#bc im not tall and thin
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why are my ribs doing the opposite of gaming
#i think i got a case of costo#or maybe im dying idk lol#but my lung (right) is super clicky rn like if i stretch in the wrong direction n breathe in it kinda hurts lol#i doubt its collapsing#bc im not tall and thin#or a smoker#but my allergies are Bad#(as per usual)#and theres probably some inflammation going on w my ribs#or im pmsing idk lol#im just trying not to think abt the fact it could be serious#and more on the fact that im apparently getting old enough my hyperflexibility might finally be causing me problems#andre vents
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NO MORE ASSOCIATING THINGS WITH FEMMES ONLY BECAUSE THEY ARE PINK!HYPERFEM FEMMES ARE GREAT AND I LOVE YOU CAMPY FEMMES WHO EMBODY PINK BUT ALSO JESUS CHRIST CAN YOU GUYS NOT GO MORE THAN ONE DAY W/O TRYING TO SHOEHORN FEMMES INTO BEING ONLY PINK UWU BABIES. I AM FEMME AS IN GRASS AS IN DIRT AS IN TREE BARK AS IN WEEDS SPROUTING THROUGH THE SIDEWALK CEMENT. FEMME AS IN GENDER NONCONFORMITY AS IN FUCK YOU MY FEMININITY IS WHAT *I* SAY IT IS. FEMME AS IN DEPTH AND DARKNESS AND WARMTH AND TERROR. FEMME AS IN CAVES. FEMME AS IN LIGHTNING. FEMME AS IN AN AMALGAMATION OF TRAITS THAT I HAVE DECIDED ARE FEMININE REGARDLESS OF WHAT SOCIETY SAYS. FUCK IS IT THAT HARD TO UNDERSTAND?!???
#personal#i am emotional yes#over the years ive had this blog I've made a few posts abt being femme#nd whether they're serious or jokey..... inevitably someone in the tags goes “ohhh yeah bc pink”#or in the case of what inspired this post: someone going “what about the pink ones” on my praying mantis post#and im just.#sick of it. im sick of femme being equated to pink and frilly girlie behaviors.#im sick of femme being equated to skirts and heels. to makeup. to skincare. to pristine nails exactly almond shaped.#im sick of ppl acting like All femmes aspire to this shit. im sick of femms being reduced to this shit.#and i love pink! i love pink! my phone theme is quite literally just black and pink all over.#im just. so tired of any expression of Femme identity being shoehorned into being a Specific type of femininity#especially as someone who DOES get dysphoric wearing skirts. wearing dresses. embodying the femme aesthetic yall are so set on making#if u guys wanna rb this i truly dont care#i just needed to scream#and this is one small thing#but the 2nd largest category of anon hate i have gotten since making this blog is str8 up homophobia from other “queer” folks#saying i cant be femme bc of how i present. calling me slurs (and using them as such) bc they cant understand femme as anything but that#my wife and i have our users in our personal discord server set as 2 different things of anon hate ive gotten#i have had OTHER FEMMES tell me i am not femme. femmes who Know im femme who still call me butch. femmes who ive corrected and been blocked#-by bc of it. the number 1 largest demographic of queerfolk who have me blocked rn is TME femmes who embody pink also#and i dont think its a coincidence at all. (and i know this bc i go to try and follow these ppl bc they get rbed on my dash & i cant)#and ik their blogs arent deleted bc some of them don't block my wife (tall. white. butch) and it cant be politics cause her and i rb#a lot of the same political shit (fuck. i think she rbs More than i do even. this is genuinely mainly a nsft blog)#and usually i don't say anything but im having a bad day so i get to be angry about this and if anyone fucking tries me i will block u#idc if we've been mutuals 4ever. im judt so tired of feeling like i am not Enough as a femme bc i dont embody this shit#im sick of this lameass lip service to he/him gnc femmes etc when the thin white 50s housewife femme is still what is preferred and loved#im sick of this lamesss lip service when y'all feel entitled to theorizing on other femmes genders bc u cant conceptualize a femme who does#wanna be hypetfeminine. im sick of it. im sick of it. im sick of it.#celebrity bun
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sas rh: let eoin survive the fall au » a tale of two lieutenants
#sas rogue heroes#sas:rh#sasrh:canonau#augustin jordan#eoin mcgonigal#no bc augustin is relatively loudly complaining about the irish clown shooting live ammo at them while training#and this tall guy just materializes seemingly out of thin air in his defense#talking about how no one in the war actually gives you a heads up to being shot#and about being prepared for that as soldiers#and ofc augustin pushes bc fuck that they were *training* among *allies*#and eoin mentions how they havent known each other that long to be so sure - he doesnt even know his name yet#and his demeanor never changes and hes like really calm and with an easy smile on his face all throughout#and no matter how many arguments augustin brings up#(and he brings up plenty - if anything for the sake of confrontation by the end of it)#eoin just finds a fair enough rebuttal every single time#and go figure by the end augustin is secretly a little amused and even sort of impressed ??#and has to try not to show too much on his face when before turning away eoin comments that#hes nowhere near a professor but hes known to have won his fare share of debates at school#(paddy very much unfortunately missed this whole great exchange for being too busy terrorising essner)#anyways as you can see im still very much normal about this and them
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Golden & Buttery for soft asks!!
thank you for asking!!
golden: favourite stationary products oh i am so weak for fountain pens. my everyday (and #1 favourite) pen is an iridescent kaweko sport with grey iroshizuku ink and i am absolutely obsessed with it — it’s dark enough to read easily, but still very distinctly (blueish) grey, and it’s so so smooth. the pen is REALLY sturdy & it folds up quite small. here it is on my beloved diary/planner, flipped to a random page that does not have like, personal info on it.
my beloved & very fancy pen is an olive green & dark yellow opus 88 with sailor studio ink in 653, which is a deep deep deep purple that shimmers iridescent green when you look at it from an angle. it looks like beetle wings! the pen is huge and extremely comfortable to write with.
i will also say that i am a huge huge fan of those $2-7 pilot preppy pens — i just got another one bc my last one broke after a solid five years & i am always STUNNED at how beautifully they write.
buttery
i love … snacks … so much. my absolute #1 favourite is probably senbai. i like those packs which have a variety of senbai plus dried fish! <3 fish. they’re a bit tricky to find but i snap them up whenever the store near me stocks them. i’m also a huge fan of fish skin chips & reese’s dark chocolate thins. #1 reese’s fan. bontan rice candies are also a nostalgic childhood favourite of mine.
#not to go on too much about pens but i have a few pens where i switch out the ink#i just don’t with these two bc these seem like the Correct Inks For Them#i like all reeses products but the reeses thins are imo The Best bc they have the highest ratio of chocolate: peanut butter#the inks just do not photograph well so im not going to try to take pictures of them#the planner is like two lighters tall for reference dhhdd both it and the pen are smaller than may be evident
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i have, like, a personal dislike (particularly in book series) when the main female character who was taller than the main male character is no longer taller than them when they've grown up, even if it's realistic/common/what usually happens.
it's like, i appreciate the tall girl representation but then I get disappointed later on when the guy overtakes them in the height department. let the girls remain taller! /lh
(this is mostly lighthearted. i don't hold it as a mark against a series/work where this happens; it's just a personal specific gripe i have. i know height isnt a competition& being tall isn't better (or worse) than not being tall && that this is usually what happens. but still.)
#ab: personal#;this is primarily in regards to book series but can apply to other media (animation/manga/etc)#;im looking at you pjato#;mbs youre on thin ice (/j /lh)#;i know girls gen. are taller than boys when young vs adolescents bc they get the growth spurt first#;but still!!#;its like i get my hopes up bc they start off taller but so often im eventually let down bc the guy gets taller#;its mostly me projecting personal feelings on the stuff i consume#;and it like doesnt bother me if the fmc is always just shorter?? its really when the fmc starts taller bc i get my hopes up lol#;its a small personal really specific thing idk#;i may have some height complex issues based on having been relatively tall when i was younger and then just stagnating to average.#;and my (female) cousin#who i was either taller or equal to throughout our childhoods#shot up to like 7 inches taller than me#;and more than one woman telling me when i was young that guys typically dont like girls taller than them when i expressed how i wanted to b#;and me being like '?????? so what???? i literally do not care what others would think? i want to be tall for mem#me*#;and being older i see how kind of messed up of a thing that is to say to a young girl? and like at least two women said that to me. i think#;thats not the way to do it#;im rambling
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tbh my biggest issue with the twink/bear labels is how they enforce gender roles and promote body shaming. why do you think being fat and/or muscular and also being hairy means you are hypermasculine. why do you think being thin, wiry and/or lean muscled and hairless makes you effeminate.
#what if i told you that women can also be fat and/or hairy and aren't hypermasculine#and what if i told you that men could be thin wiry and/or lean muscled and hairless#what then#men can even be short and curvy and still be masculine men#vice vera for women being tall and broad shouldered and being feminine#this is why i say im a fat hairy twink (to those who care)#bc my body shape and amount of hair has no bearing on my alignment or presentation
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No bc like imagine you are in a trial right right, but you spawn with ONLY a slightly big tee shirt and panties and so Danny (ghost face) is like GOOD GOOGLY MOOGLY and tickles you where the sun doesn’t shine :3 only do this after you do my Ada request though .. (just kitten I know that will never get finished)
IM SORRRYY I GOT LIKE HALFWAY DONE WITH THE ADA ONE AND LOST MOTIVATION I SWEAR ILL FINISH IT SOMETIME SOON 😓🙏🙏
dark paradise
DANNY JOHNSON X fem!reader
nsfw content — please scroll if uncomfortable!!
summary: you’re spawned into the trial in tiny pajamas for the new event, and your favorite killer very much likes your outfit hehe
warnings: nsfw obvi, p in v, rough sex, creampie, butt slapping a little, degrading, stab wounds(NO WOUND FUCKING), steve harrington…😟
nsfw content below!!
You felt absolutely humiliated, to say the least. The Entity had decided to wreak havoc on you and send you to a trial in nothing but some shitty horror tee and the tiniest shorts you’ve ever worn.
Being sent to the Red Forest made it even worse, your shirt all wet and damp from the musty air and rain, making the fabric cling onto your skin. Your teammates weren’t to shy with their obvious glances at your chest and how your ass was hanging out.
“Quit it.” You huffed, scowling as you worked on a generator alongside Steve. Fucking Steve, one of the biggest flirts around here.
He rolls his eyes and does a mocking surrender of his hands, before grinning at you.
“It’s not my fault you got sent here looking like a model! Like damn, girl.” He snickers, nudging you with his hips. You glare at him, trying to hold back your laugh.
“It’s not funny!” You whine, curling your knees to your chest slightly to help yourself with the cold. You were shivering. Feeling the wet floor press against your butt had you cringing, but you’d rather have a mud-covered ass then hypothermia.
“It kinda is,” He hums. Another few moments pass as the two of you work on the generator, an eye out for any killer. The trial had just begun so you had no idea who it was yet. A small part of you hoped it would be Danny.
You had no idea what you and Danny were, but he would always let you live, as long as you have him some kisses and maybe a little hook up session. And you weren’t even against it, he was good with that monster in his pants and his words.
Steve suddenly makes a mistake and next thing you know the generator blows up in both of your faces, making you yelp and back up. You turn to him slowly with a pissed off expression.
“Seriously?”
He offers a weak grin.
“Can you blame me? You look very distracting—“
He gets interrupted when suddenly a knife is pushed through his back, making him scream and fall forward. You gasp loudly, stumbling back and hugging yourself. You shiver as the wet rain making your hair sticks to your face, your thin shirt hugging your breasts.
“Don’t talk bout her like that, fuckin’ moron.” The tall man huffs, the black robe and shrieking mask making you relax. You relaxed only for a moment before realizing he was about to kill one of your friends.
“Danny!” You stepped forward, trying to get him to stop from stabbing the shit out of Steve. “He was just joking, c’mon.” You huff, frowning up at the taller man.
He gazes down at you, eyes under his mask widening as your barely covered form presses against his body. From his angle he could see down your shirt, your nipples poking through the shirt brushing against his chest. His breath hitched as he reluctantly steps away from the bleeding out Steve, before turning back towards you and grabbing you around the waist.
“Let’s go, now.” He grunts, dragging you towards the cabin.
Barely twenty minutes later, he had you bent over one of log tables in the cabin, his cock deep inside your small cunt. Your shorts hung off your ankles, your panties pushed to the side.
His grunting was loud and raspy, his hands holding you around your waist to steady your trembling body. He pushed his cock as deep as he could with every thrust, his large fingers rubbing your skin.
He had made sure to bunch your shirt above your chest, not even bothering to fully undress you. Seeing you all damp with those tiny pajamas sticking to your soft skin had him all hot and bothered, with no care in the world other then shoving himself inside you as soon as possible.
“Shut up, whore.” He grumbles quietly, panting from behind you as he keeps thrusting his hips into you from behind. His grip on you was tight, bruising probably.
“Danny…” You moan softly, eyes rolled back to the back of your sockets, mouth hanging open each time his tip presses against that sweet spot all the way in the back of your pussy. It felt so good, getting slutted out by this masked murderer.
You couldn’t even care that your friends blood was getting all over you. All that mattered was how he felt, inside you and on your skin. How his cock hit deeper then anyone ever could, and how he whispered such dirty things that had you clenching down.
“Dressed like a fuckin’ slut,” He grunts, his thrusts hardening. He starts to gain speed, groaning at how tight you were around him, like a fucking anaconda.
“Don’t act surprised that you got bent over, bitch. You knew what was gon’ happen the second you saw me, dirty little slut, flashing those tits at me—“ He reaches one of his hands to grab the back of your head, pulling your hair back as his thrusts grow harder and faster.
“Dannnnny!” You mewl from under him, panting and moaning as he kept going. He grabs one of your legs and puts your knee up on the table, managing to shove his cock deeper inside you. He hums at how you clench down from the new angle, a mocking grin on his face.
“Good lil’ girl, keep takin’ my cock like this and maybe I’ll let you cum.” He snickers darkly.
“Y-Yes, mhm, I’ll be your good girl.” You sigh heavily as he pushes himself deeper once again, having your eyes daze at his good it felt. You were so thankful the generator in the cabin had already been completed, or else the fear of someone walking in would of been haunting you.
His hand roughly slaps your butt, making you whine and clench down. He groans at that and let’s go of your hair, going back to holding your waist and pushing your body down into the table. His thrusts continue, your moans leaving your throat like a broken record.
“I-I’m gonna cum, please, please, can I?” You whimper desperately, hands scratching and clawing at the able in hopes of finding something to hold onto. You could feel your orgasm nearing, making you clench down greatly around his cock, earning a raspy moan from the man behind you.
“Y-Yeah, fuck, let it go sweetie.” He mumbled, his thrusts growing sloppy as he works on making you cum.
Without another second, you let out a shaky cry and cum over his cock, your walls milking him dry. He leans down, pressing his chest against your back to muffle his noises. He releases his thick load inside your pussy, his hands reaching up to push down on your shoulders.
A few minutes pass as the two of you relax from your high. Once he’s felt that you’ve calmed down enough, he slowly pulls out, hissing at the feeling. He stares at your wet pussy and how both your cum dripped out, a small chuckle leaving him.
He steps back and tugs your panties back up, making you cringe as he makes sure none of it falls out of your hole.
“..Danny… C’mon—s’yucky!” You whine as he helps you out your clothes back on. His touch was surprisingly gentle.
“Shut it. Lucky I didn’t cum all over your face.” He gives you a little pat on the cheek. You roll your eyes before reluctantly smiling and pulling him in for a kiss. He hums and kisses back, his large hands going to rub your waist.
You had no idea what the two of you were, fuck buddies, lovers? Maybe in another life you could of maybe lived a normal life, not one where one was a serial killer. Maybe a journalist. Danny Johnson sounds like a journalist name. You’d call him Jed as a nickname, you though, it would fit him.
You both slowly part, his hand going to pull his mask back down. He slaps your butt and pushes the towards the door, smirking.
“Until next time, sweetheart. Better get to the gates before it’s too late.” He tsk’s.
once again i didn’t proofread cuz i’m LAZYYY
#ghost face x reader#danny johnson x reader#danny johnson#ghostface smut#ghostface#dead by daylight x reader#dead by daylight#dead by daylight smut
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Hi can you write a Percy Jackson x fem reader
The reader and Percy do not get along it’s like a love hate relationship.During episode 4 Percy sacrificing himself at St Luis arch the reader breaks down the door and sees him fall.she then jumps after him.When they get out the river they both have an argument about the whole incident.which leads to the reader admitting she cares about him.Happy ending pls.
an: OMG STOP STOP BC I ACTUALLY ACTIVELY SCREAMED AT THIS REQUEST ANONNNNN STOOOOP I LOVE THIS SM IM ABOUT TO WRITE IT RNNNNNRNRNRNRN
✧RECKLESS || percy jackson x fem!reader
summary: as the group go to their next destination they arrive at the arch, annabeth and y/n’s mom’s sanctuary for some time. just when they think they’re safe, things don’t go to plan.
word count: FUCKIN 5878 NO BC IVE BEEN WORKING ON THIS FOR THREE HOURSSSSS AHH
warnings: y/n and percy being in a enemies or lovers trope, annabeth and grover being third and fourth wheelers, arguing, near death experiences, slight blood warnings, poisoned percy, a bit of crying? LIKE A TINY BIT, y/n is very argumentative.
as the group made their way to the st. louis arch, they weren’t doing very good. at all.
on their way, the original plan was to get straight to las vegas, but thanks to the monsters and not wanting to take a break, their train got ruined by the mother of monsters.
as they walked into the front entrance of the arch that annabeth and y/n recommended. they had stated that monsters can’t get in and it will give them more time to find some way to get to las vegas a lot quicker than on foot.
