#or it'll never get done 🙃

[adrianfridge]

I don't think enough people talk about the physical and mental energy it takes to cook when you weren't raised to cook.

It's not as simple as here are the ingredients and here are the steps. Cooking involves multi-tasking, timing, proportions, prepping, improvising, and more. The more complex the dish, the more juggling it requires.

Oh, and I haven't even mentioned obtaining the ingredients and the cleaning afterwards.

All these "healthy" and "save money" and "live better" motivational speeches to get people to cook more, and I'm over here like Cooking is Fucking Stressful and Incredibly Draining Actually.

I was raised a girl, but I'm entirely self-taught because my mom hated cooking and never bothered to teach me. She was convinced I'll just naturally learn on my own after I got married and was forced to cook for my husband and family 🙃

Anyway, I went through a HelloFresh phase several years ago to try to kick-start myself into a groove, but it never really latched on. I think the only thing I learned is the importance of prepping ingredients in advance so that once I'm bouncing around, things are just ready for me to grab.

This isn't to say I don't cook AT ALL EVER. I can make eggs on a skillet just fine. But it's a one-and-done kind of thing. Much like putting together a cold cut sandwich. But that's not Cooking™.

Turns out this past month I randomly got a hyperfixation to Cook™, so here I am facing the bone-tired aftermath of making meals that'll last more than one day.

After three weekends of going through it, here's how I autistically started handling the stress:

Find a recipe I will follow

Envision myself going through the steps and allocate a certain amount of energy to the task

Compile ingredients I need to obtain (or get my partner to obtain)

(If I have to go shopping myself, do it on a separate day from when I have to cook)

Open a Google Doc and copy/paste the recipe into it

Rewrite the recipe steps based on how I imagine I'll be going through them once I'm in motion

Mentally practice the steps

When it's time to cook, go through steps as I've mentally practiced them, with improvisation when real life takes a different turn

(If a lot of prep work is required, such as peeling and cutting potatoes, sit down to do it with a podcast before starting on anything else)

After cooking is complete, throw out any lingering garbage

My partner does the dishes :)

I'm sure it'll get easier the longer I do it, but this is exactly why I'm 34yo and always hated Cooking™ to the point that I budget for delivery and take-out on nearly a daily basis.

Cooking is hard actually.

[unintentionaloracle]

Just A Favor [Fic]

Okay, so here's my slightly cracky fic I meant to get out before WarGames happened...AFTER WarGames. 🙃 (I'm never doing super time-sensitive fics again.) Let's just consider this firmly AU, okay?

Seth wants in on WarGames after all, baby! And he will do whatever it takes to get in there. Even if it includes lying, scheming, and...possibly saving his friends' relationship!?

(Note: I do have a one-sided other ship in here I'm just not tagging for spoilers.)

(Also tagging @wrestlezaynia because I said I would)

 “I mean, it's for the greater good...”

 That's what Seth told himself as he paced around the parking lot. His heeled crushed red velvet boots clicked anxiously on the asphalt. He felt the beginnings of the evening breeze start to drift through his sheer white sweater and lightly tossle both his hair and his tasseled black pants. The sun was starting to wane, as was his window of opportunity.

 See, Seth was very upset with what happened on SmackDown. Punk stealing his spot that he'd refused! Didn't he know how important revenge was to Seth? So much so that it had finally exceeded his moral high ground. But noooooooo, the fragile man just HAD to insert himself into something he had no business in to play hero, AGAIN! Because he was selfish and egotistical.

 ...And being selfish and egotistical was Seth's job.

 So he had to get rid of Punk. Obviously.

 It was honestly doing him a favor, keeping that old man out of one of the most physically grueling matches known to man. If nothing else, everyone would owe him a thank you, after the fact. But the thing is, he knew no one would see it as the noble act it was. It would destroy his current image to beat up Punk, especially if they caught him on tape.

 So he had to put a hit out on him.

 Obviously.

 And there was only one deeply unstable man on WWE’s payroll for the job. A man who had just arrived and he had to talk to now. It was the moment of truth.

 “Kev-enth Heaven! Baby! Can I ask a favor of ya, bestie?” He said, throwing his arm around Kevin.

 Kevin gave him a dead-eyed glare. “Never call me that. And no. I only do favors for my friends. And apparently I don't have any friends!”

 Seth removed his arm. “Aw, c’mon. It'll be fun. You'll get to let off steam. I just need you to take out Punk. You don't like him, either, right?”

 Kevin rolled his eyes. “Yeah I don't like him, but he's low on my list. Not like Cody, Randy, Roman, Management, Solo and his Bloodline, Jimmy, Jey’s on thin ice too, honestly I'd still punch Waller and Theory because that's fun...”

 “...And Sami?” Seth asked, desperate not to sit through The List of KO.

 “I...” Kevin paused. He seemed to think about that for the first time. Then he snarled. “I don't know! We're on a break because he doesn't like what I'm doing and I don't like him getting involved with Roman!”

 So that's why they didn't come to Thanksgiving with me and Becks... Seth thought. “Is that why you haven't attacked him?” He asked.

 “MAYBE! I DON'T KNOW! I FEEL LIKE I SHOULD, BUT...” He frowned. “BUT I ALSO KINDA WANT TO PROTECT HIM FROM EVERYONE, TOO! It's complicated! He makes me feel complicated! I DON'T LIKE IT!” Kevin said, his signature white hot rage flaring for a moment.

 (It weirdly made Seth feel relieved, seeing a bit of the old KO. Kevin hadn't returned any of his or Becky's calls since Bad Blood and they were growing concerned.)

 The gears in Seth's head started turning. He knew it was probably a terrible thing to do what he was about to do to his friend, given his current state, but...he needed to get this done. For everyone. And himself.

 Plus, maybe this would soothe him, somehow.

 “So, if you're on break, does that mean you wouldn’t care if Punk tries to make a move on Sami?” Seth said, lowering his sunglasses with dripping blood-shaped lenses.

 Kevin looked disgusted. “There's no way Punk would try to hit on Sami! Sami's out of his league!”

 Seth smirked. “Well, I heard a rumor that Punk really joined the team because he wants to get close to him,” he lied.

 He could see the jealous rage dancing around in Kevin's eyes. Seth had him hooked...

 Then Kevin’s eyebrow raised. “Why would you tell me this? What do you have to gain from this?”

 Seth feigned offense. “I just want to look out for you, buddy...”

 “Bullcrap! You want something. I can see it in your eyes.”

 Damn it! He knows me too well! Seth thought. No matter, The Visionary was flexible.

 “I want in on that WarGames match, man! Not to help Roman, of course! I just want to beat up Bronson. Buuuuut...if I was in there, I could also  promise to protect Sami from whatever happens while you sort out your feelings...”

 Kevin seemed to consider it.

 “I'll throw in a free steel pipe.”

 Kevin took a deep breath and held out his hand. “Deal.”

 Seth grinned and shook his hand, “Pleasure doing business with you, Kevin!” He cackled, heading back to his bus for the weapon. Oh, it felt good to scheme again!

---

 Having parted ways with Kevin (so as to not implicate himself), Seth ran off to establish an alibi/make sure he was in the right place to “stumble upon” The Bloodline. As he roamed backstage, he ran into Sami, sitting on an equipment trunk. He was looking at a letter, distraught.

 What a perfect alibi! Everything's coming up Rollins, baby! He thought as he wandered over to the distressed redhead. “Heeeeeeey, Sami! What's got ya down?”

 “I found this weird, kinda threatening love note with my gear today. I have no idea what to do about it...” Sami fretted.

 ...You're freaking kidding me...

 “Let me take a look at it...” Seth said, taking the letter from him.

 “Wait...why are you even here, anyway?”

 “Not important. Just business...” Seth said, reading the note:

 “You make me wanna be a better man. Choose me and be mine.

-The Man Who Can't Stop Loving You”

 Seth recognized the handwriting. He just had to hope Sami wouldn't.

 “I mean, I’m pretty sure it's not Kevin,” Sami said, “we haven't been speaking for a while, and this isn't his style...”

 “Oh, definitely...” Seth said, an idea finally coming to him. “Buuuuut...would you be mad if it's Kevin?”

“I mean...I don't know? No? I still love him, obviously, but...I don't know what to do with him. He's been ignoring me for weeks. Plus, I feel bad for going back to The Bloodline, even if it's just for this one thing. But I don't know how to begin to talk to him or fix this? Especially after our fight. I think he might be too pissed at me this time...”

 Seth shifted uncomfortably. He did not expect to play relationship counselor tonight. “Well, maybe you need to do a grand gesture. To prove you still love him...”

 “Hmm... Well, I'd been thinking about–”

 There was a loud wail from Heyman from across the venue. Seth thanked everything holy (and not-so-holy) for Kevin. He grabbed Sami and dragged him along to the scene of the crime. “We should help,” he said, tossing the note away.

 Sure enough, there was Kevin, post-beatdown, being held back by several officials as the others tended to Punk. Seth feigned surprise as Kevin's eyes locked onto Sami’s. He ran to him, breaking past the others as Roman and The Usos arrived. He immediately clung to a bewildered Sami. 

 “KEVIN, WHAT DID YOU DO!?” Sami exclaimed.

 “HE CAN'T HAVE YOU!” Kevin shouted. “I don't like you hanging out with The Bloodline, but I don't want anyone else flirting with you, either! And you might be the only person I don't wanna hurt for hurting me. I love you too much, Sami!”

