#or maybe i'll just draw stuff for myself to cheer myself up! who knows!

[pumaskulls]

having the everything happen to you at once is not fun, can confirm

[maniculum]

Medieval Scorpions Effortpost

So yesterday I reblogged this post featuring an 11th-century depiction of the Apocalypse Locusts from Revelations, noting the following incongruity as another medieval scorpion issue:

The artist, as you can see, has interpreted "tails like scorpions" as meaning "glue cheerful-looking snakes to their butts".

Anyway, it occurred to me that the medieval scorpion thing might not be as widely known as I think it is, and that Tumblr would probably enjoy knowing about it if it isn't known already. So, finding myself unable to focus on the research I'm supposed to be doing, I decided to write about this instead. I'll just go ahead and put a cut here.

As we can see in the image above, at least one artist out there thought a "scorpion" was a type of snake. Which makes it difficult to draw "tails like scorpions", because a snake's tail is not that distinctive or menacing (maybe rattlesnakes, but they don't have those outside the Americas). So they interpreted "tails like scorpions" as "the tail looks like a whole snake complete with head".

Let me tell you. This is not a problem unique to this illustration.

See, people throughout medieval Europe were aware of scorpions. As just alluded to, they are mentioned in the Bible, and if the people producing manuscripts in medieval Europe knew one thing, it was Stuff In Bible. They're also in the Zodiac, which medieval Europe had inherited through classical sources. However, let's take a look at this map:

That's Wikipedia's map of the native range of the Scorpiones order, i.e., all scorpion species. You may notice something -- the range just stops at a certain northern latitude. Pretty much all of northern Europe is scorpion-free. If you lived in the north half of Europe, odds were good you had never seen a scorpion in your life. But if you were literate or educated at all, or you knew they were a thing, because you'd almost certainly run across them being mentioned in texts from farther south. And those texts wouldn't bother to explain what a scorpion was, of course -- everyone knows scorpions, right? When was the last time you stopped to explain What Is Spiders?

So medieval writers and artists in northern Europe were kind of stuck. There was all this scorpion imagery and metaphor in the texts they liked to work from, but they didn't really know what a scorpion was. Writers could kind of work around it (there's a lot of "oh, it's a venomous creature, moving on"), but sometimes they felt the need to break it down better. For this, of course, they'd have to refer to a bestiary -- but due to Bestiary Telephone and the persistent need of bestiary authors to turn animals into allegories, one of the only visual details you got on scorpions was that they... had a beautiful face, which they used to distract people in order to sting them.

And look. I'm not here to yuck anyone's yum, but I would say that a scorpion's face has significant aesthetic appeal only for a fairly small segment of the population. I'm sure you could get an entomologist to rhapsodize about it a bit, but your average person on the street will not be entranced by the face of a scorpion. So this did not help the medieval Europeans in figuring out how to depict scorpions. There was also some semantic confusion -- see, in some languages (such as Old and Middle English), "worm" could be a general term for very small animals of any kind. But it also could mean "serpent".* So there were some, like our artist at the top of the post, who were pretty sure a scorpion was a snake. This was probably helped along by the fact that "venomous" was one of the only things everyone knew about them, and hey, snakes are venomous. Also, Pliny the Elder had floated the idea that there were scorpions in Africa that could fly, and at least one author (13th-century monk Bartholomaeus Anglicus) therefore suggested that they had feathers. I don't see that last one coming up much, I just share it because it's funny to me.

*English eventually resolved this by borrowing the Latin vermin for very small animals, using the specialized spelling wyrm for big impressive mythical-type serpents, and sticking with the more specific snake for normal serpents.

Some authors, like the anonymous author of the Ancrene Wisse, therefore suggested that a scorpion was a snake with a woman's face and a stinging tail. (Everyone seemed to be on the same page with regards to the fact that the sting was in the tail, which is in fact probably the most recognizable aspect of scorpions, so good job there.) However, while authors could avoid this problem, visual artists could not. And if you were illustrating a bestiary or a calendar, including a scorpion was not optional. So they had to take a shot at what this thing looked like.

And so, after this way-too-long explanation, the thing you're probably here for: inaccurate medieval drawings of scorpions. (There are of course accurate medieval drawings of scorpions, from artists who lived in the southern part of Europe and/or visited places where scorpions lived; I'm just not showing you those.) And if you find yourself wondering, "how sure are you that that's meant to be a scorpion?" -- all of these are either from bestiaries or from calendars that include zodiac illustrations.

11th-century England, MS Arundel 60. (Be honest, without the rest of this post, if I had asked you to guess what animal this was supposed to be, would you have ever guessed “scorpion”?)

12th-century Germany, "Psalter of Henry the Lion". (Looks a bit undercooked. Kind of fetal.)

12th-century France, Peter Lombard's Sententiae. (Very colorful, itsy bitsy claws, what is happening with that tail?)

12th-century England, "The Shaftesbury Psalter". (So a scorpion is some sort of wyvern with a face like a duck, correct?)

13th-century France, Thomas de Cantimpré's Liber de natura rerum. (I’d give them credit for the silhouette not being that far off, but there’s a certain bestiary style where all the animals kind of look like that. Also note how few of these have claws.)

13th-century England, "The Bodley Bestiary". (Mischievous flying squirrel impales local man’s hand, local man fails to notice.)

13th-century England, Harley MS 3244. (A scorpion is definitely either a mouse or a fish. Either way it has six legs.)

13th-century England, Harley MS 3244. (Wait, no, it’s a baby theropod, and it has two legs. (Yes, this is the same manuscript, that’s not an error, this artist did four scorpions and no two are the same.))

13th-century England, Harley MS 3244. (Actually it’s a lizard with tiny ears and it has four legs.)

13th-century England, Harley MS 3244. (Now that we’re at the big fancy illustration, I think I’ve got it — it’s like that last one, but two legs, longer ears, and a less goofy face. Also I’ve decided it’s not pink anymore, I think that was the main problem.)

13th-century England, MS Kk.4.25. (A scorpion is a flat crocodile with a bear’s head.)

13th-century England, "The Huth Psalter". (Wyvern but baby! Does not seem to be enjoying biting its own tail.)

13th-century England, MS Royal 1 D X. (This triangular-headed gentlecreature gets the award for “closest guess at correct limb configuration”. If two of those were claws, I might actually believe this artist had seen a scorpion before, or at least a picture of one.)

13th-century England, "The Westminster Psalter". (A scorpion is the offspring of a wyvern and a fawn.)

13th-century England, "The Rutland Psalter". (Too many legs! Pull back! Pull back!)

13th or 14th-century France, Bestiaire d'amour rimé. (This is very similar to the fawn-wyvern, but putting it in an actual Scene makes it even more obvious that you’re just guessing.)

14th-century Netherlands, Jacob van Maerlant's Der Naturen Bloeme. (More top-down six-legged guys that look too furry to be arthropods.)

14th-century Germany, MS Additional 22413. (That is clearly a turtle.)

14th-century France, Matfres Eymengau de Beziers's Breviari d'amor. (Who came up with that head shape and what was their deal?)

15th-century England, "Bestiary of Ann Walsh". (Screw it, a scorpion is a big lizard that glares at you for trying to make me draw things I don’t know about.)

I've spent way too much time on this now. End of post, thank you to anyone who got all the way down here.

[yuseirra]

Hello~ I have something to say because there's been something that's been on my mind, leaving me very depressed and concerned for the past couple months. I've been trying my best to be cheerful and uplifting but it's hurting me so much I just can't stand it...I have to be true to myself and let it all out, I feel like a stone's being pushed onto my chest, and I won't feel better without addressing it somewhere, so please pardon me, okay?

I'd been drawing a lot of project moon's fanworks earlier, remember how there's been an incident regarding limbus company and the artist being fired and whatnot? and then there's this stuff going about how fingers are drawn in maplestory, I have no idea about the details but something happened in arknights?? too? I don't play that game but still, well I'd been seeing a lot of these stuff happen for the past couple of months and since I come from a country where that's directly being taken place, I saw a lot of it happen firsthand except for some recent ones, it made me to go terminate my twitter which I had for a decade (I think I had it since 2013 or 2014. not that it matters now anyway, but I miss my friends I had there so much.)

I'm really hurt. It pains me so much to see people dig up a tweet someone's made several years ago using some kind of data crawler or archive and decide to get the mass to bring down a person over it, a person has many sides, how can you determine how exactly someone's feeling about something? and how can it lead to things like death threats, how can people be so eager to make someone "pay", I understand that people can be frustrated over some things, but where's the limit of these things? I felt so threatened and scared and upset, nothing bad's happened to me in person. All I've experienced is kindness and I am very grateful about it, but I can't say I'm not affected. Seeing a lot of things going around secondhand's been enough to put me through a lot of stress.

Some of my videos regarding projmoon's works had been very popular, you may have seen them if you're in the fandom! I used to be very proud of it. Now I'm upset and scared and I am pained, why can't I be as proud of them as I used to be, I put all my love into it back then. It's a terrible feeling. I have mixed feelings about having it up on my channel.. there's a part of me who love my works a lot.. and is happy about it having been able to give a lot of people joy. People have been enjoying it, and they've all been so kind about it. And then there's another part of me wishing I never made it in the first place because it really hurts and I'm reminded of these incidents whenever I see them. Which is such a pity, since I did a really great job with those. I'm still getting new comments with people telling me they are so impressed and all I could think about now is the.. all the, I don't know what to call all that..,

I'm scared that people might come after me and accuse of me being someone I am not, try to dig up my old tweets and find me problematic for doing something unfavorable for the fandom(not that I've said or done anything harmful in the past, I'm sure of that..I've ALWAYS tried my best to spread love when I could. I am confident about that.) maybe I'm being full of myself. Maybe people don't care about me or my works as much and I'll be okay but I have no idea how things will play out. I've been holding out till now, no one can say I didn't try..the fact that I've been keeping my works up there, I've been trying very hard to be strong in my own way (but at the same time I also felt like a coward for remaining in the status quo)

earlier I saw yt recommending me that library of ruina is getting a switch edition and I get reminded of all these stuff, I can't bear it. It hurts me so much. I've been holding this all in by myself since last july, maybe I'll have to take the videos down to make me feel better, but I'm not sure if I'll be safe that way. I deleted my twitter and now it comes to this, I won't delete my tumblr though. I love my experience as yuseirra and I'm happy for all I've received. I wish I could continue feeling that way, I want to believe in people, I want to care for them, and I don't want to think people will try to come after me and hurt me over the choices I make. So let me be strong, whatever I do, I'll do my best to be that way.

