOUT THE JUNKO CLONES

THAT THEORY WAS DISPROVEN IN DANGANRONPA 49 STFU STFU STFU HOW ARE PEOPLE STILL THINKING THIS?!?!?

🐹 gundamwenttohell Follow

dont bother with him hes the vtuber guy

[freshlybakedspiderbread]

seiga kaku?

im gonna actively try to keep myself concise and to single points because its been so easy for me in the past to get lost in wicked hermit thoughts and veer off who knows where... Part of it surely has to do with how a long time ago i used to have an rp blog on tumblr where i spent everyday thinking about seiga to some extent!

General opinion/How much I care about them: there was a long period of time where i would say without a doubt she was my single favourite character in touhou. I couldn't properly point to any one reason, or any tidy chain of events that might have led to it, other than learning about her, reading and seeing various very formative doujin works featuring her and the th13 crew, and maybe some old-fashioned projecting led me to latching onto every aspect of her... These days, there's a lot of touhous I obsess and go wild over and to even greater extents than her, but seiga objectively has the longest history of making me go a little nuts, whereas even aya took a little more time to nettle into my brain.

I like Seiga a lot and ive thought about her a lot, is what im getting at!

A ship I love: seiyoshi (seiga/yoshika) is funny in that it has a lot of little 'requirements' to me. Like if intepreted as just purely the evil hermit controlling a tool that she herself murdered to obtain, i think thats boring. But likewise, if its intepreted as just the hermit tragically trying to preserve her departed beloved, well that might be better but still lacking to me.

i couldnt possibly get across my ideal backstory for them right now, but the ultimate gist of it is that Seiga definitely did care for the living Yoshika who then died unexpectedly, before Seiga could decide herself whether she would commit to teaching her the ways of the hermit or simply get bored and move on. Her main motivation in performing the most ludicrously evil magic and create a jiangshi was because she refused to let even the natural order of life and death take anything away from her.

....Thaaaat all aside, i think their interactions in present day are just really funny 😄 Seiga 'spoiling' her dear Yoshika who laughs off being a meat shield because its not like she can die again!

A non-romantic relationship that I love: I think Seiga and Futo have the most oddball dynamic among the taoists and also Futo is probably the only one Seiga wouldn't have intense romanctic tension with. Futo who is a weirdo herself, acknowledges Seiga as their wise teacher of the arts (calling her seiga-donno) and yet also does not think of her as above any of them in their little personal hierarchy because Futo knows Seiga has no interest in being a proper retainer to Miko, so all of Futo's formalities almost come off as either sarcastic or as a really esoteric form of endearment. Meanwhile, Seiga probably thought a long time ago Futo would grow weary of things like loyalty and matters of noble blood or talking like an ancient old person, but none of that happened and Futo remains the same as ever, which has been altogether surprising, charming, and exasperating for Seiga (and everone else but they're all mostly charmed 😊)

The NOTP: i guess you'd have to work especially hard to get me to gel with pairing her up with any of myouren temple's folks. I get the temptation since every other taoist has one or two easily paired up counterpart there, but its not enough to just cross a checklist and leave it at that!

(that said, if you were gonna pair up buddhists and taosists thematically, i get why one might put seiga with shou since they were technically most vital in backstory with miko/byakuren respectively, and also because they both have a servant, one jiang-shi and a mouse. but i always thought seiga made a better parallel witn nue personally)

My biggest headcanon about them: most of this post is already headcanon, but as for another 'big' one...

I believe over the last thousand and whatever years, Seiga made semi-regular (as in maybe once every few years or a century?) visits to the tomb where Miko and gang slept, indulging and refreshing her memories of them, chatting up Tojiko who is now a ghost. And then sometime in 2011 right as her hermit senses told her it was finally time to meet them all again, she went to to tomb to greet them all only to find out literally the entire place was gone 😨

so all within like a week or something, Seiga had to go on a mad investigative quest where she discovered they had all been whisked to Gensokyo at some point, had to learn what the heck Gensoyko even is, how to get herself there, and then arrived just in time to get blasted by the incident resolvers. Really busy time in her life!

