#or like. ways to stim more discreetly

[avaredava]

Riding whatever jjk man you want in the car? Honestly, the meaner the better.

Oh God I'm drooling already 🤤

Kisses ❤️

Okiee btw i LOVE all your ideas ❤ (please marry me 😁)

MDNI

Master list's

⯌ Sum

Riding jjk men in the car 👄😆(◕દ◕)

⯌Warnings

Fem!reader, dom boys, customized sex toys, money spending (ofc), Satoru sitting beside you and suguru while ya'll fuck but for like a second, edging, clit stim, teasing, degradation, Breeding Kink, Overstimulation, semi-public sex, Degradation, Name-calling, kinda forced crawling, Power Imbalance, Spanking (A shit ton of ass spanking in Suguru's), Cockwarming, begging, Praise Kink, breeding kink, Possessiveness

⯌ The men

Satoru Gojo, Suguru Geto, Toji Fushiguro

A\N:

Lowkey made Toji a biker man and fucked you on his bike. i honestly don't think he'd own or afford a car. Its hot anyway 😍

୨୧・・・・୨୧

Satoru Gojo /ᐠ｡ꞈ｡ᐟ\

He'd always spoil his favourite girl. Buttt- he does always spoil himself too. I mean he is rich, so why not. So he has a nice car. Black Ferrari with blue accents. Leather seats.

Black tint.

There are a few reasons why it's fully black and you can't see through it. One being just in case there's a need to change clothes (happened before), number two, cops- he doesn't like to talk about why.

Three.

Making his pretty girl feel special, to fog up the windows, to make jaw dropping pleasure and shaky, loud breaths. And fuck you raw while your tied up or blindfolded with his blindfold of course.

That is his favourite part of having tint.

You were obviously shopping (with his black card), and he made Ijichi drive you both around today. So he could... have some fun. He made sure to get the limo not his lambo so it has the screen to separate the back to the drivers seat.

And a sound barrier.

He needs his perfect pretty girl to scream and cry.

In a good way of course.

He pulled up to the front doors of the wall and you came running out with bags and a ring with his initials, to make everyone know your his.

You have a big smile on your face and he grins coming out of the limo and takes your bags and holds you in his arms and kisses all over your face.

He brings you into the car and closes the screen. Making sure Igichi would not see his girl or more hear his girl. Your moans are made by him and owned by him.

With his money he got a special toy for you. As Igichi drives you're sitting on his lap as he's bouncing his knee bouncing you a bit.

This sex toy was a very small measured (he sent you clit measurements for the place) suction for the clit. It also vibrates and has a small nub thing that rubs on the inside. So it's super stimulating.

He got a key with a box. Is to put the remote in the box pull up your panties with the toy on and lock it in the box and throw the key and make you crawl in the moving car for it.

He starts his plan.

Instead of foreplay... he decided different.

"Strip."

You turn around on his lap with your jaw gaped open. "Toru-"

"Did I fucking stutter?"

You slowly take off your clothes, you know there is no way of getting out of this. You never have. You're left in your panties and bra. He unclasped your bra and you let out a whimper when he puts your nipple in his mouth.

His warm mouth warmed your tit making some feeling that only he can make you feel, no other man made you feel like this so sexy, so pleased. He moaned into tit as you bat your long lashes at him staring at him like he's the most beautiful man ever (he is). It just made his cock throb.

He slides off your panties sucking on your neck as he rubs your folds. He lightly brushes by your clit discreetly putting the toy on your clit. He quickly turned the toy on and you gasped as he threw the remote in the small box and locked it and threw the key across the car.

"Satoru!" You cry out. "What the f-" You got cut off as the vibrations knocked up a notch and he grinned. You crawl on the floor looking for the key as he slides your panties up so it's harder for you to take it off.

"Toru! Please get the remote." You beg as you shake on the floor as it suctions, vibrates and rubs. "Find the key pretty." He bluntly says. You are absolutely shocked. "Satoru, what the hell!?" You try to keep being mad but it feels so good.

You crawl on the floor like a little slut, his little slut, and he grins pouring himself a glass a wine with a smile. He sat all there distinguished in a tie and suit while your crawling on the floor mascara running down you face and in pretty pink panties.

He chuckles and continues sipping his whine. He leaned over and smacked your ass to make you whine out because that's favourite sound and it's fucking music to his ears.

You find the key and crawl back on the seats and shakily unlock the box taking out the remote. Before you clicked the off button Satoru took it back.

"Make me cum and then I'll turn it off..."

"Satoru! Please..." You whine, begging for this overstimulation to stop. "You have a safe word pretty girl. If you want me to stop that bad, I would, you know that."

He grabs your hands and sits you on his lap pulling your panties back down. He pulls out his cock and pumps it a few times before he slowly sinks you on it.

He throws his head back sexily, showing his long slender neck. God that just made you tighten around him. You slowly start to move up and down on his cock.

God the way he smiled it just made you bounce faster.

"Faster."

He slapped your ass again making you ride him faster. He cums inside, you're quite thankful for your birth control or you would be extremely pregnant right now especially the fact that Gojo hates condoms.

He stops the vibrations after you squeeze around him and cum. His dick is sensitive so he pulls you off of him and kisses your sweaty forehead.

He helps you get dressed and kisses your forehead.

"Such a good girl for me..."

Suguru Geto ♡(> ਊ <)♡

One thing Suguru does not give a shit about is where he fucks you. He would of course not do it somewhere you don't want but to him? He doesn't care.

So that's how you ended up taking his cock in the passenger seat while his best friend Satoru is watching you both driving.

"Damn calm down Suguru your gonna break her-"

"Keep your eyes on the fucking road and don't speak or look at her she's mine dumbass." Suguru groaned as he bounced you more on his cock.

Satoru chuckled and pulled over to the side of the road. "I ain't watching this shit anymore." He gets out of the car and walks down the road.

Suguru doesn't care where he's going he's too focused on how good your pussy's sucking him up and taking him.

"F-Fucker." You hollered as his tip bruised your cervix. Wrapping around him like a vice. "You're so tight- shit."

He refuses to be fully dominated so he shakily runs a hand down down your body and he rubs quick circles on your clit.

You move quicker chasing your orgasm before he takes his hand away leaving the burning feeling in your stomach as he stops you from moving too.

"P-Please don't stop, Sugu, it hurts!" Tears pricked at your eyes as he slapped your ass as he continued to cockwarm him.

His tip was pushing against your g-spot so that didn't make it any better. It was so hot and sweaty and cramped in there all you wanted to do was cling to him.

He kissed your forehead and you moaned from his touch alone. God this man was breath taking.

"Beg."

Your eyes widen as that one word escapes his mouth. "W-What?" You stutter out still sensitive from everything. "Did I fucking stutter?" He looks you dead in the eyes with a cold serious stare. But that mean grin just got you wetter.

At this point you had to beg.

"Please Sat- I mean Sugu." You accidentally almost said Satoru. You're too cock drunk to know the difference. His eyes filled up with something you've never seen in him.

He grabbed your hair and pulled your face closer to him. "Your gonna fucking take something before you get my cock. But you're gonna sit here on my cock with no movement. Such a bad girl."

He turned you around on him with his cock still inside so your ass is facing him. You grab on to the dashboard as you feel his hot breath on your neck.

You know you're in trouble.

He lands a hand to your ass causing a pleasurable sting. He keeps hitting till your ass was cherry red. Tears roll down your face from the pain but then again it's Suguru so you don't have much say.

He starts to feel a little bad and rubs your ass, gently kissing your neck. He turns you back around and kisses your lips. He starts to bounce you on his cock.

The pleasureful burn in your stomach reappears. You let out a small moan at his thick cock hitting spots that only he can reach. Instead of stopping he continues.

He rubs your clit extremely fast once more making you bounce harder and at this point your moans turned into screams.

You finally cum in unison with him. His cum warming your walls as your squirt drips down on his cock.

He pulls you off of him as you sit on his lap wincing at the burn on your ass.

You instantly fall asleep.

He dresses you and holds you on his lap holding you close kissing your forehead.

He looked up and saw Satoru in the bushes with his cock in his hand grinning at him when they made eye contact.

"For fucks sake-"

Toji Fushiguro ⁄(⁄ ⁄•⁄-⁄•⁄ ⁄)⁄

It was late at night, the air was crisp and cold. You're walking around a parking garage trying to find your boyfriend- Toji.

You quickly found him standing by his motorcycle with one of compression shirts and his grey sweats.

He gives you a tight hug. "Hey pretty." He says in his deep enveloping voice that send shivers down your spine.

His musky scent makes all your senses water. God this man was fucking perfect. All though to him he's nothing. He swears you're the most gorgeous, perfect thing in the universe.

But you always remind him that he's perfect too. Reminding him of that, maybe being cuddles, compliments, or something like that. But his personal favourite is your special compliments to his dick.

God that makes his ego spike over the roof.

"I need some support baby, I'm not feeling 100%..." He said in a sappy tone. You were about to get sappy for him but then...

It hit you. He never would get all corny like this unless it was for sex. But you decide to humour him anyway.

"Oh no baby? What's wrong?" You say in an obvious sarcastic tone. "Something wrong down here?" You pat his crotch and he jolts with that handsome smirk of his.

He holds you close. "Maybe I do." He says in that tone of his that makes your thighs clench and your panties wet, no soaked.

He flipped up your skirt up and pulled your panties to the side making you bend over on his bike.

"Toji we are in fucking public!" You hissed at him quietly. There weren't many people around but still there might be cameras or people since it's a fucking parking garage.

He took out his cock and slapped his cock against your folds and swiped it making sure it's soaked with your juices. Making sure it's lubed enough because he is quite big and he would never want to hurt his pretty girl.

He slowly pushed it making you grab on to his bike and squeeze your eyes shut at the immaculate stretch.

"Y-Your so big..." Fat tears rolled down your face as he began snapping his hips, his tip hitting your cervix and his thick veins massaging all your sweet spots.

You finish on him and he cums inside, massive fucking amounts of it.

He pulls out fingering the cum back inside before he sits on his bike. He pulls you on his lap and bounces you on his cock.

"What kinda boyfriend would I be if I didn't make you come not once but twice."

