#or just bring back one gimmick and stick with it but I doubt they will

[adobe-outdesign]

for Scarlet and Violet’s gimmick, I would like to propose something called hattenizing. When used in battle, Pokemon gain a special “hattenized” form which is just their regular form but with a sick hat to wear. this changes absolutely nothing and is wholly pointless. I will not be taking questions

[reversemoon255]

Mashin Sentai Kiramager

I’ve always had the opinion that the best formula for a successful Sentai is to either lean heavily into the comedy or the drama. If your cast of characters is typically serious, when they encounter a humorous situation it’s all the funnier, and when you have a comedic cast and they encounter a dramatic situation it feels all the more dire. Now, this is certainly impacted by the acting, script, etc., but if you look back at some of the better seasons (Shinkenger, Go-Busters, ToQger), you’ll see that a lot of them have that type of lean. And Kiramager has the later feel, standing out as a good season with few low points; ultimately sitting in the upper half of the show’s history.

The Good: One of the big things I talked about when I went over Ryusoulger was the episodic nature of the writing. It felt like it was made to be inviting to first-time watchers for the majority of its run, regardless of their jumping-on point. Self-contained episodes, very few ongoing plot threads, and very trope heavy for the sake of introducing a new audience to the show’s basic concepts and themes. And while I like what Ryusoulger was trying to do, I feel that Kiramager takes those concepts and improves upon them.

While the majority of the episodes were still self-contained, the episodes in Ryusoulger were very focused on fighting enemies, the stresses and one-off characters, and very light development of the main characters with primary focus on Red and Gold. In Kiramager there is much more focus on the main cast, with almost every episode being used to develop a Ranger or their relationships between each other, with the lack there of being one of my biggest complaints with the last season. It also feels like there are more multi-parters and micro-plots throughout the show, which rewards me as a viewer for continuously watching the show, and we don’t get when things are more segmented.

Another of my big issues with Ryusoulger was how heavily it focused on their Red and Gold Rangers. They nixed that out the gate with this show, having a zeroth episode the focused on everyone except Red. And Jyuru was a good Red. Definitely a lot goofier than most, but had a strong personality, was willing to work with and defer to the rest of his team when he needed to, and developed a lot of confidence throughout the season. Tametomo was a lot of fun, too. He was the straight man to everyone else’s silly behavior, but could also pull off a strong gag by himself. He was also very intelligent and a great tactician. Sena was probably the weakest of the main cast, but that was only because her character was more one-note than the others. Upbeat and outgoing at all times, there were very few times where we saw a darker side to her, but those moments were handled well and displayed a depth to her character we could have used more of. And while she isn’t our first female Green, she is our first on a five-man team, and I enjoy seeing them swapping out the usual colors like that. Shiguru started the show as the most serious of the team, but quickly revealed himself to be a lovable goof. The juxtaposition between him trying to act cool and caving into his baser natures was very funny and made for an entertaining character. Sayo was skilled, determined, intelligent, but could also be air-headed. I would describe her as a Yellow Precure turned Pink Ranger, if that makes sense. She usually filled the role an episode demanded of her, but it never felt out of place for her. Takamichi was a decent character, but in a season of funny people, he was the least so. His habit of adding “Wonder” to everything was meh, but he certainly pulled through in the serious moments. I’m a little sad Mabushina’s development didn’t end with her also becoming a Ranger, but she was a good secondary. She could easily hold an episode on her own, and her voice and suit actresses both managed to do a great job of bringing a literal stone-faced character to life.

And then there’s the villains, who did a good job of being just as entertaining and in some cases be as deep as the main cast. Just about everyone was a pretty simple, but fun character that didn’t get too complex until near the end of the story when the core audience would be established. I have mixed feelings about this, as nothing felt too out of place, but it would have been nice to get some build up to this earlier in the story. Kurantula was the team monster maker, and was childish and over-the-top. Whenever he decided to go down and do the dirty work himself, they were usually his crazier schemes. Near the end of the show he expressed the desire to create because he enjoyed it, which put him at odds against his boss and aligned himself with the heroes for survival. Yadonna was a nice mid-addition, shaking up the established dynamic Kurantula and Garuza had. She was so over-the-top evil without being a monster that it was hilarious to watch. I’m a little sad at her ultimate fate, as I would have liked to have seen a turnaround after she was betrayed by Emperor Yodon; have her turn sides, maybe actually get some payoff for that crush Tametomo had. (Eh, there’s always the V-Cinema.) Garuza was the stick-in-the-mud that made everyone else get serious, but could still occasionally crack a joke. He was a great antagonist, and while I like that he turned around at the end, it really needed more buildup. Still, the fact that I wanted all the bad guys to turn face is a testament to how likable they were.

The Bad: I’ve already gone over a few of my problems, but let’s go over them in more detail. Characters have a tendency to be a little one note, like with Sena or Takamichi. Episodes where they explore the depth to those characters are good, but the standard episode has them basically the same character throughout.

And as I mentioned, the big developments for the villains were heavily regulated to the last few episodes. Kurantula didn’t have any signs of being in a slump until the last 5 or 6 episodes, and Garuza turning good isn’t brought up until the 3rd-to-last, and is a bit of a cop out. “Oh, I was brainwashed.” If that had been hinted at at all it wouldn’t be a problem, but I don’t recall any signs of it before episode 43.

Now, these aren’t terrible things, they just could have been done better. It’s part of the downside to the writing style they’ve been pushing to improve ratings. It’s definitely a step forward from Ryusoulger, and they addressed a lot of the issues I had with that season, but they haven’t quite found a pace balance that works for that style and for both new and old fans. If they try this style again with Zenkaiger, hopefully we’ll see some improvements on the formula, but at the same time, since it’s an anniversary season, I’d like if they had a more dynamic and connected story.

Won’t lie, climax was also a little meh.

Overall, Kiramager is definitely a great first Sentai, and a fun one for older fans if you like the more humorous seasons. It has good characters, good (but evil) villains, and silly plots. I really had to think hard about what I didn’t like about the show, and I doubt you’ll notice any of it while you’re watching.

And, as always, if you didn’t pick up any of the toys this year, here are my recommendations if you want to start collecting post-show: Kiramajin (fun toy, fun gimmick), 1 OR 2 copies of Express King (giant T-Rex AND a robot mode), and Zabyuun (adds a lot of play to Express King as well as Kiramajin). I like the toys from this season a lot, but a lot of them are weapons, Gigant Driller is a little disappointing, and Grateful Phoenix is cool but passable. Only go for him if you like what you already have.

[flying-nightwing]

Pink and Totalitarianism Always Go Hand in Hand

Here’s the promised crack fic. Disclaimer, this is terrible in every and any form, because it is meant to be that way. If you want quality, structure, a story that makes sense, this ain’t it chief. This is certified Crack. If you finish this and all you can say is something along the lines of “what the fuck”, my work here is done. (Besides, this isn’t edited to add to the overall crack vibe)

Enjoy and good luck, because it get worse and worse as it goes

Masterlist in bio // pinned post

Pairing: Jason Todd x Reader

Word count: 4626

Warnings: Mention of drugs, light non-graphic violence, language

Summary: You’re stuck in a world that does not make sense, alone and surrounded by secret police and spies that will report you to the government. One early morning, Jason appears in your living room. His arrival gives you an opportunity to get the hell out of there for good. 

You had taken a habit of sleeping lightly.

You, who had once cherished your sleep like it was the rarest gem in the world. Yet, you found out you had still severely underappreciated its importance in your life, something you realized only when it was gone. You missed it like an old friend who was gone to war and died on the front, leaving words forever unsaid. What would you do for just one more night in your bed, with your own pillows and that drool stain that just wouldn’t leave anymore, sleeping like a log until the late morning. Or just a nap, that even would be enough. But you were far from home now, and you didn’t have a lot of hope you’d ever come back. 

When you heard a loud thump in the living room, your eyes flew open and your muscles tensed. Pushing off the pink comforter and pulling on the equally pink robe that was draped over the wooden chair, you carefully made your way down the corridor and toward the sound. A man dressed in black and red, with a red helmet complementing his strange outfit was standing there, looking around like he was trying to understand what was going on. You plastered a smile on your face. 

“Hiya there” The corner of your mouth hurt from the strain of smiling so wide. “Can I help you?”

“Uh?” He looked up, and even through his helmet you could assume his eyes were wide with confusion. They wouldn’t get you this time, you’d make sure of it. He didn’t fool anyone. “Where am I?”

“Silly!” You laughed, waving your hand in a small dismissive gesture. “We’re in Happy Town, obviously!”

“Uh?” He repeated, already visibly exhausted. That one agent lasted longer than the last, you had to give him that. His confusion was credible and well played down to the last detail. “Listen, lady, I’m sorry I crashed your house but I need you to point me toward Metropolis”

“Metropolis? I haven’t heard of a city of that name” You didn’t drop the smile. The goddamn smile. “Although, you are quite illegal sir, black and red are prohibited colors”

“... What?” 

“I’m afraid you’ll need to change” You explained. “Luckily for you, I have spares in the bedroom. Come along”

“Wait, prohibited?” He repeated, and you nodded eagerly. A test, it’s always a test. “What colors aren’t prohibited then?”

“Well, pink, you silly goose!”

He stared at you for the longest time. “What the fuck”

You froze. Actual agents were not allowed to swear, under any circumstances. They were physically not able to, even. “What did you say?”

“I said what the fuck”

You let your smile drop and sighed in relief. “Oh thank fuck”

“Hey, stay with me” He waved a hand in your face. “What the fuck is going on? Where am I?”

“Okay, we don’t have a lot of time, but basically” You paused, looking around to make sure all of your curtains were closed. You found a way to disable your microphones, but you had only to sunrise before they turned back on again. It was less suspicious that way, when you could attribute the lack of sound to you sleeping. Besides, you couldn’t risk you saying incriminating things in your sleep. “We are in a side dimension called Happy Town, but things are sketchy here. I don’t know what they are hiding, but if you don’t stick to their gimmick to the letter, you’re going to reeducation camps and stuff. This is some serious brainwashing, and I’m talking worse than Scientology”

“Fuck” He swore, taking off his helmet. “How did I get here?”

“Some portal, I dropped in the same place you did” You spoke quickly, in a hushed tone. “I haven’t found a way out, obviously, but if you came from Earth too, I’m betting there’s something I missed”

“This is insane” 

“You tell me” You scoffed. “And you haven’t even seen how bonkers this place really is yet”

“Do I really have to wear pink?” He flinched, and your eyes widened.

“Yes, you do!” You replied. “They will have you under scrutinization as soon as you step out of this house. If you want to survive, you must follow the rules to the letter. They don’t fuck around, I tell ya. When I first appeared, all the neighbors moved away and were immediately replaced by other creepier neighbors. I swear they’re spies. They’re all spies!”

“Wait, how long have you been there?”

“I don’t know, years?” You guessed. Could have been any measure of time really, you couldn’t know for sure. “I have no idea how I got through their brainwashing sessions. Either I outsmarted them, or they have no idea what they’re doing. It’s better not to take any chance, though”

“This is fucked up” He sighed and sat on the couch. “Besides wearing pink, what do I have to do?”

“Oh boy, sit tight” You began pacing in front of him. You didn’t know him, but he was your best chance at getting the hell out of here. Your bed now seemed a little bit closer now, even though you knew you’d never sleep the same. “It’s not just the clothing that’s pink, it’s any fabric, by the way, because happy people like pink”

It was like he was now aware that every couch, chair, carpet, curtain in your house was actually pink. 

“You gotta smile, always. You gotta look like chuck-e-cheese on crack” You continued, pacing in front of him. “Talking of which, never, EVER eat pie. I don’t know what’s in it, but it messes with your brain. Always find an excuse or distraction to avoid eating it”

“I’m not--”

“Never allude to the microphones you might find, act like you’ve never seen them and have no idea they’re there” You added. “Also, tomorrow we’ll have to get you registered if we don’t want the secret police to storm the house. You’ll have to follow my lead or we’re both dead, got it?”

“Yeah but--”

“Don’t say anything incriminating during the day” You interrupted him again. “I tweaked the microphones so they’re scrambled from midnight to sunrise. But that’s it. Also, always assume anyone you talk to is a spy or a snitch. It’s the Stasi all over again here, you can’t trust anyone who you don’t hear swear, which is nobody”

“Wai wait” He stopped you as you opened your mouth to continue on. “Why?”

“Because the people from here cannot swear, happy people don’t swear, they smile and giggle” You felt your eye twitch as you recited the lines you were fed over and over again. “The people engineered here are not able to, only those they kidnapped from Earth. Bad news is, beside that, they are virtually non-differentiable from each other. And they all wear those stupid pink clothes, only the regular police wears a darked shade of magenta. Other than that, all the same”

Confusion and horror was evident on his face. He sat there, processing it all as your eyes fell on the clock. You had about ten minutes until the first rays of sun showed up and reactivated the mics. “There’s no way back?” He finally asked.

“Not that I know of yet” You wrapped your hands around yourself. “You know, I have been begging for help out of this hell hole. You might be the key. Anyway, we gotta change you into something non offensive before they find out you’re here”

You dragged him in the bedroom, leaving him at the threshold while you rummaged through the dresser. All those clothes had been there too when you popped in the house, as if they had known exactly what they were doing by bringing you here. However, it wasn’t clear whether or not they had planned for their new citizen to be you. Ad judging by the arsenal of weapons on the new guy, ir reinforced your theory that the actual selection was still experimental. You weren’t exactly the shut up and obey type, and you doubted he was either.

“What’s your name?” You asked as you pulled a pink cardigan out of a drawer. It occured to you that you might have to know what to call him. Polite people knew the name of their housemate. You grabbed a yet again pink pair of slacks and pushed the clothes in his hands.

“Uh, Jason” He replied, surprised at the sudden income of pink fabric. You threw him the socks, suspenders, bow tie, belt and dress shirt that was, you guessed it, the exact same color as the rest. He was covered in pink clothes like a coat hanger.

“(Y/N)”

“Hey, I’m not wearing that” He objected as he took a better look at the clothes. His face turned to disdain as he shook his head like he had drank bad milk. “Nope, no way”

“If you don’t wear pink, they’ll kill you” You said through your teeth.

“No, I’m not talking about the pink” He said, his expression unchanging. He pulled the cardigan and held it up. “This. This won’t do at all. I’m not wearing a fucking cardigan”

You stared at him, wide eyed. You didn’t have the time to deal with that, sunrise was a few minutes away!

“You will wear that cardigan or so help me” You said in a low, yet threatening voice. He recoiled. “Suck. It. Up.”

Wordlessly, he headed for the bathroom on the other side of the bedroom. He changed in two minutes, coming back awkwardly with his pile of dark clothes. You picked them from him and walked to that spot just beside your bed, and kneeled. You unscrewed the floor board, which was already loose, and you deposited the bundle, weapons and all, next to a very, very dusty blue jeans and burgundy coat. You hurried to replace everything like it hadn’t been touched and stood up again to face an all pink, visibly uncomfortable Jason. He was tying his bow, a displeased frown on his face. It made you wonder what was his life before. He changed rather quickly, and didn’t seem confused by the way bow ties worked.

“What now?”

“We gel your hair”

“No” His eyes widened. The wake up siren sounded outside, and like a reflex learned through violent lessons, your face pulled into a pained smile. You still made a zipping motion over your mouth, pointing to the bathroom. With a silent sigh, he complied.

---

His smile looked unnatural.

But again, so did yours probably. So did everyone’s. Smiling that much wasn’t natural for anyone or anything but perhaps a hyena. Or a clown. You walked arms in arms with him, waving at people sending you curious glances, their smiles unwavering. The government was already aware of this presence, either because they zapped him there or because they heard your made up meeting conversation through the microphones. 

“Okay, I see what you meant by everyone is a spy” He muttered through his teeth, making sure his lips weren’t moving. He was holding to his grin like it was a lifeline. And it was. 

“Right?” You replied in the same manner. “So don’t slip”

“I won’t”

“Well hello there!”

You jumped in surprise at the Mayor appearing in front of you, seemingly out of nowhere. You put your free hand on your heart and laughed. “Hi there, you startled me good!”

He laughed. Jason laughed. It all seemed forced. 

“I see we have an addition in Happy Town!” The mayor pointed to Jason, nodding in approval at his attire. “Where did you come from?”

His first test.

“I… Came from Earth!” He replied with enthusiasm. “Although I have to say, I looooove this place. It’s so… Happy!”

Well played, Jason. Well played.

“I am so glad to hear you say that” He placed a “friendly” pat on his shoulder, but he seemed satisfied. “What is your name, lad?”

“Dick Grayson, sir” 

You swallowed back your confusion at his words, but also at the hint of genuine smile that crossed his expression. Keep smiling.

“Well Mr. Grayson, welcome to Happy Town!” They shook hands. “I see Miss (Y/N) is already taking care of you, integrating you nicely in our community”

His gaze shifted to you as a silent warning behind those cold, smiling eyes. You had your fair history of problems with them, but they had every reason to think it was over now. Still, the warning lingered. But those pink assholes wouldn’t catch you this time.

“I’ll make sure he becomes one of us in no time!” You assured, giving a light nod to Jason.

“No doubt you’ll make an amazing couple” He tipped his pink hat and you noticed Jason held back a cough of surprise. “The daily play of the anthem is about to start, I must return to city hall. I’ll see you around!”

He waved. You waved. Jason waved. He walked away with a skip in his step like the happy jerk he was.

“Couple?” He said, coming back to your public mode of communicating. 

“Sorry, I should have warned you” You sighed internally.

“Sorry?”

“Yeah!” You wanted to burst out so bad. “What about it, Dick Grayson?”

“I wasn’t about to give them my real name” He defended, watching around for people noticing your hushed conversation. But everybody was preparing for the anthem, their attention directed to the morning messages man on the giant screens.

“So you gave that poor guy’s instead?”

“Poor? Nah. Relax, he can take care of himself” What you were sure was a chuckle escaped his lips. “Besides, he’s not even--”

“Ladies and Gentlemen, please rise for our national anthem”

You elbowed Jason and stood up straight, the sun hitting the side of your face. He mimicked your posture. The music started, and you could see faltering in the corner of your eye.