An idea for a fanfiction I would like to write/read about them: ha... one day, my multi-part seiga backstory fic incorporating every stray headcanon i've ever had. and then i quit writing forever maybe n_n

That aside, a funny scenario would be Okina appearing trying to stir drama because Seiga is basically the reason why Miko divorced Okina. And Seiga has no idea who she is or about any of that because Miko never mentioned it 😌

Something that makes me think of them: pretzels.

also its someone elses fault but luo tianyi is just the seiga vocaloid to me 😑

[x1s7z8]

im just gonna yap

idk if anyone will read this, and ill probably delete it later fr

i like a gay (cis) guy; i am a gay (trans) guy

he doesnt know im trans, and i know he doesnt like me, but we’re friends, and now someone else is in his life and they mutually like each other.

its very complicated. i think part of me hates him, while another part desperately loves him. he has a lot of flaws, and so do i. i know a relationship would never work with him. he tends to imitate me..? or, kind of copy things i say i do. i dont know if its intentional, and i dont plan on asking him about it. we used to argue a lot, and we still kind of do, despite me trying to avoid it more now. i think i resent him.

doesnt sound too bright, i know. we have been friends for a little over a year now. we met on a friend finding app, and then we formed a group chat where we would talk with my two other friends. he lives about two to three hours away. he didnt really have any friends when we met since he had just recently moved to a neighbouring city from Vancouver. i dont know when i started to like him. “oh you like someone you haven’t even met yet?” unfortunately, yeah. that wasnt the plan. you cant blame me for liking personality over appearance. it sounds ridiculous. i know. it really does.

i was simply looking for people who were interested in the same topic i was - typology. i had recently gotten into cognitive functions and psychology, and i wanted people to discuss and share my ideas with. thats what we were for a month. then we just became friends. always talking and playing games. always debating. i usually won, not to brag, but thats something to keep in mind when i get to how he behaves in the present.

i wasnt healthy then. im not exactly healthy now, but i was worse then. more insecure, argumentative, defensive. i was more judgmental. i hated being trans, and i hated being gay and trans at the same time. im still touchy about it, but i think im more comfortable now. they didnt know. one of them still doesnt know im gay. none of them know im trans. ive contemplated telling them, but theyve asked me before, and ive said no. itd be awkward to finally tell them, even if they suspect it.

for some reason, after a month or two, hed always flirt jokingly at me. you know, how some people are with friends. its funny. maybe thats why i started liking him, who knows. i sure dont. i always knew he was bi/gay because he told us from the start. id flirt back in a joking manner as to not be weird. i never really realized it, but he only did it with me.

i eventually told him i was gay, and that i didnt want him to tell anyone, since i had already told them i was straight and i had heard some iffy jokes. he said it was fine and asked me my type. i told him. then he told me his. i wasnt his type, but he was mine.

a few months later, i told him i liked him. i told him, “even when i was being mean i liked you”. thats not all i said but yk. i had wanted to tell him for a while. he told me “im a fan of friends to lovers”. i found that funny. he asked if i still liked him, and i said “maybe a little”. he said i hurt his feelings, but in a joking manner.

we then played a game we really liked, and he called us love birds. i knew we weren’t going to date or anything, but it felt really nice. at least for a night i could like him without feeling ashamed about it. i still held some resentment but it felt good letting it go away for a night. then everything went back to normal a week or a little over a week later. we debated more. played games. maybe argued some as a group.

then a couple months later we had a big argument. went silent for a few weeks, made up. then a month later the same thing happened, and we made up again. then another few months later we argued, and he was contemplating on getting rid of us. the group.

i was hearing this in the middle of class, after waiting a week or three for him to answer my message. i didnt know why it was so heartbreaking to hear. i didnt know why it hurt, since i resented him. i was sitting in class, staring out the window, and wondering why i wanted to beg him to stay. why i was so upset, and why i missed him so much. i knew why, but i didnt.

we make up again. all is well. then another argument two more months later. this time, it was me contemplating leaving. except i didnt contemplate it. i did it. i got rid of them. on nearly everything. i had issues, and they were ruining my friendships.

i was fine the first week. fine the second. then i started missing him again. why?? after all that, did i still miss him? why was i attached to this guy??? why did i want to tell him how much i missed him and im sorry? well, i did. it didnt really matter why, just that i did. and so i told him on the game we used to love to play so much.

he eventually found the message. he talked to me. i was anxious to even check what he said. then we made up again.