Thank you very much!! Lots of love!!

[ryuichirou]

Replies

Today’s replies! One about SnK, one about SPTO, a bunch about TWST.

6ubble-gum asked:

Every so often I'll find ur tiny founding titan arts again and spend a good long few minutes gushing over it lmao. snk is dead to me but tiny founder is alive and well (espec the fleas art)

Ahh it’s so sweet that you remember and look at it from time to time! I’ll repeat myself, but wow it is truly surprising that our SnK stuff isn’t totally forgotten. I feel like even I don’t remember the majority of it…

I’m very glad our teeny tiny Founder (with his little fleas) makes you happy~ God I remember when we drew it and these were the newest chapters…  wild times.

Anonymous asked:

Speaking of Yandere Todd, I can already imagine him being extremely jealous of Mobile. Mobile would have to fight Wallace’s ‘evil ex’. They would have a fight to see who’s the better psychic for Wallace. And then Wallace watched all of this with a drink in his hand while he cheers his boyfriend on. And then he might call for a restraining order on Todd. That’s what I can imagine

OH NOOO I love how absolutely devastatingly one-sided this is. Wallace cheering Mobile on, Mobile winning…  At least Todd got his participation prize… which is a restraining order 😔

Jokes aside, I find it endlessly amusing that Wallace just keeps hooking up with psychic guys. I don’t necessarily think it’s intentional, but I do think Wallace benefits from it very nicely. In a lot of ways…

And it does make the psychic vs psychic scenarios very possible, I would honestly love to watch them fight. Or to draw them fighting... For some reason though (lol) I get a feeling that Mobile is more powerful than Todd. Gotta train more! For Wallace Wells! 💪

Anonymous asked:

I found your art on pinterest, here's the link: [I edited out the link]

Thank you for letting us know, Anon! Unfortunately, I don’t know if there is anything I can do to take it down… But we still appreciate you letting us know. Pinterest doesn’t respond to the request promptly.

The comments are hilarious though. Love it when people talk about me as if I’m a cryptid that steals people’s fingers and eats their kids.

Anonymous asked:

Do you think Idia and Lilia will ever do cosplay together and if yes, what couple are they cosplaying?

I feel like Lilia is that force in Idia’s life that could make him consider things that used to be a definite “no-no” to him, and we do know that Idia actually doesn’t mind cosplaying as long as his head is hidden… And the whole cosplay thing sounds like something Lilia would want to try at least once, so maybe that could happen. If there is a combo of a character with his face (and head: can’t show burning hair) completely hidden + someone tiny and adorable? In any way, Idia is definitely going to overthink this whole thing, only for Lilia to change his mind and tell Idia that they should switch costumes with each other at the very last moment lol

Anonymous asked:

Got Azul, Jamil, Idia, and Riddle on a loading screen today and I blame you for immediately thinking about how much of a dream come true it would be for Azul to have all three of them 😂

Haha YESSSSS YESSSSSSSSS (proud of our bad influence)

It really is a dream come true, what a wonderful harem of reluctant lovers that don’t even like Azul all that much. But it doesn’t matter, because all three of them are his and his only <3

Good for him!

Anonymous asked:

have you seen ruggie’s club outfit?? he looks so good, i can’t wait till we get to see what his bottoms—i mean leona and epel look like in their club gear

Yeah I have! It’s very cool, it suits Ruggie a lot. He really does look like he is about to go and dominate some bitches lol

It’s also cool to finally see the uniform that magift players wear… is this the first time we’re seeing it? They usually wear their PE uniform... It’s a great design, and once again, Ruggie deserves to look cool. Good for him too!

Anonymous asked:

Random thought but Riddle being both in Heartslabyul and Horseback riding club... He's really constantly surrounded by big-tiddied green men :3 Good for him

Oh god I keep forgetting that Sebek also has a constant presence in Riddle’s life… you’re so right omg, what a sick twist of fate. Widdle Widdle (little Riddle) and big-tiddied green men that just keep spawning around him AHHH

Seriously, good for him. Am I ending the third reply in a row with this phrase? Well, everyone got what they deserved…

[hollownoire]

Made an account on that new art website, Cara, and posted my most recent drawing there. To my surprise I had already gotten a handful of people seeing and liking my stuff, and it really really cheered me up cause things have been rough recently. I guess I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up, or desperation is making me naive or gullible, but someone commented on the post asking about commissions. I wasn't about to be scammed, or anything, but I also wasn't about to turn down the money if the opportunity came. Replied. Waited. Waited. Got worried. Did I say something wrong? Is my art not good enough? Should I have made a price sheet? Minutes turn into hours, I tell my friends about my anxieties over messing up getting one of my first actual commissions from a stranger. Five hours later I check the comment again, and the person was banned. I feel like a fucking idiot. Like...of course. Whatever. Meanwhile my doctor just cancelled my appointment the day of for the...I think, 7th, 8th time, while I have pressing pressing pressing health issues that need to be checked out and seen. You know, before they get worse, develop into something worse, and I rot away at this fucking desk doing nothing. But, no, these institutions can just do whatever they want. Ms. "I'm a doctor" can just show up late every day, run late every day, and cancel on a disabled person freely with no reproductions whatsoever. Would be cool if I got a win, sometime, it doesn't even need to be free. I know how to work myself to dust! Just any proof of my labor or effort being like substantial at all would be great. That I'm not just obliterating myself to no end, to no benefit, except to make myself MORE STRESSED. Whatever! It's fine. I'm fine! Back to whatever the fuck I do in my gaps between posts, maybe it'll be worth something, who knows! Probably not! In other news, my prices are probably going to be halved soon. Because I can't afford to give a shit anymore. I'm going to pin this post and it can serve as my price list until I can give a fuck enough to sit down and work through making the goddamn sheet. Headshots: $40 Waist-up/"Half-Body": $65 Fullbody: $100 Ref sheets: $125 (ESTIMATE, IT VARIES ON COMPLEXITY) Extra characters are $30/$50/$100 respectively depending on if you get a headshot, waist-up, or fullbody. My prices include full rendering, shading, lighting, FX/"Magic" and backgrounds. A particularly involved background might be more, but you'd have to really want me to do something crazy to warrant an additional charge there. I will do lewd art. I can make maps, emotes, flags, symbols, runes, banners, avatars, and assets for streaming and youtube as well. I know how to animate, to a degree, and I can make PNGTUBERs. I'm also figuring out how to make music. DM me here, or email me at hollownoire@gmail.com if you want a commission. I also have a ko-fi, if you want to donate. I plan on adding shit there soon, but I'm currently treading water, so don't expect anything any time soon. At least unless I get lucky. https://ko-fi.com/hollownoire I am disabled, so be patient, please. Turn around times aren't normally very long but shit happens and I'll tell you as much.

[papermonkeyism]

For the new year, I wish I'll get to hang out with people again.

This past year has been, frankly, pretty miserable, specially since early summer-ish when my DnD group went on a months long break. Wasn't the first one, nor the last one, but definetely the worst one. Don't really have other friends locally, aside from one old school mate.

Honestly it's been pretty bad ever since the start of the pandemic when we stopped hanging out outside of DnD sessions and my fave coffee places closed down along with couple of my fave restaurants, and I just... Stopped having a social life, but now it's so much worse. As said, I have one (1) friend outside of the group I sometimes go shopping with, and one of my DnD buddies hangs out with me maybe once a week to borrow my laundry machine for couple hours, and they are probably the only reasons I haven't broken completely so far.

But neither of them are storytelling people the same way I am, so I'm kinda holding back when we hang out, as I can't really go all in with my special interests on them.

Downsides of being socially awkward introvert.

The summer break from roleplaying was a trigger for anxiety and maybe the worst creative block of my life so far. As someone who basically thinks with a sketchbook it was pretty fucking stressful not being able to draw anything for several months!

I crave creation and storytelling, but my brain is made of goo. Like imagine if someone came and asked you to pick a water from a pool and hand it to them? But it's liquid! Can I get a cup or something, but they just scoff. You got hands, right, just pick one up and hand it over. So I'm just left trying to scoop handfuls of wet and grabbing nothing. Kinda how it feels.

Started marathoning Crit Role to distract myself from the worst of it and to have at least some kind of creative energy in my life, and consumed what must be over half a thousand hours of role playing. At least that was fun!

And when nights started stretching and seasonal depression started to creep into my already not-doing-good brain I started my routine of evening walks because at some point I was legitimately going stir crazy enough to explode otherwise.

It's also been my first full year of joblessness in a long while. I was already having hard time by the end of last year, because my brain has difficulty handling full time jobs for long stretches of time, and ten months in a row not being able to recharge was starting to weight on me, so I had made a plan to get my brain sorted out with the ADHD diagnosis and hopefully medication before applying for jobs again, but turns out the process took the entire year, and then some, and I still don't have the meds yet. I have been given the thumbs up on them, but turns out me stressing for the better part of a year has triggered blood pressure problems (runs in my family, so honestly probably just a matter of time, but it's still very inconvenient to happen right now), so I have to sort that out first before it's safe to try stimulant medication.

And then there was the death in the family and a close friend's cancer diagnosis (fingers crossed!) and I just haven't had a great time, you know.

January's going to go into medical stuff in the hope of getting the ADHD meds, so maybe I could one day grab those thoughts again. The unemployment office is also pestering me again, so we'll see how that'll go.

I think I'll see if I can make myself a regular at the new cat cafe in town. Cats make everything better. Also looking forwards to actualizing a tattoo plan or two! Springtime is coming too, eager to continue my evening walk routine with returning sunlight. And I really, really, really need to create something again.