“Is this--”

“Yes”

“What the fuck”

“I know”

“Whyyyyyyy”

“Stay with me” You urged silently. You really didn’t know how or why Happy Town’s anthem came to be ‘Yeah!’ by Usher feat Lil Jon and Ludacris, but even if you did, now was not the ideal time or place to get into that kind of discussion. You suspected it had something to do with the exclamation mark after the ‘yeah’. But you could be wrong. You still didn’t understand the bigger picture however, since the lyrics clearly contained the word ‘not’ followed directly by ‘happy’ in the first verse, which made ‘not happy’. It was against the party line. 

“Okay, we stage a coup tonight” He decided as the song ended. “I don’t think I can do this another day”

----

Midnight came slowly.

After a day of mingling and presenting Jason as Dick Grayson and your future husband like the Mayor had most probably hinted at during your morning encounter, of slyly getting out of eating pie and avoiding the police, you were glad to finally breathe. 

“UUUUGH” Jason whined, plopping on the couch. “I can never look at the color pink the same way ever again. I’m sick of it, sick of it!”

“Get it together!” You snapped. “We need to plan our coup. We’ve got one shot for it, and if it fails we’re toast. I need my bed, Jason. MY BED”

“Alright, what do you have in mind?” He asked, taking a deep breath. “You know this place more than I do”

“I say tomorrow night, we quietly follow the police after their curfew patrol round” You began, biting the skin around your nails. “How good is your stealth?”

He looked at you blankly for a good ten seconds before he let out a small, ironic snort. “Above average, I’d say”

It was like he wanted you to ask why he’d think that, but you were too busy thinking about your plan. “Good, good” You nodded. “There must be some headquarters somewhere. All we have to do is get there, threaten them at gunpoint--Your guns are functional yes?”

“Obviously”

“--So they’ll zap us back to Earth. And if not, we shoot the mayor and take control of this hell”

“That escalated quickly,” He stated. “But what the hell, sure, I’m on board. Let’s go”

“Tomorrow the sun sets at 8:07. We’ll need to be changed and ready to go by then”

“Wait, tomorrow?” He sprung up in his seat, eyes wide. “No, no. I can’t take one more day of pink cardigans and pleasant conversations with spies!”

“DEAL WITH IT” You gestured wildly before calming down almost instantly. You didn’t need the neighbors to hear and report a fight. “Patrol is already over for today. Be smart about this”

“Fine” He sighed aggressively. “But if this flops, I’m taking everyone down with me. There won’t be an after tomorrow, I can fucking tell you”

“Yeah I won’t stop you”

“Good”

“Good.”

You stayed there in silence, unmoving for a moment. This was it. The moment you’ve been waiting for. Your liberation. Your bed was less than 24 hours a day if things went as planned, which you hoped it would. 

“I’ll… Sleep on the couch” He mumbled after a while, moving to lay down. YOur eyes widened.

“You can’t” You objected, knowing the government would find a way to find out the scam you were running through that detail. 

“Why not?”

“If the secret police comes for a surprise inspection and your side of the bed is cold, we’re kaputt” You explained. “We’re supposed to be at the very least fiancés, remember?”

“God fucking dammit” He swore, looking up at the sky like it would help him. Ha, you already tried that and it didn’t work.

---

The next day, as you prepared the decaf pot of coffee because happy people didn’t need caffeine to be happy, a knock sounded on your door. Jason was taking a shower in the bathroom, so you went and opened the door. Like you had predicted, two men in dark magenta stood at your doorstep with dangerous looking smiles. 

“Good morning ma’am” One greeted with a tip of his hat. “This is a surprise inspection, warranted by the new arrivant in your household, name Dick Grayson and title husband to be. May we come in?”

Your smile widened as you stepped aside, like you actually had a choice in the matter.

“Of course!” You exclaimed. “Coffee, officers?”

“We’ll have to politely decline, thank you” The other smiled as they came in and observed the clean state of the house. All houses were required to be neat and clean at all times. They looked around for something out of place, slowly but surely directing themselves to the bedroom at the end of the hall. You followed them a few paces away, ready to answer their question if they had some. It wasn’t your first surprise check. 

They finally reached the room, from where they could hear the shower running. Their gazes caught the neatly folded pink pile on the bed, then they surrounded it. They started to feel under the comforter and drapes, on the pillows, everywhere they could spot the presence or absence of another person. You called it, oh you so called it.

The shower stopped, and both officers shared a look. “Alright, everything is in order ma’am. Have a good breakfast and a good day!”

You escorted them to the door, threw them a thank you on the way and silently sighed once the door closed behind them. You returned to your coffee, and not long after, Jason emerged from the hallway all dressed in pink.

“Ooh, who were the gentlemen here?” He inquired cheerily, but you knew what it meant. 

“Some nice officers came to see if we were doing fine here!” You replied with equal cheer.

“Shucks, I missed them” He snapped his fingers, chuckling. “Next time perhaps”

“Of course!” The pep in your voice did not match your eye roll. Thank god there were no cameras. 

You finished breakfast and went to town once again, like you did everyday. You felt like everyone was staring at you even more than usual. Like they all knew what you planned for that night. You might have been slightly paranoid, but Jason’s calm demeanor was helping. He was good at that, like he had practiced for all of his life to deceive people.

The mayor bothered you again after the daily play of the anthem, a song you were sure would elicit a violent reaction from you once you would be back in the real world. Then, you repeated the same daily routine you had had forever. Smile, avoid the pie, smile, talk with the neighbors-spies, smile, think about how life is amazing, smile.

Smile smile smile smile smile smile. 

Eurgh.

That night, the pleasant conversations contained codes to trump the microphones. Jason pretended to dance while you unscrewed the loose floorboard and carefully placed his clothes and weapons on the bed. You picked your old clothes, quietly dusting them off. They smelled weird but you were excited to wear something other than pepto bismol dyed fabric. Making sure the curtains were drawn, you proceeded to change. Jason looked ecstatic to finally be rid of his cardigan, while you took a moment to appreciate your black t-shirt and burgundy coat. While he had his red helmet, he handed you a domino mask from his pocket. You had no idea why he had that, but you took it anyway. It looked cool and rebel. You sneaked through the back door, avoiding the spots of light by either lamps outside your house and street posts. You watched the patrol casually making sure everyone was inside, keeping a good distance in between you and them at every time. They weren’t talking, but whistling some creepy tunes. You had to make a small hike through a hill when they entered a gated tunnel, but you ended up in front of a giant factory where workers dressed in grey buzzed around with crates. YOu gasped.

“Illegal” You muttered.

“What?”

You shook your head. They had gotten to you too much, it was time you left that god forsaken place. “Nevermind. How do we go through that barbed wire?”

He pulled out a medium sized pair of cutters from… You had no idea where, but he had them. You shrugged, gesturing to him to go ahead. In a blink, you were in. You sneaked inside without being seen, navigating the building with guesses and feelings. You finally ended up in the main production room, where crates of products were opened and emptied in a giant bassin. The stirred liquid was purple and smelled strange, but you knew it was to do no good. And right beside, there was the pie filling packaging. 

“I knew it!” You hissed under your breath. “They’re putting drugs in the pie! Can you see what it is? Cocaine? Heroin?

“Doesn’t seem like…” He leaned in. “Wait…”

“Al-- Allegra?” You managed to read the crate.”Never heard of it, but it must be terrible and dangerous”

Jason turned his head and stared at you. HIs helmet bore no expression, but you were sure he looked at you like you were dumb. Did he know what it was? “Are you kidding me?”

“No, why?”

“Allegra is--” He sighed. “It’s allergy medication. It’s… Not drugs per say”

“Uh?”

“God dammit--” He paused as something caught his eyes. It was sparkly, and unfit for this environment. From it emerged five armed guys dressed in earth clothes. They had a bag of white substance, which was tasted by the man who welcomed them. “Of fuck, THAT’s cocaine” 

You waited as they put some of it in a vial, which already had purple liquid. 

“Fuck, they mix it with allegra?” He cursed, mostly to himself. “What kind of fucking insane dimension did I step in?” 

“I told you”

“Okay, so those guys will have to leave eventually” Jason pointed at the visibly Earth humans. “We’ll make sure we catch it as well”

“But they have machine guns” You pointed out, not sure how his mind worked. 

“Wait for my signal” You knew he was grinning under that helmet. Before you could ask him how the fuck he would manage five armed guys, he jumped over the rail and started running toward them. You shut your eyes shut as gunshots went off, then opened them again when it was silent. There were bodies around, but Jason was still standing, wrestling with two guys. You watched for a few seconds when you noticed a pink figure sneakily approaching from behind, a frying pan in his hand.

The mayor!

You jumped over the rail too, but your landing was way less graceful than Jason’s. Actually, you were pretty sure you sprained your ankle. But still, you ran-limped to the man and jumped on his back before he could bonk Jason’s head with his weapon.

“ARRRRRGH”

He did not see you coming, as he lost balance at your attack. You crashed on the ground, where you managed to get on top and start hitting him. But apparently neither of you knew how to punch, so it was a rather pathetic looking fight. You swapped and slapped, pulled hair and scratched, until you got a hold of his pan and made a pancake of his face. 

“Take that you pink fucking nightmare” You spat as you stood up. You turned to Jason, whose shoulders were shaking with silent laughter.

“Wow uh” He covered it with a cough. “That sure was an interesting fight to watch”

“Keep mocking me, mister fucking assassin” You rolled your eyes. “I stopped him from bonking your head”

“Alright, alright, thank you”

“No problem” You replied. “Let’s get out of here”

You went and stood on the platform the dealers came through, then waited. But nothing happened.

“I think we need to activate it” He spoke up. That was logical.

You scanned the room for a panel control, and you believed you spotted it on the opposite wall. You grabbed your shoe to throw at it, before Jason held back your arm’s motion.

“What the hell are you doing?”

“Activating the portal” You furrowed your brows, pointing at the panel. A big red button on which was written ‘ON’ was glaring at you from the distance. Practical target.

“Don’t throw your shoe, that’s dumb” He snorted. “Let me”

Before you could argue, he cocked his gun and fired a bullet right on the button. A death sound resonated, but nevertheless sparks began to fly and not just from the ruined panel. The portal opened and swallowed you, sending you through flashes and weird colors until you were spat out in a dull, dark place that smelled bad. Jason seemed to have landed just fine, but you were another story. You pulled yourself up, whining at the pain in your ankle. 

“I didn’t expect to see you here”

A creepy, unknown voice made you both turn around. It was a pale man with an unnaturally stretched smile and bad taste in clothes, and right away it made you think the worst. You had been thrown in Dark!Happy Town. Without thinking, you let out a war cry and hurled your frying pan to the more evil version of the Mayor, knocking him out instantly.

What you didn’t expect though, was the roaring laughter from beside you. 

“Oh--Oh my god” He could barely talk. “I wished I filmed that”

“What? What’s happening?” You asked. Had he gone crazy? “Who’s that? We’re not back home are we?”

“Relax, we’re back” He took a deep breath, his shoulders still shaking. “You’ve just knocked out the most wanted criminal in Gotham city”

“WHAT?”

“Welcome back, (Y/N), welcome back”

[softlass27]

Directors cut of One More Word and you Wont Survive 🙏

Gah, this fic is so long, but I shall try and break it down!

So the initial idea came from a brief conversation I had with @soft-husbands about how ridiculous it was that in 2018 the writers had Lachlan kidnap Rebecca (who literally no one cared about) instead of Robert, which would have been a much better storyline. Since I needed to write something for her in a gift exchange, I decided to do my own version of it!

These are the key points/main ideas that were the most important for me:

Aftermath

One thing I knew I definitely wanted to do – even before I’d really worked out the exact plot – was include a lot of the actual aftermath of the kidnapping, and really show how it mentally affected Robert (as well as Aaron). I didn’t want to write one of those fics where you just have the drama, and then maybe one scene at the end where everything’s suddenly okay again. Which, y’know, is what the Emmerdale writers tend to do. 🤷 

So that’s why the fic is literally divided into two halves – the action and the aftermath. And I loved writing the second half – looking at Robert’s mental state, showing other characters’ reactions, lots of communicating between him and Aaron etc.

I didn’t want Robert to just be fine straight away, I wanted him to take some time to settle back into things again, to go to counselling and to work towards recovering from what he’d been through. I kept it mostly quite upbeat and hopeful – I couldn’t bring myself to make it too angsty – but I did have Robert struggle to come to terms with what had happened to him.

On top of that, I wanted Aaron to be his rock. The writers never really gave Aaron a chance to be the strong one in the relationship, not for longer than a couple of episodes or so, and I wish we could’ve seen it. It would’ve been great to watch, but also a nice switch for Danny and Ryan (who would’ve both smashed it!).

And of course this was an excuse for me to write lots of soft fluffy husbands content, which as you all know, is my jam.

Lachlan

So in the show, I thought the writers did a good job of building up Lachlan’s psychotic tendencies. In late 2017, he did begin to seem quite scary, you could see they were building up to him properly snapping.

But then as soon as he actually did start killing people, he became kind of… meh. They’d done all this buildup to make him as deranged as possible, but from the Whites car crash onwards, his character lost all that great creepiness and just became a bit of a wet wipe. His killing of Gerry was completely lame, his kidnapping of Rebecca was rubbish and so was the aftermath. He spent most of his time flapping about what to do and obsessing over Belle, and honestly he became one of the most boring soap villains they’ve ever done. By the time he was arrested and went to prison, they’d lost so much momentum it was kind of a pitiful ending for him.

Maybe it’s because I watch a lot of crime stuff (both true and fictional), but I just wanted more. I wanted him to be terrifying, to be unhinged and scarily cold. And it made sense to me that he would really show this side of himself by kidnapping and torturing Robert. Robert’s been his number one enemy from the beginning – he hates him more than anyone and essentially blames him for every single thing that went wrong in his life. In terms of storytelling, it only seemed right that his final showdown would be with Robert and no one else. It’s what both characters deserved.

So that’s what I wrote. I did a big final “fight to the death” between the two, and I tried to make Lachlan this cold-blooded psychopath who got off on making Robert suffer as much as possible – for as long as possible. All those years of built-up resentment finally spilled out of him and it made him totally lose the plot. But at the same time, he was able to switch that off and act completely normal when he was with Belle. I tried to show this in a few scenes, like including a moment where he told Robert – his kidnapped victim – he had to go because Belle was expecting him to go for breakfast with her family.

I really enjoyed doing it, but at the same time I was terrified that the way I was writing him would seem ridiculous, like he’d come off as a bit of a silly pantomime villain. It seems to have paid off though, judging by peoples’ reactions, so I’m quite happy with how my Lachlan turned out :)

Chas/Paddy/Liv

I knew from the beginning that Chas, Paddy and Liv would all be on the “wrong” side of the story, so to speak. They’d be the sort of “lesser” villains, the ones causing conflict on Aaron’s end and in the second half of the story.

On the show, I never really believed that any of them actually accepted Robert as family after reunion 2.0, to me it seemed like Chaddy were just civil with him as long as he made Aaron happy. And I never bought into the whole “roblivion” concept during boyfriends era, so I was even less convinced of it in husbands era. I always found it shallow and fake on Liv’s end.

This was pretty much proved right by Chas, Paddy and Liv’s behaviour during the aftermath of Robert’s exit – all three of them showed their true colours and their true feelings about him very quickly. 

Considering every time things got rough for Robron on the show, Chaddy and Liv either turned on Robert or just acted like he never existed/meant anything and actively tried to push Aaron to “grow up” and move on from him, it made perfect sense to me to have them suspect the worst of Robert in my story. To assume that him disappearing meant that he’d done something wrong, rather than he was in trouble.

(Fun fact: the scene where Robert has that big showdown with Chaddy in the pub was actually one of the first ones I wrote. Ah, priorities.)

I wanted Aaron to be strong, to never doubt that Robert was in trouble and to unapologetically stick by him in the aftermath. I wanted him to stand up to Chaddy and to put Robert before Liv for once (judging by quite a few comments that I got, lots of other people did too, so I’m glad I went for it!). I also wanted him to make it very clear that his main family unit – his priority – was Robert and Seb, not the Dingles’ feelings. Anyone who disagreed with him could fuck right off as far as he was concerned.

By the end of the story, Aaron has very much allied himself with the Sugden family, that’s why we saw lots of him with Diane and Vic. I really wanted to call back to the “Who Shot Robert” era, where they both stepped up and rallied around Robert 100%, only this time with the bonus of Aaron being on their side, too.

Rebecca/Ross/Seb

I mean… this is quite self-explanatory, but I knew from the beginning that Rebecca would die and Ross would end up going to Liverpool miserable and alone. No happy ending for either of them because they didn’t fucking deserve it.

And of course, this would mean that Seb would stay with his dads where he belongs. I will never get tired to coming up with new ways for this to happen (just you wait for Aaron week).

The ending

Since I was writing this fic for the engagement anniversary gift exchange, I thought it’d be fun to include an actual engagement at the end of it. I hadn’t necessarily planned to make it another lay-by proposal, but when I looked at my story timeline (yes, I did make an actual timeline lmao) and I realised that the 4th December wasn’t very far away, I knew I HAD to get them back to that spot. It was only right!

So I’m probably in the minority here, but I’m not actually a huge fan of proposal 2.0. Don’t get me wrong, it’s nice and super cute, but the whole “trying to propose to each other at the same time” gimmick just wasn’t really for me. I thought it was a bit unrealistic that they’d both separately just randomly come up with the same idea at the same time (I know, I’m sorry). And since we’d already had Robert do it the first time, I kind of wanted the second one to be totally Aaron’s thing, let him have a proper turn.

So I took elements of proposal 2.0 that I liked – the location, some of the dialogue – and took out the bits that I didn’t – Robert trying to propose, Aaron’s funfair lie (I’m sorry but that was just dumb), the jinx thing, other people (Chaddy and Liv) being so involved. Thereby creating my own perfect version of proposal 2.0 (what can I say, I am a self-indulgent girl).