a month goes by. im sure hes already forgotten what i had told him. that i liked him. it was fine though. i was content that we could be friends. he became more argumentative though. im sure it was just the stress, but he got unhealthy. he still is. i think i had become healthier before the last two big arguments. the break from him seemed to make me healthier. i didnt really care though. he had made new friends many many months before now. we were happy for him. i had been giving him as much advice as i could. i wanted to meet his friends but he kept saying no. that was fine. i didnt pressure him.

he eventually told me and my friend that someone liked him. someone who was his type. someone who lived close to him. that they had kissed and talked about dating when hes less stressed. i told him i was happy for him. i told him i hope things go well. i told him to do what felt right. why would i ever say anything different? i mean, hes a gay amab guy. he just got told someone his type likes him, and theyre another amab guy.

i had known there was no chance for me from the start. hes gay. he wants someone who has the body of a dude. i dont have one. im not going to put pressure on him. if i had ever asked him out i would have to mention im trans, and i know hes not attracted to that. its fine. he doesnt need to be. even if i wasnt trans, there were all the other issues we had. the arguments. the resentment we both had. the odd “copy-cat” thing he has going on w me that i havent even talked about yet.

despite knowing it would never work, despite knowing he wouldnt want me, and that he doesnt like me, it was still heartbreaking. you know? its one thing liking someone while theyre single and your friend, but its another to like them while they get into a relationship. i dont know. i felt sick and anxious. a deep pit feeling in my abdomen. i love him and i hate him, and it hurts seeing him love someone else.

he used to hangout with us so much. hed play games every night, we’d watch movies, we’d have long early morning conversations. he mentioned that, since i struggle waking up in the morning, if we ever lived together for university, he’d wake me up and drag my lazy a*s out of bed. i don’t think he remembers that, but i do. now he only hangs out with his new friends. every night. when we finally get time with him, its cut short because hes hanging out with his friends. i found out yesterday hes even hanging out with them while he hangs out with us.

maybe im being selfish, like he says. maybe i wasnt clear enough when i told him i liked him. maybe hes just forgotten. or maybe he just doesnt care. i dont expect him to care. its okay. i dont blame him. i know. i just wanted to whine somewhere other than my writing app.

i wish his jokes werent jokes. i was still kinda hoping that when we got to the same university, maybe things would have been different.

anyhow. big yap. i like this song

[apoplecticgalaxy]

Just watched Saw X in theatres and omg i have to rant. Spoilers under the cut! (ive never used the read more function hopefully this works)

I invited my friend to watch the movie with me and was so hyped to see it, but then at the theatre they asked for an ID which makes sense in retrospect cause its rated R bUT. MY FRIEND DOESN'T HAVE A LICENSE OR ANY FORM OF ID. So he couldn't see it and insisted I go alone. I did because. I'd been waiting so long and he was so insistent I go.

But that aside, the actual movie.

I think it might've just been my already anxious and stressed mindset but I felt very iffy about this movie. The best part was definitely the traps, because they were genuinely amazing. Gabrielas was so fucking good. I do feel like they deserved more time tho, because they were so close and used almost all their time effectively for people scared out of their mind.

As for the plot, I think my appreciation for John and Amanda's character development is definitely gonna come in eventually, but for now I'm just SO PISSED MARK WASN'T THERE. THAT FIC I WAS GONNA WRITE? GONE. Like John calling and asking for his help was so misleading, not to mention how misleading the trailer was. Why show two things from the fucking end credit scene??

Genuinely I thought Mark was going to come in when Amanda and John were in the trap but nope- I kept waiting and nothing 😭 I think thats what ruined the movie for me, is just how misleading everything was. But I'll probably come to appreciate it.

This is really weird for me because I never don't love a saw movie. Like, even the controversial ones. I loved 3 (albeit less than others), I loved 3D, I loved Jigsaw and Spiral, but this one is just... Eh? It'll probably grow on me tho

Anyway that's the rant thanks for your time. I still might write a saw fic tho (maybe a what if Mark *was* in Mexico with them)

And congrats to the Amanda fans !!! I'm sure yall loved it (and its deserved, Amanda deserves the rep)

[a-court-of-moonlight-and-ire]

Hey so. its been a while. I havent had a lot of energy these past few weeks and when I did I didnt really wanna spend that energy on this bad book series, but its the weekend and its been wayyyy too long and I need to finish ACOMAF before shit starts falling out of my sieve of a brain. As always, I am motivating myself with the prospect of contuining to work on a proshot of the takarazuka production elisabeth after this, the 2014 flower troupe one specifically ^-^ or maybe I'll watch a fucked up black and white movie from the 20s thats two and a half hours long, we'll see

