#or is this in relation to the last ask i got because that was about s14

[libraford]

Alright, I said I was going to talk in more detail about the city council meeting to sort of like... demystify the process for people that are nervous about getting involved on the local level.

Just for disclosure- my city is somewhat unique in that the city council has a touch more power than the mayor in terms of decision making and this experience may not be the same across the board.

Secondly- I am kind of in the dark about a lot of the legal stuff.

Okay.

So both our city council and board of ed meetings will meet three times on an issue before making any official decision. Citizens can propose things, but I'm not sure what the official process for that is. I'll have to look into that further.

This past meeting was the final vote meeting for a conversion therapy ban. I heard about it through a couple activism groups on facebook. The measure had been proposed before but then struck down with a previous city council.

If you cannot or do not want to attend a meeting for any reason, you can likely message one of the members of the group organizing around the issue and ask them to speak on your behalf. You can then send that person a written version of what you'd like to say.

If you want to attend, you do not have to speak. Attendance is noted. You do not have to interact with anyone.

IF YOU PLAN ON SPEAKING:

There is a section of every meeting set aside for public comments. Anyone can speak. It does not have to be about a pertinent issue. Last time, a guy got up and talked about AI and automation taking jobs when there was nothing proposed about it.

The rules for speaking will be stated at the beginning of the public comments section. Sometimes there is a sign up sheet to speak, sometimes you can just jump in line.

If you want to speak but you're not a great speaker, I PROMISE YOU that you're not the weirdest person to stand at the podium. You are not the shyest, you do not have the worst stutter. This is not a school presentation where you'll be graded on your performance. You are allowed to read from a prepared statement. You can keep it short, and that is actually preferred because ours has a 3 minute time limit.

If you want to be visible and you want to speak, but do not know what to say, there is absolutely NO SHAME in getting up there and saying "I would like to echo support for (bill)." And in fact, that is a good way to start any speech because it makes it clear what your intentions are.

If you DO speak, they will ask that you state your name and your address (its okay if you just state your suburb instead of full address.) There is a roster to put your name and address. They will not harass you, but it has to go on public record if you spoke at a meeting.

Once the public comments section is over, you cannot speak up any longer during the meeting. The council takes the floor. You may sit back down in the audience or you may leave at any time.

If one of the issues discussed is actionable (an amendment, a bill) the council will discuss it openly and vote on it. They will vote on it for every meeting as a way to gauge support. If its the first meeting on an issue and the vote looks grim, the decision isn't final. The council discussion last night focused on things like potential flaws in the amendment, potential abuses of the rules, anonymity, practical things. Our city council meetings are also attended by a law professional, the city manager, the clerk, and other professionals who are capable of answering the more complicated questions.

Final vote meetings can get a bit heated. Last night there were attendees that were booing council members and speakers that were against the amendment. I personally found that a bit rude, but it seemed that this was something that... happens? People get passionate.

After final votes, the meeting continues. Again, you can leave at any time. I stayed because they were talking about things that are related to my job and kinda interesting.

There's a wrap-up where they may discuss decisions made and other social topics. And then the meeting is adjourned and if you haven't left already you can go.

The people who are advocating for positive change WANT you to be involved in the process, at any level. This is the entry level of involvement that ANYONE can do. My hillbilly ass got up there with all my ain'ts and y'alls and they had to listen because I'm part of their public body.

So anyway, that's what its like to talk at city hall. Its scary, but its not so bad if you write it out first, and I think the more people that get involved on this level the more power we can have.

[multiheadcanons]

THE MERCS ACTUALLY WOULD WISH THAT ON THEIR WORST ENEMY

aka: request— the mercs receive an invitiation to their enemy’s funeral

scout: he wakes up one day and checks the mail. didn’t know why he thought to do that today, but it was a good thing. somethings in there for him. from his cousin, no less. weird. he opens it, and sees card stock saying “gather in remembrance for Matthew Hunter Crowsman” matthew…. matthew. that son of a bitch is dead? he is off to a phone. to any phone. begging snipes to take him to the payphone. uses the “i gotta call my ma” excuse because it always works on snipes. when he gets to a phone and makes the call, the second he hears that muffled “hello?” of his cousin through the static he is cackling. “who got the bastard? who ordered the hit??” “oh, you finally get that card i sent ya, jerry?” “received it, read it, laughed. who ordered the hit?” “ma got sick of his shit, man. asked me about a month back, at this point. they found him a couple weeks ago. construction dug the body up.” “you need to dig deeper graves. hey, i know a lady down here, she’s damn good at disposal—” he doesn’t end up going, but he’ll send flowers for the next of kin. matthew hunter crowsman has lived rent free in jeremy willis’ mind since the fourth grade when he killed the goldfish his dad got him at show and tell. it was the only thing he had of the man. well now the fuckers dead. dead by his family’s hands. and he didn’t even have to do it. it’s nice to have a big family sometimes.

soldier: soldier had one woman who could be considered his nemesis, and he found out she died through the obituaries. it was this crotchety old bitch he ran into at the grocery store. she took his favorite box of cereal, the last box of his favorite box of cereal in the only store in town, directly out of his cart. he was not invited to the wake and showed up anyway. looking nice and societally acceptable in his military blues, most family of the deceased asked his relation to the woman. he said he was an enemy. and he’s happy she’s dead. they end up getting him up there for the eulogy. he looks very nice behind a podium, even if he is ranting about a dead woman’s sticky fingers.

pyro: pyro doesn’t have enemies, they don’t know enough people to genuinely not like anyone. but pyro does love a funeral. just shows up to funerals to watch people cry. it’s like a touching film for them. the display of grief born from so much love, so much love never to be seen or felt again… it brings a tear to their eyes. but when that nasty french cigarette addict dies they’re gonna be front row to slam dunk the body into a two foot hole. it’ll be a party for pyro at spy’s funeral.

demo: demo also doesn’t have many enemies. and the enemies he does have at this point are in different continents. and he’s pretty sure they don’t think about him as much as he thinks about them. but he does keep an eye on the obituaries in case he needs to update his shit list and remove those who he outlived. he won those, by the way. those are considered wins in his book. if he outlives you he wins. he’ll send flowers to the next of kin of the first ten on the list. superiority rule and all.

heavy: heavy doesn’t need to go to the funeral! he’s there when they die! he has not had a mortal nemesis he didn’t kill with his bare hands. it’s somewhat sad, as he ponders that more, but it’s the way his life turned out. and he’s okay with that much. he knows some people wish they could say that one day, if at all. he’ll pay a moment’s worth of respect. then he’s moving on. might even be in a bit of a better mood on the outside! it’s a good day when enemies die. it’s one less worry off his plate. he even moves lighter. quicker on his feet. yes, it’s always a good day when an enemy dies.

engineer: engie wants to state for the record that he was a kid. and what happened that day was legally ruled an accident. but engie was never a big kid. he was on the chubby side, but he was never big enough to really hold his own against anyone who would find themselves in the position of being a bully against a conagher kid. and engie’s always had issues with keeping his hands to himself. it took a lot of work to not grow up to be that man. but there was this one kid. james. he wouldn’t leave him alone, and always managed to catch him alone, or off guard. and one day, he just got sick of it. nobody was looking at what was going on on the road. dell just shoved him. he didn’t see the car. the kid died from his injuries a couple days later. and he did go to the funeral. he genuinely didn’t mean to do it. he liked the feeling of satisfaction he got when they told him he was dead though. that made him feel real good. so now he just makes sure the body can’t be found. easier that way for everyone involved.

medic: the doctor had an academic rival. insanely intelligent, incredibly ugly, and much nicer than the doctor. everyone loved this guy. loved him a lot more than they liked herbert. but this guy was a fraud. nobody’s able to prove it, even to this day, that the man is a fraud. there are no controversies, no conflicting scientific research, the man’s got a squeaky clean record; but medic knows in his heart of hearts and his soul of souls that the dude was and still is a fraud and a liar. it wasn’t like the guy was doing groundbreaking research here, either. who cares about cancer treatment? but he was so beloved. so the joy, the cathartic sigh of satisfaction he let out the day he read the obituaries and saw he died from a hit and run… he thanked whatever god was there. and he did go to the funeral. told the team they were going to be down a doctor and dipped. he arrived drunk in his best black. sat in the back and smoked a cigarette. didn’t make a noise. just watched all of these people mourn him. then spit on his grave as they carried it towards his resting place and left. he claims it was the happiest day of his life.

sniper: sniper doesn’t have enemies like that. nor would he go if that was something offered to him. you probably would’ve already lost him at the mere mention of the name. if you insist on telling him someone he doesn’t like is dead, he’s going to respond “oh. that’s... okay then—” and then he will exit the conversation. might chuckle to himself when he’s alone, maybe even shake his head, but after that he’s done. back to business. he does not think about the people he doesn’t like. that’s a waste of mental effort.

spy: spy does a weekly check of the obituaries just in case he sees a name he may recognize. sometimes he does; but he remembers he’s reading the obituaries. and he continues.