‘six-hundred and thirty feet wide’ annabeth started—‘six-hundred and thirty feet tall, both two within an inch’
as they four of them walked fast enough to cause an old lady whiplash, percy and grover listened to the two of them explain their mothers sanctuary.
‘it’s got no internal support. each side is balanced perfectly against one another’ y/n states once more as annabeth nodded along with what she said.
‘the arch is held up by symmetry, it’s held up by math!’ annabeth expressed.
‘oh and it’s earthquake proof’ y/n added to annabeth’s comment, giving annabeth a small glance before they walked down the steps of the entrance into the small museum full of kids on a field trip.
‘it’s also high enough so poseidon can’t ruin it…but i don’t think mom would appreciate his child being in here, so.’ y/n looked over to percy who gave her a tight thin lipped smile before mumbling.
‘nice…’ annabeth and percy looked at the two before giving each other a look to soon squeeze themselves through the group kids.
‘excuse me’ annabeth mumbled to the boys and girls who turned and moved out of the way for the four.
‘this is how you show athena your love, a monument to the power of perfection’ annabeth told.
‘it’s a monument to some other stuff too’ grover added as they looked around and saw other things regarding more olden times, guns, head skeletons of buffalo and other things.
‘your talking about what some humans want this place to be about. we’re talking about what it actually is’ annabeth placed her hand over her own chest while looking at percy and grover who frowned but agreed nonetheless.
y/n rolled her eyes when she saw the amount of ‘skeletons’ and other things that litterd the walls and glass casing all around them. the people seeming to be pleased enough at what they saw to take a picture.
‘it’s sad to know they don’t know what it really means. very pathetic really.’ y/n mumbled to herself as she turned to annabeth. percy looked over at her and blinked before widening his eyes and choosing not to say anything about what she said.
‘whatever…we’re safe here, right?’ grover made sure to comprehend as they walked.
‘no monsters can enter…not even echidna’ y/n reassured grover who nodded nervously.
‘we’re safe’ annabeth added on.
‘great…well since our train exploded! i’m going to see if there’s another one we can get tickets on. we can’t stay here forever.’ grover looked over at the huge plastered picture of buffalo being attacked and hunted by hunters.
looking overly slowly at the three he said once more—‘just because we’re prey doesn’t mean we need to be helpless.’ turning around to leave, annabeth nervously cleared her throat and walked up to him.
‘wait! i’m going to go with you. you two wait here, don’t leave and don’t move’ annabeth ordered y/n and percy who frowned their eyebrows.
‘where would we go?’ y/n asked her with a raised eyebrow. annabeth rolled her eyes and caught up to grover who walked rather fast.
as the two of y/n and percy watched annabeth and grover walk away, percy decided now would probably be a good time to start a bit of conversation to stop the awkward silence.
‘he doesn't like it when people mess with animals,’ he added.
y/n didn’t both turn to his side but acknowledged his voice—‘yeah. i know.’
percy turned to y/n who kept her eyes focused on annabeth and grover even though they were long past the barrier of her eyesight.
‘…why are you so quiet?’ percy mumbled, his eyes looking over y/n’s frame that was unmoving from her standing position.
‘why does it matter?’ y/n turned to his presence now. seeing he was a bit away from here
‘it doesn't it’s just…you know…kind of awkward?’ percy nervously mumbled.
sighing percy didn’t want to really give up on the conversation knowing it would probably be best. the last thing he needed and had the time for was for y/n to snap at him, but it was worth the shot.
‘so, this is your moms place?’
y/n kept quiet and turned her eyes and head another direction from percy who kept speaking. clearing his throat he spoke—
‘be right down just going to the potty’ he said in a girly squeaky voice. this gained y/n’s attention.
as childish and stupid as it was, it was definitely an uplift from the previous mood. she lightly grinned but turned her head.
‘listen…me and you don’t get along and we both know that—‘
‘is it that obvious?’
‘shut up and listen okay?’ y/n sighed as percy nodded shamefully and let her continue .
‘i know you said it all in me and annabeth’s head…mostly mine? that i tell myself that our mother cares because it’s easier that way.’
percy let his eyebrows frown once more as he shook his head—‘i didn’t say that?’ he looked at y/n who turned her head to him and gave him a small look of which spoke—‘really?’
he shrugged it off and continued to talk—‘look ive been a demigod since…’ looking off to the side to calculate he finally came with an answer—‘last saturday. you shouldn’t listen to me.’ he told her as y/n let what he said soak in.
looking off to the side a bit she came up with some idea—plan for him to take, an offer.
‘you know, this is my mothers place. but…a temple is a temple. maybe you can say hi to your dad while your here?’ she explained.
percy seemed to almost take up her offer but quickly denied it. not wanting to really contact poseidon at the moment.
‘no thanks.’ he quickly shrugged off. this came undeniably confusing to y/n.
‘what could it hurt?’ she genuinely wanted her answer but he still shook his head.
‘your think with your mother…i get it, it’s different, it works for you. but my father…i don’t want anything from him. he had his chances—honestly you’ve done more for me in the past free days than my fathers done my entire life. if i have to stick with someone i—‘
trailing off as he caught himself y/n seemed to catch his slight slip up and tilted her head to the side a bit. her eyes looking him up and down before she smirked a bit—‘careful..i think you were about to call me a friend.’
before the beginning of the quest. before all of this. they had claimed in stone, they were and would never see themselves as friends. nothing more nothing less: the two of them simply didn’t see eye to eye. their priorities were set on two different things, and they both knew that.
but, things seemed to have change a bit on one end, and a lot on the other.
percy slightly looked down at the floor below as y/n turned her own head away from his.
‘somewhere around here the Oracle is laughing at us but you know—‘
as she said this percy seemed to feel insanely dizzy and instantly fell to the floor, y/n being there to catch him—‘whoa! percy? what’s going on?’ she asked him, being careful not to bombard him with too many questions given the fact he just fell out.
her arms being slightly wrapped around his shoulders he held onto her as he let her slowly let go of him. percy slightly sat down onto the floor as he caught his balance.
‘hey! what happened?’ grover and annabeth came running immediately when they saw him fall.
‘i think…i think those stinger things were poisonous…’ percy breathed heavily, his breath seeming to shorten on supply.
y/n looked around and it seemed to click for both the athena children—‘i have an idea’ the both of them claimed.
as the two of them grabbed up on percy they found themself in the water that sat in front of the museum. with percy sitting down into it, the other three stood as they scooped and splashed percy from the head down with water.
he sat there and took it as they kept going scoop from scoop, hoping something would happen.
passers walked by and some stood to watch what they were doing and they their were kids sitting in the fountain but none took it upon themselves to stop it.
‘the water cured him back at camp! it should work with poison too!’ y/n found herself quickening her scoops of water while annabeth looked momentarily at her sister who wore a very worried expression.
if anything, she’s never seen her this worried. not for a while. not for percy.
‘you know—i think, i think this is working’ percy grabbed onto y/n’s hand who helped him stand—‘this was a great call’ he acknowledged their idea but only to end up stumbling back down into the water with even more dizziness.
‘or not.’ he breathed out.
‘maybe it needs to be naturally running water for Poseidon to heal him?’ y/n mumbled while she placed her hand comfortingly over percy’s shoulder.
grover looked to annabeth who went to speak but just then they heard crashing and sirens going down just ahead of them. they all went to look and seen a police car being flipped into another car.
‘we need to get back inside!’ annabeth went to pick up percy along with grover but y/n was quick to deny.
‘no we need to keep trying!’
‘ this isn’t working y/n—and she’s coming!’ grover sadly looked at y/n who stressed her expression of worry towards percy who looked up at her momentarily before the two of them looked ahead along with annabeth and grover to see echidna slowly strutting her way over to them with a grin.
y/n breathed out and quickly thought—‘okay look, we’ll take percy inside and we’ll go to the temples alter’ y/n went to pick up percy who grabbed onto her arm and hand as the other two helped to pick him up as well.
‘alter? where is there an alter?’ grover asked, frowning his eyebrows at the two.
‘the highest point—the best view!’
‘okay! but what good is that even going to do us?’ grover stressed once more.
y/n sighed and looked over to annabeth who looked at her and percy.
percy had his grip held tight on her as she equally had the same amount of strength being held onto him to secure him from falling.
‘we’re going to get to the top, and we’re going to ask our mom for help’ she breathed out. grover seemed to stop for a bit along with y/n who was nervous about this plan.
‘ask mom for help? annabeth are you insane?’
‘i thought we didn’t ask for help?’ percy put his two senses in making annabeth look over to him. seeing they didn’t have much time for anymore conversations, annabeth ushered the group to begin walking.
‘come on; we need to keep moving’ annabeth spoke in a hurry.
grover placed percy’s other arm over his shoulder to help balance out their walk and annabeth stayed to y/n’s side.
just as they began to walk and y/n with annabeth failed to walk a bit and happened to stumble behind. echidna began screeching to the two girl who turned and started—couldn’t help—but listen. their expressions becoming more flat, a bit worried.
percy took a heavy notice of y/n’s absence and turned to see mainly her with a saddened expression on her face.
why did she look like that? what was she seeing? what was she hearing? his thoughts raced. seeming to focus on her rather than himself being poisoned.
she let her eyes widen and she snapped out of some trance along with her sister who gripped her arm—‘guys? did you hear that?’ y/n looked over to annabeth who nodded immediately.
grover and percy however?
‘hear what?’ percy asked her with concern. grover shook his head and y/n looked at annabeth who sadly looked down.
‘come on—let’s keep walking—go help percy’ annabeth told y/n who jogged to percy’s side and grabbed only his arm once more.
ㆍ୨୧ㆍ
as the group hurried their way around the people who were mindlessly talking with themselves—completely unaware of the danger that was happening for the demigod children. they kept turning around to make sure their backs were clear.
some people would momentarily look at the group who carried one boy who looked like he just seen a ghost as they had their wet clothes tracing the floor as they walked.
the four of them getting into the small sitting elevator, they sat down—‘what was that back there? what did you guys hear?’ he asked the two sisters, but his main eyes trained on y/n who didn’t say a word. annabeth doing the same , she found her pinky slowly reaching over to y/n’s.
she got the hint and fully placed her hand over annabeth’s. percy looked down at their hands and came with the conclusion.
‘she spoke to you two’ percy breathed. his body was cold, and wet. the poison doing nothing more and adding onto his weakness and cold body.
‘alecto did that with me. back in the museum back in new york’ he recalled. annabeth and y/n still not speaking a word, only looking down and blinking momentarily.
percy didn’t really want to admit but he was becoming concerned for y/n’s mind. what did she hear that was bad?
‘what did she say?’ he asked once more.
just then, annabeth looked up in a hurry and squeezed y/n’s hand who looked up as well—and there she was. echidna.
she stood over the small metal balcony with her moneyed baby right behind her.
just as the doors shut they saw the two horns. y/n let her eyes widen along with the rest of the group’s.
grover gulped but began to talk—‘was that the chimera?’ he looked over to y/n who place she head in her hands and held them their in stress—percy looking over with frowned eyebrows as his wet hair dripped into his eye.
‘i—i think that was the chimera!’ grover worryingly spoke. percy let his focus set on y/n who kept nervously looking anywhere but the group.
‘how did the chimera even get inside here? how did any monster get inside here—‘
‘y/n?’ percy breathed out, his worry building up on y/n who kept quiet. annabeth looked over at her sister who didn’t even look at her either.
‘we’re in a secretary, athena would have to let her in but why would she do that?’
‘y/n!’ percy called out to her once more. seeing her eye finally set up upon his own he hoped they could keep their eyes trained on one another.
‘what did echidna say to you?’ he asked—demanded and answer.
she worryingly looked back down before shaking her head a bit, biting on the inside of her cheek.
‘she said my impertinence ruined our mother pride. and that that, would be our doom.’ she looked angrily over at percy who shook his head.
‘impertinence? what kind of—‘ finally recalling. medusa’s head.
giving y/n the look of knowing she gave him a look as well as annabeth and grover watched them talk.
‘ medusa’s head.’ he nodded while y/n shook her head, a frown setting upon her features.
‘i embarrassed my mother…’
percy shook his head while trying to clear up his running thoughts—‘but—i’m the one who sent the head to olympus? i sighed the note—‘
‘and i went along with it! it embarrassed her…now she’s angry. because of your impertinence, and because i was dumb enough to go along with it, we won’t get any help, we won’t get an answer from her!’ y/n shouted to percy who shook his head.
‘y/n—‘
‘no! annabeth, he needs to understand this isn’t some game, this isn’t camp, we can seriously die out here, and he can’t just go around sending dead body parts to the gods just because?’ y/n stressed even more as percy nervously looked at y/n who avoided his eye contact once more.
‘guys…what are we going to do?’ grover broke the silence as they seemed to be near the top of the arch.
‘she isn't going to help us when we get to the top to have percy’ annabeth expressed to grover who cut her off—‘no i mean what are we going to do about echidna and chimera? they're going to be right being us,’ he exclaimed.
as the four of them looked at each other—percy hoping to catch y/n’s eyes but failed he looked down at the floor.
ㆍ୨୧ㆍ
‘we’re not going to have much time’ as the group let themselves out of the elevator, y/n getting out first to leave percy with grover and annabeth to help him out.
percy took a hard notice to this but tried to shrug us off—‘they’ll be up here any minute. and if our mother isn’t going to protect us, then we’ll just have to fight it out up here’ y/n finished as they walked up the short amount of stairs to the top.
once they did was when y/n lost her confidence for a second and saw a huge crowd talking among themselves with phones taking pictures and smiles on their faces.
and when percy, grover and annabeth were behind her, they saw the extent of trouble they were in.
‘oh no…we gotta get everybody out of here’ grover expressed with worry as he held onto percy.
percy looked to y/n who seemed to smile a bit with her idea.
running to the fire alarm she pulled it, setting off a loud beep that got everybody's attention.
as everyone slightly panicked and walked their way down the hall with the others, y/n placed her hand onto annabeth’s shoulder and ushers them along the hall.
‘you guys follow the group down the steps—‘
‘what?’ percy hurried to look at y/n who momentarily look at him then back at grover who spoke.
‘no, no—we—were not spitting up’ grover expressed.
‘grover come on!’
‘y/n i’m not leaving you here!’ annabeth spoke to her sister who gave her a sad look.
‘no… no no no no we’re all getting out of here together’ percy breathed out, hoping to get y/n’s attention. once he did he kept their eyes focused on one another.
‘we won’t make it! the chimera is a demigod killer! someone has to stay back to slow her down and buy everyone some time’ y/n walked with her hand on annabeth’s back while they walked to the steps with everyone going down in a hurry.
once they got to them, grover, annabeth and percy turned to y/n who stood at the door to make sure she shut it before they left.
‘okay—once you get downstairs you need get him to the river. and don’t stop. not till you get to hades. not till you have the bolt, do you understand?’ y/n looked at the three before looking at percy, he shook his head in denial.
‘y/n you can’t just stay here and say that and expect me to listen—‘
‘do what i say annabeth! just this once, okay?’ she pleaded. annabeth shook her head with a frown upon her lips, forever going the same.
‘okay go!’ she heard the footsteps of the two right behind and went to shut the door only for percy to speak.
not wanting to let her go he quickly came with a plan.
‘wait!—‘ taking the pen that formed into a sword out of his pocket he held it to y/n who looked at it.
flipping it around to make sure the handle would be in her touch, he held it out to her and spoke once more—‘take this’ he held out to her.
as she went to reach slowly, he waited for her grip to hold tightly onto it—only then did he switch sides, pushing her into the room and closing the door.
‘percy!’ y/n yelled out to percy who made sure the door was locked.
‘percy!?’ grover yelled. the three of them baging on the door as percy breathed heavily, his body weak and pale.
‘percy no! don’t do this! they’ll kill you!’ y/n yelled her voice becoming louder but more weak.
‘posiden never helped me before. he wasn’t gonna start now. i would’ve never made it to hades. but you can. and now you will.’ percy talked to them before he walked away from the foot. their banding never stopping.
‘percy! please?! you can’t do this!’ y/n cried out.
walking towards echidna and the chimera who walked their way to percy who’s eyesight blur more and more. causing him to stumble and his weakened grip on his sword.
‘this is the end sweetheart.’ echidna spoke softly, her motherly tone never wavered. ‘don’t fight it. you’ll only make her angry.’ she warned.
as the chimera walked over to percy he held his sword up higher with determination in his eyes. the chimera began to growl as she went to open her mouth, inside a small orange and red glow becoming prominent, percy swung his sword at the leg of the chimera, making it rawr out in anger and slight pain.
