#or im pmsing idk lol

[crqstalite]

why are my ribs doing the opposite of gaming

[3416]

okay none of this is coherent bc i'm on the verge of sleep at 9pm rn but that right hand man as dog post literally has my gears turning bc that's mitch fucking marner bro. that's mitch and there are so many levels to it. mitch who has made his whole career being the assist guy... takes pride in the fact that he can help the team even if that results in his point accumulation seeming lesser bc they're not goals. taking advantage of the skills and iq he possesses to try to make the people around him better and literally set them up for success...always the first one there to congratulate them on it too.... literally naming his whole foundation the marner assist foundation bc he embraces that role on a team with a generational goal scorer who's made it clear he wants to play with MITCH and appreciates mitch's talent and communication. like. actually his right winger... his right hand man. okay and even happy with being the second best, as he's been for large portions of his life w an older bro who's good at everything right on into a stacked draft class.

and mitch personality wise gets the dog description sometimes too. loyal, happy go lucky, wants to be around his guys all the time, and it's where he's the happiest and thrives the most. he's energetic, he's buzzin, he's willing to entertain, he's the life and love in that room in so many ways that are loud.... that bark but don't necessarily bite (THOUGH THEY CAN BITE. criticism can be doled out and taken as long as it's from the right places with him) but like. especially when he was younger too, he was literally the team emotional support puppy who loved cuddles and attention and with age comes protection from the outside a little bit..,. dialing back what he's willing to show or admit to people on the outside but it's still there and what keeps the camaraderie alive despite an ever rotating roster. and i kNOW. i know. so much dog imagery and symbolism has to do with being protective and fierce, and in hockey for mitch that doesn't necessarily translate on the ice the same way bc he's not big and rough and physically forward the way some people wish he was, but he probably would take a bullet for most of those guys. and in ways, he has taken on the shield or become the punching bag... he was with babcock, he's taken on the scapegoat with media so a lot of critique is thrown squarely at him for group failure. he's the martyr even if that's not exactly what he signed up for.

he's grown more guarded but he's LITERALLY. literally. a dog. a dawg. auston's dawg.... their dawg. the epitome of lots of good things about hockey culture (and i'm sure some bad too), but he embodies so much of the loyalty.. the side kick.. the best friend energy in some ways.... it makes me emo. and....... and to think of him with his own dog trying to recreate unbridled joy from his childhood (cut to those pics of him as a kid w his chocolate lab vs him now w zeus).... like he's desperate for love and recognition of his loyalty and companionship. he's gotten used to being second fiddle, not necessarily in any resentful way but like. these past few weeks he's kind of gotten to step up and be the guy™. he's the heartbeat...... the dog's not usually meant to be the main character but maybe he is worthy of it.

[nightfuryblue19]

aaaaaa

[ghosts-of-love]

not to be mentally ill but today when i went for a walk in a nature reserve i was climbing a hill and it was cold but so so sunny and everything looked beautiful and i saw so many cool things and i stood there and was like damn what's this feeling in my chest and why am i smiling so much?? my guy,, it's called fucking happiness. i was just present and content in the moment and couldn't contain myself so kept doing the silly arm shake thing i do and grinning at everything and then was like woah what's this feeling. fuckin, happiness dude.

[badcountryofficial]

Anyway I got my period and rediscovered fleetwood mac so I'm fine now btw

[couriwaytown]

kinda feeling like shirt😒

[lyekisses]

anyone else wake up in the middle of the night feeling incredibly anxious. or just me.

[leyyvi]

im so sad lol i hate being a creative sometimes

[whatsnewalycat]

I’ve been really, um… activated the past few weeks.

Like, super insecure and sensitive and on edge. It’s been really hard, because this is something I thought I had a pretty good handle on for the past year or two. So on top of these shitty internal symptoms, I’ve been beating myself up because I thought I was mostly done feeling like this, being like this, what the fuck???

Yesterday, it was like everything just culminated.

It was the last day of my first work week after being a stay-at-home mom and ft student for 16 months, which brings all new stressors and social dynamics im not used to. I didn’t get much sleep because I stayed up late making a cheesecake, which I fucked up anyway. I’m PMSing and got my period. I was late for work. My computer didn’t work when I got there. I wore an uncomfortable outfit. Then of course I tried socializing with new coworkers, and idk, I’m such a nervous wreck, I convinced myself I was a disaster and everyone there hates me. It was a bad day.

I went home and cried for… hours. I cuddled with my husband and talked to him about it, then watched tv to kinda get myself out of my head and calm down. Got a ton of sleep. This morning when I woke up I was laying there for a while, thinking, and like… I was able to place this insecure, rabid, horrible, desperate feeling that’s been ramping up inside me and came to a peak yesterday.