[robinnblood]

Explanation

These did just accidentally become short drabbles ngl

*I haven't rewatched some seasons in a real long time so sorry if I'm rusty on the information*

Also I didn't include bigb, etho, and impulse just because I got kinda burnt out at the end (even though I was the most excited about writing bigB, I might do that one day) just know impulse was mostly because of his betrayal in 3rd life

Bdubs- the desolation

Bdubs as the boogeyman likes to get it done with, it doesn't matter if it's an acquaintance or a friend he will kill them, he loses people’s trust with a swing of a sword, even if he wins the battle he doesn't win the war

In last life he fears losing Etho, he's told that he's already lost him and that he's not wanted anymore, he wants to disprove it but before he can he's already dead. In limited life he has the same fear that he's losing except this time he already knows it. His family doesn't love him and he's disconnected from other teams already so he just has to wait and turmoil until it's over.

Gem- the slaughter

She's new, she's fresh, she has potential.

Gem comes into the life series like a riot, immediately becoming the dominant one when it comes to pvp. Everyone already knew she was good but then she made them turn into each other. Two sides are formed in secret life once she starts to stain the server with blood, she killed, and those she killed killed, and they kept killing. She brought terror and heartbreak, people flead, they fought back, but it was no use. She lead those out for blood, she shook the server and started the biggest mass killing that wasn't the end of it all, she brought war

Scar- the lonely

He used to have a friend, in 3rd life, he used to have a friend in magic mountain but the curse of bloodlust leaves him alone, he's rejected by other groups and he dies without friends. He should have a friend in double life, but he doesn't, Grian is desperate to escape Scar and he's aware of it, forever without connection again… secret life is promising, kind of, then he's screwed over by his task, again, and again, it forces people to dislike him, to leave him to himself alone. When he wins secret life he doesn't even register he's alone again, still looking for Pearl, but she's gone. He's the only one to ever survive after a life series but that just means he's now truly alone, with no one to come find him. His only visitors are the tricks his mind plays on him to comfort him with the voices of those he once knew

Grian- the buried

Okay so this is definitely the one people were were asking about the most and I can see why, when you think of Grian he doesn't seem like he would be defined by claustrophobia, you'd probably think the eye but I didn't feel that fit his character much honestly

Grian is weighed down by his debt to Scar, what he does and how he acts is completely changed by his own suffocating guilt. He becomes restricted in what he can do like his wings were clipped, during the war in 3rd life he hides underground in the bunker hoping that being surrounded on all sides will protect him.

During double life he is trapped with scar again but this time he tries to escape, but instead his first death is underground while his soulmate suffocates in soulmates

Throughout the entirety of the life series he is trapped in a cycle of watching his allies die, he knows they'll all die but he can't escape it.

Martyn- the dark

I didn't want to rely too heavily on the watchers but with them in mind, they're an entity that is always hidden in the shadows lurking, Martyn isn't the one watching, he's the one acutely aware that something he can't see is there, hidden in the dark. The watchers are beyond the realm everyone else resides in and martyn takes a step in to it

For some non-watcher related reasons, he's always the one exploring the nether going into the unknown head first

It's never clear where he'll end, always misstepping in the wrong direction, in 3rd life he's loyal to Ren and would give his life forever him yet out lives him, double life he stumbled and landed somewhere he didn't think possible (without a soulmate) because he went in blind, limited life he blinded Impulse and Scott by doing something unexpected and unknown in the life series by not being fair in the final

Lizzie- the vast

Everything going on around Lizzie seems so much bigger than her, she has her own schemes and plots yet she always gets caught up in other people's plots, she dies in wild life because she just happened to be someplace at the wrong time that had nothing to do with her, a whole arching plot of revenge and murder and she was just there…

In last life she dies in confusion with no real idea of why she's even being targeted, in limited life she was only just a small ant randomly placed into a huge garden for a short period of time and taken out again, having to figure out the environment alone as everyone else had a more important goal in mind

Secret life she dies by pure accident forever falling in the vastness of the void as everything moves without her

Mumbo- the stranger

While yes mumbo is sort of a clown that's not why I put him as the stranger

Mumbo is silly guy but because of that it's hard to understand him, during secret life he seems obvious and inviting yet it turns out he had different intentions the whole time

He's nervous and docile but when opportunity rises he'll willingly indulge in chaos and violence, unlike his usual self he becomes bloodthirsty and needy, not wanting to let go of Grian, needing him for himself.

After he dies in wild life he's brought back, but not as himself but as a taxidermy replica, pale skin, glossed over eyes, rotting and drooling. It's someone unrecognizable who doesn't get anxious anymore, isn't worried anymore, not nice, not docile, blood thirsty and willing to betray someone he once cared for in a whim

Pearl- the lonely

I mean c'mon what else was it going to be?

Isolated in a tall tower shivering, looking into the distance to see small moving figures. The only companion is her wolf Tilly but she can't actually talk, Pearl just projects her thoughts on to her and honestly that's even more sad. She's abandoned by her soulmate and the rest of the server is terrified of her. Even when they reunite it's short lived, too short to warm up again

Even when she did have allies they die before her, leaving her to fend for herself in the end, in secret life when it's just her and Scar she doesn't die close and in his blade but out of sight, without even realizing she left.

Ren- the flesh

Ren mutilates himself, in 3rd life he kneels at the altar and willingly chooses to have his head chopped off, leaving him grayed and bloodied, he's no longer than man he was, he becomes rash, angry, and commanding, a husk of what he was, he's the meat being butchered

Even in double life we see how puts flesh on his base, disfigures it to ward off enemies, and calls it home

Wild life is obvious, he changes, tears apart, and stitches his body back together to hold on closer to martyn, his body becomes a corrupted meat pile with a voice that's not quite his anymore

Skizz- the spiral

Honestly surprised with myself that it took so long for me to get Skizz’s when it was right in front of me

Skizz spirals, he loses, he gets lower, he dies, and then loses again. After getting on his red life he starts to get manic, impatient, he needs blood.

In 3rd life he joins the red army, not out of violence but out of loyalty but he then he dies and he rushes into battle without another thought, he does it again and again, limited life he starts out with love in his heart and tries to give compliments and joy out, but then he's killed. And he's killed again right after by someone he thought he was going to team with, that's when he gets mad. He seeks out revenge and murder

He never starts violent, but all his deaths are in bloodlust

Scott- the corruption

Even though the corruption most of the time manifests with sickness and disease it also appears in unhealthy love, companionship, and loss of individuality

Scott throughout out the life series has been known for sacrifice and the support of his allies, in 3rd life he loved Jimmy to a sickening degree and died because of it, last life he was infected with the boogeyman curse and he let it take him down to his red life rather than get rid of it. Double life he had his unhealthy love with Pearl where they would harm each other but were bound together no matter what. In limited life when he's the boogeyman again he does the opposite and gets rid of the infection right away, ruining the fun.

He starts to loose his identity over the season, giving, giving, and giving more of himself to others so they have a better chance of winning, he's less prone to killing if it's not for an allie or self defense, since winning he has no attachment to the games

Joel- the extinction

Joel was a lone wolf in 3rd life, he didn't have long term allies yet was in the war that took place, he burnt walls and killed no one, the only sign of him was his lonely dogs lost in the desert after all humans had died. It was like an apocalypse had happened

Afterwards in last life he killed people every opportunity he got adding to the end of the server. Double life he burnt everything destroying just the people but their homes and civilization. He might've died early in limited life but he left craters in the earth like the aftermath of war.

But once he let go of his bloodlust and made a major change to be peaceful is when he finally prevailed and survived

Jimmy- the end

This one was easy and I had no trouble with it, for obvious reasons, he's been dead first almost every time and when he isn't he's closely trailing behind, it's always too soon, too inevitable, his story is always a cliffhanger, not even being able to see who won since he died a session before

But also, he's determined and he runs from death or in other cases actively searches for it, he wants to kill people so bad just for the rush, his pride, to prove he is more than a death loop and has effects on others, so much so that he forgets about life, he doesn't know anything about what happens after he died, how people grieve him

He'll never understand true war and bloodshed like the slaughter, he just knows the stop of a heartbeat

Tango- the desolation

The desolation manifests in heat and burns, a flaming candle, it is pain and destruction

In 3rd life he makes one mistake and is forced to dance with fire, dodge flying arrows when backed against a wall, and wear the helmet that caused this. Cruelness for the sake of it. Last life he became the flame, angry and hot, he gave kindness and was faced with cruelty, so he gave it back. In double life he meets his soulmate because of loss, he dies a pointless death and his soulmate is lost because of a pointless loss too in the end… he has destruction thrown at him and so he throws it back full force, just like last life he's angry and destructive… all over again.