ㆍ୨୧ㆍ
behind the door y/n banged harder and harder, hoping somehow he would come back and change his mind.
annabeth couldn’t watch her sister be like this—hurt, confused, mainly disappointed. turning sound as she reached into her pocket to grab her own sword that extended, she let it change its form into a smaller pick pocket knife.
‘you two! go now, go to the bottom of the steps and wait outside, police are bound to show up, so stay with them and don’t move! i’ll meet you down there with percy!’ y/n demanded her sister and best friend who shook their head.
‘y/n please—‘
‘annabeth! listen to me! okay? i’ll be okay, i’ll see you guys down there, go!’ she pushed them slightly as they looked at y/n once more who nodded to the two, giving them a slight smile.
annabeth gave one back as she nodded and grabbed along of grover, the two of them making their way down the stairs.
as y/n turned around the let her knife be placed into the middle of the lock, letting it extend, it did just enough to to break the lock and break the metal of the door.
ㆍ୨୧ㆍ
pulling and pushing its paw up, she pushed percy far into the metal railing of the side of the wall, making him fall and yell out in pain. the chimera snarling at percy. as she walked over to percy once more he laid onto the floor with weak arms and body to see it open its mouth and their in the pit of her throat, fire. being bubbled and arousing through the back of her throat.
‘percy!’ y/n yelled. he turned around immediately to see y/n run towards him and pull him out of the way of the chimera’s fire that erupted through its throat and mouth, spreading and melting the floor below. y/n grabbed ahold of y/n as she pulled him away form the fire.
his grip holding onto her to make sure she was safe and unharmed, y/n quickly checked over percy as he nodded slightly.
in the distance, echidna raised her hand and flexed it towards the floor before them, a huge gaping hole being torn open into the carpet and metal floor. the wind from the highness of the arch blowing into the faces of y/n and percy who held each other.
the chimera roared loudly as y/n went to help percy stand up the two for them made their way over to the chimera with their swords in hand, y/n made her way in front of percy who noticed this and tired to quicken his pace so that he was in front of her.
swinging her sword the chimera dodged it and hit y/n so hard she passed out right onto the other side of the hole.
‘y/n! percy yelled—‘ soon percy tried his turn only to be hit with the chimera’s horns. throwing him back in the walk and down the gaping hole.
the chimera seeming pleased, it walked its way along with echidna to see percy still holding on.
‘y/n! wake up—‘ he grunted.
y/n paid along the side of the carpet ground with her head pounding.
‘so unfair. you never had a chance did you?’ echidna looked down at percy who was praying to whoever that y/n woke up right now.
‘if only someone cared enough about you to provide you with one’ she tilted her head as percy grunted and held onto the metal plate that was the only thing supporting him right now.
‘y/n?!’ he called out once more.
just afar, she grunted and let herself slowly wake up. just as she looked over and grabbed ahold of her sword. seeing echidna shake her head down into the hole she stumbled her way up, the blood on the head running down her eyebrow and down the side of her eye.
‘percy?’ she looked and saw he was nowhere to be found.
putting up all her strength, she stood up and hit echidna across the back of her head with her sword making echidna help out, the chimera turning around to her mother to her y/n had yelled out—
‘percy!’ she yelled seeing him reaching out to her as he fell, she took her jump and went right after him.
the two of them falling down further and further, y/n stretched her hand far enough for the two of them to be holding each other's hand.
as y/n felt herself lose consciousness once more from her injury, percy gripped her hand even tighter, and just as he turned a bit from the air around them, he saw a huge water thing, coming right towards them.
ㆍ୨୧ㆍ
when percy came to. he was under the green water. the small fish and thing around him, he hurried his eyes and head to turn and see y/n not too far from him. her eyes still closed and her hair clouding around her.
swimming out and going to pull her up to the surface, percy felt himself and her go back down a bit—looking to see her foot caught and stuck around something that held her in place.
swimming down a bit to held her foot get unstuck he grunted and strained as the bubbles from his mouth started to flow and go up to the surface. pulling and pulling he suddenly saw something.
something glowing in the green water—‘you are frightened.’ it claimed.
blinking his eyes to see what it was he frowned, but kept pulling at y/n’s foot, his only priority was to get her out.
‘it’s alright percy. your father sent me to tell you, it’s alright.’ he paused a bit at this and looked over at the flowing glow.
‘just breath.’ she instructed. going to do so—he abruptly stopped and went back to pull at y/n’s foot. her head still bleeding and her body still unconscious.
‘your father is here, he’s always been here’ she continued to talk as percy pulled at y/n’s foot.
‘it’s so hard for him to stand back, to see you struggle. it is so hard for us all. but he’s here, and he’s so very proud. trust him. trust yourself. stopping his movements and looking over at the flowing glow, he held onto y/n’s leg who started to shake awake.
her eyes slowly opened and focused to see her and percy and somehow ended up into the water. she looked to see percy looking over at something, following his gaze she saw what he was seeing and frowned.
‘just breath.’ she told once more and when y/n turned down to percy, he breathed in and seemed to be breathing just fine under the water.
looking up at y/n he saw her holding her breath and went right back to pulling her foot with all his might, this time she was there to help. pulling up her foot, percy came with an idea, one that she definitely wouldn’t like.
going up to her, face to face, he placed his hand on her shoulder then soon her neck—if y/n couldn’t speak with her words, she definitely would with her expressions. with one that woke—‘what are you doing?’
he looked down with his eyes at her mouth and she immediately shook her head knowing exactly what he was implying. he looked at her and grabbed ahold of her cheek while she looked down to pull at her foot, her lungs burning and screaming for air.
percy gaining her attention, she blinked the water going in and out of her eyes and she held his eyes with her own. frowning she nodded her head slightly and let percy lean in under the water—his lips setting upon hers he breathed in his air to buy her more time. once they retracted, y/n and percy held eye contact before he kept his hand held on her own.
once he was down to her foot, he tugged as she pulled and soon she was free.
grabbing only y/n, the two of them hurried and swam to the top.
ㆍ୨୧ㆍ
when they got to the surface, they swam to the concrete surface and pulled themselves along the metal rails. y/n got the helping hand of percy who pulled her with the two of his hands.
‘your okay, are you okay? your okay, right!?’ percy rushed to ask y/n who caught her breath and immediately reached up to touch the blood and wound that happened to close up.
looking at percy who half his hand on y/n’s arm and neck he checked her body and she took note of how he was healed as well.
‘percy! i’m okay…im okay’ she soothed him as he slowled his movements and looked into her eyes.
‘you jumped after me…you followed me down not knowing what would happen—‘
‘how could i not percy! how could i not? you are so careless, reckless and so selfish to think nobody would think of you and how you could have died! you left me— us, behind in the staircase to go off on our own and save your mom from the underworld!? how messed up is that percy! she would want to see her son! not two kids who she doesn’t know!’ y/n percy in his chest who stumbles back.
he looked nervously up at y/n trying to grab her hand only for her to slap it away—‘your selfish, greedy, reckless and so so stupid percy jackson! and i’m stupid enough…’ when he heard this he looked at her from the ground to see her slowly shaking her head at percy who looked up at her with hope.
‘i’m stupid enough to be the idiot one as well and jump after you. and i’m stupid enough to have cared so much. too much about you. percy…you can’t do things like that…not now, not even. not as long as i’m alive.’ she felt her eyes water a bit with the amount of worry he put her through when she was behind that door and out of his reach.
percy took note to this and hurried to grab her up and hug her tightly. she arms immediately finding their way around his body and his wrapped along her body as well. the two of them held each other so tightly they forgot about the world around them.
when they let go from the hug that seemed to have lasted forever, sorry nervously laughed. y/n looked confusingly at him with a small grin on her face.
‘so…what happened underwater—‘
‘don’t!’ y/n placed her hands over percy’s mouth who smiled at her as she shook her head in a hurry, her cheeks seeming to redden.
‘y/n!’
‘percy!’ two voices yelled from behind them. the two of them turned around to see grover and annabeth running to them.
‘annabeth!’ y/n happily yelled. as they embraced each other, percy hugged grover who hugged him tightly.
‘your safe’ annabeth breathed out’—but how—‘
‘doesn't matter! what matters…is that we’re together, safe.’ y/n smiled as she turned around to grover and percy. her eyes lingering on percy a bit more which seemed to not go unnoticed by grover and annabeth.
‘come on! we need to get moving’ annabeth held her hand along y/n’s back who walked with her.
as they walked, annabeth and y/n talked amongst themselves while grover and percy walked.
grover noticed how percy’s eyes never left y/n’s form and his focus never left her.
‘so..’ he started. percy let his eyes linger but his head turn to grover before his eyes focused on him.
‘what happened under water?’ grover finished making percy abruptly stopped, pulling grover with him laughed.
‘what—how do you—‘
‘my ears hear many things dude’ he smiled at percy whose face was grew redder by the second.
turning to see y/n and annabeth still walking and talking he turned to grover, turning him around so their backs were friend to the girls.
‘under the water…i found out i can breath. but y/n was stuck so…to give her more air— i had to share my air—‘
‘so you kissed?’ grover interrupted making percy grow red all over—‘don’t say it like that and don’t let her you know! she’ll kill me…she also. happened to tell me she actually cares about me, a lot’ percy smiled at the recalling of what she said.
‘so…she basically confessed she likes you?’ grover added once more. percy looked to the side as he nodded slowly.
‘dude!’
‘grover please! don’t tell her—‘
‘i won’t i won’t!’
percy nervously breathed out before letting go of grover who straightened his jacket.
as the two turned around to see the girl waiting but still taking, grover turned it percy and yelled with a smile—‘so y/n what happened!?’ he ran over to y/n making percy run after him
‘grover!’ percy yelled.
#percy jackon and the olympians#percy jackson x reader#percy jackson#percy pjo#grover underwood#percy series#annabeth chase#walker scobell
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cdream arguing to ctechno that he’s not short (i’m 6’3 okay SIX THREE! that is not short! IM NOT SHORT!) and ctechno is just laughing like crazy bc like sure maybe dreams not short to the average human, but ctechno is like, 7, nearly 8 feet tall. he jokes that he’s practically struggling to breathe bc of how thin the air is up there . cdream wants to kill him on the spot
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all glory
masterlist | kofi (support me here!)
pairing: joel miller x f!reader
summary: joel has been feeling insecure, finding it hard to come to terms that he's indeed aging. tommy suggests a clever solution: a post-apocalyptic glory hole
word count: 4.8k of pure filth
warnings: minors dni (18+), post-outbreak, joel is 56 here hehe hot old men, insecurities, glory hole, fingering, unsafe piv, slight breeding kink, no pregnancy stuff tho cuz im terrified of that, reader calls him sir, pet name (darling)
note: i decided to create a kofi bcs im a broke college student lol. anyways hope yall enjoy this, do COMMENT and REBLOG if you enjoyed this :)
Joel Miller had always been a man of confidence.
Being left as a single father for Sarah at an early age, he’s been through thick and thin, trying his best to make ends meet so that they wouldn’t have to end up in one of those run-down shelters. But never once did he question his ability to attract women.
He’s always had it in him. With a mere glance from his expressive eyes, he can ensnare hearts and leave an everlasting impression on anyone fortunate enough to encounter him. Rugged masculinity and striking refinement; a deathly mix that kept girls swarming after him like bees. After the world descended into chaos, he’s not much different either. Perhaps the bone-deep trauma had left him looking eternally exhausted with sunken eyebags, or that gray filaments started becoming a welcomed addition to his beard, but all in all he’s still charming.
He didn’t have to seek, because people seek for him. Joel had plenty of erotic rendezvous in times where society crumbled and the rule of law eroded, more so now that everyday could be his last and he didn’t have the privilege to take it slow like a true Southern gentleman. He’s done it everywhere. Inside a stuffy closet while hiding from a clicking monstrosity, behind a thin wall while her husband sat cluelessly on the other side, and even taking sexual compensation for his little business. Joel Miller wasn’t a saint. Neither he one for God and he’d like to make it obvious.
Nowadays though, within the tall foreboding walls of Jackson City, that type of attention has faded away. He’s no longer getting those longing stares from across the floor, no longer being begged to corrupt just for some extra wad of cards, no longer being flirted and fawned over like a goddamn stud. Joel didn’t have any problem with it at first. He’s growing old. Instead of those naughty strands of white peeking out of his head, he’s now a complete mix of salt and pepper. Instead of just having a fun smile line, forehead rolls and crows’ feet are now imprinted deep into every crevice. Joel wasn’t the man he used to be.
He’s weathered away, he thought, unsuited for fun and adventure.
Perhaps it had something to do with his daughter as well. Even when Ellie’s not from his actual blood, everyone in town viewed her that way. He’s her father. Thus, everyone seemed to perceive and treat him as merely a father and not as an actual person that has his own needs and wants. Joel loved his daughter. Terribly so in ways he couldn’t decipher. A part of him has made up his mind that this would be how he should spend the rest of his life: in celibacy. Though the retirement of his sexual and romantic life has slowly taken a toll towards his self-esteem. Tommy, who’s always known to be rather slow and imperceptive, was surprisingly the first one to take notice of his gradual change.
“Maria told me you might be here.”
Tommy’s gruff voice brought him out of his trance. Joel looked up, meeting the familiar figure crouch to get into his little workshop. It was his newfound hobby these days, becoming a hermit and isolating himself from the community. He’d craft a wooden figure or two each night while he relived each and every one of his memories. Good and bad. Of death and of birth. Then by the end of the night he’d feel mildly satisfied with a wooden sculpture shaped like memorabilia from the old world. Joel couldn’t admit it outloud, but insecurity had taken over him. It festered deep into his soul that he couldn’t even bear looking at himself in the mirror anymore or present himself to society.
“Yeah, just..” he paused to ponder on a better way to answer. “Just doin’ my own thing.”
“You skippin’ dinner again?” Tommy’s curiosity sounded oddly suspicious, enough that Joel already knew he’s about to say something obnoxious or entirely uncalled for. The older quirked his thick eyebrows in return.
“Made myself my own plate,” Joel cocked his head towards where a lone plate sat. Judging from the crimson stain smeared on top, it must’ve been one of those canned pastas that he picked out.
“Brother..” Tommy started out, visibly nervous of how his brother would take it. “Is there something wrong?”
“With me?”
“Yeah, with you.”
“No, not that I could think of,” Joel hummed. “I ain’t bitten or anythin’, why are ya asking such a dumb question anyway?”
“You’re just different these days,” Tommy reasoned with a small frown. “You barely come out of your house and if you do, you’re huddled up in this place, carving things for hours on end.”
“There’s nothin’ wrong with wanting to be alone. Is there?” he challenged.
“No, but you’re.. different. Almost like your mind’s troubled for once.”
“There’s nothin’ wrong, Tommy,” he insisted.
Joel was actively avoiding the accusations. He stood up from where he’s been perched upon for hours on end, bringing his half-carved wooden slab with him to set it on one of the displays he had. He’s grown quite the collection. It’s been going on far longer than he’d expected, the crippling fear of being undesirable and hideous, and it brought up an immense feeling of embarrassment. He couldn’t possibly admit such things to Tommy, could he? Tommy was different from him. His first child was on its way to be birthed, but girls still chatter about his charming smile and strong figure. They’d still gossip and make dirty guesses about his size. How long he endured such activities, the position he enjoyed best, and how sweet he was to his partner.
Tommy couldn’t possibly understand his fear.
“You can’t help me even if I told ya,” he grumbled.
“Put some trust in me, will ya?” Tommy chuckled as he spun around his seat to follow Joel’s every move. “Tell me what’s troublin’ you, big brother.”
“They don’t look at me the same way.”
“Who doesn’t?”
“The ladies,” Joel muttered.
His words were barely above a whisper. It almost seemed as if he saw the phenomenon as something humiliating, up to the point where he couldn’t even look Tommy in the eye in fear of having him laugh. He’s never talked about this with anyone else. It didn’t help that he truly didn’t have anyone to talk to in general aside from the few acquaintances his brother introduced him to and well.. Ellie. But none of them seem to be the right person to talk to regarding this.
Regarding his failure in masculinity. His unspoken worries that he didn’t have any of the strong, chiseled jawline or any of the tightly packed abdomen with six separate squares to admire. He’s grown old and weak. Five years ago, he could’ve probably still sweet-talk his way into a woman's heart, but now he couldn’t even look one in the eye without the fear of being put to shame.
“They still do, Joel,” Tommy assured him. He’s telling the truth. Joel knew that Tommy didn’t have it in him to lie, he’d have sounded like a strangled bird or a squeaky dog’s toy if he did. But his mind couldn’t believe it one bit.
“I don’t know, Tommy..” he muttered. “They don’t look at me the same way. They don’t look at me at all even.. and I’m fine with that I 'spose. I ain’t a whorin’ bastard who couldn’t accept that he’s agin’..”
“But they do, Joel.”
“I’m old,” he sucked in the air. “Lately there are these moments where I.. where I’d look a girl in the eye and all I could feel was humiliation.”
“Humiliation?”
“Like they’re lookin’ at me as if I’m some.. some sort of repulsive creature,” he whispered. “I feel like I could hear ‘em gigglin’ with their girlfriends on how shameless I am.”
Tommy was deduced into silence. Time ticked by as he cranked up his brain to figure out the best way to aid his older brother out of his misery. It’s all in his head, Tommy knew that Joel knew that as well, but it’s easier patching up an oozing wound than a troubled mind. He brought his hand together on top of his jeans as he waited for the younger to make another comment, whether of comfort or of a harsh reality.
