#or maybe i'm reaching idk
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GIRL I FORGOT THERE WAS GONNA BE A NEW FIRED UP (also it being led by eliza and bree is such a choice)
#kylee sounds so good omg#okay also it being half led by eliza has to be because bonzo can't sing in english cause why would the non-captain lead the practice#or maybe i'm reaching idk#zombies#disney zombies#zombies the re animated series#zombies re animated#zombies: the re animated series#eliza zambi#bree zombies#venux watches zombies: the re animated series
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if this gets 100 notes i'll make art of my oc based on my favorite plushie
#i mean i could do it anyway but i'm too adhd to do that#so idk maybe if this actually gets to 100 notes i'll do it#but that probably won't happen because i have like negative reach#oc#my ocs
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Egghead chibs lesgooo ✌️✨
#My art#One Piece#OP manga spoilers#Egghead spoilers#I had sticker sheets of these chibs. They sold out at my last convention. Whoops#I'll probably reorder them though for my next convention and whatever I have left over will go on my Ko-Fi shop afterwards#Also yes the Cross Guild chibs also come on this sticker sheet. Because there was room for them#For the record the actual sticker sheet looks like a fucking MESS. I wanted max size but that means organizing them weirdly so they all fit#That Kuma sticker is probably my favorite thing I've ever drawn. Probably. Maybe.#The Loof is very high up there too. IDK why Luffy is so fucking hard to draw but he is so I'm very pleased with his chib#I have reached the ''Do Not Repost watermark'' era of my life it seems#Was gonna have more of those so they'd cover all the fucking chibs so people wouldn't use 'em as profile pics but#I gave up I hate watermarking my work man. Like I don't want to cover shit up when I spent so much time drawing it#But also I hate it when people just grab my shit to use as their profile pics like c'mon man#Anyway yeah the OP Brainrot is still Very Very Real
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"I had to save them"
Rest in peace, Liam. Your sacrifice will never be forgotten. 😔✊
I finally finished this, YAY! This animatic is a mix of digital and traditional art. I definitely learned a lot of tricks while making this (also, can you notice the slight difference between art styles??).
This animatic singlehandedly explains what happened to JD after his mom sacrificed him. He was definitely ready to accept his faith until he discovered Branch's was with him (which almost gave him a panic attack). It was a good thing that everyone decided to help him, and Liam (a troll around his age, maybe older?) helped him escape.
For more context about my au check this post!
I obviously don't own the audio, only the animatic. "Bruno is Orange" by Hop Along featuring Francis Quinlan, so credits to them. Here's the link
#Idk why I gave Liam a name#but I think he deserve it cuz he suffered#he might live#maybe#idk#also-- the running animation is SO hard to make HAHAHHA#I legit had to use my brainpower for this and constantly check if what I'm making is okay#but even with the challenges I enjoyed making this#the result is very satisfying and I can't believe I did it#I swear to you guys this animatic has been stuck on my mind for WEEKS so I finally decided to try my hand on this type of animation and#bring my daydream to life#trolls#dreamworks trolls#john dory#trolls band together#trolls 3#trolls au#trolls john dory#branch trolls#trolls branch#Beyond Reach au#BR!JD#BR!Branch#BR!Liam
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tbh, 'saving' the villains in bnha feels a lot more like exorcism. (but worse.) There's a nearly-inhuman evil that's threatening to destroy everything; it turns out that this evil arose from some great human tragedy that occurred in the past; 'saving' is solely saving the heart, the spirit, the soul - by reminding the villain of things like family, love, friendship, giving them a moment of clarity; then the villain dies for good and leaves the world in peace, because it's too late to address or repair the tragedy, too late to ever make them part of the world again; and the living are left with a bittersweet sense of 'gee, that sure was sad' and 'if only the tragedy didn't occur/things were different', but there's nothing to do except 'I won't forget them'.
And like those are fine - in a story about lingering spirits and exorcism. I'm thinking like Kurosagi Corpse Delivery Service, Dandadan, the new Gegege no Kitaro movie. The dangerous and destructive spirits in those stories often have been terribly wronged by social injustice that they rise from the dead full of rage and seeking indiscriminate vengeance. No duh these spirits have to be stopped, and they are, by the main characters. They're sometimes stopped by a fight, yeah, but also by appeasing the wounded soul by treating them as human again - particularly when these main characters aren't actually exorcists, nor are people who have anything to do with the grudge, just people who stumbled upon this cursed scenario but feel the need to help out of human compassion.