There you were riding his cock, feeling so fucking good. You didn't care about being caught anymore, all you cared about was how good all of this felt.

His happy trail was scratching against your clit and it made you whine out and he grabbed the plush of your ass helping you move up and down faster.

You finally squirted with one of your squeals and your walls gripping his cock all so nicely he came too.

You were so stuffed with his cum it was dripping out.

He stood up and pulled your panties back up and your skirt back down and not scrunched around your hips.

"It's messy..." You whined into his ear with a pout and he kissed it because how cute it was.

"Good because you belong to me sweet girl, never forget that. And this is a good way to make sure you feel it too."

୨୧・・・・୨୧

Ya'll this was in my drafts i forgot to finish it sryyy but now it's done <3 😭

[mandoriana]

HEADCANON OF ARTHUR PENDRAGON

Okay, so maybe I'm designing a little bit, but I really think Arthur has autism and Merlin ADHD, so I brought some headcanon on Arthur and then I'll bring a post with Merlin headcanon.

Arthur definitely feels he needs to earn everything in his life, like affection, respect, or any form of good things happening to him.

He saves lives, or so he says, but it's more like he's saving to try to make up for the ones he took and to earn the right to be alive, which is an absurd thing to believe, but he believes it.

Arthur used to stim by waving his hands or humming a tune, but his father saw this as impertinence and disobedience, so he started punishing Arthur whenever he did it.

Gaius identified signs of "mental illness" in Arthur at the age of 8, and when he told Uther, he was ordered never to tell anyone.

Arthur feels ashamed of himself, so he would rather die than tell anyone about his "illness."

This often leads to people misunderstanding him, but part of him feels that this is what he deserves. Like, he thinks he would hate being judged for his mental illness because he doesn't like the idea of his actions being retroactively justified or excused, not being self-aware enough to realize that this horribly elevated sense of hyper-responsibility over simply screwing up everything in his life is, in itself, a response to trauma. Also, he is the biggest hypocrite, wanting to save lives but never trying to save himself, always putting himself in danger without caring about his own life.

Arthur has some insane standards that he forces himself to meet. He works non-stop as a prince and knight, always doing something, unable to stay still or even sleep until everything is done. He skips meals, neglects his well-being, puts everything at risk, and expects himself to do this every day, every hour, without fail, every time.

The main reason Arthur never had a personal servant for too long is that no one could understand the prince's needs; they brought the wrong breakfast, at the wrong time, and in the wrong way; they tried to touch him without permission or approached too quickly, which unnerved the prince; they also cleaned his room and left everything with strong smells that Arthur hated.

His comfort food is fig pudding, but his father forbade him from eating it to not ruin his diet and good looks. Merlin steals some pies for Arthur when he feels his prince is down.

Arthur doesn't like rough fabrics or tight clothes.

Physical contact is not accepted unless Arthur initiates it himself.

He can't stand strong smells, so he abhors being near some court ladies who overdo it with perfume.

His hyperfocus is on war strategies and Greek tragedies.

Arthur loves wearing armor; the weight of the armor and his cape brings him comfort.

When overwhelmed, Arthur crouches, wraps himself in his cape, and covers his ears.

He feels really hurt when someone speaks ill of him because he doesn't know when they are being sincere or not, the only exception being Merlin, whom Arthur knows is just joking.

Merlin is his emotional support person.

The first time Arthur had a sensory overload in front of Merlin, he expected to be punished for it, but Merlin just started questioning what Arthur needed and began taking care of him.

Arthur's comfort person is Merlin.

Arthur gets anxious in crowded places, but if Merlin is in sight, he can calm down.

When he becomes king and needs to give speeches, Merlin stands behind him, discreetly holding his hand so Arthur doesn't feel nervous.

To the knights, Arthur is the serious and quiet part of the duo, but when he is alone with Merlin, he talks a lot.

He likes to give gifts to Merlin, especially clothes that he finds comfortable and in beautiful colors.

Merlin has an almost inexhaustible energy, always moving and doing something. This can be irritating to some, but Arthur finds comfort in Merlin's constant and active presence.

When Arthur has a sensory overload, Merlin knows exactly what to do to calm him down. He creates a calm and safe environment, using his magic to block excessive stimuli.

Arthur has a very rigid daily routine that he follows religiously. Any interruption or unexpected change can make him extremely anxious. Merlin is the biggest advocate for his prince's routine and never lets anything interrupt Arthur.

Besides war strategies and Greek tragedies, Arthur has a deep interest in heraldry and genealogy. He can spend hours studying coats of arms and family trees.

Arthur prefers direct and clear communication. He can get frustrated with indirectness or sarcasm, except when it comes from Merlin, whom he understands better.

Arthur is sensitive to bright lights and prefers environments with soft lighting. He avoids large halls lit by many chandeliers.

Arthur has a collection of small objects that he finds comforting, like smooth stones or old medallions. He likes to hold these objects when he is stressed.

Arthur prefers to focus on one task at a time. He feels overwhelmed when he has to deal with multiple responsibilities simultaneously.

Arthur feels safer in small, confined spaces, like inside a closet or under the bed, rather than in large halls or open areas.

Arthur has an exceptional memory for details, especially related to battles and strategies. He can precisely remember troop movements in past battles.

Before each battle or important event, Arthur follows a specific preparation ritual that helps him focus and calm down.

Arthur sometimes has difficulty reading other people's emotions, which can lead to misunderstandings. He relies on Merlin to help him interpret the intentions of those around him.

[thegaissilent]

AUTISTIC GALINDA MASTERPOST

This shall be my masterpost for Galinda's Autistic traits and her needs and anything else that I may think of in the future will be added here. I am, indeed, diagnosed but every autistic person is different so these are not all my traits and if anything seems weird or out of place, please do let me know!

SENSORY ISSUES:

She is very particular about the kind of fabric that she likes in her clothes, she prefers soft fabrics and is not a fan of anything that weights too much on her. Her Glinda the Good dress used to be sensory hell when she first started using it, but she managed to learn how to enchant it to make it lighter :3

She has issues with noise. It's not how loud it is, but how sudden or how disorganized. She will usually cover up her ears when a sound is bothering her too much. (Honestly? Canon). But when masking, she will cover it with her hair and discreetly tap behind them to focus on that sound instead of whatever is bothering her. (Yes, that is why her bubble is soundproof :3. Sometimes when she's overwhelmed, she just hides inside her bubble.)

Balance is not her strongest suit. She's the kind of autistic kid who used to walk on her toes a lot and as she grew up, she started wearing heels to keep giving herself the same sensation.

She hates having her hair touched by most people. It is very sensitive and when touched without permission, it can make her itchy or feeling like something is weird or wrong. It is also one of her most sensitive spots so it makes her feel extremely vulnerable when touched (the only people who are allowed to do so are Ama Clutch, her mumsie, Elphie and Kelsey once they become besties in Scribe verse. Also her children in verses with them :3)

She's always walked on her tiptoes ever since she was a child. Growing up, she figure out wearing heels was the easiest way to get close to the same feeling and also she actually balances herself better in heels than without them.

STIMMING:

She was once a 'happy hands' autistic child, but she ended up stopping doing that when she realized people would notice too much. However, when not watching herself she will still do it.

Vocal! So much vocal stimming! Singing, echolalia (literal example in the movie when Morrible says "it's just the transition" and she echoes it), making silly noises when she thinks no one else is noticing. She vocal stims a lot.

Bouncing.

Tossing her hair and shaking her head.

MISCELLANOUS TRAITS:

She likes routine quite a bit and has issues to be impulsive. Most of what she does is planned and calculated because of that.

She expresses herself in a way that's big and exaggerated and perhaps not very normal, almost theatrical.

As a kid, she used to need instructions to do basic things such as showering and brushing her teeth. Ama Clutch made her drawings with the steps to each thing and plugged to her wall! :3

She had meltdowns a lot as a child. They used to look ugly and loud, and a lot like tantrums. As she grew up, she started having more shutdowns than meltdowns.

Since Galinda is usually a very agitated person, her shutdowns are very noticeable. She will usually get a headache and suddenly go quiet. She knows how to take care of herself and ideally, she needs to find herself a room to be quiet. Else, she will remain as quiet as possible, stim a lot more and have a very hard time to mask.

Because of her socialization issues, she developed a special interest in society itself and popularity. She learned every little step she would have to take to be popular and have people like her.

She mimics a lot. Most of everything she's learned or thought herself about socializing has been through mimicking.

High masking queen who's overstimulated like 90% of the time, but hides it pretty well :)

[lostlosersclub]

So. Nico Di Angelo HCs :>

ANSBDJDJJ GLADLY!!

be prepared for so much projection

ok so:

• nico is trans, and came out to bianca during the lotus casino. she helped him cut his hair afterwards

• he is also autistic and had a special interest in mythomagic for a long time

• part of why hes not great at interacting with others is the autism

• oh right just bc i say so he also has ocd, ptsd, anxiety, panic disorder, and depression

• hades was always very accepting. i just feel like he would give nico a binder while he was on his own

• binds for way too long. will (who is also trans btw) lectures him on binder safety daily

• he is also physically disabled from his powers. i hc him as using mobility aids. i also hc him as having a hellhound service dog when hes older

• he is often described as twisting his skull ring in the books, so i say that its him fidgeting and stimming discreetly

• favorite fruit is pomegranate

• had an especially hard time grasping the fact that hes gay because he felt guilty for being trans

• when he was outed, cupid also outed him as trans. when jason was the only one who knew, jason would pull him aside to check that he was binding safely

• listens to emo music but less like mcr and stuff hes more of a midwest emo listener

• always wears tons of jewelry like rings and necklaces because he likes fidgeting with them

• wears headphones around his neck for sensory issues, but also to block out the voices of the dead

• has very light freckles and a mole right under his right eye

• goes nonverbal when super stressed out and is prone to panic attacks

• get sunburnt very easily

• lets his hair grow out a bit to around shoulder length once he’s older

• got his ears pierced when he was little, and kept them in to this day

• got more piercings as he got older

• got a star tattoo to match will

sorry this is so long im very passionate about my boy

[midnightwryter]

🚦Traffliclight Trio Shenanigans

Fandom : LEGO Monkie Kid Characters : Red Son, MK, Mei

➥ CW/TW : Implied Spicynoodles/Implied Dragonfruit/Implied Chimera(?)

