#or if you don't want to be also lmk lol
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reefer-keifer Ā· 9 months ago
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thanks for the tag @whatssocivilboutwaranyway gonna start a new one cuz it was getting long lol
Rules: you can tell a lot about a person by the music they listen to. Put your mp3 player, iTunes, Spotify, etc. on shuffle and list the first 10 songs and then tag 10 people. Rules: No Skipping!
(i'm shuffling a few daily mixes because i don't like songs on spotify)
photograph - def leppard
is this love - whitesnake
locomotive breath - w.a.s.p.
i want a woman - ratt
one more reason - l.a. guns
miles away - winger
sweet little sister - skid row
only the young - journey
down incognito - winger
burning like a flame - dokken
no pressure tags to @lord-of-the-weird @only-a-heartbeat-away @greeneyezblackheart @dreamcastgirl99 @amiscreations and whoever else wants to
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wikiangela Ā· 11 months ago
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wip wednesday
tagged by @theotherbuckley šŸ’–
I wasn't gonna post any today bc progress slowed down with working mornings again and having to actually sleep at night šŸ™„šŸ˜‚, but i'm so excited about this fic and I'm loving it and I just wanna share it all lol
prev snippet
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ā€œIā€™m fine.ā€ Buck responds through gritted teeth. Heā€™s okay, heā€™s fine, he can do this. ā€œI donā€™t know why Iā€™m crying.ā€ he laughs, wiping his cheeks with one hand. He needs to get a grip. At least while heā€™s driving. ā€œThis is all so stupid, Iā€™m fine, everything is fine.ā€ he takes a deep breath.
ā€œYou donā€™t have to be fine. Not with me.ā€ Eddie says, and he sounds almost desperate. Desperate for Buck to listen, to hear him. He sounds so earnest and gentle, and Buck can imagine those piercing eyes that always feel like Eddieā€™s looking into his soul, and he canā€™t handle this. He canā€™t handle being so cared for, he doesnā€™t deserve this. He doesnā€™t deserve someone as wonderful as Eddie. All he does is make him worry. All he does is make everyone worry. (...) Eddie once said Buck's the guy who wants to fix everything, and itā€™s true. He wants to fix everything for everyone he loves. Heā€™s the only thing thatā€™s unfixable, though. And he hates that people even try, only to get burned in the process.
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no pressure tags: @elvensorceress @gaydiaz @diazass @thebravebitch @silentxxsoul @shortsighted-owl @eddiebabygirldiaz @arthursdent @911onabc @housewifebuck @watchyourbuck @underwater-ninja-13 @eowon @loserdiaz @evanbegins @ladydorian05 @wildlife4life @diazpatcher @lover-of-mine @monsterrae1 @thewolvesof1998 @puppyboybuckley @weewootruck @buckaroosheart @spagheddiediaz @steadfastsaturnsrings @rainbow-nerdss @malewifediaz @giddyupbuck @jeeyuns @epicbuddieficrecs @pirrusstuff @spotsandsocks @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove @hoodie-buck @nmcggg @jesuisici33 @exhuastedpigeon @rogerzsteven @honestlydarkprincess @hippolotamusĀ @fortheloveofbuddie @diazsdimples @daffi-990 @disasterbuckdiaz
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specialized-rexan Ā· 8 months ago
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SCREENSHOTS I GOT FROM THE JEREMY JORDAN LIVESTREAM YESTERDAY. especially love the comments on his duck drawings. he was very proud of some of them since he needed to practice before the stream. he admits he does not draw much lol
and here's Lucifer's signature that Jeremy came up with: a cursive capital L attached to a pentagram!
