#or maybe caffeine withdraw
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It's no spoons chewsday 😞
#euggghh#idk if I'm just tired#or maybe caffeine withdraw#or that two days off is not enough time to recover#i need life to just pause for a year
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ynow i always feel like caffine does absolutely nothing to me
bc i can have coffee and im feeling anywhere from on any given day: tired sleepy, riddled with anxiety and/or hypersensitivity, and 🧍 emoji irl
then days where i give the coffee a skip, i can range from: tired sleepy, riddled with anxiety and/or hypersensitivity, 🧍emoji irl
i dont think days with coffee strike me as any particular state more than others compared to days without coffee
#using autism creacher as a visual reference#i dont think the caffine helps with anything#it just enters the body then.... nothing#autism creature#autism#adhd#potentially#its a heavy part of the adhd selfdx#that and the memory#autistic#actually autistic#coffee#caffeine#i did stop drinking it for like 1-2 weeks and i felt the exact same as when i was drinking coffee#i stopped bc eczema flare up and was trying to find out if it was the coffee causing it#spoilers: it wasnt the coffee#i also didnt have any withdrawals? maybe i havent been drinking that much/long enough to get withdrawals?#no headaches or whatever in that timeframe#ofc i do also get days where im brrrrrr and i git the energy but like#thats not a coffee day only event#this one is doing numbers just a lil bit huh
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The problem with reddit is that you can go on the migraine board with your PhD in biology having read the literature regarding food triggers and tell people that the chocolate thing is a myth, and get downvoted by twenty people who claim "well I get a migraine every time I eat a piece of 90% dark chocolate (though not 75% or 95%, JUST 90%!!!) on the full moon, so scientists don't know everything because triggers are all so personal!!!!" and then get called an asshole because apparently believing that chocolate triggers migraines is like key to their identity or something
#I really need to quit reddit#triggers aren't very personal#weather bright lights perfume stress sleep disturbances hunger#these are the most common triggers#and most people who have chronic migraines have all of those triggers#oh and hormones#oh and alcohol duhhhh#and caffeine withdrawal#all very reliable predictors of migraine in people prone to migraine#and like... maybe not everyone has all those triggers but#in people who claim they are sensitive to those triggers scientists can test them and go yup#not so with chocolate
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I will say something I am proud of is being caffeine free for almost a week now and I’ve decided I’m REALLY gonna try to limit my caffeine intake from here on out because I’m starting to realize it’s really really bad for me.
#personal#Maybe one soda/coffee a week? I wanna cut it completely but baby steps…#Early New Year’s resolution… Totally normal things for an almost 30 year old to make as their resolution.#It’s just not good for me. It’s rotting my teeth. It’s making me miserable and MORE tired.#I’ve been bringing my water bottle to work every day with water and some Gatorade powder and it helps.#Also helps save me money too in the long run. Win-win for me.#Thankfulky no caffeine withdrawal symptoms from me… yet.
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It’s weird that Scythe Faraday casually entered Citra’s house just to eat in the beginning of the first book but honestly it’s just really funny.
Like everyone in the house is just nervous and confused while he’s just sitting there and enjoying that baked ziti like it’s nothing.
I mean his victim wasn’t home yet and he smelled that baked ziti and decided, “Oh yeah, let me just take a quick break and eat at a stranger’s house.” Which I can see why it might be weird but like I would do that too.
Like come on, what am I supposed to do if one of my victims isn’t home yet? Am I supposed to just keep on going with my day or what, play Subway Surfers on my phone while I wait for them to come home?
Honestly, this might be one of my reasons why he’s my favorite character. He’s a pretty great old man who just needs a nice simple break like any elderly man.
And also, I need coffee and send me any god damn questions for me to answer while I wait for my impending doom. Ignore that or not.