The thing is - when the spirits disappear into air, it's fine because they were dead all along. There's nothing else to do except move on. I don't think it's fine at all for the Villains of HeroAca to kill themselves or die - basically saying there's no place for them in the world anymore (because the heroes aren't willing to create one) so they need to also move on to the next.
It's fine for the heroic characters of exorcism stories just simply say 'I won't forget' and just feel sad about the tragedy they just discovered. Simply being there as witness. They aren't official/legal guardians of society, not like the Pro-Heroes of HeroAcaLand. They have no obligation or duty they signed up for. Meanwhile, pro-Heroes do. they should be addressing societal injustice head-on, looking for the causes of tragedies that create villains and preventing them; should've been doing that all along, or at the very least realize that during the final act (and not afterwards - and barely at that.) failing to do so means they failed in the final battle, and so didn't actually win, and especially not be called "greatest heroes."
"Supernatural Evil is created from much more mundane but just as soul-crushing evil, and it is a profound tragedy, and we gotta deal with this concentrated accumulation of hatred, pain, resentment, usually by righting a wrong/destroying the source of mundane evil/giving the spirit peace." Great! but because bnha is not a ghost exorcism story and the protags are explicitly heroes who are supposed to save people (and also have a degree of control over whether tragedy occurs in the society they preside over), it's not even a good and satisfying ghost exorcism story
#I can't believe the final lesson of bnha is#'let's keep reaching out when it's none of our business'#i get that works for like the readers#but it doesn't work at all as a lesson to the professional Heroes characters#it is their fucking business#nalslastworkingbraincell#messy thoughts#idk maybe i'm understanding ghost stories wrong
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I was cleaning up some broken links on my old silly Pokemon fansite, the Neglected Pokemon Lovers Unite (NPLU), and I realized that it has now been open for 25 years. TWENTY. FIVE. YEARS. That is an ASTONISHING amount of time for a site to stay open! Even if the last substantial update was like back in 2009 lol. The world around it has changed so much, but I think it's still valuable as a time capsule of a certain time on the internet. I wrote up a new essay about it on the site and did some general clean-up here and there.
Anyway to that end, since so much of the fic and art there is so old, I decided to compare Radic's oldest form to his newest! Radic was always a human boy but I just couldn't draw humans at the time so I made him a furry lol. Eventually I figured it out.
I also thought it'd be a neat challenge to mimic my own style back when it was really wonky and bad. And it was! It was kind of fun actually. I don't have too many shots of Radic from back then (it was hard to get art on the internet in the late 90's-early 00's), but I do have a few - hugging Kitsune, two old kiribans if you want to compare. I had a lot more old shots of Parasects though to reference unsurprisingly, they were very triangular lol. I think I did a pretty good job of matching what my art used to look like. I had a clear see-through Gameboy back in the day if you can't tell what Radic is holding lol.