So here's for what I sincerely hope to be a better year than this past one! Cheers.

[miru667]

HIII!! miru, i'm shakoo

I was really doubting whether to send you this message or not, because I felt sorry but hey!, my curiosity and need to know more brought me here hehe

(sorry if I have grammatical errors, I'm still learning English so I make mistakes, I still hope you understand what I mean)

Well I'll summarize it as much as I can ^^

Miru I love your art so much and Au (I'm still updating myself with the story so I can understand it more)

I recently became very interested in the Lorax fandom, (specifically for the character most acclaimed) The once-ler fandom, I didn't know it had its own place on the internet and I never really inquired much about it, but a month ago I found myself with one of your pieces of art and I was honestly surprised that the onceler had fanarts, and when I discovered your blog I was fascinated

I have been reading and reading everything for days, and I love what was formed around the movie

And I loved your headcanons as well as the analysis that you did from time to time.

And well the question I wanted to ask you is just one

How does it feel to be part of this fandom for literally 1 decade?

I can't imagine the things you experienced in the fandon and the history that it entails :O

And finally

Thanks for reading, I'm sorry if the message is a bit long, or a bit meaningless, but there are many things on my mind right now, I've read so many blogs jeje

Without more to say, thank you very much Miru!!!

Omg HIIII welcome to the fandom! I'm so happy you ended up sending this message, please don't hesitate because I love answering asks! Man I'm!! 🥺 I'm so honoured to hear that you've enjoyed my art and my headcanons and analyses, I'm really proud of the few analyses I did so that makes me really happy 🙈

Good luck on your reading of old posts, there is so much to read I can't even imagine being able to catch up with everything O_O New fandom members who try to read old stuff are real troopers.

As for your question ahhhHHHH I KNOWWW I've been in this fandom for literally a third of my life so far...I say this to everyone but onceler fandom is like my culture now. 🥲 That's how it feels. You are right, there were a lot of valuable experiences and there has been a lot of history.

I see people dig up old posts and reblog them and sometimes I think "they don't know that that piece of art was drawn by my friend for my other friend to cheer them up when they were going through a rough time" or "they don't know that this piece of art led to the falling out of a friend group" or "they don't know that I literally watched my friend draw the sketch for this piece of art when I visited them irl many years ago and it was one of the most happiest times of my life that I can't get back anymore because we drifted apart from each other"

Like..! :,) Many pieces of our lives are attached to this fandom so I just hope that our old stuff gets treated with respect. I don't watch YouTube analyses of the fandom anymore because they just talk about oncest and maybe mention the AUs and they don't know that most of the fandom was actually about our friendships with each other.

So that's how it feels to have been in the fandom for a decade! You become familiar with certain patterns too so I see certain things happening over and over again as the fandom revives itself over and over, but with every revival there's something new too because of the general shifts in internet culture haha. These past few years I've preferred to stay a bit removed from it all for my own mental health and just concentrate on my Audrey oc and rping with my friends 🥰

Thank you for the ask and no need to apologize for a long message since I just typed an even longer one HAHA

[miniimapp]

Gen. ;; Incorrect quotes - Fluff + Crack

Warnings ;; Swearing + mention of weapons

Proofread + Edited ;; Yessir

Auth. Note ;; I've been saving this for a rainy day :)) Everything has been so busy in my personal life so take this while you wait for my wonderful hcs !! :DD

Enjoy !! <3

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Aaron Z: Don't even try it, I've already sent good vibes your way. They're coming. And there's nothing you can do to stop them.

Aaron T: Well if that isn't the most threatening way I've ever been cheered up-

Aaron Z: Be prepared.

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Jesse: Just be yourself.

Aaron Z: "Be myself" ?? Jesse, I have one day to win the new manager over. How long did it take before you guys started liking me ??

Aaron T: Couple weeks.

Tae Young: Six months.

Robaire: Jury’s still out.

Aaron Z: See, Jesse ??

Aaron Z: "Be myself'". What kind of garbage advice is that ??

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Robaire: I CAN'T DO IT !!

Tae Young, laughing: I CAN'T EITHER !!

Robaire: I CAN'T FUCKING DO IT ANYMORE

Aaron T: WELL I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, YOU CAN EITHER GIVE UP NOW, OR YOU CAN FIGURE IT OUT. BECAUSE WE CERTAINLY CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT YOU, AND WE KNOW YOU CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT US.

Robaire: ...

Robaire: I appreciate it

Robaire: BUT LOOK WHAT WE'RE DEALING WITH-

Jesse: Robaire-

Robaire: YOU GOTTA DRAW THE LINE SOMEWHERE!

Jesse: Robaire we gotta-

Robaire: YOU GOTTA DRAW A FUCKING LINE IN THE SAND. YOU GOTTA MAKE A STATEMENT.

Robaire: YOU GOTTA LOOK INSIDE YOURSELF AND SAY 'What am I willing to put up with today ??'

Robaire, motioning to Aaron Z: NOT FUCKING THIS

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Tae Young: What time is it ??

Aaron T: I don’t know; pass me that saxophone and we’ll find out

Aaron T: *Plays sax loudly and extremely out of tune*

Robaire: WHO THE FUCK IS PLAYING THE SAXOPHONE AT TWO IN THE MORNING !?!?

Aaron T: It’s 2 am

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Aaron Z: We need more help...maybe I should call my friends

Jesse: ...Your what ??

Aaron Z: My friends

Tae Young: Is he saying “friends” ??

Robaire: I think he's being sarcastic

Aaron T: No, no, no, this is delirium, he's cracked from being awake all night. Hey, Z! All of your friends are in this room.

Aaron Z: I have other friends! You asked me to make new friends, I made new friends! It was a task. I complete tasks.

✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈«

Robaire: What’s something you guys are better than Jesse at ??

Aaron Z: Mario Kart

Aaron T: Yeah, video games

Tae Young: Emotional vulnerability

✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈«

Aaron T: I’ve done a lot of dumb stuff

Aaron Z: I witnessed the dumb stuff

Robaire: I recorded the dumb stuff

Tae Young: I joined in on the dumb stuff

Jesse: I TRIED TO STOP YOU FROM DOING THE DUMB STUFF !!

✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈«

Tae Young: Bye Jesse !! Bye Robaire !! Bye T !! Bye Z !! Bye Jesse !!

Robaire: You said "bye Jesse" twice

Tae Young, smiling innocently: I like Jesse !!

✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈«

Tae Young: Poison is a magic transmutation potion that turns people into corpses.

Aaron T: This knife is actually a magic wand

Tae Young: Meet me in the car park for a wizard duel

Aaron Z: *cocks gun* Magic missile

Jesse: What the fuck is wrong with you people !?

Robaire: How did we get to this ??

✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈«

Jesse: You know, I'm starting to regret showing you how that blender works

Aaron T, drinking toast: Why do you say that ??

✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈«

Hope you enjoyed these silly little incorrect quotes, kudos to the incorrect quote generator for generating a fair few of these and also to me for changing and/or making up my own <3

[pineappleciders]

Hello!! i really hope i'm doing this right :]

Id like to request an omori pairing!!

My name is Raymond, and Im 14!! I'm a trans male, use he/him/it/its pronouns, and am (questioning) Pansexual, so feel free to match me w/ anyone!! I'm also an intp. I have adhd so please don't mind if anything i say conflicts itself (I tend to be SUPER different at certain times for no reason due to my impulsivity)

My interests are writing, drawing, generally being artsy, volleyball, videogames, reading, and dancing! I tend to change interests often, but those are the ones that usually stay the same!

I typically bounce from one interest to the next, and usually get very angry at myself for losing said interest.

As for personality, i'm usually quite moody, but am typically tired/upset/angry. I'm shy around people I don't know, but i basically consider my friends family. I usually don't make friends easily, so i just stick to my small group.

When i'm upset with someone, i'll usually make it known by either lashing out at them, or just being petty. I hold grudges easily, and have a VERY strong sense of justice.

When in public I tend to be very loud. Most of my classmates who aren't close to me would describe me as annoying. Others may see me as violent, or as constantly mad for no reason (this is the truest thing anyone has said about me). When I am with friends, I tend to be less "annoying" and more like them. I can adapt to fit others personalities and interests. When it comes to social situations, I usually have a "fake it till' you make it" mentality. I typically act childishly, but when I need to do something, I can totally be serious about it.

I tend to space out WAY to often, leading me to missing most important things, so I may seem airheaded/dumb, but i'm not. I'm very clever, and can usually work out most problems on my own.

As for romance, I'm typically awkward with that kind of stuff. It's easy to tell when I have a "crush" from the outside, but those feelings are always platonic. I feel the need to love somebody, but I don't feel attraction to anyone.

I try my best to hide most of my more spontaneous moods/emotions as to not be seen as weird by others.

(HOLY SHIT THIS TURNED INTO A RAMBLE IM SOSOOSOS SORRY 😭)

A/N: don't worry about it!! i actually quite enjoy when people get to talk about themselves and it also helps me make a more accurate matchup so dont sweat it <3 also sorry if this is written weirdly or sometjing i weote this on the toilet and i don't act right wuen im shittinf.

I MATCH YOU WITH...