It’s classic rejection sensitivity dysphoria (RSD), which is a thing that presents in a lot (maybe all??? not sure) of ppl with ADHD. For the past 2 years or so, I managed to get to and stay in a place where I’m pretty fucking secure in my relationships and social situations, so I haven’t really dealt with a major flare up of RSD symptoms. But with all these changes the past few weeks, it’s been slowly creeping back up, and just fucking wrecked me yesterday lol. It sucked.

So, yeah, idk. Sorry if I’ve been weird in a bad and concerning way. Now that I‘ve been able to place what’s going on, instead of feeling just miscellaneously crazy, I can try to cope with it in a healthier way going forward.

OK THATS ALL THANKS IF U MADE IT THIS FAR ❤️

[wannaremember]

I saw @homosociallyyours and @jlf23tumble post theirs and felt like doing this since I can't sleep. I am not the best at picking answers to things but i will try.

Relationship status: Single. I don't know if i see myself ever being anything else. So in that way its complicated, my view of what I want, what I can have, whats possible and whats not. I try not to think about it though. I'm also kind of bitter about some things which sours my thoughts on relationships.

Favorite colors: is it okay to say every colour? Like i am so bad at picking a favourite thing :/ but if i had to pick right now, I'd say red. The answer could be different at any other given moment though 😅

Song stuck in my head: at the moment there is none. I dont think my brain has the space for it at the moment. I also can't think what the last song stuck in my head would have been but I do remember Happier than Ever being stuck in my head somewhat recently.

Last song I listened to: Bad friend by Rina Sawayama. I feel like anytime i do these things I'm always mentioning the same artists lol but really blame the spotify shuffle algorithm. Anyway i do love the song so I'm not mad about it.

3 favorite foods: once again picking a favourite is tough but for this its easier because I do have my ultimate favourite food in mind. Khausey, its like this noodle and yellow curry dish. Googling it probably won't be very useful and theres often different variants of it depending on what your cultural background is. So i usually think of the version I've grown up eating. I can never make it as good myself and its a lot of work to make the curry so I rarely make it myself. But god its the best. Second is halwa puri. Again something i can't explain but i love it. It always tastes best when you get it from the street. I think I'm going to start listing out all the street food i miss from back home as well as other foods i miss that i just cant get here, atleast not as good as they are back home so ill pick something different for the third option lol. Nutella, im not going to call it food per se and its not even that i think its particularly great but its a comfort thing for me where i just eat a few spoons of it on its own when I'm feeling low, or pmsing or anything, it takes very little excuse.

Last thing I googled: Moonlight, the movie, i saw a mention of it in a fic i was reading and googled it.

Dream trip: there's not really one place i would pick, like a world tour would be ideal and i could just go to all these different countries and explore different neighbourhoods, try out different food, do some activities, etc. If I had to be more specific, I'd go for Europe, though. I still get sad that I didn't get to travel much when I was there, and I can't really go back anytime soon.

Anything I want right now: more friends. People who i can talk to, who will get me and i wont have to worry about censoring myself or not being able to be myself completely. I feel like its a pretty big constant in my life though to want friends but never doing enough to make them. Idk but yeah also people in peron like that especially but even online closer friends that aren't just on messages and arent just fandom focused in conversation. I dont know whats tougher for me though interacting with people online or in person, they're both scary. Anyway i am trying but yeah friends was the very first thing i could think of to answer this.

I don't know who has done this already so i might tag someone who has already. I'll tag @bigxrig @uhoh-but-yeah-alright @suesheroll and anyone else who sees this and wants to do it!

[cruesuffix]

yikes…

feeling absolutely shitty and lonely and bored…like i want bang my head against a wall until i lose all my braincells. i know i’m supposed to be all cool here and just stick to posting about the old man and be silly and all that but sometimes i can’t help but be a bit jealous of all the other cool accounts on here that are better at writing and are much more creative than me.. boo hoo. you might be wondering why i don’t just make friends within the fandom and it seems weird to say i don’t want to because everytime i do i mess up and there’s a falling out and it continues over and over. i don’t even know what i’m saying. i don’t want any pity, i think i’m just tired and in pain. i hate being such an outsider in every fandom i’m in, but i also know i don’t contribute much and never really have anything to say. maybe im just pmsing or something idk…dw i’ll go back to obsessing over that old man tomorrow, i just need to get my very disorganized thoughts out.

also…is it crazy to feel old in your twenties? i always feel so sore it’s crazy, i’ll probably be a hunchback by the time i’m thirty…if i even make it to that age lol.