("Isn't Radic the faceless avatar of your gamer self as depicted in Handplates-" yes, but Pokemon!Radic is the only one that actually became his own character, all the rest are shells)
If you do go poking around the NPLU, please keep in mind that almost everything there is very old and most of the fic and art is pretty bad (and shockingly violent). Plz do not judge me! My younger self was a cringey weeb but she was trying very hard. :<
[patreon]
#pokemon#z art#radic#callima#parasect#man i haven't drawn a parasect in ages i forgot how fun it is#my crabshroom babies#i always get tempted to just delete all the links to my old art but people always tell me not to#they like seeing it?? which always baffles me but i'm trying to accept that there's something worthwhile about them lol#radic is blind so he's not using the switch he's just holding it#maybe for red? idk#there was this odd stretch where i was using dot eyes#then switched to big anime eyes#then smaller anime eyes#then back to dots again#time is a circle...#i also used to use ^_^ CONSTANTLY#thus the ^_^ by old radic there#i've seen a lot of old web trends get revived but not hit awards/kiribans#for some reason#hit counters sure webring sure affiliates sure awards and adoptables sure#but celebratory things for reaching a hit marker? haven't seen a lot of those lately
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shirahama-sensei reminded me she has a thing for the teacher from pokemon s/v so i randomly went off on an au where qifrey is the professor. etc
#witch hat tag#orufrey#the first image is qifrey dressed as that guy. i'm glad she has an inexplicable attachment to some dorky pokemon man like i do#someone was like 'wouldn't it make more sense for deanreldea to be the champion' .... well no. not in my world .#it maps onto magic skill. champions aren't like the Rulers of the land they're just the most skilled at this thing#oru as a burnt out champion who's gently encouraging a kid like coco to reach him one day means a lot to me. i like pokemon narratives#agott went shiny hunting for the same thing coco had but cooler - just to impress her. she really is a pokemon rival type girl#pushing myself to the limit to prove my worth to you - to get to the summit first so i'm waiting for you..#and then realising it wasn't just to be strong - i realised i started wanting to see your smile. i wanted you to have fun.#i think coco would defeat agott at the end of victory road and then defeat oru & i'll probably draw one last thing abt that at least..#the image is very cinematic..the dialogue and music in my mind..I WANT TO FACE ORU!!!!!!!!!!#the super cool insanely powerful awesome champion is the spouse of my professor and he gave me advice at the beginning...no way....#btw the elite four would be the sages which is perfect (and maybe easthies as the first guy?) evil Team Brimhats#coustas as their renegade gladion-type figure. the gym leaders would be like sun/moon and s/v combined#travelling around facing the best students from different classes - so jujy and eunie etc.#i've barely thought about 'teams' or anything bc i care amore about the narrative side of things always lol#but idk. tetia with a swirlix - eunie would be ghost type boy - riche with small things but also a ceruledge or a steelix something massiv#and brushbug would have a final form which is really long like an eastern dragon- fluffy and with wings like a fairy. It's beautiful to me#well anyway *tries to move on to the rest of life now the brief obsession has passed*#obviously oru would be fire-type tho and qifrey would be water-type and they set off together and traded their starters etc.....it goes on
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so like. oliver wants power and privilege, right? we all understand that, okay? good. oliver was born into relative privilege as the son of a middle class family who gets into the most prestigious university in the world. he will probably get a good job and make money and become upper middle class. he'll retain his relative privilege and probably get to exercise power over working class and poor people. but that's not enough. he's not the most privileged, the most powerful. he's surrounded by people who are of a higher social class than he is and they're beautiful and magnetic and they'll never have to work a single day in their lives and neither will their children or their children's children all because their great great great great great great great times seventeen grandfather owned the land where serfs farmed and then his great great something grandkids invested the inheritance in the colonies and the slave trade and now they do nothing but they're always the most powerful person in the room. that's the kind of person oliver is surrounded by at oxford and ESPECIALLY at saltburn, and no matter how much money he eventually makes the only land his family owns is a two storey house in the north of england. he wants that kind of power and privilege and it is completely unattainable except through birth. is that clear now or
#it was clear in the movie but still somehow it's not getting through to a lot of people so?#i thought i'd clear things up. you're welcome.#saltburn#similarly farleigh IS born into it technically but still can't quite reach it bc of his race and nationality. they're foils.#does this make sense? does this surface level reading of the text of the film make sense? idk i've only seen it once maybe i'm wrong!!#i've only seen it once but that's more than most apparently
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youre not allowed to b a freak loser loner anymore or at least youre not allowed to mention it lol. even like five years ago you could talk about being awkward and socially weird around meeting new people but now if you do that eveeryones like "ok edgelord you are deliberately cutting yourself off from community why are you so obsessed with being alone. you all need to go outside and make real friends you are too online." which like yes obviously but why is eveyrone acting like the only two options are you either a) have a load of friends or b) you don't want them??? it is so weird. to be seen trying & failing has become so taboo that people assume if you're alone it's because you want to be and youre trying to be cool & aloof or else you see things like small talk or reaching out to people as "emotional labour" and choose not to do them. like i am not fucking choosing not to do them i literally try to do them every day and find it very hard and then you tell me i can't even joke about that struggle or being a lonely friendless loser to maybe for one second make light of the bottomless pit of disconnect + loneliness i experience every day without someone blaming me for not putting myself out there. idk
#as i'm typing this i'mrealising maybe this is an autism problem. like to feel completely separated from the social world by this pane of#thick glass your whole life and then to hear people say it's a you problem that you need to fix if you don't want to be alone forever#idk just that post going around about small talk 'i have social anxiety' 'then suck it up and learn how to interact with people!' like??#arent we trying to do that already??? i'm sorry that being percieved as a social reject freak my whole life might have negatively affected#my ability to reach out to people? it just feels mean spirited lol. idk. anyway
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Tell me you don't play indie games without telling me you don't play indie games.