Hidden Enjoyment ? ➠ Red Son dealing with two people who people on the 'hero's side' isn't usually like him. He doesn't show it much but he can't help find hidden enjoyment in their presence. It's somewhat a comforting feeling. When Mei teases him for being a hero though, he disagrees but tolerates it for them.

Texting !! ➠ Mei and MK having Red Son in a group chat with them is somewhat entertaining. Doing stims and Red Son is often confused about it, so they both have to explain it to him in a way he can understand. In which, he does understand it and after sometime he starts to do it as well. To add on, Red Son probably does some proper form of texting, using full words and sentences. MK and Mei however, probably started texting with both semi-full sentences, shortcuts and tag tones. After some time though, they quickly understood each other even if the text is full of key smashing.

Physical Affection !! ➠ MK and Mei hug and have that good buddy buddy affection they aren't afraid to do in public. Red Son occasionally does the arm touches with both of them and small acts of affection, but doesn't do it often in public. In worry of what his parents or other people would think of the Demon Bull King's son. In private though, MK and Mei assure him that it's okay to show physical affection. He likes the reassuring affection, he doesn't ask for it of the other two, but discreetly asks for it if he's desperate enough.

Warmth !! ➠ In cold weather, MK likes to huddle up between Mei and Red Son. Both having Pyrokinesis, they aren't affected much to the cold. Well Mei at least- because it wasn't too long ago that she had Pyrokinesis.

Partners in Crime !? ➠ Red Son holding both MK and Mei's hands like, "This is my boyfriend. This is my girlfriend."

Protection !!! ➠ These three are considerably protective over each other. Being able to react quickly and take action, no matter the threat. Or if something startles them. Like, a bug. To add on, Red Son is probably the one to consider protecting the other two the most because he is an Demon born with Immortality. Often trying his best to remind the other two that they are mortals, who unfortunately who can succumb to sickness, injuries and death... While MK isn't and does not have Invincibility like he use to, he and Mei are both mortals still with powerful abilities with skills they would still need to learn more in the future.

Combat !! ➠ The trio is noticeably experienced in combat in and with their own skillsets. They all have speed... Red Son probably having the most experience, he is skilled in close combat usually using just his fists to throw calculated hits and punches, and often dodging if he's able to. He also uses his pyrokinesis to aid himself in close combat. MK is able to use his Golden Staff for close combat, and sometimes long ranged combat(via controlling the size of it.) When he did not have his Golden Staff, he is able to do close combat to an extent. Even wrestling if it counts. Mei has her swordsmanship, being any to wield the Dragon Blade at ease. Making her a skilled sword fighter. She also possesses the abilities of Dracokinesis and Pyrokinesis, being able to use draconic energy and control fire to her will. TLDR !! - If they are coordinated enough, they should be able to fight alongside together. Hopefully in sync enough their abilities aren't able to collide with one another.

[saraph-smidgens]

Prologue - Away With The Fairies

I've always been pretty good at recounting my thoughts and experiences and putting them into my writing, so I'll recount this as best as I can in the most story-like way that I can.

October 31st, 2024. Just yesterday, right? The day I first posted on this blog, which occured right after the “experience” that's probably going to have “quite an impact on my everyday life”.

I'd ordered Domino's© to eat, my usual: Texas BBQ and chicken strippers. BBQ and garlic and herb dips. Standard. Two YouTube series that I love had been updated and I had happily consumed the new content along with the meal.

Despite the hot electric blanket and chocolate drink in my skull-shaped mug, I felt… incredibly bored. I watched Coraline for the 1000th time, which I obviously loved, but it didn't lift the heavy feeling in my chest. Neither did putting on super loud music and coming up with music videos in my head for my blorbos. All that did was give me a headache.

Yet again, for probably the 10th year in a row, I'd done nothing for Halloween. I still remember one day, in my old house, where I went trick-or-treating. I don't remember my costume, only going out with my mom across the street and one of my neighbours happily complimenting it.

I know I've long overgrown that spooky ritual, but still, why couldn't I have at least worn a costume to post on Instagram or something?

I just want my life to be more interesting.

Right when I finished that thought, I felt some… change in me. The heaviness in my chest itched and swirled and tightened, and a flurry of half-baked ideas grasped my brain for a moment before leaving as quickly as they arrived. It was similar to the tightness I feel in my chest sometimes when reading an especially angsty fanfiction.

I shook my head and tucked a few strands of sweaty curls behind my ear. It probably meant nothing, just my mind’s way of stimming from the new fandom content I had been handed on a silver platter just a couple of hours ago.

I would've thought nothing else of it if there wasn't a stranger sitting at the foot of my bed.

Before I could comprehend anything else about the image in front of me, I instinctually went to scream bloody murder.

But my throat tightened.

“Hey… Hey!” soft words fell out of the figure’s mouth, “keep quiet, okay?”

My whole body was shaking, and I tried to discreetly turn my head to look towards my desk, where my usual pair of scissors sat. I quickly discarded that idea. At that moment I was tucked underneath my duvet and aforementioned electric blanket, and the figure was in a kneeling position, back straight and looking down at me. They were in a much better position to leap up and grab the sharp item.

Instead I tried to control my sharp breathing and fully comprehend what I was looking at.

A trick-or-treater who didn't share my opinion on when you had outgrown the tradition, I guessed.

Their light purple minidress practically glowed from the glitter on it reflecting the light from the TV, which was currently playing another series that I was mildly obsessed with.

Their hair was an organised mess of voluminous curls, some let loose and others tied with a pink bow to create a half-up half-down style.

Their giant purple butterfly wings where could you get ones that looked so realistic?! almost fluttered a little every time they rocked on their knees, and I could catch a glimpse of a pair of purple heels with little fake butterflies attached to the straps that encircled their ankles.

“Um,” I choked out, every muscle in my legs and arms locking up from adrenaline, “nice costume and all, but trick doesn't equate to home invasion.”

They stared at me for a few seconds before sighing softly and rolling their eyes, “God, I know you're dumb and all, and that you Combos get blinded by fear, but this is kind of a hard thing to miss unless you have literally never looked in the mirror, which I know is not true.”

I stared back for a long minute, my mind just as frozen in my body, before it clicked.

That's. My. Fucking. Face.

My mind came back and immediately rushed around for an explanation. Several came forward.

“No,” the clone(?) interrupted, “you're not dreaming.”

Well, maybe-

“There were no drugs in the Domino's©. Probably.”

Hmm, well-

“I didn't make a silicone mask of your face-”

What if-

“Enough!” They yelled and my thoughts escaped me for a moment.

“First of all,” they sighed, “I can hear your internal dialogue, use she/her please. I know you say on your profiles to use any pronouns but I'm kind of the reason you mildly prefer this set,” they- she then gestured towards her extremely feminine outfit.

But cl-

“I know that clothes don't equal gender, you know what I'm trying to say though.”

“Sorr- wait, wait, wait. Explain literally everything else you've said the past minute. You can hear my thoughts? What do you mean you're why I tend towards she-”

“Oh my God,” her wings stretched out enough to touch the walls, “how has it not clicked yet?! Am I not good enough at my job?!”

I glanced towards my TV again, peeking over her right wing, and let my eyes linger on what was playing. An episode from a YouTube show that I fell in love with in 2018, and left the fandom in 2021, before returning to just a few months ago-

“Do you get it now?”

Everything settled into place.

“You… You're a si-”

“We prefer the term smidgen, actually.”

“...why?”

“Well, y'know how a while ago you were writing a fanfic for that show and wanted some synonyms to use for that word? That was one of the ones you didn't pay attention to when googling it, but I kept it.”

“That doesn't explain why.”

She shrugged, “I don't know, it's just cute.”

I laid back, my head involuntarily shaking gently with my mouth opening and closing like a fish gasping for air after being caught and tossed into the bottom of a boat.

“What are you then? Give me a whole exposition dump, I can take it.”

“I-” she smiled and stretched her arms out to feel the giant butterfly wings, “am your Creativity.”

“Oh,” I hummed, “like Ro-”

“This is nothing like that show, alright?! Sure, our manifestations as people are partially inspired by it but that also comes from, like, Inside Out, and that one CGI short film about two parts of a guy's brain trying to woo a lady! Sever the connection now, I'm begging you!”

The outburst had me pressing my back to my headboard, looking at a copy of my own face with eyes that I then realised were not protected by a pair of glasses and were pointedly not dark brown. And with no pupils. Quite a wacky pair of contacts, I guess.

Then, I quickly sat up, “I- listen, this whole little act has been real cute but you need to leave my hou-”

“Saraph!” She yelled, and continued before I could comment, “don't ask what I know you will, the reason I know your nick-and-name is simple and it's because I. Am. You! Well, a very strong part of you. The bit of you that fell in love with Alexa from Barbie And The Diamond Castle and wants her to be a cottagecore lesbian couple with Liana-”

Something in me snapped, and my breathing picked up again, though the type of fear I was experiencing as I curled up into a ball in my bed was different from the one I felt when I realised I wasn't alone in my bedroom.

“And then Mariposa and Princess Catiana were also- wh- hey, wait, c’mon, it's-”

The other me’s voice became distant as tears welled up in my eyes.

“I've fucking lost it,” I whispered, “I knew the paranoia and floating colours meant there was something up but I decided it was nothing so I said nothing and now I've gone off the deep end, I'm literally talking to myself but I was a fairy princess and-”

“It's okay,” the voice came back, the speaker's wings having relaxed at her sides, “you're not crazy or insane or anything like that, I know for a fact you aren't. You're imaginative at worst- honestly I kinda wish you were mad because that would make writing surrealism much easier- listen, I know that this is very new for you but, well, you kind of asked for it.”

“H-how?” I breathed out.

“Well, about 5 minutes ago you thought to yourself, quote-unquote ‘I just want my life to be more interesting’.”

I groaned and uncurled my body, pressing my hands to my face, “God, I did, didn't I?” I then let my arms fall and sat up again, “but I didn't know this would happen!”

“So?” Creativity smiled, “you're always wanting change. And you're good at adapting to it. This could be a good opportunity for learning new things about ourselves… And for drawing and writing. Like with everything you do.”