I think in this universe, after everything they’d been through, after Aaron’s terror of losing Robert for good, it seemed right that he would be the one to do the asking. And because we know he’s a sentimental sod, it made sense that he would wait until their lay-by anniversary to do it.

[danwhobrowses]

AEW: Predicting the Next Champions (from Dec 2020 Onward)

Note: Spoilers for AEW Dynamite ‘Winter is Coming’ 2nd December Show

So Winter Came, and it came for Jon Moxley’s title reign. With a new champion, Kenny Omega’s reign will begin and most likely rule into and potentially beyond the year 2021 - along with what seems to be a budding relationship with IMPACT wrestling as well. At this current point I am expecting all the current champions: Darby, Cage, Young Bucks, and Shida to still be champions come the year’s end. So now is time to determine who will take the title from them? Note: While I am Legitimizing the FTW Championship for these predictions I am not doing predictions for the AEW Diamond Ring since it seems to be an annual trophy thing, the same applies for the Deadly Draw medals.

Potential AEW Trios Championship Prediction: Death Triangle Alternative Options: Jurassic Express, Best Friends & Orange Cassidy or Dark Order This is just an out-there one because there currently is no Trios Championship, but recently Tony Khan has noted that there is the possibility of a Trios Championship being introduced in 2021, and with several stables having 3 members it does look very likely.  So for my money, PAC and the Lucha Bros’ faction Death Triangle (or Triángulo de la Muerte) will be the first to claim the gold. Currently a tween faction having feuded with Eddie Kingston and family, Death Triangle is definitely one of the most popular trios stables in AEW, to the point that we’ve anticipated their reunion longer than they’ve been a stable. Also, the Lucha Bros are due a title win, they fell short on the AEW Tag tournament and kinda hovered in the midcard, so they do need this the most. Alternatively, I can see other trios winning with the same appeal. Jurassic Express have been a favourite babyface faction who also seem to lose more than they win, the Best Friends with OC could use their experience to establish a solid reign and the Dark Order’s resurgence and usage of the Freebird Rule could allow them to enable dominance by numbers. While Team FTW and the Inner Circle could also be long shots, FTW have their own title and the Inner Circle, may have other plans for them. One can wish that the Trios Championship could be Intergender to allow more women to wrestle and be involved in factions, could have All-Women trios or mixed Trios but I do doubt so I won’t entertain for now.

FTW Championship Prediction: Cody Rhodes Alternative Options: Eddie Kingston, Lance Archer, ‘Hangman’ Page, Wardlow or Mr. Brodie Lee Recently the FTW Championship has been gaining attention due to Team Tazz’s prolonged feud with Darby Allin overlapping with Cody Rhodes. The rankings do have Cage and Starks very high up without title matches - save for Cage’s Casino Ladder Match victory entitling him to one. In the prior Dynamite, Tazz demanded that the FTW Championship be legitimized, and I feel like this will only happen if it changes hands to Cody. As much as he is talented and has a good head on him, Cody has unfortunately been reluctant to leave a form of spotlight. With the Shaq thing going nowhere like the Tyson thing was with Jericho, Cody making a ‘rise up’ feud with Cage and winning the FTW Championship would be a means to keep Cody in a top billing as he looks to legitimize the title only under his possession. This could also further storyline with Tazz, having ‘Hook’ perhaps side with his father and FTW fight to reclaim their branded title, or even Tazz vacating the title from Cody in stubborn rage. The alternative would be down to who else would have Brian Cage in their corsairs to be a legitimate threat. The FTW Championship this way could be a ‘Big Man’ belt since not many can beat Cage and share the FTW mantra Tazz would allow the belt to change hands for. With that in mind, Archer, Wardlow and Brodie are definitely ‘Big Man’ wrestlers capable of dethroning Cage and Eddie Kingston would definitely be someone who fits the FTW attitude, the man is money after all. Hangman Page would also be a decent shout to further his slow-burn storytelling, having Hangman fall into nihilism with this title, but for it to bring him no joy since this first singles title of his is from an illegitimate championship.

AEW World Tag Team Championship Prediction: Santana & Ortiz (Inner Circle) Alternative Options: FTR, Best Friends or Dark Order It is no easy feat to dethrone the Young Bucks. There’s not much else you can say about that, because of this it is not easy to determine who in the uber talented tag division can usurp them. Acclaimed, TNT, Private Party and Top Flight are not ready and Hybrid 2 are so talented but not in the champion mentality, the Trios Title talk also makes JE and Death Triangle less likely to just go for the tandem title. As a result, I am picking the former LAX to beat the Bucks. While Jericho and Hager seem to be representing the Inner Circle’s tag front right now, I do not think they would be successful to defeat the Bucks, this could trigger Santana and Ortiz to finally get involved. Like the Lucha Bros, despite some stellar matches they have found themselves aimless, so this is a good time to rebuild them to the great tag team we know them to be. With the advantage of the Inner Circle backing them also, it would restore legitimacy to the faction’s name. Other than the Inner Circle, FTR are probably the most likely to usurp the Bucks, I only don’t think they will because as the former holder it’d be a bit of a flip flop. The feud doesn’t need a title after all. Best Friends may not have to team with OC to capture gold, the same way that Dark Order don’t need to go for the Trios to capture gold, the Dark Order’s overness and the fact that the Bucks have taken responsibility for their booking could mean that they will seek to pay off the faction as a whole.

AEW TNT Championship Prediction: MJF Alternative Options: Sammy Guevara, Jungle Boy, Ricky Starks, Orange Cassidy or Miro Darby Allin is definitely entertaining as hell, but now he has the test of seeing if he can carry momentum on a weekly TV basis as a champion. I am certainly sure he can do it, but his downfall can easily be putting his body in too much harm’s way, which fits the strategy of MJF. Potentially without the AEW Diamond Ring when his challenge comes around, MJF can certainly profit from being a title holder in year 2 of AEW, his prior snipes at Darby especially before his World Title match against Moxley can fuel his confidence going against him and with the Inner Circle and Wardlow flanking him it can lead to him resorting to cheat tactics for heat and potentially lead to his downfall for when he loses the title, as well as neutralizing the legendary Sting - who I expect to stick around Darby, or at the least have a paternity test - for that extra dose of nuclear heat. Ricky Starks is considered the common alternative right now given their long-term feud, but let’s not forget Sammy Guevara had a great series of matches with Darby in the early days too. Miro right now is in one of AEW’s weaker gimmicks at the moment but a TNT title reign can restore dominance to his character. One possibility we do have to consider though is the heel turn, Darby could easily become consumed with defending his championship by any means, or his challenger obsessed with claiming gold, the former would better suit against opponents like Orange Cassidy - who will then be forced to ‘try’ - or Jungle Boy - who would seek to establish himself as a future world champion and not just an athletic midcarder.

AEW Women’s World Championship Prediction: Britt Baker DMD Alternative Options: Abadon, Kris Statlander, Thunder Rosa or Jade Cargill Despite its criticism, I believe that Hikaru Shida’s record-breaking title reign has been for the most part great. Shida herself has made a great fighting champion, calling on all contenders and having very good matches, to the point where we hold Shida matches at a higher standard to others. While I would love to have a strike match between her an a strongly-booked Tay Conti, I don’t think it’ll happen in time for Shida to still be champion, because the Doctor is in. Britt Baker was intended to be the Face of the Women’s Division, but after failing to connect with the crowd she became a revelation as a heel, only to be cut down by injury. In my opinion, AEW have maintained confidence in Shida’s reign because they want Britt to overcome her, likely by snide heel tactics to subdue Shida when she continues a juggernaut run through the division. Bringing a heel champion in will also open the door for more face challengers to shine, including returns for Riho, Statlander and Yuka Sakazaki. Currently Abadon has began to feud with Shida, crossing paths for the first time since Abadon’s only AEW loss against the then-not-champion Shida. Leaning on having the champion face fear, despite the Champion’s insistence that she is not afraid, it is still possible for fear to take over and for Abadon to win the championship, her gimmick definitely stands out and she has a definite following, there is also crossover value for her if AEW link her with or against IMPACT’s Su Yung and/or Rosemary. Other than Abadon, Statlander’s return from injury could start with a Heel turn of her own, allowing Statlander to use her power moves to more intensity, former NWA Women’s Champion Thunder Rosa may also rekindle the rivalry for a second crack. While I’ll admit I’ve not seen Jade Cargill wrestle, if looks are to be judged, Cargill can certainly rule as a smarmy heel champion, and there can be added story with Vickie Guerrero allying with her and guiding her to get personal vengeance on Shida where Nyla failed.

AEW World Championship Prediction: ‘Hangman’ Page Alternative Options: PAC, Brodie Lee or Brian Cage Storytelling doesn’t have to be convoluted to be great, AEW and NXT have proven that with stellar stories even when we knew how it would end. And climbing Adam Page from the gutter to the top is certainly the story one would top off a big PPV or an Anniversary show on. Granted, it’d be a super slow burn, but Omega is certainly a champion you expect to hold ‘Big Platinum’ for a long time, it also serves AEW better to limit the amount of times their main belt changes hands, which I’m sure the EVPs are all well aware of. Kenny’s alliance with Callis can usher in some IMPACT wrestlers to perhaps bolster Kenny’s allies and opponents but for now I feel that AEW should keep their world title at the very list restricted to their roster. Outside of Hangman, PAC definitely has unfinished business with Omega, the Bastard’s talent cannot go amiss and his character has been a proven success in WWE and the Indies as strong titleholder. Brodie may also fit the top title, his feud with Moxley was brief but very entertaining, I would love him to have the same coveting that he did in the Moxley feud, even having Dark Order members carrying the title for him to the ring. The final option so far has to be Brian Cage, in NJPW Kenny had multiple foils; Okada, Tanahashi, but one of the major ones was the ‘Stone Pitbull’ Tomohiro Ishii, a man with plenty of physical similarities to Brian Cage. Cage’s deceptive speed and monster power could prove to be a similar foil to Omega as Ishii had been for him years prior. So yeah, congrats to AEW’s new champion, I wonder how many I’ll get right.

[oneheadedcerberus]

Transformers Review #2

Here I am again with the second installment of my very own incredibly self-indulgent toy review (potential) series that is an obvious and thinly veiled excuse for me to talk about the things I like + substitute for true socialization in the wake of quarantine.

And since he’s the one I keep on my desk to hold my tablet pen like a tiny, evil secretary who is no doubt plotting against me:

This is War for Cybertron: Earthrise Voyager Starscream.

Right off the bat, it’s a good first impression. The shape and colours are very classically ‘Starscream’, which is no surprise, given the entire gimmick of Earthrise (and the wider Generations line, really) is essentially ‘G1, but newer’. Nostalgia is a deep pool that companies like Hasbro are never afraid to dip into, what can you say?

The reds and blues are lush as hell (although I have seen a bit of chipping on the red paint! Blue seems to be coloured plastic, tho), but frankly the grey is a bit dull and boring. It wouldn’t be so bad if the back of him wasn’t such a wall of grey. Face him forwards on the shelf, I suppose?

The orangey-yellow of the cockpit is a nice splash to really bring the A-game of the primary colours, very eye catching, and all of it topped off with a glossy black head.

His eyes don’t have much to bring to the party with how small and strangely sunken into his face they are, especially with the awning of his forehead casting them into eternal shadow. They’re honestly a bit difficult to see. Maybe its a statement on Starscream and his duplicitous nature? Yeah probably not. They are a lovely red when I shine my phone light on them, however. 

The face sculpt is a good point as well, with nice, clear features and even a bit of a sulky frown, for extra Starscreaminess.

And even if his neck is a kind of hilariously thin, it does give him a good amount of mobility in his head, both tilt and swivel.

His whole body is riddled with sculpting and detail, absolutely covered in little roboty looking lines and bits and bobs that help bring him to life and help the weapons ports and seams blend in. Much like the colours, there’s more on the front than the back, but seeing how the back is mostly jet as a opposed to robot, and thus largely flat and smooth, I can forgive.

His proportions are just the tiniest bit off to my eye - arms just a touch short and his head just a bit small, but that’s probably so it can fit into the nosecone kibble-hat hanging gracelessly off his back, which I would have an easier time being mad at if it didn’t allow for my favourite feature of the whole toy

would you believe this is the first thing I did after opening the box? Because it was.

He’s got large, stable feet perfect for balancing, stepping over ones enemies, or climbing the ranks. You go, Starscream.

Good, solid legs with no awkward hollow sections. Unfortunately the big ol’ solid stompers are about the highlight of the legs- the posing ability on this guy is lackluster, to say the least

His shoulders and elbows are about standard, nothing spectacular, but that up there is as far as his knees and legs will bend. The knees manage 90~ degrees, but he can’t even really sit down, and to move his legs up at all you need to raise his little red skirt crotch flap thingy. They don’t move backwards at all, being blocked by part of the alt mode. Hm.

But, y’know what? He does have those classic turbine tits, so there’s that. Silver linings.

The transformation is about 30 steps, and once I’d done it a few times I found it to be easy to memorize and a decent amount of fun to do. It had some neat little steps such as folding his forearms around the rest of his arms and then hiding them in his chest- after removing the cockpit, of course. I was pleasantly surprised to find that the cockpit in his chest is the actual one in the alt mode, I’m far more used to Seeker molds using a fake-out for that. Although it does leave his chest with a bit of a gap in it in alt mode. Eh. Give and take.

The actual act of opening his chest was damn difficult and a touch nerve racking, it was stuck fast and I ended up having to pry it open (thank you, trusty prybar thing I keep on my desk) all the while being sure I was about to break it. Luckily, it didn’t break and is opening easier now that I’ve done it a few times. The wings did pop off, tho. Good thing they go straight back on.

His legs are pretty simple, pull his shins open, fold them up, clip them together and click them in place, in a move that is similar (but much simpler) to his arms. I actually managed to get to that stage without the instructions before realizing I was baffled by where to stick his arms. I’m not the best at puzzles, ok?

Or, if you are so inclined, you can skip the legs and make a bit of an awkwardly upright gerwalk

y’know. If you really wanna.

Once you get through all the major steps, the alt mode snaps together pretty satisfyingly.

The nosecone really beefs up the length of this thing (it’s actually a bit too long for the lightbox I use for my photos, damn), and the sheer jet-ness of this alt mode makes me kinda want to woosh it around the room making my own low-flying aeroplane sound effects. So I did. At least I resisted the urge to toss him. For now.

On the downside, the underside kinda shatters the illusion a bit. He’s head is well hidden, if technically still visible if you know where it is, but damn does his torso look like a torso. The rest of him might be disguising itself as not-a-body a bit better, but it sure as shit ain’t disguising itself as a jet. And there’s no landing gear. *Siiigh* I suppose you can’t have everything.

The topside, while very jet-y, is a bit of a slab of grey as well. Only the touches of red, white and blue and the lovely purple Decepticon badges stop it from looking kinda unfinished. But, hey the cockpit is semi-transparent, and you can just about make out a lil seat in there for a hypothetical pilot which I think is cute for some reason :). My one issue with the topside is the weapons port smack dab right in the middle there, like some kind of space-robot blowhole.

As for accessories go, he comes with his two null rays and that’s about it. They got well on his arms in robot mode and on his wings for the alt mode (or you can stick one in the blowhole if you really want, I suppose?), but he can’t really hold them in his hands like pistols, just in case you wanted him to do that.

They go pretty well on either his upper arms, as I prefer, or you can turn his arms and put them on his forearms if you so desire.

Sadly, no crown... though I’m sure one is available online if you really, really want.

His box, strangely enough, doesn’t have a secret code in it to fit with the Earthrise gimmick of decoding a star map. It did come with the little red bit of plastic for finding the codes, however.

In conclusion: The alt mode is pretty great and a lot of fun to play with, and I’m pretty happy with this to be the main Starscream of my collection and I‘m certainly not hankering for a new one anytime soon, I do kinda wish he had better posing. And the disappointing legs almost make me wish I gotten the Siege one instead, which I hear has some pretty amazing legs, with super deep knees. Fortunately for me I am a bit of a sucker for an Earth jet alt mode over a Tetrajet, so I can’t despair too much.

And he does do a superb job holding my pen.

Like so.

[sad-goomy]

iron & cream - fair

Day 1 of Bederia Week

Read on Ao3

Bede is only here because Opal kicked him out of the house.

It’s certainly not because Gloria (who is certainly not his only friend at university) invited him.

Nevertheless, he makes his way through Ballonlea, towards the central square where the Autumn Equinox Festival has set up, and he spots her right at the entrance, her usual wool beret sitting proudly atop her head.

“Was starting to think you wouldn’t come,” she hums with a small smile, a teasing one that knows a little too much for his taste.

He rolls his eyes. “If I didn’t, you’d cry about it in lecture.”

Not exactly true, but it’s just snarky enough to cover his tracks; besides, she’s always rather chatty in the literature course they share, so no doubt she’d recount her entire time at this tacky fair in excruciating detail while he’s trying to take notes.

And he absolutely wouldn’t look forward to it – not to the way her Postwick accent gets stronger when she’s excited, or how her eyes flicker from him to the front of the lecture hall, trying to split her attention until she nearly goes cross-eyed.

“Well come on, you’re the local,” she laughs, looping her arm around his and ignoring his noise of indignant protest at the gesture, leading them further into the square, “Show me everything I need to see!”

It occurs to him, after he’s showing her the best booth for fairy floss and they’ve taken a seat to watch the local band on stage play a lively folk song, that she could’ve asked a myriad of other people to come with her today.

Bede might keep to himself, scoff at the idea of socializing with other students who are no doubt a boring waste of his time, but Gloria very much doesn’t. Though she arrived in Ballonlea without knowing a single person, she’s quickly made a name for herself amongst students. They even ran into two girls she knew in line for the candy floss, and she’d easily breezed into a conversation about their seminar, and how their day was, and some rugby game he didn’t watch. If he didn’t know any better, he might think that she’s friends with every single person at their uni.

But she asked him to go with her to the fair. Him, the boy she sits next to in their morning lecture who never has a kind word to say about anyone or anything, and who even told her that he hated this stupid traditional celebration and refused to go.

He thinks it might be a sign that she’s a bit too dull to take a hint.