“I’ll offer you a solution,” Tommy spoke up. “But you gotta promise not to lose your head over it.”
“It ain’t drugs, is it?”
“No, no..” Tommy chuckled humorlessly.
“I’m open to anythin’” Joel dropped his arms to his side as he curiously eyed Tommy.
“Have you ever heard of a glory hole?”
Joel’s expression contorted in such a way that the younger Miller couldn’t possibly read what he’s thinking any longer.
“I ain’t goin’ outside those borders just to go to some sketchy brothel, Tommy. That’d be pathetic.”
“Well, the thing is this whole operation ain’t sketchy,” Tommy reasoned. “The girls were tested and approved by the local doctor before..”
“Local doctor? You tellin’ me this is happenin’ within Jackson?”
“I operate it, Joel,” he sighed, knowing he’s about to be bombarded with a handful of questions. “And before you ask, no this ain’t considered prostitution as there’s no material exchange.”
“You mean..”
“Yes. The girls do it for free. Volunteers. They do it for their own pleasure and I help make their dreams come true.”
Joel looked at his own brother as if he was a mad man. Who wouldn’t? When he’s just told him that they had an actual glory hole installed without most of the public knowing. Or perhaps they knew, they were just not talking about it in front of Joel.
“Ten to twelve. There’s a small house across the sheep field. One girl every Friday night.”
“Jesus Christ, Tommy. Maria knows about this?”
Tommy shifted uncomfortably on the stool.
“No, but it’s better off she doesn’t.”
Joel felt his morals set askew for a second. This sounded like a terrible idea, despite the fact that he’s confirmed it himself that it’d be the safest a glory hole could possibly be. He scratched his beard and took it into deep consideration.
In the quiet stillness of a winter’s night, the world was wrapped in a soft, white blanket of snow. The moon hung low in the dark sky - a beacon towards those who chose to travel in the deepest hours of nighttime. Joel blew puffs of warm air onto his gloved fingertips, hoping it’d satiate the coolness that made his joints ache and his skin itch. The air was crisp and biting, each breath producing a frosty cloud which quickly amalgamated into the air. He watched as gentle snowflakes, alike to elegant ballet dancers, fell from the heavens up above and twirled and swirled into an intricate pattern. He’s been waiting for way too long.
“So what are ya sayin’? Are you gonna let me take you tomorrow night?” Tommy broke the silence.
Tommy promised to meet him on the edge of the sheep field, where they’d herd livestocks all throughout the warmer times of the year, but he’s yet to see his tall nose and dark hair from any of the cardinal directions. He’s been waiting for too long to keep the same mindset Tommy’s trained him into, that this was simply a beneficial exchange for every party involved and that he shouldn’t feel shameful for something so instinctive. Waiting gave him time to weigh out the cons, how this was naturally an act of debauchery that wounded both his moral values and beliefs. He ain’t a God preacher, but he’s sure to keep some of those Southern manners.
Maybe this was a bad idea.
None of Tommy’s ideas are ever well thought out. Starting from his sudden gravitation towards the military, to his desires to hand over his entire life towards the Fireflies, and now this. He knew his younger brother wasn’t the brightest of men, but creating an entire glory hole to keep the town’s morale up might be the stupidest one he’s heard yet. Especially when Maria’s not aware of it. He feared for the day when the beans spilled out of its jar, but tonight wasn’t that day. During the time in which he contemplated his decisions, Joel didn’t notice the crunching of snow against thick boots. Tommy was here and he looked far too calm for a self-made procucer.
Tommy beckoned him to follow the path his boots had made. Joel sucked in some of that painfully cold air into his lungs, before he stuffed his hands in his pockets and started trailing along. There were a few street lamps across the field, a ruddy glow emanating from them as they were adorned with a light dusting of snow. He kept his guards up while he scanned through the whistling field of crop, that traumatized part of him always keeping in check of abrupt movements and unsettling sceneries. After a quiet walk for a good three minutes, they finally arrived. The house fronts looked dark enough, and the windows even darker, contrasting with the smooth white sheet of snow upon the roofs.
There was snow piling up outside as well, dirtier ones whose last deposit had been plowed up in deep furrows by the heavy wheels of carts and wagons. He scrutinized over the tracks, wondering if this was meant to be used as a makeshift grain tower. If it was, then Tommy must’ve been a great scheming asshole to turn such a place into his own little heaven. Not one soul was around, which confused Joel even more. Wasn’t this supposed to be a public glory hole? Weren’t it supposed to be disgustingly packed with sweating men, adorned with walls covered in left-over spurts of cum and other bodily fluids, and smelled like sex itself?
Joel continued to pursue Tommy even when he’s overly skeptical about this entirely new scene. His boots were scuffed as he was dragging his feet through the front door, a fight against his defense system that’s begging him to flee out the door at the unfamiliarity. The establishment consisted of a long narrow hallway that eventually led up to an imposing door. Wooden, large, and mysterious.
To his surprise, what was beyond that door wasn’t some tacky sex dungeon with rattling chains and leather whips, it was a modest looking box. Square, he’d assume one meter wide and half a meter tall. He took in the wood it was made from. His pointer finger slowly traced the circumference out of habit. Oak, he concluded, making it sturdy and cool even in the warmer weather. What he failed to notice from the get-go was a pair of legs that were stretched open, chained onto the wall from the considerably-sized gap. Joel’s heart dropped to his stomach, he forgot for an entire minute what he was planning to do, and he’s starting to get cold feet.
“Darlin’, I’ve got someone for you,” Tommy cooed.
“You do, Tommy?”
Normally, people acquire hobbies in order to soothe their brief but occasional boredom, though you have discovered a unique way to tackle long hours of the night. This brilliant discovery of yours was birthed from a fated moment. One where you accidentally stumble across the conversation Tommy had with one of his patrol friends. It began a fantasy in your head. One you didn’t believe could come true until you overheard a passionate storytelling session one of the barmaids gave their friend. Only then did you gather enough courage to talk to Tommy about it. Despite his initial disapproval, saying things like you look too good and gentle to be doing such things, you managed to convince him with a week's worth of nagging.
“Mhm, one of my good friends here,” he hummed. “You’ll let him use you like a good fucking girl, won’t you?”
Goosebumps trailed from your backbone down to where your legs spread wide. Your nervousness made you flinch, effectively causing your legs to rattle against the metal restraints.
“Yes, I will, Tommy.”
When did you get so.. obedient?
“Alright then. I’ll see you in um.. twenty?”
“Thirty,” the foreign voice spoke up, masculine with a twinge of accent.
“Thirty it is.”
The entire room went quiet for an entire minute, only then did you finally hear the door slammed back shut. You swallowed back the throbbing fear in your heart, pushing back those persistent thoughts constantly warning you of the dangers. Even if you trusted Tommy with all your life, you didn’t trust the random strangers Tommy’s picked out. How could you trust them when you didn’t know who they were for sure? They could’ve been someone you see on the daily. The friendly guards, the cafeteria guy who’d always beam a sweet smile your way and give out more bread than standard, or even.. Tommy’s hunk of a brother. The same one who wouldn’t even spare you a look when you’re obviously sending heart eyes his way.
“Darlin’ is your name, ain’t that right?”
There was something so.. alluring about his voice. The type that makes your knees buckle inevitably, despite your best efforts to push it apart.
“That’s right,” you squeaked out.
“Darlin’, it’s been a long long time since I’ve done this, so let me indulge in you alright?”
“Okay,” you breathed out unsurely.
Your eyes instinctively followed the direction of the hushed voice, but all you could see from the dim box was a piece of dark fabric that was hung from above the hole. It was to keep your identity a secret so that the patrons across from you could only see you from the belly button down. Though now you felt more inclined than ever to pull on the draping and meet this man’s eyes. Your thoughts soon diminished when you felt a large hand over your inner thighs. Nowhere dangerous, just resting below where your kneecaps sat. You closed your eyes to try and envision the kind of hands touching you.
Were they soft and unsullied like a baby’s bum? Or were they rough and ridged with years of work?
That large hand traveled down South, inching with an irritatingly slow pace down towards where you ached the most. He was a fair man. He treated both of your thighs in the same manner before the two gathered together in a v-shape over your cotton panties. You wondered if you should’ve worn something more enticing, something which suited a person like you - someone willing to spread their legs for a true stranger. But the man on the other side didn’t seem to have a problem. He didn’t seem like he was bothered by the simplicity of your presentation, instead he was keen on pressing his thumb down the center.
They were the latter.
His fingers were textured and it felt too good to be true. At the briefest touch, you followed after his movement, hips reaching further up to chase after his departing touch. You whined. Frustrated that he’s cruel enough to press your sensitive clit and leave you all hot and bothered. He let out a deep chuckle, one that came out from the depth of his stomach as he placed his thumb back where it belonged. Your hole clenched and unclenched at the stimulating sensation. Your cotton panties seemed to be a great aid for your needy clit. It felt similar to grinding over a pillow, just this time, it felt a lot more real and animated.
“How long have you been doin’ this, darlin’?”
“Doin’ what, sir?”
So polite. It’s laughable the fact that you’re so soft spoken. Your lips spilled out a gentle moan as his thumb dug deeper into that sensitive spot.
“Lettin’ strangers fuck you,” he was frank with his words that’s for sure.
“This is my first time.. in the box that is,” your voice cracked almost immediately under pressure. “Been thinking of this for a long long time though.”
The gruff man hummed noncommittally as he continued to please you with his thumb. You used to be shy when it comes to being reactive during intercourse, but with the box, it almost felt like you could finally be your true primal self with your utmost carnal desires. He slowly eased your stained panties to the side once he saw an increasingly growing wetness, knowing that it’s time to move on to his next way of torture. Your pussy was exposed to the cool air immediately, it felt like the air was nipping at the sensitive skin all around. He took his two fingers - his middle and pointer finger being his favorite choice despite the controversy - and slowly dragged it atop the slick canal.
“A pretty girl like you gettin’ all wet from a little touchin’,” he chided. “You haven’t been fucked well or somethin’?”
What a considerate man. He called you pretty when he could barely tell what you look like.
“No, maybe, I-” you were flustered. You’ve never had to exchange proper talk when someone’s touching your dirty, wet cunt. “None of Jackson’s men did good. That’s why I hoped..”
Your voice trailed off into a garble of nonsense when he teased at your entrance, trying to decide whether you’re soaked enough to push a finger in comfortably. You whined, louder this time, as your legs fought against the uncomfortable metal cuffs wrapped around your ankle. He decided to play nice for once and made your dreams come true by inserting that thick finger of his. Fingering has never felt good for you, it always felt like an intrusion rather than a welcomed feeling, but he’s making it feel like heaven on earth.
“Hoped a stranger would fuck me well enough,” you took awhile to finish that statement.
He let out one of those noises of disapproval, at your skewed moral direction perhaps or at the tone of desperation your voice must’ve let out. You could only suck in a shallow breath when he started making proper, continuous motions with his finger. He pushed upwards to poke the tip of his finger onto that squishy part, playing around to find out where exactly made you react the most. You loved how he’s patient. You’re half-expecting the men to just stuff their cocks in you like you’re some sex doll instead of taking their time, which you don’t mind either. Half the pleasure was from being treated like nothing.
“Dirty gal,” he degraded, which you found both surprising and exciting. “Just wanted her pussy stuffed with any cock she could have, hm?”
Your hips thrusted up at a larger interruption. This time, the man managed to insert two of his thick fingers inside your eased cunt. He twisted it one-hundred-eighty degrees to the left, then back to the right, before he curled it in a come-here motion. The motion had left you dumb. A combination of ah ah ah’s and unfinished pleads for him to keep still. The man never once fully removed his fingers out of you. He’d slowly pull back to only have a single knuckle stuck inside before pushing it all the way in once more. For once, someone didn’t finger you like you’re a pizza dough waiting to be pounded.
“A-ah, sir. I really.. mmh- I really like that,” you moaned out shamelessly. “Feels really good in my.. in my pussy.”
“You like what, darlin’?”
“Like your fingers.. fingers in my ah- ah pussy!” you whined when he deepened his reach by rotating his wrist upwards. “Something- fuck- something’s coming! Please.. Please don’t sto-”
You warned him like a goddamn virgin and there it was, you couldn’t see it, but you could hear the way your pussy squelched around his finger at the new wave of sticky fluids. The noises were filthy and lewd that you were embarrassed for the first time that night. It coated your throbbing cunt and slowly ebbed out of your hole, dribbling down onto the wooden floor boards under. Strings of almost translucent thickness proof of his success. It’s pretty. The way you gaped around his fingers, tightened and relaxed at his fingers that still kept you full.
“Good girl,” he cooed.
He must be experienced, because he was quick to rub your clit precisely as you went through the throes of orgasm. His broad palm never missed where that bundle of nerves were, until you’re dripping all over the place. Only when you’re right towards the end did he land a small smack atop your pussy, keeping pressure where your womb is to maintain the pleasure for as long as you could. It felt like this wasn’t a shit place for once. It felt like this stranger could surely turn the flesh-eating monsters into a field of rainbows and flowers from how good he’s making you feel.
“You taste sweet,” he muttered. “Someone ever told you that?”
It took you a while to notice that his fingers weren’t there to stuff you full. He was busy tasting you. You could imagine him on the other side of the room, rough fingers deep in his mouth, drenched in your arousal. The thought made you squirm, growing wet once more. You shook your head as his hand slid back up. His fingers ran over your clit with one long stroke before they stayed there. His thumb sat right atop the throbbing spot, unmoving.
"Perfect little thing, ain't ya?” he asked, and you nodded, your muscles tense as anticipation ran high. "Gonna fill you up real nice."
As soon as the dull tip of his cock prodded against your entrance, your whole body convulsed. Tears slowly crept into your eyes, frustrated, you might as well cry out a pathetic plea if he kept on stalling. Your palms banged flat against the side of the box. Overwhelmed and on the verge of tears when he purposefully missed your weeping hole. His length slid upwards, the warm tip rubbed against your clit from below before it shied away once more. Your toes curled and he must’ve taken the hint from behind the curtains.
The perfect stranger pushed himself up to where his mushroom-like tip ended, allowing you to adjust to the dimensions of his cock before he eased himself deeper.
You let out a strained moan.
You almost bump the top of your head on the oak boards when he forced his way in. His cock was fully inside you at last. You were ecstatic. Eyes shut close as you bit into your bottom lip, flesh tearing beneath your canines. It was too much all of a sudden. Too good. Too large. Too full. You could hear the loud squelching noise your spongy hole made as he pulled back and stuffed himself back in.
“Fuck,” he groaned silently. “Don’t squeeze around me, darlin’. You're gonna get me in big trouble.”
He chuckled and fuck did it sound so hot.
You felt his fingers gently reach for the width of your hips. His grip was tight and harsh as he guided your every movement with them. He thrusted like a man on a shooting range, with much precision and prowess. You liked this. Liked feeling as if you’re just a doll for people to use and dump their loads in, especially when it's for someone like him. His cock made you writhe and fight against the metal cuffs holding your legs up. Eager to have him speed up to meet your desires yet he was persistent in keeping a stable speed. The sensation was growing. Slowly but surely.
“A-ah.. mmph.. oh God!”
“God ain’t here to save you, darlin’. It’s just this old man right here,” he cooed crudely.
He made sure to keep you full at all times. Never once did his perfectly-sized cock leave your sloppy hole, it just kept on twitching and growing in size with the help of your warm embrace. “You like this, don’t ya?”
“Oh- oh yes. I like it. Love your..,” he stopped your lewd confession by placing his thumb back atop your once neglected clit, drawing lazily with what’s left of your wetness. You could feel him starting to seep. A tinge of his own arousal mixing in with yours. “Cock! Love your c- cock.”
His heavy pants started to intensify in volume, such a lovely melody when combined with your pathetic whimpers. He’s close.
“Gonna cum in you, darlin’” he muttered out breathlessly. “Gonna make sure you’re all fucked out with my cum.”
You couldn’t think straight. Not when you’re on a highway to heaven. Your little hole tightened, so eager to milk him dry.
“Yeah, you’d like that, won’t you?”
“O-oh.. oh yes. Please.. fuck,”
“Please?”
“Please fill me up.”
His tip started oozing out ribbons after ribbons of cum, quickly filling you up relentlessly. Though he hasn’t stopped bottoming himself up into you. His load sloshed around, coated his length a perfect milky shade, and dribbled down your rear deliciously. Did you really just let a complete stranger fill you up to the top? Did you truly just let him pour his seed up your needy hole?
Maybe you did.
And maybe it’s reckless.
But oddly enough, you don’t feel too bad about it.
#joel miller x reader#joel miller x f!reader#joel miller x you#joel miller smut#joel miller fic#joel miller tlou#joel miller#tlou x reader#the last of us x reader#tlou fic#tlou#the last of us
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HELIOTROPES
pairing: dottore x fem!reader & segments
summary: the gods were sick and twisted. for five hundred years, he believed he was fated to be alone. he had long accepted it—embraced it, even. that is, until a midwinter night when that elusive red thread finally appeared on his finger. but as much as he wants to ignore it, the pull of a soulmate simply cannot be ignored.
genre: soulmate au, canon compliant for the most part.
warnings: fem!reader, worldbuilding for snezhnaya & fatui & fontaine, dottore's past includes webtoon mindset.
notes: okay y'all i know I gave u a choice over what u want to see int he next chapter but free choice is only an illusion & mother knows best & I took ur wants into consideration & decided against it bc I had a rlly great idea that can only be implemented in this chapter bc there would be no other opportunities for it later on. but im rlly happy w how some of these scenes came out so hopefully u guys are too.