RW KEL!!!

now i'm gonna be honest i was reminded a lot of aubrey so my first instinct was to match you with kim but i dont want to be lazy

again, i'm getting some sun & moon vibes

KEL really doesn't mind your moodiness. he might get a little insecure if you lash out at him or act uninterested, so it'll help if you reassure him every now and then that it's not his fault

if you're feeling down, he tries to cheer you up, and i feel like as time goes on you two would kinda,,, help heal each other?? like his sunshiney would rub off on you sometimes

alas, you two grow closer and closer and both of you might start to let your walls down. KEL begins opening up sometimes about his trauma and how he feels bad about himself, and you might talk about your emotions and what's hurting you, and perhaps even get a little soft

more specifically, you get a soft spot for KEL. it becomes a little difficult to be angry when a literal ball of sunshine is around

seeing KEL be so vulnerable to you makes you do it too, and you become more honest about how you might be feeling (and he really appreciates it!!)

when it comes to new people, he'll often do most of the talking as he knows it might not be your thing

KEL spaces out a lot too, and is easily distracted, but similar to you he isn't actually stupid.

in KEL's world, he finds it easier to let on the appearance that he might be a little stupid. and, maybe 4 years ago maybe he really was air-headed. but, things have changes, but he's always found that people are less disappointed when he fucks up if he acts stupider. so, that's what he does.

honestly? KEL doesn't really mind if your attraction to him is romantic or platonic. he feels the same way too, not really sure what he's feeling, but either way he knows that he wants to be with you, and he doesn't really care for any labels or anything. so, if you don't want to, there's no need to label your relationship as partners, or just friends!! all that matters to him is that you're together.

sometimes if you push him away or tug on his ear in annoyance, he'll just walk it off and not retaliate or anything. he isn't like... socially submissive or anything he just doesn't care for revenge

like you, he also has a strong sense of justice, and will strive for whatever he thinks is right, even if sometimes he misses the point and does something wrong (when this happens, it often makes him feel really bad about himself)

volleyball? basketball?? they both have ball at the end, so same thing, right? he teaches you basketball, and you try to get him to play volleyball, but he fucking sucks at it

he likes your creativity! always inspecting your drawings and writing, always calling it the best he's ever seen (even if it's dog shit. he's not saying it to make you feel better, he's saying it because he believes it)

you beat him in every video game and he sulks in the corner

[theresa-of-liechtenstein]

art by em year in review: electric boogaloo!

ah, 2021. a rollercoaster (derogatory). you know the drill—unsolicited affectionate self-roasting below the cut.

jan: starting things off on the most cheerful note imaginable here with an illustration for the fic in which I thought it'd be a great idea to kill off martin crieff! I could make fun of my lineart here but to be honest, looking back I just feel sorry for the em that hadn't yet discovered alpha lock in sketchbook...babygirl you could have spent so much less time on your art...

feb: hello linda fairbairn, otherwise known as the one-off cabin pressure character whose offhand mention of her hobby as a rally driver was the reason I got sucked into motorsport! and hello to therlinda, also known as the best idea I've come up with this year! (sorry not sorry bobsled!) anyway that race suit kind of deserves to be made fun of. luckily, I've already done that, and proposed a better (safer) redesign.

mar: and here we see the beginning of the shipwright & fairbairn lore, in which my dreadfully overpowering hunger for a mentor figure in the midst of completely virtual university led me to wonder what it would be like to be a starry-eyed kid at the bottom of the pecking order of one's airline getting stuck with a tired old guy with baggage. I decided to return to a brush I hadn't used since february of 2020, and was pleasantly surprised to find that I actually...liked what I got. I would continue using this brush for lineart until mid- to late summer.

apr: I maintain that we need a studio ghibli adaptation of the careers and lives of michèle mouton and fabrizia pons, two rally drivers from the 80s I discovered while doing research for linda fairbairn fanfic. sure, there's an animated movie based loosely on mouton's life, but it gives the michèle-coded character...magic powers. which is kind of stupid considering that at the core of michèle and fabrizia's story is hard work, friendship, determination, and overwhelming joy. so anyway I think they deserve a ghibli film. it was fun to experiment with this style so I included it here.

may: a very necessary update to this piece (since I kind of see everyone in cabin pressure as filipino except for theresa and linda). I love this picture still—it's my mobile header and I don't plan on changing it anytime soon. even though I did martin sort of dirty (but really, who's up in arms about martin nowadays!) my favorite part of the piece is either theresa and carolyn sharing a conspiratorial glance, or douglas and arthur being almost the same height. is arthur standing on a box? did he inherit height elsewhere? well, i can't decide, but should I maybe talk a little more about the specifics of my ideas of the cabin pressure crew being filipino? yes perhaps I should. but another time. another time

jun: just girly best friendz things is being a rally driving partnership for like six years, having your children around the same time as each other, and having your birthdays three days apart. I drew this for mouton and pons' birthdays and it was the first large-scale thing I did in procreate. ok confession: since then I haven't really used procreate. I know, bad of me, especially since I spent like ten dollars on the app: but sketchbook is just more intuitive under my fingers. and since I discovered alpha lock was a thing on sketchbook...

jul: ...I could make stuff like this. I drew this for the birthday of the former top target of my gender envy (it's now shifted...but I still appreciate the gender I got from him), former F1 world champion sebastian vettel. drawing all the little details in the race suits was sooo much fun honestly and i could go on and on about the specific ways this dude inspires me but. it's a little embarrassing. I'll save it for the essay.

aug: admittedly at this point i kind of had a flop era. the pen I'd been depending on (heh) since march wasn't really working with me. looking back I realize I may have over-arted myself into burnout, but at the time I didn't really think it was the problem. I also remember feeling a lot of frustration around this time because I didn't seem to have the inspiration to touch anything other than shipwright & fairbairn. luckily for my art life, I forced myself to stop drawing for something like two weeks...

sept: ...and this was the result. I think this is my favorite shipwright & fairbairn thing yet. your honor they are besties. they are besties. also, new brush! actually, it's not so much a new brush as it is a brush I used a lot before, got tired of, then changed the settings around and decided I liked it. honestly what I am fond of now for lineart is a sort of chalky (???) textured brush with a lot of variation of tip size based on pressure, but opacity is unaffected. if any of that makes sense at all! also, coloring the lineart with alpha lock so that its darker and more saturated than the flat coloring was such a game-changer. before (see january) I would just make the lineart darker than the flat coloring but not change the saturation, which made it look...meh. kind of dead. so this was a case of learn what you like and things will be okay.

oct: THE F1 AU. oh my god it lives in my head rent free. I have a lot of notes about this on the artwork's post itself so all I'll say is that thinking up all the little details and customizing the helmets was soo much fun. maybe I should have a side job as a helmet designer... should this technically be in september since most of the sketching was done in september? I say no. I did the coloring in october (also it was kind of the only thing I completed to satisfaction in october because. school became in person again and I got many times busier. turns out in-person university is very different from virtual university! /j)

nov: yet another iteration of the f1 AU! giving douglas a mustache is one of the most simultaneously inspired and cursed choices I've ever come across. (Inspired because it was ant who egged me on to to do it, cursed because...I barely know how to draw facial hair. I floundered on poor seb's picture [see july] kdajfkfjd)

dec: lastly, a work I never posted but currently use as a discord icon...my ferrarisona. yes my favorite f1 team is scuderia ferrari. I blame user fio maranello. something about the history, something about the legacy, a lot about the passion. anyway I used the 2018 ferrari suit bc that's the last time seb finished 2nd bc it's sexy. and my dream helmet is covered in sampaguita and functional groups and the reaction round the top of the helmet is a radical polymerization reaction (polypropylene, which is not my favorite but it behaves in a cool way so whatever).

[isabellehemlock]

Hiatus Announcement

Hi loves, so as I talked about here, I’m taking a semi hiatus.  I have two months of stuff queued up, so hopefully I can basically support content creators in our fandom - just from afar as I delete the app for at least one month, and potentially a little longer.

This is for a few reasons which I’ll talk about under the cut, but I’ll keep it vague for privacy reasons, and because it’s a bit exhausting to rehash all of this.  CW/TW for mental health issues, and c-ptsd mentioned, but not detailed, nor the reasons behind it.  Chronic health issues, and the American healthcare system is also discussed, though fairly vaguely.  But figured I’d mention it anyway!

I had shared back in March about needing a fandom break from tumblr, and though that was essentially only a small part of my fandom experience, it obviously had a pretty big impact on my mental health.  I returned in April, and wrapped up a big fic in May and basically tried taking care of my mental health by curating my feed as best as possible and changing my privacy settings and just really focusing on how I could offer the kind of support that wasn’t personally draining for me - which most consistently seems to be hyping up the content creators in our fandom :)  I love to see so many talented people in our fandom and cheer you all on!

I also focused on writing and drawing more than ever, and honestly I did mean what I talked about here on the anniversary, about how much this fandom means to me. 

However, what I haven’t shared - since this primary/personal blog has basically turned into a fandom blog - was that I’ve been dealing with some chronic physical health issues since the end of April.  Some dear friends are aware that I have a genetic condition that requires me to take weekly infusions to combat the long term effects of this. 

Unfortunately my insurance has been denying me this treatment since April.  I have now gone fifteen weeks without it. 

I recently learned (just last week actually!) that I won an appeal and my hospital and med team are coordinating to get me an infusion asap.  But it hasn’t happened yet, and I’m not sure when it will :/ 

All this to say that I simply do not have the mental, and physical energy, to keep up with real life of being a wife and mother (my kids have been home full time since March 2020, and bless them for their patience as we homeschooled with bundles, vs online school, but this new Delta variant is scary because they do not have options for vaccines yet), and helping take care of other family members who also deal with chronic health issues, and trying to nurture relationships that have fallen to the wayside during the pandemic, and embrace new ones I have made over the last year, and write, and draw as a way to combat stress and as art therapy for myself and be on tumblr trying to keep up.

So for now, I’m staying in a fandom server, and reshifting my focus on my WIPs which should keep me busy through October.  I genuinely hope to be back before then! 

I am hoping by taking a step back from one more app to manage, I can shift and refocus my limited energy to some things I need to take care of in real life (mostly med management, and organizing things before my kids go back to school next month).  People who are close to me know how to reach me, and please know my discord app is open for DMs if again there’s anything I need to update on a fic or a meta post of mine, or you need some encouragement from me in regards to something you created, or just want to talk :)

I am so grateful for the support you’ve given me so far, and I hope to return refreshed and restored!

Plus, maybe I'll finally whittle down my marked for later list (there’s currently 200+ fics for me to read!). 

I was hoping to wait till I finished the last two bingo fills - so feel free to keep an eye on them on my AO3 - but I’m not sure if that will take a few more days. 

So I’m logging off now, and wishing everyone well.