#indie games#video games#youtube#aaa games#wow maybe if you play games that aren't made with the player experience in mind they are boring!#wow if I play games that hinder skill expression i have less fun!#wow when I play games and look up how to play it optimally I'm bored!#idk man maybe the games you play suck#play indie games im literally begging you to play better games#they're cheaper and a better bang for their buck just play indie games#even though nintendo still tends to make some amazing stuff they're still trash compared to the heights indie games reach nowadays#play some damn indie games#maybe some middleware games too
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Catra: Some day I'll tell you guys about the time I stabbed the cop.
Glimmer: Oh my God, Catra.
Catra: He stabbed me first!
#spop#incorrect spop quotes#she ra and the princesses of power#spop incorrect quotes#incorrect she ra quotes#catra#adora#she ra incorrect quotes#she ra spop#catradora#since I don't seem to be able to maintain the headspace to post with a modicum of consistency#I've decided I'm going to use the outreach I've developed on this blog for good#and continuously queue up spop posts to be spread#maybe it'll help folks reach more people idk#the queue tag will be 'i am not queuete!' as an. obvious reference.#anyway that's my update#happy blogging everyone!
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GUYS. Suwon has hiryuu's blood. But yona is his reincarnation only, she doesn't have his blood.
That means if suwon is about to go where yona is, there is this big possibility he is the one who will sacrifice for hiryuu's blood to return from earth, and to end the curse
#idk maybe i'm thinking so much#but. i believe no way that medallion stayed there only for hak and suwon to look at it#maybe they can reach yona yeah. but I'm not sure about the sacrifice part#so take it with grain of salt#akatsuki no yona#yona 261#cause i don't know HOW will hiryuu's blood will return as the prophecy said other than that without killing the heroin off.#soowon
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I think i finally understand how the Distortion works. I mean, i don’t think it’s possible to ever fully understand it, and i don’t know the whole picture yet because i don’t know what Helen will be like, but i feel like i’ve just been granted a glimpse at the lovecraftian (as in ineffable) thing that is this being.
It’s not a person and a creature fighting inside one mind. There’s no Michael clawing himself to the surface to express his emotions and get his revenge.
Michael Shelley is dead. The Distortion became Michael. It sounds so simple, yet a least in my opinion it’s hard to fully understand.
I think what provides the best metaphor is a small thing the Distortion says after becoming Helen: "without a proper mind." The Distortion does not have its own mind. It’s only a what, but in order to really exist in this reality, it needs a who. It needs a body, but also a mind.
So if i understand this right, it’s like this: Michael Shelley is dead. His conciousness is not there anymore. And the Distortion got forced into that mind, an empty mind of a dead person. This doesn’t make it human, it’s still able to understand the impossible, it’s still the thing that was created to scare and kill. But in the mind it’s living in�� the previous owner’s furniture is still there. It gets the dead person’s memories. It becomes Michael, in the sense that it has to be someone. Its existence got tied to being Michael, although Michael Shelley is dead.
When Michael got "emotional", that wasn’t Michael Shelley coming through. It was the Distortion grappling with the side effects of being someone - of living in a mind with all the memories and the human emotions that a human mind can’t fully turn off, even when the thing inhabiting it isn’t human at all.
The Distortion was Michael in the sense that it was thinking with Michael Shelley’s mind. When it became Helen, its consciousness, its being stayed the same, but it needed to adapt to this new mind. It could see clearer now, realizing that the windows of the previous house had been dirty, realizing that the wirings of the previous mind had driven it to do something that it actually didn’t want to do. The throat of the Spiral itself getting caught in the spiralling of its own, borrowed mind.
