#or just some random scar from when they made a gash in their body doing something stupid and they needed stitches for it

[symbiotic-slime]

giving characters top surgery scars is great but we gotta start expanding this mentality into just random medical procedures. you’re telling me this protagonist made it through their whole life without needing some type of surgery??

[that-foul-legacy-lover]

Melusine reader, slowly turning into an abyssal moth reader, creator reader...I love them all but has someone asked for a puppet reader yet?

Another discarded creation of the Electro Archon, maybe the failed attempt of those who wanted to create an artificial god back in Sumeru, or somehow they're related to Catherine or Sandrone, but whatever the origin is...Puppet reader with a body that will never change nor wither away, puppet reader who has witnessed many things (or not at all, I'll leave that up to anyone else), puppet reader who's unaffected by the abyssal energy and therefore can just be around Foul Legacy or even venture into the depths of the abyss without being corrupted. But also, puppet reader who was built not that seamlessly, puppet reader who's body is delicate and can crack if they get hit, puppet reader who sometimes needs someone to wind them up with a key or something. Puppet reader who looks so so human yet is used to not feeling nor being human at all, who has a heart that beats (probably with elemental energy) and visible doll joints. Do they feel what they touch? Do they have warmth? Maybe they'll never physically feel Legacy's hands, or they'll never feel the sensation of being embraced, and they'll never be able to not be cold to the touch or a bit hard because they're like porcelain. And Foul Legacy treats them exactly like that, like porcelain, as if they were to break at any given moment but Reader always says that they're not that delicate– aaaanyways I'm rambling, sorry sorry, just a random thought I had

Are puppets light or heavy? That means Foul Legacy can carry reader around like a doll, right? That'd be super cute

*riffles through files* i KNOW we've gotten some puppet asks, you all need to meet each other :D

you're a curious paradox to him, alive yet not, made of delicate porcelain yet tender and sweet. for years you've simply been wandering the land, abandoned by your creators and without purpose, until you met him- your Foul Legacy, a feared creature of the Abyss. you're worn and a bit battered, he's scarred from countless battles, and he wakes up one morning with you peacefully leaning against his leg. Legacy almost thinks you're a toy- a rather large, intricate toy- until you move and he almost leaps into the air out of surprise. his wings flutter and his head tilts as you introduce yourself, holding out a hand for him to shake. when he tentatively obliges, it's cold like ceramic, and Legacy trills in amazement, soft fur ruffling up as he curiously sniffs your cheek and hair, caution entirely forgotten in the face of a potential new friend

after that, you're never apart. wherever Legacy goes, you go, and vice versa. he keeps you safe, repairs any cracks you have, and you do the same for wounds and gashes. you tell him the stories of what you've seen on the surface world with him gently curled around you, listening with awe and intrigue. Legacy fights for you, purring happily when you clap at the sight of electricity and water snapping and shifting around him. every night you sleep like death, unmoving and cold- do you even need sleep? he wonders, but simply cradles you carefully in his arm, rumbling for you in your dreams. slowly, that cavernous hole in your chest begins to fill, the hum of elemental energy glowing ever brighter with your adoration for this curious Abyssal creature. you make for a strange pair together, a beast and a porcelain doll, but perhaps you can be peculiar together

[slifarianhawk]

Chapter 27: What I Lost

As we returned to the base, Albert sat me down. Arjuna and Nighthawk raced up to greet me and Wesker.

"My lady, are you alright? Thank you for keeping an eye on her lord Wesker." Arjuna said, bowing gently.

"Yeah, boss, you gave us quite the scare there. I was quite worried we were going to have to shatter you out with a chisel." Nighthawk said candidly.

"One, you should never chisel me out when I'm in that state. At that point, I'm a dangerous B.O.W. Second, you should have made sure our V.I.Ps were secure, which I saw you do. Now, where is Ms. Gionne?" I asked.

"She is upstairs in her room, my lady. I shall fetch her later, for now, we have Dr. Cordell and his wife tied up how you ordered." Arjuna said.

"Good, now lock down the containment unit and only let me and Albert in the room, and Excella, you, and Nighthawk can watch Arjuna," I said, sighing in a relatively uncomfortable way.

It has been a very long time since I had tortured someone. Not since Sergei commanded me to torture some random traitor who leaked the location of the Russian facility to the local authorities. Now that I think about it, that is probably how Chris and Jill probably found the place. Same as Albert.

I froze the memory of the blazing pain that pierced my chest. Albert noticed my grimace and placed his hand on my shoulder.  I turned my head to see his signature. I quickly jerk away. His smirk dropped and a look of concern grew on his face.

"Tabitha are you alright my love." He asked grasping my chin and pulling me towards him.

"No, I'm not. Let's go to the decontamination chamber. I'll show you there."  I pulled away again a little more forcefully.

We walked through the base to the containment chamber. I was saluted as I walked past my many agents. Albert followed close behind me. When we arrived at the decontamination shower, I dismissed Archer and Nighthawk and locked down the decontamination showers.

"I know we have not been back together very long dearheart, but I've felt the same about you since our wedding day. You are the only person in the world who I could love wholeheartedly." Albert said pulling me into his arms.

"I know. It is just Vladimir still has his claws sunk in my heart. For years upon years, I heard how much you must have despised me. The years of constant rape, experimentation, and manipulation led me down a dark path." I said moving away and turning on the shower.

"I know Tabitha. I was in the same boat, William called me and told me you had died. That it was Sergei. I should have found you sooner." He said unbuttoning his shirt.

"I have something to show you, my love. One of the abilities of the angelis virus-infected is cell manipulation. I use it to hide things about my body. Call it vain or whatever but I can't stand the sight of these." I said stripping my clothes off and black shards of silica fell off revealing extensive scarring from the U.B.C.S. tattoo removal to where Vladimir carved his name into my flesh. The hideous burns along my legs and a massive gash along my right eye. The most prominent one was five puncture wound scars near my heart.

Albert snarled at the sight and pulled me back into his arms falling back into the shower. His sunglasses were on the floor smashed as if they had been stomped on. My head laid close to his heart and it was racing. I felt Albert's chest rise and fall rapidly.

"Albert, are you alright?" I asked quickly rolling to face him.

His eyes were full of tears and glowing ruby red. he placed his hand on the scars above my heart, "These were caused by when I shot you. I'm pissed with that damn bastard for all this, but I can't forgive myself for what I did to you."

I quickly kissed him. I poured my love into the kiss using my strength to lift the both of us into a sitting position me straddling his hips my chest pressed into his. The warm water caresses our bodies gently as I release the kiss meeting his gaze with my own. 

"We have a lot we will have to work through but give it enough time my love and we will be the unstoppable force we were before, so no need for those contractions, my godly king," I said wiping the last of the tears from his eyes.

"What I Lost was nothing compared to what you went through, my dearest lotus flower," Albert said his blazing red eyes meeting my chilling blue.

"What matters now is we rebuild our relationship my beloved Albert Wesker,"  I said stroking a few wet pieces of hair out of his eyes.

"You are right my treasured Tabitha Wesker," Albert said pulling my head back into his chest.

I blushed feeling his thick member through his silken boxers. I tried to push him away but he held me close and smirked.  His cock slowly hardened.

"Albert here?" I asked shyly.

"Why not dear heart I know you locked the doors and it's not like there are any windows in here." He said biting down on my neck his teeth sinking into the junction between my neck and shoulder.

I gasped as he quickly shoved two fingers into my mouth.

"Shhh, my sweet lotus you would not want your agents to hear now would you, my love," He said with a dark chuckle leaving his throat.

He released his bite and blood trickled down my shoulder. A light smell of blood permeated the air. I didn't know how bad the bite was I just knew Albert was quickly lapping up the blood. His sadistic side was showing. When the wound sealed up Albert pulled his fingers from my mouth.

"My lotus I am going to ravage your pretty little body. I want to make you beg for release dear lotus. I will make you cum all over my face." He said laying me on the floor of the massive shower. he lifted my legs onto his well-defined shoulders and lowered his head down into my folds.

With a simple quick movement, Albert's tongue was on my clit flicking it side to side, "I will show you how much you mean to me dearheart."

He shoved his two fingers that were in my mouth deep into my pussy. He lowered his head back down resuming his original actions. Panting, I gripped his hair and lightly pulled at it. His tongue rapidly licked my clit making my vision hazy.

His fingers danced about inside my tightening snatch, curling up and grazing that spongy textured spot. I stared up gazing upon my godly husband's smirk as he added his third and fourth fingers.

I bit my lip, suppressing the moan that was starting to build in my throat.  I was in bliss I didn't even notice Albert's other hand reach up for my perky nipples. With a swift motion, he pinched and rolled my left nipple between his fingers. I gasped at the pain as it drove me closer to the edge. My tongue started to hang out as I moaned out losing control of my vocal cords.

"That's my lotus. So adorable making lewd sounds and faces. Such a beautiful slut and it is all for me. Now cum for me slut, let me taste your lovely juices, pet."

His usage of my old bdsm name drove me over the edge. He made me feel amazing and like Sergei's touch was never there. The coil in my lower stomach snapped and I came all over his fingers and face.

"Good pet," Albert smirked pulling out his fingers and licking them clean. He lifted me into his arms and cradled me in the hot water of the shower.

"You know, this reminds me of the time Anette almost caught us at the neighborhood pool shower." I chuckled lightly.

"Well, now we have a new memory we can share, my precious lotus," Albert said setting me down and pumping shampoo from the wall dispenser," now close your eyes, relax, and let me wash your hair."

I laughed and smiled kindly pumping soap into my hands."Then let me wash the cum off your face."

Yay, some soft fluff some sensual moments and some easy dirty fun. Next chapter we will be dealing with decently dark content and gore just for a heads up. I hope ya'll have a great day and continue to enjoy Resident Evil: Arch Angel. My name is Silfarianhawk and I'm not so far away

[tumsa]

i didn’t plan to write more but my hand slipped. i blame @snailsweater​ for being so sweet in the tags, and maybe billie eilish a little bit for writing the 'i love you' song that ends me every time i hear it. and tumblr user kinnbig who talks about big and makes my poor little heart ache. my love language is writing random stuff in people's dms (or posts), and i am not even sorry.

- - - "You're an idiot," Chan says because the nurse is too polite to do that. Big's abdomen feels like it's been lit on fire, but the fresh dressing is stark white and sterile, and Big can recount all the things used to clean his wounds and how it happened. He thinks, hopes he can do it for Ken now.

"Sorry," he says because he cannot say, "I tore my stitches while cleaning the staircase so my neighbours don't freak out and call the police."

"What happened?" Chan, of course, asks. He does sound more worried than suspicious. It's the first time they've seen each other since Big got shot, since Big willingly took a bullet in hopes that Tawan could not destroy Kinn's life again. Big looks away before he encounters pity in Chan's gaze.

He doesn't know how to lie to Chan. It feels like lying to Kinn too much. It feels like walking on a tightrope made of razor blades.

"I want more time off," he finally says. It's not untruth, but it's not something Big would ever say. He never asks for anything, never wants anything other than protect Kinn, he expects Chan to shoot him just then and there.

But Chan just looks at him for a long time, then coughs, clears his throat and sounds almost choked up when he says: "You could have just asked, Big. You saved Porsche’s life, Khun Kinn will give you anything you want, kid."

Somehow it feels worse than a bullet for betrayal would have.

- - - Ken is asleep when Big returns. He is pale, almost lifeless, but his chest moves slowly with each inhale and exhale. He looks dead and still might die, Big knows. There might be internal bleeding, blood loss, infection. There might also be a bullet from Kinn or Vegas. Or Big might wrap his hands around Ken's throat and squeeze until there's no life left.

Don't let your emotions distract you from work, Chan would say, so Big unpacks everything and puts it on a plastic tray, on the mattress. He washes his hands with scolding hot water and soap that smells like the hospital and puts on gloves.

He works slowly to ensure he gets things right, and because his stomach still burns, even sitting on the floor next to the mattress feels like it's taking too much strength. One by one, with long pauses in between, Big cleans the gashes, wipes away the dried blood, and removes the makeshift dressing he did earlier from kitchen towels. He stitches up the more extensive wounds, trying to repeat the pattern he saw the nurse doing and mostly failing. They will scar horribly, he thinks before he remembers that Ken probably won't live that long.

He has to stop to drink water and take painkillers for his own wounds. He finds some protein bars that are not expired in a cupboard and eats one of them mindlessly. He starts to cry when putting on a new pair of rubber gloves; when he returns to the bedroom, and Ken still looks like a broken body with no life left in it.

"I hate you," he whispers as he struggles to put on the dressing around Ken's stomach and chest. He is heavy, and lifting him pulls at Big's stitches, and the bandage keeps slipping, and Big would punch him if there was a patch of skin not covered in cuts on Ken's body.

"I hate you so much," he says again, using a damp cloth to clean Ken's face.

"I wish I had never met you," when cleaning the incisions around Ken's cheek and eye.

"I hope you die," through more tears when Ken doesn't wake up and open his good eye.

- - - It's dark outside when Big wakes up. He lets go of Ken's wrist and turns on the small lamp on the floor next to the mattress. He never bought a bed or a nightstand table, and he never will now, not when he might not live until the end of the month.

Ken is awake. He is looking at Big, and his gaze looks hollow. Big gets the water bottle and painkillers he left beside the lamp. Ken takes the pills and lets Big give him water.

"If you want me to leave," Ken starts, and Big laughs. It's a bitter and nasty laugh, and Ken winces. Big is pretty sure Ken could not even get up from the mattress.

"If you pull the stitches," he says, because he spent hours patching Ken together, "I will call Vegas myself."

"As if you have his number," Ken says.

"But you do."

Ken looks away, and Big regrets being mean. He thinks about Kinn, how he got cold and vicious after he shot Tawan years ago, and how Kinn built a wall, leaving Big on the other side. He thinks about how Ken could always find a way to make Big laugh when Kinn scolded him for making mistakes. How Ken kissed him when Kinn wouldn't. How Ken-

"You need rest," he says, trying to sound less sour. They have never been gentle with each other; Big doesn't know how to be soft and kind. But he does know how to protect someone he loves. "Take the other pills, those are for infection. I'll get us some food."

He leaves the bedroom, pretending not to see tears on Ken's face, and closes the door behind him with a soft click. Not for the first time, he wonders how he got here, willing to take a bullet for the person behind the trigger.

Big takes a deep breath, then another. Food first, he thinks, then transport, money, and a safe place next. He will fall apart later when they escape the country, when Ken is safe.

He exhales and gets to work.

*smooches you on the cheek* i hope you have a lovely day!

- - -

"Who is the new guy?" 

Big regrets the question the moment it leaves his dumb mouth because Chan tilts his head and looks at him with knowing eyes. 

"Big," he says, and his voice is stern. His eyes are steely, and Big can feel them unravel everything he is trying to hide away; everything he promised wouldn't be a problem.

A few meters away from them, Kinn laughs so openly and joyously that it stings. 

Chan sighs and turns back to his tablet. Only when Big turns to leave he says: "His name is Tawan."

The way Kinn looks at Tawan makes Big sick. The way Tawan looks at Kinn makes an uneasy feeling crawl into Big's gut. 

- - -

"Who is the new guy?" 

The new guy is sitting at the edge of the pool and grinning. His dark hair is dripping water everywhere as he runs his fingers through them all pretend casual. He winks at Pete, whose record so far has been undefeated, and Big thinks he looks like a certified fuckboy.

"Ken," Arm whispers, quiet enough so Ken cannot hear them. And then, because Arm likes to gossip, he adds: "He's been staring at you all morning."

Big glances up and catches Ken's eyes on him. There is a pink flush on Ken's cheeks as he bites his lip and quickly looks away. 

"Cute," Arm says next to him, and Big bites the inside of his cheek to stop the stupid smile that wants to sneak onto his face. He feels warm. Nobody has ever looked at Big like that.

- - -

"Take the day off," Ken pleads again. He has argued about this all morning, talked about how Big needs a break, how he looks exhausted and how Ken knows he didn't sleep well. "Come on, mate, just today."

Big sighs. "I can't, not with Tawan being here."

"Please," Ken says in English, and it startles Big. Not the English, as Ken constantly swears in it, but the way Ken sounds distressed, the way he looks at Big with wide eyes, and the way his fingers are gripping Big's arm so tightly that there will be bruises. 

"Is everything okay?" Big asks because he knows he is missing something, something important. Ken is shaking as he lets go of Big's arm like it physically pains him to move his fingers, and then he smiles. It doesn't reach his eyes, and he looks down before Big can see them.

"Forget about it. It's fine," Ken says, and his voice is raspy. "Just don't do anything stupid because of Tawan."

Big cannot guarantee that, so instead, he says: "I'll see you later tonight."

Later, when Big takes a bullet aimed at Porsche, he wishes he wouldn't have made a promise he couldn't keep.

Later, when Chan says, "Ken was working for Vegas", Big wishes Tawan was a better shooter.

- - -

Big's apartment looks as sad and pathetic as he feels. He doesn't spend time here more than once a month, doesn't share it with anyone, and never bothered to furnish it properly. He sits on the sofa and stares at the empty wall because there's nothing else to do, nowhere else for him to be. He feels hollow, wonders if the doctors put him back together wrong.

"Take a week off," Kinn has said, voice sincere and sad. "You deserve it."

"I should have known," Big had whispered, trying to hold back his tears, and wondered if that's how Tawan's betrayal felt. And then, because he couldn't stop thinking about it, he had said: "He wanted me to take a day off." Kinn had patted his shoulder awkwardly before leaving. 

Big wonders if he can just sleep for a week, if any of the painkillers can do that for him, or if he can get his hands on some sleep medicine or something.

The knock on the door startles him.

He gets up slowly. His stomach still hurts, and so does his arm. He leaves the gun on the coffee table. If anyone wants to kill him, Big thinks, he wouldn't mind. He opens the door.

Ken is bleeding. His face is purple and bruised, and one of his eyes is swollen shut. His shirt is soaked with blood, and it's dripping everywhere. He is trembling.

"I didn't know where else to go," he finally whispers, voice hoarse and broken.

Big feels like he is being shot all over again. He wants to slam the door close, he wants to get the gun he left behind and kill Ken himself. He wants to ask why, he doesn't want to know the answer, but mostly he just wants to pretend that nothing has changed, that everything will be alright. Slowly he moves and opens the door wider. 

"Come in," he says.

anon i am smooching you on the mouth i can’t believe you just dropped this masterpiece anonymously in my ask box i am emotionally devastated. come back pls i’m losing my mind?!

[levi-my-beloved]

Birds of a Feather

Chapter 5

Pairings: Canon!Levi x F!Reader

Content Warnings: Violence, open wound (minor), smut, oral (m and f receiving), thigh riding, fingering, unprotected sex, masturbation (m), virgin!Levi, virgin!reader, mutual virginity loss, tooth rotting fluff, gets a little angtsy towards the end.

Word Count: 13.2K

Summary: You were the most notorious criminal in The Underground City. With your organisation of highly skilled professionals, only one man could take you down. He also happened to be Humanity’s Strongest... and your ex.

Previous Chapter

First Chapter

Series Masterlist

A/N: oh my god picking out those words and selecting them individually to bolden them cuz tumblr doesn’t know how to copy and paste correctly was TEDIOUS. it gives the effect i wanted but jfc tumblr learn how to copy and paste bold and italics jeez. this was definitely the most fun chapter, as you shall see. this was supposed to contain more than just smut but i got super carried away and it would have been like, 22K if i paired it with the next one, so the next chapter will take a little longer, but i’ll make a post about that separately after this one. hope you all enjoy!

18+ MINORS DNI

𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔

“Levi?! You fucking idiot, you could have died!” it was the last thing you’d expected to come back to after a few days away. After spending some time with the strange man who took you in three years ago, Viper, he called himself, you were excited to come back to the small house you had with your best, and possibly only, friend outside The Nest.

What you weren’t expecting was to find him, propped up against the small wooden table in the centre of the room, shirtless, slowly bleeding out through his shoulder. You didn’t know where the other two were, and in fact, that was your first question.

“Where the hell are Isobel and Farlan, and why the fuck haven’t they sorted you out?” you stormed across the room, setting your bag down on one of the kitchen chairs before assessing his injury.

“First of all… I didn’t die. Second of all… shit… they’re out buying ODM parts after Isa’s shitty landing the other day, and th-fuck-thirdly, this only happened today. They’d just left when I got back,” Levi grit his teeth as you gently prodded the wound. Shit this fucking hurt. It was a stab wound from a shitty bartender in a shitty part of town who decided he didn’t like Levi’s shitty attitude. Honestly, looking back…

He couldn’t blame him.

You sighed, running a hand through your hair.

“You’re a fucking idiot,”

“You’ve said that already,”

“This isn’t funny, Levi,” you huffed, turning to rifle through the bag you’d haphazardly dumped on the chair. You’d never been so thankful for Viper’s weird yet wonderful survival lessons. Over the last three days, he’d taught you basic medical training. You had no idea how the fuck he knew how to apply a tourniquet or sew wounds, but you never questioned the man. He reminded you of your father in some ways.

Just a little more violent.

“Stay still, it needs to be cleaned,” you brought out a small bottle of whiskey, a gift from one of Viper’s associates. His “Shadows”, or something.

Levi narrowed his eyes as you began taking out various pieces of equipment, and couldn’t help but raise his eyebrows at the expensive looking bottle.

“Where the fuck did you get these things, (Y/N)?” he breathed, glancing between the medical supplies and your face. Levi hated how he didn’t know what you did. He didn’t know where you went for days, and it worried him when you didn’t return when you said you would. He was always worried about you. Instantly missing the warmth of your smile as soon as you left.

“That’s not important right now. I need you to hold still, this is going to hurt,” his face heated slightly as you searched him, that apologetic guilt in your expression made him want to hold you and tell you everything was okay.

But he wouldn’t.

Because you two were friends.

And had been for years.

Despite his budding feelings, he would never cross that line with you.

Unless you wanted to, of course…

“It’s fine. Do what you gotta do,” he responded flatly, choosing instead to find the wooden skirting board incredibly interesting to look at. Much more interesting than your face.

He couldn’t stop the pained hiss that escaped his mouth as the piercing sting of alcohol in a fresh wound clouded his mind for a moment, fist clenching as his eyes screwed shut.

“I’msorryI’msorryI’msorry,” you muttered under your breath, hating every second of pain you were putting him through. But you had to clean the wound, and you had nothing else to use. You silently thanked the man called Wolf for the burning liquor, not expecting to use it in quite a way. Screwing the lid back on the amber bottle, you set it to one side, gently dabbing the torn flesh with a cotton bud.

“Levi, this is going to need stitches. Shit, what were you stabbed with, a fucking sword?” This was one of the things he loved most about you. No matter how dire or stressful the situation, you could always crack a joke, even whilst keeping a straight face.

“Kitchen knife. Pretty standard for the tavern–”

“THAT MOTHERFUCKER AGAIN?” yeah, this wasn’t the first time Levi had been met with problems from that place.

“Yeah, him. Got me good this time,” Levi almost laughed at your look of subdued rage. He knew how much you hated that owner. But that amusement was quelled when your rage was replaced with something he couldn’t quite decipher.

He let the silence drag on as you retrieved a small needle and thread, not even questioning where you learnt how to do this.

“Sorry, this will hurt again, but not as much,” you warned him, your tone having dropped several notches to something almost melancholic. Angling the needle next to the tender flesh, you waited for his nod until you continued, trying to concentrate throughout the whirling guilt.

He’d gotten himself hurt. Again.

And you weren’t there for him.

Again.

“I’m sorry, Levi,” you whispered, pulling the thread through the wound, slowly closing the gaping tear.

“‘S’fine, I didn’t even feel it,”

“N-no, not that. I’m sorry I wasn’t here. Again,” this was the thing he hated most about you. You had a habit of blaming yourself for things you couldn’t control. You always felt like you had to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders, and you always felt like you had to do it alone. It always took Levi some time and a long, long conversation to convince you that you weren’t alone.

“(Y/N), stop,” you immediately pulled back, scared you may have hurt him.

“Sorry! I didn’t realise it was hurting, i’ll try–”

“No. Stop,” he took both your hands in his own, making you raise your eyes to him. “You know thinking like that is pointless because I always manage to get it through your thick skull that I am in fact, not your responsibility, okay? It’s my job to get stabbed, to get shot and have random glass bottles thrown at me. It’s what happens when you steal a bunch of shit and sell it on. So quit thinking like you have to look after me. It should be the other way around,”

“Why? Because you’re a man?” your small, mischievous grin told him he managed to get his message across.

