#or like i was showing her some halloween photos which included a friend of mine and my coworker was jokingly fanning herself complimenting

[kawaiianimeredhead]

.

[rolorules]

A Very Ashford Christmas

This story harkens back to an older fanfic and is more or less consistent with it. If you don’t know Duncan from the show, that is not a surprise because he is what you call an OC these days.

“So you’ve finally overcome your adversity to costumes, I see.” Duncan said with a tone of satisfaction.”

“I wouldn’t say that.” Rolo replied, “I’m wearing it to humour the president.”

“I see. Naturally, the party was her idea.”

“In a way, but her original plans were a little different.”

“Now I’m curious. Come on, spill the beans.”

“Alright, so shortly after my brother’s birthday, Miss Milly approached me, and the conversation went like this:”

Duncan grinned when Rolo imitated Milly’s exuberant and bossy manner.

“Oh ROLO, what a coincidence, I wanted to talk to you anyway.”

“Miss President, what can I do for you?” Rolo as Rolo of the past said in his normal voice.

“I am planning our annual Christmas celebration at Ashford.” Milly-Rolo said. “And this year I’d like to do a nativity play. Seeing that you have such a sweet and innocent look - “

“Oh please, no.” Rolo-Rolo thought out loud.

“I want you to play the reindeer!”

“The WHAT?”

“So I tried to explain to her that -” present-day Rolo went on, but his explanation was drowned by Duncan’s roaring laughter, which continued for at least five minutes.

“Religion is really in the crapper in this country.” Duncan said, wiping tears of laughter from his eyes.

“Amen, brother!” Rolo remarked drily, “but anyway -”

“The UNholy Britannian Empire!”

“I get it, Duncan, I get it. So ANYWAY, I explained to her that a nativity play is obviously not what she thinks it is and suggested an ordinary Christmas party instead. And she agreed.”

“Good call. But she still wanted you to play the reindeer, apparently.”

“Unfortunately yes.” Rolo nodded, his antlers shaking sadly.

“Cheer up, pal. The costume looks good on you.”

“Thanks. So does yours, just that in your case it isn’t a lie. You really look the part.”

And Rolo was right. The pointy tips glued to Duncan’s ears, the green tunic and the green pointy hat, in combination with his curly hair of dark ginger made him look as if he had come fresh from the North Pole.

“Gee, thanks. I normally use this for cosplay, but I just had to tie a tiny bell to the hat, et voilà, I’m a Christmas elf.”

“Well then, Mr. Elf, maybe you want to join our little performance?”

“There’s going to be a play anyway?” Duncan asked in surprise.

“Not exactly. Once Milly had got the reindeer thing straight, she wanted to sing the Rudolph song with us, in costume, of course, with a little dancing added for good measure.”

“Sounds amazing.” Duncan gave his trademark laugh, which was both perfectly sincere and good-natured. It had nothing of the haughtiness and cynicism that Lelouch’s laugh was often tainted with, amnesia or no. Rolo had found it annoying at first, but then he had started to slightly envy Duncan for it. “But I pass,” Duncan went on, “I suspect watching the show is more fun. Besides, as far as I can recall, there are no elves in ‘Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer’.”

“There are no angels in it either,” Rolo said with a hint of sarcasm, “but Rivalz is still going to play one. He already had his costume made when we changed plans, and now he insists on wearing it. And Miss Shirley also looks a bit like a female elf.”

“So who’s going to play Santa?”

“That would be the Prez. She is not wearing a beard or anything, but her outfit looks the most like Santa’s.”

“Figures.” Duncan nodded. “Does that mean you’re going to be Rudolph?”

“Oh no, thank goodness.” Rolo sighed in relief. “Miss Milly has 'chosen’ Big Brother for that. Rivalz has bought one of the red noses that clowns usually wear and has glued an LED to the inside. Big Brother is not happy about that, I reckon.”

“Seems like it!” Duncan said, pointing behind Rolo.

Rolo turned and saw Lelouch running towards them, dressed in a costume similar to his own.

“Hello Rolo’s Big Brother,” Duncan began, “I’m hap-”

Lelouch hurried past them, completely ignoring Duncan.

“Should we follow him?” the green-clad boy asked, watching Lelouch half-tumble down Ashford’s main stairway.

“No need to hurry.” Rolo replied. “Let’s give him a little head start.”

“Are you not worried that he might get away?”

“The one thing you have to know about my brother,” Rolo stated calmly, “is that he has no stamina at all.”

Lelouch was already halfway toward their apartment when he heard footsteps behind him. When he looked back, he saw an elf and a reindeer pursuing him.

“Traitor!” he muttered to himself, trying to increase his pace, but in vain. Within seconds the boys had caught up to him, grasped him and held him firmly. While they were trying to pull him back, Duncan said: “As I was trying to say: Hello, Rolo’s Big Brother! I’m pleased to finally meet you.”

“Who’s that, Rolo? A right busybody as I can see!” Lelouch grumbled.

That’s Duncan.” Rolo replied, “He’s a classmate -” He caught Duncan’s look. “He’s a friend of mine.”

“Nice to meet you,” Lelouch exclaimed, “I don’t like you already.”

“Don't be mean, Big Brother. Come on, let’s go back to the others. They depend on us and we cannot let them down.”

Willy-nilly, Lelouch allowed himself to be dragged back to the student council room by the two boys. When they arrived, Angel Rivalz greeted them by saying: “Just as I thought. We already started looking for you. Well done, you two.”

Shirley, who was wearing a pink Christmas outfit, said: “That’s so like you, Lulu. There’s no need to be embarrassed. It’s going to be fun. Come on, let’s rehearse one more time. Look, here’s some encouragement!”

There was a whiteboard in the room, on which Shirley had written “Ho ho ho, let’s go!”

“How original!” Rolo muttered under his breath. As the rehearsal was proceeding, he had a minor bout of stage fright, so he took a marking pen and changed the wording to “Please let me go!” and signed it “Rolo Lamperouge”.

“Don’t you dare!” a voice behind him yelled. As he looked around, an angry red-nosed reindeer was pointing a finger at him and said: “Back there you were preaching to me how we could not let everyone down. Now put your money where your mouth is!” Resistance was futile.

Before the show started, Shirley asked Duncan to take a photo of the cast, which he did. Rolo looked a bit lost and Lelouch refused to turn towards the camera, but he was satisfied with the result.

The performance was a huge success. Rolo was fortunate enough to have only one short solo part where he (as he was “all the reindeer”) had to tell his reindeer brother that he would “go down in history” (which was probably true). The students were cheering frenetically and gave them standing ovations. Rolo managed to sneak from the stage before anyone could ask for an encore.

Afterwards, the student council members handed out small gifts to the students and there was a huge get-together including Christmas karaoke, food and drink.

“Wasn’t that awesome?” Rivalz said to Rolo. “I can’t believe the red-nosed bastard wanted to bail on us!”

“Is that ‘non-alcoholic’ Christmas punch the same one we had on Halloween?”

“I think so.”

“Ah, that explains it.”

Finally, Rolo found Duncan.

“So did you like it?” Rolo asked.

“It was smashing.” Duncan grinned. “Staying at Ashford over Christmas was the best choice I’ve ever made. Correction: enrolling here was the best choice I’ve ever made. There’s always fun stuff going on around here. Don’t you think so, too?”

“Probably,” Rolo admitted. “Sometimes I’m surprised that there is any learning going on. But it’s certainly not boring.”

“All work and no play makes Rolo a dull boy.”

“I’m not dull,” Rolo retorted, “only focused.”

“Admit it,” Duncan grinned, “you also enjoyed the show.”

“Let’s say I didn’t hate it.”

The ginger elf beamed. “This school is doing you good, too. That’s obvious.”

“If you say so.”

“I do. So merry Christmas, Rolo. I hope your brother won’t be mad at you.”

“I don’t think so. He’s not one to hold a grudge, at least not against me.”

“Glad to hear it. Good night, then.”

“Night. Oh, and Duncan!?”

“Yes?”

“Merry Christmas!”

Later at night, two tired ex-reindeer were walking through the half-darkness towards their apartment.

“Big Brother?”

“Yes, Rolo?”

“Are you mad at me?”

“No, I’m not. Sorry for overreacting. I should be used to Milly’s whims by now.” Lelouch laughed. “That one time she wanted us to all dress as cats. Nobody knew what the point of that was.”

“Really? That’s weird. And a bit scary.”

“Agreed. Who knows what else she might come up with.”

“Are you mad at Duncan?”

“The elf? Not really. Actually, I’m pretty happy that you have someone you get along with in your class. You were a bit of an introvert when you came here, but you seem to have become much more open. I’m proud of how well you have managed to fit in, Little Brother.”

“Thank you, Big Brother.” Rolo said and was glad that the darkness  covered his blush.

Lying in bed, Rolo was pondering all this. He did not consider himself a shy person. In his field of expertise, he felt extremely confident. But Ashford Academy had posed a number of challengers to him. Being part of a family was the first one. Fitting in as a student was the second. Meeting people’s expectations towards the brother of Lelouch Lamperouge was the third. Being able to hide behind the facade of a shy persona certainly came in handy. Still, Rolo felt that he had managed to face all these challenges successfully.

He was also confident that he would be able to face the challenge of Lelouch regaining his memory. But for now, being a student was fine with him. He liked birthdays (a lot), he liked Halloween and Christmas (he wasn’t sure about Valentine’s Day, though). He did not mind playing Lelouch Lamperouge’s little brother for a little longer either; in fact, he hoped that Lelouch would not regain his memories till after graduation - from university.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #257

I hope y’all are behaving and staying inside. This’ll blow over, folks.

Have you ever met a guy for coffee? No. How often do you get called on your home phone? We don't have a landline. Do you feed your leftovers to your dogs? We don't have a dog anymore. When we had them, we very rarely did. Mom did so more than me, and I wouldn't give them anything if they were begging. Except chicken nuggets with Teddy. There was no denying him chicken nuggets. Do you like salt on your popcorn? Yes. What tricks does your pet do? Well one is a snake and my cat doesn't know any because since when do cats obey you lmao. Do you believe in psychics? No. When you hear the name “Ginger” what do you think of? Jason's old fatass dog. What is the worst damage that your car has seen? N/A Who is your least favourite character on your favourite television show? In Meerkat Manor, fuck that, I loved them all, lmao. Well, I remember I was bitter towards Rita/Amira for killing Rocket Dog's pups, but even then I knew that was meerkat nature to ensure the survival of their own offspring. That '70s Show, definitely no one. I adore all the characters. For Fullmetal Alchemist, honestly, there are SO many that I don't remember probably even half of them. BUT, from what I do remember, Nina's dad whose name evades me. You watch it and you know why alkdsjf;kaldjw. Have you gotten sick this year? No. When was the last time you got a new ringtone? Eons ago. Where do you put your keys when you get home? They're always in my purse. What’s your phone background picture? Lock screen is a cute as fuck picture of Mark, home screen is two meerkats. If you could move to any country, what would it be? Realistically, Canada. Have you ever seen a snake in the wild? Plenty of times. Do you have any posters, paintings or other artwork on your walls? A LOT. My walls are cramped; it makes it feel homey to me. Would you ever take a trip to space if given the chance? Nah, too long of a journey. How do you cope with anxiety? Watch YouTube more attentively, listen to music, nap, take one of my anxiety meds. Are you expecting any phone calls or emails? No. Who makes you laugh the most? In my "real life," my dad. Out of anyone that includes those I don't actually know, probably Shane Dawson. He's a Mood, constantly. Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you? Oh, plenty. I have like the most common white girl middle name out there. What did you have done the last time you saw a dentist? I had a cavity filled. What does a successful relationship look like to you? Both ends are happy, communication is ideal and easy for the pair, both feel loved and accepted fully, and each has healthy freedom. What do you like to put on your baked potato? The ordinary butter, cheese, and bacon bits. What field of science interests you the most? Genetics. What’s the closest shop or restaurant to your house? A Zaxby's and McDonald's are tied, being right across the street from each other. What was the most memorable birthday you’ve had? My 16th is the one I remember best, but not in a good way. What is the best house you’ve ever lived in? Our last house, aesthetically. Right in the woods and relatively pretty, yet simple. Do you look in the mirror before you leave the house? Yeah. Have you ever seen someone quit their job in a dramatic way? No. Do you know why your parents named you what they did? No. I think Mom just liked the name, though. What do you like to dip your fries in? Ketchup, mostly. Is your house clean or messy right now? It's actually really clean right now. We've had a lot of help around the house recently thanks to family and friends with Mom's cancer, and then I've been much neater and attentive to cleanliness than usual because 1.) it's my responsibility to ensure it is for Mom's health and 2.) I dropped out of school so literally have zero excuses to not be doing at least one productive thing. What was the last email you received? That wasn't trash, it was from my old major's dean in school. She was trying to comfort me and give me options on what to do versus leave, but yeah. I'll 100% give it to the school that they deeply and sincerely care for their students, I just needed to go. Do you know someone who speaks without a filter? lmao me. Well, depends, I guess, actually. I know when to keep my mouth shut in some situations. What’s your favourite kind of museum? Science museums. Especially those with d i n o z. Do you believe in alternate universes? I'm open to it, especially with the mandela effect theories, but I don't think so. Whose house did you last visit? My older sister's. What games do you play on your smart phone? Pokemon GO (if I'm in an area w/ Stops to get balls) and Dragons of Atlantis. What kinds of decorations do you put up at Halloween? We don't really decorate anymore for Halloween, or holidays in general. How many tabs do you have open right now? Two. What’s something you’ve been meaning to do but keep putting off? Try more sites to hopefully get a poem I wrote published, but that crippling fear of rejection tho. :^) What’s the first thing you check on your phone at the start of the day? The time. Have you ever flown a kite? Yeah, I loved that as a kid. I’m guessing you’ve probably been asked this before, but which do you prefer - Coca Cola, or Pepsi? Coke. Pepsi is gross. Has your phone ever gone off in the middle of a class at school? No. Did you go to your school dances? Did you dance with anyone? Just two proms. We didn't dance tho because the music was shit. What’s your relationship with the last person you talked to on the phone? What was your conversation about? Like, talk-talked, no texting? Uhhh who was that. OH YEAH, my sister. My mom didn't answer her phone so she just called me to make sure she was okay. The last time you washed your hair, did you use conditioner?
 No, I never do. It just adds oil to your hair, and mine is naturally oily enough. Do you have an item of clothing that reminds you of someone? Tell me about it, and the person it reminds you of. I have a lot, none positive. If the last girl you texted told you that she was pregnant, how would you respond? Ask her who the fuck I need to kill. How would you react if your mother told you that she was pregnant again? Well considering 1.) she's past menopause and 2.) she has serious ovarian and Fallopian cancer, I'd say that's pretty impossible. Who do you have the most text messages from? Sara. The last time you skipped school, what was the reason?
 Uhhh if you mean "skip" as in I had seriously no realistic reason not to go, I think I was just really tired. I tried not to skip unless I was having serious mental health issues. When did you last see or speak to someone you dislike? Why do you dislike this person? I actually don't know who that would be. When you listen to music, do you generally sing along, or just listen? I rarely sing. I just listen. Do you have any of your exes as friends on Facebook? Yes. Does more than one person like you? *shrugs* Has your partner ever accused you of cheating, when you actually didn’t? No. Who was your first love? Do you ever miss that person? Jason. Of course I do sometimes. Other times I know it's probably for the better we have nothing to do with each other anymore. Do you like your middle name?
 I mean it's pretty, but boy do I wish it was more original. If your hair is long, would you ever think about having it cut short? Or, if it’s short, would you like to grow it long? I doubt it will ever be long again. Would you consider your parents to be strict? Dad never was at all; Mom sorta was when I was little. Do you have a mirror in your room? On the back of my door. Have you ever worked in food service? No, thank God. Do you often stay in your pajamas all day? I almost always do, unless I have to go out somewhere. I pretty much never leave my house ever, forget just quarantine, so like... why make more laundry. What are three YouTube videos you would like to film soon? N/A Do you ever listen to country music? No. What is your most severe allergy? Pollen. What’s the largest library fine you’ve ever had? Oh wow, no clue. I haven't been the library in millennia. Have you ever lost a library card? *shrugs* Name three literary characters you feel resemble you the most. UH yikes. This requires too much thought for me rn. Name three cartoon characters that resemble you, and say why. Ummmm I still don't know. Do you have a good doctor? I haven't seen her enough times yet to honestly say. Mom knows and likes her well, though. She's fine so far. Do you wear a watch every day? If so, what color is your watch? No, I never do. Does your phone alarm ever scare you? No, it's very peaceful. Which department store do you shop at the most? Wal-Mart. How old were you when you got your driver’s license? I'm 24 and am yet to have it. Do you have regrets? A good handful or two. Do you ever curl your hair? It's too short to do so. Do you know anyone who has coronavirus? No, and I pray I never do for my mom's sake. Out of all the big cities you’ve visited, which has/have been your favorite? Chicago is the only big city I've ever been it. Was pretty damn dope, though. Do you like dreamcatchers? I mean, they're cool. I don't believe in them being magical, though. Have you ever made a dreamcatcher, and if not, would you like to learn? No and no. Who was your high school’s biggest bully? I don't remember. What color was your graduation cap and gown? Red. Did you keep your graduation cap? I think I did. Did you decorate your graduation cap? Nope. What is your favorite part of nature? The animals within it. Do you use Photoshop? Yes. Favorite photo editing app on your phone? I don't have an editing app. Did you love or hate college? Well, considering I dropped out three times, guess. Favorite class in high school? Art. Favorite class in college? Idk. Probably Writing. Class you hated the most in high school? Math. Class you hated the most in college? Painting brought me the most stress. Do you know how to write in calligraphy? Not technically. Have you ever had a pen pal? No. Do you prefer brownies or cookies? Brownies. Man I could go for one. Favorite Girl Scout cookie? Those Reeses-ish ones. Did you ever go camping as a kid? No. Do you have hormone issues? No. Have you ever gotten a misdiagnosis because your parent(s) lied about you? Er, no? A shitty doctor has misdiagnosed me, though. Which Barbie doll was your favorite? I didn't even know there were "types"... Do you wake up to an alarm? No. When did you go to bed yesterday? Like, 8-something... I rarely make it past 9:30 nowadays. Do you live in a city, town, or in the country? The country. What color is your toothbrush? White. When was the last time you had a nightmare? Yesterday while I was napping. Woke up shrieking and scared Mom out of her skin. Tainted my mood almost the rest of the day. If you had a terminal illness, would you want to know? No shit I would. What was the last thing someone called you other than your real name? I don't know. If you could meet anyone who lived before your time, who would it be? I have no clue. Is there a candle in the room you are in? No. Are you currently taking any prescribed medication? More than I like. Do you have bad anxiety? If so, do you take any kind of medications for it? Yes and yes. Who was the last person you felt you were wasting your time on? I don't know. One thing you’ve experienced that you thought you never would have? A suicide attempt. What was the last thing someone said to you that kept repeating over & over in your head? Ugh. If a random person were to look through the photos on your phone, is there anything you’d be embarrassed about? No. If you could, would you work from home? Do you think that would make you more or less productive? No no no no. I need a reason to leave the house. I'm way more productive away from home anyway. What were you like in middle school? "The weird kid" describes it pretty well. If you could give one charity a million dollars, what charity would you donate money to? YIKES!!!! Now that's a question. Probably something for suicide prevention/awareness. What is something you’re surprised hasn’t been invented yet? The cure for cancer. It's incredible, just how many "possible" cures have been identified in nature, yet you like... hear NOTHING about it afterwards??? My conspiratory and "the medical industry just cares more about money" ass wonders about that a lot. Most disturbing movie you have ever seen? Paranormal Entity or The Rite. Has a life goal or dream ever come true for you yet? If yes, what is it? If no, do you think you’ll achieve it? No. And probably not. What one thing has always bothered you, but seems to bother no one else? Hm. I'm sure there's something. Do you still own a VCR and VHS tapes? No, pretty sure they've all been sold. Did you ever build furniture forts as a child? Yep. What kind of dog is your favorite? Pretty sure I'm biased towards beagles. Are the majority of your friends male or female? Female, I think? Have you ever considered dropping acid? Noooo sir. Would you consider yourself to be mature? Mostly. Describe your music style: I like unique alternative stuff. Catchy, heavy riffs do me in easily, too. I like well thought out, dark, and impactful lyrics. Are you close to any of your aunts/uncles? Not very. Have you ever had a seizure? No. When was the last time you were in a hospital? For myself, 2017. I think. Do you go on vacations a lot? I never do. Are you self-conscious around other people? Very. At your workplace, are you required to wear a uniform? N/A Have you ever witnessed a physical fight in real life? Huh, good question actually. What was your GPA in high school? 4.2/3 or something. Do you use a lot of hair products? I don't use any. I mean, besides shampoo. What is the most amount of money you’ve spent at one time? My own money, I think $300 on a tattoo. What is the best pizza place out there? Domino's. I'm such a basic bitch. Do you know how to play any odd instruments most people can’t play? Nope. When was the last time you used a disposable camera? I think the zoo visit in 5th grade. What is your favorite book series, if you have one? Can't say I really have one. It definitely used to be Warriors by Erin Hunter, but I haven't read any in maaaaaany years. Do you have any celebrity autographs? Nah. What is your favorite color of clothing to wear? Just black. Admit it – you want a Snuggie. What design/color? I got a black one one Christmas, lol. They're honestly not all that great. Do you prefer movies at home or movies at the theater? THE THEATER. I actually enjoy watching movies in the theater. It's just the vibe, I guess, and the size of the screen so you take in everything. How many songs does your iTunes have? Just over 1k. Its memory is maxed out, oof, so if I want a new song, I have to thin the library out. Do you take a shower in the morning or the night before? I've been taking showers more often in the morning, lately. It's a nice, refreshing start to the day. I'm just too tired and unmotivated to at night. Who’s your youngest teacher? N/A When’s the last time you had a rock, paper, scissors match? Wow, no clue. What’s your favorite anime? Fullmetal Alchemist. Did you cry when Ash let his Butterfree go with the other Butterfrees? Oh I probably did, but THEN AGAIN, the female was FUCKIN PINK so I'm sure I was also happy for Butterfree lmao. Even as a kiddo, I knew pink was The Shit. Skinny, flared, ripped, or faded jeans? Skinny, ripped ones. What are you excited for? Just honestly, nothing in the even remotely near future. Nothing in my life is exciting rn. Are you part of the Farmville cult? Never played. Have you ever stood on a frozen solid body of water? YIKES besides like, small puddles, definitely not. I'd be scared to. Which person from way back when would you love to hang out with? Jenna, an old best friend, came to mind first here. It'd be great to catch up with her. She called me in the hospital after my suicide attempt despite not talking in absolutely forever, and I'm never going to forget that. Does your family use a real pine tree or a plastic one for Christmas? Plastic. Literally the only positive of the real ones is the smell. Otherwise, it's a mess that dies too quickly. Do you have any foreign exchange students at your school? N/A What’s your second language? I'm not fluent in it, definitely not anymore, but the language I took for four semesters was German. Is it uncomfortable for you to take showers in glass stalls w/out curtains? OH MY GOD I would positively hate that. Even IF I had a decent body. Did you understand Shakespeare? I was alright. What was the last shot you got? It was a numbing agent into my gums. They had to do it like... seven times. Apparently, I'm just like. Really hard to numb. Ever gotten cavities? Yeah. Do you use hair ties as bracelets? I don't even wear hair ties. What was the last school project you did that you couldn’t wait to turn in? Uhhh... I don't remember. Have you ever graded papers? I actually have; I was helping a teacher on work day. I used to go back to my elementary school a lot to visit my favorite teachers. What was your favorite year of school up to this point? Maybe like, junior year of high school? Or senior. I don't remember which one of those I enjoyed more. I just remember I loved my art class, I had great grades, my relationship was strong, yada yada. What’s the latest you’ve ever woken up? Like 5-6 PM. Had a busy night and that evening was a complete panic attack because my system was so thrown off. One thing I DON'T miss from high school: how bad my anxiety was. Can you recite the alphabet backwards? NOOOO I cannot. Like, at all. Are you a sucker for foreign accents? Some, yes. Do you do yoga? Not anymore.