RISE OF A KING, FALL OF A QUEEN
This again.
You wanted to frown as you found yourself in a large room akin to a chamber with a tall, dome-like ceiling and marble pillars that stretched the height of the room. You were sat in a chair, wooden and creaky, and you could feel the cold shackles wrapped around your ankles without even looking down to see them for yourself.
There were six figures sitting before you, each on large seats that reminded you of Chief Justice Neuvillette’s back in the Fontaine courthouse. Even the air was similar--damp and heavy, it made your skin crawl.
He was on trial, you put together quickly, but for what? And… where?
There wasn’t much in your line of sight besides the six people sitting in front of you. No, that’s not right. You could see a few more figures from the corner of your eye--they were armed with swords and polearms, tense and ready to act. They wore uniforms of some kind but you couldn’t make out what they were from, you didn’t recognize them.
“Three hundred years,” one of the men in the six seats spat out. “It’s been three hundred years since the sages have had to gather for a situation like this. This should have been handled before it escalated to this, Sayid. He no longer brings shame just on the Kshahrewar Darshan, now he brings it upon all of us. This has gone too far.”
Sages, Darshan, this was the Akademiya. These were the Great Sages. The people lining the wall were the Matra.
“Attempting the forbidden, interfering with natural evolution, delving beyond the universe--three sins that he has committed and somehow this is still a discussion,” another voice--a woman this time--added on.
You thought that he should have felt anxious, upset, or even offended by the accusations but you could feel nothing. No tug at your heart, no feeling of your stomach dropping, just a cold and empty void where there should have been emotions.
“It is a discussion because there’s not yet any proof of the sins having been committed,” a tight, male voice rebutted. “What say you, Zandik? Will you defend yourself or just sit there silently?”
Zandik. That was his name--only now you could remember, though it felt as if you had never even forgotten it.
Your lips moved as he responded, voice apathetic and dismissive: “There’s nothing to say… as you said, there is no proof of sins that I have to defend myself from.” His lips pulled up into a thin smile as he spoke, one that unnerved you and you couldn’t even see it. From the expressions on some of the people sitting in front of you, they were just as unnerved as you were.
“He doesn’t even care, Sayid,” the first man hissed. “He won’t even address the accusations laid against him.”
“Sins are not the issue at hand,” a new voice spoke up, voice low and heavy. “We are here to discuss what happened to my Dastur in the Apam Woods.”
Finally, a reaction from Zandik. He raised his chin in response to their words, a feigned attempt at confidence but you could feel the discomfort that began to stir within him--the unease. Somehow you knew that whatever he had been told he was called here for, this had not been it. They had caught him off guard.
“What is there to discuss about that?” Zandik asked. His voice sounded the same as it did before--indifferent, perfunctory--but you could feel the way his heart was beating just a fraction faster than it had been before, you could feel the way his shoulders had stiffened. “It was an unfortunate encounter with a group of Rishboland Tigers. Tragic and should have been avoidable but one of the other trainees had forgotten to set up incense to ward them off.”
“Yes,” one of the men agreed with him, “so the official report says.”
You felt restless as if you wanted to bolt from the room and hide… or he did, for the most part, but some of it was your own. You had attended enough court sessions at Fontaine’s court to know exactly what your soulmate was being accused of… and you had seen enough guilty defendants to know that the accusations were likely not far off from correct.
Did he…?
“Yes,” Zandik agreed slowly, “because that is what happened.”
“Is it?” The man who initially changed the topic questioned. “The coroner has released to us the official report of Dastur Sohreh’s death. There were multiple trauma wounds… lacerations and contusions on internal organs… hemorrhage… but the fatal injury was a wound on the throat--a fractured hyoid bone caused by strangulation. You were the last person seen with Dastur Sohreh, were you not, trainee?”
“Sharnama,” a woman’s voice warned but the man only held up his hand, silencing her, waiting for Zandik to respond.
Zandik did not respond. You could feel the way he was scrambling for an answer, an explanation. You could feel how his heart was racing, how his body was tense. You could feel his anxiety and the realization dawning on him and it all made you sick to your stomach.
What did you do? You wanted to scream at him. Why did you do it?
As if they could hear your questions, the man continued. “Dastur Sohreh reported to me several acts of insubordination while you were under her tutelage--three times in which you acted without her authorization and brought risks upon the investigation team and an encounter with a ruin hunter in which you insisted on bringing the machinery back to the Akademiya to be disassembled and reverse-engineered, which I personally had to reprimand you for and had you removed from the author list of the investigation’s research paper. When did that happen in regard to Dastur Sohreh’s death, trainee?”
“A week,” the words were frigid and biting as Zandik finally spoke up. “It happened a week before her death.”
“Yes,” he drawled, “that was it.”
“I had nothing to do with her death,” Zandik said.
You thought you had gotten good at being able to tell whether or not people were lying. You spent three days a week in the court audience watching trials but you were in your soulmate’s body and you could not tell whether he was lying or telling the truth about murdering someone. His heart was racing and there was a twitch in the corner of his lip--the telltale signs of a lie but they could just as easily be a result of the anxiety stemming from being accused of murder.
(You wondered, distantly, if you were just making excuses so you didn’t have to face the reality that had so suddenly been thrown at you. You had enough experience in court to differentiate the guilty from the innocent.)
“I suppose we have no way of proving that… so you are not at threat of imprisonment,” was his only response but Zandik was not at ease by those words, as if he knew exactly what was coming next. “But with reasonable suspicion of your involvement on top of the allegations regarding your research violating three sins provides grounds for expulsion… assuming it is a unanimous decision.”
It was a question cast to the other five seated in front of Zandik. You noted how Zandik seemed more anxious at the prospect of expulsion than he did at being accused of murder and you weren’t entirely sure how to feel about that.
“Sharnama,” the only woman amongst the six spoke again, “you mean to make us the first council of sages to expel a student in centuries. The last time-”
“He murdered my Dastur, Anisa,” Sharnama snapped in response.
“I did not-” Zandik’s voice rose, harsh in defense of himself but he was cut off sharply.
“Enough from you, you had your chance to defend yourself,” Sharnama said, tone laced with venom.
“Sharnama is harsh but… the trainee has had a reputation since his time as a student,” one of the other men agreed after a few moments of silence. “His methods and theories… his interest in Khaenri’ahn machinery… It makes people uncomfortable.”
“Discomfort is not grounds for expulsion, Isami, but regardless, we cannot just dismiss all of these allegations. Should any of them prove to be true and it comes out that we knew and did nothing about it…”
“It would tarnish the integrity of the Akademiya,” the woman, Anisa, agreed quietly. “Sayid, Khalil?”
“This should have been handled when the accusations of him infringing upon the laws and rules our predecessors set up first came about,” one of the men said and you could feel Zandik’s throat spasm as he swallowed, panic beginning to set in.
“... Sayid?” Anisa pressed after a few moments of silence.
And you could feel it. You could feel that small, minuscule bud of hope begin to bloom deep in Zandik’s chest as he shifted a wild gaze over to the sage called Sayid. You had a decent understanding of the structure of Sumeru’s Akademiya after having looked into it because of your suspicions about your soulmate, you supposed this man was the sage of whatever Darshan Zandik was a part of--Kshahrewar, you remembered one of the other men mentioning before.
Zandik trusted Sayid to defend him, you could feel it and you could feel the way his face fell and the way his stomach dropped when Sayid looked away from him, as good an answer as damning him aloud as Sharnama took his silence as agreement, waving his hand for the matra to take him.
You didn’t think Zandik even registered what had happened until rough hands were forcing him to his feet, starting to drag him from the room, and then, finally, the rage hit--bitter and deep, overwhelming.
“Over rumors and false allegations,” Zandik spat out, hatred dripping from every word. “You’ll expel me for that?”
He got no response besides the harsh words of one of the matra urging him along but he struggled against them with every step, even with fingers digging deep into his biceps, bruising his skin, he was undeterred.
“You sages can’t even fall in line with the very virtues you set out to preserve,” he seethed, “and the sins that you deem so treacherous are just an excuse to chain anyone whose convictions do not fit your standards because you fear that a change in our way of thinking will displace your power.”
You had never felt anything like this before. This feral fury that had your blood on fire and your brain melting of coherent thought--uncontrollable and unquenchable, a type of bloodlust that shook you to your core and scared you because you could feel yourself angry too and you weren’t sure if it were remnants of Zandik’s rage spilling to you or not and you hated how you were being so influenced by his emotions that you couldn’t tell what was his and what was yours anymore.
“You’re going to regret this,” Zandik shouted as the matra pulled him through the doors of the chamber. His words, the sages’ words, they all echoed in your head over and over again--all of the accusations, his reactions, and you wondered what it meant and how much of it was true and you wondered who he was not for the first time and certainly not the last. “You’re going to regret this!”
He didn’t even bother to try the tricks he attempted last time--searching for something to read, yelling, blinking, he knew none of it would work and he wasn’t the type of person to make the same mistake twice.
The room he was in--she was in--was large and enclosed with an overwhelmingly sweet and sickly flowery scent that made his stomach churn. He had always hated floral scents and this was beyond anything he had ever smelt before.
And there were too many people. There were too many goddamn people. They were packed in seats before where his soulmate was sitting, they were lined up around the room as if they were waiting to do something, there were so many that the line was even pushed out two double doors, flowing into the hall.
What was going on?
Dottore couldn’t tell. His soulmate was facing the crowd of people--there was something behind her, he could tell that much. He couldn’t see any flowers so he assumed that whatever that scent was, was coming from behind her.
There was a man standing next to her--an older one with a cold, unfriendly expression and thick build. He watched as a woman approached the older man, disgust curling in his gut at the snot-faced expression painting her face, wide teary eyes and trembling lips as she reached for the man’s hand. Dottore wanted to step away, draw back and leave before the woman could set her eyes on him but alas, he was not in control of his body--her body--again.
The more he thought about it, the more odd this was. The last time he had witnessed her past through dreams, her emotions had been loud and intense, deafening. It had him spiraling because he couldn’t understand what he was feeling and he couldn’t tell if he was feeling it or if it was her.
Now, it was empty. There was no joy, no anxiety, no fear or sadness; just a cool void, reminiscent of how the past week and a half of silence from her had felt. Dottore wondered if that was why Celestia was forcing him to sit through another sequence of dreams--punishment for trying to push her away.
Succeeding in pushing her away, he corrected silently, there was an odd pit in his stomach at the thought. He should be happy, he had been worried that not even a direct strike against her persistence would deter her but he had found success in the first attempt.
It was what he wanted. He no longer had to deal with the frequent tugs on the thread. He no longer had to deal with the fluctuating emotions. He no longer had to deal with the good mornings and goodnights and the incessant questions.
The past week had been the most peaceful and productive he’s had ever since that damned string appeared and yet somehow, he was not happy.
It was what he wanted, he repeated but a part of him felt as if he might be trying to convince himself of it.
Around him, people were talking. He could see their lips moving and he could hear the words leaving their lips but they were unintelligible and garbled, it sounded as if they were underwater and only speaking half a word at a time, combining them to create words that didn’t make any sense. He couldn’t read their lips, no matter how hard he tried, it just looked as if they were speaking a foreign language.
The woman who had been talking to the older man now turned to his soulmate. Instantly, dread was rocketing through him--he knew what was about to happen and there was simply nothing that he could do about it.
Thin arms wrapped around her, tighter than he thought it would be and he wondered, hatefully, if his soulmate was some agent of Celestia sent to make his life a living hell. Three times now, he was forced to experience something through her that made his skin crawl. First, he was tossed around through that winter storm because she made stupid decisions. Then he was slapped. And now, there was a woman clinging to him, sobbing and speaking words that he couldn’t even understand and all he could do was stand there and let it happen because that’s what she was doing.
It took far too long for another woman to come along and drag her off. Dottore was livid, if he looked to the side, he was sure he would see snot on his soulmate’s shoulder and he could still feel bony arms digging into her sides.
He wasn’t sure how long she stood there. It felt like an eternity and only a few seconds somehow at the same time. People were passing by her in slow motion but they were gone in an instant. Dottore was distinctly unsettled, it felt like someone was fucking with his head, forcing him to perceive things wrongly.
Eventually, his soulmate was approached by someone new--a younger man with dark hair and purple-red eyes. He ignored the older man to her side, everyone else had stopped at him first and then moved to her but he had beelined right to her.
Something didn’t sit right in his stomach about that.
Dottore braced himself as best as he could as the other man reached out to grab his soulmate but instead of pulling her into a hug, he only grabbed her forearms, leaning his head down to say something that Dottore couldn’t understand again.
He was undeterred by her lack of reaction, trying again and again and again. Dottore had half a mind to bash his head in and tell him to leave, fed up by this whole situation. No matter how hard he tried, he just couldn't seem to escape this. When he thought he finally succeeded, he was dragged right back in by Celestia and their fucked up games.
Then, at last, Dottore could hear again. His soulmate was snapped out of whatever daze she had been in and noise exploded around him: scraping of chairs against the ground, mindless chatter, a violin muted in the background, slow and mournful.
A funeral.
For who?
It had to be someone close to his soulmate from how they were all approaching her and suddenly, he was reminded of that night all of those years ago during the event where Pantalone was being officially promoted to Harbinger. Father, branded right on his forearm. He had yet to get a look at his soulmate through a reflection--he wondered if this was the funeral.
Most of the chatter was sympathetic, talking about the deceased and reminiscing old times… but not all of it was. He could hear whispers of men talking about what this could mean for the stability of the court, eyeing up the new opportunities that came with this death, some sounded excited rather than melancholic, like hyenas feasting on one of their own.
“There you are,” the young man in front of her said with a small smile that made Dottore frown. “Ignore all of them, they did the same thing when my grandfather died. Came to the funeral under the guise of mourning just so they could see if there was any instability for them to leech on. There wasn’t then and there isn’t now.”
“There isn’t?” his soulmate spoke for the first time--her voice was hoarse and empty, the only sort of emotion was a dull sense of doubt. “All they talk about is how I’m too weak to take over for my grandfather. They say a woman is unfit to be warden.”
“If they saw the way you could work your family’s-” he began loudly.
“Wriothesley,” the older man standing next to his soulmate said, a warning written all over his face.
“Sorry,” Wriothesley said, looking away.
“It doesn’t matter anyway,” his soulmate said after a few moments of silence, voice quiet. “The instability is right in front of everyone’s faces. They can all see that they’re not here, Wrio.”
Wrio, Dottore thought to himself spitefully once he heard the nickname.
Wriothesley looked irritated at her words, glancing once at the older man again before speaking back up, “They didn’t show up at all? Your mother? Siblings? To your father’s funeral?”
There it was. Finally, a bit of emotion from her. She was hurt at his words, he could feel something pinching at his chest, a dark and unwelcome feeling but for some reason, it made him feel a bit more at ease after the past week of silence.
“They were busy,” she said quietly but Dottore could tell that she didn’t even believe the words herself. Neither did Wriothesley, if the expression on his face had anything to say about it. “They were, Wrio.”
Dottore wanted to roll his eyes once he heard the nickname again but instead, he distracted himself with what she had said. He thought back to the previous dreams he had of her past--being left behind by her mother and stepfather while they went to town, the argument with her mother and the slap… somehow, he wouldn’t be surprised if she had chosen not to go.
Wriothesley scoffed loudly, loud enough to draw the attention of some of the other attendees. “They’re despicable,” he spat out. “Especially that skeevy, rat-faced-”
“Come, Wriothesley,” a middle-aged man who looked just like the younger man said sharply, interrupting him before he could finish his sentence. “This is not the place for this topic. You can speak to your betrothed another time.”
Dottore blanched.
Betrothed?
Blood.
That was the first thing you noticed. The thick, nasty scent of iron was all around you--around him, whatever. It was disgusting, overwhelming. You wanted to throw up, you thought that if you were in your own body, you might’ve passed out but you were in his, Zandik’s, and he was totally unbothered by the smell.
Something was wrong with your eyes--that was the second thing you noticed. You had no peripheral vision, the only thing you could see was his hands resting on the lab table in front of you, fresh and dry blood staining his skin, dripping to the floor below.
He was angry, the third thing you noticed. You could feel the rage curling in his gut; his nails digging into the table, grinding against the metal. You couldn’t figure out what he was angry about and you weren’t sure if you wanted to know because you had a distinct feeling that it had something to do with the blood on his hands and the lab table.
Zandik finally moved, an awful scraping sound meeting your ears as his nails dragged against the metal when he pushed off the table. He paced up and down the length of the room, muttering to himself.
“Everything was right.”
“What went wrong?”
“-was supposed to work, don’t under-”
As he turned, you could see something--some sort of machine laying across the lab table that hadn’t been in your line of sight before. You wondered if these were ruin guards that he talked about so much. There was something pooling around it; from the distance you were at, you thought it might be oil but Zandik turned on his heel to move closer to it and a sinking feeling formed in your stomach when you realized that it was not oil, instead it was a massive puddle of blood surrounding the machine.