Secret life is full of flames, his home burning up, and he dies like that too, pointless cruelty

Cleo- the spiral

Deceit is what Cleo despises in the life series, throughout the seasons she has faced betrayal and patterns within people

In 3rd life Ren betrays her for someone that's not even loyal to his cause and has to figure out of impulse is really on their side, she doesn't let go of last life, double life she leaves their soulmate because he's an untrustworthy soulmate, in limited life she can't trust etho with their children and bdubs because he's too loyal to etho

She has the constant theme of being cautious with people because people are so deceitful to them which leads to spiraling

If you read all that let me know which one you agree with the most

Life series members as TMA fears:

Bdubs- the desolation

Bigb- the eye

Etho- the hunt

Gem- the slaughter

Scar- the lonely

Grian- the buried

Impulse- the web

Martyn- the dark

Lizzie- the vast

Mumbo- the stranger

Pearl- the lonely

Ren- the flesh

Skizz- the spiral

Scott- the corruption

Joel- the extinction

Jimmy- the end

Tango- the desolation

Cleo- the spiral

[foxena]

Prevent loss in case of save corruption »

Corrupted saves are getting more and more common in this community. My save corrupted just the other day when I tried solving bugs related to For Rent. Thankfully, I had been warned and therefore I lost very little.

So to keep spreading awareness, and possible solutions, here is what I did that helped me save my savefile.

1. Backup everything!

Make sure you keep backups of your savefiles outside of the game—on your desktop, an external drive, or the cloud. If you want to be extra safe, keep it in multiple places and keep multiple versions with notes on what's what. Do NOT rely on the in-game "Recover Save" feature, because if your save is corrupted, chances are the recovered version is too.

2. Don't ignore Last Exception errors

Make sure to have MC Command Center and Better Exceptions installed. These mods will give you more information about in-game errors.

If you get an error, look it up! This is what saved me. The error might be game-breaking, or it might not. There are multiple tools you can use for this. Personally, I asked for help in Deaderpools Discord server. Another option is to use The Sims 4 lastException Assistant.

3. Try to recreate the Last Exception error

If checking the Last Exception error hints at possible corruption or you're not sure what it means—basically if you can’t tell it’s TOTALLY safe—try recreating it.

Step 1: Check if the Last Exception error is mod-related

Remove all mods except MC Command Center and Better Exceptions. Take your latest backup from before the error appeared and place it in your save folder.

Load your backup save and see if the Last Exception error appears. If the error doesn’t show up, this suggests either:

The error is likely mod-related.

Or the original save (not the backup) is corrupted.

If the error does show up on the backup, try using an earlier backup or see if you can trigger the Last Exception error in a new save.

Step 2: Check if the original save (the one with the error) triggers the error without mods

Load the save with the error (not the backup) and try triggering the Last Exception error without mods.

If the error doesn’t show up without mods, it’s likely mod-related.

If the error still appears without mods and doesn’t show up in your backup, assume the original save is corrupted. Stop using that save and switch to your backup to avoid playing in a potentially corrupted save.

Final Thoughts

This is a pretty extreme approach, but it can help if you’re worried about save file corruption and want to avoid losing progress. Keeping multiple backups and regularly watching for exceptions is likely a good way to catch problems early.

Here’s the Last Exception that likely corrupted my game and would have made it unplayable if I’d kept using the save (it slowed my game down drastically):

[manus] business_service failed to handle zone load due to exception (AttributeError: 'NoneType' object has no attribute 'lot_template_id'), CategoryID: persistence_service:685

Tips to Avoid Save File Corruption

Let's end this monologue with a few general tips to avoid corruption altogether—because ideally, we wouldn’t need to use the process I described earlier.

Check Manage Households and delete unneeded NPCs. The game constantly generates new townies, and over time, they clog up your save.

Delete random objects left lying around in the neighborhood. I use the Destroy Object Cheat for this.

Sims’ in-game photographs take up a surprising amount of space. Don't hoard photos! Only keep a few per household.

Large homes with tons of clutter and objects can bog down your game. Delete lots you don't use, or keep them simplistic.

Residential rental lots have a lot of issues. Avoid using them altogether for now, or be very careful and keep a lot of backups.

Use "Save As", instead of "Save", regularly to create a fresh save. Overwriting the same file multiple times can bloat the file and slow down your game.

I hope this helps! If you’ve got any other tips that worked for you, feel free to share!

[greenwitchfromthewoods]

nymph. [part 6] l General Marcus Acacius

Summary:  you have been with him for a long time, but he has never seen you. but everything has changed.

Warnings:  fluff, a little bit of smut and angst, wondering about a potential pregnancy, gods and mythology are treated in a simple way

A/N: I haven't written this series in a long time. My head has been occupied with other things, I guess… I'd like to finish it. A series I didn't plan on. Maybe some of you will stick with me to the end. Thank you for that.

I hope you will be gentle with me. your feedback is very important to me and I thank you for all the reblogs, comments and likes. 🖤 sorry for all the mistakes

nymph [masterlist]

"What do you mean? A wedding?"

Marcus kissed your hands and looked at you with a mixture of tenderness and concern in his eyes. As soon as he got home he was urgently called by Brutus and since then something was clearly worrying him. 

Although you asked, he dismissed you with answers that it was nothing, or that he would solve everything himself, that you shouldn't worry. However, things must have taken a turn for the worse, because that evening he asked you to talk.

It was a warm and quiet evening. The garden smelled of flowers, and you found a secluded place by the pond. It was there that the words about the wedding were said.

"Marcus, you know I don't need this." You said, squeezing his hands tighter. "I love you with all my heart, being by your side is enough for me."

"I know, my dear." he sighed "And I don't want anything more than every other day with you, but... There were some complications. Emperor Geta, and a few other senators, noticed you during the last gladiator fights." And he told you everything Brutus had told him. 

Your presence in the coliseum didn’t go unnoticed. Several senators caught sight of you, began to wonder where you were from and what connected you with General Acacius. At first they thought you were his lover, a slightly better-off slave. 

Marcus did not hide his indignation when he said these words to you. However, someone led them to the fact that you were free. And since you were free and had no official relations with General Acacius... Emperor Geta heard these rumors and even summoned Marcus to his place to ask about you.

"I didn’t like it." he muttered "He asked about you, and I felt my blood boil. I want you to be safe, my love, but this man will strive to have access to you. I don't know what made him come to us, it was some whim of fate. I was naive and stupid... I shouldn't have taken you to that place then."

You squeezed his hand tighter. "It's not your fault, Marcus. None of this is your fault." You said quietly. "I was deluding myself that we would live together away from all this, but it's your world that sets the rules for us. I don't want you to have problems because of me."

"Problems?" he snorted. "It's just the whims of a child who pretends to be the ruler of the world. He would be nothing if it weren't for me and the army." and then as if he caught himself on those words, he closed his eyes. "I'm sorry, you shouldn't have listened to this..."

"You know perfectly well that what you say is safe with me forever." You slid off the bench and sat down by his lap, resting your chin on his hands. "I'll do whatever it takes, whatever you expect of me. I'll be who you want me to be if it only protects you too."

His warm hand stroked your cheek, and you snuggled into it with pleasure. "I want you to be yourself, to be safe..." Marcus said "Marriage will allow me to protect you."

"So let's do it."

A faint smile appeared on his lips, he sighed quietly. "I don't know what I did that by the grace of the gods you appeared in my life."

"Or maybe it's a giggle of fate?" you mumbled, kissing his hand.

"I'll take it without batting an eyelid, if I can spend the rest of my life with you."

Word of General Acacius's impending wedding has spread throughout Rome, probably thanks to Brutus, who has mobilized all the friends he can trust. According to him, Marcus and you had been planning your wedding for a long time, and the promise of marriage was made before he returned to Rome.

"You know how it is! Acacius fought wars and conquered lands, marriage was not on his mind. But then the gods mocked him and sent him this woman. The boy fell in love!" Brutus said to everyone who asked him why the wedding was taking place in such a hurry. "There's no point in waiting! The descendants of his family should be born as soon as possible."

Aurelia, Brutus' wife, had taken care of everything at her husband's request, and you praised her for it, because you had no idea what was going on. You felt like an outsider when you listened to the orders she gave the servants, and when she asked you for your opinion, you weren't sure what to say. Marcus was the one who made the most important decisions, you trusted him.

Meanwhile, your thoughts were occupied by something else. Melitta. You hadn't had the opportunity to talk to her in private since that evening. Every time something interrupted you, or she was so overwhelmed with duties that she quickly left you. 

"You seem nervous." Marcus noticed on the morning before your wedding day. "Is something worrying you, my love?"