[pellicano-sanguino]

The Long Carmilla Post 2 - Return of the Long Post about the Queen of Lesbian Vampires

When Tumblr tightened its policy about censoring nudity, they targeted a long post I'd made about Carmilla, since I showed photos of Ingrid Pitt and Yutte Stensgaard with their bare breasts in it. I have now censored the post, edited it and added a little. Carmilla is my favourite vampire of all time, and I have a long history with her different incarnations, so I wanted to bring the Long Carmilla Post back.

When I first posted the Long Carmilla Post, I had just seen the movie made by the Carmilla webseries folks. The sudden fame of the webseries surprised me. I can't help but think, that there must be a lot of new Carmilla fans, who instantly think of Natasha Negovanlis when they hear that name. If this series had been around when I was a teen, damn, would I have loved it! I would have been obsessed with it. But it was not, and I can't really become as obsessed with it now as the new fans do. Because when I hear the name Carmilla, several different faces appear in my imagination. I have already been obsessed with Carmilla from a rather young age, and while I love the webseries and this movie, for me it's just one of Carmilla's newer incarnations, not her default form.

I don't want to sound like a hipster (”I liked Carmilla before the webseries made her cool!”), I just thought that as a lesbian vampire lover I should make a post about my favourite vampire, and the history I have with the character.

There are some images of blood under the cut.

When I was younger, there really wasn't any lesbian litterature around (well, there probably was but I didn't know what books to search). I had a habit of switching genders in the books I read, making everyone female so I could get the girl romances I craved for, but this always felt forced and not ”real.” I read lots of vampire stories, because I've always loved that genre, but it was very much dominated by stories of male vampires. When I read Dracula, it had a short introduction speech that talked about the history of modern vampire stories, and it mentioned Sheridan Le Fanu's Carmilla.

Tracking the novella down was a bit hard, considering that back then I didn't have internet and so could only read books that I found in the library and bookstores. Fortunately the translation of Carmilla was included in one horror anthology that our library had. I managed to get my hands on it, and this cover illustration was the first ”face” of Carmilla that I knew.

I can't really put a finger on why I became so obsessed with this story. It's not that great of a novella. A very basic old-timey vampire story about a monster who threatens the life of the protagonist, who is saved when the monster's true nature is revealed, after which it is hunted down and destroyed. And the lesbian subtext is very, very subtle. There was just something very mysterious and fascinating about Carmilla. She is still among the few vampires who actually frighten me. Though Le Fanu's story isn't very scary by modern standards, Laura's nightmare scenes somehow got under my skin. There's something very creepy in the way vampires in older stories used to steal blood from their victims while they were sleeping. The idea, that there exists a predator who instead of straight up attacking its prey, approaces it by a cover of flawless mimicry, is horrifying. You are being slowly eaten alive and you're not even aware of it happening, or that it's your charming friend doing it to you.

I started having dreams about Carmilla. The first ones were nightmares, but even if they were scary, they didn't make me anxious, just excited. I was scared of Carmilla, but I wanted to see her, I wanted to hear her voice. It was as if I had fallen under her spell, much like Laura, but unlike Laura, I was aware of her true nature. I knew what she wanted, I knew that in my dreams, her kisses would lead to bites. But to a young lesbian who loved vampire stories, those kisses were worth losing a few drops of blood in the dream kingdom. She was one of ”my people.” She was not a genderswapped male hero, she was ”real.” She genuinely loved women and blood, and I loved her.

Halloween isn't really celebrated where I live, but one October a friend of mine decided that she'd hold a Halloween party (which became a yearly tradition for us for many years to come). She invited a group of her friends to watch horror movies at her house, and everyone should wear a costume. There was no competition what I would go as. I had a light blue dress that I decorated with blood stains, and over it I wore a dark gray cape, on which I had painted purple flower patterns to make it resemble the coat Carmilla wears on the cover illustration. It must be almost twenty years old, but I still have that cape.

Little Pellicano as Carmilla. I think I must have been 13 or 14 when this party was held.

Then I saw my first Carmilla movie. A Hammer film called Vampire Lovers.

This is a very silly movie. Very cheesy. But young Pellicano loved it. I can still quote many of the scenes from memory. The movie follows LeFanu's novella rather loosely, but I think it's one of the most faithful adaptations. It included the basic ”plot” that Carmilla uses to get close to her victims, has the nightmares (including Carmilla's monstrous cat form), keeps the plot point that she must form her new names anagrammically and makes her killer be a man who lost his daughter to the vampire. So far I think it's the only movie version that includes the scene where Carmilla sees the funeral procession of a girl she killed and loses it completely. I've always found that scene interesting, many claim that her fit of anxiety is caused by hearing the chanting (being unholy creature who's weak to christian things) but I think it's more than that. Either she has horrifying flashbacks to her own funerals (waking to vampirism and having to claw her way out of her own grave, that would scar me for sure) or she is genuinely sorry for killing the girl and terrified of having to face the truth that her love will always end in death.

I want to interpret Carmilla as a vampire who really loves her victims, not as playthings but as real lovers. But she wasn't a reluctant vampire either, she embraced the monstrous side of herself. It was natural to her, and so it was inevitable that the women she loved would eventually die. Maybe she preferred to ignore this knowledge in the daytime, and when she was forced to see what her night time activities had resulted in, the fit of anxiety happened.

A bit off topic, but one scene from the novella that I've never seen make it into a movie, is when a wandering salesman offers his dentistry services to Carmilla, offering to file down her fangs, which sends Carmilla into a fit of rage. I don't know, I always thought that scene pretty funny. Poor guy, offering to de-fang a vampire and getting a HOW DARE YOU rant in response.

So, the next ”face” of Carmilla was obviously Ingrid Pitt. While this movie wasn't particularly explicit (all the sex happens off screen), the lesbian subtext was much less subtle, which pleased young Pellicano. And then there was the infamous bathing scene (would show pics, but gotta censor for Tumblr. You can easily find them by image googling.).

When I was younger, I suffered from being underweight for a long time (had always been a small girl). Seeing Ingrid Pitt's figure motivated me to try to gain weight. She was so beautifully soft and curved, not just her chest, but her shoulders and legs and everything just looked so smooth and nice, while I had thin, pointy, stick-like limbs with sharp edges and none of that lovely roundness. I know teens should not look at celebrities and actresses as body models, but I think having Ingrid Pitt's shape as body goal was healthy for me. I never reached that goal, of course, but I did eventually reach normal weight limits (50kg, the weight needed for blood donors).

That friend of mine, who hosted Halloween parties, watched the movie with me and knew that I was obsessed with Carmilla. One day she got me a fake gold necklace with a red plastic gem on it, shaped like a blood drop. I don't know where she got this trinket from, but it was similar to the pendant Carmilla wears in the movie, and even if it was just cheap junk, I treasured it. And totally wore it during the next Halloween party, going as Carmilla like I always did. I've lost the gold chain, but I still have the gem.

Also still have the VHS. I don't know why I've kept it, I have no VHS player anymore.

Before I move on from Ingrid Pitt, I’d like to mention a pet peeve of mine. Ingrid Pitt has done two vampire roles (three if Elisabeth Bathory from Countess Dracula is counted). The more famous role is obviously Carmilla, it’s probably her most famous role ever, period. Her other vampire role is Carla Lynde from House that Dripped Blood. Now, the thing that annoys me is that article writers tend to always mix these two up. Whenever they write something about Carmilla or female vampires in general, they always mention Ingrid Pitt’s role as Carmilla in Vampire Lovers, but they always use the same damn stupid promo photo that is from House that Dripped Blood. That’s lazy research! Do they just image google “Ingrid Pitt vampire” and fail to check if the photo they use is actually from the movie they’re talking about?! The roles don’t even look identical, Carmilla’s a brunette while Carla Lynde is blonde, Vampire Lovers is set in 1800s, House that Dripped Blood is set in 20th century. The worst one was when the museum in my home city had a vampire themed exhibition and even they used the wrong photo for Vampire Lovers. If a museum can’t get their facts straight, that’s just sad.

Here is an example of my pet peeve in action, an article about vampire movies, using the wrong fucking photo for Vampire Lovers. And yes, I know why they like using this particular photo (”höhöhöö boobs, I’m so mature”). But that just makes me more angry when they do it.

Hammer made a sequel to Vampire Lovers called Lust for a Vampire. It was... ��disappointing. It introduced a male love interest for Carmilla, which in my opinion was complete bullshit. If you want to make a story about a female vampire who falls in love with a human boy, by all means make it, but don't call it Carmilla, call it something else. That being said, there were a good amount of lesbian action going on as well (this time Carmilla plotted her way into an all girls' school...) and if there's one thing Hammer rarely fails at delivering, it's the bucketloads of unconvincing bright red fake blood. I skipped the icky het sex, but always enjoyed this scene:

Yeah, Yutte Stensgaard was the third ”face” of Carmilla. When I think of that name, this blood-covered, sleepy-looking vampire maiden is among the images that instantly pop into my mind.

The third Carmilla movie I saw was titled just Carmilla and starred Meg Tilly.

This was clearly a cheaper (maybe made for TV) adaptation. Meg Tilly didn't leave as big an impression as Ingrid Pitt and Yutte Stensgaard did. But I do remember one line from the movie clearly. When Marie (the southerner ”Laura” of this version) asks about Carmilla's past, Carmilla brushes it aside by saying ”That was another lifetime. I'm much happier now.” I adopted this phrase into use. Whenever people are unknowingly asking about a painful thing from my past that I don't want to talk about, I will say it to let them know that nothing good comes from digging old wounds that have already scarred. That was another lifetime. I'm much happier now.

I do remember that Meg Tilly's Carmilla was the movie with the ”awkward floaty blood drinking pose.”

I'm sorry, but that just doesn't look comfortable. Or functional.

Then the big day came – my family got a computer that could access internet. It was an awful piece of junk that could barely be used for writing emails and visiting messageboards. It wouldn't play videos, loading images took forever and big pictures often made it freeze. However, I had access to the internet now. The first word I ever googled was obviously ”carmilla.” Among the sites I found back then, was one about a German play, starring a woman called Ulrike Schneidewind.

The site had big, beautiful promo photos of the play. They took forever to load, but I returned to watch them often. There was something captivating in Ulrike Schneidewind's look for Carmilla. I'm not usually a fan of vampires with the white face+red lipstick+loads of mascara-look, but hers was beautiful, like a painting, like a creature that really wasn't human.

I don’t know if they used fake blood in the actual play or if it was only for these promo photos, but it looks incredibly pretty and surprisingly convincing.

I have no idea what this demon looking thing is supposed to be - Carmilla’s monstrous cat form maybe?

Ulrike Schneidewind became the next ”face” of Carmilla, even though I have never seen her act. All I've seen are these promo photos of the play (I have heard her speak. There's a couple minutes long news clip on Youtube about a vampire lifestyler event she attended). Supposedly there exists a VHS of the Carmilla play they performed on a Romanian tour, but they must have only made a handful of those, since I've never seen it on sale anywhere. I check the German eBay every now and then in faint hopes of finding a copy but I've come to accept that I'll probably never see this show. But still, Ulrike Schneidewind's look left an impression on my mind.

Around those times I started to draw comics in which my self-insert character shared a house with six vampire roommates (Carmilla, who owned the house, Brunhilda from Wake Not the Dead, Teresa from Last Lords of Gardonal, Ruthven, Dracula and Francis Varney) and an OC named Charity (Brunhilda's donor and girlfriend). I mostly pulled the designs for my vampires out of thin air, really (well, Dracula was as he was descrided in the novel, with fuzzy moustache and bushy eyebrows) but Carmilla's design was based on Ulrike Schneidewind's look, with blue veins shining through the white skin and lots of dark makeup and black hair.

Sad part is that it's been over ten years and my drawing skills have not improved at all. This is not ”art” this is doodles. But drawing these was super fun back then, so I shouldn't feel ashamed of them now, I think.

Besides these comics, I wrote some fanfics too. But I'm very glad I never put those anywhere public, because damn, they are embarrassing to read now. It's because my fanfics were actually serious business, full of drama and sturm und drang, and they turned out rather cheesy. Also full of, ahem, erotic content written by someone who had no personal experience on the subject yet. The comics on the other hand were just made for shits and giggles, and I think they've survived the test of time better (by which I mean, that I have actually shown my comics to other people, because occasionally I think I made a fun one, while I've never shown my fics to anyone and have already burned the worst ones.).

When the wonderland of internet was opened to me, I gained access to all the books in the world. I was no longer restricted by what our library and book stores had, I could buy stuff that wasn't published here. So obviously I got a copy of Kyle Marffin's Carmilla sequel. It's not a very good book. Quite silly, childish and badly written (men really shouldn't write about lesbians, they know nothing about them and enjoying an erotic scene becomes rather hard when you imagine some gross het dude writing it while drooling on his keyboard). But it was the first time I read a rather explicit lesbian sex scene, and that got me very excited, because finally all the subtext was thrown to garbage. Here it was, black on white, proof that Carmilla was into girls, not just their blood but their bodies as well. My late discovery of lesbian erotica may seem weird now, when anyone can gain access to mountains of lesbian smut in the internet, but back when I lived with my parents I never dared to look up smut on the home computer, in fear that they'd find out. Until I moved out, my only access to lesbian erotica was books, and Carmilla's Return was the first one I got.

Rant time: I might also add, that annoyingly enough I had been encountering explicit het sex scenes in books, movies and TV years before. And while I never intentionally searched naughty stuff on the net, I had bumped into het porn there accidentally as well. I wonder if heteros understand how freaking frustrating this kind of thing was. Their smut was all over the place, in every book, every film and all around the net, pretty much rubbed to my face, while MY stuff was so obscure I didn't even know where to look for it. And then they had the nerve to claim that we are ”flaunting it” and ”making it all about ourselves” whenever there was a gay sidecharacter somewhere. Grr. Grrr. Rant over.

I bumped into some incarnations of Carmilla later too, but none left an impression on my mind like these early ones did. The worst Carmilla I ever saw was the main villain in Lesbian Vampire Killers. That movie is easily the worst vampire movie I have ever seen (maybe even the worst movie I've seen, period), it's an ”erotic horror comedy” that is neither sexy, scary or funny. It is nice that when they were thinking of a character to star in a movie about lesbian vampires, they chose Carmilla. But the movie is such utter garbage, I'd rather they'd left my favourite vampire out of it. Save your money and sanity -  don't watch this movie. It's bad.

I feel like a lot of time people want to take Carmilla's name and make a whole new character with it (like Reimi Urara's character in Vampire Succession, who is named Carmilla but isn't even a vampire at all). These ”Carmilla in name only” kind of characters don't count, and frankly speaking I'm not that fond of them. I guess it is nice that people want to pay respect to the legendary vampire by naming a character after her, but my opinion still is that if you don't want to tell the story of a lesbian vampire, call your character something else. If you take away either of Carmilla's two passions; that of women or that of blood, the character loses her trademark characteristics and stops being ”real.” You don't make a Godzilla movie where the king of the monsters isn't allowed to have his trademark atomic breath, and you don't make a Carmilla who doesn't love women and blood.

Now that I have said that, you probably guess my opinion about the (*spoilers*) ending of the webseries's third season. Yeah, I wasn't a fan of humanizing Carmilla. So, I went to see the movie with rather low expectations, and was pleasantly surprised. This movie is more Carmilla than all of the webseries's seasons together.

But let's speak about the webseries first. I was very positively surprised by it. One day I ended up googling Carmilla again (was probably looking for fanfics) and discovered this little gem. It had very little to do with Le Fanu's original, but what it decided to change was so good that I didn't care. And it had still lots of little nods to the novella. Carmilla's anagrammical names, the nightmares, they freaking included Laura's governesses De Lafontaine and Perrodon (I would totally watch a spin-off that just follows the adventures of Laf and Perry) and there's even a scene where Carmilla is watching over sleeping Laura, looking a bit similar to a famous illustration of the novella. Also, the theme song ”Love will have it's sacrifices”, is a direct quote, from a scene where Carmilla is describing to Laura the night when the curse of vampirism was passed on to her (of course, she doesn't out right say it, but the reader knows what she's talking about).