Today we're reading chapter 53, the precursor to The most infamous chapter 54. Im not gonna lie, I kinda forgot most of what happened last time. There was a mate reveal, Rhysand was being really pathetic which made him hot to me for the first time in about 600 pages of me knowing him, Feyre was super pissed so they sent her to the mountain cabin to cool off a bit and paint, i think thats it

is it just me or is it kinda weird that Feyre is fantasizing about green grass and flowers and flowing rivers when the NC so far has been defined by being a very wintery place. Like yeah, obviously they have seasons in the solar courts but like, theres a lot of mountains which means a lot of snow, its the most nothern court etc

And Feyre didnt like winter in the first book because she associated it with bad times at the cabin so that makes sense but idk. I feel like if youre retconning her so much already you could easily wrie something about how she actually likes winter now that she has the power to withstand it or something but no, sure, have her fantasize about very spring-y weather in the book where the spring court gets demonized to hell and back why not

'[Rhysand] would give me the money for my shop, for what I was offering would cost nothing. Maybe I would sell my paintings to pay him back the money. Because I wanted to do that under any corcumstance, soulmates or not.' I was gonna write something snarky about Feyre in ACOSF but then it hit me that shes never going to have financial independance from Rhysand ever again and now Im just sad and anxious for her

(sry, im too lazy to translate this whole paragraph rn) '[Rhysand and I would do a bunch of fun stuff that couples do.] Never again someones slave or whore.' Its so wild to me that shes saying all this about the guy who made her his slave and whore MULTIPLE TIMES AT THIS POINT. like hey sarah, do you think your readers dont remember all that? do you think constantly calling back to it will make them forget somehow

Ive seen some people describe this book as gaslighting and honestly, its not even that its just lying. this story is just a bunch of lies that keep contradicting or otherwise disturbing eachother because the person telling it isnt even a good liar

Okayyyyy this chapter was a lot shorter than anticipated can you tell i dont plan these out at all but i dont feel like doing more than this and also while I was reading i got a really good idea for an Anastasia AU for a different fandom im in and I keep getting distracted and I wanna start working on it as soon as possible. And also, I'd like to be focused when I finally read that most infamous of chapters, thank you and good afternoon

[seven-stars-in-his-palm]

heyyyy💖 your wips sound amazing! Looking at 'in a west end town and dead end world like' 👀👀👀 will this be a multichap or a one shot?

And for the asks🤭 (Hope it's not too much?)

From the first one J & K and and from third one 13, 17 & 22?

HI MARI!!! i have answers for you, friend 🫵

so first off, in a west end town already has three chapter out of four out 🥹 i have one chapter left in the works, so it stilll counts as a wip?? if you'd like it to?? i CAN talk about the last remaining events tho (spoilers just in case you want to read it urself before): aziraphale and crowley's reunion. i am SO excited to show the world that bone crushing hug fr‼️ crowley has been through so much these last six years and deserves to know that aziraphale is still here and still loves him despite his mistake🫵🫵🩷 also having the reassurance that no matter what heaven or hell might do in response to all this, they'll get through it TOGETHER AND THATS ALLL THAT MATTERS pardon me. im emotional

J: What’s your favorite fanfic trope?  Have you written it?

i gotta go for them presumed dead/fake character death thangs 🗣 i will genuinely NEVER get over it, its just so MMMMMMMM. im gonna read more of them tonight actually, this has just reminded me i wanted to. and as for writing it...the closest ive done is it comes and goes and that one kid from jersey, but not exact exact. but two of my bang fics do involve it for a little while!!! 🔥🔥

K: Do you have a guilty pleasures in fic (reading or writing)?

watching characters be angry at the universe. specific, yeah, but this little trope can be molded in soooo many ways and i'll eat it up EVERY TIME!!!!!! imagine it like the "show me a great plan" scene. THAT anger, whether it be obvious or not, KILLS ME. i have crowley get close to these of moments multiple times in my fics, even if its not always noticable. sometimes that anger is masked for aziraphale. ougj

13) what’s a common writing tip that you almost always follow?

write what you have energy go at that moment? wanna write chronologically? go ahead. wanna write the climax when you havent even wrote the first scene? right-o. wanna write one scene in the second act that makes you feel all soft inside? hell yeah. do whatever you want forever!!!!!