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the stream was SO FUN and literally only felt like 20 minutes even tho it was almost an hour
at one point he mentioned he's making pancakes with olive oil now since he has high cholesterol, and that he LOVES how the pancakes turned out. someone responded:
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(later someone joked he should make pancakes with bacon grease and he almost shouted (not angrily) "DO YOU WANT ME TO DIE? I JUST SAID I HAVE HIGH CHOLESTEROL. I just said. I had high cholesterol. Are you TRYING. To kill me."
anyway back to screenshots lol)
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"Take that, depression!" was a popular quote to write on prints, and he said he hoped we're not depressed and it was very sweet
some more quotes written during the stream and other notes:
"I'm gonna be signing these prints of my boy Lucifer, the short king of Hell"
he drank both a cold smoothie and hot tea during the stream. "Doesn't make any goddamn sense, but here we go."
"It's never too late to fuck up--too late to fuck shit up" (a legitimate accidental stammer. but still perfect in its own way)
"Every time I hear the name 'Shay' I think of my daughter's friend at school. My daughter's obsessed with a friend named Shay. 'S all she talks about. 'Shay Shay Shay Shay Shay Shay.' Shay and Madeline. It's like 'You can be your own person. Clara. You are your own HUMAN.' ā€¦HAPPY BIRTHDAY, KATHERINE."
hopes to go to some conventions for Hazbin Hotel. more likely to go to cons in New York, New Jersey (where he lives), or Philly area
"He's just a li'l cutie. :3 Is he really da bosh? :3" (wondering if Lucifer really is the Big Boss of Hell Himself or if it's just more of a title)
"Hope you're not depressed"
" 'Write something Lucifer would say to cheer someone up.' And I think Lucifer would think thatā€¦ 'SINGING MAKES EVERYTHING BETTER!' At least when it comes to rebuilding your relationship with your daughter."
"Guess what's in my smoothie. There are six ingredients. Go."
"ā€¦said draw a little duck, so I drew the smallest duck I could. (holds print up to camera then says in small high-pitched voice:) It's a little duck!"
MORE QUOTES UNDER THE CUT. THIS POST IS GETTING LONG ASFQJSKSKSKKS
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about his smoothie again: "Obviously, I just went to the gym. So I gotta have some kinda supplement in there. ... WHAT'S THE BASE, Y'ALL? YOU GOTTA HAVE A BASE." (someone could use that audio and give a character a bass guitar lol)
(still about people guessing smoothie ingredients:) "WATER? Why would I put water in my smoothie. (mutters:) Water is for losers. ... Kale! -grins and points at camera- That's it! You win. That's my smoothie."
his smoothie was blueberries, bananas, strawberries, protein powder, almond milk, kale
"ā€¦with a hUUGE shmiley faysh! :3" (about a little " =) " smile he wrote with an autograph)
"THAT DUCK IS CUTE!"
"We love, we stan Lilith"
AGGRESSIVELY, ABOUT A JOKE HE MADE: "GET IT?"
Some fatherly advice from Lucifer: "Don't fuck up your lives like I did šŸ˜Ž"
HE SANG THE START OF HELL'S GREATEST DAD AND WANTS A MIMZY-LESS VERSION THAT ACTUALLY HAS AN ENDING QSJFKSKKSKS
he's only seen Hazbin Hotel once, and he had "~champagne fountains, caviar mountains, that's just to staaart~" going through his head for the two+ years between recording his lines and the show airing. he wasn't able to tell anyone it because of non-disclosure stuff, and eventually he even forgot what that song line was from. but it still went through his head
"[Person he was signing an autograph for] is a bi girl [bisexual], and that's pretty baller"
"AN INCREDIBLE DUCK YOU SHALL HAVE"
"Take that depression!! Quack"
"Hold please!" (i just liked imagining Lucifer saying almost any small thing)
Jeremy Jordan says Lucifer is short, and not just that all the other characters are tall (i cannot confirm that that is canon even tho that's what i want LOL) "What gives!? There are short people in this world, and they need some love"
someone asked what he thinks about OC x canon ships. he was confused about what OC means and then when the chat explained, he was confused about how "OC x canon" works. but he figured it out after thinking for a moment. "So basically everybody wants to fuck Lucifer. GOT IT."