”--- I was all but assassinated in my bed, wounded here," she touched her breast, "and never was the same since."

"Were you near dying?"

"Yes, very--a cruel love--strange love, that would have taken my life. Love will have its sacrifices. No sacrifice without blood.---”

I'm not going to say the webseries doesn't have its flaws, a little lazy writing here and there, plot holes and inconsistent characters occasionally (I feel sorry for Danny. She just can't win.). But it was incredibly entertaining, it made me laugh and it made me care about what happens to everyone. And like probably a lot of the fans, I adored the fact that they didn't dance around the lesbian thing. When Laura understands that Carmilla's advances weren't blood-related, her reaction isn't any dumb ”But we're both girls, how can this be?!” Whoever understood to make Laura gay too was a genius. When she gets all flattered and blushing after learning that a beautiful girl finds her attractive, it's such a relatable feeling. It's the lesbian romance I so wanted as a teen! Not stories of a predatory lesbian seducing dumb clueless het girls to the dark side, but girls experiencing all the usual things female leads in romantic stories do, only with another girl as their love interest.

The first season of the webseries is my favourite. The second was pretty good, too. Third, in my opinion, a bit unnecessary (here I think you could see the writing starting to slip). Then came the movie.

They could have completely abandoned the vampire theme and proceeded with the heroes' further adventures. But they didn't and thank goodness for it. They return to draw inspiration from the original source; the novella. We have nightmares, and I admit they actually made me uneasy, reminding me of that creepy feel Laura's dream scenes gave me in the novella. The image of Carmilla laying down in a coffin filled with blood is also from the story. There's a scene where Carmilla is forced to reveal her vampiric nature, and it really reminds me of the scene where it happens in the book.  

And they freaking quote it, probably being the first adaptation ever to use straight quotes from the book. ”Die together so they can live together”-speech isn't quite right word-to-word, I think, but still, it's an identifiable quote. I used to be able to quote the ”You are mine, you shall be mine”-speech in English, Swedish and German, but have now forgotten most versions (yeah, I read Carmilla in several languages when I was younger. I was freaking obsessed with the story). I still think it's the most memorable quote from the novella. Also, the book-reading scene with ”Girls are caterpillars who undergo several larval stages before becoming butterflies”-speech is also from the novella. I think the only famous quote missing in this movie is the ”I've never been in love and never shall unless it should be with you”-speech.

As a fan of the ”old” Carmilla I adore how they pay homage to the origin respectfully, while still making their very own story. Again, teenaged Pellicano would have been all over this stuff. But I had to make my lesbian vampire stories from other versions, and while those also have their flaws, I adore them just as much. I am just happy that Carmilla lives on, not forgotten and left in the shadow of the countless more famous male vampires (seriously, where the fuck are all the female vampires? Ones that are actually main characters in their story and pass the freaking vampiric Bechdel test?)

Carmilla lives on, indeed. She has made a new comeback in Netflix's Castlevania series. I watched the first season and liked it quite a bit. It was a bit too gorey for my personal taste, but that wasn’t a dealbreaker. I liked the art style and was interested to see where they take the story. When I heard rumours that the second season would have a character named Carmilla, my reaction was pretty much “Carmilla is part of the Castlevania franchise?! Why did no one tell me this before?!”

Of course I’m always eager to see new adaptations of my favourite vampire. So, I did some research to know which games she appears in, made some popcorn and sat down to watch some Let’s Play videos (I’m not a gamer and don’t own game consoles so the only way I get to experience videogames is through Let’s Plays in Youtube.). But I ended up rather disappointed. Carmilla in the Castlevania games is cartoonishly silly at best, downright insulting to the original at worst.

So, after seeing how poorly the games treated my favourite vampire, I looked forward to the second season of the Netflix series with mixed feelings. I was hopeful, thinking that they can't go anywhere but up from here. And I was pleasantly surprised. The character design made her a bit silly looking with eeeevil face and her body language is very femme fatale-ish (I don’t really see the appeal of the femme fatale trope, but then again, it’s usually written for male audience), but they didn't put her in an ugly, revealing costume and the camera focused on her face instead of her breasts.

It's disappointing that she isn't a lesbian in this one (she makes one joke that hints she might be into girls too, but because Dracula's war council is mostly one big sausage fest, we don't see her interact with other females much).

I am so, so happy that the makers of the show understood that Carmilla is not some boot-licking notice-me-senpai Dracula fangirl (an aspect of her I loathed in the games). The only reasons for a lesbian vampire to ally with a male one are if they have a common goal (such as defending themselves against vampire hunters) or if she has no other choice. Netflix Carmilla is the latter. Dracula is a powerful, dangerous monster, who is also very much insane and therefore unpredictable. When he summons Carmilla to join his senseless crusade against humankind, Carmilla can't afford to refuse and take the chance of the mad vampire king killing her for disobedience and making a warning example of her. She has to go to war she herself deems pointless (well, Godbrand had a point in his ”If vampires kill all the humans, what will the vampires eat?”-speech.). So she begins to plot to prevent the genocide (she actually wants humankind to keep existing as opposed to wiping them from the face of the Earth, remind me again why she is the one every fan hates while they love Dracula the Kill All Humans-madman? Oh right, she assaults one of the male fan favourite characters on screen and is therefore deemed much more evil than Dracula who slaughters countless innocent humans offscreen without mercy. Got it.).

I love that she uses cunning instead of seduction when putting her plot to gain freedom from Dracula's servitude in action. Admittedly, some of the scenes where she's manipulating Hector seem a bit seductive-ish, but are still nothing compared to the ”Oh great master let me lick the blood off your sword!”-bullshit from the games. Also, was I the only one who could see right through her mindgames? Every time she complimented some man, I was shaking my head ”Lady, even blind Reetta can see that you are full of shit.” So it really surprised me when Hector fell for it. How do you fall for such an obvious trap?

I like that Carmilla's reasons for her schemes are reasonable and based on common sense and war strategy rather than just being evil for the sake of being evil. That being said, the scene where she beats Hector felt unnecessary, the man was tied up and would have gone with her even without getting his ass handed to him, because he's a prisoner and has no choice. I understand that it's an important scene symbolically, tying back to the scene where the animal-loving Hector compares vampires to cats, to which Isaac points out that cats play cruelly with their prey. It's a turning point for Hector, who abandoned humanity and tried to find a new family among monsters only to realize that they are, well, monsters. What did you expect voting for Leopards Eating Peoples' Faces Party would bring to you? Anyway, I understand that the scene is important to the plot and character growth, but I can't help but feel that making Carmilla assault a fan favourite character so brutally was the writers way of making sure the audience hates her. I have a feeling that they want to be sure the audience hates her, because they have something disgusting in mind for her for the third season.

I already talked about this in my ”If you have to kill female vampires on screen, please don't make it look like a rape”-post. I am worried what they are going to do with Carmilla. She's obviously going to get killed, but I hope they allow her to go down with dignity. Lords of Shadows 2 already gave us a really disgusting, rapey killing scene (I’ve only seen one killing scene with an even clearer “lesbianism can be cured by rape”-theme, in Lesbian Vampire Killers where Carmilla is impaled by a dick-shaped sword), we do not need another. I don't want Hector or Isaac or Dracula impaling her body slowly and looking downward at her in disgust as she painfully dies. Yes, Dracula will be coming back, it's Castlevania after all. I'm also worried of the possibility that instead of killing her, they make Dracula force her back into his servitude, which would also be super gross.

I am happy that the character of Carmilla lives on, that new fans get to experience her with these new incarnations, but whenever a new Carmilla surfaces, I am also a bit worried at how they are going to handle her character this time. I will have to wait and see how the third season of Castlevania ends, until then it is useless to speculate.

[cutiecrates]

Cutie Reviews: DokiDoki Oct 19

Fluffy loves TokyoTreat apparently; he couldn’t wait for me to put the box aside!

I always get really excited whenever we come to an October DokiDoki box x3 they’re usually really fun, include cute accessories and Halloween items, and I love the cover artists work.

This months theme: Happy Halloween

“This month’s crate is all about the spooky side of kawaii. Come celebrate Halloween with us, using these items to make your October 31st a spooky special night!“

You know, as I read this and began to look more closely into this box and the Yume Twins, I almost felt like these 2 boxes were competing with each other this month. That, or its purely coincidental that they had vaguely similar themes and items. It could be, but I thought it was kind of funny.

Suteki Crate & Photo Prize

This month’s prize feature a pair of Pokemon plush ready to go trick-or-treating.

Meanwhile, the Suteki Crate is based on Sanrio goods, namely Kuromi and Sentimental Circus. Along with My Melody and Sirotan.

I love the Kuromi plushie, as well as the pouch set next to it, and the pen stand above it! The umbrella and hand bag are also very cute too.

Halloween Cat Tape

I think this may have been by the same company that made the “Christmas Cat“ tape we got from a Christmas box last year. The packaging and style of it looks exactly the same, but with different pictures of course. The length of this tape is 15mm x 2m.

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ 

I think for cat lovers, washi lovers, or decorators for Halloween would really like this. It’s easy to tear and stick, it sticks really well as far as I can tell, and the design is a really cute and fun way to touch up whatever you might be using it for.

Pumpkin Shiba

It looks like we get to have a fun little guest join us for Halloween- the very same Shiba who showed up during Christmas, and peach season. I’m not complaining, but I’m guessing by this its popularity is still going strong huh?

Anyway, for this month, this sweet little shiba comes donning a jack-o-lantern costume! It’s super-round and thick, filled to the brim with cotton for a soft and squishy companion you can squeeze nonstop~

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

I think its adorable, if I had remembered I had it I would have set it out somewhere in the house for some more decoration. It’s very cuddly as far as plushies go, but I noticed in the picture that its ear seems stuffed, while mine has a slight wrinkle to it. I’m not sure if that was just how random the distribution for the stuffing is, or if I’m just over-analyzing. The body itself feels like... I want to say cheap carnival plush, while the head portion feels like good quality plush.

But the plush is really cute, and the quality of the stitching and detail is really good. A lot of times I always find some minuscule error or issue with mine, and besides its ear, nothing stood out to me.

Kuromi Spoon

Our next item is essential for Halloween, because before you can do anything you need to eat :D and this month, we received a Kuromi themed spoon. Just be careful so she mischievously doesn’t make you spill anything ;3 Its worth or costs 5 Sanrio points.

These types of spoons are those curvy, deep ones you will find in a lot of Asian places or served with soup. Because its shape makes it the perfect spoon for collecting the liquids or small items. I assume this could also be really useful for things like cereal, or certain desserts.

The spoon’s long handle and shape on the tip make it handy for storage and easier use. The top is white and black, while the underside is colored lavender. The spoon features an image of Kuromi, and her name is written on the handle, along with a print of grey skulls and pale pink hearts. 

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

It’s so cute! It’s perfect for a cutesy Halloween image, or Kuromi fans like me ♥ I admit that I didn’t use it yet (nor the Sumikko Gurashi one I got a few years back; I KEEP forgetting and we just had soup yesterday DX), but I intend to at some point. Or just keep it for my slowly building Kuromi collection.

My Melody & Kuromi Bowl

Any fellow Cutie will probably remember seeing this exact design in my YumeTwins review; now do you see why I was starting to compare the two boxes a little earlier?

To be fair, they are already very similar though... I should do a comparison review at some point, but I’m not sure how I would go about it. I’ll need to sit down and give it some thought later, I think it could be kind of fun to do.

Oh, anyway, this is an adorable heart-shaped bow. Besides Kuromi and My Melody though, it also features some other friends preparing for a Halloween Party with them! This is worth/costs 10 Sanrio points.

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ 

Besides just looking really cute, the bowl is very deep. It’s perfect for any sort of food item you could want to put in it, or you can even store other little items, like essentially you would leave home with (keys, cards, sanitizer, coupons, reusable bags, etc), trinkets or small collectables, toiletries, etc.

I can’t wait to use it~

Ghost Sponge

Our last item, which will help you clean up after a fun Halloween; or if you’re like me help with spring cleaning...

You get 9 melamine ghost-shaped sponges. They’re very soft and squishy, and because there are so many you could do a lot of things with them! Besides cleaning, you could use some to make pictures by dipping them in paint, perform squishy makeovers, decorate in various other ways (they would be cute put on the wall and painted with glowing paint :D), or just use them as a cheap and premade squishy.

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Honestly, I’m not sure what I want to do with them yet, if anything. I know we get this stuff to use it, but sometimes I can’t bring myself to ruin it by using it you know? I hate the idea of ruining it and throwing it away, because it feels like a waste of money to me. But when we get copies like this, then it’s not as hard for me, so I will probably spare so many, and use the rest.

♥ Cutie Ranking ♥

Content - 4 out of 5. I’m happy with the items and the quality is really good. No real problems or issues- BUT, usually when we get a Halloween box, they would always include some really cute accessories; one year we got kitty ear clips and paws, one year we got a nurses needle pen and wing hair clips. They usually don’t go mainstream with them like they did this time. 

Theme: 4.5 out of 5. All but 1 item is pretty much definite Halloween material. But the 1 item that isn’t has that sort of spooky-cute vibe, which is what they were going for, so it still works. I feel like the Happy Halloween theme itself was also a little generic/basic.

Total Rank: 8 out of 10 Cuties. I would recommend the items or this box, but I didn’t think it was up to part with their previous Halloween boxes.

♥ Cutie Scale ♥

1. Bowl - On one hand, I like how the design goes with the other items in the YumeTwins box- but on the other, I’m a little bored with the design by now. I love its heart shape though, I’m excited to begin using it!  

2. Ghost Sponge - They’re simple looking, but adorable.

3. Kuromi Spoon - I love the design on the handle, it’s so sweetly dark. I really need to get it and my Neko spoon in the silverware drawer... 

4. Pumpkin Shiba - It’s so cute and round x3

5. Cat Tape - I tend not to use my washi tape (the few times I did, they tend not to stick very well?) but I really like to collect and just look back on them from time to time.

[abbydraper]

Who Gets a Seat in Peter’s Cockpit?

The bios for this seasons’ Bachelor contestants went live today and I just can’t help myself. My justification for this round is that ABC is finally back to giving me what I want... more than just a “job” title and an age. Yep, this season we are getting the full on, horribly written bios. Which means I have so much more to work with. 

Alayah (unsure of pronunciation) 

After failing 3 times before, Alayah (unsure of pronunciation) was finally crowned Miss Texas this year. And she really likes talking about it. The Bachelor franchise interns that wrote this bio also added a teaser that, “familiar faces” might resurface proving that Alayah (unsure of pronunciation) is batshit, and like, we already had this drama with Caelynn and Hannah last season, so no thank you. She claims her favorite social media platform is Reddit and I hope we learn that she goes deep on Reddit conversations about romantic relationships with wildlife animals, or something.  

 Avonlea (not a real name)

Cattle Rancher by day, runway model by night, Avonlea (not a real name) shares that every time she milks one of her cows, she thanks it for its hard work. That would be like me kissing my laptop any time I finished a press release. Except less strange. She also claims that in her spare time she likes snuggling up by the fire to listen to a good audiobook and I’m interpreting this as an admission that she can’t read.  

Alexa (can you not start fights this season? Get it, that’s an Alexa joke)

Alexa wants us to know that she decided to move to Chicago during a game of heads or tails, and I’m assuming that’s to make us think she’s adventurous and up for anything, but her hometown is Springfield, Ill. and when I Google map the distance between the two cities, it’s a three hour drive. I made the decision to move 3,000 miles away over a mid-day FaceTime with my boss and have never included that in a bio when looking for love. She’s going to require a lot of attention and I’m already annoyed. 

Courtney

Courtney is proud to be a Florida girl, “through and through” which isn’t something anyone should find pride in. She has had a lot of plastic surgery, but is wearing a cross necklace over a mock turtleneck tank top in her Bachelor photo which means she’s boring to talk to, but makes up for it generously in the bedroom. 

Deandra

Why are all of these women from Texas? Was it the last place on the audition city tour? Anyway, Deandra describes herself as an “independent, intelligent” woman, which translates the same way as when a guy describes himself as “funny” on a dating app... no way it’s true. She is a self-proclaimed “famers market aficionado” and that’s not a thing. 

Eunice (also not a name, but could be an allergy medication)

Eunice (also not a name, but could be an allergy medication) really wants to rid herself of the party girl reputation but when asked her favorite country, she responded with “Greece” because she can knock back ouzo like it’s water, so she’ll be the first to chug a bottle of champagne and make a bad joke about Peters cockpit. Kind of like I did in the title of this post. 

Hannah Ann (I really hate when people have two first names)

Hannah Ann (I really hate when people have two first names) looks like she was on a show on the WB called “Teenage Darkness” that was canceled after one season and likely could have been as she still lives at home with her parents. Her “home” (room at her parents) is decorated with artwork that she painted herself. The background on my phone is a picture of me, so I have no room to judge. But I am. 

Jade 

Like 80% of the other contestants, and The Bachelor himself, Jade is a flight attendant. Unlike other flight attendants, Jade claims she is afraid of heights. What a risk taker. She is also a mormon and was divorced at age 22 so there’s a lot to unpack here. No travel pun intended.  

Jasmine

In a single paragraph, we learn that Jasmine wants a guy that can do the impossible (bring her Chick-Fil-A on a Sunday), build her a table, give her babies (but not until they’ve traveled the world together) and doesn’t play video games. Pretty specific list of “musts” from a guy who wears a bandaid on his forehead and gets off to windmills. 

Jenna

I feel like Jenna and Peter are this seasons Ben H. and Lauren B. He’ll fall hard, but wonder if she’s too quiet and reserved and she’ll spend a lot of time telling him she’s super fun while actually being incredibly boring. She has a pet goldfish named George, the most boring name on the planet, and she believes that George, her pet goldfish, gives great advice. That’s all the proof I need to validate my assumptions.

Kiarra

She is a self-proclaimed social butterfly who loves shopping, fashion, style and social media. So she’s here for the Fab, Fit, Fun + Fit Tea Instagram deals. 

Katrina 

Katrina has a hairless cat (her words, not mine) that she does everything with. She claims that she dressed up like her hairless cat for Halloween and I need to see what that looks like. Or maybe I don’t. The cat is named after her favorite Disney princess and at age 28 I don’t think someone should have a favorite Disney princess. Her mom is worried about her biological clock ticking and I think she should be more concerned that Katrina brings her “hairless cat” with her to birthday parties. 

Kelley

Kelley needs a man to take care of her, and her most recent relationship was an “international long distance” lover that paid for her to go to Jordan to see him once or twice a month. So, she had a sugar daddy. She decided to end it because she “couldn’t see herself moving to the Middle East”. Which reads, she found out she was on The Bachelor and had to call it off... for now. She has been to 26 countries, so I’m guessing Mr. Jordan wasn’t her first SD. 

Kelsey

Kelsey is a “professional clothier” in Iowa and that’s not a real thing. She claims she’s had relationship issues in the past but Pilates cured that right up. She says she’s not looking for drama, which means she will cry a lot this season. I hope it doesn’t ruin that spray tan and smokey eye look.  

Kylie 

Kylie is an entertainment sales associate in Santa Monica, which means she probably passes out fliers for nightclubs on the Santa Monica Promenade during the day and is a bottle service girl in Hollywood at night, in hopes that she will be “discovered”. She is looking for that “rom-com kind of love” which translates to auditioning for The Bachelor and then dating in the franchise pool for press when it doesn’t happen with Peter. 

Lauren

The most important part of Lauren’s bio is that she conducts exit interviews with all of her exes to find out what went wrong. Imagine that. Your boyfriend comes over to break up with you and you’re like, “I understand. Are you free Thursday between 1 - 2 so I can document when you became unhappy in this role and why? Want to make sure the next person we hire (I date) doesn’t face the same challenges” and him responding with, “Oh yea, totally. See you at 1:30, Thursday.” I’m pretty sure if I called an ex and asked for a SWOT analysis on our relationship he would say, “Abby, this is exactly the reason things didn’t work out.”  

Lexi

Lexi would rather be buried alive than trapped in a room full of frogs. That’s it. The thought of being buried in the ground, alive and breathing, is more appealing to her than being in a room of small amphibians for a short amount of time. Sounds like a ball of fun.