But then he’s the one who went and showed up, let her hang off his arm and chatter off his ear with little more than a frown.

Maybe he’s the stupid one.

She holds the fairy floss up to his face, breaking his train of thought as she tilts her head. An impish spark alights her eyes, and she plucks another piece of pink fluff for herself. “It nearly matches your hair.”

“Hardly.” His sneer only brings out another chuckle from her as she pulls the fairy floss closer to her chest but keeps it tilted towards him.

“Want some?”

“No. It’s pure sugar that rots your teeth.”

“Good.” She pops another piece in her mouth, waggles her eyebrows as she crosses one leg over the other. “Maybe then all my teeth will fall out and I can finally get those dentures I’ve been eyeing.”

He can’t help it; the one-note bark of a laugh is out before he can contain it, because it’s not quite a joke but it’s incredibly her. It may have only been a few weeks since they’ve started talking, but of at least one thing Bede is absolutely sure.

“You’re an odd girl.”

“And you’re an odd boy,” she counters smoothly with a half-smile, finishing off her candy floss and standing to toss the paper stick into a nearby bin.

It’s something he’s heard often growing up, something that’s crawled under his skin and makes him itch. There’s a reason he’s taken to being by himself, to proving to everyone that he’s above them rather than just outside, on the fringes of society no matter what he’s tried. Kids in primary school would always screw up their faces, call him odd if they caught him talking to plants, or how quickly he got upset.

Gloria, though, says it like it’s a good thing, like it might be badge to wear with pride rather than a nasty old scar to cover up.

She turns to face him once more, hands clasped behind her back as she shifts her weight. “Now c’mon, you’re not getting out of this without playing at least one game.”

He’s already up and leading her towards that section of the fair when he mutters, “You know they’re all scams, right?”

“That’s half the fun.”

There’s no logical argument to be made there, so he literally can’t argue with that, and instead settles on scanning the booths they pass. A gaggle of other first years passes them, waving at Gloria, and as she stops to chat with them, he takes the opportunity to pick out the least humiliating game he can. It’s not exactly easy, with all the bright colors and flashy gimmicks, but something simple and without a crowd in the corner catches his eye.

Gloria raises a brow when he leads her to it. “Horseshoe pitching?”

“It’s the only one you have even a chance of winning.” His tone is supposed to be haughty, but it brushes up against sincerity for just a second, just long enough that she gives him a curious look and he curses himself in his head, turning to instead face the woman running the game and handing off a few notes as Gloria accepts two iron horseshoes.

She stands behind the marked line, lines her arm up with the little pole sticking out of the dirt, gives a horseshoe a few experimental swings, and then she releases, sending it sailing through the air.

It lands a few centimeters short and to the right, and she doesn’t even need to look to know that Bede’s smirking at her, seconds away from an ‘I told you so.’ With a pout, she holds out the other horseshoe to him. “Show the village girl how it’s done.”

He rolls his eyes, but accepts the horseshoe anyway, their fingers brushing together and his skin feels electric for a moment.

And then it feels electric for several moments, like something’s tingling and sparking and heating up. He ignores it, chalks it up to the fact that the metal’s been warming up in the sun (despite the fact that Ballonlea hasn’t seen a properly sunny day in five years).

As he lines himself up, his right hand only grows warmer, and then it’s really burning, his skin prickling where it touches the horseshoe. He gives it a few slow swings, set on ignoring the odd sensation, but then it’s molten and melting him and he hears a sizzle, then his own scream as he drops the horseshoe onto the ground and grabs his own hand.

“Bede? You all right, mate?”

There’s sweat forming between his brows, and his stomach is turning as he looks at Gloria, but there’s three of her and they’re fuzzy around the edges. He opens his mouth to say something, closes it, opens it again, but no sound comes out. There’s something lodged in his throat, and his legs are shaking so badly that he thinks he might fall.

Sound is muffled – not some, but all, like his head is underwater, and he can’t make out the words that Gloria is saying. He feels her hands on his shoulders, gently leading him away from the square and towards the side of a building, some store he can’t recognize right now.

“Just deep breaths, okay?” He nods, feeling his body slide down and his head fall back against the wall. His heart beats against his ribcage so hard he thinks the bones might splinter, and his hand is still burning. The world is spinning, so he closes his eyes, tries to find some sort of grounding and finds it in Gloria’s voice as she leans down in front of him. “Do you need me to get someone? Talk to me, Bede. Look at me, please, I don’t know what’s going on.”

He opens his eyes, and it’s like he’s seeing the world for the first time.

There are traces of something silvery in the air, and colors are more vibrant, more plentiful somehow. His gaze shifts and then focuses to the right of Gloria’s cheek. A thin gauze of spring green surrounds her like a halo, pulsing and alive in a way that makes sense but he can’t quite explain. When he looks right in front of him, into her eyes, he can see spots of ivy and amber hidden amongst deep brown.

Her mouth falls open, and her hands fly to her purse, digging around blindly as she refuses to look away, swallowing a lump in her throat as she tries to find the words. “B-Bede, your eyes, they’re...”

She opens the front-facing camera on her phone, holding it up to his face.

His eyes, once blue, are now a vibrant purple, with a thin rim of silver surrounding his pupil.

Well if he wasn’t an odd boy before, he certainly is now.

[noellcfms]

chicago’s very own noelle washington has been spotted on madison avenue driving a mclaren 720s , welcome ! your resemblance to normani kordei is unreal . according to tmz , you just had your twenty-fourth birthday bash  . your chance of surviving new york is uncertain because you’re deceitful, but being benevolent might help you . i think being a gemini explains that .  3 things that would paint  a better picture of you would be sunset picnics , fruit smoothies , and the smell of vanilla . ( cis female + she/her ) +  (  elle , 20 , she/her , cst )

my name is elle! i was here like a month ago then i left to vibe and clear my brain but i’m back and better than ever! this is my absolute BABIE noelle, most of you will remember her, and those who don’t i am so sorry this fake bitch has to enter your life, enough about me let’s talk about noelle!

* --- biography

noelle washington was born into an extremely strict Christian family, the middle child of three children. her family did everything by the bible. her dad was an extremely famous tv preacher, and her mom was a lawyer turned preacher’s wife. perfect family dynamic, no gimmicks, just wholesome family love.

her and her siblings went to church everyday, noelle grew up believing the things that her family told her.

family was very fervent in their beliefs and noelle kinda just had to stick behind them because they were family? ya know?

noelle grew up with her housewife mother! who was constantly cooking and cleaning and taking care of household tasks, so noelle followed in her footsteps

she developed a love for cooking and baking, and it became a passion to her. her parents were proud! they raised such a positive child

but she wanted more, she had bigger aspirations than being good at cooking for somebody else one day

middle child vibes are your parents forgetting that you even go to gymnastics in the first place, but that’s what she did! and she was great!

but her parents wanted her to focus on the cooking thing so she did, went on chopped junior and she won!!!! would later go on to win an actual episode of chopped but that’s different tea

ANYWAYS from that her family was offered a reality tv show because wow what wholesome family activities! and their children are so talented!! wait noelle who again? yeah she was...ignored per usual love that for her

she continued to practice gymnastics and she was heckin good at it i’m proud of my bb, she went on to by the youngest female to win three gold medals a talented queen i know

her family finally wanted to put her on their show because she was bringing in views everyone wanted to know how she was so well behaved and obedient and performed on the level that she did

she was a really good student! was valedictorian, student council president, and a bunch of other extracurriculars that would make her family proud of her

honestly she was jus tryna get into a good college ngl...as far away from her family as she could get

BUT THE WORLD DEMANDED NOELLE and so her family delivered for her, finally she graduated and phew she couldn’t wait to get as far away as possible from them

she ended up going to Stanford for...law....and although her family could pay her way and she was offered a full ride...she didn’t want to have to depend on her family for anything SIS DIDN’T EVEN WANT TO CALL HOME

she went to Stanford and worked a normal job...and everyone was so shocked! to see Noelle Washington working a normal job and being you know a fucking human but despite the gawking she continued to do so

she graduated college with her law degree and as valedictorian so she was like cool i appeased my parents time to move back...and she moved back!

she was like ‘guys i don’t wanna be a lawyer i wanna...open a bakery’ and so she did

you can catch her there literally anytime in the morning because she might own the place but she also you know works there because it’s hers....fun times!

she’s just began releasing her music! and her vc is normani

but this america’s sweetheart bitch has a secret

everything i told you was the truth! but i mean one version of the truth here’s the side of noelle nobody gets to see

* --- second biography?

noelle’s family seemed perfect one the outside but her father was a serial cheater, and her mother was a borderline alcoholic

they didn’t love her or her siblings so they often all fell to the wayside unless it was maintaining appearances in public, then it was all smiles, and how they lived by the word, a bunch of bs

noelle stopped believing in what her family force fed her early on...but she kept that shit to herself

the cooking and cleaning and literally every other responsibility fell upon noelle and her siblings, she sorta despised her parents, but still craved their validation, it was a really messed up cycle

all of her achievements are true tho! she got valedictorian, student council president, youngest person to win three gold medals, etc etc

her family really did get their own reality tv show, and put on extreme appearances for the cameras...and noelle was pushed to the wayside because middle child vibes again

she did go to Stanford for law...but let’s get into the main portion of her double life

she didn’t work a normal job! she wasn’t a waitress or a cook or even a dishwasher nope she did none of that shit

she became a stripper! but she couldn’t show everyone her face obviously...so she developed a plan!

she would go on stage in a really extravagant masquerade mask...like to the point where nothing was recognizable but her eyes

and that shit worked! she was a hit! an icon! people loved her...she made mad bank

well one day an agent approached her and was like...do you want to do porn? and this extra ass bitch said more money? hell yeah

the one condition she did have was obviously she kept the mask, but she could change it during scenes, like different colors and shit love that for her

it was amazing that this bitch managed to graduate with all the hours that she was pulling...lowkey would be proud when annoying frat boys that called her a ‘prude’ would talk about how much they wanted to fuck her

ANYWAYS she took her work with her when she moved back to new york mostly her work in the adult entertainment industry...but she continues to do porn and that’s where a big majority of her money comes from

that’s her secret lmaoooo she hasn’t told her family or even her friends because you know appearances

so when she’s not at the bakery during the day she’s usually filming a scene...and when she’s not around at night she’s stripping

* --- personality

PUBLIC LIFE

extremely sweet

literally doesn’t have a mean bone in her body...but not nice to the point where anyone’s suspicious...just nice enough to teeter that line a little bit

fun loving young girl, or at least she tries to be, she tends to let her emotions get the best of her tbh, but despite that she’s gentle and kind and would never hurt a fly if she could help it

she always gives everyone the benefit of the doubt, believing the best in everyone and always looking for the good, you could tell her a million and one bad things about someone and she’d still only care about the one positive aspect

noelle has the biggest heart, and often thinks she’s mislabeled as naive, although in reality she truly is and is often easily lead on

not gonna lie, noelle apologizes for just about everything, even if it isn’t her fault, bam there’s another apology coming out of her mouth

she’s sorta of the mom friend in a way? like she can barely take care of herself, but she literally tries to take care of every single person there is to ever exist

is resilient and to this day there isn’t a problem that she hasn’t overcome, even if she did have a little help from alcoholic beverages

lowkey a hopeless romantic??? like she’s the kind of girl who falls in love with strangers, or sees people in coffee shops and then envisions their wedding, she’s hopeless

SECRET LIFE

extremely outspoken

will fight for what she wants deadass she’ll punch you don’t play with her she doesn’t take shit from anybody

extremely comfortable with herself and her body and just embraces who she is i love that for her

she talks mad shit ngl but she’ll back that up with a punch dw

judgmental but like lowkey not about your looks or clothes or anything but she will talk about how you act and carry yourself since that’s important to her

ngl lowkey has this whole ass superiority complex

hella sociable, she loves meeting new people

sexual!1!1!1!

if you can’t tell she do be having anger issues

* --- wanted connections

don’t feel limited by this list, italics means i’m open to more than one

best friend / ride or die

roommates

basically her son

bad influences around each other

pr romance

little brother

step siblings / ex step siblings

pals

childhood & high school friends

awkward situation

frenemies

bad terms

FIRST LOVE THAT ABSOLUTELY DESTROYED HER

big heartbreak ex-fiance OR alternatively an annulled vegas marriage

will they ? have they ?

exes, on bad terms

exes, on good terms

skinny love

high school sweetheart

friends with benefits

one night stand

industry friends

* --- second biography?

noelle’s family seemed perfect one the outside but her father was a serial cheater, and her mother was a borderline alcoholic

they didn’t love her or her siblings so they often all fell to the wayside unless it was maintaining appearances in public, then it was all smiles, and how they lived by the word, a bunch of bs

noelle stopped believing in what her family force fed her early on...but she kept that shit to herself

the cooking and cleaning and literally every other responsibility fell upon noelle and her siblings, she sorta despised her parents, but still craved their validation, it was a really messed up cycle

all of her achievements are true tho! she got valedictorian, student council president, youngest person to win three gold medals, etc etc

her family really did get their own reality tv show, and put on extreme appearances for the cameras...and noelle was pushed to the wayside because middle child vibes again

she did go to Stanford for law...but let’s get into the main portion of her double life

she didn’t work a normal job! she wasn’t a waitress or a cook or even a dishwasher nope she did none of that shit

she became a stripper! but she couldn’t show everyone her face obviously...so she developed a plan!

she would go on stage in a really extravagant masquerade mask...like to the point where nothing was recognizable but her eyes

and that shit worked! she was a hit! an icon! people loved her...she made mad bank

well one day an agent approached her and was like...do you want to do porn? and this extra ass bitch said more money? hell yeah

the one condition she did have was obviously she kept the mask, but she could change it during scenes, like different colors and shit love that for her

it was amazing that this bitch managed to graduate with all the hours that she was pulling...lowkey would be proud when annoying frat boys that called her a ‘prude’ would talk about how much they wanted to fuck her

ANYWAYS she took her work with her when she moved back to new york mostly her work in the adult entertainment industry...but she continues to strip and that’s where a big majority of her money comes from

that’s her secret lmaoooo she hasn’t told her family or even her friends because you know appearances

so when she’s not at the bakery during the day she’s usually filming a scene...and when she’s not around at night she’s stripping

* --- personality

PUBLIC LIFE

extremely sweet

literally doesn’t have a mean bone in her body...but not nice to the point where anyone’s suspicious...just nice enough to teeter that line a little bit

fun loving young girl, or at least she tries to be, she tends to let her emotions get the best of her tbh, but despite that she’s gentle and kind and would never hurt a fly if she could help it

she always gives everyone the benefit of the doubt, believing the best in everyone and always looking for the good, you could tell her a million and one bad things about someone and she’d still only care about the one positive aspect

noelle has the biggest heart, and often thinks she’s mislabeled as naive, although in reality she truly is and is often easily lead on

not gonna lie, noelle apologizes for just about everything, even if it isn’t her fault, bam there’s another apology coming out of her mouth

she’s sorta of the mom friend in a way? like she can barely take care of herself, but she literally tries to take care of every single person there is to ever exist

is resilient and to this day there isn’t a problem that she hasn’t overcome, even if she did have a little help from alcoholic beverages

lowkey a hopeless romantic??? like she’s the kind of girl who falls in love with strangers, or sees people in coffee shops and then envisions their wedding, she’s hopeless

SECRET LIFE

extremely outspoken

will fight for what she wants deadass she’ll punch you don’t play with her she doesn’t take shit from anybody

extremely comfortable with herself and her body and just embraces who she is i love that for her

she talks mad shit ngl but she’ll back that up with a punch dw

judgmental but like lowkey not about your looks or clothes or anything but she will talk about how you act and carry yourself since that’s important to her

ngl lowkey has this whole ass superiority complex

hella sociable, she loves meeting new people

sexual!1!1!1!

if you can’t tell she do be having anger issues

* --- headcanons

...i’m gonna update this as soon as possible but i wanna plot already soooooooo

* --- wanted connections

don’t feel limited by this list, italics means i’m open to more than one

best friend / ride or die

roommates

basically her son

bad influences around each other

pr romance

little brother

step siblings / ex step siblings

pals

childhood & high school friends

awkward situation

frenemies

bad terms

FIRST LOVE THAT ABSOLUTELY DESTROYED HER

big heartbreak ex-fiance OR alternatively an annulled vegas marriage

will they ? have they ?

exes, on bad terms

exes, on good terms

skinny love

high school sweetheart

friends with benefits

one night stand

industry friends

[wrestlingisfake]

Bound for Glory preview

Eric Young vs. Rich Swann - Young is defending the Impact Wrestling world championship.  This is only Swann’s second match since suffering a legit knee injury in January.  He returned to the ring for  a five-way title match at Slammiversary on July 18, where he eliminated Young.  Eric “reinjured” Swann’s leg to cost him that match; when Swann was forced to “retire” on August 4, Young assaulted him again.  Since then Young has gone on to win the world title, while Swann has been doing a whole “come out of retirement for revenge” storyline.

It’s funny to think about how these guys are headlining this show, considering that most fans would probably remember them best for being lost in the shuffle at WWE.  But this is Impact’s level, and it has been for years.  Just because these guys would be working a dark match on Smackdown doesn’t mean they can’t have a compelling main event here in a much smaller pond.

The basic “Rocky movie” approach to booking this feud would be to have Swann overcome adversity to conquer his most dangerous rival and finally win the big one.  But Impact has a long history of trying to outthink that logic, and I have a long memory of them swerving away from big coronation moments.  It was only a few months ago, in fact, that they were building up Ace Austin for an inevitable run on top, and then they just...didn’t do that.  So Swann might win, or they might tell a story that he has a lot of ring rust to shake off before he beat Young.  Nevertheless, my gut still says Swann wins the title here.

Alex Shelley & Chris Sabin vs. Doc Gallows & Karl Anderson vs. Ethan Page & Josh Alexander vs. Ace Austin & Madman Fulton - This is a four-way match for the Impact tag team title, currently held by the Motor City Machine Guns (Shelly and Sabin).  Per standard four-way rules, the only way to win is by pinfall or submission, and the first man to score a fall on any opponent wins the match and the title for his team.