You shook your head, not wanting to burden him with your problems, because he carried a lot on his shoulders already. You overheard him telling Brutus about his unpleasant conversation with Geta, that only his service to Rome saved him from his wrath.

"He won't leave you alone until you marry that girl, Marcus." Brutus muttered. "You're like a son to me. You love her, I know that, so do what would have been inevitable anyway."

"This is not how I imagined it..." Marcus' voice was a bit resentful. "I wanted her to feel alive. To experience everything..."

The sound of footsteps and the creaking of a chair meant that Brutus sat down. "And you can still give her all of that. Your whole life ahead of you! You're both young, in love!"

Marcus snorted. "I don't want her to feel forced into this wedding!"

"Remember, I was the one who talked you into appearing with her in public. She would have sat hidden in this house forever for you. Children would have started to appear and what would you have done then, huh? Don't look at me like that! I was young and I know what goes on behind closed bedroom doors." Brutus chuckled, and you felt the heat pour into your chest and neck. 

You knew what he meant. All those closenesses with Marcus, at night and during the day, his hands never leaving your body, his cock buried deep inside you, the seed he left inside and which later flowed lazily down your thigh. You had lived in this world for hundreds of years, you had observed people and gods, you had seen pregnant women, you had been present at births and deaths. But what if?

A dark thought like a cloud covered your mind. You no longer heard what Brutus or Marcus were saying. Your feet led you to the garden where you sat under a spreading tree, lost in your dark thoughts.

Could you even give him children? Could your womb create a new life, a life that would be the sum of you and the man you loved so much? Minerva had made you human, but did that mean you were already completely like them, with all their flaws and good qualities? You didn't think about it that way. 

Ever since you stood before Marcus' eyes, life had swallowed you whole, but at that moment you really started to wonder. You were mortal, your veins were pumping blood. You remembered how you had injured yourself while doing some housework and only Melitta had bandaged your hand, because you were too surprised by the sight of blood. You remembered your first monthly bleeding, but what if it was just a whim of your body?

You knew that Marcus dreamed of children. He didn't have to say it, but you saw it in his eyes. He was also at the age when a man wanted to have his own offspring, someone to whom he could pass on his name and teach what he himself knew.

And what if you couldn't give it to him? What if you were just...

"My lady!" quick steps and calls distracted you, you hastily wiped your cheeks and stood up, revealing yourself to Melitta.

"I'm here." you said, trying to smile, and you allowed her to drag you into the preparations.

"You're nervous." Aurelia smiled and looked at you fondly. "I remember when my daughter got married, she was scared too. And I was too, although we're lucky and we marry those who are meant for us."

"Do you think so?"

Your voice must have sounded uncertain, because Aurelia stopped adjusting your white robe and carefully took your chin, lifting it so that you looked into her gentle eyes. 

"My child..." she said. "I've known Marcus since he was a child and I know that his heart belongs to you. His feelings are sincere, strong and true. The gods created you for each other, I'm sure of it."

"I don't want... Aurelia, I don't want Marcus to be ashamed of me. I know that I don't fit in this place..."

The older woman thought for a moment, then said. "You were at the temple yesterday, right?" you nodded "I'm old now, but I believe that we get what we're meant to. And you were meant to meet. You couldn't run away from it, child. Accept what the gods gave you and live by the side of the one you love. Because you love Marcus, right?"

"Oh, Aurelia!" your eyes filled with tears "I would do anything for him."

The woman smiled and stroked your cheek. "So let's thank the gods for this love."

The gold ring sparkled on the ring finger of your left hand, and you stared at it as if you couldn't believe that it was Marcus, dressed in white and gold, who had put it on. You could still feel the sweet taste of wine in your mouth, you could hear the buzz of the guests' conversations, but the only thing that mattered was the warm gaze of the man to whom you had given your life.

“What is it about this that I can’t take my eyes off?” you asked as he entered the bedroom and walked over to the bed.

"A promise." Marcus replied, tenderly stroking your cheek with his fingers. "A promise that we will always be together. That I place my life in your hands."

You knelt on the bed and took his face in your hands. Silver strands of hair mingled with dark ones, you saw small scars and wrinkles, you stroked his cheek covered with stubble. His face could be a model for butchers, and he was only yours.

"My life belongs to you." you said quietly, your lips brushing his "Forever."

"That's the most beautiful thing you could give me." he smiled.

His hands carefully slid your clothes down, revealing your naked body. No matter how many times he saw you naked, he always felt the same delight. And you felt the same. Your fingers deftly stripped him of his clothes, and soon his warm, sun-kissed body was on top of you. 

For a soldier, Marcus could be an incredibly gentle and tender lover. Devoted to you and what connected you. Adoring you as much as goddesses and gods. Sometimes you thought he sinned with such words, but over time you understood that only they could express what he truly felt.

"Even before I slid that ring onto your finger," he said, kissing your neck, "I already knew you were mine. You were mine before I first saw you. Before I even learned your name."

"What if I had never revealed myself to you?" you asked, sliding your fingers through his soft hair, he raised his lust-darkened eyes to you, "If I had never stood before you in mortal form?"

"I don't want to think about life... about this illusion of life that I would have to lead without you. I felt you, my love. And nothing and no one would be able to satisfy my hunger."

You kissed him, hard and deep. With all the strength of the feeling you had for him, with the promise of the life that you were now going to share in two. You wanted to give him everything - your love, your devotion, your loyalty, your womb and the children that could come of it. Or if they ever did. 

You lost yourself in his body, in the way he caressed and worshiped you. Bodies tangled together, him moving hard inside you, your sweet moans filling his ears. He left his seed so deep inside you that you could only hope that you would be able to give him what he so desired.

Your quiet footsteps were almost inaudible as you walked through the sleeping household. Marcus was fast asleep, unaware that you had left your bed, but you had to do it eventually. You pushed open the heavy door and entered the servants' part of the house. You quickly found Melitta's room and quietly slipped inside.

She wasn't asleep, but you didn't seem surprised. The sweet scent of herbs filled her room.

"I was expecting you." she said quietly. "What do you want to know, my lady?"

"How did a nymph become a slave? How did you end up in Marcus' house?" you asked, feeling your insides clench.

A lazy smile appeared on the girl's beautiful face. "You're afraid, aren't you? You're afraid that you'll end up like me... Broken, abandoned, without the one who promised you love forever."

You frowned. "Marcus, he would never..."

"He's a mere mortal." Melitta hissed, her eyes lighting up. "He's weak. His body is already slowly dying, and we gave up our immortality for people like that..." 

You approached her slowly. The smell of burning sage and other herbs filled your nostrils. "What did they do to you, sister?"

"Everything they promised not to do."

☆☆☆☆

Thank you for your time.

@ashleyfilm @gothcsz @littlenicpascal @missladym1981 @axshadows @psychoenergy @sabsunflowergirl @pedrofan @heckzprince @hard-candy-writing @mynameisbaby9 @94namkooksworld @bbyanarchist @picketniffler @tranquilty @psyched2b @jeewrites @tuquoquebrute @aotfantasmagorias @mynameismothra @kluvspedro @fefa-la-printcessa

[carmenized-onions]

It’s been a little while since you’ve posted on here so I hope you are doing well and taking care of yourself!!! 💖

my darling loves, I'm so sorry

I'VE BEEN SO EMBARRASSED. I HAVEN'T WANTED TO SHOW MY FACE AROUND THIS TOWN BECAUSE I'VE GOT NOTHING TO SHOW FOR MYSELF AFTER TAKING SUCH A LONG TIME AWAY FROM YOU ALL.

I've been. violently busy. in a good way, mostly. One of my jobs is the best job in the world and the other one is such a bitch it makes me scream every day forever.

but i'm also spending time with friends and enjoying life !

My mom also finished her last chemo appointment just a few weeks ago!!! YIPEEE!!!! Her CT Scans look GOOD!! so no chemo for the foreseeable future. She's unfortunately got the type of cancer that doesn't go away, but at the very least, it's MANAGEABLE. And that's a huge win. I'm very very grateful.

I ALSO FOUND A THERAPIST!!! gone to 2 sessions so far. every session she uncovers a new fucked up facet of me and honestly, can anyone else relate to this, it's sort of nice for someone else to look at your life and go like "oh wow. oh wow there's like. there's like so much here." like it feels good to think oh hurray. i'm not crazy. life IS fucked!

MY BROTHER MOVED!!! this took up a lot of my time, honestly. i love him and my nephew and my sister in law dearly. so i spent a long time making their gifts. i'm silly.

OUR CAT GOT SICK!!! HE'S GOT PEE CRYSTALS CAUSE HE'S OLD!!!!! HE'S DOING OKAY NOW THOUGH!! HIS STUPID URINARY FOOD IS SO EXPENSIVE THOUGH!!!