Madison

Madison really wants you to know that she loves basketball. She would even rather rock a pair of Jordan’s (I think those are basketball shoes) than heels. She also loves Jesus. A lot. And if Peter doesn’t, it will be a technical foul for their love. Sports jokes, am I right? 

Maurissa (not how you spell Marissa)

Maurissa (not how you spell Marissa) broke up with her long-term boyfriend, moved to Atlanta and lost 80 pounds. She will be the one that works out in the morning instead of having a mimosa with the other girls. She says if she hits it off with Peter right away, she plans on going hard, so she’ll be the one to steal him away during every other conversation. She’ll probably make him feel her newfound biceps, too.

Megan

Another flight attendant joins the season. This one has aspirations of visiting Zion which is literally a 5 hour drive from San Francisco, where she lives. Dream big, Megan. I see her making it to hometowns and since her mom is her best friend, she’s going to put Peter through the ringer which will be very difficult for their relationship. Do you think I’ve watched a season or two of this show? Megan also looks like a hybrid of every Bachelorette this franchise has ever had. 

Mykenna

Mykenna is barely out of college and has only been in one relationship, so this will be tough for us all to endure. She is a fashion blogger which isn’t a real job, from Canada, who has a BHAG of starting a charity. For what, we don’t know. Her grandfather proposed to her grandmother after their first date. All of this wrapped up in one person means a lot of tears will be shed. 

Natasha

An event planner from New York (who in New York isn’t an event planner?) Natasha loves her legs and her back because she has a cross and a dagger tattoo there. What do you think inspires someone to get a cross and a dagger tattooed on their legs all the way up to their back? Real question. 

Payton (not how you spell this name) 

1. “Payton (not how you spell this name) is the type of woman who goes into a bar alone and leaves with 100 new best friends”. No she doesn’t. 

2. Payton (not how you spell this name) found out she had a fifth sibling, “thanks to some serious Facebooking”. No she didn’t. 

3. Payton (not how you spell this name) currently lives in her parents’ basement. That explains why she included 1 + 2 in her bio. 

Sarah

I put my thousands of hours watching every iteration on this show that Sarah is in the final three. She is the Whitney B. of Chris Soules’ season. Like, exactly. Job in medicine, sweet looking blonde, thoughtful and targeted responses to bio questions... calling it now. 

Savannah

Savannah has done her research on what makes Bachelor Nation contestants famous, post show. She claims she enjoys shopping at Revolve, a brand that thrives on leveraging former suitresses as influencers. See: JoJo, Kaitlyn, Hannah G., Caelynn, Caila and other misspelled names from Bachelor seasons past. Her indulgence is Vampire Facials, a trend also posted to IG stories from the aforementioned. She refers to herself as the “turtle princess” and I hope that means what I desperately need it to mean. 

Shiann

In her bio, she claims her dating history includes men with wives, men that ghost her and men that like her friends more than they like her. Sounds like Las Vegas (where she lives) to a tee. She will not make it past night one. 

Sydney

Sydney is coming onto the show with a broken heart. Her favorite holiday is Valentine’s Day and her hobbies including planning fantasy vacations for her and her unknown future husband. She will absolutely come out of the limo with a cupcake and a poorly written poem for Peter, that he won’t remember. 

Tammy

Tammy wanted so desperately to be on the mens wrestling team in high school, that when they told her no, she just showed up to all of their practices until they let her...wrestle. She will be interrupting one-on-one time when she’s not supposed to and show up to Peters hotel room unannounced more than once this season. Tammy also has a vanity license plate and the combination of all of this is just too much for me to think about.

Victoria F. (apparently there is more than one Victoria this season) 

She wants it to be known that she likes a man that cries in public and I already do not relate. She also responded to her bio questions with run on sentences so again, I do not relate. Good luck, Victoria F.  

Victoria P. (the second Victoria it seems)

I’m fairly certain I’ve seen Victoria P. in a porn, but either way, she leads with losing her father at a young age, her mother and sister struggling with drug addiction and her boyfriend cheating on her, but she states that nothing upsets her more than finding raisins in her cookies. Like, despite it all, dried grapes really piss Victoria P. off. Priorities. 

What are your thoughts after reading the bios? Will you watch this season? Tell me everything. 

[theycallmebeccawrites]

Chris & Ellie Series: Episode 13

With Tumblr holding my original writing blog @beccaheartschrisevans captive (aka flagged as explicit), I have made a secondary writing blog and may end up closing the other all together. In the meantime, I am reposting all of my stories on my new blog.

Pairing: Chris Evans x Ellie Spencer (OFC)

Rating: PG

Warnings: n/a

Episode Summary: Thanksgiving 2013, Ellie makes an important decision

Disclaimer: This work of fiction is not to be reposted, used or translated without my permission.

This episode can also be read on AO3.

The Chris and Ellie series is primarily chronological.  It begins with a flash forward to 2016 and has a few other scenes in the future.  However, the majority of their story is told in chronological order starting in 2013 and going through 2017. Each episode starts with a date to help you place it within the story.

The Chris & Ellie Series Masterlist | Chris & Ellie Masterlist

Episode 12

Episode 13: Texts & Confessions

November 28, 2013 - Thanksgiving

In a quiet corner of her aunt's house, Ellie sat staring down at her phone, reading the latest text message from Chris. It had been just about a month since she'd left him and Scott in Boston and returned to LA and she and the brothers had texted nearly every day, Scott more so than Chris, but he always reached out at least once a day to ask how she was. Today, however, he had been texting her nearly non-stop and giving her the play-by-play of Thanksgiving with his family.

So far, his nephews had been caught trying to sneak pie and he'd had to change shirts twice thanks to his niece's keen ability to either spit up on him and/or have a diaper explosion when he was holding her. He had had to change his shirt a third time, he'd admitted, after getting in a wrestling match with some of his cousins during flag football.

Chris's texts had started about eight am and Ellie had responded to each one with a tidbit of her own or an appropriate response to whatever he'd shared with her. A part of her wished she was back east with him and his family, especially since she suspected that his phone call last week, in which he'd casually asked what she doing for the holiday, had been partially to find out if she might be willing to come out to Boston. If it hadn't been for her revealing that she was scheduled to work both Friday and Saturday, she was certain he would have invited her, but she had and he hadn't.

"There you are."

Looking up, Ellie smiled when she saw her cousin Phoenix walking towards her. "Here I am," she said with a shrug.

"Texting Chris again?" her cousin asked, nudging Ellie over so she could sit down on the bench with her.

"How'd you know I was texting Chris?" Ellie asked. She hadn't told her cousin that and she hadn't let her cousin, or anyone else for that matter, look at her phone.

"I can always tell when you've been texting Chris," Phoenix replied, rolling her eyes. "Ever since you got back from Boston, you get this silly little grin on your face when you are reading texts from him."

"How do you know they're texts from Chris?" Ellie prompted. "They could be from some other guy."

"Yeah, but they're not," Phoenix stated. She opened her mouth to say something else, but stopped when Ellie's phone dinged. She watched as her cousin brought the phone up and then saw the telltale grin spread across Ellie's face as she read the message.

Absorbed in Chris's newest text, which included a detailed description of the pie he'd just eaten and how he was trying to convince himself not to have another slice of pie so he wouldn't have to work out for the rest of the weekend, Ellie forgot all about Phoenix's presence until she was blinded by a sudden flash.

"What the!?" she exclaimed, blinking furiously as she tried to recover. Glancing at her cousin, she glared and said, "What was that for?!"

"Photographic evidence," Phoenix replied and turned her own phone around, showing Ellie the photo of herself smiling at her cell phone.

"Oh," Ellie said softly as she stared at the photo. Her cousin was right, she had been grinning as she'd read Chris's message. Her phone went off again and she looked down to see Scott's name. She read his message, but even she knew she wasn't smiling the way she'd smiled at Chris's message.

"So, tell me, favorite cousin of mine, what happened in Boston?" Phoenix asked and then narrowed her eyes. "And don't even try to get out of this conversation again. There is no one and nothing that needs either of our attention for at least the next thirty minutes."

Ellie sighed and raked her fingers through her hair. Phoenix was right, she had been avoiding having this conversation with her cousin, her sisters, everyone really. It wasn't that she was ashamed of what had happened between her and Chris, it was just that she and Chris had left things so open ended. They were taking things slow, which was the wise thing to do since she was in LA and he was back east for the holiday and getting ready to direct his first film.

"Ellie, talk," Phoenix encouraged, placing her hand on Ellie's arm to force her from her thoughts.

So, Ellie did. She told her cousin about her and Chris's first kiss and how it had happened at Fenway Park right after the Red Sox had won the World Series. Then she'd confessed to the fact that she had avoided Chris most of the next day, but how they had cleared the air that evening at a Halloween party and how they'd made out a bit more that night, too.

Much like the confessional she'd had with Chris's sister on Halloween, once Ellie had started talking, she couldn't stop. This time, however, she didn't hold back like she had with Shanna, knowing her friend was Chris's sister and therefore bias. Phoenix, though... Phoenix was her cousin and Ellie trusted her opinion. She expressed her concern over the fact that Chris was her employer, one of her best friends, the guy she liked and the fear that arose in her because of all of those varying relationships she had with him. Not to mention her own friendship and trust-based relationship with his mom; she didn't know how Lisa would feel about her dating Chris.

"Do you like really like Chris?" Phoenix asked, once Ellie finished talking. "I mean elementary school 'like like' like him." They both laughed at her phrasing. "I guess, what I'm asking is do you see yourself having a future with Chris? More kissing? Dating? Sex? Marriage? Babies?"

Ellie gulped at the onslaught of questions. She wasn't sure just how far she saw herself and Chris going; she certainly wasn't ready for marriage and babies, yet. But she had enjoyed kissing him, a lot. And she always had fun when they were together, with or without anyone else. She felt her face redden a bit at the memory of their first meeting and her first, and only, look at his dick. She knew personally that he was a great kisser and she couldn't imagine him being disappointing in bed.

She relayed these thoughts to her cousin, carefully not mentioning the fact that she had already seen Chris naked. As she spoke, she felt some of the fear leave her as she realized that she wanted to take that leap with Chris into the unknown. There was a chance that it would go sideways, but there was also a chance that she had met the man she was supposed to share her life with.

Before she had a chance to relay those thoughts to her cousin, however, they were called to dinner. She followed Phoenix into the dining room and found herself seated between Phoenix and a friend of her aunt's. It was during the usual “get to know you” conversation between herself and the woman, and interruptions from her aunt, that Ellie learned that the woman worked for a small publishing company. It was her aunt who had told her friend that Ellie had studied editing in college and had asked if they were hiring. They weren't, the woman had told them, but she had told them they often contracted work with independent editors.

That evening, when Ellie left her aunt and uncle's house, she had the woman's business card in her hand and a tentative job interview with the publishing company. She also had a more positive outlook on the future for herself and Chris. Over text, she was very open about telling Chris about the possible job and her aunt's busybody methods that had landed her the interview. However, she couldn't bring herself to tell him what she had decided regarding taking a chance with him. It just didn't seem like the kind of conversation to have over the phone when they were going to be thousands of miles apart for at least the next month, if not longer.

Episode 14

Want to find me off tumblr? I’m @beccatheycallme on twitter. I also post my stories on AO3.

My tag list is always open, just let me know if you’d like to be added!

[cancerianprincess]

“Wicked Coronation” (vampire! T’Challa)

Warning(s): None

Recommend Listen/Song Inspo: “Stranger Things” ~ Joyner Lucas & Chris Brown

A/N: This was just a little something I decided to crank out before spooky szn was officially over after being inspired by this photo (which ALL credit for goes to @persephone​ ). Happy Halloween, you guys. Enjoy 👻🧛🏾‍♂️🎃😈

______

“Unbelievable.”

Reyna scoffed as she headed back to her car, shaking her head at the vast level of tardiness her date was displaying tonight. She couldn’t believe that after willingly putting herself out there, he had the nerve to be late.

As a result of listening to her best friend, Talia, Reyna had put on her best outfit, a crimson colored velvet bodycon dress that was to die for, a pair of dazzling single dangle earrings and single matching bangles on each wrist, and her best heels which were a pair of sleek black stilettos that would have any man or woman eating out the palm of her hand. The twist out was on point, matte lipstick was popping, and her glitter red acrylics still looked fresh as can be.

So imagine the amount of irritation Reyna felt bubbling inside her upon realizing she had been stood up while looking like a full course meal.

After be more than courteous enough to wait forty five minutes past the agreed meeting time, Reyna was now heading back to her car while tapping away furiously on her phone.

‘It’s been almost an hour and he didn’t show sooo guess who’s leaving 🙃’

Reyna began fishing through her black clutch while awaiting Talia’s reply, knowing she was hovering over her phone in expectation of every last detail.

Wifey 🤗💋(2)

‘Excuse me 👀 you said what now??’

‘Do I need to make a trip that way?’

A light but warm chuckle escaped Reyna’s lips in response to the ride or die aura her girlfriend was exuberating. “And yet she loves to claim that I’m the crazy one,” Reyna thought to herself.

‘Pipe down girl, it’s all good lol. If he can’t act right then he can certainly get left’

“And he if think shit sweet next time I see him, he got another thing coming.” This time Reyna had spoken out loud, but despite the rhetorical nature she still received an unexpected response.

“Oh, entle,” a baritone voice cut through the dark. “You don’t really mean that, do you?”

Well, partially unexpected response, at least.

Reyna folded her arms across her chest after stopping halfway down the alley just a few feet short of her car. “You’re late.”   

She glared intensely at the man posted up against said vehicle who was dressed in a spotless all black suit, and yet still managed to stand out in contrast to the dark of the night. The first few buttons of the matching onyx dress shirt he donned underneath had been left unfastened, leaving the fabric to hang open exposing his defined pecs ever so slightly. There was a red pocket square in the front of his jacket, and as if to accent the accessory, he held in his hand a single red rose, inhaling its scent right before his eyes cut to his other half.

“Forgive me, my love,” her boyfriend apologized. “I’m afraid I let time get away from me while I was...tying up some loose ends.” He pushed off the Lamborghini to approach Reyna, but for the two steps he took to be in arm’s length of her, she took a step back.

“Uh-uh, T’Challa. Using your ‘voodoo magic’ is not going to get you off the hook for this so don’t even try it,” Reyna reprimanded him. “What ‘loose ends’ were so important that you had to keep me waiting for nearly an hour, on tonight of all nights? It’s not like we have all the time in the world!”

Since the night Reyna had accidentally ended up in the wrong Halloween party to say the least, T’Challa turned rescuing her from a group of savage gargoyles into a tradition of treating Reyna to a night out on the supernatural side of town. In the past four years since that fateful encounter, it was fair to say that the two had fallen for each other, regardless of the vampire/mortal dynamic that frequently posed as a challenge for them. But, nevertheless, Reyna adored her other-worldly beau and accepted him wholeheartedly, fangs and all. If anything, the true nature of his origins fascinated her.

Which is why T’Challa had finally decided on what to grant his lover with as a reward for finishing up graduate school. And what better gift was there than making Reyna a part of his world rather than just a frequent visitor?

“Well, usana, not that I need use of my powers to get you to forgive me, which you and I both know,” T’Challa stated. He quickly stepped in closer perimeter of Reyna before she had the chance to retreat any further, placing the lone flower in her hand.

“But I suppose you have waited long enough for your surprise,” he went on, a devious smirk playing at his lips. In the mere seconds that Reyna had become distracted by the gorgeous creature’s charisma, he had circled around his girlfriend like a vulture as she closed her eyes to sniff the rose.

Burying his face in the crook near Reyna’s collarbone, and running his hands along her amber skin until they were wrapped snugly around her waist, T’Challa spoke seductively into her ear, “Time to get a taste of what we’ve been missing out on.”

And with that, before Reyna even had an opportunity to utter a syllable in protest, T’Challa bore his pearly white fangs, and bit directly down into the right side of her neck.

*******

Whatever pain had hit the new grad student from the chomp in her flesh went away as quickly as it came. The second Reyna felt the teeth sink into her vein she could have guessed correctly what was happening, but of course there was no time to fully analyze the possibility. Because the moment her eyes had snapped open just as fast as they’d clamped shut, Reyna found herself standing in the VIP section of the same forbidden nightclub she’d stumbled into over four years ago.

Perched on the overlook she could see the entire dance floor below packed and lively beneath her feet with every fictional creature one could think of when it came to spooky season. Their forms collided together rhythmically in time with the music blaring through the speakers, while the colored strobe lights flashes different hues of red and purple creating endless shadows against the walls.

Moving closer to the railing, Reyna noticed that her body felt different; that it felt...strange. A good kind of strange. Her chocolate color orbs now glowed the same shade of scarlet as her dress, and all her senses seemed to amplified ten times over, including her ability to easily detect a lingering presence hanging over her shoulder.

“Enticing, isn’t it?” T’Challa asked from behind her. “You see, since the minute we met I detected there was something special about you, however I failed in putting my finger on it right away. Still I longed to know more of you anyway, despite it going against my conventional practices.” He drifted to Reyna’s side, continuing with his thoughts while watching over his subjects along with her.

“But with the passage of time, I was able to uncover at last what it was that inevitably drew me to you.” The demon turned to Reyna, cupping her chin in his grasp to direct all her attention to him.

“It was your passion, Reyna,” T’Challa confessed while staring into her newly colored irises. “Your captivation with the unknown, the way you’re enthralled by mystery; it was in your eyes the first night we met. Instead of turning away from me in fear, you allowed your fascination to learn more about my world guide you. I knew then, that I could trust you to be mine.”

The two were now inches apart, giving the demon leeway to close the gap by pressing his lips to hers. Reyna melted into the kiss, finding herself more attracted to her boyfriend as ever due to his observation of her. She moaned lightly into his mouth, only to let out a slight whimper when he broke away.

“Now done with school, you have no more immediate obligations holding you to the mortal world permanently, but if you still choose to walk away, then I possess a potion that will reverse the bite I gave you if consumed before sunrise,” T’Challa muttered, stroking her cheek with his thumb.

“But, neglect to take it by then, and your days as a mortal will be over.”

The vampire began backtracking slowly to the center seat that served as his throne until seated back upon it with one foot placed across the opposing knee.

“So, what do you say, my love?” His eyes blinked closed briefly, glowing blood red when they opened again as he made his final offer. “Will you join my world? Lead along with me as my equal in ruling over these heathens?”

Reyna stood and thought for a moment, remembering that she owed her good friend details about how the ‘anniversary dinner’ had went once it was finished. Knowing she would get a kick out of spinning this one, she could barely contain the smile spreading across her face.

“Darling,” Reyna started, running her tongue across her freshly obtained fangs while stalking over to her soulmate seductively. “It would be an absolute honor to call you my king.”