 Sami glanced back at Seth, confused. And no doubt wondering if this had anything to do with the love note. Seth shook his head and shrugged, as if he didn't know who lied to Kevin or who Sami's real secret admirer was.

 Sami looked back at Kevin, overwhelmed for a moment. “So...you did this for me?”

 “For us.”

 The officials carted Punk off to medical before he could speak up and destroy Seth's web of lies.

 Sami took a deep breath. “Kevin, this is so...sweet of you, in a horrifying way...” Sami said. “And I’m sorry I fell back in with The Bloodline, I didn't mean to get in this deep...”

 Hope sparked in Kevin's eyes. “So you'll ditch them?”

 “I can't, Kevin. It's too late at this point and I can't leave them out to dry...”

 Seth could almost see Kevin's heart crumble as Roman seemed to perk up, despite acting like he wasn't listening.

 “But I really want to prove to you that I still love you, too. And that I don't want us to fall apart again.  I know this is sudden, but...”

 Sami dropped to one knee. “Would you marry me, Kev? Cuz I want to make you officially family, too...”

 Ohhhhh...Sami, no, that's not what I meant... Seth thought. He'd made peace with the fact he was going to Hell, but he worried he'd be going to a worse Hell if Kevin broke his heart by saying–

 “YES!” Kevin said, no hesitation.

 ...Well, damn, never mind...

 Sami’s eyes lit up. “Great! I don't have a ring on me, but...”

 Kevin tossed him some athletic tape and held out his hand. “Wrap that around my finger.”

 Sami complied, kissing his hand after as he rose to his feet slowly and met Kevin's gaze.

 “That's my ring! I'm never taking it off and I'm keeping my last name. Deal?”

 “Deal.”

 “Good! Let's go!”

 Sami leapt into his arms, cupping Kevin's face and kissing him. Kevin held Sami by his thighs and ran off with him. The Usos ran after them.

 “UCE, IS THIS A GOOD IDEA!?” Jey asked.

 “UCE, WE'VE GOT WARGAMES TO DO!” Jimmy fretted.

 Roman stared into the distance, eye twitching.

 Seth stared at the ground. He'd pulled it off. Damn it, he pulled it off. Now for the final touch. “Well, it looks like you need a new fifth man for WarGames...I’ll stay out of your business, I just want my pound of flesh from Bronson...”

 “Whatever. I don't care anymore...” Roman said, numb.

 Yeah, no, I'm definitely going to Hell.

 Heyman glared at Seth. Seth could tell Heyman suspected this mess was his fault. Seth looked at Roman. He felt a pang of remorse, deep down in the part of him that still loved Roman like a brother, despite disliking the man he became. To clear his conscience, he walked over to Roman and patted his shoulder. He leaned into his ear:

 “If it makes you feel better, I kinda hate me for what I did to us, too, sometimes...” 

(Seth wasn't sure if it was a lie or not.)

 He walked away as Roman looked at him, his rage shifting to something almost wounded. To shake it off (and to have a little victory lap for Getting Away With This Crap) he spun around and held his arms wide. He threw his head back and cackled:

 “WARGAMES, BABY!”

---

 Roman bristled at Heyman's reassuring touch.

 Heyman sighed. “I'm sorry the note didn't work, my Tribal Chief. But I think it's time you accepted that if there's one fight Kevin Owens always beats you in, it's the fight for Sami Zayn's affections.”

 Roman punched the wall. “THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME, WISEMAN!”

 “I know...do you need a minute, my Tribal Chief?”

 “...Yes...”

 “And do you want me to cancel the “Sami Reigns” shirts, my Tribal Chief?”

 “Please.”

[my-stories-vault]

Part 6 ~ Purgatory Series.

Pairing: American Dean Winchester X English Y/N L/N; American Dean Winchester X American Y/N L/N.

Blurb: Purgatory suits you, to be honest. Plenty of distractions to choose from, you can kill as many as to your heart's content. And your heart is one insatiable bastard—it'll do anything to keep the memories of your ex away. Until a face much similar to his struts up into your territory, looking for you, promising you a home you lost too long ago. Your heart melted once before, do you think you would be able to risk it all again for the same criminally handsome face?

Warnings/Trigger Warnings (18+): Supernatural Wars spoilers, major and minor character deaths, mentions of previous major character deaths, violence, gore, tons of angst, (sort of, but not really) love triangle, language, self-sacrifices (not exactly suicide), betrayals, etc.

Note: This was written four years ago and English is my second language - I've tried to edit without losing the past-me's "authenticity", but let's face it, spellings ain't my strong suit, and even Grammerly gave up, soooo all the mistakes are mine 🙂🙃.

{ Series Masterlist ; Main Masterlist }

Purgatory Series: Part 6.

Of course, you ran fast. He always knew that. Even in your damn five-inch heels and a gown that could suffocate most people you were faster than a man who had legs longer than yours. How was that even fucking possible?

What was more shocking was that you were so fast that not only did you overtook him and vanished between the trees, but also you reached the cabin, packed your bag and left.

You freaking left. And he didn't even see you leave, much less catch up to you.

When he saw the door was shut on the shared cabin, he thought you were inside. After much insistent knocking, he finally pushed in - to find the place empty - void of all your belongings, as if you had never even existed in the first place. Had you been his imagination this whole time?

He would have believed the latter had Kan-fir and his subjects not asked for you when they followed Dean to the gazebo. They had seen you, so you were real.

Where the heck are you, sweetheart?

You don't remember how fast you ran, you don't remember where you went. You just know you were sprinting in the direction your legs had been taking you. You must have a good muscle memory since you reached the cabin sooner than you thought you should have.

Practically yeeting yourself through the door, you pulled the duffel and emptied it of majority of your weapons, keeping the essential bare minimum. You stashed your journal in it, two of your Dean's shirts, two usable jeans your size and Dean's tick leather jacket that sometimes acted as your armour.

When you were done packing, you froze in the middle of the gazebo: What now?

All you could think was that you needed to get out of here. You need to leave. You couldn't do this to yourself, you couldn't suffer through another heartbreak. First time destroyed you, the second time, you wouldn't live.

This is all your fault, you thought. This is all your fucking fault!

'What did I do?' a robotic, honeyed voice asked.

You twisted on the balls of your feet. Glazed eyes gave you a hysterical appearance, proving to be your most dangerous state yet.

'You . . . murdered him,' you whispered, at first. 'You murdered him!' you yelled like it were a battle cry, launching yourself at the Castiel's other version.

Castiel fell on the group with you straddling his waist raining down a stream of punches that merely turned his head right and left, hurting your knuckles far more than they did his face.

'You asshole!' you shrieked, feeling the salt on your tongue as tears fell into your screaming mouth. 'You killed the man I love! You killed them all!'

'I'm sorry,' he apologized between punches, driving you craizier.

'You're sorry!?' you clasped his collar. 'You ruined my life! You took everything from me!' you sobbed.

Are you singing the Tangled song? he sniffled.

Called the Healing Incantation, you answered. You do associate Dinsey with love.

When did you learn it?

When I realised I have to give my dork of a fiancé a nice present for his birthday—happy birthday, Dean, you'd kissed his cheek.

Doesn't feel happy, his arms around you had tightened desperately.

Maybe next year, then it might.

Next year was Dean's last birthday, his thirty-second. No one was left to sing the Tangled song for you.

Your hands fell away from Castiel because your body had started shivering. You slid off of him, too weak to sit straight. You had to lean against a pillar so you didn't curl up on the floor in a fetal position.

'You ruined my life!' you choked, barely able to breathe between your wails. 'You ruined me! You killed him! You killed them—!'

Your silent scream ate up the rest of your sentences. All your strength, your stoicity stripped from your face in the most ugliest way possible. You had to hold yourself before you fell to the ground in pieces.

Castiel watched you for a beat, sympathy pooling in his baby blues. Awkwardly, he rose to his knees and you silently begged him to make it quick.

Instead, he shocked you with a hug.

You didn't even have the enegry to fight him. Your words had turned into an incomprehensible gibberish - somehow that was an accurate inner representation of you.

Cas had but one thing left to do when your thoughts reached his angelic mind: he teleported you and your things, all of it, even the things you didn't pack, everything that could be a reminder of you.

Maybe he should have thought more, but he had heard Dean's footsteps near the cabin, and that forced his decision further along.

All he knew is that you and Dean weren't good for each other if this was a state you were reduced to.

Weeks passed and then months.

Purgatory became a routine to Dean as well. He had to leave the Borax forest to keep searching for Castiel, but his search had expanded: he was looking for you too now.

You couldn't be his imagination: his broken could never imagine a woman as beautiful as you and he certainly couldn't imagine all that you made him feel . . .

Along the way, he met Benny, per your original plan. A vampire who'd heard about the humans looking for the portal and he'd tracked down Dean. He helped Dean on the condition that he would get to leave Purgatory as well.

What started out as a business deal between a human and a monster turned into a friendship and then a brotherhood, based on mutual trust and care between two souls lost in Purgatory.

It was better than you could have expected it to go.

After inspecting Castiel for a while, it didn't surprise you that this Benny was a good being, full of valour; unlike your Universe's Benny.