I stopped and looked at her, “you just asked me to not make referenc-”

“I meant what I said!” she snapped, but it was gentler than before, “but I just had to get that line in.”

“Alright,” I nodded, “okay, alright, cool.”

For the first moment in the last few, long moments, it was quiet. I realised then that, with this revelation, I might not have as many opportunities for silence as before. Even though I've craved a lack of unnecessary noise for years.

At that moment, I couldn't help but look at the large, thin, pink-purple appendages which stuck out of Creativity's back.

“I like the wings,” I mumbled.

Creativity grinned and stretched them out again, “aw, thanks. They really drive the point home, huh?”

I nodded, “I was going to ask if they were real but I doubt you could have that much control over some pieces of fabric.”

“There probably is someone out there who has created mechanical cosplay wings that you can move,” the smidgen mused, “but you're right. They're real. Well, as real as the rest of me.”

My right pointer finger and thumb came up to rub at my eyes, “so, what happens now?”

“You're sleepy,” Creativity stated, “and on top of that, the clock is about to strike midnight, so I must be gone now if you are to slumber.”

“Why are you talking like that?” I yawned, “I don't like Disney that much.”

“It's the first thing you thought of, isn't it?”

“I guess…” another yawn made a crackly sound fill my ears.

Creativity finally got up from her kneeling position, instead standing on the carpeted floor. The heels made her tower over me from where I shifted to lay down more.

Her voice softened, “your art and writing's going to get so much better from this, let me tell you.”

Before I could respond, she had sunk out.

The room somehow felt emptier than it did before she arrived, but that was soon mended by one of my cats jumping up onto the bed and curling up in the place Creativity had sat just a moment ago.

My eyes grew heavy and my thoughts began to slow down in the way they always did as my brain tried to convince me to sleep.

A human-like being representing all my creative ideas, who I can talk to face-to-face and go over my reverie with…

Maybe that could be better.

Yeah, fucking weird right? Who would've thought the embodiment of my Creativity would take inspiration from my childhood love of Mattel, Inc.'s Barbie movies? And why those ones and not the Rapunzel one? A recluse, introverted painter seems more fitting to my personality than Mariposa. Oh well, I'm writing this right after I woke up on the morning of November 1st, meaning that the spooky month is officially over unless you're those two kids.

Reiterating what I said at the start, I'm pretty good at writing out shit that's happened to me in the form of a story, huh? There may have been a few pieces of dialogue that I missed out but I just woke up, alright? And I was in a state of panic for most of it. Forgive me for my imperfect memory.

I hope this was at least mildly enjoyable for you, and if so, I'll post any more strange happenings with these “smidgens.” as long as this gets more than a handful of notes on Tumblr.

Have a good start to the month with the American colonisation holiday!

[rhadinesthes]

[I decided to make a compilation post of Martin's stim/tic. 'Cause that's a perfectly normal thing to do. It's a lot of text, but if you just want to see the moments, I made all the relevant timestamps blue, 'cause that's a fun color. Honestly, this is becoming A Problem for me.]

So here's the deal. Recently, I was made aware that Martin has this stim/tic where he sticks his tongue out and bites at his lips, often without seeming quite aware of it. It sorta fascinates me (and it's cute), so I decided to keep an eye out for it.

(Usually I tend to rather closely watch his gaze dart around in every direction as if he has no idea where to look. I definitely think it's at least partly an anxiety thing, but now I wonder if it's also an eye contact issue. Ah yes, that thing I never do and always forget about.)

Actually, it's not hard to find footage showing this behavior, so I've compiled a list. As I was watching these vids, I observed actions that I would place into three rough categories: Martin outright sticking his tongue out, Martin biting/pulling at his lips with his teeth/lips, and Martin sort of... very visibly licking his lips, I guess. The third category is hard to describe, which makes the timestamps I've listed quite useful for comparison. Additionally, I've noticed that sometimes he looks down just before or while he does these things, as if he's a bit self-conscious. Other times, he just goes for it. There are also moments whether by angles or video quality or just his movements, one doesn't necessarily see his tongue, but his mouth moves in this very characteristic way which strongly implies to me that he's doing something of this sort. Many of those (some from videos not featured here) seemed too minor to list, so I didn't. I think he has a lot of mouth tics that are just difficult to describe. Interestingly, I also noted Dave and even Fletch licking their lips, though they (usually) did it less often and more discreetly than Martin. (I've colored Dave's timestamps green and Fletch's yellow.) Frankly I don't know what the threshold is for it to cross over from being done in an average/normal way to being done in a tic/stim way. I likely didn't even catch all of the times Fletch and Dave do this sort of thing, as whenever Martin is visible, he has my complete attention.

As an aside, I also have the impression that the way he's always raising his eyebrows is also part of this to some extent. I also noticed that he rubs the sides of his nose a lot. In addition, it seems to me that much of his laughter is very… nervous. Forced, even. Seeking approval, even. It wouldn't surprise me if those are also tics/stims. It's as if he's always laughing things off that he otherwise… wouldn't. I know it's been >40 years, and there's absolutely nothing I can say that hasn't been said 100 times before, but man. I feel alone in this anyway.

The list included here is certainly not exhaustive, however, since I haven't seen every video... and frankly, I don't really want to. I'm being insane enough as it is. Might not stop me in the end, though... The major thing I wanted to do here is showcase it across the decades. The vids from the 80s do seem more... plentiful? Easier to find? I will say they're definitely easier to comb through despite the often very poor quality.

But anyway, I digress. On to footage of Martin doing the things.

First up is a vid from 1985 that's split into two parts. In the first part, he does it at 1:43. In the second part, he does it within the first second (and someone even commented on it) and then again at 0:05 and 0:54. Poor baby really seems like he's dying of boredom this entire time, constantly wiggling and fidgeting with his bracelets and staring off into the middle distance. But I do appreciate him knowing the name of (one of) the diacritics they dropped for the band name, and him hiding behind his hand at the end is extremely cute.

This next one, dated May 4, 1985, is a treasure trove. He does it twelve times in just under nine minutes-- and that's just what's actually visible! I doubt there's a video in existence with a higher rate of Martin doing the thing. It did occur to me that the second part of the previous interview is quite a short video itself, so I actually did the calculation. It turns out that this video's rate is ever so slightly higher. [2x60+16=126 seconds and 126/3=45.333... (once per 45 seconds on average) vs 8x60+49=529 and 529/12=44.08333... (once per 44 seconds on average)] Here's the whole list: 0:28; 1:03; 1:33; 1:43; 1:57; 2:33; 2:37 (though obscured by the potato quality); 5:20; 5:47; 6:37; 7:34; 8:34. There could also be a subtle one at 3:14, but I can't tell for sure due to the quality. He must be spectacularly bored and uncomfortable. The talk about Martin's A-Levels is also intriguing to me. My limited understanding is that they're preparatory classes for university, which leads me to liken them to all of the advanced/college prep classes I took. I thought I read somewhere else that he did do five of them, but he only admits to two here (French and German, I think?). I wonder where the five number came from, then. Perhaps just people's tendencies to exaggerate.

Next is a French TV interview dated May 7, 1986. One of the commenters was even nice enough to list all of the times for us: 1:36, 3:51 (though I'd rather link 3:49), and 5:23 (though I'd also rather link 5:22). Incidentally, 3:49 is the second gif from the post I linked up top.

The next example is from 1987. Martin does the thing at 0:16 and 0:55. 0:16 is the first gif from the post linked up top.

I also found a video of an MTV interview plus the band recording IDs ahead of the Rose Bowl concert, dated April 26, 1988. There's another video that's just the IDs, amusingly notable because its thumbnail features Martin sticking his tongue out. Times when Martin does the thing are: 0:16; 6:32; 9:14; 10:09; 10:38; 11:31.

The next vid is dated September 7, 1988. Martin only does the thing at 1:29, but it's right when the interviewer sticks the mic in his face, which greatly amuses me. This vid also has the acid house moment.

Next up is a VH1 interview from 1997. The subject matter here is pretty rough, but my German isn't good enough and the dub is too dominant to fully understand what they're saying. That remark Martin made about Dave's family, though... holy fuck. That whole exchange was just brutal to behold. Timestamps featuring Martin are: 3:36; 6:06; 19:03; 24:21; 27:13; 28:23; 29:34. Interestingly, I also spotted Fletch doing it at 8:48 and Dave doing it at 9:42 and 19:53.

Following that is the Singles Tour press conference, dated April 20, 1998. I found the subject matter pretty boring, but it has plenty of relevant moments: 4:25; 11:00; 12:24; 14:45; 17:00; 17:50; 18:34; 20:43; 21:59; 23:20; 25:15; 25:22; 28:46. I spotted Dave doing it thrice, at 13:24, 16:01, and 19:03.

Here's a vid consisting of B-roll footage from 2000. This vid is of particular note because it consists of footage not from any public appearance. Martin does the thing while he's on the phone at 5:12, and Anton even zooms in on it (which I find highly amusing). At 6:44, he appears to start running his tongue around the inside of his cheeks. Aside from those, Martin in the rocking recliner is just adorable to watch. Makes me want a rocking chair/recliner to rock in. It's been so long. Is it even possible to not rock in a rocking chair?

Next up is an interview from 2005. We get to see Martin's tongue right out the gate, but it turns out that we don't get to see much of him in this vid-- it's really a montage of Dave doing the thing, and does he ever: 8:00; 8:57; 9:41; 10:45; 13:04; 13:43; 14:29; 14:43; 16:17; 17:15; 18:14; 21:25; 22:07; 22:49. Fletch joins in at 11:46 and 19:32.

Here's a short vid from 2009. We see Martin do the thing at 0:10. This segment was painful to watch. I get the impression the host is fishing for something lurid from Martin, and Martin's not having it. Maybe there's some culture clash at play, like there might be regarding the next example.

That example being one from 30 March, 2013. Hoo boy, do I have some words for this. Even aside from the culture clash debate about the questions themselves (which are primarily directed toward Dave), no part of this interview landed with me. In particular, the swipe at Martin at the beginning really rubs me the wrong way. Dave comes off unbothered on the whole, but Martin seems so uncomfortable the entire time. Anyway, I noticed the thing at 5:27, though it's somewhat obscured by the angle here.