“No, brat. Not because I’m a man,” he stopped that sentence there, for he feared if he’d continued, he wouldn’t have been able to stop himself from confessing how hard he’d fallen for you over the last eight years.

You took his continued silence as a sign that the conversation was over. He had slightly lessened the guilt constricting your heart as you returned to stitching up the gash. It would definitely leave a scar, since you weren’t exactly adept at using a needle and thread yet, but at least he wouldn't bleed out now.

Finishing the final stitch, you cut the thread with a small pocket knife, tossing the blade on the table whilst you reached for the small roll of bandages. You think Viper would be proud of your work.

“This is about as sterile as we’ll find down here,” you comment absentmindedly, stretching out the bandage and applying it over his shoulder and across chest to secure it. You tried to ignore the subtle blush dusting your cheeks as his hard muscle flexed beneath your touch. You tried to ignore the almost mouth watering sight of his shirtless body when you first entered the room. Fuck, you’d tried to ignore the butterflies in your stomach when he took your hands. Tried to ignore how honest he looked.

You tried to ignore how much you’d fallen in love with him.

But Levi was nothing if not observant. He saw the gentle rose petals blooming across your face, smirking slightly to himself at your reaction. Maybe…

Just maybe…

You two could cross that line.

He found himself missing your presence so close to him when you pulled back to admire your work.

“There. All done. Don’t move it too much because if you pull those stitches, I will hold a knife to your throat and you will apologise,” Levi rolled his eyes at your empty threats, internally chuckling at how over dramatic you could be sometimes. “Oh, and rub this salve into it if it starts to hurt. It’s a herbal recipe, supposed to help numb pain,” you left the small tin tub on the table whilst you continued to repack your bag of the supplies Viper had gifted you.

Levi’s eyes followed your movements as you effortlessly reached for the second roll of untouched bandages on the table. It was such a simple movement, but the way your loose shirt untucked from your leather pants, showing just a teasing amount of skin, had him readjusting how he was sitting. Shit you were beautiful. Since you’d both been managing to gain somewhat of an income, you’d been able to afford more food. He marvelled in the way you’d filled out a bit, your own lithe frame rippling with muscle. Granted, you were still dangerously skinny, but that was to be expected down here.

Packing away the final set of stitches, you collapsed onto a chair, once again running a hand through your hair before cringing at the repeated action. You really needed to stop doing that, or your hair would go greasy.

Looking at the small fireplace kettle, you returned your gaze to Levi, who you noticed was still shirtless, and didn’t seem to have any interest in covering up anytime soon. You felt your face heat up for a second, before distracting yourself with something else.

“Tea? I feel like you could do with one,” you grinned playfully, already knowing he would say yes and rising from your seat.

Until you were forcefully shoved back down.

“I’ll get it. You’ve done more than enough,” Levi felt bad expecting you to make him tea as well, but you just didn’t know when to quit. Removing his hand from your shoulder, you stood up, now close enough to either kill him;

Or kiss him.

“Not happening. You almost bled out a few moments ago. I’m not letting you do anything, shortstuff,” you raised an eyebrow, as if daring him to challenge you. Which of course, he did. But not without smirking at the ironic nickname.

“I damaged my shoulder, brat. I’m not crippled. I can make tea for fuck sakes,” there was never really any malice when the two of you argued like this. It was a more playful back and forth.

It was only when the breath of your laugh reached his face did he realise how close you were and the two of you fell into a strangely comfortable silence, subconsciously admiring one another. Only, his view of your face was slightly obstructed.

Levi hesitantly brushed a strand of hair back behind your ear, his hand hovering by the side of your neck. You could see nothing but admiration in his steely, maelstrom hues. Admiration, and something else you were sure you were reciprocating in your own gaze.

It was only then it occured to you.

And you didn’t know how’d you’d been so stupid to miss it.

Levi loved you.

Just as much as you loved him.

“I was worried about you today,” Levi murmured, prying apart the silence as his hand now rested comfortably on the side of your neck. He hadn’t missed what he’d seen in your eyes. A glassy reflection of his own feelings.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to come back late. I just got caught up in some things,” your whisper carried so much tension he was tempted to grab the knife from the table and attempt to slice the air.

But he didn’t.

Instead, he opted to rest his other hand on your waist, gently pulling you closer to his body.

“Will you ever tell me where you disappear off to?” The question held no weight. He knew that if you wanted to tell him, you would. He also knew that you needed your privacy sometimes, and this was just one of those things you didn’t talk about. He just hated how his mind would race when you didn’t come back.

Your heart was almost beating out of your chest, pulse quickening to something you didn’t think possible as the hand on your waist caused goosebumps to prickle your skin. You learnt into his touch as his palm came up to cup your face, thumb tracing the apple of your cheek.

“One day, maybe,” you replied, your hand mimicking his own as you reached up slightly to smooth over his eyebrow, he in return mirrored your response, leaning into your touch. You stayed like this for what felt like years, until he spoke up again with a question that let loose all the caged butterflies in your stomach.

“(Y/N)... can I kiss you?”

Your lips parted as you let out a breath, unable to contain your smile of pure adoration as you nodded a little shyly.

“Yes,” Levi wasted no time. As soon as you managed to form a response, his lips were on yours. You gasped slightly against his mouth, arms moving on their own to wrap around the back of his neck and hold him close.

The hand on your waist extended to embrace your lower back as your lips moulded against one another.

Fuck, he’d dreamt of this moment for so long. And it was so much better than he ever imagined. Levi elicited a breathy moan as you ran your tongue along his bottom lip, silently asking for permission to explore his mouth. Something he was all too eager to accept, eyes rolling as he felt your slick muscle brush against his.

Your hands travelled to thread through his hair as you subtly pushed him back to the chair he’d stood from. He seemed to get the hint, bringing you down with him as he sat, pulling you to straddle his lap.

You drew circles with your nails in his undercut, once again drawing another delightful, gravelly groan from his throat, lips still hungrily devouring his.

It was only until you felt his hardening manhood grind against your slickening folds did a thought occur to you, and you had no choice but to pull back.

“Shit, what about Isobel and Farlan?” it wasn’t a question he put much thought into answering, especially when you were scratching his undercut like that.

“Won’t be back for a few hours,” he mumbled, before reclaiming your mouth in an ever deepening kiss. You whimpered softly as he began to roam your body with his hands, grasping at your waist as you started to rock gently against his tented crotch, relishing the noises he made.

“Ah– (Y/N), sh-shit,” you peppered featherlight kisses along his jawline, stopping briefly to suck his earlobe into your mouth, his soft gasp only fueling your arousal.

His pants grew to whines as you moved down his neck, suckling and biting where you saw fit, leaving purple blemishes across his soft skin. His lengthy moan set your skin ablaze when you found his pulse point, licking a stripe up his neck before sucking on the sensitive spot.

By now, Levi was painfully hard. Wanting nothing more than to free his aching cock from it’s cloth prison. But you were the one in charge here, and he was more than happy to continue at your pace.

As long as you didn’t take too long.

He started thumbing the buttons on your shirt free, dragging it off your shoulders as you continued to leave marks along his collarbones. The clothing was quickly discarded, along with the bralet one of Viper’s escorts gifted you. Levi didn’t have time to admire your breasts within the delicate lace before it was thrown to the floor along with your shirt.

Pride swelled in Levi’s chest as you mewled against his skin, his hands gently kneading your now exposed mounds. He loved how your nipples instantly pebbled beneath his touch, rolling the sensitive nub between his thumb and forefinger, smirking at your hisses.

“Fuck, Levi– shit that feels good,” your praise only made him harder as you sat up, wanting to feel his mouth against yours again. But Levi had other plans.

As soon as you raised your head from the crook of his neck, Levi ducked down and sucked one of your nipples into his mouth. You cried out, back arching into his touch, hips bucking involuntarily. Levi groaned against your breast, the vibrations only adding to the sensation.

Your hands once again found his hair, gently encouraging him to keep going, his own hand rolling your other bud.

Levi switched sides, showing your neglected mound the same kind of treatment, and you couldn’t stop the stream of breathy gasps and desperate whimpers as he showered your breasts in physical praise, making a mental note of every reaction you made to his touch.

Finally you grew impatient, wanting to show him as much love as he was showing you. Your hands withdrew from his hair and you almost laughed at his disappointed huff around your pebbled nipple.

“Don’t worry, I think you’ll like this more,” your voice wasn’t one you recognised. It was lower, breathier. You’d never heard yourself sound like this before.

But what almost broke your resolve was the sound of his voice, showing you just how much your actions had affected him.

“Oh? But I was rather enjoying myself. I think i’ll just continue doing– oh fuck,” Levi threw his head back, eyes screwed shut in pleasure as you palmed his length through his pants. Shit, your mouth watered at the feel of him. Harder than steel and girthy. You briefly wondered how he tasted, that particular spark fueling your next movements.

Slowly sliding from his lap, you left a wet trail of kisses down his chest, careful to avoid the wound in his shoulder. Your lips nipped at each of his abs individually before continuing down to the prominent V in his naval, tongue caressing the small dips directing you down to your goal, Levi encouraging you every step of the way with his sharp breaths and small groans.

Pushing apart his knees, you settled in between his thighs, grinning slyly as he looked down at you, wide eyed. His expression settled for a moment, hand coming to rest against the side of your face.

“(Y/N), you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to. I’m more than happy with how far we’ve gone today. I don’t want to force you into doing anything with me if you’re not ready,” your heart almost fell to pieces at the sound of his concerned, yet still gravelly voice. Your coy smile softened to something so genuine and loving, Levi thought he had died.

“Trust me, I want to do this. I’ve wanted to do this for so long, Levi,” you gently caressed his thighs, reassuring him that what you were doing, and what you were about to do, was something you’d longed for.

Levi’s smile was nothing short of angelic. He gently stroked your hair, and despite the heat of the moment, he still managed to make you feel so loved.

“Alright, but if you want to stop at any point, please tell me. I don’t want to make you feel obligated to carry on just because of me, okay?” you nodded happily at his words, giving his leg a small squeeze.

“I promise. Now shut up and let me suck your dick,” Levi laughed breathlessly, tilting up your chin as he leant down to capture your lips in a swift, affectionate kiss.

“You’re filthy,”

“Your fault,” you grinned, subtly fiddling with his belt.

“How is any of this my-ah fuck,” Levi cut himself off as he felt your hand gently grind on his length over his pants, the friction causing him to elicit the most gorgeous whimpers. You could definitely get addicted to the sounds he made.

“Nngh– shit, shitshitshit (Y/N) I– a-ah,” Levi stopped trying to form words as you slowly pulled down the offending clothing, leaving him in just his shorts, cock tenting painfully. You helped him kick his pants from his legs, joining the pile of clothes you’d made as you kept palming his dick. Neither of you had done anything like this before, both being too busy to engage in any sexual activity, but you felt like you already knew what to do. Acting off instinct, you adored his little shiver as you finally freed his length, your own folds slickening at the sight of his leaking manhood.

“Shit Levi, you’re gorgeous,” the compliment slipped out before you could rein it in, Levi’s cheeks heating slightly as your words reached his ears.

“Th-thank you,”

Your eyes took immediate interest in a rather prominent vein pulsing along the underside of his cock, and once again you couldn’t help but wonder how he tasted.

Levi couldn’t think straight. He’d touched himself before, jerking himself off when his hormones deemed it necessary, but he’d never felt anything like this. And when you took a hold of his length, he felt as if every nerve in his body had set alight. His eyes screwed shut instinctively, unable to suppress the breathy moan of ecstasy.

You started to slowly stroke up and down tentatively, watching the different expressions he made. You never thought he could look so needy, and yet here he was, mouth hanging open, brows knitted, eyes closed, a gentle flush dusting his cheeks. You smiled slightly at his breathless pants, taking note of how his breath hitched when you circled his leaking tip with your thumb, smearing his precum across his over his pulsing cock.

His hips bucked unapologetically, back arching into your touch as you squeezed him experimentally.

“Fuck…! Fucking— HAH, a-aah, oh my god… (Y/N), what’re you— FUCK… fuck, ‘feels so— nngh, feelssogood,” Levi’s words slurred as his head lolled back, sweat starting to bead on his brow. He didn’t know what to do with his hands, switching between gripping the table next to him and hovering around your head.

You hadn’t even taken him in your mouth yet, and he was already reacting so well to your touch. You watched him physically relax as you let him go, giving him some time to recover before you’d take it further.

“'M’gonna take you in my mouth, okay? Tell me if it’s too much or if you want me to slow down,” you rested your head against his inner thigh, admiring his fucked out expression as he nodded, his bangs sticking to the slick of his forehead. You could stare at him like this for hours, committing every part of his face to memory. But the temptation to show him how good you could make him feel was far too great.

Leaning forward, you gripped around the length of his cock, delivering a few kitten licks to the tip, relishing in the responsive jolt of his sensitive body. Shit you were wet, it was taking all of your willpower not to reach down and pleasure yourself. You knew your matching underwear was likely ruined, quickly lamenting the loss of such an expensive gift, but that thought was quickly extinguished as you ran your tongue along that delicious looking vein you’d clocked earlier.

“SHIT, oh fuck, ohfuckohfuckohfuck, (Y/N)... shit, (Y/NNNNN),” just as you thought your own arousal couldn’t grow any further, he whined your name and you almost came there and then. Smirking against his dick, you leant forward just a little more, and engulfed his tip in your mouth, slowly taking more of him.

Levi’s hips bucked into your warmth, unable to stop himself as his brain was completely consumed by the sheer, mind-shattering pleasure. He’d decided this was nothing like getting himself off. This was something completely different. This was on a whole other level.

When you had taken as much as you could of his length in your mouth, you started to bob up and down, hollowing your cheeks as you pulled back to suck on his tip, before engulfing him again.

You could have sworn he almost screamed.

“Aaa-ah, you’re… you’re so– nngh, so good at this, HAH-aah, w-wait, fuck, s-slow down. ‘M gonna’– AH, ‘m gonna’ cum,” you did as he asked, taking your mouth of his raging length, gently caressing the base with your thumb as you waited for his laboured breaths to calm.

“Take your time, baby. Let me know when you’re ready,” even in his foggy, aroused state, he was still able to squint down at you with a brow raised at the new pet name. He couldn’t say he didn’t like it though, looking at your swollen, shining lips slick with your saliva and his pearly essence.

“Fuck (Y/N), you’re fucking stunning, look at you,” Levi tenderly held the side of your face, thumb smoothing over your eyebrow as he regarded you with such fondness. He hissed as you jerked his length in retaliation.

“Don’t be so cute, it’s not allowed whilst I’m sucking you off,”

“Technically you weren’t, you were waiting for me,”

“Oh is that how you want to do this?” you eyed him mischievously, and before Levi could even respond, you took his entire, swollen length down your throat, gagging a little at the intrusion before slowly getting used to him.

Whatever Levi was about to say died on his tongue as the tip of his cock brushed the back of your throat. He had no choice but to surrender to the pleasure threatening to shatter his mind, his mouth falling open as you swallowed around his sensitive tip.

“Shit…! Oh fuck, oh fuck, (Y/N)– nngh, haaah, ah, fuck, don’t stop. Don’t… don’t stop,” Levi panted, only just able to form cohesive words as you continue to take him down your tight, warm throat. He sandwiched his bottom lip between his teeth, biting almost hard enough to draw blood.

Tears started to line your lashes as you suppress your gag reflex, swirling your tongue along the underside of his length. Your eyes rolled back as his hands found your hair, not to push you onto him, but just so he didn’t completely lose himself in the pleasure.

The vibrations in the back of your throat as you moaned only heightened the sensation, and Levi wasn’t able to take much more.

“Hhhh, (Y-Y/N), m-move away, i’m -shit- i’m gonna cum, i’m gonna fucking cum!” but you didn’t move, instead opting to moan more wantanly, lapping at his cock and swallowing him down your throat, your hands coming up to rub and cup his rapidly tightening balls. His thighs began to shake as he came undone, back arching completely off the chair. His head was thrown back as you watched his Adam's apple bob through wet lashes.

“Ah, hnng– a-AH, FUCK (Y/NNN)!!” Levi came with a broken, desperate cry of your name on his lips, his salty seed shooting down your throat. His hands tightened in your hair, clinging on for dear life as you milked him through his orgasm, sucking him dry.

It wasn’t until he’d completely emptied himself into your mouth did he collapse back on the chair, breathing as if he’d just run a marathon.

You released him from your mouth with a pop, tenderly kissing his tip clean before rising to check the state of your partner.

“Levi?” you giggled, moving to carefully straddle his lap so you could take his face in your hands. He looked completely spent, head heavy as he lazily grasped your waist. “You alright?” you thought your question fell on deaf ears, until he cracked an eye open.

“Honestly? I don’t know. I think you broke me,” you laughed at his tired, satisfied smile, brushing his sweat slickened locks from his forehead to lean against him.

“Was that okay?” you asked, searching his face for an answer. The grin he gave sent butterflies to your stomach and heat to your already throbbing core.

“Are you serious? Yes, that was okay. That was more than okay. It was incredible,” he gently wiped away any salty tears from below your lash line. “You’re incredible,” Levi leant up to capture your lips in a tender, loving kiss. It didn’t quite have the same heat as earlier, it felt more fueled with adoring gratitude. You pulled back a fraction.

“Who knew you could be so vocal?” you teased with a lopsided smirk, earning yourself a small, playful nip on your lower lip followed by a low, breathy laugh rumbling from his chest.

“Yeah, yeah, laugh it up brat. Not like I won’t get you back,” you hadn’t noticed his hand had trailed down to the crease in your thighs until a bolt of pleasure shocked your system as he slowly pressed his thumb to your swollen clit. “Speaking of which…” –he whispered, dark eyes searching your own– “Would you mind if I repay the favour?” Levi didn’t give you time to respond before his head ducked down below your chin, licking a long, deliberate stripe up the column of your throat. He smiled against your skin as you began to rock your hips against his hand, moaning and gasping with each movement.

“Mmn, Levi,” you breathed his name like a secret, shivering as he decorated your neck and collarbones with red and purple blossoms, leaving his mark on you.

“I liked the sounds you made when I did this,” Levi’s hand left a trail of goosebumps as he travelled from your waist, up you naval to your breasts, the pads of his fingers rolling the pebbled buds. Your needy cry caused his fingers to grind harder on your clothed clit, increasing the speed as you threw your head back, the pleasure consuming you.

“Fuck…! Levi… ‘need more… ple-HAAH, please,” you whined, lamenting the loss of friction as he guided you to stand. Your confusion was short lived when he pulled you back down to straddle one of his thighs, hands gripping your waist and encouraging you to drag your hips against him in a steady rhythm. Levi snickered against your neck as you gripped his shoulders, grinding wantanly against his muscular leg.

“Feel good?” he asked, brushing your hair back behind your ears as you nodded eagerly, too busy whimpering to form words. He could feel your slick soak through the leather of your pants before making the executive decision that you were wearing far too many clothes for his liking.

Levi deftly unclasped the front of your belt, chuckling as you refused to stop chasing your high long enough for him to pull them down.

“(Y/N), you’re gonna need to move,” his husky voice sent shivers down your spine, heightening the blissful sensation of your knot rubbing against his thigh.

“Nngh– can’t… a-aah! Feels… feels too g-good,” you were so close. That coil in your lower stomach tightening and you knew any moment, with just the right movement, it would snap and you would release all over his thigh.

Or at least, it would have done, had his strong hands not stilled your hips.

“L-Levi?! What the fuck? I was right there,” you pouted as he gently lifted you from his lap, tugging down your pants.

You felt a flair of pride as his jaw dropped at your choice of underwear, the deep red, intricately laced material covering only the bare minimum, accentuating the curve of your hips and the lean muscle of your legs.

If only you’d kept the bralet on. You’d give anything to see his expression when you rocked the set together.

“Fuck…” he breathed, standing from the chair and reaching for you as you kicked the pants from your legs. You smirked, seeing his length hardening once again.

“Hmm, like what you see?” you stepped back like a sly vixen, motioning him to come closer with a provocative finger. You saw his dick twitch in response.

“I’m going to fucking devour you,” your breath hitched in your throat as he caged you against the wall with his arms, his mouth hovering by your ear, soft whisper tickling your neck before it was replaced with his tongue sucking against your pulse point. You arched into his touch, smiling as he tried unsuccessfully to repress the small groan when your hips ground against his cock, your own clothed sex throbbing at the touch.

You’d completely forgotten about his hands until they travelled round to cup your ass, squeezing and moulding the cheeks in his palms. Your gasp spurred him on, lifting you so you could wrap your legs around his waist, both moaning as you came ever closer to each other.

Levi held you against the wall, still nipping and biting at the flesh on your neck, sucking sweet bruises into the skin. Hoisting you up with one forearm, he let the other skirt between you, the pads of his fingers finding a home against your damp folds.

“Shit you’re soaked. You’ve completely ruined these, (Y/N),” he teased, gently rubbing your clit not nearly enough for you to find your high, but enough to coerce the most delicious moans from your throat.

“Mmn, worth it,” you grinned, head tilted upwards as he attacked the hollow of your throat with his mouth. His laugh fluttered against your neck, your hands finding purchase in his inky locks.

“C’mere you,” Levi’s playful tone went straight to your heart as he held you against him, carrying you from the wall. His arms braced under your ass as you leaned down to capture his mouth, lips moving in sync against each other.

You hadn’t noticed he’d carried you into his room until you both fell amongst the bed covers, his body covering yours.

You lay there, panting, looking up into those eyes you’d come to adore. The smile so rare you sometimes didn’t think he even could. You certainly didn’t think it would be so beautiful. Your hand came up to cup his face, chest warming as he nuzzled into the touch.

“Hey,” he breathed, kissing the heel of your palm.

“Hey,” you replied with a soft laugh.

“Bye,” you looked at him, your expression puzzled at the response.

“Wha– FUCK!” your hips arched as his fingers once again dipped between your thighs, sandwiching and rubbing your clit between his thumb and forefinger, his head trailing kisses down your front, pausing briefly to pay attention to your breasts before continuing south.

His fingers hooked over your waistband and Levi looked up at you for permission as he settled between your thighs. You smiled at his continued show of chivalry, nodded in confirmation before the cool air caressed your swollen pussy.

Levi must have forgotten how to breathe. That must be why he felt so lightheaded. Why his heart was beating so hard. Why his mind was reeling.

“God, look at you (Y/N), you’re perfect,” if you weren’t so goddamn aroused, you might have shed a tear at the compliment. You’d never had anyone say anything like that to you before. You’d never had anyone call you stunning, or pretty, or perfect. He made you feel so special.

And so fucking good.

Smirking slightly to himself, Levi turned to your inner thigh, biting gently at the supple, soft muscle and relishing how you squirmed eagerly beneath his touch. He was teasing you, and you were growing rather impatient.

But he couldn’t help it. He’d dreamt of this for so long he wanted to savour the moment. Wanted to remind himself that this wasn't a dream. He’d loved you for so long, and he couldn’t even fathom the elation now he knows that you love him back. The sweet scent of your dripping folds pulled him back to reality, like a siren beckoning him to a watery death, he let your essence pull him in, before the tip of his nose rested on the pearl of your clit.

His hands dragged up your thighs, gently kneading the sensitive flesh. He stayed like that for what felt like far too long, until everything happened at once. Throwing your legs over his shoulder, Levi’s tongue lapped a strong, solid line through your centre, sending your mind reeling.

“Aaaah…! Yes, Levi, Levi…!” Levi’s mind could have been a crime investigation blackboard. Making a mental note of every single reaction you were making. The buck of your hips when he kisses your folds. The arch of your back when he suckles on your clit. The hitch in your breath as his fingers came up to slowly tease your soaking entrance. Levi pulled back slightly, peering up at you and honestly, you almost lost control at the sight of him.

His mouth and chin dripping with your juices, pupils blown with pure, hungry desire. You parted your lips to comment on the delightful sight, but were cut off by the rogue moan he dragged from your throat, his fingers gently rubbing your clit, slowly travelling further south until you felt them circling your aching hole. Nerves gently bubbled through your stomach. You’d heard what the prostitutes and escorts said about a woman’s first time. You knew it was going to hurt, if the two of you went that far tonight. You knew it wasn’t going to be amazing the first time.