#here comes the first michael essay#this is only the start#i've still got so many more thoughts#i hope this makes sense#idk why but i think i get how the distortion feels#being forced to be someone who isn't you at all#like - it doesn't make sense but i get it??#okay i haven't watched doctor who but maybe it's kinda like being the doctor?#you kinda change personality and become someone else but your true being stays the same?#(as if anyone of us knew what it's like being the doctor any more than we know what it's like being the distortion lol)#tma#michael distortion#tma the distortion#helen distortion#the magnus archives#tma podcast#tma spoilers#tma thoughts#mag 101#another twist#michael shelley#i just realized i've probably spelled michael wrong in the tags before oops (i know how it's spelled but “micheal” keeps popping up so...)#you know what i'm gonna put the wrong version too for reach#micheal distortion
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In Defense of Bill Williamson: A Curious Case Of Hear Me OUT-
Warning: this post contains mentions of rape, homophobia, and period typical attitudes.
The first time I played RDR2, I was very curious and went into Sonny's cabin. If you know, you know.
I was horrified over learning what happened to Arthur and the shock of it all was impalpable. The fact that Rockstar put in such an encounter was diabolical, but either way, it happened, and I was pissed and heartbroken for Arthur. Out of all the encounters that happened in this game, all the awful encounters, this is the only one that did not get a journal entry- mostly likely due to the trauma of getting raped and the shame of it as well- let us not forget that Arthur is a man, a very tough and burly man, living in 1899 America. The likelihood that there would be any support for him is nigh on none.
I fed Sonny to the alligators (obviously) later and more or less forgot about it because I avenged my Arthur.
Then Bill came along.
"I met a guy at the swamp who seemed to know a lot about you. I mean A LOT about you…"
I was pissed and it was the first time in the game that I heard pure, unadulterated hatred in Arthur's voice as he more or less growled at Bill to go away. From then on, I always antagonized Bill for seemingly mocking Arthur like that for getting raped.
But then I played again and again and played Red Dead 1 too and learned that Bill is gay. Even though it isn't said outright, it is implied so heavily that it would be laughable to suggest that he liked women.
So after a while, my reaction to Bill's words changed. I pity him now.
Now I know what you are thinking- Heytham, how the hell can you pity a man who mocked a fucking rape victim?
Because I don't think Bill thought Arthur was raped.
Here is how I came to this conclusion (feel free to disagree with me, but here is how I came to this conclusion):
Being a homosexual in the 1800s was a very isolating and daunting experience, with the threat of jail time and even death. Society was super judgemental and cruel to people who did not fit into what was expected of them, so being a homosexual would feel like hell on Earth because there wasn't a real way to express this attraction beyond longing and secrecy, which would make finding other gay people hard to do.
Beyond just isolation, homosexual actions can ruin careers, which we can assume is one of the reasons that Bill got dishonorably discharged ("deviancy") alongside attempted murder. Crazy to think that "deviancy" is on the same level of attempted murder and was probably shamed more, but that is neither here nor there.
Even the gang wasn't really accepting of Bill's sexuality, which speaks a lot about the gang's supposedly "progressive politics", as they aren't really politically progressive and more so idealistic in the romantic standards of 1800s America. In terms of Bill's sexuality, it felt more like a outta sight, outta mind sort of deal. Bill is the butt of jokes and his sexuality is too ("Is he gonna kiss that guy or punch him", "Bill and Phil", "He likes to do a lot of things with men on their knees (RDR1- John says it to purposely shame Bill more to the people he works with)")).
When his sexuality seems to be a bit more upfront, there is agression and disgust. The biggest example of this is Arthur's reaction to Bill wanting hair pomade. He sounds disgusted and mean and the sneer in his "Yeah, I'll get you your hair pomade…" is very telling that Arthur thinks that Bill is asking him for pomade for gay sex because of the way he reacts to it- he already has a disposition to thinking this is why Bill wants the pomade and it disgusts him, even though he does it anyways.
To give Arthur the benefit of the doubt, I'd be pretty weirded out if someone asked me for lube, but Arthur didn't know if that is what Bill actually wants. He could very well just need it for a job that requires him to look nice, which happens in the ball mission. The point is that he had a disposition and that disposition made him react in not only a bewildered way but a disgusted way. Im serious, just listen to that interaction- I don't think I am reaching.