ANYWAYS. those are my major life updates right. So what's with the no chapter happening??

i. hated. the draft i'm working on so much. that i didn't work on it for like. a month.

and then in a haze. i left myself this voice to text note in my notes app as i was falling asleep one night.

then i hated that too. a week passes. perhaps two, actually.

i finally gain the courage one night to read my draft over.

it's actually not bad at all

it's actually pretty good

some scenes definitely need reworking but that's because i need to fully realize some character feelings

I just had really intense writers' block and fatigue, honestly. But i'm finally writing and EXCITED about it, again. I'm pulling that shit up on my commute and writing whenever i can. which makes me really happy. i was not loving the way it felt like a chore, for a minute there.

that said.

100% going to be more realistic with this chapter waiting timeline, and put a 'hiatus' or some sort of 'delays' tracker on my landing page. cause like. i keep saying check back in 2 weeks. and that's not fair to me or you girl. let's keep it real.

i think we're like.... hm... 50-60% there. (i'll update my landing the day after this post, it's late and i'm eepy)

i MIGHT write some blurbs in the mean time, it really depends. i keep having ideas and then they blink out of existence. perhaps send ideas. i might do something with them.

BUT YES I AM OKAY AND ALIVE. My silence came from a LOT of life stuff getting in the way and also a lot of honestly embarrassment. i hate coming out here over and over and being like haha. i've got nothing <3

but i know that y'all will understand, and i need to trust in y'all's patience more. and i'm GONNA!!!

gonna try to start up my 'answering one ask a day' trend again. except wednesdays. i work late on wednesdays so fuck that. but perhaps all the other days you'll hear from me.

alright. i'm going to shut up now. was any of this coherent? i don't know. thank you for listening!! i missed you dearly!!

[ariemfox]

ASK FOR YOU: for my story i’ve been considering this, but you’re way better at these characters than me so i’d love your insights:

What kind of relationship do you think Chase and Adam’s have? I feel like Chase and Park’s friendship is pretty easy to see and understand and gets a lot of focus, but Chase and Adams to me seem weirdly disconnected — we’re told by House and Park they flirt and are kind of into one another, but I’m not sure we really see it from them. I’m ultimately not sure if I’d call them friends or colleagues or what, but I could also be completely wrong and missing a whole dynamic. What do you think?

oof so this is something that my penpal friend/mutual (an all-round absolute legend) have discussed a whole lot, so these ideas are kinda of our conflated thoughts.

the thing about chase & adams is that though they are distant, they understand each other almost intrinsically. so to understand their relationship, we need to look at their similarities and differences.

they both have exes and know what it's like to be divorced and abandoned by them. they also have similar backgrounds: adams is from a rich & old american family (implying related to the presidents with the last names of adams), and chase is also from a rich family with his famous dad. they both have priveleged lives in that sense, but have hugeee guilt complexes to go along with that. whilst chase's guilt complex tends to surround catholic themes bc of the way he was raised, adams' guilt is focused upon her rich privelege (and how she feels she doesn't deserve it compared to other people) and crucially, her parents.

this brings us on to another similarity, their families. we all know that chase's family was a shithole, end of discussion. but with adams, it's a little more complicated. now, this is where it gets v meta so hold on to me here, bc it does make an insane amount of sense.

in the 'parents' episode, house is on a miasion to find out what adams' parents did to Fuck Her Up. she reveals she ran away at 16, and adams insists that it was not because her parents were abusive or 'screwed her up' like house says, it was because when compared to her friends' neglectful/abusive parents, she 'envied their dysfunction' bc she thought 'it made them deeper somehow'. she moved in with an older guy at SIXTEEN (might i add that chase also fucked the groundskeepers wife in his weird english priest boarding school too, another dodgy similarity). and apparently, her parents never got over her running away.

first of all, what normal, well-adjusted person thinks this. second of all, it definitely speaks to some kind of some kind of wmotional gaslighting on her parents side. the amount of excuses she makes for her parents, and the shows emphasis on making the emotionally-abused patient in 'runaways' adams' mirror, this is adams' character episode where she gets personally involved and constantly tries to excuse the patient's mother's behaviour. my lovely friend/mutual @x-birdsong-x explains this beautifully in this tumblr post if u want more details:

there is an almost innate sadness to adams that's only ever implicity shown. her life feels very... empty - we know almost nothing about her background bc she's so evasive about it, particularly when compared to park. take the scene in parents where chase asks what her parents did to fuck her up, and she evades the question by joking they did white-collar crime & human trafficking. whilst chase is honest when he tells her his mother locked him in his father's study as a child, but disconnected; all clinical facts and no feelings, adams lies/evades and gets snappy and defensive whenever someone brings it up. we see this multiple times throughout parents.

she's crafted her persona into a rich kid who doesn't deserve her privelege, who gives back to others/save lives to help those less fortunste to her. she feels like she has to balance the scales, ig. she heals out of guilt, as a way to wallow in her misery and martyrdom. contrast this to chase, who heals and gives back for a personal distraction ("Only so many hours you can cry and bang on the door before you give up, find something to read. We all have family dysfunction. That's why we're successful. To fill that hole."). they have similar pasts, but different responses. in a way, adams is like who chase would be if he went down a different road.

there is an almost innate sadness to adams that's never explicitly shown but very much implied. whenever chase and adams have conversations one-on-one, there's frail, tentative empathy between them. their similarities mean that they understand each other on a deep, personal level (quite similar to chase & thirteen, but with less friendship involved) however, bc chase is so factual, and emotionally-distanced from his childhood and his divorce - they only ever hit him when he's looking at either his dad or cameron in the face - and adams is so evasive, reactive, tempremental and snappy when confronted with her side of things... they've never truly connected. they have the same roots but have branched off to opposing sides of the tree, they are like ghosts, alternate versions of the deepest untouched parts of each other. i think that's how i'd describe their relationship.

i think house clocked on to the fact that it's intimate, particularly in 'we need the eggs', bc they are so alike. adams obviously felt this vague sort of empathy between them too in this episode, seeing as she asks chase out for drinks 'for a change' - she wants to get over her issues - but chase declines because he's not over cameron. whether this was romantic though? it wasn't for chase, but i don't think adams really knew; she doesn't show romantic/sexual attraction to him, all i think she knew is what house noticed. that they had some sort of connection, and adams wanted to explore that, to find someone who understands.

i think ur right in that they're disconnected. they could connect but they won't, and it's also a different kind of intimate than to what house inferred. they are like long-lost siblings who shared a childhood, but time has changed them so much that they struggle to face each other honestly. they are a reminder to each others' pasts, and i don't think chase completely likes that (in s8 anyway), he doesn't like the idea of what he could've become. but adams - who has felt alone her whole life, disconnected from her peers, disadvantaged patients (who had it worse in her mind), and colleagues prior to s8 - wants to connect with someone who gets what it's like. even if she doesn't completely get it, bc although she's come to terms with the divorce, she hasn't yet accepted how her parents impacted her by s8.

sorry for how long this reply is!! they are so interesting to me. i hope it kinda helped tho? lmk ur thoughts if u like (:

[luigilore]

hi, so in relation to your post about physical touch when you’re someone who’s used to being touched clinically and stuff.. i wanted to tell you that it moved me a lot, so thanks <33 i’m the anon who wrote a few days ago abt chronic pain, idk if you remember

but it got me thinking about how when you’ve lived most of your life in pain, your perception of sensations is so messed up. enjoying basic things like touch can be a very difficult task, and it sort of feels like you have to unlearn so many pain patterns just to be able to feel certain stimuli normally. like for me, i’m just a girl w a lot of issues in my pelvic area, and just speaking from experience, it was so hard to learn to tolerate and later enjoy sexual sensation and touch, just because your body is so used to pain there. and that’s kind of what moves me so much about lu, just the fact that i know he understands. cause pain in those areas is so stigmatized and isolating (for men and women, i think), so it really takes someone who really cares for you to work with you through it. like i just really hope there was someone in his life who he could trust with that, who was gentle with him and patient and touched him with care. it just got me feeling this strong (very emotionally charged) urge to touch him so gently and softly that he can doze off. to just touch and hold him with so much care that he can release all the tension. could be sexual or not, it doesn’t matter. just being close to him and taking care of him however he wants. kind of breaks my heart a little bit :(

ah omg hi dear im so glad to hear from you again! ofc i remember you!! i'm very sorry i have been moving at snail pace answering ur request (and this ask), i just really want to do it justice! i so appreciate your kind words from last week <3 and i am so happy that you enjoyed it, that feeling was def drawn from my own personal experience...

you really put it in such a lovely and eloquent way, you have a way with words!!! you articulated a lot of feelings i've had but struggle to express... when i got a massage earlier this year, i realized how adverse i am to touch now and it was so unenjoyable like i was tense the entire time bc im so used to expecting pain! (so that inspired that blurb)

and ugh yes... my heart... i also sooo hope he had someone like that (as i would love someone like that in my life lol)!!! but yes i think like something im so stuck on w lu is just physical (and emotional) intimacy with him in particular would be so important in ur relationship and something i think he would really value... maybe he didn't even know he valued it until he met you but...