What the fuck? You thought to yourself as Zandik stood in front of the machine, taking one of its arms in his hand. The metal somehow felt cool and hot at the same time, uncomfortable to the touch. You wanted to let go of it, there was blood coating the metal and staining his hands even more, but Zandik’s grip was tight around it.
Why was a machine bleeding? You were sick at the thought, hoards of horrible possibilities running through your head but you didn’t get a chance to dwell on any of them.
Zandik sighed, annoyed, jerking away from the machine again to pace. His head shook back and forth in a rough manner that started to give you a headache, he did it over and over and over again and you wanted to scream at him to stop.
“This was supposed to work, Grand Sage,” he said, clicking his tongue sharply once, then twice, and then a third time. “This was supposed to work. I did everything right. Why aren’t you working?”
Is he talking to-
Zandik marched right back toward the machine, much to your displeasure. The longer he stared at the automaton, the more uncomfortable you felt. You could tell that it had been modified in several places, disassembled and put back together but it almost looked as if… he had put something inside it?
“Why aren’t you working, Grand Sage?” he repeated, humming to himself irritably as he tapped his fingers against the metal. “I even went out to fetch you a new core, you’ve always been so damn ungrateful, haven’t you? Everything I did for your Darshan and you still turned your back on me. Ungrateful, even when I’m trying to make you greater than man.”
-to the machine?
You wanted to wake up, you didn’t want to see whatever this dream was showing you. You wondered if it was some cruel joke the gods were playing on you by showing you this. Or maybe they were trying to help you, you considered. He had made his opinion on you clear and yet every day you were still tempted to reach out to him, maybe they were trying to help you move past him.
“Is this what you plan to do with yourself?” a low, unfamiliar voice spoke up suddenly from the opposite end of the room.
Zandik was startled, heart racing and head whipping to the side as he snapped his fingers together. Instantly, there was a loud whirring machine coming from behind him, metal scraping against metal--the sound of an automaton coming to life. His gaze focused on a figure stepping out from the shadows of the corner of the room, tall with graying hair and a mask that covered the entire right half of his face.
“Who are you?” Zandik demanded harshly and finally, you caught sight of him through the reflection of a metal cabinet. Red eyes stared back at you through a mask that covered three-quarters of his face and short silvery blue hair that had blood dripping from the tips of his curls. “Who are you?”
“So much potential wasting away in this poor excuse of a lab,” the man continued, undeterred by Zandik’s hostility. An eerie feeling swept over you--you weren’t sure if it was you or Zandik becoming unnerved by the man, maybe it was both of you. “Don’t you want something more?”
“What are you talking about?” Zandik asked sharply, a scalpel clutched tight in his fist--somehow, you knew that it was no match for the man standing before him and you had a feeling that he knew that too. “Did the Akademiya send you? Who are you?”
“I came after hearing rumors of an expelled student performing heretical acts… So far I’m unimpressed.”
The anger that spread through him was like wildfire, consuming all rationality and any other emotion he might’ve felt. In an instant, the automaton that had awakened behind him was moving, launching across the room at a pace that had you reeling, blades slashing outward but then at once, it stopped. A cold silence took over the room, Zandik’s brows furrowed and his lips turned down as the automaton came to a stop, shutting down right before his eyes.
“Interesting enhancements… but unchanged at its core, meant to be operated by those that created them, not a follower of the gods.”
“I am not a follower of the gods,” Zandik spat out violently, stepping forward before he paused as if reconsidering the man’s statement. “Meant to be operated… you?”
“Yes,” he responded, ignoring Zandik’s entire change of demeanor at his words. You thought you might feel even more unnerved now, at the excited feeling bubbling inside Zandik as he stared at the man, waiting for him to continue. “What are your goals, outcast?”
Zandik frowned. “That’s not my name-” he began but was interrupted.
“If I cared for your name, I would have learned it. If you prove yourself useful, you will be given a new identity anyway,” he told Zandik. “Now answer me, outcast, what are your goals?”
Zandik didn’t answer for a moment, staring at him, but then he glanced back at the automaton still laying on the lab table, the pool of blood beneath it now larger. Luckily, his gaze didn’t linger on it for long.
“I’m going to enhance humans so that we can rival gods,” Zandik said, raising his chin to focus his eyes back on the man. “What do you mean? Prove yourself useful? To whom? You?”
“Lofty goals,” was all he received as a response. Zandik bristled. “How do you plan to do that? With what resources?”
Zandik opened his mouth to respond but no words left his lips. Finally, he pushed out, “I’m making progress just fine.”
“Yes,” the man said dryly, his visible eye drifting over to the mess behind Zandik. “I can see that…”
You didn’t think you liked where this was heading. Zandik was still suspicious but now he was intrigued, ready to listen to this man and whatever he had to say, and you had a feeling that this man would bring nothing good.
“I can provide you with resources,” he offered. “Funding, rare materials… new test subjects. All of the finest and as much as you need.”
“What do you want in return?” Zandik asked.
“There is a war coming,” he responded cryptically, “and you are going to help prepare us for it.”
“A war?” Zandik asked, baffled. “A war against who?”
But you knew.
You knew.
It was the same war that had the Hydro Archon’s paranoia escalating. The war that forced you to hide your soulmark and thread your entire life, that had you looked down on and whispered about because you had to tell people you had no soulmate. The war led by the same organization that had sent your stepfather to Fontaine as an infiltrator, the man who had killed your father and ruined your life.
At once, all of your nightmares and all of your worst fears came true.
“A war against the gods.”
Betrothed?
Dottore was appalled, reeling at the knowledge that was just forced onto him. The scene shifted, Dottore was now in a smaller room kneeling in front of a woman that he recognized from the first dream he had of his soulmate but he couldn’t even focus on the situation at hand.
Betrothed??
Since when had she been betrothed? Dottore thought that would have been one of things that she mentioned when she was rambling on about her days at night. He thought it might’ve been something that was at least hinted at when she couldn’t control what words were being sent to him.
“I have to leave, mother,” Dottore’s lips were moving as she spoke but quite frankly, he didn’t give a shit about whatever conversation she was having with her mother. The lack of emotions she was feeling left a vacuum that allowed his feelings to spiral and he was having trouble trying to keep control of them.
He couldn’t even tell what the emotions rattling him were. He thought that he had become better at pinpointing emotions ever since he was forced to deal with hers but this was foreign--green and ugly, beyond just anger or sadness, stronger than anything he’s felt in centuries.
“You do not have to leave, you’re choosing to.”
Dottore thought he might feel insulted--disrespected, even, being given a soulmate only for them to be married off to someone else. Another cruel joke played by the gods to spite him, a cruel joke played by her to spite him. He wondered if this was her getting back at him for never responding to those goodnight tugs she always used to do: talking to him, trying to get him to fall for her trap and respond, only for her to be with someone else.
“I do, I have to go. There’s something I have to do.”
He shouldn’t feel insulted, or disrespected. He shouldn’t care at all whether or not his soulmate was betrothed to someone else. He never planned on speaking to her. He never planned on meeting her. And he absolutely never planned to do anything about the bond forced on him by Celestia. In fact, this should make him feel better. It meant that there was less of a chance for her to reach out to him again if she was in a relationship with someone else.
It freed him of her. This should be a good thing for him, so why was he so angry?
“You won’t even tell me where you’re going,” her mother snapped. “Best not be to the north, there’s only so much more I can defend you from peoples’ suspicions. They’re starting to ask questions.”
But it was not a matter of whether or not he should or shouldn’t care. It was the sheer audacity she had to keep reaching out to him when she was set to marry, or even has married someone else at this point. She was trying to play games with him and if there was one thing that Dottore couldn’t stand, it was someone trying to play games with him--be it the gods, other Harbingers, or some random girl that Celestia decided to tie him to.
“It doesn’t matter where-”
“Of course, it matters,” the mother said, fingers digging into his soulmate’s forearms. “What am I to tell Her Excellency when she asks about where you went off to? The last thing our family needs is the speculation that would come along with people thinking you went off to Snezhnaya.”
Finally, he felt something from her--something sharp and jagged tugging at her chest that drew him from his thoughts, an emotion he had become acquainted with through her intimately over the past few years: sadness, disappointment.
“Wow,” she said dryly, “that’s what you’re worried about. Suspicions against your family. Not whether or not I might be going somewhere dangerous.”
“Don’t put words in my mouth,” her mother said, livid. “Of course, I care about whether or not you’re going somewhere dangerous. I’m your mother.”
“I’m not going to argue with you,” his soulmate said after a moment, rising to her feet and pulling her arms from her mother’s grip. “You can tell the Hydro Archon I’ve left for Mondstadt.”
“Is that where you’re actually going?” her mother rose to her feet after her, taking a step forward, but his soulmate did not respond. Her mother’s face fell. “You’re going north, aren’t you?”
Dottore finally focused on the situation at hand. North? But the only thing north of Fontaine was-
“Aren’t you?” her mother demanded. “You’re going to Snezhnaya? Why are you going there? To find him?”
Him. She must be referring to Dottore. But why would his soulmate come looking for him if she had…?
“I didn’t say that,” his soulmate shook her head, looking away out toward the window. It was a dreary day, dark clouds hanging low and rain sprinkling down to the streets below. “I told you to tell the Hydro Archon I’m going to Mondstadt.”
“Why are you going there? Why? Answer me,” her mother’s voice rose, eyes tearing up as she stepped closer to his soulmate. She stepped back, freezing her mother in place.
“Have you ever communicated with your soulmate through thoughts? The words that show up on your forearm?” she finally asked, tone harsh and accusing, a sudden change of subject.
Dottore paused, trying to put together what this might be about now. This was another reason why he hated these damn dreams, he never had any context behind what was happening and Dottore hated not knowing things.
“What sort of question is that?” her mother hissed, taken aback. “Of course-”
Her mother cut herself off suddenly, brows furrowing and lips twisting into a deep frown. Dottore could feel his soulmate swallow thickly, watching the reaction to her question. She had been expecting this and he wasn’t sure if it was dread or satisfaction pooling in her stomach--maybe both.
“Have you ever thought about why you don’t communicate through it? Have you ever tried and he just doesn’t respond? Do you try flicking your thread? Does he flick it back?” his soulmate let loose a barrage of questions and a creeping suspicion began to arise, wondering if she was implying what he thought she was.
“What are you trying to say?” her mother shook her head, stepping away. “Enough.”
“I’m not trying to say anything,” his soulmate responded, turning on her heel to leave the room. “But maybe you should think about it.”
She didn’t say anything else as she left the room and finally, Dottore could think.
She was accusing her stepfather of faking the bond with her mother, Dottore realized. But how would he do that? He knew people were capable of faking bonds through old magics but as far as he was aware that type of magic was all but lost… Dottore’s mind was suddenly racing, remembering all of the things he had forgotten in the last dream he had of her past: what he had figured out about the spy in the upper ranks of the Fatui and they had a spy in Fontaine, one of Arlecchino’s spiders and Arlecchino was capable of the old magic, and his soulmate was coming north to Snezhnaya so obviously she must have reason to believe that it had something to do with the Fatui, could it be-
Dottore felt a headache coming on.
He had a feeling that this was going to be very, very bad.
You woke up with a sharp, shaky breath. Your hand flew to your chest as you sat up straight, reeling from what you had just experienced. Blood, anger, betrayal, hope--what could you remember? What could you remember?
You scrambled to the small table at your bedside immediately, grabbing your notebook and panicking to find the pen that had fallen to the floor. You dropped to your hands and knees, fumbling around in the dark until you found it beneath your bed. You didn’t even bother rising to your feet again as you made yourself comfortable on the floor so you could start jotting down everything you remembered.
A cold, empty room. Six people. Exile? Sins and virtues. Lots of blood. An automaton. Uncontrollable, sickening rage. An unfamiliar figure. War.
War.
But what was the context? Your head was pounding as you tried to remember, you wondered if Celestia was warning you against trying to push too hard for information you’re not meant to remember yet. You didn’t care. You had to know.
War. The rebellion stirring in the north. But what about it? What was the damn context?
You glanced down at your forearm, frustration pricking at you as the window above you rattled against the Snezhnayan winter storm. You could feel the freezing air even from inside the warm room with the fireplace burning on the opposite wall--it was unlike anything you had ever experienced before, the cold storms at the estate that you thought were the end of the world paled in comparison to this.
You wanted to yell at him, demand to know who he was and what he had done, beg him for the answers that you should’ve received by now… but you remembered the words scrawled across your forearm, the cruel words that cut deeper than any of the nasty words that had been spat at you by people throughout your life.
He did not care about you, you reminded yourself, you have more self-respect than this. Do not reach out to him.
You sighed heavily, arm dropping to your side as you stared back up at the window, watching a branch scrape against the glass over and over and over again. You were only on the Snezhnayan border but already you were feeling anxious--you had half a mind to turn back but the only thing stopping you was the memory of your father, the lust for justice, vengeance. You couldn’t turn back, not until you had all of the information you needed, not until you were sure you could return to Fontaine and have your stepfather imprisoned in the Black Cells.
There was a heavy feeling in your heart as you pushed yourself back off the floor, putting the notebook away and taking a seat back on the thin mattress of the inn you were staying at, the wood of the bed frame creaking beneath you.
You had a distinct feeling that your journey to find proof against your stepfather would lead you to him as well.
He sat upright, eyes wild as he tried to figure out where he was. His heart was racing, anger was still flooding his blood, he breathed in and out deeply as he tried to regain control of himself. He was back in his lab--not dealing with any more of those god forsaken dreams. He wanted to spit out a string of vile curses up toward the gods but he refrained, trying to piece together what he could remember before the vague memories faded.
He flipped over the parchment he had been taking notes on before he had fallen asleep, rubbing the bridge of his nose and squeezing his eyes shut as he pressed his pen to the paper and noted down all of the hazy details.
Flowers. Wrio? Betrothed?? Mother. Leaving. Snezhnaya.
Dottore exhaled, gaze zeroing in on the third word of his list--betrothed. He glanced down at the thread connected to his thumb, inhaling deeply as an unfamiliar emotion began to churn inside of him. Before it could take hold, Dottore diverted his attention to the last two words.
Leaving. Snezhnaya.
What did that mean? What was the context? He couldn’t remember. Was she coming to Snezhnaya? Was she in Snezhnaya and leaving? Or did the two words not have any connection?
No, they had to be connected. It was something important, he knew that much at least, but what? The answer was on the tip of his tongue and again that temper of his began to thin, what was the answer? What was the goddamn answer? Why was she coming to Snezhnaya?
Should he ask?
The option rang damning through his head as he looked down at his forearm. She could be in danger if she came to Snezhnaya--the nation was becoming more and more antagonistic to outsiders, especially outsiders from Fontaine and Natlan and especially because of the masked hostile that was running through Fatui camps and slaughtering their underlings. No matter how much Pulcinella and Pantalone demanded that they take caution with outsiders, there was no telling what a heat of the moment reaction could lead to if there was a possible threat and Arlecchino had made clear that Fontaine was on the verge of becoming a threat to the Fatui.
As he contemplated his choices, Dottore suddenly paused, another realization hitting him suddenly: if he had dreamt of her past then…
Then she dreamed of his past.
Dottore waited, staring at his forearm--waiting for the questions, the disgust, the horror. It was inevitable, he knew it. Last time, he assumed they dreamed of similar time periods of their life. Hers was when she was young, five to twelve years old between both dreams, he assumed; and the word he received from her was cursed, which was directed at him from when he was a child up until he was chased from the village at ten. And if the time periods were similar… that left his Akademiya and post-Akademiya era up as options for what she could have dreamt about, and neither of those periods of his life were particularly pleasant.
He waited and he waited and he waited… but nothing showed up on his forearm, not a question nor an accusation, no emotion spread through him that he thought might’ve been hers--just emptiness, just like it had been for the past week and a half.
Dottore exhaled heavily, leaning back against his seat and staring up at the ceiling above him, trying to figure out what he was supposed to do with this and how he was supposed to make sure she didn’t get herself killed traveling through Snezhnaya.
The week and a half of peace was over and he realized, quickly, that it had only been the calm before the storm.
rbs appreciated!
#dottore x reader#dottore smut#dottore x you#genshin x you#genshin x reader#genshin smut#genshin impact x reader#genshin impact smut#genshin impact x you
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Yep, another of Omen bc im in love
STANDING ON BUISSNES
5:34 AM
You were in the kitchen preparing something to eat when you felt a hand on your shoulder, the sudden contact in the middle of the darkness made you jump and look back in shock, you laughed softly with a hand on your chest while Omen looked at you confused.
"Omen…" you whispered with a small laugh of relief and swallowed, standing up straight and waiting for him to say something, which he didn't. "What happened?" You asked and looked at him calmer, knowing that he wouldn't bother you for anything.
He didn't respond, he was too embarrassed to speak or declare himself, he just wanted you, as always, to read his mind and support him, your hand grabbed his in silence and then you nodded, he didn't let you let go of his hand and took you to the room. another section of the base, where his bonsai was located
Once there you yawned and sat in the nearest chair, letting go of his hand. "So… Cypher is still charging you?" You asked, your voice quiet and sleepy.