Levi also seemed to know.

“Hey, I’m not expecting anything after this, okay? I just want to pay you back for earlier, and make you feel… well, good. We can stop if you want,” you whined slightly at the loss of friction against your sensitive bud, but you couldn’t deny the reassurance calming your suddenly beating heart.

“Stop now and I’ll never give you head again,” you grinned, but he could see the sincerity and gratitude behind your mischievous eyes. You wanted this, and he was more than happy to provide.

“Order received,” he chuckled, before returning his mouth to your waiting pussy.

“Fuck, yes…! Yesyesyesyes HAA-AH, L-Levi…! Right there, fuck, fuck! Yes, right there,” Levi smirked as you whined his name, realising he’d never heard a sweeter sound.

Maybe the bubble of your laughter at a close second.

That same scandalous finger still rubbing patterns into your now throbbing clit, bringing you closer to your high. His other hand once again returning to your wanton hole, gently massaging your folds as his tongue darted into your entrance, dragging a long needy moan from your mouth.

Levi gently eased his finger into your waiting heat, his eyes rolling at how tight you were. He loosened a groan as he ground his now seeping length into the sheets below, the vibrations from his mouth almost enough to send you over the edge if you weren’t clenching at the strange intrusion.

As if sensing your slight discomfort, Levi latched onto the hood of your clit and sucked, relishing in the desperate cry of his name as the pad of his fingertip started rubbing against your walls.

The clench of discomfort soon turned to a flutter of pleasure as you adapted to having someone touch you so intimately. You started to understand why some women enjoy this, and more so when Levi twisted his wrist, hooking his fingers up and brushing against that spongy spot hidden deep within your folds almost by accident. He was worried he’d hurt you, your reaction was so sudden, but your loose string of breathless moans put him at ease.

“SHIT, there, stay… Nngh, AAH, stay there… that feels, yes…! That feels so good Levi,” you threw your head back against the pillow in utter ecstasy as he continued to massage that spot, easing anothing finger in to add to the now heightened pleasure. Whilst you felt both fingers inside of you, there was no discomfort as his tongue continued to swirl around your pearl.

This was his favourite part. Whilst having you kneeling between his thighs and shattering his control was indescribable, nothing could compare to the pleasure he felt whilst eating you out like a starved man. Fuck it felt good to make you feel good. Levi couldn’t stop his constant stream of whispered groans as his cock contiued to weep precum at the mere realisation he was wedged between your legs, feasting on your sex. He continued to grind against the mattress, feeling his own release start to tighten.

Quickening the pace of his working fingers, you couldn’t decipher the pattern Levi was lapping with his tongue, moving in what you thought was random zig-zags against your almost overstimulated clit.

You felt your thighs start to shake, moans escalating into high pitched, breathy pants as the coil in your stomach tightened to the point of snapping, quivering with tension.

“I’m gonna– fuuuuck…! Levi, Lev-Levi, I'm gonna cum… Yes, oh fuck yes, YES FUCK oh– LEVIIII!” with the continued ‘come here’ motion and mind numbing pace of his fingers against your g-spot and a final, long suck of your clit, you completely came undone with a desperate, lengthy scream of his name. Knuckles draining white with your iron grip on the sheets, your thighs locked around his head as your back arched completely off the bed.

It was all Levi needed to find his own release, hearing you chant his name like a prayer and feeling you convulse around his fingers and gush around his face was enough for him to spill all over the bedsheets, a small needy whine fluttering from his muffled mouth, devoured by your leaking cunt.

You two stayed like that for a moment as you both came down, Levi allowing you to catch your breath before being forced to tap on your thighs to release him, the clamp around his head easing.

“As happy as I would be suffocated between your legs, I don’t think I want to die quite yet,” Levi’s gravelly, gently teasing voice brought your back down from whatever elysium your mind had wandered off to, feeling his breath against your face. Your eyes peeled open, too fucked out to widen completely at the state of his face. Pearly white translucent essence lathered his lips and chin, bathing him in a glossy coat until he wiped it away with his other hand.

“What the fuck was that pattern? The one with your tongue?”

“Something I thought of on the spur of the moment. L-E-V-I, A-C-K-E-R–” your giddy giggle cut him off, hand pushing his face to the side playfully.

“Okay okay I get it, you’re utterly filthy and possessive.”

“Well, I had to leave my mark on you somehow.”

“As if the marks on my neck don’t exist.”

“Oh, they do. I’ll be spelling my name like that next time,” you gaped at his cocky smirk, unable to believe this was the same man you’d spent years living with.

As if inspecting your release on the tips of his fingers, he went to suck them clean in his mouth, but you were suddenly much faster. Grabbing his wrist, you brought his hand to your face, engulfing his fingers and swirling your tongue around the soft pads.

Levi’s eyes widened, a brow raised in incredulous disbelief.

“You brat, that was mine,” he huffed against your neck, looking at his hand with a pout as you took his fingers out your mouth with a small suck.

“Hmm, I don’t taste too bad,” you mused with a smirk, hoping to get some sort of rise out of him.

What you weren’t expecting was for him to roll to the side, pulling you into his chest so you had to angle your head up to peer into his now soft, grey eyes.

“You taste divine, firefly,” your heart skipped a beat at the nickname he’d only called you twice before.

“Why do you call me that? Don’t get me wrong, I love it but– why?” you murmured, snuggling into his warmth as much as you could whilst still being able to look into his loving gaze.

Levi stayed quiet for a moment, almost as if he were contemplating something, before gently tucking a strand of loose hair behind your ear.

“Because you’re a light, (Y/N). I was in a shit place, and you were a light. From the day I met your scrawny ass. You shone like some weird, feisty little beacon. You’re my firefly in the dark,” Levi was never good with words. Shit, he didn’t know how many times he’d rehearsed that little explanation, ready for the day when you would inevitably ask, and even then he still got it wrong. There was so much more he wanted to say. How you guided him forward. How you bathed him in your glow. You were so much more than his beacon.

You were his whole heart and soul.

You had been for a while.

Tears lined your eyes. You certainly weren’t expecting that. You weren’t expecting something so tender, even after your lovemaking. You weren’t expecting to see the raw, unwavering devotion in his eyes as he spoke such soft, soulmending words. His arms tightened around your waist as you nestled into the crook of his neck, breathing in his fresh, sweat musked scent.

You were both tired, content from you finding your highs in each other. Administrating pleasure for one another.

You were both happy with how far things had gone.

Then why were you both still awake?

Levi felt you lashes flutter intermittently against his collarbones, his only indication that you joined him in consciousness.

Neither of you said anything. You didn’t have to. Raising your head from his neck, the unspoken want reflected in his own eyes. Your lips joined his, gently moulding against one another in a gentle, passionate kiss. Wordlessly, he rolled on top of you, caging you against the bed with his arms either side of your head as his mouth moved against yours.

“Do you want this?” Levi pulled back just far enough to murmur, his lips still ghosting your own. Your hands found his hair, gently massaging his scalp as you nodded, looking deeply into those stormy eyes, blue and silver swirling seamlessly within his irises.

“I want you, Levi. Always you,” you responded, leaning back up to close the miniscule gap between you. One of your hands travelled down his back, skirting round his hips to his half hard length. You giggled cheekily at his muffled groan when you took him in your hand again, slowly pumping as he continued to harden. You wanted this. More than anything, you wanted him to claim you, and you wanted to claim him. You belonged to each other.

Levi lined himself up with your folds, shivering as his tip grazed your wetness.

“Last chance to say no before I take your virginity,” there was nothing but sweet sincerity in his hushed voice, his thumb caressing your cheekbone.

You masked your nervousness by raising a cocky brow, a lopsided smirk pulling at your lips.

“Right back at you, handsome,” you replied, but Levi could see right through you. Though your tone put him at ease slightly, he could still tell you were anticipating what was to come.

“I’ll be gentle, I promise. I’d never deliberately hurt you, (Y/N),” Levi lowered himself to recapture your lips, hoping to take some of your mind off the pain as he began to ease himself into your slick folds. You were thankful he’d stretched you somewhat with his fingers, but it wasn’t quite enough to quell the pained hiss you elicited as he slowly filled you. He would pause his movements at every sharp inhale, patiently waiting for you to accommodate his girth. It actually helped him as well, the overwhelming pleasure of your walls tightening around his cock almost enough to send him over the edge for the third time. He felt guilty for enjoying it, knowing you were in a lot of discomfort.

“I’ve got you firefly. I’ve got you. You’re doing so well, we’re almost there, I promise, take as long as you need, I’ve got you,” he cooed reassuring encouragement in your ear, letting you know there was no pressure on you. You relaxed a little, feeling the pain ease a tad as you did.

Levi felt your muscles loosen a fraction, and relief washed over him at the mere thought of you feeling a little more comfortable. Still, he refused to move until he’d heard you give him the go-ahead. You were dictating this, and he was once again more than happy to go at your own pace.

“Okay… okay. You okay?” you opened an eye to look up at his strained expression, slightly concerned he wasn’t enjoying it. You knew it would get better for you, but there was no point in continuing if he wasn’t feeling good either. But that thought was quickly extinguished when he nodded slightly erratically.

“Yeah, more than okay. I should be asking you that,” your small, huffed amusement was music to his ears.

“Go on then,” you smiled mischievously, almost forgetting about the tearing pain between your thighs. Your calmed, comfortable demeanor soothed his guilt ridden heart as he smiled fondly.

“You okay?” he gave you an eskimo kiss, gently nuzzling his nose against yours.

“More than okay,” you replied, copying his own response with an earnest grin. “You can keep going, by the way. Sorry, I should have said that sooner,” you smiled, looking away a little sheepishly. He hated how you thought that way. Hated how, even now, you weren’t thinking about yourself. He swept away your expression with a quick peck to your lips.

“No, you shouldn’t have. I want to move with you. This is all about you, don’t worry about me,” you could have cried at his words, feeling his lips against your neck. “You feel amazing,” he whispered, grasping the sheets as he continued to fill you to the hilt. You hissed again, but the pain was lessening to a dull throb now, his entire length sitting snug within your walls.

You both paused again, allowing you to get used to the sensation of being so full.

“Everything alright?” you could have chuckled at the obvious restraint in his voice, heart warming knowing he was doing everything he could to make you feel as comfortable as possible. You loved how he continued to need reassurance.

“Yeah, all good. You can move now baby,” Levi looked back at you, wide eyed and stunned.

“Are you sure? You don’t need more time? I can wait, I don’t want you to think–” he couldn’t finish his sentence before your lips crashed against his, your hips bucking as you feasted on his mouth. His eyes rolled at the friction and you swallowed the groan escaping his lips as he began to pull out, only to slowly thrust back in, his eyes fluttering shut at the sensation of your gummy walls gripping and massaging his length.

“Fuck… god you feel so good,” he moaned, having to remove his mouth from yours in favour of breathing. You gasped quietly, raising your legs to wrap around his waist, encouraging his hips to roll deeper. The pain had been completely replaced by a unique pleasure you’d never felt before.

“Yes… Levi, shit, yes…!” Your breathy moans fueled his gentle thrusts, keeping the pace steady and rhythmic. It worked perfectly for both of you, especially when the tip of his cock grazed the same spot you were sure his fingers were grinding against earlier.

“There! L-Levi, right there, yes oh fuck!” you whined, rolling your hips to meet his. Levi stilled, allowing you to grind yourself on his length, your mouth falling open as he continued to rub against your g-spot, the spongy texture enveloping his leaking tip.

“(Y/N), a-aah,” Levi gave up on forming words for the second time that night, loosening a lengthy, gravelly groan into your ear. You whimpered as he started to thrust again, picking up the tempo as the two of you lost yourselves in the pleasure of each other’s bodies.

He kept the angle the same, heatedly relishing in the high pitched moans with each well placed thrust.

“M-more, Le-vi, Levi, ‘need more,” your heels dug into the small of his back as if he would pull away. Snaking his hand between you, your hips bucked wildly as he started to circle your clit with his first two fingers.

“Yes, yes, FUCK, yes, shit (Y/N),” he couldn’t stop the stream of breathy grunts as your walls contracted around him, sucking him deeper than he ever imagined. “Does it– nngh– does it feel g-good?” he asked, as if you could find a voice with which to reply. Miraculously, you managed to nod frantically, uttering a guttural “yes” as his thrusts swiftened to something a little rougher, encouraged by your continued string of curses, his hips now pounding into you. The room was filled with the sound of skin slapping against skin, the continued squelching of his cock entering you repeatedly only heightened the sensation as you walls began to clench, you high fast approaching with the repeated rubbing of your clit and g-spot. Your nails began to claw against his back, scratching lines of fire against his skin.

“Levi... LEVI! Fuck… fuck... I’m gon-na cum. D-don’t stop, feelssogood…!”  

“Yeah? C-cum then. Cu– fuck, cum for me,”

“A-ah, Levi, yes… YES…! LEVIIII…!” Levi’s breath hitched as you held him in a vice grip, his eyes rolling back in sheer ecstasy as you came around his dick, back bowed in an arch, eyes closed as your orgasm washed over you in waves Your thighs shuddered and tightened around his hips as he fucked you through you high, fingers still blurring against your pearled bud until overstimulation shattered through your nerves, muscles twitching and clamping as he continued to find his own high.

“Shit…! Shit, oh fuck… Fuck, i’m so close, (Y/N) I’m s-so– so close, ha-ah…! Nngh, i’m gonna– oh fuck, yes… yes fuck…! Imgonnacum, (Y/N)... aa-aah, fuck (Y/N)!” Levi only just managed to pull out before he came across your abs, groaning desperately as his hips bucked into your lower stomach. You reached down through your own fucked out haze to grasp his cock, milking him through his orgasm much like you did early on in the night. Thumb grazing circles across his overly sensitive tip.

“Fuck, (Y/N) stop, ‘s too much… p-please,” you grinned against his neck as he collapsed on top of you, his face turning to the side as he fell between your shoulder and the pillow, panting against your skin.

You both refused to move, limbs too heavy to even think about cleaning up right now.

“Fuck… that was good,” you breathed, arms coming to drape across his marked back. It was only then you realised how painful it looked. “Levi! Oh my god I’m so sorry! Are you okay?” you asked, gently caressing the now raised lines across the muscles on his shoulders and back, hoping to soothe what you had done. He huffed a chuckle at the concern in your tone. If only you knew how much he’d loved feeling you draw white hot lines into his skin.

“Don’t be. I’m fine, I kinda liked it,” he confessed, tilting his head up to look into your shimmering, concerned eyes. (E/C) irises that quickly swirled with cheeky intent. You poked his forehead fondly, raising a brow.

“You little masochist,” your teasing tone made him lift his heavy body off yours, holding his weight a little shakily on his elbows as he leaned down to kiss you gently, his tongue brushing effortlessly against yours.

“Mmm, it was rather good wasn’t it?” he smirked against your lips as you scoffed.

“Rather? Says the man who the neighbours will be complaining about for the next god-knows-how-long. I think even those shit eating nobles above ground heard you,” you teased, smoothing over his eyebrow, his eyes rolling dramatically as he bunched up the sheet to gently wipe his seed from your abdomen.

“Okay fine, it was really good. But you know, you weren’t exactly silent yourself, right?” you’d never get bored of this banter between you. Never get tired of the amused spark in his dark irises, the slight quirked pull of his lips.

“Shut up,” you wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him against your neck when you couldn’t keep up the feigned annoyance on your face. He chuckled into the dip between your neck and shoulder before the two of you fell silent, content to bask in each other’s comforting warmth.

“You need to go pee,” and maybe it was his flat delivery breaking the serene silence, but that one sentence broke you. You exploded into fits of laughter, head thrown back in hilarity. Levi looked up in bewilderment, puzzled by your sudden reaction. But you had a certain contagious spark to your laughter, and he found himself joining you in your amusement. You couldn’t tell whether it was the release of all the sexual tension between you, or whether it was the elating realisation that you belonged to each other. Whether it was the relief of finally physically admitting your mutual attraction, or something completely different, but you found yourself unable to stop the bubbles of happiness from escaping your chest, even when you’d calmed down a little.

Levi too managed to control his hiccups of mirth, at least enough to ask you a one word question.

“What?”

You adored the way he looked at you and you were sure only one other person had ever seen him look like that before.

“Nothing, you’ve always got my wellbeing at the front of that beautiful mind of yours, haven’t you?” your hands carded through his hair as he rolled his eyes again. You could tell he was trying to school his smile back to neutral, but found himself unable when faced with your grinning visage.

“Shut up and go pee brat, I’ll clean up here,” Levi reluctantly rolled off you, pulling you up with him because he knew you wouldn’t have moved otherwise. You were shaky on your legs and he held your arms until you’d regained your strength before sending you off with a quick peck on your lips, something you tried to deepen but he caught on to your antics disappointingly quickly. “Go, you insatiable minx,” you laughed again as he gently pushed you, not before glancing at your gorgeous physique.

“Oi, stop checking me out,” you grinned over your shoulder as you left the room to do as he said.

It didn’t take him very long to strip the bed and change the sheets, finding some spare cloth and cases to drape over the bare mattress and pillows, bundling up the dirty bed clothes and dumping them in a small basket to be washed All before you wandered back in. Levi could see how tired you looked as you made a beeline for him, not quite with the same savvy confidence as you had five minutes ago, the night’s activities finally catching up with you. He couldn’t say he felt any different.

“C’mere beautiful,” he sighed as you collapsed into his chest. Levi tightened his arms around your body, pulling you to the bed with him.

Lying down on the fresh sheets, he tucked you closer into his chest, a smile pulling at his lips as you wrapped your tired arms around him.

As if he would ever leave you.

Tilting his head down, he pressed a delicate kiss to your hair, smiling against the faint scent of his soap you usually used.

“I love you, Levi,” Levi’s breath hitched at the three words he’d longed to hear you say. Never in his entire Underground existence did he think he could ever be this happy. The thought provoked a rogue tear to slide down his cheek.

When he’d regained some of his composure, realising he hadn’t moved or even breathed for a little too long,  his legs shifted to tangle with yours, simply wanting to feel you against him.

“I love you too, firefly,” he felt your soft, relieved smile against his neck as you both settled into each other, drifting off into one of the longest sleep either of you had managed in a very, very long time. At some point he’d rolled the two of you over, facing his back to the door, caging you in and instinctively protecting you against the horrors that lay outside those four walls.

Neither of you woke when Isobel and Farlan returned to the house in complete disarray.

Isobel immediately suspected what had happened judging by the plethora of discarded clothing and bundled white sheets in the wash basket.

“Oh my god, Farlan look! Is bro okay? Wait, are they both okay?! Look at (Y/N)’s neck!” Isobel gawked in slightly scared awe at her brother and his childhood friend. Well, lover now, they supposed, if the scratches on his back and the hickeys on your neck were anything to go by.

“How long do you think they’ve been knocked out like this?” the taller, sandy haired man asked, raising a brow to the girl as they leant on the doorframe, both looking at your sleeping, barely covered forms.

“Honestly? Beats me. Took them long enough though. If they didn’t fuck soon I would have thrown myself out the window. You could smell the sexual tension between those two,”

“That’s gross, Issy,” Isobel giggled at Farlan’s disapproving look, the dirty blonde clipping the back of her head as he leaned forward to shut the door, giving the two of you privacy.

Levi had been semi-coherent. Too tired and comfortable to throw either of them one of his glares, the sleeping bundle in his arms had softened him to the point of gooeyness. He smiled contently against your head.

Honestly, he couldn’t blame Isobel.

If you two hadn’t done something soon…

He would have thrown himself out the window alongside her.

꧁ꨄ꧂

“So, you did know her?” Levi tried to trace the steps he took that led up to this exact situation. He was always about no regrets, but shit, if he wasn’t starting to have a few. Sitting opposite his Commander, an ankle crossed over his knee, arms folded defensively, occasionally leaning forwards to take sips from his small cup of tea he’d managed to bring with him before being almost dragged into the blonde’s office.

He rolled his eyes, setting down his teacup once again, his arms returning to their positions against his chest.

“No. I already told you,” he’d insisted on keeping up this charade of ignorance, not knowing what it would do to either of you if anyone found out. Although he knew it was useless lying to him, Erwin would inevitably find out sooner or later.

The man across his face rubbed his palm against the side of his face in slight frustration, eyes closing as he took a calming breath. Levi almost felt sorry for him. He knew Erwin was under a lot of constant stress, and he knew he was contributing to that stress right now. If it was about anyone else, he would have caved in sooner. But this was you, and he would go to the ends of the earth to protect you.

“Levi… this is serious. If you know her, I need to know. It could help us protect her–”

“Protect her? Against what? I thought the MPs were done with her now,” Levi’s façade slipped slightly as worry invaded his normally rational mind. Erwin raised a thick eyebrow, clearly noting Levi’s change of tone.

“Just because they’re done with her doesn’t mean they won’t fight to get their way. She killed a lot of their soldiers, Levi. It’s only natural they would want to harm her, and we can only offer so much protection to the criminals we seem to be accumulating,” Erwin explained cautiously, as if realising Levi was a ticking time bomb, and any wrong move could set him off. But the shorter man decided against exploding at that comment, too fixated on the idea you could be harmed further.

“But you struck a deal with Niles, right? Aren’t you commanders supposed to honour deals like that?” the ravenette asked with no small degree of irritation in his tone. Erwin seemed to be slowly understanding what was going on. It was becoming more obvious that Humanity’s Strongest Soldier was perhaps more than familiar with The Raven.

“Levi, please. Who was she to you? An associate? Business partner? A friend? A lover?” Levi’s jaw flickered at the last suggestion, telling the Commander all he needed to know. “Really?” there was no judgement in his voice, only genuine, surprised curiosity. He didn’t think Levi even had it in him to love another, especially since he’s lost so many.

“Tch, so what?” might as well admit to it now he’d already guessed. Levi’s heart clenched with guilt, already trying to formulate some sort of plan. He didn’t know why there would be any repercussions to the two of you having a relationship years ago, but he didn’t doubt there would be. There always seemed to be.

“No, nothing, I’m just… surprised if I’m honest. You’ve never mentioned her before,” Erwin seemed genuinely, innocently interested, rather than that usual tone he took when he was fishing for information. Levi relaxed a tad, reaching for his teacup and taking a good, long sip, providing himself time to think.

“It was a very long time ago now… We haven’t seen each other in a decade or so,” he admitted quietly over the rim of his teacup, attempting to hide his face behind his hand.

“Do you still love her?” Levi almost choked on his tea at the sudden, incredibly personal question. The obvious answer was yes. Yes, he still loved you. He never stopped loving you. He only realised how much he really did still love you when he saw you again.

“No,” his response wasn’t as strong as he wanted it to be, and true to his perceptive nature, Erwin noted his hesitancy.

“I think we’re well past lying now, don’t you think?” Erwin smiled gently, now knowing why this was always such a sensitive subject for Levi. Why he stormed into his office the other day demanding to talk to him. Why he was so beside himself about your treatment.

That was his past lover.

Levi sighed, placing the teacup back on the desk before running a frustrated hand through his hair.

“It’s more complicated than that,”

“It’s a yes or no question Levi,”

“What’s it to you, Eyebrows? Pretty sure my answer doesn’t dictate whether she’s safe or not just because The Raven is an ex to one of your captains,” the venom in his voice was tamed by his obvious fatigue. Erwin could only imagine how much of a toll this had taken on the ravenette.

“No. It doesn’t. But I don’t want you to think you can’t come to your friends about something like this, Levi. She’s–” Erwin cut himself off, internally debating the best way to go about this. “She’s somebody important to you. Incredibly important, if your little display the other demonstrated anything,” Levi rolled his eyes, clicking his tongue at the remark.

“I just don’t want her to get hurt. More than she already has,” it was strange seeing Levi, a man Erwin had known to be incredibly stoic and in control seem so vulnerable. It was strange to think Levi had any weaknesses. But the blonde supposed every man had a weakness. Even him.

However if Levi didn’t want her to get hurt, then he should have spoken up before Erwin struck a deal with the MPs to let her join the Scouts.

“Levi… She's a Scout now. It’s highly likely she’s going to get hurt on expeditions,”

“I KNOW THAT,” Erwin raised his brows at the sudden, raised tone, not expecting something quite that desperate to come from Levi, the smaller man now refusing to make eye-contact. “I know that,” he repeated quietly. It was obvious he was in a difficult situation.