The North (Page and Alexander) held the title for just over a full year as various other teams broke up or drifted away from Impact, so they got to be able to say they cleaned out the division.  Then Sabin and Shelley came in as the wily veterans to get a big push (which is sort of ironic when you consider their history with this company).  Austin and Fulton came together earlier this year as a “rising top heel and his enforcer” act, but they ended up as a tag team when they began feuding with the Good Brothers (Gallows and Anderson).  All along, there’s been a sense that the Machine Guns are just keeping the titles warm until they put over the Good Brothers.

I could see any of these teams getting the title, but it’s pretty clear Gallows and Anderson are top attractions in this company, so one way or another the title picture is going to revolve around them.  One interesting wrinkle is that the Good Brothers plan to work for both Impact and New Japan, and New Japan has a tag team tournament coming up, leading into their biggest show of the year.  If I’m Don Callis, I want to send Gallows and Anderson to Japan for a couple of months to soak up that exposure, and I’d want them do it while wearing Impact title belts.  I’m probably getting ahead of myself with that speculation, but since I’ve got no other clear way to pick a winner, I’ll let that be why I’m going with Doc and Karl.

Deonna Purrazzo vs. Kylie Rae - Purrazzo is defending the Impact women’s title.  Kylie earned this title shot by winning a battle royale on July 18, the same night Purrazzo won the championship.  Since then Kylie has won the Warrior Wrestling women’s title, but that belt isn’t at stake here.

It was just about a year ago that Kylie debuted here, coming off a surprisingly abrupt exit from AEW.  It’s always felt like Impact wanted to do a slow build to her as the face of the women’s division.  And yet, Impact has also given Purrazzo a strong push since her debut in May.  Each of them would be my pick to win against any other woman in the company right now.  But against one another, it’s real tough to choose.  Feels like almost every match on this card is a pick-’em, which is a good thing.

I’m gonna go with Kylie to win just because she makes me happy.

EC3 vs. Moose - Moose has spent most of the year as the self-proclaimed “TNA world champion,” but EC3 stole his belt and I’m not sure what happened to it and I’m not sure either guy still cares about it at this point.  EC3 gained his widest exposure to fans in his NXT/WWE run, but Impact viewers know he really made his name in this promotion, back when it was called TNA.  “EC3” literally stands for “Ethan Carter III,” from when his gimmick was that he was the (kayfabe) nephew of longtime TNA owner Dixie Carter.

The story is that after EC3 was laid off from WWE, he decided he had to exorcise his old failures, which I guess are symbolized by Moose carrying around the belt he once held.  So EC3 started interfering in Moose matches and stalking him and playing cryptic videos for him and other weird stuff.  This has been going on since July but EC3 has yet to wrestle for Impact in all that time.  Aside from a couple of indie shows, and some ROH stuff that hasn’t aired yet, this will be his first match in 2020.

Back in July I assumed that EC3 would sign with Impact.  Then when I heard he was doing stuff with ROH, I figured it was a side project before he fully committed to Impact.  But after three months with no Impact matches, I’m starting to wonder if his Impact deal is a one-and-done.  Actually, the fact I’m wondering that helps the match, since if I was sure he was sticking around, it’d be super obvious that he has to beat Moose.  As it is, I’m still leaning toward EC3 winning, but that little doubt in my head will keep it interesting.

Eddie Edwards vs. Ken Shamrock - I lost the plot on this one, but as I recall Edwards had a vicious feud with Sami Callihan in 2018, and then Shamrock had a vicious feud with Callihan earlier this year, and now Shamrock and Callihan both hate Edwards for some reason.  Incidentally Shamrock is being inducted into Impact’s hall of fame this weekend, so it’s kind of weird that they decided now is the time to turn him heel.

I think the easiest way to sum both of these guys up is that neither of them knows when to quit.  They both look grizzled and stopped-giving-a-fuck, which makes them scary in the way that convicts in movies seem scary.  Now that I think about it, I’m surprised it took so long for this match to happen.

The x-factor here is Callihan, who will undoubtedly be interfering on behalf of Shamrock.  I don’t know who the hell Eddie can get to counteract that; usually when he needs backup it ends up being his wife Alisha, which works better than you might expect but still not all that well.  I guess if Davey Richards was going to return, this would be a cool way to set it up.  But failing that, I don’t think Eddie can win this match.

Rohit Raju vs. Chris Bey vs. TJP vs. Jordynne Grace vs. Trey Miguel vs. Willie Mack - Raju’s “X division” title is on the line.  This is being billed as a “six-way scramble match.”  I tend to think that’s just a cute name for a standard six-way match, where whoever scores the first fall on any opponent wins the match and the title.  Of course, in WWE a “scramble match” was a specific stipulation where whoever scores the last fall in a specified time period is the winner.  But I think if Impact was trying to bring those rules back, they’d have made a bigger deal about it, and I would have heard something about it by now.

The backstory here is that Bey was getting a big push and beat Mack for the title, and Raju started lobbying to be his henchman.  This led to Bey vs. Raju vs. TJP, with the idea that Raju would help Bey against TJP, but Raju went into business for himself and won the title.  So now everybody is gunning for Raju, including Trey for some reason I forget, and I think Grace just got thrown in there to make it more interesting.  Basically, Raju was a prelim guy before any of this happened, and he’d be the underdog against any of these opponents, so you’re supposed to think he’s doomed in a match against all of them.

I’m a tad surprised Grace is involved, because it wasn’t all that long ago that it was Tessa Blanchard as the woman chasing the X title, and then the world title, and that didn’t work out so well.  Then again, Tessa’s gender was hardly the reason that run fell apart, so maybe Impact is determined to do it again until they get it right.  Thing is, if you want to seriously present a woman winning a men’s championship, you want the champion that puts her over to be stronger than Rohit Raju.  So if they’re gonna do it, I’d say they should do it later, with Grace challenging one of the other guys for the title one-on-one.

Anyone could win this match, but it’s a real old trick to have the most hated heel be the biggest underdog, and then he steals a win after his opponents destroy each other.  So I’m going with Rohit to retain.

20-person “Call Your Shot” gauntlet match - This is a timed interval gauntlet match, similar to WWE’s Royal Rumble.  Two participants start the match, and each additional participant enters at regular intervals.  (I don’t think they’ve said how long the intervals are, but I’m guessing 90 seconds or two minutes or something.)  For most of the match, a competitor can only be eliminated by leaving the ring over the top rope and placing both feet on the floor; however, once all but two wrestlers are eliminated, the rules change so they can only lose by pinfall or submission.  The last person left in the match is the winner and earns the right to a title match against the champion of their choice.

So far Impact has confirmed eleven participants, seven men and four women:

Acey Romero, of the XXXL tag team

Alisha Edwards, whose last singles victory in this company was in 2018 against AEW’s Rebel/Reba

Brian Myers, formerly known as Curt Hawkins in WWE

Havok, aka Jessicka Havok in the indies

Heath, formerly Heath Slater in WWE, with the gimmick that he hasn’t yet secured a contract to work for Impact

Hernandez, once a rising star in TNA, now some sleazy guy backstage with a giant wad of cash

Larry D, Romero’s partner in XXXL

Rhino, the former ECW/WWE star who’s been trying to help Heath get signed

Taya Valkyrie, probably best known from AAA and Lucha Underground

Tenille Dashwood, formerly Emma in NXT and WWE

Tommy Dreamer, the ECW legend, who has been feuding with Myers

The order of entry is supposed to be random, but the results of an October 20 match slotted Hernandez as the last entrant and Rhino as the first.  The added stipulation for Rhino and Heath is that their jobs are on the line: If either of them wins, Rhino stays and Heath is signed, but if neither of them win, Rhino is fired and Heath can’t keep coming around asking for work.

It feels like this match has to end with Rhino or Heath winning, to pay off that storyline.  In fact, I could easily see it being a deal where one appears to be eliminated, and hides off-camera until the other is thrown out, and then Josh Matthews can play Michael Cole being all shocked that there’s still hope.  It feels so obvious that I’ve seen speculation that Heath needs to turn on Rhino right after one of them wins, to keep it interesting.  But I think we’re all overlooking the alternative, where they’re both kicked out of the company but nevertheless keep appearing in comedy skits for weeks until they get some other chance to earn contracts.  Personally, I’d just keep it simple and have Heath win leading to Heath and Rhino challenging for the tag title.

Dez & Wentz vs. Cody Deaner & Cousin Jake - This is being advertised for the pre-show.  Dez (Desmond Xavier) and Wentz (Zachary Wentz) are, along with Trey Miguel, the stoner team of the Rascalz.  Cody Deaner has been Impact’s resident redneck good-ol’ boy on and off for years.  Jake is better known on the indie scene as Jake Something, the current Black Label Pro champion.  Between the two teams, I think Impact is more committed to pushing the Rascalz, but this is another one where it could really go either way.  This whole show has been really hard to predict.  Let’s hope it still seems unpredictable after it’s over.

[venus-says]

Kamen Rider OOO Episodes 01-16

I never expected a show aimed at boys would have THIS many scenes centered around male underwear.

The second series on my "watch all of kamen rider" madness! Yay!

The first word that comes to my mind when it comes to OOO is: weird. But it's not weird in a bad way, for the most of it anyway. I'll try best to not make many comparisons to either W or Zero-One, but just as a point of reference for this first statement, I'll mention them for a minute. W and Zero-One touch bases that I'm familiar with (detective stories, futuristic settings, etc.) while OOO is somewhat completely new to me so most of the time I wasn't ready for some of the things that were happening. But like I said, this is a good thing. I really enjoyed watching this first part, it had a few stumbles, but overall it was a great experience. To bring the comparison again, I didn't enjoy it as much as W's first part but I enjoyed it more than I'm enjoying this first third of Zero-One.

The plot of this season is quite interesting, it reminds me of Doki Doki Precure at some points (you can really draw the parallel of selfishness and altruism in both shows), though I wish some things had been established sooner and I feel like the thing with the core medals is a bit confusing, the plot is very engaging. They took a page from W's book, and most of the "weekly cases" are dealt in two episodes, but they also improve in this formula because even in the MOTW plots we can see the overall arc being formed and no episode was left without a hook for the next what makes the whole experience way better and more interesting to follow. If I was watching this weekly this structure would definitely make me excited to always get back to this season, and watching it now after the show is over makes me want to binge-watch everything in one sitting even though that's impossible. So, great stuff.

If there are things I don't like about the plot and the structure it would be, the weird commercial breaks, some of the weekly stories have characters that make them very weak, the many antagonist forces that make things feel overcrowded at times, and a problem I have with most shows when a new hero is about to come in that is when the show makes the protagonists weaker/less effective just to highlight how good the new member of the cast is. But that aside, I pretty much like everything. The comedy, the absurdness, the drama, and the action have had a very good balance so far so OOOs hold many positive points to its name.

Talking about characters, our main protagonist this time, Eiji, while not as charismatic as I would like is still a sweetheart. His lifestyle is a bit questionable, and he has a bit of the Aida Mana syndrome where he gives himself way too much sometimes, also the show doesn't make a good job on keeping his clothes on brand - I mean the dude apparently has only two underwear and one pair of pants but somehow he has many top options and we never know where he keeps all those shirts and tunics - but I really like him. I think what I like the most about him is that at first glance he could seem like the standard "dumb protagonist" but he's actually pretty smart and his smartness doesn't affect his emotional drive which is great.

Sadly his partners on the good side aren't as good. Ankh has a very difficult personality which makes him VERY hard to like, every time he opens up his mouth to babble about his medals I just wanna shove 30 popsicles on his mouth to make him shut up. My biggest problem with him is that we haven't seen him change not even for a bit in all of these episodes and I'm afraid that when they decide to make an emotional climax with him it won't work as well and it'll just ruin what could be a strong moment. Though I love how Eiji knows exactly how to keep him in check, that's another sign of how great Eiji is. Accompanying Ankh we have Hina who's just boring as hell, I don't know if this is a problem of the character or the actress but she really bores me to death, not even her quirk of being insanely strong that could be very fun works with me, which's a shame. And the last character of this group is the owner of Cous Coussier that is a very good minor character that helps to make Ankh and Hina bearable sometimes.

Moving to the antagonists, the GREED are the typical villainous team so I don't have a lot to say about them, their designs are cool and I like that each one has a very strong personality trait and their greediness makes for a very interesting plot point when Kazari decides to betray them. The MOTW are weird as hell, I'm very grossed out every time that coin slot appear on people, but I like that there are different types of them each one works on a different way and it is quite interesting to see how each type feeds on the desires of the population, my favorites are the parasite type and the Mezools' ones. It makes me sad that apparently Mezool and Gamel were the first ones to be defeated because they're my favorites, I think the group has lost a lot from their defeat.

The next antagonists are the Kougami Foundation, and I really love them. Kousei is just as charismatic (or maybe even more) charismatic as Ryuubei was and watching him is a true joy. Maybe it's just my love for baking that draws me to him, but I really think he's a great bad guy. Another great asset Kougami has is the secretary, I don't remember her name but the fact she seems completely apathetic to everything that goes on in that company to me is just hilarious, I'd love to be her friend (I'm sure she's amazing at throwing shade). The weakest link of this company is without a doubt Gotou, he severely lacks in personality and his turmoil of not thinking Eiji is suitable to be Os just because he's jealous since he wants to be the savior of the world makes him sound like an immature kid rather than an interesting character.

Coming as the (unnecessary) third antagonist we have Professor Maki who just makes me want to bang my head against a concrete wall. Like, I really don't know WHY they had to make him a villain, he makes me have war flashbacks of W when they changed the role of final villains from the Sonozaki family to that very boring, soulless guy from Foundation X. And it makes me even madder that they did this change WHEN THEY HAVE A PERFECT SET OF VILLAINS ALREADY IN GREED AND KOUGAMI. All this guy has going for him is that creepy ass doll that will definitely give me nightmares, but other than that he's just completely uninteresting.

Talking about riders, when I saw it on W's movie I really wasn't into Os design, but now I've grown used to it. The medals gimmick is also pretty fun and it gives a good variety of forms the main rider can have, though I think this thing of each Greed having 9 core medals is more complicated than it needed to be, and I really dislike how arbitrary the system of getting core medals from the Greed/O's seem to be, it's also very hard to keep track of who has each medal with how easy the lose and get new ones. I really like the gadgets from this season, I love the idea of everything being on a vending machine, the bike looks really cool, and I LOVE the candroids to death, I'd love to buy a few of them if I wasn't so broke. XD On the other hand, the transformation belt I horrendous, and not even the "sixth ranger" could save it this time because that gashapon belt is just hilarious and I can't take it seriously.

And speaking of said "sixth ranger" here's probably the element I hated the most from these sixteen episodes. Much likely Doki Doki precure, they pulled a Regina/Cure Ace thing where they build-up for Gotou to be the new rider, but comes episode 16 and Kamen Rider Birth is actually A DIFFERENT COMPLETELY NEW GUY. Do I like Gotou or his "arc" that would lead to his possible transformation? Absolutely no. But having that would've been way better than seeing an unknown guy, who came out of the ether, become the new rider. I REALLY hate new members who come out of nowhere, and to top it off the milkshake of hate they made this new guy steal that spotlight of a guy they had been building up for at least 4 episodes prior.

I usually ended these with specific points of specific episodes, but I really covered everything I had to say and If I went on each episode it would be to just point out a few unnecessary nitpicks, so I'll skip doing it this time. I hate to end on such a salty note, especially considering that I genuinely like this show so far, but there was no way to escape from it, I'll try to watch fewer videos of the NerdECrafter before I write next week's post to see if I come here with less salt in my veins, I promise. XD

And these were my first impressions of OOO, thanks for sticking with me for another week and I'll hopefully see you, folks, very soon. Bye bye~.

[codenamesazanka]

Forgive this, but I gotta rant!

I don’t really like Deku! I feel his character has unutilized potential - or, rather, the character he is supposed to be isn’t the character he is. Of course, this is my opinion.

But yeah! I get it - he wants to be a Hero, he wants to ‘save people with a smile on his face’, but he’s quirkless. Still, supposedly he had this great determination and heroic qualities even before meeting All Might - his hero analyses, him applying to UA... which really means nothing. And that’s all he did.

Sure, he’s a kid, he’s 14, give him a break, but there was so much he could’ve done!!! Learn first aid(!), learn self defense, volunteer, community service, all that. He’s said to be smart, sure, but even better way to show this is to have him realized or had planned for his future Hero career by gaining supplement skills before he ever applied to UA. I really really wish we could’ve seen the UA kids learn first aid.

Biggest problem I have - though, granted, this is brought up in the story - is that everyone still thinks being a Hero is punching bad guys, when it should mean helping people. And yeah, it’s not just Deku, but he’s supposed to be so different All Might thought he should be his successor. The scene where he saves Bakugou, honestly he was also standing in the crowd hoping for a Hero to come - its only when he realizes it’s his friend, that he says his body moved in its own. Which, true, is brave; but him helping a unlucky rando without a second thought might have been better. Have him Good Samaritan the heck out of strangers.

It’s just, the story makes him out to be so kind and gentle and self-sacrificing, and yeah, I can see the times where those shine through; but I also am reminded of that time he heard Todoroki’s family life and decided the appropriate response is to focus on their upcoming match, and when he helps out Bakugou and Eri, it’s because it was relevant to him (recognizing Overhaul in the latter case). Sure, it’s just how stories and plot conveniences are - but there should be other times too for randos; just like two panels of it at the beginning of the chapter.

(Which is why I like the protag from Vigilante much better! In his spare him he just decides to pick up litter and help ppl in small ways, to destress! Yes! He missed his high school entrance exam saving a stranger from drowning! He’s got his flaws, he’s not pure heroic either, but he’s much more aware of his to help people than Deku)

The base for his character was Jack Midoriya from the oneshot My Hero; but Jack fitted well for his story. Iirc, He didn’t want to be the greatest hero ever, he didn’t even really wanted to save everyone really - he just wanted to be a ‘hero’ and help out. At least that’s more honest. He couldn’t be a hero tho, but he showed initiative in trying to get as close as he could to it - working for a support item company to get his hands in support items to be a hero with, going vigilante. But transplant that character to BnHA then try to say Deku is selfless and kind and determined from the get go is a bit of a mistake.