you always seem to just know and if you don't, you always gently ask, you're patient and soft but your touch is never tentative, it's always entirely filled with love. i feel like he would struggle at the beginning of ur relationship to be this vulnerable physically bc he's never had that opportunity before, like feeling so safe/comfortable in someones arms that he can fall asleep?? i think he really craves this closeness even taking chronic pain out of the equation but yes, the layer of your patience and kindness and softness with his back would mean sm to him... i think he would sometimes get in moods where he feels like he doesnt deserve u (tbh kind of relevant but after learning about stoicism in class i totally see how he went down that rabbit hole as a man with chronic pain) i think he would struggle to articulate his needs/wants ESP related to his pain but ur so good at reading him that that's honestly okay... u can always tell when he grits his teeth or furrows his brows, or subtly rubs at his back or hip....

but i think the trust and love would just be really beautiful... and the communication; being there, listening to him, just validating the existence of his pain and struggle... <//33 my heart

sorry this is all over the place... anon i promise i am writing something about lu and chronic pain... it started off as hcs but i have sm ideas that i am currently drafting/writing an actual fic! i used to write like 5-10k wc fics so i am dipping my toes back into that hehe <3 but also i might end up posting some hcs too! thank you again for ur asks and kindness, it's really great to connect with someone else with chronic pain! <3

[coffeegnomee]

Sorta related to your last post and it goes without saying, but who you watch on Lifesteal makes so much difference on what you want to happen. I was watching Lifesteal back in s3 but only from Rek’s vids and occasionally a Branzy or Clown vid too (notably funhouse and casino stuff), but since Rek wasn’t huge into lore it was just another thing I watched, kinda comparable to a very competitive hermitcraft. The video that my perspective has changed on the most since then was easily Rek’s cleansing video. Even back then, Rek was very compelling when watching him and even after the bit where he was like “they got everyone back to 10 yipeee” I was dead set that the cleansers were power hungry lunatics, and it was only when I started watching again last year I realized how much more was going on. The same thing happened with his abyss arc video, which I watched before watching all Zams abyss + Joker VODS and I thought Jumper was so justified in the betrayal, then watched the VODs and flipped sides completely ( no way Imissabyssarc likes the abyss??). In s6, I can barely watch videos framing Zam as awful (coughcoughflamefragscoughcough) since I know how much they’re twisting everything thanks to the streams. It makes me wonder if I’d feel more supportive of Jumper if she had VODs conveying everything, since as you said, it makes one of the biggest differences between Abyss and Eclipse. Sorry for rambling I’ll stop now ;-;

oooh I love this! Classic Rek being the gateway and then realizing there's so much more. I love that you thought the cleansers were power hungry lunatics lol. I barely have a memory from that even though Rek's cleansing video was The Gateway for me. I needed to know more about the conflicts.

And that is soo interesting about Jumper and kind of what I was really wondering with that post - like those who found ls through her video (and others on the arc) and how they thought about her betrayal because of just seeing the condensed yt video of the story. And also how that's so similar to just watching Spoke's wormhole video and how I defend his betrayal even though it was messed up.

What would it really be like to have access to all those recordings and actually see both his and Parrot's thoughts and reactions in full? What would it have been like to not have Abyss pov at all? Cause like, my post literally sprang from watching the new Rejoice strengthsmp video and Mane's bizzaresmp video and being like wow what was everyone else thinking when this happened. I have literally no idea if they streamed it or not but it doesn't matter bc im not going to watch the streams even if they had it, I'm just a casual viewer. So like, suspicion confirmed that if you watched Jumper's video you would have thought she was in the right. Because that's all you got. So normal, right? We just trust the yter.

But man, what would it have been like for Jumper to stream everything and talk about how messed up all the things were that Abyss wanted her to do and her in-real-time reaction to luring 4c or killing Vitalasy. How those moments motivated her and drove her closer to Minute. You start to see it a bit after they loose the presidency. Not that Jumper is particularly good at articulating her thoughts, literally never had to until jokerzam started putting her on the spot, but that doesn't really matter. Chat would have asked, or she would have said it to Minute and explained more. Honestly chat asking questions would have been so much of it lol. Nothing like a lore loving chat to draw out your character motivations.

But as it stands we just have the post-arc reasons, which sound weak and thrown together (incidentally the same criticism thrown at abyss by Ash) But that's because we weren't there. And articulating anything after the fact isnt the same. It's so interesting. I need to stop rambling in return lol but like it shows how s5's overarching theme was about that difference in making a youtube video and being a streamer and it came out in the abyss arc and then really came out in the finale when pb&j didn't want to stream their plans and wanted to get good recordings (antitrapbox my beloved) vs mapicc/zam wanting daily content to get on and do things and fight.

[mohntilyet]

i’m having illario dellamorte thoughts. what if instead of knowingly betraying lucanis he did it like, unknowingly. idk how this would work but i’m intrigued by what it gives us. illario ‘i accidentally caused my cousin’s death & can never tell anyone’ dellamorte. genuinely grieving. blaming himself. does he take advantage of the year before lucanis comes back?? does caterina still ignore him the whole time?? how different is the canon plotline once rook shows up with lucanis post-rescue…..

anyways i would love your thoughts!!

95% of what i do with illario operates on the idea that he is frighteningly competent so you can see why the way the crows plotline plays out in the game might frustrate me. it’s also this reason why i don’t actually think too much about “illario got lucanis killed, but didn’t mean to do it”, because i like the idea that everything illario does in his life is planned to the second and that he’s too well trained to mess up this badly, if that makes sense. with that being said. 5% of my brain power does sometimes go towards “and what if he just sucked actually” and it was a theory i enjoyed before the game even released. so i have in fact been thinking about this anyway LOL . maybe he tries to honeypot zara, accidentally actually reveals lucanis’ next assassination job, and zara gets rid of him as a ‘gift’. illario is horrified and that gets even worse when lucanis’ body shows up, and he assumes this must be because he spurned zara by leaving her and not having the guts to seize power.

i think we could make his inferiority complex worse. illario’s worst fear confirmed: he is as worthless as his grandmother believes he is, botching something so badly that he accidentally sentences his cousin to death when what he wanted was lucanis just… out of the way for a bit (maybe while he kills caterina. LOL. i still think his resentment of caterina trumps his jealousy for lucanis though those two things are very intertwined its hard for him to differentiate them). so incapable that he got the only person who actually supports him killed, and now he’s dreading the idea of becoming first talon. he doesn’t want first talon without lucanis backing him, and now the only person left is caterina which is suffocating and makes him even unhappier. at least he hadn’t lived through her alone, and now through consequences of his own decisions, illario has no choice but to.

i think that would affect his plans for talon because of how horribly he’d fucked up, and tries to mask it because if he suddenly actually doesn’t want to be talon that would be a red flag for everyone. lucanis coming back would delight him (talon is within his sights again if lucanis comes back!) and freak him out. i think the plotline would actually be pretty similar because of this freak out, so he still shows up to zara’s fight to cover his tracks. lucanis can never know, caterina can never know, because what little faith they have in him will be lost. like he committed fratricide and didn’t even MEAN to😭 ...corpse whispering still happens, and zara is like “ohhh that coward. he can never finish what he started, can he?” + “elaborate.” + “i gave him what he most wanted in the world and instead of being grateful, he ran away.” so lucanis finds out about what happened but feels a mix of “illario, you idiot” + pity because turns out he didn’t even mean for it to happen, and keeps his secret for now, otherwise he’d probably have to kill him.