Here's another French TV one from 2017. The camera cuts to him with his tongue out at 3:57, and he does it again at 7:48.

To sidestep for a moment, I noticed something in an interview from 10 October, 2022. Strictly speaking, what I observed at 11:36 is that he seems to go for it and then stop himself. Honestly, that in itself is also rather interesting, but I'm not quite sure how to articulate that interest. Maybe that it seems to clash with the rest of what I've compiled? I do wonder if in this instance, I'm seeing something which isn't actually there. On the other hand, watching a few current vids, it seems that he tends more to do more subtle things that are harder to describe and leave me uncertain as to whether I should list them. Considering what originally drove me to make this list, though, I chose not to. I've still noticed his gaze darting around plenty, though.

Lastly, here's the first part of an Apple Music interview from (I think) March 2023. You can see Martin stick his tongue out at 10:49, and at 5:36 he also does something with a similar vibe but more subtle. I think that first timestamp of him doing it even now in this very year really shows how ingrained and not quite conscious it is, as well as it being a lifelong habit.

I'm certain I could go on finding more and more footage of these behaviors, but I think I've made the major points well enough for these informal purposes. Now, as for why this is A Problem for me in particular. Watching him do this, observing it so closely and cataloguing it in this way, has made me realize all of the similar (and in some cases the same) things I and I'm pretty sure one of my parents do. There was a particular moment a couple weeks or so back when I suddenly caught myself licking my lips sort of like these moments, and now I'm super aware of it and can't stop. I don't even know whether it's something I've always done and never really realized before or if it's new or what-- I certainly don't want to think I'm that impressionable... I've noticed I do it most often when I'm about to start chewing on my lower lip. Because that's a big thing of mine: chewing on my lips and cheeks and tongue. And I do it (and have done it for many, many years) nearly constantly. I think I actually replaced chewing on necklace chains and shirt collars with this at some point in my youth. Considering Martin's tics/stims has really brought to my attention the sheer number of little tics and habits I have and have had throughout my life. I don't know what any of that says about me-- it's not something I get to know, and that troubles me when I think about it. So like. This topic fascinates me, but it also stresses me out.

But ah, that's enough getting personal for now. I don't have anything more to say at the moment, so I'll call it done. Props to anyone who bothered to read all of this. It's definitely my tumblr magnum opus in terms of both depth and sheer insanity of chosen subject matter.

I got so stressed making this post. Please validate me.

[sleepyrays]

how was the glowstick?

the thin plastic casing made a great stim toy . the crunch under the force of a bite was immaculate. the give of the tubes when bitten was 10/10

tasted like bitter medicine in a way that's bad but you keep going in for more anyway.

odd sweet notes. doesn't mean it makes it good. the back of your tongue and mouth will feel irradiated and weird.

coated the mouth oddly

great snack great stim toy for 3 year old baby just make sure you throw it away discreetly and wash your face so nobody knows what you did.

for added 3 year old effect simulator walk around the house as silently as possible with the glowstick in your mouth being chewed checking on everyone as they sleep and don't get caught.

overall life experience based on humor, recall, conversation starting, and storytelling: 10/10

[mirandamckenni1]

The Importance of Stimming in Late Diagnosed Autistic Adults The art of stimming is important for autistic people, especially late-diagnosed autistic adults who may have trained themselves out of it. In this video we will cover: what is stimming, why do we stim, why is stimming important, and how do I re-learn the art of stimming. I’ll also share my new FAVORITE stim toy that helps me fidget discreetly during meetings and social gatherings. Scroll down for timestamps to jump to a specific section of the video. 🪀 🙀 STIM TOY: The Ono Roller (affiliate link) http://bit.ly/3xLZnQY USE CODE: MOMONTHESPECTRUM at checkout for 10% off your order 👕 Autistic AF T-shirt: https://ift.tt/SOD4BqV 🌟 ⏩ Connect with others like you in an Autistic Connection Group: https://ift.tt/6Oj5Mit 🙀🌟 RESOURCES 🌟🕺 👉 🚨 Download my FREE Ultimate Guide to Understanding Autism: https://ift.tt/7siDrV8 💻 🎭 ONLINE COURSE How to Unmask https://ift.tt/pUlBwSX 📒 Meltdown Survival Guide: https://ift.tt/ahGEtYP 🗂 FREE Big Autistic Resource Guide (BARG): https://ift.tt/PU875mW 🖥 Mom on the Spectrum website: https://ift.tt/pv8cjmC Autistic Inertia video: https://youtu.be/UmRVTHiJ4-8 More Mom on the Spectrum Videos: https://www.youtube.com/momonthespectrum Article: Stimming, Therapeutic for Autistic People, Deserves Acceptance: https://ift.tt/Tj8V5tl Article: Flap Like a Butterfly, Stim Like a Bee: https://ift.tt/UgKT3px 💃⭐️ FIND ME ON SOCIAL MEDIA 🤠🎶 Instagram: https://ift.tt/PbqOAds Tiktok: https://ift.tt/JfHZMLR TIMESTAMPS Click on any of the blue timestamps to jump to that section of the video. What is stimming? (0:59) Why do we stim? (1:49) Why is stimming important? (4:14) Did I forget how to stim? (5:55) Why do we stop stimming? (6:30) Covert stims (7:01) What happens when we suppress our stims? (8:32) Self awareness leads to change (10:07) Imposter syndrome when re-learning stims (11:01) ABA Therapy and “Quiet Hands” (12:45) My favorite stim toy! (14:06) 📬 BUSINESS ADDRESS: Taylor Heaton 8901 Tehama Ridge Parkway, Suite 127 PMB 680 Fort Worth, TX 76177 📧 Business inquiries: info@momonthespectrum.life 👏🏻 FREE 👏🏻 WAYS TO SHOW YOUR SUPPORT 🦾 🟥 SUBSCRIBE to the channel 🟧 LIKE the videos that are helpful to you 🟨 COMMENT in the comment section 🟩 Click the “bell” to be notified when I release new videos 🙏 Thank you immensely to those of you who have already donated, been active on the channel, and/or purchased the Meltdown Survival Guide. DISCLAIMER: Taylor Heaton is not a licensed psychologist or specialist healthcare professional. Her services do not replace the care of psychologists or other healthcare professionals. Please note that Taylor can’t take any responsibility for the results of your actions, nor any harm or damage you suffer as a result of the use, or non-use of the information available through her website, YouTube Channel, or social media accounts. Please use judgment and conduct due diligence before taking any action or implementing any plan or practice suggested or recommended by Taylor Heaton or Mom on the Spectrum. Please note that Taylor doesn't make any guarantees about the results of the information you may apply from her website, YouTube channel, and/or social media accounts. Taylor shares educational and informational resources that are intended to help you succeed in navigating life as an autistic adult. You nevertheless need to know that your outcome will be the result of your own efforts, your particular situation, and innumerable other circumstances beyond Taylor's knowledge and control. Taylor is an Amazon affiliate and may receive commissions on qualifying purchases from affiliate links. Taylor is a Flare affiliate and may receive commissions on qualifying purchases from Flare links. 🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿 You are a beautiful person worthy of love! #actuallyautistic #momonthespectrum #autisticadult via YouTube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-gWd0JnnsrE

[vaguelyapeanutbutterandjelly]

Tism, but military propaganda

Task force 141 x Autistic!Gn!Reader Warnings: None really A/N: I feel like theres a good chunk of the cod fandom is people who saw the mw2 remake and heard "A new hand touches the beacon". But with a special interest y'know, anyways shout out the the autistic propaganda enjoyers, I love y'all. John Price

Once you tell Price, he had to do a lot of research. He knew autism existed and you would have sensory needs because of it, but that was about it.

He goes through his entire house to make sure you'd be comfortable in it (When he learned how certain fabrics make you feel he found any he had in his house and chucked them in the bin.)

Horrible at remembering information and lore about your special interest(s), that doesn't mean he doesn't try though.

Every time you start talking about it Price stops what he's doing if he can and listens to you and asks questions even if it's a very niche topic.

Sometimes when he has a stack of paperwork to do he'll ask you to talk to him about it because he knows it makes you happy and he loves your voice.

When he can, Price will stock up on all of your safe foods so even while he's deployed you'll have a little stash to eat. When his missions last months on end don't be surprised if you find "random" packages of your safe foods and snacks at your doorstep.

If or when you both move in together, you have free rein to make the house perfect for your needs.

Posters, figures or stuffies you want to put around the house because they make you happy? Weird little thing you picked up on a whim that looks a little questionable? Copious amounts of little trinkets?

Put them anywhere you'd like.

Tell him offhandedly one day about how much you despise the overhead lights in rooms Price is already asking your opinions on different small lamps.

Doesn't completely understand what stimming is but he's supportive. He buys you any fidget toys, chew-able things or anything of the like if you want them.

He'll be a little concerned if you vocal stim a lot but tell him it's a normal thing and he'll just say "Oh, alright"

The second you start getting overstimulated or just done with being in public, Price already has his keys out. If your not happy he's not happy, if he can you'll find yourself out of that situation and going home in record timing. Simon 'Ghost' Riley

Lets be honest, Ghost is too.

When you tell him he gives you a thumbs up and asks what some of your sensory needs are.

His special interest is anything knives, so if yours is anything related to knives you're in luck. One of the only times he'll be extremely talkative is if you ask him about them.

For the most part though, Ghost prefers to listen to you talk about what you like. He likes listening to your voice, it calms him down.

If you see some merch of something you really love, or a stuffed animal of your favorite animal he'll not-so-discreetly use his military money to good use.

Not only is Ghost extremely good at listening to you talk about your special interest(s), but he has a weirdly good memory when it comes to it as well.

He could forget what he had for breakfast but he could repeat that fun fact you told him a week ago word for word.

Not great at cooking, actually pretty bad at it, but if he can find a recipe on a dish that you love he'll make sure that it's cooked perfectly to how you like it. Just for you.

Ghost understands how hard it can be to de-mask, both literally and mentally, and he still struggles sometimes on what is him and what is his mask. So if you start trying to learn to de-mask more he'll be extremely supportive.