He’s also really not that smart. You know who’s really smart? Shigaraki Tomura!!! Hero analyses, sure, but besides brief tactical brains when relevant to plot, most of his fights is just punching. IIRC.

And why did he care so much about Kouta not liking Heroes? Leave the kid alone, let him hate cops if he wants

*

(Another pet peeve - the fandom’s focus on his quirklessness and how he meant he suffered great discrimination. He was obviously bullied for it, and I don’t doubt there is discrimination for quirkless people - but I don’t think it’s as bad as others make it out to be. I’m ready to eat my words, but I just don’t feel the story supports this - but again, it could be fault of the creator for now showing.

Like, just looking at him doesn’t tell you he’s quirkless. There’s no visible marker of it. He’s not gonna be called a ‘mutt’ or ‘dumb lizard man’ at first glance. Appearance-wise, he’s still the ‘norm’ in the universe - no appendages, no physical transformation.

Besides that, there a lot of people with ‘useless quirks’ - quirks that don’t do much at all, factor very little into their everyday life or skills. This is a superpowered society, sure, but it’s one where people are forbidden to use quirks unless licensed and where you still need boring old accountants and taxi drivers and real estate agents and busboys. These jobs don’t require quirks.

Instead, often we see it’s that people with the more ‘unheroic’ quirks that gets the short end of the stick. Mutant discrimination, quirks that can easily harm people if not very careful, quirks that violate human taboos (like blood drinking). I think, yeah, there is a hierarchy of valuing people for their quirks, definitely, but it’s not a clear hierarchy with quirkless people at the bottom. I do wish we see more quirkless people doing stuff!! But honestly I think there’s very little difference between someone quirkless and someone who has ‘bendy fingers’ (David Shield) for a quirk.)

*

Moreover - tho this is more the fault of the author I guess? - is that only according to genre and story conventions do we know Deku and Shigaraki will duke it out, or otherwise confront each other. There’s very very little interaction between the two beyond their actions effecting each other (and not on purpose, it just so happens because they’re on hero and villain sides). Their goals don’t even factor each other in beyond the vague

There’s still ample time for Deku to find out more about Shigaraki but the idea of Deku extending a hand to help Shigaraki is kinda laughable right now. Honestly Bakugou and Shigaraki had better connection and potential; for one, one of Shigaraki’s schemes was all to capture Bakugou and recruit him; for another, Bakugou learning that being a Hero isn’t punching out bad guys and having to save people’s hearts is an actual, interesting storyline that develops both characters, IMO.

All Might reaching out to Shigaraki and redeeming/ trying to redeem him? I’ll accept because I love whacked up Shimura family drama! The connection between the two, AFO’s meddling with them both, all that buried history and mystery to uncover, all those emotions of hatred and guilt, and the emotional consequences of Shigaraki getting incarcerated or executed for his crimes and All Might willing to try his hardest to prevent that / soften that for him, which contradicts his supposedly heroic and impartial justice law-abiding gimmick; and the fate of the story and effects on society resting absurdly on how their relationship turns out, bringing up questions about sacrifice and familial duty and justice - yes, absolutely!!!

Deku saving Shigaraki? :/ nothing to back that for now, still.

Petty, but it’s partly why I don’t wanna see allying-with-the-heroes-type-redemption for Shigaraki if it means Deku helping him lmao. Anyone else who’s relevant, sure! Fucking Gran Torino could work.

[thatdarnblogagain]

Pro Wrestling and Sexuality

Perusing the YouTube landscape and looking for different content I revisited the Fight For The Fallen PPV, Pre-Show which was put on by All Elite Wrestling. Many things can be lobbied for and against that portion of the PPV. Production could have been better in spots, is one that was common and there were some noticeable botches in the women’s tag team match but on the other hand new faces were shown to the wrestling fandom in attendance and for the most part were well received with the time they had.

However there were comments that kept popping up that could be seen as derogatory or simply rude to one performer in particular, Sonny Kiss. Now Sonny is a wrestler, of course, who in my opinion is quite talented though he has room to grow, like many wrestlers do but he also comes with a caveat.

(Sonny has performed for Lucha Underground & Capitol Wrestling as well.)

Sonny is an openly gay man who is rather effeminate in his mannerisms and apparel. This has garnered comments such as: “AEW trying to pander to the SJW/LGBT Agenda”, “Get that thing off my tv”, “AEW is a joke for employing this thing”, “Gays should not be wrestling” and more of that sort of thing.

Some of the comments can range from objective views to hysterical rants and honestly freedom of speech exists so I am not here to denounce anyone for their views. I am not here to force anything but merely share.

LGBT performers or figures have been a part of the wrestling landscape for a while now; from the likes of Pat Patterson, Jim Barnett and Sandy Parker in the past to Darren Young, Matt Cage, Sonya Deville and Sonny Kiss.

(Sonya is a huge LGBT Advocate & openly lesbian wrestler with the WWE.)

Cage, Young and the tragic case of Chris Kanyon (who came out only a year before he was found dead in his home) could be seen as the typical male wrestler. They do/did not wear their sexuality on their sleeves so to speak. Is that wrong or right of them? That is up to them to decide whether they wish for us as an audience to see that part of themselves.

Orlando Jordan, a bisexual wrestler, during his time in WWE could also be seen as a run of the mill sort of wrestler but with his time in TNA and after that, his sexuality started to make more of an appearance during his matches or promos.

Not to the level of Sonny but enough to raise an eyebrow. Was that wrong of him? Again that is up to him. Sonya Deville incorporates some signs to her sexuality, such as the rainbow flag she had in her back pocket in one PPV match and she is quite open about her same sex relationship on social media.

( One of Sonya’s ring outfits in her time with WWE. Subtle colors but there. )

Sonny however, is a different case. He does not hide himself, like Canyon or Pat had to before finally coming out. Watching some of his matches from years gone by and seeing how audiences reacted to a young, black man in a black leotard shows the journey Sonny took to hone his craft while sticking to who he was.

The image of an older man slapping a young boy’s hand away from touching Sonny’s as he passed by is one I still see. It parallels a comment I saw on YouTube of a parent saying they could not stomach seeing Sonny wrestle due to his actions and way of dressing, especially not with their son watching. Do I think that parent is wrong? Of course not. They are entitled to that opinion and what they let their children watch.

(Sonny discussing his signing with AEW)

Is it right of Sonny to share with us who he is? That is up to him because he is the one taking the risk of being rejected and insulted. We as fans are in a strange position of so many performers appearing with truly unique gimmicks, some that are literally just the performer being them. Comments such as, “Men should be men.”, “Get that queer out of here.”, and  “He can’t wrestle either.” are strange to stomach. Why?

Pro Wrestling is a career and such pursuits are not limited to one gender, race or sexuality for the most part. Think of it like this. Would you tell someone serving you food, or a police woman trying to assist you, to get someone else because they were of a particular race or noticeable sexuality? That question is for you to answer. I’ll add another question to that list. Would we want it done to us?

The thing is, at its very core, Pro-Wrestling has undertones of homo-eroticism. Men or women performing holds, grabs, pins and locks on one another in skin tight outfits may not be enough evidence for some to think so but imagine the following statement. “A  sweat covered man takes another man up by his hips or rear and shoves the latter’s crotch into his face, holding it there for a few seconds before they both crash into the mat below”. That is me describing the staple wrestling move, the power bomb. That is only one move of several that can seem sexual in pro wrestling with no context.

(Really does not help that his nickname used to be sexual chocolate.)

However! I know people may say the issue with Sonny is not so much his wrestling because as I said, he is quite good but instead it may be his presentation. There is no wrestler in the mainstream quite like him. His outfit is quite revealing for a man as his trunks are like those of a female wrestler instead of male and his top is that of crop top/mid-riff. He also does antics that we attribute to women, like twerking so as I said, he is quite effeminate.

I can understand the issue of these things but then I bring across the question. Is it that we hate the antics or that they are being done by someone of the opposite sex to we are accustomed to seeing do them? If Naomi of WWE acclaim was to do the same things, would we be upset? Perhaps the issue is that Sonny makes us question this passion of ours that we call pro wrestling. Makes us see things in it that we never realized or pushed aside.

(Is it a Tombstone or a Karma Sutra position? You are going to check huh?)

Some folks are simply homophobic and no amount of reverse psychology on their part can hide that. Saying,  That is to be expected. Some folks are misinformed and others have valid reasons such as not being homophobic but not being a fan of Sonny’s style of wrestling or presentation either.

We may be accustomed to men in wrestling being hyper masculine or at least masculine in their portrayal even if they are not like that in their everyday lives. The thing is, as Sonny has pointed out, his character is him just slightly turned up. So are we asking him to not be himself? I doubt many of us would let anyone tell us to not be who we are.

Are we saying in order to be allowed to partake in a career of pro wrestling one must fall in line and be the same type of character? With the wide plethora of wrestlers we have that seems an impossibility. So is denying him the right to partake in a career he trained for and is quite good at, the correct thing?

I don’t think anyone who is qualified for a job should be denied on grounds of their sexuality. This article is not force anyone to change or asking anyone to change, only asking us to ask questions of ourselves.

[sheisbornadreamer]

Blend in, chapter ten

...chapter ten?!

WARNINGS: No fluff in this chapter whatsoever, not even any cold-hearted intercourse alright, so just wipe all of those expectations away. There you go :) Plus this chapter is very short. And I suck.

Sorry.

But! Hopefully, a lot of things will get cleared up :)

...just read!

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Saturday, 10.48 AM Tachikawa's residence

"-and I bought these two jeans -aren't they gorgeous- y'know the assistant said I look just like Misha Barton, hah I wish but whatever I mean her BMI is totally anorexic and that's great and all if you wanna like, die, though you can't deny that she's freakin gorgeous I'd totally die for those legs wouldn't you -look aren't they cute!"

"Mmh," Sora's eyes submissively fell on the jeans covering her friend's legs, but her mind couldn't tear itself away from her new full-time dilemma. This was hardly ever a problem for the two; to Mimi Sora was merely a mirror -or a wall, rather. She didn't interrupt, but she didn't respond with any interest whatsoever. Except perhaps for the actual changing.

Mimi kept chatting, modelling her new clothes and checking her reflection in the mirror. Sora's eyes kept resting on her legs -covered in denim, half covered by a pastel skirt, or not covered at all. She had legs to kill for; always perfectly tanned, constantly hairless and never-ending. Legs of another species that yet remained the ideal for all the poor girls with earthly legs. Thankfully, Sora had stopped comparing herself to her best friend a long time ago, figuring that it was no use.

"So are you actually gonna talk to me about what's causing that creepy absence I've seen in you lately?"

It wasn't the actual words that pulled her out of trance; it was the tone. The skip from high-pitched excited girl-chatter, to worried sentimental adult mom -tone wouldn't pass anyone.

Sora reacted quickly enough to catch the question, and she bit the inside of her cheek as she pondered an answer. Bringing Mimi into the problem was like letting someone else help you with a card castle you're halfway through, but stuck with and too shaky to continue. A bit down the road -which might as well be the goddamn wrong one- she didn't want to risk starting all over again. If Mimi managed to confuse the hell out of her -which rather commonly happened; she was freakishly alike Taichi in that way- Sora would lose the tiny bit of sense she'd made out so far. And dammit, that took a long time to make!

'Sides, there's was no way she'd be able to explain this complicated story with sustained patience -and that was very necessary for it to be understandable.

Having that thought through, she forced herself to look at it logically. Voicing her reasoning would simply clear it up, not destroy it. Who knows, Mimi might see something that Sora, as partly involved in the whole thing, was incapable of. In all honesty, Mimi's train of thought probably ran closer two Taichi's -maybe Yamato's too.

So why not?

"Taichi and Yamato," she uttered, not knowing where to start.

The currently halfnaked teen threw her arms out. "Yeah, well duh. So was that rumor true?"

"Well now it is. I kinda it woke up some sort of attraction, or feelings or just fucking madness in Blondie, and Tai pushed his luck some and now they're shagging like rabbits while Yamato is brainwashing him."

There was a brief silence where Sora's stubborn self mentally said 'I told you so'.

"That didn't make much sense coming from someone who's usually very pedagogic."

Sora managed to smile, somewhat relieved by the refreshing view of Mimi laughing. In comparison, she felt old and worn-out. Why the football-player even allowed something that hardly concerned her get to her like this, she didn't know. Sora sighed, deciding to throw everything out of her skull for the other girl to sort out.

She comforted herself with the knowledge that, when it came down to gossip, Mimi had all the patience in the world. She started talking, trying to stay as objective as possible. Naturally, it was near impossible with Mimi's repeated gasps and questions and other interrupting sounds that she seemingly thought were necessary to show Sora that she really listened. Letting herself get stressed up by this, Sora ended up giving her the completely wrong idea. This was obvious when Mimi summed the whole thing up.

-'-

"Okay so if I've got this straight, Yamato-kun was stupid enough to talk loudly and about their after-school activity, with so many split signals that everyone mistook him for being gay, and then he freaked out and started fighting Taichi-kun for no reason. Then they shag in the school's bathroom and start bitching when you try to save them from being caught-"

"No, no, no" Sora interrupted, sighed and held up a hand when the honey-eyed girl gave her a confused look. "No, I'm sorry, I'm giving you the wrong idea here. I guess I'm just so fed up with Yamato -well, Taichi too- that I make it their fault. Just please let me take my time, so that I can do this right."

If it weren't for the fact that they had worked this through once, Mimi would've taken Sora's request -if she even took it in- the wrong way, and jumped to conclusions. But the brunet's way of rushing and misleading had in the past bothered Sora to the point that she had talked to her about it. Mimi had finally understood the problem and promised to improve -when she actually remembered. Now, Sora could simply remind her and she'd be back on track with no hard feelings. This was one of the improvements they'd been forced to accomplish since that time when their lives took a slight turn.

"Sorry" Mimi said with a small laugh, rolling her eyes at herself. Sora smiled back, but shortly looked away to be able to continue. This was important.

Mimi staid amazingly quiet through Sora's second try of revealing Taichi and Yamato's story, and when she later summarized it to see if she'd got it right this time, Sora was introduced with a new point of view that made ten times more sense. Sure, Mimi was perhaps a little too romantic and naïve, but hearing everything from Sora who's the total opposite, she balanced it up, filled out the gaps and straightened all those things that had been invisible to the redhead.

"...so when Yamato's finally fed up with Taichi's immature behavior and mocking, he snaps and comes out and tells him-"

"-yeah, probably during that detention-"

"-or after they'd escaped. You know you're not supposed to talk during detention."

"Right"

"And Tai just... finally gets it?"

"He's not dumb. Not when it comes to Yamato; he's like a living lexicon."

"Not now though..."

"Stick to the subject!"

"Sorry."

"S'okay."

"So Taichi agrees to back off, and overdoes it to make Yamato miss him-"

"He really did, it showed. So yeah, Yamato misses him and finally asks him out!"

"...what?"

Sora hesitated. "Well, no... but it was so cute!" She grinned. "You were there, or at least after that. That Friday we went and saw The Holiday-"

"Yeah! Oh, Jude Law is so hot..."

"Hey!"

"For a guy at least."

"Heh. So they hang out Friday night, and there's surely tons of sexual tension and then they screw each other."

"It's called making love."

Sora snorted, causing Mimi to scowl even more. Which in turn caused Sora to grin wide. "Yeah, yeah, they make sweet love to each other. Yamato did want to though; he wasn't drunk or anything, just seduced. But he regrets it the next morning, throws Taichi out and asks me to come over. God, he was so messed up." Sora blinked, regaining the sympathy she'd felt for him that day.

"And then you leave, and... did they talk after that?"

"No idea. Maybe."

"They were even more awkward the Monday after that right?"

"Yep. And..." Sora frowned -ignoring Mimi's whining about wrinkles- trying to recall what else happened that day. "Oh!" she exclaimed, remembering. "That was when he hit him!"

"Ah." Mimi complied, also recalling that from Sora's story.

"I think Yamato was avoiding him, and Taichi got a bit annoyed I remember -he snapped a few times at me that day when I asked where Yamato was. Then boom! When I went to my locker at the end of the day Taichi's lying on the floor clutching his jaw and Yamato's a whiter shade of pale."

"And then they just forgive each other" Mimi filled in, smiling because she knew how much it had puzzled the redhead. "And they walk out together"

"Right, and this is the weird afternoon thing Tai told me about, when Yamato had nursed him and then took of as if a Scream-dude were chasing him-"

"-which confused the hell out of Taichi"

"Yup. Next day?"

"The avoiding-day. Yamato's fallen off the face of earth"

"Taichi's whining like never before-"

"And boom!"

"They make sweet tender love with each other," Sora teases.

Mimi shakes her head determinedly. "Nope. That's screwing. Calling it lovemaking would be an insult."

"Tai is walking on clouds."

"Yamato still avoids you guys."

"And here's where things gets really fucked up. Taichi becomes his personal slave, and Yamato has him all brainwashed."

"Taichi starts his too-happy gimmick -which, mind you, is a total give-away - and covers his master by constantly distracting you and himself."

"Gah, it's tiring just thinking about it..." Sora muttered, rubbing her eyes.

"Poor baby."

She stuck her tongue out in reply. "I'm up to here with his stupid jokes. And you know he actually talked about girls at one time!"

"So maybe he's bi?" Mimi offered, not seeing the issue.

"Fine, maybe he is. Doubt it though." Sora added, crossing her arms sullenly.

"Oh, come on! He's talked about girls plenty of times, and hasn't he even gone out with a few?"

Sora gave her a long look. "You believed that?"

Mimi shrugged. "Gotta give him some credit."

Sora snorted, then remembered the other ironic thing. "He also tried making me talk about guys!" she announced, sending the other teen a challenging gaze, as if daring her to brush that off just as easily.

A grin slowly spread over the other female's face, and the next second they were laughing their heads off.

"Okay, okay..." Sora eventually gasped between laughs, "We're loosing focus here."