But that conversation would have to wait until later, because right now, Reyna was about to become Queen of the Underworld.

~~~~~

~Tags 🖤~

@iamrheaspeaks @princesskillmonger @eriknutinthispoosy @brianabreeze @wheredidallthedreamersgo @halcyonscry @okoyesbabe @mareethequeen @marvelpotterlove @muse-of-mbaku @chaneajoyyy @another-imaginesblog

[fanfics4all]

Not One Of You Anymore: Part 19

Request: Yes / No

Request are open but ONLY if they’re Halloween <3 Have a nice day/night

John Murphy x Griffin!Reader

Word count: 2867

Warnings: Cage being creepy  

Y/N: Your Name

Summary: You weren’t meant to be born but you were so when you were ten your mom and the Chancellor sent you to the ground as a test for the 100

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1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19

Masterlist

(Not my photo, credit to whoever made it!)

John’s POV

It’s been two days since we’ve been to the grounder camp. We were all back at ‘Camp Jaha’ as they called it and no one really wanted me there. I couldn’t blame them but I wanted to find Y/N just as much as her sister did. I had been drinking since we got back because what else was there to do? They weren’t gonna let us go out and try and find our friends by ourselves so I decided to just drink.

“Ah, check it out. Salvaged Monty’s still from the dropship.” I said sitting next to Clarke.

“Now, I guess, you know, if they could just salvage Monty, huh? Heh.” I said trying to lighten the mood but Clarke gave me a look.

“Easy, it was just a joke.” I said and looked at Finn, who also gave me a look.

“Okay. You tell her we’re cleared?” I asked him.

“No.” Finn said.

“Well, looks like our pardon for surviving includes our time on the ground. Now bigger fish to fry, I guess.” I said.

“We did what we had to do.” Finn said and Clarke just looked at him.

“I gotta go.” He said in an annoyed tone and got up.

“Trouble in paradise?” I asked.

“Just because they pardoned you, doesn’t mean I have.” Clarke said.

“Okay. I just want to find Y/N okay?” I said and she just looked at me.

“I don’t know what she sees in you.” She said and I chuckled.

“You and me both.” I said leaning back in the chair.

“Clarke.” Raven said coming up to the table.

“Beat it, Murphy.” She said and got up.

“Well, then, have a good one.” I said and left.

Y/N’S POV

It’s been two days and I wasn’t allowed to leave this room without Cage. I was forced to share a bed with him and if I did comply, which I didn’t the first night, he would call in the guards and have me sedated. There was no use fighting, I wasn’t strong enough. They must have kept me drugged or something because I was weaker than normal. I wouldn’t have been able to fight off Cage in the first place but he still had me sedated just in case. I quickly learned that he had a thing for me. He wouldn’t let me see my friends unless it was at a meal, he wouldn’t let me talk to anyone (besides my friends at a meal), he would always keep his hand on my waist when we were walking together, and he would kiss my cheek and neck while I was laying next to him. I think he would even try to do things with me but I wasn’t a 100% sure. I was scared. For the first time since I was ten I was scared. Cage was out of the room and I was stuck in here with the art supplies. I was painting the outside world, but not anything that would tell them where more of my people were. When I couldn’t paint anymore because the colors were drying I went to sketching. I would sketch anything I could think of, but it always went back to John… The sketchbook I was given was mostly drawings of him. I missed him, yet, I hardly knew him.

Lexa’s POV

One of the Sky people gunned down people in one of our villages. We had two of their people locked up. I was to make a decision on what to do with them, but I wanted to observe them first. I would go undercover in their cell to see how they acted, that is what we were doing right now. I was dressed as a normal person, they would see me as a weak young girl. Some of my men went in and they grabbed one of them and started punching him.

“Stop. We came in peace.” The other said but they didn’t stop.

“We came in peace. Please!” He shouted and they lifted him up. I was in the back acting scared by these actions. I was holding a pitcher of water to give to them, but only when I was “ordered” to. Gustus looked at me and gave me a nod to pour the water. I pretend to limp closer to them to pour the water.

“You speak of peace, while you send an assassin into one of my villages.” Gustus said.

“What are you talking about?” One of the men asked.

“Blood. Must have blood.” Gustus said to the two and he pulled out a knife.

“On of you will die here today, but the other’s hand. I will hear the terms of your surrender, from the man who lives.” He said and dropped the knife.

“Comgets osir when em’s odon.” (Fetch us when it’s done) He said to me and I gave a small nod to keep up the act. After that they left. The two men sat against the wall of the cell and started at the knife.

“They want us to turn on each other.” One of them said.

“They want justice.” I said and they looked at me. Even though I wasn’t facing them, I could feel them looking at me.

“Lives have been lost on both sides.” The other growled and I looked at him.

“That’s why we need to end this war!” He shouted and slammed his jacket on the ground. I flinched to make it seem like I was weak. The other one got up and walked over to me, I pretended to be scared. He crouched down to my level and I looked away.

“What’s your name?” He asked.

“Lexa.” I answered not looking at him.

“Lexa. I’m Thelonious. This is Marcus.” He said and I looked at him.

“Your Commander spoke of an assassin in a village.” He said.

“Yes. Eighteen of our people were murdered. Elders. Children.” I said and he looked at Marcus.

“We had nothing to do with that.” Marcus said.

“It doesn’t matter. The Commander thinks you did. One of you must pick up the knife. That is our way.” I said.

“And if we refuse?” Thelonious asked.

“Then the Commander will use it to slit both of your throats.” I answered and he nodded.

Y/N’s POV

Cage had come back and told me that Jasper was out of the hospital wing. He told me Maya was okay as well. I was happy that he was okay and I really wanted to go see him.

“Can I go see him?” I asked and he shook his head.

“No, I’m sorry.” He said and I frowned.

“Why?” I asked annoyed.

“Because, you’re my special girl.” He said with a smile and brushed my hair away from my neck.

“W-what?” I asked and cursed myself for letting fear be in my voice.

“No need to be afraid Y/N, I just don’t want anyone to corrupt you. You’re mine.” He said and he placed his lips on mine. My eyes widened and I tried to push him off me but he grabbed my wrist and kept my hands planted on his chest.

“We’ll be together till the end, Y/N.” He said when he pulled away and I just smiled trying not to look scared out of my mind. I didn’t want to die and I wasn’t strong enough to fight anyone off. They were definitely keeping me weak.

“I have to go, I’ll come back when it’s dinner time.” He said and I nodded with a smile.

“Okay…” I said and he kissed me again, then left.

Monty’s POV

Jasper gathered all of us in our room and started talking about how we needed to help these people. All of us were against it, none of us wanted to go through puking for three days like he did. He told us that they said the procedure wouldn’t have that happen. That he was a special case. No one wanted to help him.

“Come on. They gave us cake. I got a sign-up sheet. If you’d-” He said but cut himself off since everyone else left.

“What are you doing?” I asked.

“What?” He asked

“When did you start working for them?” I asked and he rolled his eyes.

“You know what? Never mind. Now that you’re better, we’re going after Clarke.” I said and Maya walked in.

“Of course, right on time.” I said annoyed.

“Hey guys. Jasper, I’m so glad to see you’re feeling better.” She said with a smile but held up a notebook that said ‘ACT NORMAL. THEY’RE LISTENINg!!!!’

“Thanks, I am.” Jasper said and she turned the page. It said ‘THE BREACH WASN’T AN ACCIDENT! FOLLOW ME!’.

“You look, um, rested.” Jasper said.

“Hey, it’s pizza day. Heh. Who’s hungry?” She said and walked out of the room. We followed her to a large room.

“We don’t have much time, but we can talk freely here.” Maya said.

“What the hell is going on?” Jasper asked and she started crying.

“Maya?” He asked.

“I’m sorry.” She said.

“About what? What do you mean it wasn’t an accident?” He asked.

“She means they exposed her to radiation on purpose. I’m betting it was to get you to agree to be her blood brother.” I said with an annoyed tone. Maya nodded.

“I knew it. Clarke was right.” I said.

“Monty, be quiet.” Jasper said.

“Did you know about this?” He asked.

“No.” She said shaking her head.

“Why would they do that to you?” He asked.

“Because the standard treatment sucks compared to you.” She answered.

“That’s what Dante said.” Jasper said.

“What’s the standard treatment?” I asked.

“Through there.” She said pointing behind her. She walked and we followed her to a vent. We looked in and saw cages of people, Grounders.

“Oh my God…” Jasper said shocked.

“Are those all Grounders?” He asked.

“Wait a second. Why are you showing us this?” I asked Maya.

“Because I’m afraid.” She said.

“Of what?” Jasper asked.

“That you’re next.” She said.

“Who else knows about this?” He asked.

“Everyone. Nobody talks about it. We learn not to ask questions. Look, without the treatments, we’d die. What are we supposed to do?” She asked.

“Die.” I said and turned around.

“We have to get out of here. Dante said we could leave right?” I asked.

“He was lying. He knew I’d be too scared to leave. Just like he knew I’d do what had to be done to save Maya.” Jasper said.

“So we don’t ask. If Clarke got out, we can too.” I said.

“You’ll never make it. Ever since Clarke disappeared, security all around the mountain has been increased.” Maya said.

“We have to try.” I said.

“Look we’re not leaving. I won’t leave the others behind.” Jasper said and I sighed a little.

“Not if it means they end up in there.” He said pointing to the vent.

“What choice do we have?” I asked.

“We volunteer.” He said.

Lexa’s POV

The to men still haven’t picked up the knife and killed one. They didn’t want to, but they had to. Blood must have blood.

“This has gone on long enough. There has to be some other way to resolve this. Something we haven’t thought of yet.” Thelonious said.

“There isn’t.” I said.

“She’s right. They’re not budging.” Marcus said.

“We can offer a trade. These people are primitive. I’ve seen how they live. Our technology, our medicine. All we’d ask for in return is peace.” Thelonious said.

“If we truly want peace, they told us how to get it.” Marcus said.

“Through murder?” Thelonious asked.

“Through sacrifice.” Marcus said. He understood, parlty. He got up and picked up the knife.

“Marcus, what are you doing?” Thelonious asked.

“If we don’t make a choice, then we’ll both die.” He said then looked at me.

“And the killing won’t end.” He added and stood up facing Thelonious.

“There’s only one way out of this.” He said and walked towards Thelonious. He held the knife up to him for him to take.

“You have to kill me.” He said and I was a little shocked.

“You have to do this. It’s our only choice.” He said.

“Kane, no.” Thelonious said.

“They respect strength. Let’s show them ours.” Marcus said.

“I said, no.” Thelonious said and I watched the two men.

“You did not order the massacre.” Thelonious said.

“Not that one.” Marcus said.

“Marcus, you don’t need redemption. The choice we made on the Ark was about survival. We did what we had to so that the human race could survive.” Thelonious said.

“The human race was already surviving.” Marcus said.

“Then we did it for our people.” Thelonious said.

“Yes, and now we must do this. It’s the only way.” Marcus said.

“Not gonna happen.” Thelonious said. There was a long pause and the men just looked at each other.

“You’re a good man, Thelonious. I won’t let you die for me.” Marcus said. Marcus took the knife and sliced his own arm.

“Marcus, no!” Thelonious said and grabbed the deep cut. He put the man on the ground and the knife was out of his hand.

“Come on. Help us, please. Please.” Thelonious said to me. I ripped off a piece of cloth and handed it to him.

“Thank you.” He said and wrapped up the other man’s arm.

“I told you, we didn’t come all this way to die.” He said and finished wrapping the man’s arm. He grabbed the knife and then me. He held the knife to my throat.

“Thelonious, no.” Marcus said.

“I choose to live.” Thelonious said. My four men walked in

“Take off these chains.” Thelonious ordered them.

“Thelonious, please. She’s just an innocent girl.” Marcus said getting up

“Em don sad klin. Disha won’s ain” (He made his choice. This one’s mine.) I said. I punched Thelonious in the face, knocked him to the ground, grabbed the knife, and held it to his throat.

“Okay…” He breathed. I looked up at Marcus and he started at me shocked. I got up and turned to my men.

“Ai don sen in chit bilaik ai gaf sen in.” (I’ve heard what I needed to hear.) I said and my men bowed.

“Yedn, Heda.” (Yes, Commander) They said. One of them took the knife and Gustus game me my armor.

“You’re the Commander?” Marcus asked.

“I’ve learned much about you. It’s clear your intentions are honorable. Your desire for peace is true.” I said and he nodded.

“Breik em au.” (Free him.) I ordered and they did.

“Later we will talk. In the meantime, your friend will be used to send a message.” I said and looked down at Thelonious.

“No.” Marcus said. Two of them started beating Thelonious while the another grabbed Marcus.

“No, stop! Stop! Stop, please!” Marcus begged. They lifted him up and out of the cell.

“The massacre must be answered. Blood must have blood.” I said. They would know to leave our territory.

Y/N’s POV

Cage returned when it was time for dinner as promised. I looked around but saw that a lot of my friends weren’t here. I looked up at Cage and he smiled at me.

“Where’s all my friends?” I asked worried.

“They volunteered to help with treatment.” He answered and I nodded.

“Don’t worry, they’ll be alright.” He said and kissed my cheek.

“Go on and be with your friends and eat.” He said and I nodded again. I sat next to Jasper and he smiled.

“Is everyone okay?” I asked and he nodded.

“Yeah, we’re just helping everyone out.” He said with a smile.

“You should too.” He added and I shrugged.

“I don’t think Cage would let me…” I said and looked down.

“He wants me to be his…” I said quietly and Jasper looked at me shocked.

“Can’t you fight him off?” He asked worried and I shook my head.

“No… I think he’s drugging me and keeping me weak, I don’t know how.” I said and Jasper sighed.

“Don’t worry, we’ll get you out of here.” He whispered and I nodded.

Monty’s POV

After the treatment we went back to our room. Jasper came in a turned the music up so they wouldn’t hear us when we talked. He came over and sat near us.

“Okay, it’s safe to talk.” He said.

“We bought ourselves some time. But we need to recruit the others. Only people we trust.” He said.

“How much more time are we buying here exactly?” Miller asked.

“Long enough for Clarke to break us out.” I said.

“We don’t even know if Clarke’s still alive.” Harper said.

“She has to be.” Jasper said.

“Then she better hurry the hell up.” Miller said and we all nodded.

“I saw Y/N, she said Cage was drugging her. She said he wants her to himself. She scared.” Jasper told us.

“Y/N, the Grounder girl is scared?” Miller asked.

“She can’t fight, they’re keeping her weak.” Jasper said and I looked at him worried.

“Clarke really better hurry then.” I said and everyone nodded.

Tag list: @theschuylersistersss @iamaunicorn4704 @sarasmismyonlydefence @riverdalehoeeeeeee @imaginehuntress @tiannawashere @teenwolfbitches2 @mockinghijack @genius2050 @les-bio-lie @tashy-bear @xrosesareredx @herokyolachan @ashwarren32 @hollie-blogs @schisbro87 @lover-of-books-and-teas @nerdygaloresposts @alex--awesome--22 @teenwolfbitches2  @nadiagazecka  @emo-godess-loves-you

[spirit-of-the-void]

Connor rk800 x Reader (Halloween Party!)

AN: *me reading the notes* glad to see people are just as thirsty for the android as I am, guess I have to make a part two lmao

Summary: An annual Halloween party is being held at the reader’s house for those in the office not stuck working for the best day of the year. Connor, of course, is expected to go and dress up. Just some random Connor x Reader fluff for you all, possible smut next part!

Part 2

“Get a move on, Connor!” Hank called impatiently as he walked toward the ridiculously decorated store front, “Jeez, usually you’re so eager to follow me everywhere!”

Connor sighed, removing himself from the vehicle with an uneasy look at the store. It was a seasonal thing, one that only appeared at the beginning of September and was gone by November first. Skeletons climbed the Halloween related name and various displays were seen in the store front. He knew for a fact that you would have loved to come there and browse--it was a shame you were busy with errands related to the party.

Connor himself saw this task with a grim determination. He desperately wished to not disappoint you. He wanted to meet your standards with this, despite Hank claiming vehemently that there were no standards. This was Connor’s first celebrated Halloween, and he was torn between taking it as seriously as his instinct demanded, or just...having fun with it. He knew you wanted the latter, so he would try to make an effort.

Connor adjusted his tie, a nervous habit, and followed Hank into the Halloween store. They were immediately assaulted with eerie laughing and cackling, lighting flashing from a corner with moving displays. Connor could smell plastic and latex, various chemicals made for flog machines and the facial makeup required for the holiday. He took a moment to scan, noting various “spooky” signs, costumes, and other Halloween-esque trinkets. And candy. Good lord, how much candy did the expect human children to consume in one night?

Hank saw the hesitant look on his face, patting him hard on the back, “How about you try on a few costumes and see which one you want to go with your vampire shit?” When Connor nodded, Hank let out a sigh, “Try not to be so uptight, kid. Have a little fun with it!”

“I will...certainly try,” Connor replied with a tilt of his head, watching as Hank shuffled over to the fake fangs and face makeup, grumbling all the way. Connor himself felt no ill will toward the holiday, but...his nervousness about how he would present himself to you was making it quite challenging. Not that he blamed you, it wasn’t your fault he was so, as Hank put it once, smitten with you. He just...felt things for you, and he wanted to be as mysterious and sexy as you claimed vampires were.

So he thumbed through the clothing racks, looking at costume after costume. He found himself smirking at some, and the more he looked the more he relaxed. He found enjoyment seeing all the ridiculous things people were willing to wear for the thirty first. Fun could be found in this, he decided, in the playing pretend. Werewolves, wizards, naughty nurses...just about naughty everything. If there was an occupation, there was a “naughty” version of it for woman. How very sexist. Although, he did find a very not safe for work male cop outfit, which consisted of only an officers cap, cuffs, and booty shorts. That had him chuckling a bit.

He paused, pulling the outfit off the rack and snapping a quick picture, mentally sending it to your phone with the words, “On a scale of one to ten, how pissed would Gavin be if i sent him this with a note saying ‘ here is your Halloween costume?’”

He had no sooner put the ridiculous article of clothing back when you sent your reply.

‘Connor, sweetie, as funny as that is, i value your life way too much to let you do that lol’

He smiled, enjoying your use of the word “Sweetie” far too much for his own good. Before his inner mechanisms could start overheating he picked out a few things from the rack, heading to the dressing room to try them on. Just as he closed the door to the small room he saw Hank walk up and sit on a nearby stool to wait for him to come out. Connor would happily admit that a few of these costume choices were outright silly, but damn it they wanted him to have fun so he would.

First costume he came out in was the most ridiculous one, and he thoroughly enjoyed Hank’s look of shock and sharp wheeze of a laugh.

“Oh my god, kid,” He sounded like he was choking on his own breath--he coughed quite a few times before continuing, “I would never in a million years let you into polite society looking that stupid.”

Connor smiled crookedly, seeing the bright red fabric of the crab costume in the mirror and shrugging once, “Are you certain, Hank? A vampire crab is quite unique.”

Hank groaned in pure agony, resting his head on his hands, “Connor...”

“You’re sounding a bit crabby, lieutenant, are you sure you’re alright?”

Hank groaned so loudly Connor was sure the whole store heard it.

~ ~ ~

“Oh no, boy-toy must be messaging you.”

You were sitting cross-legged on a stool in your kitchen with Chris and Kelsey, two other officers from the station. You had paused for a moment in decorating cupcakes to read a text, feeling your face light up at the sight of Connor’s name with a little dog emoji next to it pop up. Every time he messaged you it made your heart pound like a caged bird searching for release. It was silly, you knew that, but your attachment and feelings for Connor had grown so genuine it was almost embarrassing.

You stuck your tongue out at Chris, “His name is Connor, Chris, and he isn’t a toy.”

Chris was grinning, slowly trying to decorate a cupcake to make it look like a mummy, “Yeah but when I use the ‘crush’ word or the ‘lover’ word you turn bright red.”

Sure enough, both those terms caused your cheeks to flush, making the two laugh. You just couldn’t help it, thinking of Connor in a romantic way...your body betrayed you every time.Even in front of Connor sometimes you had to play off flushed cheeks and a racing heartbeat in one way or another.

“Shut your faces,” You hiss, waving a tube of frosting threateningly, “I’m armed and I’m not afraid to use it.”

Kelsey giggled, wiping a bit of frosting onto your face, “Oh come on, there’s no reason to be embarrassed. It’s adorable, we’ve all had crushes.”

You duck down a little, staring down at the cupcakes before you as you mutter, “It’s more than a crush you heathens.” And you weren’t lying--you had never felt this way about anyone ever. It was so overwhelming it was almost hard to tolerate in every day life. A crush could be ignored, a crush could be handled. What you couldn’t handle was the urge to kiss Connor’s mouth every time you saw him.

You saw both of them soften their expressions considerably, Chris giving you a comforting pat on the head as he replied, “Be that as it may, we’re still allowed to tease you. You two have been flirting for months now and we all reached a point where we couldn’t take it anymore,” He rolled his eyes, “I don’t know who’s more oblivious, you or him.”

“I’d say him,” Kelsey said with a smirk, setting about making another batch of frosting, “His poor little android brain can’t handle how gorgeous you are, (Y/N).”