"Am I going to Hell for this" (about all the pentagrams he's drawing)
"ā€¦so i just did a bunch of stars and hearts around Emery's name šŸ’œ"
someone asked about his favorite Hazbin Hotel song, and he answered that season 2 has a rock song he really likes šŸ‘€ šŸ‘€
"(a requested phrase for an autograph:) 'Duck lord loves you no matter what.' ...Don't know what that particularly means butā€¦"
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reinedeslys-central Ā· 5 months ago
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"I think you should totally get in the back of my truck, actually," Leo says, linking pinkies with Jason. "What's the line? 'I can show you the world'?"
Jason stares down at where their fingers are curled together, peach on olive. He can't stop looking. "You don't have a truck."
Leo groans. "That was one time. I promise this one's legal. See?" He gently untangles their hands and slips behind the blue Chevy, returning with a slip of wrinkled paper that he triumphantly shoves in Jason's face.
LEO, I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU BREAK MY CAR WHILE I'M IN IOWA I WILL HAUNT YOU TO THE END OF TIME.
Your loving cousin, Nyssa (P.S. You can take your boy for a ride. I'll allow it. There's blankets in the back (and please help yourself to the glovebox). Don't tell me.)
Jason's eyes travel down the sparkly purple pen, catching on the note at the bottom before flickering back up. There's something that aches in his chest at the words 'your boy'.
He's not sure what expression takes over his face, but Leo, for his part, sees him and immediately ducks his head down so he can read the paper too, frowning. Jason follows his eyes down to the same line as they widen and Leo turns a raging, glorious red before hastily re-crumpling the note and sticking it into one of the many pockets of his cargo pants.
He clears his throat awkwardly while inspecting the dying grass at their feet. It looks like it could be good grass if it ever rains again this month, nice and long and thick.
..Yeah, nevermind.
He takes his glasses off and cleans them in an attempt to - what, exactly? It's not like he's got the object permanence of a toddler. It's not like looking away will stop him from thinking about red-hot blushes and bouncing curls and sharp smiles and -
Leo claps once, calling Jason's attention back up to him and the pretty blush staining his freckled nose. He looks just as awkward, laughing bashfully.
"Well, that's just Nyssa. Uh, she probably wouldn't actually haunt me, she doesn't believe in ghosts - not, I mean, if you do -" his words trip over each other, diverting the original innuendo that was definitely just meant to tease Leo since Jason's never even met her, not to mention he's not his, finally ending with - "but as you can see, it's clearly perfectly legal. So."
Jason raises an eyebrow. "Somehow I doubt that." Leo groans. "Oh, come on, dude, live a little, why dontcha?" He sidles up to him again, draping a warm arm over his shoulders and drawing him over to the car doors. "I know, you know, your dad's in California, your mom's in Paris, and your sister's at a party."
Jason opens his mouth to protest again and -
"- and before you say that you have homework," Leo scoffs, "allow me to remind you that we did our homework together yesterday, and you're already done your math homework for tomorrow, because you're a nerd."
Jason closes his mouth. "It's a school night," he offers weakly.
"Yeah, and every minute you have us waste out here is another minute we're not in the car, ergo another minute we're wasting, on a school night." Leo steps around him and holds his hands out again, eventually latching on to Jason's wrists and tugging him closer so he can peer into his eyes.
Jason may or may not forget how to breathe.
"Are you tired? You don't look tired," Leo frowns. "If you really don't want to go, I won't force you, y'know."
Jason forces his lungs to expand, contract, expand, so he can blurt out, "No, I mean, you got me. I'll go."
Leo grins as bright as the setting sun and twists around, whooping. He not-so-gently pushes Jason towards the car door before jogging over to hop into the driver's seat.