Mimi nodded in agree, picking up where they left off. "This is the tricky part. You solve it by saying that Yamato's simply turned into a maniac all of a sudden,"

"Well he did! I mean first he's like 'no, I don't like him, don't like him' when he actually does and slips up when Tai decides to be all over him. That I can understand, but this on the other hand is madness!"

"Okay, don't hurt yourself. What's the reason Yamato has denied his feelings from the very start?"

Sora shrugged. "The gossip. He worries too much about other people's opinions."

"Right, and that's why he doesn't want Taichi to tell anyone."

"Yeah, well that I get-"

"So he uses the power of sex to keep Taichi quiet. No secret -no sex"

Sora threw her arms out impatiently. "Sure, that's-"

"-and if he would be the slightest bit of friendly, Taichi wouldn't take it that seriously." Mimi quickly pointed out.

"But I don't understand why he can't even kiss him!" Sora exclaimed, half aware that she was sounding like a little kid saying 'it's not fair!'

Dammit, it wasn't fair.

"I mean if this is a power method then he should reward him or lure him with-"

"Kisses?" Mimi filled in, raising perfect eyebrows.

"Tai's a kissing type of guy."

Sora couldn't help but wallowing in the irony. In one of her and Taichi's uncommonly intimate conversations the boy had admitted that he'd choose kissing over sex any day. On the other hand, by that time he was eleven and didn't know one bit about sex -not that much about kissing either. But Sora had a feeling this hasn't changed. She'd never heard him utter this ever since though, maybe -just maybe- because Sora had happily used this knowledge to throw in his face whenever she had the chance.

"I take your word for it" Mimi promised, knowing how close the two where. They probably told each other everything -or at least used to. She hesitated, catching the sudden sad look in her friend's eyes.

"...maybe Yamato doesn't find it that necessary, considering that Taichi's still under his spell -with or without kisses."

"Mm." Sora sighed, resting her forehead in her palm. "I know what you're saying, it's probably not that weird, but I mean even though it's just sex there should still be some sort of... okay, let's just say that Yamato's only interested in Taichi because he's a guy and close at hand. Wouldn't he still be interested in doing things to him? Doesn't have to be any feelings in that. And what about this control-thing? How fun is it to sneak around with someone, when you can't even let go while you're alone?"

Mimi remained quiet. She shook her head and sighed. "I don't know."

"Taichi didn't tell me a lot when I interrogated him, but what I did find out was that Yamato rushed through it, afraid to be caught by his dad -that's not blameable-, forbade kissing, never did anything to Tai, let Tai be the top-"

"That I find a bit weird." Mimi spoke up, pursing her lips as she pondered different possibilities.

"...maybe it's easier getting fucked by someone you hardly care about, than shoving your dick into someone you don't have feelings for." Sora suggested, wrinkling her nose slightly at her own words.

Mimi nodded thoughtfully, snickering a little when their eyes met. "Who would've thought we'd be discussing the mystery of sex between men?"

Sora chuckled, shaking her head. "Especially those two, who's been nothing but friends until now."

They were both quiet for a while.

"Alright," Sora sighed, breaking the tense silence. "Have we made any sense so far?"

"Sure, Blondie's afraid of the school finding out, of his dad finding out, of anyone finding out-"

"But what about the bathroom make-out?" Sora remarked, holding up a finger.

"Um... he's gay?" Mimi retorted, raising an eyebrow.

Sora bit her lip. "Yeah, but-"

"He's never had a girlfriend, probably never been interested in anyone and suddenly he's kissing someone and actually feels something, I mean he must've had a total black-out! After all, he's only human"

Sora surrendered, holding up her hands. "Okay, point taken"

"And all the avoiding was probably just to stop more rumors, and y'know, he's awkward around Tai because he's sexually attracted to him. And also because Taichi is too indiscreet."

Sora leaned back, smiling at the brunet. "This really is your area, huh?"

She was answered with a cheeky grin. "Sure is. And," she continued, finally realizing that she was still standing up and sat down on her bed beside Sora, crossing her legs. "I think the night before he really started to avoid you, was when he came out to himself!" She threw her arms out happily and Sora laughed. "He was like 'ok fine, I like guys. Now who should I have gay-sex with? Ah, here's my loyal friend who's open-minded slash gay as well, this'll be easy. But oh no! No one can find out! I know: I'll avoid him at school, and then I drag him home, make him my bitch and I have free afternoon sex everyday with no one bashing me!'"

"He's such a jerk." Sora grumbled. "I can't believe he actually pulls through it, I mean they used to be friends! Really good friends"

"Yeah, but he does avoid doing things that would make him feel guilty. If he'd use tricks and like pretended to care about him it would make him a bigger jerk. And he avoids him so he's not around to see how screwed up Taichi's become of this. And," she emphasized, catching the redhead's attention, "if he'd be the top, it would almost make this rape. He's planned this."

Sora stared at her, lost in that thought. "So..." she started hesitatingly, after what seemed like a small eternity. "There's still a small chance of him being human?"

Mimi tilted her head, eyelashes jumping as her gaze flicked around the room. For a moment her expression told Sora that she'd soon have the solution, but then the wise look was replaced by a playful glint. "Let's just say that, for now. Yamato still cares about Taichi, and the part of him that's not filled with hormones is full of shame and regret."

Sora, somewhat past the disappointment of not getting the answer to everything, nodded, accepting the theory. "Right."

"So just imagine being in his shoes; how freaking easy would it be to talk to your best friend that you're just using for your own pleasure? Or kiss? Being the one who fucks him, it... would just be too wrong. Or rather too obvious that it's wrong. Plus there's no wonder he's tense, and stressed and easily annoyed, and cold. He must hate himself!"

Sora held her hands up, chuckling. Mimi was getting a bit too into this. That girl watched way too many soap operas. "You're right, never thought I'd say this but it makes sense. But, if it's so clear that no feelings are involved, why don't they just enjoy it? As he's stated enough times, Tai only wants sex, and he's okay with Matt only wanting that too. So why would Matt feel guilty when he knows that it's not personal?"

Mimi shrugged. "Because they've fought so much, maybe, and it's still a bit weird screwing as friends."

"But they're not friends anymore" Sora commented, raising an eyebrow. Somehow she enjoyed criticizing her friend's casual reasoning.

"Like I said, if Yamato still cares about Taichi so it must feel wrong having such a platonic relationship"

"But Tai doesn't mind it, so there's no harm done"

"Right, but since they're not communicating -as I'm assuming, Yamato doesn't know how Taichi feels about this and hates himself in case he's hurting him and has to act cold not to break down and so they can't communicate and work things out and they'll just continue this. It's an evil circle." Mimi gestured enthusiastically.

Sora's eyes narrowed as she pondered the argument, not wanting to give in but she pretty much had to, didn't she? Mimi might be wrong, but she sure couldn't come up with anything better at the moment. Plus that evil circle thing really took a lot from her energy to continue this. Sora threw her hands up, deciding that this just wasn't her territory.

"Touché!" she called out, face breaking into a grin as the other girl threw her arms up victoriously.

"Now let's go shopping!" Mimi demanded happily, dragging Sora up from the bed and started skipping out of the room, grabbing her purse on the way.

"Wha..? I thought you've already went shopping?" Sora stuttered as she was dragged down the stairs, desperately trying to keep up with the steps.

"Well yeah for me, but we're shopping for you now!" the other girl replied perkily. She stopped at bottom and turned around, causing the slightly dizzy redhead to crash into her. Mimi pushed the other girl's shoulders an arms length away, locking determined eyes with distracted ones. "We're going shopping, and you're not going to puzzle Dumb & Dumber's problem -which by the way doesn't even involve you- one more time, got it?"

Whether she would keep that up or not, Sora was fully aware of that Mimi accepted no other answer than yes. Thus, she saluted.

"Yes ma'am"

As they walked out the door arm in arm, Sora sincerely hoped that she would keep that promise.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

will be continued.

[shootstraight-nevermiss]

Task 001: Lagos

@sgt-barnes, @logan-t78a

Trigger Warnings: Blood, Gore, Murder

Transcript of Mission below:

Bucky: James tightened his grip around the shield's leather handles. This was it. This was going to end today or never. They had everything they needed. Sin's intel about Zemo's course of actions and locations and some other agents Bucky might have bullied. He still wasn't sure if bringing Clint with them was the best idea, but he promised it to him. Seemed... right? "Alright we got one shot at this. We wait for the exact location, then we enter the structure. Wanda you cover the back exit to prevent our target to leave. Sam, you got the other one as planned, Nat will have your back." He looked up at Clint "And we go fetch the bastard. Seems good for everyone ?"

Clint: Clint was technically retired. After getting his family back, he just couldn't do it anymore so he had left. It always somewhat pained him that he never got the opportunity to put an arrow in Zemo, but his family needed him more than ever. But then Clint got the call. They found him. So he suited up and now here he was, in Lagos with the rest of the team. He was barely paying attention to what Bucky was saying because he just wanted to get started, find the bastard and kill him for sure. He owed it to the him. But what Bucky didn't know was that Clint had called in someone else. Someone who also wanted a piece of him to give him a hand. They had a plan, he just had to wait. So, like the Hawk that he was, he kept a watch around the place until he saw Bucky's eyes on him. He just gave him a silent nod as he walked off. Nothing against the rest of them - he was here for one thing and one thing only.

Bucky: He waited for everyone's approval before reaching the edge of the roof they were standing on, waiting for the exact location of Zemo. He kneeled as he waited, keeping his doubts for himself. Maybe too loud however as he sensed Natasha putting her hand on his shoulder. He looked up at her, reassuring himself in her eyes for a second before looking at the team. "And don't forget. I know it's important for everyone here to catch him... But the team goes first, you hear me? Don't play vigilantes, for once." he found smart to add.

Clint: Clint heard what Bucky said and he was sure that it was more directed at him. No offense, Bucky, but this isn't your fight. He wasn't there to help the team. He was here for his own reasons. So when everyone began to disperse to their given objectives, Clint gave Nat a look, telling her that he was sorry for what he was about to do but that he needed to do it. That's when he pulled out his Avenger com and out in the one he had linked with Logan. "Alright, give me some good news, Wolvie. I think Barnes might be catching on to me here."

Logan: The plan was easy, logical and Logan only agreed when Bucky asked him to go and confirm the location, see if it was a trap and if something had to explode, well, he could handle it. He stayed in the shadows but saw their target, stealing him a small smile. He followed him at a reasonable distance and didn't stop when Clint's voice resonated in his com. "Oh really? Good job Barton. Maybe it gonna be a solo date then, if you can't handle the kid." He knew that the plan was to catch the man, but he didn't care, Zemo had to die, that was all, no bargain, no prison, just death. He didn't care what the justice could say, what the government could decided, Zemo was a personal problem since the moment who he started to lay into the kids. "6°33'27.5"N 3°22'54.7"E" He finally shared after checking his gimmick. "Barnes." He continued, changing his com. "6°27'00.5"N 3°26'21.7"E, this bastard still liked luxury." He lied for him, sending him in the opposite place than the real one where Zemo was.

Bucky: Jams waited for the moment Logan would share the location, and when it came into his coms, he didn't wait any longer. "Alright. We're going in." The team didn't need a look to go to their respective spots. Bucky waited for Clint before going in the building by one of the back doors, punching the few guards in their way. The element of surprise was their main advantage as Zemo was not expecting betrayal from his own ranks, selling intel to the Avengers directly. "Big room, north, we gotta be quick before he can do anything. come on."

Clint: "Just stick to the plan, Logan, and we'll be right as rain," Clint replied after memorizing the coordinates and sticking back in the other com. It was action time which meant Clint had to stick with Bucky before finding the opportune moment to slip away. So he stuck by him, pretending he was going along with him..if everything worked, Bucky wouldn't realize he was sneaking off before it was too late. "He still there, Logan?" He asked in the communal com. His hands were gripping his bow tightly. He was ready for this.

Logan: Logan managed to stay patient but he sighed at Barton's words. "I ain't sure it's working like that, just move your birdy ass." He replied to this com before waiting for the rest. "Yup." He just added at the question, he remembered this big room, he didn't really lie about the location shared to the big team, Zemo was there, his mobs were probably still in the building, but their main target left 2 hours ago. He was now busy with what seemed to be a transaction. "Not sure he will stay there much longer tho."

Bucky: Bucky was a soldier, but he was far away from being stupid. He worked with too many men and women in this area of their job to know certain things. For now he acted blind, but he could tell things were off, he could tell things were untold and so kept an eye on everything. It wouldn't be the first time someone tried to... betray him. He tightened his grip on his shield and moved toward the location, addressing Clint a look before going in. He opened the door, shoot the shield at the men in the room, gave some punches. But then he froze as he realized. "Bloody hell, Logan, where is he?"

Clint: Clint knew that he was going to have to move fast if they were going to catch the bastard, but he couldn't just leave Bucky. Not yet. They needed to get to the spot Logan had told Bucky first so he didn't raise too much suspicion. So he played along, counting down the seconds until he could make his move. He nodded at Bucky before they entered the room, letting Bucky take down the lone man while holding up his bone. "He must have just left the room," he lied, knowing full well that that wasn't the case at all. "I'll do a perimeter check outside. He can't have gone too far." He slid the arrow back into his quiver but held firm on his bow. It would be easier to run like that.

Logan: "Must be there, I'm still smelling his Dolce & Gabbana bullshit perfume." He lied but not on the details. He had nothing else to do than wait, so he did, lighting a cigar to deal with the time being long. "Want to me to check somewhere kid?" He asked but calmly started to smoke.

Bucky: He was most of all afraid of losing their advantage of taking them by surprise. Zemo didn't know. Seemed like their only weapon right now. He gritted his teeth. "Negative." he answered Logan. "Stay put. We got the others around. He can't escape." He turned towards Clint. "Check those rooms instead, I'll go over there. Stay on this side don't let them divide us."

Clint: Clint was expecting different orders from Bucky, which is why he had his own excuse all lined up. "If he's in one of the other rooms, chances are he saw us come in. It would be better if one of us what outside incase he tried to jackrabbit. In this case, it's better to split up."

Bucky: James squinted a bit as he looked at Clint. "The exits are guarded by the others already." He wouldn't let him go alone, they needed to work as a team. But then James heard people coming at them rather quickly from behind the doors. "Do it quick then. I'll go this way."

Clint: It went over a lot better than Clint expected and gave him a nod. Now that he was free of Bucky, he could go do what he actually came to Lagos to do. Once he was out of sight of Bucky he put in his com he had with Logan. "Alright, I got away. I'm heading to you. You still remember the plan, right?"

Logan: His cigar was almost finished when Clint voice showed up again. "'Bout time." He replied and raised an eyebrow at his question. "'Might be old but I ain't senile yet." Logan stubbed out his cigar and finally left his hideout. "I'm going to set the table, don't be late for the dessert." He joked, meaning to catch this bastard, kill his few guards and get him ready for the rest of the night.

Clint: "Don't worry, I won't be," Clint replied. He had been waiting for this moment for a long time and he wasn't about to mess it all up. Not now, when he was so close. Zemo was not planning on this, and Clint was counting on it. Clint got to the rendezvous spot and notched an arrow. "Alright, Logan, I'm in position. I'm ready to set the bait. Just give me the word when he's clear."

Logan: "Still waiting..." Logan pointed out and moved to clear the way, killing some guards here and there, taking his time 'cause damn this idiot wasn't that fast and avoided the alarms. The last ones were sharing the same warehouse that Zemo, so they had to wait, lucky them. He couldn't see them, but he was surely hearing their beating hearts. "Clear. His 3 boyfriends are still there tho." Logan sighed and took his lighter to heat his blades.

Clint: "Don't worry, I got this. Just wait for my word." Clint pulled back the bow just a little bit more, adding more tension for a brief second as he took a breath. This was it. It was now or never. He had a brief thought. He could not do this. He could call Bucky, tell him he found Zemo and back out. He could walk away. Maybe it was better if he did, but he didn't want to. He wanted to end this. Clint thought about everything Zemo had destroyed. Himself, Wanda, Kate, Logan, Barney, Laura, Tony.....it just angered him more and more the more he thought about everything Zemo had done. No, keeping him alive was too risky. Clint knew what he had to do. And with that thought, he aimed the flare arrow up into the sky and launched it.

The red light exploded in the air, giving anyone a good read as to where he was. Zemo surely would know who sent it, especially when he saw the arrow shaft fall back to the ground. He would pick it up later....maybe. Just to give it that extra little oomph, Clint yelled, "ZEMO! COME FACE ME, YOU COWARD!"

Clint waited and waited until he spotted Zemo appear with his "boyfriends," as Logan called them. "Agent Barton." Clint sneered when he saw that smug-ass look on his face. "Where are your friends?"

"Doesn't matter. This is between you and me." Zemo seemed amused by Clint's statement, but Clint expected that. His hubris would be his downfall. "Why don't you send your little goons away so we can pick up where we left off? Unless you're too much of a coward to hide behind our henchmen."

There was something in Zemo's eyes telling Clint he was much too eager to show Clint what he could do. With a simple wave of his hand, Zemo's goons left just before he casually strolled back towards him. "Last I remembered, you were no match for me, Barton."

"Yeah, well last time I was injured and starved. Not exactly fair. Now, we're on even playing ground."

"Oh, I wouldn't say that. I know you can hit me with that bow of yours before I get too close."

"That's why I brought something else." Clint put his bow away and pulled out the extra toy he had brought along - a sword. It was one he had "borrowed" from the compound. He'd give it back....maybe. "Doesn't matter what I use, though, you're not leaving this place."

"Is that a promise?" Zemo pulled his sword from his own sheath, getting into a stance that Clint remembered all too well from their last encounter. "Yes, it is."

Maybe it was reckless, maybe it was stupid, but Clint rushed Zemo, sword, back and ready to strike. He knew Zemo would see it coming and block with ease, but this was all part of the plan. He just had to occupy Zemo enough before the plan fell in place. Swords clashed with a ring of metal in the air as they stuck, parried and danced around one another in a deadly dance of dueling. "You've gotten better, Agent Barton," Zemo commented as he parried another blow and struck out.

"It's amazing what someone can do when they're determined."