In any case, it is quite obvious that Bill feels isolated and that isolation makes him awkward and aggressive around men that he does like (Kieran) and overall just angry at the world because of it, amongst other things. He has no one to talk to, no one to relate to, and he is shunned and despaired over something he cannot control.
So then Bill meets Sonny and whatever the hell they did together, Sonny talks about Arthur, and let us be real, what is the likelihood that he would flat out tell Bill that he raped Arthur? Low, I'd think. Most likely, he would just say that the two of them had sex.
Now think about this- Bill has mostly likely lived his entire life hiding his sexuality and only expressing it in secret because if he does otherwise, he will be punished in some form or another. But now he learns that another man in camp, the fucking enforcer of all people, has apparently went to this man for sex.
Do you realize what this means for a gay person? Especially a gay person who lives in a society that actively discourages and punishes same-sex relations? It doesn't necessarily mean that that person would try to drum up a relationship, but there is comfort in the fact that now you know another person who is experiencing the same thing you are- the solidarity in that is priceless. I would know, I come from a culture that still kills gay people.
When Bill comes up to Athur, he genuinely sound giddy, like he found a big secret. There wasn't really any malice in his voice, other than a "haha, guess what I just found out" sort of tone.
When Arthur tells him to get out of there, he didn't seem offended. He didn't seem annoyed or aggressive, which is unusual for Bill. He just puts his hands up in surrender and goes off, almost as if he was saying "hey, I get it man," in the sense that a man during this time period, especially a man like Arthur, wouldn't want to be found out as gay. Internalized homophobia was definietly rampant.
He genuinely doesn't seem to have malice in that tone- Bill only talks like that when he is either excited or happy or acting like a human being. And at this point in the game, Bill still respected Arthur, so I doubt he would want to step on his toes, especially in a way like that.
If I am not talking out of my ass, this could be such a great moment of character development for Bill- sympathy for another man supposedly like him in the world that they lived in. Fucking Bill having sympathy and empathy- who would've thought.
Or he could be mocking Arthur for being a rape victim because Bill is genuinely a piece of shit.
But on the off chance that he does not? What an interesting microcosm of LGBTQ+ dynamics in 1899 America.
In any case, FUCK SONNY AND DONT GET INVITED INTO HOUSES IN THE SWAMPS-
#rdr2#red dead redemption 2#arthur morgan#bill williamson#character analysis#story analysis#is this a reach?#idk#maybe I'm just projecting cuz of the culture i grew up in#but in any case#poor arthur man
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Only 5% of college students with ADHD graduate. A statistic that's disheartening on my good days and terrifying on my bad ones. Still, I know that I (and many others!) have so, so much to offer in my field of work once I get past all the hurdles of getting a higher education.
Hang in there, fellow ADHD students, I see you and I love you.
#art#adhd#comic#fully embracing the bad drawing style at this point because we're working on Finishing instead of Perfecting#(and also I'm not an artist. so.)#idk if this reaches anyone but I drew this to pull myself out of my head when it comes to school funk and maybe it'll help someone else?#anywho turns out that I LOVE drawing actually because it's the only creative expression where I don't feel like it has to be Good#it can just Be#(because I'm still a beginner and I have no expectations of myself)#I hope I never get better because I don't want this to become the way writing has become#original art#bad comic#bad art#but said with love!!!!!
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Saiouma Puella Magi AU, but Kokichi takes Madoka's role and Shuichi takes Homura's.
For one, Kokichi's too naturally distrustful to just hear "I can grant you any wish :)" and not think ok where's the hook. So he just does what no one ever has & essentially interrogates Kyubey, so he knows it all even before he gets to make a contract. So, some of his classmstes are MGs & he won't become one himself BUT he still ends up tagging along to just protect them in his Kokichi ways. (Though I'm entertaining Kokichi lying about being a magical girl, because, well, it's Kokichi).
(I also got a small idea of Gonta being a magical girls and Kokichi originally tagging along him into labyrinths, Gonta also makes him a magic gun from the toy one he had, and at some point witches out & Kokichi manages to kill him with that gun. So he always has that spare Grief Seed on himself, bc it's still his best friend & he can't handle the idea of just giving it away or using it himself (he does anyway in the end).)