17) what do you do when writing becomes difficult? (maybe a lack of inspiration or writers block)

step away for a while (from either a couple days or weeks), read other fics, and shower. those are usually the go-tos, because most of time whenever i cant write its due to some external force like tiredness or boredom rather than "i dont know what to write". i know what to do, i just cant DO it because it feels like miniscule progress in comparison to what i want when its meant to be finished. doing something else usually helps :)

22) are there certain types of writing you won’t do? (style, pov, genre, tropes, etc)

first person pov, accidental pregnancy, and smut are the rock solid nos, but everything else is possible (though some things need a lot more convincing than others). and that "everything else" is very fluid. i am very attached to hurt/comfort and pain tho

[azures-grace]

✨Spoilers for TES IV and V if you're reading this.✨

I saw a thing a little while ago that said that Skyrim was darker than Oblivion.

As someone's who's played more Skyrim than Oblivion, here are a few reasons why I think that's false.

Gonna start with some of the dark stuff from Skyrim

So Skyrim has it's fair share of pretty dark moments: Mercer Frey trying to murder the LDB, Astrid trying to murder the LDB but it backfires, everything with Cicero, the Namira and Boethiah quests, the entire concept of Alduin, that one Barrow in the northeast with the necrophiliac, the whole deal with the Falmer and how their souls are no longer black souls, and more I'm sure I haven't found yet.

However, most of those fit with the general aesthetic of the game. Skyrim is a cross between harsh frozen wasteland, dangerous forest, and dragon raids. Also Mercer and Astrid are part of the groups that are well outside of the law. Also also Astrid broke all the tenets already. I don't really like Astrid.

On the other hand, you've got Oblivion, and I think I'll start with the Blackwood Company.

So in the fighters guild questline, the HOK joins the Blackwood Company to infiltrate it and like, see what's going on. They get sent on this mission and have to drink this hist sap that makes them think that they're killing goblins when they're actually killing the townsfolk.

You want darker? It gets darker.

I'm not entirely sure where this next one comes from, but some random dark elf dies in front of you after trying to be crowned king or something. He just straight up gets electrocuted by the Ayleid chair.

additionally, Oblivion has it's main call to fame: the literal realm of Oblivion. If you've played the game, there's really not much need to explain. If not, there's just random corpses hanging around, there's these things called something along the lines of "the punished". It's quite literally just flesh bags filled with loot.

The main quest itself is filled with dark themes, which makes sense-- you're stopping a cult trying to bring about the end of the world. The cave thing under Mankar Camoren's Paradise is full of people being tortured by being submerged in lava but they don't die. It seems that even those who were loyal to the Mythic Dawn are not safe from the Savage Garden.

This one's a random detail, but there's a alchemist in Leyawiin who wants to know the fine for necrophilia. Apparently it's less than Morrowind.

Corvus Umbranox was kept from his home and family because of the cowl of the Grey Fox and his wife almost arrested him when he tried to return to her. Their reunion was very sweet aside from that.

To close this out, I'd like to turn to the Dark Brotherhood from Oblivion. Throw out Astrid and her failed betrayal, let's talk about how Mathieu Bellamont almost succeeded in wiping the entire Brotherhood out. This gets its own group of sections. I really like the Dark Brotherhood and I'll probably go into that rabbit hole later.

To kick it off, let's start with the Purification. I think it's implied that Bellamont was the reason the Purification in the Cheydinhal sanctuary happened. So that's killing off everyone who trusted you.

Secondly, you have the dead drops. After the first two of those, you're just killing off members of the Black Hand.

After that is the murder of Lucien Lachance. I don't think I'll ever forget walking into Applewatch the first time. And then Bellamont kills two more people before getting killed himself.

Random side note, but Ungolim put up a heck of a fight when I tried to kill him. I think he knew he was next.

I've skipped over the Daedric quests, maybe I'll do something comparing the ones in Oblivion to those in Skyrim later, but Namira's was pretty gnarly.

Anywho, if you read all of this, thank you!

[cherri-tomato]

Gentle hands

pairing: Bakugou x Kirishima

summary: Kirishima needs a haircut, and Bakugou just so happens to know how to cut hair

CW: brief mention of Bakugou having a trauma related panic attack but its not very descriptive

word count: 2,658

a/n: this is the first kiribaku fic ive written but i love them so much :'3

cross posted on AO3

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

“You really need a damn haircut, shitty hair.”