And please know my mental health is stronger then it was back in March (yay!), I just unfortunately am dealing with a lot of personal stress right now, but it’ll all be okay!  I will return, and until then fill free to browse my pinned posts.  And I hope you enjoy some things I queed.

Until then loves, be well and God bless ~ Katharina  

[lilred8220]

Well, yet another fic no one asked for😃

I wanted to write this because some time go, I was watching the fireworks when this song started to play↓↓↓

And I just thought how romantic it would be if I wasn't forever alone 🙃 so, I build a story around that. I hope you enjoy it!

P.s. This is a F!MC

--

I had been so excited for this day! In the human realm, my hometown this time of year had a huge festival ending with a huge firework show. I had asked to go a week in advance but due to being in the Devildom for the exchange program, I couldn't go. It definitely was a disappointment. However Diavolo, seeing me upset and now curious about the tradition, asked all about it and he thought it sounded fun. Thanks to him always wanting to do anything new, he immediately decided to do the same here in the Devildom.

So through the long week, he asked about everything we would do at the event to make it much more fun and quickly get everything ready to make this last second festival. It somehow all came together and it feels almost exactly like the festival from the human realm. The food, sweets and all! Now it was the time to enjoy the festival!

The brothers couldn't understand why I was so excited for this. Though we all went to festivals and saw fireworks, It was just something that I would always look forward to this time of the year and it's just more special this time around. It kinda feels as if I'm sharing something that I love with everyone I care about in a place where I like to call my new home. Hopefully they'll come to enjoy this as much as I do.

"So, this is called an Elephant ear?“ Beel asked, drooling at the large fried sweet in front of him.

I laugh, as I grab a piece before he can scarf the treat whole, "Yeah, it's just fried dough with powdered sugar on it. They usually sell these at any carnival or festival." I pop the elephant ear in my mouth, savoring the amazing taste.

The brothers each had something to eat as we took a break from all the festival games littered around. We all take two picnic benches for the 8 of us, well, us and Beel's giant pile of food he got. Everyone had won something from the games…well everyone but me and Mammon. Mammon was determined to win a game, yet his luck seemed to be the worse for wear today and all the games we'd gone to all ended up with one of the other brothers winning the game. My luck honestly wasn't any better due to playing the same games that the others had won.

"I'm telling ya! Those games are rigged! The people runnin 'em are just a bunch of con artists!“ Mammon yells, clearly frustrated that he hasn't gotten anything.

"Or maybe you just suck lol" Levi says, holding a Ruri-chan plush to his chest.

"Honestly, you really shouldn't be surprised, you were pretty terrible at all those games since you had no choice but to play fair." Satan adds on, which all the brothers nod in agreement.

Asmo laughs, "Well, what do you expect from a scumbag?"

I start to get annoyed as the brothers all start to bash on Mammon. He seems fine on the surface but I've been around him long enough, with him basically living in my room and all, to see all his little ticks. Like when he's excited, his hand gestures are more dramatic, to emphasize his point or how his eyes light up when something catches his attention, like something to make a quick buck. However, right now, with the way his mouth slightly twitches and his hand shoved into his pockets, he's upset. He really only does this when the brothers throw insult after insult at him, like right now.

I sigh as they continue their assault on him. But an idea comes to mind and it'll be easy enough to pull off.

"Does...that all that stuff apply to me too? Since I didn't win anything either, after all..." I say, putting on my best pouting face and looking down at the ground.

Immediately, the brothers started to panic, trying to reassure me that it wasn't true, successfully drawing their attention away from Mammon. I slightly looked up, passed the frantic brothers to lock eyes with Mammon. He stood there for a moment, a bit confused by my sudden comment. I flash him a quick smirk before looking up at the brothers, accepting their apologies. The brothers seemed to relax and drop the topic after that, returning to the food they have. Mammon, who had seemingly understood what my intentions really were, looked at me, with his face slightly flushed, then stared down at his food.

In Mammon's mind, he honestly doesn't know what force sent Y/N here but, she is honestly the best thing that has ever happened to him. At first, he hated the idea of being her guardian due to all of the extra work he was given. But, as days turned to weeks, her treatment towards him was nothing but sweet and loving. It honestly was a huge adjustment for him, since everyone treated him like scum or useless, having her place so much faith in him, even defending him and doing little gestures like this, it makes his head spin. He honestly couldn't pinpoint when it happened, but, his feelings for her drastically changed, he couldn't deny it now, how he longed for her, wanted her all to himself. How he loved her unconditionally.

I smile, quickly finish eating my food then stand up, "Ok! Time to get back to the games!“ I say, excitedly.

"Y/N, I'm glad you are excited but some of us still need to eat." Lucifer says, glancing at Beel and his mountain of food.

"Awww, come on Lucifer, I wanna try to win something before the fireworks start." I plop down again, putting my chin in my hands.

"Well, I'm sure we'll have plenty of time." Lucifer tries to cheer me up, eating some fries.

Mammon looks up at Y/N, upon seeing her upset. He honestly hated seeing Y/N upset, even if for something so small as to wait for everyone to finish eating. He wanted nothing more than to see her smile everyday, it honestly was one of his favorite parts of the day to see her smile so sweetly. He'll do anything to make her happy. He sits up and scarfs down his food before standing up. "Ok, how 'bout this,' ' Mammon gets up and walks over to me, ' ' since I haven't won anythin', I'm gonna go play some more games and I'll meet ya guys later. Y/N, ya can come if ya want to." Mammon starts to walk away, at a slower pace than he usually would.

"Yeah! Ok!" Before any of the other brothers could protest, I quickly got up and hurried over to Mammon. I can hear the brothers stumbling to get up to follow us.

"Hey! Mammon is stealing Y/N!"

"That's not fair!“

"That scumbag..."

I hear some of the things they're saying as they seem to be trying to catch up.

I grab Mammon's hand and start to make a run for it. "Come on!" I glanced back at Mammon, who seemed shocked. He looks back to see the brothers in hot pursuit of us. Getting the hint, Mammon picks up the pace. We high tail it out of there, laughing like a bunch of kids all the while.

--

Me and Mammon finally stop and I flop on the floor, trying to catch my breath as Mammon puts his hands on his knees.

"I…I think we lost 'em" Mammon pants, out of breath from running around.

"I…I think so…jeez, how…how do you always do this when you get in trouble?“ I wheeze out, my human body not used to running as much as a demon. Especially if that demon is Mammon.

Mammon straightens up, finally catching his breath, "Well, I'm not usually running from ALL of my brothers, just Lucifer mostly."

Mammon reaches his hand to me and after a moment, I let him help me up. He helps me to my feet and when I look up, his face is very close to mine. We stare at each other for a moment before both of our faces turn more flushed than we already were.

His bright blue eyes that have a hint of that golden yellow has me in a trance. When I first met Mammon, it was the first thing that drew my attention, it's honestly something that I always find myself staring at all of the time. They are very beautiful to me and never fail to make me feel relaxed when I see them. But not only that, he is a very handsome man. His rich caramel skin with his pure white hair makes his face stand out even more. He is just so captivating to look at, however his personality is what truly makes him shine. Even if he tries, and fails, to hide his true feelings, he always has his heart on his sleeve, rather if he realizes that or not. He tries so hard to help me or to even make my day brighter when I'm not feeling my best. He even tries to protect his brothers and is always there for them. He honestly is the most caring person I've ever met and I can't help but fall for him because of that.

Mammon looked down at her face, he honestly couldn't help but stare. In his mind, she was more beautiful than anyone he's ever seen. Her beauty not only stopped at her looks but the person she was. She was a true wonder to him, too good to be true yet, here she was, defying all logic. All he wanted to do was look at every detail of her face, her eyes as they shine, her soft skin as the blush covers her face, her parted lips as her breath finally slows down. Mammon was the first to turn away, catching himself now staring at nothing but her lips.

He clears his throat. "W-Well since we're here, let's get to some games!" Mammon says, his fangs flash with his grin.

We made our way to the nearest game booth, both of us looking at the various prizes. The booth in question is a simple ring toss, the bottles are organized by colors which show what size prize you can get. There are the ridiculously large stuffed bears that are taller than me to the very small animal plushies. Scanning all the prizes, one catches my attention, a black plush crow with a yellow tag on it. It was big enough to hold in your arms, it's wings dangled at its sides. It had its beak opened slightly to look like a smile. I glance over at Mammon, who is currently eyeing a plushie of a grimm, that also has a yellow tag hanging off of it. I laugh, thinking of how that plush crow reminded me of him.

Mammon looks at me, slightly confused, "What are ya laughing at?"

"Oh nothing, though I know what prize I want." I smile, looking back at the crow plush.

Mammon follows my eyes over to the plush, he tilts his head at my choice, "Ya sure that's what ya want? There are plenty of things better than that ol' crow."

I nod enthusiastically, "Yeah, I think it's cute, like someone else I know." I playfully push him.

His ears turn a dark red but he laughs, "Well, I know what I want so, let's go and win some prizes!“

We pay the demon running the game and start trying to make the rings reach its mark. However, as in most carnaval games, the rings in question are only slightly bigger than the top of the bottles, making it much harder to win. Not to mention the bottles for the better prizes are further back, making it much harder. As we try a couple times, we don't get much luck and we're running out of grimms to play. However as we reach our last game, even though I end up with nothing, Mammon manages to sink a ring on a yellow bottle.

"We have a winner!“ the demon behind the booth says, walking over to grab the ring.

"Yeah! This was nothin' for the Great Mammon!" Mammon threw his hands in the air, and I cheered with him, "You did it! You won!“

The demon walks back over to us, "Alrighty, you can pick a prize with a yellow tag. Which will it be?"

Mammon's eyes flick to the plush he was eyeing earlier and he goes to speak, but an announcement rings through the speakers all around the festival, "The firework show will be starting in 15 minutes, marking the end of the festival! So hurry and grab a seat to enjoy the show!“ a cheery voice says before the music from before starts to play again. Mammon looks down at me for a moment before a small smile appears on his face.

Mammon looks at the demon and points at the plush crow, "I'll take that one."