For a long time, Omen had been begging Cypher to help him discover his past, it was not until Iso appeared in the scene that Cypher agreed, only with the condition that Omen would have to pay him an absurd amount, the main problem, Omen did not He really has income, the supplies for weaving were a gift from Sage and the bonsai is part of the protocol greenhouse, only it is under his personal care, unlike the others, Omen was not human nor did he cover basic needs, therefore he never They gave him a salary, now it is a bigger problem
"I don't know what I'll do…" he whispered embarrassedly as he focused on his bonsai, he didn't change it but he did stare at it, clinging to those thin branches, with the only hope that everything would be okay. "Think positive, he couldn't kill you," you said, trying to joke as you got up from the chair and walked over to him, your hand caressing his shoulder.
"How much is it?" You whispered with a serious voice - "You're not going to-" Omen tried to protest but you interrupted him, "how much" he remained silent, you knew he wouldn't let you pay for him, you knew he felt ashamed of not having a salary as such, And although he had it, it was still not enough, and at the rate of his income it would never be.
"120,000 credits" he said with a low voice, you were surprised and gasped in disbelief why Cypher would charge him so much, you didn't complain, but you took a deep breath and nodded. "I'll deposit it for you tomorrow," Omen's body language froze, not believing that you would pay his debt for him. "You don't have to," he complained and turned around standing upright, looking intimidating because of how tall he is. (yummy)
"just accepts that I'm going to do this for you" you wanted to explain to him that you appreciated his friendship and would help him, but you understood that it would be difficult for him to believe only in words. You once told him that you would do anything for him, and a number is no obstacle to promises, and he needed actions.
He nodded shyly, your hand went to the side of what would be his face, his aura was calmer and more relaxed, without warning, Omen brought both arms around your torso and hid his head in your shoulder, pressing you against him. . You didn't complain, you just laughed softly and hugged him back, wrapping your arms around his shoulders.
"Your rice burned," Omen whispered in your ear as the smoke alarm began to sound throughout most of the base. "I know," you whispered back, laughing softly when he held you close to him.
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⎯ fanged jealousy﹑
﹔a miguel o'hara + gn!reader fic :: a 2 part fic
﹔requested by a friend of mine on discord ^_^ for their direct request: ﹑"miguel is jealous bc the reader was talking to another spider person (punishment type shit)" . . .
﹔pre a/n :: ahhh the miguel brain rot continues! i hope you all enjoyed my last fic (which im coming out w a part 2 sooner or later.. this is just a feast for in between). thank u to my discord bff for requesting this cuz this is kinda like a toe curling concept sooo ily !!
﹔CWs :: swearing, physical action, miguel whining cuz he’s jelly ☠️
for the past year or so, you have been your world's one and only spider-person. thwipping webs all around the city, you would save lives on a daily -- that is, until you got caught up with work at the spider society headquarters on earth-928.
miguel o'hara, formerly known as spiderman 2099, would assign you the shortest missions ever, making you get bored every second you punched a villain's guts out on some random universe you never thought existed.
miguel and you weren't that close. you could call each other friends, but never the type to say that you could trust each other. the only thing you knew about him was that he was some sort of leader of this whole society. he didn't think anything of you at first, and never showed any care or praise about you, until now.
you had just finished your mission on one of the earths, and he had asked you to help out margo, formerly known as spider-byte to everyone else, with some research thing. you weren't quite paying attention, and your eyes practically drifted off to the screens behind him, showcasing some child crawling all over him.
on the way over to spider-byte's 'lair' — which you called it that, considering she's there all the time, as if it's a dungeon — you seemed to bump into one of the spidermen passing by. tall, built, slightly thin. his mask covered his face, but he seemed to unmask himself just for you, to speak to you face to face.
the two of you spoke for about ten minutes in the middle of the hallway, talking about miguel, missions, how strict he is, and other things that involved your jobs. you found yourself bonding with him a lot more than you expected.
after the conversation, you said your formal goodbyes to each other and walked out without another word. he gave you a soft smile every now and then, which made you smile back a little. no idea who he was, but he was a little cuter than you thought he'd be. you were on your way to spider-byte's lair now.
the day was practically almost over, and just as you were about to go back to your dimension to check up on some things, your watch beeped, a holographic image of miguel showing up. he had his mask off, and he looked rather angry as he spoke, trying to keep his tone under calm management.
"y/n. you went to go see spider-byte, right?" he facepalmed, sounding a little tired — yet annoyed -- as his words were low and felt rusty. you nodded, letting out a little 'yeah' as his head lifted up.
"could you see me in my office for just a moment?" his voice strained on the last bit, emphasizing as his teeth gritted. you flinched a little, your agreeable smile turning into a fearful frown. you shakily nodded your head before heading over.
as you arrived, he was still at his screens, working like the usual workaholic he was. he looked a little tired, bags underneath his eyes — which there usually was dark circles, but not this bad. he was exhausted. exhausted from something.
your eyebrow rose as his triangular shaped platform lowered, his stance straightening as he turned around to look at you. he wiped his face, scowling.
"miguel, you wanted to see me s-"
before you could even finish a complete sentence to him, miguel threw a nearby metal table at you, causing you to dodge it once your senses started tingling, the hairs on the back of your neck raising. you gawked at his sudden violence, before he started stomping towards you, a low grunt escaping his mouth.
"you got all distracted by some kid in the hallway, huh?" he groaned into his words, towering over you as your feet instantly stepped back as a natural reaction. you cowered beneath him, before trying to maintain your posture against the superhero.
"no.. i was just talking to him for a couple minutes. how do you.. how do you know this?" you tried to keep your words steady, but kept trembling, as your hands shook, ready to defend yourself. he stared at you angrily, frowning.
miguel let out an exaggerated sigh. "i had called spider-byte, and she told me that she heard you and some man in the hallway having a chatter fest." miguel strengthened, pointing an accusatory finger at you while you stepped further back. "didn't tell me what you two were talking about.. which is not to my surprise.." he quickly added, his voice trailing off.
"sir, it was just a quick conversation, no harm was intended." your chest was just a little over your knees as you nervously smiled at him, trying to make light of the situation — the tense one. miguel let out a low chuckle in response, mockingly.
"a quick conversation." he smiled, rubbing his temples. "i'll have a quick conversation. but a quick conversation before something important i've assigned you?" he held up his arms beside him, his arm muscles shining in the blue light behind him, while the rest of his body looked and felt like a tall silhouette. his head leaned into yours, like some sort of angry chicken.
you bursted. "why do you care? are you jealous or something?" your strained voice yelling audibly at him, echoing throughout the whole room.
— shit.
he stood there in silence, his eyes drifting off to the side almost as if he was thinking of something. miguel's head nodded at his own perverted and aggressive ideas, almost physical ideas. thousands of thoughts ran through your head all at once, your body freezing as there was traffic in your head. a feeling of regret surged through you as he just stood there in silence.
miguel suddenly opened his mouth to speak lowly. "jealous." he blurted.
"jealous of what?" he let out a sinister chuckle, backing you up into the wall slowly. he looked absolutely crazy in the moment, his hair a little ruffed up, dark eye circles, it all came together just to make you tremble underneath him. his hands gripped onto your shoulders before speaking again.
"what would i be jealous of, y/n?" his low voice sent chills down your spine. fear creeped up your covered back as his head towered over yours, getting closer and closer to your neck every second, his fangs revealing. miguel's hot breath tingled against your skin as he got closer, and you could feel the long fangs he had out, his hunger overrunning any thoughts in his head.
you did this to yourself.
a/n :: IM SO SORRY BUT THIS WAS JS TOO GOOD OF A CLIFFHANGER. i hate to leave yall sad like this but it was the perfect moment for the cliffhanger i promise i'll get to work on a part 2 😭 THIS IS MY LAST CLIFFHANGER PIECE I SWEAR. ITS JS TEW GOOD TO WRITE CLIFFHANGERS.
#miumiulicious#atsv#across the spiderverse#atsv smut#miguel o’hara smut#miguel ohara#miguel o’hara x you#miguel o'hara#miguel spiderverse#miguel spiderman#miguel o’hara x reader#miguel o’hara x y/n#atsv miguel#miguel x reader#spiderman 2099#spider man 2099#spiderman 2099 spiderverse
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[ID: a traditional sketch of Jonathan Sims and Martin Blackwood from The Magnus Archives as they might appear as a woman and as a non-binary butch, respectively. Jon is a small, thin British-Pakistani woman with short curly hair. She wears a large cardigan with a cami and business casual capris. Martin is a tall, fat Vietnamese-Polish person with glasses, many freckles, and short hair with an undercut. They wear a tank top, leather jacket, and jeans with a carabiner clipped to their belt loop. Martin stands with one hand in their pocket and one hand on Jon’s shoulder, smiling fondly at her. Jon rests her hand on Martin’s at her shoulder and cuts her eyes back at them with a loving expression. End ID]
uhhh @tdogkarate said the words “butch lesbian Martin” and i blacked out and this happened. it’s v messy and i won’t vouch for the proportions but im sharing cause it made me happy and also filled me w So Much Gender
honestly this would change very little about them (including names i love them being girlies named Jon n Martin…) but here are some lil headcanons:
they/them lesbian Martin (yeah we’re openly projecting now what of it!!!!!)
Jon n Georgie started transitioning at the same time at uni and when Jon felt like she had to change her name, it was Georgie who assured her that it was ok to remain Jon
HRT did not affect The Voice much for Jon but she owns it and it’s sooooo sexy it’s fucking insane bonkers gorgeous. Martin has written no less than four poems about it (finding one of these in s2 may or may not have greatly softened Jon’s opinion of Martin)
Jon is hit a bit harder by concerns about her appearance after the coma, bc her head got shaved (goodbye beautiful gender-affirming hair) and she’s lost a lot of the weight that defined her figure. She gets angry at herself for even caring and it snowballs into her snapping at Martin at some point, but Martin, who’s Been There w body issues, reassures her as much as they can and takes her on a very nice trip down to Aberdeen to get some clothes other than Basira’s old athleisure wear. and after several hours of Jon being stared at starry-eyed by Martin and being told with soft awe “yeah you look incredible in that” like 500 times, she feels a lot better
anyway jonmartin rights in every universe forever i love them sm. also i love you women i love you butches i’m frankly feeling a bit insane abt it all right now
#feel like im being a little vulnerable by posting this idk hhjjjjshdk but i hope it makes y’all as happy as it makes me#would love to hear from you if you have Gender Thoughts about Them#tma#the magnus archives#jonmartin
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TEEN!Micheal Afton Fluff Alphabet
Warnings!: None!
they/them pronouns intended
A= Admiration (what do they absolutely adore about you?) :
He adores EVERYTHING about u! but the thing he most adores about you is your as- i mean your personality! Jokes aside, he adores every part of you but mostly your laugh. He just finds it so pretty and soothing.
B= Body (what is their favorite part of your body?) :
DEF YOUR THIGHS. HE JUST GIVE THIGH GUY VIBES YK?!?!! HE ADORES THEM NO MATTER THICK OR THIN, SHORT OR TALL, LIGHT OR DARK HE LOVES THEM ANYWAY‼️
C= Cuddling (how do they like to cuddle?) :
He def cuddles facing or spooning! He 100% small spoon most of them time, but if your not feeling well or your sad he’ll be big spoon
D= Dates (what does their ideal date with you look like?) :
Dates at the diner 100% (before bite of 87’ ofc) or arcade dates! He’d beat you half the time but sometimes let you win bc he’s a gentleman (to you and only you)
E= Emotions (how do they express emotion around you?) :
He has a hard time with emotions, especially after the d3ath of his little brother, but he tries his best to express his emotions to you from time to time.
F= Family (do they want one? If they do, when?) :
He definitely wants a family but just not yet, the reasoning is because his greatest fear is that when he gets kids he feels like he gonna turn into his father. So he wants to wait a dew until he forgets or the fear goes away!
G= Gifts (how do they feel about gift giving? What are their habits when it comes to this?) :
He LOVES gift giving he’ll find different stuff im the woods for you! (like twigs, rocks, mushrooms, etc.) you may find it odd but you still love him! He also wins a plushie from an arcade you mentioned one time, you were confused but loves it.
H= Holding Hands (when/how do they like to hold your hand?) :
He loves holding your hand! but also doesn’t like PDA that much. He’ll hold your hand or put an arm around your shoulder in public, just not too much! (hes got an ego to keep.)
I = Injury (how would they act if you got hurt?) :
If it was minor, he’s would laugh and tell you to walk it off. If it was major, he’d be bouncing off the walls in panic. Like fight or flight mode on, it chose flight. He’d run and grab the first aid kit he saw and run back to fix it (the best he can at-least)
J= Jokes (do they like to joke around with or prank you? how?):
He tries and jokes around here and there. He’ll make inappropriate jokes to make you laugh when your down. Sometimes he makes jokes about you and it gets out of hand sometimes so it ends with you guys curled up on the couch watching ghostbusters.
K= Kisses (how do they like to kiss you?):
HE LOVES TO KISS YOUR LIPS OR NECK. You can not tell me differ that this man would not kiss your lips nor neck 24/7. He just always ‘smooch’ on your soft lips or leaving soft pecks on your neck when you sit in his lap
L= Love (how do they show you they love you?):
He def shows love by spending time together wether it be at the arcade or your house, and he loves spoiling you sm. He may not be able to afford the best gifts but you don’t love him for money (i hope).
M= Memory (favorite memory together?):
His favourite memory of his was after his brothers death you comforted him very hard. He was having a panic attack and degrading himself so hard saying stuff like ‘i’m a fucking horrible person’ , ‘i should be here i’ve juts killed my own brother why am i still here’, and ‘god just take my now, i’ve murdered my brother, please let me be with him’ and you were like bbg no your wrong. He cried so hard that day, your shirt was soaked with guilt and woe.
N = Nightmare (what is their worst fear?):
Mentioned before (F-Family) his worst fear is him turning into his father. The reason being William was never a good father to Him, Evan or Lizzy, he would ignore them and sometime abuse Michael for the way he treats Evan. So if he ever has kids w/ you he never wants to treat his kids like that.
O = Oddity (what is one quirk they have?):
One quirk he has is he always quotes any movie he’s seen. Doesn’t matter where, when, or why he just does. Like out the blue he’ll quote “fuck me gently with a chainsaw” (ifyky) you’ll just have a confused look on your face the whole time.
P= Pet Names (what do they like to call you?):
The pet names he uses for you is Love, Babe, Baby 100% Reasoning because Love in a British accent is just *mwah!*, Babe is a basic pet name and he likes to keep things simple, and Baby because your a crybab- jk because your his bbg😍
= Quality Time (how do they like to spend time with you?):
He loves to hang out in the woods or the arcade with you. Either kicking your ass at air hockey or finding different rocks and mushrooms in the woods behind yours/his house.
R= Rhythm (what song reminds you of them?):
A song that reminds me of micheal is def Creep by Radiohead (ik basic) idk why but that songs juts gives me teenage micheal afton vibes
S= Secrets (how open are they with you?):
He’s decently open with you. He keeps some secrets to himself, like the way he treated his brother before meeting you or what his father does to him behind closed doors, but besides that he mostly opens up about his feelings and tells you what’s wrong in his life.
T= Time (how long did it take you to get together?):
It took you two 2 1/2 years to get together. You started out as best friends then you guys became enemies in late elementary school, then became friends again in early middle school and in late 8th grade, early 9th you started officially dating.
U= Upset (how do they act when you're upset?):
He tried his best to help cheer you up. Sometimes it works, sometimes it don’t. When it doesn’t he’ll also become sad then you’ll have to cheer him up and its juts a never ending cycle of sadness.
V= Vaunt (what are they proud of? Do they like to show you off?):
He’s very proud of his improvement of kindness to not only his brother but to everyone after he met you! He also loves showing you off. He wants everyone too know that your taken and his.
W= Warrior (how do they feel about you fighting? Would they fight for you, beside you, etc?):
He isn’t the biggest on fighting but would fight someone for you. He wouldn’t fight someone with you but still would be your biggest hype man on the side!
X= X-Ray (how well are they able to read you?):
He can read you pretty well. He can tell when your mood isn’t your normal mood. When you walk into a room slouching forward and not taking he knows what up.
Y= Yes (how would they propose to you?):
He would go to your first date spot (the arcade ofc) and do everything you did on your first date! That includes eating pizza, playing loads of different games, kicking your ass in air hockey, and winning you cool prizes! At the end when you won a prize he told the person at the prize counter to give you the ring box instead of the prize. He said his vows and what not you orc you said yes! Ofc at the end you still got your prize :)
Z= Zen (what makes them feel calm?):
The things that make him feel calm are You (ofc), Music, Arcade Games, and Sleeping. You because your the only person that has ever looked out for him, Music because its one of the only things that helps him in need, Arcade Games because it easily takes his mind off things, and Sleeping because it easily helps him get away from stuff lime his father and school.