Zemo chuckled as he parried Clint's next blow. "Your determination will get you nowhere, though. Your angry, which blinds you. I can see it in your eyes. Your anger will be your downfall."

Clint did a few more strikes before their swords met again and they pushed against one another. It was now or never. "And your self-inflated ego will be yours. You see, you're not the only one who you managed to piss off." With that cue for Logan, Clint pushed Zemo back to give Logan the room he would need.

Logan: Deep breaths, Logan couldn't lose his control right now, waiting was playing on his nerves but it was the last act, he could manage this last wait. The old man felt the movement, he slowly moved in the shadows. He let Clint do the distraction, swords fight? Meh, who was he to judge? He only came closer to the remaining guards, tacking advantage that Zemo was busy fighting to deal with them. And just like he did before, Logan killed them before they could understand what was happening, clean work. And god the timing was perfect. "Hi." Logan simply said when Clint pushed off Zemo. His hands were already bloody. "Sorry for your guys, they were in the way."

Oh he could hear heart beat climbing up and damn it felt good, walking closer, Logan only sped up when Zemo moved his hand to call back up. With no warning the mutant cut his hand but didn't flinch when Zemo groaned in pain and reacted by stabbing Logan in the chest with his sword. "..." It was probably fair enough but of course useless. "Right... no more stupid moves then." 'Cause Zemo just did two. The bastard wasn't bleeding, he was missing a hand but Logan's claws were still burning from the preparation he did, it would have been a shame to lose the man from a stupid anemia. Logan pulled out the sword from his body and threw it away before stabbing the fucking bastard in his right knee, forcing him to kneel. The man might scream, he might not, actually Logan didn't give a shit, he wanted the man dead. It was personal right but most of that it had to be done. He was too old and too fucked up to believe in justice, he couldn't give him a chance to survive this, to escape. Maybe it wasn't the right thing to do but Logan never cared about that, not this time at least, not when the list of the victims was already too long. "Yours." He finally said, sharing a look to Clint. Again, involving Clint wasn't probably the best thing to do, but, Logan could respect his need for revenge, it will obviously not solve everything but it will for sure help.

Clint: Clint stood to the side, letting Logan get his hits in. Logan needed a few, especially what happened to the kids that Zemo had grabbed. But they had a deal. He didn't even flinch when Logan cut off his hand. Zemo wasn't going to need it anymore. He stood by, watching with each blow, waiting until Logan was done. With Zemo on his knees, Clint sheathed his own sword and grabbed his bow. "You've taken too much. You've taken away friendships," he paused, firing an arrow into Zemo's left shoulder, "You've taken away kids," another arrow, into Zemo's right, "Sanity." That arrow had gone in his leg, keeping him pinned to the floor. Each name he would speak would come with another arrow in some place Clint deemed. "Kate, Wanda, Kitty, Bobby, Tony.....Laura." At this point, Zemo, was essentially a human pin cushion. A:rrows were protruding from Zemo's body and Clint knew that eventually, he'd die from the these wounds, but it wasn't enough.

"Last I saw you, I told you that you would lose and I would personally be there when you did." Without warning, Clint took his hunting knife and stuck in the same spot Zemo had speared him with a sword all those years ago. "I've thought about this moment for a long damn time, asshole." With a slow turn of his wrist, he twisted the knife in Zemo's abdomen, finally getting a bit of a yell, even if it was more guttural from the bastard. But when Clint stopped, Zemo actually began to laugh. "What's so funny, asshole?"

"You think you've won, but you haven't. I have, Agent Barton. You became the monster once again. You are finally broken." Clint ground his teeth, leaving the knife as he grabbed Zemo's sword that Logan had thrown away. In his other, he grabbed his own and scissored them around Zemo's neck. "You will be haunted by this moment for the rest of your life, Barton. This will not save your soul."

"Maybe not," Clint muttered, his voice straight and level, "But I'll live with it. See you in Hell." And with a swift move, Clint closed the swords, slicing right through Zemo's neck and cutting his head clean off. Zemo's head rolled a few feet away and while Clint could have left him like that, he had one more thing to do. He sheathed both of the swords this time and grabbed two arrows. He pierced the man's dead eyeballs with them and speared the head onto one of the arrows protruding from his body. It was finally over.

Logan: Was it a good idea to let this idiot take the responsibility of this kill? Probably not. But Logan didn't stop him, Zemo wasn't totally wrong but the mutant could understand this need of vengeance. He wasn't an example to follow about that, like he was actually the worst but he knew. He knew that this death will not resolve everything but it will probably be a good start despite the consequences. So Logan shut the fuck up, he didn't look away when Clint killed the man, he didn't flinch and he definitively didn't say a thing. It was over, the bastard was dead and it felt less good than Logan still expected. The mutant sighed, with no smile and cocked an eyebrow when Clint played the put all the body pieces together, he wasn't here to judge but god this was overkilled, even for him. Anyway, he finally came closer to Clint and the dead body and spoke. "C'mon man. Let's move." His claws withdrawn since a while now, Logan put a hand on the shoulder's man, inviting him to move. And if he could have ask of he was feeling ok, he just didn't, he bloody knew the feeling, he wasn't discovering it this night and he bloody knew that a drink will be more helpful than a little pep talk.

Clint: Yeah, sure, it was probably overkill, but Clint felt he needed to do it. To show the world he was finally gone. No tricks, no surprise appearances. He needed to see it, but yet somehow, he still felt hollow. Clint thought that if he killed Zemo, it would be done and he would feel better. More fulfilled. Yet, Clint didn't feel that way. Why didn't he feel right? As he stared down at the corpse, he muddled through his thoughts, trying to make sense of it until Logan broke his trance. "Yeah," he said softly, letting Logan guide him away while he still tried to make sense of his lack of feelings.

[fantroll-purgatory]

World: Good Ole Alternia! Name: Nadira Pikoys (The Nihilist) - Nadira is taken from Nadir, meaning the lowest point or ‘rock’ bottom while Pikoys is the old english word for Pickaxe. Her first name is tied to how she’s at the very bottom of the hemospectrum with a working class job. Age: Not set - somewhere in the 6-7 sweeps ballpark though.

Theme/Story: Her main themes are Misfortune and Mining. Her hive is part of an apartment complex dug into a hill which is also where she mines out more apartments and precious minerals (which she sometimes keeps to herself, though this is kept hidden). She’s never gone outside of it and while there are plenty of other unfortunate trolls here she’s undoubtedly the one that got the short end of the stick. She’s struck with awful luck, if something can go wrong it will go wrong, but somehow she never seems to die - either due to some sick, twisted luck or her rustblood resilience. (I’m going to start here with my notes- Nadira has more meat to her than most trolls who are based around a gimmick, but it’s still holding her back- you’ve written a character who has issues due to circumstances, and she would likely become a very different person removed from them.) Goals: I am pretty satisfied with her design, though I do feel some stuff can be improved in general and would like a second opinion on her overall! (Me and CD had a long discussion about Nadira the other night, so I’m gonna translate what we were talking about into a review!) Strife Specibus: pickaxekind - Might as well fight with what you’re forced to do for your life, right. Fetch Modus: Boulder Modus. Items are covered in a rock (toughness depending on importance and/or size of item) which need to be physically mined to be retrieved.  Blood Color: Rust Symbol and Meaning: Her EZ symbol would be Arittarius (Void/Derse, The Astronaut), but I’m using a custom symbol which is a pickaxe with an = symbol on the handle, fit for the EZ Rust symbols while not making it too simplistic. Handle: tormentedPariah [TP] - constantly suffering and an outcast - An unfortunate individual who is different from others, which is how she feels.

You’re hit on something very interesting to me here. Pariah implies someone outcast and denied by others, and if you’re saying that’s how she views herself- you don’t just have a nihilist character, you have a character with feelings of persecution. Being Pariah’d is something other people do to you. So if that’s how she feels, what does she think she’s been pariah’d for? Does she have bitterness about this outside of just the vague floaty nihilism? 

Quirk: Uses –) as Prefix, putting her pickaxe at the forefront of her sentences. Puts : before her c’s so that they’re all sad :c and Uses … as Suffix to show how her sentences always feel unfinished.

Quirk Example: TP: –) :could you tone it down a not:ch…

Special Abilities: Psionics (mild strength, can bend earth if she’s particularly upset), Blindsight (able to see and navigate without sight, tying to her Void aspect) Lusus/Guardian: A pupp-sized mopdog which has its eyes covered and looks depressing just like Nadira. Acts as the canary in the mine for her. Interests: Geology, Nihilism, and later on in SGRUB develops a taste for self-expression through Fashion. (This is pretty bare bones, and highlights the fact that you’re over committing to gimmick. This fashion interest, though, has some possibilities… Because on Alternia being into fashion is seen as frivolous and abnormal (see Kanaya), and that being a growth moment for her… needs more foundation and scaffolding, though.)

Appearance: 

(No comments here besides that I love this design.)

Personality:

 Surrounded by misfortune and hatched in a mundane role, she’s had a pessimistic view on life since the start which isn’t leaving her anytime soon. She keeps her distance and tends to be isolated due to her lack of hobbies or things to make small talk out of. When she speaks it tends to be vague and of few words, she can’t hold conversations but she’s at peace with that just like how she is used to everything going wrong every time. An observer and despite her timidness, she is assured in her own knowledge.

(You’ve written her to fit the Classpect you’ve given her as opposed to the other way around, and it shows through here. My comment about circumstantial depression comes back here- this kind of… negative nihilism would melt away after getting into Sgrub. Because in Game, she’d be completely removed from the Alternian Caste system, which would solve, like 90% of her issues.)

Lunar Sway:

 Derse cause that’s where the pessimistic and introverted peeps tend to be and she fits that bill to the T.

(She is these things, but I would argue that she may be a Prospit character! She doesn’t seem to have the Dersite core of rebellion and restlessness. She seems to just conform to what comes her way, in fact! Remember that Karkat is also a Prospit Dreamer, and he’s a big ol’ misanthrope.)

(Negative Nihilism, like what Nadira is entirely themed around, is also considerably more Prospit in nature: The feeling that everything is hopeless because nothing has meaning is not traditionally something a constantly scheming Dersite would even care about. Dersites are gonna keep going regardless if it’s right, sensible, or meaningful. They can’t not.)

Title:

 Seer of Void, having lived a life full of hands-on work on Alternia she learns to lean back into her more passive role as a strategist and opens up more as a result when she plays SGRUB - becoming more talkative with her fellow team though she’s still vague as ever since that’s how dang void players are.

(Now here’s where a majority of what CD and I discussed. Is this character a Void player? Possibly. We’ll get to this in a bit.) (This is not a Seer. A Passive class reinforces her negative traits (isolation and not doing a ton with her life) while not teaching her anything of note, ESPECIALLY with Void as an Aspect. If you’re dead set on passive, the only one I can see working for a character like this would be Rogue- as the passive reorganization of Potential, stealing away the nothing of things, would help her use that rustblood moxie of hers for good.) (Aspectwise, she could be a Doom player because you’ve written her entirely around “universal suffering”, but frankly, that’s a boring take.) (You could continue with Void, because she has some interesting symbology around it- but she doesn’t have ANY of Void’s curiosity, any of Void’s doubt, any of void’s well of endless potential. She doesn’t create the earth- she destroys it and mines it out.) (Which leads me to an odd possibility: Time. Nadira has the potential to be a solid player Chosen By Time. If you played up her grim determination to survive regardless of what life throws at her, put some meat into her personality, and emphasized that Destruction angle, she’d have what she needs to handle the pressures of the aspect. Time is also the traditional wheelhouse of the Red (see Dave, the Megidos, and Caliborn).)

(The later Fashion interest is fun because that turns the arrow towards Void’s sister, Space. Her Land would change, of course, but the imagery of bringing in from the center, changing the meaning of where things are, and creating new life all jive well with her character. Space characters tend to have an interest and draw to Art, and her moving into becoming a fashionista and shedding her facade of grim disinterest would be very interesting. Space characters as well have a well-established motif of being isolated: Jade on an island in the middle of the sea, Kanaya in the sun in the desert, and Calliope in the darkness of nothing.)

I do want to throw my hat into the ring to agree with the Time/Space option in particular. Something space players also experience is Stagnation, either physically or more metaphorically in their social life, until they finally break out and go ham. That’s something I talked to SA about last night. A Space Player who hasn’t awakened yet usually experiences a lack of Lateral Movement that comes with that feeling of isolation. You say Nadira has never left her hivestem and that reads very “space player who doesn’t know they’re a space player yet.” Once she’s free of circumstance, she can explore herself and her environment more, adventure in ways she was never allowed to. I think it’d be good for her.

Land: 

LOGAE (

lol gay

) - Land of Geodes and Enigma. The land is filled with rare minerals to the point where there is no soil to grow anything on, leaving the poor black cat consorts with nothing to grow their crops or get safe water from. The quest is to unleash the steamy water from the core and breathe new life into the land. This is a subversion of the common becoming rare and vice-versa, coming to accept the more dull things in life because they are special in their own way.

[randomoranges]

advent calendar

part 28

Day 22

Word:Interview

Object: Afaded business card  

Étiennestretched and groaned, hearing his shoulder pop; he massaged it for a momentand sat back on his chair, giving his work a one over – he supposed he could bedone for the day; he checked the time on his desktop and noticed it was nearingthree in the morning – so late; Edward would already be sound asleep, no doubt– the lucky bastard; sometimes Étienne wondered what it would be like to sleepmore than four hours a night – on a good night – not that he wished Edward hisparticular personal hell; Étienne made sure his work was saved, before he gotup from his chair and headed to the bedroom – maybe, if he was lucky, hewouldn’t hear Edward leave in a few hours and he’d be able to sleep undisturbed;Edward was always careful in the morning, but Étienne was a light sleeper –when he managed to sleep. Étienne made his way to the kitchen to drop off thedish and glass from the studio, when he noticed – or more like heard – rustlingcoming from the dining area.

Intrigued,Étienne went on to investigate and was surprised by what he found; sitting atthe table was Edward – who looked like a stressed out mess and he was surroundedby a dozen or so flashcards, a handful of mechanical drawings, his laptop, thebottle of whiskey and an empty glass next to it; Étienne frowned and approachedquietly, “Late night?” He asked and Edward jumped and turned in his direction,surprised to find him there.

“Were youstill working?” Edward asked as he cleared some of the mess from the table.Étienne nodded and made his way to his boyfriend, taking a seat on his lap.Edward furrowed his face in Étienne’s shoulder and let out a deep sigh whenÉtienne passed a hand through his hair and massaged his scalp. Étienne knewthat Edward was stressed for his big interview tomorrow. Edward really wanted this job, but he wasconvinced he fell short of half the qualifications the company was looking forand that he didn’t stand a chance. Étienne thought otherwise and had helped himprep for the interview throughout the week, had helped him select some of the pieceshe should bring along for his portfolio, but apparently, Edward was having alast minute existential crisis over his choices, “Just wanted to have one morego at it, y’know,” Edward mumbled and Étienne hummed in agreement, “Keptthinking my delivery wasn’t good enough and then I had to make sure thePowerPoint was in order,” Étienne felt Edward sag against his body as he keptexplaining how it was he had ended at their kitchen table so late in the night,“What if I don’t get this job, Étienne?” He finally asked, sounding a littlebroken and Étienne held him tightly and kissed the top of his head, wanting tochase all the doubt away from him.

“There’llbe other jobs,” He murmured, “If you don’t get this job, it’ll just mean itwasn’t meant for you, not that you’re not good enough,” He gently reminded him,and Edward nodded, aware of this, but Étienne knew that deep down, he was stillworried and nervous about the whole thing, “D’you want to run your presentationby me one more time? We can even go through the questions if you want,” Edwardseemed sceptical and didn’t want to trouble Étienne with it again, considering they had gone overthe questions at least once a day and had done so again over supper, butÉtienne assured him that it was fine, “Come on, let’s do this in the studio –the change of scenery will do you good,” Étienne rose and started gatheringEdward’s things, before heading back to the other room.

Étienne usedhis easels and corkboard to put up Edward’s drawings and moved a bit of hisfurniture around so that Edward would have space to set up his laptop withouthaving to walk between the desk and the drawings, “We can do this informally,or we can go through the whole gimmick with set ups, handshakes and Boss Manvoice,” It was at times like these Edward wondered what he had ever done todeserve someone like Étienne in his life, “D’you mind if we do the whole thing?”He hesitated and asked.

“Ofcourse not,” They set up and once Edward had all his things in order, Étienneasked him to step out so that they could conduct this interview in the realestway possible. Étienne welcomed Edward with a firm handshake, had him sit acrossfrom him and started going through the first part of the interview – Edward triednot to laugh at how “serious” Étienne looked or at the “Boss Man” voice hetook, but he appreciated the effort and thought, even if some of the effectswere lost due to the time, the setting and the fact that Étienne was wearingone of his favourite oversized t-shirts and a pair of boxers. What heappreciated even more was when Étienne would give him pointers after questionshe felt he hadn’t answered as well as he could and when they would start overthat question. He appreciated Étienne’s kindness and patience and admired himfor sticking through with this, even if he couldn’t understand half of whatEdward was saying. Having Étienne help him with this did wonders to his nervesand as they moved on to the second part of the interview, Edward felt hisconfidence grow and it only encouraged him further when he saw Étienne nod athim.

By thetime they were done, it was close to five in the morning and Edward flopped besideÉtienne on the loveseat, “I’m exhausted,” He bemoaned; Étienne chuckled andrubbed Edward’s back, “You’re gonna ace that interview,” Étienne reassured him,“And I’m so proud of you, Hon,” Edward looked up to Étienne’s face and foundnothing but unyielding support for him – not for the first time, Edward thankedhis lucky stars he had Étienne in his life, knowing he’d be lost without him, “C’m’on,let’s get some rest.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever thankedyou,” Edward said – Étienne looked at him, perplexed, as he took a seat besidehim and accepted the mug of cocoa Edward handed him, “Thanked me for what?” Heasked.

 “Everything.”

——-

PREVIOUS: XXVII

CURRENT: XXVIII

NEXT: XXIX