“Then I'll ask you again. Do you still love her?” Erwin’s tone was ever patient, something Levi appreciated as he sat in silence before answering, once again unable to meet Erwin’s piercing gaze.

“Yes. Yes I do. I didn’t stop. I never stopped loving her,” Erwin’s expression softened at Levi’s words, leaning his chin against his intertwined fingers, his elbows resting on the desk.

“Does she know that?”

“Fuck sakes Erwin, are you seriously giving me dating advice?” Levi raised what could have been an amused brow, if only the seriousness of the conversation didn’t convert it into something of irritation. He couldn’t deny this conversation had gone better than he could have expected. He didn’t expect his Commander to be so supportive of a relationship between his Strongest Soldier and The Raven. But, he supposed, as much as he hated to admit it, Erwin was one of his closest friends. And his hearty chuckle only exaggerated that fact.

Annoyingly.

“No. No I’m not. I’m not one to give such advice,” another silence settled between the two men, before Erwin spoke up again. “What would you like to do about this?” he asked, willing to let Levi have some say in how his ex lover was treated within the Scouts.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, how would you like to oversee her training? From what I’ve seen, she doesn’t respond well to… authority,” god, talking about this it was akin walking on a sleeping titan, not knowing what would suddenly jolt it awake enough to lunge and bite. This was more Hange’s field than anything, knowing Levi had a strange soft spot for the scientist. Not that he would ever admit it.

“No. I don’t think that’s a good idea. She’s… well… Yes, she’s difficult. And yes, she doesn’t like authority. And yes, she’s perfectly capable of kicking the shit out of any of us whilst eating a salad as she did it but she’s not impossible. You just have to know how to… work her,”

“Sounds like you do,”

“Watch it.”

“Apologies. That was inappropriate,” Levi could tell there was nothing apologetic about Erwin’s tone. And he couldn’t deny that it was rather funny, conveying his thoughts with a less spiteful eye roll.

Eyebrows’ eyebrows furrowed in thought, wondering who should survey your training, and who’s squad you should join after.

“I can have Miche take her through ODM maintenance, he should–”

“No point. She knows how those things work better than you or I. She was the one who sold to us,”

“Without your knowledge?” Levi stayed awkwardly quiet for a moment.

“She was wearing a mask…”

“Seriously?”

“It’s dark down there, okay? We couldn’t fucking see her face,” Levi spat, only adding to Erwin’s humerous disbelief. “Anyway, she doesn’t need to be taught that shit. She already knows it. She just needs to be taught how to use it. But she’s a fast learner. If she doesn’t surpass Miche’s kill count in her first two weeks I'll be extremely surprised,” Erwin smiled subtly as Levi kept singing your praises, seemingly unable to stop himself from aggressively gushing about how fantastic you were.

“You seem confident,”

“I am.”

“Why?” The question caught him off guard. Why? Because it was you. He was always confident when it came to you. He could always trust you with anything because he knew you.

Or… at least…

He did.

“Look, I know you’re usually the one asking me to trust you, but just this once, trust me,” Erwin had already made the decision to trust Levi on this one. He seemed to know you better than anyone, even if he had just avoided the question.

“I was going to anyway, but alright. Miche for ODM, Hange for titan theory–”

“Terrible idea, but continue,”

“And she can join the rest of the soldiers for hand to hand. Does that suit you?” Levi couldn’t quite understand why Erwin was being so lenient with this.

“I don’t give you orders. If that’s how it is, that’s how it’ll be,” the raven haired man folded his arms once again, leaning back in his chair.

“Levi, I’m trying to be accommodating about this,” Erwin huffed, growing ever more tired with the Captain’s attitude.

“Why? Just treat her like any other cadet,”

“Honestly? Because I don’t want you to be in a constant foul mood if something goes wrong with her training,” Levi scoffed, averting his eyes from Erwin.

“Fine. Yes, that suits me. Whether it’ll suit her or not… that’s a different question altogether,” Levi’s subtle, fond smile didn’t escape Erwin’s ever-searching gaze, the man picking up on all of Levi’s tells.

“Very well. She can join Captain Francis’ squad as a temporary fix until we see where she would fit in–”

“That man’s a waste of air and you know it,” Levi really was behaving like a petulant child, huffing and folding his arms with every idea he disagreed with.

“Whilst yes, I agree with you, he’s also another Captain. You should probably treat him like one,”

“I don’t see him here with us, do you?”

“Levi…” Erwin warned lowly. Though he did sometimes enjoy the smaller man’s sarcastic quips, now wasn’t the time for such things. Before Levi could respond to the warning however, Erwin continued swiftly. “So, you’ll oversee her training?”

“Didn’t I just say that was a bad idea?”

“I find myself disagreeing with you.”

“Tch, fine. ``We done here?” he asked, tapping his foot impatiently as if he’d been waiting to ask that question throughout their entire meeting. Erwin sighed, trying so hard not to roll his own eyes before nodding and waving a hand. But before Levi could even open the door, he was stopped.

“Levi… What's her name?” Erwin asked, peering at him as if he could see right through him. Levi’s expression softened, thinking back to when she asked him to refer to her with her name rather than her alias.

“(Y/N),” he spoke your name as if saying it any louder would shatter it, the delicacy in his tone so unlike the Levi Erwin had come to know. “But call her Raven until she tells you. Hate to say it, but you wouldn’t stand a chance if she decides you have a target on your back,” that alien fondness returned to Levi’s expression, as if he wasn’t talking about his ex lover possibly murdering his commander.

“I’ll take your word for it. Thank you Levi, for being honest with me. I know there’s more to say, but I'm sure you’d rather rest than talk to me about it,” the offer was there, Levi knew it was. He knew Erwin was offering to help sort through his thoughts with him, but he needed time to…

Adjust to this new normal.

So instead he hummed non-comitally and bid the Commander goodnight.

“Night Erwin, don’t strain yourself too hard thinking about this,” it was his way of saying he was grateful for Erwin’s support. Levi always had his own special way of saying things like this.

Erwin couldn’t respond before Levi was already closing the door behind him.

꧁ꨄ꧂

Warm shower. No, hot shower. Fuck it, scalding shower. Levi kept turning up the temperature, the showerhead gurgling with each twist. He usually found, when nothing else could calm his nerves or soothe his head, a scalding shower and a hot tea worked the trick. But every part of him was alight tonight. His body, his mind.

His heart and soul.

His entire being crackled with some sort of energy he hadn’t felt in a while. He recognised it. Of course he did. It was the same energy he’d feel whenever you’d return home from your strange trips away, which he now knew was Viper teaching you how to survive. Was that how you knew how to stitch his wound that night? Was that how you knew how to effectively apply a bandage, how to suture and sew? That night when he’d stumbled through the door to find the house empty. When he’d sat at the table, silently begging you to come back just so he could see you again. Just so he would stop worrying.

That night when he’d first kissed you.

There were a lot of firsts that night, he remembered fondly. The first kiss, the first touch. The first time he’d heard you moan his name. The first time he moaned yours.

The first time he’d felt such utter pleasure, when your tongue swirled around his tip and your lips lapped at his vein. When your throat massaged his length and he spilled into your mouth.

The first time he’d tasted you, delicately kissing your swollen folds and listening to you unravel above him. Your breathy whines playing on repeat in his head.

The first time you two were joined, closer than you’d ever been before.

Gradually, the shower became far, far too hot. Looking down, Levi could both see and feel the result of his little nostalgia trip. The small whimper of his name in the cell had unlocked a torrent of repressed urges that now sprang to light.

In more ways than one.

It was wrong. It was so, so wrong. You were a mere husk of who you were. You were damaged, fractured. Spiderwebbed cracks lined your mind, threatening to shatter and yet, no matter how far down he turned the shower temperature, no matter how much cold water splashed against his toned back, images of your ecstasy creased face still flashed in his mind, his length only hardening further the longer he left it.

“Damnit…” he muttered with a heavy sigh, before wrapping his hand around his cock and slowly fucking into his fist. His hips bucked involuntarily, having not done this in quite a while now. Levi ran his thumb over that prominent vein, remembering how your hot mouth would suckle kisses along the underside. A low moan escaped his throat, lost down the drain along with the filthy cold water.

He lathered his precum over his sensitive tip, hissing at the friction as he began to pump faster, boney knuckles gripping tighter as he neared his high. His hand didn’t feel like his own. There were no rough callouses on his palms, but rather they were softer. Daintier. Smaller. He couldn’t stop his imagination running wild as he thought of you jerking him off, that playful, fox-like smile pulling at your lips whenever his back arched or his hips bucked.

“Fuck…” he groaned, fucking into his fist with renewed vigor, his balls tightening as he felt his release wash through his body, mouth falling open. Throwing his head back, Levi thrusted his hips into his grip as ropes of white seed spilled from his tip, seeping through his fingers.

He braced his arm against the white tiled wall, watching the water wash away his ivory sins as his cock softened in his hand. Guilt punctured his afterglow, self hatred a constant accomplice as he turned the temperature back up to boiling, hissing as the lava scalded his back, staining his skin an angry red. He wouldn’t have tea after this. He wouldn’t carefully dry himself off, or sit at his desk and stave away sleep.

He would collapse amongst the unused duvet and pillows of his bed, and hope his nightmares carry him to retribution.

[lazarettta]

Misthios

Characters (Reader x Mother Miranda...?) 👀

Rating (T)

Word Count (2.8k)

Warnings (none, first half is has no dialogue, writing while high,)

Once her little warrior, always her little warrior.

I'm sorry if it's hot 🗑💀

The fire was finally the way you wanted it and you could finally fucking rest. You'd been hiking all goddamn day through the rain and snow, and you just wanted a minute to rest and to eat. The sun was starting to set and you still needed to set up your tent, but for the moment you were content to just sit on the log and get warm.

“Who'd ever think a Spartan would be in Rome looking for answers, hm?” it was ironic, how you would've been accused of being a traitor or something like that back then. Ha...back then?

Truthfully you weren't sure anymore where your life really started it's been so long, centuries really if you were being honest. Sometimes even your own secrets were too overwhelming for you to admit, and as the years continued to pass you by it was getting harder and harder for you to hold onto the same principles you once believed in. The wars you've participated in, two of them by choice...and as a favor for the third.

It shouldn't have been possible but it was for you, it was both a blessing and a curse because you were nothing special...you grew up with Spartan blood running through your veins, pushed at a young age to hunt and to protect, it was a common tradition for families then, especially for the oldest or only children. Your didn't ever recall your father, he died in battle before you were born but your mother was there, always. Even if her face was blurry after all of the time that has passed you by—you still remember her teachings and her technique. Your mother was the best hunter in Sparta, proudly.

But after...after her passing, the streets taught you how to be a mercenary at a young age...and then an assassin, not by choice but by necessity because you weren't a good person then, not really, and you still weren't now...but you still had the will do what was right, and so you did.

And maybe that is why the Gods did not let you die in the battlefield when you'd been caught off guard, for what is no longer relevant as it is now long gone, but the scar left through your heart would forever stain you inside and out by some random Greek bastard. You don't remember much of the dying part as much as you remembered how badly it hurt and how livid you were watching him stand over you with his bloody sword raised to the heavens. But just like your pain, that emotion was ebbed away as you laid there dying.

And die you did. And your body laid there for who knows how long but when you woke up, oh you sprung up ready to fight but there wasn't a fight left to be had...the war was over...but you didn't know that until you woke up the second time. Not realizing that your body was next to be burned in the ditch as the battlefield was being cleared of all the corpses from both sides. A gruesome chore performed by the prisoners taken by Sparta.

You had no idea why the Gods healed you and brought you back from the dead, you didn't deserve a second chance (at the time you didn't realize that it was a power). You were blessed by the Gods and that's all that it was, people looked at you with both awe and envy. Some gave all of their iron and dearest family possessions as a gift to the Gods in hopes that their wishes were granted. They hated you and you did not care. You were unstoppable, everyone wanted your attention and your skills—it made you arrogant and stupid for years. And when you caught a pretty nasty gash across your back from a werewolf that ambushed you and your horse, your leathers had been torn and bloody by the time you speared your way through four of those beasts. But while there was blood, there was no wound...the only evidence were the scars it left behind.

Snap!

You turned your head slightly, a few strands of your hair falling in front of your ever sharp (y/e/c) eyes. You stayed perfectly still, eyes scanning the forest surrounding you but there was nothing after several moments. Just as well...with a loud sigh, you finally got up to put up your tent for the night and probably for the next few nights too. You slipped your hunting knife back into your boot but kept it unhooked just in case.

You lived in a time where guns existed but you were always better with a blade. You may not be an active misthios now (mercenary in today's world) but old habits were hard to kick. You were too old and too wise now, even if you didn't look a day over twenty-eight.

The next morning...

You woke with a start your grip around your obsidian hunting knife so tight your knuckles your skin strained against bone. You didn't have a dream but something woke you up, and it wasn't those damn birds chirping literally above your tint. With the help of the morning sun you could even see the spot where one of them pooped. Great. You laid there for a few more minutes, finally relaxed enough to move. You checked your surroundings again, walking around your camp but that feeling of unease didn't go away but it wasn't as strong.

Today was clearer than it was the day before though you still had to deal with the snow and the cold, not that either really bothered you too much. Leaving your camp behind, marking the trees so that you had a way to find your way back through these unfamiliar woods, you set off to find breakfast. You came to an edge, a cliff's peak and you went to stand on the edge of it—to maybe see the rest of the mountain you were exploring but something caught your immediate attention.

When was the last time you ever saw a castle? Not...not those tourist marks they have all over Europe but a castle. The place was eerie but most castles always felt that way to you...but this was different? It was as if the castle was looking right back at you, mocking you. From your vantage point you could make out the edges of a lake through the thick trees, you couldn't see it very well but you could tell it wasn't small nor was it man-made.

It was a pleasant surprise to discover this as you assumed that your trip would mostly be you exploring this cold ass mountain without a proper guide but you didn't need anyone to know why you were really up here, your reasons concerned no one but yourself. That and you knew you'd end up leading your guide. You were better off alone. Or at least that's what you kept telling yourself that but those words stopped being comforting a very long time ago. Not like fate was giving you much of a fucking choice though.

Your stomach growled, reminding you of your hunt...you glanced down at the village below the castle curiously before turning away from the ledge, the heavy aura of the castle still on your back.

~~

Fat and full, that's exactly how you'd describe yourself at the moment. There were more predators in the area than there were prey it seemed but the rabbit you caught seemed plentiful enough. With winter kicking in, the most worrisome predator in the woods would be hibernating leaving nothing but the wolves and maybe a mountain lion for you to deal with if you're lucky. You hefted your smaller backpack onto your back and left your camp, deciding to check out the village to see if you could learn more about the castle.

You were both excited and curious, you'd spent a majority of your modern life exploring the wonders of the Earth and using the currency you've collected throughout your lifetimes to fund whatever myth caught your eye. In other words, you were bored but the thought of war and fighting no longer made your blood sing or your heart race. You've done so much of that already, and lost so much because of it.

“Get back! Get back! Agh—GET THE FUCK BACK!”

Your legs stopped moving immediately and your gloved hand was already wrapped around the hilt of your hunting knife, ears trained. You heard growling and barking not too far from where you stood, maybe two or three hundred feet to your right just through those bushes and that fallen tree. It sounded as if someone was having a bit of trouble with a pack of wolves. Which struck you as odd, you were still pretty high up on the mountains and you hadn't seen anyone else up here in a week, so it couldn't have been a local...could it?

The growling grew more intense and there were sounds of a scuffle and grunts but the man still sounded alive.

And it wasn't your problem. Your days of coming to the rescue were over. You allowed your hand to fall from your knife. You got maybe seven steps away before the man spotted you, he caught a glimpse of your fur lined hood and started screaming for you to help him just as one of the wolves snapped the branch he was holding in half, forcing his back against a tree. His time was counting down now.

He was yelling so loud, you were sure even the villagers could hear him now. There was no way you could walk away now.

“Fucking hell.” with a heavy sigh, you dropped your backpack and stalked in the direction of the soon to be crime scene. You didn't feel the need to mask your presence, you wanted the wolves to know that you were there and that ultimately saved that man's life. The wolves were honed in on you the moment you stepped through the bush but three shots echoed through the small clearing before any of them could pounce in your direction. The echoes faded away quickly, and you sighed again watching the white snow stain red beneath the furry corpses.

The only other sound heard was the man's heavy breathing as he leaned against a tree. You looked down at your gun before putting it back in it's holster on your lower back, you may prefer blades but it was always better to have something and not need it, than to need it and not have it.

“Thank...thank you,”

You looked at the man with furrowed brows...just by looking at him, you knew that he wasn't a native but the moment he opened his mouth only confirmed it. He was American...you spotted all of his gear nearby, torn to shreds and you scoffed.

“I don't think camping is for you.”

“I don't think so either,” He tried for a smile but it was only a grimace, the blonde man pushed himself from the tree and approached you, carefully stepping around the wolves bodies, “I'm uh a bit lost, I guess.”

“And I'm leaving.”

“Wait!” he rushed around you, stopping you and you could've gone through the man if you wanted to...you were taller than him by an inch or two, and you definitely had more mass than he probably knew what to do with, “Listen, I'm obviously not from here, but I'm trying to find my daughter okay, she's—”

“I'm not from around here,” you held your hand to make him stop while simultaneously telling yourself that you're not about to get involved in someone else's mess and derail your own mission, “I'm sorry about your kid, but I can't help you.”

He frowned at you obviously not happy with your answer but he was quickly reaching into his pocket and any normal person, especially someone who is armed, would've taken a step back but you weren't some ordinary person. You simply raised an eyebrow, because you knew that he wasn't going to attack you even though he was probably fully capable of doing so. You assumed that he was about to dig out a baby picture or something but it was just a sheet of paper with writing on it. You took it before he could shove the damn thing in your face and you looked down at it carefully, keeping your face neutral.

“I can't read whatever language that is.”

You glared up at him from beneath your lashes, “And you think that I can?”

“Can you?” he shot back, and you rolled your eyes...your attention back to the paper before shoving it back in his hands, “Well?”

You nearly scowled at his impatience, “It's a mix of Romanian, Serbian and Tatar. Whoever sent that clearly doesn't want anyone else to know what's on it.”

“So you can read it then?”

“Bits and pieces,” You said with a shrug, “I'm not expert but someone named Beneviento is demanding a shorter route for wine delivery from that giant castle.”

He stared at you then down to the paper, which was full from top to bottom, then back to you, “What...that's all? Are you sure?? No, that can't be all...there has to be something about my daughter here! Here, please, just try again slower—”

“That's all I could read.” you shouldered past him, throwing your hood back up and ignoring his calls after you. Your backpack was exactly where you dropped it, you shook off the snow and threw it back on your back not caring about the cool wetness on your back now—you just wanted to get away from this area as quickly as possible. You should've used your knife as those gunshots gave away your position.

“Amateur hour everyone,” you grumbled under your breath...you veered off the path slightly, just in case he tried to follow you (wouldn't be the first time someone tried to force you to help them).

You'd maybe walked for a mile or two down the mountain before you noticed the hairs on the back of your neck standing, you chanced a casual glance over your shoulder but there was no one there, no man nor animal. Licking your dry lips you turned back around but as you were doing so, you caught something in your peripheral. A dark figure, twenty feet away and that's when you noticed how fucking quiet everything was around you...you forced yourself to keep walking even as a feeling of dread began crawling up your back, like two sharp fingers walking along the ridges of your spine.

Pushing the hood from your head, you whirled around with your knife drawn at your side gripping it with the intentions to kill but there was nothing there except two large obsidian feathers fluttering gently down onto the snow at your boots. Feathers?

Cool breath touched the base of your neck when you heard soft chuckling directly behind you. You turned around sharply, easily flipping your knife around but the mass of darkness in front of you disoriented you for a split second and that was all this creature needed. Before you could plunge your knife into it's feathery belly, a pale hand shot out and caught your wrist in a bruising grip as another hand curled itself around your throat, sharp nails oh so slightly pricking your skin.

You were about to kick away when the creature leaned forward, and it's face came from beneath the hood...only it wasn't an it, it was a she, though her entire face was hidden by the gold headgear you could see her lips and...and her eyes.

A pair of eyes you'd never forget in any of your lifetimes. It felt like a millennia ago when those eyes alone had you on your knees covered in fresh warm blood and exhausted from tearing through small armies.

Despite yourself, you were trembling in her ironclad grip, your hand that wasn't still trapped fruitlessly came up to wrap around her wrist as if that was going to help you. You both knew that it wouldn't. She brought you closer until your feet were no longer on the ground and you could feel the tip of your blade pressing against something...no, her...and your nose was nearly touching her helmet.

“ο μικρός μου πολεμιστής...” (my little warrior...) her cool breath washed over your face, her eyes still boring down into yours so intensely you swore you felt the heat, even as her hand tightened around your throat making you choke, but you were fighting against her... “επιτέλους ήρθες σπίτι μου...” her chuckle fell on deaf ears. (you've finally come home to me...)

~~

You were supposed to run into Alcina first 😭, but Miranda works too...(save the best for last obvi) I don't know I am playing Odyssey while waiting for this game to drop and I went The Old Guard route too so then I just ended up writing some shit, and I wanted to try something that's not so maiden-esque lol so I hope it's enjoyable at least...I honestly might make this a WIP...

[diofasolia]

{Always}

{Shattered! Dream x Reader}

Shattered! Dream by @shattereddreamsau

Writings by me

Today (8/7) is Shattered! Dream's birthday and I decided to post a writing I did last year—which is also the reason why I eventually join in the tumblr

Because back when I wrote this story, I found Dark Cream comic, which made by amazing @zu-is-here

Her creations give me the inspiration for the writing

The story is long (it has like 2000 words in it) and may be a bit cheesy, but I'll be happy to know if you read the whole thing (◡ ω ◡)

******

Before the story start, I want to ask you a question.

   Do you believe that the worst person can change?

   Oh! How awkward, sorry, I ask the wrong question.

   What I meant to ask is—

   Do you believe that the best person, the kindest person in the world can change?

   Maybe…all it needs is a tiny push?

   The harsh whipping hits in my abdomen again. I kneel on the ground, thinking how deep the scar might be from that blow.

   "What're you doing!? Look at your king when I'm talking to you! Such a piece of useless trash!!"

   "I apologized, My Lord."

   Raising my bruised neck, I gaze at the former guardian of positivity. Those eyes that used to hold the tenderness, now only fill up with hatred.

   "Where're those fricking basters!? I told you to track down my brother and other Sanses!"

   "I'm sorry, My Lord. They escaped. I can't find where their location is–"

   Not even waiting for my sentence finished, another powerful punch land on my face. I watch as a tooth fall out of my mouth. Blood dripping down my chin.

   "Worthless! Can't even do a little task like that!"

   Multiple kicks and insults throw at me. The numb feeling slowly occurs in my torso as I curling up into a ball.

   Closing my eyes, the memories from the past arises in my mind, bringing me back to the day that I seal my fate.

   "Dream? Earth to Dream!"

   "(Y/N)? What's wrong, love?"

   "What's wrong? I've called your name for five times! But you didn't answer to me."

   Dream scratches the back of his skull, looking a bit embarrassed.

   "Is that so? I'm sorry, (Y/N)! It won't happen again, I swear!"

   I cuddle Dream close, letting out a giggle.

   "It's fine! I don't really mind it. But Dream, you tend to space out recently. Is there something on your mind? You can tell me everything, you know that, right?"

   Giving me a kiss on the cheek, Dream smiles gently. He assures me that there's nothing to worry about. It’s just the task of guardian makes him a little exhausted.

   "Well, if that's the case, go on and get some rest! I will inform you if something was up."

   "Okay! Thanks, (Y/N), I'm glad I have you by my side."

   "Me too, my dreams and hopes."

   It's been quiet in Dream's room. He must be very tired. I knock on his bedroom door, telling him to wake up.

   "Dream, I know you're tired. But you still need to eat."

   "Dream? Are you awake yet?"

   There's no answer.

   Guess I’ll have to get into his room.

   Yet no one is there, only an opening portal hanging in the air.

   A portal leads to Dream's corrupted universe.

   "I'll show you, brother. I know what you're feeling…I know what you're going through…"

   "No! Dream, stop!! You don't know what you're doing!!"

    Two vague voices shouting in the distance. I begin to run like my life is in danger.

    What the heck is going on here?

    What is this dreadful feeling?!

   I'm too slow.