I look up at Mammon, "But, I thought you wanted-“ I get cut off by the demon swift return, "Here you go." The demon hands him the crow plush.

Mammon takes the plush from the demon with his usual bright smile and starts walking off, I quickly follow, still confused. Once I catch up, he looks at me with a blush on his face and holds out the crow to me.

"W-well, there wasn't really anythin' I wanted, so I figured I'd get this ol' crow since ya seemed to want it so bad." He says with his usual bravado, yet it was a bit more shy than normal.

"But, you said…" I start to say as I take the plush but, cut my thought short.

Even though I know he wanted something, that much he's been saying all day, he still got me this crow plush. Knowing how he struggles to do these things and becoming a stuttering mess when it's pointed out, I choose to not question him. Yet, I can't help but love him even more, him knowing that I wanted something as well and that he'll be going back home later with nothing. I'll have to repay him later but for now, I'll just enjoy the rest of the festival with him.

I shake my head and give him a smile, one that shows how much I truly appreciate and love him, "Thank you so much, Mammon." I hold the crow close to myself.

Mammon feels all the air in his lungs escape him. Y/N's smile, the sparkle of joy and something more…intimate in her eyes. Honestly, for a split second, he found himself jealous of that crow, seeing Y/N holding it so lovingly. He wanted, no, needed to show her how much he loves her. If not tonight, it'll drive him insane.

--

After looking a bit, me and Mammon found a perfect spot to watch the fireworks. We sat on a hill that was a bit further away from the festival and luckily, we could still hear the music playing from one of the speakers nearby. We sat in a comfortable silence, waiting for the fireworks to begin. Which based on the amount of time it took to find this isolated spot, it should start at any moment.

Mammon is resting his arms on his knees as I sit with my legs crossed, the plush crow close to my chest. I watch all the demons in the distance hurrying to find a spot to watch the show as well. Thankfully, none of them seem to look in this direction. So right now, it's just us, alone.

After a few moments, Mammon looks over at me and shyly starts to speak, "H-hey, Y/N?"

I look back at Mammon, noticing his face slowly forming a blush, "Yes?"

"I…I wanted to tell ya-" Mammon gets cut off by the first firework going off.

We slightly jump, but my eyes widen as the firework show starts, "It's starting!"

I watch as the firework starts to make the usual dark Devildom sky shine bright with many different colors. All the while, a familiar song starts to play on the speakers, making this a moment that I want to treasure always. It was a song from the human realm and it was a song that made this moment feel more intimate. I honestly couldn't ask for a better day, I got to go to the festival with all my favorite people and I even had, dare I say it, a wonderful date with Mammon. The thought of going on a date with Mammon makes my cheeks burn but I truly wish that this day would never end.

Mammon's heart starts to pound in his chest, his gaze never leaving Y/N. He watches as her eyes glow with wonder, watching the fireworks as if it were the first time. She never looked more beautiful, more perfect than right now. If he was ever gonna make his move, it had to be now. Mammon opened his mouth to speak but he couldn't find it in himself to break her trance. However, his greed for her attention, her voice, her touch, for nothing but her, was growing. So, he closes his mouth and takes a deep breath. He leans closer to her as his shaky hand gently touches her cheek to turn her face towards him.

When I suddenly feel a light touch on my face, I snap back to reality. Before I can react, I feel my face being turned and suddenly, Mammon leans in, his eyes close and gently presses his lips on mine, like he's afraid that I'll break. My eyes widen, taking a moment to realize what is happening. Mammon, feeling me not move, starts to move away, most likely worried he did something wrong. But, not wanting to lose the moment, I quickly filled in the space he left, pressing my lips a bit harder than he did. Mammon tenses at my sudden movement but quickly melts into the kiss, holding my face with his hands. I place the plush to the side, momentarily forgotten, I place my hands on his chest for support.

The air stills, the world around us starts to disappear. The only thing to keep us from forgetting the world completely is the sound of fireworks and the song playing so sweetly.

I snake my arms around Mammon's neck, then he takes the chance to pull me in closer by my waist, closing the gap between us. Even though he was nervous at first, he seems to have relaxed, even nips at my bottom lip, causing me to gasp. He swiftly slips his tongue in my mouth, tangling it with mine, deepening the kiss. We held each other close, like we were afraid that the other would vanish.

Needing to breathe, we lean away slightly. I'm not sure when it happened, but I managed to end up on Mammon's lap. Mammon seems to also realize the position we're in and his breath hitches.

His hand comes up and holds my face, "I love ya, Y/N."

My heart flutters and I lean into his touch, "I love you too, Mammon. I…I always have."

"Y/N, I care about ya so much and I…I don't want anyone else trying to steal my most precious treasure from me. The thought of it kills me, because I'm yer first man." Mammon stops, becoming more shy, "I w-want ya to be mine and…I'll be yers…if ya want me."

I feel as though all of the butterflies in my stomach would explode out of me. I can't stop the big smile that appears on my face, "Mammon," I hold his face in my hands, "no one could ever take me away. And not only that but…" I bite my lip, feeling a bit bashful, "You already have me. Now and forever."

If Mammon could, his eyes would have hearts in them. He looked at me with such lovestruck eyes, his face is probably the most peaceful expression I've ever seen. I look back at him in awe, honestly have never seen him so happy, like he's on cloud nine.

A smile is plastered on his face, "I promise that I will be with ya till the end of time. I gotta be the luckiest demon in the whole festival, no, the Devildom. But, I guess I did win something at the festival after all." His smile suddenly turns into a smirk, "What do ya say we go somewhere more private and we can continue…this?"

My face turns red, but I nod. We stand up, I grab my plushie so that we can leave when I suddenly hear someone, or rather, some people, running this way.

"MAMMON!"

We spin around, both of us knowing too well who that voice belongs to. Lucifer and the rest of the brothers are running at full sprint in our direction.

"Oh shit!" Mammon yells out, quickly sweeping me off my feet, making a run for it.

Startled, I grabbed on to Mammon's jacket, making sure to not drop my crow plush, "Ah! M-Mammon!“

He looks down at me, " Well, I might get strung up later, but I'm yer man now. I want ya all to myself and I don't know about ya, but I'm not ready for tonight to end." He flashes his signature smile.

I can't help but laugh, as we make yet another escape from the brothers. This is truly the best day I could have asked for.

[echo-three-one]

Whatever It Takes : RELOADED

Let's make the next chapter pink.

Table of Contents

Previous Chapter : Undying Admiration

Chapter 21 to another story made by Ray (echo-three-one) Comments and Reviews appreciated! I hope you enjoy! Love you all ❤️

back at it again with the piccrew

If I Remember Correctly

Maxine Winters

Safe House 110197, Brazil

Maxine looked at Samantha and smiled. They were finally together once again, as roommates, but this time, the room was huge and they were surrounded by strong men who were willing to risk their lives to protect them.

"How are you holding up?" Maxine asked.

"Everything's a swirl of hazy incomplete memories. It feels like I'm mostly recalling them back, but the details are a bit mixed. It doesn't feel right that I recall Alex as someone from work, right?" she chuckled. She must've been going through a lot of things right now, and it looked like Alex successfully helped her recall most of her forgotten memories. Maybe all she needed was someone to influence her.

"Hey Sam, what kinds of things have I told you about my past? France already told me some of my unforgettable memories but they still seem too unclear." She asked, Samantha looked excited as she began recalling something from the unaltered part of her memory.

"Well, for starters you told me a lot about your little sister. However since your mother died, the two of you were always together solving the problems as a team until you both decided to enlist her in the army. You told it was both the happiest and saddest moment of your life." She said with a smile on her face. Maxine never felt anything but knowing that that was their situation, it made sense how France was trying hard to win her back. She was the only one she had. And it must've hurt that the only companion she ever had didn't even remember her.

"I… I didn't know that…" she faltered. Samantha quickly reached out a hand to hold hers.

"Just take your time to remember… I'm sure France understands the situation." Samantha replied, turning to the door as it slowly pushed itself open. Alex peeked from the said door and asked.

"Am I disturbing any girl talk?"

"A little. But I'll forgive you for now." Samantha grinned as Alex entered the room, dressed in comfortable sleeping wear.

"I made a deal with France to swap sleeping positions for tonight. Make sure skipping tomorrow's pancake will be worth it." he winked as he settled behind Samantha, the spooning was awkward as his metal leg was unbendable and heavy, but Maxine noticed the smile in Samantha's eyes and how it quickly forgot the uncomfort he was giving her. Maybe that's true love.

"Aw… I was about to add extra honey to your plate, Alex. What you did to Samantha was the sweetest thing ever. I guess France is up for a treat." She joked, making the girls giggle while Alex furrowed his brows.

"Well then, this night better be worth it." He proceeded to tickle Samantha and they found themselves rolling and rolling. Maxine took a minute to admire the scenery before her eyes slowly closed itself to sleep.

~

Ever since being brainwashed, Maxine wasn't able to dream of something, every morning she would be greeted by the same empty feeling, her thoughts would always consist of recent events.

This night was different. She vividly recalled a rainy afternoon. She and Francine stood by their mother's grave.

"I'm going to the army next week, Mom. It might take a while since I'll be seeing you again." Francine knelt and placed a small floral pot they arranged.

"Yeah Mom, your daughter finally used her toughness somewhere other than fighting me!" She remembered herself joking and nudging her sister. These were things that they did on a weekly basis, visit their mother’s grave and talk about their week.

“And since she’s out training for the rest of her life, I decided to move to California, maybe look for restaurants to work on maybe look for someone special.” Maxine mused. She could hear France giggle.

“I, on the other hand, won’t let myself fall for any of those tough army men.” France added.

“Are you sure about that? It’s like… turning down a million dollar offer.” Maxine teased.

“It really depends on the person. But while I’m in training, I’ll focus on improving.” She amended.

Then the memory faded, it felt like tv static started to consume her whole dream until she found herself awake, gasping for air.

“You okay?” Alex groggily asked her, cuddling Samantha who was sound asleep. She nodded and got up, she felt very thirsty.