#fnaf#micheal afton#fnaf sister location#fnaf fluff#fluff alphabet#alphabet#i am bored#fnaf fanart#fnaf security breach#imagines#micheal afton x reader#smut#fnaf smut#fnaf angst
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commission 1/4 for @ospreayelite
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。 ・ : * ˚ : ✧ 「 OWN MY MIND 」 。 ・ : * ˚ : ✧ 。
「 MASTERLISTS 」 | 「 AEW MASTERLIST 」 | 「 HANGMAN ADAM PAGE MASTERLIST 」
「 COMMISION INFO 」 | 「 LIKE MY WORK? BUY ME A COFFEE — KOFI — DXDDYHXUSEN 」
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「 SUMMARY 」 — he owned you, body and soul and he intended to prove that to you
「 WARNINGS 」 — 18+ [ MINORS DNI ], dark!adam, cnc, dubcon, roleplay submissive + dominant dynamic, thigh riding, squirting, daddy kink, hair pulling praise, degradation. humiliation, spitting, dirty talk, size kink, dacryphilia, face-fucking, oral sex [ male receiving ] throatpie, spanking, breast, rough sex, vaginal sex, penetrative sex, male + female orgasms, multiple orgasms, internal cumshots, vaginal creampie
「 WORD COUNT 」 — 3.3k
「 PAIRING 」 — fem!reader x hangman adam page
「 GENRE 」 — smut
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「 TAGLIST 」 — @cosmoholic13 @legit9thlunaticwarrior @thewrestlingbitch @omg-im-such-a-masochist @adamjf @wardlow @alexisquinnlee-bc @sammiejane22 @im-just-a-mississippi-girl @omegasluvbot @melissahausen @writtingrose @drummergrl1310 @unoficialy-married-to-ace-austin @bonehead-playz @cherrytheeredheadmamaclaymore @crowleysqueenofhell @romanreigns-supreme @janetreader @thenerdybaker523 @sunshinevirus @nicoleveno14 @rubyred1980 @igncrxntripley @ripleyswhore @embermdk @thepalaceofmelanie @violetmacher @seeingstarks @kennysbadkitten @darkangelchronicles @ripleyswife @selena-tyler-564 @auburnwrites @biforrollynch
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「 COMMENT IF YOU WANT TO BE ADDED TO THE TAGLIST 」
to say you were frightened of him was an understatement. adam was a brooding, imposing figure. his height made him tower over you, so domineering. you could not help but feel like an ant next to him. adam’s motives with you have become rather dark these past few months, he’d never let you out of his sight, claiming that he did not want anything bad to happen to you, just being protective as any good husband should. he fuse for patience blew up every time you interacted with another man, even your male relatives were not safe from adam’s almost primal rage.
now, your bodies parted across the room of a cheap, chicago hotel, your knees burned from being pressed into the thin, scratchy carpet. eyes avoiding the unappealing light that bled from the bedside lamp, drenching the room in a drab yellow glow. the curtain’s pulled back, although it provides no privacy seeing as how the material was sheer and worn through, holes chewed into the fabric from ravenous moths over the years.
adam sat across the room, naked. his cock stood tall and proud, idly stroking the lower half of his shaft every so often, never breaking eye contact. given the position difference between the two of you, he was like a king, perched up upon his throne and you were a measly peasant begging for the mercy of your monarch.
he inspected you carefully, his eyes scanning ravenously across your bare frame. how your knees began to redden from kneeling for so long, how your chest rose and fell with shaky, anxious breaths. how you avoided his gaze in all attempts that he’d tried to hold yours. your hands would come up to shield the swell of your breasts from his stare, despite him seeing those perfect, supple mounds many times over.
“crawl to me”, he mentioned this with a simple come-hither motion with his fingers. you remained still, the sound of his voice held so much dominance over you, yet you could not bring yourself to move, knees practically glued to the floor.
“don’t make me repeat myself, doll. you know how i get when you don’t listen”, the pet name sounded ridiculously foreign on his lips now, what was once a loving term of endearment was now a literal metaphor for how he treats you, and a derogatory one at that. you were like a literal doll to him, something that he could cherish and protect in his best moments, yet just as quickly shatter the porcelain of your psyche the next.
you gulped thickly, throat running dry as your palms met the carpet, slowly beginning to crawl in his direction. adam watched you closely, noticing how every so often you’d meet his stare with glossy, teary eyes, only to break your gaze again before repeating the action after a few seconds. almost as if you were seeking approval from him.
now kneeled before him, adam’s cock mere millimetres from your lips. his tip leaking, beads of pre-cum glistening against the flesh, so warm you could feel the heat radiating off his cock. he eyed you ravenously, attempting to convince you to please him without the use of his words, peering from your gaze down to his cock, then back up to your eyes once more. you reciprocated the eye contact, eyelashes batting softly with intrigue as you gazed upon his cock. the mere size of him was enough to make your throat run dry, standing at an impressive seven and a half inches, eight at most. his girth, you estimated, roughly about three in circumference. thick veins littered the underside of his shaft, running from base to tip, bulging against the skin with swells and throbs of arousal. it was an imposing sight to say the least.
adam patience was wearing thin, you could tell by the subtle knot in his brow, the way he would chew the inside of his cheek methodically, as a way to quell the rage that was burning inside him. he leaned forward slightly, his large stature looming over your frigid frame. the tip of his cock prodding against your bottom lip, precum glistening against the petaled bud, looking as if you’d just applied a fresh coat of gloss to them.
“open.”, his demand was stern. “don’t make me force myself in there, darlin’”
his voice was liquid velvet to your senses, sending shivers and pulses of warmth to your loins. adam always knew the effect his voice had on you. he could command and control your movements with a simple phrase. he was the puppeteer that manipulated your strings.
your throat ran dry as you opened for him, feeling the large appendage slap against the flat of your tongue, resting there idly for a moment while adam offered a smug smirk, loving the way spit pooled around the corners of your lips, slicking the tip, trailing down his shaft already and you had not even wrapped your lips around him yet, although the thought was daunting to you, there was absolutely no way he’d be able to fit, especially with how swollen and erect he’d become.
you managed to wrap your lips around the tip of his cock, it was all you could muster in that moment. beginning to bashfully suck him off, a blush creeping upon your cheeks, maintaining eye contact in order to seek his approval. adam’s dominance had died down, or so you hand thought in that moment, his movements were now gentle, a hand delicately massaging the back of your scalp, the sensation soothing your worries for the time being.
“there’s my good girl. so obedient isn’t she?”, the answer was rhetorical. a large palm fell to your cheek, smoothing the skin with the calloused part of his thumb, all the way down to your jawline. he held your face simply gazing into your eyes for a moment, swiping away any spit that dribbled around his tip.
his fingertips daintily traced shapes into your skin, lingering against your flesh in featherlight touches, travelling upward until he settled at the base of your scalp again, repeating the process of massaging, twirling the strands of hair between his fingertips. you hollow your cheeks around his tip, tongue swirling against the slit at pre-cum dripped onto the appendage, savouring the slightly salty liquid on your tastebuds, a subtle moan reverberating around the sensitive flesh, causing a slight shudder in his breathing and a moan to hitch in his throat.
“god…”, he muttered, a slight southern twang to the vowel. “such a perfect little cockslut, aren’t you?”
you couldn't nod to show him your appreciation, or respond to his praise. body feeling stiff and numb under the weight of his words. adam’s hand tightened its grip around your hair, wrapping the locks into a makeshift ponytail of some sort. without warning, the force of his cock felt past your tongue, buried deep down your throat. you gagged at the intrusion scratching at his thighs as the lack of air left your mind paralysed for a moment
“did you really think i was gonna go easy on you, doll?”, he smirked with a maniacal chuckle. your eyes rolled into the back of your skull, mind seemingly fading from lack of oxygen until he pulled his cock back ever the slightest, allowing for the minuscule amount of breathing room.
“hey!”, he slapped your cheek hard to rile you out of your fading state. “wake the fuck up!”
your eyelids shot open, body jolted awake by the slap.
“you fucking look at me when i’m talking to you.”, he slapped you again, harder this time, your cheek beginning to burn and ache from his touch. he pulled his cock out of your mouth momentarily, holding your jaw open and spitting onto your tongue, acting as a sort of lubricant for his cock as he forcibly shoved himself back down your throat, beginning his rapid assault.
adam gripped your skull with both hands, forcing your head down as he abused your throat. tears welled in your eyes from how rough he was being, how your throat was already fucked raw despite him only just beginning. spit pooling against your thighs, only adding to the pleasure that ripped through you. adam was in heaven, the way your throat constricted and pulsed around his shaft was nothing short of magical. your eyes were squeezed shut, simply revelling in the force of his cock. adam gave a rough tug at your scalp, knuckles burning white with the sheer grip he held.
“look. at. me.”, that southern drawl growing more stern on his tongue with each fleeting word, leaving you flinching and shying away into his thighs as each piercing syllable left his lips. your eyelids fluttered open cautiously, not wanting to seem too eager. slowly, your teary eyes traced up the length of his abdomen, across rippling muscles and tufts of blond nestled at his mound and atop his burly chest. across pink, parted lips breathing out sullen, faux praise with an insult or two, accompanied by laboured pants and subtle curses. finally, your eyes met his, settling on those cornflower blues that had become so foreign to you in these last few months.
no longer did they hold the warm, charismatic charm adam was known for, nor did they hold any real adoration for you. they seemed blank, void of emotion, as if the colour itself was fading from that deep almost crystal-like blue to a sunken steely grey. still, you held his gaze. hoping, praying for just even a sliver of mercy from him.
“you're nothing.”, his voice blunt and straight to the point. “you’re only a hole for me to fuck.”
even under the guise of play, his words still stung, feeling like thorns slowly being pressed into the ventricles of your heart, wrapping around your veins, constricting the air in your throat. as much as you wanted to break his gaze, wipe the tears that spilled down your cheeks, mingling with the spit on your thighs, you remained stoic, letting him use and abuse your throat until he saw fit.
silence flooded adam’s throat, aside from the occasional soft grunt or groan here and there. he spoke in soft curses and profanities, none of which addressed to you in the slightest, ignoring the fact that his cock was still buried in the back of your throat, how you still continued to please him despite the verbal beratement you endured from him.
“fucking take all of it.”, adam grumbled through clenched teeth, both hands holding your head steady as he continued to abuse the back of your thr0at, surely to leave bruising one he was finished. your lips wrapped around his shaft, buried to the hilt as he used your mouth as a makeshift fleshlight, ignoring your quiet gurgles and choked sputters around him. your eyes red and burning, salty with hot tears, spit creating pools on your thighs and the carpet below. yet he offered you no peace, and without warning emptied himself down your throat.
he held your head down, forcing you to take every last drop of him. your nails clawing at his thighs, dragging against the skin in frantic strokes, desperate for air as lines and rivers of red painted his flesh. he adored the sight, you so helpless beneath him, literally choking on his seed, gasping around his cock. your movements began to slow as they did previously, this time adam was quick to act, pulling his cock from your throat as you gasped and coughed finally able to get fresh air into your lungs. what little of his seed you had not forcibly swallowed already dripped down your chin, glazing the tops of your knuckles as your hands fell to your throat, as if grasping the external flesh would provide soothing relief to your oesophagus.
with reddened eyes you shot him a glare that could kill, still trying to regain your breath after almost asphyxiating on his cock. he paid you no mind, simply beckoning you to stand with a simple curl of his finger. you obeyed. once again the puppeteer strikes. you stood up, being led by his forcible grip on your forearm, dragging you close to him until your dripping cunt was positioned parallel to his thigh. the flesh thick, reminiscent of a fallen tree log.
adam’s hand rested upon your shoulder, the sensation made you flinch slightly as it was far gentler than he’d previously been, or that you were used to. your scalp ached, throat beaten and raw, despite not uttering any words you felt it hurt to speak. adam cupped your cheek daintily with his free hand, smoothing over the supple skin of your cheek. the flesh puffy and swollen, induced by your cries. adam’s fingers traced delicate shapes across your skin, thumb faintly ghosting across your bottom lip, holding its position, parting them slightly. he held his gaze for a moment, as if he were inspecting you. he took time to gaze upon your features, how the whites of your eyes were glazed over, littered with popped blood vessels only reddening their appearance. cheeks stained red with salty tears, the tip of your nose matching that sentiment, as if you’d been standing outside in the blistering cold for hours. your lips puffy, their pinkish hue more vibrant, matching that of a highlighter pink rather than a rose.
adam offered you a gentle smile, far softer than any previous emotion that he displayed, although this smile did not reach his eyes, those blues still void of any semblance of human emotion. he was far too stoic, too calm for your liking. his hand flew across your cheek, suddenly, harshly, like a strong gust of wind almost knocking you out of his lap. a sensation that left your already reddening cheek burning, stinging with a mixture of pain and desire. his smile faded, resumed was the scowl that he previously donned, a hand still firmly placed upon your shoulder.
“sit.”, he demanded, his voice still holding a domineering grasp over you as he pushed you down onto his exposed thigh. the second your cunt made contact with his skin, you knew it was game over on your part, succumbing to the sensation as he subtly began to bounce his leg up and down. your hips automatically gyrating to match his movements.
“pathetic.”, he mocked, smoothing down his beard, the wiry strands of dirty blond having grown out since you saw him last, maybe a week or two ago. “can’t even wait to get off on my cock”.
your whimpers fell from your lips in small breathless pants, wanting to so desperately thank him for the pleasure you were receiving. your hips gliding back and forth against his thigh, leaving a trail of slickness glistening upon his skin.
“i bet it feels real good doesn't it? that pathetic little cunt all overstimulated for me?”, adam cocked his head to the side mockingly, a sly smirk evident across his lips, his canines making themselves apparent against the pinkish hue of his lips. you nodded, a small hum of pleasure falling from your tongue, a futile response it was. his large palm cupping your breast for a moment, kneading the pillowly flesh as it bounced in his palms with the jolts and gyrations of your hips. not long before a sudden thwack sound rang through your ears, his fingertips coming into contact with the top of your breast, a mere hare’s breath away from your nipple, you gasped at the sudden contact, squirming and writhing on his thigh as his fingerprints became evident in your skin, outlined in slowly-forming reddening splotches.
“and who makes you feel that way, hmm?”, his voice was substantially softer, yet the mocking tone still held its favour, still taunting you with such sarcastic cadence. your vocal chords seemingly fried, throat still burned raw, each letter, every vowel, consonant and syllable felt as if you’d swallowed broken glass than haphazardly tossed and processed through a meat grinder.
“answer me, darlin’”, he held your chin, forcing you to continue to hold his gaze. your hips grew tired, pulse between your thighs beginning to rise as your cunt throbbed against his skin.
“y-you, daddy…”, you managed to croak out. voice hoarse with a dry and gritty tone. swallowing had become almost unbearable as did talking. the less of it you could do the better.
“good girl.”, adam’s voice held a sweet yet sombre tone. the facade of dominance had almost faltered from his voice and body, if not for the death grip he held on your waist. your juices dripping from beneath your thighs, as your tummy burst and swirled with arousal. adam with his quick thinking, lifted your hips up, watching your sweetness pool in a puddle of slickness on his skin, so glossy against his tanned flesh.
“such a messy little thing, lets see how much of a mess you make on my cock”, adam propped you onto his lap. your hips now barely straddling his, leaving some room for his cock to tease your dripping, entrance. his tip nestled against your folds, gathering your slickness, lubing up the thick appendage.
“daddy please no more…”, you begged half-heartedly, mind still in a daze from your orgasm, still trying to comprehend it in fact. yet your body still yearned for him, your cunt throbbed and pulsed for the feeling of his cock buried deep inside you, penetrating and filling your womb with his seed.
“no more?”, adam’s brows furrowed with a faux, mocking confusion, slipping the tip of his cock into your aching void, feeling you stretch around his girth. your body squirming against his substantially larger one, trying to adjust to the size of his cock.
“darlin’”, he spoke with a disgusting sweetness, smoothing stray strands of hair that clung to your forehead with perspiration. “i’ve barely started with you. i’m gonna fuck you until your womb is full and pathetic pussy is dripping with my cum”.
he made no effort in easing you in, simply pushing you down onto his cock like he had previously done with you on his thigh. fingers digging into your hips until purple and red marks were left in their wake. his cock practically splitting you open, stretching your tight walls until you were left crying and begging for him to show mercy. still he remained absent, mentally. he would not look you in the eye aside for times to chastise and mock you. instead those cornflower blues would fall upon your breasts, hungrily eyeing the mounds of flesh as they bounced and jiggled with each violent slam of his hips.
it made you feel used, like an object only desired for his sexual gratification. it was demeaning, humiliating. it made you feel like a common whore, rather than the woman in the arms of her lover.
adam’s cock throbbed deep inside of you, still oversensitive from his first orgasm of the night. he continued in silence, the air filled with the occasional grunt or scream of pleasure on your part. feeling your walls constrict around his length, orgasm crashing around his cock as you begged for him to cease. yet he did not, fucking you deep through your orgasm until it was his turn for release. white hot ropes of his lust filled your void to the brim, seeping from your walls as he pulled your hips up, watching dribbles of white drip down your thighs, as your cunt pulsed thickly around air.
he placed you on the ground with a thud, not hard enough to be considered a throw, but hard enough to have an audible hiss leave your lips. he stood over the top of you, seemingly admiring the mess he made of you, cunt leaking with his cum, breasts red and bruised from his slaps, mascara running freely down your tear stained cheeks.
“look at you, you’re a mess. get yourself cleaned up and then come to bed”
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