#arc of a scythe#aoas#pre lobotomy thought#im so bored#scythe faraday#he’s just like me for real#the hyperfixation is insane#maybe i’m experiencing withdrawal symptoms#no im not on drugs#im trying to battle this caffeine addiction#someone save me#i don’t wanna get a lobotomy
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i was supposed to go to a party tonight but i’ve been so busy and slept so poorly last night that my exhaustion has kicked in and i have a headache and i’m nauseous and fatigued 😩 staying home and watching a spooky movie tonight instead i fear
#i also think im dehydrated#and i had my coffee like 5 hours late today so i’m maybe in caffeine withdrawals LOL
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hello guess who watched the haikyuu movie yesterday and reignited my love for the series
#me. it's me#I was actually not feeling *that* pumped the days following up to it#which may also just be the effect of caffeine withdrawal and general low mood#but it made my heart so full and happy#and I went back and re-read the chapters that got adapted#and arhhfh#maybe I'll write more about haikyuu another time but it was my first proper anime from back in 2017#and every year? couple of years? half a year? or so I am reminded and rewatch/reread it#and remember how happy the series makes me#the more I think about it the more I realize how important it is to me haha#it's been part of my life for so long it's wild#battle of the garbage dump#haikyuu#rambles#is this what it felt like for all the fnaf fans to watch the fnaf movie lol
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the little crabs under rocks when i flip them over to look at them (and then put their rock back because protecting aquatic homes and ecosystems are important,). going to the lake to do this exact thing today X3
#panic posting#patches posting#having caffeine withdrawals.... someome save me#thanking my girl wife for driving so i can sleep in da car#she's on tumblr maybe u can find her
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oopsie
#So apparently I’m not supposed to have coffee not just bc temp but bc caffeine can affect clotting#and I maybe had a cup of iced coffee#I’m probably fine it was a small cup n I really needed it bc withdrawals#but uhhhh I technically should have waited two more days#Screaming
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cutting sugar does tank your mood but the moment you realize that's the thing that's making you spiral it doesn't feel so bad
#dude i just cut alcohol too#i was binge drinking when i was on vacation last week and the depression bouts in between were fucking awful#and then i cut sugar when i came back because i have been through the goddamn wringer in terms of my interpersonal relationships#and i wanted to start fresh and play the game#the game being attractiveness capitalism#but also i want to be immortal#and i'm wondering why my mood is getting worse when i had so much hope in my heart#it was the withdrawal! the whole time!#i'm also cutting caffeine but way slower but maybe that's causing issues#maybe i should wait to detox from caffeine#idk i don't think i want to go through it all again i think i just want rip off the bandaid once and for all
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My muse: fucking buzzing, vibrating, bearing it's teeth, ready to rip a hole into me in hopes of getting released
My brain: No. Have a bunch of brainfog instead, so you absolutely can't get anything done <3
#{ ♠️ x When everyone knows you're a monster you needn't waste time doing every monstrous thing [OOC] x}#I thought maybe it was bc of caffeine withdrawals but I had 400mg during work today and it made no difference#Here's to hoping it's bc I haven't been taking my heart meds during my time off#And here's to hoping I won't forget again before work later#I just want to write ffs 😭
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Maybe I'm just like, an exceptionally bad person, but posts about how prescription drugs are the same thing as being addicted to alcohol or other substances don't make me want to be nicer to addicts, they just make me feel like I'm supposed to go off of my medication.
Like, you can believe that addicts are people worth caring about and supporting, and still not want to be addicted to something because addiction is by definition something that causes problems for you and/or the people around you.
My grandmother died from alcoholism. I loved her a lot, and the alcoholism was absolutely caused by untreated mental health issues and trauma that built up until they were too big to handle. She deserved better, and wasn't less worthy of that help because of her alcoholism.
But at the same time, my memories of her and her alcoholism are part of why I don't and have never had alcohol, because although it didn't make her less worthy of caring about as a person, it did negatively affect her life and those around her, and I don't want that for myself.