It takes a while, once they're actually on the road and leaving their neighbourhoods behind, that Jason finally goes, "You know, I'm just as concerned with how legal this is as I am with the fact that you still haven't told me where we're going."
Leo glares at him through the mirror. "Hey, if I told you then it wouldn't be a surprise, now would it?"
Jason hates surprises. "For all I know, you just kidnapped me for a surprise road trip to Toronto, and I didn't even pack my toothbrush."
Laughter bubbles out of the boy sitting at the wheel, quickly escalating into a full guffaw. "You're funny," Leo gasps, wiping away tears at a red light. "How did I not notice that you're funny?"
Jason's definitely never been told that he's funny. He might joke, sure, but being 'funny' is reserved for people like Percy, people like Leo or Cecil, who carry humour on them like sugar on a pastry, baked into their laughs and sprinkled over top with how clever they are.
No matter how hard Jason's tried, he's never been very clever.
Leo's still laughing, now more of a soft giggle as he pulls into the left lane to make a turn. He tries not to let it affect him.
"You should joke more often, dude. Bet all the girls would love that."
Jason looks outside at the trees and farms they're passing. Judging by the position of the sun, they're heading pretty much due south. There's nothing down south for them to be doing, though, especially not this late at night.
Skinny dipping, maybe. He wouldn't put it past Leo to suggest something like that and actually go through with it. But dragging him along? They barely know each other. What's a couple months on all the other people he knows?
"You wanna turn the radio on?" Leo says. Jason looks over to see him watching him with an odd smile. "Shotgun's choice, right? Don't worry, I won't judge. Even though I bet you listen to those 24-hour 'nature recordings' for fun and don't know what real music sounds like."
Jason rolls his eyes and plays with the dial until the 106.1 comes on. Leo groans. "Seriously? They keep playing, like, the same six artists over and over. Sure, Top 40's fine, but show a little variety, you know?"
He shrugs. It's like Leo said - he doesn't really know radio stations. His dad - when he deigns to drive the family places - is much more of a silence-of-doom, or failing that, an ominous-car-conversations person. "You put something on, then, if you're so set on it." He replies.
The warm light from the street plays over Leo's knuckles as he switches the wheel to one hand, blindly flailing the other one towards Jason until he hits the box behind the gear shift. "Pick a CD from here, whatever's fine. Eh, maybe not the Chopin or Metallica though. Might shift the vibe a bit too much."
Obligingly, Jason tugs at the black, faux-leather box until it comes open with a muffled thunk. Inside is a stack of CDs, spanning everything from Katy Perry to Vivaldi to Iron Maiden to Monsta X.
"Your cousin's got quite the music taste," he tosses out, rifling through the stack while giving periodic glances out the window to make sure they're not, like, five seconds away from a crash or something.
If there was anything Beryl Grace taught her kids, it was how to be a responsible passenger.
Almost on autopilot, Jason digs the pink-purple Teenage Dream CD out of the pile and then has to hastily shove the polaroids that spill out from underneath it back between the surrounding paper disc-sleeves (Mamma Mia!, he sees, and ..Heng:garƦ? Whatever that means). That can't be safe for the discs, especially in a moving card, but then again who is he to judge. He doesn't even own any CDs.
They've fully left the town behind now, sailing down the open road with nothing but trees, farms, and the occasional streetlight in sight. He leans over and pops the disc into the CD drive, wondering again for the hundredth time where Leo's taking him.
Leo rolls to a stop at a four-way and watches him skip over the first two songs. "Whadya choose?"
Jason smiles. "Is now a good time to tell you I was born in Pasadena?"
The open bars of 'California Gurls' start to play, and Leo's warm, penny-brown eyes widen before he laughs, bright and a touch wild, incredulous.
It's weird. It's so weird. Maybe this is what his father meant when he said not to get any weird ideas in his head so close to finally reaching the decade-long goal of an Ivy League school. Maybe this is what his mother meant when she'd chastised him, saying hormonal teenagers got more impulsive with puberty and he should take care to keep listening to his parents, lest he lose everything he's worked so hard for.