Bakugou says one day while the two study for an upcoming test, well, maybe study wasn't the right word, and not because Kirishima spent very little time looking at his paper and a lot of time looking at Bakugou, although that could explain why Bakugou had to “study” with him in the first place, no, study wouldn't be the right word because that would imply they were both assisting each other, this was more of a tutoring session, one with a very angry tutor and a very distracted student. 

Kirishima looks up from the textbook he was pretending to read with a pout, “what's wrong with my hair?” which was a silly question because Bakugou often told him how “shitty” his spiked up hair was, this felt different though, because Kirishima's hair was down today, shaggy red strands loose and straight, falling in his eyes and getting in his mouth. Okay, so maybe he did need a haircut, but his hair looked better when he styled it anyways and that required his hair to be long enough to style, normally, this wouldn't have been an issue, if he hadn't run out of the gel he uses, his hair would be up and spiky in all its “shitty” glory. 

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Bakugou says, his voice isn't as aggressive as his harsh words would make you think, though, like everything Bakugou does, he has to sound and look as pissed off as possible, even when the situation doesn't require such a tone. Kirishima was used to this by now, Bakugou's harsh words were like water off a duck's back after being friends with the fiery blonde hero-to-be. 

Kirishima lifts a piece of his dyed hair up and looks up at it, which wasn't hard considering it was already long enough to be in his face, “Maybe it's a bit long…but it doesn't look that bad, does it?” he looks to Bakugou again, his red eyes wide and his lower lip pushed out in a pout seemingly without the red head's knowledge, Bakugou scoffs, averting his gaze back to the notes laid out in front of him. Kirishima often reminded him of a lost puppy, sitting on your doorstep and silently begging to come inside and eat all of your meat, he thought this to be  especially true when he pouts like that. 

“You can barely see dumbass.” which was true, despite the fact Kirishima had spent nearly the entire time looking at Bakugou, his view would frequently be obstructed by his own mass of hair stabbing him in the eyes. Bakugou, despite being focused on actually being productive, was seemingly even more distracted with Kirishima's hair than Kirishima himself, everytime the red haired boy would blow it out of his face, or jolt in surprise as the ends of his hair poked him in the eyes, Bakugou noticed, and he was sick of this distraction. 

What Bakugou would not admit too, is the fact he was distracted by Kirishima's hair for completely different reasons as well, and this was for one simple fact that pissed Bakugou off most of all,

 Kirishima Eijiro, looked fucking hot with his hair down.

And that was worse than the constant sound of Kirishima floundering to spit the hair out of his mouth, although that was pretty distracting as well. 

Kirishima whines, lying his head down on the table in front of him, his hair falling in front of his face, “I know.” He says, and Bakugou can tell from his voice that he's still pouting. Bakugou sighs in annoyance, standing up and heading towards his bathroom. Kirishima, still slumped over the table, turns his head to look at Bakugou, “what are you doing?” he asks as the blonde disappears behind the wall.

“I'm gonna cut your damn hair” He tells him, and Kirishima blinks in surprise. Standing, Kirishima walks to the door of Bakugou's tiny dorm bathroom, where Bakugou is rummaging through the small bag of toiletries he brings to and from UA whenever he leaves for the weekend. Kirishima watches him in confusion for a moment before Bakugou retrieves a small pair of scissors from the bag and grabs a towel from the shelf next to his sink. As Bakugou turns to the bathroom door and begins to leave, he grabs hold of Kirishima's upper arm and pulls him over to his desk, where he sits him down and places the towel over his neck and the back of Bakugou's desk chair. 

“Do you uh, know what you're doing?” Kirishima asks him, the thought of Bakugou, completely untrained in hair cutting, putting a sharp object so close to Kirishima was a worrying one. Bakugou scoffs, scowling as if this was a pain for him despite being the one who suggested it, “Of course dumbass, I cut my own.” 

Which surprised Kirishima, not just because the amount of patience and precision associated with cutting one's hair seemed to directly clash with Bakugou’s aggressive and explosive ( pun very much intended ) nature , but because it looked good, like really good. Kirishima must have shown his thoughts in his expression, that or Bakugou could read him like a book with no cover, because he scowls at Kirishima like he insulted him and if Kirishima was looking closely ( and he did whenever the angry blonde was involved) it almost looked like Bakugou was pouting.