You chalked it up to the fact that wars made a monster out of everyone. In some twisted sense of irony, you can see why all the Leaders, of all factions, ended up dead - it was justice that all the perpetrators of the war should die.

You'd once commanded troops to war - you were as responsible for all the deaths under your Leadership as the monsters who killed them. You deserved this agony more than anyone.

More than this Dean did. He deserved distance from a screw-up like you. And you would make sure he finds his happy ending. No matter the cost - one last act of redemption before you let the fate decide for you.

Your decision made you face the biggest downside of Purgatory for the first time. You never noticed it until you started capturing monsters instead of simply killy them. Purgatory didn't distinguish between good and bad monsters. A monster was a monster and no matter whether they stayed pure during their spans of life, or if they were the source of anguish for several thousand humans - they all would end up only here.

It made your life tricker when you tried to harnest the "safe" ones from the shadier ones; you were trying to send the non-threatening ones Dean's way so he could torture the "correct" information from them and leave this place.

Although in this game of cat and mouse, sometimes you would be the hunter and sometimes you ended up being hunted.

'Chief,' Benny called, gesturing to the recently spilt crimson, beside the smell, it was visible because of the sheer quantity. 'Think we're close,' the vampire voiced Dean's thoughts.

A nauseous feeling washed over Dean's insides when he saw the blood. Only one person could bleed in Purgatory other than Dean.

The human nodded, eyes latching to the trail of blood that went to the left, slightly upstream.

A monster they had caught - for once, the monster wasn't leading them out of here or towards Castiel - it gave information about you.

Dean wasn't stupid. He knew you must have had a hand in all the monsters who had been acting so cooperative during his interrogations. None of them breathed a word about you, but all of them were helping. But he knew you were around when he'd ask about you and their eyes would dart to the trees.

Dean had always known you were smart, but this was a whole another level. He had known you long enough to know that your cunning: these were the monsters that wouldn't harm them, just the type that would guide them in their quest.

No matter how many monsters he killed in your name, no matter how much he pulled out his hair, he hadn't heard a word about you in almost five fucking months.

Finally, they caught a break!

Finally, a monster who was more afraid of Dean than it was afraid of you.

Finally, when he had started to lose hope . . .

This ghoul could only point which tree you were holed up in—all he had spilled before your arrow had missed Dean's face by inches, piercing the monster's head.

'Y/N, fuck!' Dean had yelled up at you, jumping back in shock.

'Quit being a baby! It wasn't like it was going to hit you,' your reprimand came from the tree you'd been hiding in.

At least, Benny was impressed.

'Y/N, get down here!' Dean demanded, turning in your direction.

You never did deal well with authority; letting out a string of the most colourful curse words, you had somersaulted to another tree before Dean could pin you.

Your panic must've been stronger than you realised for you had tumbled right into a pack of centaurs at a fifteen-minute walking distance from where you left Dean. Swinging took less time, and you could've still swung away but Dean and Benny were following you . . .

Fuuuck.

It was near impossible killing centaurs - you cannot run faster than them, obviously; their human intelligence and ability to wield weapons didn't help your case either. The only advantage you had was your tree skills, and you put them to their maximum use as you threw yourself into the mass slaughter of the half-breeds.

And all you remembered from that fight was that you came within the inch of your life.

Ashes to ashes, right?

You didn't leave the scene without a trail of blood on the ground, no longer able to swing at the end of it.

That's where the boys came in, sniffing the heavy iron in the air, five minutes away from where you lay against a tall tree, black dots dancing around in your vision as you prayed to Castiel to come save you.

Again . . .

A very annoyed and done Castiel materialised from thin air. 'You're dying again?'

You wheezed out a cough, weakly raising your hand as sign of help. 'H-Help . . . '

He sighed, putting two fingers on your forehead while your hand slapped back to the ground beside you. A breath of relief escaped you when white flooded your vision and warmth coursed your bloodstream, sealing your wounds as smoothly as melted butter on bread.

Castiel spoke as he healed, 'I can't recover the blood you lost, so you may black out.'

'Awesome,' you rasped out. 'Dean,' you weakly poked your thumb in the direction the man would show up from.

'You followed him again?'

Castiel seemed exasperated, fingers falling away. A lazy smile spread over your lips, a small nod of your head as your eyelids fluttered shut.

'He will stop looking for us and manage his own way out of Purgatory. If you keep this up, you'll end up dead,' Castiel explained, as if to a rebellious teen.

'Watch me not care,' you muttered as the sweet embrace of sleep pulled you closer.

Castiel sighed, bending down to put his arms under your back and knees, picking you up; he could heard the crunching of dead leaves, branches and roots as hurried footsteps approached you two.

'Do you really love him?'

'So much,' you said, half-asleep. 'Don't you?'

'He's my best friend. But he's not the same man you fell in love with, Y/N - what are you doing?'

You were fast asleep in his craddle-carry. Castiel sighed, flying you away just when the boys reached the spot - and Dean could have sworn he heard a flutter of wings.

A desperate look around brought him nothing.

Benny inspected the trail of blood that abruptly ended; a thought popped into his head: 'What do you think happens to humans when they die in here, Chief?'

'I don't know . . . '

Dean's focus sharpened at Benny's implicit meaning, suddenly, giving him a whiplash. 'You think we turn into ash?'

Benny shrugged lightly, standing up. 'Would make sense why this trail ends into nothing. Maybe that's all that's left of—'

'Shut up!' Dean snapped. His steely green orbs backed his warning: 'Don't you talk about her like that.' The or else was too terrfying for the vampire to ignore.

'I'm just sayin',' Benny retorted, raising his hands in surrender. 'We know you bleed, but we don't know what happens after.'

'We keep looking,' Dean ended the discussion. 'She's not a fucking matyr,' he said; this had been his chant for months.

'Your choice, Chief,' Benny folded. 

After a beat, Benny had to prod. 'You really love her, don't you?'

Dean froze in his spot. Love?

Was this love?

He had never fallen for another person. He had never loved anyone but his family. Was this what Benny said it was?

No. It's too early, right?

He just deeply cared about you.

'Let's go,' Dean said. 'She'll surface again.' He was confident.

As they left the clearing, the trees conferred in the way of rustling leaves and waving branches, the wind and the water whispered in the background. They all wanted to know how this endless game of tag would end, they wanted to know if you and Dean would ever be able to say to one another the three magic word you'd technically confessed to the nature. If only someone could suspend their mystery . . .

'Would you calm your tits, Cas?' you grumbled. 'I'm fine, you can stop fussing now.'

'You're just as bull-headed as Dean is!'

'Thank you,' you took a sarcastic bow, before your resumed your work; you were recruiting all the herbs for your spell.

'I don't see how that's a compliment.'

'You saved me. Now you can leave,' you dimissed.

Not that you weren't thankful for Castiel for always showing up when you needed him these days, but you really wanted to be sans his presence as much as possible. Having your loved ones murdered in front of your eyes and then being buddy-buddy with the murderer was not on your bucket list.

You sat down on the floor of one of your safe-houses, cross-legged with a pot in front of you. After mashing the ingridients together, you would later heat it up on a fire downstairs.

'I don't understand why you keep sending Dean my way. I don't want him to die because of me.'

That sentence was induced with irony on so many levels that you didn't know whether to cry or laugh.

You were sending Dean to Castiel, and the latter man was warning you against this.

Rephrasing: the woman who lost everything was sending what she lost to the man she lost everything to, and that man was warning her not to do it . . . And that was all so that she could save the man she lost (Dean) who actually wanted to save the man she lost everything to (Castiel) . . .

Dear Lord, what happened to your life?

'I haven't had a lasagna in ages,' you mused. 'That dish has so many layers. Kinda like life, huh?'

'Please stop talking in riddles,' he said. 'I'm tired of the position you're putting me in.'

'I'm tired too,' you sighed. 'This is taking longer than I like.'

'What is?' he asked, frustrated.

You chewed your lower lip, sensing that he was reaching the end of patience with you and your non-answers.

'You yourself say that Dean is stubborn,' you began. 'Do you really think he would leave here without both of us? He at least needs to save one person, at least.'

'I don't want to leave,' Castiel pointed out. 'I bought the Leviathans into my world. I don't deserve freedom.'

'You and me both, sister,' you mumbled. 'Someone's still going. Better you than me.'

Castiel processed that. 'Is that why you keep calling me - to convince me?' It dawned on him, 'You have the Purgatory Flower drink, you don't need me to save you!'

'Perceptive,' you quipped dryly. 'Only took you five months.'

Castiel bristled, 'Are you insane!? What if I didn't answer?'

'Then I'd die,' you shrugged. 'At least I wouldn't go back to your earth.'

'So you've stopped making the healing potion?'

'Well, no,' you said. 'But I send all that I make to Dean.'

'You're very annoying,' Castiel noted.

'A pain in the ass,' you agreed. 'But I get the job done, you know?'

'What if I give you to Dean first?' Castiel challenged, but you know his threat held empty.

'I'll kill myself first,' you retorted, nonplussed.

You knew the only reason Castiel hadn't already handed you over was because you'd said this often, he'd come to view you as self-harm case. It was only partially correct and very valuable when you wanted to fool the angel. As long as Castiel had a good heart, you could use him. You were a paradox for the angel.

'I don't want to go back,' he persisted.

'I heard you,' you said without looking up. 'See you next time I'm dying,' you said with a finality.

You heard him fly away.