You bit your lip a little, a nervous habit. Part of you was really hoping they were right. You wanted Connor to share your feelings so badly you couldn’t stand it. Most times when you felt romantic affection towards someone who you were unsure felt the same way, you squashed those feelings before they grew. But with Connor...they grew. They grew and grew until you had no control over it.

And it wasn’t just how handsome he was. Seeing him take care of stray dogs, listening to him talk about the mechanisms of androids and the concept of androids feeling emotion...you loved all of it. You looked forward to seeing him every day. His crooked smirk sucker-punched you in the gut each time he showed you it, and those puppy-dog eyes...

You sank down in your chair, looking at the text and opening the picture attached before your friends noticed you getting flustered again. What you saw made you cackle aloud anyway, making the two look at you in confusion.

In the picture was Connor in a crab costume, smirking with Hank sitting with his head in his hands in the background. The message included? “Hank seems a bit crabby today.”

Oh no, you bit your lip and smiled what you knew was a dopey grin--he was charming your socks off, you couldn’t help it. He looked bright eyed and adorable in the plush costume, and you were glad to see he was having a good time. Connor was such an unbelievable dork, and that very fact made your heart start pounding again. You loved that about him.

“Oh no,” Chris groaned, “We lost her again. What did robocop send you this time?”

You giggled hysterically, holding up the photo for the two to see. Kelsey looked like she was about to die.

“Oh my god, can i have that framed and put up in the office?” She wheezed, holding her sides, “Just for Hank in the background. That poor man, it’s killing me.”

You laughed, holding your phone out of reach of the two, “No way, this treasure is mine!”

While they complained in various ways, you typed out a swift reply, cheeks warm as you did so.

“Oh my god, Connor have I ever told you what an absolute dork you are? Gotta say I approve <3″

The heart emoji felt strangely risky to you, which was silly and childish to think about. Letting out a light sigh, you pocketed your phone before you could get distracted again, taking a quick look out into your living room. You’d happily admit you’d gone all out. Creepy lights, cobwebs, skeletons...this holiday was practically the only one you enjoyed due to having no family.

When you were with the people at the station that cared about you...it felt like family.

Chris saw the dreamy look on your face and sighed again, “Oh good god, she’s spacing again. We seriously need to get you laid, (Y/N).”

If you had been drinking something, you would have spit it out.

Kelsey giggled at your flustered look, an evil twinkle in her eyes, “Isn’t that where this night was going? What better way to have Halloween? Confess your love, get that good android di--”

“Gah!” You covered your ears, face flushed so warm you were sure you were on fire, “Stop! There’s no way Connor would ever want to do that...!”

Chris let out a low rumble of laughter, sounding almost sinister, “When he gets a load of those thigh highs you have planned and that butt snuggled in those shorts--”

Kelsey interjected, “Ew, when you talk like that you sound as thirsty as Gavin...!”

“Sorry sorry,” Chris laughed, “I just know she’s going to be a snack.”

You placed your head in your hands, feeling how warm your cheeks were from blushing. You weren’t deep enough in denial to say you hadn’t thought about it, hell half the reason you chose to dress that way was...well...to see how he reacted. It was easy to flirt and appear confident on your exterior, but this in reality made you jittery and nervous. You wanted things to work out with Connor, you wanted validation in a way.

Could Connor feel those attractions toward you? God, you hoped so.

“Look at that thirsty expression,” Kelsey tsked, “Girl you’ve got it bad.”

“I’m...not thirsty...” You muttered, not sounding convincing in the slightest.

Chris chuckled, finishing up the last cupcake with a satisfied look, “Do we even know if Connor has a dick?”

“Oh my god--” You started to groan.

“He has a tongue and ten fingers that aren’t broken,” Kelsey interjected with a shrug.

“Oh my god...!” You squeaked, “Kelsey!”

“What? Dicks aren't everything.”

The two dissolved into cackles, and you resisted hitting your head on the counter to clear your thoughts. This is why it was so hard to stay composed around Connor, these two were bad for your thought process in every way. Lusting for the oblivious boy was so not where you wanted to head with your  feelings, but it didn’t take very long. He was just....so much. of everything. Not to mention you in general had been comfortable in your sexuality. But with Connor, the added feelings of romance were somehow more flustering.

As if on cue, your phone went off again, and you quickly pulled it out. Sure enough, his familiar name was in your notifications. You wasted no time opening his message, a bit disappointed to see no picture this time, but his words made your heart pound.

“You’ll be happy to know, I had quite a bit of fun today. Hank and I also managed to settle on an outfit for me. I will keep it a secret for now...But I can’t wait to see what you think. See you tomorrow evening, (Y/N).”

You held the phone to your chest, biting your lip with anticipation. How the hell were you going to wait a whole day to see what he had picked out for his vampire theme? God, maybe you were as thirsty as they said?

Either way, maybe that whole day was enough to gain some semblance of composure.

AK: I hope yall caught the funny ass crab suit reference i made ;) I have big plans for the next part

Tagged: @bethanystan

[bendywackyadventures]

BATIM SOL AU-Feast

I know in my past post I said I was going to take a break from posting stories on here due to some stuff going on Tumblr, but I’m seeing less and less of it now. Also this is a Thanksgiving Story! 

Happy Thanksgiving you guys!!!

Henry and Linda were taking the toons on another road trip. The toons were excited over the trip, however it wasn’t a short trip they were going to be gone for a while to celebrate Thanksgiving over at Henry’s mother’s house. The toons were confused as they never heard or celebrated Thanksgiving before. Joey never mentioned it to them, but they were curious over the holiday.

“Mom?” Alice asked. Linda turned to face her daughter, “what’s Thanksgiving?”

Linda chuckled, “I think it would be your favorite holiday besides Halloween.”

“Why?” Bendy asked.

“Well,” Henry started. “Thanksgiving is a holiday where family and friends gather together and we eat a huge dinner.”

This got the attention of Bendy and Boris, “how huge?” The wolf asked.

Henry chuckled, “well there’s turkey, mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce, and pumpkin pie are the main courses.” Boris and Bendy were drooling over the thought of food. Alice got disgusted and lifted her feat up incase any drool got on her shoes. “My mom goes overboard for Thanksgiving besides the food I mentioned my mom makes the best bread and pastries for dessert, salad, vegetables,” Henry stopped when he heard the little devil darling gagging.

Bendy stopped when he felt Henry’s glare from the backseat, “sorry Henry, but no way your putting a vegetable on my plate. All it is going to be loaded is turkey and pie.” Bendy replied.

“Well like it or not my mom is strict on those who didn’t eat vegetables. Trust me.” Henry remembered his childhood with Joey when they didn’t eat their vegetables they couldn’t leave the table or their sketchbooks were confiscated. Though the two got used to it after a while.

The drive was smooth after their talk, the toons all slept in the backseat and Linda was looking out the window. To her surprise not a sight of traffic anywhere, though she wouldn’t say it, she didn’t want to jinx the trip.

By sundown the Stein family finally made it to Henry’s house. It was in a small neighborhood, almost like Henry’s except there weren’t any houses that had stairs, all of them were small or one-story houses. Henry got out of his car and he smiled when an elderly man and woman came out.

“Henry!” The woman called out. The toons looked through the car; they looked at each other realizing this was Henry’s mother. The woman hugged her son tightly almost squeezing the life out of him.

“Ma…crushing…me…can’t breathe.” Henry struggled.

“Molly! Sweetie.” Linda stepped in. “Your crushing my husband.”

“Oh.” Molly let go letting Henry breathe, “thanks for reminding me.”

Linda smiled hugging her mother-in-law “Hi Mrs. Stein.” Linda introduced. Molly smiled and hugged Linda back.

“Linda long time, no see.” Molly replied.

Linda smiled, “so glad to see you again Molly.”

Linda let go of the hug and opened the car door, “Henry and I brought someone over, please don’t get mad, or scared, or anything.” Linda smiled and motioned the toons to come out.

Bendy, Boris and Alice came out of the car nervous over what Henry’s mother would think. To their surprise Molly didn’t scream and pass out like in the past. She was speechless over seeing the live toons.

“Hello.” Bendy waved.

“Mom. This is Bendy, Boris and Alice.” Henry introduced. “The toons from the cartoons.”

Molly walked close to the toons looking at them closely one by one. Molly touched Bendy’s cheek making the toon giggle. “Your. Real?”

“Of course.”

Molly started to chuckle. “H-How? How are-“

“Joey.” Henry interrupted.

Everyone went inside as Henry told his mother the story of what he went through in the studio. That he went through a series of his former co-workers attacking him, Bendy turned into a beast, and meeting up with the two hero toons, Allison Angel and Tom.

The toons were quiet throughout the story, remembering everything they suffered. Molly was horrified, and looked at the toons. “Is that true?” Molly asked. The toons slowly nodded.

Bendy sighed and faced Henry’s mother, “Mrs. Stein! I’m sorry for hurting your son! I-I didn’t mean to! Joey made me! He told me lies, and that Henry was the bad guy. I-I didn’t mean too. I’m sorry.” Bendy cried.

Molly walked over to the toon, and put her hand on the toon’s cheek wiping the inky tear. “I forgive you Bendy. I know you didn’t mean it.” Bendy sniffled and wiped the tears from his eye.

“But. I almost killed your son.”

Molly sighed and hugged Bendy, “but you regret it? Right?” Bendy nodded slowly, “and I know its mostly Joey’s fault.” Bendy gave a small smile agreeing with Molly.

“T-true.” He stuttered.

Molly hugged her grandson figure showing bygones were bygones. For the rest of the day everyone relaxed and listening to music on the radio. Molly and Linda talked as Henry led the toons up to the room he and Joey used to share.

“Here it is.” Henry announced opening the door to his childhood room. Everything was kept the way it was, except there were new bed sheets for the toons so they can sleep.

“We’re sleeping here?” Bendy asked. Henry nodded. Bendy looked around the room and sat down on the bed on the right side of the room. “This bed is comfy,” he then turned and saw drawings on the walls.

The drawings were smiles, squiggles, and two boys that said, Henry and me!

Bendy gulped; he remembered hearing from Henry that Joey lived with him during their childhood. “Were these Joey’s drawings?”

Henry nodded, “yep. Most are mine too, Joey and I did this as a past time or when there was no paper around.” He explained.

“And did you get in trouble?” Bendy asked.

Henry shook his head Bendy glared knowing he did the same thing and Linda scolded him for drawing on the walls. “Times we’re different Bendy.” Henry replied. Bendy smiled, and relaxed on Joey’s former bed.

“So when’s Thanksgiving? I’m hungry!” Boris exclaimed sitting down next to Bendy.

Henry chuckled, “tomorrow.”

“Aww…” The toons sighed.

“Don’t worry tomorrow it would be worth it, and you can help us out.” Alice gasped. Alice loved to help others and she was more excited to volunteer.

“I’ll volunteer!” Alice cheered.

Henry chuckled and ruffled his daughter’s hair, “Alright, mom and I got a helper!” Henry cheered. Alice chuckled and hugged her father tight in glee.

The family had dinner, and then vanilla ice cream for dessert. After that everyone sat down and watched TV movies. After the movie was over, Bendy was just about to get ready for bed before he saw some photos on the wall and on the shelf.

The photos included Molly’s wedding photo with Henry’s father, a family portrait and another family portrait with Joey. What made Bendy more shocked was there were more photos of Joey with the Stein family during their youth. One that made Bendy glared was the studio being built with Henry and Joey smiling, not know those smiles would turn to hatred glares.

The demon sighed as she saw another photo right next to it. Bendy grabbed the photo from the shelf. It was a Christmas photo with Molly and a man, which would be Henry’s father along with a 7-year old Henry and to his surprise 7-year old Joey who looked shy in the photo.

Molly walked up to the toon and chuckled, “I see you found an old family photo.” Bendy turned around and surprised to see Molly.

“Yeah. I was curious.” He paused a bit to look at the young Joey Drew. From what Henry told him, Joey was a shy, quiet young boy. Not the manipulative, greedy backstabbing murder Bendy grew to know. “What happened with Joey? What made him so…mean?”

Molly sighed, she wondered that herself. She remembered the day Henry and Joey left together to start their studio. Both were excited and celebrated, but within two weeks she noticed the changes. Henry would call her complaining about how Joey was keeping him from work and not being with Linda, who was his girlfriend at the time. When she called Joey asking what was going on, Joey would lie and said everything was fine that it was stressful running a business.

Molly wished she talked to her two boys and hoping to knock some sense into Joey, but they were adults she thought they would handle their situation like adults, but to her she needed to push herself and talked them. Now hearing from Henry what happened, she had some guilt in her.

“I always thought of that myself Bendy. But the truth is, I wish I could of talked to Joey face to face, maybe none of this could of happened.” Molly sighed looking at the shy boy she took in, “they were adults. I couldn’t step in and treat them like babies.”

Bendy put his hand around his grandmother and hugged it. “It wasn’t your fault. Henry didn’t know. I didn’t know. None of us didn’t know what would have been the outcome,” Bendy explained.

Molly nodded in reply. She hugged the demon and led him to bed.

The next morning was Thanksgiving Day, the toons and Henry had their eyes glued to the TV watching the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. During the songs and performances Alice and Bendy danced and sing giving a performance to Henry and Boris. During the parade, Alice was called up to do some work around the kitchen.

Boris and Bendy smelled the turkey in the oven licking their lips over the food. Bendy and Boris took turns looking in the kitchen seeing mashed potatoes and everything all on the table.

“That looks delicious!” Bendy beamed.

Linda chuckled as she and Alice set the table, “remember Bendy when everything is ready and were seated we can all start eating.”

“I know. I know.” Bendy and Boris replied. They retreated back into the living room as Henry grabbed a box and brought it to the couch.

“You two want to see some more family photos before dinner?” The toons nodded and ran to the couch. Ever since Henry showed them photos during that rainy day, it’s been a fun past time for the toons to look at photos of Henry and Linda, and even learning how they were in the past.

Bendy and Boris chuckled seeing Henry’s baby pictures. Henry blushed in embarrassment over the baby photo; he quickly grabbed it and put back in the box. They’ve been looking at photos for a solid hour, “Boys.” Alice called out.

“Dinner is ready!” Linda added. In a split second, Bendy and Boris ran towards the kitchen and sat down at the table looking at all the food.

“This looks amazing!” Bendy drooled.

“I want to eat now!” Boris exclaimed. The two were about to be wild animals during feeding time at the zoo.

“Wait!” Linda and Alice yelled. “Everyone needs to be seated first before we can start eating.” Linda explained. Boris and Bendy sighed, as Henry chuckled sitting next to his wife. Alice and Molly too took their seats. “Okay now we can eat.”

The toons smiled and started to fill their plates with food. Henry however was serving the turkey so they had to wait for their creator to carve the turkey. Once they got their food they started to chow down.

“I’m stuffed.” Bendy groaned before letting out a loud burp.

Boris chuckled, “Same here.” He then replied with a burp too.

Alice felt disgusted over what he brothers were doing, groaning and face palming. “Boys, be polite.” Linda whispered scolding her sons. Linda heard another burp and turned to Henry covering his mouth, “Henry!”

“Sorry.” Henry replied. Everyone at the table laughed. Linda, Henry and Molly washed the dishes and Boris and Alice put them away. Bendy set up the table again for pumpkin pie for dessert. When no one was looking he grabbed the whip cream can and sprayed whip cream into his mouth.

“I saw that.” Bendy turned to see Henry smirking at the demon. The demon swallowed the whip cream and chuckled. Henry held his hand out for Bendy to give him the whip cream. The demon sighed and handed the can over to his father, but Bendy was surprised when he saw Henry take some whip cream and put it in his mouth too.

Bendy chuckled seeing his father, “What? Can I be a child sometimes?”

“No!” Molly and Linda scolded. The two guys turned around seeing Linda and Molly glaring. Henry and Bendy chuckled as the former handed his wife the whip cream can. Linda snatched it and put held on to it till the group had their pie.

After pumpkin pie, the toons were now getting ready for bed. Coming into the room, they saw Henry drawing with crayons on the wall. Looking at each other, the three walked over to Henry.

“What are you drawing, Henry?” Bendy asked as he and the toons came into Henry’s old room.

Henry chuckled and moved a bit to show the toons what he drew on the walls. The toons were awestruck over the drawing it was them with Henry smiling together over a rainbow. “Aww! Henry! Its beautiful!” Alice beamed. Henry smiled and chuckled.

Bendy smiled almost tearing up at the drawing. He turned to his creator squealing in joy over the drawing, then tackled hug Henry. Henry chuckled and hugged the toon back, “you’re welcome Bendy.” He replied.

The toons got to bed as Henry tucked them in giving them a kiss on the forehead, and shutting the lights off.

[rustandruin]

🌸🌼 I think this fandom could do with some positivity so if you want to, why dont you pick 3 (or more) people that you dont normally talk to or havent talked to in a while and tell me one thing you like about them? Or if you feel uneasy about talking to new people just pick people you know better :) Then send this message to at least 5 other blogs that you like to keep this game up! 🌼🌸

Hey Lucy! 

Sorry it’s taken me forever to get to this lovely ask. It’s just my ask answering anxiety was at an all-time high. First up, I just want to say that I’ve had a lovely fandom experience and that everyone I talk to (including you!) or have talked to has been really fun and a complete blast, but I want to showcase the folk down below because they’ve all enriched my life a little extra. 

Under a cut to spare you all my emotional ramblings. Apologies to anyone on mobile. 

@omarandjohnny Jonathan continues to be a complete and utter inspiration. He’s so insanely positive and supportive while continuing to love Halloween and monsters at a full 100%. It reminds me that growing up doesn’t mean leaving behind these things that I’ve loved all my life.  

@howellobrien Life can be shitty and your brain can be hard on you, but Holly is just out here spreading joy and positivity as much as she can, which is really how it should work. 

@searhythm I wouldn’t have really even begun to start writing, let alone contributing to fandom if it wasn’t for Mow’s spectacular energy. She’s given me the gift of confidence, laughter, dog photos, and perhaps, most importantly, encouraging me to be easier on myself, which, I really am not. I’m going to make you write that fic you’ve planned if it’s the last thing I do, because we all deserve that kind of goodness in our lives. (She’s also the reason why I spell rhythm correctly now.)

@blondhairedking Gemma is an utter ball of sunshine who doesn’t realise how talented she is, and I’m perfectly happy to volunteer as tribute to make that happen whenever she needs because the world needs more people like that. 

@getyourfaceoutofmyface Shauna has such a remarkably positive energy. I’m so excited to get to know her and read more of her writing. If you need someone to pick you up when your brain is at it’s most finicky, may I suggest her? Because my goodness is she one hell of a cheerleader. 

@robronsnuggles My amazing big bang artist. I’m eternally grateful they chose me but that they’ve also been so kind and patient while bringing my vision to life. I can safely say they’ve made me cry with their talent. I would also carry them to the very depths of Mount Doom if they ever asked. 

@notforonesecond Rach won’t see this but you guys need to know how hard she worked on her big bang, and how utterly patient and supportive she’s been with mine. More than that, she’s had to deal with so many stupid jokes, my insane ramblings, and a whole host of memes that one person shouldn’t be subjected to. I’m so glad we got to work together, but also to get to know her. 

@thesnowyswan Rae is a fount of wisdom, advice, and more importantly, very cool stories about dragons that I didn’t know about previously. Her writing is a constant inspiration and all sort of #goals, but I’m a bigger fan of Rae the person and everything I learn simply by speaking with her. I’ve become a better more ambitious creator, and just a more thoughtful person, and that is in some part, down to her. 

@persiflager I have a million and one theories about things at any given time, and Pers here is such an absolute blast to discuss them with. I love her deep cover knowledge of Emmerdale’s history. I learn so much and it just adds to the joy of speculating, and my enjoyment of the show. More than that, I’m just very, very grateful for all the advice she’s given me. I’ve become a better writer and beta just by association. 12/10. Highly recommend friendship. 

@illgetmerope Anna, where do I even begin? Like everyone else on this list, your talent is only superceded by the amazing person you are. You’re a constant inspiration with not only your attitude towards your art (because that is what it is), but just your general interests and the life you lead and the way you make everyone around you feel happy and special. If your lucky students feel even a ¼ of that, they’re the luckiest kids on the planet. If the universe ever does see fit to let us meet in person, just know I won’t be able to handle it. 

@whatdiknow  Oh, Marj. What don’t I adore about you? You’re wise, kind, understanding, endlessly patient, but most importantly, incredibly funny, with a wonderful capacity to indulge in silliness (especially with yours truly). Your dry sense of humour cracks me up regularly, as do your very astute observations. Do I deserve your friendship? Nah. Do I cherish it? Yes.  