    The half bitten black apple lay on the ground. I watch in horror as the small tendrils creeping out Dream's eye sockets. His painful screech rings in my ears.

   "Dream!!!"

    I reach out to him, hoping that I can comfort Dream in my arms. The positive energy…they gotta do something, right?

   "What…? Nightmare! Let go of me!! I need to…to get Dream!!"

   "No! You can't get near him now, (Y/N)! You'll…you'll get hurt!"

    I thrash in Nightmare's hold, screaming at the top of my lungs.

   "Dream!! No! Dream!!!"

   "What's wrong, love?"

   My teary eyes stare up, it's…Dream's voice.

   But it sends an unknown coldness down my spine.

   "Ahh, you're crying! Good, keep doing that."

   A sadistic grin spreads on Dream's face.

   "I love it."

   Nightmare is already sobbing, begging for his beloved brother to come back. I walk step by step to Dream, putting on the best smile I can muster.

   "My love…Dream…please, come back to me…! I love you. I know you're strong enough to resist those negative feelings…"

   Dream cackles loudly. The tentacles wrap tightly around my neck, pulling me closer to him.

   "Go back? To my weak self? (Y/N), when did you become stupid? Why would I do that?"

   "I've already past the point of no return."

   A bucket of freezing water splashes on me. I must have passed out during the abusing session.

   "Wake up."

   "Get clean up, we're leaving."

   I pick up my sore body, stumbling across the lonely hall that me and Dream live in. There's no one here except the two of us.

   "Make a choice, (Y/N). Will you join me? Or will you prefer to disobey me like my coward brother?"

   "I'll go with you."

   I want to weep, yet I can’t even shed a single tear. I shouldn't be upset. After all, it's me who decided to follow my corrupted lover.

   Filling up the bathtub, I submerge myself in the steamy water.

   "Why, (Y/N)!? Why are you side with him!? Open your eyes! Dream doesn't love you anymore. He's just using you!"

    "It doesn't matter, Nightmare."

   "Great job, (Y/N)! You make this AU full of despair and miseries! I always know you're my favorite soldier!"

   "It's my pleasure to serve you, my lord."

   I scrub my blood-stained skin, the wounds sting because of the soapy water. Some of the old gash reopened, making me yell in frustration.

   "We can save Dream! Don't lose any hope, (Y/N)!"

   "How? There are barely things we can do. It's over, Nightmare. Look at yourself! You transfer back because Dream shattered! How are you gonna turn him back? By let someone else eats a black apple again?!"

   The white dirty bandages wrap around my mess up torso. Why am I even bother treating my injures? They sure are going to reopen soon anyway.

   "No matter what you say to me, I won't change the path I've chosen, Nightmare."

   "I've already gone far enough."

   "I don't understand…he's hurting you, (Y/N). Are you still…in love with my brother?"

   I hate it so much.

   The smell won't disappear no matter how many times I wash it over and over.

   I hate it.

   My hair smells like those disgusting goop on Dream.

   Why can't I get rid of this sickening stink!?!

   Throwing the bottles at random direction, I tug my hair till I scream out.

   "What's with all that noises in there!? You better finish your business soon, I'm losing my patience!"

   I hate it.

   "I deeply apologize for making you wait for such a long time, my lord."

   I wish I can understand your pain sooner.

   "Whatever, time to leave."

   I'm sorry I couldn't save you.

   "My lord, where are we going, may I ask?"

   Dream's left eye glows in excitement.

   "I find out where those sneaky scums are hiding."

   With a wave of hand, Dream opens the portal leads to an unknown empty place.

   No one is left out.

   Nightmare, Ink, Blue, everyone's here.

   "And I'm going to give them a pleasant encounter."

   But today is a little different.

   Then all hell breaks out.

   Nightmare's starting to transform. The dark gooey substance covering up his body gradually.

   The same routine as usual. Nightmare pleads Dream to stop his actions while the former guardian of positivity just laugh it off, a bit talks here and there.

   "Miss me, dear brother?"

    The crazy laughter of Dream rings in the air.

   "Yes! Finally, things are getting interesting!"

   While Dream focusing on battling with Nightmare, I have to handle the two other skeletons.

   "I know deep down you don't want to fight us, (Y/N)! Let's just drop our weapons, okay?"

   Ink creates a bunch of arrows, ready to launch them at Dream. I block his charge immediately, slashing Ink's arm with my sword.

   My silence is always my only answer.

   "No one's going to get near Dream."

   I continue to attack Blue. We've already been through this conversation many times.

   "How…how's this possible?!"

   Dream can only defense himself from Nightmare as the latter one keeps on firing attacks. It looks like Nightmare gets more advantage of the battle.

   "Seems like you can't control your tentacles very well yet, little bro."

    Nightmare mocks, resulting Dream to lose his temper. He strikes at Nightmare blindly, only to receive a powerful blow in the guts.

   "Dream!!"

   I rush to Dream, who’s looking more exhausted than usual. From the way how he’s panting heavily, I know he's already losing too much strength to fight.

   "Get away from me! I don't need your help!!"

   The attack is sloppy but I didn't dodge it. Dream can beat me all he wants after I get him to safety.

   Even if it means I can possibly die.

   "My lord, I apologize, but we have to move to another universe again."

   Dream growls at me.

   "It's you who are dragging me down!!"

   They're still following us.

   I'm whacking to the ground in a flash. A heavy boot stamps on my ribs harshly.

   The nasty cracking sound and my piercing shirek fills in the air.

   "You're no longer useful to me."

    I watch as Dream disappears in a portal. He doesn't even spare a glance at me. Leaving me bleeding and slowly dying on the ground.

   "I've told you."

    Nightmare's lurking shadow towers above me.

   "Oh no, Ink! We must save (Y/N)! She's…!"

     Ink put a hand on Blue's shoulder, shaking his head solemnly.

   "We can't, Blue. Remember, our priority is to capture Dream."

   "Please, Night…"

     I find myself pleading to Nightmare.

   "Don't…kill Dream…"

   "You and I both know that's an empty promise, (Y/N)."

   Three skeletons begins to move towards the portal that opens by Ink. Before they leave, Nightmare whispers in a quiet voice but loud enough for me to catch.

   "…he's in Dreamtale."

   How much will you sacrifice for protecting your fallen love?

   "You really are dumb. You know that?"

   "Or you're just enjoy me breaking you apart bit by bit?"

   "Don't you scare of your own nightmares?"

   "I deserve it."

   "I'm already living with it."

   "You will always be my fading dreams."

   "It's my own redemption."

   "Surrender now, Dream. Then we can put an end to this whole mess."

   My time is running out.

    "Heh, I thought you know me well, dear brother. You should get the answer by yourself now."

   "…goodbye, my poor little brother.

   I pray to you, God. Let me see him one last time.

   I can't save him the last time.

    It's always a miracle how accurate the portal can lead to.

   "(Y…Y/N)?"

   This time, I'm going to save Dream.

   There's no pain anymore.

   "…at least…you……say my…name……one…last……time…"

   Crimson blood drips down my penetrated torso. I think I see Dream's crying. But that might be just my own tears.

   Forgive me, Dream.

   My collapsing body falls forward, landing on the soft grass surface before me.

(3rd pov)

   "Nightmare, I need your assistance."

   "I thought we're enemies now."

    "There's a method I want to try. It might succeed to bring Dream back."

   "Well, I'm here to listen."

   "She's just a tool."

   "Nothing else."

    "Because I know him well. The extreme emotion is the only possible way to get things right again."

   Dream mutters to himself like a broken recorder. Staring the wrecking body of yours, his non-existent heart begins to hurt.

    "I refuse! That's too dangerous! You surely will be dead in this terrible plan! Besides, how can you so sure he'll behave like you predict!?"

    "It's worth it. I'm doing this for the whole alternate universes, and him."

    "But…you…"

    "Wake up! I demand you to wake up now! (Y/N)!!"

    "It's not…worth for your own life."

    "Don't pity me. Pity for the one who can't help himself in his own nightmare."

    "Wake up."

   "Don't leave me…alone, (Y/N)…please…my love…"

   Ahh, it must be the time when he transfers into this horrible creature.

   Nightmare, who’s now in his uncorrupted form, widening his eyes.

   "…congratulations, (Y/N). Your suicidal plan…works."

   Dream doesn't recall when’s the last time he breaks down.

    No one dare to speak a word, except Dream drowning in his own pitiful cries.

     "Always."

     "I don't understand…he's hurting you, (Y/N). Are you still…in love with my brother?"

   You look at Nightmare with a smile, replying to him like it's the only correct answer in your mind.

[tamakiuwwdweeb]

🔥🔥 Dabi 🔥🔥

Sleeping touch~

Summary; A nurse with a relieving touch and a body that always felt pain, fate knocking on her house door in the middle of the night brought the troubled to her.

TW; blood, scars (Dabi), stitches, talks of experiencing high intensities of pain.

Y/n’s quirk was sleeping touch, her body produces a sedative that either puts said victim under sleep if she touches them and uses enough energy. Yet her mere touch acts as a an anxiety relevant, able to make the victim feel calm and relaxed.

Hero’s nor villains necessarily held a particular place in her heart, y/n could understand both sides equally. So she just became a nurse to heal the citizens of her city. Often she worked long night, and tiresome hours, arriving back sometimes at midnight days after she left home initially. But her quirk was too beneficial to just send her home, constantly she’d be called to help sedate or relieve a patient.

Y/n had just made it back home only to flop onto the living room sofa, face first. Completely exhausted, she failed to even flip herself over before drifting off to sleep. All the days patients discomfort seemed to linger in her mind, something about seeing someone in such a state that y/n was needed made her heart break. Though her body wanted rest so badly, y/n couldn’t just leave people to suffer. So with the bit of energy she still possessed, y/n dragged herself to go make some tea before opening the hospital files, marking which patients need which treatment, a task usually she’d do on the job but couldn’t anymore since the increase in wounded coming in.

The steady beat from a LoFi song in her headphones let her relax while drinking the tea and doing her work. Music seemed to make y/n lose herself into a peaceful and happy place. So after another hour of work, she glanced down to the clock to see her next shift was in a matter of hours again. Maybe if lucky, she’d have a two hour nap and get by the next few days on coffee and energy drinks.

But a sound in the background of the song made her head tilt. The sound of knocking wasn’t something she’d noticed before in the song. Ignoring it since she figured it was just something she’d missed in the playing song. Right after the song ended, a more rapid and urgent banging sound meant it definitely wasn’t in the song, it was someone at the door of her house.

Usually a knock at the front door in the middle of night was odd, but this was even more strange since it was the back door that was being hit repeatedly, the glass of the door being marked by red. Her blood went cold when she noted it to be a smear of blood. A part of y/n said not to open that door, that danger was lurking near by obviously… yet of course there was that nurse mentality overtaking that someone needed help regardless of her own safety.

With a deep breath, y/n opened the door ready to put the person outside to sleep without questioning who they were or what they wanted. Lucky for y/n the man stood hunched over, easy enough for y/n to instantly touch his forehead. But before he passed out, she pulled away. I’m case this was too serious, she didn’t want to put him under and make it so he couldn’t wake again.

“What happened?” Y/n questioned as she helped the random man into her living room, blood dripping on the floor as she struggled to keep his weight up.

The man said nothing as he took his jacket on, stitches on his arms bled as they ripped his skin, a large gash shown when he lifted the white shirt up slightly.

“Oh g- Okay, it’s going to be fine. Just lay down here, keep your upper torso elevated. I’ll be back with some stuff to clean you up.” She went to move but his wrist gripped hers tightly.

“I need pain meds.” He seethed out, her heart hurting from the strain in his voice. It was obvious he was use to pain, but the fact that he was in so much made y/n just want to take it all away from the man.

“Okay, I can use my quirk. Is that okay?” She moved to hover her hands over his better arm which didn’t have as much bleeding.

“…” without saying anything, he eyed her while she gently held his arm, as if he’d break like fine China under her touch.

“If you still feel pain after this, just tell me.” Her grey eyes completely whitened as she used her quirk, hoping she had enough energy left to held him.

“… How?” His voice came after a few seconds, the strain now gone as he leaned his head back, completely relaxed without any pain.

“My quirk… just stay here, let me get you a drink and some supplies. My names y/n, just shout if it comes back. I’ll be quick.” Y/n pushed his hair back in a soothing manner, a action his mother used to do to sooth him. The content man rested his eyes as he basked in the feeling of relief.

“Here you go, drink, I’ll help you…” y/n spoke quietly while she held his head up to drink, her hands alone made him feel at ease.

“Aren’t you scared I’m a bad man? I mean I come banging on the door at midnight bleeding and covered in scars.” He chuckled a bit while y/n bandaged and cleaned his scar wounds, taking care to clean his wounds gently in order to not hurt him more.

“Well of course, but I can’t leave you for dead. I’m a nurse, I doubt I could’ve left you out there even if I tried. Plus, seeing how my quirk helped you feel a relief is all I care about, makes the risk worth it even if it’s my last.” Y/n spoke but her eyes remained fixated on stitching his stomach wound together, it looking so perfect that it was unlikely it would scar him more.

“Pfft… imagine if I had you stitching me up all along, wouldn’t be looking like this, would I.” The man joked, a sad smile on y/n’s face.

“I know this is painful, I feel your pain… a secret of my quirk I suppose. The pain is reflected onto me instead of the person… I’m sorry I wouldn’t help sooner…” y/n finished stitching as she felt a tear leave her eye, surprising even herself. “Sorry, I get emotion when I feel someone’s pain, it’s like being in their shoes for five minutes, feeling what they do.”

“Why do that for a random person, it’s not like they’d do anything in return.” The man questioned with his eyes closed, completely relaxed.

“Don’t need anything in return though, the fact I could do something impactful means more to me, even if it’s just in one persons life. Guess that’s why I’ve never hated hero’s or villains, I see them as people. That’s it. If that person needs help, I’ll do it.” Y/n explained further walking into kitchen to clean up.

“Come here.” His voice was demanding but not in a harsh manner, more of a friendly tone. So after washing y/n’s hands, she walked and squatted in front him to sooth him again, figuring that was surely it. “I go by Dabi.”

“I go by y/n.” She smiled at him as she soothed him further while brushing her hand on his head, comforting him the best she could for the time being. “You’re always welcome here, Dabi. You get hurt or anything, my house is open. I know you are a villain, so I understand the whole not wanting to go to a hospital.” Y/n kept her voice low, his breathing slow and steady.

“Alright… thanks.” He answered back but grabbed her wrist before she could get up. “Do you constantly release that- your quirk?”

“Mhm, my whole body natural produces the ability but I just can focus it when I use energy. So when someone hugs are touches me at all, they usually become relaxed almost instantly.” Y/n laughed at memories of her friends yawning and falling asleep on dinner days out after accidentally touching her.

“So if I do this,” Dabi pulled y/n into his arms carefully, y/n not attempting to move, his embrace was so warm it made y/n relaxed instead. “It’ll just passively do that?” His body started getting comfortable made his guess correct.

“Mhm.” Y/n already felt her body give up, exhaustion was beyond after her forty hour shift at the hospital.

“Just… Just stay like this for a bit.” He mumbled, not admitting how much he had began to like y/n, her caring and loving nature was so different to what he had become normalized to.

“I’d like that… just no moving, let’s not open the stitch up…” y/n mumbled into his chest as she laid beside him on the couch. “Though I did make it pretty sturdy…”

“I like this… could get real use to sleeping like this.” He smirked looking down at her.

“Well I usually make dinner to feed two and just put the other half for the next day, so next time if you were to pass by uninjured would be best but still, there would be another plate for you. I can help you relax after again if you’d like of course.” She turned to look away after realizing what she was saying.

“Heh, alright then, don’t be surprised when I hold you up to that.” He smirked while placing his hand on her back, beginning to drift off asleep as well.

“I look forward to it…” the sound of soft snoring was a sign that they’d both passed out, that forty hour shift she had coming up in a few hours meant she’d have to call in sick. But then the idea of falling and being around villains came into mind, a smile on her face as she slept just thinking of all the people she could help that were too afraid to go to a hospital to get treated.

Once again she’d faced the next part of her life, maybe it was time to treat those that really need it, maybe the villains were more appreciative of someone with her quirk.