Castiel wasn't wrong though, about the fact that Dean Winchester is a hard ass - it's true on all planets. The only time he gives up is when he is made to believe that there is no way out whatsoever, and even then it was hard to make him believe.

You knew there was no point in telling him that a human from another Universe couldn't cross the portal, he would just persist that there was another way out and that they spend time looking for it. But you knew well that there wasn't a solution, and that it would only delay his departure from this hellhole. A delay you couldn't afford because the Dwarves were gunning to cash in the favors they'd done on you and Dean - they wanted the Leviathans dead.

With that time crunch, naturally, Castiel was only Plan A. You were more than ten steps ahead of the human, a true war-bred soldier. You would be damned if you didn't put all your intelligence into this.

You're scary, you know that?

What do you mean?

'Y/N ready?' came the squeaky voice from the window.

'Kan-fir, my man,' you said. 'Come in. You're early today.'

'Dwarf meeting at night,' he said. 'Urgent. Meeting with wolves. Full moon.'

'Ah,' you nodded. 'Well, for one, I don't have the potion ready yet,' you gestured at the pot in front of you. 'Second, not many Y/Ns would be sleeping. We need my doppelgangers to sleep so I can hijack their dreams, you know? It's afternoon now.'

'Find Y/N in afternoon nap,' he requested. 'Exception today.'

You sighed. 'I feel like there ought to be a btter way,' you admitted. 'I've visited one fifty-one Y/Ns till now.'

'One fifty-two time the charm?' his brows creased, he offered two crossed fingers.

Your fond smile resisted you from rolling your eyes. 'Fine,' you said. 'This had better work, cutie.'

'Cutie hopes!' he said, waddling up to your pot and shooting some magic on it to make the ingredients cook and sizzle inside.

You took some of it out in a leafy bowl and blew on it before you drank it whole, cringing at the sour taste.

'Put me under,' you said, lying down.

He placed his tiny palm on your forehead, letting his magic seep into you, calming all your thoughts until you felt like you were floating freely - untethered, detached from all the worries of the world.

'You have one hour,' his far-away voice reminded you. 'Cutie wakes you in one hour.'

The leather under your skin was so soft you could sink into your couch, the weighted blanket cocooned you as soft as warm hugs. A light smile flirted with your lips and you often let sighs of tranquility leave your pink pillowy lips. Your mind was at its peak capacity of peace and quiet, locked in the cabin in the middle of nowhere.

No one existed but you. No human, no monster, no fucking misery.

'Nice place you got there,' your voice broke in through your reverie.

Wait, what? you thought to yourself, unwilling to open your eyes and check what the source was. But still, you popped an eyelid open and it took a few moments for your eye to focus on . . . well, you.

That made you wide awake.

Eerily, your face stood in front of you with a smirk. Your face-thief, the one who had spoken, was standing in your modern kitchen that contrasted the traditionality of the rest of the cabin; cooking was the one thing you didn't compromise on.

You rose from your armchair, an annoyed huff perched on your lips as you tried to contemplate this new woman who popped out of literally nothing.

'Hi, I'm Y/N,' the girl introduced, her smile never leaving her face, a thick English accent hugging her words. Her attire consisted of ripped clothes, scuffed boots, no make-up or jewellery - and let you not even get started on her hair.

While you could've walked right out off of a magzine cover. Dressed in a clean sweater and pair of shorts that complimented you really well. Your socks stopped around the ankles, showing off your creamy, smooth skin. Your hair ran down your back in a beautiful h/c tress, your sharp e/c eyes twinkling with vanity, and your features, though soft, had a hard formation - one that came from accumulating years of hardships.

You crossed placed your hands on your hips, an unimpressed look plaguing your otherwise stoic face. 'You're wearing my face, so I'd say that's a given,' you sassed, rolling your eyes, a cold American accent proving to be a stark contrast to the former's friendly Eurpoean one. 'Did I accidentally stumble into your dream? If so, I'll leave. But if you walked into mine, you're gonna be in a world of fucking pain, lady.'

'I take it you're not into socialising,' the Brit stated, unfazed by your unfounded annoyance.

'I isolate myself in my dreams,' you snarled. 'Let's not even talk about how much I hate people in my actual life. And being lonely on purpose - it's not for shits and giggles. So, yeah, you need to leave!'

'I need your help,' she amended. 'You're the dreamwalker, aren't you?' she asked, an excited sheen to her voice.

Your groaned, 'Fuck, not this again. Helping is not my forté, capiché? I don't help you, and I don't help any other Y/N from any other goddamn universe. Didn't you read the sign on my dream door?'

'I think you'd want to help me, though,' argued the invader. 'You're the one I've been looking for!'

'Let's talk over a cup of tea, then,' you mocked.

'I understand your scepticism—'

'I exclusively avoid humans, okay?' you raised a brow. 'Leave, before I'm focred to hurt you.'

She produced a flask with some claret in it, making you tense for a milisecond. She shook it for you. 'It's boiling,' she pointed out. 'It's only meant to boil when I'm in the right place. It's your soulmate's blood!'

Upon those words, your blood ran cold.

'We've talked long enough,' you gritted.

'Hear me out,' she pleaded. 'It's about Dean Winchester,' she explained. 'Your Dean. You're a dreamwalker: I'm sure you have visited a lot of different Universes where our doppelgangers are mated with that guy!'

You squinted at your namesake; she was too knowledgeable to be ordinary . . . and then it hit you like a cold shower.

'Are you that Y/N who was the part-Leader of Europe along with Dean and you both participated in some Supernatural Wars or something?'

'Yes! So, you have visited me,' she asked, getting even more enthusiastic.

'Ugh,' you said, feeling the beginnings of headache. 'Weren't you banished to another planet's Purgatory after they killed your lover or something? Damn, I thought I'd never see you again.' Then, it struck you, 'Wait! Were you banished to my Universe's Purgatory!? Is that how you're contacting me? Because that's not cool.'

Surprise crossed her expression: 'You were looking for me?'

'God, no,' you grimaced with a scoff. 'You were one less face-thief I had to worry about. I was relieved when you were gone. I was really hoping I'd never have to see you again.'

'You called me face-thief!' she practically bounced on her feet. 'You really are his soulmate!'

'You're so emotional,' you made a face. 'Like a dog or something.'

'Look,' she said, 'I understand if you dislike me—'

'Understatement,' you muttered.

'But we need you. Your soulmate needs you.'

'Well, let me just drop everything and come running,' you deadpanned.

'He's mistakenly stranded at Purgatory,' she tried again. 'He needs you badly—'

'Hard pass, lady.'

'Well, why?' she demanded

'Because,' you shrugged.

She waited for a long moment, blinking back her anger when you looked as uncaring as you could.

'He's your soulmate,' she reiterated. 'We don't have much time—'

'Look, Purgatory girl,' you locked eyes with her. 'Lemme tell you something helpful: you're wasting your time. I've been watching my doppelgangers and Dean's since the age of five, a'ight? Not one of them had a happy ending. Now, gimme one reason I should walk into a fucking heartbreak.'

'Because . . . you'll get to love him.'

'Oh, my God, you're such a sap,' you shook your head. 'Now, then: don't let the door hit your ass on your way out. Who knows if you'll start crying because of it.' Even as you said it though, you were the one who closed your eyes and prepared to wake up.

'No! Listen to me, his life is in danger!'

'Then be there for him or whatever you humans do,' you said nonchalantly.

And even though you pretended as if you didn't care, a slight part of you was fighting to keep you in your dream state and making you listen to the woman. You could have easily left if you really, really wanted to . . .

I can still go, you forced your heart.

'. . . I cannot be with him,' desperation coated her words. 'I'm not his. Please. You have to come get him. You need to get him to leave Purgatory.'

No, your inner voice raged, I cannot meet him . . . It would be your ruin like it was everyone else's.

'Sorry, sweetheart,' your resolve hardened.

You snapped your fingers, finally finding the courage to leave her behind, your last words to your face-thief dissolved alongside the dream. 'But in no world are Y/N and Dean meant to be together.'

You shot up with a gasp. The English you. Your nails bit into your flesh as you tempered your anger.

'What a bitch,' you growled.

'What wrong?' pipped up Kan-fir.

'I found her,' you said.

'That great news!' he exclaimed, jumping to his feet to come stand in front of you. 'She come to Purgatory?'

You shook your head with a sigh. 'She'll take some convincing,' you frowned. 'I mean, why can't just people do what you want them to?'

'Tragedy,' nodded Kan-fir. 'What now?'

'I'll keep meeting her, right?' you said. 'At least we know where she is now,' you said, bringing the blood out. 'Thanks for this,' you gave the blood back to Kan-fir. 'I remember how to go there now.'

'See?' he pocketed the blood. 'Blood collection come handy in spell!'

You scowled at him. 'I'm still uneasy that you Dwarves collect blood for you magic spells. I know you have mine.'

'I have deniability,' he smirked. 'You taught me the word.'

You rolled your eyes. 'Today's just not my day, huh? Come on, let's kick some wolf ass.'

'No kick!' he chided. 'We deal. They soldiers.'

'Today's really not my day,' you pouted.

You were pissed. Outraged, really.

Plopping your ass down roughly on the barstool of an unnamed bar in an unnamed town, you glared daggers at no one in particular.

Weeks. Your face-thief has been tormenting you for weeks. You were tired as the everloving fuck, she has been disturbing your sleep!