@letthebluerain  Emma. There is so much I admire about you that I would need a whole other post, but I’m going to focus on all the things that give me the most joy. You’re so smart and incredibly funny, with solid, solid advice. But you’re also super silly, very encouraging, and secretly creative. I love all our conversations and the ideas they inspire, mostly though, I’m just proud I get to call you a friend. 

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #223

“broken and sad, as the tarnish on your crown, nowhere to go but down.”

What’s your favorite chocolate in the valentine box? The one with fudge in the center. What color hair did your first crush have? Brown. What’s a condition you have that you haven’t been officially diagnosed with? Do not ever self-diagnose, ever. There's a quote about this that I love: Something along the lines of, "Your five-minute Google search doesn't compare to my doctoral degree." Something like that. Anyway, everything I have has been professionally diagnosed, though my therapist and psychiatrist both know I question if my bipolarity is actually borderline personality disorder. My psychiatrist doesn't see it, and my therapist says my level of self-awareness makes that highly unlikely. Idk though, a loooot of symptoms remind me of myself. What’s your favorite version of the Bible? None. Do you think pineapple belongs on pizza? Noooo. I hate sweet/savory combos. Which one of your parents do you think is smarter? My mom. My dad is smart in his own way, but if you're talking about textbook knowledge, yeah. My mom is smarter in that area. Which parent do you think you inherited your intelligence level from? I 120% got my total lack of common sense from Dad. Otherwise, Mom. Do you store your bike in a garage for the winter? I don't have a garage nor bike. What were your favorite gym class activities in elementary school? Okay, do y'all remember those rainbow tarps you'd form a big dome out of? I loved that shit. Even though all we did was talk once inside, lol. I also loved those square roller things. You know, the ones that put your fingers at great risk. Would you rather wear a tunic top and jeggings or a crop top and high-waisted jeans? Okay so I'd fucking love to wear high-waisted jeans w/ a crop top if I had the body for it. Do you think hoodies look better oversized and long, or cropped? Oversized ones are the best. Have you ever had a professional make-over? No. Have you ever had a professional photo shoot? No. Did you ever want to be a model? Noooo. What’s your anti-depressant? Vraylar + Lamictal lmaooooo. Do you stretch or do yoga? Not anymore. List all of the colors of dresses you have worn to school dances. I only ever went to prom. My first was maroon, the second black. Did you enjoy school dances? Here's the tea: they're overhyped, at least for my personality. It's loud as hell so you can't hear each other talk, and the music's shit. I only went to his senior prom and mine for the novelty of it. What is something you want to be for Halloween? I am very legitimately considering be a handmaid from The Handmaid's Tale this year. Read that fucking book, it's one of the best I've ever read, and fucking terrifying as a woman. Who is your favorite parent? I love both for who they are. Do you have chronic pain? Only in my legs due to muscle atrophy that I'm recovering from now thanks to school. What is your favorite part of going to the dentist? My teeth feeling especially clean afterwards. Have you ever not been able to see the big E at the eye doctor? Ha ha, yes. My vision is godawful. What’s on your wish list right now? Just donate to my tattoo fund, lmao. What are you behind on? Politics. What did you get rid of that you wish you had kept? I wish I'd kept Jason and mine's last prom pictures, but literally just because now, I think I looked gorgeous. Does your hometown have bad memories attached to it? The Bloods gang seriously tried to break into the house while my sister and her friend were home alone as pre-teens, guess. Does it irritate you when someone has a dream but does nothing to work toward it? I mean, yes? I feel like everyone should care about that to some degree. Certainly not to an obsessive degree, it's not your life, but you should care that people work towards their aspirations. Do you find the concept of colorblindness fascinating? Yeah, sure. Which site have you been bullied on the most? I wouldn't say I was ever really bullied, but I guess the closest was on an old RP site from one particular person. Who do you wish loved you? A few people. Not necessarily romantically. Do you know anyone who has twin babies or toddlers? Yes. I actually think she has two pairs. If so, what are their names? Idr. I only know them loosely through dance. Would you ever want to have twins? FUCK no. Who has the cutest babies on your Facebook newsfeed? My acquaintance Anastasia literally has the prettiest daughter ever. If you could have a car in any color you wanted, which color? Pink, duh. Or maroon. What is your favorite Avril Lavigne song? WHY'D YOU HAVE TO GO AND MAKE THINGS SO COMPLICATED What’s a song lyric that you like? Korn came out with a new album, and my favorite song's lyrics include "God is making fun of me," and it's my favorite thing ever. Would you ever hitchhike? Why or why not? NOOOOOOO, I don't trust people. What’s one thing you’ve done to celebrate Earth Day? As a kid, I made a bird house one year. There was this backyard decorating show on Animal Planet when I was little, and on one episode, they made one out of an empty milk jug and leaves, so I duplicated that. What color is your stapler? Black. Was your middle school crush the same as your high school crush? No. Have you ever been homeschooled? Towards the end of 8th grade, I was homebound. I was deeply depressed, and school didn't help. Have you ever completed a weight loss program? No. What was the last thing you were mad at a doctor about? I will forever and absolutely always despise my old doctor for putting and keeping me on a medication that resulted in me gaining around 150 pounds, and I wish I was fucking kidding, and blaming it on me the entire time. Where you live, is it possible to get sunburned&frostbitten in same week? HA, yeah. Do you ever turn your phone off because you don’t want to talk? No, I'll just ignore it. Do you like McDonald’s sweet tea? I hate sweet tea period. Do you like rap? Very little of it. Usually just some Eminem. Do you ever lay down and look at the stars? I haven't done that in a long time. Well, we weren't lying down, but rather sitting in chairs, but when Sara was here last summer, she, Mom, and I all sat outside one night making s'mores and having some drinks, and we looked up at the stars for quite a while. Don’t you hate when songs remind you of the person you’re trying to forget? There are a couple songs I physically can't listen to due to PTSD. Whose bed were you last in besides your own? Uhhh. I think my niece's, though I was just sitting on it. Who’s the last person you kissed? Sara. What’s your relationship with that person? We're really fucking gay for each other. Do you know how many people you’ve kissed? Three or four. I can't remember if I ever actually initiated a kiss with Girt or ever kissed him back, but I don't think so. Do you burn easily in the sun? Like toast on the whitest bread. Have you ever blacked out? I mean, I've fainted. Who do you hang out with the most? My mom lmao. Are you positive or negative? So in my FYS class (that is literally more like therapy), we very recently took an emotional intelligence test (it's like a scale that tells you your strengths and weaknesses in some major areas), and my optimism score was ABYSMALLY low. Like, as low as it could be. I've always called myself a realist, but this was a very detailed and professional test, so I'm taking my results into consideration. Do you believe life is fair? Ha ha, what a way to prove the last answer, but you couldn't possibly make me believe life is fair. It's chance and cause and effect. Have you ever bought a youtuber’s merch? LMAO YAAAAAAAAAAAAAA'LL I'm too embarrassed to ask for "unusual" things. Do you have any embarrassing health issues? One or two. I am a Walking Health Issue. What are you longing for? I want Sara to live here so badly. Distance is getting hard. Who was your first roommate? Jason, Amanda, and Jacob. Who lived across the hall from you your first year of college? I never lived in a dorm. Have you ever had a janitorial job? Omfg no. I'm a germaphobe. Have you ever worked in food service? Hell no. I can't deal with hungry people. What is your favorite flavor of frosting? I'm a chocolate bitch. What is your favorite type of donut? Depends on where it's from. Dunkin' Donuts, omlllll gimme a chocolate frosted (never with sprinkles, sprinkles are gross). Krispy Kreme, BITCH I will kill a glazed. What is the name of your favorite bakery? We don't go to any proper bakery. We just get stuff from the ones at grocery stores. What is your current favorite Starbucks drink? I don't go to Starbucks. When was the last time you wrote someone a letter? For a certain holiday for Sara. I think it was Valentine's Day? Do you write mostly in cursive or in print? It's some hybrid font of both, but mostly cursive. What do you usually get for your birthday? Meerkat-related stuff. What is a childhood dream that hasn’t stuck with you? I wanted to be a vet. Who was your first favorite cartoon character? Uhhh. Probably Ash Ketchum (I FUCKING WROTE "KETCHUP") or Pikachu. Who is your favorite Disney princess? It was Ariel as a kid, now I don't particularly care, but probably Snow White. Do you like Coca Cola? Hell yeah. Do you like McDonald’s french fries? Are you even human if you don't? Did you get your hair color from your mom, your dad, or a grandparent? My hair was dirty blonde as a kid, so I don't have a clue where that came from. It turned brown though, so I guess Mom, but hers is way darker than mine. What are some other names your parents’ considered when naming you? The only one I remember is Kathryn. Who was the last person you know who had a baby? Uhhh I think it was one of my high school friends. …And what was the baby’s name? Jaspen. If you had a boy and a girl, what would they be named? Alessandra is NOT up for debate (if I wanted kids, anyway) lol, and Damien. What color is your dresser? Brown. Have you found your first gray/white hair yet? WOW no that would be mighty depressing. Is your hair long or short? Short. …and which way do you like it best? I CANNOT believe I didn't go short earlier. Do you have a problem with needles? Nah. Have you ever had to use an epi pen? No, thankfully. Have you ever ridden in an ambulance? Also thankfully no. If applicable, what color are your glasses? Black. Do you like the name Addison? Yeah, it's cute. Have you ever made your own Halloween costume out of clothes from your closet? No. At least, not a *real* costume. I've just dressed particularly dark before. Have you ever gotten sick in the car? No. Do you enjoy editing photos? I do. Have you ever called the wrong number? Yep, oops. Do you usually pick Truth or Dare? Truth. I never pick "dare," actually. Do you like kissing? I mean yeah, if I love the person. Which Internet browser do you use? Chrome. When was the last time you read a whole book, to the last page exactly? A couple weeks ago I finished The Handmaid's Tale for school. How many times have you had sex within the past two years? Guesstimate? A big 'ole zero lmao. Has your boyfriend or girlfriend ever cheated on you? Were you mad or sad? No. Are you a superstitious person? Have you ever been superstitious before? No. When was the last time your area had a tornado warning, if ever? A few months ago. Have you ever had one of those major fights with your current bf/gf? When we were younger and unstable friends. Do you think road kill is gross? I think it's sad more than anything, but I mean yeah, it can be. But considering a personal project of mine is photographing roadkill to depict the brutality and sadness of it, it obviously doesn't gross me out all that much. Is it obvious when people hurt your feelings? I think so. How many teeth do you have? The normal amount. Have you ever lived outside of America? No. Do you get allowance? I'm 23, I obviously don't now, but I never have. Do you pop your pimples? Yeah, oops. Who did you last dance with? Sara. Have you ever wanted to kill someone? I think so. I wasn't going to like, actively pursue that, but I wanted her dead. Have you ever had braces? Yep. When you get married, do you want to keep your last name? No, please take it away. Do you shave your pubic hair? No. I'll obvious trim/shave along my upper legs in I'm going to wear a bathing suit or something, though. Have you ever seen a tornado in real life? Thank fucking god no. Do you have to plug your nose while swimming under water? Yep. I have zero clue how people stop water from going up their nose, even if they don't breathe through it. Do you like soft or hard pillows? s o f t What’s the last thing your parents bought you? Mom bought food, Dad bought me my laptopl. Do you know anyone who committed suicide? I'm 99% sure a pre-teen online friend did. I know some people loosely. When was the last time you cried out in pain? That's probably a TMI from having IBS. What do you say when you answer the phone? "Hello?" Do you ever get the feeling you don't belong? Belong where? I need specifics. Are you a timid person? Incredibly. Ever been in love with two people at the same time? No. Ever vomited because you were in shock? No. Do you think the world is a nice place or a horrible place? It's a hybrid of those. Ever had a rumor spread about you? The only one I knew of was one Jason's ex started in high school, that being that we had a baby. Despite the fact I was obviously never pregnant. If you found out you were pregnant how would you react? I'd be fucking terrified and incredibly confused because that's physically impossible. Have you ever been dumped by text? Did it hurt? More like over Facebook Messenger, and fuck yes it hurt considering I was literally madly in love with him and we'd been in a serious relationship for three and a half years. In your opinion what would be the worst possible way to dump someone? See above. (: How do you take out your anger? 99% of the time, cry. Have you ever snuck out of your house? No. Have you ever kissed someone of the same sex? Yeah. What’s the craziest thing you’ve done on a dare? Idk. I never did crazy dares. Have you ever cussed someone out? Yes. What’s the most trouble you’ve ever gotten in with your parents? Idk. My dad never really punished us, but rather Mom. I would say the time I texted her back "fuck you," but I was an adult by this point so she couldn't really do anything, but I do noooot want to imagine how she would've reacted if we were physically together. When she picked me up, she was furious, but I think she was more shocked I actually said that than anything. I don't remember that night much, surprisingly, considering I tend to remember awful days like that. Have you ever cheated on someone? No. Have you ever had a friend-with-benefits? No. Have you ever spread a nasty rumor about someone? No. Have you ever broken someone’s heart? I don't know. Have you ever been physically abused? Thank God, luck, Heaven, or whatever, no. What’s something you really regret saying to someone? I think more than anything, the time I sent something along the lines of "thanks for sending me to the hospital again" to Jason before I went to the ER for the bajillionth time. Doesn't matter if it was the first, fifth, or thousandth time, that was fucking evil and could've seriously hurt him. Is there something really bad that you’ve done, that only YOU know about? Uhhhh I don't think so, at least. Do you have a lot of secrets? It depends on who is involved. Mostly though, no. Does it take a lot to make you feel guilty? I don't know, actually. Have you ever broken a really important promise? I don't think so. Have you ever gone out with a best friend’s ex? More like mutually flirted with her boyfriend behind her back until he left her for me when I was 12. Fucking disgusting. Have you ever made out with someone who was just a friend? No. Have you ever cheated on a test? I actually don't think I ever have. Have you ever told someone’s deep, dark secret? No. I'm honestly very trustworthy with secrets. Have you ever gotten in a fist fight? No. Have you ever done something bad JUST because you knew you shouldn’t? Maybe as a kid? I don't think so? Have you ever purposely hurt yourself? Yeah. Have you ever pushed someone into a pool? I don't think so? Have you ever copied someone else’s homework? Again I don't believe so. Possibly once, idr. Have you ever kissed someone the same day you met them? No. What’s under your bed? A box of art stuff. Have you ever you shoplifted? No. What do you want more than anything else? Happiness. Have you ever tried coconut water? I have not. How many online accounts do you have? Or have you lost count? Holy fuck, there's no telling. Who was your first love? Jason. Are you the type to hold grudges? Definitely not. What was the last video game you played? I actually have World of Warcraft open right now, but that's a computer game; does that count? If not, uhhh. It's been a long while... I think maybe The Legend of Spyro: Dawn of the Dragon. What’s your favorite flavor of vitamin water? Never tried vitamin water. Are there any bands/artists that get you all emotional? Ozzy Osbourne makes me so nostalgic. His music is so important to me. Have you ever been to a convention? (comic, Youtube, etc.) No, but bitch try to stop me from going to PAX East one day to hug God and cry for two hours in joy. What brand are most of the electronics in your household? I don't think we have a consistent brand for our electronics. It depends on what the thing is. What’s your favorite aunt or uncle’s first name? I can't remember my favorite aunt's name, but the only uncle I know well is Rob. He's hilarious. Have you ever smoked a cigarette? No. Who was the last person you invited into your home? Sara. Are you of legal drinking age in the country you live in? Yes. How old were your parents when they got engaged? I have no clue. Early 30s? Are your parents still together? Hell no. What flavor was the last ice cream you ate? Chocolate. Are you health conscious? To a degree. Have you ever done a first aid course? No. If so, would you be prepared to perform CPR if necessary? N/A Are there any songs that get stuck in your head very easily? A lot. Who was the last person to text you? Sara. If you found out you couldn’t have children, would you adopt? I'd be fucking ecstatic if I found out I was infertile, especially with how terrified and paranoid I am about being raped. I don't want kids, ever. Would you go back to your most recent ex? No; I don't like him like that. Do you remember the show Bananas in Pajamas? I don't, but I know my older sister was obsessed. If you could know how, when, and where you’ll die, would you want to know? Hell no. Are you really excited for anything? I'm probably going up to Sara's for her birthday and Christmas and I CANNOT wait. Have you ever eaten any type of insect? Not intentionally? I think a gnat or something flew into my throat once, but idk. I've certainly never tried to. Who is the most famous person you’ve ever met? Nobody lmao. Do you have trust issues? Oh yes indeed.

[ezrisdax-archive]

you showed up at my door for trick or treating but we’re pretty much the same age so I know you must be to old for this but now you’re trying to talk me into coming trick or treating with you to prove a point — for soriku maybe??

send me a pairing + a halloween prompt for a ficlet

also here on ao3

~~

“You’rekidding.” Riku deadpanned when he opened the door to see Sora covered in toiletpaper.

 Sora justgrinned and shoved a bag out towards him, “Trick or Treat!”

 “Sora...”Riku shook his head, “Aren’t we a little old for this?” At sixteen this reallyshould have stopped in his opinion.

 “For candy?Riku what are you talking about.”

 “No, for,”He waved a hand at Sora’s appearance. “This.”

 Sora’smouth turned downward in a pout but Riku knew him far too well to know he wasn’treally upset. “Come on Riku, you could join me.”

 “Pass.”

 “Please.”Sora dragged out the word like he always did when trying to get Riku to dosomething.

 “You couldn’tget Roxas to join could you?” Riku guessed, noting the lack of Sora’s twinaround him.

 “That’s notthe point Riku.”

 Riku waitedcalmly for Sora to go on.

 “The pointis to have some fun, get dressed up, get candy. And no,” Sora cut him offbefore Riku could comment, “We aren’t too old.” Sora grinned at him but theeffect was dimmed by toilet paper falling over his eye. “And I’m going to proveit.”

 Riku wasdistracted by the toilet paper and didn’t quite catch the last part. “Wait,what? Sora what are you thinking?”

 Soracontinued to grin.

 “No.”

 ~~

 Kairiwouldn’t stop laughing when she opened the door. She kept at it even as shepulled out her phone to snap a picture and called for Namine to come see.

 Rikuhunched his shoulders, trying to appear smaller and maybe ultimately disappear.He couldn’t believe he’d let Sora talk him into this and on top of that, letSora dress him in toilet paper as well.

 Sora hadglued glowsticks to some pieces and when Riku had asked ‘why’ just shrugged athim.

 His phonepinged a moment later and he just knew that Kairi had sent a picture to thegroup chat with all their friends. He was going to bury his phone so he neverhad to see the responses.

 “Can wejust get on with this?” He aimed for nonchalant but knew it came out somewhatdesperate.

 BehindKairi Namine giggled at them, slightly more refrained than her sister, andreached for the candy bowl at the side table near the door. Sora instinctivelyheld his bag out for candy while Kairi took a step outside and sidled up toRiku.

 “So Soratalked you into it?” Her eyes were bright in the porch lights and he could seethe amusement in them. “Guess he really can get you to do anything.”

 Riku huffedout a sigh and nodded, not even bothering to deny it given the state he was in.He looked down at Kairi, “Don’t suppose you want to come?” Even as he said ithe regretted it a little. Lately due to school he and Sora hadn’t gotten tohang out the same amount they used to and much as he could do without thetoilet paper covering him he had agreed because it meant spending some timewith Sora alone.

 “Yeah,Kairi!” Sora had gotten the candy and jumped back into the conversation, “Youshould join us! You too Namine.” He turned around to include Namine, lookingbetween Kairi and Namine excitedly.

 “No, youtwo have fun.” Kairi caught Riku’s eyes and winked. “But I expect a sharetomorrow.”

 “You canhave mine.” Riku promised and Namine leaned over to drop some candy in his bagas well. “If you delete the photo.”

 Kairi stuckher tongue out in return, saying nothing and walking back into her house with awave at the two of them.

 “It’s not abad photo Riku.” Sora assured him as they turned to walk down Kairi’s driveway.“You could smile more though.” Sora reached over, pinching at Riku’s cheekslike he used to do when they were younger and he was trying to get Riku tosmile.

 Riku battedhis hand away, trying not to laugh at the memory but failing which he guessedwas what Sora had planned because Sora beamed at him.

 ImmediatelySora launched himself at Riku, sliding an arm over his shoulders though he hadto stand on his toes to do it due to Riku’s growth spurt. He held his phone outin his other hand saying, “Cheeeeeese.” and snapping a picture of them whileRiku was still laughing.

 Rikugroaned as Sora pulled away, “Don’t send that to the group chat.”