That night she’d signed herself mentally to helping Dabi with his wound, and maybe eventually helping the rest of his group. Unknowingly to her, Dabi was thinking of ways he could convince y/n to come join the league of villains. His determination to not let her go meant she’d have to one day be his, the first time he’d ever felt cared for and he wanted more moments that felt as good as they did now.

~~~~~~~~~

Hi! So of course characters rights are to MHA, if you have inspiration from any of my stories you’re welcome to write your own short/normal stories, just please give credit where it’s due! Copyrights of story line is my own, so again if you create something from inspiration this posts gives, just please tag and credit me <3

☁️ Much love to everyone. Stay healthy and safe out there bby ☁️ ~ H.N

Also if you know me, you don’t. ;-;

[writteninsunshine]

He’s Going The Distance - Chris Redfield/Ethan Winters - SFWish

Title: He’s Going The Distance

Author: Reno

Fandom: Resident Evil 7: Biohazard

Setting: Medbay, Post-Dulvey Incident

Pairing: Chris Redfield/Ethan Winters

Characters: Chris Redfield, Ethan Winters, Random Nurse

Genre: Hurt/Comfort/Romance

Rating: M

Chapters: 1/1

Word Count: 1386

Type Of Work: One-Shot, Part of the For All These Times series, Whump Bingo Fill #2

Status: Complete

Warnings: Gay, Slash, Yaoi, MLM, Pre-Slash, Canon-Typical Violence, Dissociating, Blood, Deep Wounds, Trans Male Character, Trans!Ethan Winters, Possible OOC for Chris, Medical Equipment, Medical Treatment, Stitches, Sutures, I.V.s, Pain Meds

Disclaimer: I don’t own anything.

Summary: Was Ethan truly so used to pain that he didn't notice that?

AN: Hey guys, it’s me again! Just thought I ought to say, if you want vague updates and to talk to me more, I have a writing Tumblr, too! Twitter is Sunshinecackle, and Tumblr is Writteninsunshine! I also have a writing Discord that is currently pretty dead. xD If you want it, please contact me on Twitter!

More whump fic bingo! I’m really enjoying these, they’re too much fun to write. Oops, I like to punish Ethan even if he doesn’t deserve it. He’s so whumpable. I hope you guys are enjoying this, I know I sure am. This one is for my editor, Gryph, who is the best editor I could ever ask for. MAJOR shout out to her!

Resident Evil Fic Masterlist

Ethan Whump Bingo Fic Masterlist

He’s Going The Distance

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

There was an old thought resurfacing as Chris looked at Ethan. A man who could live through anything was what S.T.A.R.S. had wanted, Ethan would have been welcomed into the fold. The man was a machine when it came to surviving anything. Despite this, he seemed too oblivious to notice when something was wrong with him. All the healing fluid in the world couldn’t help the man with how much constant pain wracked his body. It was almost impossible to discern one pang of pain from the rest. That hand was a nasty wound, the staples not quite sanitary when they’d been secured into his skin.

But that wasn’t what he’d noticed just now.

“Ethan,” He began, his voice soft and wary as if speaking too loudly might shatter the other man. “You’re bleeding.”

“I am?” His voice sounded exhausted, hoarse, and so soft Chris barely heard him.

Tugging him closer for inspection, he unbuttoned Ethan’s shirt and pulled it away like a pair of curtains. Yanking up the undershirt he wore, Chris paused a moment to stare. Unable to help how his fingers splayed over the other’s stomach, eyes taking in the thick scars beneath his pecs. His thoughts turned away from the injury for a second, he only stopped when he reached the center of Ethan’s chest. He took in the soft peach fuzz there with a quirk of his lips he wasn’t in control of. Finally, his fingers fell over the thick gash leaking over Ethan’s pale skin, and the touch made Ethan recoil some. 

“Don’t,” Chris warned, eyes narrowing a little as he reached around, pulling Ethan close again by his waist, a hand on his middle back, “You’re hurt. I’ll fix you right up.” 

Leaving Ethan for a moment, he returned with a basin of warm water and a few washcloths. Where he’d gotten them from, Ethan didn’t know, and he couldn’t find it in himself to care. 

Dragging one wet cloth over the blood, he cleaned Ethan up despite his hisses and gasps of pain. What was the best option was going to hurt, so Chris started by applying a local anesthetic gel to the area around the wound. He must have found it when he brought the rest of his supplies, Ethan figured. He winced, flinching when Chris’s hands got too close to the weeping injury, but he sucked in a deep breath and bit the thin skin on the inside of his lip. It was all he could do to keep himself from making any more noise.

“I’m going to have to give you stitches.” Honestly, Chris was worried that Ethan was going to start leaking organs. It was deep, and he could almost touch the other’s rib bones. Ethan had really taken a beating, and it was hard to fathom how he hadn’t noticed this. Then again, he was in shock after everything that had happened, after all of the mental and physical trauma he had taken. Maybe it wasn’t such a strange occurrence. 

After all, he was a civilian. He hadn’t been meant to find these kinds of things. If he had stayed away, he would have been blissfully unaware, but there might have been a worse problem on Chris’ hands by the time they arrived at the scene.

“Okay.” Letting out the breath he’d been holding, Ethan nodded just slightly to save him from aggravating his pounding headache, “Just… Do it quickly. I don’t feel good.” Swaying, he felt his knees begin to buckle, and Chris caught him in a tight embrace. This wasn’t going to work with Ethan standing, anyway.

Hefting him up bridal style, Chris carried Ethan like he weighed nothing. Sitting him down on a nearby gurney, he removed his shirts and set them aside. They were stained, torn to hell, and bloody. He’d have to get him a change of clothes. Helping ease him to lay down so that his right side was facing out, he ran a hand over the other’s chest in a hope to help calm him. Maybe it wasn’t entirely innocent, but he was trying to stay focused here.

“This might hurt, but I promise I’ll be quick.” All Chris got in return was a soft murmur he couldn’t hear, let alone understand. If nothing else, Chris was efficient, and Ethan looked like he was going to faint. That might help him do this without Ethan bellyaching the whole time. Stepping away, Chris grabbed a first aid kit, opening it up and setting it beside Ethan on the cot. Digging out a needle, some antiseptic, and surgical thread, he worked the thread through the eye of the needle and set to work.

The laceration was likely already infected, if not by something typical, then by the mold Ethan had been exposed to. With a little sigh, Chris poured some of the liquid over it, making sure to use gauze to get it inside. The forceps he had grabbed entering it made Ethan grunt, but he was too tired to try and fight it. Chris diligently worked on cleaning him up, wiping at more blood before grabbing the sterilized needle. He wiped it down again with a clean antiseptic wipe before starting with the initial stick. Ethan didn’t seem to notice this, due to the numbing gel, and Chris was glad for it.

With the easy glide of the needle and his skillful hands, he made quick work of the stitches, hoping not to bother Ethan too much. Once they were tight, he cut the cord and cleaned up the wound once more, wiping away the gel with a few medical towelettes, before drying the area. To make sure it would stay clean, he rubbed another cloth damp with warm water on the site before running more of the wipes over it. A dry rag then worked over the glistening flesh, and he didn’t stop until he had patted him dry.

“Ethan, I need you to sit up. I have to wrap this.” Chris spoke, breaking the silence in the room they were in. Unfortunately, it seemed that Ethan had fallen asleep, or maybe passed out, so he had no choice but to gently shake him awake. “Ethan, you have to sit up.”

Ethan nodded absently, slowly pushing himself up with the other’s aid. Bracing himself on his shaking arms, he let Chris wrap him up with gauze from his stomach to his shoulders, surprised by his gentle hands. Once Ethan was bandaged up, he was allowed to lay back once more, and Chris didn’t think about his next action. Kissing Ethan’s forehead gently, he petted a hand over the skin and the other’s sweat-damp hair.

“You should be alright, now. I’ll keep an eye on this.” Voice quiet, he smiled slightly, hoping to keep him at ease. It didn’t seem like Ethan was going to panic, though, too worn down to do much but flutter his eyelashes. “Sleep, now. I’ll get you some pain killers when you wake up.” God knew he’d need them. Moving the gurney around so that he could be more comfortable and closer to the setup for the I.V., Chris sighed in relief. Already asleep, or so he hoped.

Settling in a nearby chair, Chris pulled out his phone. He’d be stuck here for a while, for sure. It wasn’t like he had anything better to do, he’d been set to guard Ethan while his tests were being done.

Ethan didn’t wake for what felt like hours, and when he did it was with a groan of pain. Chris was quick to give him water and a shot of morphine that he was instructed to administer through the I.V. that a nurse had given Ethan. At the very least, he was going to be taken care of.

“Thanks.” Ethan managed, his voice cracking halfway through. 

“You need care.” That much was obvious. Chris combed a hand through the other’s blond locks once more. “If that means I have to do it, then so be it.” There was an odd fondness he felt for Ethan in this moment, watching him nod, his eyes glassy and distant. “You’ll be okay.”

With any luck, he’d bounce back from this. He’d been through hell already, what was another ordeal to save him?

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

AN: There we go! It’s not super shippy but I’ll still tag it, just in case. Also, this probably makes more pain for the start of The Village, but that’s okay. I might write something about it when I’ve seen more of the game. I got it preordered for my birthday but it’s at my friend’s house until I can see her again. I’ve been watching it, however, so I’ll get there eventually. I hope you guys enjoyed it!

Prompt: Ethan Doesn’t Realize He’s Injured

[painless-innit-colourful]

‘Two Down, One To Go’ - part 1

My biggest gripe with how late the three canon lives system was brought in is that the early deaths never got the weight they deserved in canon. So I fixed that. The night of L’Manberg’s independence is the biggest party any of them have ever attended, but Tommy’s not in a merry mood. Tubbo finds out why. Featuring a little headcanon about how a person knows how many lives they have left.

part two | part three

---

Night of Independence

“One, two, three, four, five-” His heart was racing, fingers tightening on the bowstring. There was a kind of dread in his heart like never before. Not only was Dream a better shot than him; he knew it. And to bet both the future of his country and one of his discs on his abilities…

“-six, seven, eight, nine-” His arms ached; his whole body ached. Bruises and scrapes and barely healed gashes littered his limbs from Eret’s betrayal. That b*stard. He snuck a glance at his fellows. They’d all lost so much today. All their things, a war, a country; not to mention a life apiece. Something had erupted inside of him when they’d woken back in the camarvan with a tally mark each: something red and explosive. And they returned his gaze, Tubbo and Fundy watching with bated breath. He couldn’t see Wilbur from the direction he was facing, but he imagined his expression was about the same. Fear, apprehension and just the smallest sliver of hope.

“-Ten paces fire!” And then it died, for the second time in twenty-four hours. As did Tommy.

The mood around the campfire was merry. Wilbur had poured them all drinks (watered down for everyone but him, especially Fundy) and was currently leading him and Tubbo in a half-drunk singalong of something that had started as the L’Manberg anthem, that had since devolved into innuendos about explosions and jokes about ‘independance’, though they kept in the parts with the names and the ‘it’s a very real and not blown up L’Manberg’. Tommy tried to have a good time, shouting “F*ck Eret!” every time that line came up, but the feeling was bittersweet. He slipped his hand inside his shirt and felt the tiny ridges. Two tallies. He hadn’t told the others yet. They’d given him enough pity when he’d told them how he’d traded away the discs. He didn’t need them fawning over him for this as well.

Unfortunately, it seemed he hadn’t been subtle enough. Tubbo sat down beside him, out of breath from dancing and grinning at Wilbur’s antics, and the first thing he laid his eyes on when he looked to Tommy was his hand inside his shirt. Tommy internally cursed himself and quickly removed it, but Tubbo had already latched onto the topic, “Feels weird doesn’t it?”

“Hm?” “The… Death mark.” A slight tremor passed over him, his eyes wandering down to where his own sat. The marks always showed just below a person’s collarbone, on the left side of the chest, close to the heart. “Maybe not weird but… I never expected to have one this- this early.” His words hung in the night air. They were both just kids, Fundy too, and they were all too close to a permanent death than they should be. But Tommy found some solace in how his friends had survived the war gaining only one. They were the lucky ones. Tommy had not only lost his most valued possessions but another life too. There was a line to death, and now Tommy walked along it, feet placed end to end like an acrobat tip-toeing a tightrope. Any moment now could be his last forever. It was unlikely he’d die right this second: he’d just secured peace for goodness’ sake, but what if? All it could take now was a stray arrow, a random attacker, a careless match finding an explosive in an untouched corner of L’Manberg, and that would be it for him. Gone.

Tubbo shuffled closer, “Tommy, are you okay man?” Drat. Once again, his face betrayed his feelings. He glanced around the partying men. Of all the people here, he trusted Tubbo the most, but mainly, the secret was starting to weigh him down worse than a full suit of netherite. He was tired of saying he was fine. Besides, it was Tubbo. His best friend, his brother. They’d been fighting together since the beginning: the Disc War, the Pet Wars and most of his other scuffles with citizens of the SMP, major and minor. He could trust Tubbo.

“Tubbo, I… Give me your hand.” One boy put his hand in the others’, and Tommy laid it on his chest, where they could both feel the lines representing a betrayal and a duel through the thin fabric of his shirt. Tubbo’s face changed from concern to horror to pity as he ran his fingers back and forth over the two ridges, checking, again and again, to verify what he couldn’t quite believe was true.

“You never said-” He started to say, but Tommy silenced him with a finger to his own lips hurriedly. “I didn’t want to worry anyone.” He sighed. “Or detract from the celebrations. I’m fine. It’s just a second mark.” Tubbo gave him a look halfway between disappointment and sympathy. “First of all, it’s not ‘just a second mark’ and second, you know that because I can see it on your face. It’s affecting you, dude.” Tommy looked away, closing his hand around Tubbo’s. “I don’t wanna think about it tonight, but I can’t-” He looked around at his four closest comrades. “I can’t stop running it over in my head, how much we’ve lost.” He gestured around them, at the land of their country torn apart, at the small patch of scorched grass they’d found sound enough to celebrate on. His eyes met Tubbo’s, creased with worry. “Five lives between us. Five.”

“Well… We’ve lost a lot, but we’ve also gained, y’know? What you did-” “How do you feel?” “Hm?” Tommy squeezed Tubbo’s hand. “How does it feel to be down a life?” “Don’t you remember?” He smiled faintly. “It was only this morning.” “I was a bit preoccupied, Tubbs.” They giggled half-heartedly. “True.” There was a moment of quiet broken only by the sounds of the party, and then; “I suppose I’m okay. I know I’m a bit closer to dying now, but I’ve still got another chance. So I can manage, I think.” “Do you feel more… mortal? Vulnerable?” Tommy’s voice was small. “Yeah. Like, I know what it’s like to die now- or, I know I can die. That it’s possible. I think that’s what it’s like for the others as well.”

Tubbo’s gaze drifted to look over at Wilbur, and Tommy’s soon followed. “Well, he seems fine.” The blonde remarked as Wilbur whirled past, drink in hand, a brown coat over his revolutionary uniform, adding more and more names from the crowd around them to the anthem as Fundy looked on, bemused. “I guess,” Tubbo shrugged. “He’s a bit older, so it’s less… jarring to be down one. Still not ideal, but not entirely unexpected.” “Well he’s certainly taking it well.” And at that Tubbo laughed. “He’s also quite drunk. So drunk he hasn’t noticed Fundy’s stopped watering his beers down.” That brought forth a small smile from Tommy. Tubbo continued: “He’s had time, y’know?” He paused, waiting for Tommy to look him in the eye. “When… When did you notice it?”

“After Dream took off with the discs. I finally came down from the adrenaline rush when I was alone in my house, just before I got back on comms to let you guys know. I felt it while I was taking off my armour. The tiniest little sting... And there it was.” He remembers standing alone in his house, examining both the duel scar and the extra mark in the grimy mirror he’d taken off the wall and leant on the floor. For a moment it was like the floor had gone out from beneath him again, but luckily this time it wasn’t an explosion. It hadn’t crossed his mind before then: all his brainpower had been in use, between worrying for his friends, discs, country and bow skills. The physical and mental pain of losing the duel had kept his mind off his own mortality as well, but there it was, staring him in the face, taunting him.

‘Two lives in less than twenty-four hours,’ it seemed to say (and he’d be omitting important details to not mention how it spoke in an American accent) ‘You won’t make it to twenty, or eighteen, or even your next birthday. Are you running out of time? Are you running out of time? Are you running out of ti-’

“What you did was incredibly brave and selfless.” Tubbo’s voice snapped him out of the memory of Death calling out to him, or maybe that was just him being melodramatic. “More like stupid. I didn’t know what I was doing.” “Well, Wilbur did tell you, he said ‘ohh Tommy, this country isn’t worth your life’.” “I wasn’t thinking.” “Well... I don’t care.” Tubbo squeezed his hand. “And maybe that’s a little selfish, but we’re free because of the trade you made, and maybe you’d never have pushed Dream to that point without the duel. I don’t know. But now we’re free. We’ve been beaten down by that tyrant for so long, but now we’re finally free.” He gave him a firm smile, “Yeah.” It was hard not to get swept up in Tubbo’s good moods, so Tommy reached for his drink. “Cheers. To L’Manberg!” “L’Manberg!” Tubbo knocked his tankard into Tommy’s and they both took a long drink. Wilbur overheard them and knocked Fundy’s drink out of his hands in his tipsy enthusiasm, and then there was another round of My L’Manberg. And as Tommy listened to the growing, rowdy chorus of his country, he let go of his fears for a while. Maybe they’d never leave him for the rest of his life, but for right now, they had their walls, their drinks and their song.

And as long as there were more crosses on the flag than lines on his tally, he’d be fine.

---

Taglist: @nixavia @zrenia (Please let me know if you’d like to be on the taglist in future :)

[y0itsbri]

Red Meets Blue

for a.u.gust @gallavichthings - a time travel au of sorts

slightly abstract & angstier than i expected. i realize that red and blue are the characters in 'this is how you lose the time war.' although i haven't read that, there may have been some subconscious influence with the names.

uhhh fair warning: writing this made me cry so idk if that's a personal problem or if i actually wrote something sad so sorry in advance

words: 1.9k

Ian turned his glass over in his hands, watching the amber liquid chase the fall of gravity. Red lights overhead illuminated his fingertips, still shaky.

He jumped when the bar door was heaved up with more force than necessary, causing it to leave a dent in the wood behind it.

An unfamiliar face strode in like he owned the place, which wouldn't be abnormal if Ian hadn't frequented this bar since he was seven. He knew he didn't recognize this man. And yet he couldn't look away.

"Tequila."

A cup was filled almost instantly and he downed it even quicker.

"Another one." The man pounded on the bar. The bartender filled his glass again and moved onto the next patron when he didn't request another.

Ian couldn't help but stare. There was something about him that Ian simply couldn't tear himself away from. His gruff but confident demeanor. His short stature but loud presence. His cool energy but warm aura.

And apparently his ability to see out of his own two fucking eyeballs because he was staring directly at Ian with a glint of something in his eye.

"Can I fuckin' help you?" The man's dark eyebrows shot up his forehead as the corners of his lips tugged up into a half smirk.

Ian's thoughts clouded over as he watched the man's features, but he successfully managed to stutter out a "No, sir."

The man outright laughed. "Sir," he mocked with no real heat in his words. "'m just fuckin' with ya."

Ian released a breath he hadn't noticed he was holding.

"Can I buy your next round?" Ian asked, eager to amend any tensions with the newcomer.

"I gotta go, but I'll see you around, Red, don't worry," and he winked.

Red.

"Uh- sure." Ian murmured long after the door had already closed behind the unnamed man.

---

Ian stopped by the bar at nearly the same time everyday. It had been over a week since the mysterious man who called him 'Red' had made an appearance. Ian would have thought the whole thing as some hallucination if there wasn't that dent in the wall behind the front door. Proof that Ian wasn't completely off his rocker. At least yet. He scrubbed his hands down the side of his face and closed his eyes.

He hadn't remembered falling asleep, but he woke up to the sound of a glass clinking on the table mere inches from his head. He expected one of the usual workers, kicking him out of his table for the night. Which is why it startled him all the more when he heard that unfamiliar familiar voice.

"How's it hanging, Sleeping Beauty?" He smiled at Ian, almost like he was the butt of a joke he didn't know was going on, but also with something more akin to fondness. Either way, Ian didn't understand and he was even slower at responding. He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, assuming the dark-haired man was solely a figment of his dreams.

He remained.

The man pushed the glass closer to Ian. His usual amber liquid replaced with something more red.

"It's your usual, just with cherries. Wanted something a bit more colorful, but fair warning, it might taste like shit." He smirked.

Ian only stared between him and the drink.

"Here, I'll try it, it's not drugged or whatever, promise." Ian watched as the man took a sip and proceeded to grimace. "On second thought, maybe don't try that. It does taste like shit. It's the sentiment that counts though, right, Red?"

There it was again. Red.

Ian took in the sight in front of him. His eyes were blue. Piercingly blue. Cold but open. Daring Ian to share all of his secrets. His gaze travelled down to his cheek. There was a wide scratch along the side of the man's face. Surely that hadn't been there a week ago. But the gash was too healed for it to not have been.

"Your cheek?" He mustered through his confusion.

The man's smile faltered for a moment, revealing something akin to fear, before perking up even brighter than before. A façade maybe. "Observant fucker aren't you?"

Ian didn't know why he felt so safe. He'd all but spoken a few sentences to the stranger. He didn't even know his name. But he held his gaze like the answers to all his prayers were floating in the pools of blue. Like maybe he was supposed to be here. Like maybe this meant something. Like maybe he meant something.

Blue.

---

Ian didn't go to the bar everyday anymore, but told the bartender to let him know if the man, Blue, ever stopped by again.

Ian spent days at home and nights at school. He kept himself busy. He kept himself on track, at least what he thought was a proper track. It was something. And he was starting to feel proud of his progress. Of his stability.

On a seemingly random Thursday, after a particularly gruesome exam, he found himself at the bar again. His usual table was occupied so he turned to leave. But before he could do so, he recognized the occupant. Maybe not by name, but by being. He sat down across from him.

"Red."

"Blue."

They greeted. They smiled. Like it was a secret.

Blue was first to speak, as usual.

"You look well."

Ian blushed. He didn't know the man, but he felt his words in earnest. Ian took in the man's face. The gash that previously took up half his cheek was now nothing but a faded shiny scar. But a vibrant bruise colored his eye socket. Ian knew not to ask. But nevertheless commented.

"Wish I could say the same for you."

Blue smiled, his eyes, bruise and all, crinkling. Ian was sure it hurt to smile that big, but if it did, he couldn't tell.

Ian felt something strong. A connection of sorts. He looked down at his fingertips, slightly purple. He looked up at the lights, a couple burnt out. He felt a boot kick his own under the table.

"Here." Two glasses of amber liquid were waiting on the table between them. "No cherries."

They clinked glasses. It felt like a celebration of sorts. Of what, Ian didn't know. He didn't care.

---

Days had come and gone. Weeks had come and gone. Ian spent days at work and nights at home. Home being alone. Not quite lonely, but not quite right either. Ian didn't go to the bars much anymore. He ordered in quite a bit, working exhausting him too much, his social life working not enough. He heard a knock at his door, expecting it to be his usual takeout. Instead, he was greeted with Blue.

Ian's mouth dropped open in an o. It had been months, going on a year maybe? Blue's scar and bruise looked the same, as if nothing had changed.

"Got your address from the barkeep. I told them it was an emergency and you left this," He wiggled a jacket in front of him, "They said you were a family friend. Sorry, man, I would've came sooner, but I didn't know how to-"

Ian tugged Blue's shirt, inviting him inside. Inviting him into his arms. Into his mouth. He was warm and he made Ian feel right.

Later, when their bodies were bare and tangled under Ian's sheets, heartbeats thrumming red blood through blue veins, Ian slipped the truth into the universe.

"Ian."

Blue turned his head upwards and caressed the side of Ian's face, "Ian, you're beautiful."

A pause stretched between the two of them long enough that Ian began to drift off, floating into his dreams. Taking the form of a swan, Blue's voice spoke, "Mickey."

Mickey.

It was the last thing he remembered him by.

---

Years had passed. There had been up and downs. High highs and low lows. His hair was strands of salt and pepper. His cheeks a shade of tomato red. His body kissed by the sun. He let his mind wander quite a bit, but he was happy enough. He didn't move as fast as he used to, but he was doing alright.

On an autumn day, his daughter, home from college, strolled into the living room of his house, hand in hand with another girl. Ian couldn't not stare. The girl's blue eyes met his green.

He was hit with something. A realization. A pillow. His daughter threw it at him. "Dad, stop staring at Mandy!" Mandy. It wasn't familiar but it wasn't unfamiliar.

Ian cleared his throat, "Uh, yeah, sorry about that. Are you staying for dinner? We're making spaghetti."

Mandy smiled, her eyes crinkling with it. "That'd be great."

Her voice rang in the air as Ian prepped the food. Laughter coming from his daughter's bedroom.

---

Mandy came around pretty often after that. Birthdays. Holidays. Weekends.

Things were fine before, they were. But with Mandy around, things felt better. Closer. Fuller.

One Thanksgiving, Mandy asked if her brother could join them. He had just gotten back from his backpacking trip or something or other.

He had to have known, right?

The doorbell rang, a familiar chime echoing throughout the near-empty house aside from the table set for four waiting in the dining room.

Ian opened the door and came face to face with Blue.

"This is my brother, Mickey. Thanks again for letting him come over!" Mandy hugged Ian once before running off to find his daughter.

Red and Blue stared at each other for a long moment. Too long. Not long enough. He looked the exact same as he did all those years ago. Blue smiled. Mickey smiled. Ian's vision became blurry.

Mickey spoke first as usual, "I'm sorry it's been so long." An edge of regret in his voice.

A hot tear trailed down Ian's cheek, mimicking the scar on Blue's own.

Mickey wiped the tear gently. He let his hand fall onto Ian's clutching tightly. You're here. You're real.

"I'm here now."

Dinner was filled with loud chatter and laughs from the girls, oblivious to the intense gazes between Red and Blue. Between Ian and Mickey.

Ian didn't know how long this would last this time, afraid to imagine a lonely future without him again. He wouldn't let himself think any thoughts besides this feels good, this feels right.

---

Ian and Mickey spent time together. Learning the secrets of Red and Blue - past, present, future alike.

When all the secrets were spilled, they both knew this was it. There was nothing else left to learn, to do. They had explored each other's bodies, memorizing each freckle and scar like the universe was written in them. And maybe it was.

Time was incomprehensible and it ripped a shred through their reality.

Mickey had to go. He didn't when he could return. If he could return in time.

Ian's fingers brushed across Mickey's eyelid, under the purple hollows of his eye. He felt the flutter of Blue's eyelashes. Mickey's fingers combed through the locks of hair atop Ian's head, no longer red.

Maybe this was it. And maybe it wasn't. But they had existed together in something that was real.

Something Purple.

[kagemaruzest69]

Lovesick {Karl Heisenberg x Reader}

Ch. 4 - {A Monster in Progress} 

*I updated a note at the end of this chapter, please take a look. -----‐--------------------------------------------

【ωє αяє συя σωη мσηѕтєяѕ αη∂ тнυѕ, ωє ƒєαя συяѕєℓνєѕ тнє мσѕт】

Morning came by quickly, (Y/N)'s delicate left hand rubbed her eyes as she woke up from her deep slumber, feeling groggy before she sat up on the couch and stretched her arms. The smell of oil, grease and tobacco was heavier in the room this morning than what she remembered last night. (Y/N)'s eyes found themselves directed over to the bed where Heisenberg was asleep. It seemed that he had worked late last night and went to bed right away. He looked so peaceful in his sleep as his chest rose and fell in a steady rhythm.

The man was lying on his back, shirtless save for his pants. His fedora hat and glasses were placed on the table next to his bed. The female's eyes locked on his manly features, noticing that parts of his body were still covered in grease such as his hands, a small part of each of his arms and his upper body. His body was quite toned beneath those thick clothing he always used.

Upon walking closer and sat softly on the bed, she noticed that there were many scars ran across his body and face. The scars were barely visible, but it was there if one were to inspect the mechanic closely. This made the female's lips curled in a soft but sad smile, thinking about what kind of experiments and pain he had gone through to have such scars on his beautiful male body.