i also think not meaning to kill lucanis would sour his feelings towards the venatori, who are a reminder of how badly he failed, so the alliance wouldn’t happen. this does mean if the story goes on as it does in canon, he has to take desperate measures another way and kidnap caterina for some other reason but i can’t think of why….. maybe a thing where illario is like “ok. lucanis is distracted by the elven gods. this time i just have to kill nonna for real and then nothing is in my way” and recruits disgraced houses or houses that don’t like caterina to do so? not sure tbh but i don’t believe caterina made it so far without making enemies lol. this would happen post bloodbath + corpse whispering— lucanis leaves his cousin unchecked because while he knows illario didn’t mean for him to die, he has no idea how far he would go to have caterina dead. teia could find out about this and send word to foil the kidnapping and assassination attempt

so ‘murder of crows’ is still about saving caterina, the illario-lucanis fight still happens, but it’s a little more hesitant and lots of “why won’t you just let me kill her? i’m doing this for the both of us”. he’s had to live with being the un-favorite, but never would have thought lucanis would actually pick caterina if it came down to it. with all of his missteps here, i think the final decision (and i think it should be like this in canon anyway) would be to imprison illario or kill him. imprisoning him is just a lot of “i can’t kill illario as much as he couldn’t kill me”, vs killing him as is expected from him as talon, and what he knew he would have to do after finding out about illario's failures. unlike canon, where illario is actually meaning to kill him and can be seen as a 'good crow' despite the sloppiness, here he's like. just bad at everything. the allied traitor houses that went against caterina would also have to be imprisoned or killed. no happy ending at all here, and lucanis still becomes first talon. now that i’ve written it out this is actually probably the worst ending LOL

the above sticks a lot to what is canon to the game (plot points, choices, etc) and i didn’t go very far away from it so it's like canon 3 inches to the left. tho my thoughts on this are not fleshed out* because i think illario works better as an antagonist character that sets things in motion !! not necessarily the villain in a cain-abel story, but a character who opposes lucanis while still not wanting to hurt him. that kind of discipline where he finds a way to get what he wants (first talon) without compromising what he also cares for (family) is so much more fun for me than a man who apparently just loses it and decides to enact a bad plan to get rid of his cousin. if he waited 20+ years to become talon i think he’d be more careful when it came down to it. if i had my way illario would be playing insane 5d chess to rival solas (insert black sails “i once thought that to lead, to be liked was just as good as feared. and that may very well be true. but to be both liked and feared all at once, is an entirely different state of being.”)

[xxplastic-cubexx]

Boy oh boy i really hope my toucb starved charles ask went through

oh i assure you friend the ask went through this time 🔍..

[starpros-sunshine]

Eichi gives away the mask so easily because it was never meant to be an "engagement ring" like you delulu wataeis imagined it to be lmao. It was wataru saying that he will continue playing tsumugi clown role in fine and won't leave it for hokuto's mother troupe after graduation. Do you dumb fucks even read the stories? Eichi didn't even understand tf that mask meant when wataru gave it to him and wataru referenced fucking tsumugi in his "proporsal". I dunno why the f you think it's ok to lie about "! EnDiNG wItH wAtAeI EnGaGeMEnT" when the chapter it happened wasn't even close to the end of ep:link. Cope

PS: how do you live with the fact that Eichi clearly admitted to never being in love in his life and Wataru said that even though Eichi likes him, he still can easily discard him for the sake of his objectives?

I love you anon thank you for giving me a nice reason to ramble again beautiful ask 10/10 I'm sorry this is probably not how you hoped this would go but this is such a funny block of text delightful really thank you for the enrichment please marry me

But okay yes now to get down to the actual ask just to disclaim I am solely relying on translations seeing as I do not speak japanese well enough to understant the original text so if anyone has anything to add to this or to correct me on please feel free to do so.

Now to get started I'm not sure if one could say Eichi gave away the mask "So easily" seeing as he claimed that it was "a hard choice to make"? Which, as one might know, implies unease with an idea and pondering and debating and a general amount of thinking behind a decision so? I know this isn't really the main focus of this ask but I'm just a tad miffed with the semantics of it is all. And in either case giving the mask back to Wataru while expecting it back still shows a certain degree of trust in their relationship it wouldn't have been such a big deal for him (as it apparently was) if the mask didn't have a lot of sentimental value to him (the both of them really if we look at the whole exchange).

Now to the claim that the mask was "only" Watarus promise to stay with fine and "continue playing Tsumugis clown role". This is not entirely incorrect. Regarding the acting troupe and staying with fine bit at least.

I'm assuming this bit in EP:Link Deadend/7 is what you are referencing, and I see where you're coming from. But the bluebird line

from literally three dialogue lines further down, which references this line of dialogue (notorious Eichi line everyone should be familiar with)

kind of somewhat really recontextualises that? Because you see this is a reference to a fairytale about a pair of siblings and they get sent out by a nice fairy to find the bluebird of happiness for her sad daughter to make her happy again so they both go on an adventure and travel far and search and search but they can not find the bluebird of happiness and then when they return home again, disappointed because they couldn't find the blue bird, they realise only one night has actually passed and the journey was probably just a dream. But then their eyes fall upon their pet dove in it's cage which appears blue all of a sudden and so they gift it to the fairies sad daughter which becomes happy again and sets the bird free. The real bluebird of happiness is a dove. At least in the version of the story I'm familiar with but I mean everyone sees the symbolism right? It's. very hard to miss.

And then dropping this?

I'm not sure how to say this properly but in the overall context this makes it pretty clear that Tsumugi has nothing to do with this anymore this is Fully between Wataru and Eichi. And I am the last person to dismiss Tsumugis significance in the course of Wataeis relationship as characters I will be among the first to protest when someone dismisses the importance of Tsumugis and Eichis relationship in favour of some image they have of Wataei but he has nothing to do with this one.

Yes Tsumugi gets namedropped but - again - I don't really see how that would lessen the sentiment Wataru is triying to convey here? Because. Yes. Why wouldn't he mention Tsumugi?

The entire conversation pretty much boils down to "Yes I was initially only in this because I thought I could replace Tsumugis role in your life and then I wanted to leave but we have spent so much time together that I realised that that is definitely not working out because I really do love you. I love you as a teammate; I love you as a friend; I love you as a person and I am very angry at myself for not managing to get that into your head. So please allow me to stay with you for as long as you'll have me." And then also Eichi not understanding because he has the emotional self awareness of a very emotionally unaware loaf of bread and also because he hates himself that is a very big thing about his character huge part of his character arc actually that he. you know? Hates himself? And feels guitly for his actions during the war? And doesn't think he deserves love and companionship? Which is why Wataru wanting to stay with him for him and not for some twisted form of revenge is such an alien concept to him? Because he is projecting his insecurities onto Wataru? As one is wont to do when they hate themself? "EiChi Didn'T eVen UnDErStanD WhAt tf ThAT Mask MEAnt" Yeah. That's. That's the point? So he can think about it and come to that conclusion himself which works as a keymoment in his characters journey from hating life and himself to enjoying being alive and wanting to live on because of the people he's surrounded with? He literally explains why he didn't immediately understand the mask during the EP:Link Epilogue/4

And to get back to the "I dunno why the f you think it's ok to lie about "! EnDiNG wItH wAtAeI EnGaGeMEnT" about which I have two things to say:

"Lying" implies further intent and an effort. Neither of which exist in this case.

He literally went down on one knee while making a big proclamation of offering himself to Eichi with a very personal item that works as a symbol for their commitment to each other on a starlit rooftop. The comparison writes itself.

3. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joke

And then I expected there to be a proper reason given and instead you proceed to follow that up with "when the chapter it happened wasn't even close to the end of ep:link". I know the shame is on me for expecting something sensical from an ask which has been near constant in it's lack of correct statements but such is human nature I suppose. And you are not wrong. Deadend/7 isn't very close to the end of EP:Link. That is true.

But do you know what Is very close to the end of EP:Link? The Epilogue Chapters 3-5.

Do you know what the content of those chapters is? I do. Very well actually :)

(Eichi literally explains why he didn't get it)

So if this answers your "Do you dumb fucks even read the stories?" questions, Yes. And I think I'm a lot better at it than you. So I'd say I'm coping quite well over here :p

PS: Regarding your PS, I take the "I've never been in love before so I wouldn't know" comment with a lot of humour actually as an aroace person who's emotional self awareness also ends at "good" and "Not good" I think it's very funny all things considered especially because he mentioned the loving Wataru thing several times before that and I'm generally of the belief that actions speak louder than words and also am in a happy long term relationship with the concept of "Reading Subtext". So please excuse me for not breaking down in tears everytime someone reminds me of that one singuar line of text in one of my favourite all time enstars stories that came out three years ago which also brought us the single best card set in the entire game

as well as absolute banger dialogue such as

Among others <33

And there are soooooo many other examples of wataei dialogue that simply make me swoon but I have already had to take out so many of the one's I wish I could put here so this wouldn't get "Do you love the colour of the sky" long

And also, regarding your "Wataru said that even though Eichi likes him, he still can easily discard him for the sake of his objectives" I'll just say that no he absolutely could not. I mean he'd say that and if pull comes to shove and he has no other option then he might seriously consider it but may I mention that Wataru was gone for a few days at most but really not that long of a time during Sanctuary and Eichi stopped considering being a normal rational person that doesn't leave helpless 17 year olds in the midst of a construction site. Very different situation but I feel like it's worth mentioninh here. Another example is Eichis almost not being able to go through with the war because of Wataru. Wataru had to actively come and tell Eichi to go through with it. Wataru isn't the reason Eichi started the war, that is wrong, but he is the reason Eichi almost didn't finish it. and during the war era that was his Main objective. Again I'm part of the fraction "actions speak louder than words" Show don't tell and all that, but even the words are pushing it.