If you ever go non-verbal around him, Ghost would not care at all (In a good way)

Most likely already knows BSL if you want to sign with him, otherwise he doesn't mind trying to find a way to communicate.

Chances are if you start getting over stimulated or uncomfortable somewhere, he doesn't want to be there either so he'll be happy to just up and leave. If you're too nervous to excuse yourself, he'll bluntly tell whoever is there that you're both leaving and do just that.

Ghost doesn't stim a lot but he loves when you do. He sees it as you feeling safe and comfortable enough around him that you're open with your expression.

When he goes on deployment, he always leaves some little trinket he knows you'll love on the kitchen counter for you to find

Usually it's a new fidget, something related to your special interest, or something skull related

He always feels so happy when he sees or hears you stimming around him in any way, it just reminds him how he loves you. Kyle 'Gaz' Garrick

The king of making sure all your needs are met

Also, amazing communication skills, he always makes sure to check in with you to see how you're doing throughout the day

If you let him, he'll host little 'slumber parties' where he'll gather a bunch of snacks, blankets and let you pick a show/movie for you both to watch.

Bonus points if it's something you've seen a million times before, he loves when you know little tid-bits about your favorite movies

Loves listening to you talk about any special interest you may have

He's a curious lad so expect him to ask a lot of questions about everything

Off topic, Gaz makes really good french toast.

Gaz is really good at memorizing the brands you like, he absolutely refuses to buy you a different brand without consulting you first.

"Angel, they're out of the normal one, should I get something else or forget it?"

Researches your special interest(s), especially if it's really niche or taboo, so he can keep up with you

If he sees anything with your special interest on it he'll buy it without a thought if you don't stop him

He finds any of your stimming adorable

If you own any chelwery/things to chew on he'd get interested and buy one for himself

Absentmindedly gnaws on it when he's doing something mundane, not a big fan of how much it makes him salivate though

If you get overstimulated when you're both out and about Gaz would find a quiet and secluded area for you both to take a break at.

If you tell him you just want to head home he won't judge you, he'd do anything to make sure you're happy and comfortable John 'Soap' Mactavish

*Cough* diagnosed ADHD *cough*

Will spend 30 minutes looking at two different brands of one of your safe food trying to remember which is the 'good' one

He ended up having to call you after he started convincing himself you didn't even like the food

Heard you joking about liking sharks once and now he buys everything shark themed he saw

100% will talk to people if you don't want to/feel uncomfortable talking

Will also punch someone if they make fun of your autistic traits within 50 miles of him

He'll trade facts about your special interests for facts about different explosives

Soap would try to teach you how to make a bomb

Soap would deny ever trying to teach you how to make a bomb

Soap would high five you if you ever "somehow" learned how to make a bomb and then blew something up with it

If you don't like overhead lights because they're icky he'll replace all of the normal lights in the house with disco bulbs

Can't fold like a wet tissue to bright lights if you're too busy boogieing

Usually hates doing dishes by hand because of, ironically, the soap

But if it comes down to it and you cringe at the mere thought of touching wet food, he'd happily wash dishes in your honor

He knows that he can be pretty loud so when he's around you he'll make a conscious effort to be a little quieter

Painfully oblivious most of the time so if you start to get overstimulated and need to leave someplace, you’ll probably have to point blank tell him

Once you do though you're both out of there

Soap does everything short of picking you up and sprinting to the exit

--------------- Hope this was good, please don't steal this and reposts are appreciated. Thanks for readin'

[agedre]

Hello! I want to get fun gear for my dreaming but 1. My parents will judge me and 2. I can’t find anything I like at Dollar Tree. Any tips for what to do about either of those? 🚀🧸⭐️🌈🖍️

hello! i hope you don’t mind my answering this publicly, i figure other people could potentially add some other tips!!

🌙 try getting something more discreet! plushies are typically a good option since they can be for everyone of all ages! there are also things like adult coloring books and stim toys! also, try using little themed items like colored socks, baby lotion, and

🌙 look at online shops! amazon typically has cheap stuff if you can get it or have prime! if not, there are other shops like etsy and such that sell cute stuffed animals, clothes, books and etc for cheap!

🌙 if you can’t find anything online or are unable to make online purchases, rather than dollar tree you could go to stores like five below or cheaper places in the mall if you have one near you! you should be able to find cheap and discreet childlike items to help with your dreaming, like cute journals and stationary, books, plushies, games and stim toys, and such.

🌙 if you manage to find things like pacifiers and obvious child items that you like and are able to buy, i’d suggest keeping only one or two of them and hiding them in things like your pillowcase or a shoebox! that way you can use them discreetly without anyone finding them or questioning you.

i hope any of these help!! i’m honestly not sure what else i could suggest but if anyone else has any ideas to help this kiddo that would be amazing!!! i’m sorry you’re not able to dream freely and in peace, but one day you will, i promise!!! i’m wishing you the best of luck!!

[vancilocs]

can i get a carmina and bailey?

i had dinner

1. How does your OC feel about their full name?

She doesn't mind it, she'd rather people other than close ones call her ms. Murillo or Carmina instead of Mina

Doesn't mind it, the nicknames derived from it are kinda funny

2. What do strangers notice about them first?

She's tall and very thin, also has big black eyes with dark shadows underneath

Pink hair, piercings and tattoos mainly, height also

3. How does their social personality differ from how they act when they’re alone?

She stims a lot more when alone, dances and sings with her cats, generally much more lively when alone. Around people she can seem very morose

Quieter when alone, then he'll just be on his phone and relaxing. He's not still super talkative but he's more attentive with people around

4. How do they act around a crush?

Fiddles with her hands and things like pens and paperclips, she's learned how to hold eye contact better but when crushing she really can't

Nervous smiles, glancing at them but not really holding eye contact, really interested in their day and thoughts and feelings atm

5. Do they have a “tell” for when they’re lying?

She doesn't really lie because she's so bad at it, if anything she just freezes completely instead of coming up with a lie

Avoids eye contact, stutters, tries too hard to be chill

6. What do they smell like?

Very mild scent of deodorant and laundry sauce, sometimes a faint whiff of chemicals she uses at work but barely noticeable since she's very particular of good work hygiene

Deodorant and hair product, laundry sauce

7. What is their hair texture like?

Straight hair, pretty soft, fluffens up easily

He's got 3B hair he takes very good care of, soft n bouncy

8. How much jewelry do they wear, and do they have a favorite or distinguishing piece?

She has some bracelets that are good to stim with and some necklaces she used to chew on, but she doesn't really wear them as much as keeps a bracelet Elvira gave her in her pocket to stim discreetly.

He has a lot of piercings, sometimes wears necklaces and large earrings. His favorite piece is his wedding ring though

9. Do they have a word or phrase that they tend to overuse?

Not a word but she clears her throat often as a stim.

Tends to drop a "like" in half his sentences.

10. What is a weird quality that they have (ie their hands are always cold, they’re always hungry, they snort when they laugh, etc)?

She's very quiet when she walks, especially if she has just socks on, scares people easily

Other than going quiet when he's nervous, nothing really

11. What color do they look strikingly good in?

Maroon or silver

Orange

12. How do they show affection to someone they love?

She shares trivia about her interests and learns about the other's interests to share trivia about their interests, gives small gifts like handpainted cards, some hugs and kisses and cuddles

Cuddles, asking how the other's doing, little acts of service like bringing food. Making and sharing food also

13. Do they make strong/frequent eye contact when they talk to someone?

She's learned to do so in professional situations but casually barely ever

Not strong and continuous but glances frequently

14. What attributes do they have that are inherited from their parents or shared with their siblings/other relatives?

She's very different from her parents, but deafness runs on her mom's side of the family and neurodiversity on her father's. Also fairly different from her siblings, even Elvira who's chatty and outgoing.

He's very similar to his mom, gentle and quiet and dealing with anxiety. Very similar sense of humor to Heather also

15. Are their greatest flaw and their greatest strength related and in what way? (ie very caring and helpful but a doormat, or very observant and shrewd but often paranoid)

Works the best alone, has a hard time asking for help from anyone in any case. Truly the "pleasure to have in class" who then has struggled from not being able to stand up for herself ever since

Very caring and kind and patient, also kind of the person who can't really stand up for himself. Loves a lot and will not forgive easily if that love is broken

16. How has their childhood affected the way they view an aspect of their life (people, education, society, themselves, etc)?

She was homeschooled ever since the bullying got so bad she didn't want to go to school, so she doesn't like children or teenagers. Also being questioned for her career choice has made it so she doesn't open up easily. She's made good work healing from her self-esteem issues and being true to herself but she still tends to repress herself a lot when around other people.

Thankfully he hasn't had many heartbreaks because after what his dad did it's lucky he believes in love. But on the other hand, being so close to his mom makes him appreciate family and makes him a great dad as well bc he had a great role model.

[bnha-butterfly]

Hiya dearie. Can you do Tsukishima with an autistic s/o and both Tsukishima and his s/o try to stay away from the VBC when they don't have earplugs, but sadly one of the louder teammates don't realize this and pulls them into the gym without needed earplugs

The best way to describe the Karasuno Boys Volleyball Club was rowdy, with loud and rambunctious being close seconds

That being said Tsukishima made sure to take into consideration your sensory limitations when you first asked to watch one of his practices

He got you those molded earplugs that sit comfortably in your ears and always left you with his headphones just in case.

If you were gonna be there supporting him then he wanted to make sure you were as comfortable as possible (as he should)

Usually you’d just wait for him in the gym as he finishes changing in the club room. But you put your earplugs in his bag earlier during class for some reason 

So there you are waiting a few feet away from the gym sending him a text to bring you your earplugs with him when he’s done changing. 

Your playing some random game on your phone when here comes Kageyama and Hinata running to the gym arguing about something or another. 

You give them a wave and just go back to your phone, or that’s what you were hoping for but here comes Hinata questioning you.

He’s asking why your waiting out side the gym cus like I said usually you’re already in the gym helping Kiyoko and Yatchi with the little things.

You tell him you’re about to tell him you’re waiting for tsukishima but he’s already leading you into the gym

It’s not that bad. It’s only the managers, Hinata and Kageyama and it can’t be long before Tsukishima comes so you should be fine.