How the hell was she even getting access to your dreams? And that woman would just. Not. Budge! A true politician, if you've ever seen one. Says she can change the world if you just put your vote of confidence in here.

You told her you didn't even have the tiniest, minutest, negligible interest in this "soulmate" of yours, but apparently, she didn't only have a different accent, but her ability to comprehend English also seemed to be very different than yours.

Muttering another stream of curses under your breath at just the reminder of that whore, you flagged down the nearest bartender, ordering a long list you planned to drown yourself in before any feelings caught up to your heart.

It was seriously, and absolutely the worst thing you could imagine happening to yourself.

Catching feelings for a man I'll lose, you bitterly thought.

If you had thought there was even a percent of chance for you to be with him, you're affirmative that you would've sought him out yourself. Because let's be real, it's not like you hadn't known who Dean Winchester is for years now. He was a legend in the world of hunters and monsters, for fuck's sake. Of course you knew.

But you've also been watching all your face-thieves lose their love of their lives, for thirty years now - how could you not be paranoid?

Apparently, that ironclad logic meant nothing to that asshole, insisting you needed to find him. That you needed to give him a chance. In your namesake's words: "You don't know what's actually going to happen, darling. Look, you need to give this a try because if you don't it is going to end unhappy. But if you do give it a try, there's half a chance that it ends happy!"

Another fluent stream of curses left your mouth for that freak of nature. You downed the alcohol that the bartender placed before you in quick succession, earning pitiful glances from the woman serving you.

In no time, you were drunk as a skunk.

Hours passed, and you only looked away from your goal of reaching the end of yet another bottle when a very familiar laugh pierced your reverie. Your head turned to find a group of people nearby, relaxing in a booth. A normal scene of a group of friends in a bar.

Except your eyes widened at the tall man sitting in the booth.

'What the fuck?' you said under your breath.

Because obviously, it was just your luck that you'd find Sam frigging Winchester in a bar which wasn't where he usually went to relax, in a town where you usually didn't go. But here he was, and here you were. 

As if seeing that man wasn't enough, your drunk mind deemed it appropriate to tempt the fate.

With a fuzzy brain and a shaking hand that sloshed your drunk, you marched to the man who didn't do anything to irk you, yet he'd managed to get your last nerve.

'You!' you snarled, your speech slurring, 'I'm gonna fucking murder you!'

In retrospect, that can be counted as your first mistake.

Blinking in confusion, the brown-haired man took your state in, his hand protectively going around the woman sitting next to him, as she looked between you and the younger Winchester.

'Do I know you?' he asked. Doubtful, cautious, and a tinge of fear.

You hadn't actually officially met. You had just seen him countless times in your dreams. Sometimes seen him be murdered, sometimes seen him get happy endings while you and Dean didn't do so well. Sometimes you had even seen him be the reason for the tragedies you had to face. 

'Your brother knows me,' you supplied, not a complete lie; he knew your face-thief. 'And I'm going to—to murder him, and then, you and everyone in your freaking family!' you slurred, grabbing the edge of the desk as you swayed dangerously.

Unknown to your observation, Sam's jaw had clenched upon the reminder of his lost brother. His hands tightened around the woman who had been his light through this dark period.

'Look, ma'am,' Sam stated, polite as ever, 'My brother is dead.'

The heaviness of his statement brought down a silence over the table, dooming the happy atmosphere of the day.

And it certainly didn't help that you decided to rile the man up with your lack of empathy.

'Yeah, right,' you scoffed. 'Why don't you just say you stopped looking for him? Dude, do you know how tough my life has become? All because of what? You stopped looking for him! For what?! This bitch!?' You gestured towards the woman he was holding on to for dear life. Well, your dear life. Sam didn't know what he'd do to you if his girlfriend wasn't sitting between you and him.

'Why don't you leave before you say something you regret?'

If you remember this when you're no longer drunk, you wouldn't be able to claim that he never warned you. Unfortunately, you decided to keep poking the bear.

'Or what? You're gonna make me regret?' you laughed, a little hysterically. 'Listen here, sweetheart,' you said venomously. 'And listen good. 'Cause I know all about you and your life. And so help me God, if you don't find your brother, I'm gonna ruin it for you! Do these people know what you've done!? Or should I enlighten them, preach them all about your endeavours, you blood-sucking freak?!'

That was your second mistake.

'Excuse me,' Sam said, leaving his table and grasping your arm, jarring you as he drug you out of the place. In the back alley, he threw you to the wall.

You cackled. 'Hit a nerve, didn't I?'

'How do you know about that?' he towered over you.

And if you hadn't been so inebriated, you would have realised how much deep shit you had gotten yourself into.

'What monster doesn't know about the Winchesters, eh?'

You let slip you true nature. The last mistake you made in your life.

Sam's transformed into a true hunter, and his hand drew to the knife he kept on him for safety purposes.

Lost in ranting about how annoying of a brother Sam had, you didn't notice the blade until it was too late.

And let's just say: Irony had probably found its favorite love story - because guess who died and went to Purgatory?

A/N: Things are ramping up, huh? You finally meet the narrator of The Supernatural Wars, hehe 🙃 - what'd you think about her?

{P.S.: I think the past-me got way too cheeky with the fourth wall breaking, lmao 😂😂}

Tag List.

@hobby27 @stoneyggirl2 @globetrotter28 @aylacavebear @emma1998sblog

@stanzie

[teranselous]

PSA FOR YOUNGER/QUESTIONING TRANS MASCS & TRANS MEN

I don't know if this is a "tip" that is still shared at all, but it's something I USED to see a LOT as a young egg (closeted/in denial trans man) and since I suffered the consequences of it, I want people to know that this "tip" is dangerous:

Do NOT BIND WITH A SPORTS BRA THAT IS TOO SMALL.

They are not made for chest compression exclusively. They are made to fit snugly all the way around, and this INCLUDES the area around your ribs. If you buy a size down, it will be TOO SMALL for your RIBS.

NEVER EVER DO THIS.

I speak from experience so I will share:

Throughout middle school and even later, in highschool, I wore sports bras that were too small for me.

My ribs would get sore by the end of the day, but it was only for the last class or so, and I had a long school day; I didn't have time to take it off for a while or to switch to another, larger one, so I thought "it'll be fine. Bodies are resilient."

At the time I was so dysphoric and depressed I literally did not give a F if I was in a little bit of pain. There was no way in heck I was going bra shopping (🤮) and there was N O way in heck I was getting FITTED for a bra... (😟)

But as the years progressed, since I stopped listening to my body and I was acclimated to the pain, I didn't really realize until 5 yrs into it that my ribs would hurt... 2 hours into the day.

I couldn't wear a sports bra for 2 hours without pain.

I graduated HS and took a gap year. I wasn't wearing a bra at all during this time, and when I had to wear one again, for a Dr's appointment, THATS when I noticed... "Holy shit this fucking hurts bruh💀".

My ribs would also twinge when I wasn't even wearing one. (They had done this for a few yrs at this point).

I had to concede to buying a new bra (🤮) eventually, and I did about 4.5 yrs ago now.

Now I have one that fits. W. And it's actually hella comfortable soooo W.

My ribs don't hurt as often as they used to, but they still will ache if I twist or lay down a certain way (they sure do be aching rn. which inspired me to make this post).

I have never been to a doctor for it, but honestly I should have gone a long time ago. I have no doubt that I may have damaged the soft tissues if not my rib bones 🙃

Please wear a properly fitted sports bra if you will bind with them. Measure your ribs and purchase one that suits your rib measurement. Buy one for high impact sports. Buy a compression top, on top of that.

But do NOT WEAR A SPORTS BRA SIZED DOWN. (ESPECIALLY DONT LAYER THEM).

Just don't.

Sincerely,

-ouchie ribs mcgee.

(P.S. I'm getting a binder in the mail soon! I'm very nervous though... Even though I sized up, I don't know if I'll be able to wear it because of my history with rib pain. I will listen to my body this time and take it off, obviously. I have better coping skills than I did as a depressed middle/high schooler.)

[dragonclawzzz]

I hurt my knee/outside of my leg? yesterday at the gym. Idk what happened, I got home and it was real sore and then got worse through the day. Woke up today and it's feeling better.

We had D&D yesterday which was alright, we all leveled up like 8 levels at once because of a spell and it's just a lot of extra stuff. Then we got in one battle and my character got one hit and then was paralyzed for the rest of the battle 🙃 I was rolling really badly all night, it was annoying. And we've been working on this one arc of the campaign and we could have been done, finally after months, but another player fucked it up so we're STILL doing the same shit. I just want to be done with that so I can go back to playing my OG character.

Need to do my taxes today 👎

Marc gets a huge bonus from work next week and he was like, I think we should each buy something we normally wouldn't spend money on with some of the money. So now I'm like, oh what do I even want 😂

Tomorrow I have therapy but in person. I've never met with my therapist in person but apparently their office/my insurance is making everyone meet in person once a year now. So I'm sure it'll be fine but it makes me anxious. Plus I have to leave work early to get there and I didn't tell my boss so hope it works out okay!

[runabout-river]

When Perfect Cell announced the Cell Games, he threatened to destroy the earth if he won. When Gohan pushed him into a corner, he makes good on his threats, and self destructs in an attempt to kill everyone.