Her right hand reached over to his breast as they traced the scar softly to his collarbone, higher to his neck and his jaw before resting on his left cheek. Right when she was about to touch the scar on his face with her fingers, she was suddenly pinned down onto her back on the bed as a result of his reflex towards anything that could harm him in his sleep. Heisenberg's right hand was placed on between her collarbone to pin her down and his other hand held a knife to her throat.

(Y/N)'s eyes widened as she felt a cold metal placed on her neck which was a sharp knife that was called beforehand onto his grip by his power. When Karl realized that it was just (Y/N), he released her body, but his sharp and judging eyes remained on her. "It is not an honorable thing for a woman to touch a man on his bed." He spoke as he rose from the bed. "Especially when she is in his den." He moved over to his closet to take a shirt out and went to the direction of his bathroom.

She sat up and looked down ashamed, "Please forgive my rudeness... it's just that you look so peaceful and that you deserve a better life, a normal life. Those scars on you, I am sure even if they were barely visible now, they still hurt and haunt you, don't they?"

Heisenberg scoffed, "What do you know about me and my life?" He turned his face over his shoulder to look at her form. "I know nothing." She responded, knowing he was right. He went to the bathroom and proceeded to wash himself.

The (H/C) haired woman went back to the couch and sat. Her thoughts once again raced about how she was also infected. Would she be able to understand him one day? Does she even want to understand his pain? The answer is yes. She must if she wanted to survive within the village. Knowing how to handle the pain and nightmare of the mold would totally help her adapt in this place until she would be able to escape.

Not long after, Heisenberg came out of the bathroom, fully clothed. He walked over to the table where he put his fedora and sunglasses. He picked them up and placed them at where they were supposed to be, "Have you felt anything different regarding your body?" (Y/N) shook her head as a no. "Let's assume that the mold within your body is still developing but with a fast pace and you are not really affected by its side effect. It could serve as a sign that you have a great connection or rather affinity with the mold."

"Am I going to be experimented on like you?" She had a worried look on her face, "As long as Miranda doesn't find out, you will be fine." She was content with his answer as she went to the bathroom to wash herself. Since she brought her bag with her to the factory, she had some of her clothes still. She picked to use a grey tank top with a beige jean. It wasn't long until she finished and came out from the bathroom.

"Is it possible to hide from her though?" He lifted his hammer easily with one hand as he headed for the door after he saw her coming out from the bathroom. "Nearly impossible but still possible. Though, I will be the one to perform the experiment on you to ensure that she won't be able to control or detect your mold."

Hearing his sentence, she gulped. She had seen what he did within these walls. Those numerous soldats would have been able to serve more than a proof of his capabilities of turning someone into an eldritch monster. But she chose to trust him still. "We will begin the experiment two days from now." He informed.

"In the meantime, entertain me with a tale about yourself." He motioned for her to follow him. "Well, I work or rather, used to be a data analyst. I don't think that it matters now, I bet the company would have fired me by now." She let out a dry chuckle.

Heisenberg just hummed in response as a clue for her to continue her talk and he would listen patiently to her. "I am only 22, used to live in (City name) and my boyfriend is James. He works at the same company as I did as a data engineer. He is such a romantic, loyal and humorous man." She smiled at the memory of her lover.

"Yet, he tried to kill you." Karl retorted. "I am sure it was not him who attacked me." (Y/N) spoke firmly to defend her lover. Heisenberg sighed as he took a drag from his cigarette that he had lit up earlier during their walk. He exhaled the smoke right to her face. "Wake up darling. He left you here." He spoke firmly. "If he had already escaped the village, fear not, for the mold within his body will attract him back to the village and by then, I will prove it to you my dear, that you are wrong about him."

She gritted her teeth and slapped Heisenberg really hard right then. That was sure to leave a red mark on his cheek. His cigarette fell to the floor as his face was turned to the right side. Heisenberg snapped his head back to her and pinned her to the wall by her neck. "You should face the truth. Do not be a coward." He growled as his body was fuming with his anger.

From the very moment the two met each others, their connection had always spiked like this, one minute they would be talking casually like a pair of good old friends and the next minute, they were fighting like they were enemies.

This time, she had recovered well and she was able to grab his arm with both of her hands hard enough to have her nails dug into his flesh. Her power began to show its color. He threw her across the hallway, which resulted in her hitting her back to the wall and she coughed up some blood. "Bastard..." she murmured as she wiped the blood from her mouth with her arm.

"You are the bastard here! You slapped me because I told you the truth! Would you prefer that I lied to your face instead?" Karl spoke as he stalked over to her with a dangerous aura surrounded him. "Like that bloody James did? HUH?!" His hammer was placed on his dominant hand, ready to smash her into pieces.

She would not give him the upper hand and decided to charge him head on. She tried to punch him but he evaded easily with a side step and moved his foot onto her back, kicking her to the ground before he planted it down on her back. "Do you have a death wish woman?!" he bellowed down to her.

She groaned in pain as she tried to get up from under his feet. She felt a strange power surging through her veins onto both of her hands as her fingers grew longer and sharper. The muscles on her body became stiff as (Y/N) lifted herself off of the ground. He was caught off his guard as he saw her fingers turned to claws, this enabled her to free herself from his foot and within a quick second, she moved as swift as the wind as she turned over to him and slashed him across his chest with her new claws.

Her attack was too fast for him to register and thus, blood spurted from his chest. The gash was deep and clean. Any mortal would have died right away or died because of the blood loss from the deep gash within a few minutes. He looked down to his chest and strangely, his regeneration power had slowed down. It was as if something was keeping his skin tissue from healing. He was positive that it had something to do with her developing power. Before he could say or do anything, she was about to attack him once again, but he managed to slam his beloved hammer towards her head on.

Instinctively, she put both of her arms out in defend but she was not strong enough. She was agile yes, but her brute force was still weaker than his. She chose to jump backward because she realized that she won't be able to handle the hammer's pressure any longer. The moment she jumped away, the hammer came down in contact with the ground and broke parts of the cement, sending some sharp pieces of the cement flying at a random direction.

Suddenly, she felt her heart raced, its beating faster and faster within her chest. The pain was unbearable as she let out a cry of pain. Her vision became blurred and she fell to her knees. Her hands supported her weight as she heaved, trying to stay conscious. (Y/N) was new to this power and it sure had taken a huge toll on her body. Her body was having a shock at the sudden transformation of her body and muscles. She will need time to adapt and train her body to the new power.

Heisenberg just watched in amazement of her power with a sickening grin. Plans already formulating within his brain, because if her power enabled her to inflict wound and slowed the recovery or even disabled the wound to be healed, she would truly be a huge help to him in his plan to bring Miranda down.

Not long after, he was brought out of his thoughts by her howl of agony as she called out to him before falling limp to the floor as the darkness enclosed her vision. He walked over to her and brought her body over his left shoulder as if she weighted nothing. His right hand held onto his hammer as he dragged her back to his quarter. He placed her down on his bed and went to grab some first aid to close his newly received wound, at least until it would close and heal properly. He did not want to risk dying because of stupid blood loss, especially not when he had found a trump card, a great piece to his plan.

-----‐-------------------------------------------- *Hello guys! I hope that you all have been enjoying the story up to this point. I would like to know your opinions on the story so far and what do you guys expect to see in the future? How would you like this story to progress? What kind of interaction between the reader and Heisenberg that you wanted to see and read? Please do leave your suggestion below. I really appreciate that❤ and thank you for the support so far

[nebraska-is-a-myth]

Drown your sorrows - part 7

Grab your tissues dude, this one is not a happy one at all. I'm sorry in advanced

special shout out to my pal @hufflepuffkilljoy for helping me with some details for this chapter. I also feel like they’re going to kill me after reading this so wish me luck.

Masterlist

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Tommy is fortunate enough to stay conscious this time.

It's a lot warmer than the warehouse was and he's still just as afraid.

But he feels more prepared for the heat now.

Tubbo was so close to the first explosion, too close. Tommy watches the blast separate them and he can hear his friends desperate coughs from across the burning room. He can't get up, his wrist is hurt and his injured leg burns every time he tries to put pressure on it. He calls for Tubbo but he doesn't think his friend can hear him between his endless coughing and the roaring flames.

He's so thankful Tubbo isn't alone when Eret finally shows, the older man slips masks on both of them and they huddle together for a moment before Tommy hears something explode below them. He tries to cling to Eret as he reaches for Tubbo and they all plummet down into freezing water.

He and Eret sink into the water and the harshness of it makes Tommy gasp. 

Water seeps in through his mask and the tightness of it makes him panic

He attempts to take the mask off, as if that might make him less disorientated.

It's doesn't

He takes a big gulp of water into his mouth and suddenly he can't stop.

He's drowning.

His limbs flail about and he cant help but scream into the water as pain ruptures through him. He keeps taking in more and more water and his lungs spasm as they fill with murky liquid. Tommy doesn't know where he is, it's dark and cold and he doesn't know which way is up and if his body wasn't already submerged in water he thinks he might cry.

Tommy doesn't want to die

There are so many things he hasn't done yet, so many things he hasn't said.

He wanted to take Tubbo to his favorite place in the city and go adventuring through the abandoned buildings Dream used to let him demolish when he was angry or upset. He wanted to tell his best friend in the whole word that he loved him, that they were brothers until the end. He never really had the courage to say it before now, thought it would make him sound childish and weird. ( Really he was just afraid that Tubbo wouldn't feel the same, and he wasn't ready to let his best friend go just yet. )

He wanted to thank Wilbur for taking him into l’manburg, for trusting him and becoming the older brother figure he never thought he needed ( or wanted ). For teaching him how to properly aim a gun and negotiate something without shouting, for letting him become the heir to the empire they built. 

He thinks about all the movie nights with fundy and Eret, remembers popcorn fights and sleepovers, baking competitions and playing video games till early dawn. He remembers waking up from nightmares and talking to Eret about his scars, sharing the good and the bad with each and every one of them.

As the seconds roll past, Tommy can feel himself suffocating. His lungs fill with more and more water and his body starts to shut down, the pain is everywhere and nowhere and slowly he becomes blissfully aware that he is going to die here.

In the back of his mind he hopes that dream knows he’s forgiven. If he’s going to die he might as well forgive the man, he knows deep down that dream never wanted any of this and he hopes that his death will spark something in the man, and prevent the bloodshed of his friends.

The last thing on Tommys mind before the darkness swallows him is Technoblade, and he wonders if he’ll finally see him again when he goes to sleep.

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“How old were you when you first killed someone?”

“Jeezus Tubbo what the hell dude.”  

Tommy swats at his best friend who's laying next to him on the wooden floor. They're all laying on piles and blankets and duvets and tucked up in sleeping bags like campers. Popcorn crumbs litter the floor and Tubbo has kernels stuck in his hair after he used the bowl as protection from Tommy throwing pillows at him.

The group decided to have a sleepover to commemorate Wilbur's birthday, all of them laid in a circle around the couches in wilburs living room and Wilbur almost regrets letting them into his house.

Tommy and Tubbo are layed on the floor, heads close to each other facing opposite directions. Tommy is smiling as he flails his arms at the other boy and has his feet resting in Erets lap. Fundy is on Erets left, curled up in 3 blankets like a burrito, a clear sign of Wilburs handiwork after someone made a joke about fundy being wilburs child.

Wilbur himself is half paying attention to the movie they all put on as background noise as he tries not to look like he’s actually enjoying the night his boys had planned.

Nobody spoke at first, no one was really quite sure what to say. Eventually, Wilbur took a breath and spoke in a slight monotone. “fifteen.”

Even though they may have been concerned, nobody was quite as surprised as maybe they should have been. It was a rough line of work, it wasn't really a shock to anyone that their leader had started so young.

“Robbery gone wrong, cops came earlier than expected. Shot one to save myself, nothing more to it.”

Fundy pokes his head out of his blanket burrito a little more and rests his head on his knees. “Got in a fight back in the Netherlands when I was eighteen, ended badly for the other guy.”

Eret is a bit more hesitant to respond but with a reassuring nudge from Tommy, he gives the teen a small smile and takes a breath. “Got involved with a super serious gang back in England when I was sixteen.”

He doesn't say anything more but nobody really blames him. Eret never really talks about his time back in England much, but the team sees the way he gets nervous around cameras and always makes sure he can never be traced wherever he goes. Everyone is running from something, it's why most of them came to America after all.

Tommy doesn't realize it's his turn until he’s noticed everyone's looking at him.

He laughs and swats at Tubbo for a second time. “It's your question you go first.”

Tubbo looks at his friend strangely but shakes it off and reaches to grab a handful of crisps. “Ummm, technically I haven't.”

Tommy listens to his best friend shove a handful of crisps in his mouth and his throat goes dry, he only distantly hears Fundy ask Tubbo a question but his thoughts seem to drown everyone out. 

He knows he has two options here. He knows that lying is the safest one for him, that he could just follow along with what Tubbo said and just get it over with. But he feels compelled to let the truth just spill out of his mouth and let everything into the world. He can't help it when the words start falling from his lips, he so desperately wants to shove everything back into the box he’s kept everything in for years and go back to the fun loving, annoying Tommy everyone knows.

But instead he just had to open his stupid mouth like he always does.

“I uhh, I killed mum.”

Shit

Shit

Shit

“She uhh, bled out, when I was born.”

Shut up

Shut up

Shut up

“So yeah uhh, I guess I win.”

The room is silent, and he’s brought out of his head by Eret rubbing small comforting circles into the bottom of his leg.

“Tommy.”

He really wishes he hadn't spoke

“You know that couldn't have possibly been your doing.”

Wow the ceiling is really interesting

“Tommy.”

He can't speak. If he speaks he’s going to cry and he can't cry. 

Tommyinnit doesn't cry.

He feels Tubbo moving to wrap and arm around him and he really wants to just not be here.

He’s lying on the floor of his bosses friends house, crying in front of the people he cares about most about because he couldn't keep his fucking mouth shut.

Tommy feels himself moving and slowly more and more arms are around him. He feels a blanket being draped over him and suddenly he finds himself sobbing into someone's chest.

Someone is running their hand through his hair and he wonders if that's something his mother would have done for him.

Sometimes he wishes life was different, that maybe he might have had a better childhood if his mother had been in his life for longer than three seconds.

But as he feels his own tears soak into one of his friends' shirts, he thinks that maybe his life ain't so bad.

And later in the night when he's stood on Wilbur's kitchen counter with Erets glasses hanging off his face singing loudly to random Hamilton songs with his friends, he knows he wouldn't change it for the world.

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Tommy wakes up confused and coughing.

He can feel the water spluttering out of his mouth and he feels like he's throwing up his organs.

He’s vividly aware that something doesn't feel right

He feels wrong and disorientated and,,,

He’s underwater?

Tommy flails his limbs about and in a matter of seconds he surfaces into darkness

He coughs up all of the water that's been sloshing about in his lungs and his throat stings as fresh air floods into his body.

Through all the coughing and the sound of water in his ears, he hears a voice calling him.

“Tommy!”

He turns his head to find Eret also treading water on the other side of a mountain of rubble, he has a large gash on the side of his head that looks like it would have dried by now if not for the water continuously splashing against it. His glasses are nowhere to be seen and Erets looking at him like he knows something Tommy doesn't.

“Tommy thank god you're okay.”

Tommy swims over to where Eret is still floating and takes a moment to examine the rubble surrounding his friend. 

Most of it seems to be concrete and rocks piled up around him, but the two big metal pipes separating him and Eret are what concern him. And the fact that Eret hasn't made an attempt to move past them.

"Where's tubbo?"

"He swam over that direction, tried to find a way out I think."

"Why didn't you follow him."

"Tommy."

"Come on we can't just leave him to look on his own. He'd get lost in a bloody parking lot."

Tommy wraps his hands around one of the pipes and attempts to push it out of the way.

Eret doesn't move.

"Tommy I,"

"Waters rising, gotta move this thing before Tubbo ends up swimming into someone's toilet."

The younger boy changed angles and tried to pull the other pipe towards him.

"Tommy."

He feels Eret place his hand on top of his own but the younger boy swats it away and keeps trying to force the pipes out of the way.

“Come on man, just, just try.”

Eret grabs his hand again.

“Just help me okay!”

Water splashes up Tommys nose and he feels tears pricking at his eyes

“Just, Just do something! Please! please” 

Eret grabs a hold of both of tommys hands and holds him as close as the barrier of rubble will let him.

“Please. I can't lose you too.”

Erets voice is soft and calming. Tommy wants him to laugh and point at him and tell him how this is all just a big joke and they can all go home together and watch movies on Wilburs couch.

But he doesn't

“Hey it's okay, you're not gonna lose me alright. I will always, always be with you, no matter what.”

“Don't give me that bullshit. I don't want you in my heart or looking down on me, I want you to stay here, alive.”

“I want that too Tommy, more than anything. But life doesn't always go the way we want it to.”

Eret coughs and shivers in the water, he looks up and realizes that neither of them have a lot of time left before the water fills the room. They both know Tommy can't stay here any longer, and it's only a matter of time before the coldness of the water gives him hypothermia.

“You need to go.”

“No.”

“Tommy.”

“No I am not leaving you here!”

“You don't have a choice Tommy!”

“Yes I do! Now help me move these goddamn pipes”

“For fuck sake Tommy! I am stuck down here! Those pipes aren't going to move and I'm not leaving this fucking basement. You need to go, now!”

“I-”

“Tommy you are my brother and I will always love you but you need to get the fuck out of here right now.”

“Tommy, Eret!”

“Down here.”

Eret hears Wilbur jump down into the freezing water and he can faintly see him swimming towards him and Tommy.

“You guys okay?”

“Yes now get him out of here.”

“I said no!”

“What about you.”

“I'll be fine just go.”

Wilbur takes a moment, a moment of weakness, a moment of emotion and sadness and he looks at Eret, his friend. He feels the water clog his nostrils and nods, with his heart heavy and his mind full, he drags a tired and freezing Tommy away.

“Wilbur let me go!”

“We can't leave him!”

“we have to help him!”

“Wilbur!”

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Later on when everyone's safe and dry and the adrenaline and panic has left his system, Wilbur finds himself gazing up at his reflection in his bathroom mirror. Every time he looks at himself all he can see is the look in his friends eyes before he left him to drown, he remembers the hurt in his face and his willingness to die just to see Tommy safe. Every time he closes his eyes it's all he sees.

Wilbur stands up tall and strong in front of himself and plasters on the face of a warrior, a face that dream and George and sapnap will forever fear. He vows on this day that he will teach them what true fear feels like, no more kind words or friendly disputes.

He doesn't care about making allies or keeping peace.

His city is in danger

His mind is broken

His friends are traumatized

Eret is dead

And Wilbur wants vengeance.

If dream wants war, he’ll give him war.

[mudhorn-djarin19]

A Helping Hand Chp.1 - Din Djarin x f!reader

I hope you guys like this fic! Was a fun random idea I had spur in my mind one day ;) Rating: Mature Warnings: fluff, nudity, slight smut, eventual smut - shower sex but not lol Masterlist Chapter 2 AO3 link Join my taglist via here! He’s been gone for hours, almost a full day. You knew he’d be gone for awhile cause this sounded like a tough quarry but he’s smart and strong. This felt like longer than it should have been. The child was already fast asleep and tucked away in his pod so you were left to yourself until his return. You decided to go sit and read one of the novels your picked up along the way at a market to help pass the time. Not much time passed when you heard the hull’s door opening and heavy footsteps followed by heavy breathing coming in. The footsteps got closer and you saw Mando shaking, clutching his lower torso, breathing heavily. “Wh-what happened??” You ask as he drops to his knees. “Hurt. Bad. “Please put the quarry into the carbonite for me…” He replies slowly huffing for beath between words. You rush over and drag the quarry over to the carbonite. Hoisting it up into it’s chamber as best as you can, dead bodies aren’t light. Once it’s in the frame you slam your hand down on the button freezing it before rushing back over to Mando.  “Where are you hurt?” You ask, inspecting him “Lower torso.” He replies, removing his hand and leaning against the wall. “Can you help me disinfect and bandage it?” You nodded running to the opposite side and pushing a button to open a small door in the wall that holds all your medical supplies. You grab the bandages, disinfecting supplies and for safety measures the cauterizer  incase the wound is worse than he’s making it out to be. “I need you to remove your armor.” You say. He nods but groans as he goes to move. You can tell he’s sore from whatever fight was put up but also from the injury he sustained. “Do you need help?” You ask, not wanting him to strain himself anymore than need be. “Please…” He sighs. You work at removing his pauldrons, gauntlets, belts and chest piece, laying them beside you in a pile. “Okay, now let me look at this injury” You say as you lift up the bottom hem of his tunic. As you do you notice the injury is definitely worse than he made it out to be. It’s a big gash in his lower abdomen. It’s long, deep and bloody. “Um… Mando. This doesn’t look good. We may need to cauterize it closed…” You frown. Mando groans, not liking the idea but will do whatever you think is best. You first grab the disinfecting spray, shaking it and then spray it over the wound, clearing out any germs so he doesn’t get sick. Mando groans in response as it burns. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. “ You give in response, placing your hand on his forearm which is stretched across his knee. “I-it’s fine. It’s what needs to be done. Continue, please.” He huffs through pain. You next grab the medical rags and start dabbing gently at the wound, clearing any excess blood and spray. Once it’s cleaned up enough you sigh and look up at Mando. “Okay. I’m going to start to cauterize it closed… brace yourself.” He nods in response and you flip the switch to the cauterizer. It hums and starts to warm up. You hate using this thing cause it’s painful but if you want him to stop bleeding, get the wound fully fixed and him to feel better it’s what’s necessary. You sigh and bring the little machine down to his torso, slowly bringing it closer until it starts to zap the wound shut, leaving a scar in its tracks. Mando shakes and groans in pain as you do so, this wound it bigger than the ones he’s had in the past so it takes longer but you try to get it over with as quick as possible. Once you fully cauterize it closed you grab some ointment from the pile , rubbing it gently over the new scar to soothe the pain and make it heal easier, placing a bandage on top to keep it sealed off for a bit. “Okay. All done.” You say patting Mando’s arm gently.” “Th-thank you…” He replied “What happened that you got that?” You ask, scared of the answer. “Long story. But in short, there was more people there than expected and one caught me off guard, getting a good lunge at my side, as you saw.” “Oh... I’m sorry. Well, I am glad you got your quarry still and more importantly made it back safely so I could fix you up.” You say. He nods and starts to speak before stopping. “Um…” “Hm?” “I need to shower… get the dirt off me as well as any blood elsewhere from any knicks…” He trails off again. “Okay. Here let me help you up and I’ll get it started for you.” You reach your hands down to help pull him up. His hands grab onto yours and he plants his feet to help push himself up some so you aren’t stuck pulling all his bulky muscular weight. However, as you help pull him up he groans in response terrible and nearly collapses back down on your before catching himself. “What’s wrong?” You ask concerned. “It hurts… to move. Move anything. I... “ He sighs. “Maker, I hate to ask this cause I don’t want to put you into an awkward position but… do you think you could help me shower?” Your cheeks immediately go flush. Help Mando shower? You mean… see him… naked? Sure you most definitely won’t see his face but mostly everything else if not actually everything else? Maker, you suddenly feel hot. You know he can probably see the red spreading across your face, there’s no hiding it. “U-um…” You start to say unsure how to answer. “S-sure...” You finally say. He throws an arm around your shoulder to help balance himself before rotating himself to be side by side with you. You wrap one arm around his back to help support him and grab his hand over your shoulder with the other before you both start slowly walking over to the fresher room. You push the button to open it up and flip the switch on before helping Mando sit down on the closed toilet. “D-do you need help undressing or can you do it?” You ask shyly. Mando works at pulling his arms out of his tunic but groans in pain as he works to pull it over his head. Helmet in the way. “Shut your eyes quick.” He says You nod and do so. You hear the helmet clink as he sets it down on the sink, not long after hearing fabric rustle. He groans. “I… It hurts to lift my arms over my head. Help me pull this off.” You take a step closer to him, trying not to trip in your temporary blindness and reach your hands out until you feel his, you grab next to where they are placed. He removes his and let’s you do the rest. As you pull the tunic over his head you feel soft shaggy locks brush your fingers. Oh maker, his hair is so soft you think to yourself. You step back then to give him space, keeping your eyes shut. “You can open your eyes again.” He speaks. You open your eyes back up and see him still sitting where he was, helmet back on but not shirtless. You knew he had to be built but seeing him before you, you were in awe. He was strong looking and toned. His skin tanned and so soft looking minus a few scars scattering his body. You feel your cheeks getting flushed again at the sight of him before you quickly look down. “Do you need help removing your boots and pants as well?” You ask. “I’ll need help to get my boots off, it hurts to bend over.” He replies. You nod, crouching down working at undoing the leather pieces and armor on his legs before pulling his boots off. You look up at him waiting for his next move. You swear as he pulls his pants down and pushes them off with his feet he is making eye contact with you until you look away. He stands up, now in nothing but his underwear, grasping the sink for support. “Can you help me get to the shower?” He asks “Um sure… but…” You start to say. “I know. I… I’ll get there.” You nod in response and let him use your shoulder again for support as you trudge him over to the shower, opening the door and letting him step in. “Umm… If I am to help you shower I’ll need to get in there with you. But I don’t want to get all my clothes wet.” He looks at you not saying at word, waiting for you to either do as you said or continue your sentence. “B-but, I’m only going to remove my top and bottoms. Not my undergarments.” You chuckle nervously, waving your hands frantically. “Okay.” He says as you start to do so and then step in behind him shutting the door. He’s quiet, back towards you as he sighs deeply before working to pull down his underwear, tossing them to the corner. They’ll get soaked there but you don’t think he cares right now. You try to advert your eyes but can’t help to glance down and stare at his perfectly firm and round ass. Thank the maker his back is to you right now cause you know you are burning hot red right now. “I’ll turn on the water now okay. I know your helmet is okay to get wet but… don’t you need to wash your face?” You ask. “Yes. We’ll do that last. I have it figure out.” He says Once you have confirmation your turn the handle to the shower and water starts pouring down. It’s cold at first which makes you both jump but it quickly warms up. His back is still turned to you and he has his forearms propped up against the wall, bracing himself as best as he can. “I’m going to wash your back now okay?” You say as you lather the loofa up with soap. He steps away from the wall a bit and balances himself. You step up closer to him and place one hand on his left shoulder blade as you lather his back up with soap. He’s so warm feeling and man you can feel just how toned he is from this minor touch. You lather up his back from his shoulder blades to his lower back, stopping right at his butt. “Umm..” “Hm? What’s wrong?” He asks.