I think that's reasonable. But I don't think it's the same thing as being on an antidepressant, because although an antidepressant alone probably wouldn't have really solved her problems, it also wouldn't have killed her.
It just feels like there's a difference to me between the kind of thing that she went through and someone who drinks coffee once a day or is on a prescribed antidepressant. I feel like there has to be a difference between being on a substance that has withdrawal symptoms and actually being addicted, you know?
And it's okay to acknowledge that and still advocate for treating addicts better.
#and also like#I used to drink coffee and then I stopped and I had no withdrawal symptoms at all or any other differences I could notice#so even substances that are brought up regularly as examples of things that are inherently addictive aren't always?#because different people are affected differently#there are absolutely people who are addicted to caffeine#but I don't think you can extrapolate from that to say that everyone who drinks coffee is addicted to it#or even that everyone who drinks coffee will have withdrawal symptoms if they stop#this is not about anyone I follow I was just on the for you page and maybe shouldn't have been
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tfw u sleep like 4 hours but then u wake up to piss and then u try to go back to sleep and just. cant.
so im running on 4 hours of sleep when i tried to get 8. perfect for my exam in a few hours haha
#speculation nation#negative/#i havent been posting as much bc i have been. mentally in a hole.#ive had a headache for days that just isnt going away. sometimes it's better and sometimes it's worse#i thought it was caffeine withdrawal but i had Plenty of caffeine yesterday and it still didnt go away#my body's been teasing my period for Days which is REALLY frustrating. a lil spotting like 'haha is it gonna start? is it?'#before not showing anything else for a day before doing it again#like for fuck's sake stop making me waste pads & just get it OVER with#it's probably stress. i fucking hate periods and i fucking hate My periods. my body's so fucking picky#anyways i have a triple shot latte bc i knew i'd need it. trying to do some last minute studying#i really dont want to go to this exam. some part of me just wants to say Fuck It and just stop trying with this class entirely#but if i dont go to this exam im not going to have any chance of passing. and i dont want to waste more money.#i'm just... ugh. it's all school. it's All school. always 100% it's school that makes me feel this way.#anytime im working with no school it's tiring but not as bone-deeply agonizing. i never feel rested when i'm in school.#ugh. i hate it so much#menstruation ment/#maybe a little tmi but do i give a shit? not really lmao#you can probably see the sleep deprivation clear as day in this post
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i miss drugs.
#godddd.#sobriety is sooo depressing#i wish i could smoke weed at the very least#i still have dmt that i haven’t done & most likely won’t bc the person who j was supposed to trip w/ghosted me lmao#*i#i’m hooked on caffeine. again.#& diet soda.#ugh. i miss benzos lowkey#no no no. i’m good#no pills#i do NOT want to go thru withdrawals#no pills for v#maybe a little weed w/my next paycheck?#i still 100% prefer to cope w/weed instead of food/coffee/diet soda#pger
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I miscalculated it’s actually in 1 hour and I have gotten zero sleep. I’ve been trying for like, 5 hours now and no sleep. I hate this.
#is it insomnia? is it depression? is it anxiety? is it all of the above?#but ik for a FACT it’s not the caffeine addiction bc i haven’t been able to intake caffeine in like four days#OH IS IT WITHDRAWALS MAYBE????#idk i hadn’t thought about it till now#but oh well night guys ✌️#silver and golden words
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ok ive been avoiding sugar and caffeine to stop this weird morning/ afternoon panic attack thing. then this morning and yesterday i had a little monster and my heart settled down and i dont have that cold feeling in my chest anymore
dude what gives
maybe its some kinda equilibrium bullshit
#maybe its the b vitamins#my teeth are white as hell rn btw#and i lost a pants size by being so incredibly nervous i dont want to eat#a chuahahha and a grizzly bear are currently inhabiting my body#ohhh maybe it's caffeine and sugar withdrawal symptoms thats exasperating panic attacks#girl i am so messed up
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