And that concludes my essay :)

[thedrotter]

not-yet-dead-person

silly comic of a conversation in-game i thought was too funny not to make something proper for instead of a doodle ww

(timelapse + wip images (thus silly process commentary in read more if you like artist commentary :3)

i think the sketch looks silly and goofy and funny so i find it important to share with you the mere presence of the faces i drew on it. i drew it on top of the boxes without staying inside its borders because i find my proportions can get wonky if i draw them cropped in a restricted space. and I feel trapped otherwise and i will draw BAD!!! give me spaceeeee to go wild!!!!

the head circles are there for emotional support

very low res speedpaint because truth is the canvas was much bigger than the space where my comic was placed. i didnt account when exporting my timelapse in 720px that that tiny space would look so pixelated ... but it's able to be percieved, so its okay.

(i will now comment on my process and it is not brief sorry)

usually i would try to clean up my sketches and figure out what goes on top before jumping into linework, but since there are multiple panels and drawings i chose to jump into inking right away for the sake of brevity. i just went in with a brush that uses pen pressure and drew what was needed. i added extra line thickness and contrast in areas around the face because it helps direct your eyes there more easily that way.

according to her equipment rei has a chain belt but i only remembered it existed once I was going to color, and i did not like that discovery... I chose to ignore it to maintain my peace. i already have the color palettes for these characters figured out, and i didnt really want to think about a new element at the moment www I tend to overthink those things a lot so i skipped it

the rest is rather straightforward! not that anything else wasn't, but in here i could turn my brain off and sing. linework and sketching require mumbling so i cannot turn my brain off. just block in the characters with a solid color so i can have a mask (something along those lines,) where the color can stay inside. then just color in !!!

Base colors just had slight cell shading on the skin, and for the hair i airbrush a bit of the skincolor in low opacity near the forehead... I'm not sure what it means, but i can look at the faces easier with it somehow. i like the gentle subtlety it adds even if you cant really tell. it makes things look nice.

background was just me blocking in the color of the wall and floor, shade the wall a bit, then slap a noise and free use wood texture on top. work smarter not harder ! yet it took a bit to make it look stylistically fitting with the characters, and even now i think bottom middle panel looks odd. whatever!!!

for the middle panel i thought itd be funny if the background was a solid silly and colorful one to contrast the next panel's sketchy black one. a contrast to how the word widow is seen. on that note my handwritting is not pointy. i gaslighted my hand into thinking that it was indeed pointy in that moment so i could write "not-yet dead person" in letters that didn't seem cute. my hand did not fall for it but it complied anyway

that's basically it! I'm not sure what else i could say that doesn't feel barebones because it really is that straightforward. if you're curious I used clip studio paint for this. only special brush used was for linework (a brush named Lemon Brush), the rest used were just the default. my computer gets the least credit. it was trying to convince me a 20mb file was going to nuke it all the time and hardly let me save multiple times so i do not appreciate it

[somethingwithmoles]

Not someone in my uni's art history group asking what exact type of vault a certain famous hall has because "on the internet and ChatGPT the information is different everywhere"

*takes a deep breath*

my brother in Christ. Have you considered. Opening a book. In the library. Of the university. You're studying at.

[todayisafridaynight]

Is that character gay? *points at Mine*

Allegedly.

[quibbs126]

Well I haven’t made one of these in a while, but it seems like we’re back to it

*sigh* okay, so basically, here’s what’s going on with my life right now

So I finished up my current semester of college this week. I was on academic probation this semester due to my poor grades the semester before, and to fix this, I needed to: get my GPA up above a 2.0 once more, take a mandatory workshop during the semester, and have at least one meeting with my academic advisor throughout the semester. Once I did all that, or at least finished all the meetings, I would have my hold of my account removed and I could register for my next semester’s classes

But here’s the thing. I did the first two, I’ve gotten pretty good grades this semester, As and Bs in my classes (even if grades aren’t finalized yet, I highly doubt that it’ll change from that from when I saw them before finals). But I never met with my academic advisor throughout the entire semester. So I still have that hold on my account. And the semester’s over, so I don’t know what that means for me going forward

I tried looking for what would happen if I miss those meetings, and right now I’m not sure, but what I do know is “failure to meet the requirements of academic probation can result in suspension or dismissal from the university”. And so now I’m terrified that because I missed those meetings, I won’t be able to return next semester

But specifically what makes it so bad is that I had fully intended to come back next semester, I was not preparing for not being able to go back this semester. And worst of all, I told my parents that I had everything sorted out for next semester when they picked me up a couple days ago, I just had a hold on my registration because I hadn’t met with my advisor yet. Which isn’t untrue, but what I failed to mention to them is that I was supposed to do these meetings during the semester, not after, and that I was required to do them. So if I were to tell them the truth, they’d know I’d have lied to them

I know for a fact that the worst thing I do in their eyes is when I have a problem, but then I hide it from them and lie to them about it, saying everything’s fine when it isn’t, and only revealing the truth at the last second, meaning they have to scramble to try and get everything fixed. This is literally the main problem I had with them the last semester and two, and why my last couple days of summer felt horrible because I hadn’t applied for my loan this last semester yet and I had found out that day when they asked that the place I had been getting loans from was no longer doing them

It was supposed to be different this semester, I was supposed to not fuck it up. And yet I’m doing the same thing I did before, I haven’t learned my lesson at all. And when they find out, they won’t let me go back, I’m sure of it. They didn’t really want me going back to college this semester either, because of all that had happened prior, so this new wrench in everything might just be what makes them fully say I’m not going back

And by the way, not a lot of this is hyperbole, at least not that last paragraph. A number of these things they did say to me. They’ve said verbatim that the problem is that I lie and hide things, and that I do it over and over again. I’m not just making stuff up, I know it’s what they’d say because they have before

I want to go back, I like it there. My best friend goes there, and quite frankly, I feel like I need her in my life more than anyone else. And I may not talk to a lot of people, at least not as much as I should, but I enjoy being around other people and at least getting the chance to talk to them. I like taking walks around campus, I like being able to go to the store and buy whatever I want whenever I want. I like being a person here and not stuck in my room, stuck with the same three people and basically only doing things when I’m told I have to. I just can’t take online school, I go mad now staying 4 months here in the summer

And what makes it even worse is that this whole situation was so avoidable. It really would have been no problem to just schedule appointments with my advisor, it would be so easy. The other things were probably the more difficult things to accomplish in all honesty. But I genuinely forgot about them until Thanksgiving, and I just couldn’t be bothered after that, because the entire semester whenever I did remember it, I thought, “I’ll have time to make that appointment eventually”, up until now when I don’t. It’s all my fault this is happening because I was so lazy I never bothered to do it. There’s no one to blame but myself for all this

I sent an e-mail to the account I think I’m supposed to send it to about my probation, explaining the issue of missing my meetings. They don’t respond on weekends, so I have to wait until Monday to get a response because I sent that email at 11 PM on Friday. So I’ve at least started to work it out

And a part of me recognizes that maybe I’m just overblowing things in my head; again, this was probably the least important thing I needed to do, especially since we were supposed to meet with our advisors to work on improving our grades, and I’ve done that all on my own this semester. So maybe it really won’t be that bad, and everything will work out

But I’m terrified it won’t, that I��ll have thrown everything down the drain for something so small, and that I’ll be found out and have to deal with last summer all over again. It was supposed to be different this break, I could finally rest from everything, and literally my own mistakes have brought it all down

I feel like it’s been eating me alive these past two days, especially at night when my brain thinks more about it. But I can’t tell anyone, since my brother won’t really understand, and I’ve already listed why I can’t tell my parents. And it just makes it worse, because I have to be alone in this lie. There’s no one to tell, to assure me things will be fine, there’s only me. Which is probably why I’m posting it here, at least you people aren’t part of my real life to make me feel worse

I don’t know if I can keep it up for another day or two. My dad hasn’t come and asked me about the situation today, but I feel like he will tomorrow, especially if we go out tomorrow, which I assume will happen since we didn’t today. And by the way, I’m a pretty bad liar and I crack under pressure, so “keeping it up” means literally avoiding my parents whenever possible. I have the trick of staying under my blanket when they come over to my door, because I’ve somehow confused them into believing I was asleep/taking a nap, but I won’t always be listening in and prepared to use it at a moment’s notice, they can creep up on me. Or again, if we go out, it will be something my dad asks about. My parents don’t really like to ask me about normal non school/stress related things unless they think I’m in the clear. Which at this point is less frequent and they already have something to question me on. And I know I’ll just bury myself further and get them more mad if things don’t work out, but I can’t take them being mad at me either and causing them more problems, especially since I’ve already been lying about the situation, just not as much as I would be if I lie tomorrow as well

Why did I have to do this, why do I have to be such a horrible person? Why couldn’t I have just done this before, there would be no problem otherwise