The common view that the Merger was only ever meant to be a threat has missed the point of the criticism. The fight is anticlimactic because Sukuna died with an ace in his hand. Starting the Merger early was a way for Sukuna to escalate the battle, equivalent to Cell charging up his plant destroying attack.

If the bad guys have a nuke on a timer, you know it’ll be defused with seconds to spare. But before that can happen, the timer has to start counting down, and that never happened. 

So I agree with you there that something has to be done with the merger. Though I wished the timer happened a bit earlier, if even it'll happen.

Good analogy!

The Merger had never been "activated" or as you said it, the timer has not started to count down. It's a big ass threat that just stood there without becoming a real threat to the protagonists even after Kenjaku transferred Tengen's pregnancy over to Sukuna. Last month I said that after the Sukuna fight, the merger arc would start because of the way everything was setup.

Meaning: the merger and the Sukuna's fight were not going concurrently. Sukuna's defeat would not end the merger because the merger plot had not started yet. (Also where is Tengen now? Inside Megumi?) So now, with 3 chapters left, that entire setup (like some other setups) feels cut off.

Not rushed but Cut Off.

And the thing is, no one can tell me that Gege doesn't know this. The guy grew up on the same manga we did, he read Naruto, HxH, Bleach and who knows what else. He's also a movie buff and he has an entire corporation behind him who know their manga stuff and story telling and they can get into his business when they think he makes a bad job of it.

So I stand here believing that we will get a JJK Part 2 because otherwise Gege would've trimmed the fat off his story, right? He wouldn't have dragged story beats and plots forward that wouldn't have the proper time and conclusion, right?

🙃 the only thing left here is to see what he plans with the last 3 chapters. Everything can still happen there... but I'm also hoping for a bombshell anouncement about Part 2.

[rulernogard156]

WELP... had another fuckin panic attack/mental breakdown at work today...

Was out alone on the warehouse floor and everything else from the day just fuckin hit me. Ended up collapsing and stuck there for about half an hour to 45 mins. I literally couldn't move my body, and my limbs felt like a million tons.

Luckily, one of my coworkers found me and helped me up where I was able to get to my now super close friend! (Yes, the one I had a crush on)

She sat with me and helped me through it. It took about 2-3 hours for me to recover, and she never left my side. She's a real one 😭♥️

Anyways that would have been the fuckin end of it until my manager finally dragged me back to the office away from my friend 🙄

I explained myself, and he was "understanding" (not really but this isn't the first time🙃)

My supervisor however, his First fuckin question wasn't, where were you? Are you okay? No

His first question was:

"Did you get the inventory done?"

NO JACKASS I WAS THINKING ABOUT HANGING MYSELF FROM THE RAFTERS!!!!!

I didn't say that exactly. What i did was explain calmly that I had a panic attack, and my friend was helping me through it... he then said, "Well, that needs to get done today."

I snapped "Listen i feel like ur not getting this, but i wanna wrap my car around a tree or jump off a bridge. I'm suicidal and today is not a good day. It will get done, but it'll get done tomorrow."

That shut him up, I hate that I had to fuckin resort to saying that outloud for him to finally get it but fuck🙄

[wenevergotusedtoegypt]

So.

So.

We took 1yo for allergy testing 3.5 weeks ago. Skin testing showed allergies to mustard seed, flax seed, tree nuts, and peanuts. The doctor then did blood tests to figure out the next steps.

We have been calling every single business day for a week (starting 2.5 weeks after the appointment), and every single day we have been told that the doctor will "definitely" call us that day (sometimes even a specific time of day). Yesterday, they told my husband that he had indicated on the chart that he had called me the day before. He absolutely had not.

Meanwhile, as I have emphasized to the office staff every day for a week, my kid is at a playgroup where other kids are consuming his allergens (except tree nuts, because they have another tree nut allergy there severe enough that they aren't allowed) and we have no idea if that's actually an issue. The playgroup is 100% willing to ban everyone from bringing anything necessary, which is great, but we do not have the info to know if it's needed.

So today I get on my daily "be so obnoxious the staff actually do something about this to get me to stop calling" morning call, and the lady tells me that 1yo is allergic to almonds, can do food challenges for all other tree nuts (but no explanation of what that would entail, which seems, you know, kind of important), but the doctor needs us to come back in to repeat the labs for mustard and peanuts "due to lab error" (no mention of flax seeds but ok).

Um. WHAT. It has been 3.5 weeks since this testing was done, I have been calling every day for a week, and only NOW does someone bother to communicate that we need to come back in to retest?! That wasn't something that ANYONE could have bothered to communicate sooner, like, when they initially received the results, or any time over the past WEEK of daily calls?

And I still haven't heard from the doctor himself. 🙃 But he is "definitely" calling today.

Meanwhile another mother who has used this doctor for her child told me that she has never successfully received test results without going in for another appointment. So I'm...just a lil itty bit suspicious about this claim that the lab messed up. It sure is convenient that he suddenly needs to charge insurance for a few more things have us come in again despite us being told for a week that they do have the results.

Anyway.

So excited for the process of obtaining 1yo's medical records from this place so that we can go somewhere else. I'm sure it'll be an absolute joy.

[cementcornfield]

They’re a stressful team to follow so don’t worry about being upset 😭 Take your time but I hope you still enjoy your Sunday and they finally get their shit in order 🫶🏽🫶🏽

🧡🧡🧡

thank you sweet anon for the supportive message, i truly appreciate it <3

god they ARE a stressful team huh. no other team has to compete against the other 31 AND themselves. we bengals fans are stronger than US marines fr fr. you know what's funny? my dad grew up in the cincy area for a lot of his childhood and when he found out i was becoming a Serious Fan he warned me against it 🥲 but i told him this time it was different! with joe!! and it still very well could be!

like as frustrating as days like today are, we're still very early in. and i even said a few days ago that it'll get worse before it gets better. you just are never quite prepared for How Worse it can be 🙃.

but i'm still confident they get ja'marr done, they've just shot themselves in the foot in their efforts to do so so far. whatever, not my money! and of course who knows if they'd even have spent the money they could have saved 🫠. tee i also am still mostlyyyyyy sure about. but that's gonna probably come down to the wire way more than anyone is comfortable with. and if trey is traded, well at least we got something for him instead of letting him walk like the last two defensive stars. and we just have to have faith in the entirely new defensive staff. like that's something at least. they never used to fire coaches! so there's still hope. we just have to crash out a bit first!

oh and we signed cody ford! super bowl here we come!!!

*tbh it IS a good signing. he's a serviceable backup throughout the line but lol. lololol. of course that's today's signing!

[nattikay]

fursuit making roller coaster so far:

Originally I was planning to follow Neffertity's tutorials for the digi feetpaws and feline tail; however, carving the foam for the tail turned out to be much more difficult than I was anticipating. I like the general shape I wound up with but I could not for the life of me get the foam as smooth as I wanted it; it's very rough and clunky and I was getting frustrated.

Never fear though, I decided on a new plan: instead of using the clunky carved foam as the actual core of the tail like I was planning, I'll just wrap it up in a bit of wadding or tape which should smooth out the shape a bit, use that to get a sewing pattern, and then just sew and stuff the tail normally. That means that buying the thick foam and all the time carving it won't be in vain, plus I think it'll make patterning easier anyways (I've struggled in the past with sewing Natti's tail, my current one isn't even one I made myself, I commissioned it from my friend Daisy (who did an amazing job!!) because the one I made was a twisted mess lol). So yay for that!

Even with a modified plan in place for the tail though, after the mess of trying to carve foam for that, I was starting to dread all the additional foam carving I'd have to do for the feetpaws; my confidence had taken a hit and I was not looking forward to the process nor optimistic about the results; was starting to get the slogging feeling of "good grief what did I get myself into wth this project". BUT THEN!! I found the SplitGrapeSode digi foot pattern, which had a similar look to the Neffertity one but required ZERO FOAM CARVING! Just sewing and stuffing! Which! Yeah I can do that!! and so THE HYPE RETURNED and I am feeling a lot more optimistic again lol

Unfortunately, I finally went up into the attic to take stock of how much faux fur I had leftover from previous iterations, and it turned out to be a lot less than I thought. A little over half a yard's worth of white (which, comparing to to the pattern I cut out yesterday, appears to be enough for about 3/4 of a footpaw), slightly less than that of tan and dark blue, and barely a few scraps of light blue. So I guess I have to order quite a bit more, and wait for it to come before I can do a whole lot else. I'll need at least one footpaw finished before I can really start the body (since I'll need it to line up the digitigrade padding shape properly), and I can't finish a footpaw until I have enough fur, and the next big part of the tail will be patterning and furring. so 😅 guess we gotta put things on hold for a short while. I suppose I have enough white left for bottoms of the footpaws, so maybe I'll start there in the meantime, or maybe see if it's enough for the handpaws. We'll see...

thank u to my mom and brother for agreeing to encase me in duct tape for the DTD though. the process was about as fun as I remember 🙃 well at least it's done lol

[aphroditelovesu]

Chapter 12 was freaking incredible 😍 🥹! Things are really picking up! Anywho, I have more thoughts. I'll break it down into a few bits/messages again. It'll probably be over the next few days just fyi..