Maxine hurriedly walked down the stairs quietly passing the empty command center. Oddly enough, the kitchen light was open and she could hear soft clanking of cutlery. She took a peek at Gary Sandersom, who’s sticking his tongue out and too busy making finishing touches on a cake of sorts. She knew they didn't have the right mould for basic pastries but seeing him actually holding a cake, surprised her.

“So this is the reason I wake up to missing ingredients.” She spoke firmly and crossed her arms, walking closely to Roach who scrambled and immediately hid the cake behind him.

“I’m just trying out new stuff. Baking looked fun.” He lied, stepping further back until his butt hit the sink.

“I already saw what you’re working on Gary. How did you form the shape? We didn’t have any mold.”

“When there’s a will, there’s a way.” He smiled proudly and showed her his cake. It was cylindrical, almost like that of a

“Mugs.” he explained as Maxine crept closer to his work, her eyes probed around it like a judge from masterchef.

“Wow. This looks nice. Is this for you?” she asked, feeling Gary’s body shake differently.

“Actually, it’s for you… France told me about your birthday and since I already missed it. I wanted to share one with you. You know… for uh… formality.” he stuttered. It was obvious that Gary was nervous. She felt this ever since they started cooking together, and she noticed that he was improving around her.

“Aww… thanks. No one’s ever baked a cake for me. Samantha just buys them.” Maxine chuckled and sat on the chair as Gary pulled out a candle and lit it.

“I’m supposed to give you one before we leave tomorrow. I guess you got too excited.” he laughed nervously and gently placed his hand on her shoulder. Maxine gently reached for the hand and grazed it softly, smiling at Gary’s excited face.

“Make a wish.” Gary whispered, his minty breath tickled her nose. Maxine closed her eyes as the warm flame heated her cheeks. She would have wished for something personal, but instead she wished for something she thought needed to happen first.

“I wish… that this war will be over.” she opened her eyes and blew her candle as Roach silently clapped and cheered.

“Belated Happy Birthday Maxine.” He greeted with a warm hug, Maxine slowly gave in to his embrace and faced him. Tension sparked in the air between them as the chemicals moving between them started to react to each other, drawing their lips closer to each other. It was almost automatic, none of them held back as their lips clashed into a soft yet intense kiss. Their tongues were too shy to act but the lips were eager to meet again, soft smooches filled the quiet kitchen as their hands started to climb up to their faces.

“I.. um..” Gary shyly held back, his hands parted from her cheeks as they both stepped back from each other.

“It’s okay…" She whispered quickly, turning back to get herself a glass of water to calm herself from her nightmare and to cool off the heat of her body.

"I take it you're going back to bed?" Gary asked, leaning his arms across the table, looking at the cake.

"I think I can't sleep after that dream." She muttered. The reply signaled Roach to grab a fork and sit beside her.

"Dream? You're having dreams now?" Roach asked curiously, taking a slice off the cake and pointing the fork to her mouth.

"Yeah." Maxine continued with a vivid description of her dream, Roach momentarily spoon feeding her with cake every after thought.

Maxine actually stayed all morning talking to Roach, they discussed mostly about her dream and Roach was there to listen. He was what Maxine needed at the moment, a great listener who happened to be someone she's starting to fall for. She could also feel him growing close to her, that wasn't just any birthday kiss… I felt something else.

Maxine was almost jealous of Roach's colorful life. He shared so much of him that she actually felt guilty that she was only able to share one. He had lots of stories involving encounters with animals and most of it was about his dog.

"If you were to choose… Which animal would you prefer as a pet?" Gary asked curiously. The question made Maxine stop and think, admiring the slowly rising sun as she goes.

"Parrots sound fun. They talk back."

"Only if you teach them to…" Gary responded. He always does that, he's adding comments to her replies until they both agreed on a thing.

"Why do you keep doing that?" Maxine finally asked.

"Do what?"

"You know, influencing me to agree on your opinion?"

"I just want you to think I actually have something to say… Plus it keeps the conversation going… because I never really wanted it to stop." He smiled.

"Oi, Roach. Why is there no hot water yet?" Price yelled.

"Hang on Captain! The kettle isn't whistling yet!" Roach replied running to the kitchen leaving an amazed Maxine behind. A few minutes later Francine approached her.

No words were spoken as Maxine immediately wrapped her sister around her arms, she was really all she had and she was guilty that she couldn't remember her when they first met.

"I'm glad you found me… even amidst this mess." Maxine whispered to France's ears. She could feel her tears falling on her as they enjoyed the tender moment of their reunion.

"I remembered only one memory. Of us before we separated and lived independently. I think it's all I needed to truly tell who I am." Maxine said as Francine sobbed.

"I love you sis." France hugged again as they both cried.

Next Chapter : Going Dark Part 1

Notification Squad my Beloved

@smokeywhalee @samatedeansbroccoli @enderio @whimsywispsblog @beemybee @ricinbach

[greenorangevioletgrass]

Can you do a blurb for Tom? Can I be at Christmas with the reader and Holland & Co. with time parents too? Make it super fluffy and funny. Thanks !

A/N: sorry this took a while to finish! There's so many things I wanna do with this, but I decided to settle on this angle. Anyway, I thought it fitting since we're celebrating Eid here (which is probably the closest Muslim equivalent to Christmas) so... Happy reading! 💕

It's your first time celebrating Christmas with Tom and his family after spending last Christmas with your family. You'd been very nervous at first, but you're quick to find out how warm and lovely (and most importantly silly) they are.

It's Christmas Eve and you're sitting next to Sam on the piano bench, playing some Elton John with Dom, Nikki, and Harry singing along, all blissfully tipsy from wine.

"Don't let the sun go down on me, because it sounds painful to have 'em suck off my..." Sam croons out some improvised lyrics, and pauses to think of a rhyme.

"Pee-pee?" you suggest.

His fingers flourish on the keys and he sings loud and proud, "suck off my pee-pee!"

"I'd just allow a fragment of myself a tad crispy… oh!" you continue, making your boyfriend's little brother giggle.

"But losing everything," you and Sam hit the chords in sync, Sam on the higher octave and you on the lower. "Feels like the sun going down on me!"

Sam draws out more flourishes while you do a silly vocal riff for the big finish. The performance is well-received by your three-person audience who showers you and the younger boy with cheers and applauds.

In the kitchen, Tom and Paddy are snickering over what they hear while they're doing the dishes.

"Gosh, she's so cool and funny," Paddy thinks out loud as he dries off a plate.

"Lay off, that's my girlfriend." Tom splashes some water on Paddy's face mischievously.

"Hey!" he wipes it off with his sleeve. "I'm just saying. I think I like her more than you."

Tom clutches his chest in mock hurt. "Ouch."

"As an older sibling, ya know?"

"Well," Tom thinks for a moment, and then remembers something. "Actually…"

Paddy eyes him curiously as his eldest brother rinses his hands and dries it off with another tea towel. Then, he reaches into his pocket and fishes out something that looks like a business card holder.

Tom looks around and lowers his voice anyway, even though there's no one else there. "If all goes well, she might be, for real."

He opens the lid and an engagement ring pops out. Paddy doesn't know a single thing about rings, but it sure is sparkly and pretty.

"Holy shit!" the youngest Holland gasps.

"I didn't wanna carry around a huge ring box, that's a bit too obvious, but…" Tom scratches the back of his head.

"Does anybody else know?"

"I mean, I talked to Mum and Dad a while ago, Harry and Sam kinda know but they have no idea I got the ring and everything, but... Yeah, that's about it."

"So I'm the last to know in this house?" Paddy crosses his arms.

"Oh, come on. I'm sorry, Pads! I know you don't like this kind of grown-up talk anyway."

"But still! Are you gonna propose tonight?"

"Maybe. I'll probably wait until it's just the two of us, though, way later tonight when we--"

"Stop stop stop, I don't need to hear what you guys do when you're alone!" Paddy winces, covering his ears.

"I meant when we're home, man. Get your horny teenage head out of the gutter," Tom elbows him lightly. "Anyway. Wish me luck?"

He rolls his eyes, but smiles his signature Paddy smile anyway. "Fine. But only because I love Y/N."

"Love you, too, Padster Man." Tom snaps the ring box shut and stuffs it back into his pocket, ruffling his baby brother's hair as he goes back into the living room.

"Mate, you haven't finished washing! Nobhead."

[lilpuffyart]

Puffy: I'm feeling down, so I'm gonna vent..

Puffy: Btw, here's some tiny ref sheet for Funtime Freddy.

KA: *downloads ref sheet* Gosh darn it, Puffy. *opens Ibispaint X* You're making this so easy for me. *opens new canvas* You're making my job of diiscovering what to draw for you so easy.

▪︎▪︎▪︎

Ay, it's ya boy, "-guy who appears too constantly on this blog and surely has annoyed everyone out of their minds because 'jfc does this boy have no chill?'-"

Jokes aside, pLEASE do not feel like you forced me to do this. I figured at this point everyone knows if you're feeling down, you can't hide from me and my fury including a fanart for you and some shitty comforting words-

Look, straight up, I'm gonna be honest: I'm not really great with comforting, we all know that. And we all know I'm not good at understanding 100% what's going on, so I'll try my best.

Look, there's always a light at the end of the tunnel, and sure that at the moment you're stuck in the middle of the tunnel full of, let's say, shadows grasping at you and making things harder, perhaps your life harder, to the point of making you not even want to be here- Sure, you have all of that at the moment, know that you can still just drop kick those shadows off ya and everything will be bright again, up until you find yourself in an o t h er tunnel, but that's how life works, ain't it? Hah.

Uhm, I'm not good with expressing myself, am I? And I probably misunderstood your situation, thanks to my incredible amazing autistic Brain misunderstanding stuff. My point is, I understand the feeling of wanting to disappear because of something, I... Shucks, am going through something similar and me almost failing school year as a whole because of home problems making stuff harder, but that ain't the point.