But Tsuki is taking a little bit longer than normal and now Noya and Tanaka have joined the two problem first years

The loud talking alongside the squeaking of their sneakers squeaking on the gym floor (which you’ve become hyper aware of) is starting to make you feel anxious and out of place.

So there you are trying to stim as discreetly as possible to ease your anxiety and FINALLY Tsuki joins you in the gym.

He’s taken the time to learn you like the back of his hand and can read you better than you know yourself. So the look of anxiety on your face doesn’t pass him

He motions you to come outside and you are more than happily listen. A little extra speed in your step.

He steps of the gym with you and cups your face too center your attention on him

“You should have just waited for me out here. I don’t need those idiots making you all overstimulated.” He says in a somewhat scolding tone. But you know he’s just looking out for you.

Once you’re calm and ready to go back in he hands you the case he keeps your earplugs in that he’s stuck cartoon dinosaur stickers too. He also puts his headphones around your neck just in case you need it.

Once he’s put his own earplugs in he presses a soft kiss to your forehead and then leads you back into the gym.

[autisticzukka]

I 200% hc autistic zuko and want to emphasize his autism in my fics. Do you have any ideas about what a happy zuko looks like? What are his stims? How does he express himself when no one is telling him that what he’s doing is weird/wrong? I love the idea that he eventually feels safe enough to be more himself. Love your blog!

lmao okay so I have rewritten this a BILLION times! here goes take 1 billion and 1. tw for talk of pain as a stim in a way that might be distressing to those struggling with self harm urges, and the general abused child stuff that Zuko gets (with a focus on ableism).

How does he express himself when no one is telling him that what he’s doing is weird/wrong?

Okay so, bummer incoming, but I doubt that Zuko was encouraged to or allowed to stim while growing up. Stimming is basically identical to fidgeting, and everyone who’s ever been fidgety knows how weird and controlling adults get about it.

Zuko grew up surrounded by the Most concerned with proper etiquette adults, as royalty, all while constantly falling short of the expectations placed on him. So at this point, it’s not really a question of how does Zuko express himself when no one is telling what he’s doing is weird/wrong-- he doesn’t need people to tell him that anymore. He tells himself.

So I think that Zuko did what a lot of people do, and found socially acceptable stims, largely invisible ones. When I had very long hair, I’d play with it discreetly. When I wore long sleeves I would hide my hands and play with strings on them and such. When I needed to stim so much I thought I was going to explode, I’d bite the inside of my mouth or dig my nails in.

Happy stimming is so much harder for me to control than other types of stimming, and it feels much worse when interrupted and punished. So I’d use extremely quiet and invisible stimming for it. I have pretty full lips, so it’s hard to notice when I bite the inside of my inner lip. At this point, biting my mouth is actually my first go to happy stim!!

The reason this is so relevant is because the happy Zuko smile that feels most genuine to me in the entire show, rather than performing happiness, is when Aang compliments him in the Firebending Masters. it’s mostly an animation quirk and i’m reading heavily into it, but here, read with me:

he got a lil pout. lip sticking Out

frame just before, you can see it even more so

frame where his smile starts! his lips have thinned out quite a lot

and he’s so happy by a rare and genuine compliment, he turns his face away to hide it, and his smile is very thin and subdued, like he’s pressing/biting his lips together.

then the insult registers and we get these really great “i dont know what i expected” faces lmao

SO.

It kind of all goes back to this then:

I love the idea that he eventually feels safe enough to be more himself.

The only way for Zuko to feel safe enough to be more himself in front of people is to start stimming in front of them, and meeting acceptance. And I don’t mean just the absence of punishment or backlash or criticism: it has to be honest, proactive acceptance. Because Zuko will fill up the criticism void himself, and decide what others were thinking if they don’t tell them. I mean, fuck! He still will, at first! “I can’t believe my friends are lying to me, I know how I look, I look stupid, why do they have to be such goody two shoes, I’m humiliated, I’m never doing that again.”

But... happy stimming is so fuckin cute when you’re not super ableist. Like yeah, I actively suppress it in myself and sometimes leave a room to stim or just try and force it down for later but-- happy stimming is ADORABLE. Seeing someone so happy that they can’t contain it? Even when they’re clearly actively working to do so? It’s such a good feeling. It’s intoxicating and exciting and it’s nice. It’s nice to see other people be very very happy.

So first comes the acceptance from others, and Zuko working through a lot of his own internalized shit. If he can accept that getting half his face burned off was cruel and undeserved, then eventually he’ll start questioning how much of his treatment was undeserved. What’s actually normal versus what he just thought was normal, etc.

I do really think that Zuko would try and leave and stim somewhere else if he got too overwhelmed, and that post canon, now that not everything is life or death crisis with one impossible goal in the distance to strive for, that would be... a lot more often. And I think that Sokka would see him happy stim once when he thought he was in private and have a tiny heart attack over how fucking cute it is, and make it his life mission to inspire it as much as possible. I think he’d also try to demonstrate that like... it was okay?

Less so in the way Katara or Aang would, through aggressive verbal acceptance, and more through letting himself stim more. Like, Sokka has big ‘swoops people into quick dances when he’s very happy’ energy. The rest of the gaang tend to take a lot of their lead from him, so I think they’d pick up on it. And when the Avatar is publicly stimming all the time... it’s probably not such a big deal if the Fire Lord is. Or if kids are.

Shortened list of stims:

+ Bites lip and generally fucks around with his tongue & teeth in his mouth to avoid visible stims + Fidgets with clothing and other pieces of fabrics, particularly loose threads. He’s pretty destructive about it. + Hopping up and down + Climbing things + Throwing himself off of things, especially like rolling off a bed, especially especially if he can manage to burrito himself for a pressure stim as he does. + Going in.. not small spaces, exactly, but shadowed overhangs where he can be out of the way and small but still quickly get out and observe most of the room. Under tables, on top of roofs, etc. think cats. + physical stretches, as a stim disguise. rolling his shoulders out, loosening his neck, shaking out his wrists, bouncing up and down on his feet, etc. he doesn’t do them quite right and they’re more rhythmic than they should be, which gives away that they’re a stim rather than a proper stretch. + fidgeting with very small scraps of things between his fingertips, or small stones, shells, etc. yes zuko thought that shell was pretty. YES zuko thought that shell was pretty neat to rub his fingers on and then panicked trying to look cool in front of mai and gave it to her instead. Uncle said women liked pretty things and that shells are pretty! It all works out!

[jessiebanethedragon]

Jealousy 3/?

Wolffe x reader / Crosshair x reader

Patching them up in the small medical tent was awkward. What was more awkward was that in the time it took the crew to set up said tent, they’d brawled twice more, until you’d threatened to use binders on the both of them if they didn't settle down. Crosshair had broken Wolffe's nose and you were pretty sure Wolffe had bruised Cross’s ribs. Both of them were worse for wear. 

“Sorry, sorry!” you apologized profusely as you reset the commanders nose, cradling his head in your hands as he grunted in pain. Rubbing small circles by his temples, in hopes it would help somehow. 

“Am I still handsome?” Wolffe asked, holding himself up with his hands on the table behind his back. And flashing you a smile that  had definitely  caused trouble in the past. Subconsciously  you trailed your hands down to his jaw. Pretending you were still looking at his nose. But really just staring into his eyes. 

“Bold of you to assume you were handsome to start off with, commander.” You told him, trying so hard not to lick your lips while you eyed his. He hummed at you, whether it was from the sass or the hold on his face that he was now leaning into, you couldn't be sure. 

“Darling you wound me.” he mumbled up at you, giving you his best puppy eyes. You Stepped away from him quickly righting yourself and remembering the fact that you had another patient sitting a few paces away from you. 

“Actually I fix the wounds wolffe. Remember that the next time you decide to attack one of your vod.” Crosshair chuckled, followed by a wince. Gently you lay him down on a cot and start to cut away his shirt. They both watch your concentration as you run your gloved hands across his chest, emotionless, your face still looks stunning. And for once the two of them aren't arguing with the other. 

“I think they’re just bruised, a couple of bacta strips and you’ll be good as new.” You tell him firmly. Turning to your case and pulling the precious bacta. 

“So you’re not gunna kiss it better?” Cross teases, and you raise an eyebrow. 

“Too much bruising to kiss better.” You tell him applying the first strip. 

“Kiss it more than once then.” He insisted, smirking at you while you applied the last strips and run your hands over all them again, checking for lumps or air bubbles. and you’re definitely not doing  it because you like the way his muscles feel under your hands. Crosshair goes to sit up, but you gently push him back.   

“While I Have you both here, I want to mention something.” You say softly trying not to sound as angry as you are. You make the excuse of fiddling with your supplies so you don't have to look them in the eye. 

“Get into another brawl over something stupid again, you can patch yourselves up.” you tell them sternly, pausing to let things sink in. “get into a fight about anything to do with me.” You snap, anger coming through your calm face. “And I won't even supply you with the items to patch yourselves up. I’m not wasting bacta or stim shots on either of you because you're both so hot-headed you can’t keep it together. Got it?” You get a mumbled ‘yes’ from each of them and an even more mumbled apology. You turn to leave the medical tent without another world.

You find Sinker and Tech playing the game you taught them on the ship, and Wrecker and Warthog are already drinking something you guess isn't water.  You join them around the fire they have set up in the little clearing you’re calling home for the night. 

“Those di'kut’s okay?” Hunter asks sitting next to you on the ground, where you're planted yourself. He hands you a drink of some sort. And not caring what it is you accept.  

“Yeah they’ll be fine.” You sigh. “I just really need them to pull it together.” 

“They will.” Hunter says with a confidence that erases your anxiety. 

“Meds!” Sinker calls dragging his chair closer to you and prompting Tech to follow him. Soon Warthog and wrecker follow suit. And Boost emerges from the woods holding on to an old piece from some kind of speeder. You asume with all this trash around here hopefully he’d stay out of trouble. 

“Tell us an academy story!” Sinker says with a big smile, and you know now that he’s mentioned it the boys will never let it go. You sigh with a smile. 

“Okay, okay.” Boost and Sinker whoop in happiness. Hunter looks at you suspiciously. 

“I thought you were a perfect student.” He says squinting at you. 