Part 1: Perdiccas (again)

So, I'm begging to think Perdiccas is either, stupid, crazy or both. He was there for the whole Cleitus incident, so he should know just how angry Alexander will be livid and act accordingly. He also knows that the soldiers have taken the shine to her, so they'll probably be more than willing to help Alexander in any way he sees fit to get her back. It's also bad news for the Persians, but I digress. And he isn't at all suspicious that a messenger just appears with an offer of what/who he wants most?! And they say women are the irrational ones 🙄. Someone needs to slap him and tell him that no one woman is worth all that effort.

There's also how little empathy and understanding he has for our girl. She's told him that she didn't particularly want to marry Alexander, and that she was "choosing herself" and her safety. And he's not mad that she's been forced, oh no! He's mad that Alexander is the one who gets to marry her, have sex with her and impregnate her, instead of him. Its all about him! Like I said before, it's not unlike how some 21st century men act. Some things never change I guess 🙃...

The way he reacted to her being pregnant was honestly kinda disturbing. But I have zero doubts he won't consider what she wants to do with the pregnancy of that she may want to keep her baby. Lovely...

On a lighter note, I love what you've done with Perdiccas and his characterization. I was kinda expecting that it would be a Perdiccas = good and Alexander = bad dichotomy. I clearly underestimated you! This gives the story a lot of nuance, and makes you question who (Alexander or Perdiccas) is worse. I also think it reflects well on who Perdiccas was IRL. Towards the end of his life, he became a ruthless tyrant, which led to his own officers turning on him. I love it all!

That's all I have right now. I have more thoughts, but I'll share them later.

--O-

I guess you can say Perdiccas is all of that. He didn't handle our girl's rejection well and basically lost his mind. Truly a yandere.

He is fully aware of what he is doing, however. He knows the consequences for what he did will be catastrophic but Perdiccas is too consumed by his desire to have our girl that he simply doesn't care. If to have her, even just once, he has to die, then so be it.

Really, he shows no empathy for her and is more upset about the fact that she slept with another man than with him. I'd say he even hates her for it, in a way. Massive drama is coming, anon.

Her pregnancy... I won't say much but I will say this: Perdiccas won't take it very well, as you can see.

Thanks! I debated whether to villainize Perdiccas but ended up choosing to do so because I want to give Alexander more prominence eventually. You only got a glimpse of Alexander's yandere side but this will be explored further, especially in chapter 13 👀.

I will respond to your comments little by little! But I always love reading them! ❤️

[a-writers-blurbs]

Curiosity Killed... The Dog?

See end for preview...

So this week's update is almost done. Unfortunately, next week's update may be a little late. I'm in the process of switching jobs after being forced to deal with some... unacceptable & at times illegal things at my previous job.

I'm going from getting home at 4am to going into work at 4am. And since I'm still getting better job offers, there's a possibility I may not stay at my rebound job. It's not something I think I'll enjoy doing long term. So it'll possibly be yet another schedule change.

Needless to say, my brain is not braining.

On top of that, my roof is being redone, my attic being rebuilt, & insulation put in my house this week. The workers are awesome, but they were here 14 hours a day ahead of schedule so I'm exhausted. 🙃

That's not including the random stressers this week...

2 of my kids are in high school. Yesterday there was a 💣 threat. Today there was an active 🔫 threat. (Everyone is safe & no threat was found)

I had a double blow out the day before my youngest son's birthday, causing us to have to delay celebrating till idk when because I had to fix my car.

My husband's dog (who's already old and sick) got a REALLY nasty skin tear right on his spine that we think caused nerve damage. So we now have to get the money together to get him put down, per vet recommendations (we've seen 4).

BUT on a good note...

My son, who's never played baseball in his life, made the freshman varsity baseball team!! (I'm so happy for him but the price tag is worse than football was 🤦)

So ya... All in all, I've got a LOT going on. The goal is to get Choices pt 2 up on Saturday, then the other two chapters updated in two weeks. Here's a sneak peek at the next chapter!!!

~~Preview~~

While the children continued to discuss their growing worries, a sudden shift in the wind caught Sesshomaru's attention. It was an unnatural shift that made him narrow his eyes in contemplation. After a few minutes of focusing his senses he heard it.

The Mikos screams.

Without a word, Sesshomaru stood and rushed toward the bone eaters well. The scent of the Miko's blood began to waift through the air and Sesshomaru let out a growl of irritation.

He should've gone and waited at the well. He KNEW Inuyasha was unreliable and that once he took off, he probably wouldn't show back up on time. He KNEW the Miko had just as many enemies as she has friends. Enemies that would seize the chance to catch her alone and off guard. Not only was her life in danger, her secret could be exposed! Sesshomaru wasn't so naive to dismiss the possibility of devastating consequences should someone learn of her true origins. The chaos that would ensue should time travel be proven a reality was unimaginable.

He had to hurry. He needed to set things right. It was his fault she was in trouble because he stupidly depended on the half-breed to keep his word. After what felt like an eternity, but was more likely two or three minutes, he made it to the clearing. He knew he needed to be prepared for the Miko to be injured... But what he saw as he walked through the trees had him seeing red.

[no-goodbyes-no-regrets]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

thanks for tagging me @im-overstimulated-and-im-sad

I love wasting time with these things when I'm supposed to be writing 😉

How many works do you have on AO3? In total 262, for tarlos 24 (and counting)

What's your total AO3 word count? 642,739 (holy shit)

What fandoms do your write for? at the moment just 911 lone star/tarlos, but I'm kind of looking into RWRB/firstprince, and depending on a certain mister R. Hawley, I might get pulled back into emmerdale/robron

What are your top five fics by kudos? I'll stick to tarlos for this or else it'll just be 5 robron fics Austin TX first responders week - TK and Carlos have to give a talk about their jobs at a school for Austin's first responders week. Filling in the blanks - a post episode/missing moment of Owen finding out what happened to Carlos in 4x04 See you later - Marjan going to say goodbye to a still recovering Carlos before she leaves in 4x05 - kind of a missing moment It started with a concussion - a meet ugly with Carlos literally running into TK while chasing a suspect Love and Lou - The Lou fic! Vet!Carlos AU meet cute with a little help from Lou I and II

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? Not as often as I should. I never know what to say other than "Thank you" and i just end up reading the comments 50 times over (and i save the emails from AO3) and I'm like I LOVE YOU PERSON LEAVING A COMMENT ON MY SILLY LITTLE STORY YOU MADE MY DAY - but only in my head because i don't want to seem too weird. Idk - I overthink things.

What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? I don't do angsty endings. Though PS I love you is a little bittersweet I guess. TK getting a letter from Gwyn on his wedding day.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? All of them! I need a happy ending - always. But I suppose it was 'earned' the most in California where they both Go Through It before they get their happy ending.

Do you get hate on fics? I haven't on tarlos fics but I did get a hater on one of my anti chas robron fics once. I just deleted the comment.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Not really. I've tried... but it's just not for me.

Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written? Not really. Unless you count the tiny blink and you miss it RWRB reference in Swing swing.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not as far as I know.

Have you ever had a fic translated? Nope but I've translated fics from German to English for a friend yeeeeeaaaars ago - for Luke/Noah from As The World Turns

Have you ever co-written a fic before? I have, several. For Luke/Noah from ATWT way back in the day. it was an Experience™

What's your all time favourite ship? I can't pick just one!

What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? Undercover Carlos - I really want to finish it but I'm so bad at multi chapter fics. I'm bad at planning and I lose motivation and everyone else loses interest. I'm going to try get back to it when I'm done with my flufftober fics (so somewhere next summer or so 🙃)

What are your writing strengths? Dialogue for sure. and cutesy oneshots.

What are your writing weaknesses? Describing stuff. Translating the "picture" I have in my head to words on 'paper' is The Worst. Also planning and plotting a story - I tend to make stuff up as I go (which is why I suck at long multichapter fics)

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? Don't do it unless you speak the language or know someone who does who can check it for you. Google translate is NOT your friend. A few words here and there (like the Spanish terms of endearment in tarlos fics) is fine, you can't really go wrong with that, but for more than that you need someone who actually speaks the language.

First fandom you wrote for? Luke and Noah - As The World Turns

Favourite fic you've written? For Tarlos I had a lot of fun with my Lou fic that I mentioned earlier and The perfect costume has done some interesting things to my insta algorithm, and The power of a muddy dog was fun because I like soft!TK with Buttercup. But all of my fics have *something* that makes them *special* to me.

If you've read all this... I'm impressed lol

tagging: @noxsoulmate @carlos-in-glasses @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut @lightningboltreader @bonheur-cafe @sanjuwrites and and an open tag for whoever feels like doing this because I never know who to tag!

[running-in-the-dark]

I'm gonna go to bed now. I did not get very much done, again. but I guess it doesn't really matter since its definitely too late to get a meeting appointment with my advisor tomorrow anyway (since its 4:00 right now...). so I just have to hope that I'll actually be able to finish it tomorrow. or on Friday. I don't know.

I'm hoping I'll still be allowed to register my thesis application. my advisor said if it's any later than the end of October I'll have to talk to someone higher up at my uni. so, since October doesn't end until Tuesday.... well I'm hoping it'll somehow work out.

there's nothing I can do about it right now anyway - I'm simply not anywhere near done with my exposé, so I'm not able to send it right now. and I realised last night that it's a very bad and pointless idea to try to keep going until I physically can't stay awake anymore. especially since I slept for like 11 hours after that. so, I'm going to bed. maybe I didn't overdo it tonight and my brain will work better tomorrow.