Shuichi prolly ends up being a new kid & it isn't like MadoHomu, the ppl who reach him first are Kaede & Kaito, classic. Kokichi's there, too, but he's his usual sus self. He's actually discouraging ppl from making a contract when they find out magic and miracles are real, which absolutely includes Shuichi. He's very vocal abt it, but he won't explain stutf, bc 1) he's a liar, so who'd believe him? and 2) he doesn't want them to witch out upon finding out the truth or, idk, murder everybody Mami-style.
Anyway, fast forward, bad things happen bingo & by the end of the run most charas are dead, there's Walpurgis nachting, and he makes his wish to bring back the ppl who died notably not as magical girls. Contract signed, he fights & fails, rip. I also thought it was similar to how he thought he could end the killing game by himself - he though he could finish Walpurgisnacht by himself, too. And he failed in both times. Whatevs.
Shuichi doesn't actually make his time travel wish for Ouma specifically, he wants to save all his friends. Timelines are messy esp at first bc he either tells then or it backfires or just makes himself look very sus bc he's trying not to tell them. He also realizes why Kokichi hadn't told anybody aby witches at some point, bc, yeah, it messes them a lot, assuming they believe it.
Still, Kokichi ends up one of the few people who are nearly always giving him a chance, not necessarily out of belief, but out of pragmatism - bro can stop time & knows the truth, that's just too useful. So they often work together & Shuichi grows closer to him but still we ain't there yet. But the thing is, Shuichi's time travel still makes Kokichi more & more powerful with each timeline, bc Shuichi usually goes back after Kokichi dies, so the universe figured out this guy's life's important. Anyway, another notable thing is the iconic Homura kills Madoka scene, but it's Saiouma with guest stars of Kaito & Maki. It's Walpy, it's not defeated yet, but the training trio are spent & just kinda accept their fate of turning into witches together. And then, boom, Kokichi appears & steals their Soul Gems for a sec & he's like did u know you can cleanse your Soul Gem with a darkened one? But it's a lie & he quickly tells them so, he just had a spare Grief Seed after cleansing his Soul Gem & he needs them to do some stuff. Shuichi can travel back in time & fix things, and Maki & Kaito are needed to fight Walpy here. He actually questions what happens to the timelines Shuichi leaves behin, and ofc he doesn't know. There's a chance they remain, so Kokichi needs Maki & Kaito to fight Walpy here.
Kaimaki leave, and Shuichi finally looks at Kokichi & realizes sth is Wrong. Kokichi struggles to hide how he's trembling & grimacing, and it's Kokichi, so obviously it must be extremely bad. Shuichi dreadfully realizes something worse, and he weakly asks Kokichi why aren't his wounds healing. And Kokichi just falls, laughing weakly, and Shuichi catches him & searches for his Soul Gem and, God, he knew it. It's nearly completely black. Kokichi laughs & admits he lied abt having two Grief Seeds, he only had one he never wanted to use. But they'll have the second one soon, so no need to worry. He asks Shuichi to maybe destroy his witch form as it's hatching, so he'll have the Grief Seed without any fighting… and he admits that he hates fighting, he hates this magical world and all its violence. He says that Kaito was right in calling him a coward, even here he just can't handle the idea of fighting any longer, he's so sorry. And Shuichi tells him he ISN'T a coward. He was scared, but he always followed everybody, trying to help, and when push came to shove he would always make a contract for the benefit of others rather than himself. He's a lot of things, but a coward isn't one. Kokichi actually tears up hearing that, and Shuichi promises he won't let him fight ever again, and especially he won't let him turn into a witch and hurt anybody, because he knows it's the last thing he's ever wanted. Even now he only accepts turning into a witch to help them fight to keep others safe. So Shuichi won't let him. Kokichi probably apologizes and thanks him and then he dies.
Keeping Kokichi from fighting starts off as a side quest that gains importance with time, bc it's something Shuichi won't compromise on (ah, trauma), which leads him to occassionally neglect others a bit, which makes them more likely to get hurt & ironically Kokichi more likely to make a contract, especially since he gets more powerful & Kyubey is more interested in him with each timeline. And that also makes him witch out super quick. Shuichi's paying more attention to him & over time grows resentful of others for how they're treating him. To Shuichi it's no question that Kokichi cares & is just doing his best to help, but nobody realizes that.