Kirishima shakes his head, taking care not to shake off the towel with it, “sorry man! I'm just surprised since it looks so well done!” he exclaims, which seemed to be the wrong response because Bakugou glares at him “And what!? You don't think I can do something as simple as cutting some hair!?” Kirishima sighs, smiling fondly at his friend, “Sorry dude, it was supposed to be a compliment.” He says.

 Bakugou scoffs, bringing the scissors up to Kirishima's hair and using his free hand to adjust his head so he was looking straight ahead. “Whatever, just stay still or I'll cut it all off.” He threatens, and Kirishima suppresses a chuckle because there wasn't any weight to it, which was obvious from the calm, almost affectionate tone Bakugou had said it in. Bakugou's hands are gentle, running through Kirishima's hair and cutting the strands with practiced ease.

 “Why do you cut your own hair?” Kirishima asks, partially because he's genuinely curious but also because he needs something to distract himself from the feeling of Bakugou's calloused fingers brushing against his neck as he works. Bakugou doesnt answer for a long moment, he knows why, but explaining it would be a pain, because the reason Bakugou started cutting his own hair was because the feeling of someone touching his neck made him sick.

 It was shortly after the sludge villain incident that his mother told him he needed a haircut, he hadn't said much about what had happened and his parents didn't push, figuring he just needed time. So, not wanting to leave the house and force her grumpy son to a hair salon, Mitsuki Bakugou had decided she would just cut his hair like she had done when he was a little boy who refused to let a stranger touch his hair. Bakugou, who just wanted to appease his mother and return to his room, allowed her to sit him down and cut his hair, but, just as her gentle hand brushed his neck, Bakugou had a panic attack.

 after he ran off, his parents attempted to talk to him about it to little success, that night, Bakugou cut his own hair for the first time, he also cut his finger, despite this, he felt better when it was his own hand near his neck, so he practiced whenever he needed a haircut and never looked back. 

That would be a mouthful though and would most likely lead to a conversion about feelings and crap, so instead, Bakugou simply responds: “I don't like my neck being touched.” 

And that was enough for Kirishima, who may not know all that much about what had happened before UA, but did know what happened during when Bakugou was kidnapped by the league of villains, and that was all the context he needed to know Bakugou didn't want to discuss it further, so he drops the topic and begins to ramble on about something stupid Kaminari did, hoping this would take his friends mind off what was troubling him.

 Bakugou isn't really paying attention, but he appreciates the thought, although he'd never say that out loud. 

After a good 15 minutes of snipping away and 15 minutes of Kirishima talking about every little thing that came to mind, other than of course, the thoughts about how good Bakugou's rough hands feel against his skin, because that would be weird right? 

Bakugou's hand ,the one that isn't holding scissors, brushes the pieces of red hair off the towel and onto the floor, Kirishima opens his eyes and looks up at Bakugou “Are you done already?” He asks, trying not to sound disappointed. Bakugou shakes his head, moving to stand in front of Kirishima, standing between him and the desk.

“Only the back.” he says, reaching forward and gently pushing some of Kirishima's hair out of his face, Kirishima holds his breath as Bakugou's fingers brush his forehead. squeezing his eyes shut to avoid looking him in the eyes, Kirishima grips the armrest of Bakugou's desk chair “j-just don't cut too much off okay?” he says with an awkward chuckle and Bakugou hums in agreement as he lifts the scissors to once again begin cutting. 

Bakugou's eyes threaten to wander, to trace every line and detail of Kirishima's face, but since he is in fact holding a sharp object, and because said object is dangerously close to Kirishima, he forces himself to focus on cutting his hair and not on admiring his pretty face. 

His movements remain confident and precise, the front of Kirishima's hair isn't as layered and takes less time to cut, to Kirishima however, it takes even longer. 

As bakugou's slender fingers work diligently on his hair, Kirishima desperately tries to conceal just how much he enjoys their current closeness, which was much easier when his back was to the blonde and he couldn't see Kirishima's flustered expression. Bakugou places the scissors on his desk and uses his hands to ruffle Kirishima's hair, causing little bits of cut red hair to fall onto the towel Kirishima opens his eyes, laughing happily from the surprisingly affectionate gesture. 

Looking up at Bakugou, he notices the small smile on his lips, one that anyone who hadn't spent so many study sessions staring at him, would have thought was a smirk, but Kirishima had in fact spent so many study sessions, and classes, and walks to the dorm, and late nights in the kitchen together, and afternoons training, looking at him, so when Bakugou smiled, as rare a sight it may be, Kirishima could tell. 