“I was!” You defend yourself, “there were just a couple of incidents that were less than according to regulation.” and you launch into a story about the time in med school when you had to stitch yourself up because the scalpel had slipped and cut  your hand. But you didn't want the instructor to notice and stop your examination so you just sewed it up discreetly and kept going. Leaking Small amounts of blood onto the floor and only being able to use one hand for the entire racial exam. Which thankfully, was performed on a dummy. Getting so lost in your story you don't notice the two clones (who look nothing alike) standing outside of the medical tent staring longingly at you. 

“Crosshair.” Wolffe grits out.

“Wolffe.” Crosshair responds, looking at him. 

“Whatever happens, between either of us, or the battle, she stays outta it.” It’s  a statement Wolffe gives, not a question. 

“We keep her safe. All costs.” Crosshair affirms. 

“All costs.” Wolffe sticks his hand out, knuckles still bloody from  the right earlier. And Hunter turns around just in time to see Crosshair shake it.

taglist: @persaloodles @peacefulwizardfox @haloangel391 @mangoberry43​ @the-silentium​ 

[comfortmarvelimagines]

when you can’t find the quiet part 6

im baaaaackkkkkk !!!! so so so sorry that this took so long. i can’t put into words the sheer amount of shit that’s happened to me in the past few months. hope this at least partially makes up for it (i know it can’t fully, and im sorry)]

tw for near meltdown, self injurious stimming and use of the r slur

Can you please do an autistic!reader where the decathlon team has an excursion to the tower and the avengers say hi to the reader and peter and co.? then flash gets jealous and does something mean,,, some angst resolved with fluff (preferably by mama nat), if not that’s okay

Most kids loved field trips. Even the boring ones. 

Regardless of where it was, a field trip was a break to the mundanity of school. There was increased opportunity for socialising, decreased work demands (no notes to be taken!), and most likely improved lunch options to what the cafeteria typically had to offer. Add on to that the fact that Stark Industries was arguably The Coolest Place on the Planet to the nerds of Midtown and you have a perfect storm of excitement. It seemed that the field trip was all everyone was talking about. Even Peter wouldn’t shut up about how cool it was, despite the fact that he practically lived at the tower. 

You came to the conclusion that you were the only kid in the decathlon team that absolutely did not want to go. 

Field trips were a change in routine. You didn’t know the exact schedule of when things were happening, or what exactly was going to happen. For all your google street-viewing, there was only so much you could find out about what the place would look like, what was inside, whereabouts your group would be visiting. You didn’t know what the buses there would be like, who you’d sit with, what teachers would be on your bus, how many kids would be in each tour group, what time you’d stop to eat lunch, whether the buses would leave on time when it was over. There were so many unpredictabilities, and no one ever seemed to be able to answer your questions. 

Logically, you figured that Stark Industries should be alright, as far as field trips go. You’ve been there before, you know Tony and Nat and Bucky; in theory, you should be okay. You’re okay when you go there after school, and on weekends with Peter. But going there at a different time, to a different part of the building and with more people (including Flash) made you just as anxious as you would be for any other excursion. Which is why you tried everything to get out of it. Started acting ‘sick’ days beforehand, isolating yourself, not talking to anyone, hoping that your absence would be considered a normality by the time the day of the trip rolled around. Only it didn’t work, and you opened the door to an overly bubbly trio of friends bright and early on Wednesday morning. 

“Hey Y/n, you excited for the trip?” Ned, unsurprisingly, was bouncing with excitement, topped off with a garishly conspicuous Stark Industries cap. Every inch the tourist. 

Every inch the opposite of how you were feeling. 

You stood in the doorway at a complete loss. You’d fully intended to stay cooped up in your room all day in your pyjamas, watching random shit on Youtube. The message to the group chat saying that you ‘weren’t feeling well’ was already half composed and ready to send. You’d played the part perfectly, casually mentioning symptoms of illness for days in preparation. But, somehow, you’d made friends with some of the most observant and persistent people you’d ever met. Which for the most part was great, but now it had you wishing the ground would open and swallow you whole. 

You didn’t resist much as MJ marched her way over the threshold and started pulling an outfit out of your wardrobe, ushering you into the bathroom to get changed. It wouldn’t have worked. All three of them seemed to know what you were planning on doing and were prepared. By the time you’d thrown on the clothes and haphazardly cleaned yourself up, Peter and Ned had sorted out your backpack with all of the things you used to help deal with the input of bustling New York; noise cancelling headphones, a fidget cube, a bumpy tangle, a squishy dinosaur toy. Seeing as no one would be carrying books or laptops on the excursion, you knew they’d all have smaller bags, but you had your normal sized one. The size and weight and familiarity was comforting. You hoisted it over your shoulders and trudged out the door, dread settled in the depths of your stomach, right hand tapping the side of your thigh. 

***

By the time you arrived at Midtown High and saw the charter bus pulling up outside, the tapping had increased to borderline punching. Ned went to grab your wrist to pull it away, but you turned. The ache in your thigh was the only thing keeping you from running, and you couldn’t explain why. Words weren’t working by that point. The bus ride didn’t improve much; even with headphones on, you could still feel the vibration of the engine running through your toes, resonating upwards, and even the highest noise cancelling setting wasn’t enough to drown out your excited teammates and their impatient chatter. Peter had made sure that the four of you got the bench seat at the back of the bus so that you could all sit together, but you were still mad that they’d made you go. Didn’t they get it? 

Things didn’t improve upon arrival. The staff member with you on the trip was a substitute, as Mr Harrington had other school commitments on the day, and you’d never met her before. A fact that became an issue when she made you take your headphones off when the tour guide turned up, and confiscated them when you were reluctant (despite your friends’ protestations and frantic attempts and explanation). The tour guide herself was nice enough- you’d seen her in the lobby a few times on your way in and out of the tower- but it wasn’t enough to balance out the chaos of the crowded public space. You made it no further than the elevator before pressing your hands over your ears. Hoodie over your head. Eyes half closed. It felt almost cruel that the sensory room, your safe space, was in the same building yet inaccessible. 

Unbeknownst to you, Nat was well aware of the fact that you and Peter were visiting. She’d waited for FRIDAY to announce your presence before heading to the floor she knew the tour would start on, planning to ‘casually’ greet you. She knew about the bullying. She knew about the harassment that Flash gave Peter over the legitimacy of the internship, the deplorable things he’d said to you. And she fully intended to scare the crap out of Flash in the hopes of getting him to leave her kids alone, god damn it. He was the first person she spotted from down the corridor. She knew he was a dick, but nothing could have prepared her for the sight of Flash live streaming. Phone outstretched, voice raised. 

God, the ego of this kid. 

Your group started moving forwards as she headed towards you. She didn’t say much. 

“Hey Pete, hey Y/n”

The look on Flash’s face was priceless. 

“Y-you know the retard and friends?”

Nat stared, waiting. 

“You mean Penis has a real internship?”

It felt like your guts were fighting to explode out of your body. You pressed your nails into the palms of your hands, in the crease beneath your knuckles. The bluntness of the nails did little to help. 

“That’s enough.” 

You willed your body to stay still, not stim not scream not run.

“Does this school’s policy tolerate that kind of language?”

“Uhh-”

“Yes or no?”

“I’m only a substitute, I’m not familiar with-”

You pressed the heels of your hands to your ears, fingers still curled. It wasn’t enough to make it quiet.

“Fine. Eugene?”

Don’t want to listen don’t want to listen. Don’t scream don’t stim stay still.

“Expect there to be consequences. I know about the bullying.” 

You turned and walked back down the hallway, retracing the way you came in. Your heels dug into the floor and you walked stiffly, awkwardly, elbows locked straight at your sides in attempt to keep yourself from reverting to punching your thighs. 

Nat followed. 

As she made her way past the group, she discreetly directed the tour guide to carry on. If you did reach the point of a meltdown, which she was hoping you wouldn’t for your sake, she didn’t want an audience. 

You were headed towards an R&D lab, full of SI employees, which wasn’t a particularly good option either. She noticed your hands bouncing, slapping your thighs, walking still stiff and jilted, the effort going suppressing everything evident down to the way you breathed. You heard footsteps behind you but didn’t realise they were Nat’s until she called out. 

“Y/n”

You skipped a step, but didn’t stop. You just wanted to be alone away from everyone away from the humiliation and the teasing and the bad words and the stupid jokes you just didn’t get but everyone else did. 

“Y/n, hun, just stop for me for a second.”

You did as you were told. Your body felt like it was on fire from the tension of being still. You didn’t want Nat thinking you were weird for biting your hand, so you gnawed on your lip instead, hands slightly flapping at your sides in little spinny motions. 

“Okay, good job. Do you think we can take a minute to do some breathing?”

You shook your head no. No. You wanted, needed to scream and stim and run not breathe.

“Okay, I should’ve phrased that better,” Nat looked around, seemingly lost, at the ceiling. It was barely a second’s slip of her calm composure. She lowered herself to the floor and sat cross legged.

“Can you sit down with me?”

You let your legs give out, half crashing into the carpet. 

“Can you give your hands a shake?” she shook her hands out in front, demonstrating. 

You copied. The shake felt good, so you started properly flapping. You weren’t sure when, but at some point all self consciousness fell away and you were rocking back and forth, legs out, tension melting. 

Eventually, most of the bad energy felt like it’d left your body, Your flaps turned to light taps on your knees and your rocking was much more relaxed. Now that your breathing had evened out, you were aware of how close you were to hyperventilating before. A wave of gratitude towards Nat washed over you. 

“Is it okay if I touch you?” Nat asked cautiously, hand already up halfway to rub your shoulder. You shook your head. It was hard to articulate, but touch right now would probably end in you hitting Nat involuntarily. Even your clothes weren’t feeling too great, like you were hyper aware of every contact point with your skin. You were glad she asked, even though your reaction most likely wouldn’t have hurt her no matter how violent on your part. The constant assumptions and invasions of your space on a daily basis, from everyone from kids at school to medical professionals, got to a point of making you feel almost less than human. That you weren’t worth the respect, triply so if you weren’t verbal. The entire field trip experience, although not all that enjoyable, had shown you a side of Nat you hadn’t seen before. A fiercely protective, quick-witted, almost motherly side. A side that let you know you had a safe landing. A side that gave you the courage to get up off the hallway floor and face the world again.