I didn't write that much tonight, so it feels like I didn't do anything. I did, though. I found a lot of really good new articles (most of the sources I already had are from 2021 and earlier), I started printing out some of them (which feels very wasteful and also ironic since my topic is sustainability reporting.. but I realised I just can't work with digital files only, not even if they're on my iPad), I read quite a bit, I got closer to having a usable topic.

it's okay. it's okay. I did enough. I did as much as I was able to. in the end, all I need to do is just enough to pass. I don't care about my grade. it doesn't matter. my average is pretty good, and this won't affect it too much - even if I got the worst passing grade. I also don't care what my advisor thinks about me and how much effort I'm putting into this. obviously, I don't want to seem lazy. but beyond that, why should I care? no matter what happens I'll never see any of these people again after February, I'm not going into academia, I'm not getting my masters, it does not matter. I just have to finish it somehow and pass.

it's really hard to be productive when you constantly have to take breaks to have a meltdown 🙃

[jaderimehardt]

I am back with another post~! 👋🏻

Mother's day is coming up and so is my Mom's Birthday, so I've been working with this tiered jewelry box mold. Originally I got it because I thought it was cute with endless possibilities but after thinking about it for a while it occurred to me, "we have a ton of jewelry too" 😅 "why not make us some?"

So, here I am, with a few bottles of her favorite colors in acrylic paints, trying to figure out how I want to go about it.

There's a "technique" I want to try, that I've never seen anyone do before. I'm fairly positive it'll work in some fashion, but I have no idea how it'll turn out, because again, I've never seen anyone do it before.

In my brain I'm thinking "man if only I could hit the record button and upload this somewhere, but I don't have a stand or rod for my phone" 🙃 "I'll just have to settle for photos and upload them to Tumblr"

[If you've done this before and have a vid out there, feel free to link it. If you're going to make one after, and/or need any info, lemme know, I'd love to see how it goes 😊]

I'll preface this with, I firmly believe in Occam's Razor; it's a principle in problem solving that suggests the solution to an answer is often the most simple one.

I choose to dye my ResinCrete with Acrylic Paint and Mica Powder as they're most available to me and the most affordable (I guess you can see these as the variables?)

That would then make the problem to solve, how to use these in my ResinCrete? This might seem easy to the average person; "Just mix them." Yeah... no.

Mixing acrylic in, you get a plain color, you cannot marble. Attempt to marble, you end up with dried up rubbery bits that can literally be pulled out later and leave behind holes OR the colors can be washed away with water and still leave behind holes. I've already tried this.

Mica Powder isn't much different. You can mix in mica but if chunks are left in, they "blend out" and leave chunky holes behind in your ResinCrete (sometimes that's a desired effect for geode/rock themes) but if you're aiming for a marble effect, it doesn't always work.

I've even tried Concentrated Pigments but it comes out the same as Acrylic paints, only, obviously more concentrated, lol 😅🙃🫠

What's the obvious solution then? Easy. Mix everything with water before adding it to the ResinCrete powder.

You do the same thing when baking, mix all the wets with wets, and the dry with dry, and then incorporate the two together when you're ready.

I made three different things last night, but I'll only show a couple examples. ⤵️

One of my projects required 500g ResinCrete + 150g Water and the other required 200g ResinCrete + 60g Water.

Note: When you add Acrylic paints, it says you can add 1-2g more water (I'm assuming per 100g, but it doesn't specify).

[I personally do add the extra water because it comes out thick and gloopy with more bubbles when using acrylic paint if you do not and has a chance of flash curing. Just be careful not to add too much water because your ResinCrete can become brittle.]

Each project I took away about 10g of water from the overall amount of water being used and added it to another cup to blend with what I'm going to call "Mica Water". You can see in my above picture that all I did was literally add a bunch of mica powder to it and stirred until it was thoroughly stirred with no clumps. This "Mica Water" is going to be what causes the "Marbling".

I did the same with the rest of my water but added my Acrylic Paint to it, until I reached my desired color. This is my "Acrylic Water". Keep in mind that this is going to be severely lightened due to the ResinCrete powder. The shade will be knocked down like, a dozen shades, lol. Again, thoroughly mix this.

I wanted to get pictures of me mixing the ResinCrete but mixing this stuff is a time crunch. I always start with the Water. Then add powder to it, like in baking. Then I add in my Mica Water last. Don't worry about being gentle, or folding in the Mica Water.

At first I folded mine in, thinking "oh I have to marble this because it's mica" but then I remembered "there's water in this". So, no. You have to thoroughly mix it in for that reason (I don't mean stir for like, 3-minutes. Just blend it in quickly, 5 seconds or whatever 🙃)

You start to see the magic happen when you pour it into your mold.

I don't know if it's because Acrylic and Mica are two completely separate mediums that they just... naturally separate from each other. I don't know if it's because Acrylic is heavier and Mica is lighter, so when you mix the two with water like this, Mica floats, and Acrylic sinks- and they separate making both of these pair perfectly together like this 🤷🏻‍♀️

The other thing I've noticed is, you can actually SEE the shimmer from the mica with this in some areas. It's in areas that are not against the mold, but you can still see it. It's making me wonder... what if I add some glitter to that Mica Water? What about some other things, like chameleon flakes, or I don't know... guess I need to think more on that one.

And if it works this well on large molds, I want to see how it works on some smaller ones, like cabochons, gem molds, or pendants. I haven't gotten around to those yet.

Last and Final Note(s): 1. When you mix more than one Acrylic paint together, sometimes the color of your piece will change color on you after a day or two. I mixed a purple acrylic and a blue acrylic together and it went from super blue, to super purple after 3-days time. (I mean, the color will change shades/tones regardless as it cures more, but this was a drastic change from one color to the next.)

2. Your pieces can bleed on to each other when they're still curing, don't let them touch. I stacked some of my purple pieces (thinking they were done curing) next to some minty-green pieces. Checked them a few days later and my minty-green pieces had acquired some purple tinting 😆😅

3. Making this "Mica Water" will 100% dye your silicone cups 😅🫠. In the three instances last night when I made my mica water, each time it dyed mine and I cannot remove the color from my cups (so use cups you're prepared to have this happen with).

[never-not-ever]

So it's currently 3:50am, curious what time it'll be by the end of this (most likely essay of a) post, I mean do you expect any less of me?

So it's 3:50am and I am almost done bleaching and coloring my hair 🙃. I'm actually like really, really excited for this. The bleaching didn't get to a blonde, more like a light peach... I'll post pictures later. But I almost, for a split second was like should I just leave it like this??? Cause I thought it looked good lmao. The bottom had a slight tint of pink. My hair was red last summer.... I'll save the rest of this for the finished product post lol.

So when I think back.. I've been awake since like 3pm Friday and had a 2 hour "nap" this morning. Like for me right now it's Saturday night in my eyes. So in the last 37 hours I slept for 2 of those kinda in the middle. Hmm.... And like I'm not tired. Which is strange. But I'm probably going to stay up til the sunrises around 7, go out and shovel and then come in and go to bed. Or maybe I'll be energized and I'll stay up even longer doing god knows what.

So I did attempt to go to sleep at like 7am this morning but then got stuck in the past. I have legit 2 things in my drafts about this so let me try to make it shorter and sweet. This morning I put a song on repeat to fall asleep to and it reminded me of this past fall and then I thought back to the video diaries I used to make (mostly when I was drunk and emotional). So I watched a couple of them trying to find a specific one cause I had said something that really stood out to me after watching it but I couldn't find that video.

Fast forward through the day, all my errands with my Nana (I'll get back to those) and I'm refilling all the Air Wicks in my apartment, I have like 4, and I didn't realize the scent I chose was one I had back in the fall. So now this, quite lovely scent, is all throughout my apartment and it just feels like I'm back in that shitty time period. Which I guess kind of makes sense? Like emotion wise it's similar. I actually found a different video this morning and started editing it shorter (instead of trying to sleep) cause I vaguely talked about SI thoughts and hopeless and I made a couple good points that I think could be relatable but honestly.. I don't know what was more sad, hearing the pain in my voice back then or realizing that everything I said, how I felt, what I thought back then.. still applies 3 months later.

Anywho I might make a different post of my errands/day but I'll just say this. Me and my Nana left at 11am and we didn't get back til like 6 and I just felt so overly stimulated by her. It wasn't bad, she wasn't that annoying tbh, just talked a lot. In fact I said to her on the drive home "I'm sorry I was irritable today (she actually said to me at one point "why are you so irritable?" 🙄).. it doesn't have anything to do with you I've just been having a hard time lately". Which I don't know if she couldn't hear me or didn't understand what I was saying but I had to reframe it a couple times and thus ended up sounding irritated again 😐.

About a half hour after I got home I FaceTimed with a friend who I haven't talked to/FaceTimed in so long. She lives in NC so I don't get to see her that much. Honestly I felt so hyper the second I got home, like the complete opposite of during the day... Like bouncing off the walls, making stupid "haul" videos of the places I went to as if I was going to make a Tik Tok about it. Speaking of, I also have videos from the beach today-another Tik Tok I wanted to make and I filmed parts of the hair bleaching/dying process. Like back in the fall I did this all the time. All these ideas and videos and never even made them into anything. Just taking up so much space in my phone. I seriously need to clear it out.

Okay it's 4:12, I need to go rinse this out.