But the biggest obstacle in keeping Kokichi from fighting is actually Kokichi himself, bc he's too smart and nosy, lmao. Even if he knows nothing, he will find out quickly. Doesn't help that Kyubey wants him to make a contract.
Also, obviously Kaito is Sayaka-coded and Maki could be Kyouko-coded, so that's a thing, BUT it's usually Maki that witches out. Kaito is usually pretty close, but Kokichi intervenes & he survives, but Maki later cracks on her own (and since in the new timeline Kokichi isn't there, Kaito's the one to die, so he's still the secretary). So it's Kaito who gets the dramatic sacrifice. I imagine he genuinely hoped you could bring somebody back if you tried Very Hard & Kokichi called him a moron bc obviously it's not possible. If it was there'd be far less witches that there are. But it's Kaito, he doesn't listen to reason. So, Kokichi follows him to the labyrinth. At first Kaito's mad cuz what if Kokichi being there ruins the plan? Maki hates his guts! But eventually he gets hit pretty hard, and Kokichi is near immediately by his side, trying to help him get up, which kinda makes Kaito short circuit a little bc wait Kokichi's trying to help? But witch!Maki attacks them & Kokichi pushes Kaito away & gets caught himself (and choked until unconsciousness, naturally). Anyway, Kaito gets him away, Shuichi catches Kokichi & Kaito makes up his mind about going down with Maki & asks Shuichi to tell Kokichi that he's sorry. He doesn't get him, but he got hurt trying to protect him, so he'll believe in that if nothing else. F.
As for The WishTM, in the last timeline Shuichi lashes out at Kokichi for his willingness to just become part of the system. In no timeline has his wish actually helped, it did NOTHINHG, which OUCH but it also makes Kokichi think out of the box more & he becomes the Law of Cycles. And Shuichi realizes what is happening & freaks out bc Kokichi's doing it bc of what he told him & like Homura they end up having a momentTM in space & Shuichi remembers. He feels a lot of guilt even tho he also questions whether anything was real, but if it was, he pushed somebody he far too realized he loved into erasing himself from existence.
#hope it's not too long but i'll make it a read more if somebody thinks it is#i spammed discord i spammed bsky it's only fair i post it on tumblr too#kokichi ouma#shuichi saihara#saiouma#danganronpa#like obviously normally you'd go for something like Kokichi as Homura and Shuichi as Madoka and I'm just not that sure of it myself#like the vibes match at the first glance but the more I think about it the less it actually works for the characters in question#one of Kokichi's most defining chracteristics is that he cares a lot about everybody and frankly more than probably any other V3 character#but in a very... general sense if you get me. characters like Kaito and even Shuichi pick some people they like to care for and everybody#else is like whatever - sucked but now it's done like after Korekiyo's execution he says nothing abt him while both Makoto & Hajime offer#Celeste and Mikan some more thoughts and compassion; anyway obviously Kokichi doesn't care about say Kaede more than Shuichi but he still#gives all their lives the same amount of respect just for the sake of it; that's what makes chapter 4 so horrifying from his perspective#and also why in chapter 5 he isn't willing to do the same anymore and instead chooses to die himself so Maki of all people can survive and#so Kaito can go in a blaze of glory. and these two are arguably the two characters who treated him the worst (not that anybody treated him#well save for maybe Gonta and Kiibou). so i can't imagine Kokichi in Homura's role - reaching the point where he cares about only one perso#surviving while everybody else can die in a ditch bc the one time he picked his life over anybody else's he had a wholeass breakdown & then#killed himself several days later even though logically it would've made more sense to either kill Kaito who's dying anyway or throw Maki#under the bus since she was the one to fuck things up in the first place and proved herself to be a danger to the group.#Shuichi meanwhile he absolutely could given his lack of regard for some of the dead (Rantaro Ryouma idk abt Angie but I remember little#Korekiyo Miu and finally Kokichi himself) so he could snap at some point#anyway time to shut up it's getting long in these tags
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