Bakugou was hard to read, but Kirishima wasn't, atleast to Bakugou, who had also spent so many study sessions, and classes, and walks to the dorm, and late nights in the kitchen together, and afternoons training, looking at Kirishima.

 And maybe it was because they could both read each other so well that when Kirishima's eyes dart to Bakugou's lips, and Bakugou sucks in a sharp breath, they both know what the other wants.

Then, with only a slight moment of hesitation, they're kissing. Bakugou, with hands still in Kirishima's hair, pulls him closer, as close as one can possibly pull someone who's still seated without pulling them right out of the chair, And Kirishima, with eyes squeezed shut, wraps his arms around Bakugous waist, pulling him closer as well, as close as you can possibly pull someone whos standing while staying seated without pulling them right down on top of you. 

But it's pretty hard to kiss the person you're,most likely, in love with while both trying not to pull the other so close you fall over, and even though Kirishima, whos dizzy from the lack of air, thinks he probably wouldn't mind tumbling to the ground with Bakugou, the floor is still covered with snippets of his hair, and even though he's sure any kiss with Bakugou will be perfect, he doesnt think its something Bakugou would appreciate, so instead, Kirishima stands, the towel falling to the floor and the chair screeching as it moves back, but luckily doesn't fall, from the force of this movement. 

Bakugou lets out a soft gasp in surprise as his back gently bumps against his desk, and Kirishima, who is not standing a few inches above Bakugou, moves his hands from his waist to his face, cupping his cheeks in his hands and pushing himself impossibly closer to Bakugou, who’s arms wrap around Kirishima's neck. They stay like this, making out against Bakugou's desk, until their need for air becomes too apparent to ignore and they both pull away reluctantly, both boys gasping for the air they've denied their lungs of in favor of indulging in each other. 

Kirishima, giddy from the kiss (and lack of oxygen), laughs happily, his nose bumping Bakugou's cheek, which Kirishima has let go of to wrap his arms around Bakugou's middle once again. 

Bakugou, panting and flushed, presses a kiss to Kirishima's cheek, Kirishima pulls away just enough to look at him, still grinning and hair messy, presses kisses to Bakugou's face in quick succession before planting another sweet kiss to his lip, which are red from their previous kiss. 

This time, the kiss is soft and lacks the urgency the first one had, instead it was slow and loving, and Bakugou can't decide which he likes better, but he guesses, now that they had kissed, they could always do it again so he didn't have to choose.

 Kirishima pulls away slowly and, with eyes still closed, he rests his forehead against Bakugou’s “I like you so much Bakugou….” He says softly, his voice delicate, and Bakugou thinks it's kind of a silly thing to say because Kirishima is way to sentimental to kiss someone he didn't have feelings for, but he doesn't laugh, or point this out, because Kirishima is so sentimental and so vulnerable right now, Bakugou thinks it would be cruel. 

So instead he kisses Kirishima’s forehead and says, “Katsuki,You should call me Katsuki.” Kirishima opens his eyes, eyes which seem to sparkle when they meet Bakugou's “you know,” Bakugou Continues, “Now that we’re dating.” And Kirishima, whose bright eyes widen in surprise, smiles so sweetly, so lovingly, that Bakugou doesn't think he’ll ever grow tired of looking at.

Kirishima kisses him again, though he's still grinning, and Bakugou's smiling, so it's less of a kiss and more of an affectionate head bump of sorts, but they both think it's perfect, and Bakugou mutters a quiet “I like you too.” in between kisses, and then because of who they both are, and because Kirishima can never seem to keep his mouth shut around Bakugou, he says, 

“I think I swallowed a lot of hair, do you think the dye will make me sick?”

And even though Bakugou, who rarely smiled, and cursed like a sailor, and called Kirishima “shitty hair” more than his actual name, was pretty sure that was the least romantic thing he could have possibly said in that moment, he was even more sure he never wanted Kirishima to stop saying anything and everything that came into his brain, because Bakugou was probably in love and because Kirishima needed someone to answer every stupid question, even if he never paid attention to the answer because he was too distracted by Bakugou, and they both thought that they were happy for that fact, and of course for the fact that Kirishma Eijiro refused to cut his “shitty hair” for so long.