Uhm, all I wanna say is: I hope this will cheer you up somehow, I'm truly sorry for quite possibly misunderstanding whatever is going on and I'm sorry for not being of much help- I get wanting to vanish because of something bad happening- I have no words for comfort, besides "please don't vanish as there are people who care about you" but I fucked up that sentence with my incomprehensible mumbling and complete possible misunderstanding over the situation- Still, I hope ya get what I mean, ay?

Just, take this gift, maybe it'll cheer you up better than... Whatever the hell is this trainwreck I just wrote, lmao.

I bET Ya WerE(n'T) eXpEcTinG mE, wEre Ya? Happy 'KA' Frog

°•○●□■□●○•°

DHDHDJDJDJDJDJXJXHDJDJCJFJFDJ OH N O MY BRAIN GOES 8 TO 80 TOO FAST IM SO S O R R Y

Well, I'm glad you don't feel forced to ;;--;; I really don't wanna bother you or anyone else- btw, I s u r e people don't mind you interacting, or at least I don't and since it's my blog you're 100% free to come and go lol HDJDJFJFFJJXJXJ

Thank you so so much for your support ;;;--;;; hopefully the semester will be over and even if I'm sure I'll fail, things will get better-

AnYwAy, I love how your watermark makes it feel like a puzzle- it's so cute HDJDJDJCJCXJXJJC and Stephan always look like a baby in your style ;;--;; I would openly die for him

[kayleebreanne09]

I feel so sad!

John b x reader. With a little bit of ex Rafe x reader.

So I was listening to the song You should be sad by Halsey. I’m lowkey obsessed with it & I immediately thought about this blurb idea. So the reader was with Rafe, they had a really toxic relationship & she ran away. John b saves her & puts her back together. Obviously Halsey wrote this amazing song but just for the sake of the fic, the (Y/n) character writes it. Alright I hope y’all like this because it was really fun to write. Love yall💜

It’d been 3 months since you’d ran away from everything kook related. 3 months that a certain messy haired brunette pogue had spent trying to piece your heart back together. 3 months since you ended the most toxic relationship you’ve ever had in your life. You sat on the log, curled up against John B in front of the nightly fire y’all had at the chateau. On your other side was Kie, smiling happily at you, & across the fire, JJ & Pope goofed off. These were your people now. They’d put you back together when it seemed impossible that all the pieces would ever fit right again. JJ made some stupid joke & everyone just groaned but I couldn’t help but laugh. He jumped up & ran over to me to high five me! He threw his hand up in the air a little too close to me & my body automatically flinched. My heart started to race & my vision started to go fuzzy. I ran inside, desperately trying to get air into my lungs. I raced into the bathroom, jumping in the shower & turning the water on. I sank to the floor of the shower, all my clothes still on. I sat there with my knees up to my chest & my arms curled around them, trying to keep myself from breaking. I heard footsteps & a deep sigh that I knew belonged to my boyfriend. I felt John B step into the shower behind me, sitting down with his legs on either side of me & leaning up so his head was resting on my back. “Baby, breathe. You are safe. You aren’t with Rafe anymore, no one will ever touch you again. I will always protect you” he whispered slowly drawing words on my back. He sat there drawing random shapes as the water soaked ya both. “Let’s play a game...guess what I’m writing” he then drew what felt like 12 letters. “J” I guessed for the first letter. “Yes!” He replied...we went on like that until I figured it out. “JJ is a dumbass? Really John B?” I let out a small laugh. “Okay next one” John B said as he started drawing his fingertip along the sopping wet back of my shirt. “I love you” I guessed once he’d finished the last letter. He pulled me back against him & I felt some of the tension leave my body. “Yes. & I’ll never stop loving you. I will always be the best I can for you, I’ll never let you go through what you went through before” he stated, pressing a kiss to my cheek. “I love you John B. So much” I said turning & giving him a long kiss, hoping that he could feel just how much I needed him.

The next day, I was sitting on the kitchen counter watching John B make pancakes. My gaze kept drifting out the window to the calm water. Last night had stirred up some memories that were hard to deal with. Poor John B had been up half the night trying to soothe me back to sleep from my stupid nightmares. “Hey babe” John b said pulling my attention back to him. “Yeah baby, what’s up?” I asked smiling at him. “If you’re getting overwhelmed with stuff from the past, maybe you should write about it” he offered, looking back to the pan to flip the pancake. John b knew that I loved writing. It helped me get everything out. I wouldn’t call myself a song writer but I did love taking things that I’d been through & putting them into lyrics that maybe other people could relate to. If I could just help one person get through something, it’d be making a difference & that was all that I wanted. I jumped down & went to hug him from the back. I rested my head against his warm skin & just enjoyed the feeling of having John B in my arms. “That’s a good idea!” I said pressing a quick kiss to his back. “Good! Because I already texted Kie & she’s bringing her ukulele over to help” he said spinning around & swatting me on the butt with the spatula. I stood on my tip toes & pressed my lips to his as he pulled me into him. “You really are the best” I breathed out.

Kie & I sat in the hammock together, legs intertwined. She had her ukulele in her lap & I had my lyric book in mine. She reached over & pulled my pencil from behind my ear, & slid it into my hand. “Get to writing sister, I need to hear what these lyrics sound like before I can come up with a melody. Also, I’m sorry about JJ last night. He didn’t know your history with Rafe & pope chewed his ass pretty good about it.” She said as she laughed loudly. “It’s fine Kie. I just, I know what I want to say...I guess it’s just putting it into actual words is hard. Like I’m not conflicted, I’m 100% over Rafe, I just feel like none of his friends will tell him the truth. They won’t tell him that he’s turned into this monster & I feel like maybe if someone would just be honest with him, maybe he could change & find happiness in his life like I have with John B” I smiled toward the dock where John B was cleaning out the HMS Pogue. “Start there then!” Kie replied. & I did. My mind drifted back...

“Rafe, you’ve got to stop with the drugs. I can help you! You aren’t you anymo-“ I was cut off my his hand grabbing my throat & shoving me back against the wall. “Don’t tell me what I’ve got to do bitch” he snarled. His eyes were dark & pupils so dilated that I didnt even see the man that I’d grown to care about anymore. “I NEED the money, the drugs, the nice cars...I don’t need you. So you better watch the way you’re talking to me” he said, finally releasing my throat. I sank to the floor rubbing my neck where I knew bruises would form later. I took a deep breath & stood up. “I won’t do this anymore. You’ve broken me enough. You are toxic & I’m done. I’m gone & don’t you dare try to find me” I took one final look at the monster he’d become & walked away.

Kie watched as I stared off, my eyes tearing up. I felt her grab my hand & squeeze, just letting me know she was there. “I know what to write!” I said quickly scribbling down everything I wanted to say.

“I wanna start this out and say

I gotta get it off my chest

Got no anger, got no malice

Just a little bit of regret

Know nobody else will tell you

So there's some things I gotta say

Gonna jot it down and then get it out

And then I'll be on my way

No, you're not half the man you think that you are

And you can't fill the hole inside of you with money, drugs and cars

I'm so glad I never ever had a baby with you

'Cause you can't love nothin' unless there's somethin' in it for you

Oh, I feel so sorry

I feel so sad

I tried to help you

It just made you mad

And I had no warnin'

About who you are

I'm just glad I made it out without breakin' down

And then ran so fuckin' far

That you would never ever touch me again

Won't see your alligator tears

'Cause, no, I've had enough…”

Kie leaned over eyes scanning over what I’d written. “(Y/N) this is good. No, it’s amazing. I mean, I don’t even know what to say” she said hugging me tightly. “Thanks for always being there Kie” I said, leaning my head on her shoulder as the hug ended. “Now let’s get to work on this melody!”

A month passed & id been hired to play at midsummers. JJ had heard the song Kie & I came up with at the chateau & while working one day, he heard about talent tryouts to play at midsummers. He relayed the message & Kie & I went & tried out. Apparently they liked us because we were one of the acts that were hired to play. Everything went so fast & suddenly, it was a couple hours before midsummers was supposed to start. I stood in John B’s room, sliding on the dress that I’d gotten. It was a deep vneck off white dress with silver beading. John B walked in & wrapped his arms around me, looking at our reflection in the mirror. “You are so beautiful baby. You are going to be amazing tonight” I smiled at his reflection. “Are you sure you & JJ can pull off sneaking in as waiters?” I questioned. “Of course sweetheart, we are total badassea at going incognito” he said smirking. I turned around, wrapping my arms around his neck. “Good. I don’t think I could get through tonight without you” I whispered. He leaned down & brought his lips to mine. “You’ll never have to go through anything without me” he said squeezing my hips, pulling me closer to him & refusing to let me go until it was time to leave.

The lights facing the stage were blinding. I felt way too many eyes on me & way too many kooks judging me. Kie nudged my arm, smiling over at me & started to play. I put every ounce of emotion that I had into that performance. All the sadness from an ended relationship, & all the hope that I had that one day Rafe would find happiness. He & I were never meant to be, I understood that now. I just wanted him to get the help he needed. A single tear slipped down my face as I sang the last line. I wiped it away, grabbing Kies hand & bowing as the crowd cheered. I scanned the crowd to see Pope, JJ, & John B cheering in the back! “That’s my girl!” John b hollered. Security saw him & started making their way over. “Shit. Come on guys! Mandatory pogue meeting at the chateau!” JJ yelled. Kie ran to JJ as he spun her around & she then threw her arms around JJ & Pope. “Cmon baby!” John b yelled. I yanked up the bottom of my dress, kicked off my heels, grabbing them off the ground & took off running....Launching myself into his waiting arms. He kissed me long & hard. “Time to go!” He said pulling my hand & dancing away right as the pissed off security guard dove at us. I threw my head back laughing as John B bent down & I jumped on his back. He carried me all the way to the waiting HMS Pogue & we all rode off into the night.

Rafe stood in silence staring after the girl he had lost. He knew he’d done everything wrong in the relationship. Maybe she was right. Maybe the drugs couldn’t fill the hole he had inside. He decided then & there that he would get clean. He would fix things with his dad. He finally had closure, & maybe one day, he would find the love that he knew she had found.