[1d1195]

omg im so sooo sorry cause I just finished PMSing so i know exactly what you’re talking about i hope you feel better soon bestie !!! Noah Kahan can cure everything I believe <3

honestly i just love your writing so much i need to go back and reread all of protection and then traditional i love them with my whole heart😭♥️

i LOVED the tiktok that went with committed as soon as i read that you kept listening to it while writing i knew i had to play it while i read lol but its crazy how you can draw so much insporation from something so simple, i think it just goes to show how talented you are

LMAO THE SNOWBLOWER MEMES IM CRYING HAHA i think thats like a super power honestly and i love that for you. youre so right it def hits different once the iced coffee comes out it makes EVERYTHING official

im SO sorry to hear you had a tough month bestie :( hopefully you have an AMAZING june and an even better summer, sending you the biggest warmest virtual hug ever cause u deserve it🫂 SO HAPPY YOU WENT BOOK SHOPPING, YOU MIGHT NOT NEED THEM BUT YOU DESERVED THEM !!! (im 100% the enabler in my friend group😭) may the pollen fade soon🫡

vry random but omggg i was going thorugh my old photos from like 1-2 years ago and i MISS my long hairrrr😭 its the middle of the night this should be the least of my worries lmfao but i cut it back in the fall and dont get me wrong !! i loved my short hair but now its at that awkward phase where its not long and its not short and i am NOT here for it :/

HAVE A GREAT DAY I LOVE YOU A TONNNNN !!!!!

~🎶

Okay I'm so amped about your Protection ask so I will save my thoughts on that for the next ask 😊

May was just long and awful. I'm very happy to be in June, I'm hoping things run smoothly. I feel way less stressed than I did last month. I'm sure I'll find new ways to be stressed but for now I'm going to revel in not being exhausted for the moment 😅

I didn't notice how stringy my hair looked until I saw it in a picture. I need to be better about going to get it cut more often but I've been going to the same hair dresser since I was 2 years old and it's an hour away from me now and a process lol But in the summer I always get a healthy amount chopped off because I run hot and my hair is like a scarf and insulating.

Thank you so much for the support of my book buying. Idk what I want to read next, there are a lot of options (especially now).

You're so sweet to compliment me. That man in the tiktok made it easy 😍 hehehehe

hope you have a good weekend planned! 💕

xoxo

[abra-ka-dammit]

When i get pissed off real bad in person (at people i dont know) i sometimes accidentally slip into my moms new yorker behavior and my tone and word choice suggest a sort of threatening presence which people take affront to and cast me away as irrational and violent

And its funny when that happens bc i am the weakest, meekest, most non-confrontational person ever. If im getting that way at someone its because of something THEY did or said (so its like a irl "u mad lol" play on their part, classy) and then makes me look in the wrong bc having borderline my entire rememberable life makes it hard for me to properly manage even justified anger

But mostly the idea that anyone could be intimidated by me is hilarious. Im a fat girl in nerd glasses who has never so much as thrown a punch in her life, but oooooh if i say "we're gonna have a problem" while noticeably near tears, suddenly im the scariest....because nobody wants to own up to being the asshole. So its always me. Im always wrong for getting angry.

Like its not even just my parents that trained me to bottle negative emotions, it was the whole damn world, bc women arent allowed to get mad. If we are we're PMSing and being dramatic. If i were a man they would ACTUALLY be intimidated and i would probably win more conflicts wherein i was not in the wrong.

Idk what this post was meant to be about but im mad rn and trying to figire out how to express that to my male next door neighbor without him reporting me for being ~crazy~ bc i knocked on his door to tell him he needs to seriously start bringing his trash bin in bc im not gonna be happy if i lose MY trash pickup service bc he doesnt follow the rules and then leaves it closer to my door

[figula]

cw for ed/unproductive body talk/etc

AHHHHH IM ON SUCH A BAD ONE TODAY I'm PMSing for one which has made me very bloated and emosh + i keep stupidly weighing myself every morning + it just hasn't shifted in ages (bc i am making a conscious effort to eat more so idk why im surprised lmfao) but the thought of having to look like this at my wedding is literally like. looking in the mirror evokes such shame and horror and disgust that idk how im meant to cope w/ it??? ??? i am just sitting on the sofa like :| absolutely consumed w/ horror at my own appearance which is just so SAD lol like im so crazy accomplished at so many things but i just! am eaten alive by this loathing for my shell :) anyway i obviously underestimated how much the wedding would make me hyperaware of my body + appearance etc and i wish that was not the case omg. i dont know what to do, i don't think there's any point seeing a therapist about this i think it literally has to just come from me but idk where to even start

[k0kichiimagines]

pmsing is HELL ive had multiple full on shaking sobbing breakdowns over the tinest things like it just hits me at all at once im angry for no reason and im going to be in a horrific depressive episode until my period, i hate late periods because it just means it lasts longer, i feel like im going insane going feral hate it here

[jentlemahae]

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