If anyone else had tried this, he thinks, he wouldn't have said yes. He would have stayed at home, studied ahead for bond enthalpy and subjunctive Spanish, made tomorrow's lunch and cleaned his room. Adhering to routine. Acting - being normal.
You have to be normal, Jason. That's how they love you.
I will not tolerate an abnormal son.
Oh, Jason, it's like you just don't understand. What will people say? About you? About our family?
Leo isn't normal. Or maybe he is. Normal doesn't exist, when he's with Leo. He likes that about him.
He takes a risk and rolls the window down halfway so he can lean his head out and watch the sky, crisp wind tousling his hair. Leo smirks at him and switches the wheel to his right hand so he can roll his window down to match.
"Ten minutes," he says. "Look alive, buddy."
"There must be something in the water", Katy Perry croons.
also from 'burning like a glowing star', this valgrace fic I'm writing.
more stuff: Writing Directory
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desperatepleasures Ā· 11 months ago
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JUST HAD AN IDEA. please add whatever song is currently (or was recently) stuck in your head to this spotify playlist, then (optional) reblog and put in tags what song it was!
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cool-ultrakill-url Ā· 7 months ago
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At this point I think my ideal gender presentation would be to look transfem butch-esque. Idk is that weird to say lol? Asking for y'all's point of view on this.
I don't wanna demean transfem transitions since, well, this is a transmasc speaking here. I just really like how a lot of more androgynous transfem people look. Like the general silhouette, the way clothes fit on them, the way they do makeup (if they wear any) and how their hair looks when they've just grown it out. It looks really cool to me. I'm an androgyne/multigender/??? and the fem part of me aches to look like That. I would be so much more comfortable with the Womanā„¢ side of my gender if I did...
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wispurring-moss Ā· 6 months ago
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āœØšŸ“» Just Alastor šŸ“»āœØ
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When I can't even read my own feelings What good are words when a smile says it all? And if this world won't write me an ending What will it take just for me to have it all?
......idk, just another really silly idea that wouldn't leave me alone until i drew it,,, ĀÆ\_(;;į› )_/ĀÆ he just kinda gives off a similar kinda vibe, yanno~? x3c
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frostfires-blog Ā· 2 years ago
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LYRICS IN BNHA ENDING THEME SONGS THAT COULD ALLUDE TO BAKUDEKU
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Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6
P.S: Part 2 is now out on my blog!
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anpanmann Ā· 9 months ago
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šŸ’­
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imminent-danger-came Ā· 1 year ago
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While the lily orchard review didnā€™t do anything like calling the show bad (they actually praised it a lot but for some strange reasons imo) they did miss a lot of the main points of the show and lightheartedly insulted people who were making angsty fanart of it (they also didnā€™t credit the artist which was odd) I think they had only watched until season 2 at that point but season 2 was still pretty intense even if it wasnā€™t as bad as 3 and 4 so I donā€™t understand why they called it a ā€œSaturday morning cartoonā€ because it clearly has an overarching plot. One of the quotes taken directly from the video is ā€œThereā€™s nothing in the plot thatā€™s going to shock you or make you think about the human condition.ā€ They said that people making the show seem dark were missing the point of the show. Thatā€™s pretty much it I think which isnā€™t too bad but it does not give the show credit for how they handle a lot of stuff imo
Okay so, watching s1 of the show? I totally understand the "saturday morning cartoon" perspective of LMK. That's what it is at the beginningā€”I have a half written meta in my drafts about LMK and "saturday morning cartoon" type tropes.