 “I won’t,”Sora promised, holding his phone and looking at the picture he’d taken. “I justwanted a picture of the two of us.”

 “Oh.” Rikufelt his cheeks growing warmer and cleared his throat. “So next house?”

 Sorajolted, looking away from his phone and shoving it in his pocket. “Yeah, nexthouse!”

 ~~

 Theyreached Sora’s cousin’s house and Ven had dressed up too when he answered thedoor.

 “See.” Sorasaid, looking over at Riku.

 “Doesn’tcount.” Riku countered. “Your family is all like this.” He teased.

 Vensurprisingly refused their invite to join, explaining that he was meeting upwith Aqua and Terra in a few minutes.

 “I’msurprised you didn’t ask him in the first place.” Riku said as they walkedaway.

 Sorascratched the back of his neck, “I uh, actually didn’t ask anyone.”

 Rikustopped, looking over at Sora surprised.

 “I went tosee you first.”

 Riku openedhis to point out that he’d asked Roxas but then thought back on theirconversation. Sora hadn’t actually said he’d invited Roxas, he’d just deflectedRiku’s question. He was getting sneakier, Riku’d have to look out for that.Sora also hadn’t invited Kairi or Namine first, just following Riku’s leadwhich didn’t seem like him at all.

 He realizedthat he’d been quiet for a minute and Sora wasn’t really looking at him, justsneaking glances from the corner of his eyes. He nudged Sora, “Come on, if we’regoing to do this we might as well do this right.”

 Soraimmediately brightened, “Yeah,” He reached down to take Riku’s hand, “Let’s go.”

 Riku didn’tdrop his hand when they got to the next house, even when Selphie stared at themwith a sly grin.

 At leastthe toilet paper helped hide the flush on his cheeks.

 ~~

 The rest ofthe houses blurred by. Axel hadn’t given them candy, just laughed like Kairihad and called Roxas and Xion down to see. Roxas had shot his brother a singlelook when he’d seen the two of them that Riku was curious about but Sora haddodged again by dragging him to Aqua’s where they saw Ven again.

 Hayner,Pence, and Olette had snickered, Tidus had complimented the costumes much toSora’s delight and Riku’s bafflement, and Wakka had dumped the whole candy bowlin Sora’s bag. They’d avoided the creepy house on the hill where Xehanortlived.

 FinallySora called it in and they ended up on the beach, starring out at the islandthey’d visit over the summer and digging into their candy.

 “You know,I was right.” Sora said, mouth full with a chocolate bar.

 Riku rolledhis eyes, “It wasn’t so bad. We’re still too old for it.”

 Sora shovedhim, “Stop trying to grow up so fast Riku, it’s boring.” Sora flopped down onthe sand, still covered in toilet paper though he’d lost most of it as thenight had gone on. Riku had pulled all his off and stuffed it in the bag, neverto look at it again.

 “Hey Sora,”Riku began, figuring he could finally get an answer now. “Why didn’t you invitethe others?” In retrospect Sora would have been making a big deal of it like hehad over the past few years and swapping costume ideas back and forth witheverybody. This year Sora had said nothing and it’d all snuck up on them.

 “Rememberwhen it was just you and me?” Sora asked quietly after a while. “I love theothers but we hadn’t had a night like that in a while.”

 “We havemovie nights all the time.” Riku pointed out, though they were supposed to behomework nights that always devolved into watching movies at either of theirhouses.

 “It’s notthe same. You’re always working lately through them.” Sora mumbled, sitting upand flinging sand everywhere. He fell silent, chewing at the candy as adistraction.

 “You know I’mnot going anywhere right?” Riku began.

 “I’d justfind you if you did.” Sora cut in, grinning.

 “Yeah I don’tdoubt it.” Riku shook his head. “But I’m not gonna leave you Sora.”

 “So you’llalways come trick or treating with me.” Sora’s grin turned sly and Riku shovedat him only for Sora to duck.

 “Not what Imeant.”

 “I know.”Sora leaned back on his hands and looked over at Riku, “Thanks Riku.”

 Riku breathedout, reaching up to pull the toilet paper off Sora’s face so he could finallysee him properly. He hesitated as he did but Sora didn’t stop him whichencouraged him to lean in just a little. Sora closed the distance, his lipsjust barely grazing Riku’s.

 “I’m notgoing anywhere.” Riku repeated again softly.

 Sora kissedhim, more sure this time and Riku dragged a hand in Sora’s hair to pull himcloser. If he’d known the night would lead to this he would have walked out hisdoor with Sora sooner.

 This wasperfect though; the sand, the candy, and Sora.

[evannalily]

Gold Frame Earrings from Newlook

Good Afternoon everyone and a very Happy New Year to you all! I hope you all had a wonderful night full of fun, joy and surrounded by family and friends to ring in the new year! I myself was laid up in bed with the flu for most of it so mine could have been that little bit better but otherwise I was just thankful to actually be out of bed and able to eat on actual new years night so it could have also have been worse but Im on the mend now! Todays post is the first post of 2019 and one I haven’t done in a while which is on one of my own looks that I had for a night out in December and if I’m being really honest that night was the first in a long time that I actually 100% happy with how I looked on a night out and felt really confident in myself which I think is a feeling I will be bringing with me in 2019!

My 2018 ended with a good few memories as I had a pretty sociable December . Including myself and Éimear going to the INEC in Killarney to go see Hozier and Gavin James who were unreal! For anyone who doesn’t know who Hozier is he’s an Irish singer/songwriter from Wicklow and I would definitely recommend going to see him because he is just amazing live! I always love going to see singers live and have them sound the exact same as they do in audio instead of them sounding a bit different because the voices are enhanced on the audio to sound better. Definitely check out his music because he is genuinely just so good! Gavin James is also an Irish singer from Galway who is also really good to go and see!

Myself and Éimear also went on our glam girls night out where we also met up with Himself and a couple of his work buddies and it was this night that I am honestly so happy with my look.

Look of The Night

  https://www.newlook.com/row/womens/clothing/tops/black-one-hundred-percent-slogan-t-shirt-/p/616789201

https://www.newlook.com/row/womens/clothing/skirts/black-cotton-mix-mini-tube-skirt-/p/506885901?comp=Search

https://www.newlook.com/row/womens/accessories/jewellery/gold-textured-rectangle-earrings-/p/614185393?comp=Browse

https://www.prettylittlething.com/black-pu-pointed-ankle-sock-boots.html

https://www.newlook.com/row/womens/accessories/belts/black-leather-look-circle-buckle-hip-belt/p/591190501?comp=Browse

The look its self was pretty simple and was my classic all black colour scheme (another thing I’m going to start changing in 2019) and was just perfect. I love when you just throw something on last minute and it ends up being you’re favourite look of all time. The t-shirt is pretty basic and you can find slogan t-shirts in virtually any high street store at the moment as they are really trendy still and it was also long enough on me that I kind of created another layer under the skirt which is always handy just incase like me you have a little fear of things being a bit transparent. The skirt is actually another one that I had at home but I have included a link to a similar one here for you but its just a basic black tube skirt as I like my skirts to be a bit higher around the waist as I just feel they suit me better. You can’t see the boots in this photo but I do have a picture of them up on my Instagram and they are literally the exact type I was searching for for ages! I have another suede high stiletto pair that I have had for years and they are starting to get on a bit now and have seen a fair share of nights out so it was time to start getting their replacement ready and these are amazing. They literally tick every box height (which is scary high to look at but I love the height without a platform sole) , style, colour, comfort and of course are pointed toe. The earrings are again really trendy at the minute and are relatively easy to find but it does depend on the size you like. Usually these square frames are on the larger side but these ones are actually a mini version available from Newlook as well as the bigger size too. They are lightweight as well which is always a bonus as heavy earrings are a curse on your ears after a while. I just finished this look with a plain black leather jacket (more black I know) and thats it. A simple look for nights out without the fuss.

  2018 : A Year In Pictures

As we are now in the new year 2019 I have decided to share some of my photos month by month from last year 2018 on some of my highlights from the year gone by. I definitely had a year filled with ups and downs, changes and trips but these photos are a reflection of all the good times from last year and if you can I would make an album on your phone or in a scrap book that you can look back on in years to come so that you can remind yourself when you’re feeling a bit low or in a sticky situation that life hasn’t been all bad and that you have had some great times in your life even if it is something as simple as just watching movies with friends. Heres a breakdown of my 2018!

February – Éimear and I travelled up to Dublin to go see Dermot Kennedy in the Olympia Theatre and I will honestly never forget it. It was the best concert I have ever been to because his music is so emotional, touching, beautiful and mesmerising. We are going to see him this year as well which I cannot wait to do again!

April – Himself and I went on our kind of annual holiday to Portugal to Albufiera where we have been before but this time we did do a few new things one of which I have definitely never done before and that was a Fish Pedicure. If you don’t know what that is its basically these tiny little fish that eat away at dead skin cells so you soak your feet in the water with them and they basically just clean your dead skin cells away. Don’t worry they are tiny fish so you don’t actually feel anything except maybe a slight tickle which is more of a funny sensation than scary (unless your Kim Kardashian West in that clip where she completely freaks out at the tickle feeling of a fish pedicure).

June – Himself and I went over to England for just under two weeks to mind my aunties house for her and as he had never been to London before I was excited to show him all the touristy things like Buckingham Palace, The London Eye and the Natural History Museum. We did one thing I had never done before (that I can recall anyway as I may have gone as a very small child) and that was go to the London Aquarium. It was really cool in there and they do have really interesting things to see so I would recommend going there if you are in London! On our way to the Natural History Museum we did see a few lamborghinis being driven around for demonstrations too which he was only delighted to see.

September – In September Himself and I attended a wedding in Tralee which was a civil ceremony as they didn’t want a church wedding and it was honestly one of the nicest wedding I have been to. As much as I respect peoples religious choices of a church wedding it was just really nice to not have the same prayers and routines and to see them have their children involved, have their own readings and quotes spoken and it was just a really nice romantic wedding. I did however end up spending two days getting broken glass out of my hands from an unfortunate table breakage but we won’t talk too much about that!

December – The whole month of December was one of my highlights to be honest. I started with our annual staff party which was really fun as we went for dinner and then just made a night out of it. Next up was my birthday which I didn’t actually do anything for it but Himself did have roses delivered to me at work for it which was a nice surprise even though I had a feeling he was going to do that as he was being a bit sneaky in town the day before and he did the same for my 21st birthday a couple years ago but it was still a lovely surprise! After that came came the Hozier show which was amazing as he just has such a great voice and is amazing to see live. Then literally two days after that myself and Éimear went out for our glam girls night and met up with himself and couple of his friends as they were on a staff night out too. Then obviously there was Christmas which was our usual family tradition of dinner with my grandparents, lots of food and a movie. Then a few days after Christmas myself and Éimear headed out to the INEC again to go see Gavin James perform and literally about two days after this I ended up in bed ill for nearly two days and was only just up an about on new years eve and able to eat so I literally have not one photo from the night but I did discover my 88 year old granddad is a fan of George Ezra’s Shotgun and my nan is in love with Michael Bublé

February – Dermot Kennedy Olympia Theatre Dublin

March – Myself and Eimear on St. Patricks Night

March – Snowy house bound days with Cookie

April – Albufeira, Portugal with himself

April – Albufeira, Portugal with himself

May – Finally bought a new car

June – England with Himself

June – England with Himself

August – Got my first set of the prettiest Ombre gels at NailsbyErika

August – Was reunited with an old school friend at a wedding

September – At wedding with himself

October – Halloween Costume Party in The Grand with Gillian

December – Christmas Staff Party

December – Himself had flowers delivered to me at work for my birthday

December – Hozier with Eimear

December – Hozier with Eimear

December – Out on the town with Eimear

December – Holly waiting for her gifts from Santa on Christmas morning

Decemeber – Gavin James with Eimear

Well thats my 2018 summed up so lets see what 2019 brings! Speak to you soon!

Ever yours

Lily

xx

December Roundup : Last Look At 2018 Good Afternoon everyone and a very Happy New Year to you all! I hope you all had a wonderful night full of fun, joy and surrounded by family and friends to ring in the new year!

[n0resistance]

Rome

    What was interesting with where we were in Rome was that a lot of locals spoke English. Most cities are like this. We had a Counselor that said all major cities usually speak English,  and the authentic places are in the villages. She was right. I tried to speak Italian after all my lessons to our waiter, and he felt uncomfortable that I wasn't very fluent and asked me to speak English! They also get offended when you ask for extra salt, or ketchup, anything that changes the dish. They think you're insulting their food.     

    The food is amazing. Veal, rabbit, pasta, melon con prosciutto, and bruschetta. The wine is excellent. Anything sweet is excellent. I found my favorite wine was from Piedmonti called Gavi di Gavi. Which is in the North. My favorite restaurant in Campo De Fiori  is a chain! This wine and cheese bar called Obica. Which is in New York and LA. Our apartment was walking distance from the Colosseum. It was far from school. I always had to take the bus. Which was honesty policy when it came to payment. So people didn't really pay. When the cops came to check we would just jump off. That's why there were transportation strikes in Rome all the time. The honesty policy system did not work.     

    It took me forever to get to know my area where my apartment was because I always stayed with my friend who lived near Piazza Navona. Which had this amazing fountain of the four major rivers and their Gods. A Brazilian consulate, the best gelato, and our school. My friend and I would go running. One time, since we don't really have phones, and you have to pay per call, we ran to each other's houses without knowing it. I got lost and I finally got to her house and her roommate said she was running to see me. 

    We connected with people through facebook and if we set a time we would meet there. If we weren't there we would wait. It was awesome not having a phone. I had my camera, my journal, and some food vouchers. Our program was awesome because rent was paid for as well as food vouchers to restaurants and the only thing I had to worry about was travel. My dad sent me $150 a week from what I saved over the summer, and that's how I lived. 

     In Rome, I felt like I didn't really have any money, and I felt like I had too much free time. So I had journals and photos and eventually started taking videos. I set intentions. I wanted a tattoo of my mother's signature. It was a card she gave to my father "Happy 3 month anniversary" in 1985. Finding that was really special to me and I brought it with me to Italy to get the tattoo. I wanted to learn Italian, speak to people. Make friends. I decided to do a video project. For Italy, and film everything I was experiencing. 

    I focused and did really well in school. Watch Italian films and got a real Italian education, or as close as you can going to an American school in Rome. My last intention was to see all that Italy has to offer. People in my program went all over Europe. Spain, Morocco, France, and Croatia. I couldn't afford trips like that, so I backpacked every weekend with my friend from New York and my other friend from LA, and went to the beaches or villages and saw Italy.     

     My classes included Italian, Philosophy, Art History, and my favorite History of Italian Cinema. Art History was amazing because every class was at the actual site. It was included in the program so we learned about Michel Angelo and then went to the Vatican to see the Sistine Chapel. Dates were the hardest to remember. We also saw this amazing Duomo  and the art  in Orvietto. We learned about Luca Signorelli and his painting called The Last Judgement. When hell comes on earth and takes everyone who was a sinner. Basically the end of the world. It's graphic and disturbing. I carved my initials with a permanent marker at the bottom of one of the paintings. Orvietto was my favorite because it was a place I could speak to people in Italian, since people didn't know English.     

    One time we brought our friends' parents and we were famished for lunch during Siesta. All the restaurants were closed but this little old lady went inside and cooked us a meal from scratch. I had pasta fagioli, which is my absolute favorite. My friend’s parents asked for ice for their white wine, which is uncommon in Italy. She had to make it from scratch and by the time it was ready, we finished all the wine. 

    We had amazing day trips. Our trip to Napoli we saw Pompeii, Mt Vesuvius, and the Island of Capri. They make the best limoncello in Capri. You see all the people who were preserved from the volcano eruption in Pompeii. As well as the brothels there. We did a day trip on our own when everyone went to Oktober fest to Sperlonga. We rented a pedal boat with a slide. Went swimming topless. Had a freak out because we realized we left our passports and all our money at the beach and nobody was watching it. We had fresh fish. Felt like we got robbed because they didn't tell us how much the fish was until we left.     

    For our film class we had a field trip to CInecitta studios. We saw the original set for Gangs of New York. The set for this one film called Roman Empire. I loved that class. I learned a lot about fascism, neorealism, and realism, and discovered my favorite director Fellini, as well as actress Sophia Loren. Who was the first sex icon in Italy and was one of the first to make it to Hollywood. Italians impress me with the food, culture, and art.  Living there made me want to become a filmmaker. 

    My Italy video project consumed me. I would film and edit it everyday after school. I was obsessed. I wanted to include everything. My friend was so supportive of that. I was upset about this new realization because I already spent 3 years studying business, hotel management, and had this epiphany that I should be an artist. I knew I had to go home and finish my degree. I knew I needed to make money. I knew I wanted to be an artist and express myself through storytelling because most of our entertainment during dinner was my crazy stories from college or my suburban town in New Jersey. 

  So I used Italy as my outlet, I never knew when I was going to come back, or have an opportunity to not work, and be this inspired. That I just ran with it with my camera and my journal. I filmed everything. Car rides, night life, the beach, cinecitta studios,  Pompeii, and all of Rome. It was my first movie. I got terribly homesick and my friends missed me too. I especially missed my dog. He ate brownie batter and had to get his stomach pumped which was $500.00. I felt like I missed out a lot of the sorority events, I just joined. I wrote out a speech to be pledge mom and sent the video to them in a beautiful place in Rome. It was so loud because in the middle of my speech an ambulance came. My sister came to Rome. I got to show her the new life I was living and my apartment. We had aperitivo and wine. It was special to show her.    

     I became close with my roommate, and got close with the barista Luca who made my coffee every morning. I got into cappuccinos because I had to go to the coffee shop to get wifi. I would write all day. He was a ballerina. I also made friends with one of our professors. He would come out with my friend and I, he was always talking philosophy. A friend of mine from Pace was studying in Barcelona and came to Rome. We went to the Jewish area where the holocaust happened. It was pretty sad. Any piece of home was nice. We went to a soccer game and soccer is like religion in Italy. My favorite player was Totti, they call him Il Capitano. We were the only people that drank at the soccer stadium. Everything is closed for soccer. People are very focused and into the game. I got a jersey I wore all the time.

    My favorite area was Trastevere. They call it the Brooklyn of Italy. Not too busy, a lot of creatives, I even prefer the bars and food there. There was a University in New York stationed there called St. John's. When you cross the Tiber River, you end up there. Also, my area was really awesome. I didn't realize it til the end of our study abroad. Since I spent most of my time near the center. I remember hearing Vampire Weekend for the first time at a bar there. I also remember all the live music, burlesque shows, and piazzas near me were amazing.      

    Our school was sweet. They even hosted a Thanksgiving for us and celebrated Halloween, so we wouldn't feel homesick. There's a lot of Irish pubs in Rome where American students hang out. Scholars, The Abbey, The Drunken ship was where you went to turn up. We even went on a pub crawl with wrist bands. You have to stay close to your friends the entire time. Rule#1 never get in a car with strangers.

       I learned a lot about myself in Italy. I found freedom, community, and a desire to be an artist there. I found independence. I learned to cook. A lot better than I've ever cooked before. A different part of my brain would work when I spoke Italian. I developed this big dream to be in an Italian movie. The movies I watched demonstrated the hardships Italy overcame. I spent time on myself and even though I loved New York I didn't have time to breathe. Italy will always be a second home to me. I thank that experience and that calling to go there because it made me who I am.