“I need to wash…” You start to say. “You don’t need to say everything you are going to wash before you do it. Just do it. I understand. I am the one who asked you to help me do this after all.” He replies. “Right.” You say as you gulp and start to work the loofa down to his butt, crouching then to scrub the back of his legs as well. Maker, never would you think you’d be in this position but here you are… Mando’s perfect looking ass right in your face. Just when you think you get the red flush from your face to leave it comes right back. Once finished there you work your way back up to his shoulder blades, he towers over you so you have to stand on your tippy toes. You try not to bump into him but to get a good reach you have to lean into him slightly. You feel him tense up a bit as you press your chest to the middle of his back. “S-sorry.” You say, worry in your voice. “It’s okay. I’m not bothered.” He says. You tilt the shower head a bit to rinse off the soap lather from his back. “Okay. Your backside is done. Can you turn around so I can do your front?” You ask. Without a word he slowly turns himself around and places a hand on your shoulder to brace himself. You resoap up the loofa and start scrubbing at his chest, as you do so you go over each scar that scatter about. He has a good bit, most are small compared to the one he got today but still it makes you ache in your heart that he has so many. You finish scrubbing his chest and work on doing his arms, avoiding his lower front. You know you have to help him clean there but maker the thought it gets you all sort of flustered feeling. “D-do you want to wash… or?” “Um. C-can you? That is… if you’re comfortable. Sorry. I don’t want to move anymore than I need to. Pain…” He says stuttering over his words. “O-okay.” You say before looking down and seeing that he’s hard. O-oh. When did… Why is he… Thoughts start racing through your mind as your cheeks turn red again for the millionth time this evening. You slowly move you hand to start gently scrubbing but not long after you feel his arm wrap around your waist and pull you close into his chest. He’s hunched over a bit and breathing heavily into your neck. “M-mando…?” You ask. “S-sorry… I… Sorry.” He breathes, letting go of you. “I um… maybe let’s wash my face right now instead. I’m going to flip the light off.” He nods his head to the light pull above his head. “When I give you the go ahead, pull my helmet off for me?” “Um… okay.” You reply. He turns the light off and gives you the go ahead, groaning as he crouches down to sit on his knees so you can reach his face better. You grab the bottom of his and slowly pull it off before placing it down in the corner. Washing his hair and face in the dark is going to be hard. You don’t want to get soap in his mouth or eyes or accidentally poke your finger into his eyes. You grab the shampoo and squirt a drop into your hand before running it through his hair. Like you noticed before it’s soft and shaggy. You wonder what color it is. After you lather his hair up good with shampoo, you let it sit for a bit and gently wash his face with soap carefully but also take the time to notice his features. You can feel how he has a strong jaw and some scruff. You weren’t expecting him to have facial hair at all so it took you by surprise at first. Once he is all soaped up you grab the shower head from it’s hook and bring it down to rinse him off. You help him stand back up and go to grab his helmet back for him before he grabs you arm, pulling you back into him. “Huh? Mando… why did you grab me? I was trying to retrieve your helmet for you.” You say He has his head resting in the crook of your neck, breathing heavily again and his arm wrapped around your waist. You feel him hard against your backside and you gulp. “M-mando…?” You ask again. He stays silent for a few seconds, still holding you close before letting you go finally and taking a small step back. “I-I’m sorry. I didn’t mean… to do that…” He says, breathing still a bit heavy. “It’s okay but…” You reach down and grab his helmet, turning to face him then and place it in his hands. “Why?” You ask then. He takes the helmet from your hands and places hit back on his head, pulling the light back on. “Um.. “ He starts to say as  he stands before you, leaning back against the wall, holding his wound from today. You turn the water off and stand before him, waiting for him to answer. “I’m sorry… I guess even through my pain. I got lost in the moment…let my feelings get the best of me” He says. “Feelings get the best of you?” You question. He nods. “Yes. Um… I’m not sure if you’ve noticed but I’ve become quite fond of you…” “F-fond of me?” You blink. “Mhm. I-I'm sorry. I didn't want to make you feel uncomfortable so I tried to hide it but…” He sighs. “Maybe this helping me shower wasn't a smart idea…” He looks down. You lift his helmeted head back up. “No no… it's okay! Um… I've actually grown quite fond of you too…” You smile up at him. “R-really?” He asks. You nod and continue to smile. “I-I'd like to be more intimate with you. As you saw... but.” He sighs and winces a bit. “Maybe now is not the best time… um that is if you also want to be…” You place a hand on his chest and look into his eyes, or at least where you think they are with the helmet in. “I'd like that too. But yes, now is not the best time. You need to rest and let your wound heal for now.” You say as you plant a small kiss on his helmets side. He stiffens up a bit at the response, not expecting that. Which stirs a giggle from you in response. “Let me step out and get you a towel to dry off. I'll get you fresh clothes then and help you to your bunker. ” He nods and waits as you step out to grab a towel off the wall, returning back to help him step out to stand in front of the door before you work at drying him off, wrapping the towel around his waist then. “Come on. Let's get you to the bunker.” You say as you hook your arm into his helping him trudge himself across the hill to the tiny space he calls his bunker. Not much of a sleeping space but he makes do with it. Once you get him to the bed you have him sit so he's not straining himself anymore than need be as you retrieve him a fresh pair of pants and tunic. You help him step into the pants but he denies the tunic .“I'll be okay without but, thank you.” He says. You nod and set it back in its drawer. “I’ll let you rest now okay? You need it.” “Wait…” He starts. “Hm?” You look at him “I know the bunker bed isn't very big but… stay with me? Tonight?” He says grabbing your hand in his. “Y-you want me to stay and sleep with you tonight?” You question. He nods, lightly tugging you closer to him, making you step closer to stand between his knees.“Please?” He asks, rubbing a thumb on your skin. “Of course.” You say. “Let me go change quick and I'll be back.” He nods, letting you go to change while he lays back and get situated in. You return and work your way into the small space without accidentally hurting him and settle yourself in next to him. He wraps an arm around you, pulling you closer to his chest, before pushing the button to the door and light with his free hand. You sigh against his skin, he's so warm and comfortable. Maker, you've wanted to be like this with him for so long and now it's finally happening. As you are running through your happy thoughts you feel a pair of lips press a kiss against you forehead. He took his helmet off again? You smile, surprised he has removed it so much in front of you within such a small time frame. You may not see his face but still the gesture and thought warms you inside. “Once I am fully healed and not in pain I’d love to redo tonight with you.” He states, kissing your nose now. “Again, if you'd like.” You reach your hands up to cup his face. “Yes, of course I would.” You smile before kissing him on the lips. He smiles back, pressing a kiss back to your lips. “Then it’s settled.” 

[ais-for-alex]

The Scars of Our Past: Chapter 26

Logan was avoiding mirrors, the moment his eyes caught sight of his own image in the reflective surface he forced himself to look away almost instantly. He couldn’t stand to see the gash just over his eyebrow, still held together by a steri strip, the skin around it purple and blue with mottled bruises. He couldn’t stand to look at it, because each time his eyes caught hold of the physical reminder of that game Logan found himself snapped back onto the ice. Back to that moment he glanced up through bloody fingers to see his normally even-tempered best friend filled with a white-hot rage, beating another man down onto the ice. Logan would see that horrible look in his eyes, the look that if someone hadn’t pulled him off of Carrow, Finn would have continued hitting him until his hands bled.

Almost worse than that though, was the memory of their conversation afterward, in the locker room. Logan could hear Finn’s words, playing over and over, like the needle of a turntable getting stuck creating a fucked-up loop of his voice.

You’re a fucking coward. You’re a fucking coward.

The hardest part was that Logan knew Finn was right, he is a coward. He had been running away from his feelings for his best so long, now it was all he knew how to do. Sadly though, it seemed that while Logan was too busy running with his tail between his legs, he had finally pushed Finn to his breaking point.

In all the years he had known him, Logan couldn’t remember a single time he had actually raised his voice to him, despite all of the shit they had been through together. The sound of hurt in Finn’s voice as he begged Logan to just tell him, was a sound he wouldn’t be forgetting anytime soon.

Coward.

I know.

It felt weird now, sitting in the locker room. The rest of the team seemed completely unfazed, they moved and joked as if Logan and Finn hadn’t flung themselves over the jagged edge of a cliff and were now tumbling through the endless sky. Just waiting to see if there were rocks at the bottom of the fall waiting to break their bodies on impact. In their defense though, the team didn’t know any of that, however, Logan still felt like their cheer was out of place.

Finn hadn’t been there when Logan got in that morning but even without the man himself there, he was avoiding Finn’s stall like the plague. Logan had zero desire to step back into that space, back into those memories so he kept his eyes firmly trained on the floor. He made quick work of getting his skates and pads on, so quick he ended up being the first player out on the ice for practice.

Beginning his warm ups Logan took in a deep breath, held it for a moment, then when he breathed out, he pushed away every thought in his head. He let the scrape of his skates on the ice drown out the memory of Finn’s voice, he let the smooth glide of the puck against his stick ground him in the moment, he let his mind focus on Kasey getting the puck past his sharp eyes into the back of the net. Over and over those were the only things Logan let his mind focus on, scrape, slide, shoot, that was it. He breathed a sigh of relief when he finally heard Coach’s whistle signaling the end of practice and he joined the throng of his teammates shuffling off the ice.

Logan savored the feeling of hot water coursing over his body, the feeling of it rinsing away the sweat that clung to his skin, he closed his eyes and let the spray wash over his face.

“Dude! Drop it,” Finn’s voice echoed through the shower as he wandered into the showers.

“Oh, come on Don Juan, tell us about her!” James said teasingly.

Her, Logan’s eyes opened, the water stung but he didn’t care, her?

“So what? She sees your fight on the ice and suddenly you’re just irresistible?” Logan turned to find James ruffling Finn’s hair.

“Pfft, I’m always irresistible,” Finn laughed and gestured to his naked body, “unlike some of us,” he said, giving James a bit of a shove before turning on the shower head and stepping into the steaming water.

“Ok first off rude,” James said indignantly as he turned on his own shower, “and second I’m not letting this go until you tell me something, hair color, eye color, was she at the game? She’s not a snake’s fan, is she? Ugh,” James shivered in disgust.

“Seriously?” Finn scoffed, turning his head to shoot an exasperated huff. When he did though Logan’s eyes zeroed in on the dark red bruise over his pulse point, distantly it clicked in his mind that this was probably what had prompted James’s probing but in that moment he didn’t care. Logan felt sick, the thought of Finn going out and finding just some random girl after their fight made his skin crawl.

“Please! I live vicariously through other people!” James shouted.

“Fine, blond. You happy?” Finn asked with a shake of his head.

“No, but I’ll accept that’s the only information you’re gonna give me.”

Logan was done, he didn’t want to hear another word, didn’t want to think about Finn and her whoever she was. He quickly shut off the shower, snagged his towel, and hastily moved towards the exit. Out of the corner of his eye though he noticed Finn glance up at him just as Logan slipped through the door back into the main area of the locker room.

He moved mechanically, it felt like his hands had flipped into autopilot as he pulled his clothes on over damp skin, darkening the fabric of his shirt as his hair dripped onto his shoulders until Logan roughly shoved a snapback on his head. Logan grabbed his things at random and chucked them into his bag hoping to make a quick escape, but just as he was zipping it up Logan felt a warm hand settle on his shoulder. Every muscle in his body tensed then melted as a shiver ran down his spine as the soft brush of Finn’s thumb against his neck, Logan couldn’t help the sigh that fell from his lips.

“Hey,” Finn whispered in a hushed voice, “it’s not what you think.”

It felt like his heart was breaking but Logan shoved the feeling aside and shrugged out from under Finn's touch.

“It's fine Harz, you don’t have to explain yourself to me. If you want to go out and screw around with random girls, it’s your right to do so. Not my place to have an opinion.”

“Lo…” Finn’s voice was sad and soft.

“I’m- I’m going home,” Logan said, slinging his bag onto his shoulder, the strap digging into the place Finn’s hand had just been.

“Give me a minute to get dressed and I can drive you,” Finn replied. Logan’s heart shattered even further at that, the small selfless offer, because this man; even when he was mad and hurt he just couldn’t seem to stop himself from caring for the people in his life.

“No,” Logan said firmly, “it's fine, go finish your shower. I’ll see you tomorrow.” With that Logan stepped away, leaving Finn behind standing in front of his stall as fled the ice rink out into the blistering cold winter air.

***

Logan pretended not to notice the slight tremble in his fingers as he slid his phone from his pocket and typed in the pin number. He pretended that the cold afternoon air wasn’t burning his lungs as he made his way down the sidewalk heading home. And he pretended the reason his heart was beating out of his chest was just lingering adrenaline from practice rather than the roiling jealousy in his stomach. Logan pretended he wasn’t turning green with envy over some faceless, nameless woman who got to so carelessly touch Finn the way his fingers had itched to touch him for years. He pretended that the blood running through his veins wasn’t spiked with bitterness, that it was her lips that sucked wine colored marks into the warm skin of Finn's throat rather than his own.

Shakily, Logan pulled up his contacts and scrolled past Finn’s and easily found the number he was looking for, the call rang loud in his ear for a moment before finally connecting.

“Hey,” Leo greeted, his voice filtering through the phone, his breathing was loud like he was panting heavily.

Logan wasn’t entirely sure why he had called Leo, all he knew was that he was sad, and jealous, and hurt, and the one person he would normally turn to for comfort was firmly off the table considering he had just walked away from him. All he knew was that Leo made him happy, and Logan desperately wanted to feel happy right now.

“Hey,” he said softly, “whatcha doing?”

“At the gym,” Leo huffed, “running- grabbed the call- on my- headphones,” his words were interrupted by sharp breaths.

“Oh, um- sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt your work out.”

“S’ok, I’m- almost- done,” there was a faint beeping on Leo’s end of the call as he turned down the speed on his treadmill, he was still panting but his breaths seemed to start coming easier. “So, what’s up?” Leo asked when he was breathing a bit more evenly.

“Ah, not much. Just left the rink and I-“ Logan paused, he wasn’t sure how he wanted to finish that sentence. He what? Ran away like the coward he is? He wanted to be comforted by the man that made his insides squirm just to think about over another man?

“Lo? Are you ok?” Leo asked, voice soft and filled with concern when Logan’s pause stretched a bit too long.

“I- yeah, I’m- I’ll be fine, it’s nothing,” Logan shook his head as if he could shake loose the thoughts in his mind.

“Alright, if you say so,” Leo said, accepting the answer but Logan could hear it in his voice that he didn’t entirely believe it was nothing. “Hey! What are you doing in like an hour?”

“Um, nothing?” Logan answered a bit thrown off by Leo’s sudden question, “Why?”

“If you want some company, I can come over? We can hang out, if you want?”

Logan felt something tight in his chest break loose at Leo’s offer, “yeah?” he asked hopefully.

“Yeah,” Logan could practically hear the smile in Logan's voice, “It’ll be fun.”

“I guess I’ll see you soon then,” Logan said softly, a smile beginning to pull at his lips.

“I’ll see you soon.”

When the call ended Logan sighed and slipped his phone back into his pocket, he glanced up when a car honked near him only to find Dumo’s car pulling up next to him.

“Why the fuck are you out here walking?” Dumo asked through his open window as the vehicle rolled to a stop.

“Ne posez pas de questions stupides, vieil homme. Laissez-moi entrer,” Logan huffed, trudging over to the passenger door.

Logan rolled his eyes at Dumo’s chortled laugh as he popped the lock to let him into the car.

French translation: Don't ask stupid questions, old man. Let me in!

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Chapter 25 Chapter 26

[writing-is-hard-af]

Random Andreil One-Shot I wrote last night and attempted to edit this afternoon.

Basically, Neil has a nightmare. Mentions (or more descriptions I guess) of blood, injury, and torture. Pretty much just angst!

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Rain poured down from the sky in sheets, soaking Neil to the bone as he stood in an alley behind a gas station in Seattle. His clothes stuck to him like a second skin, his dyed blond hair plastered to his forehead, all curls flattened, water dripped from his fingertips, the bridge of his nose, and his chin. Shivers ran up his back as rain drops rolled down his spine and everything hurt, except he couldn’t focus on that, he didn’t have the time, not when he was surrounded by the unconscious, possibly dead, bodies of five of his father’s men, not when his father himself was nearby, was wherever his mother was, with an axe and possibly a gun. Distantly he could hear yelling, but the sound of the rain was too loud and overpowering for him to be able to tell who was yelling and what they were saying. He blinked rapidly, trying to see properly, but rain continued to run into his eyes, blurring his vision, making it impossible to see if his father was visible.

Neil hadn’t seen his father in person for nearly a year, since he’d found them in Göttingen, the only people that had caught up with them were his minions like Lola, who wasn’t anywhere in sight. Of course that didn’t technically mean anything, she could be lurking up on the roof or in a dark corner just waiting for Neil to let his guard down for one second so she could strike and slice him into ribbons. Another shudder went through Neil, his shoulder throbbing painfully in response. Someone must have managed to get a good hold on it at some point during the fight that had taken place and yanked it out of its socket, or at least almost out. Either way, he could deal with that later, he needed to find his mom, needed to make sure they both got out of this alive.

Pushing himself off the wall he had momentarily allowed himself to lean against, Neil nearly slipped on the slick ground. Water was puddled everywhere, running like small streams in the cracks in the pavement, red blood mixing with the water and swirling around like small pieces of thread. Neil’s side screamed in protest, the shift in his stance pulling at the deep gash he had from a knife that he’d only narrowly avoided being stabbed by, and his legs wobbled beneath him, blood slowly trickling down his left thigh from a shallow knife wound there. Ignore the pain, you’re fine, Neil snapped at himself and moved to follow after where he was sure he’d seen her disappear to.

Before he could even start walking however, Mary suddenly burst around the corner, running towards him. She grabbed hold of his arm, not even pausing in her sprint, and yanked him along after her. Her fingers dug into his arm, bruisingly tight, nails cutting into his skin. His arm felt like it was being yanked out of its socket all over again, fire spreading through his nerves across his shoulder blade and collar bone. He stumbled a few steps before managing to get a grip on himself again, speeding up so that he was running beside her instead of behind her.

They raced through back alleyways, unfamiliar by name yet nothing unusual about their appearance, turning corners seemingly at random until they burst out into a parking lot outside of a shopping mall. Brightly colored store signs glowed against the stone building, the only thing keeping the lot from being pitch black. Despite the late hour, dozens of cars were lined up in the lot, colors smudged together by the rain running into Neil’s eyes. His mother didn’t stop running when they came out of the alley, simply dragged him towards the nearest car--a dark grey truck of some sort, the brand ineligible with all the water and the lack of decent light.

It took her barely ten seconds to pick the lock on the driver’s door and she shoved Neil inside without any attempt at being gentle. The fall onto the leather seat sent a bolt of pain through his arm, and he just barely managed to not smash his face in the seat. Neil held back a flinch and quickly adjusted the way he was seated so that he was facing the wheel, trying to ignore the burning in his shoulder, the pain in his side, the blood soaked through his pant leg.

Suddenly, between one blink of an eye and the next, he was out on the street, rain still pounding down against the glass, but the tall business buildings of Seattle nowhere in sight. He was racing across a bridge of sorts over the highway leading out of the city, and out of the corner of his eyes he could see his mother curled up in the passenger seat, one hand pressed firmly to her abdomen, where her shirt was stained a dark, terrifying red. She was trembling slightly, though Neil doubted that had to do with cold and more to do with shock and blood loss from a wound he couldn’t see.

“Faster!” she hissed and he quickly turned his eyes back to the road, pressing down on the gas pedal a bit more, definitely going above the speed limit. His focus dwindled, grew all messed up, and things blurred together, something that could very well have been blamed on the rain, except instead of staying blurred everything dissolved around him, like his surroundings were made of dandelion fuzz being swept away from the stem by the wind.

Suddenly Neil was on his knees, sand surrounding him, hands buried in it, the smell of gasoline burning in his nose, smoke entering into his lungs with every breath he took and causing rough, dry coughs to escape him, eyes narrowed to slits to avoid them drying out from the heat of the fire that blazed in the tan car just fifteen meters from him. His whole body still hurt, no new injuries added to the few he gained in Seattle but not having dealt with those in the first place, and his head swam with dehydration and exhaustion. Some part of Neil’s mind supplied the information that his mother hadn’t let them stop once besides to switch cars three times until they were at least two states away from Seattle, but it was less something he remembered and more something he just knew.

Suddenly something around him shifted again, more a violent tug than everything dissolving like the previous time, and the ground beneath him turned from sand to cold, smooth cement, covered in old stains of dark rustic brown, obviously blood spilt at least a few months previously. Neil’s breath caught in his throat at the familiar floor, and his gaze snapped up to look around the basement of his childhood home. Immediately his eyes landed on the two people in the center, just a few feet from Neil, one sitting on top of the other. The one on the floor had striking golden blond hair, curled familiarly at his ears, except instead of it being pure gold it was spattered with red, slick with it in places. Neil’s father sat on top of Andrew instead of on top of Neil like he’s supposed to, a manic glint in his ice blue eyes that were so achingly similar to Neil’s as he traced a silver knife across his face, leaving gashes on all his prominent features.

Andrew’s blood covered the floor like paint, puddled like the rain in Seattle, and there was too much of it, way too much of it, and even though Neil knew subconsciously that this wasn’t real, a scream built up in his throat, ripping itself out of him.

“Stop! Please, stop, hurt me instead, please!” Nathan looked up at Neil, his knife stopping in the middle of one of its already drawn lines, and a cold smirk settled on his face. Neil’s breath caught again and his gaze drifted from his father’s back to Andrew, Andrew who was too still, Andrew who was too pale, Andrew whose hazel eyes were glassy and empty, Andrew who was covered in blood. A sob ripped its way out of Neil’s throat, murmuring Andrew’s name over and over again as his mind screamed your fault, your fault, all your fault.

He barely even realized it when he was shoved onto his back by a pointed leather boot and his father kneeled over him, knife and cleaver carving Neil into pieces as they had done years before. No pleas escaped his lips as felt himself be torn apart at the seams, he didn’t beg for Nathan to stop because he deserved it and there wasn’t a point anymore anyway, nothing mattered. Andrew was gone and it was all Neil’s fault and-

“Neil,” a voice, a familiar, calming voice, one that should be dead and silent if the body on the ground was real, whispered distantly, repeating the name one, two, three times before quickly switching to a different name. “Abram!”

All Neil could do was stare at the dead body in the middle of the room, not caring that he was in pain, just wanting Andrew back. The knife retraced his past scars, opening them again and spilling blood onto the floor, spreading around him in a pool of scarlet red. The cleaver cut into his throat and legs, gouging into him, tearing his skin and muscles apart. Whimpers escaped him, involuntary tears slipped down the sides of his face into his bloodsoaked hair.

“Wake up, Abram!” the voice grew louder, no longer distant, no longer just in his head. “Wake up!”

Neil‘s eyes shot open and he inhaled a sharp and unsteady breath, nearly choking on it. His gaze darted around the dorm room for a brief, panicked second before landing on Andrew, who was sitting on Neil’s bed just barely a foot away, looking at him. His eyebrows were scrunched ever so slightly together, lips pressed together a little firmer than usual, hands clenched tightly in the plain white bed sheets at his sides. Neil felt a rush of relief at the sight of him alive, okay, and breathing, and a sob built up in his throat for the first time in years.

He sat up so quickly that he nearly banged his forehead into the bottom of the top bunk, and he turned away from Andrew, leaning his elbows against his knees and pressing his hands to his face. Tears welled up in his eyes but Neil forced them back like he had the sob. It was fake, most of it, and that which wasn’t happened over four years ago, he should be over it. He was fine. He couldn’t be any-

Suddenly Andrew was in front of him, looking up at him from where he had kneeled down on the floor right in front of him. “Neil?” he said in a softer voice than usual, but Neil didn‘t know what to say, his thoughts were too jumbled and confusing and - ”Yes or no?” Andrew’s voice was quiet as he said that and Neil finally glanced up at him, trembling way more than he liked or was now used to, tears stinging his eyes as he tried to shake the images of blood and water and fire from his mind. All he managed was a small nod and Andrew placed his hand on the back of his neck like he always did when Neil was falling down into the darkness. He pulled him down far enough to lean their foreheads together, gaze intently boring into Neil’s eyes.

“You are Neil Josten, you’re at Palmetto with me and the foxes, you’re safe, your father is dead,” Andrew said, repeating softly what he said every time Neil got panicked, and slowly Neil began to calm down as the familiar words washed over him. A bit of the tension bled out of his shoulders and his breathing evened out again, the tears disappearing from his eyes. They stayed that way for a few moments, leaning their foreheads together as Neil calmed down, before Andrew stood up. He offered him his hand, a silent invitation that he didn’t need to accept.

They both knew they wouldn’t be able to sleep anymore that night, they never could after nightmares, no matter how bad or who had them, and Neil let Andrew guide him into the kitchen, where he slumped down against the counter. His gaze tiredly followed Andrew as he poured coffee grounds into the machine along with water from the sink, not bothering to measure how much he put in before he turned it on and then went to grab two mugs from the lowest shelf in the cabinet, where they kept them because reaching anything above that was a bit of a challenge. Relief continued to course through Neil as he watched Andrew move around the kitchen, finally managing to fully convince himself the dream was fake--Andrew was alive, Nathan had never laid a hand on him.

The coffee machine beeped and Andrew swiftly filled both of the mugs he had grabbed, adding an abundance of milk and sugar to his own while he left Neil’s as it was. He set the mugs down on the kitchen island and pulled one of the tall wooden chairs they had there out, sitting down while Neil remained standing, knowing he wouldn’t be able to sit still if he sat down himself, wouldn’t be able to relax. Andrew didn’t say anything, just watched him as he pulled the coffee mug closer to himself, hands wrapping around it, letting the warmth chase away the rest of the chill he still felt from the rain in his dream. They never asked each other what their dreams were about, just let the other person talk if they needed or wanted to.

“At first it was my mom…” Neil said softly after a long moment, keeping his gaze on the dark contents of his mug. Even without looking up he knew that Andrew had a slight disapproving look on his face, the look he got whenever the topic of Neil’s mother came up, no matter the context. “But… it switched and-” he broke off, something he wasn’t quite used to, “and then I was back in Baltimore, except… except he had you instead of me and-”

Andrew put his mug down and moved closer to Neil, turning his head towards him in an almost gentle way. “I’m not going anywhere,” he said softly and Neil stared at him, the last remnants of fear and tension from the dreams finally dissipating.