However, I also argue that s2 begings to deconstruct those tropesā€”take for example 2x05 "Minor Scale". That's an episode with what I would consider to be a tropey plot: "Oh no! The main character gets shrunk!". But, unlike a lot of previous episodes (like 1x06 being the "racing episode" or 1x02 being the "Main character is overworked and turns to a sketchy solution to fix their problem" episode), Minor Scale shifts us away from these monster of the week type plots. The whole reason MK shrinks to begin with is because he's belittling himself ("Maybe if someone was here to teach me! 'Oh you'll figure it out bud, just think little!' Ugh, like I could do this on my own."), which in itself is already a unique way to implement this sort of trope. But, not only that, rather than a little tease and a subtle feeling of the heroes continually losing like in the beginning of s2, the Lady Bone Demon reveals herself directly to MK. She manipulates MK, she gets inside his head, she makes him question his worth to Monkey King.
This pattern of "everything starts out normal and then dips into something darker" continues for the rest of s2. 2x07-2x10 all start out like you would expectā€”monster of the week "saturday morning cartoon" adventure set upsā€”that then take a turn for the worse during the episode.
Like, don't get me wrong, s2 isn't like s3, and I'd say it takes until s4 for LMK to truly deliver on everything it's set up, but s2 still has plenty. Minor Scale (STRAIGHT fate vs freewill directly into the veins with MK literally running away from the narrative), Macaque's shadow play ("Heroes inevitably bring darkness to those they hold dear" *sobs* THEY WEREN'T LYING ABOUT THAT), Sandy's sincere belief that helping his friends is where his true value lies (yet he breaks his vow to never fight again), MK's desperation in 2x09, LBD's inevitable victory.
Honestly, watching the way in which MK's mental illness manifests in the first 2 seasons makes even s1 of LMK unique. I remember watching Bad Weather (1x01) and being surprised that MK was so down on himself after the "I'm invincible!!!" facade fell.
But, ultimately, LMK starting with "saturday morning cartoon" tropes and then slowly transitioning into the darker and more plot focused episodes is completely on purpose. The start of the show, the "monster of the week adventures", is the home MK wishes, but cannot, return to. That simplicity and innocence turning to complexity and impiety is part of MK's "coming of age" story, and it's why I like the show.
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princesssarcastia Ā· 10 months ago
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god that post about child abuse got me thinking about a passage from a fantastic hal jordan/bruce wayne fic by @/fabula-unica, which is actually very sweet despite the excerpt i'm about to post. a few years ago I did my best to try and verify it and it seems like it's true, but i'll leave you with the caveat that i'm not 100% certain.
Anyway. Excerpt from Getting It Right, by fabularasa on ao3.
ā€œIā€™ve been thinking about X-rays,ā€ Bruce said, examining the edges of his cone. ā€œX-rays,ā€ Jordan said. ā€œMm hm. They used to use them for everything we now use CT, ultrasound, MRI for ā€“ they used to X-ray people for anything and everything, even pregnant women, before they understood the dangers of continued radiation exposure.ā€ ā€œOkay.ā€ Bruce balled up his napkin and tossed it at the bin. He missed. ā€œUnbelievable,ā€ Jordan said, staring at his napkin. ā€œHow the fuck do you miss that.ā€ ā€œThe breeze knocked me off course. Anyway, the thing is, when they started X-raying children, doctors saw the strangest thing. Almost every other child they X-rayed had multiple hairline fractures. It was incredible. It rearranged what doctors had thought about the growth and development of human bone, because how could pediatricians have missed all those breaks? America must be in the grip of massive undiagnosed malnutrition, is what they thought.ā€ He gave his butter brickle another few licks. Jordan beside him was silent. ā€œIt wasnā€™t malnutrition,ā€ Bruce said. ā€œAmericans were just systematically beating the shit out of their children, and had been for years, and no one ever knew about it or talked about it. They did it for no other reason than they could, and because they wouldnā€™t get caught. When doctors finally figured out what they were looking at, thatā€™s when the term ā€˜child abuseā€™ was coined. You donā€™t see that phrase in any medical or popular literature before X-rays. Not incidentally the national child abuse epidemic was one of the reasons for the legalization of abortion in the early 70s ā€“ people assumed that children were being beaten because they were unwanted, and that if you could just solve that problem, then child abuse would go away. As if people beat children for any reason other than evil, and as if evil could be legislated out of existence.ā€
god. what a country we live in. what a world.
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pinkdean Ā· 2 years ago
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Hiiii I got tagged by @freakdean, @bloodydeanwinchester, @trannydean and @castielsprostate (thank you all!!!) to shuffle my spotify on repeat playlist and post the first ten songs that came up
To Hurry Things Along by Goodnight, Texas
A Little Bit of Everything by Dawes
And it's Still Alright by Nathaniel Rateliff
By and By by Caamp
Fake Out by Fall Out Boy
So Good Right Now by Fall Out Boy
Everybody Breaks by Ivan and Alyosha
Stick Season by Noah Kahan
Flu Game by Fall Out Boy
You Should've Seen the Other Guy by Nathaniel Rateliff
Not sure who's already been tagged, but I'll tag @casboobs @raspberryfemme @girlfriendcas @milfcodeddean @scooby-cas and @plutoniclesbian if you want to post yours!
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achilleslyre Ā· 10 months ago
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hiiii does anyone here like kakashi and/or sakura? i don't want these lol i'll send them to you for shipping + like $10 cad for all three
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orchidscurse Ā· 2 years ago
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whatā€™s ur favorite album?
you don't expect me to name just one right cause you are getting an entire list...
the horror and the wild - the amazing devil
sea change - beck
modern life is rubbish - blur
illinois - sufjan stevens
kimono my house - sparks
ocean rain - echo & the bunnymen
songs from the big chair - tears for fears
lola vs powerman - the kinks
dead mans party - oingo boingo
the kick inside - kate bush
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poemwithoutahero Ā· 2 years ago
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i was tagged by @niwara to list 9 books that i want to read this year!! tysm jo <3
from left to right: swanns way by marcel proust / the sea, the sea by iris murdoch / metropolis by ben wilson / the baron in the trees by italo calvino / khushboo by parveen shakir / the case of peter pan, or the impossibility of children's fiction by jacqueline rose / god's silence by franz wright / devil house by john darnielle / straw for the fire by theodore roethke
tagging! @predskazanje, @nangua, @blackpeacoat, @2ndhandbooks, @mercuriian, @jonismitchell & @skogenflicka (but only if you want to! šŸ’—)
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revengesworn Ā· 2 years ago
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Mikey can feel himself shaking.
He hates it. This weakness - this fear and the heart-pounding terror that, at times like these,Ā  always emerges from so deep in his core that it feels like it defines him. Heā€™s supposed to be strong. How can he be a leader when he canā€™t carry the people he loves through their pain and beyond? He can barely even manage to stand on his own two feet, let alone protect the people he cares about.
Heā€™s always been weak, and heā€™s always hated the weak. The weak canā€™t do a thing. If they just tried a little harder, fought a little more, then theyā€™d be able to protect themselves and the people they love... but they donā€™t even try. The weak make excuses, and bring nothing but misery to those around them, and thereā€™s no-one out there weaker than Mikey.
He can lie, and deny it to himself, but... at times like these, he knows the truth.
But that doesnā€™t mean heā€™ll accept it. No matter how much it hurts, heā€™ll stop his body from shaking and put a smile on his face as if nothing is wrong... because Baji deserves it, after all - heā€™s the one who really suffered here.
As he enters the hospital room, Mikey feels his heart come to a stop. Itā€™s just for a moment, as he sets eyes on Baji - whoā€™s alive, heā€™s not dead; oh god he couldā€™ve died too - but a barely-strained smile forms on his face regardless. Heā€™s scared, because he doesnā€™t know if Baji will be happy to see him. But..
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ā€œBaji. ...You really scared everyone, you know.ā€
@prxenuntiusā€‹ ( starter for baji! )
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